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mintedwitcher · 4 months ago

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So I was going to reblog further on that "Scott believed Theo over Stiles" post from yesterday, only by the time I'd finished writing my addition I realised 2 things:

I was writing from a reactive standpoint. I felt a negative way about the previous reply and I let it impact how I responded, and

I ended up talking myself out of the stance that I'd started with.

So in that vein, I'm going to rewrite it here as it's own post, with the encouragement from @prettyshon10 (the OP of the previous post).

Sorry for the long intro but I wanted to be transparent about where I'm coming from here. I'll put the rest under a cut because this is going to be long.

(Edit: it got Very Long, sorry.)

The key thing to note first of all is that I wasn't giving Stiles a "free pass". I acknowledge and agree that both he and Scott mishandled the situation. However, because of the power imbalance inherent in their dynamic, with Scott being an alpha werewolf and Stiles being his Second, I do believe that there is more weight on Scott's shoulders here than on Stiles's.

The timing of the discussion alone is a misstep on Scott's part. He initiated the conversation in the rain, while they were already short on time, trying to save a girl who was dying. Stopping to have any kind of heavy conversation at that point in time wasn't going to end well, because there are simply too many details that have to be hammered out. There is too much to say, and not nearly enough time to say it all. Especially with the emotional weight of the situation on both parts.

I also say that Scott bears more weight in the moment because he is the leader of their group. Stiles might have plenty of influence with Scott, but Scott is still the leader, and so it falls to him more than anyone else to sort out conflicts within the group. That's not to say that Stiles shouldn't have come forward about it - in fact I think that Stiles should've gone to Scott first about it - but that Scott has a responsibility to their entire pack to make sure that everyone is as comfortable as possible. That is the role he's taken on among them, and in confronting Stiles the way he did, he failed in that role. (Stiles' failing is not trusting Scott to have his back if he'd told him the truth, and I desperately wish that the canon had gone deeper into the reasons why he didn't trust Scott with this. I've seen fanon interpretations that the trauma from the nogitsune could be influencing Stiles' distance, but again, that's never really discussed in canon so... it's an interesting theory, but it's another place where the show's writing fell short.)

In my initial response, I said that Scott has a "killing = bad" mentality, and I do stand by that, because from canon observation, his morality is fickle at best. He allows - and even encourages - murder when it suits him (killing Peter to "cure" himself, killing Gerard to be with Allison, killing Jennifer to save his mother) but condemns it when it doesn't (letting Jennifer go after her ritual failed, locking Peter in Eichen after Mexico, letting Deucalion and Gerard live). There are even points where his fluctuating morality doesn't make sense, such as when he refused to kill assassins who were actively targeting people he knew and loved. He persists that killing is wrong, and that murdering a Bad Guy makes you Just Like Them. But he overlooks it entirely when it suits him, when it can be justified as something that the Good Guys did. (Most notably here can be the way he overlooks Allison hunting and nearly killing Erica, Boyd and Isaac; not because their deaths would benefit him but because going against Allison would damage his relationship with her.)

It's actually a very interesting contradiction, and if Scott was an adult in the series it would be on a whole different level, but unfortunately, he's a child. Which means that his contradictions aren't exactly novel and groundbreaking, they're just... teenage conflicts. He's doing the best he can with the limited information he has, and the limited experience he has as well, and that leads to some very black-and-white thinking.

His worldview is black-and-white not as a character flaw but as a result of his age and the life he's led so far. He's still a child for the majority of the show, and so his worldview is limited by what he knows. He knows that murder is illegal and that killing people is not a good solution all the time, and that people who kill anyway are bad, ergo, killing = bad. Until he needs someone dead for whatever reason, which he can then justify to himself as "But I'm a Good Guy, and this person is a Bad Guy, and I'm going to save a lot of people from them if I kill the Bad Guy, so my actions aren't Bad because I have Good Intentions." Which is a very black-and-white thing to do. (I'm not saying this is a fault or a failing of his character, it's just an observation. This mentality also isn't specific to murder but also to many other 'immoral' actions.)

Stiles, similarly, has a black-and-white worldview for the same reasons; age and life experience. Where the two differ, however, is that Stiles has experienced more trauma than Scott has at this point of his life. So his priorities are skewed in a different lens than Scott's are. Scott is very much "Save Everyone, no matter what," whereas Stiles is more "Some people can't be saved, protect your own." Which are both very fair views to have.

Stiles watched his mother mentally decline for months(?) before she died. He was in the room with her when she died. And if the very vague timelines can be believed, he would've been around 6-8 years old at the time. There was nothing that he could do to save his mother, and there was nothing he could do to save his father from his grief after her death. I do really wish we had more lore about the Stilinski family during that grieving period, because that would likely inform the way that Stiles behaves now, too.

But what we do see from Stiles is that he is suspicious. He has one friend and he likes it that way. He distrusts anyone who gets a little Too close, especially too close to Scott. (This to me reads like a protective behaviour rather than the fanon-preferred possessive; Scott grew up with severe asthma, and Stiles likely would've been the one helping Scott deal with that throughout their childhoods.) But he's not suspicious to the point of paranoia. His suspicion is always firmly rooted in reality. He notices Matt's weird behaviour in season 2, in fact he's the only one to see Matt as a potential threat. He notices - though doesn't actually put the pieces together right away - that the kanima was familiar to him the first time he saw it. He's the one who goes through the process of actually investigating and documenting the weird shit that keeps happening to them. His pattern recognition skills are unmatched, though severely underutilised in canon.

What I'm trying to get at is that Stiles is the realist in the Scott+Stiles dynamic duo. Scott is the Optimist. Scott is the one who always wants to find the peaceful solution, who wants everyone to walk away happy and satisfied - or at the very least, alive - at the end of the day. Stiles is the one who recognises that sometimes that's just not an option. Sometimes there are going to be people you can't talk down, threats you can't just peacefully walk away from.

Their dynamic should - and normally does - function perfectly. But there are times that it doesn't, because Scott has a bad habit of ignoring or dismissing Stiles' concerns.

Which brings us (at last) back to the actual point.

Stiles had said from day one that he doesn't trust Theo. That there's something off about him. That he's not the kid they knew growing up. Scott humours it at first, but ultimately decides to make his own judgements about Theo (which is a fair choice). This, however, plants the seeds for the discord that Theo is about to sow within the pack.

(There are other instances of Scott dismissing Stiles' theories but if I get into that I'll be here for hours.)

Theo has spent all this time trying to ingratiate himself into the pack, to get into Scott's good books, and at every turn, he's met with Stiles barricading him. He's got Stiles' alarms ringing, and Stiles isn't going to drop it. So what does he do? First, he shows empathy to Stiles, by saying that he knows about Donovan - and dropping that in the middle of an already emotionally heightened moment so to deliberately keep Stiles off-balance - and then using that to plead Stiles's silence about Josh. Stiles, in response, backs off of Theo. Not entirely, but he keeps his distance, because now Theo has incriminating information about him and Stiles doesn't want Scott to know about it. Once Theo has some breathing room, he escalates. It's now not just about getting in with Scott, it's about getting rid of his overprotective packmates. So he tells Scott an edited version of the story. He lies through his teeth and Scott, the bleeding-heart that he is, laps it up. He's horrified by Stiles' involvement of course but he feels for Theo. Which is exactly what Theo wants, and exactly what Stiles wanted to avoid.

The crux of it all is the confrontation. Scott and Stiles are having two completely different conversations, and due to the timing of the moment, they can't go into further detail to untangle the miscommunication between them. So it keeps getting worse.

From Scott's point of view, he's trying to understand what would make his best friend snap so violently. He's trying to understand, to be there for his friend. He wants to help. Why can't Stiles see that he's only trying to help?

From Stiles' point of view, he's being punished. He's being pushed out and away, he's being lectured at for trying to defend himself, why won't Scott just see that he was only defending himself?

Neither of them know what the other is really saying. They both Think that the version of events in their head matches the reality, and they both walk away from that moment feeling like they've failed.

The problem - and where my own stance on the discourse is really rooted - is that the way the scene is presented, makes it look like Scott is choosing Theo over Stiles. It looks like Scott is turning his back on his lifelong friend. I'll have to rewatch the actual episode to get a better analysis of the specific placement of that scene, but that was the impression that I walked away with the first (and almost every) time I watched that episode.

To sum up: I don't think that Scott "believed" Theo over Stiles, but to the characters, it would feel that way. The problem is that fandom tends to project themselves onto the character they like more. I've seen people insisting that Scott underreacted to the situation in equal measure to the people insisting that Scott overreacted.

I think it's kind of fascinating how our personal preferences interfere with the way we interpret media.

#teen wolf #character meta #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #theo raeken #long post

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saintsenara · 8 months ago

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Potions Master Edition: Slughorn/Snape. Was prodigiously talented Severus a Slug Club favourite, rewriting the textbook in the corner of their get-togethers? Or not, due to him being poorly connected, poorly socialised and well, poor? If not, there’s some delicious resentment baked in there. But Sluggy manages to get Sev to willingly attend a Christmas party! Add a splash of Lily to the cauldron for some extra toxicity.

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i don't ever imagine that snape was in the slug club. and partially this is for exactly the reasons you describe - slughorn obviously likes those with pretty faces and pretty manners, which snape doesn't have - but it's also because the teenage snape has no interest whatsoever in playing the game when it comes to how class functions in the wizarding world.

slughorn is evidently keen on taking on passion projects from among the group of hogwarts students who are at a disadvantage in a society which assigns such weight to name and lineage - especially if they're male, since it appears both that the trend in the wizarding world is generally for married women not to work and that it is more acceptable for a man to marry a non-pureblood woman and pass down his name than it is for a woman to marry a non-pureblood man. as we know from half-blood prince, he delights in finding little protegés he can use his connections to set up in ministry internships and then manipulate for the rest of their lives on the basis of their dependence on his patronage.

[i.e. dirk cresswell, muggleborn head of the goblin liaison office.]

we see this at play in canon in slughorn's treatment of tom riddle. but, while the teenage voldemort rejects the jobs slughorn tries to arrange for him, he does play the game while at school, simpering politely through slug club meetings and sending slughorn box after box of [presumably stolen] pineapple.

the teen snape has no such interest in doing this. while the teenage riddle we meet in chamber of secrets and half-blood prince has sanded off many of his rougher edges [the eleven-year-old riddle, for example, is written in a way which suggests he has an accent and uses words and expressions which would be understood as working class; the sixteen-year-old version does not], the snape we meet in snape's worst memory is still visibly working-class in his speech and mannerisms, and i can easily imagine this being a source of pride for him [a sort of "fuck these posh cunts who think they're better than me" vibe] while at school, especially in the way it would impact his relationship with james and sirius.

[and also the way that it would impact his relationship with lily, who does play the game. i think you can do something really interesting with snape thinking that going to the slug club, losing her accent, taking james' pureblood name etc. is her "selling out" - never realising that lily both may want to do these things, but also has to, since they're the only way she's going to survive as a muggleborn in the wizarding world.]

slughorn's going to view him as a lost cause.

but could the adult snape and the adult slughorn get together? maybe.

as you say, snape's going to harbour a huge amount of resentment against slughorn, not only for ignoring his genius when he was at school but also for doing literally nothing to prevent his radicalisation. it is impossible to imagine that people like lucius malfoy, rodolphus and rabastan lestrange, barty crouch jr., evan rosier etc. weren't slughorn's favourites - and, of course, we know regulus black was - and slughorn must have had a very good idea why they were taking an interest in someone like snape, he was just too afraid of voldemort [and of admitting to dumbledore that he'd told voldemort about horcruxes] to do anything about it.

but it's also the case that snape must be aware that slughorn has been brought back to hogwarts during half-blood prince so that he too can be a pawn in dumbledore's schemes. i think you could do something deliciously toxic with snape finding himself drawn to slughorn because of a shared sense that they're both being fucked over by dumbledore - and i think this could lead into some excellent hurt/comfort during the year in which snape's headmaster when slughorn, who must remember snape's affection for lily, begins to suspect that all is not what it seems...

but there's another potential snape/slughorn dynamic i think it's worth discussing, which comes with a trigger warning for the topic of the sexual abuse of a student by a teacher and which is under the cut.

in the films, slughorn is played as avuncular and broadly sexless - with the result that his wheeling and dealing comes across as grasping and a bit pitiable, but generally harmless.

the slughorn of the books, in contrast, is straightforwardly creepy.

he is involved in his students' private lives to an extent we see from no other teacher [his interest in harry's relationship with ginny, for example]. he socialises with students in private in ways which are abnormal within the hogwarts context - it's clearly acceptable for students to be alone in teachers' private offices for detention, but much less so for them to be called in for a glass of wine or to offer their teachers presents... he is happy to let his favourites bend the rules, but also to let them know he's doing so [lestrange and avery have clearly been allowed to be quite late with their essays - and to attend a slug club party while they're still outstanding - before slughorn finally puts his foot down]. the way his habit of "collecting" students - and the life-long influence he then goes on to assert over them - is described makes it sound exceptionally sinister, particularly since the text emphasises that many of his favourite students are also very good-looking. and he is famously willing to receive gifts in exchange for... favours.

and it is very striking that slughorn's two favourite pupils - voldemort and lily - have relationships with slughorn which differ in terms of their power dynamics than, for example, slughorn's relationship with someone like harry.

with harry - as, we can assume, with the children of rich, socially prominent, and politically influential families - slughorn is looking to bask in their reflected glow, and receive social cachet for being connected to them ["i can introduce you to harry potter", "well, of course, i know damocles belby terribly well", and so on].

with pupils who lack this social prominence, he is seeking to mould them into creatures who will do his bidding and rely on him for support [voldemort will be minister for magic in a decade "if you keep sending me pineapple"]. these pupils are made dependent on slughorn for their post-hogwarts position in the wizarding world, they are clearly expected to be grateful to him, and they are clearly expected to do things to butter him up which their posher peers are not.

they also lack the social power to risk rejecting him - i think it's very striking in half-blood prince that harry, ron, and ginny find the idea of hermione trapped in slug club meetings funny, without considering that, as a muggleborn woman, hermione needs the connections someone like slughorn can provide her even if she doesn't enjoy what she has to go through in order to make them. the same would be true for lily - at least until she married - and it would be doubly true for voldemort, who is not only presumed to be muggleborn by most people he encounters, but who lacks any sort of family support in the muggle world too.

[and voldemort refusing slughorn's job offers in his seventh year absolutely tanks their relationship - in a way which the horcrux conversation, which takes place when voldemort's in sixth year, does not. i think this is really worth thinking about both when unravelling why slughorn never becomes a death eater and when thinking about why voldemort is at borgin and burkes for a decade and has no political success until he has divorced himself from his old name and old appearance...]

snape - poor, saddled with his muggle father's name, friendless, under the radar of the rest of his teachers [james and sirius evidently get away with bullying him without any really onerous punishment], uncouth, desperate to be recognised for his talents, and so on - is an ominously plausible target to be groomed and abused by a teacher such as slughorn, who could act with impunity [relatively] safe in the knowledge that their social positions [even before we get into the power dynamic inherent between a student and a teacher] mean that snape would never be able to articulate what was happening to him and be believed...

and i talk a lot about how - when we think about how snape was radicalised into becoming a death eater - we need to recognise that voldemort appears to be the first person he ever encounters who offers him a chance at power and status which transcends the limitations of his class background. this dynamic could be made all the more potent if we imagine that voldemort is also the first person to believe him when he talks about being slughorn's victim...

and to promise him that he will offer him a chance for revenge.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #horace slughorn #severus snape #this is obviously an #unhinged and deranged ships #if we're thinking about it as consensual #that slughorn should be in prison is just straight fact

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nutcasewithaknife · 1 year ago

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Let's talk about Li Xiangyi and Control!

Thank you to @istgidek1234 for putting up with three weeks of screaming and also more-or-less co-writing this with me <3.

Short disclaimer before diving into it: This is going to be part 1 of a 3 part series, one for each of liansanjiao. It’s hard to think about control and MLC and not realise that all three are fighting to take control of their own lives. They all do it differently for different reasons but it is a crucial, defining feature for each of them. It inevitably makes their relationship with each other a delightful heartbreaking combination of understanding but also never really seeing each other.

For now, let’s begin with our protagonist.

Li Xiangyi, wunderkind beyond compare who crashes and burns and then walks away. Li Lianhua, a man determined to bury his past self and become a whole different person, a ghost haunting its own end. And yet! Neither Li Xiangyi nor Li Lianhua can exist without trying to stay in control in any given situation. This is me trying to slot together the pieces of how and why he’s like that.

[WARNING: long, long post ahead].

As Li Xiangyi, the world makes him its Hero. He goes with it, but he has his own standards of what he as a Hero must do. He creates and leads a whole new sect, befitting this image. But it's not just a generic Really Good sect, is it? It has purpose. The Sigu Sect is built to ensure the coexistence of the Empire and the Jianghu, to ensure justice in the latter without sacrificing its independence. Li Xiangyi does something far more nuanced than the Hero Figure ever needs to do - he looks at a system that needs fixing and decides he should be the one to do it. He's taking control of the story people fit him into by making it fit his own sense of righteousness, goodness and honour.

He may be doing that through a Sect, but he makes himself the keystone. Remove him, and it all falls apart. He makes decisions on the fly without consulting the people involved (not telling Shan Gudao aka his co-sect leader and founder about the treaty) because he is sure that he knows what's best. Imagine the kind of constant control he must have needed to maintain over any situation to be able to make such an impact on the politics of this world. But he doesn't stop being the one in charge. And most people just let him, see it as his natural place, so it's all good! He is stretched thin across a dozen different responsibilities, but they can never get the better of him, because he is Li Xiangyi.

It looks like arrogance, and to an extent it is. But it’s also more. Is it his reluctance to trust the abilities of anyone else more than he trusts himself? Is it habit? He grew up being pitted against his brother as proof of his Master's worth, the love he has known has always been tangled up with this burden of expectation, which he never fell short of. He is always the best. He is adored for it. A teenager who has never known defeat before, exalted by the world! Of course he went along with it, moulded his sense of self and worth around it. He has spent far too long defining his worth by living up to the expectations of those who love him. But that sort of adoration is always fickle, always conditional.

The thing about never losing is that you don't stop to consider what happens when you do. When the burden grows too much to stay under his control, it's because he has lost for the first time. Qiao Wanmian leaving hits him hard, I think, because he was doing so much! He was meeting every expectation of who he should be, was it still not enough to have her love? There is anger and doubt. He alone decides on the treaty with Di Feisheng. And then Shan Gudao is killed, Li Xiangyi is betrayed, and it's the last straw. Losing for the first time in such a terrible way makes him furious, at himself and at those who he thinks betrayed his trust. He doubles down. He tries to seize back the control he's lost - all by himself as always - because it's the only way he sees to fix anything. He does it when dealing with betrayal and grief and rage the likes of which he's never known. The only way to fix the grief unraveling him is to get his brother’s remains back at any cost. And it ends in a massacre of thousands.

Li Xiangyi thinks that his blunder was the arrogance in believing he could fix the world in any way. His answer is to walk away. He has caused enough harm to the world as Li Xiangyi, so he will no longer be him. He no longer can, not with this poison in his body and with how badly he's let everyone down. The poison limits his abilities and makes him terminally ill. He can no longer rely on or control his own body the way he always has been used to. Those first few years must have been awful, while he was still learning how to live in this new state. It’s no wonder he finds some peace in shaping his immediate environment, in building a new life. He cooks, gardens, has a home he builds and looks after, has Huli Jing. He also gives himself a new direction, a new purpose - to put his past to rest, to repent in the only way he can.

Knowing is also a way of being in control. If Li Xiangyi's tool to keep control was the power and authority of the hero figure, Li Lianhua's are his lies (the biggest of which is his innocuous presence, his uselessness beyond being a physician). Li Lianhua loves to stick his nose into things and find out the truth, and he is good at it. These lies are his new weapon, stronger than the sword up his sleeve now - he uses them to stay in control of the situation. To decide who is allowed to know what. He also puts them as a shield between everyone who tries to come close, because he himself is one of the things that nobody is allowed to know.

It is while becoming Li Lianhua that the change happens - he goes from meeting every expectation to dodging even the potential of one more doggedly than ever. He must shape the rest of his life alone and make it his own and nobody else's. He will be Li Lianhua, no longer burdened by the world's expectations. Just his own. All that he expects from himself is deeply personal - find Shan Gudao's body, bury him with their shifu, and die. It is only right that he has nobody at his side - he let down every single person who had once loved him. Nobody else should bear this burden with him, because it is his and his alone.

And then come along Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. One doesn't give a flying fuck about the lies and the other knows him well enough to see right through most of them. Fang Duobing is at first annoyingly naive, overzealous to do good (like SOMEONE used to be), then endearing, and then dangerously forgiving and caring. He is the most lethal attack to Li Lianhua's self-imposed isolation because he has no expectations, and isn't the slightest bit intimidated by Li Lianhua or Li Xiangyi (re: @potahun’s meta on lxy being a burden because he is just too good). He's the first who talks about Li Xiangyi as a person, not a legend. There's no getting rid of him, but Li Lianhua will be Li Lianhua. He lies and hides and dodges and lies again, well aware that he's hurting him each time. But he will keep doing so, because love always comes with expectations and he refuses to live up to those.

And then, enter Di Feisheng! The only one he considered trusting as an equal before it fell apart. Also the bearer of the revelation that the past is much more convoluted that Li Xiangyi knows. The past, which was the one thing Li Lianhua has seen as a permanent fixture, a mark of his failure, just got worse. He was manipulated. His Shixiong orchestrated all of this expressly for his downfall. Instead of alleviating Li Xiangyi's guilt, it makes it worse - had he been a better leader and known better, he may have avoided falling for it. Had he not been the person he was, maybe his brother wouldn't have become the man he is today either.

And as before, the more things spiral out of control, the more Li Xiangyi doubles down. He knows better than to try and fix the world this time, he has long decided that the thing he can control is his own life, away from the legends; he needs to know what the truth is, so he can decide what his end should be. But the more he learns, the worse it gets, because his entire life - the people he was closest to, his own identity - is being reshaped. The entire goddamn story is his attempt to have some measure of control of his past, present and future - of his story - while everyone and everything is flying right in the face of it. He distances himself from the legend of Li Xiangyi so he can live as himself. He copes with the past by trying to cut it off and by taking charge of his future, but guess what! The past is a living, growing thing of the present, long out of his control - he knew nothing of Shan Gudao’s hatred. Nothing of his heritage. Nothing about the brother he'd lost. This rogue past is also twisting his present and future out of his control.

Towards the last few episodes, we dare to think he's starting to learn how to share the burden. That he might be letting Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng be a part of this, he is trusting them and himself not be alone all over again. And then! The fucking Styx flower!!!! This excellent meta by @angryteapott really explains it the best. Once again he makes a decision alone, in the name of ensuring that everyone that matters to him stays safe. He knows Fang Duobing will fight it and Di Feisheng will probably commit regicide if he gets wind of it. He doesn't even consider working out an alternative, and makes that decision for everyone's good, because he knows best and the others are better off not knowing.

He will die. So what? Di Feisheng will be forced to move on and find a purpose beyond Li Xiangyi. Fang Duobing will be heartbroken, but he is meant for better things than a life of following Li Lianhua around. He himself can no longer live a carefree life as Li Lianhua, because the world has hijacked his story once more and he barely knows what the truth behind the stories is anymore. He had a brother he lost. He is the lost prince. It was just one story after another. Is it really any surprise that being in charge becomes more necessary when all of his past has been a lie? As @istgidek1234 put it, him throwing himself into every issue that comes his way is a way of finding his agency and taking control of his narrative. He is lost, and he doubles down. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua need to die and he is too tired to build another life. And so he leaves, to choose and control at least his end.

But, well. As any of the people he left behind would tell you, he doesn’t know jack shit. Li Xiangyi's mistake 10 years ago wasn't trying to fix something unfixable. It was trying to fix it all by himself. In his attempt to tie up the strings of the past, Li Lianhua makes the same awful mistake. He presumes, he keeps everyone out of the loop, he decides for everyone who loves him because he knows better. He is so arrogantly presumptuous! But isn’t it more? It’s also the fear that his very presence will hurt them again. That any attachment will come with strings that will make him into someone he is not once again. He must remain unattainable. He's so caught up in controlling his story that he tries to untangle it from everyone else's. But he can't. Leaving means they will simply carry him forever in their grief. Over and over, the story tells us that for those who really love him, losing him is the greatest pain. Over and over, Li Lianhua decides that he knows better, they will be better off without him.

There is, of course, the more meta reading of the ending (check out @redemption-revenge's amazing post about it!). The one where Li Xiangyi is simply closing the chapter titled Li Lianhua to begin another, away from the gaze of the world and beyond the shape of this story. Maybe that’s a version where he lets himself be found by Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. Where escaping our scrutiny allows him to be vulnerable enough to accept their companionship without too much of the lies and presumption, where he can find and make peace with himself and live.

#leave a comment or dm me if you want to be tagged in part 2 and 3!#mysterious lotus casebook #li xiangyi #li lianhua #difanghua #meta #liansanjiao control meta

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rapha-reads · 4 months ago

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IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 4 [The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood With All a Child's Demanding] - part 2/2

- [Claudia] "We do like mortals do. We fight, we eat, we laugh, we sleep, we love. And then the phone rang last night. And all the easy times stopped." - ooof. How to destroy familial domesticity: bring back the real world.

I love, love, loooove Louis' coldness and casual cruelty at his mother's wake. And looooove the family solidarity. Oh, Daddy Lou's fighting with his sister? Time to show our fangs and have his back.

- Oooh, a Lestat and Claudia scene! Dad teaching his kid all the true, important ways to make it in the world. And accidentally making her realise some things she'll never get to have, stuck as she is as a young teenager. But the blood kinda makes up for it tho.

- "Uncle Les says I gotta practice killin' both the one and the plus one at the same time, but I came away understanding something else tonight. I can't quite put it into words, but it's like something opened up in my head, in my body. I've been 18 for 7 months now, and it's time I started acting like it."

Aaaaand there it is. Happy hunting indeed. Happy until the reality hits back...

"I've lost my appetite, I can't sleep!" - welcome to hormones. Can't say I know first-hand what you're going through but good luck. Oh, no, but this is waaay too adorable. The giggling and the skipping and the flowers and the staying on the balcony waiting for Charlie to look up...

- "Everyone in my family looks younger than their age." - yeah that's one way to put it I guess.

Aaaand exit Charlie, pursued by a terrified horse. Taking this opportunity to say a lil something about how book!vampires are basically asexual in the way that their desire and pleasure express themselves through the blood, blood drinking and blood sharing. While the show being a visual media for a modern audience decided to make human sexuality also a part of vampire sexuality, all while keeping the blood as this irresistible force and the source of everything. Don't really have an opinion one way or another, except to say, please we need more asexual representation that still shows that ace people can find and express desire and pleasure outside of sexuality.

- Lestat taking on the ugly role of teaching Claudia about control and how it's hard for vampires to make lasting connections with mortals... Parenting's hard.

- [Louis] "Vivid writer, isn't she" - I'm kinda glad we don't get Claudia's own words about Charlie's death, knowing the writers they would have given us another lyrical prose that would have made us all bawl our eyes out.

The way Daniel is visibly impacted and heartbroken reading Claudia's diaries: he is deeply compassionate. And you can't read people and write about them without a certain level of compassion and even empathy. "Anne Frank meets Stephen King" indeed.

- [Louis] "Claudia was... everything." - ouch. Break my heart, won't you. It's the way Louis is physically struggling to talk about her, the way he needs the pebbles of his zen garden beneath his feet to anchor himself solidly enough to talk about her.

- "It's funnier when they fight in French. And diary, you'd think a girl whose mama died in childbirth, whose daddy gave her away to a mean old auntie who beat her 'cause no one said she couldn't, who died in a fire but came back by the blood magic of two demons, well, you'd think that girl wouldn't know what funny was. But you'd be wrong, diary. And if I told you, dumb diary, that that same girl was being raised to kill like her demon parents did, to take two souls a day so she could stay in the same flat-chested, hairless-crotched 14-year-old baby doll body as her mind and spirit turn 19, 20, 25, 63, 358, you dumb, dumb diary, I bet you'd say to anyone who'd listen 'Fun? Fun? How does she even get up in the morning?' Well, let me tell you something, you stuck-up, flower-covered, three-dollar fancy fucking paper diary, I'm doing just fine. And how do I know that? 'Cause the first man I killed called me the devil, and the last boy I killed, the last boy I'll ever love in this world, called me an angel. So that means I'm on the right path. And that means there's so much more fun out there to have. I'm just getting started."

THE INTENSITY, DAMN.

The crescendo of Claudia's voice overlayed by the music and echoed in the angrier and angrier words. Wow, I need a minute.

Between the "losing my mind in the coffin" scene, that "madwoman in the attic walking down from the attic" scene and the "the sun is a deadly laser" scene, someone needs to give Bailey several awards. And the writing team needs these awards too.

Show!Claudia actually has a backstory, not very detailed but still there, a miserable, painful human life, 14 years of misery and pain - she had a life, she had experiences before becoming a vampire; unlike book!Claudia who was 5 when she was turned, told Louis she couldn't remember her human life before being Louis and Lestat's, and doesn't have her own narration in between Louis' recollections.

Here, the addition of the diaries to the way the story is told not only allows a third party, a third perspective that's no more and no less of an unreliable narrator as Louis' voice, but it also, and I think more importantly, allows for Claudia to speak for herself. She isn't anymore just a footnote in the messy romance of Louis and Lestat. She is her own person, in her own narrative, with her own agency and life. And that's a huge difference between the two versions of Claudia: eternally-5-year-old Claudia couldn't have her own agency, no matter that she was really 40 in a child's body, because that child's body was more of a damnation, a cage, than a teenager's body. At 14 and with make-up, fashion, body language and speech, Claudia can make herself look marginally older, and thus can reclaim some of that agency, of that control. Therefore the issue comes not from the fact that Claudia needs at least one adult to have that agency by proxy, but from the fact that she might never pass for older than 18 and will be taken advantage of. As we'll soon see.

Also she was right, last boy she loved, but not last person, we stan a bisexual murder deranged queen.

And I did tell Lestat, that roof window is a structural failure.

Well, welcome to the Claudia show. That was one hell of an entrance. Crowd's seated for the next part, "Claudia goes Wild party in the Mississippi".

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #iwtv amc #amc iwtv #iwtv rewatch #iwtv meta #iwtv s1 #the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child's demanding #claudia de pointe du lac #claudia de lioncourt #the vampire claudia #claudia iwtv #episode reaction #rapha talks #rapha watches shows

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skinks · 16 hours ago

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JOE. first of all: a reminder that i love you and think you are simply one of the coolest people i know. i hope you're doing well. SECOND: can you talk to me some more about Becoming a Tradeswoman? i have a SERIOUS lack of confidence in my intelligence/brainworthiness/ability, and have always done white(ish) collar work, but. idk. the idea of working at something more practical (idek what it would be) has always kind of hung around the edges of my brain. no idea where i'd start, how i'd even find out whether i'm GOOD at practical work, whether i could hack it...how did you get started?? i remember your farming days, of course - did you just do it as a summer thing to start? how'd you get into it? anyway. whatever you'd like to talk about would be wonderful. you're amazing. OKAY BYE<3

SARAH HELLO!! First of all may I say ilu too and I think you’re rad, I hope you’re doing well also. I’m just working/exercising/watching movies mostly and have begun the process of buying my first flat, so I’m pretty tired but busy and happier for it.

Sorry it took me a minute to reply to this message, I’ve been thinking it over all week as it’s a wide-ranging topic. People’s routes into any type of work will be as varied as the people themselves, but I can share a little of my own experience for sure.

I live in a rural-ish area with a ton of agriculture, so I got into practical work at 16 when my first ever job was helping out on a farm nearby. My parents went to school with the guy who owned the farm, so soon I was earning money for bottle-feeding calves and mucking stalls. Then I moved to a different farm where I got to help with calving and a bunch of other work, including when I first got to operate forklifts and other heavy machinery.

My friends were all either waitressing or babysitting in town , and I was earning nearly double what they were and having a blast doing it without any of the horror stories of customer service. Most of the time I was on my own, left with the meagre responsibility of a lot of heavy lifting, but it made me feel accomplished. I realised I got such a rush from picking up how to operate a piece of machinery and making myself useful, being trusted to complete a task with a definitive outcome I could SEE. So much schoolwork seemed abstract and arbitrary outside of maths/science - even though I loved reading and was great at writing English papers, it frustrated me that success was graded on subjectivity. Maths is definite. Moving haybales from one barn to another until you’re done is definite. I responded to the constant sense of achievement you get from completing practical tasks and seeing your work make a direct impact on the job. It made me feel more powerful and confident, which was a lifesaver as a miserable teenager getting the self-esteem bullied out of me every day.

From there I quit university (once again couldn’t stand the arbitrary un-structured mess that was research and essays) and went back home to work on another farm. Learned how to drive ATVs, hitch horses into carriages, hitch trailers onto cars, cultivate a garden, build fences, wrangle and lamb sheep, etc etc. In my spare time I chased that high of learning a new practical skill through sports; tried archery, skeet shooting, weightlifting, crossfit, etc. I think having a propensity for sport since childhood does help your confidence in practical work, because you’ve already developed your sense of physicality and proprioception. You’re better coordinated, in a nutshell, but it’s not a dealbreaker for someone who’s not sporty.

Basically, every tiny skill I picked up in all my jobs has just built my confidence in my ability to learn a new one, it’s as simple as that. I could drive a car and muck out a stall, so with good teachers I was able to drive a forklift and lay turf, so I was able to then hitch a tractor trailer, so I could then build and fix an electric fence, so I could prune fruit trees, trim hedges, milk cows, dig ditches, build drystone walls, and rig up a mobile generator in the back of a pick-up so I could sand down logs all day.

Your confidence in your ability to learn is the only thing that matters, but you have to give yourself the chance to START learning. Knowing I had learned how to do all those things meant I had enough confidence to apply to an engineering training course at the local trade college. I yearned to learn more skills, to have the access to equipment and training I hadn’t before, honestly, because of that feeling of power. It makes me feel powerful to learn how to weld, how to use all the machines we have at work in order to be a functioning, useful part of a team.

For a long ass time though I felt the way you’ve described; totally lacking in the confidence to do this type of work. I get that, I really do, and I’m gonna tell you I SERIOUSLY doubt you lack the intelligence or ability to do trade work. I know that sounds like platitudes when you haven’t had the chance to even try it yet, but I’m telling you as someone who’s been there and has gotten over that self-doubt hill. You do not lack the ability, you only need the opportunity to try this work and good teachers to help you. If someone belittles you for asking questions when trying to learn something new, they’re a shitlord bastard who doesn’t deserve to be teaching you, and aren’t worth your time.

Can you think of any skill you’ve picked up and now don’t have to think about to complete? Can you drive, or bake, or follow a craft tutorial? Play a videogame? These types of activities require the type of hand-eye coordination, attention to detail, and subconscious adjustment of technique that are the basic building blocks of practical work imo. A forklift control panel or a metalworking lathe look intimidating, until you’ve been shown what to do and are carefully allowed to try it out for yourself a few times to build your confidence.

After that it’s just practice. I find it far, far easier to weld pipes than to… brainstorm initiatives, or whatever it is people do in offices. That’s a question you need to ask yourself with respect to all of this too, like I said before, what type of work brings you the most satisfaction? Do you like the idea of the precision inherently necessary to tool work, or does the black and white nature of it stress you out? Do you like the idea of focusing solely on a task that is literally at your fingertips, that YOUR skill has a direct effect on? If nothing else, the very fact that you wanna try is a great sign!

In terms of where to get experience, I’d say volunteering is your best bet initially.

- national parks or environmental nonprofits. Look for practical volunteering opportunities! my rangering organisation always has path building/invasive species removal/habitat maintenance sessions available to the public, maybe there’s something similar nearby to you that you could try. It’s so fun and rewarding!

- local farms or animal shelters. Ask around, see if anyone is looking for an extra pair of hands. I travelled in NZ Aotearoa using WWOOF, and there are wwoofing farms literally all over the world. the majority of them are geared towards people just looking to help out, you really don’t need to have any practical experience to go wwoofing

- local trade cooperatives. This is a long shot but it is something I’ve seen crop up in bigger cities here. people will set up community workshops where you can go along and make use of the tools and equipment in a more amateur and inclusive environment, and they’ll often run classes. maybe there’s something similar near to you, and it’s a way to try different things to see if something clicks!

- practical toys. Like, model building kits or even construction toys. It’s a small start, but maybe a good one for you to see how you feel about following plans and building something!

- classes, again. I know you said you’re not sure what you’d even wanna try, but if you have the time and the money, could it be worthwhile taking a class or two, just to try something? leather or wood working? blacksmithing? do you like the thought of being inside or outside? Making things or fixing things? heavy lifting or small precision work? All of it?!

I’m not the best at giving advice, but I do believe in the human ability to learn tool usage with proper instruction. Our ancestors could build their own homes and start fires to make clay pots, and they didn’t even have youtube to tell them how to do it. All it really comes down to then is confidence, and you DESERVE confidence.

Why the fuck shouldn’t you learn how to work a trade, or at least try something practical! That’s what life is about, learning new things. Especially since you’ll meet all sorts of cool new people doing it. You’re a kind and intelligent person, and so long as you’re fine with making a mistake or two, owning up to it, and asking for help when you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll be fine and dandy. I swear it!!!!

#I hope this is at all useful!!!

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esta-elavaris · 2 months ago

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I have half a mind to make this a cute little miniseries but I don't know whether I will or not.

Modern AU meet cute -- originally for flufftober, before I decided I would not be doing flufftober. I hope you guys enjoy, just a bit of cute fluffiness for this far too warm Wednesday evening.

I'll post it on AO3 eventually, but for now it's just here.

Main, tenth walker, modern girl in Middle-earth fic of these two can be found here 💜

Dividers by cafekitsune

Boromir/Sybil [Boromir/OC] ~ 2,880 words

Sybil was having what was quite possibly the worst day of her entire year.

Striding through Gondor’s vast parkland, she turned her head this way and that, tears stinging her eyes and a lump lodging itself in her throat.

“Sarah? Sarah! Oh come on, damn you – Sarah?!”

Nothing. No response, no glimpse of ruddy red between the trees, nothing. What was she going to do? What could she do? Going home alone wasn’t an option, but how much longer should she search? When did it become a matter of informing authorities? Did one even inform authorities, in circumstances such as this?

…Was she hurt? Had she been taken?

“Sarah? Sarah!”

She was so concerned with her search that she didn’t bother looking where she was going, and she realised the stupidity in that only when she tripped.

Tumbling into the grass, she managed to roll as she did, taking the brunt of the impact to her hip rather than her tailbone. She was apologising before she’d even registered the pain.

“I am so sorry!” she exclaimed to the owner of the slack-clad legs she’d tripped over.

A businessman, judging by his dress, reclined on the grass, the remnants of his lunch gathered in a paper bag at his side. He was already sitting up, caught between grabbing at her to make sure she was already and the knowledge that laying hands on unknown women was not a welcome thing.

She tried to right what she’d knocked over – a paper coffee cup, which she realised had thankfully already been empty – and then accepted his help to rise, which he offered as he did so, too. Her heart thudded in her chest as she already wondered how quickly she could leave without being rude, more concerned with her search than with this stranger who was making enquiries as to her wellbeing that she only half listened to.

Then, though, she registered who she was looking at. Boromir. Lord Boromir. The Steward’s son.

Her panic – it had to be the only reason she hadn’t recognised him from the start. How many times had his face been flashed across the television screen in her home growing up, usually accompanied by her parents shaking their heads? When she was very young, the news pieces usually despaired at his teenage antics, often debating (just a touch too gleefully) whether any typical youthful foolishness was actually an indicator of a deeper, more troubling character flaw. But as he aged into young adulthood, and Sybil grew old enough to heed the goings-on of Gondor at all, those stories shifted, instead hailing him as the people’s prince – despite the fact that he technically wasn’t one – and singing of his wartime achievements.

These days, the press took on a decidedly different turn, focusing instead on when he would finally marry. And, more importantly, whom.

Naturally, Sybil found the whole bloody thing ridiculous. Not only that, but also intrusive to any unlucky enough to be involved, and – most of all – entirely irrelevant to her life. So she paid it little mind. But now he was smiling at her, he was handsome, and she was blushing.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I? I wasn’t looking, it was stupid of me – I’m so-”

“I’m uninjured,” he cut in with a warm laugh. “Truth be told, I’ve been debating on whether to offer you my assistance. You’ve lost your friend?”

If it was a friend she’d lost track of, she wouldn’t be wandering the park on the brink of tears. She wasn’t quite that pathetic just yet.

“Sort of,” she offered an embarrassed smile. “A four-legged one.”

Mostly, she just wanted to end this encounter with as much dignity and speed as humanly possible so she could get back to her search without worrying about creating a diplomatic incident.

“A dog?” he understood her meaning easily. “You…you named your dog Sarah?”

Sybil met his eye, then quickly looked away, and finally looked at him again, knowing what she had to do but doubting she had the strength.

“It’s…it’s a stupid joke.”

“Now you must tell me,” amusement coloured his tone.

“Look, I really need to-”

“The sooner you tell me, the sooner you will secure my aid. I’ve quite a lot of confidence that I can help you.”

Quietly, Sybil muttered the dog’s full name. He didn’t catch it.

��Pardon?”

“Sarah Jessica Barker,” she repeated.

There was no way he wouldn’t understand the reference. Sex and the White City had been filmed here in Gondor, after all, continuing to shut down the fancier levels of Minas Tirith whenever an additional movie or season was dredged back up.

Lord Boromir’s lips stretched into a wide grin, his chest stuttering a little as he swallowed down a laugh, before he cast his eyes out into the distance, visibly trying to school himself back into seriousness. Great. Being laughed at by one of the loftiest men in the land in this moment, of all moments, was packing salt into a wound that still bled – and whatever momentary bedazzlement had struck her upon coming face to face to him quickly faded into annoyance, her lips thinning and nostrils flaring.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said flatly.

She spun on her heel but his voice stopped her.

“Wait – wait. Miss! I’m sorry,” he held out a hand as if to snatch at her wrist, before he seemed to remember that grabbing strange women in parks wasn’t particularly well-received in civilised society. “Please. Allow me to help you. Truly, I didn’t mean to laugh.”

He was so contrite, and so damn earnest, that she couldn’t continue to be annoyed. Not outwardly, at least. And whatever ire still had her chest feeling tight was more panic masquerading as anger than anything else – the latter feeling somehow more palatable to feel.

“Fine, but unless you’ve seen her, I’m really not sure how you can help.”

“What does she look like?”

So sincere was his contrition that any who saw them without knowing who they were might think him her assistance, standing and regarding her solemnly, his hands behind his back as he waited, prepared for any request she might have. And then there were his eyes. So warm, and shining with true concern. It was enough to do away with the last of her annoyance.

“Tall, blonde, with a fondness for high heels,” her attempt at a joke was weak, but it earned her a grin, and he at least stopped looking so damn guilty. “She’s…she’s a spaniel. A red spaniel. She doesn’t bother much with strangers, so she wouldn’t have come up to you. I’m sure you would have missed her, if you weren’t specifically looking for her.”

“Perhaps, but hope is not lost. Come – please.”

And follow she did. Not because she ascribed to the belief that his station gave him mystical powers of capability, but just for sheer lack of anything else to do. What was the alternative? Refuse, and continue to wander, her calls for Sarah going ignored? And he seemed pretty sure of himself, at least. That gave him more going for him than she had for herself.

Boromir led the way to the pond that the park boasted – a manmade feature in a rough oval shape that curled in on itself, spanning almost the full width of the park, with a bridge stretching over it that was a very popular scenic spot for proposals.

“Ah,” he stared at the water. “It’s just as I thought.”

Still addled by panic, it took her a second to realise what he was talking about, beyond a look that confirmed that her dog was not, in fact, lurking beneath the surface. The emerald green algae that coated the surface of the water by the stony shore was disturbed, broken up here where it was otherwise a thick undisturbed carpet all the way to the left and right.

It was with a heavy sigh that he spoke next.

“The ducks like to gather on a hidden ledge beneath the bridge there,” he explained. “And the dogs like to bother the ducks.”

As he talked, he stood on one foot, lifted the other with not even the slightest wobble, and began to untie his shiny black leather shoe. He was moving onto the second one by the time she broke through her shock.

“What are you doing?”

He grinned at her, the impact annoyingly devastating.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“Something ridiculous – you can’t go in there.”

“I must reunite you with your, forgive me, ridiculously named hound. The ends justify the means.”

“If she really did swim under there, she can swim back,” she protested.

Apparently willing to entertain her theory, but visibly unconvinced by it, he gestured at her as if to say by all means. Then he stood, rubbing at the back of his neck as she called out to her hound. The ledge that he’d spoken of was only barely visible from where they stood, but at her call, a black nose poked around the corner of the underside of the bridge, followed by fur that usually glowed a beautiful golden red on sunny days like this, but was now a sodden algae-ridden ruddy mess.

"Sarah!" she called, hunkering down and holding out her arms. “Sarah, come here!”

The dog panted, and she might’ve wagged her tail, but otherwise she regarded the water, and then Sybil, as if she was asking far too much. As if she hadn’t just been in that very water.

“Oh, for the love of…”

With a groan, she toed off one trainer, and then the other. She wasn’t wearing white today, at least that was something – nor anything particularly nice. Just workout leggings and a long, baggy tank top reserved for dog walking and generally not being seen by anybody of consequence. So much for that.

“What are you doing?” Boromir echoed her earlier words, placing himself between her and the pond.

“I’m getting my dog.”

“I’ll do it,” he laughed as if her idea was ridiculous.

“She’s my dog.”

“It’s my father’s pond,” he countered easily. “Technically speaking. And I was the one who presided over its opening ceremony, so I suppose it’s also part mine.”

“You can’t-”

“I insist! I can’t have you stealing my thunder when I have an opportunity for heroics.”

Those brilliant, handsome grins of his could easily have her giving him the damn dog if he kept it up. As he made his insistences, he took the cufflinks from his cuffs, handing them to her for safekeeping before he began to roll up his shirtsleeves. Too stunned for words, she may have ended up staring at his forearms…and he may have caught her. The grin on his face became just a touch more boyish for it.

“Are you sure?” she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun as she squinted up at him.

“I insist,” he repeated. “On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Tell me your name.”

It beggared belief. How swiftly, without being able to even pinpoint when it had happened, the atmosphere between them felt charged, somehow, now that she wasn’t driven by panic. When he saw how his condition surprised her, he looked just a little too smug, so Sybil gave herself a shake, cleared her throat, and breathed a laugh.

“Well?” he prompted, removing his socks next.

“You haven’t held up your end of the deal yet.”

She almost regretted her words when he stepped into the pond. Gritting his teeth, he hissed sharply at the cold, then looked at her as if to make sure she was still watching. When he found that she was – little could persuade her to look away – he schooled his features back into an amused sort of determination, his brow set with a smirk tugging at his lips.

Sarah watched the spectacle with curiosity.

As he waded deeper into the pond, Sybil couldn’t help but be relieved that he’d volunteered himself for the task. The water, when it just reached his hips, would’ve already been well up to her waist.

“She doesn’t bite, does she?” he called back towards the shore.

“No. I’m more worried about her making a break for it.”

If she decided she’d rather not be captured by the strange man, she could easily jump back in and swim further up the shore. All right, if she did that, Sybil could run and try to beat her to whatever patch of land she emerged at, but it would complicate matters. Especially if the dog decided this was a very fun game to play.

“I’ll catch her, if she does,” he replied, unfazed. “I’m a fair swimmer.”

Yes. She’d heard that particular tale. Although she’d never be so insensitive as to bring it up. Although the knowledge of what he’d seen, fought, and lived through, did make the sight of him wading through a pond to retrieve her dog all the more surreal.

“Faster than a dog?” she asked doubtfully.

“My lady, if you keep doubting me, I shall have no choice but to take it personally,” he levelled her with a boyish grin over his shoulder before he turned back to the pup.

She was glad for his divided attention, for it would hopefully mean he’d miss how she blushed.

Boromir continued wading towards the dog, her brown eyes fixed on him with a sort of interest Sybil knew well enough to recognise as mischief, but even still hoped she might be mistaken. It was all for naught, though. Once Boromir was just out of arm’s reach, she yapped, and then threw herself into the water, paddling happily past him and towards the shore. Once out of the water, she shook herself off with ease, and then trotted to Sybil, sopping tail throwing algae with each wag.

Yes, there would be absolutely no living this down.

Lifting the dog into her arms just for something to occupy her hands with, she slotted the lead back onto her collar, and then watched in mortification as Boromir waded his way back out of the water. They’d drawn rather a crowd.

“I am so, so sorry,” she said when he drew near, trailing water in his wake.

His white shirt was now a very strange brown-ish green, clinging to his abdomen in a way that was determined to draw the eye.

“Don’t be,” he insisted, “I mean it. A more novel lunch I’ve never had.”

Wriggling in her grasp, Sarah panted, writhing and trying to struggle in the direction of her would-be rescuer. Unhesitating, Boromir extended his arms, looking to her for permission. When Sybil granted it, he accepted the dog with warm laughter, keeping her easily in his grasp despite how she jolted, holding her just far enough away that her attempts to lick his nose would prove fruitless.

"Hello, Sarah," he greeted, eyed Sybil warmly for a few moments, and then returned is attention to the pup. “Your mother is very pretty when she’s embarrassed, did you know that?”

“Technically, I’m her aunt. She was my sister’s before she was mine.”

“I think I shall make it my mission to have her grow more comfortable with compliments, too,” he commented idly, holding the dog in one strong arm so he could scratch behind her ears with the other hand. “What do you think?”

He spoke to the dog but he looked to her, his face more tentative than his words, as if worried he was making her uncomfortable. Sybil acted on impulse. Later, she’d blame it on the sun beating down on them, the collective of people who were pretending (poorly) not to watch, and the sheer amount of genuine kindness in his smile.

“I…live nearby. And I have a tumble dryer, clothes that may just fit you, and a collection of coffee options that beggars belief. If any of that would do as thanks.”

“Ah, but you have not yet offered the thanks I am truly interested in,” he said – and then balked, appearing to realise how suggestive his words sounded, and quickly added. “Your name.”

She wasn’t the only one, she thought, who was pretty when she blushed. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she stifled a smile at how he appeared to be in no rush at all to return her dog – nor was Sarah in any rush to be unhanded.

“Sybil,” she answered finally. “My name is Sybil.”

Extended a hand, her cheeks blazed when he accepted it and then lifted her knuckles to his lips. He had to bend a little at the waist to avoid yanking her arm up at an uncomfortable angle, such was the height difference between them – and his beard tickled her skin when he kissed her hand.

“Sybil,” he repeated with a smile when he’d released her hand, “it suits you. Now, tell me more about this coffee collection.”

She took up his shoes, seeing as he was in no hurry to release the dog, and he nodded his thanks before nodding that she should lead the way out of the park. In the back of her mind, she wondered if she didn’t owe Sarah a treat or two after all.

#boromir/sybil #boromir x oc #boromir/oc #boromir fanfiction #modern au #lotr fanfiction #fluff #modern!boromir

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runninglikeabuckley · 3 months ago

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as someone who does like bucktommy rn but wants buddie endgame, this my pitch for their break up:

they’re basically as serious as in canon, maybe buck/taylor levels but they dont live together. they’re pretty happy together, no major issues until…

the topic of kids comes up, possibly in passing. tommy doesn’t want any. buck does. tommy’s absolutely certain. buck says/thinks he isn’t, but can’t settle with the idea of not having kids.

buck talks to maddie, to hen, to chim, maybe even to josh (he’s the only character i can think of without kids tbh but i feel like buck would go to him as a fellow queer man). he doesn’t talk to eddie about it (much like the sperm donor arc…) whoever he does talk to, tells him he needs to talk to tommy. this is not something he can just shove down, it’s not even something he wants to shove down, but he doesn’t want this relationship to end

i also think we should have a montage of scenes with buck and kids throughout all the seasons. no guesses for who features most prominently, but i would for sure end it on the season 1 clip of buck holding the baby from the pipe

eventually, he tells tommy they need to talk. tommy says he knows. he says he had a feeling this was coming sooner than later and he was putting it off.

they talk. tommy says he’s absolutely certain. maybe he talks about his own childhood, and how does or does not impact his choice. maybe he talks about how long it’s taken him to feel comfortable in himself. maybe he says that he looks at buck and he can see all the love that he has left over from his lonely childhood and how badly he wants to share it, to make sure that no little kid ever feels that unwanted again. but tommy can’t do it with him. he can’t change like that. and in a way that’s reminiscent of buck and taylor in a way, buck says he wouldn't want tommy to change for him

THEN. tommy says that christopher's a good kid, they get on well, and maybe if it was just him they were talking about things woukd be different

record scratch. buck goes ??? what does chris have to do with anything. tommy says, well he's a teenager, it's not like coming into a young kid's life. buck says yeah but he's not my kid? tommy says evan.

they break up. it's sad, but it is what it is. buck gets wine drunk with maddie about it. he doesn't tell eddie why they broke up. he doesn't know why

the kids question is far from resolved, and we can see that it's weighing on him. and then. and THEN.

he meets a kid on a call. maybe it's a safe haven surrender, maybe it's a lanky 9 year old. maybe it's a little boy whose parents don't seem to care when he gets hurt. but buck looks at that kid, and his heart goes oh.

then we have the arc of him deciding he wants to foster, trying to get approved, trying to tell people without it being like the sperm donor thing all over again. and eddie's right there with him, stepping into his mess with him.

and THEN we get a feelings realisation arc and buddie

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#i have another post to make about buck having a kid #but this is my pitch #no need for bad guys or cheating or anything #but tie the kids thing inextricably to eddie because that’s how it truly is #buddie #911 abc #911 spec #911 season 8 #buckley diaz family

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amethystina · 2 months ago

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Hi!

I’m curious as to why u didn’t like The Glory. It’s not my cup of tea but I’ve watched only the first season and it was intense as hell😖

Hi there!

Well, it's a bit of a long story, really. To be honest, I don't blame people who like it and it's far from the worst drama I've seen. It's just that certain aspects of it make me so goddamn angry I am legit seconds away from throwing a chair across the room when I think about them.

Again, that's not to say that I can't understand the appeal but it is, without a doubt, Not My Cup of Tea. It has too many inconsistencies, plot contrivances, unnecessary plotlines, wonky characterisation, and the aforementioned infuriating aspects for me to like it. And the more I think about the drama, the more I dislike it.

But that's a personal thing. And while I can agree that there was some intense build-up in the first season, it fell apart in the second one.

That said, I think the actors did a good job! Many of them were great, even! My main issue is with the writing choices and stuff like that.

If you want a longer explanation, feel free to look under the cut. But do be warned: it's going to be long, vicious, and perhaps a little nitpicky at times. I'm also a petty bitch, so there's that. Most of you have only really seen me discuss and pick apart things I like, but I'm just as detailed when I criticise things I don't like. But, usually, I save that for conversations with friends or when I rant for literal hours in front of my poor, suffering wife.

Anyhow.

If you like The Glory, please DO NOT read this. This isn't me trying to ruin the drama for anyone or start some beef — I just want to explain why it didn't work for me. This is my personal opinion, nothing else.

And if you still decide to read it and get angry — don't blame me xD

Also, obviously: Major spoilers for both seasons of The Glory.

(And to those of you who haven't seen the drama and might, for some reason, want to read this anyway, warnings for: mentions of bullying, violence, murder, rape, non-consensual filming of sexual acts, alcoholism, suicide ideation, suicide attempt, domestic abuse, and domestic abuse involving a teenaged child)

This is by no means a complete list of grievances, but rather the big ones that I can still remember. Because I haven't really been trying to retain the details given that I didn't enjoy the drama all that much.

First: You Can't Plan For Shit

The drama pretends that Dong Eun has spent years planning her revenge but when she actually shows up to put it in motion, she doesn't actually have a plan. The drama will tell you that she does, but if you look at her actions you soon realise that her only real plan was to start working at the school that Yeon Jin's daughter attends. Everything else — and I do mean almost everything else — is handed to her through convenient coincidences or because people suddenly decide to help her simply because she's the main character. She does almost nothing to actually plot and execute her revenge. She orders Hyun Nam to spy on her bullies, sure, but their meeting is a coincidence. How was Dong Eun planning to handle that if they hadn't met? Do it herself? Not gather the information? Wait for a convenient miracle?

She's also determined to make Yeon Jin's husband leave her so that Yeon Jin becomes as lonely and abandoned as Dong Eun feels, but she has no plan for how to do that, either. Aside from playing Go with him? Ma'am. That's not a plan — that's sharing a hobby. But then, conveniently, she discovers that Yeon Jin's husband isn't the father of their child! Because of infidelity! And lying! How convenient! Yeon Jin's husband definitely won't like that!

And yes, that is, in the end, what makes the most impact on him but, again, no thanks to Dong Eun. She didn't plan that.

Maybe Kang Yo Han from The Devil Judge has spoiled me but if you're going to tell me that a character has been plotting her revenge for 10+ years, you better show me A Plan. And "she studied to become a teacher, learned how to play Go, and stalked her bullies' social media" is NOT a plan. Because that is, in the end, the extent of Dong Eun's preparations. Her master plan.

I'm sorry, what?

And this isn't a case of "I am adjusting my plan as I find new allies and information" but a "I had absolutely no plan to begin with and am flying completely blind, waiting for a new ally to pop up to conveniently give me exactly the information I need at exactly the right time so that I can overcome this very specific obstacle." In the end, Dong Eun's revenge is executed through a series of convenient events that, for the most part, have nothing to do with her. She has some moments when she has the final hand in what happens — like leaving drugs for Sa Ra to find, or giving Hye Jeong the eyedrops that will blind Jae Joon — but they're so minor it's laughable.

The majority of the events are caused, orchestrated, planned, handled, and perpetrated by someone else.

Which leads us to:

Second: Cool motive — but where's the fucking murder?

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't need there to be murder in a revenge story. It doesn't matter if it takes the forgiveness or avenger route — as long as the conclusion is satisfying, I'm happy. But when a drama keeps building up the main character as someone who has nothing left to lose and is willing to do everything for her revenge, I'm going to expect her to do something morally questionable before the story is done.

Like, the drama keeps telling me, over and over, that she's going to forsake her humanity for this revenge. She's going to go as far as she has to — it doesn't matter what it'll cost her or her conscience. Just you wait for it, she's gonna go dark side! We promise! There will be blood! And death! And destruction!

But, in the end, all the murders and violence are committed by someone else. At most, she's the accomplice who hands over the weapon and, sometimes, not even that. There are times when she's literally just a spectactor, watching the events unfold. And not in a clever "I will make them destroy each other without dirtying my hands" sort of way. Which, to be honest, I would have loved to see? There would be something truly poetic if she managed to trick her bullies into destroying each other.

But considering what I mentioned earlier — about Dong Eun having no plans and only having a very small part in executing each revenge — that falls apart. It's not so much "I made them hurt each other" as "they probably would have eventually anyway and I just happened to be standing next to the action when it happened."

Again, too much build-up and no satisfying resolution. This drama promises so much but never delivers.

And I honestly don't know why? It could just be bad writing, or maybe they weren't comfortable actually making her as morally grey as they alluded to? They want her to seem like a badass but murder is bad so while they'll tell the viewer that she might kill someone, she never does. Because then maybe people won't like her.

Though trust me when I say that there are a lot better reasons for not liking Dong Eun — but more about that later.

I think the part about murder that bugs me the most is that Dong Eun never commits any (despite how many times the drama hinted at her maybe doing it) but Yeon Jin's husband — who was noticeably shaken and appalled at the thought of his wife being a murderer — apparently changes his mind on a dime and is one of those to commits a murder Dong Eun should be committing. I get that it was meant to be a "I will do this to stop this maniac from stealing my daughter" kind of decision, but it just felt insulting to his character. He was one of the few people with a sense of morality in that drama and, in the end, they made him forsake it.

To kill someone that Dong Eun should have killed? Why couldn't she? When she's been bragging about how vicious she is the entire drama? Why force that nice man to carry the burden of that murder?

I genuinely don't get it.

Like, there's no satisfaction, whatsoever? Sure, Dong Eun's bullies are punished, but she didn't do anything. She can't actually take credit for most of what happened. It was always someone else's actions and decisions that led to their demise. And that feels like such a letdown after the drama kept hyping her up, preparing us for something spectacular.

She literally just stood there and took credit.

Third: Plot Armour Thicker Than the Earth's Crust

Aside from the abuse Dong Eun suffers at the hands of her mother and bullies at school, she is impervious to damage or harm. She has some of the thickest plot armour I have ever seen, especially in a drama that includes a fair share of violence and murder.

That's not to say that I want her to get hurt, of course, but it's ridiculous how no one even tries to hurt her when she shows up again when they're all adults. Like, these people have done some terrible shit over the years but they never — not once — attempt to stop Dong Eun through violent means. It's downright bizarre that Dong Eun can supposedly trick them into hurting and killing each other (though, again: debatable), but no one stops to go: "hey, should we maybe do this to the woman who's threatening to ruin our lives instead?"

Not. A. Single. One.

And that just becomes comical after a certain point? These people could violently torture and rape young girls when they, themselves, were kids but once they're all grown up they're too scared to even slap one of said girls? Why? What is going on?

Again, I don't want that to happen, but it makes no goddamn sense that they wouldn't at least try. Jae Joon is the only one who was a bit menacing at times, but not even he seemed to consider the option of punching Dong Eun in the face. If only just for the satisfaction of having done so. And sure, maybe some would argue that they're grown up now and have more control over their emotions etc. etc.

Except they're willing to kill EACH OTHER.

So, clearly, not much growth has happened in that regard.

They're just not allowed to kill or hurt Dong Eun. The woman who's supposedly the mastermind behind their lives falling apart is not to be touched. But everyone else is fair game.

Because that makes sense.

The most laughable example of this is when Yeon Jin's mum decides to run a man over with her car — with the clear intention of killing him — to stop him from blackmailing her about the murder her daughter committed as a teenager. An overreaction, I would argue, but at least someone is making good on their threats.

I'm looking at you, Dong Eun.

And I absolutely fucking lost it when Dong Eun then blackmails the mum with the murder she just committed to hide the murder her daughter committed and the woman just... does nothing. She lets herself be blackmailed. Like, if I were her, I would just have taken that car for another spin, if you know what I mean. Or perhaps used my vast fortune to hire a hitman to kill Dong Eun.

Especially since this mum knows who Dong Eun is — and that Dong Eun is currently the one trying to ruin her daughter's life — and also knows that Dong Eun has no relatives who would care if she died. It would be so easy to kill her. And, clearly, this woman is capable of murder. Both committing them and trying to cover them up. And has the means to do it. But as soon as Dong Eun is the one who should be the next victim, the drama and all the characters completely forget that murder is an option.

And no, I am not going to accept the argument that maybe the mum realised that it would just become an endless cycle of more murders to hide the murders because she's gotten this far, why stop now?

Again, it's not like I want Dong Eun to die, but it makes no sense that no one even considers that an option? They can kill each other and several extras, but not Dong Eun. They can't even threaten her with violence. The writing won't let them.

And I honestly get why because, if they did let people want to kill Dong Eun, she would die. Because her enemies are genuinely too powerful for her and the only reason why they don't win is because they're not allowed to because Dong Eun is the main character.

Simple as that.

In the end, the worst thing the bullies did to Dong Eun when they're all adults was to get her fired.

The scoundrels!

Fourth: Character consistency? Don't know her.

A minor gripe in the grand scheme of things but still annoying as fuck. A lot of characters had sudden personality changes depending on the scene and what was expected of them.

Like Yeon Jin's mum who could kill one moment but stopped the next. Or the Yeon Jin's husband who was horrified by murder but then committed one himself. Or Dong Eun being really inconsistent with when her PTSD will show up. And all of the villains suddenly turning into panicked, hysterical messes at the end despite being portrayed as bordering on psychopaths up until that point.

The drama also tried to sell Dong Eun as very cold and unapproachable — which I think makes sense considering all her trauma — but also shoehorn in the obligatory moments when her humanity shines through. Which I usually love but fell flat this time because those moments were rarely because of something she did but rather something others did with, for, or to her. Like, they want to show that she's bonding with Hyun Nam but it's all Hyun Nam's doing. And they want Dong Eun to have a romance with Yeo Jung, but that's also all his doing.

And no, it doesn't come off as "I am traumatised and reluctant to form bonds and am therefore stilted but deep down I'm a good person." She offers the other person nothing in return but they still keep coming back to her, care for her, try to make friends with her, and want to help her. And I genuinely don't know why.

I'm no stranger to an antihero or difficult characters being loved despite their flaws, but she gives literally nothing. She's flippant, uncaring, and curt to the point of impoliteness. And that in itself is fine. Characters don't have to be warm and likeable. But you're at least going to have to explain to me why the people around her are so determined to love her despite all this. And the drama never does.

It's just one of those "because she's the main character" things again.

Or, alternatively: because he's too unhinged to know better.

Which brings us to:

Fifth: Twilight Is a Better Love Story

I fucking said it and I stand by it.

The love story was painful to watch. Now, don't get me wrong — I love me a woman getting herself a younger boyfriend who worships the very ground she walks on. I also love him falling first.

But this aint it, fam.

Partly because the chemistry was lacking between the actors (Dong Eun honestly had more chemistry with Yeon Jin's husband) but also because of the plot in general. I don't see why a romance was even necessary? It doesn't feel like Dong Eun was anywhere near ready for that considering where she is in her recovery. Not just because she's so cold and unapproachable, but just... disinterested? It doesn't seem like she wants a romance with this man? Until she suddenly kisses him at the end?

I honestly had to hold back a wince when they kissed because, to me, it felt so terribly awkward.

I also want to mention the fact that Yeo Jung's attachment to Dong Eun is bordering on an obsession brought on by his trauma and the obvious mental health issues he has. Now, that in itself isn't the problem — I would be a hypocrite if I said that considering some of the dramas I've written for — but I can't help but feel sorry for him? Because, as mentioned, Dong Eun gives almost nothing back. Which she's not obligated to! But, like, it doesn't exactly help the already awkward and unbalanced romance?

A romance which, again, didn't even have to happen? If it's a way to symbolise Dong Eun moving on, then a friendship or platonic partners in crime would have sufficed. And they definitely shouldn't have added the bit about them getting revenge on the dude who killed Yeo Jung's dad if they wanted it to symbolise her moving on. Because, clearly, that's not a step forward so much as an awkward crab shuffle to the left down another rabbit hole of revenge.

I just didn't like it. And even more so because the shitty love story is a key component in the biggest and angriest issue I have with this drama.

Which is:

Sixth: Justice For Kang Hyun Nam

I'm going to attempt to convey my opinions on this as calmly as I can but, let me tell you, I've been kind in my arguments up until this point. This is where the gloves come off because holy fucking shit I am so unbelievably angry.

I love Hyun Nam. I love her so much.

And I will never forgive Dong Eun for the shit she put Hyun Nam and Hyun Nam's teenage daughter through.

NEVER.

Because, sure, the two of them agreed to help each other out — Dong Eun needing help with her revenge and Hyun Nam wanting to get rid of her husband — and there was technically no time limit. But I cannot — and will not — accept the fact that, apparently, that meant that Dong Eun was going to draw out fulfilling her part of the deal. All while the drama tries to portray her as a semi-sympathetic character who somehow manages to build a friendship with Hyun Nam.

Dong Eun literally left this woman and her sixteen-year-old daughter to get abused by their alcoholic husband/father for fucking weeks.

WEEKS.

When she could have stopped it at any time. She literally just stood there and personally watched them get beaten at one point.

And sure, maybe you'd want to argue that she didn't want to kill Hyun Nam's husband too soon since that might mean Hyun Nam would stop helping her. Turning it into a selfish thing to prove how cold and calculating Dong Eun is. But that just brings us back to the problem that then the goddamn drama shouldn't have simultaneously tried to make me like Dong Eun and her relationship with Hyun Nam. You can't expect me to watch this woman and her daughter get brutally beaten — because, yes, they forced us to, more than once — all while knowing that Dong Eun can make it stop but she doesn't, and then also want me to conveniently forget about that cruelty and betrayal so that I can coo over their friendship.

Fuck you, drama. Sincerely, FUCK YOU.

I am fucking livid.

Now, I know that ending situations of domestic abuse aren't easy. That's not what this is about. Because you gotta remember that the drama has hyped Dong Eun up as a mastermind who can plan and execute fantastic revenge plots. So, clearly, it should be a breeze for her. The man is a fucking alcoholic gambler! South Korea has very firm laws concerning gambling so all Dong Eun had to do was tip the police off and he'd be whisked away to prison for the foreseeable future.

But oh no, we can't have that. We have to watch this abuse continue and see bruises on this woman and her daughter for almost the entire drama. Because Dong Eun just... doesn't care? Fucked if I know to be honest. The drama never gives a good reason, to the point where it just feels like torture porn. Especially since the writers are simultaneously trying to sell me a wonderful friendship between these two women.

When one of them is just standing by watching the other get brutally beaten on the regular.

And this alone would have been enough, to be honest, but this drama is the gift that just keeps on giving, let me tell you. And I'm now going to have to focus real hard not to devolve into incoherent cursing because rarely — if ever — have I seen a plotline in a drama that has made me as fucking pissed off as this one. Is it the worst that can happen to a person? No. But the insincerity and stupidity of the writers just add salt to the wounds in a way that turns my anger into blood-boiling rage.

Basically, there was a time when Dong Eun wanted to use Yeo Jung for her revenge too, yeah? Aside from asking him to teach her how to play Go, she wondered if she could maybe turn him into an ally similar to what Hyun Nam became later. But then she explains to him that she changed her mind and decided not to get him involved because it's dangerous and he's suffered enough.

Because he was a victim.

Because he was so terribly sad after having watched his dad get murdered.

And yes, definitely. BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

The pretty boy toy is too much of a victim for you to use, but the abused mother that you're watching getting bludgeoned on the regular is fair game? She's not a victim at all?

WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK?!

Please take a moment to let that sink in. Because I need you to understand just how fucking stupid and insulting that is.

Now, I know that probably wasn't the message the drama was trying to send but that's what I mean with insincerity. The writers don't even realise the implications of what they're writing. They'd so focused on "oh, she made an exception for Yeo Jung and that'll prove she loves him" to notice what that means for Hyun Nam. Because Yeo Jung was precious enough to save from any kind of damage, but Hyun Nam and her daughter had to live through weeks of continued beatings because Dong Eun was dragging their feet.

They want to portray Dong Eun as compassionate for sparing Yeo Jung, which only makes what she puts Hyun Nam through all the more horrifying.

And I'm going to have to assume that's because Dong Eun doesn't have a romance with Hyun Nam. That's the only plausible explanation at this point. There's nothing else that sets these characters apart so much that Dong Eun would choose to spare one but not the other. Arguably, she has more reasons to help Hyun Nam, even, since there's a child involved. But oh no.

And no, I am not going to accept the argument that Dong Eun is supposed to be ruthless because then the fucking drama shouldn't also try to build a cutesy friendship between her and Hyun Nam to humanise her again. And they portray it as a good thing. As something that brings Hyun Nam purpose and happiness. Hyun Nam is grateful that she gets to be friends with Dong Eun.

I'm not saying that it's impossible to build a relationship between two people with this dynamic, but it's done so clumsily that it feels like an insult. Not once does Hyun Nam ask why Dong Eun hasn't helped her yet. She just accepts it and continues trying to befriend Dong Eun. There's no doubt or animosity or hints that, maybe, Dong Eun is being a bit cruel when she's letting this continue. The drama doesn't hold her accountable in any way and just brushes it aside.

She is, once again, excused because she's the main character.

And the cherry on top of this goddamn mess is that one of the themes of the drama is — and I shit you not:

"What if someone had helped me when I needed it the most? What could I have become then? Would I have been happier? Think of all the suffering I could have avoided. Some kindness might have saved me :C "

OH.

YOU MEAN LIKE HOW YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HYUN NAM AND HER DAUGHTER BUT CHOOSE NOT TO?

I wish I was joking.

I fucking wish I was joking.

But I'm not. This drama is so fucking stupid that one of its main messages is completely ruined by the main character's actions towards one of the other characters.

And no, Hyun Nam's situation is in no way a part of Dong Eun realising this. She doesn't reflect on the fact that she's also guilty of just standing by and watching people suffer. That's never addressed. It's not some kind of lesson Dong Eun learns and decides to do better. Because Dong Eun is the main character and how she treats Hyun Nam is perfectly fine. Nothing to see here.

I cannot with words express just how angry this whole thing makes me.

I mean, yes, in the end, it's just a drama and no real people were harmed, but it infuriates me when media does this kind of shit with subjects that are as serious as domestic abuse. When they make it so obvious that they don't care. They don't care about Hyun Nam or her daughter. They put both of them through so much unnecessary pain and then belittle that pain by instead saving the pretty love interest because oh noes, imagine if he had to suffer! D:

Again: SINCERELY, FUCK YOU.

And I also hate the fact that, in the end, Dong Eun didn't even kill Hyun Nam's husband. She let Yeon Jin's mother do it. Which, I will point out, wasn't some masterplan of Dong Eun's, either. The fact that Hyun Nam's husband found information to blackmail Yeon Jin's mother with was a coincidence. And there were no guarantees he would choose to blackmail her with it. And Dong Eun couldn't know that Yeon Jin's mother was going to murder him for it.

Honestly, in the end, Hyun Nam herself did more to get her husband killed than Dong Eun did.

So, when you think about it, Dong Eun used Hyun Nam for weeks and didn't even really fulfil her part of the deal. The drama tries to tell me that Dong Eun did because Hyun Nam's husband died, but she had no part in it.

I hate it here.

(And I'm almost done, I promise)

Seventh: Pick n' Mix (a.k.a. a collection of smaller stuff that annoys me)

It made no sense for Yeon Jin's mom to save the nametag because the only ones who might get hurt by her doing so were her daughter and herself. But of course she did it so that Dong Eun could use it for plot-convenient purposes later.

Why, exactly, couldn't Hyun Nam follow her daughter to the US? Her husband died in a car accident and no one suspects she might be involved. Why does everyone act as if it is now impossible for her to ever see her daughter again? Dong Eun has enough money to give her a plane ticket. I am genuinely confused.

How did Dong Eun know that Yeon Jin wasn't the one who dealt Myeong Oh the killing blow? Did she base that assumption on the fact that Gyeong Ran moved out of the storage space the day after? Because, ma'am, that could just as easily have been because Gyeong Ran witnessed the murder and fled. But no, turns out she was the actual murderer and Dong Eun apparently deduced this from some very telling fact I must have missed.

I know that Sa Ra was one of the villains and they were supposed to be punished, but to have a group of people film — possibly livestream — her as she's pleasuring herself while she's high as a kite made me nauseous. But that could be because I have triggers involving sexual abuse/violence and I don't enjoy watching anyone get that kind of "punishment."

The sheer number of unnecessary plotlines, like the whole thing with the teacher at her school. Did not need to be there. At all.

I was confused by the rather random inclusion of the supernatural in this drama. Not saying I'm necessarily against it, but it took me out of the experience to suddenly be told that, apparently, ghosts are real in this world and one of them just possessed and killed a shaman. Who knew?

Hye Jeong suddenly showing her naked boobs was completely unnecessary and added nothing — and I do mean nothing — to the plot, scene, or characterisation. It was a moment of nudity for shock value alone because omg bewbs!

Yeo Jung's mother stopping Dong Eun from committing suicide at the end by essentially emotionally blackmailing her because if Dong Eun dies, Yeo Jung will kill himself, too. Now, I obviously don't mind that Dong Eun was stopped — people with suicidal thoughts deserve all the help and compassion they can possibly get — but the way it was handled felt clumsy and insulting. And, admittedly, I didn't buy Dong Eun's desire to die. Which is a horrible thing to say, I know. I just mean that it felt forced and contrived for the plot — like something she had to do because the writer told her to. It was just a mess in general.

Related to that: Yeo Jung, sweetheart? Get therapy. Please don't decide to kill yourself because someone you know is also having those kinds of thoughts.

In conclusion:

Thanks, I hate it.

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #Oh man #This got REALLY long #But I guess that's what happens when I dislike something x'D #I can write an entire essay about it #Because some things are just unforgivable #And too stupid #I often find myself wanting to yell that I can write this shit better #And it's not even my job

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not-poignant · 7 months ago

Text

Birthday Spotlight - Crielle ferch Fnwy

[18 April - Aries]

Crielle ferch Fnwy is the matriarch of the An Fnwy estate, a beautiful, evil Machiavellian supervillain who has been manipulating the Seelie Court and her family for tens of thousands of years, while giving the appearance of being a perfectly loving Seelie fae who only cares about truth and justice.

Mother of Gwyn ap Nudd, and aunt of Efnisien ap Wledig, Crielle is actually only rarely seen in stories, but has an explosive impact regardless, due to the trauma she inflicts or causes others to inflict on our main characters.

‘You’re not mine. You may have stolen from our family legacy, you may have parasitised our reputation, you may have even exploited and ruined the things about our appearance that make us – not you – beautiful. But you are not, you have never been mine. If you felt a short, sharp shock when you came into the world, my darling, it was my hands around your throat while your father tried to pull me off you. ‘Imagine, if you will, my dear, reprehensible thing. Imagine the first time you came back to me after we sent you away to play with Efnisien. Oh you were only twelve or thirteen? What a lovely idea that was. And Efnisien had you for hours. I told him to use knives. He liked them so, and he didn’t think he’d be allowed. So precious. And I heard the distant echo of your screams like a faint, familiar melody all throughout my day. A time when they stopped because he gagged you perhaps? Or your voice gave out? Tsk. He is – was – so crude. But still...effective. And do you remember? Oh, my creature, imagine it... ‘You came home hours later, hours after Efnisien. You were broken and cut and bleeding and so, so ruined. And you stumbled into the house, and there I was waiting for you. Breathless, actually. And you stared at me as though I would – what? – tell you that Efnisien had crossed a line, gone too far? Do you remember what I did?’ ‘You smiled at me,’ Gwyn said, his voice rough and rusty.

Game Theory

Game Theory: Introduced as the manipulative, evil, and cruel mother of the King, Crielle starts off with Cinderella stepmother vibes, until you realise that Gwyn's her only son and she can't stand him, favouring his cousin Efnisien instead. A torturer, abuser, schemer, and conniving Machiavellian figure, she ultimately has been puppeting the Seelie Court for thousands of years, and is the cause of Gwyn attaining, and then losing, his Kingship.

It's safe to say that Crielle has never been the Most Valued Player of any story.

The Court of Five Thrones: While Crielle only has a very brief appearance in this story, her presence is felt throughout. We find out more about her feelings towards Gwyn, through journals he discovers in her house after her murder at Augus' hands.

The Drawn Bead: In a story that explores Gwyn's first love, Crielle is there as a forbidding, tormenting figure, ruling Gwyn's life with an invisible, oppressive kind of terror.

The Curse: The only story which features Crielle's perspective, we see her as a child, a teenager, an adult, and learn about her dangerous proclivities, how her family did and didn't deal with them, and the depth of her love for a select few people, a love that she gave to Gwyn right up until the moment he was born.

Fae Tales – Alternative Perspectives: Crielle is only here briefly, but we see more of her dialogue with Gwyn, and more of Augus' perspective about her.

Underline the Black: Crielle here emerges as a cruel villain to Efnisien, in a flipped/reversed narrative where Gwyn is her beloved child, and Efnisien is nothing more than a neglected science experiment. Efnisien's life is at the mercy of Crielle's whims, and she puts him first in Hillview (an institution) to put him out of sight and out of mind, but as soon as he causes too much trouble for her, she won't hesitate to strike him down.

The Spoils of the Spoiled: In which Crielle even in the human world as a human herself proves that she can be just as evil as ever. Ruler of the household, torturer of Gwyn (and later, we learn, Efnisien), and clearly involved in corruption and organised crime, Crielle lives her best life in this story until Gwyn tries to legally emancipate himself from the family.

Falling Falling Stars: In the follow up to The Spoils of the Spoiled, Efnisien - previously thought of as the beloved and protected 'adopted' child of Crielle's - reveals over time the verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse he suffered at her hands through therapy sessions with Dr Gary. Over time, we realise that no one is safe from her influence.

Crielle is very 'classically' beautiful, with blonde hair that has a slight wave in it, that generally falls down to her shoulders. She has azure eyes, a shade of blue almost never found among humans (even when she's human). She wears only enough make-up to accentuate her eyes and perfect lips, and maintains a very 'natural' effect to her beauty. It looks effortless and perfect enough that many who are experienced with beauty routines know she puts a lot of time into her appearance.

Crielle is asexual, sex repulsed, and aromantic.

Crielle is common fae, and while she's affected by the curse that Olphix cast upon the family, I like to think she'd still be pretty awful.

Born into a family in which some members are predisposed to sociopathic behaviour, Crielle was one of the worst and was not encouraged by her parents to be the way she is. Many people assume that she was abused into her evilness, but she wasn't.

To me, the concept or alienness of someone who is as evil as Crielle simply because she was 'born that way' is very fascinating to me.

Incredibly intelligent and perceptive, her few weaknesses are around the (few) people she loves and the way she will indulge them, as well as anything that threatens her reputation.

In Game Theory, when we finally realise that she is at the centre of Gwyn's devotion, standing there watching his humiliation, reacting in disgust to being called 'Mama' in a moment of vulnerability from her own son.

In Falling Falling Stars, Efnisien calls Crielle, and it becomes quickly clear that she holds no love in her heart for Efnisien when she calls him a 'ghost' and reminds him that ghosts are very easy to kill, making it clear she still wants him dead, and only inertia/disinterest is keeping her from following through because she'd already killed him once.

Always really fucking evil and irredeemable.

Frankly dies a lot.

Always a bit of a mad chemist. In Fae Tales she is a literal chemist and inventor of many different poisons. This has carried over even in to her human incarnations where in the Spoils universe she uses her knowledge of science to cultivate, create, or acquire poisons and viruses and bacteria to insert into Gwyn's food. And carries even more strongly into the Underline universe, where she runs one of the most successful synthetic hormone companies in Australia.

Visibly stunning.

Cares a great deal about reputation.

Usually loves Efnisien. Underline is the first series that has flipped the narrative so that Gwyn is beloved and Efnisien is loathed.

Kind of disdains her husband, who has no power over her.

Crielle is a real figure in Welsh mythology, though she was never meant to be an evil figure. Nor is she Gwyn's mother in the mythology. A sign of just how intensely I've bastardised everything for my own purposes.

She is good friends with the Ratcatcher of Hameln.

I wanted Crielle to be an example of how you can't expect that someone perfectly beautiful is a good person. I also really wanted to write a woman villain. I felt like a lot of woman villains at the time that I was seeing or reading were often written as petty or just in ways that made them somehow 'weak.' The appeal of Crielle is that she's an extremely effective villain and the only thing that stops her is her death (with the exception of Falling Falling Stars).

Despite how awful she is, I really love her! I'd write her more, but she's too strong and powerful lmao and she ruins my character's lives too much.

Crielle's colours for me have always been cream, yellow, white and blue. It's hard to imagine her wearing anything else.

‘How perfectly disgusting,’ Crielle purred. ‘A little worm has learned how to use the phone. I thought I had a caterpillar once, that would turn into the most beautiful butterfly, but it turns out the only thing my sister’s loins are good for, are despicable little worms.’ ‘D-Do you hate me now?’ Efnisien whispered. Crielle laughed lightly. ‘Oh, oh, my darling, I don’t hate you.’ A moment of hope, strong and bright, a sudden dawn inside of him. ‘I feel nothing for you. As far as I recall, I killed my nephew, and you are nothing more than a ghost.’

Falling Falling Stars

#birthday spotlight #crielle ferch fnwy #falling falling stars #fae tales verse #fae tales #fantasy #original writing #original work #writing villains #fantasy writing #i love crielle so much honestly #she's the worst #i don't love her in a 'she's great i want to spend time with her' way #but in a 'she's such a robust #and strong and effective villain' kind of way #i can always trust that she will thoroughly fuck shit up in any scene she appears in #and also frequently posthumously as well

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