#i just had to wite something after everything that happened

[vetusmemoriae]

Yan!Dottore x Reader (Part 2)

Author's note: This goes for you, @wite-sno-flik ;) Hope you like it

Summary: Childe is dead, how will the Harbingers deal with a clearly problematic Dottore?

Recommended song:

'There's no way Y/n knew, what they were doing. And that's because of Dottore.'

'You think so? They were the only person that entered Childe's room prior to his murder. Who else would it be?'

'Y/n can't think shit, as if they would suddenly decide to do something by their own and kill someone. Even if so, why Childe? We knew he has been kind to Y/n, even if that meant that he had to take them away from Dottore.'

'He was turned... problematic, lately.'

'Maybe we should confront him about this.'

'We seem to forget, we are framing a comrade of the murder of one of us. If an assistant was enough reason to do so, we should take them away to see how he reacts.'

'You are talking just like him, Pantalone...'

The voices were muffled by the wall. Capitano, Pierro, Pucinela, Pantalone and Arlechinno were talking about Dottore, that's for sure. They had so little faith in him... But they wouldn't find Y/n any time soon.

Dottore was a mysterious guy, no one else but Y/n was able to find him at all times. If you had something to tell him, you sent Y/n with the message. And as hard to find was Dottore, he could do the same with Y/n. They wouldn't move, they were so busy cleaning everything in that remote laboratory in the outside of the city... where they were safe at the command and vigilance of one of his clones no less. 'Don't let anyone close to the facility, if they do, pretend everything is off, that there's no one here'. This was just a short term plan, until the rest of the Harbingers calmed with his new creation.

'First Signora, then Scaramouche, and now Childe... Dottore had a close relationship with their doings.'

'Are you saying he might be trying to take the Tszariza's plan's down?'

'...'

'We all think that he isn't doing this for the Tszariza, we already knew that, but does this matter so little?'

'He doesn't have anywhere else to go, we could find him in a matter of days, even hours. He might be smart, but you need resources to succeed.'

'Let's leave, we should think twice before doing or saying something we regret.'

Before that, Dottore had already left, because his creation was finished, and there was no time to waste if he wanted his plan to work just as he had thought.

'It was not nice to not invite me.' That was a... familiar voice.

'Who are you?'

'What do you mean? The same as always, Childe, your comrade.'

They couldn't believe their eyes, it was Childe, right before them. He was declared dead, his body was found with wounds, he had bleed to death.

'You are not real, you died.'

'Are you gettin' philosophical or...?'

'No, we all saw your body, you were stabbed at least 142 times.'

'Isn't that a bit too much? But I'm here, I don't know what's all the fuzz about.'

'Is there something wrong?' Dottore entered the room with such a smirk, everyone would notice that this was just what he wanted.

'What does this mean, Dottore? Childe was dead mere hours ago.'

'And now he is alive, so there's nothing to worry about.'

'There is, that you attempted against your own people'

'Did I? How are you so sure?'

They stayed silent, while Dottore smile grew bigger: they had nothing to do against him right now. Would they kick him out of the Fatui? That was unlikely after all he accomplished, after taking back two gnosis.

'I will take that silence as a "we don't know". I will get going, I have matters to attend to.'

*

On the outside of the city, Y/n was cleaning all the equipment, and wasn't even half way though. The clone, Theta, was watching them clean without taking any breaks. He was commanded to not help, to only look and watch out, but as one of the young clones, he couldn't help but question their doings. Even with this, there was nothing to do but wait for Dottore to come or for something to happen.

'Y/n, do you have any idea why you are here?' They denied with their head. 'Do you want to know?'

'Should I?'

'Not necessarily, but don't you feel curiosity towards why did Dottore kill Childe?'

'No, unless you want me to'

'You are no fun... I don't have any idea of why he likes you so much.'

'Maybe it was a punishment for disappointing him'

'What do you mean? I know him, well, we are the same, you don't disappoint us, that why we like you, you do as you are told.'

'You aren't?'

'No, being honest, it's... weird, because we would usually try and experiment on you just because we have strong felling towards you. Maybe he's just trying to understand what's wrong.'

'Is there something wrong with me? Something to be fixed?'

'No, you are good, it's us. Some like to call it... "love", I don't like that word. A word to describe this? Pointless, a word is so little it can't describe it. What I mean is that you are a weakness, and because of that, I can't understand why he doesn't get rid of you.'

'I... remember' Dottore looked with some curiosity, it was so long since Y/n had some thought on themselves, that them just remembering something was something new. 'that when I got here, I wasn't directly assigned to you.

>We were on a line, waiting to be chosen. We waited for what could be all evening, standing. Some started to cry, some even pissed themselves, and I just stood there against my own thoughts, against my body, and I remember my legs hurting, as if I were to fall. At the end, from 20, just lasted 7 of us. The rest were dragged away, and as they took us to another room, we were able to hear screams and people begging for mercy, people crying. But we couldn't do anything, and if someone talked, they too would be dragged away.

>It was night, and they left us in an empty room. No instructions, no food nor water. Some thought that we were meant to kill each other until only one was left. When they touched me I left all my rage out, and... I killed him, his jaw was broken, and he didn't get up. I didn't care, because for some reason this was my only way out... to live... I didn't sleep that night, I just sited on the corner watching no one got near to me, and they didn't. In the morning they came again, you, the Harbingers came in, and investigated us, someone even was naked when we left, because you got close to me, saw the body on the floor, my knuckles with blood, and my weary eyes. And you took me to your laboratory. I have no idea what happened next or what happened before, I just know that if I want to live, I must do anything you want. There's nothing else in my life.' Y/n looked at their master's eyes. 'If you told me to kill myself I would, if you told me to kill someone, I would. Not because I want it myself, but because your want is my must, and your command is my rule.'

'And that's why we love you so, so much.' Dottore got closer, taking Y/n chin, making them look out of their duty to clean. 'You are willing to do anything we say, not because you are afraid, but because you want to live and would do anything for it. You are not afraid of us, nor of our ideas nor what we do. If we asked you to open up somebody, you would, because, like us, you have no regard for life. And even if you do not fear us, we have power over you, because at any time given we can re-start you, make you forget as we do with others. And still, it never happened more than once, when we met. You screamed so much we thought you were going to faint of the pain, but the belt we gave you was enough, and though the electricity was all around you, making you forget, you were brave enough to know there was no other way. And still, you don't hate us. I can say all we did to you and you still wouldn't be afraid or hate us. You are so dear to me... If you were to think any more clearly' he laughed 'I too would feel the need to obey you.' Dottore kissed Y/n knuckles, going up to their shoulder. 'May you be like a deity to us, we can't fell anything but happiness when you are by our side... And happiness blinds anyone, we are blinded by our love, dear, that why we did it.'

'Did what?'

'Killed them.'

'Who?'

'Aren't you curious? It was so long since you last wanted to know something for yourself, but it doesn't matter anymore. Whatever you do or say doesn't matter, you've already come to love us more than you can think of.' Dottore laughed 'It doesn't matter who we killed, you can't even think of them anymore, there's no need either. We all are your family now.'

'You...'

'Yes, dear?'

'You killed my family...'

'Well of course I did! There wouldn't be any other way you would come across the idea of applying as an assistant. But does it really matter? Can you even recall their faces?'

Y/n tried their best to think of their family, but there was nothing, no memories nor faces. There were tears, but no sobbing.

'Ohhh... dear, love, if you start felling sad about it it would mean that you really can think of something when I say family.'

'I don't, that's why I cry.'

'If there's nothing, then there's nothing to cry about.'

'Can I know something?'

'It depends.'

'Why did I come here?'

'To kill me, a necessary evil. But you have no need to kill me now, do you?' Y/n felt nauseous. 'The thought of killing me makes you feel sick, right?' Dottore caressed Y/n hair. 'It's okay... You won't kill me... there's no need to be so sad about it...'

'What did you do, Theta?' The original Dottore came next to Y/n, cleaning their tears.

'Just said the truth, they can't do anything about it.'

'Be in pain. You want that?'

'You don't? I still don't understand that... fetiche of the new clones and you of not letting nothing bad happen to them.'

'I was so... careless... The only reason I'll leave you walk out of this is because you are money. Leave.'

Theta left with a victorious smile, but just when he was about to leave, Dottore came next to him, about to tell him something, but instead stabbed him in the neck.

'I'll fix you latter, it's not like you can do anything but to stay in pain...' He smiled. 'Doesn't it feel right?' He came back with Y/n, offering his hand to help them stand up. 'I'm sorry for whatever he said, can I know some details?'

'He said you love me, that you killed my family, that...'

'Agh... That's troublesome... But it won't be any trouble for you, right, darling?'

'No... sir.'

'That's what I thought.' Dottore petted Y/n. 'That really says about your loyalty, I'm proud of you and your understanding of this situation. You can now stop cleaning, we can change your clothing and then... Is there anything you want to do?'

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'm very proud of this fanfic. I was unable to write for a while, but I kept reading Brothers Karamazov and it solved a lot. Definitely, Dostoyevsky is the goat.

I hope you liked it and my ask is open.

[penpenpencil]

I literally love your design for Spirit Tracks Link so much i would like to know everything about him and the Poe lantern because I am genuinely so intrigued 👀

Oh, hi-!

I have a few ideas for the Poe lantern bit and a bit of lore and whatnot. (If you are willing to read)

The basic premise is that the people of New Hyrule, due to the land’s relationship with spirits, can separate their souls from their bodies under certain circumstances. Most people never experience this but there are stories and witenesses so most people just think of it as something that happens, although no one quite knows why.

For Zelda, her separation was involuntary and violent, leading her to wonder far afield (to the castle) before Link found her and helped guide her to her body. Once she was back, her soul was still kinda- not fully there? So she would separate at random intervals (until they noticed a pattern and adjusted accordingly)

For Link, his separation is a side effect from being both living, magically sensitive, and also not a demon/locomo while fighting Maladus and Chancellor Cole. He first thought it had something to do with his ability to see spirits that caused it but they are still unsure of the true reason and have only come up with those possibilities. The only ‘true’ facts of the matter are that they began after fighting Maladus, usually he separates while calm or spacing out, he can’t see the living (his body included), and they found that lanterns are a good way to guide spirits ‘home’.

Spirit keeps a lantern on his body in case he wonders too far away (since he can’t really see where ‘he’ is) and it is only lit when he separates. Since he spaces out a lot while on his train, he has a hook that he uses to hang the lantern so he can follow the tracks and find the lantern again. (They call them Poe Lanterns but only because of stories from the Great Sea and Old Hyrule mention them and it fit, they don’t actually come from Poes) Zelda also has a lantern but it’s smaller than Link’s since she is usually in one place most of the time she splits or she splits with Link and they follow Link’s lantern anyway.

People can see the lanterns and their green flames and sometimes Link and Zelda will just, carry their lanterns just because they think it’s funny that to the living there’s just floating lanterns walking around. (For their ghost forms, they have a copy of their lantern that others can see. There’s usually a chain that links the lanterns and their respective ghost together but if the ghost doesn’t have their lantern on their body, the chain is broken and they must find their way back on their own. Which is much more difficult.)

I have more (I think) but I haven’t really written the Poe Lantern stuff down yet- (like my other character sheets…maybe I should do that soon)

But yeah :D

[skiijumpinng]

Just Forget The World -Lellinger fic

The last weekend was way too emotional not to write a fic about it. Enjoy. :)

The screen showed a bright yellow number one and Stephan felt his lips spread into a smile. He finally managed to do a good second jump and even though there were 7 jumpers still waiting for their turn, he knew he could be satisfied with his performance.

It was a hard weekend behind him and he couldn’t wait to get some sleep. He hasn’t had a well-rested night for weeks and travelling to Japan was not making things any easier. He felt like a couple of hours of sleep were not nearly enough and being the only one in team who valued his sleep and liked to get every minute of it that he could, jet lag really wasn’t his friend. Combine that with a morning competition, and you get what Stephan feels now. Exhaustion.

The others don’t get it, Markus and Karl preferring the morning competitions over the night ones, while Constantin and Pius don’t mind waking up early as well. The only one who understands his struggle though, isn’t there. Andi is even less of a morning person than him. While sharing a room, they would spend at least half an hour waking up.

It was usually Stephan being the first to stir up at the sound of the alarm and even if he knew he shouldn’t, he pressed the snooze button. Turning around in his bed and slowly falling asleep again, it was Andi’s turn to shut the second alarm off. They kept repeating the process without saying a word and after the fifth time of trying to squeeze in another 5 minutes, one of them would finally wake up. It was their least favourite time of the day and even if they knew that the others would make fun of them for being late, they couldn’t care less. They were the only ones who could tolerate each other’s grumpiness in the morning and overhear the annoyed words that none of them really meant.

They could do that, because they got it. And without having someone here who understood his everlasting love for sleep, Stephan had to bear being the only one who was made fun of.

Turning around, he was once again reminded that his roommate was not here. Usually, Andi would be waiting in the outrun and holding open the red gates, smiling brightly and enjoying everyone’s success. But this time, he wasn’t there and Stephan couldn’t share the happiness that he felt when he realised that he became second.

It happened in Willingen all over again. Stephan was sitting on top of the hill, waiting for Horngacher to wave the flag. The atmosphere around him was exhilarating and he all he saw was a sea of german flags that were waving for him.

It was noise and cheering, but Stephan didn’t hear anything.

He remembered his second jump in Titisee, and he knew he didn’t want the events repeating themselves all over again. He missed the podium enough times already and he was determined to do a decent second jump that would get him on the podium. It was his home hill and he had the advantage of knowing it better than anyone else. He knew the long inrun that could be deceiving at the take-off. He knew the ski flying shape of the radius, and he knew he must be quick over the knoll. He knew every little detail, because he trained here since his young age, and he also knew that he was in good shape. He just had to trust himself. ‘Don’t defend, just attack,’ he reminded himself and let go of the gate.

His mind was blank when he jumped. He trusted his body to do the process on its own, without his nerves interfering. He picked up speed on the inrun and pushed himself in the air at the table. They always kept saying that there isn’t enough life in his jumps and the eager wish to prove them wrong was enough to make him put in all the energy he had. He straightened himself in the air and let the wind take over. He saw the green line at the bottom of the hill and desperately hoped he would surpass it. The conditions were hard, but he managed a good landing and let himself be relieved when he heard the loud cheering.

His teammates were waiting for him in the outrun and he desperately wanted not to let them down. But what he wanted even more, was not letting himself down. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as he waited for the results to come in, and the elation he felt when he took the lead couldn’t be described. To be on the podium in front of his relatives, friends, people he grew up with and other spectators who were there to cheer him on, was simply indescribable.

In the leader box he only had to wait for one more jump. He knew his second one was good, and he secretly hoped that it was enough to keep the lead at the end. But the person that was still waiting on the top was Kamil, and everyone knew he never messed up the second round. But when he landed it was before the green line and everything after that happened way too quickly for Stephan to fully comprehend.

It was people congratulating him, it was noise all around, it was black-red-yellow flags far in the distance, and everything felt like a dream.

Years ago, when he got into the world cup, he didn’t dare to dream about winning a competition. One had to be consistent, have luck with the wind, be precise on the take-off and do a perfect landing for having the chance of winning. It was a silent dream, one he thought was too far away to reach. Up until now he was satisfied with top 10 finishes, always enjoying the atmosphere and the opportunity he had to compete with the best ski jumpers in the world. But ever since that podium in Wisla that surprised everyone, including himself, he craved for more. He knew he could do it, and every time he finished just under the podium, he felt himself get the motivation and confidence he needed. He dreamed of it, but he had never dreamed of getting his maiden world cup victory here, in Willingen, in front of the people he loved and who he knew where there to support him.

The once silent dream became a reality.

People were rushing around him and his teammates, who were now mirroring his wide-spread grin, couldn’t stop hugging him. Everyone was around him, except someone, whose hug would mean a lot more.

He desperately tried to push his thoughts away from Andi, because this was a moment he should enjoy every second of, but all the ‘what if’ thoughts kept coming back.

They’ve talked about this moment for so many times in the last couple of years, Stephan revealing his desires to finally be on the top and Andi attentively listening. He always urged him on and motivated him to trust himself, without letting his nerves ruin his success.

Now, when he was finally listening to his advice and letting himself relax before jumping, Andi wasn’t there.

Stepping on the top of the podium felt exhilarating. His cheeks hurt from smiling and there was still noise in his head, the last couple of minutes repeating themselves all over again. The hymn was loud and people were singing along, while Stephan still tried to comprehend that it was playing because of him. He felt proud and happy, so unbelievably happy, that his heart could burst.

He knew Andi was watching and he hoped he felt proud too.

Andi was cursing his injury over and over again, like he did a countless times in the last months. The competition form Willingen was playing on his tv and his heart was beating wildly before Stephan’s jump. His knuckles were white from crossing his fingers and he couldn’t turn away his eyes. The camera was showing a close-up of Stephan’s face and he couldn’t stop himself from trying to figure out his roommates’ thoughts. He hoped he wasn’t letting his nerves get to him and in his head he repeated all the conversations they had about this moment.

His mind went blank when he watched him jump, and even before the landing, he knew the jump was good. He watched Stephan’s lips spread to a smile and subconsciously mirrored it with his own. He had that energy around him and one could simply not return a smile while looking at him.

When the results came in, he never wished more that he could be there. He watched as others hugged and congratulated him and he knew it was pointless to try to call or send a message. There was chaos around him and Stephan deserved every second of it. He knew that he won’t be able to squeeze him into a hug today and tell him how proud he is, but watching his grinning face that conveyed so much happiness, he knew there will be time for that later.

[nochiquinn]

exandria unlimited: calamity episode 1: fantasy art deco

cautiously excited

oh is this gonna be one of the things where everything starts all fucked up and the rest of it is How We Got Here

(I'm specificially thinking of The Untamed)

that escalated quickly

oh no travis is Attractive

oh no

I am aabria hiding her face

"is it too late? can we go back? we're only five minutes in!"

"lucky 13!"

"a griffon" disgruntled wynne noises

draconic??

"that's the end of the campaign"

sam gets the mgs ! noise

aabria and travis experiencing trauma

weLP

tag urself I'm travis

ever since I made the dragon age joke I'm only seeing this guy as Duncan

"this whole episode is a trigger warning!"

hey the petals to the metal joke last week was a JOKE

dead gays and flowers

marisha's eye makeup in this light

dawnfather??

the campaign 1 kids losing their shit

ZERXUS that's his name

"I think I'm in the wrong class" "yeah I was auditing for the fun thing"

"stop being cool like we don't remember what just happened!"

changeling!

you made a 1920s fop type didn't you

BARD WARLOCK

1920s I CALLED IT

her??

RIDE ZE SHOOPUFF??

I put on my robe and bellhop hat

outer worlds, that's what this makes me think of

[stares out at the third night of rain] I want to live there

DIVORCED PCS?

yeah yeah hell yeah

ART

PURPLE

the era of hextech

The Ground Ones

"they'll move or don't"

"there's been a couple don'ts in the past"

"it's a choice"

AEORMATON

that feels unsafe

these two are going to kill me

oh no

"I'm not safe on this side of the table"

you have to tell me if you're a dragon

fantasy victor temple

oh no

fantasy racism

not the baby wizards

I'm gonna cry so much over these children later

"the sphinx is pitching alts on his roar"

ooooh the set

it's funny bc as soon as I heard "ring with an eye" I went "ukutoaaaa"

BIRB

ooh the gold shimmer animation on the art

!! that's the guy!!

this npc sounds like red green

"you're in a different movie from the rest of us!"

"new god of jerkin' off"

art!!!

this is some district 1 shit

brumestone??? in your HAIR???

cosplayers trying to figure out how to make shit float

GRANDFATHER?

"you can turn into a bear so WHAT"

"this used to all be orange groves!"

I love how reactive aabria is

is aabria left-handed? everybody take notes again

oh, so it's hubris

wizard racism

oh no

"I'll speak to nydas" can't believe we're gonna have a pc death in episode one

treason??

every single variation of eye emoji in the discord

"I think you mean his pet platypus-bear"

is patia's house the stain glass from the intro

sam

BOLO

the hot me dogs

WIZARD FIDGET SPINNER

"forgot to drop haste"

oh he's back

almost three hours later

oh we're setting me up to be sad again

my thought at the begining "you know I won't look like this when I get back" might mean he had been gone for a while - most of Elias' childhood, I'm guessing

he was like 5 in the vision, right? so if that's when zerxus saw him last he'd be like 12 now - the perfect age for resenting your dad being gone

I didn't absorb a fucking word of that

my theory is still mostly valid

birb children

"extra-terrestrial knowledge" moon lore

"is there something?" "I mean y - " "GIMME"

sam

aabria

exCUSE

keeps smacking it trying to get a better signal

aabria

aabria whatcha doin

aabriaaaa

PURVAN

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN"

"I'll tell you after"

he's just A Guy

I've missed level 14 rolls

loquatious is EXACTLY the type of person to have a magic verbal wite-out

is that the name that was on the raven statue in kymal? I think I assumed at the time that it was the raven queen's mortal name

and she like. directed mor to fucking powderize it

"free advice change your first name"

zoom and enhance

his eyes do jazz hands

HIS HAWKS

well rip this guy

oh cool I hate it

whAT

you leave my mom out of this

"goddammit not to ME"

"tune in next week and see if things get better"

[shakes the internet until episode 2 falls out]

[akira-emberheart]

songs I’d like to assign to the glee kids (part II)

Read Part I (for Kurt Hummel)

I’d like to start by letting you know that I’m not done with songs for Kurt. Oh no. There are more to come. I just feel it will be best to introduce others as well, since my list is not exactly complete or in some sort of specific order, and I’ll easily keep adding more songs.

Apologies for any spelling mistakes and canon misconceptions - I watched Glee last year and some seasons stuck in my head more than others. Here we go!

for Blaine Anderson

> Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson

"He takes care of me He loves me Piece by piece, he restored my faith That a man can be kind and a father could stay"

I heard this one for the first time in Jenna Ushkowitz’s voice, and for that reason I did think about it for Tina, because it sounded wonderful. But then it made so much sense for Blaine, and his voice would flow beautifully, making a beautiful scene of him singing this to Kurt.

We don’t really know much about Blaine’s relationship with his family, much less with his dad, unfortunately. The few canon pieces we have is that he wasn’t super accepting of his sexual orientation, and that he (possibly?) left his mom around S6. Without much info, I usually don't like headcanoning that he was a terrible father - parenting is hard, and you’re bound to make mistakes. With the very scarce hints we had from other tidbits over the series, I’m headcanoning that Blaine’s father is rather absent, and not so readily accepting of Blaine as a person, but at the same time not a terrible, abusive parent. Still, after observing Kurt’s relationship with Burt, I believe Blaine must have felt at least some jealousy, and that surely, when Klaine would be to have their own kids, Blaine would steer clear of acting like his father did.

This song, lyrically, takes us to a much more dramatic and negative experience, and for that reason, doesn’t seem to fit perfectly with this relationship. But emotionally, I think Blaine would definitely hear this song and feel something. Maybe after a less than pleasant conversation with his dad, or after spending some time with Kurt and his family and feeling like he was deprived of a good relationship with his own father.

So for this song, it would probably have to happen in a non canon scene, as I said, maybe after a fight with his dad. I also like this one to be sung in an assignemnt for Glee club, in the choir room, directed at Kurt. Quiet instrumentals, just sung over a piano like Darrren Criss does so well. Kurt and everyone would tear up.

***

> Oceans by Seafret

“It feels like there’s oceans

between you and me once again

we hide our emotions under the surface

and try to pretend”

There are a lot of songs that I can choose for Klaine’s breakup and their time apart - this one speaks to me a little differently.

Oceans is about distance. Physical, emotional - here’s no difference here. It’s about a relationship that isn’t exactly falling apart, but somehow drifting away in the distance.

In the beginning of S4, we see Kurt move to New York (pushed by Blaine), and slip into this whirlwind of a new busy life - while Blaine stays at McKinley, finishing high school in his small town life. It’s a hard balance to maintain, long distance is hard, and with everything keeping him so busy, Kurt ends up distancing himself, even though it’s not on purpose.

We see Blaine feeling lonely and left behind, and that’s exactly where this song would fit. Oceans lives a lot from the amazing vocals, so that woudn’t be an issue for Blaine at all.

I would imagine this one being sung more or less when he did “Barely Breathing” with Finn - as he considers his feelings, his relationship, going through his day to day feeling that Kurt is unreacheable (which, as we see from those phone calls, he kinda is).

“we hide our emotions under the surface

and try to pretend”

There’s also a lot of pretending everything is fine, when it really isn’t. Blaine could have tried to have an honest conversation with Kurt about how he was feeling, and about their relationship, but instead, he stayed in his corner, maybe thinking things would change, maybe witing for Kurt to realize. And as time passed, as Blaine felt more and more alone (and eventually made that mistake that led to their breakup), their relationship grows more and more distant.

***

> Always by Panic! At The Disco

“When the world gets too heavy

Put it on my back,

I’ll be your levy.

You are taking me apart

Like bad glue on a get well card.”

I am very into Blaine singing Panic! At The Disco songs - solely because his voice would fit so, so well.

This song initially made me think about how devoted and careful Blaine is with Kurt - mainly because of that first lyric. The immediate image that popped into my head was of Kurt arriving to the New York apartment after a workday, tired, and Blaine just being there, with dinner ready, ready to take care of him and make it all better.

But upon closer inspection, that’s not really what the song is about. The lyrics seem to describe someone who is deeply, irreversibly in love with someone who just doesn’t really reciprocate, or at least someone who does not answer similarly.

With this in mind, I actually have a very specific time that this song would fit in very well - the back half of S4, when Blaine and Kurt have somewhat reconciled, are friends, have even hooked up a number of times. But that’s not enough for Blaine - he wants a relationship, like they had before he made that mistake. Kurt isn’t there quite yet - and at that point, Blaine wonders if he’d ever be. Cheating is a hard thing to get over. Even if they had hooked up, Blaine couldn’t be sure Kurt would really want a serious relationship with him again.

So I would picture him singing this around that time - he’s available for Kurt, he isn’t giving up, and he’s still giving him all his love and care and attention, waiting for the day Kurt will will want the same as him.

***

> Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco

“There’s no sunshine

This impossible year

Only black days and sky grey

And clouds full of fear”

Another one by Panic! At the Disco. Once again, Blaine’s voice would absolutely kill in this song - we all know the power of Blaine and a piano.

I love this song. In short, it’s about bad times, in a depressing and dramatic way.

I see Blaine singing this one shortly after the Break Up with Kurt - either one of them. Because in both situations he is in a really bad place, lonely, depressed, and just lost the love of his life. So it’s up to you when Blaine goes to the lonely piano in the auditorium and performs alone, to the empty chairs and dim lights.

***

> Us by James Bay

"So tell me how to be in this world Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt Tell me how 'cause I believe in something I believe in us"

Admittedly, I have way too many angsty songs for Blaine.

This song fits very well into Blaine's vocal ability. It seems to be about having someone very special to hold on to when everything else is falling apart.

I like this one for around S5EP16 - when Blaine is struggling with body image and adjusting to New York life, and how different his relationship with Kurt is from when they were in high school. And because of how much his self image is crumbling as he doubts himself, that doubt bleeds into the relationship he has with the most important person in his life.

In the episode, if I remember correctly, after their heart to heart the next sceen they show of Blaine and Kurt is much more lighthearted, but in my head, this song would fit right after that talk - when Blaine realises he can't just keep bottling up his problems and doubts, and that Kurt will be there for him as he builds himself and his confidence back up.

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

omfl I can't believe I didn't know abtu ssoner I love half the fandoms u wite for! I have a few questions how many you imagines do you have in Q? See you continuing this? Could u do a Or 2 of Joe's imagine?! Like he goes to the place where her and her friend meeting watching them and watches her. She sees and sorta recognizes him and smiles at him to acknowledge him but that is as far as it goes. He isn't used to being caught. You can make up the rest. Third qustn are you making the friend gay?

(A/N): Aaaah, so many questions! Hi, I’m super happy that you like a lot of the fandoms I write for! Okay, so, your questions. 1) After posting this one, I have two You imagines out of 24 requests. 2) Thank you for your idea! It helped make this second part as you requested <3 And 3) um... I don’t know? He’s kind of just a side character and he’s remaining nameless, so you can decide yourself? I don’t know, if someone requests another part that involves the friend being gay or straight, then it’ll be decided x3 Anyway, enjoy! Hope you’ll like it!

Part one

“So…” Your friend blows the steam off his cup, a wide grin on his lips as he gives you a teasing look. “... have you met anyone?”

“You mean since ‘yesterday’?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a playful smile settled on your expression as you stare back at him. “Why are you so obsessed with finding me a guy?”

“Hm... I don’t know. Maybe because you want me to find you a guy?”

You give out a snort, shaking your head. “For the last time... I was drunk.”

“Drunk or not, you still make me promised to find you a guy by the end of the year, so-” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Have you met someone?”

“You’re impossible.” Your words make him chuckle, your eyes sweetening as you remember the book clerk from the bookstore. “Well… actually…”

He gives out a dramatic gasp, his eyes widening with excitement. “You did meet someone!”

“I didn’t meet someone…” You feel your cheeks warm up, already regretting talking about this. “He just sold me a book-”

“Still count as a meeting!” You playfully roll your eyes at that, quirking an eyebrow when he suddenly stands up. “Okay, I wanna hear everything, but first… I need to go to the bathroom.”

You give out a snort. “Okay.”

He points at you as he walks away. “Don’t escape while I’m gone!”

You just chuckle as he disappears towards the men’s bathrooms, your hands wrapping around your cup of coffee for some warmth. You decide to look out the window while you wait for your friend to come back, your settling on a few cars and trespassers passing by for a few minutes. A small movement from the corner of your eyes grabs your attention soon after, turning your head towards a nearby table to see a man replacing the cap of his hat on his head. You frown at him, feeling like his figure is familiar, then open your eyes wide in recognition.

‘No way… is it really him?’

You give out a smile towards his figure and a small wave in his direction, and Joe instantly freezes in panic. You saw him. That never happened before. Then again, Beck never hangout in coffee places in the middle of daylight… and you’re not Beck. Shit. You know that he saw you. What the hell is he supposed to do now?

Slowly, he raises his hand and gives you a small wave back, a giggle escaping your throat as soon as he does so. Of all the places in the world to meet him again… it had to be your favorite coffee shop.

“Why are you giggling?”

You jump up in surprise, your eyes catching the sight of your friend sitting back in front of you with his usual shitty grin. 

“I just-” You point towards the table where Joe was seated, only to frown in confusion when you see that he’s no longer there. “... nevermind. I just thought of something funny.”

“Well, whatever it is, it can wait until you tell me all about this mysterious man who sold you a book.” He crosses his arms over the table, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “So? Is he hot?”

- - - - - - - - - -

Joe tries to take control of his breathing as he steadies himself against a nearby wall, his eyes looking back at the café where he can see you laughing with your friend. He got caught; at the very first location he went to stalk you. He’s glad you didn’t seem to think of it more like a random encounter, or else it would have been quite unsettling, but god… he’s so stupid. He ran away. Why did he run away? This could have been the perfect opportunity to come to talk to you, act as if it was a coincidence… but your stupid friend came out of the bathroom and he so didn’t want to talk to him.

And he couldn’t breathe… when you set those brilliant eyes on him, sent him that beautiful smile of yours… he just couldn’t think or do normal human things. It took all of his strength to stand up from that chair, the adrenaline being the only thing saving him in time… 

No, no more watching you from a nearby table. As of right now, he’ll prefer to stay outside and watch you from afar. Luckily for him, maybe you’ll always choose a place near a window… ‘cause he doesn’t know what he’s going to do if you catch him again out of work.

You’re already such a difficult challenge to handle, but he knows that you’re gonna be worth it.

[kotalefanzu]

Pitch Pearl  ATUS AU- Part 3

ahahaha. i finally came back to wite the finale. WOOOO. im still sorry about waiting so long oof.

where we last left off, danny had a dream about phantom, in which he tells him about the creation of the natural portals. he leaves danny, saying that he’ll come running back soon enough. when he wakes up, jazz tells him that sam and tucker have gone missing.

danny takes a second to process that information along with the dream and his brain just shuts down. he goes on autopilot, acting like he didn’t hear a word she just said. jazz tries to snap him out of it to get some sort of reaction but when she actually looks him in the eyes, filled with exhaustion, fear, and helplessness, she realizes that he doesn’t need any more things to worry about and goes to tell their parents not to bother him. 

when she leaves, he blankly goes through the motions as he normally would. just like before this all happened. he checks his phone with slight hope that they may have tried to contact him, but after realizing he spent ten minutes just staring at it, he puts it away and doesn’t check it again. the walk to school is nothing but a stream of consciousness and he doesn’t even really feel awake anymore. everyone is just a blur while his brain refuses to process anything around him. 

he gets to class, looks at his friends’ desks, and notices two cleanly carved DP symbols on them. it makes him start giggling a little, then laughing loudly, before he sinks to the ground crying out of frustration and overload.

a town meeting is called in the middle of school. the missing children line up with the new influx of ghost sightings and they want to check to see if any more kids have gone missing. someone points out the danny got taken last and the two missing children were his friends. others bring up the lunchroom incident and start pestering him with questions, seeking answers. danny waits for his family to quiet everything down before explaining everything from his first day in captivity all the way to last night’s dream. many people want to push the blame onto danny for painting a target on their heads and force him to deal with it on his own while others want to use danny as a bargaining tool to save their lives.

the fentons reject every suggestion and say that the most important thing here to do if to protect the children and find a way to defeat the ghosts now that blocking their way into the human realm is no longer an option. they explain that giving danny up might be a trap if phantom was able to kidnap sam and tucker but didn’t head straight for danny. he is told to safe and not try anything.

the GIW are called in to work on locating one of the portals and storming the ghost zone to rescue the missing children. danny is desperate to help and spends most of his time reliving unwanted memories just to give any form of information that might be helpful. after a while they send him away to try getting back to normal life as he needs a form of distraction. 

at lunch, he is cornered by the other teens who ask if he is really just going to sit there and do nothing. danny is hesitant to lead more children into the ghost zone where they could be hurt, but they are determined and at this point, he is willing to risk it. after stealing a bunch of weapons from his parent's old weaponry vault, he finds a natural portal and opens it. they get sucked into it and arrive in the courtyards of phantom’s keep.

the ectoplasm flooding his system is mildly overwhelming but he pushes through it and begins guiding everyone to the dungeons where they would probably be kept. he notices while navigating that strangely everything is the same as it ws before he left, from to the decor to the guard rotations. when they reach the dungeons, sam and tucker aren’t there. it confuses him. he tries to think about where else phantom could have put them and a small voice whispers, ‘check your old wing’. its actually easier to sneak back to his old wing due to all the times he has snuck in and out of it. while the rest of the group aren’t so used to the routes, following him makes it a lot easier. waiting in the common room of the wing are sam and tucker, posed like lifeless dolls and dressed in clothing uncomfortably similar to what danny once wore, though less extravagant. their skin is pale and lifeless and their eyes are glowing

perched on their heads are silvery circlets. danny motions for the rest of the group to stand behind him. sam and tucker slowly turn to look at them and another battle breaks out.

its obvious from how they are fighting that while they wont strike to kill danny, they dont care about sparing the rest. the group slowly works out a system of one half distracting sam while the other go to hold down tucker and remove the circlet. as soon as it comes off, the glow from his eyes fades and he stills like they pushed his power button. with one less person constantly firing at them, its a lot easier to do the same for sam as she can’t fight them all off. dash and kwan take up carrying the limp, unconscious people and they make off with their battle spoils to the portal. 

danny reopens the portal and makes sure everyone gets through, doing a headcount. when he is sure everyone is accounted for and out of the ghost zone. he thanks them and seals it, locking them in the human realm with him on the other side.  

it takes a while for the group to finally tell someone what happened and they start fearing how to explain to the two dead to the world people who still haven’t woken up yet. they finally fess up when jazz drives by and asks where danny is. they silently just show her sam and tucker and watch the emotions flicker rapidly on he face. in the end she settles on heartache and gives a weak smile, telling them that she’s glad they are back but wishes they could have brought her brother back as well. she is more forgiving when they explain that it was his decision and they didnt have time to stop him before it was too late.

back in the ghost zone, danny stares blankly at the sealed portal, wondering if he should just step through now before its too late. just as he reaches out his hand, he gets pulled in a tight embrace as phantom laughs in his ear. 

“What did I tell you, Starlight. You would come running back into my arms soon enough. Let’s go back home. You’ll find I didn’t change anything when you left. We can go right back to how it used to be before. Like you never ran away from me.”

he stays huddled up in his room for most of the time, only coming out when phantom wants him to accompany him on an errand or when he has to attend meetings with phantom. the faces are familiar. he made a few friends during his captivity and while the circumstances are grim, its pleasant to see them again. 

for starters, clockwork was a common face when danny began getting incredibly homesick. phantom had requested danny be allowed to view the present of his ‘loved ones’ lives and he had spent every moment he could watching them throughout the day and making sure they were fine. clockwork also had hilariously awful puns, though they werent allowed to actually say them anymore after phantom got jealous and forbade them from speaking to danny. danny still carried the one-sided conversations and it seemed to cheer clockwork up from the decree. princess dora, now queen dora, was also a good friend of his, often discussing with him the pain of living with overbearing nobility. she had done a double-take when he approached her and sat him down to calmly ask what happened, though he could see the tension laced through her. after recounting she took a long sip of her tea and looked him in the eyes. she told a seemly random story of her exploring her kingdom and hearing a bard singing about how the mighty dragon princess stole the dragon king’s crown and the mighty dragon queen took her dear brother down. the piercing look in her eyes before she moved to a new topic told him more than enough.

the few moments of reprieve they offered was not enough to outdo the lappet treatment of phantom that allowed for no rejection, but it was something and it was all he could ask for.

sam and tucker wake up finally after being in a coma for two days. after scanning the room filled with their classmates, parents, and the fenton family, they quickly realize the only one not there that should be is danny. sam is the first one to speak, immediately yelling at them for trading them for danny and going off about how they need to go back for him as soon as possible. dash defends them by telling her that its not their fault danny closed the portal before any one of them could drag his skinny self sacrificing ass through it. they cant reopen it without him.

sam quiets down after that and tucker takes out asking all the questions he can think of to find a way to fix this. there has to be a way to reopen the portal.

(a cut back scene to danny interacting with phantom. im not good with writing abuse mixed with love very well so go ahead and use your imaginations okay uwu)

sam and tucker also end up secluding themselves and working nonstop on trying to figure out how to save danny. jazz stops by every day to check on them and pass on homework and anything she hears about the ghosts to them. while they start cleaning up the room to take a break and finish schoolwork, sam trips on a piece of paper and is about to fall. only she is caught in mid-air and surrounded by a neon lime green aura, one similar to danny’s though his is a bluish mint. the aura dissipates and she hits the ground with a soft thud but everything stops as tucker and her look at each other in shock. 

“That was you!”

“That was me!”

homework gets pushed aside again for experimentation and documenting. they might be able to reopen the portal after all.

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

I got bored inspired today and decided to wite the Wackynette Story of “HawkMoth is” where Marinette does a presentation about why and how Lila is secretly Hawk Moth (Her assignment was to do tabloid news)

Also got inspired by @Rarity36 comic about the same thing, thank you!

semi salt, but not really.

-

Hawk Moth Is…

Or the Dangers of Assigning a Tabloid Report to Very Smart Students

The day started ordinary for the Class of Miss Bustier. Today lesson was on News and how they can be shared. To make the lesson a bit more fun, after they had covered all of them, the teacher had decided to assign each pair of student to investigate a current event and make a presentation in the style of said event. Lila immediately asked Alya to be her partner.

“Oh, we can dress up as journalists and make our presentation as something worth of a Newspaper!”

“But Miss Bustier” asked Marinette spoke up. “There are 15 of us, and the assignment is on pairs… one of us will be left on its own”

“Oh, don’t worry Marinette, I’m sure whoever that is can make a wonderful job on their own!” replied Lila with fake sweetness. Of course that with her claiming Alya, it was highly likely that Marinette would be left on her own. Marinette just glared at her. “Don’t get mad at me, I’m only joking!” Lila added with more fake sweetness. Alya giggled.

“I’ll be sure to make things fair. For starters, I’m making the pairs” she looked around the class, who groaned. “And I’m also assigning what kind of media will each do”

Miss Bustier took a small glass bowl from under her desk, along with a hat; both seemed to be filled with papers.

“Now, I’m going to take out your names from this bowl to make the pairs so everything is fair. No changes or substitutions are allowed, all pairs are final” she grabbed the hat. “And this hat has all the different media we saw, to make everything fair, it will be also random”

Marinette was one of the last chosen, and she was paired with Juleka, to work on a tabloid. Lila snickered, and Alya gave Marinette her condolences for having to work on “fake news”

At the end, only Adrien, Lila and Chloe were unpaired. Marinette felt a bit bad for hoping that Adrien would be on his own, but then a Christmas Miracle happened…

“Only three people…” Miss Bustier took one of the papers left “Adrien with” Marinette held her breath, as did the other two girls. “Huh… Markov? I don’t remember putting his name here…”

“No charges or substitutions allowed, all pairs are final” Markov played a recording of Miss Bustier. She just shrugged.

“Well, I did say that. Adrien, you’re with Markov. Lila and Chloe, you’re the last pair”

The two girls looked at each other, mouths agape. Even with Markov lacking a face, they could swear he was grinning at them.

“Good luck on your presentation” called Marinette to Lila and Chloe after the day was over.

Working with Juleka was a blast, even without taking in account that they also worked on her room, which meant Luka was present sometimes. They actually came to the realization that working on a tabloid would be easier than what their classmates had gotten, as it meant that they would only need to think on something current, and then lie their asses off in a sensationalistic way.

So of course they choose the most unbelievable thing they could, and went from there.

-

The day of the presentation came, with Chloe and Lila presenting something worth of a news show, and that was obviously made by professionals that Chloe’s dad paid. However, they forgot to cite their sources, so Miss Bustier had to take off some points of their grade.

“Marinette and Juleka are next, their theme is a tabloid”

The two girls stood up from their respective seats. Like Chloe and Lila before them, they were dressed in pantsuits that no doubt Marinette had designed, Juleka with her a dark purple that almost seemed black, with a textured fabric that looked like giant feathers, Marinette with a soft pink one that it took the others a double take to realize the blazer was simulating a skirt. Even Chloe seemed impressed.

“Yes, yes. Hello everyone, as you know, the Tabloid is a type of newspaper that is smaller, and covers more sensationalistic stories, celebrity gossip and such, most of their stories are dubious or outright fake.”

“They are famous in the states for reporting Bigfoot and UFOS, for example”

“So today, our news is the most unbelievable thing we could think of!”

Marinette pressed a button on her tablet, and the screen behind them appeared, it looked like the cover of a tabloid, with sensationalistic views talking about monster sightings, Andre the Ice cream man being secretly a spy, Luka being a vampire and other nonsense the girls could think of. The biggest font and the main news red “We discovered the identity of Hawk Moth!!!!”

“First of all, we want to thank Nathaniel for taking time of his own project to help us with the illustrations for ours”

“You’re welcome!” said the boy, who was also wearing a dark red suit, also designed by Marinette. Kim, his partner, was equally dressed, with his vest and pants being a weird shade of brown.

“Without further ado…”

“EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!” yelled both girl at the same time. Marinette pressed the tablet again, and the screen changed.

“Exclusive news, ladies and gentlemen! We have discovered the identity of Paris Number One Criminal! The one and only Hawk Moth!” Juleka said quickly in an excitable voice that everyone found uncharacteristically of her. Miss Bustier smiled, knowing that Marinette was being a good example for her.  Everyone gasped, forgetting it was tabloid news.

The next screen had a very cool illustration of someone transforming into Hawk Moth. Everyone immediately knew who it was meant to be.

“WHAT? Marinette!” Alya protested, surprising no one. Except maybe Lila. “That is slander! There is no way Lila is Hawk Moth!” she turned to their teacher. “Miss Bustier, you can’t possibly allow Marinette to continue!”

“Actually, it was my idea” said Juleka, much more meekly than before. Miss Bustier frowned and looked sternly at Alya.

“We are supposed to do a tabloid, so of course we are doing something bogus and ridiculous. Besides, Lila knows we are only joking” Marinette winked at the rest of the class, who all laughed making Lila furious

“They are right. Statistically speaking, tabloid news are very likely to be fake news, or greatly exaggerated ones.”

“Thank you Max” said Miss Bustier. “Girls, you may continue with your presentation”

“Thanks!” Marinette pressed another button, and it was Lila as Volpina. “As we all know, Lila was akumatized the first day she started class with us, and…”

“That proves she’s not Hawk Moth! She can’t be akumatized and be hawk moth at the same time!” Alya practically jumped out of her seat. Miss Bustier looked at her disappointed. Marinette looked at her, but ignored her comment.

“As we all know, the power of Volpina dealt with Illusions, and one of her illusions was, precisely, that of Hawk Moth appearing in plain sight”

“Now, you are wondering, why is that important?” several classmates nodded. “Because up to that point, we had only seen Hawk Moth’s head made of butterflies back on the Stone Heart incident, and we didn’t see the actual Hawk Moth until much later, on Heroes day” Marinette pressed a button, and an image of the head of Hawk Moth made of butterflies appeared, along with a blurry picture of hawk moth the day of Volpina, and another higher quality picture of Heroes Day, everything with their respective credits.

“So, I ask, how did Lila, AKA Volpina know how Hawk Moth looked, when no one else did?”

The class breaks in whispers. They seem to forget again that it is supposed to be fake news.

“But Hawk Moth is a guy! An adult man!”

“All the better to cover herself by pretending her alter ego to be of other gender and age. Something she can do as Volpina”

“And speaking of Volpina… do you know where she took that name from?” Most of the class shook their head. “Well, interesting fact! Adrien Abigail Agreste…”

“Please don’t use my middle name”

“Duly noted. Adrien Agreste brought a book from home the same day that Lila appeared…”

“Oh, and what did that book contained?”

“Excellent question Juleka! The book contained information on the Miraculous and their past holders, and it was actually the property of Adrien’s father, Mister Gabriel Abigail Agreste”

Adrien just head desked.

“And Lila grabbed the book for inspection. Adrien almost caught her, so she just threw the book on the thrash”

“That makes no sense, how would I know what it contained? Heck, how do you know?” Alya did notice that Lila had not denied that she had taken the book.

“My house is in front of the park. I saw you guys and thought I would approach and say hi.”

“Didn’t you say you were eavesdropping?”

“They were talking when I approached them, so technically, yeah.”

“Wait… you recovered the book from the thrash? You were the one to return it to my father?”

Marinette blushed a deep shade.

“What? You mean that part is real? Dupain-Cheng is the reason you returned to school?”

“Well, I’m not saying Lila did took my father’s book, but it disappeared after she showed interest in it”

“I can’t believe you’re accusing me of…”

“We’re not, this is a tabloid, remember?”

“And continuing, Lila going abroad after that…”

“AHA! If Lila wasn’t here, it means she couldn’t have attacked! Seh was too far away!” Alya again almost jumped from her seat.

“I would like to remind everyone that we all went to space thanks to an akuma”

“Swimming in space was the best”

“So, Lila going abroad and then returning coincides with the appearance of Mayura, which can only mean that she went to search for the Peacock Miraculous”

“Right and I’m Mayura too?”

“That’s info for another article”

Kim raised his hand.

“We’re not making another article”

Kim lowered his hand, disappointed.

“So, like we were saying, it’s highly suspicious that Lila joined the class with a 90% akumatization rate”

“Actually, it’s 87.5% akumatization rate if we count Miss Bustier”

“We counted the doubles”

“Ah”

“Why would someone join the Akuma Class, if not for gain intel about how to get more akumas”

“Not to mention the other teachers and students that have been akumatized too. Our school is a focal point for akumas… almost like the akumas came from inside the school!”

Everyone went quiet, looking at Lila with dread. Even if Marinette and Juleka were joking, they were raising very fair points. Lila seemed to be contemplating this.

“And we all have been akumatized at one time or another.” Juleka eyed Marinette. “Well, most of us. And some of us have witnessed other people becoming akumas. A common thread is that Hawk Moth knows exactly what the person wants due to his empathy powers. And Lila is a good friend who always knows what to say to make us feel better. Coincidence? Or an innate ability granted by her miraculous?!”

Lila was wide eyed looking at the two in the front. Everyone else was whispering again.

“Of course, one of the most common symptoms post akumatization is the loss of memory of what one does as an akuma. So it stands to reason that Lila might not know that she is, in fact, Hawk Moth, especially if she akumatizes herself each time so Hawk Moth takes over"

“Any questions?”

Literally everyone raised their hand. Even Miss Bustier and Markov, despite him not having hands.

“Great! That concludes our presentation.”

“Excellent job girls, you get full marks!”

Marinette and Juleka high fived each other, and went to take their respective seats. Everyone kept staring at Lila. Nathaniel slided away from Lila so much he actually fell from his seat, landing on his butt. Lila was staring at her feet, having a bit of an existential crisis

“Adrien and Markov, you’re next”

[igotanna]

GOT7 reaction - you doubting your appearance

genre: reader’s POV

summary: got7 comforting and assuring reader that she is worthy

warning: fluff

a/n:  I had to write it, mood was relatable.

Gifs are not mine

ssaeng-eol - means bare faced, not having any make up on

-------------

Mark

It was one of those day you’d rather not see yourself. Everything was bad, your nose too big, your eyes too close to each other, your hair messy, not talking about the skin.

You avoided the mirror or any kind of reflection as you could.

Mark didn’t notice at first but when you refused to give him a hug with close up kiss he frowned “What is it, Y/N?”

“Not taday, Mark,...” you mummed and turned away from him “I don’t feel... good today.”

His hand slipped around your waist and you felt his mascular body behind you.

“Good for what?”

“Anything.” you sighed so softly and quietly you didn’t even hear yourself.

You heard his long deep breath behind your ear and his head resting on your shoulder “I must correct you - anything isn’t good enough for you.” then he pressed his lips on your skin “Don’t make me say this more than 24 times a day.. you are perfect for me.”

JB

You didn’t want to be hysterical.

You didn’t want to cry.

But what could you do when you and JB were supposed to go on a dinner and here you were with bunch of the biggest meanest and ugliest pimples all over your forhead.

Your jaw started to clinch and you felt tears coming up.

Before real cry you tried to wash your face, cover it all with make up but it was all not worth it. Cleaning it ment making your face go red and make up made you look fake  because you  needed twice amount than usual.  

After this you gave up and cried your life out. You felt yourself sitting on the bathtub covering your face with hands and catching all the tears and sobs between them.

“Y/N, are you ready? We have reservé on time, remember?” sounded JB from behind the doors. Just before you could reach to lock or hide he opened and stood there frozen by the sight of you crying like a baby.

“What is it?” he rushed to you and kneeled in front of you. He was scared to death see you like this. Crying and sobbing out of blue when just few minutes ago you were fine “What happened??” he urged and softly took your hands in his so you faced him.

Your eyes were all read, face wet and you looked away immediately.

“I..I... I can’t go out with you like this...” you sobbed.

He seemed relieved but still frowned “What? Like what?”

“Like THIS!” you cried again and pointed at your face.

He hugged you to calm you down.

“If you don’t feel to go out we can stay home but please don’t tell me you think you are ... can’t even say it... ugly to go out. Please don’t.” he whispered. You didn’t say anything and he continued “I’d be desperate cause I can tell you all I want that you are beautiful and you won’t listen anyway.”

You nodded “I know you mean it nicely, but..”

“You are the prettiest in all cases. I haven’t seen you not pretty. And I live with you for two years now. You didn’t give me chance, you know? Beauty beauty beauty.” after every word he kissed you in your hair.

“Now calm down. If you wanna we can stay home.What do you want?”

Jackson

You unintentionally encouraged Jackson to insist on face time though it was the last thing you wanted today.

You were calling almost every day due to his tour now in Thailand and most of the time you face timed but today was a bad day and you felt like shit already. You didn’t want to feel even worse because of Jackson’s pretty face and you on the other hand looking like a ad on suicide.

“Whyyy?” he whined all over and over again when you refused his needs.

“Because I’m ssaeng-eol Jacks, that’s why.” you sighed.

He knew you well enough and laughed “Seriously? This is your excuse? Do you know we are together for like three years now? I saw you ssaeng-eol hundreds times. C’moon let me see you! I wanna see my pretty baby!”

When you declined his call again he threatend  “Okay if you ain’t gonna accept it I’ll cry and whine and whimper till you do!”

You accepted it immediately knowing how badly and seriously he means his threat.

“What’s going on, doll?” he asked right away knowing something is up.

“I feel like shit.” you sighed and covered half of your face with a pillow “I feel like the ugliest disguisting shit that walks the Earth.”

He blinked a few times and coughed “Well let me say - you are my prettiest shit that walks the Earth. I’d like to beat your ass for what you said about yourself. You are not allowed to talk badly about yourself under my watch. So stop it and tell me where you got this stupid idea.”

Jinyoung

Like Jackson Jinyoung would most likely actually try to understand why you think of yourself badly.

He’d ask you “What brings you to such emotions?” and after you would explain it to him he’d help you find the solution and prevent that from happening again.

Also I think he’d be very sad seeing you doubting yourself. It would give him a hard time to bring up the courage to actually start talking to you about it. Because he just couldn’t believe you think of yourself such things.

After discovering you once searched “self love” and “feeling ugly” on google he would be crashed. What leads you to this? Does he not give you enough love?

He’d try small gestures of affection like flowers, notes saying ‘ily’ in the morning or simply buying you small gifts.

But if nothing would help he’d go to you, hug you and ask “How can I help you? Please tell me this is killing me.”

Youngjae

Sweet ball of sunshine would be frustrated when he’d know you are questioning your appereance.

After few attempts on making you talk to him about it he would prepare some kind of appretiation challange for both of you. He understands your situation completely since he is very insecure about himself too and quite knows what might help you.

So you end up having really fun evening with witing down all things you like about each other and then changing those lists.

By this kind of psychological games he would softly lead you to what he knew already  - you are beautiful, worthy and he loves you no matter what.

Bambam

“I’m not taking selfie with you, Bam stop it!” you raised your voice.

“Why not look my hair’s perfect today!” he pointed his phone again on both of you.

You snapped his hand and he dropped his phone.

“What’s wrong with you today?” he asked picking it up.

“EVERYTHING!”

This little scene made you run into the bathroom. Bambam was trying to persuade you all day. Take a photo here let’s take selfe there. You were so annoyed and not just by his whining. You felt ugly and you didn’t want him to take pictures of you like that.

He knocked on the door softly “May I come in?”

“No. Don’t. You shouldn’t look at me today at all. I am so ugly I don-” he cut you of with opening the door and pushing you to him.

“Do you know only I can say bullshit in this house?” he kissed your temple “I’m sorry for pushing you.. I didn’t know.” then his eyes met yours and you saw a devlish smirk “What about haloween filter?”

Yugyeom

You didn’t like talking to Yugyeom about insecurities and doubts at all. You  knew he had plenty on his own and always got sad when you told him you have too. He couldn’t help you with it since he couldn’t help himself.

So you both silently agreed when some of you is having these thoughts it is going to be shown by being clingy.

Physical contact ended up being the best way to run away and heal.

So one day you felt like this again.

Yugyeom was conveniently on the couch and scrolling his phone.

You got there, lied next to him and cuddled on his chest. He knew right away.

His arm slowly got under you, phone landed on the floor and the other hand hugged you tight making you feel cuddled in him.

“I’m here for you.” he said softly.

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“Thank you Yugye..”

[difficultbutreal]

A Final Goodbye

A/N: Found this in my drafts and - inspired by Lose You To Love Me -finished it. Posting this to tie you over until I’ve finished my other highly requested fic feat. a new man?! :D Hope you still enjoy this. Have a great day and stream LYTOLM!

It was strange seeing his number like that on the phone. Out of the blue, the thick wite letters of his name seemed to be especially large and bright. And she hesitated. Of course she did because after all, there was nothing more to say, was there?

She hesitated, but eventually, carefully let her finger hover over the button to accept the call and made up her mind in a split second: "Hello?"

"Uhhh ... hey Selena. It's me." His voice came carefully, and she could tell from the way his voice sounded that he was surprised she had even picked up her mobile.

"Yeah, I saw."

Silence. She could hear herself breathing unsteadily, could literally make out the way he was scrunching his eyebrows together as he was considering his words carefully.

"I know I'm the last person you'd expect to call you and I understand that it's ... weird after all this time and everything that happened so thank you for picking up and -" he finally began but found himself interrupted by the girl on the other end of the line.

"Justin, what do you want?" His ex asked, her voice impatient. "I believe we've said all we had to say."

He was quiet again for a couple of moments.

"I just ..."

"Justin, listen, just tell me what you need to say so I can go on with my day." Selena knew she sounded harsh but she was beyond the point of caring. She had spent so much of her life by his side, or missing being by it and for the first time in so long - maybe since she'd known him -didn't feel the pull to be back with him.

"I made a mistake, okay?" He finally blurted it out. "I never should have - I mean I really really should have, - it was all so perfect, I..."

Sighing, Selena stepped outside of her living room and onto the balcony where she looked down to the garden below.

"Are you trying to tell me all your regrets of the past? Don't you have your wife to discuss this?" She really didn't mean to sound bitter, or be mean but what was the point of this call? He had decided to stop being a part of her life only to tell her about what he wished he'd done differently?

"Yes, I - thats what this is about, okay? Just give me a second, Jesus!" Justin exclaimed frustrated.

She let out another sigh but remained quiet on her side of the phone, instead starting to push the chair back and letting herself fall onto it, the sun warming her face nicely.

"I was too quick to decide all that - I mean one second we're at my dads wedding, then you decided to take a step back and then there was Hailey and I just ... I acted. I don't know, I guess I was just afraid to lose her too if I didn't make sure she'd stay but I really should have waited and let that relationship built and just - be together for a while. Now I'm stuck and ... I'm wondering whether or not I made a huge mistake just ... letting you go." He muttered the last part of his hurried speech, the brunette had a hard time keeping up with it all.

"You can't be serious!" She then exclaimed. "After all this time and getting together ... how many times? I don't even know cause it's been so fucking often I can't keep count but after us trying so many times you still question whether or not you should still be with me?"

"Well ... yeah?" She could tell Justin was unsure what to say after her statement because his voice went up, making his 'yeah' sound like a question.

"You made it pretty clear she's the love of your life," Selena stated. "So this should be it, right? I told you this was our last try and we failed, it's time you move on, Justin. There's nothing left for us anymore."

"Selena please I -"

"No Justin, I'm serious. You're married to someone who really loves you, as far as I've heared. We tried and it didn't work out. It took me a long time to learn, but some things aren't meant to be no matter how much you want them to. It's okay to let that go. You have all you wanted, so focus on that. Don't screw something up because you cling to the past."

"I'm .. trying. But lately I've just .. been thinking about things and it just doesn't feel like the end, you know? I mean is there even a end when it comes to the two of us?"

"Justin I ... I really think you should just let it go." She tried to reason again. She knew him so well yet she struggled to find the right words to make him understand.

“I can’t just let it go, okay?” Justin said, his voice now louder and angry. “Don’t you get it Selena? I never should have left like that. I never should have just married someone else. Hailey is - great, really and I do love her but it’s not the same. I shouldn’t think about you, right? I shouldn’t question the decision I made to marry her. I shouldn’t have all these memories of us when I am experiencing so much with her. But I am, Selena, I fucking am. And I can’t help but feel like our story wasn’t over, we just thought it was.”

“Justin,” she said his name calmly, taking a moment to consider how to say this. “I'll always love you, you know that. We had some really good times together and that will always be a part of me. I am grateful for all we’ve been trough and I’m sorry if your life isn’t the dream you always imagined, I really really wish it was. I’m sorry if you feel like there should have been more to our story. But my life is really good right now and - I’m not saying this to hurt you, but I don’t miss you in it. I’m over us, over this insanely complicated and insanely beautiful ride we’ve been on together. I can’t tell you if there’s ever gonna be more to our story but right now; I have no interest in changing anything about it. Do you understand?”

Selena had tried to say it as gently and calmly as possible but she knew she’d hurt him nonetheless. The silence on his part was overwhelming, a silence so extremely loud she wondered if she’d even get a reply or if he’ll just hang up on her, defeated.

“Okay, fine. If that’s how you see it,” she could finally hear him say quietly.

“I’m sorry, Justin,” the girl told him again. “I hope you can let go and just .. be happy with the way things are. There are many great things in your life, aren’t there? It all seems to have turned out pretty great.”

“Yeah, you’re right, it’s .. good. Everything’s great,” Justin hesitantly agreed. Not as great as it should be, he thought to himself but tried to ignore his inner thoughts. “Sorry for interrupting your day.”

“You’re not, it’s no trouble,” she quickly assured. “Be well, Justin,” she said. A  final goodbye.

All fanfics - Message

[twdeadfanfic]

Bad luck Pt.1

Author’s note

I had an anon request  for a fic in which Daryl, Rick and the reader go out on a run, but the reader gets hurt. I got a little carried away and it ended up being too long to be a one-shot, so I divided it in two.

I decided to try and wite it from Daryl’s pov, it was quite challenging but I really enjoyed it!

I decided to post it on Sunday’s night since we don’t have twd nomore, second part will be posted next Sunday. My series “A not-so-quiet-life” will still be posted on wednesdays.

I hope you like this, and I hope the anon who requested it is happy with it!

As always, excuse me if there’s any mistake, English is not my first language.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Tags/Warnings: Daryl’s pov, established relationship, violence twd style.

Masterlist

-

Daryl looked at the perimeter around as the car drove fast, trying to find some place, anything, where they could find the supplies and food that day after day Rick and him went out looking for. Through the rearview mirror he saw Y/N on the back, blissful smile on her face.

“What’re you smiling about?”

“You.”  She replied, her grin growing bigger, and Daryl felt his cheeks heat up.

She did that a lot, make him feel like that, she was always able to make him blush and turn him all flustered and babbling. He’d have hated it, making him feel like an idiot, if it weren’t for the warm feeling that always came with it, spreading through him, making his stomach do weird things and his heart go crazy.

It wasn’t a feeling he was used to.  Most times, it still made him feel light headed. Sometimes it made him feel like he was floating. Other times it made him feel like running and hiding. He could never run away from her, though.

A low chuckle coming from the driver’s seat made Daryl come back to earth and he rolled his eyes at Rick, feeling like he was just blushing even more.

“I’m smiling at you too, just so you know it.” Y/N told Rick.

“Better smiling at me than glaring me down,” Rick replied, sounding amused, while he looked pointedly at Daryl for a second before training his eyes on the road again. Daryl just scoffed at him.

“See, that’s what I mean.” Y/N leaned forwards so she could look at them better. “You’ve been looking so stressed lately…I know we all have gone through a lot but it’s nice to see you smiling again. Both of you.”

Daryl felt Y/N’s hand at the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair and he couldn’t help his smile. He knew he hadn’t been doing great in Alexandria, but he also knew he would have done much worse without her there with him to help him through everything.

It wasn’t that he hated the place, like so many people seemed to think. It was more like the place hated him, no matter Y/N took the time to repeat him a million times how that was not true. People had been staring at him, looking at him weird since they arrived…because they were curious, Y/N would always say, but still it made his skin itch.

The place was the best chance of survival for his family, sure, with the tall walls and what not, but it felt strange anyway…the place, the people… he couldn’t fit in there. It felt like back in his old town, or in that quarry when he first met most of the people that strangely enough would become his family, even like back in the Greene’s farm. Back then he’d felt like an outsider, like he didn’t belong, like the people there didn’t want him around, and now all those feelings were threatening to creep back into his head day in day out, no matter Y/N always came to shoo them away.

Daryl had tried, for his family. They deserved that place, they deserved to be safe and fed, and sheltered from all danger, they deserved to have a life. They had gone through so much already.

His family liked Alexandria. They hadn’t trust it at first, of course, but eventually, they had settled in while it seemed he couldn’t. It’d worried him, even if he wouldn’t say it aloud, not wanting to make a fool out of himself. But some part of him had worried thinking that they were going to grow tired of him, or realize they didn’t need him, or wanted him, they would find better people, and he’d be forgotten. If that’d have happened, then he could have always taken his bike and leave that place, drive far away alone…but the idea made him feel like someone was ripping his heart out of his chest.

Somehow he had become dependant of those people, of who now Daryl called his family. Merle would have laughed at him for sure, at how weak he was, how dependent of others. Daryl himself still berated himself for it too sometimes, but those voices were getting weaker and weaker.

Y/N seemed to have noticed how he felt without him saying anything, though, reassuring him again and again how he had nothing to worry about until Daryl almost believed it.

Aaron, the Alexandrian that had brought them in, had tried to help him too, Daryl still didn’t know why. He would always say how Daryl didn’t belong out there but in Alexandria, though Daryl wasn’t sure he believed it. Aaron had found him a job that got him out of Alexandria, looking for people with him, and for that Daryl was grateful. Sometimes that place felt like too much, the walls felt too constricting, his mood would spiral down out of control and he feared he’d end up lashing out at Y/N when she was just trying to help or he’d push her away from him out of moodiness. Being out helped, made him feel better, and Y/N knew it.

He owed that to Aaron, he was a good man and Daryl had found himself thinking of him as a friend. Aaron’s boyfriend, Eric, too. And the doctor, Denise. Those were good people. They made it easier to stop feeling out of place, not matter sometimes he still woke up with the urge to just get on his bike and drive far away from there, on his own again.

But Y/N would be curled up next to him and he couldn’t leave her, couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t tear himself away from her, the thought of not being with her made his stomach clench. Couldn’t do it to his family, either. And if he was honest, he didn’t want to, no matter what Merle’s voice told him or how he laughed at him, the idea of never seeing his family again hurt. It made him feel weak sometimes, silly even, but most times the feeling kept him going, he had a purpose, to keep his family safe.

“You call that a smile?” Rick nodded at Daryl. “I know for sure that you can make him smile bigger when you really try.”

Daryl fought the urge to roll his eyes at his friend again. It seemed Rick had found an endless source of amusement at teasing him about his feelings for Y/N, even back at the prison, even before Daryl himself had made sense of what he was feeling and had come to terms with it. Granted, there hadn’t been much time for teasing and joking after the Governor came back to the prison, after everything that happened then…but Daryl didn’t want to think about it now and he focused on the feeling of Y/N’s fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

It was then, after Terminus, after he almost lost everyone again after just finding them, and almost lost his own life, that he and Y/N had gotten together, officially together he supposed. He had “had a crush” on her, like Rick and Carol loved to say to tease him, long before that though.

But no matter if he tried, Daryl couldn’t really pinpoint the moment in which he realized his feelings for her were changing, growing in an unexpected way.  He caught himself smiling not only at her but at the thought of her, staring at her while she went with her life around the prison. His heart would skip a beat when she looked back at him, his stomach would do funny things when she talked to him, offered to help him around or just kept him company.

It had scared him and it had made him feel like an idiot. He had kicked himself about it, tried to get himself together, tried to stay away from her, but he couldn’t. Now he was glad he hadn’t, though, Y/N was the best thing that had happened to him and he knew it.

He still couldn’t make his head about Y/N feeling like him and reciprocating his feelings. Carol had always been telling him Y/N liked him too and to go for it, but Daryl couldn’t believe it and the idea of having to admit his feelings to Y/N made his mouth dry and made him want to hide in the woods. The fact that Carol and Rick seemed to have noticed it had been bad enough.

So, when that first night after Terminus Y/N had gone to curl up with him as she had done before a few times, but she had cupped his face with her hands to gently bring his lips to hers, Daryl couldn’t believe it. His heart had gone crazy, he had been paralyzed, couldn’t even kiss her back. He had been terrified, but when he had looked at Y/N, somehow his fear had gone away and he had found the courage to kiss her.  Her smile against his lips, the way in which her eyes lighted when she pulled back to look at him like he was something worth looking at like that, made  him feel like floating, gave him everything he needed to whisper to her all his feelings, all his fears, everything that he kept buried inside him.

They had done that for each other since then, taking care of each other, supporting each other. More Y/N for him than him for her, Daryl felt. She had made him keep going, he wasn’t sure if he’d have been able to do it without her. After he lost Beth, after he almost lost the others to thirst, starvation, exposure, walkers, without him being able to help them. He had had Y/N by his side and that had kept him going, had kept him sane.

Daryl couldn’t stop himself from turning his head to look back at Y/N with a growing smile on his face.

“No, see, he’s smiling too,” Y/N said, running her knuckles over Daryl’s cheekbone and looking at him in that way that took his breath away, made him feel more loved than he had ever felt, made him still wonder how someone could look at him like that. “But yeah, I can make him smile bigger, but you would have to leave us alone.”

Rick let out a big laugh at that, Y/N joining him. Daryl scoffed, embarrassed, shaking his head and pulling away from Y/N’s hand to slump into his seat. Still, when he heard Y/N’s giggle and noticed his hand sneaking around his seat to find his hand and squeeze it softly, he couldn’t help his own smile.

It took them a while of driving until Daryl spotted a warehouse ahead.

“There.”

He pointed it at Rick, making him turn the car abruptly and speed up towards it. For someone who had been a cop, Rick liked to drive his car as fast as Daryl’d liked to drive his bike. Y/N had pointed it out once to tease Rick and since then Daryl had stolen it from her so he’d have something to tease him about when he was trying to embarrass him back.

The place seemed deserted when they parked the car, no walkers on sight, but still they looked around cautiously as they got out of the vehicle. Nobody seemed to be around, dead or alive.

Y/N came from behind Daryl, taking his hand to lace their fingers.

“Did I embarrass you too much?” She asked, a fond smile on her face, and Daryl couldn’t help but smile back.

“The usual.” He shrugged and Y/N giggled softly.

“I like to see you happy like this.”

Daryl pulled her closer to press a soft kiss to her forehead. Rick was right, she always managed to make him smile, no matter how down he might be feeling she always made him feel better.

“You two are gonna follow me and focus on this or what?” Rick called from ahead, amused. “I’m going to have to regret having told you to come with us, Y/N, you’re distracting him too much, I’m not taking you with us again.”

Daryl scoffed, hating how he was blushing once again and glaring at his friend, but Y/N just laughed and rushed to Rick, pulling Daryl behind her, still holding his hand.

“No! I was so excited when I was told to join the pros on a run! You can’t leave me behind, great leader!” Probably she was trying to sound dramatic but she just sounded amused, and if you asked Daryl, adorable. Rick snorted, rolling his eyes at her.“I was so happy to join you guys, you always go out only the two of you alone, I was starting to wonder if I should get worried…”

Daryl scoffed but Rick couldn’t help but laugh.

“Come on,” he nodded towards the warehouse, an amused smile still on his face. “This place seems empty and there are no walkers around.”

“Lucky us.”

*

They hadn’t been lucky, the warehouse hadn’t been as empty as it had seemed at first sight, there had been men inside, well hidden, waiting until they had them where they wanted them. When Daryl felt the barrel of a gun pressing against his temple he wondered if Rick had been right and he had let himself be distracted by Y/N too much. He should have been more careful, he should have checked the place more and better, he should have realized sooner that they weren’t alone, and certainly he shouldn’t have allowed them to split.

“Don’t you dare.” The man warned when he noticed Daryl trying to take his gun.

“Move away from him!”

All hope Daryl had had of Y/N being hiding somewhere broke when he heard her voice and saw her stepping in front of them, pointing her gun at the man. Daryl wanted to yell at her to run away from there but he knew she wouldn’t listen, he wouldn’t either if he were in her place.

“Sweetheart, lower that gun or I put a bullet into his head.” The man replied, his gun pressing harder against Daryl’s head. Y/N’s eyes were lit with rage but Daryl could see the fear in them too, the way in which her hand shook. “No? Are you going to shoot? See who’s faster, you or I? Alright.”

“No, no, wait.” Y/N said and Daryl shook his head no when she dropped her gun.

For a second, Daryl wondered about trying to fight against the man, though probably he’d be dead the second he moved. But he had to do something. Then, another man stepped in, gun pointed at Y/N and fear gripped Daryl’s heart. They’d kill her too. He had to do something, but he couldn’t think of anything, didn’t know what to do.

His last hope was Rick and that died too when a couple man walked him to them, guns pointed to his head too.

Daryl forced himself to keep it together, to keep his head cold, he needed it if he wanted to get Y/N out of there alive. She seemed to be holding herself better than him, though, he saw her looking from men to men, surveying them as if trying to make a plan on her head.

When her eyes landed on his, Daryl nodded ever so softly, trying to reassure her that everything would be fine even though he couldn’t believe it, even though he was scared to death thinking those men were going to kill Y/N and Rick in front of him and he couldn’t do anything to stop them.

Y/N nodded back before looking at Rick. It wasn’t the first time they had been attacked, they had gotten themselves out of similar situations before, they could almost communicate with each other without words, just by looks. But still, it had never been like this, with all them being held by gunpoint and without any backup.

Daryl didn’t have any ideas about how to get them out of there, but he had to do something.

He began to turn around to try and throw himself at the man, half expecting to be shot in a second, but instead of that he hit his head hard with the gun, making him feel dizzy, his vision going blurry, a trail of blood sliding down the side of his face, and then the man pushed him onto the floor.

“Hey! Leave him alone!”

Daryl heard Y/N growling and as his head stopped spinning he saw the man holding her pushing her onto her knees too. He gripped her hair, holding her in place and pressing his gun to the back of her head, looking at Daryl. Daryl was shaking of rage but he got the message and he didn’t try to move again. Tears of fear and anger burned his eyes and he bit his lip until it bled to stop himself from crying, from saying anything, from doing anything that could get Y/N killed.

“Stop!” Rick’s voice commanded. “What do you want?”

“What do you have?”

“Nothing, we came here to scavenge for things.”

“Bad luck.”

“We have a car.” Y/N interrupted the conversation. “Parked outside, full of fuel, you can have it, and the stuff we have inside.” Daryl looked at her, wondering what she was doing. “You can go and check.”

The men looked at each other for a couple seconds and then one of them nodded.

“Alright, you’re coming.” The man yanked her up onto her feet again and pushed her in front of him, holding the gun to her head. “If it’s a trap or something, I’m killing you.”

Daryl growled but before he could try to move again Y/N shot him a warning look and Rick shook his head at him ever so slightly. He tried to calm down, even though he was terrified for Y/N, but he also knew there was nothing he could do. At least now Y/N was taking away one of the men, Daryl could only hope he wouldn’t hurt her.

As they stepped out of the warehouse Daryl could hear the voice of the man loudly saying he’d kill Y/N if someone else was outside and tried something. When the door closed behind them Daryl felt his scared heart beating faster and faster until he felt it was going to jump out of his mouth. He couldn’t do anything, seconds felt like hours and he still didn’t know what to do, Rick wasn’t telling him anything, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He was about to try to throw himself to the man again, not caring if it ended up with him being shot dead, when he heard a couple of shots coming from outside. His blood froze in his veins, fear gripping his heart as images of the man shooting Y/N flooded his mind, paralyzing him.

“Daryl!”

Rick’s voice, urging him, forced him back to his senses. The men had lowered their guard at the gunshots, and Rick had taken advantage of it to throw himself at closer two and was now struggling with them, skillfully disarming one of them and shooting the other with the gun he’d just taken.

Daryl moved just in time when the man holding him down pressed the trigger, the bullet just grazing his shoulder, but he didn’t feel the pain, tackling the man to the ground, hitting his head hard against the floor. The man stopped struggling and Daryl didn’t care if he was dead or unconscious.

He looked up to see if Rick needed any help just in time to see him shot dead the other man. Besides a bloody nose and a bruised cheekbone, he seemed good enough and so Daryl rushed onto his feet and run towards the door.

There was a gunshot behind him, Rick putting down the other man, and then he was running behind him too.

Daryl opened the door and found Y/N near the car, knelt down next the body of the remaining men, who was dead on the floor with Y/N’s knife embedded into his throat.

“Y/N! Y/N, you alright?!” He asked frantically, reaching out to help her up. “Are you hurt?”

“You made it.”

Y/N looked up, smiling weakly from him to Rick and then back at him. Daryl felt sick at the sight of the thin thread of blood that dripped from the corner of her mouth, his panic getting out of control as he noticed how weak she sounded, how pale she was, the sweat that covered her pained face. “It’s okay…I’m gonna need more than a band-aid, though…”

She groaned in pain when she tried to take Daryl’s hands and when she moved Daryl saw how the side of her shirt was wet with blood. He dropped onto his knees and lifted her shirt, horrified to find more and more blood pouring from a bullet wound at her side. The man had shot her, he had really shot her.

Daryl couldn’t breathe.

--

Thank you all for reading! If you have time, please drop me a comment and let me know your thoughts about this! Kind of nervous about the Daryl’s pov.

If you want to be tagged (or removed from the tags) let me know!

@momc95  @jodiereedus22@osweetdevilo @sapphire1727 @coffeebooksandfandom @the-destielr @checkintoreality @daddys-little-princess67 @sesshomaru-lover @crossbowking @coltcas @feartheendlesssummer @izumi37  @gruffle1 @cutiepiemimi13  @drina365 @kuolematkorjaavat  @daeshaunex2   @xtinkersimsx @stressed-lasagna  @phantom-fangirl-stuff  @teenyforestfairy @yenne-yen-illustrations  @mychemicalimagines  @hyphymanatee   @nikkipea @crazycatladyalustriel  @miniprz @wolfkg  @paybackbarnes @haleypearce @nikki082489  @dotslabyrinth @mtngirlforever @superflannel @blckbuttler @deanervs   @linktheloveabledork

[pony-boy21]

June 28, 2019 - First Journal into ED recovery

“I feel fat” 

[Think back to a time you “felt fat,” wite about what was going on right before you had that feeling. What were you doing? Who were you with? What other feelings were you having that you can identify? To see what else might be there, try to replace the word “fat” with any other word such as “angry,” “scared,” or “overwhelmed.”]

Last night, Stephan had just left for work, I was alone. This was not the first time but had just recently started his overnight shifts from 11pm-7am so it was still a process I was learning to become okay with. I was watching Rowan, pacing back and forth, gazing over to the basket that hangs which is full of fruit, some veggies, and other odd foods. The thoughts of what to eat were eating away at me and completely encapsulated my every thought. I was starving, hell, I always am to be quite frank. The thoughts of what to eat were starting to cause major anxiety. I could feel it in my bones, I could feel my heart beat faster, my thoughts were racing faster than I could make a decision. I noticed I was making a mental list, a list that consisted of calories in each of the items I was maybe attempting to possibly eat, what were the reasons of wanting one food over the other. It had been well over 5 minutes and I had yet to make a decision. I was instantly triggered, I am very addictive to restricting, and knowing all too well I had consumed only 4 small salads plus whatever I put on it which came out to no more than 150 calories each. I calculated, and I was already over the 500 calories I had allowed for the day. There it was, there was ever so controlling thought, “I am fat” quickly entered my mind like a soldier showing up for battle. I didn’t have the mental capacity to think about fighting it, I have been bowing down to these thoughts for 12 years, what is another moment going to hurt, right? The real feelings of being a failure that I didn’t stick to a goal, again. The fact that I was alone, and felt lonely. Don’t get me wrong I do like my alone time, but I no longer know how to be with myself in a healthy way. It’s just something that I never wanted to address to this very moment, hence why I am deciding to go to a facility that is more specialized in eating disorders. I have never really tried to actually recover on my own, and I still have an addictive personality with my illness, oh Adam you have taken so much of my time, energy, happiness, and my personality.

I felt out of control at that moment, the hunger was very real and tugging at every neuron that is still functional in my brain. I did the unspeakable, in my head Adam was like “you’re fat, you need to binge and purge now!!” He was yelling at me, I felt so lost, I quickly started to pace more and more, my body was ready for the digestion process; the accumulation of saliva was happening so quickly, and unfortunately I was fighting with every breath in my body to the natural process of eating. Knowing I would consume food, which would trigger the “I am fat” thought, leading down the dark path of ridding my body of the food,  I couldn’t do this again, I hated doing this, but I surrendered.  The idea of feeling out of control consumed every fiber of my being in that very moment. The uneventful escapade took all of 15 minutes to consume 4 pieces of toast, 3 bowls of cereal, and a whole bunch of pretzels and dip. I wanted to cry after eating all this food, but I couldn’t I wasn’t allowed. It was a sign of weakness, and that was something that Adam was so much against.  I eventually purged everything from that cycle of binging, there it was, the feeling of euphoria, how high I felt was what I longed for, I don’t like to admit it, but yes it’s the harsh reality of also being addicted to that feeling.  I was instantly brought back to the present with a pressure headache. I tried to sit down and recover, but again the thought didn’t dissipate.

Rowan had been asleep for quite some time now, feelings of being a failure was ever so present now, knowing all too well how far my addition was pulling me in. Adam quickly showed up again, this time pissed. I was still in a slightly euphoric state of mind. “You fat piece of shit” spun around in my head was what was left in my head at the end of it all. That thought stayed there, lingering as if a piece of fecal matter that wouldn’t flush down the toilet. It had left me exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally for the rest of the night. Being scared, lonely and afraid were all real thoughts that were there but too masked in my eating disorder.

Knowing I am choosing recovery is not just what I need but what I want not just for myself but for my family. I am not too sure what this journey is going to be like, and I will have many unrealistic expectations, fears, failures, trials, and errors but I shouldn’t give up.

I know just the simple sentence of “I am fat” is an unrealistic idea, and the fact that its not a feeling at all but to be honest you don’t see that in an eating disorder, and silently suffering for 12 years, it becomes so ingrained into your mind you, unfortunately, don’t give a shit about the true feelings, you become more and sicker as the days go by, you lose your way, your self every waking moment. Most days you want to give up, and sometimes there is a glimpse of hope but it seems too far away, or maybe not even worth it. For myself, it just never seemed worth it to recover. I thought I was/ still do that this illness will kill me before my body can even be ravished by old age, good memories, unforgettable journeys.  

I have to admit I am sick, and I can’t be ashamed, even though I do feel that way. I want to cry even just reading the line “I am sick” it becomes so real, and fucking scary! I have decided to take on recovery at the Eating Disorder Treatment Center here in Albuquerque, which is the real first step in this process.

I fall asleep to the side of, or even the thought of putting myself in a vulnerable position to ask for help and let people into my world of Adam.  Overwhelming is not even a word I can use to describe it, and even the thought of unlocking the true identity of who “Wyley” is without him is all too real and seems to be happening too fast. I want to run away and hide in this very moment and keep doing what I am used to doing but I think these are all normal feelings and habits of individuals as myself who suffer from this crazy mental health illness.

[cracks-and-chaos]

A Unique Chrysanthemum

Transcribed from Vogue Vol. 17, Issue 2 (Jan 10, 1901): xii

If you think this a paper on the newest species of the Japanese flower, you were never more in error, for it is all about a white dog, of whom we can never speak without prefacing the word dear. Just before his advent into our circle, we devoted a large garden space to cultivating chrysanthemums. In due season these decorative flowers were gathered to embellish the house on the occasion of grandmother’s golden wedding anniversary. 

A day or two previous to this festal occasion, a friend presented us with a little Maltese poodle. His soft white coat, like crinkled silk, fell over his eyes like a cascade, until one wondered that he could see anything. But nothing escaped his notice, and when his eyes failed, his acute sense of smell helped him out. Such sweetness of temper, such roguishness of action were rarely combined in such a small dog before.

The morning of the festival there was much ado in gathering the flowers. It was great fun to break the long stems, and stack the great round basket full of the glorious colors. When filled, the children took turns in carrying the basket into the house. No one enjoyed the bustle more than the dog. Such scampering and barking, and such fun dodging feet. The children had a hard time keeping the stems safe, for the dog would make little bounds into the air to try to seize them with his teeth. The last to be gathered were the great pearly whit chrysanthemums, and as we came to the basket, our arms full o the white crinkly petalled flowers the dog ran ahead, and jumping into the basket, sat looking at us with all the bravado possible. His little round head covered with the kinky wite hair, looking for all the world like a huge white chrysanthemum. The dog did not budge, and we stacked our flowers around him. He must have been tired out with his exertions of the morning, or he never would have sat still so long. Surrounded by an admiring group, he was carried with great glee to the house, and jumped out at Grandma’s feet. The children shrieked with delight to see Grandma’s start of surprise, for to her it seemed as if the chrysanthemums had suddenly been given life, and were hopping out of the basket to greet her on this great day of her life. From that hour the dog had a name, and though he is now old, and enjoying life mainly from the outlook of the sofa cushions, he still answers to the name of Chrysanthemum. 

He loved us all, but the four-year-old baby was his especial pet and favorite. Chrysanthemum learned many pretty tricks. He could beg and jump through a hoop, catch a bit of meat, and play dead to perfection, but it did not seem as if he had a thought in the world beyond the pure joy of living and being petted. We never dreamed as we watched him chasing butterflies in the spring or scampering around the heels of Star, our bay mare that he ever had a serious thought in his head or that to him we would soon owe almost everything in life that we held dear. 

Chrysanthemum’s worst deed was performed one windy day in April. We have long since forgiven him everything and only tell of his little peccadilloes to show his fun-loving nature. It was Monday and the clothes hung out on the line. A light wind was blowing the slightly swaying line, with its burden of flapping socks, dresses sheets table napery and what not, was too irresistible for Chrysanthemum’s buoyant nature. For some time I had been hearing little barks of joy, I supposed he was yapping at Sandy’s heels, a favorite pastime. Something at last drew me to the window and there I beheld Chrysanthemum with the end of a treasured tea-cloth in his mouth, rushing to and fro as the wind caught the sail-like cloth. Several tattered garments and sheets blew merrily in the wind as evidence of his play. Needless to say this delightful sport was abruptly ended. 

The Fourth of July was an inferno for poor Chrysanthemum. Every cracker that exploded caused him a nervous shudder and even the crack of a torpedo caused him a fright, while if any one pointed a toy pistol at him, he gave vent to the most melancholy howls. Toward evening he skulked away to a dark retreat, where the scorn of the children could not follow him. He was declared a coward and soon forgotten in the excitement of the beautiful fireworks which followed in the evening. Later we had reason to change our opinion, for during the night I was awakened by Chrysanthemum’s barking, to find that the house was afire. The household was awakened and the children, wrapped in the bedding, were carried out and seated on a garden bench with the nurse. 

The fire gained rapidly and as we emerged for the last time the stairs were well on fire. A frantic bark arrested us and there at the top of the stair we caught a glimpse of Chrysanthemum, barking wildly. His master ordered him to come down, but he only barked the louder, and if ever a dog tried to talk he did. A cloud of smoke passed over him, hiding him, which was too much for his master, who, seizing a great robe from the doorstep, rushed upstairs, burning as they were, and tried to seize the little dog, but Chrysanthemum grasped him by the trouser and tried to drag him down the hall. After a few agonizing moments I saw the master come running down the stairs, still clad in his great robe which I saw covering a bundle. As he rushed out of the house he flung the burning robe from him and there lay our precious four-year-old and--Chrysanthemum. 

The baby was unharmed, but Chrysanthemum’s white coat, the pride of his life, was scorched and blackened. He lay like one dead, and it was days before the little dog recovered and months before the silky hair resumed its glossy appearance. How it happened we could never explain, except that every one being absorbed in the fire did not notice the sleepy baby who thought bed was best and had wandered back up the stairs and into her bed. It was brave Chrysanthemum who found her missing and tracked her by his faithful little nose up the stairs and to the nursery. A larger dog would have rescued her himself, but our little hero was too small, and did the next best thing in barking for help. But for Chrysanthemum, we should all have been burned to death, and then escaping, we should have lost our darling wee one, but for him again.

Yesterday a coward, to-day a hero, as morning dawned, he lay limply on the soft cushion provided, and as we crowded around in loving admiration of the little dog’s courage, he feebly licked the baby’s hand, and his beautiful expressive eyes seemed to say, “You are all here; then I am happy.” 

[ky21]

Happy Birthday @illysum

It’s early, but I really wanted to post this so you and @chibiwriter could read it and prepare yourselves for seeing me n person soon!

For the rest of my followers, ignore this trash--it’s a terrible, rushed writing of an anime that you all need to experience if you haven’t (Uta-Pri)

Enjoy, my friends (If we still are after reading this)

Haruka sighed, staring with her lifeless eyes at the parchment before her that read only a single line, “Dear Grandma,”.

She couldn’t think of the words to describe her past few hours since she’d last wrote to her grandma. She instead turned her attention to another blank sheet of paper, except this one wasn’t completely blank—lines lined the paper, where notes were meant to be drawn onto.

Music sheets that she hadn’t touched in hours. Shining wanted another star, golden-record-making song for STARISH, but Haruka just couldn’t find the inspiration in her mind to write that perfect tune. She turned back to her Grandmother’s letter, continuing on about the hardships of writing songs, and how dearly she missed her Grandmother.

And the charming boys of her dormitory, of course. Haruka blushed, clutching her hands between her breasts that forced the folds in her shirt to tighten, accentuating them. She could feel her heart pounding, just thinking of her comrades.

There was no knock at the door as it was forcefully swung open. Haruka, still clutching to her chest, jumped, startled, at the intrusion. Her papers flew across the room, spreading about the floor. Blushing furiously, Haruka apologized, only to then notice that the intruder was in fact Ittoki. His face was as red as his hair, staring at Haruka’s hands and subsequent chest. Haruka noticed his eyes and quickly threw her hands to her side, furiously apologizing before bending down to pick up the spread-out papers. Ittoki, equally as embarrassed, bent to join her.

“I-I’m sorry to have intruded!” Ittoki blurted, while Haruka bowed her head, hiding her flushed face. She couldn’t find her voice to say it was fine, and before she knew it their hands had met over a single paper they both had reached for.

Ittoki felt the rush of blood into his bulge at the mere touch of Haruka’s creamy, steamy flesh.

Her eyes slowly raised to meet his, gliding over his crotch and noticing the tent being pitched. This caused them both to grow redder in the face, and Haruka retracted her hand quickly.

“I-I’m sorry!” She squeaked.

Ittoki, however, had bit his lip. His urge was too strong, and seeing Haruka in this light of the moonlight, glowing like the moon, he couldn’t pass up this moment. He crawled forward, forcing Haruka back onto her behind and palms, causing her to gasp at his boldness. His member pressed through his khakis, brushing against Haruka’s things as he situated himself over her.

They both were stunned into silence as moments passed, neither moving. Haruka’s lips parted ever so slightly, an invitation that Ittoki meant to accept. He lowered his face, meaning to meet her plum-like lips with his own, before stopping himself.

“I’m sorry, is this too sudden?”

Haruka hesitated, despite her body screaming, “No! Not at all!”

But, this hesitation caused Ittoki to panic, and he quickly through himself off her.

“Has the sheepdog, or rather puppy, been rejected by the little lamb? Perhaps a wolf can tame her.”

Both Ittoki and Haruka jerked their heads to the open doorway, where Ren stood. Naturally, he was shirtless and glistening after a shower he’d just taken, leaving his body wet. Only a towel covered him modestly around the waist, as well as an undone tie around his neck. His hair was soaking with water and clung to her shoulders and neck. Ittoki, shamed, backed slightly to the side as Ren approached Haruka, crouching in front of her sprawled figure with his knees spread. At just the right angle, with the towel stretched across his thighs just right, she could almost see…

Suddenly, Ren has pulled the loose tie from his own neck, wrapping it around Haruka’s instead. He used it to pull her face closer to his own, and with his free hand stroked her surprised, quivering bottom lip.

Ren leaned in closer, daring to give Haruka a Careless Whisper of a compliment, before they were interrupted.

“Oi! Let Haruka alone so she can finish witing our next big hit!”

Everyone turned to find Ichinose in the doorway, scowling at Ren. He was disgusted at how exposed the saxophone-wielding seductive soprano (He might not actually be a soprano, but the alliteration works) was, especially towards his—or rather, STARISH’s—song composer. Ichinose entered the room, ignoring his roommate Ittoki, who still was sprawled on his back, attempting to hide the throbbing in his pants, and pushed Ren to the side, and away from Haruka’s space. In one swift motion, Ichinose gripped Haruka’s arm and pulled her to her feet, with such force that she flew into his chest, hitting her chest against his solid abdomen.

Haruka gasped at the collision, not suspecting such a fit figure underneath the uniform Ichinose wore, and he too was taken aback by the plumpness of her chest. Her balance shifted, nearly being lost, but Ichinose supported her back with his hand, the other still gripping her wrist. They were pulled in so closely, she could feel his breadth mingle with her own. Her eyes traveled from his eyes to his luscious hair—perfectly gelled and disheveled—only to return to his eyes and then drop to his lips.

They were so close…

“Haru-chan!”

Everyone jumped as Natsuki entered the room, brushing past Ichinose and stealing Haruka from his grip. The tall blonde lifted her into the air, swinging her pure joy exuding from his laughter.

“You’re so cute, I just had to stop by and hold you!”

Haruka was stunned silent.

Syo was a step behind, furiously shouting at Natsuki.

“You can’t just lift Haruka like a doll!”

“But she is like one!” Natsuki leaned in closely, his nose nearly touching Haruka’s own. “You’re just like a doll-I just want to play with you, Haru-chan!”

Haruka didn’t know her face could get any redder, but it did. Syo, the only one within earshot of such a line, was so furious, he swatted at Natsuki, scolding the taller blonde for being so brash.

Unfortunately, this caused Natsuki’s glasses to fall from his face.

Suddenly, everyone froze.

In a flash, Na-chan’s demeanor switched completely.

Satsuki had arrived.

Haruka was suddenly dipped, as if in a dance, and Satsuki’s piercing gaze looked deep into her eyes.

“Just like a doll…ready to be undressed and played with, and treated gently…like not one of these boys present could do.”

This caused everyone to jump into an anger, springing forth to protect Haruka from the bold Satsuki. Syo was the first to yank Haruka back, turning his back to Satsuki to shield Haruka against his chest.

“I won’t let you touch Haruka!”

Haruka felt warm within Syo’s embrace, her head suddenly becoming light-headed.

Ichinose dove for Natsuki’s glasses, while Ren gripped at his towel to prevent it from falling, stepping beside Ichinose to provide back up for reapplying the glasses. Ittoki, recovering from his raging boner, was finally able to stand and join Syo in protecting Haruka.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Haruka!”

Suddenly, the French doors to the balcony blew open with the wind, and pink petals slowed in. In a shower of sparkles, and as if in slow motion, the curtains flowed and everyone watched in awe as a small shadow sprung forth into the room—a cat.

Haruka’s eyes, like the eyes of a fish at market waiting to be bought, were captivated by a single flower that floated before her, that she didn’t even notice as the shadow, a cat, transformed into the tanned, bold body of Cecil.

No one was prepared as Cecil gripped Haruka’s unsuspecting, open hand and yanked her after him onto the balcony. Before anyone could react, Cecil lead the two in a jump from the balcony, and before Haruka could let out even a gasp, the two had landed in on a tree branch.

Or, rather, Cecil had landed perfectly onto a branch with Haruka curled in his arms.

“I wanted you all to myself!”

Haruka, speechless from the moment everything had begun happening, was stunned as Cecil leaned in, meaning to connect their lips. However, the two were startled by the neighing of a horse. Cecil lost his balance, and while he was able to recover himself, Haruka slipped from his grip. He was shocked as she fell, only to be caught in the saddle and grip of one Camus.

“These peasants do not deserve you. You need someone who…. can do better.”

Camus pulled at the reigns, leading his majestic horse away from the tree and the prying eyes and shouts from the balcony above. Haruka, frozen in the saddle, was unprepared as Camus settled a hand against her thigh. His face still read as disinterested, but his body language seemed to suggest otherwise.

Something, however, startled the horse, and it reared back. Camus cursed and Haruka found herself again falling, this time into the arms of Reiji. Before Haruka could react, he winked at her, revealed a trick from his sleeve of a fake mouse that caused Camus’ horse to further trot backwards, uneased.

“R-Reiji?”

“I want to take you somewhere in my car!” Reiji commanded, setting Haruka down and pulling her after him. They crossed only a few yards of the lawn before running, literally, into a jogging figure. Haruka, colliding with the figure, fell to the ground, her obstacle falling on top of her.

When she opened her eyes, she found Ran to be topping her, just as surprised as she was.

“R-Ran? Why aren’t you practicing your guitar?”

Ran didn’t adjust his expression in the slightest, grunting a response that seemed to answer nonetheless that he was merely out for a run.

“Should I examine her for any head injuries?”

The present company jumped at the monotoned voice of Ai joining them. He crouched beside Haruka, just as Ran lifted himself off of her, and set his hand upon her forehead.

“Her vitals seem fine.”

Haruka gazed into his eyes; so robotic, yet emotional.

STARISH had now joined them, racing in a panic and calling out Haruka’s name. Camus, now horseless, also had reappeared, peeved at his own teammates.

“Don’t touch Haruka in any…weird way!” Ittoki blurted.

“You’re one to talk,” Ren added.

“Put some clothes on!” Syo shouted.

It was at this moment that the ground began to rumble, and from a giant crack in the earth appeared HEAVENS, posed as if about to perform for a concert.

“Haruka! Come write songs for us!”

Haruka, stunned silent, was suddenly yanked back by Ichinose, who declared.

“Right, that’s not happening.”

“There’s too much tension! We have to settle it somehow!” Reiji pouted.

“I say…with Haruka’s permission…we all sleep with Haruka!”

There was a moment of silence, and everyone’s eyes turned to Haruka. She didn’t know what to say, thinking only of her love for everyone individually.

“But…who gets to go first?” Na-chan asked quietly.

“Haruka should decide.” Ren muttered.

Camus nodded, but looked displeased in doing so.

“I��.I can’t possibly choose between any of you! You’re all so…wonderful, and special, in your own ways… Perhaps, if in another life, I had multiply chances and options to chose paths of which to follow that lead me to each of you individually, I might…but, then again, that’s silly…”

“-sounds like an Otome game,” Syo muttered.

Ittoki stepped forward, gripping Haruka’s hands.

“Then take all of us.”

“Huh?” Everyone gawked in unison.

“At once, I mean. We all love you and share you, just as you love and share us. So, let’s not put an order to things, or force you to choose. Let’s all love you…equally, and at once.”

Haruka’s eyes shined with excitement at the proposal, and for once everyone seemed to be in agreeance, if only because it brought happiness to Haruka.

“What about us?!” Eichi yelled from HEAVEN’s pedestal.

“Only Eiji. And Kira, if he doesn’t say anything.”

“Kira doesn’t say anything ever anyway?!”

“Exactly,” Ichinose professed.

And sound, all of STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT and the two least rape-y members of HEAVENS strolled back to the dormitory, where music and love and passion mingled in what can only be described as a construction of sex….a sex swing of sorts.

Tomo was chuffed to hear about the adventure the following night, but was invited by Haruka from then on out and happily joined. And from that very first night, amidst the sounds of their love-making, passion and overflow of orgasms, Haruka found the music she had been searching for, and from it…

“LUCKY 1300% LOVE REVOLUTION” was composed, and was so amazing, the world itself had an infinite amount of orgasms that impregnated multiply women and cleared the skin and souls of many others.

And Haruka wrote everything in excruciating detail to her grandmother, who as always, never wrote back.

Because secretly she has been dead for years, and Haruka writes to this figment of her imaginary living grandma as a form of therapy to overcome her illness that left her with crippling anxiety where she once upon a time couldn’t even walk the streets without crouching mid-crosswalk in panic and terror from.

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

Reflections

Word count: no idea, i'm just gonna wite this.

Summary: after feeling depressed and lonely Cade just needs some fresh air and a place to think. But what will happen when she runs into a certain ghost boy?

Characters: Danny Fenton/Phantom and Cade Ellings (no smut or fluff. Friendship, confiding, angst)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tears splattered dully on her bedsheets.

She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle this consuming feeling of loneliness and invisibility. She couldn't handle the sadness nor the obscured weight upon her shoulders, that dragged her down everyday like chains. She didn't WANT to handle it.

Brown hair damp from salty tears and black eyes shut from her grey room as she realized with a hitch in her breath that she had to get out. Without hesitating she got up from her ruined bed and went to the window. Undoing the latches and opening up the indirect entrance, she breathed a sigh of relief as the oncoming summer air washed over her.

Opening obsidian eyes, she climbed through, and climbed up the fire escape to the roof of her apartment building. Careful as to watch her footing as she climbed.

Warm wind rushed through her brown hair, as if invisible hands were stroking it, as she continued to climb up and up. And once she reached the roof she turned around to face the city lights of Amity Park.

A relived sigh escaped her parched lips. And a small smile soon graced it. The lights inside the buildings twinkled with an unnatural beauty; making it seem like stars came to live on Earth. Cade sat down on the rooftops ledge, drawing a leg up to her chest and resting her head against it.

She watched the world pass and the light's shine She watched and gazed at the icy stars while grinning at their beauty that they held so effortlessly. And Cade just sat there for what seemed like hours. Not caring if someone saw her or not, as she began to softly sing a song that she fondly remembered; only knowing that it was one that comforted her in her darkest times.

"Have you ever like nobody was there?

Have you ever felt forgotten, in the middle of nowhere?

Have you ever felt like you could disappear?

Like you could fall, and no one would hear?

Well, let that lonely feeling wash away

Maybe there's a reason, to believe you'll be okay.

Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand

You can reach, reach out your hand

And ooooh someone will come running

And i know, they'll take you home

Even when the dark comes crashing through

When you friend to carry you

And when you're broken on the ground,

You will be found.

So let sun come streaming in

Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again

Lift your head and look around.

You will be found."

Cade stopped singing, and watched the city lights quietly. When all of a sudden, a soft, unfamilar voice came out of nowhere.

"What's that song called?"

Cade let out a yelp of surprise and nearly fell off of the ledge, her heart racing a hundred miles a second. In her state of surprise Cade whipped around to see who had spoken and saw..... no one. Her brow furrowed in confusion. She could have sworn that she had heard someone. When she had swept her head around to find who was there, the same voice was heard again.

"Um, i'm up here." Cade's head snapped upwards, and her onyx eyes widened. There floating above her head, in his black and white suit, was Danny Phantom. Shining green eyes sparkling with amusement and a beaming lopsided grin.

Meanwhile, Cade felt the color drain from her face. Not only was there the infamous ghost boy of her town flying above her, but he had heard her SINGING. Her face flushed with embarassement and she tried to hide it behind her hands.

The ghost, seeing that she had become nervous and embarassed, started to ramble.

"Not- not that i heard- heard you singing or- or anything! It's just that i- just that i have heard that -that, uh, song before!" Cade peeked out from behind her hair and hands, and a shy smile parted her lips. The ghost was blushing a bright green and he kept waving his hands around. His floating faltered in the middle of his rambling, but he didn't seem to notice. "And -and you seem to know it pretty- uh- pretty well! So...what's..it um. Called?" He finished. He had changed from a confident and strong hero, to a shy and fumbling teenager in less that two minutes. Cade smiled.

"It's called You Will Be Found. And it's from my Dear Evan Hansen, if you're wondering."

"O-oh! Okay then."

They fell into awkward silence. That was before the ghost started to talk again.

"S-so, if you don't mind me asking, but why are you up here?" Cade glanced down and started to rub her hands, a habit out of nervousness that she never grew out of. She could feel a lump forming in her throat before she even began to speak.

"I've just been having a rough day. And i wanted to get out." She looked up from her hands and saw that the ghost had a look of, something, on his face. Cade didn't know what it was, she never saw it before.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked in a soft voice. And without knowing what she was doing, her head nodded.

She turned around on the ledge and returned to her original position, the ghost not following her far behind as he came over to sit by Cade. Once he did, she noticed that the air became considerably cooler and that it had become slightly brighter. The ghost sat crisscross and rested his chin on one of his palms, looking at Cade, waiting for her to start. Cade took a deep breath and began.

"I'm so tired. I'm just, so exhausted all the time. Somedays, i wonder if getting out of bed is worth it or if i should just stay where i am. I'm tired of people, and how horrible they can be. I'm tired of worrying and of my heart racing every second of the day. It's horrible! It sucks!

And i can never sleep well anymore. I try as hard as i might, but i can't. My grades are so bad right now, that i have given up on trying to save them. That's what's happened to me. I've given up.

I'm so lonely all the time, that i feel invisible. That no one will notice me even if i fall down. It's as if i don't exist. And it HURTS. it's hurts so bad. As if there's this whole insode of my chest that refuses to be filled.

And I know that some days will be brighter. And i know that i will come out okay when this is all over. But some days.....Some days i just want to run away from everything and never look back."

The air had become silent. Nothing made a noise. Cade felt her fingers aching and she realized that she had been clenching the edge of the stone ledge. She released her grip on the poor building and held her hands in her lap. She refused to look at the ghostly hero; too afraid and embarassed to face him. No one said anything. Or at least no one did.

"It does suck." The ghost boy said. Cade looked up at him and met his green eyes. She noticed that they no longer sparkled, but had became dark. His smile was no longer there, and it was replaced with a blank, determined expression. He didn't look like a boy who she didn't know anymore, but had become someone that she knew. For he had the same expression as her. He knew what it felt like. To be invisible. To be tired. To be lonely. He knew it just as much as she did.

"It's horrible. This lonely road you're walking, is only going to get worse and it's going to suck. But you what i think? I think that you will fight this. You have been for so long, that it's okay to fall down every once in a while. It's okay to rest and cry. Because you don't have to always be strong."

Tears started to form in Cade's eyes once more, and her vision became blurry as she tried to keep seeing the white haired boy.

"And you said so yourself. That when you do fall down, you will be found." She couldn't help it anymore. Cade wept and cried as she relished in the comfort of those words. And as she was crying, the boy who she reflected, gently pulled her into a hug that she so desperately needed. She cried into his shoulder, and didn't stop until she could cry no more and her head was pounding with a headache. She withdrew from the embrace and wiped her eyes on her already damp sleeves.

When she opened them again, she was met with a gentle smile and a kind face.

"Better?" He asked in a whisper. Cade nodded and wiped her eyes and nose again. "Thank you." She mouthed. A sad smile broke across her face as the ghost boy stood up.

"Will you be okay if i leave? Or do you not want to be alone?"

"I'll be fine. Thank you, Phantom." He shook his head.

"No. Call me Danny." And with that said he floated into the sky full of lights and blinked out of sight.

And as he flew away, Cade began to understand what that expression he had was. It was the expression one wore around a friend.

[jaredkleinmanisanerd]

Could you write a fic with the prompt “Stop being so cute.”? (I don't know if you want a specific character but if its directed at Evan then that would be cool~ )

I did this with tree bros, I hope that was okay!

Evan’s fingers shake as he spins the dial on his locker,groaning when he overshoots the third number and has to start inputting thecombination all over again. One to theleft to 18, two to the right to 3, three to the left to 45. He sucks in adeep breath before trying to pull his locker door open. It makes a horriblemetal-on-metal screeching noise, but it pops open nonetheless, revealing messybinders stuffed to the brim with crumpled loose leaf and battered textbookslittered with tiny doodles of dicks. In Evan’s history textbook, one of theprevious owners used the eyes and nose of every pictured historical figure as abase for drawing a dick. While Evan can appreciate the effort there, the factthat he has to scramble to cover up his book whenever a teacher passes by hisdesk does nothing to help his anxiety and he wishes that he could Wite-Out thecopious amounts of male genitalia, but that would probably end in him having topay to replace the textbook and his comfort is not worth a couple hundred dollars.

A tiny scrap of paper flutters out, landing on the stickyhallway floor. Probably another one of the notes Jared has taken to slipping inhis lockers between classes. They usually involve dick jokes or sarcasticcommentary on Evan’s behavior during their shared chemistry class—becauseapparently Evan needs to be told how pathetic it was when he dumped watereddown hydrochloric acid on his hands and refused to tell the teacher, preferringinstead to let his hands tingle uncomfortably until he could wash them afterclass—or whatever juicy piece of gossip that’s been circulating through thestudent body. He sighs as he leans over and collects the paper off the floor,bracing himself for a sentence or two on how ridiculous Evan looked when he wasstartled by a loud noise and nearly dropped his beaker.

Instead, he finds a barely legible phrase scrawled in themessiest chicken scratch Evan has ever seen. The writing looks like it waserased and rewritten about a dozen times, making it seem like whoever penned itwasn’t sure how to phrase what they were trying to say—or whether they shouldsay it at all.

Evan gets hung up on the word “stop” for a moment—he doesn’tdo much of anything, so there’s really nothing for him to stop doing. Exceptbreathing or eating. Maybe the way he chews is really offensive to somebody? Itprobably is—Evan definitely looks gross when he’s eating. He should probablystop eating at school. He’ll just…make up for it at breakfast and dinner. It’llbe fine. He doesn’t need anyone leaving hate notes about how he chewed with hismouth open at lunch one day; that would make the already stressful task ofgoing to school even worse. Then, he continues through the note and lets out aquiet, amused huff. Someone must have gotten someone else’s locker number mixedup with his.

Stop being so cute,it reads.

The girl to his right seems like the type to have a secretadmirer, so he looks around the empty hallway before sliding it into one of thecut outs in her locker door, glad that a) nobody felt the need to leave him amessage about how gross he looks while he eats and b) he could return the noteto its intended recipient without much fuss. He’s gotten a few notes meant forthe girl with the locker beside him—he even got one of her carnations on Valentine’sDay of freshman year, which was a whole awkward ordeal that ended in hertelling him he could keep the flower. The flower died a slow, dreary death inan old water bottle on the dresser in his room, but it was nice while itlasted. Sometimes he could almost pretend that someone had sent him a carnation—thatsomeone could like him enough to do something like that for him.

But, of course, Evan’s not a total idiot, so he’s realizedthat’s never going to happen. Not in high school, at least. It’s alreadyJanuary of his junior year and he’s yet to make any friends besides Jared—and maybeAlana, if you’re willing to stretch the definition of “friend” some. Andneither of them seem particularly interested in being his friend, let aloneanything more than that. So, yeah, Evan’s not going to be getting any cutenotes or carnations in his locker that are anything but an accident becausesome well-meaning kid mistook his locker for someone else’s.

Evan grabs his copy of Othellofrom his locker, wincing at the loud ripping noise the cover makes as the bookslips out from its tight spot between his trig textbook and his Spanish binder.He slams his locker door shut before heading to the library to sneak bites ofhis peanut butter sandwich while he studies for the quiz he has next period onthe first act of the play.

Over the next few weeks, Evan starts getting a lot of notesfor the girl with the locker next to him. They’re usually something sweet like you have a really nice voice or do you have any idea how gorgeous you are ora small doodle of a flower or a bunny or something cute like that. Every timeEvan gets a note, he dutifully slips into his neighbor’s locker, wishing thatwhoever’s leaving these notes would realize that they’re putting them in thewrong locker and stop. Because, as much as Evan enjoys reading the sweet thingsthis girl’s secret admirer writes, it makes him feel kind of…skeevy for readingsomething so nice and personal that’s not meant for him. It feels like he’sintruding on a private moment, but neither of the people having the privatemoment realize that he’s there, so he’s just there, awkwardly witnessingeverything without any way to leave without being spotted.

A week before Valentine’s Day, Evan decides he needs to sortout this whole getting someone else’s notes thing. He wouldn’t be surprised ifthis secret admirer was planning to send this girl carnations, and Evan doesn’tneed a repeat of freshman year, thanks very much. Tracking her down to try toget her the flower that accidentally went to him was a lot of work and made himanxious as hell for the whole week after that because he was worried shethought he was a crazy stalker, or something.

Evan’s noticed that the notes tend to appear sometimebetween fourth period and lunch, so he decides to leave a note for the mysteryperson explaining that this is not, in fact, that girl’s locker but her was thefirst one to the right, so if whoever it was could start leaving the notes inthe correct locker, that would be great.

He folds up the piece of loose leaf he wrote his message onand places it so that it’s peeking out of his locker, just enough so that thenote writer will notice it when they’re slipping their note in, but not enoughthat it’ll fall onto the floor or that some random passerby will notice andtake it.

As Evan leaves to go to trig class, he feels almost sad thathe won’t get to see the notes anymore. They were the bright spot of his schoolday. Which is stupid because none of them were about him, none of them were forhim, but sometimes it felt like they were. Like there was someone in thisschool who looked at Evan and saw someone worth liking instead of a high strung,anxious mess who couldn’t do a presentation without crying or throwing upbeforehand and shaking hands or shuffling feet during. Like there was someonein this school who actually noticed Evan.

When he returns from trig class, his note is no longersticking out of his locker and Evan feels a lot less relieved than he wasexpecting. It takes him four tries to get his locker open, fingers too clumsyto get the combination right, and when he finally yanks open the locker door, anote comes flying out like it did the first time so many weeks ago. Evan picksit up, expecting it to be something like “oh, my bad, dude” or “why’d you waitthis long to tell me, asshole.” He deserves the second one. He should’ve left anote telling the person that they had the wrong longer the moment he realizedthe notes were becoming a daily thing. But he didn’t. Because Evan Hansen is anasshole with no regard for other people’s feelings.

He unfolds the note, bracing himself for the worst.

I don’t have the wronglocker, it reads. I thoughtputting these notes in your locker would make it obvious that these are for youbut I guess not.

P.S. you look gorgeoustoday, Evan Hansen

Evan stares at the note for a while before closing hislocker gently and slipping the note in his pocket. He walks to the library in adaze, completely oblivious to the boy with the long hair and the bad attitudefrom his AP Language class watching him from his own locker, lips quirking upinto a small smile.