#i kinda wanna leave this untagged

[whatacartouchebag]

Hrm 🙃

[void-imp]

dudessss i hate to be that guy but please tag your nsfw posts

i know there's been a lot of talk of puritan behaviour in the community but leaving your explicitly sexual or gory content untagged is not a flex or power move against those people, it's just kinda... shitty

you're 100% allowed to post whatever you want to but it's just a nice courtesy to give people the opportunity to curate their own feed and avoid content that might be upsetting to them or just something you wouldn't wanna get caught looking at in the bus lmao

[arabaka]

I just saw a bunch of really gross stuff pop up on my tumblr untagged and I’m kinda breaking down do you have any cute funny Reigen and/or Serizawa thoughts plz

ʚ｡ﾟ☁︎｡ɞ｡ oh god friend i'm so sorry :( i am so sorry that happened to you, i hope you were able to recover and do something nice for yourself!!! it would be my honor to provide cute and funny thoughts <3

giving serizawa cute note kisses and then pecking him all over his cheeks, telling him he's the cutest in the world and he gets so bashful. almost as if he's never heard that about him before you.

dressed to the nines with serizawa, him in a black suit and you hooked on his arm. motioning for him to come close when you're in public, only for you to whisper, "you look so good tonight, katsuya." and he just gets the biggest smile.

cozying up to serizawa, both of you sharing an oversized blanket while he plays the new video game you got him. you didn't think he'd stay up all night playing (your first mistake) but you refused to leave his side the entire time, even passing out on his lap and getting the best rest of your night.

serizawa introducing you to serimama (HAHAHA) and she just LOVES you. IMMEDIATELY takes you in as her own, so so happy someone loves her son as much as she does and cries the sweetest happy tears when she sees you two affectionate with each other.

holding hands under the table with reigen before you two go public <3 his thumb drawing tender circles around the top of your hand every now and then.

being the one to take reigen's headshots in the future but you can't get much done because you're gushing every time and so his face just gets progressively redder and redder. AHA

inviting reigen to meet your friends and you spend the entire time gassing him up. "he has a consultation business and he's AMAZING at what he does! honey, where are you business cards? everyone needs one!" and when you step out to go to the bathroom or whatever, your friends look at reigen with so much joy in their eyes when they say, "you two are perfect for each other."

"i wanna be the big spoon this time." you tell reigen pouting and he lets you, but he never realized he would enjoy it so much. <3 he goes right to sleep.

[dittolicous]

Hello, different anon; I come from the perspective of always seeing the kinky and fetish fic as the canary in the coal mine. I’ve seen the rise and fall of many online platforms, and usually onces the canary dies, it becomes open season on whoever else doesn’t reach the agreed stranded. Which usually results is sweeping bans that hurt allot of folks who aren’t even involved.

I completely understand folks not wanting to engage and interact with that kind of fic or that side of fandom, which is why having tags/filters/blacklist to help manage one’s internet experience is so important.

Content warnings are clearly stated at the start is the most important thing.

Yeah, I can definitely see that perspective too. It's kinda similar to the whole dividing the LGBTQA+ idea, in a way, where a they try to divide us and use in-fighting to weaken us. And then the leopards eat our faces too.

Course thats a huge over-simplication (and again works on good faith that no ones trying to groom or genuinely support IRL taboos). And in defense, proper tagging can be a real issue, with like Tumblr/Twitter being HORRID about showing you things you don't wanna see, and certain topics can intersect in very troubling ways (ex. how do you avoid creating fan content for sibling characters without incest fans projecting on to it, and handling feeling gross that someone saw incest in a thing you made? what if you based it off your own sibling interaction, how would that make you feel? this can leave one not wanting to create for that anymore from squick. but if you make a point of them not interacting with it/creating a dni, you may get mocked or hated on as well, with people doing so anyhow, making a *point* to do so, or what if you interact with incest piece without knowing, and if you find out... how do you feel? art is subjective but you made personal art and the interpretation directly contradicts your point. how do you interact going forward? of course, this can happen anyways for many topics, with varying levels of general ok-ness). There's Dead Dove and sometimes theres just improperly tagged squick/triggers flooding a tag because it's almost considered the 'norm' (I see so much untagged incest in the Batfam tag and I've raged on that in the past). AO3 is getting better, but filtering out things you don't wanna see can still be tricky (I have never found a way to fully filter out highschool aus - its not a squick, I just find them boring XD but things can get tagged so differently! I have the same struggle with ABO, it seems to sneak by all the time).

(I don't use many other sites so I'm not sure how tagging systems work on like... pintrist or tiktok. Is DeviantArt still a thing? And YouTube tagging is useless, you search something and the third video down and on are all like completely irrelevant)

Hence why it's a complicated thing for me. Cuz I can see points from both sides and I don't want my general disgust with certain issues to lead me to make a rash or uniformed decision.

(this is a problem I have in everyday life, sometimes, where I become indecisive because I keep trying to see other points of view, and end up losing MY pov... I spent so much of my childhood be a little brat, I may of overcorrected)

[lunarmaden]

heya ✌️ i'm tav / fable, i'm 23 years old, my timezone is est, i've been in the rpc for ~10 years, and you could pour soup in my lap and i'd probably apologize to you. if the way these are worded makes me sound a little harsh, it isn't meant to come off that way!! i've just been in the rpc for too long to be vague or lenient. that said, a few rapid-fire rules before we get into the lengthier ones that actually need explaining:

— don't follow me if you're any sort of phobic towards any group of people. — mun =/= muse, i don't condone everything my muses do, you get the drill. — vagueposting / guiltposting is an instant block from me. it's not cute. we're all adults here, let's communicate and act like it. — don't rush me for replies, period. rushing me for a thread at all will result in me flat out dropping it.

[ 1 ] for blogs that i can’t see myself interacting with, i will soft block you to keep my followers clean. personal blogs will be hard blocked immediately unless a sideblog is attached to it and i can easily see that your personal blog is a hub. note that it will take me a little while sometimes to decide if i want to follow back. give me a few days at a minimum. do not unfollow and follow again and again to get my attention. i will just hard block you and call it a day.

[ 2 ] i'm neutral on callouts. if i see them and think the proof provided in it is actually valid, then i'll reblog it under my psa tag and leave it at that, no further discussion. it will not go under "drama tw" or anything of the sort, because if it's serious enough, it isn't petty drama. it's a genuine warning passed to other members of the community so they can make their own opinions about. that said, i also believe people can change. if there is proof of that, then i see no reason to hold past mistakes over someone's head.

[ 3 ] i will only write with 18+ muns. if you follow me and are a minor or your age is not listed clearly on your blog, i will soft block you immediately. do not lie to me about your age, you will be hard blocked if i find out.

on a similar but less serious note, i also don't follow if i can't immediately see an alias. just...kinda wanna know who i'm following, is all.

[ 4 ] i get that plotting is kinda important for some people!! however, rarely will i ever fully plot a thread, and i heavily prefer using memes to interact. now, plotting for the general vibe of the thread and dynamic between characters? absolutely!! but frankly, if i relied on completely plotting threads, i'd kill my creativity and get even less done than i already do. i'm here for a fun time, not a stressful and / or long time, so please be aware.

[ 5 ] speaking of relying on memes, send me several at a time! you're probably more likely to get a response if you give me variety to work with. if i get a meme i don't think i can work with, i'll probably send several back to you to make up for it. just so things don't feel lopsided or something.

[ 6 ] i am 23 and valynn is an adult ( even though elven ages are... a little weird ), so nsfw content is likely to show up here in some capacity. when it does, it'll be tagged as "nsfw //" ( or "suggestive //" if it's only implied ). however, i'm likely only going to write those topics with people i'm close to.

[ 7 ] anon hate is cringe, so if you send it, it won't get a response from me unless it's to make fun of you. at this point i expect most of us to know not to answer it seriously otherwise the sender is just being encouraged, so if i keep seeing it being answered / talked about on the dash ( unless it's being poked fun at ), i'm probably just going to soft block for my sake because. y'know, you didn't wanna get the negativity, i don't wanna see that negativity, etcetera.

on that note, untagged negativity will also lead to me unfollowing. untagged posts in general will lead to me unfollowing if it's a frequent thing, honestly.

[ 8 ] with how difficult tumblr has made it as of late to properly source things, i have become significantly more lenient when it comes to people reblogging memes and musings from me, as long as it isn't like several posts in a row. that said, i expect this understanding to be mutual. i'll always try to reblog from the source if i can, but if not, it'll just have to come from whoever slapped it on the dash.

[ 9 ] if you need something tagged, tell me! i’ll do my best to remember to tag what i need to, but please remind me if i happen to forget. the system i use is just "trigger //". now, if you use fancy tags for nsfw posts or posts that otherwise need a trigger warning and refuse to adjust if confronted about it, that's getting a hard block. it isn't difficult to be respectful of what people need tagged. the refusal to do so for your aesthetic is kinda fucked.

as for what i need tagged, all i ask is that visuals of sunflowers are tagged appropriately. i would also appreciate detailed mentions of terminal illness being tagged, specifically cancer, but that's more of a squick than a trigger, so that one is less of a problem.

[ 10 ] obligatory "let's just have fun" rule here. we're all on this hellsite to write our silly little guys, it really isn't that serious. just be decent, and we'll be chill!!

[pyro-sea]

So, I wanted to write a bit of a meetcute, flowershop AU for JetSpike and to my credit, it DOES have a skeleton draft and I AM halfway through the first chapter. But it’s been so slowgoing. Until I changed music and now it’s bangin’.

So uh, moral of the story is, when in doubt, put on a different song.

[cupidlakes]

being in this fandom can get so draining atp i have to block/blacklist or end up unfollowing half the ppl on this website, scroll past twitter in a frenzy dodging and weaving cancellation threads and truthing/blatant weirdness on main, completely ignore the existence of other sites for my sanity like. whats in the water

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I would like to revisit my alternate S5 ending...

...to address the villainous aspect of Lena’s character instead of ignoring it, in which case the big reveal leading to the final stretch of episodes being the superfriends finding a hidden server at the DEO that seems devoted to tracking and monitoring a secret convoy.

When they track it down, they crack open a freight truck to find it modified into a prison inside. A prison with a single prisoner. 

Locked in a straightjacket and blinded by a dark hood, they can’t fathom who it might be. But when Supergirl wrenches the cell door off its hinges the bare feet that recoil in fear are delicate and pale.

A woman?

Kara reaches out with wary care, and gently removes the hood.

It takes her an eternal moment before she pieces the dark hair and pale skin and green eyes into the complete picture of Lena Luthor. 

Except this Lena isn’t the one who glared at her from across her desk in the LuthorCorp headquarters not so long ago. This Lena has sallow skin and dark bruises under her eyes and limp hair and flinches away from Kara without looking at her... but it is Lena.

Kara reaches for Lena’s cheek, but flinches away when Lena kicks out, still without lifting her eyes. “Don’t touch me.”

The clink of a chain follows as Lena scoots away-- a repurposed leash that tethers her to the wall of the truck, barely a foot of give. This Lena is small and skittish of the bodies milling in the truck around them, pressing closer with dangerous intent, but it’s still...

“Lena?”

Bruised green eyes snap to Kara, locking on her face for a long shuddering moment before they drift to the symbol on her chest. 

“K-Kara...”

Bruised green eyes fill with tears, and even though it doesn’t make sense, none of it makes sense, because this isn’t the woman who cried in anguish in the Fortress of Solitude, this isn’t the person who turned her back on Kara’s hologram, but it is the Lena who leans towards Kara for comfort as reality kicks in, and the tears spill over. 

It is the Lena who Kara wraps her arms around, and holds her close.

---

In a Tower interrogation room, they learn Lena knows less than they do. 

“I don’t know,” Lena tells them from across the table. “I woke up, in the-- in a lab, and my brother was there. He told me--”

Her eyes flicker to Kara, then away.

“He told me some awful things.”

She’d spent most of the time since exactly where they’d found her. Lex didn’t seem to want anything, except to keep her contained. Contained, and alone. But when they move the conversation to the medbay, where Alex examines her, she locks up, and can barely seem to breathe for all the equipment around her.

When Alex comes in with a syringe, Lena recoils. “No. No, no, no...”

“Whoa, hey,” Kara soothes, “it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s just a booster,” Alex says. “Cocktail shot of some vitamins and electrolytes.”

“See?” Kara holds Lena’s hand. “Nothing to be afraid of.”

Lena’s eyes lock on Kara’s, but she doesn’t pull away when Alex moves back in for a second attempt. Kara brushes the hair from Lena’s forehead, hoping the touch will keep Lena focused on her rather than the needle. It works. 

But when Lena starts to relax when the needle withdraws, it’s not in relief. Lena’s eyes grow wild with panic, even as they start to drift shut. “You said...”

Kara looks to Alex, and finds her sister’s features solemn and unyielding. Sudden anger flares at Alex’s lie, that Alex lied to her, but focuses instead comforting Lena. 

“It’s okay,” she promises. “You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

---

“We don’t know who she is,” Alex defends herself later.

“She’s Lena, Alex.”

“So is the person who kidnapped J’onn’s brother and stole Myriad,” comes the counter. “Maybe she really doesn’t know anything, or maybe she does. Until we know exactly what is going on, she cannot be trusted.”

And so when Kara next visits Lena, it’s from the far side of the isolation cell glass. Lena sits curled in a ball, head on her knees, shoulders slumped in defeat. 

“They don’t believe me.”

It’s not a question. There’s no doubt in Lena now. No more fear. She’s back in a situation she’s familiar with-- being contained, being controlled. There’s a bitter sense of comfort in it.

“Lex told me they wouldn’t,” Lena continues. “He was right. About them. About you.”

Just as with the Lena who sits at her desk in Luthorcorp headquarters, Kara can barely face the hurt in this Lena’s gaze. She almost looks away, but stops herself. This time, she holds Lena’s gaze, and faces the anguish she’d been unable to face the last time.

But this time, Lena isn’t looking for comfort. 

“Go away.”

It’s not the second chance Kara hoped for. That second chance remains out of her reach as Lena turns away and doesn’t speak for days after. The only further information they get out of her is that her last memory before waking up in Lex’s lab is of her pulling the trigger on her brother. Of killing him.

“She doesn’t deserve to be here,” Kara argues to Alex. “I know you don’t trust her, but I do. I’m not saying we should just let her out on her own--” they have no idea why or how there are two Lena’s, but risking the two meeting would be a bad, bad idea. “What I’m saying is that she come stay with me. I’ll keep an eye on her, and maybe she’ll be able to trust us enough to give us more information.”

And so Lena soon finds herself standing awkwardly in the middle of Kara’s apartment. She looks around like she’s never been there before. Maybe she hasn’t. Or maybe she has, and she’s absorbing the minutiae of differences since her last visit. 

Kara suspects the latter, when she sees Lena’s gaze linger on a photo of the most recent game night that scrolls across her sleeping laptop. It’s one she loves because it includes Winn. That it’s one without James and Lena both leaves her feeling empty. 

But when another photo from that night scrolls across, a close up of Will, Kara, and Nia, Lena’s jaw tightens. When Lena averts her gaze, Kara catches a glimpse of anger, and an old guilt rears its ugly head in Kara’s chest. She should have been quicker to invite Lena into her life. Into their game nights, into her secret, into everything. Will’s quick acceptance of and by the group proves that the only thing that kept Lena at arm’s length was Kara’s own inhibitions. 

Her own fear. 

“Lena, I--”

“I assume I’m taking the couch,” Lena grumbles, forestalling any overture. “Or is this where the chains and dog cage come out?”

Kara swallows thickly, unable to completely deny Lena’s concerns as outlandish, as she’d had to talk Alex out of physical restraints for her guest. 

“No,” Kara replies. “No chains. No cages.” She shrugs. “I trust you.”

A scoff is all the response she gets to that.

---

Lena picks at her dinner, and barely eats a morsel before ultimately putting her plate aside. When Kara clears up, she listens to Lena’s breath and heart rate, finding some semblance of relief when Lena finds a comfortable position on the couch and finally, finally relaxes. 

She takes her time, allowing Lena extra minutes to herself. When Kara finally returns, she does so with a mug of tea in each hand. Lena simply stares at hers when Kara sets it down in front of her. Kara tries not to notice the way Lena’s eyes follow her as she curls up in the chair opposite the couch. She stirs her tea with a pensiveness that’s not entirely genuine.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

The question comes as quiet as a sigh. 

“All I ever wanted was to be trusted, and you let me believe that I was--”

Lena’s voice cracks, making tears spring to Kara’s eyes. 

“Lex really was right. Nothing I did was ever going to be enough for you.”

“That is not true.” Kara sits forward. “It was never about that. Never.”

A shrug lifts Lena’s sweatered shoulder. She still has yet to meet Kara’s eye. “No, it wasn’t.”

Because if it had been, Lena would have been told a thousand times over. Like she should have been. 

“I was afraid, Lena.” Kara curls her hands around her mug. “I know that must seem so foolish to you, and it does to me too, now. But before I told you? The thought of losing you--”

“What have I ever done to make you think I would hate you?”

“Because… you do?”

“I hate that you weren’t the one who told me. I hate that the words came from my brother, as he lay dying in front of me after I shot him in the chest. That’s what I hate. Not you.”

Kara’s throat locks around a sob, her eyes filling with tears. “Lena…”

“I hate that of all the things my brother is, everything he’s done… I hate that he’s more honest than you are.”

In a single blink, the floodgates open. Tears spill down Kara’s cheeks and don’t stop. On silent feet, Kara moves to kneel at Lena’s side. Reaching for Lena’s hand is a risk, but one that rewards Kara with warm fingers in hers. 

“I’m sorry, Lena.” Her voice scrapes and scratches-- there’s no defense in her, no way to hide the raw emotion spilling from her. “I am so sorry. I should have told you. I should have trusted you. Not just with my secret. I should have trusted that you-- that our friendship-- was stronger than that.”

Lena takes a shuddering breath, one that seizes in a sob. When Lena leans towards her, Kara wraps both arms around her. Thin arms hug her back, and bony shoulders wrack with silent sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Lena.”

And just like that-- they start to heal.

---

Their peace doesn’t last long. J’onn can only pretend to be Supergirl for so long before the real thing is needed. Lena’s trust in being trusted is put to the test: she spends Kara’s time away curled on the sofa, eyes on the door, just waiting for Alex’s team to burst in and take her back to the isolation cell. When the only person to enter is Kara six hours later with four pizzas, garlic breadsticks, and a two liter of MelloYello in hand, Lena almost starts crying all over again.

When their paths end up crossing, Kara finds interacting with the other Lena difficult-- she spends the limited exchange searching Lena’s face for any hint that she knows a version of her exists besides herself; that a version of her is sitting in Kara’s apartment, wearing an oversized hoodie and baggy blue jeans.

Kara can’t find any. 

Kara knows that doesn’t mean anything.

She goes home that night and asks her version of Lena for a hug. Her version of Lena gives it-- slowly, but without hesitation.

One night, Kara returns home to a ransacked apartment devoid of any Lena. There’s no question who is behind it the blood Kara finds on her hardwood floors. Only one man knows this Lena exists. Only one man knows where Supergirl might keep a traumatized best friend.

And there’s only one person who can go up against Lex Luthor and have a hope of coming out on top.

So Kara goes to the Lena Luthor whose eyebrow lifts in derision at the sight of her, and tells her everything. She explains the second version of Lena they’d found and lost again, tells her how Lex is behind it all, shares how they still haven’t any idea why.

And that Lena stares at her as though she wants to accuse her of more lies, more subterfuge, but when her lips part, what falls out is “then let’s find out.”

They track Lex to one of his many bunkers that still exist in this reality, and there they find him with the second Lena (or maybe the first, Kara’s still not sure). The Lena’s stare at each other, one with more surprise than the other. Kara supposes it’s hard to be surprised when one is cuffed hand and foot, with a collar around your neck. 

Lex, for his part, only smiles. “Hey, sis.”

The chain connecting to the collar around Lena’s neck retracts into the ceiling, pulling her to the very tips of her toes and leaving her choking for breath. Kara shoots forward, but the area around the dangling Lena glows green with Kryptonite, effectively grinding her to a halt before she staggers back to be caught by the other Lena.

“Why?” that Lena asks her brother. “What good could having two of me possibly be to you when you don’t let one out of your sight?”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Lex returns. “I didn’t double you, god no. Why would I double my work trying to control you? No, I reduced you. By half.”

Shock ripples through them both. The sight of it makes Lex chuckle. 

“You always had such potential, ace. But your judgement was always clouded by empathy-- you were always soft. But brilliant. Brilliant enough to figure me out. Splitting all of that between two of you, well… it made you far more pliable.”

“But…” Kara gasps. “How?”

Lex lifts a brow in an expression eerily like Lena’s. “You of all people should have figured it out by now, Supergirl.”

Just like that, the pieces click into place. 

“The harun’el.”

The same mineral that once split Kara herself. The same mineral Lena spent months working with. Rao. 

Lea leans towards her. “He means…?”

“Red Daughter,” Kara confirms.

She can still see her. Sometimes Kara dreams of her, still feels the weight of her body evaporating from her arms as she holds her dying counterpart. 

Kara looks at Lena, sees her eyes dark with thought as they travel from Kara to her dangling twin, then to Lex. Lex receives her silent gaze with an almost proud grin.

“But I gotta say, sis, even I never imagined you’d go as far as Non Nocere.”

Kara staggers to take her own weight, freeing Lena to approach her brother. Whatever Kara expected Lena to say or do in confronting Lex, it wasn’t the sight of long fingers snatching a scalpel from a table as she passed, or for the movement to be so blatant that Lex would see it coming.

“Oh, come now, Lena,” Lex chides. “At least you were smart enough to bring a gun last time.”

Lena lifts the blade towards him, but her features twist into a smirk. “What makes you think this is for you?”

Before anyone has time to react, Lena lifts the blade and plunges it deep into her own throat.

“NO!” Lex and Kara cry in unison. 

Kara moves faster, catching Lena as she falls. She cradles her friend in her arms, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Lena… why?”

“I refuse…” Lena gasps, “to be less...”

“What if--?”

“I’m not the copy?” Lena gurgles slightly through the blood filling her throat. It bubbles to her lips, staining them an unnatural red. “I’m the one he kept around. Just like…”

She coughs, unable to finish. Kara does it for her. 

“Just like Red Daughter.”

Lena features droop, gray with increasing blood loss. “Don’t… let him… win…”

With her last crackling breath, Lena’s form melts away just like Red Daughter’s, misting into a purple ether that lifts from Kara’s arms and chases towards where Lena still hangs on the tips of her toes. The violet energy sinks into her, illuminating her entire frame for a split second before it pulses out of her in a violent burst that disintegrates her bonds and drops her to her knees, choking for breath. 

Kara intercepts Lex when he makes a run for it-- she grabs him by the collar and tosses him back towards his sister, who still glows with unearthly light. He struggles to his knees as Lena climbs to her feet, eyes glowing with power. 

“Okay, Lena, listen to me-- I just wanted the best for you. For us to be working together, just like we used to--!”

Lena roars. She roars so loud that Kara covers her ears under the onslaught, and peers through slitted eyes as the power of the harun’el funnels into Lena’s hands, mouth and hands, firing a single combined blast towards her cowering brother. It consumes him entirely.

When the light under Lena’s skin finally wanes, there is nothing left of Lex-- not even a scorch mark. In the silence that follows, Lena sags to her knees once more, exhausted.

Green eyes meet Kara’s, heavy and full of emotion Kara can’t quite decipher.

“I’m sorry,” Lena murmurs. “For everything.”

Kara staggers towards her, and collapses to her knees beside Lena. She wraps Lena in a fierce hug, tears still damp on her cheeks. 

Lena’s alive. This time, Lena is whole. 

Kara would have asked for nothing else in the world.

---

It doesn’t take long for normalcy to return after that. Lena steps up as the CEO she’s meant to be, and it’s less than a month before she announces her intent to rebrand LuthorCorp as L-Corp. Supergirl resumes her full duties, and this time does so with a true ally in Lena. 

Still, there’s a hesitation in her chest when she arrives at Lena’s office one afternoon as Kara Danvers. She has Big Belly Burger in one hand, and kombucha in the other, the only peace offerings she can think to bring besides her heart, ready to be given if asked. 

She steps into the room with said heart in her throat, and almost swallows her tongue when Lena’s gaze snaps up to her and freezes for a split second before softening in recognition. The smile that follows is as gentle as the first rays of sunlight on an early sunday morning, and warms Kara just as completely. 

“Hey you,” Lena greets quietly. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

It takes a long moment for Kara to realize she means Kara Danvers-- it’s been too long since Kara has been anything but Supergirl in front of Lena, even when she wasn’t wearing the cape.

“Yeah,” Kara agrees. “Sorry about that.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, until Kara lifts the heavy bag in her right hand. “Big Belly?”

Lena’s features warm.

“I knew there was a reason you’re my favorite.”

[clotpolesonly]

I feel you re: fandom exhaustion. Have you tried unfollowing/blocking people with takes you don’t like? I’ve found that fandom a much more relaxing place once I started not letting the stressful stuff cross my dash in the first place. Sometimes it meant unfollowing someone who posted a bunch of other stuff I actually liked, but if it meant not going into a comment-reading spiral every time they shared stuff I disagreed with, I thought it was totally worth it.

(even if they were only sharing something so they could rebut or disagree with it; like yeah I like that they’re on my side but if they’re going to keep dragging untagged takes I dislike or discourse onto my dash, I would still give them the block/unfollow because intentionally or not they were still causing me stress)

oh i've unfollowed LOTS of people. i've unfollowed enough people that i'm starting to run out of the content i want on my dash, cuz it's hard to find the good stuff without the bad and even blogs that i thought were innocuous occasionally end up slipping shit onto my dash. i've only actually blocked a handful of people (the ones that are Like That™ enough not to leave well enough alone), and i've also blacklisted those names so posts that have additions from them or even reference to them are no longer shown on my dash (though i do see "hidden for X", which often lets me know the person who reblogged it follows them, which is a red flag all on its own a lot of the time🙃)

and discord is its own mess. i get 95% of my social interaction from my discord fandom servers, and i love them to death, honestly i do, i've lived in those for YEARS and been happy to do so. but, again.......it all felt a lot less stressful in years past. it's the hazard of large servers that you're guaranteed to have conflicting opinions in there, and in most regards that's one of the things that i absolutely love about it. discussing things from various angles, getting different viewpoints, having actual conversations about the show(s) that i love are what make fandom worth it. but conflicting over the same things over and over again, seeing the same cold takes that i would usually just unfollow someone for on tumblr and not really being able to do anything about it or escape it (can't blacklist words/terms on discord like on tumblr, you just have to wholesale block individuals, which i can't really do because i moderate several servers and mods can't just ignore things 😅 in their servers), is turning out to be very grating nowadays in ways that it didn't used to be, even if it's only a fraction of the actual activity. even just the passive aggressive mention of some of these topics is enough to make me feel like shit for the rest of the day.

same with fic. i've hardly read any fanfiction at all in MONTHS, not because i don't love the characters anymore, but because there's no way to tell what take the author is gonna have or what fanon characterization they're gonna lean into, and getting halfway through a fic before being hit with That Stuff™ kinda makes me wanna cry by now. the subtle stuff never gets tagged for, but it sure as fuck can still ruin my week. it's safer to just not bother. and that SUCKS.

my anxiety has been SKY HIGH lately, and i can't tell if it's because i'm already super anxious for outside reasons and that's making the fandom stuff worse, or if the fandom reasons are making me super anxious on their own and making the outside stuff worse. it all feeds into each other and everything is just bad.

and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it besides, like. leaving. which i'm not gonna do. because i do love the show and i do love interacting with other fans of it and sharing ideas and jokes and spitballing story ideas. without all of that, what would i even do with myself??? as previously mentioned, this stuff is 95% of my social circle 😅 and i have nothing else to replace it with. unfortunately, TW still takes up the majority of my brain, and trying to cut that out would just make me isolated and even more miserable.

it just really really sucks that the fandom that used to feel like home.....doesn't anymore.

[prettyboykatsuki]

Ok ik we’ve probably moved on from this lmfao but I wanna call myself out on the perpetuating misogyny in fic thing!!!

I’m working on a single dad fic n the backstory I wanted to write was that the two daughters aren’t even his—that he’s their stepfather n their mom married him n walked out after a few months, and the fic would be about him obviously just. Stepping up to be their father n also the reader falling for him + becoming a maternal figure for them & choosing to join their family.

But then as I was writing I kept catching myself making the mom almost more n more reprehensible (she became neglectful prior to marrying the character and she was sleeping around) and eventually I was like hang on. Why am I demonizing a single mother when I have full control over every element of this story? Why have I chosen to make her this incredibly villainous person when there are other alternatives??? Single moms r already SO demonized in our society and I found myself writing her as doing the shit that people will accuse those moms of doing and I just sorta took a step back n re-worked the plot so I wasn’t perpetuating that kind of misogyny. Now she ends up getting sick & the younger of the daughters is actually Bakugo’s, so he takes both her n her older sister in despite not having known she existed nor been in contact with the mom for years.

Looking back on it I’m not even sure why I did it in the first place KDNDKSND I don’t typically have antagonists in my fics so it’s almost surprising that it happened in the first place. Idk, I just thought I’d share bc I rlly do try to check myself with that shit and I’m glad I caught it. I think the story ultimately benefits from having the mom be a complex, flawed individual rather than a more one-note villain lmfao and that imo is also the case for a lot of the other examples! Having complex characters and antagonists who aren’t necessarily villainous/malevolent is like. More interesting in most cases imo. But

!!!!! i actually really enjoyed this ask. and i think your situation is unique because i don't think it would've inherently looked like misogny to other people reading it so it was quite genuinely a moment of reflection and brings up a really good point about how sometimes people genuinely don't have a grasp on stuff like that and how it can just kinda happen

and again - this isn't me saying there's never any reason to write or explore misogyny but i think sometimes it gets pushed and written as very normal and then it becomes an issue. the most important part generally is being mindful of what you write and leave untagged

this is also a great example of author bias and how things we write are always a reflection of how we exist! very cool

[summerwithaniinit]

Hey you know that there's porn of real life minors on ao3 right. Right

{ID: an ask from an anonymous user that says " "Ao3 is an important archive" cant wait to have my ancestors look at the archive and 15 year olds getting raped by adults and Castiels Leaky Omega Asshole" [sic]. end ID}

I'll organise my response to these in points, from least relevant to most:

irl cp makes me incredibly uncomfortable but i don't know how to get rid of irl cp on ao3 effectively: banning it will only make the authors leave it untagged in different fandoms and i don't wanna read a fic with cp in it.

ao3 also happens to be in a sort of legal stalemate in terms of eliminating the cp from what i've been informed.

overtagging won't solve the issue of cp on ao3 cause the only people who will get affected by it are the volunteer tag wranglers.

on to the more relevant ones- tumblr has irl cp. ff.net has irl cp. wattpad has irl cp. dark web constitutes of atleast 5% of the internet and it contains irl cp. i'm assuming the amount of irl cp on ao3 also constitutes something like 1-5%. ff.net, wattpad, and tumblr have gone through purges because of irl cp. their attempts were notoriously half-assed, and only done to get the heat off of them and their attempts stopped the moment the general public started focusing on something else (with the possible exception of tumblr). if you're going to imply that ao3 shouldn't be used at all then you're probably also in favour of never using the internet for similar reasons. you're probably omniscient and omnipotent to some extent to send this ask to me then.

i usually search for ao3 using either fandom names ("svsss ao3") or by typing "ao3" and going to specific relationships through my account ("Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito") and i've never had to read anything that i'd blocked or simply not searched for in the 6-7 years I've used it. given all of this, it's kinda (・_・;) worthy that you're absolutely 100% sure that your descendants will read nothing but irl cp and spn omegaverse on ao3

[dourpeep]

I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but I just wanted to ask whether you could include dom/sub tags into your descriptions? It’s just kinda disheartening when you go into a scenario presuming that character to be in that role, only to realize that they aren’t… it’s cool if you don’t wanna ofc, it’s your blog after all. Pls have a nice day

Oh! I know I do for fics and longer hc's and drabbles, but if you mean for the shorter stuff as well (as those I sometimes leave untagged), I'll do my best to remember + add that in in the future! :V

Edit: For also future reference, I do tend to write more of dom! characters because it's what's requested as well, unfortunately

[sidsinning]

People who make Luka salt but refuse to tag it as such or sAY that it is are 😐 like calling him ugly and making fun of his design mmmmm not his fault the first episode he was in he was animated by DQ he's looked better since (aNd guess what, witH eyELasheS tOo) 🤷

Yeah they're a special toxic bunch

They will passively aggressively say "I like him, but I just wish they wrote him better 😔" once in awhile so fans can't criticize them but

The rest of their content about him is untagged salt making fun of him or talking shit

"NO It's jUSt a JokE cAlm dOWn jEez 😂"

"TOXic fANs caN'T Take a jOKe 🙄"

Nah man you just a toxic hater 😬

Kinda sad and pathetic how ignorant they are of their own behavior tbh 🤭

Bro I just wanna see content about my blueberry boy not your dumbass leave me alone 😂

[criminally--reid]

library lovers

I h8 the title- n e ways... here's the fix that's been promised to be posted at least twice a week for the past month 😌✋🏽also if u want untagged yk who u are smsbsj lmk,, i just thought id use the anon tag so u could see it snsbsj n e ways let's get on wiv d shit show

warnings: awkward chaotic gay, general smutty stuff y'know, mutual masturbation, i’ve never written mxm fic before so yonkers :| 

word count: 2.6k

Pairing: bi!spencer x (dom-ish)male!reader 

//a.n.\\ somehow the reader ends up in charge and i kinda like it tbh. i'm shit at storylines,  but honestly,, highschool homophobe masturbating with spencer reid? Call that character development 

`°•○●○•°`

You hadn't seen Spencer in years. Remembering the terms the two of you ended on, you weren't surprised either. All throughout highschool, you were the movie-esque tormentors of the frail, nerdy kid. The bully that wasn't actually supposed to exist. The absolute nightmare that had kids like Spencer trembling, dreading to relive the same terror another day. 

Shock couldn't even begin to cover what you felt the day you watched him walk into the library you now owned. You had been working on forgetting him since graduation. Just when you thought the remnants of Spencer had dripped entirely from your memory, everything came flooding in the matter of milliseconds the moment he walked through your door. All the times you watched him eat alone, pick his things up alone after someone had thrown them out of his hands; all the times you could've stepped up and just chose not to. You promised yourself you'd be different. Now was your chance. 

You subtly watch Spencer as he looks through the many isles of books. Beginning at young adult, trailing quickly to non-fiction, and eventually ending up in the classic section. He doesn't spend much time amongst the books - 5 minutes at the most since he walked in - before bringing a stack of 6 books up to the counter; you anxiously waiting to scan him in. 

"Did- did you find all your books alright?" You manage to ask. Spencer merely nods his head, crossing his arms and bringing one of his hands up to his mouth, chewing on his fingernails. His brows furrow and you're worried he's about to say something. 

"I'm a little surprised to see you working here actually." This throws you off. You did not plan for this- this confrontation. 

"I take it you remember me?" 

"I'm not really one to forget things, you know." Fair enough. 

"Well, yes. I actually run the place now. My grandfather had passed it on to me." 

"Oh he's…? I'm so sorry for your loss." 

Spencer's look of sincerity throws you off. After all the years of you being his worst fear, he still had room in his heart to be genuinely kind towards you. 

"It's fine, really. It was so long ago now. And besides- now I have this grand, ancient bookstore." You end with a chuckle and finish scanning the barcodes in each of his books. 

"Thank you- uh actually, could you help me find something else?"

"Of course! What're you looking for?" 

"Everyone keeps recommending me Donna Tart, where could I find some of her work?" 

"Follow me," you gesture and move from behind the counter. 

You walk him over to the very back of the store where all the dark academia-esq books are. While sifting through the books, he asks you a question that catches you completely off guard; his voice nothing above a whisper. 

"And I take it that you don't still hate me-" 

You immediately know what he's talking about. How silly of you to think the past wouldn’t be brought up.  

You clear your throat before speaking up. "I- n-no of course not. I- I uh- I know this is extremely cliche, and I'm not trying to excuse away any of the horrible things I did to you but- I was hiding." 

"From what?" Spencer chimes in quietly. 

"I just didn't know how to feel about myself. Gay this and gay that- it was all so negative. I didn't want to be known for something that was apparently so wrong. I definitely couldn't let the football playing circle jerkers I called my friends know about how I felt towards other guys. An-and I saw how they treated people like you and I didn't want that, so I joined them." 

"So you're gay?" Spencer asks, and you nod slowly. "And you and your 'circle jerking buddies' tortured me because you all thought I was gay?" 

"Well- I- we uh- that's what they said. I knew it wasn't good, but I didn't do anything because of what I was. I know the word 'sorry' will never make up for anything I've ever done or said to you, but I am so so sorry, Spencer." 

"You guys just knew I was gay? -Gaydar that strong, huh?" Spencer ends in a chuckle, easing up your tension, allowing you to slip out a soft laugh, too. 

"Obviously, it wasn't too good. I somehow managed to skate by for four years." 

"That you did." For the first time in years, when you look at Spencer, he doesn't look upset. A content, lazy smile accompanies his happy eyes as he. "Well- actually, I'm not entirely gay so I guess their gaydar needed some tweeking, hm?" 

"Oh, you're-" you attempt, but get cut-off. 

"Bi? Yeah. I realized I was bi when I realized I had a crush on you and your tenth grade girlfriend. What about you?" 

Still skimming the pages of a Donna Tart book, never looking up from it. So nonchalant. Him being so upfront with you was honestly exciting. You never imagined that you'd be remotely friendly with Spencer Reid, let alone him revealing he had a crush on you. "Ah, about junior year, I figured out I kinda had a thing for you." 

"Say, uh," Spencer started, tucking his hair behind his ear and slipping the book back onto the shelf. "I liked you; you liked me. Why don't we hang out sometime or something-" 

You could tell Spencer was trying hard to mask his enthusiasm. You were too. 

"Erm- yeah totally! I get off in about an hour actually; I could call you, and we could grab coffee or something." 

"Sounds great," Spencer says hurriedly as he fishes around in his pocket, drawing out a small slip of paper and drawing the pen from his shirt pocket. He hands you the freshly used paper with his number inscribed on it in smudged black ink. 

The next hour, excitement coursed through you. You're bustling around, fidgeting, unshelving and re-shelving books, sweeping, mopping - anything to keep your mind off of the end of your shift. The busiest yet slowest hour of your life. Your shift ends and your excitement reaches its peak. Your finger hovers over the call button at the bottom of your screen, hesitating. For a split second you get the courage to press call, but then you immediately regret it - that is until his hurried, excited voice slips through the speaker. 

"Hey, y/n! It's Spencer! Uh- you know.. that.. of course. Anyways, uh there's this coffee shop about a block away from my place. I wondered if maybe you'd wanna go and have an early dinner or something." 

You can't help but chuckle at his excitement; trying to calm down your own. "That sounds great, Spencer. What's the place?" 

"Café Negra-" 

"What?!" you cut him off "I go there all the time! How have I never seen you?" 

"What? That's insane. How have we not crossed each other there?" 

"No clue.. Anyways I'll meet you there- uh about 20?" 

"Perfect." Spencer hangs up without any formal goodbyes, but you couldn't care less - you couldn't wait to meet him at the coffee shop. 

The date - which neither of you bothered to assign that title to the event, but you both knew it was, in fact, a date - went impressively well. It's like you two had never been enemies in the first place. Those four years in high school wiped clean of any hard feelings as the two of you drank coffee way too strong for 6p.m., ate double chocolate muffins, and laughed away. 

When it comes time to leave, Spencer stands up first, throwing away his cup and muffin wrapper; you follow quickly and do the same. 

A mutual agreement was somehow made to take it back to Spencer's place. Maybe it was the lack of goodbyes that he seemed prone to. Whatever it was, the evening didn't feel finished. 

Once inside his cozy apartment, he welcomes you to his couch before maneuvering to the tv stand, kneeling down and pulling out three movies. He gestures for you to choose one, and you choose Titanic. Not the greatest choice of the three, but you had a feeling you wouldn't be focused on the movie too much anyways. 

He puts the disc into the player before joining you on the couch. About twenty minutes into the movie, he moves closer to you, resting his shoulder slowly, cautiously as if asking permission. You ease his nerves by welcoming his head on your shoulder and leaning against him in return. The next half an hour is full of stolen glances, light touches, and snuggling. All innocent until Spencer slides his hand up your thigh. You try not to mind it much. Maybe he's just absentminded in all the contact. He doesn't know what he's doing. You try to focus on the movie and not on his hand getting ever so dangerously close until you just can't anymore. Looking down at him, he's already making eye contact with you, driving you wild. Instinctually you connect your lips with his. 

Spencer shuffles over and straddles your lap, never disconnecting your lips. Your hands roam around his shoulders and back before dipping underneath the hem of his shirt and pulling it off. He makes quick work of returning the favor. After a few more chaste kisses, he stands up, pulling you up with him, and pushes his pants to the floor with you following suit. Spencer places his fingers under your chin, bringing your face up to his in an attempt to place another open-mouthed kiss on your bite-swollen lips. However, you muster up a burst of courage and manage to flip the script. Placing your fingers on Spencer’s chest and holding him at arm's length, you keep eye contact while you take a seat on one end of the couch. You motion for him to take his seat at the other end. 

Spencer, still unsure of the current situation, watches you move. He watches as you run your fingertips up and down your thighs. As you wet the palm of your hand with your tongue before running it up and down your shaft. Lightly tracing your fingertips over your reddened head, hissing at the contact. 

“Your turn,” you say barely above a whisper. 

Spencer’s eyes go wide, but he still obliges, wetting his hand and repeating your actions on himself. Hissing and cursing at the contact with his eager cock. He soon gets lost in his own world of pleasure. Moving faster and moaning barely-there profanities. Watching the show, you bring your hand back to yourself. Your eyes shut as you listen to Spencer; his pretty gasps like music to your ears. 

“Y-y/n? I’m- I’m close.” 

“Awh, so soon? You sure you can’t hold on for me just a little longer?” 

Spencer lets out a strangled moan and forces himself to slow his pace. Watching him struggle to contain himself turns you on even more. His desperate whines and pleas for release getting you closer to the edge. “Look at me, bubbas,” you coax. 

Spencer looks up at you, pushing a tuft of hair from his eyes. His other hand still desperately attached to the base of his cock, awaiting further instruction. 

“Listen.. We’re gonna cum together okay?” Spencer only manages a nod in response so you continue. “I want you to move faster again; get closer. But I want you to let me know when you’re about to cum, okay?” 

You’re met with a furious nod for an answer as he works at his waist, bringing himself closer to his climax; you simultaneously doing the same.

“F-fuck fuckfuckfuck! -M gonna cum. Shit! I’m cumming!” Spencer's cries of pleasure send you over the edge and you both spill over together. Your head dips back over the armrest of the couch as you try to catch your breath. You bring your head back up and look at Spencer, only to see him leaning sideways against the back of the couch, still out of breath and coates in a layer of sweat. 

“Why don’t we go get cleaned up, hm?” 

Spencer nods his head in agreement before getting up off the couch and leading you to the bathroom. You definitely aren’t going home tonight.  

[endless-vall]

I will wait for you - Thomas x Isobel fanfic

Summary: Isobel finally musters the courage to express her feelings towards Thomas. Thomas’ reply is beautiful, but heartbreaking.

Author’s note: As I told you, the process of publishing the chapters is going to get a little faster now that I planned ahead the next ones. I hope you’ll like it.

For the previous fics in this series, click here, here and here. 

Tagging: @drakewalker04​ @ao719 @narrytheworld​ @beardedoafdonutwagon​ @drakewalkerfantasy​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @catlady0911​ @mcchoices @chetachisblog @god-save-the-keen @furiouscloddonutpeanut @writtenbycandy @asprankle @cora-nova @lilyofchoices @paisleylovergirl @dandeservestheworld @mfackenthal @quacksonlover @blackcatkita @annekebbphotography @badchoicesposts @ab1901 @senseofduties @doroshi-desu @romancehereicome @teraizer​ Please let me know if you wanna be tagged in future works for Thomas Mendez x MC/Moty/Perma tag! Let me know if you want to be untagged! 

   “Can I talk to you about something?” Isobel blurts out while she and Thomas have lunch together.

She’d been sneaking him off at lunchtime to take a much needed break from his work for a few weeks now, but only now mastered the courage to say something.

“Anything,” He said, taking another bite of his meal.

“I... Well, I’ve been thinking about it a while now, and I realize the timing might be off and maybe I shouldn’t say anything to begin with, but I kinda feel like I have to. I just want to say it out loud.” Isobel gulped, the thoughts racing in her head while she seemed to look anywhere but in Thomas’s eyes.

“Is everything okay?” He put his fork down and reached for her hand worriedly.

Now that she thought about it, maybe her wording could use a little work. She did pharse it quite strange, raising concerns.

“Oh, yeah, nothing like that.” She smiled, easing his mind.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m not dumping this on you out of nowhere, and that I’ve given it thought. But I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same, and I hope it won’t ruin our friendship. You’re really important to me.” As Isobel spoke, it turned easier and easier. The words were flowing out of her mouth with completeness.

“You’re really important to me too.” Thomas answered, his complete and full attention on Isobel now.

She raised her gaze to meet his, her eyes decisive. 

“I... Like you. Like - Like you like you. I... Have feelings for you, Thomas.” Isobel might’ve stumbled over her words but her intention was clear and the message was sent.

“... You-” Thomas didn’t answer for a long time.

Finally, he removed his hand from Isobels and leaned back in his seat.

“Isobel-” He started saying, his tone apologetic and regretful.

“S’okay. You don’t actually have to say it, I completely understand,” Isobel shifted her gaze to her lap, fidgeting with her braclets.

“No, I-” He started again, but stopped in his tracks. Isobel didn’t meet his face for a long minute, before finally looking up and meeting him with a brave, weak smile.

“I mean it, it’s okay Thomas.” It was obvious it was just a forced smile, but she was doing it not to blame him for rejecting her.

“Izzy.... I... I don’t know what to say...” His response really throws her off track. If he was just going to reject her anyway... Why insist on continuing and replying?

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I can’t hide this kind of thing, especially not from you.”

“I just never thought you could see me this way.” Thomas explains, catching her completely off guard.

“Me? What about you?” Isobel cocks an eyebrow.

“Are you serious?” Thomas suddenly bursts into laughter. It’s warm and almost contagious but Isobel just folds her hands over her chest and stares at him.

“What’s so funny?” She frowns.

“Isobel, I had the biggest crush on you in middle school. You really telling me you never knew?” Thomas blinks at her in surprise when he realizes she’s serious.

Isobel shakes her head. 

Truthfully, she never before looked at Thomas that way before, so maybe she wasn’t looking to check if he might’ve felt that way towards her... But had she really... missed it?

“I mean... We were only like... Eleven-twelve, so I can’t blame you for not noticing, and I wasn’t really too obvious about it either.” Thomas shrugs, meeting her eyes.

“Was it like... A silly crush?” She asks, suddenly feeling at ease even though she’d just been rejected.

Thomas chuckles, his cheeks reddening momentarily. “Nope...” He shakes his head. “It was the real deal. I mean, as real as it gets for evelen-to-forteen year olds.”

Isobel joins his chuckling this time.

“I can’t believe I never knew about it.” She tries to think back to all the time they spent together in middle school.

She wouldn’t say anything really romantic came to mind, but they sure spent a lot of time together.

They even cuddled and played with each other’s hair on more than one occasion.

Now that she thinks about it, she can understand how some situations might’ve been Interpreted differently.

“I... Was going to tell you, actually. I was going to confess. But then the news about your father’s promotion came up, and we only had a few more months together. I thought about telling you back then every single day, but I ultimately decided I wanted to spend our last days together just the way it always was, instead of bringing that up. I figured that if you had felt the same, it would’ve come up one way or another.” 

Thomas explained.

“You make it sound very noble, but you just chickened out.” She teases, and Thomas fakes it hurting him, placing a hand over his heart and making a hissing sound.

“When you put it like that you might have a point.” He admits, nodding. “You always did call me out... Soledad used to do that too-” He catches himself before he can finish the sentence.

Isobel looked at him sympathically, before letting out a breathe she didn’t know she was holding.

“It’s okay. I understand.” She says with some sort of finality.

“Look, Isobel... I’ll be lying if I said I don’t have feelings for you too.” The next words that come out of Thomas’ mouth hit her like an arrow to the chest. It almost looks as if he regrets saying it out loud, and somehow it makes it even more painful.

“Wait, you do?” She blinks at him.

“I... Always...” He starts replying but then shakes his head. “I can’t do it, I’m sorry-” He starts fidgiting with his wallet, as if he’s about to leave but Isobel catches his sleeve, making him stop in his tracks.

“Tom...” Her voice is soft and warm and so inviting... But Thomas can’t - he just can’t...

He can’t even look at her right now. He doesn’t turn around, and he shuts his eyes, before finally talking.

“I do feel something here between us too. But I can’t... I haven’t moved on yet. I still hope to see Solded when I open my eyes in the morning next to me, and sometimes I still think she’d turn up when I come home late from work, and she’d be sleeping on the couch with an impromptu blanket because I yet again was late to our series marathon.” He sighs heavily.

It’s not like he’s enjoying it, either.

“I know that won’t happen. I know she’s really gone. But as long as I have that hope... I can’t start a new relationship. And I can’t ask you to wait for me, I can’t do that to you... Not you, of all people.” 

Thomas wasn’t the kind of guy to ask any girl to wait for him. But Isobel was special.

“Tom... I know you’re not asking...” She lets her grip on his sleeve slip, and looks down at her feet. “But I will wait... Not forever... But right now... I will.” 

He finally turns around, in one swift, quick motion and stares at her, his mouth agape.

“Isobel, I can’t ask-” 

“It’s not for you to decide, is it? I already offered. It’s done. No take-backs. But you do have to tell me if you don’t feel the same. Or if you stop feeling it along the way. Deal?”

“I don’t know for how long --” He starts mumbling, his mouth hanging open.

“Thomas, I’m serious. If you feel the same way... I don’t mind waiting.

But if you’re not feeling the same way... You have to tell me now.” She states.

“I...” He gulps.

“I do. I have feelings for you too, Isobel. Feelings I can’t bring myself to act upon right now, but I know for a fact they’re not going away any time soon.” He lets it out like it’s bothering him, but the second it’s out in the open he visibly relaxes and looks more content.

Isobel reaches forward and takes his hand once again in her. He doesn’t move away from the touch.

“Well then... It’s settled.” Isobel smiles at him, even though there’s some pain in her eyes. Thomas knows he’s hurting her, and she’s the last person he want to hurt, but...

He smiles back. He loves her... Even if he can’t tell her right now. Even if he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to tell her, if at all...

But he loves her, he loves Isobel, and that scares the shit out of him.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [hit her with the shameless party host girl's DMs after literally no time since she was humiliated] Jimmy: It's looking like we need a new scale just for her Janis: seriously Janis: where's the rock she was meant to crawl under and die Janis: 🧠 her with it Jimmy: we probably smashed or hid it when we trashed the place Jimmy: what else do you wanna do about this? Janis: parents are right amateurs Janis: can't even take her 📴 away Janis: what do we do Janis: the DMs are peaking atm, really annoying when I'm trying to sort customers from timewasters Jimmy: I could post hers, but she'd probably take pride in the promo Jimmy: fake 👰💍🤵? Janis: yeah Janis: when your last lad would untag himself from anything you tagged him in and not take a photo with you Janis: that kinda shit is EVERYTHING to them Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: where'd I get a fake 👗 Jimmy: you said you didn't know her, been busy, have you? 😏 Janis: erm shut up, you know they're all the same and it was a generalization Janis: a fair one, but still Jimmy: 👌 babe Janis: [dogwalking photo like there, still busy, thank you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 🐶🌭💦 #kinkunlocked??? Jimmy: [a picture of Twix with his hands over her ears like shh] Janis: Oh no Janis: do I ring childline or RSPCA? 😏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: how lonely you've been without me Jimmy: one would be a well longer chat than the other Janis: not been 🐶 levels of pining for you Janis: but my ability to fake it if necessary hasn't gone away Jimmy: write me a better DM than hers and I'll put 'em side by side Janis: not hard Janis: even if you aren't as inspiring as me 😘 Jimmy: soz I meant to say write me a 🥇 one Janis: not been long enough you can act like you forgot who I am Jimmy: if Bill can't get me wearing tights and prancing about on stage for a fake ⚔ or 💔 then there's no chance of you managing it, mate Jimmy: so there's no act Jimmy: just don't know who you are Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, but the point is there is an act and it's clearly still needed Jimmy: 🖋 your 💌 when you're not too busy or owt Janis: [🔥 tweet that would get everyone talking about them as a them again] Janis: like I said, piece of piss Jimmy: [cue a 🔥 exchange cos obvs he's gotta pull his weight and prove how easy it is for him too it's not like he missed her or anything NOPE] Janis: always a pleasure doing business with you Jimmy: pleasure would be all mine if we were done but Janis: that would mean life was fair, wouldn't it Jimmy: that would mean any dickhead could crack on to any other with an @ and it'd make 'em #fated Janis: the point is to put out the opposite and keep the @s from other dickheads to a minimum, I'm aware Janis: so what's step 2 this time Jimmy: you're gonna have to 🙄 at me in person Jimmy: how massive of an audience do you want? Janis: MASSIVE Janis: not only do I get to shout that at you Janis: 🔫 as many inbox lurkers as possible in one 🎯 Jimmy: had my 🤞 you'd say that Jimmy: Alright, that's work ❌ unless you've got nowt but 👴👵 or 🤰👶 in your inbox Janis: sadly, my inbox is about as diverse as 💙 Janis: some 👴 but mostly their sons and grandsons, like Jimmy: leaving me their daughters Janis: you're welcome Janis: only a few who took Mia's casual homophobia to 💘 which is a bit 😬 but you know Jimmy: hang on, there are people who take owt she 🗨s to 💘??!! Janis: ask the other gals Janis: between the 😭 Jimmy: come on, they'd need a 💘 Jimmy: instead of just being 🧫 with hair Janis: 😏 Janis: alright, decent description Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: never been much of a 🖋💕 Jimmy: reckon you might have the wrong 👻 Janis: or Bill has possessed you Janis: without permission is a bit #metoo of him but Janis: different times, you know Jimmy: without buying me a drink, he would an' all Jimmy: that's what I get for having an earring Janis: did he start that or what Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: 💰 on him taking the credit Janis: invite him to a dinner party, or whatever that game is Jimmy: fuck's sake, we don't have to have a dinner party to show everyone we're still #goals do we? Janis: I sincerely hope not Janis: they'd be the FUSSIEST guests Jimmy: nah chuck them cotton wool balls in a bowl instead of crisps or 🔑🔑🔑 Janis: grim Janis: fake 👰💍🤵 is one thing Janis: playing 🏡 is just silly Jimmy: What are we gonna do then? Jimmy: I dunno where the fuck a MASSIVE crowd of our dickhead fans are Janis: lemme 🔭 Jimmy: Tah, if I point mine towards the park I'll probably get arrested Janis: not redeeming that rep for you Janis: have limits Jimmy: I get it 👀 out your window only works if you've seen a murder and you're the one with the dodgy ankle, not me Janis: just saying, you'll want people to think you're in it for the 🐶s Janis: it's gonna be another bullshit party Janis: all there ever is Jimmy: Alright Janis: just working out which will be the biggest Jimmy: been in your DMs too long, girl Janis: ha ha Janis: though sending them back size comparisons is a solid idea Jimmy: it ain't been long enough for you to forget how many 🥇💡 I have Jimmy: pick the one that'll be the most bearable, word and 📷 will get round Janis: I think she'll be at this [slightly smaller basic party] one but there will be more people at [larger basic party] this one Janis: true though Janis: but they'll all be shit Jimmy: are you gonna smack her? Janis: jealousy isn't very goals Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: yeah but even if I'd LOVE to, not gonna have it looking like that's why Janis: so unlikely Jimmy: if you'd love to but you reckon you can't, we won't go wherever she is Janis: s'different for lads Janis: you're a pussy if you don't, I'd be a psycho if I did Janis: we can hit multiple potentially, max coverage, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on building an assault course she can fall off Janis: cheers Janis: [party] is near-ish the CG, go there first makes sense Jimmy: loads of ways to 💀💀💀 ourselves and then just haunt it Janis: caffeine OD, you mean or? Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't possessed me an' all Janis: then fill me in on the poisons you keep next to the caramel syrup, like Jimmy: if I wanted to make your heart beat faster there's no need to make you a latte Jimmy: and for stopping it, there's no need to use ☠ that's Bill's ™ Janis: definitely 🤓 flirting Jimmy: send it to her, she must be 💔🎻😭 by now Janis: is bound to be missing me as well Jimmy: 🤞 she tweets her 💕 for you so I can give it a retweet Janis: lazy back in style then Jimmy: is it? Janis: I'm asking you Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: got my own 😎🚬 Janis: 👌 got your 15mins Janis: made up for you Jimmy: if I did I wouldn't be 🗨 to you Janis: 💔🎻😭 I'm sure Jimmy: save it for our fake breakup, Jillian Janis: naturally I'll be living my best life Janis: anything more tragic? think not Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you've been possessed by my ex, not fuming she's dead but not chuffed by the idea of going to a party with her, so wrestle back control Janis: shit at accents Janis: not gonna try to #trigger you Jimmy: she weren't much of a talker, you're alright Janis: don't need the details, you're alright too Jimmy: I'll put my picture I was painting you in the bin then Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: Oi, I definitely already put the bank statements in Janis: this is the part where I make you buy me shit I don't need then Janis: alright Jimmy: I'll give you a bit to crack on 💭🤔 Janis: if the list ain't double-sided, I've fucked up Jimmy: 🐴🍾👠💍👜💄👗💎🏎🏠🏖 Jimmy: ✈🦷🐅💐👶🦪🚢🖼⌚️ Janis: 👏 Janis: I'll flog most of it Janis: great rate on 👶 Jimmy: and the 🐅 Janis: I wanna keep the 🐅 Jimmy: 🤞 it eats the 🐴 before you get weirdly attached Jimmy: jealousy ain't goals you said, and I would be Janis: feed you sugar cubes if you really want Jimmy: then I'd have to buy myself new 🦷 an' all Janis: they work last I checked Jimmy: til you rot 'em out my head, we'll be proper #goals us Janis: one way to put people off Janis: long term Janis: have to keep doing this 'til the damage really sets in Jimmy: if only you were sweeter 💔 Janis: unlucky Janis: surprised you ain't moved yet Jimmy: nah, you taste nice really Jimmy: unlike that bitter 💊 Janis: obvs 👍 Janis: weird they're not dying to get rid of yous Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: crack on with fucking your co-workers tah very much Jimmy: need a new mum and address obvs Janis: #whenorientationdrags Jimmy: #whenyouvelostyourtouchbecauseyouaintallowedtoslaplassesonthearseatthephotocopierthesedays Janis: #romanceisDEAD Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be why he keeps getting ghosted Janis: won't get my ma involved then, even though step-sister is ultimate goals in ALL lad's books Janis: she's the 👑 of that Jimmy: if they look like you, yeah Jimmy: not like some of the ones he'd have stuck me with if he could keep a missus around Janis: can't even fuck then, what is the point Jimmy: can chuck 👶 and 🐕 at them Jimmy: they might even live Janis: don't even have to pay 'em Janis: skint equivalent of the nanny, clearly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: now I'm just gutted about my lack of a new dad, thanks a lot Jimmy: take mine Janis: he'll take me out for 🍦 WITHOUT piping my mum?! Janis: yay Jimmy: I dunno what your mum looks like but I've seen you, it's a safe 💰 on yeah Jimmy: say you've been on holiday and it's a tan that'll fade, you'll be alright Janis: make her go along with the babysitter line Janis: always a good one Jimmy: nowt could go wrong Janis: you're being the snobby LiLo twin no swapsies Jimmy: only 'cause you can't do accents Janis: neither could she Janis: I'm just 😎 than you Jimmy: you just wanna pierce my other ear and cut my hair Janis: you do need a haircut Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: 😏 Jimmy: find loads of yours in owt I've worn AND wake up with it in my mouth Jimmy: it'd take the piss trying to murder you Janis: with this perma-tan? Janis: still get away with it, don't worry Janis: anyway, I'll 💀 you first Jimmy: so you keep promising Janis: time and a place is all I need, new boy Jimmy: if you need a written invite I'm sure whoever's party this is can at least manage to 🖋 your name, Jenna Janis: wouldn't 🤞 Janis: am a vampire though so, at least gotta wave me in Jimmy: good thing you scrub up decent then Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: gonna teach me how to sign it if I make sure you're saying it right in Irish? Jimmy: about equal as useful skills go probably Jimmy: unless your next fake boyfriend is deaf and then I'll be fuming duh Janis: gonna make that happen now, obvs Janis: gonna be a tough stalk but got no doubt in my skillz Jimmy: brb 😭 Jimmy: *🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 obvs Janis: I'll tell him you're so 💪🏆 Jimmy: tell everyone how well hard I am, double meaning works for lads and lasses Janis: don't wanna come across as protest too much though Janis: fine line Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll leak my nudes Janis: not gonna hurt your rep Jimmy: I know, but we're trying to clear my DMs not encourage lasses to send more Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I do it when we've been together a bit and I've let myself go Janis: gut covering most of it? Janis: good idea Jimmy: works for Mr Lucas Jimmy: I bloody miss that stud Janis: will 🤞 mine you get at least one date with him 'fore you piss off then Jimmy: SO romantic that Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not like the prospect of being alone with him actually makes my skin crawl Jimmy: 'course not, you know how lucky you are Jimmy: and dead special Janis: sound like his lines Jimmy: we're that #connected OMG Janis: 💫🔮 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: @ me as a 👻 when he does you in though Jimmy: as fake girlfriend's go Janis: you done this before? Jimmy: What? Janis: fake 💕 Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Dunno Janis: just trying to gage how much of a compliment it is Jimmy: how much of a compliment do you want? Janis: fake ones don't interest me Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: saying if you don't wanna say it, I don't wanna hear it Jimmy: I don't say owt unless I want to Janis: me either Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: weren't a request or anything Jimmy: can be Janis: it wasn't Jimmy: Alright Janis: meet you later then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: they been in today Jimmy: are we gonna start asking questions we know the answer to now or what? Janis: not the most fun game 2 people can play but Jimmy: but? Janis: both too busy for fuck all else Jimmy: oi, I'm NEVER too busy for you 💕 Janis: that's the official story Janis: also surely 🥇 if I don't distract you from your 💰 Jimmy: 🥇 that you do Janis: hmm Janis: might have to wait on that Janis: my dog walking look ain't one, no doubt Jimmy: it is if my 😍 say so Jimmy: and it were you who said they chase lads and try and all that bollocks, you don't have to, that's why it's goals Janis: what time does your shift end today anyway? Jimmy: I'm closing that's why you got to see my 🐕📷 earlier Janis: she's cute Jimmy: @ her Jimmy: reckon my sister's made her one by now Janis: don't even Janis: Gracie used to have one for every cat we had and they all had a different 'voice' Janis: sign of trouble to come, tbh 🤪 Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: compelling narrative, very 🧼 lives they were apparently living Jimmy: maybe Bill's 👻 will follow her round for a bit, leave me to my 🎭 Janis: obviously got bullied out of that behaviour ages ago, soz Jimmy: like the bollocks Mia has her doing ain't even more Shakespearean Janis: regardless, she's up her 😽 instead now Janis: cats are gutted Janis: all that graft for nothing Jimmy: lovely Jimmy: such a way with words he'll be after you Janis: 'cos you've been soliloquizing this whole time Janis: he's well impressed with me already tah Jimmy: one word for it 😏 Janis: 🛑😂 Jimmy: soz that verbally wanking off these customers for tips don't roll off the tongue in the same way but Jimmy: customer service ain't come a very long way Janis: I get it Janis: worst part of the day is talking to the owners Jimmy: next place I'm fully committing to fake deaf mute Janis: I would Jimmy: back up north they'll be thick enough to believe it were hereditary and stuck me down suddenly while I were gone Janis: could always have one off if you wanna go for a bit of realism Jimmy: most of 'em ain't heard me say nowt any road Jimmy: no need to come for Vinnie's entire brand Janis: you always had the mute part down then Jimmy: that a question? Janis: if you liked the obvious one earlier, can be Jimmy: you heard me say I don't say owt unless I want to Jimmy: unless you've got the deaf bit down yourself Janis: a plot twist too far, I reckon Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 if you're faking being that shit at signing Janis: cheek Janis: you're obviously a bad teacher Jimmy: would be if you were getting me to teach you things you already know, yeah Janis: that'd just be silly Jimmy: nowt close to the biggest load of bollocks we've done though Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: alright, what can I remind you of? Janis: our 🏆👑💪🥇 moments, obviously Jimmy: that's LITERALLY all of 'em Janis: DUH Jimmy: I get it, you want a soliloquy Janis: double-sided Jimmy: [is a nerd so does write her one] Janis: not gonna mark it Janis: can't do it how Lucas does, 'course 💔 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: you said you couldn't write Jimmy: and? Jimmy: I can't Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: you get what you ask for, just the kind of fake boyfriend I am Janis: you can do my English homework for the foreseeable then Jimmy: he'll know it's me but if that's alright with you Janis: oh yeah, your connection Jimmy: that and the quality'll go way up Janis: why I'm asking Janis: got that much brain, like Jimmy: don't need loads to be better than whatever 💌 you've done for Lucas before Janis: fuck off Jimmy: What, you're gonna pretend you give a shit now? Or just fake that you're offended that I know you don't Janis: don't call me thick, 'cos I ain't, is what Jimmy: I didn't Janis: Good as Jimmy: Where? Janis: alright, we can drop it Jimmy: you mean you wanna drop it 'cause I said nowt of the sort Jimmy: go on then Janis: shut up Janis: you were taking the piss regardless Jimmy: no I weren't Jimmy: you had the hump regardless, more like Janis: this is helping Jimmy: What's your problem? Janis: what's yours Jimmy: I asked you first Janis: Don't be annoying Janis: clearly, I thought you were taking the piss, if you ain't, then whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actually leave you to it now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: nah Janis: you're throwing 💋s I'm throwing 🦠s Jimmy: can you not chuck 💀👑 and her mates about tah, got enough tidying up to do Jimmy: be hair everywhere Janis: sweep it up, stick it back on Janis: pay fortunes for that, well decent tip Jimmy: 🧹💰💰 Janis: don't do TOO good a job, or you will be stuck for life Janis: definitely not the point Jimmy: 🤞 even Ian ain't that useless Janis: statistically impossible that there's no bitch in his office with low self-esteem Jimmy: he's had enough time to wear away any lass who had a bit if there weren't Janis: any day now Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: what you going back for Janis: the weather? Jimmy: 🌧✔ Jimmy: got that here an' all, bighead Janis: alright Janis: can't hear all of a sudden Jimmy: maybe you got water in your ears from all the 🌧 we've been having Janis: I meant you, ignoring my ? dickhead Janis: but could be Jimmy: I've got a mum, don't I? Jimmy: will that do you for an answer? Janis: if you want Jimmy: not really, she's well shit Jimmy: but until Ian pulls his finger out and puts a 💍 on another lass' she's the only one I've got Janis: must be Janis: why'd she let your dad take your kid brother Jimmy: didn't @ her beforehand Janis: why'd you come with him then Jimmy: Why would I leave them alone with him? Janis: if he's done a bunk with some kids, then they won't be with him long Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not 📺 you can leave it out Janis: Fine Janis: done Jimmy: are you? 👏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't whatever me about my own life, I've got the 🎻🎻 living it, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't more bored than me Janis: I stopped talking ages ago Janis: you don't need to say no more Jimmy: and I gave you a 👏 for it, you after a 🏆 an' all now? Janis: right Jimmy: 🏆 then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't bother about later, alright Jimmy: I'm already bothered about it Jimmy: don't piss about, how's that? Janis: then mute your phone for the evening or until I am Jimmy: I'm not changing my plans just 'cause it's taken you this long to realise I've got a shit mum and a shit dad Janis: then you can go by yourself or realise you don't have much of a plan without my help Jimmy: funnily enough, I already knew I couldn't do this single handed Janis: don't chat to me like shit regardless of however much your life is Jimmy: don't ask me questions if you can't hack the answers Janis: Just don't answer if you don't want to Janis: that's your rule, apparently Janis: don't bullshit you have when you've just been cagey about it, I said alright, so move on Jimmy: it were you who couldn't shut up fast enough, not me Janis: you literally asked me to Janis: why would I keep on Jimmy: I haven't asked for nowt Janis: 'you can leave it out' Janis: so I did Janis: then I weren't interested enough Janis: I hit a nerve, it was an accident, so fuck off and deal with it or drop it Jimmy: what would you like me to deal with, that my mum can't do nowt or that I dunno if she would even if she could do? 'Cause that's where we were going with your bollocks assessment of my life story there Jimmy: they're as useless to me as each other Janis: She did the bunk, not your dad Jimmy: she did one first Janis: right Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I don't reckon he's involved, unless she found him on her way out Janis: your dad know where she is, or was that the point Jimmy: does it sound like he tells me owt he knows? Janis: you'd probably knew if he knew Janis: crap at hiding that kind of stuff Jimmy: is he? Janis: all adults are, especially the stuff they want to keep from you Jimmy: 1. can barely call him an adult 2. he can't lord it over us without telling us, that'll be what he wants to do Janis: yeah, so he don't know Janis: if he could call your mum crap for this, then he would, you'd never hear the end of it Janis: even if smug silence was his style, still loud Jimmy: he calls her all sorts and his girlfriend's never hear the end of it either Janis: is that just male tears 'cos she left HIM though Jimmy: it suits him, when it don't, might be a different story Janis: counts as foreplay for 'em, father of the year, sure Jimmy: I can't make a 🏆 for him an' all, I ain't finished making all yours Janis: you can buy mugs Janis: just so you know Jimmy: WHAT??! Those things I stare at all day?! Janis: yeah, ikr Janis: world's best [insert title here] Jimmy: who does that work for? Janis: never have my name Janis: unlikely they have 'fake girlfriend' so you know Jimmy: never been nowhere how the fuck would I know what the world's got to offer Jimmy: be a pisstake that Janis: ✔ here off the bucket list Jimmy: chuffed to bits, like Janis: how could you not be Jimmy: 💀💀💀 inside Jimmy: and out 👻 Janis: don't stop me living and loving every second Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: feels great Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: right laugh now you've got the 💕 an' all Janis: why else would you pick me Jimmy: ? Janis: 'cos I'm a well known laugh a minute Jimmy: you owe me loads if that ain't all chat but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: yeah, be about right Janis: you weren't wrong, anyway Jimmy: sounds fake that Janis: just saying, whatever you heard or reckoned, about me being sad enough to agree, probably spot on so there we go Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you either thought I'd be up for this fake dating bollocks because I legit needed a beard or 'cos I had fuck all else on Jimmy: don't be a twat Janis: I'm not, it's comforting, dickhead Jimmy: it's bollocks, nowt else Janis: let me be nice Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know why I asked you and it's nowt to do with any of that Jimmy: I didn't even reckon you'd say yeah, alright? Janis: had no reason to say no Jimmy: there are loads but it's a bit late now Janis: you know why I said yes as well Janis: so yeah, don't matter Jimmy: no I don't Janis: oi Janis: I didn't take the opportunity to make you say it, why should I now Jimmy: I didn't say you had to tell me, I said I dunno Janis: yes you do Jimmy: stop it Janis: what? Jimmy: I just said I don't, it's nowt to argue about Janis: why you asked'll be why I said yes Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: rude Jimmy: how am I? Janis: how aren't you? Jimmy: THAT'S rude Janis: what you get Janis: weren't interested in nice Jimmy: you weren't being nice Janis: how weren't I? Jimmy: how were you? Janis: 🙄 Janis: truce Jimmy: are you gonna keep being a dickhead after I agree? Janis: don't you trust me Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: 🥇 one Jimmy: I keep telling you, girl, you can't give 🏆🥇 to yourself Jimmy: keep trying to put me out of a job, well trustworthy that is Janis: you keep complaining about how many I need Janis: called being helpful Jimmy: now you're slagging off my work ethic Jimmy: that's called 💔 Janis: finding fault in EVERYTHING I do now Janis: very rude Jimmy: you started it Janis: No I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: go have a look Janis: do I have to? Jimmy: can't make you from here Janis: that's called 💔 Jimmy: I know 🎻 Janis: what have you been doing Janis: case I need to act like I know Jimmy: you do Jimmy: #🎨 Janis: right Janis: covers all sins Janis: ☕🖋💘 Jimmy: tell me then Janis: tell you what? Jimmy: It's the same question, my dear Janis: oh, all the 🎨 I've been doing Janis: 🏃🐕🏋️🥊 Janis: repeat Jimmy: I should probably post some, remind me when I get back to mine Janis: the fans demand it Jimmy: won't be very #goals for them to be reckoning you've only inspired 💭💕 Jimmy: or true Janis: what are you posting Janis: do I get a preview Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come here, I'll reenact it for you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: don't worry I'm not ripping off Titanic Jimmy: gotta leave something for the 💭💕 Janis: have a job to steam up an entire cafe Janis: even with the necessary equipment Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: definite health and safety hazard Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: get it now Janis: your manager is a CLOSE 🥈 to Lucas and you want attention Jimmy: your guess is as good as mine, mate Jimmy: never seen him Janis: 🤨 Janis: is CG a front for 💰🧺 Jimmy: might be Jimmy: or he's a 👻 an' all and it's getting crowded ⚰ with me and Bill pissing about Janis: intriguing Janis: 😍 Jimmy: don't dump me for a shyer 👻 Janis: not trying to work my way up your corporate ladder Jimmy: unless that's a euphemism, you're alright Janis: maybe that's the kind of work-related sexy talk your dad is going for Janis: not the one Jimmy: 🤢 Jimmy: can I call in sick off the back of that? Janis: I think so Jimmy: fucking can't though 'cause you're meeting me here UGH Janis: could meet you at yours if I was 💀👑 and knew where it was Jimmy: it were you who said the party was near here Janis: it is Jimmy: not gonna piss off back home then, am I? Jimmy: don't miss Ian that much Janis: power through then, baby Jimmy: help me then Jimmy: you're so 💪🏆🥇 Janis: what do you need? Jimmy: If I knew that I'd be 💪🏆🥇 an' all and I wouldn't need you Jimmy: but I do Janis: tell me when your next break is Janis: and I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [gives her a time for when it's meant to be which I hope is soon for both their sakes] Janis: alright, I'll have dropped the majority of the pack by then so I can do it Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 'course Janis: you owe me a preview Jimmy: 💭💕 til then Janis: easy Jimmy: for you, you ain't carrying ☕ about Jimmy: or making it, #extra🌡don't reckon you want a preview of my newest burn scars Janis: don't hurt yourself Janis: or I'll have to prioritize nursing you Jimmy: it's my turn but Janis: you had a long weekend Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: right Janis: gotta keep being 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: how's your ankle? you never said Janis: it's alright Jimmy: alright actually or alright how you say it is when you don't wanna talk about it? Janis: alright like it'd probably be better if I could rest it more but I can't so it'd as good as it can be Jimmy: Oi, you're resting it tomorrow Jimmy: tonight goes without saying Janis: you know what I do for my 💰 yeah Jimmy: yeah and I'll do it Jimmy: if I ain't about my sister will Janis: you don't need to Janis: and you can't sign her up without asking Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't asking for your permission or hers Jimmy: you're resting and she's giving me a hand Janis: you're in charge now, yeah Jimmy: soz I'm SUCH a #lad Jimmy: you can have a go at me when you're better Janis: see how I feel about it then Jimmy: me an' all, see if you're a 🥇 patient or not Janis: you know I'm not Jimmy: that were then Janis: you think I'll be better behaved now? Janis: such an optimist Jimmy: I might just be a realist ☀ girl Jimmy: I reckon I can make it happen Janis: you're being very distracting Jimmy: don't 💀💀💀 it'd really take the piss and go against owt I'm trying to do Janis: do my best Janis: even if it goes against Bill's plan Jimmy: I've got my own for you, he don't get a say unless he's #teambedrest Janis: 💀💀💀bed Jimmy: not til I've fixed your ankle and behaviour Jimmy: soz Janis: jesus Jimmy: I get that you don't wanna wait that long, but I'll do my best an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: it's been too long Janis: know it's only been days but Jimmy: it's alright, I'm gonna look after you Janis: what about you Jimmy: what about me? Janis: you need looking after too Jimmy: I sent out my SOS a bit ago and you said you'd be there, don't need nowt else, do I? Janis: you're gonna make me bedrest on my own? Jimmy: you won't be very rested with me and Bill crowding you Jimmy: take all my jobs seriously, me Janis: I'd rather have you Janis: but okay Janis: reluctant 😇 Jimmy: I'll be about keeping an 👀 Janis: Good Janis: make sure you have something to see Jimmy: be a shit nurse if you can't find me whenever you need owt Janis: you're very dedicated to all your jobs, I remember Jimmy: still should've checked on you before now Janis: nah Janis: had no reason to Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: alright, being 🥇 fake boyfriend-nurse would've maybe kept her out of your DMs a day longer Jimmy: til she breaks her leg or something 🤞 I'll be back round for a house call Janis: don't be doing house calls for no one else Jimmy: I ain't doing 'em for you either, that 🚍 took fucking ages Janis: basically live in the 🏞 Jimmy: and you can't do an assault course 💔 gutted Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Calm down, it were my fault Janis: it was stupid, is what it was Jimmy: yeah, I were Janis: nah Janis: I was the one who fell on my arse Jimmy: don't be making it sound like you and Ella are in the same boat Jimmy: that's like saying it's my own fault Asia dropped me on my arse Janis: it's sizeable Janis: 🍑 Jimmy: you giving me a compliment or taking the piss? Janis: which would you prefer Jimmy: you meant it how you meant it, Jules, nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 Jimmy: are you not gonna tell us? Janis: can't a girl have any secrets Jimmy: if that's the kind of fake girlfriend you wanna be Janis: I can't just compliment you Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's not fake at all Jimmy: I won't tweet it to the fans then Jimmy: everything you say to me don't have to be fake Janis: like everything we do Jimmy: I'm not nursing you back to health 'cause it's #goals Jimmy: I know it winds you up not being able to do nowt and I want you to feel better Janis: I actually appreciate it Janis: you know that Jimmy: but I'm not doing it for that either Jimmy: you can be a twat if you want or if it hurts, I don't care Janis: if your sister does the walks, I'll give her the cash, I'm not gonna be that twat at any rate Jimmy: she gets 💰 for doing ours, no need for you to lose out Jimmy: and before you start, it's Ian paying out Janis: I'll discuss it with her Jimmy: or you'll just listen to me and leave it out, how about that? Jimmy: I'll only get her to give me a hand if I've got work Jimmy: write your schedule down or whatever Janis: alright, hang on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [amalgamating your calendar for what dogs needs walking and when tomorrow] Janis: even if you could do the AM, then I'd be rested enough to do the afternoon shift Janis: [list of some of the dogs] these ones only really need taking out, so I can do then and sit whilst they 💩 Janis: but [other list] these ones actually want the exercise Jimmy: no bloody wonder it ain't healed Jimmy: is there a 🐕 about you ain't walking? steady on, dickhead Janis: just LOVE 💰💰💰 obvs Janis: and not being in the house Jimmy: Oi where's that list I done? scroll up Jimmy: you can buy us a 🐅 and whatever else it were Janis: bet 🐅 need LOADS of walking Janis: giving yourself another job there, boy Jimmy: let it eat my 🐕 and it won't be any extra Janis: definitely RSPCA Jimmy: crack on Jimmy: best place for it, can find a home that ain't full of dickheads Jimmy: maybe the dad in that one'll run it by 'em before it brings it back Jimmy: he* Janis: 🎁puppy? Janis: how cliche Janis: did you not give him your list? Jimmy: I don't give him nowt unless it's 🖕 obvs Janis: fair Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: rebel with the one cause, me Janis: ☕ Jimmy: 🛏⛓ duh Janis: remind me to check for sledgehammers before I get in bed with you again Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call it, don't let me stop you 😏 far as compliments go Janis: 😂 shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: alright, one more drop off then I'll be with you Jimmy: ⏲ but be careful, like Janis: 👀 open, I know Jimmy: you'll have loads of time to close 'em in a bit Janis: as long as I get to look at you for a bit before that Jimmy: I get it, as uniforms go, could've done worse Jimmy: tah @ my 👻 manager Janis: not my kink, thank you Jimmy: UGH fine I'll take it off, stop begging Janis: do you have a defibrillator? the 👵 are gonna be hitting the deck Janis: not in a suggestive way Jimmy: Oi I have that effect on 👴 an' all Janis: in yours dreams, babes Jimmy: in sirs Jimmy: and stop messing me about! Either you can read minds or you can't Jimmy: what's the truth, Jolene? Janis: only when the 🧠 is predictable Janis: 💁 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you aren't mad I like you for your ⚒ not your 🧠 Jimmy: get out of my head, you, how's a lad meant to stay fit and mysterious? Janis: far as the fans know Jimmy: steady on, that were almost a promise to keep my secrets there Janis: only the ones that are mutually beneficial Janis: neither of us needs to be outed for fake dating, s'why it works as a deal Jimmy: even if we were, nobody'd believe it, that's why it works Janis: exactly, if one of us went 😤 😠 😡 🤬 and tried to 💣💥 then we'd just look like we were chatting shit Janis: foolproof in that way at least Jimmy: if you wanna smack that lass I'll think of a way to make it #goals, nowt I can't Janis: alright, don't make me 🤤 Jimmy: don't you make me have to get a mop out Janis: 🚬 break, baby Janis: no work required Jimmy: alright, if you want me 🤤 an' all you're going the right way about it Janis: maybe you can take TWENTY minutes instead 🥴 Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: if you'll live Jimmy: don't reckon we do have one of them defibrillators Janis: depends as well, that Jimmy: yeah, can you take it or can't you? Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: 20 then Janis: loads I can do for you in 20 Jimmy: just come here Janis: [picture walking with no dogs like omw] Jimmy: already behaving for me? 🏆😍🤤 Janis: I just wanna see you Jimmy: [a picture like 👋 cos he's a nerd] Janis: rude Jimmy: soz I don't have any nudes to hand Janis: 1. amateur 2. not what I meant 3. that you look like that Jimmy: 1. Oi 2. maybe you should say what you mean 3. you're one to talk Janis: I did Jimmy: I'll let you off then Janis: really are 👮 aren't ya Jimmy: 🚔🚨 Jimmy: don't tell that lass I could have her in handcuffs Janis: not rushing into her inbox for anything, let alone that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she's such a dick Jimmy: I get now why she's so 😍 for me, she ain't got a clue about her angles Jimmy: right crime, that Janis: no angle is hiding that Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I could make her look #goals if there were a gun to my head Janis: shh, don't give her ideas Janis: not allowed to 💀 for her socials Jimmy: if she's listening, it'll be you who's getting 💀💀💀 Jimmy: soz I fucked you over by not being able to get enough of you Janis: I reckon I can handle that Jimmy: for 20 minutes yeah, you said Janis: maybe after that and all Janis: see how we feel, like Jimmy: see how you feel after you've been stuck in my bed for ages with me fussing over you, more like Janis: that too Jimmy: my 💰's on 🤬🤬🤬 Janis: not a bet I'd take Janis: too easy Jimmy: you don't reckon it'll be easy for me to make you 😍😍🤤🤤 again an' all? Janis: you reckon it will be? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: yeah, it's a question Janis: answer it Jimmy: answer mine Janis: how can I answer that Jimmy: with a yeah or a no Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 25% Jimmy: you making a 💕 scale now? Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Janis: sliding scale, that one Jimmy: you ain't got 🤤 or 😳 though Janis: UGH Janis: 😍 🥰 😳 🤤 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Jimmy: Where are you then? Janis: currently Janis: this dead-in-the-eyes one OBVS 😛 Jimmy: hot Janis: you're 😳 deffo Jimmy: piss off I'm always 😘 Janis: nah Janis: the steam Jimmy: is that a #kinkunlocked with you or what? Janis: just facts Janis: [making self seen in the window like hey] Jimmy: [immediately coming out to kiss her as if it's been years instead of days] Janis: [the most extra moment] Jimmy: [we'll allow it lads] Janis: [shit got intense] Jimmy: [yeah it really did and lbr even if it hadn't you'd still have missed each other] Janis: [casually missed you way too much to be comfortable with] Jimmy: [likewise and also feel bad about her ankle so we have lifted her off the ground during this makeout] Janis: [just rest up on this cafe like no one is watching oh you two] Jimmy: [not even putting on a show rn though we're just doing what we wanna BYE] Janis: [that's how it is from now tbh that's the tea] Jimmy: [sadly not doing everything that they wanna because you're in public thank you but being as extra as we can get away with] Janis: [just enjoy the time you have] Jimmy: [another shit party will be upon you soon enough, you can do whatever you want then] Janis: [casually not wanting to go when time is up] Jimmy: [stay for a bit gal you've got an ankle to rest] Janis: [so unnatural in this environment] Jimmy: [at least he can go off menu for your food and drink choices because christ knows] Janis: where are you now? Jimmy: on which scale? Janis: Both, if you like Jimmy: I don't think I need to tell you where I am on the 💕 one, wouldn't take a 🧠📖 Jimmy: you can probably feel where I am on the other an' all, reckon you're there yourself Janis: alright, fit and mysterious Janis: I get it Jimmy: is it a mystery that I don't wanna be here? Jimmy: must be a top actor 🏆🥇 Janis: your customer service voice won't be a turn-on, promise you that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: so you're not gonna leave me a tip? Janis: 😱 Janis: #diditallforthetip Jimmy: that a mystery an' all? Jimmy: you're losing your touch, girl Janis: psh Janis: no mystery, maybe I respect the hustle Janis: no, keep your money, no need to lose out Janis: yeah right Jimmy: 😏 Janis: shameless, some might say Jimmy: some will have done Jimmy: what are you gonna say? Janis: officially? Janis: sharing my location, OBVS Jimmy: officially there's never any mystery DUH Janis: so in-synch so trusting yeah Jimmy: unless it's #datenight 😱😱 Jimmy: a lad's allowed his secrets for a bit then Janis: a good idea for when we aren't obligated to SHOW UP to these bullshit parties Jimmy: I get it, you're still 😭 you still can't dance Jimmy: soon baby Janis: I can dance, you won't let me Jimmy: Oi, pick your moments I'm 😭 there ain't a nurse emoji Jimmy: how am I supposed to #flex? Janis: NO emoji can show how caring you are, babes Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: I need everyone to know I have the outfit Jimmy: ugh I'll have to get my 📷 out again, takes the piss, that Janis: GURL 😤 Janis: unless someone has a costume party for their birthday, you CANNOT Jimmy: 🥺 Janis: it's a tragedy Janis: will 👏 halloween 👏 hurry 👏 up Jimmy: that's every day when you're 👻💕🧛 Janis: for my 👀 only Janis: but I'll take some 🔥 shots without your consent, 'course Jimmy: how 🔥 can they be without MY help? Janis: RUDENESS! Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [IRL 😛] Jimmy: you've never looked more 🥇 or 🔥 Janis: shut up or publically declare it Jimmy: [cue some extra posts on socials] Janis: [extra ass reply about how hard it is to let him work like you don't mean it at all okay] Jimmy: [we're just flirting hardcore and we mean every word] Janis: how do you do this Janis: ignore all the 🤤 Jimmy: other than being a fake deaf mute? Janis: some of them must be at least a little 😜 though Janis: not all 🤨🤢🤮 Jimmy: why must they? Janis: odds Janis: not every customer can be Janis: well, maybe they can Jimmy: I ain't bothered, that's about me not them Jimmy: already got one work place romeo in @iantaylor8 Janis: fair Janis: be a weird one to be 💪🏆 about Janis: with your dad, anyway Janis: other barista boys, OBVS 🙄 Jimmy: worse than new boy, that Janis: not like you have nametags or anything Jimmy: [looks down at his like what bollocks does mine say today] Janis: you do all look much of a muchness Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're definitely like, top 3 though Jimmy: you're just being a dickhead now Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: very ungrateful Janis: still placed podium Jimmy: what do I always say? Janis: is that a trick question? Jimmy: yeah, if you pay attention to owt Jimmy: keep your 🥈🥉 Janis: I'm paying you plenty of attention Jimmy: if that's the best you can do, we can call it plenty Janis: 😒 Janis: erm, didn't BARELY 👀 at that other lad mopping up that spill for you for nothing Jimmy: very ungrateful, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: MEAN too Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: [comes over and gives her something like a 🍪 in a very flirty manner like am I though] Janis: ['bribery' but as per whispering so everything is saucier than it needs to be] Jimmy: [looks over at the tip jar and back at her with a little lol like] Janis: ['so pushy!' but a lol and a LOOK, and is obvs gonna pay at the end we're not cheeky] Jimmy: [always gotta give her a LOOK back but this one is even more extra cos we have to walk away at the same time] Janis: [actual pouting, like obvs in an OTT way but we know you mean it] Jimmy: [we all know he's gonna come back and kiss her for that pouty lip goodness because his manager is not around] Janis: [not like any customer didn't see you making out outside, live ya lives] Jimmy: [sadly the flatwhites aren't here but it gives us an excuse to have another moment™ when they are] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do some actual work but send LOOKS her way because it's been a long few days without the bae] Janis: I can head out Janis: 'til you're done Jimmy: none of the fans are here running a ⏲ far as I can 👀 Janis: just the ones who NEED everyone to know they NEED to be back in the office asap Jimmy: hang on, Mia's dad's here???! 😱😱 Janis: and you, without a lick of makeup on Janis: honestly, how are you going to catch a man, never mind keep one Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: doubt he's a bigger tipper than 💀👑 Jimmy: 1. I've always got my 🤡 face on 2. I LOVE him for his 💙 and values, tah very much Janis: 1. JUST his type, give or take a few shades towards the orange 2. big yikes sis Jimmy: would've thought it'd be the whiter the better, FULL of surprises, him Jimmy: can't wait to send him my nudes and how many words I can type a minute!! 🍆💦 Janis: oh, strictly FAKE tan honey Janis: lucky for you Janis: 🤞 you get IT Jimmy: legs uncrossed Jimmy: streaky with my bottled tan Janis: stop trying to make me jealous Jimmy: if you'd JUST learn to share we could sort that threesome Janis: sounds like a trio of 🥉 to me Jimmy: I won't have you talking about yourself like that, sweetheart Jimmy: put me out of a job Janis: fuck off 😂 Janis: 💭 up a better third and it could be 🥇 Jimmy: walking out would put me out of a job an' all 💔 Jimmy: unless my manager's our 3rd Janis: 👻🧛👻 Janis: every gals dream Jimmy: 🤞 you don't feel him more than you do me, that'd be my nightmare Janis: awh Janis: baby Jimmy: [sad face] Janis: stop it Janis: everyone gonna rush over with 💰 and I won't be able to get close Jimmy: [comes over under the pretence of cleaning up as if you need to be getting as close as you are to do that, boy] Janis: [just being over-friendly like OMG thank you SO much] Jimmy: [being OTT touchy feely in return but we know you're not really doing it for tips this time lol] Janis: you're trying to get me to 😳 on the scale, yeah Jimmy: keeping you on brand, every dickhead knows pink is your colour Janis: I suit every colour Jimmy: it's only hats you don't, head that big Janis: and hair Janis: a struggle Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: you're really getting put through it, yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: where is your care and attention now, honestly Jimmy: I've got struggles of my own, don't I? Janis: you mean I didn't make you feel better? Jimmy: 1. it's my job to make you feel better 2. I just wanna do that and I can't Janis: 1. **2nd or 3rd job though 2. then I'll go 'til you can 🤏 easier to miss you when you aren't right there Jimmy: 1. Depends how you're ranking 'em 2. 🤏 rude Janis: 1. 💍 to this one, I know 2. I meant it VERY nicely 😇 Jimmy: Where are you going then? Janis: 🤷 Janis: see where my 👣 take me, just quirky like that Jimmy: why are you trying to sabotage all my hard work? Jimmy: that ankle ain't meant to be taking you nowhere Jimmy: at least chuck an 👵 out of her 🦽 or nick a 🛒 off her put upon daughter/son/husband Janis: no 🏃💃 I promise Jimmy: 😒 Janis: trust me Janis: wouldn't do ANYTHING to prolong my bedrest Jimmy: I remember how much it did your head in Janis: some parts of it Jimmy: 🖋 me a list, it's not a bollocks ploy to get you to stay off your feet for a bit longer or owt, I'll TOTALLY read it Janis: only of the bits I didn't like Janis: gonna tell you what I did later Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [blows actual at him as she goes] Jimmy: [we're just watching her leave as per] Janis: earn those tips babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Imma hit up Bill for a 🖋 Jimmy: you should've said, I've had given you one Janis: know you've got a sharpie Janis: want a full feather and ink job Jimmy: bit rude of you to assume I don't have them in my pocket an' all Janis: you were very pleased to see me Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: you can tell me the truth you know, I've worked out you're going dress shopping for the fake 👰💍🤵 Janis: LOVE to be that psychotic Janis: make 'em be my bridesmaids Jimmy: keep your 🥊 up in case you see that lass in there having a try on Janis: fight over the dress, the 🤵 Janis: definitely a romcom Jimmy: buy the one she 💀💀💀 Jimmy: * in Janis: hot Janis: she's short as fuck though, look ridiculous Jimmy: I'll wear it then Janis: hotter Janis: nurse outfit who? Jimmy: save that for the honeymoon, depending where we go depends what you manage to fall off but Janis: full-body cast is not condusive to a wedding LEWK or a good time Jimmy: would make you look fat Janis: well that's uncalled for Jimmy: soz they don't do slimline plaster casts, babes Janis: soz I said your arse was 🍑 Janis: you've taken that to heart, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: thicc or sensitive? Jimmy: both, obvs Janis: 👀🍵 Jimmy: why are you chucking pea soup at me? Janis: it's tea and I am sipping it, HUN Jimmy: you don't drink green tea, hun Janis: you can't take a compliment Jimmy: you ain't given me any Janis: umm Janis: are you forgetting sledgehammer Jimmy: I said that, you were trying to call me Kathy Bates, nowt complimentary there Janis: now you're just tearing other gals down Jimmy: she'll live Jimmy: if she still is Janis: probably not Janis: lucky cow Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: you know you're 🥵 Jimmy: that'll be the steam you like to go on about Janis: nah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: where's the thank you? Jimmy: that's not why you give compliments, dickhead Janis: it is Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: give me one at least Jimmy: I'm going to this party with you, that's a massive compliment Janis: you're going for you though Jimmy: I'm going so you can start your murder spree and I can watch Janis: oh 😳 Jimmy: the only kink of mine that lass'd ever unlock Janis: good Janis: she better not Jimmy: I'm not gonna dump you for her Janis: don't Janis: you have taste Janis: and a 🧠 Jimmy: you're the only fake girlfriend I want Janis: it works for me too Jimmy: good Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that while he's meant to working hard he's drawn a picture of her that's very complimentary because she wanted one and he obvs misses her] Janis: glad you didn't put that on any bitch's latte Janis: it's 🎨🖼 Jimmy: it'd take ages to do your hair, these #bossbabes have shit to do, Jasmine Janis: don't need 'em 😭 into it with 💚 Jimmy: only fun to make you jealous, obvs Janis: you've never made me jealous Jimmy: alright Janis: don't you sound unconvinced like that Jimmy: I won't when you convince me Janis: Easy Jimmy: go on Janis: why would I be jealous Janis: you don't wanna fuck her Jimmy: you know that now, you didn't when you were Janis: when do you think I was Jimmy: come on Janis: serious Janis: I told you on the bus what it was about Jimmy: alright Janis: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Jimmy: stop trying to have a 🥊 with me Janis: why you casting aspersions on my good name Jimmy: Why are you making up words? 🤓 Janis: gaslighter Janis: deffo a word Jimmy: 💀👑's fave Janis: that's me Janis: 💁 Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: yep Janis: jade green, you Jimmy: @ her she'll be well chuffed Janis: not fun, is it Jimmy: being her fave? I wouldn't know Janis: @ing her Jimmy: Depends Janis: making her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 duh Janis: not 💚 Jimmy: same thing Janis: that's why you reckon I'm so jealous Jimmy: leave it out Janis: alright Jimmy: you're not in the same boat as her Janis: tell me about it Janis: 🛶 to her 🚤 Jimmy: dunno nowt about 🚤 soz Janis: I'm so 💔 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: Ian's been a letdown in every sense Janis: put it on the list Janis: or was it Janis: either way Jimmy: might use my sharpie to write it on his head so all the lass' have been warned Janis: DOESN'T HAVE A YACHT Jimmy: can't even spell it Jimmy: #thickANDnorthern Janis: do a doodle, babes Jimmy: I've told you, I've only got the one muse Jimmy: and I've done my 🎨 for the day any road Janis: fair Jimmy: @ him with your commissions, bound to find you dead inspiring an' all Janis: be a bit weird Janis: not even seen a 📸 Jimmy: be better off using your 💭😍 Janis: thought as much Janis: not gonna be a 💀👑 daddy Jimmy: who is? He's 💰💪🏆🥇💰 that one Janis: we could all wish Jimmy: we all DO, mate 🤞💭💕 Janis: s'weird Jimmy: that she wants to fuck her dad? Yeah obvs Jimmy: even if my mum's legged it and got 💰💰 I won't be suggesting it to her 💌 Janis: well, yeah Janis: but DaddyIssues™ in general Janis: how many of them are actually about it, fucked Jimmy: don't worry it ain't a #kinkunlocked Jimmy: we can leave my shit parents out of it Jimmy: save money on the fake 👰💍🤵 while we're there Janis: mine an' all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my mum is partial to a fake illegal wedding, so she'd stay away for the #vibe of it Jimmy: won't be offended, have that affect on mums, like Janis: 🥁 Jimmy: *🎻 Janis: 'course Janis: very concerned Jimmy: still be a better party than the one in a bit Janis: duh Janis: can't fake it better than we can Jimmy: they can't do nowt better, real or fake Jimmy: and we can't stop being #goals Janis: it's the fake happiest day of your life, how couldn't that beat hanging about real dickheads being real boring Jimmy: unless you've 🤰👶 before it then owt else is pointless by comparison Jimmy: gotta use all your fake happiness up on that Janis: not walking 'round with a pillow up my top for 9 months, tah Jimmy: SUCH a part timer, you Janis: of course you'd LOVE it Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you wouldn't let me do anything, it's the PERFECT time to get out the handcuffs Jimmy: SO soz I've stumbled on my calling and unlocked my ultimate kink, Janet! GOD Jimmy: no need to 🌧 on it Janis: just saying, WELL sure this is how accidents happen, 6/10 REAL babies come from these fake elaborate schemes Jimmy: it ain't my fault all you paddys are still using the pull out and pray method Janis: heathen Jimmy: it's the only thing my parents didn't fuck up, tah Jimmy: no need to get him involved in my sob story an' all Janis: 3 isn't a bad score Janis: unless you got more Jimmy: might be why she left, been ages if she just went to grab 🚬 or milk Janis: could be Janis: bit of a flair for the dramatic but then you'd make sense so Jimmy: dunno why she wouldn't have just had it first and left it with him an' all but Janis: as a baby being the wrong colour survivor, throw that out there Janis: giving her the credit of working it out before seeing it's face Jimmy: plot hole being that there ain't any black or asian people in the north Jimmy: they've got more sense Janis: know for a fact Bradford exists, seen the gritty dramas so, don't lie to me, boy Janis: not to mention the soul part of, you lot didn't know you had one before Jimmy: How far my mum did or didn't travel for her dick appointments is none of my business, girl Janis: not one for the family calendar, no Jimmy: far as the gossip goes, reckon it were a few streets one way or the other Jimmy: explain where all the 💰 were going if I had half siblings in every 🏠 along Jimmy: 🤞 my ex weren't one though, be a bit awkward Janis: awkward is one word for it Jimmy: at least I know her 👶 ain't mine Jimmy: could nick it though, when we need one, every dickhead knows all white people look alike Janis: and if she's your sister, just say your genes are that 💪 Janis: how old is it Jimmy: @ her that's something we might need to know Janis: just need to know how fake sad I need to be for the poor bitch Jimmy: it don't have 🦷 but neither does the dad so Jimmy: maybe his genes are that 💪 Janis: lord Jimmy: bit late to tell her about the pull out and pray thing Janis: helpful to console my sister when she next gets dumped Janis: least he had 🦷 babes Jimmy: chin up, Gracie Jimmy: weren't 👴 with no 💰 Jimmy: and you didn't 💍 soon as you turned 16 Janis: older lady Janis: interesting Jimmy: you reckon she did it to one up me? Janis: weird flex Jimmy: when I get Mr Lucas she'll be 💚 and 💔 Janis: you about that then Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: idk Jimmy: you obvs wanna know something, go on Janis: I don't Jimmy: 👌 I'll shut up Janis: me too Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party party Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: 🍺 🍻 🥂 🍷 🥃 🍸 🍹 🍾 Jimmy: that'd do Jimmy: sure you don't want 🍵 though? Janis: psh Janis: do you want to have a good time in the time we ain't faking it or do you wanna be wearing green in all the ways Jimmy: I'm trying to make sure you do, baby, nowt I wouldn't do to make you happy Jimmy: heard you LOVE 🍵 Janis: such a twat 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: bored though, does that count? Jimmy: does it count towards what? Janis: missing you Jimmy: I don't care why you wanna see me, just that you do Janis: I wanna see you Janis: more Jimmy: come back Janis: it's not fair Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanna be distracting Janis: but I don't Jimmy: you are, it don't matter if you're here or not Janis: should matter, a bit Jimmy: Oi, you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: I reckon Jimmy: 🧠📖 Janis: can we Janis: go bed first Janis: just this one time, like, not gonna complain Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: can do whatever you want Janis: but what do you want to do Jimmy: do I have to take back your 🧠📖🏆 or what? Janis: just Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Janis: good Jimmy: it will be when I'm not pissing about here serving ☕ for dickheads who aren't you Janis: ain't even gonna ask you to make me a 🍵 Janis: very serious Jimmy: I won't ask you to make me a 🥪 then, even though I'm SUCH a #lad Janis: fully expecting you to prove it in the other way so that's fine Jimmy: it ain't been long enough that I should need to prove owt but alright Janis: need/want, an argument we can have if you really fancy Jimmy: that's nerd flirting Janis: reckon it is Jimmy: we've FINALLY cracked it, babe Janis: she'll be SO proud Jimmy: do you reckon the 🏆 will be REAL gold? Janis: 🤞 Janis: then we can fuck on the 🚤 Jimmy: if you bother to learn chess when you're resting tomorrow she'll give you another one and then we can 💰💰 the yacht an' all Janis: 😍 Janis: it's a plan Jimmy: you gonna teach me after? Janis: 'course Janis: my fair lady Jimmy: I can't do the accent soz Janis: we'll work on it Jimmy: be a shit roleplay if not Janis: I don't want to be your rich daddy, FYI, so soz Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good Janis: plenty I do wanna do 'til you fuck off and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: do I get a preview or what? Janis: you know I've not punched her out for the dress yet but Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: [some saucy selfie from a changing room] Jimmy: you just said you didn't want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: I said I'd miss you when you did Jimmy: I'll miss you when I do Janis: thendon't miss me now Jimmy: then come here Janis: alright Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: I can take the blame easier than I do a compliment Janis: I don't have to compliment you Janis: or say anything I just Janis: dunno Jimmy: I'm crap with words but that don't mean you have to shut up an' all Jimmy: we can't both be mute Janis: I'm not better though so Janis: maybe we can Jimmy: you're alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: I get how sarcastic that sounded but it weren't Janis: I know Janis: it's easier being fake Jimmy: is it? Janis: for what to say, like Jimmy: any bollocks will do Janis: you reckon any of them mean it Jimmy: probably shouldn't open up a Q&A about it Janis: obvs Janis: how fake is your relationship, lemme know gals Jimmy: start a twitter poll Janis: later Janis: got somewhere to be right now Jimmy: right Janis: 5 minutes Jimmy: Oi no 🏃 Janis: 10 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least I didn't get home Jimmy: Do you need to? Janis: never Jimmy: I don't have a dress you can borrow Janis: you might not have noticed Janis: but I was in a changing room in that picture Jimmy: yeah I was well bothered about your surroundings Janis: thought as much Janis: all about the aesthetic, as per Jimmy: what else are you thinking? Janis: you Jimmy: if that's a question I'm thinking how long 10 minutes is Janis: wasn't meant to be but Janis: same Jimmy: are you gonna hang about this time? Janis: depends Jimmy: go on Janis: if you want me to Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: I wanna be with you Jimmy: Then stay Janis: alright Jimmy: it's a bit quieter now, you won't have to 🥊👵 for access to the tip jar Janis: my main concern Janis: of course Jimmy: no need to be a mind reader to know that Janis: good thing you don't need to read my mind to do any of this Jimmy: there's nowt I'd need to read your mind for, I've got my own Lucas fantasies, tah Janis: now who can't share Jimmy: never said I could or would Janis: 😤 Janis: what's yours is mine, babes Jimmy: you wanting me for my 🧠 brain sounds fake Janis: wanting you to give me things is the REALEST Jimmy: the 🐅 is on order, my dear Janis: but where is 👴 Janis: oh yeah, ⛓ in your other bed Jimmy: how many beds do you reckon I've got? Jimmy: he'll be ⛓ next to you and you're welcome Janis: ⛓ to me? 🥺 Jimmy: Alright Janis: awh baby Janis: you're the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: come prove it Jimmy: or you come here and we can go round the back so I don't have to prove it to anyone but you Janis: how could I refuse an offer like that Jimmy: you might do if having everyone 👀 is a #kinkunlocked Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'd be a shit nurse if I can't manage that Janis: never Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [thank god his manager isn't here cos we don't need to be getting in trouble today] Janis: [got time for that lads] Jimmy: [it's not a cockblock we need rn] Janis: [live ya lives tbh] Jimmy: [it's deserved] Janis: [gotta get to this shit party in a while] Jimmy: [we'll do our best to try and let you have some fun there too but yeah] Janis: [you know you will, gotta pretend to be put upon] Jimmy: [mmhmm] Janis: [meanwhile, chill whilst he finishes here] Jimmy: [try not to be too distracting by which I mean please be very distracting haha] Janis: [casually so obvious to everyone what you just did like] Jimmy: [once again devastated Mia isn't here to be devastated but we can't have everything] Janis: [sure one of your coworkers/if not multiple can be trusted to say something] Jimmy: [Pete would NEVER but there's bound to be loads of annoying barista girls who work there] Janis: [can't all be good boys] Jimmy: [shoutout to him for blatantly covering for Jimothy there because I doubt very much you were due another break sir] Janis: [you'd be so lucky, casual MVP tho] Jimmy: [we stan Pete and this lifelong friendship between you and your future children so] Janis: everyone 🔊 you, mute boy Jimmy: your fault, that Janis: 🤏 yours Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: what's the blonde girl's name Jimmy: why? Janis: keeps 👀 at me funny Jimmy: maybe she heard you Janis: what you saying Janis: I sound funny? Jimmy: might be how she does 😍 Jimmy: not every dickhead's as good at flirting as me Janis: *nerd flirting Jimmy: hang on, I'll ask her if she knows how to play chess Janis: she'd 💘 that Janis: check out her name tag whilst you're there Jimmy: she'd love that it'd look like I was 👀 at her tits Janis: exactly Janis: just get express permission 'fore you 🖐 then it's fine Jimmy: fine for her Janis: who else? Jimmy: me if I were gonna bother Janis: 🙄 alright Jimmy: what are you 🙄 at me for? Janis: well I ain't looking at her tits, am I Janis: good one Jimmy: it won't be right any road Jimmy: none of the name tags are Janis: how do you not know Jimmy: What 'cause I'm BFFs with her? Janis: if I can remember however many dogs stupid names Janis: well unprofessional Jimmy: I can't remember yours, why would I bother to commit hers to memory? Janis: be more believable if she hadn't heard you Jimmy: it were you saying mine that she would've heard Jimmy: I've not said yours Janis: shut up Jimmy: bit late for it Janis: ugh Janis: [going to the toilets] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do some work Jimmy: I'm a bit busy chatting to blonde barista #1 Jimmy: we're gonna be mates by the end of this shift or my name ain't Jamie Janis: see, yours is your real name Janis: full of shit, you Jimmy: her name's gotta be Reagan then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is there owt else you wanna know? Janis: can find out the rest myself Jimmy: 👍 Janis: enjoy then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [flying out this bathroom] Jimmy: watch your ankle Janis: it's my ankle Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Jimmy: you wanna carry on with why you're getting mardy for the next thing? Janis: no Jimmy: what? Janis: just leave it Jimmy: no Janis: then I'll leave Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: why should I? Janis: you ain't Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: then it's just how you are Janis: me and all Janis: chuck a #fated on it, whatever Jimmy: long as you chuck a load more #s after it to tell me what's up with you Janis: there's a word limit, surely Jimmy: that what's done it, is it? Janis: Sorry my life story ain't fitting in a tweet Jimmy: the fans an' all Janis: 💔 Jimmy: just Janis: don't matter Janis: gotta get shoes Jimmy: don't go Janis: don't need to stick around to have her judging me Jimmy: she's not asking you to, I am Janis: thanks for clearing that up Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: seen not heard again Janis: 👌 Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: what, then Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a twat Janis: you don't Janis: what you saying sorry for Jimmy: I dunno but I've done something obvs Janis: really sincere then Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it if it weren't Janis: how can you be sorry for something you don't know you did Janis: don't need your impression of a middle-aged bloke, tah Jimmy: 'cause I know it's made you go into a strop with me Janis: I ain't in a fucking strop, for starters Jimmy: call it what you want Janis: don't you call it a strop, twat Jimmy: okay Janis: I ain't gonna say sorry Janis: but it's fine Jimmy: I don't want you to Janis: good then, ain't it Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't it feel it? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one that's easy enough to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to an' all Janis: why would I ask a question I knew the answer to? Jimmy: 'cause you don't wanna answer any Janis: I've answered all your questions what you on about Jimmy: then why don't I know what's upset you? Janis: you're just that oblivious, I reckon Janis: it's alright, upset's too strong a word Jimmy: so put another word to it Janis: you've mildly annoyed me Janis: most people do Jimmy: how? Janis: do we have to Janis: you've blanket statement apologized Jimmy: alright Janis: what you want me to stay for anyway? Jimmy: you said you wanted to Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: not have a cake and a coffee Jimmy: do what you want then Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [out again lmao] Jimmy: [watching her go again but 😒 this time] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [do you wanna do a skip to when he's done here?] Janis: [makes sense boo] Jimmy: We going to this party or what? Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: the plan were you'd meet me here Jimmy: where are you? Janis: had enough of that place for a lifetime Janis: 'round the corner, you know the gym? Janis: on the way so you come here Jimmy: I'll find it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up like this isn't gonna be really awkward] Janis: [barely nodding a hello and walking on] Jimmy: [just gotta follow her cos you don't know where you're going] Janis: [hope this isn't a particularly long walk lol, especially in the heels you've bought despite your ankle 'cos gotta be that bitch] Jimmy: [we all know he's noticed them and is fuming but we're not saying a word obvs] Janis: [fun times lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 because if it's not a long walk it gives him an excuse to stay outside for a bit because we don't wanna do this rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [always so lowkey offended when he doesn't offer her one but likewise, what you gonna say] Jimmy: [it's his ultimate shade, feel it gal] Janis: [at least you secured another bottle so you can now not share that like if that's how we being] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos she'd be taller than him in heels] Janis: [tom cruise whomst] Jimmy: [at least she actually is tall and not just like 5 ft 4 but taller than you that'd be worse] Janis: [you're hot you don't need to be insecure boy] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't, well not about that anyway, the other issues are strong but] Janis: [neither of you has that going on lol] Jimmy: [literally going straight into the kitchen to see what booze there is the second we're there because we're not asking the bae to share with us we'd rather die] Janis: [just having to make a point of finding whoever's party this is and being chummy af] Jimmy: [take a bottle boy and get stuck into it because I doubt the CG closes that late so you're probably here early again] Janis: [giving him a hot sec before] Janis: right, are you gonna come at least look at me or what Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me how to do this Janis: you aren't doing it at all right now so Janis: how am I meant to know Jimmy: [comes in and kisses her in a really extra fashion to make a point] Janis: [SUCH an aggressive kiss, nbd people] Jimmy: [oh the vibe there is rn, excuse us everyone] Janis: [at least this can be a bigger, more actually happening party when it gets going but for rn] Jimmy: [for rn we're kissing and downing whatever this beverage is between said kisses and looking hot doing it] Janis: [when you wanna take this somewhere more private but you don't 'cos then you'll have to stop so just endlessly making out] Jimmy: [and you also don't wanna have to talk to her or look at her so it's easier to just keep kissing] Janis: [excuse you, the few randoms that are here already lol] Jimmy: [makes me die to imagine the scene] Janis: [assumedly it's like the close friends already hanging then you two just show up like ook] Jimmy: [with your PDA and intense vibe] Janis: [ahh the drama, eventually break off by going in his pocket and taking the essentials like bye with a wink] Jimmy: [at least you can take your turn being fake social with these party goers jimothy, use that barista charm again] Janis: [dragging this smoke out for as long as humanly possible] Jimmy: [comes out after it's been ages and gives her his jacket because that's the fake bf thing to do not because he's worried she's cold or anything caring like that] Janis: [surruptitiously looking around to see who/if anyone can see, so she knows how buzzing to be about this gesture 'tah' but snuggling into it all cute case anyone looking out the kitchen window] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we have that 😎 rep anyway so we don't have to worry] Janis: [hearing a loud ass group of people showing up out front and fully sighing like thank fuck] Jimmy: [taking a huge swig and heading back inside] Janis: [go talk to these new people, convince them to dance with you] Jimmy: [oh boy that's the last thing your sulk needs, we know you can't dance] Janis: [and that you don't want her to on that ankle in these heels] Jimmy: [he's so annoyed there's no faking he's not] Janis: [ahh the fake lover's tiff that ain't even] Jimmy: [your turn to strop off sir, go to the kitchen and do some shots with people in there] Janis: [when you've danced for a sufficient amount of time, go disappear into the loo or somewhere] Janis: how do you wanna play this Janis: is it like, loud makeup sex or something more subtle Jimmy: you heard me say do what you want Janis: this isn't about what either of us want is it Janis: what will look better, that's why we're here Jimmy: go with whatever you reckon'll look better then Janis: why so I can do all the work Janis: come on Jimmy: I'll do my bit when you tell me what that is Janis: yeah, then I'll do fuck all then, oh wait, that don't work Janis: got to be a team effort Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jesus Janis: you wanna be here all night now is it Jimmy: you just said it ain't about that Jimmy: so it don't matter, does it? Janis: if you're having a good time, then I'll say I'm sick, knock yourself out Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals of me to not give a fuck that you're sick and keep the party going Janis: very lad Janis: they'll allow it if you can at least be bothered to do a decent goodbye Jimmy: I'll just go an' all, let 'em think we're together Janis: then we may as well do what we came here to do Janis: stop being awkward Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong, stop having a go at me like I'm fucking this up Janis: all I'm trying to do is work out the next move Janis: you're being uncooperative about it Jimmy: yeah it's me who keeps pissing off, not you Janis: I was dancing in the main room Janis: I've gone to the toilet Jimmy: 👌 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: fine Janis: I'll go back until you're ready to do something about it Jimmy: you do something about it Janis: I'm fucking trying to Janis: You want me to do something so you can complain I did it wrong after Janis: if it don't work for us both, there's no point Jimmy: Why the fuck would I want that? Janis: so you can be pissy and have a go at me Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then let's stop fighting on this and get it sorted Janis: why won't you if not that Jimmy: I don't know what to do, alright? Janis: alright Janis: we don't need to overcomplicate it Janis: we can leave it at routine socials, she clearly don't give a fuck anyway, does she Janis: or your new BFF Jimmy: who am I BFF's with now? Janis: the blonde girl, you said Janis: I did not know how serious the shamelessness issue was, that was an oversight on my behalf, like Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: I'm saying Janis: you could be fake married, and they'd find it hard to give a shit Jimmy: are you saying you don't wanna do this any more an' all or what? Janis: and all Janis: right Janis: when did you decide that Jimmy: I haven't decided nowt I'm asking if you're in or out or if you're just whinging about what we already know about lasses Janis: you wouldn't say it like that if you hadn't Janis: and I was saying that we might need to rethink some shit so it works better but that don't matter now Jimmy: I just did say it like that and I also just said I ain't decided nowt Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it were my idea and it's good Janis: if you reckon it's so good play the game Jimmy: fuck routine socials then Jimmy: if they're gonna be shameless, I'll be shameless Janis: alright Janis: sounds promising Jimmy: it would be if I knew what to actually do Janis: let's think Janis: obviously the #goals best boyfriend ever cutesy shit doesn't work on them all Janis: so we need to show 'em the opposite without you giving it to them, like they reckon you wanna Jimmy: the opposite being what? me playing myself? Janis: basically Janis: so, aside from ignoring them, how would you wanna respond Jimmy: I'd tell 'em to leave me the fuck alone, obvs Janis: so let's do that Janis: literally do that, not a social @ everyone Janis: they can have a 📸 each, they ain't ashamed to be direct so, worth a shot Jimmy: what about you? Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't gonna be impressed or 💔 by this Janis: the goals shit is, as she's incapable of feeling human emotions Janis: fake we're doing some cute thing this weekend, then we're off the hook for any parties for a couple of days Jimmy: Alright Janis: no need to be together actually, plenty we can fake from a distance, yeah Jimmy: easily Janis: that's alright, then Janis: come here so we can take the shots Jimmy: [does] Janis: [letting him in the bathroom, probably to the annoyance of people waiting, not soz 'can be more of a fuck you if we ain't got an audience' shrugging like you got to explain everything 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [I hope there was a line of people waiting lol] Janis: [almost certainly] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you have not dared to prior to this] Janis: [managing to look back like hey] Jimmy: [sitting on the edge of the bath like you've got all the time in the world to piss about in here because what a day and intense convo we've had] Janis: [sitting on the floor with your back to the door 'there's some old photos on my phone, that we never used, I think' you know you've not deleted 'em 'if you don't want to take more' as per talking quietly so people don't overhear] Jimmy: [comes over and takes her heels off because we're angry and worried about them in equal measure and holding his hand out for her phone like you need to scrutinise if these photos are good enough and you're not just stalling for longer] Janis: [shooketh but just handing the phone over, we all know they the ones from when it went too far and hard to post which would make them perfect for now but just hoping he's like no no lol] Jimmy: [does not remotely need to sit down ridiculously close to her and look at these so she can also see and relive the #mems but does] Janis: [just touching where he used to have a big lovebite like not there now, as if they're likely to notice] Jimmy: [does the same to her but doesn't stop at just touching it because why would he when he can just put it back there, duh] , Janis: [when the noise comes out 'cos frustration is too high rn] Jimmy: [spurring him on to keep going as if she needs any more or we need any excuses, but we're going for quality not quantity for once here because just really want her to feel it] Janis: [getting out, barely between the sounds you're making and the ones you're holding back meaning your breathing is ragged af, 'you know what we could do...'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? because we know you can't speak rn boy and we know exactly what happened when you tried to because there's no holding anything back with you] Janis: ['video message her' just looking at him so he knows you're serious 'party girl, that is' 'cos blonde barista was not being that extra and we don't need to involve her] Jimmy: [when he would have imagined a million possible things she could've said then but never that but gets her phone from wherever it got dropped when they were having that moment so she knows he's on board] Janis: ['reckon you can make it look accidental whilst making sure she sees or are we being that shameless that we just do it without the pretense?'] Jimmy: ['I can make it look and sound however you want' because could and also how saucy did you wanna make that proposition boy] Janis: ['just-' repositioning herself to be on top of him as per 'make it look and sound like you've got everything you want, however you do it'] Jimmy: [thank god that whatever feelsy thing he was gonna say about her being everything he wants won't come out because SUCH a noise does whenever she gets on his lap because it's his shameless fave] Janis: ['like that' and we happy 'cos can't be confused about how into this we both are at least] Jimmy: [also Harry has never given you a sound like that, god bless you Jimothy, and bless you both because this will look accidental for the same reason that you end up out of frame during photoshoots, you're too into each other to care] Janis: [or made you make any kinda sound, no blessing for you boy, like truly, enjoy the brief snapshot you gonna get gal] Jimmy: [I like that though cos you don't deserve to think you matter or got under Janis' skin party gal but we are gonna enjoy the excuse to say things we wouldn't normally like how beautiful the bae is and shit like that because we can pretend it's just for the benefit of] Janis: [saying his name way more than we did earlier for that fuck you moment] Jimmy: [still not saying yours yet gal but don't worry it'll be worth the wait] Janis: [don't even care that you're not calling that girl, just need to get it out there lol] Jimmy: [I respect it] Janis: [the people outside this door must be livid] Jimmy: [I vote he should've broke her dress in some way, purely accidentally because that'll be a mood when they do have to go back to this party and it makes me lol cos you can't return that now if you wanted to] Janis: [100% down] Jimmy: [didn't notice at the time obvs but then it's like 😳 so soz gal] Janis: [style it out babe] Jimmy: [we know she won't care and she's got his jacket if needs but he'll be worried how he do] Janis: nice one, mate Jimmy: weren't EXACTLY what you were saying but close enough Janis: [😏] Janis: was there, you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I get it, too soon for reminders Jimmy: have your recovery time then Janis: fuck off with your massive head and find us some drink Jimmy: [does go and forage because kind of bf he is but we're looking back at the dress worriedly and doing an adorable worried lip bite because 😳 did not mean to be that extra] ] Janis: you're cute Janis: not my favourite Jimmy: bigheads are your type, I know Jimmy: but I've fucked the possibility of body shots 💔 the 👗'd be off you after the one Janis: ha Janis: you think you know Janis: and lads might disagrre but reckon you can see enough as is Jimmy: I do know, just heard it, along with every dickhead waiting to have a piss Janis: you act like you were silent Jimmy: not that decent of an actor, am I? Jimmy: and silent films were ages ago Janis: I can feel what's real and what ain't Janis: neither of us need to pretend we can't Janis: like I've never pretended I don't really like fucking you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll take that compliment Jimmy: you can stop trying to give 'em out now, my dear 😏 Janis: it's you who's trying to take the piss, dickhead Jimmy: bit rude how you reckon it's not #effortless Janis: how could it be when your natural state is 🤓😍 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: sure babes Jimmy: [brings her a drink of some description] Janis: [cheersing and going in] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos we can now we're not fuming] Janis: [definitely left our shoes in that bathroom] Jimmy: [boy you've really ruined her lewk in all the ways, she's not made of money in the reboot how dare you] Janis: [she could've stole them it's fine lol, doing a thumbs up at him like ?] Jimmy: [I hope you did gal, just shamelessly touching her hair like lemme fix that for you as if that's remotely why you were staring at her] Janis: [a look like really? 😏 'cos least of the issues you've caused here] Jimmy: [shrug because we can't think about the dress issue because we're embarrassed so gotta act like we're not] Janis: [checking the phone to see if party girl has done anything but she must just be crying about it so 👍] Jimmy: [getting close to her like you wanna check the phone too but 1.you have your own 2. she told you it's fine 3. you don't actually care that much] Janis: ['happy now, baby?' gotta ask him in an extra way 'cos back in the party but also genuinely asking] Jimmy: [hugging her because it's a fake boyfriend yes answer for everyone but as he does it writes 'you?' on her with a fingertip unbeknownst anyone else because obvs wants to know if she's happy before he knows what mood to be in] Janis: ['how could I not be?' in his ear 'cos hugs him back obvs] Jimmy: [picks her up because that tricksy ankle could be a reason and finding her somewhere to sit in the midst of this party like excuse me everyone] Janis: [obviously makes him sit with her, imagining an arm chair so you're both kinda curled up] Jimmy: [we're snuggling] Janis: [just ignoring everyone at this party how we meant to] Jimmy: [live your best lives lads you've had a way more intense time than I envisioned when we started this convo so] Janis: [hohaha love it] Jimmy: [we'll let you have a chill time now it's fine] Janis: [or will we haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [yes gal or Jimothy'll have no secrets left] Janis: [poo] Jimmy: [well that's just rude] Janis: [jkjk]