#i just like being comfortable lmao why is that weird
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“How can art be sexually deviant? Art is art.” Desmond argues, sounding like an excuse even to his ears.
From @shepardking
Lmao just imagining Ezio coming into Desmond's estate like "WHERE IS MY RECRUIT?!" Only to see the recruit being treated by a doctor and Desmond "gone". Ezio interrogates all the staff but no one says anything...but the cook is suspicious as hell and Ezio thinks he knows something... meanwhile Desmond was just trying to make something to eat 😭 can't a man feed himself without everything crashing down around him??? Because while Ezio would have a general idea of what Desmond looks like because of rumors and descriptions, but people exaggerate and Renaissance Italian people of high society will DEFINITELY do that. So Ezio only has the fact that the cook glows bright golden to go on, and that's not a lot to figure out why. Does he have information? A rich man would never cook his own food after all
You know what would be funny? If Ezio met Desmond before when he sneaked into Desmond’s villa to check if this supposed sexual deviant lord is any danger.
He and Desmond, who he believed to be a chef, hit it on and he believes said chef when he described his ‘lord’ as a bored rich idiot who wants to fuck around with the Borgias.
Now, Ezio is on a warpath and Desmond prefers to wear comfortable simple clothes and has been ‘recruited’ to find said sexual deviant lord and the missing recruit.
Which leads to…
Tags from @wisecloudnightmare
#the snort i let out 😂 #oh my god just imagine walls upon walls of gay porn that ezio will see when he barges in to the Miles Manor #just. everything Desmond does will only make ezio misunderstand more #like with des' fondness of ezio #ezio probably thinks it's because he was the first person to ever openly accused des to be deviated. make des go #“hmm. interesting ;)” like those old school shoujo male lead #des sees him trying to put distance between them and doubles down on (what he thinks are) his “suspiciously friendly rich man” gestures #to keep ezio away but... why does everyone looks at him like that? he had seen ezio and leo hug in public! it's not that weird! #assassin's creed #desmond miles #ezio auditore #cool au
Ezio doesn’t just misunderstand Desmond’s fondness for him, he misunderstand Desmond’s fondness for Leonardo as well and even how close they are.
Good news! Ezio now knows Leonardo is gay.
Sorta bad news! Ezio now believes Desmond and Leonardo are having a secret relationship. He doesn’t know what a sugar daddy is but that’s what he believes Desmond is to Leonardo.
From @thedragonqueen1998
The mental images of the "borgia men getting fucked in the ass" paintings is fucking sending me. XD Historians are definetly gonna love the sexual deviant Lord Miles.
“There are many historians who theorize that the evilest and scandalous stories about the Borgias were created by their enemies except for one. Only known as the Sexual Deviant Lord from Spain, this eccentric rich lord preferred to insult the Borgias by having them engage in homosexual acts of sex in the background of famous pieces of arts. His commissions alone proved to be more effective in making other people believe that the Borgias are sinful sexual deviants themselves.”
From @lorena12me
Ezio *dramatically kicks in the door*: Stop right there, Lord Miles!!! Desmond: Wait a minute, man who I definitely don't know. Leonardo Da Vinci is painting my fursona... and Cesare Borgia getting fucked in the ass.
“Of course, my fursona is not going to fuck Cesare Borgia. Leonardo, my dear…”
“I will paint the most grotesque anatomically accurate mangy dog, my lord.”
“Thank you.”
(sorry in advance, I've been stewing over this for so long that this will be a long one xd)
I was re-reading your fics on ao3 again (sue me, im starved for desmond time travel content) and whilst reading Eagle of Alamut's description i realised '...wait a damn minute, it is true! all of Desmond's knowledge on past is from his ancestors!' (not everyone is as big of a nerd as shaun). Cue weeks of relentless daydreaming over Desmond in Reneisance Italy trying his damnest to lay low... but: 1) he does not know what is socially acceptable at the time (clothe and behaviour wise)
2) the animus likely shielded it's users from the more... er.. unsaviory historical accuracy (child marriage, smell, violence and mistreatment towards the poor, women, disabled)
3) politics, culinary arts, medicine and money value from that era are not common knowledge (or even fully known to todays historians)
4) Ezio was not known for his subtility...
...so while desmond may know who to strike in order to protect Ezios family from getting executed, what places he may know to avoid if he wants to avoid attention from the italian brotherhood.
He does not know what he was getting himself in to when he decided to travel back in time.
I can just imagine him thinking that he can finally retire and live his life, but then BOOM here comes the shock of sociatal injustices! religious violence! inequality! horrendous mistreatment of beggars and disabled people! and as a good man raised in the 21st century he obviously can't, in his right conciousness, just turn his back on these issues, on these people.
So here he is, in Rome of all places, doing his best to atleast stay hidden from the Auditore's, and consequesntly, the Italian brotherhood's, detection, as he stalks the bright rooftops of Roma as histories (probably) very first assasin turned vigiliante!
I can just picture him at one point or another, getting mistaken for a Spanish assasin and his only attempt at 'confirming' (read: encouraging misleading rumours), is to use the very little languistic knowledge the American education system has bestowed upon him. cue him very awkwardly trying to immitate a Spanish accent/ speak in Spanish. or just, you know, say the only words every student knows, 'Feliz Navidad'.
It would be so funny if Desmond’s Spanish are based on:
1) what little remains of Ezio’s Spanish (maybe on par or even worse than his French)
2) Basic Spanish that he learned on the Farm
3) Spanish songs he heard
So people think that Desmond is eccentric.
And Rich.
Because Desmond wants to help people but he doesn’t want to be seen as an Assassin so…
He becomes a supposed rich Spanish (Arabic would have sent a red flag to the Brotherhood) noble who came to Rome to live a life away from his ‘family’.
Why is he ‘rich’?
Well, killing nobles and other ‘evil doers’ will flag the Brotherhood as well so it would be better to just…
Leave certain incriminating evidence in the doors of their enemies and let them duke it out. Hey, if some things go missing while they’re too busy with their enemies, that’s just collateral damage.
Also…
Sometimes, things go missing when some people get into accidents.
It’s easy to buy the impoverish area in Rome. It’s a bit challenging to get doctors to treat them.
Until Desmond flashed the right amount of money, of course.
Desmond manages to stay under the radar by being part of the upper echelon.
An eccentric foreigner who helps the poor and sick out of the goodness of his heart.
Or… because he apparently believes that the way to heaven is through good will and not… paying the clergy.
Desmond knows that being seen as completely good is a bad thing as well so he lets rumors spread that he’s an opportunist who heals the sick and protects the weak to receive their loyalty. He gives them salary to become his guards (not that he needs any) and people whisper how loyal the poor are to someone who gives them bread.
And to hammer in that “no, Ezio, I am absolutely not connected to the Templars BUT I’m also not going to be a good ally, just leave me alone!” plan he has, he becomes a patron of the art.
Sexually progressive art.
The church hates him but tolerates him because Desmond does ‘donate’ (jokes on them, he donates what he stole from the church) and the artists love him because he commissions stuff with the same thing over and over again “whatever you want to paint/sculpt/work on but I want the Borgia men getting fucked in the ass while Lucrezia Borgia watches”
He’s not rich enough to actually be a threat (especially after Ezio starts wrecking shit up) and he keeps to himself most of the time.
But, of course, life always has it out for Desmond and he comes face to face with a wounded recruit at the edge of his property and…
Well…
He only wanted to heal him then send him on his merry way.
He didn’t expect Ezio to come barging in thinking said recruit has been kidnapped by the eccentric ‘possibly sexual deviant’ Lord Miles.
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NGL some of the straight up rude and borderline ableist things I've heard people say, just since I moved up north, about being intolerant of the cold is just. Baffling to me. Like. What does my boss gain from bitching at me for not wanting to wait outside when it's frostbite weather. What does my coworker gain from flaunting their apparent ability to wear shorts when it's 10 degrees outside. Does it feel good to shit on people for their weather preferences? Idgi cause as someone who is generally comfortable and relaxed in 80+ degree weather I've never found it necessary to shit on someone for not liking it. And I've never just walked around in a hoodie during the summer and been like, "oh hehe u loser WIMPS can't do this cause u SUCK cause u can't handle the warm weather" i just truly. I don't understand. Why is liking the cold a personality trait???? Help me understand cause I am struggling rn.
#like literally my arthritic ass is in severe pain during the cold weather regardless of whether im wearing extra sweaters#and even if i didnt have joint and muscle issues it's just. rude? to be like 'oh ill open the door now since u CANT wait'#no sir i cannot wait. despite what you seem to believe ...the human body is not meant to hang out in freezing weather#particularly mine.#even as someone from a place with very hot and dry summers i just. simply dont consider it something worth bragging about#i just like being comfortable lmao why is that weird
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You know, I feel like other trans people might get this, but it's honestly kind of refreshing when a cis person has, like, undeniable tboy/tgirl/whatever swag. It's like when you come across somebody who speaks the same language as you and you only find out when they start speaking it, too.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#all this to say that we are existing on a rock hurling through space#and this universe is going to collide into another and does it all truly matter in the end?#a lot of this is based on ideas we have about what constitutes certain people and i think it can be a fun observation#so long as you do not inherently ascribe certain traits as being indicative of who somebody Is#it can be amusing when you're SO confident that somebody is a certain way until you realize how Wrong you were#the amusement for me only comes because it's like... 'you tried your best to box somebody and you FAILED lmao'#and in a weird way it's kind of comforting because it reminds me that we all come into this world with bias that Will be challenged...#...so the best thing you can do is recognize those biases and then try to overcome them through great effort...#...so yes maybe i did think that cis dude had tboy swag but. that's not inherently his problem you know?#it probably just means he's confident in his manhood in a way that reminds me of the trans men* i know and love#i noticed that in him and it reminded me of my friends who are trans so i think 'oh! maybe that's why he's giving off those vibes!'#so while i won't treat him any differently before or after finding out i was wrong i'm still going to appreciate the fact that...#...he and i are literally just Vibing on the same planet and we both don't have time for petty arguing about manhood#i'll acknowledge what inspired those thoughts in me but that is Not his problem and that's good and beautiful actually#i don't always mind the tboy/tgirl swag meme just so long as you don't treat it like an Inherent Trans Experience Only Trans People Have#just recognize where those ideas are inspired from and it's fine <3#sometimes you will be Wrong and that's actually fucking neutral <<3#anyway rant over i just think this is /generally/ harmless and fun#like astrology. sometimes you just look up your star sign without ascribing your Entire Life to it <3#i think what i lot of people mean by saying a cis person has tboy/tgirl swag is just that...#...that cis person has an understanding of themself that comes from deep introspection that isn't necessarily expected of cis folk...#...but it is often something trans people do as part of our exploration of gender...#how is this the FIRST POST to reach tag limit... ask me for more thoughts if you want lol!
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#Reds such a unique and sad character to me#No matter what he does he is in a loop somehow. both actually and mentally.#He wants change - but he's afraid of it - But he NEEDS it - but its too scary.#He wants to be normal - But normal is boring - But its safe.#Too weird for people - too normal for freaks.#He Likes those two - But getting attached hurts. - But he truly does love them - But what if hes the issue? what is HE hurts them.#and thats why i think transport was such a big turning point. because he does hurt them#He tries his best and does what he thinks will be best.#him being alone so he issnt an “Issue”#And them being happy and healthy in a place where thier needs are met. and they dont have to be scared anymore.#but he fails and he hurts them.#His torture here is feeling helpless and whenever he tries it fails to the point he feels awful.#He has such complex and battling emotions they loop in his head over and over. too the point he cant do anything#thus making him a neutral character.#But neutral issnt a Good thing#Yes he doesnt hurt anything. But he doesnt help or comfort either#He is in a loop inside and out.#Hes drowning.#SIIIGHH sometimes it hurts understanding him /hj. (i know theres like a gigillion ways to interpret him lmao.}#im actuly kinda sad i havent seen anyone else have the idea of him being torn apart inside and anxious tho.#or that he sees himself as a big monster. maybe even due to him leaveing before (trying to help but failing again)#or that hes easy to manipulate. thus creating danger for the other two.#But im just yapping and making a comic based on my thoughts :]#(as ive been a lil mentally ill about string man lately.#dhmis#dhmis red guy#dhmis fanart#dhmis comic#dont hug me im scared
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!
like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.
so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.
#gav gab#im so tired of seeing people do this lmao#is someone actually being reductive and trying to get your ship labeled ‘basically incest’#or did they just express on their own blog that they don’t ship something bc they see those characters as siblings#so it feels weird to them#you know#the exact personal preference and interpretation you’re expressing in the opposite#it’s all ‘UGH not every relationship NEEDS A SPECIFIC LABEL’ as soon as the label isn’t romantic lmao#like amazing of you to start caring about how friendship matters as is legitimate without anything else#as soon as it’s not about your fucking ship anymore :)#be real you do not care about friendship lmao you can just dismiss it more easily and comfortably#when people aren’t using terms that are more loaded to your ship#are the big meanie found family enjoyers actually harassing you for shipping fake incest#or are you just uncomfortable when it is not about you#and chronically unwilling to curate your experience the way you demand other people to#because fandom has always catered to shipping and why should it ever Not be expected to do that#bc I sure see a lot of shit talking of familial dynamic labels based on people who use those labels being weird to other people#and not a lot if any of those people actually being weird to shippers#and one or two isolated incidents is not indicative of a widespread problem#do what everyone who doesn’t like a popular ship does and unfollow and block lmfao grow up
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I get the urge to reread the hunger games approximately once a year is that weird or…
#me#personal#here’s why it might be weird#those books are viscerally upsetting to me lmao#they’re such a good commentary on war and grief and loss and society#maybe it’s because I want to be upset at a fictional world instead of the real one#even though the real world is a little too close to that fictional one#maybe I just like the writing style#maybe I like being sad but like. comfortably sad#idfk man I always resist the urge but now that I have my hardbacks I’m like…👀
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Replaying Life is Strange in celebration of this week being Day For Day a match to the original game's 5 episodes. Losing my shit when I see the blorbos on the screen for the first time in forever. All is well with the world
#bulletbilltime rambling#life is strange#finished ep 1 last night and gonna start ep 2 soon#it's wild how I've spent nearly 2 years being extremely unwell about a game I played like... once??#(and was initially kind of warm on bc true colors was just the superior experience for me)#there's something comforting about finally replaying it again though#although I won't lie these goobers are saying some weird things#like why is max antivaxx??#and why is chloe talking like she came right out of that bojack horseman women gun control episode sfhsjfksl#but it's okay I still love them anyway <3#idk why rachel hasn't officially shown up yet tho like she's an integral part of the amberpricefield canon (joke)#they must be building up suspense for the moment where she shows up and they all fall in love! 🙃#also I could feel my brain having to adjust bc my memory of chloe's voice was a bit deeper than she actually is#but it's fun bc now I can actually hear her lines way better in fanfics when I read them#and it just makes the ones where they get her character right hit even better lmao#OK enough rambling onto ep 2!
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Off Track Pace | MV1 , ?
Ships Max Verstappen x presenter! Reader , ? x presenter! Reader , Platonic! Charles Leclerc x presenter! Reader
Genre : Fluff , Angst
Sub tags : mutual pinning , She fell too early , He fell too late,
Summary : A new f1 presenter and journalist has entered the paddock and she brings chaos along the way. And as competition looms , will the current Champion be as fast outside the track?
Face claim: Sofia Wylie
A/N : I’m so sorry luvs! I’m working on updating Clash of Champions , i promise ~ it’s my uni’s finals exams so I gotta focus on that first… so here’s a peace offering.
Part 2.
Media day, usually on a Thursday — a day that most Formula 1 drivers dread. A day where cameras followed their every move, interviews with journalists that twisted their every word and silly PR stunts forced on them by their teams. It used to be just all racing and winning podiums, but modern Formula 1 is all about media politics and sponsorships.
If you were to ask any driver on the grid if they were given the chance not to do PR, they would say yes to skipping it. But not everything about media day is horrendous.
Not when a new motorsports journalist joins the paddock that was an absolute sweetheart and delight to have around. A natural on the job — she always made sure that every driver that she interviewed was comfortable and enjoying their time with her and the segment.
the.Y/N
liked by skysportsf1 , lissiemackintosh, f1 , and 689,270 others
the.Y/N first day on the job? . i’m not nervous, you are! (She said literally shaking)
skysportsf1 Welcome to the team Y/N! ❤️
the.Y/N thank you kind employers. 🤍
lissiemackintosh Babe!! It’s finally official. Congratulations!
the.Y/N Thanks to you Babe!! I swear I would’ve been lost without you 😭
User1 who is she?
the.Y/N literally no one
User2 Ohhhh a new commentator? 🤔
User3 maybe she’s a journalist?
scuderriaferrari the kids had fun. They want their clay statues on display!
User2 Clay statues?? Hello?? Wut?
User3 Same question, Clay statues??
the.Y/N wait and see 🤷♀️ , the interview would drop tomorrow? Maybe~
User4 Its her first day and she literally had an interview with Charles and Carlos in Ferrari???
the.Y/N well no , the first interview was with Lewis Hamilton … so. 🤭
User5 WHAT?? Ok , queen slay!
User4 damnn , imagine being new to your field and already interviewing the big guys.
mclaren Do us next please 🙋♂️
redbullracing get in line!
the.Y/N gotta stop by Aston first , sorry besties.
User6 OK WHAT IS HAPPENING, ms. Y/N who are your connections 😭 i want in.
User7 why are all the teams here??
Y/N L/N was the F1 presenter and journalist who put drivers willingly out of their comfort zones and made them try something new. You genuinely loved what you do and you were passionate about it. You never showed partiality among the drivers, you treated everyone with the same attitude — this earned the respect of all drivers on the grid.
You were quickly becoming a paddock favorite. The fans enjoyed the content you put out and the drivers looked forward to your interview when they saw your name on their schedule.
Interviewing with you usually meant cheat meals and unusual activities that you thought they would like.
the.Y/N
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 740,155 others
the.Y/N maybe bowling isn’t the best idea. @charles_leclerc you suck, ngl. New vid out on Monday at the sky sports channel🤍
charles_leclerc i hate you ❤️
the.Y/N no you don’t 😌
charles_leclerc no, i don’t
User1 I love their dynamic so much!! I need more of the Paddock siblings pleaseee
User2 I can’t wait for more of Y/N bullying Charles into weird things and Ferrari doing nothing about it🤣
landonorris but why is charles in a cowboy costume?
the.Y/N i dunno? He just showed up in that 🤷♀️
charles_leclerc You told me we were riding horses and you wanted me to wear smth cowboy!!
the.Y/N oh yeah! Lmao
landonorris should i feel bad?
the.Y/N Nope. He’s happy either way. Aren’t you @charles_leclerc?
User2 NOT THE LMAO . Y/N thank you being you
User3 Y/N giving us Cowboy Charles , yes ma’am
User3 JUST DATE ALREADY!
the.Y/N EW. No
charles_leclerc Ok , the ew was unnecessary. But same. No thanks :)) i’m not dating my sister .
User4 Charles call y/n his sister 🥺
However, No matter how much you tried to keep things professional by being just a driver: journalist, something your boss commented during a quick meeting because fans kept shipping you with every driver. What you found weird is that most drivers you see as older brothers and some even uncles (don’t tell Nando). Plus most of them had girlfriends!
Nevertheless, your relationship with them seems to always end up with them hanging around your office at Sky, whenever they are free. Even the older drivers like Nando, Lewis and even Nico and Kevin use your office as an escape from the chaos of their motorhomes.
You didn’t mind hosting the older drivers in your room, as they were usually tame and kept to themselves as they read the books on your shelves in peace. They usually plop themselves down your couch and place the oversized plush you always bring on their lap. They always brought you snacks, so you looked forward to the times when their heads popped in your door and asked if they could come in.
But when the younger drivers visit your office? And if they came in groups — which they usually do. Oh boy, it was either a clusterfuck of them stealing snacks from your secret stash or your office becoming a den for hot gossip in the paddock usually led by the one and only Charles Leclerc.
Case in point. You now have Charles, Carlos, Max and to your surprise Checo in your office. The older Spanish-speaking driver was a rare visitor, but a welcome one nonetheless.
But considering the topic in discussion, you understood the presence of the two Red Bull drivers.
You were in the middle of typing away on your laptop when suddenly they barged in with ice cream tubs and spoons at hand then found a spot to sit and made themselves comfortable.
“Is Newey leaving Red Bull?” Charles asked Max and Checo, as he scooped a bite from his ice cream.
“We have no clue! Christian is saying nothing to us. Nothing” Max exclaimed exasperated as Checo nodded in agreement.
“So Adrian Newey is moving to Ferrari?” You questioned as you pointed your spoon at Charles
“Y/N, I love you like a sister and I know that you’re incredibly smart, but sometimes you are stupid. We’re clueless in Ferrari, hence my question ”
You threw your wooden spoon at the Monaco-born Ferrari driver. Which he easily avoided thanks to his fast reflexes. Freaking f1 reflexes!
“ I wasn't the person who got named for being stupid— HEY! Max give that back!! You don't even like salted caramel” You were trying to rebut Charles’ insult but were distracted when Max took your ice cream for himself.
Max just shrugged and placed his half-consumed chocolate brownie fudge ice cream in your hands — his spoon still in it. You didn’t complain further as you took his spoon and took a bite yourself. Yum! Brownie fudge is your favorite.
“Dude, what is even going on inside Red Bull? What was Horner under investigation for?” Carlos pressed on, trying to find answers. You were curious yourself
“Everyone is being weird. They’re keeping things from us. “ Checo added. You knew that they were truly left in the dark because if they knew they would’ve spilled instantly. NDAs be damned.
“Every interview, people keep asking if we know something! one more journalist and I swear I’ll run them over with my car! I hate each one of them” Max grumbled to himself.
You coughed. You knew that you were an exception but you couldn’t help but mess around with your friends.
“Don’t even, Y/N. You know you don’t count. “ Max waved you off.
“Wow! Thank you for that babe. Way to make a girl feel special” you said jokingly to the Dutch driver, as you winked dramatically. To which he only rolled his eyes — making you and the rest of the drivers laugh.
Max was immune to your flirting, unfortunately. It sucked especially when you had a tiny …. Ok big … HUGE crush on the 3 time world champion.
Max to you was like an Older brother’s best friend — Where you were the little sister crushing on him and you didn’t have a chance. You knew that like the other drivers, he just saw you as a little sister. But still you couldn’t help but fall the star driver of Red Bull.
Everything started when you brought your niece to the paddock because your sister had an emergency. You were scheduled to interview Checo in the RB motorhome and your niece was starting to feel fussy and you were slightly panicking on what to do— when Max suddenly came to your rescue and took your niece out to ice cream.
You admit you found Max attractive even before— like so damn attractive, but that was it— nothing more. But when you found Max carrying your niece in his arms as they played inside his garage, you knew that you were a goner to the charms of Max Verstappen.
You have been pinning for Max for a year now. You wished that you had the confidence and courage to just confess. But the fear of rejection freighted you, so you settled to just keep your friendship with the devastatingly handsome Red Bull champion.
As time went on, and nothing but friendship between you and Max developed — You’ve come to terms with the process of letting go of your feelings. Even when you’ve already met his mom and sister, hung out in his yacht and spent nights over his place when movie nights with Charles and his girlfriend went too late. You knew not to think anything of it.
And you were right to think nothing of it. Because not a week later, rumors had spread all over the paddock that Kelly Piquet had set her eyes on Max. You didn’t believe it at first, but when you saw with your own two eyes them engaged talking happily in his garage. The sparkle in Max’s eyes had solidified your will to move on.
A few weeks had passed and Kelly’s presence was constant in the paddock. Everyone had speculated that she had become Max’s girlfriend. But no one was sure, not even you — Max had been silent about it.
You tried to be happy for them you did. But you can’t blame yourself for wishing that it was you instead. Even to this day, you are still trying to forget and bury your feelings for Max.
“Y/N? Y/N? Oi Y/N” You suddenly were startled out of your thoughts. You forgot that you were still with the drivers in your office.
“What? Sorry, I just remembered something. What did you say?” You asked Charles as he was the one who called you.
“I asked if you had an interview today” Upon hearing the words of the Monegasque, your eyes grew wide as you remembered that you did have a job to do and you were indeed almost late.
“SHIT! I DO I’m late! “ You suddenly sprang up from your seat and quickly gathered the things you needed — while the 4 drivers looked at you with amusement.
“Who’s scheduled for you today, Y/N?” Max had also sat up from his seat and gave you an opened bottle of water.
You received the bottle from Max. You didn’t have to thank the driver — just one look from you and he knew.
The other drivers looked amongst themselves as they saw your exchange with Max. Everyone had a knowing look on their faces.
“I'm going to Mclaren today! I have the whole day with Lando. “ You said as you closed your once abandoned laptop and placed it in your bag — the one Max gave you on your birthday.
“What have you planned for Lando, Y/N?” Checo asked curiously. He still remembered his interview where you both made bracelets and stuffed toys for his daughters — his daughters loved it and went to sleep with it every single day.
“Oh! I’m taking Lando to a rage room, then drive-thru for food.” You explained happily to the older Mexican driver.
“Which part of that is the interview?” Charles had interjected
“While we eat the food in the parking lot, duh,” You said as if they should’ve already known. Well, they should by now.
“You know Y/N, Lando likes you right? ” Carlos had suddenly dropped a bomb on you. You didn’t expect it at all.
“What?” Max had suddenly said — catching all of you off guard. You didn’t understand, why Max had reacted so suddenly. But you pushed that aside for now as you continued to stuff everything you need in the bag
“What do you mean, Lando likes me?” You asked Carlos, with your eyebrows scrunched together.
“He likes you. Like you know? Take you out on dates and all that” Carlos replied as he gauged your reaction.
“Ohhhh, that’s cute! how did you even know about it, Carlos” you asked not taking any of it seriously.
“Cute?” You heard Max muttered under his breath.
“He told me. I won’t spoil anything else. I’m not even supposed to say that he likes you, but oh well.” Carlos shrugged as he finished off his ice cream.
“What do you think about Lando?” Charles suddenly asked you. The Ferrari driver leaned forward
“Will you date him if he asks you ?” Checo then joined the conversation.
“ You should say yes, I mean you two are the same-“ Charles had suddenly grown excited.
“Ok whoa, calm down dads. He hasn’t asked anything yet! “ you exclaimed
“But will you say yes if he asked?” Max then asked you, his eyes piercing your soul. After all of the other questions, Max was the one to Catch you off guard.
“Uh yes, I guess? I mean, why not? Lando is fun And he is single right … ” You were panicking so you said yes, even when you knew that you weren’t ready for anything like that since you still held feelings for Max.
“ YES! I thought that you-“ Charles wasn't able to finish his sentence when you cut him off.
“OK, bye guys! See you later. I need to go!” And just like that you were gone, leaving the four drivers in your office — not letting them question you further.
“I swear, that kid is weird.” Charles shakes his head from side to side at your actions.
“Lando likes Y/N?” Max had asked again just to make sure that he had heard the Spaniard correctly.
“ Lando is a good kid. They’ll make a good couple, no?” Checo asked no one in particular, as Max was not moving from where you left him.
“Wait, wait… since when did Lando like Y/N?” Max asked confused, looking green with jealousy. Fingers tingling as they clenched on itself
“Well he was interested in Y/N since the beginning but he backed off since everyone thought that you two had a thing” Carlos explained as he stood up and went to raid your snack stash.
“Yeah, but now you’re with the daughter of Piquet. what’s her name again? KELLY! yes, kelly. So Lando is taking his shot” Charles added
“You knew? Charles, you knew about Lando?” Max was aghast at the knowledge that was just receiving now.
“Well yeah? I was the one to encourage him to ask Y/N out. ” Charles shrugged nonchalantly. He knew about your feelings for the Red Bull driver, but he also saw how hurt you were when Max started seeing Kelly out of nowhere. Charles wanted to help his friends — specially the ones that he grew to love like his own sibling in any way that he could. Plus it was time for Y/N to have fun, and Lando Norris is exactly that.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Max was conflicted. His emotions growing uncontrollably by the second.
“ Mate, we haven’t seen you for how many weeks! You were always out with your new girlfriend. Even Y/N had no contact with you “ Carlos explained to Max.
silence filled the room, when suddenly pings of notifications sounded all over the rooms.
And Charles couldn’t help but whistle.
“Well he sure does move past” he had added.
Your story
As Max looked at his phone. Your Ig story flashed. His heart had started to hurt and the feeling of a pit in his stomach grew. it was as if someone punched him right in the gut.
And another notification ping had popped . And it only made Max’s stomach churn even further.
landonorris
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#red bull racing#mclaren#max verstappen#f1 fic#formula 1 fic#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fic#ln4 imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#mv1 fic#mv1 x you#mv1 imagine#charles leclerc#cl16 x you#mclaren formula 1#ferrari#lando norris x you#lando x reader#lando imagine#max verstappen x you#cl16 x y/n#f1 grid x reader
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"my girlfriend's a nerd" ft. the monster trio!
self explanatory self-indulgent drabbles to soothe my book!loving ass
ft. luffy, zoro and sanji x fem! reader set-up: you like books, he likes you that's it warnings: none lmao this is very sfw. one might call it wholesome even. m.list
luffy:
thats my baby ^^
— im not even sure if this mf can read 😭😭
— honestly 9/10 chance he can't but when has that ever stopped him from being our most supportive himbo king
— go king give us everything!!
— he doesn't get why you read books when instead you can be like sleeping or eating or looking at the sea but well, he doesn't question it
— he just thinks it's a weird hobby you have (i don't think he's aware of how freakishly illiterate he is)
— but just cause he thinks it's weird that doesn't mean he wouldn't hug you half-asleep when he hears you sobbing into the dead of the night or he wouldn't listen with keen interest when you explain the plot of your favourite book as he wraps his arms around you and hums into your hair
— will 100% offer to fight the author/ tear up the book everytime he sees you having a breakdown over a particular scene/character
"who should I kill?!" the deadpan seriousness in his voice is what terrifies you
"nobody! I'm okay–"
— after you explain to him that hurting somebody is not necessary and you're fine, he will try to coddle you with extended hugs and food (lots and lots and lots of food).
"yn you should eat something! should I get you something to eat??" you can hear the panic in this poor boys voice 😭😭
"no luffy, its okay. im fine!" you say through sniffs and snorts, eyes bloodshot from crying over ink on paper
"brb" and he gets you dinner enough for 5 people because that's how he knows to comfort you (willingly took sanjis kicks and namis punches to accomplish this mission)
— since he's a clingy little child, he will hold onto you some way or the other when you're reading
— you're reading in your room while he's fast asleep? his arm is draped across your waist lazily. you're on the other side of the deck, sunbathing and reading? his hand is stretched out from where he's sitting and on your thigh (ussop tripped thrice over his hand, rip god ussop 🙏) . you're reading during breakfast cause the book just got so good? his toe is rubbing your calf up and down periodically (he won't stop no matter how many weird looks you give him)
— conclusion: he doesn't at all get it what it is, but if it makes you happy he will spend all the berries in the world to buy you those books (plz know if you actually ask him to jokingly off an author for killing your favourite character, he will do it. please don't ask him that.)
— he's just so supportive and nice 😭😭
"my girlfriends a nerd, I love her" (ussop explained to him what a nerd was and now he's introducing you like this to everybody)
zoro:
the shades tho 😎
— I'm convinced this mf can't read either
— even he can there's like literally no evidence to prove it and the entire crew has come to the conclusion that he gets lost even with clear directions because he just can't read please 😌👌
— at the start, he actually thinks it's dead stupid to invest so much time reading books when you can do other stuff like getting stronger, sleeping, literally doing anything else (luffy backs up his opinion with full enthusiasm)
— i mean like he's seen you sob at 7 in the morning over breakfast cause your fav character died and now he's confused as to why are you spending money and buying books if they make you cry so hard (he doesn't understand the concept of angst im afraid)
— but over time he just accepts it as something you enjoy and well, if it makes you happy then who is he to question it?
— acts like he doesn't care/isn't listening when you're rambling about the plot and how thE MAIN CHARACTER IS IN LOVE WITH HIS ENEMY AND VICE VERSA SKEJFHSJKSN but is actually fully listening
— he's actually invested at one point
"but they are enemies? why does he wanna be with him?"
"you don't get it! thats the appeal!!"
"the appeal is forcing a knife on somebody's throat?" he's laughing, "as if you'd enjoy it if i threatened you with my swords"
"... i would actually enjoy that"
he is now asking nami for loan to send you to a therapist (nami has seen you nosebleed over fictional characters and is considering giving money away to zoro for free. you really do need help.)
— as I said, he's invested now (although he does question your taste every now and then) but he'd force you to either summarize the plot to him as he trains or read out loud so he can hear the story as it goes.
— so naturally you're now sitting on his back, reading out loud as he does push-ups
— this beloved himbo has now formed strong opinions about characters and will battle you with headcanons because "there's no fucking way the hero would ever go back to the villain after that! that's ridiculous! if he does I'll sell my swords off."
— will remember the stuff you told him, no matter how trivial, so if you get off an island and he spots a keychain from your fav book series he's spending whatever money he has left to buy you it
"oh excellent choice! who are you buying it for?" the shopkeeper lady questions aloud
"oh, my girlfriend." he's smiling, "my girlfriends a nerd."
— actually looks forward to you telling him all the plot details and jokes at this point (one might call him a part of the fandom now)
— when you're a crying, sobbing mess because a character died, he's genuinely comforting you (no matter how bad he is at it)
"yn it's okay, you want some sake?" he is hugging you, patting your head like you're a child
"no 😭😭" you sob harder into his chest
"well... that's the best i can offer"
he tried. it's not his fault you don't wanna drink your feelings away.
— conclusion: he started off thinking its stupid and now he's an honorary nerd. would never admit it though. stubborn asshole.
sanji:
he's actually so pretty tho ^^
— he actually liked reading books before you even joined the crew although his tbr consists of cookbooks and auto-biographies about the people he has some interest in
— he started reading so that he could impress zeff with his knowledge on cooking and other miscellaneous stuff (imagine kid!sanji reading a book till late night under a lamp cause he wants to impress his old man that's so cute 😭😭)
— respects your hobbies when he finds out you like reading
— and then he sees your book collection. whY ARE THERE LIKE 5000 BOOKS HERE?! NOW HES SCARED FOR YOUR SANITY CAUSE GIRL WTF
— he hears you recommend a book to robin/nami once and now he's running to the nearest bookstore on the next island you guys land on to buy it
— he obviously did it to impress you and win you over but goddamn that book was actually pretty nice. so, the next time he asks you for recommendations he's actually a bit sincere
— now you're both in a book club of your own (which makes luffy mad cause why are you leaving him out of conversations :/)
— like zoro, he often asks for updates on the book you're currently reading while he cooks everyone food. he loves hearing you talk about the things you like.
— when he sees you crying over books, he is making you sweet stuff to soothe you, holding you and rubbing your back supportingly, peppering kisses to make you feel better
— he's so fine 😫😫
— anyways, also def the kind of person to ask you to roleplay things in real life
"yn-saaaan" his voice is bubbly, "can i ask you something?"
"mhm?"
"the last book you read–" his face is going a little bit red, "you think we can maybe... do that irl?"
now it's your turn to go red
— but no fr, he's so so supportive of your little hobby like yes baby! read those books and have fun imagining people in your head
— 100% matches your vibe when you crush on fictional characters cause "you're right. he is actually very attractive" (a bi king we love)
— once zoro made fun of you for reading and this was his response: "you can't even read, mosshead. the next time you speak shit I'll kick your ass."
"who said I CANT READ? AND AS IF ILL LET YOU KICK MY ASS!"
"I TOTALLY WILL KICK YOUR ASS"
now they are fighting while ussop, luffy and chopper laugh in the background
— but yes he loves staying up late, reading with you before you both cuddle and fall asleep
— you once read about a specific sort of dish in a book and mentioned that it sounds delicious so now obviously he has to go make that dish. it doesn't matter if it's 1 am at night.
— when nami asks him what he's cooking, he just smiles and shrugs, "i dunno either, im just trying to make yn happy. she's such a nerd"
— conclusion: an enabler, an enthusiast. this man is ready to buy you books and then read them if it makes you happy. only the finest for his favourite lady <3
a/n: enjoy my wayward thoughts about these fine men! m.list
#one piece#opla#roronoa zoro#one piece zoro#op#vinsmoke sanji#monkey d luffy#luffy one piece#one piece luffy#one piece sanji#luffy x reader#sanji x reader#zoro x reader#zoro roronoa x reader#roronoa zoro x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#monkey d luffy x reader#one piece men#one piece headcanons#luffy headcanons#zoro headcanons#sanji headcanons#one piece fluff
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dating jason grace would include
• the chivalry radiating off this man is CRAZYY.
• he’s constantly opening doors for you and giving you his hoodie without hesitation.
• after you guys start dating, you’ve never touched a single door handle (that includes car door handles).
• like this man will literally push you back into the car if you try to get out.
• the way he covers the corner of a table with his hand when you bend down!!! (i need me a man like jason fr).
• also, FORGET about getting your own gas too. jason has it covered.
• if you’ve read it in a romance novel, jason has thought of it.
• you know that one tiktok trend where one person tries to switch foods/drinks with their partner? yeah if you ask him he will not hesitate to switch with you. he also shares his food with you with no complaints.
• but he also knows you well enough to get you something to eat even if you say you don't want anything or that say that you're not hungry.
• jason LOVES resting his forehead against yours. it brings so much comfort when when you touch your heads together and close your eyes, being so aware of each other.
• i feel like he radiates a mixture of golden retriever boyfriend and doberman boyfriend.
• he’s VERY protective of you. on and off the battlefield. catching you in his arms when you trip on something or using his body as a human shield to shield you from anything that could harm you.
• he knows you can take care of yourself but he still likes to look out for you. he’s a chronic worrier.
• he is pretty romantic and enjoys meticulously planning dates for you both, such as movie dates, picnics, hiking, and more.
• however, most of your time together is spent working together and training.
• one of his love languages is acts of service. whether it's helping you with chores, surprising you with breakfast in bed, or offering a shoulder to lean on when you're having a bad day, he's always there to support them in any way he can.
• HIM LETTING YOU WEAR HIS GLASSES>>>
• he thinks it’s adorable when you wear them (it also kind of turns him on).
• he's 100% a morning person (due to his militaristic upbringing at camp jupiter). if you're also a morning person, the two of you enjoy going on morning jogs together.
• if you're not a morning person, he'll spend hours admiring you when you're sleeping (not in a creepy or weird way lmao).
• he LOVES coming home to you after a long day to simply melt in your arms. there’s just something so soothing about cuddling with you after a busy day.
• the way you softly run your fingers through his hair as you ask him about his day (it has him giggling and kicking his feet fr).
• tell me why he already has a ring picked out for you? like he definitely didn’t buy it after your first date.
• he's a big reader but sticks with audiobooks (due to his dyslexia) and will read every single book that you read so that he can talk with you about them.
• TRACING HIS LIP SCAR WHEN YOU’RE BORED>>>
• you’re constantly teasing him and making fun of him for it. like who would try to eat a stapler?
• your feet rarely ever touch the ground when you’re with him. this man is always carrying you bridal style and flying you everywhere.
• jason is very patient, he will wait, fight and do whatever is needed for the relationship. even if it means sacrificing his own feelings for yours, he would do it.
• he trusts you to take care of yourself, but he will make sure that he does his part in taking care of you too. <33
#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#pjo hoo toa#pjo fandom#hoo fandom#pjo series#hoo series#pjo x reader#pjo tv show#pjo disney+#jason grace#jason grace fanfiction#jason grace x reader#jason grace x you#jason grace imagine#jason grace smut
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yknow at first i didnt care abt all the people whining abt the new breed but now its like. pissing me off really bad lol
its honestly so telling that people are saying they wanted something "elegant" instead... like, what about these cant be elegant? hm? surely you wouldnt imply that something fat cant be elegant, right??? hrmm
they very easily can look so elegant, honestly. and i also dont get the "well they dont fit the aesthetic of light" bc like. how the hell does coatl look like fire?? how does veilspun look like shadow?! what are you even on about lol
it also just depends on the colors/genes they have, too. i think (despite me not making either light element whoops) both of the above look pretty light aligned.
there's plenty of criticism ive seen that i think is reasonable and i do agree with, of course. i think their legs could be a bit thicker, personally.
now, im not antagonizing people for simply not liking the design. if its not your thing, thats fine. you dont have to like EVERYTHING flight rising does, that would be a weird expectation to have.
but, man. there's like 20 other breeds that arent fat, 2 other that belong to light that arent fat!! you can let us have this, you'll be fine lmao.
i even saw one person imply that the designs felt weird abt fat bellies like it was... perverted or something. why???? just because its fat???
sorry. im just so tired of people trying to pick apart something bc its outside of what they're comfortable with. being fat my whole life ive had to hear abt how im not beautiful/elegant/etc because im fat and some people are reopening those old wounds.
#this is not at any one person directly and especially no one i have seen on tumblr. as a disclaimer.#flight rising#sorry its a long rant but man. MAN.
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Prettiest Bitch
Description: you and Eddie have a special way of showing each other you care.
A/N: this is a real life fucking story of me and my partner lmao. Please like and reblog if you enjoy it sweetheart.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, mean Eddie and mean reader but it's just fun and games, reader is AFAB, female oral receiving.
Masterlist
900 words
Laying on Eddie's sofa, you bask in the warm glow of being near him. Your legs were draped over his as you rifled through a book that you were barely paying attention to. Eddie's hand is up your loose pyjama pants, tracing soft circles on the bare skin of your calf.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah sweets?"
"You've always got to be touching me, don't you."
"Suppose so."
You smirk, pulling his hand out of your pants. He whines like a child that just got his favourite toy confiscated.
"Why?"
"Dunno, I just want your skin."
Laughing loudly, you scoot closer on your knees, just shy of climbing onto his lap.
"You want my skin? That sounds so fuckin' weird."
Eddie drops his voice into an odd gravelly gasp, the one he reserves for goblin NPCs when he's DM.
"Eddie wants it! Give Eddie your skin!"
Before you can react he's pulling you onto his lap, hands wandering up your top and stroking hard at the exposed flesh.
"You dumbass that tickles! Stop!"
"Never!" He doubles down his efforts, lifting your t-shirt and blowing a wet raspberry on your stomach. You try to lean away but he has you trapped.
Finally wiggling from his grasp in a fit of breathless giggles, your rump bumps heavily on the floor.
"You're an idiot, Munson."
"Yeah? Well you like me, so who's the idiot now?"
"Still you!" You flip him the bird and he pokes his tongue out at you at the same time.
Now eye level with the coffee table, a leaflet catches your eye.
"What's this? Hawkins County fair?"
Leafing through it, you hear Eddie's chuckle.
"Yeah, just a bunch of farmers showing off the size of their pumpkins and shit, it's so stupid."
"But look!" You wave the ad in his face as he rolls his eyes.
"Dog show Eddie! Dogs! Look, they've got categories and everything."
He goes to steal it out of your hands but you hold firmly on, reeling off some of the different categories.
"Senior dogs… there's one for puppies that's cute… oh haha look, prettiest bitch! I should enter." You nod at him and his gaze softens, sinking down to join you on the floor.
"Oh sweetheart" his thumb brushes your cheek as you melt under his gaze.
"You're not pretty."
Gasping, your eyes snap back open to see Eddie rolling on the floor gasping with fits of laughter.
"Edward James Munson! Gonna make you regret that!"
You straddle him, fingers digging bruises into his sides, trying desperately to find ticklish spots.
"It was a joke! Come on sweets, you know I'm not ticklish there."
Grinning devilishly, you straddle him backwards, clinging onto his legs like a koala.
"Nope, but you are here!"
Your fingers tickle at his socked feet as he writhes beneath you.
"Fuck, no fair! Stop!"
"Never!" Your relentless onslaught continues.
"I will kick you in the head!"
"Say I'm pretty!"
"Fine! You're pretty, stop, stop!"
You finally relinquish your hold and clamber off him still giggling triumphantly.
"Am I forgiven?"
"Nope. That was really mean Edward." You huff dramatically, folding your arms over your chest.
"Kiss it better?"
You both use that phrase. It started off with kissing your knee when you fell, then you used it to comfort him once when some jocks had been particularly mean to him, then it just melded into your day to day life.
"OK."
His smile is wicked as he pushes you to your back, fingers hooking into your pyjama pants.
"The fuck are you doing?" Gazing down at him, he smiles sinfully as he pulls your pants down in one smooth motion.
"Didn't say where, sweets."
His tongue runs the full length of your pussy and runs around your clit in a smooth circle.
"Fuck, Eddie!" Hands make their way into his unruly curls as he continues his apology, suckling at your clit.
Thick fingers probe your entrance, gliding in to curl in that spot just like you like it.
"Sweetheart, you're the prettiest girl in this trailer."
Not giving in that easily, you pull his hair.
"I'm the only girl in this trailer!"
He laughs and sucks your clit again hard, making your back arch off the floor.
"OK," he practically breathes into your cunt, "the prettiest girl in Hawkins?"
"Better."
"Fine, the prettiest girl in the fucking world."
"OK, oh shit, oh you're forgiven!" Moans replace words as he fucks you hard with his fingers, bringing you closer and closer to release.
"Don't stop, don't stop, I'm gonna come, Eddie!"
He presses the flat of his tongue against your clit hard as you ride his face into a searing wash of ecstasy.
Releasing in a broken scream, you melt into a puddle. Moments later, a very smug Eddie hovers over you.
"You are the prettiest bitch" He says, pressing a soft kiss to your nose.
Too fucked out to argue, you pull him close and hold him. You'll get him back later.
@munson-blurbs @roanniom @eddiesprincess86
#ms gexy writes#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fanfic#eddie x you#eddie munson fluff#eddie fanfic#eddie fan fic
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Okay I'm on my 5th rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives and I have to know if anyone else finds it funny (and a little bit maddening) that in episode 6 when Monty needs help finding his fake ghost friend Gladys it's CHARLES who dismisses him immediately?
Like... they go so far as to make a point of showing us multiple reactions to his dismissal. First Crystal, who has no reason to believe the boys will turn down Monty's case due to Edwin's assumed crush and Charles' people-pleasing nature. She agrees to the case quickly because it's the perfect distraction for the boys and will buy her time to get her powers back... but then, to her shock, Charles turns down the case!! Charles who is all about gentleness and "Bedside manner," who cares deeply about being a "Good guy" and about being liked, the guy plagued with worry about how he is perceived by others and who never wants to disappoint anyone, the guy who is suuuuuper sentimental, protective, has a strong sense of justice, and is notably dedicated to protecting his friends and helping the people he cares about at quite literally any cost.
Even Monty is surprised, too!! It's clear that Monty anticipates Edwin's lingering guilt and old-fashioned sensibilities regarding decorum and conflict avoidance to be enough motivation for him to take on the case, that Edwin would agree just to avoid adding any more animosity or awkward tension to an already delicate situation. Monty had to know, going in, that he really only had to get through to Charles (who he admittedly had neglected in the past and been cold to in previous interactions due to his crush on Edwin). Considering Charles' easy-going nature, this should have been quite easy as Edwin is a much harder person to win over, whereas Charles is quick to see the good in others!! That's why he compliments Charles (despite the sentiment being disingenuous) and contrives a story that, knowing what we all know about the boys by this point, should have struck an emotional chord for Charles especially... BUT IT DOESN'T which is like... very weird!!! It's normal for Edwin to act logically, to put facts over feelings, to "play hardball" as Charles puts it in episode 1. But Charles is emotional, he's compassionate, he's impulsive more times than not, so this is notably weird behavior for Charles!!
BUT THEN it gets even better because Charles is immediately like, "Edwin, you know what I'm saying, right?" He throws the ball to Edwin, expecting Edwin to agree with him - a reasonable expectation as, again, Edwin is the logical one - but then Edwin doesn't agree, he sides with the girls instead and takes on the case for, what we can only assume is an unknown/indiscernible reason to Charles. (Remember, Charles has no clue that Edwin already turned Monty down, and we know he thinks that Edwin has a little crush on Monty at this point as well!!) Charles doesn't push the issue, but it's clear he's not particularly happy... it's hard to nail down what exactly he's feeling (we can't read his mind) but he's clearly feeling some type of way. You can tell by his silence, by the tense, tight-jaw frown and his eyes wandering to the floor that he must have been expecting a different outcome. It felt like he asked Edwin in a way that felt more like he was testing something, like he was hoping for a certain outcome...but WHY???
Well, let's acknowledge the context in which this strange interaction happens. In the same episode we see Charles:
Note how weird/off everyone is behaving specifically after Edwin is awkward with Monty on the roof.
Checking Edwin out, up and down, after Niko tells him he looks good (This is an irrefutable conclusion as he openly comments on Edwin's change of clothes later, so like... he noticed lmao)
Acting colder than he previously has to Monty by the time they get to the tall forest, despite the possibility that Monty may have lost his friend who comforted him after his own near-death experience. (This happens after Edwin agrees to take on the case, btw. Even when Crystal points out that there's an issue between Monty and Edwin, Charles makes no move to inquire, to "fix" it, or to be especially gentle as he normally might.)
Boldly and instinctively reach for Edwin's hand while making pointed, emotional eye contact as a "last act" during their near "death" experience.
And that's not even everything!!! So like... yeah, sure, it could be nothing. It could mean nothing. Allll of this could just be coincidental. Maybe Charles was being logical and responsible for once, maybe he really did just feel like they were already too busy to take on an extra case.
OR, more likely in my personal opinion, HE WAS JEALOUS AS FUCK!!! We know, based on their interaction at the end of the episode, that Charles has always had at least some idea that Edwin is not straight. We know that everyone is convinced Edwin has a crush on Monty. We know that Charles, after meeting Monty for the first time, has an expression of disdain on his face while watching Monty and Edwin interact (when Monty is showing Edwin his astrology chart). We even know that, following this interaction, Charles is frazzled/irritated when he fails to get Edwin's attention away from Monty's astrology book (clearly upset that Edwin's attention is occupied elsewhere and suddenly eager to remind Edwin that the goal is to leave Port Townsend with haste). Monty aside, we're not even getting into the protective and emotional response Charles has at the mere mention of the damn Cat King...
SOOOO TLDR; I've watched this show every day, and the more I watch it the less I can be convinced that Charles is not jealous AF and stupidly, deeply in love with Edwin...even if he isn't aware of it yet. I have no idea why so many people think Charles has 0 romantic interest in Edwin and that he "turned Edwin down completely" on the stairs to hell... because that's simply just not what happened lmao. Seeing the word "queerbait" being attached to these two is giving me whiplash... like that's just not what's happening here. That's not the proper interpretation of the nature of their relationship. I don't think there is any possibility, not a chance in hell, that Charles will not reciprocate Edwin's romantic feelings because he quite literally already does and just doesn't know it yet. There's no other way to interpret the acting choices made (which are brilliant) and the writing choices (which are also brilliant).
Anyway, hopefully that made sense. I just needed to share because I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure going absolutely batshit over this show! 😇
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#dbda#the dead boy detectives#I need this show renewed yesterday I am losing my shit lmao#crystal palace#niko sasaki#monty the crow#monty finch
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MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity
warnings ; language
y/s/n = your ship name
masterlist
TOMMYINNIT
constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone
TommyInnit donated $10!
"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"
only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine
if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you
"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"
after a while he gets invested in the shipping
"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"
"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"
"I found one and it actually looks good!"
reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)
you and Tommy make your own fanfic too
he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀
literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you
such a hopeless romantic
RANBOO
always doing you favors
never saying no to you
"yes sir/maam!"
always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck
it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg
chat always asking where he is during one of said streams
editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them
the chemistry???
you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out
editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo
they do too 😭😭
giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you
he's literally head over heels bruh
gives u free merch and stuff
FREDDIE BADLINU
he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you
claims it's for the bit
lets you dye his hair
ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO
he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off
always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping
always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear
constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys
it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything
the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard
especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo
same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc
editors and fanfic writers have field days with those
just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????
even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing
supports the fanfics
he honestly reads them
if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies
QUACKITY
"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop
qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date
basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp
qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best
cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding
qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy
youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"
and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything
daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"
cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two
fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt preferences#tommyinnit x reader#mcyt x reader#quackity x reader#ranboo x reader#badlinu x reader#mcyt oneshot#tommyinnit#qsmp#osmp
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Astro Observations/Opinions (Vedic Edition) Part Two
Hello Guys! Thank you for the support of my first observation🫶🏾! I APPRECIATE YOU ALL
As an fyi I am not well versed in Vedic too much yet, but I am getting better and better sooo without further do, LETS START HEHE😋
These are based on my perspective of placements and signs, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t🫶🏾 I’d love to hear y’all’s take as well!
1. People with sun nakshatras in their big 3 can be super prideful when it comes down to it. LOL i mentioned in my last post that they can be egoistic, and that’s true but when they are wrong they’re PRIDE HAS NOOO MATCHES. i’m a kritikka sun so i can admit when i’m wrong it be a HIT to my ego but i do my best to apologize. Buttt one thing about a sun ruled person is that THEY LOOK SOO GLAZED IN THE SUN like summer is y’all’s best friend because y’all were born sun kissed.
2. Although I am an ashlesha moon, i can COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why people don’t want to be around us when we’re at our worst (this goes for mercurial people in general imo ( ESPECIALLY jyeshthas and ashleshas but revatis ehhhh it’s a 50/50 chance lol even tho they can be very emotionally immature at times). Like i have an ashlesha sun brother and he is so fucking provoking like he does it for a sport and he’s comfortable uplifting people then shooting them down. He can be very sweet and caring but sometimes his aggression and his bad behavior really does overshadow his good behavior and it’s hard to be around someone who doesn’t give a shit if everyone is on edge around them (lol i have mercury in the 8th house in ashwini so power struggles with siblings is very prevalent ugh). Women can be just as negative and it’s like they get a kick out of it because like i’ve said in a previous post they go off on others and tbh it gives them fuel and a short feeling of superiority because they feel inferior (i keep saying they as if i don’t have an ashlesha moon but tbh i understand).
3. Chitra PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING CREATIVE OMGGGF i’m sooo jealous. like they’re ability to create something out of thin air is FUCKING impeccable. they also have great magnetism and people flock to them easily like dhanisthas. For instance , DOJA CAT omgggg great magnetism (rahu in the 1st gives that hella) and she’s super fucking creative like she writes the majority of songs herself and can produce music like as an aspiring lawyer who’s very interested in singing and songwriting BABES SHE IS one of my inspirations (i also love how weird her music can be). i know the star rules creativity but damn i wish i had it.
4. I’m tired of rahuvians looking like this exact emojis 👁️👄👁️. Like y’all’s eyes POP and like i be feeling like y’all staring at my soul like calm down. I also love how you guys rock eye makeup esp when it makes your eyes look bigger likeeeeeeeee. Speaking of rahuvians, why are ardras lowkey vindictive LMAO like y’all def have a streak of vindictive behavior in y’all.
5. Hasta women, please consider getting a hand tattoo. Y’all loook so fucking fye with a henna hand tattoo or even an actual one (rihanna is a good example but i don’t think she has a hasta placement, but ariana grande has a hasta moon and she has hand tats and they look bomb asf) Like hasta rules the hands and although y’all can be conservative babes TRY IT!
6. jupiter in the 1st house in hasta🫱🏻🫲🏿 weight fluctuating real bad esp since it’s in a moon nakshatra like😭i used to be so skinny and now i gained so much weight but tbh i ain’t complaining too much because it fits my body nicely 😏.
7. Having a Sun, Venus, and even Jupiter AK (atmakaraka) is such a flex like😭. Being very confident and self assured with a Sun Ak, Venus AK having that PRETTY PRIVILEGE AS YALL SHOULD!!!, and a Jupiter Ak being hella lucky and the world working in ur favor issss super niceee like i’m jealous (i know your full chart matters on whether these will work in your favor but even with these I feel like y’all were born to be a bad bitch). I feel like having these as a DK (darakaraka) is a flex too tbh. On the topic of AK’s, tbh Saturn atmakaraka is one of the most prevalent in very famous stars (Marilyn Monroe, Aaliyah, Lana Del Ray, Whitney Houston, Doja Cat, Selena Quintanilla). I’m addition, having this AK is pretty saddening because of lot of the people who have this (your chart also plays a part but as something i noticed and others have as well) usually have a hard time in life (Britney Spears, Marylin Monroe, Whitney Houston, Aaliyah). It’s a damned if you damned if you don’t AK butttt just because you have it doesn’t NOT mean one bit it’s doom and gloom because it’s not it is very cool to have this AK (EVEN THO SATURN IS A HARSH ASS MF lol i have a saturn ak 😩)
8. Ketu in the 1st house🫱🏻🫲🏿maladaptive daydreaming and very pretty eyes (looks like they are sleep deprived LMAO but it’s very cute imo)
That is all! I didn’t include venus or jupiter observations as I really don’t know a lot of them, but imma do more research and would love to hear what observations you have!
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