#i just got my second one scheduled
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hi im back
#i didnt go anywhere i just got really lazy#as it turns out doing two art months back to back is not good for your spirit#you dont get to see the other one go fuck yourself#anyways back to your regularly scheduled murder drones stuff#btw if you steal my stuff again then you s Prepare.#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones v kinda#murder drones cyn#murder drones tessa#combining like 12 seperate headcanons into “tessa wanted to matchmake them but she sucks at matchmaking”#nobody here is good at romancing. cyn doesnt even know what a romance is#art#im so bad at posing i hate that fucking second panel i might go and redo it entirely cause looking at it makes me boil
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we cant have that "do you think people are gonna name their kids after fandom names?" post/joke like what tf am i gonna do? Name a child "brain"??
like ah yea, "meet my kids "ode" & "cog" theyre twins ❤️"
#“hi guys!! this is my child. count eleven :D”#we got Charlotte theres one#we cant use juno atlas artemis or apollo thats just already half the population of cj fans names#juno the second/j#or would it be the 3rd? cos of heart? or even the 4th from the og#wait thats not how that works tf am i talking about#funf fact its 5:58am for me rn#i can think#chonny jash#its now 2am 4 days later when im finally posting this#shit schedule 🔥#moss post
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It's waldy
Futur water too but not done
#welcome home#partycoffin#wally darling#welcome home arg#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#ive had these for a teeny wally#while* uhhh wally stop invading my brain i did NOT mean to type wally but uh yeah#had future wally like that for ages already and uhhh my motivation is realyyy poopy and sucks aw man#ill make a second look for future wally too becuz idk blehhhh#i dunno wut else 2 say OH YEAH got a therapy appointment on aug 5 ANDDD my b day is on augist 28 yayyayay ANDDD one of my aunts suport me#ANDDD uh idk my sleep schedule sucks#im awake at 7AM i didnt sleep at alllllll aw darn#im soooo excited cuz clown said welcome home and i went yippieeee#i get ideas but then my brain makes me forget over and over so its a littleeee frustrating but dw ill just doodle like uh#cats with human faces or sumthin idk#wut do i dooooooo aaaaaaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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soccer club shenanigans! also, don't mind the alt uniforms, these were drawn while I was writing and while they're not exactly fic art they share the vibe
#inazuma eleven go#first is just with the fic vibe and second is while planning for that scene but before writing so it's not an exact match#I'm posting stuff in random order from drafts lol I keep forgetting things I've saved up#everything feels kinda out of place and outdated but that's what happens when you try to pace posts instead of posting everything right away#like. okay this is fic stuff I should post another fic stuff next too? but there's older thinga I want to post too#and what if the beta uodate comes suddenly? got one thing I wanna post before that but how badly would that screw up the schedule#sorry for the rambles overthinking is my third name (not thinking at all is the second. I got only those two moods)#own art
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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Eris: You're right
Sona: That is an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
#hey yall little update#got super sick right before second round of midterms#then had to catch up#and then finals#but i just finished my last one for the semester!#so hopefully we will be back to our regular schedule👍#hope everyones doing good#gearbreakers#eris shindanai#sona steelcrest#incorrect quotes
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born to say um, no, that's ridiculous that a team of three editors decided another major part of my piece needed to be changed by ME and not by THEM, the editors, when i already changed a major part for legitimate reasons and i could have been told about this last week when the editing was happening. forced to say okay!
#my piece is about events the first one had to be changed because i got the schedule wrong and wrote about something that would be over by#the time the issue came out 😐 the second one they just do not like what i wrote about so they want me to write about another#different event. haha#thoughts
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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so would dog man use they/them pronouns. since its the guy and the dog combined
#rys.txt#i'm thinking like that meme where venom says “our pronouns are they/them not because we're nonbinary but because we're two people”#idrk much about dog man i haven't read it but my brother does. its dav pilkey so its probably pretty good#i just know the basics of dog man's origin and that its getting a movie adaptation like next year#can i be real for a second. i really want to see a second captain underpants movie the first one went really fucking hard#i hit post limit at like 6:30 pm again for the third day in a row but i thought of this post almost immediately after so i'm scheduling it#i think i've got a problem i should not be hitting post limit this fast
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Song of the Day: February 23
“Inkpot Gods” by The Amazing Devil
#song of the day#'if I don't make it back from where I've gone / just know I loved you all along'#I'm setting up my queue for a more proper recommendation tomorrow but I've been rereading 'shoulder the sky' by Night_Fury#the whole series draws from various Amazing Devil lines for titles and such#'back then I was dauntless' is my favorite reworking of the Melidaan arc I've ever seen absolutely anywhere#and the title is a line from my favorite Amazing Devil song 'The Calling' but 'Inkpot Gods' is used to stunning effect in-story#and the beautiful refrain from the end of the song is playing in my head now as I keep going into the series#today was a deeply unpleasant day: the inevitable finally happened and Duncan cut himself doing his mudlarking#we'd been trying to schedule a preventative tetanus shot but several times we've gone in for the properly scheduled shot#and found out that they didn't actually have one in stock. unspeakably frustrating#and today we ran out of time for a preventative one. I woke up#(actually I woke up for work as he was going out for his walk but I got a migraine halfway through my morning meeting--no good--#and took the rest of the day off--turns out to have been a very good thing--and went back to sleep. so I woke up the second time)#to Duncan coming back from his walk with a sliced finger and the grody plastic-and-tin swan that had done the slicing#(picture of said swan under the cut because why not. it does look neat. can't see the sharp edge in the pic though it's underneath)#and so then we called the pharmacy and got the same automated 'of course you can have a tetanus shot' as ever so we made an appointment#and we got there and they did actually have a shot in stock this time! except that they weren't able to administer it#because now he's post-exposure that's a different shot and they aren't allowed. so we had to go to the urgent care instead#all told we spent about four hours out of the house on this mission but Duncan did get his shot and some bonus antibiotic goo for the cut#and it was worth it but also bleeeeeeegh it was miserable. which is where my recommendations do come in#when I tell y'all that I spent today reading Night_Fury's fics and also looking at valiants' CoD art and it saved me#whooo I mean it. being simultaneously stressed + bored is the nightmare state for me and instead I had wonderful things in my phone
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I can't sleep again.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#лёва паспрабуе АДК#it's not about that. i'm just tired.#(stayed up too late for the first time in a while)#well... it compounded the issues.#i look like some guy with my blurry vision and yet its not enough and i dont know WHY#i do know why. have you ever not been seen?#flipped the coin from independence within my grasp to nothing is ever going to get me out of here#not even 'getting out of there' got me out#i can't wait for guard season again but i'm worried it's only going to put me right back into the depression mines#... seasonal depression notwithstanding#i need to make a choice at auditions and its whether i will be out; as me - and hopefully have a better season because of it#or just... stay like this. forever.#... my consult is right before second auditions pretty much. schedule that month is looking full..#anyways its not fair of me to expect anyone to check in on me#especially when one of my housemates seems to ... Also be going through it#and i can tell you now which of us is actually likely to talk about it and its NOT me#i'm not built for this idk. i never should have taken her up on that job offer.#...... i'm thinking about relapsing again. more seriously considering it.#i KNOW it's not good i KNOW it won't help but i dont know what fucking else will!!!!#remember when it felt like i was getting hobbies again?? so much for that..#.. i need to pull life into my *own* control but i need help to get there#and i can't even imagine being fully independent#... even if i'm taking all the right steps to get there#the MOST annoying revelation was that i could Maybe Actually benefit from therapy and the second most was that if i tell her this there is#almost no way any therapist she finds will be queer friendly#going to dig myself out of it. as always. mostly just not pushing myself right now but GOD does it suck.
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All my gems gone.
Dried up.
Shii, iroha, and Kuroe took me to a back alley and beat me up, then Shii called Shizuka, Livia, Sayaka, & Shigure to all point and laugh at me and then left me on the ground, threw a singular slot for each of them and then they all left to go get sweets and tea with the gems they just got from me….
1 Shii, 1 iroKuroe, 1 copy of each respective memo
1, Shizuka, 1 Livia, 1 Sayaka, 1 Shigure. There were some other single repeat memos I already have MLB
But yeah… pretty bad. I would say kind of tied for IroMado. I mean at least with iromado I got 4 slotted with innocent gems and destiny crystals…
Idk I have two innocents gems I could use. I thought about using them on scene zero Madoka but now idk. But I sadly wouldn’t get their max EX bonus anyway so I may hold onto them until I get a third innocent gem.
And Shii is super cool and super good I’m sad they are stuck at one slot what the hell 😭😭😭
My pics are usually higher res. But I recorded my reaction, so these are screenshots from a video that was taken on OBS. I uh- don’t want to post the video cause I was mean to Sayaka when she showed up and i regret it lol😭😂😂 I was pretty sad and silent the whole video after Livia appeared. I accepted my fate that my gacha luck dried up with Historia yachiyo coming from a single 10 pull. Couldn’t let that slide could ya f4….
#technically I got two copies of IrohaKuro’s memos but it’s funnier when I say one of everything#magia record#also it’s 5 am y’all I-#I stayed up and destroyed my sleep schedule and for what???#I also can’t bring myself to buy another inno gem#I might#I mean#they did give us 2 new fragments#so#clearly they are planning on giving another free one when we collect 6 again#hopefully haha#unless those were just to make up for the people who never got to play the first auto mirrors#… if you’re curious what I said to Sayaka when she showed up I instinctively said ‘i Hope you die I’m the movie’ AND THAT IS NOT TRUE I WAS#JUST UPSET I WANTER HER TO BE SECOND PROTAGONIST. a deuteragonist if you will#wellllll second to Madoka. homu. and walpy…. lol#okay so by that logic she would not be second but I feel like she’s gonna have an important roll.#the people love Sayaka we saw the love she got s2e1 of magia record. the cool new bandages in the movie trailer? I see big moves forSayaka#okay anyway goodnight lol
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afa;ldf;lakdflk;asdf urgh sorry i've been MIA i unexpectedly got super busy with the grant and my grand rounds and having to pick up shifts for people with emergencies/illnesses/moving PLUS my 'graduation' is tomorrow so i'm all over the place AHHHHH
#... AND fellowship number 2 starts in literally 12 days WHY DONT I HAVE MY SCHEDULE YET#i really REALLY wanted to finish the path to paradise by end of june but honestly i dont think that's happening#the most batshit thing i did on monday is cover for a shift at hospital A from 8am-6pm then cover a shift at hospital B from 8pm to 7am.#and they were both INSANELY busy#the first is just a consult shift so it wasn't too bad#but the second is my icu community shift and GOD#this person coded at 2am and i probably didn't leave her side until at least 5 am#its just INSANE. INSANE that i didn't get called before she coded#like i think the reason all my codes at this hospital get ROSC is because these people would NEVER have coded at the academic one#and this is FAR from the first time this has happened#you. you let this woman. sit on the floor. with BPs in the 70s. for HOW long? you left this OTHER woman completely obtunded on a bipap?!?!?#for DAYS?!?!??!?! WITHOUT TALKING TO THE ICU?! AND ONLY CALLED WHEN THEY GOT HYPOTENSIVE?!#this is horrifying. like legitimately. must be nice to practice shit medicine and when your patient crashes just wipe your hands and let#the icu doc deal with the fallout#i realize i signed up for this#but it always feels crappy when i can't tell families 'yeah no the reason your loved one is dying is probably because they were mismanaged'#and i'm gonna keep it real with you chief. its the racism too#hospital A is in the rich part of the city#hospital B is close to the border with mexico#less densely populated/less desirable areas hire less desirable doctors (all staff really)#its often like 30% people who care about the community#and 70% of people who can't get jobs elsewhere#and the economic disparity even between branches of the SAME HOSPITAL SYSTEM is staggering#healthcare in america is a fucking joke#also. like.#in rich person hospital A monday#got a consult for this guy who is a 'medical mystery'#seen at a bunch of different hospitals by a lot of different doctors#...and i'm 90% sure the way he got his lung disease is by crushing up pain and/or anxiety meds and injecting them#but see the reason no one suspects this. is because he's a wealthy white man
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga
#for me it uh. tends to have more epic lows than epic highs. im very unlucky with shounen#occasionally a few years after something i start reading it'll turn out to be good#but any time i follow something from the beginning it starts getting. worse#is it me? am i doing this? dont tell me to read your favourite shounen i'll turn it bad#did i ever mention that one manga. the moon is beautiful but first die#a mouthful of a title. it started kinda goofy but i really adored the main character for some reason#im still a bit attached to him. he cleans so well that he got the magic power to see real good. and now he can matrix bullet time#hes just like me for reeeeeeeaaaal hflkanjvdkfljfds but yeah that manga was. weird but fun BUT THEN#it got so wack you guys you dont understand. the first like one or two volumes? fun#everything else? god knows JHKFDJFDK i still read it all tho. i was invested in my guy with seeing real good powers#and im sorry to say. unfortunately it seems. a certain manga with a big tv adaptation that is pronounced oh she no co#my curse. its started. although that ones very much a epic high and epic low situation like itll be so so wack one minute#and suddenly get good again and then plummet back down HFKJDSBHJds we will see how it goes on#i started getting annoyed with the writing after the stageplay arc because they kept like. time skipping over so much#which i thought was a bit of a waste because there was a lot of interesting potential in a lot of the showbiz storylines. but we shall see#thats not shounen tho thats seinen but my curse applies to some seinen too LOL but most seinen i read is already finished#and shoujosei is spared from my curse. i think just because most i have the opportunity to read in english just tends to not#be drawn out or have weird scheduling things messing with the pacing. are there any weekly shoujosei magazines out there#i dont think weekly manga is good. for a lot of reasons mostly the mangakas health but also i find more weekly stuff i read#that isnt like. 4koma stuff suffers in its pacing a LOT. but again that might be my curse. the second i lay my eyes on it. the curse#(sorry ive been catching up on a lot of manga recently LOL ur getting my manga thoughts now)
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