#i just finished a report that took me all day soBS

[jellori]

Dawn have a boyfriend in the future?"

*shrug*

[peachdues]

Phantasmagoria (Part II)

Tell Me to Stop (Sanemi’s Version)

Sanemi x F!Reader • Modern AU • NSFW

A/N: read the fucking warnings before you report.

Massive TW: grief • loss of a parent • canon character death • drug and alcohol abuse • panic attacks • implied attempted sexual assault (not described, happens off-page • non-consensual photos being texted around (very briefly described, and then it’s just a mention of a bite mark) • violence between characters • brief description of Douma getting his face pounded in (deserved)

CW: 14k words. MDNI. explicit sexual content ahead (opens mid-fuck) • creampies • oral (f! and m!receiving) • rough oral • throat fucking • cum eating • ass-smacking • hate(?)fucking • toxic ass FWB • swearing • angst

I promise Part III will have angst BUT also lots of fluff/intimacy/care.

Without further ado!

Three weeks had passed since Sanemi first brought her home with him when Y/N realized she was utterly fucked.

Sure, at that moment, the platinum-haired man had her bent over his kitchen table, arms pinned behind her back as he pounded mercilessly into her, but she realized that she was also fucked because nothing had ever or would ever compare to the way Sanemi made her feel.

It had started only as an occurrence whenever they were out at night, with Y/N tugging Sanemi into Kizuki’s seedy bathroom to bounce against his lap. Sanemi had been forced to muffle his groans by sucking harshly on her breast as he fucked her against the bathroom wall, only for her to succinctly pull off him the moment he finished to return to her friends, Shinobu discretely handing her a napkin to wipe the remnants of his pleasure as it dripped down her thighs.

Then, she started letting him bring her back to his apartment from the various clubs and bars their groups visited. She grew content to let him lay her over the side of his bed to swirl that sinful tongue around her needy, demanding clit as his thick fingers steadily pumped in and out of her aching cunt while he fucked her mouth, his seed spilling down her throat with a force that threatened to obliterate any dwindling part of her that had not been utterly consumed by him.

But that still had not been enough for Y/N — or for Sanemi, apparently.

Because their late-night trysts had quickly evolved into near-daily rendezvouses, both stone-cold sober and texting each other in the middle of the day, in desperate need to feel the other’s body pressed flush against their own. And as wrong as it was, Y/N loved it; she craved it more than any pretty Wisteria pill or sticky fruity drink.

Because all it took was one taste for Y/N to end up right back in the scarred palm of Sanemi Shinazugawa’s hand, begging him to fuck her back to life.

And fuck her he did. The top of her sundress had been pulled down to her waist, and the wooden grain of his kitchen table bit into her bare breasts as Sanemi’s hips slapped roughly against her ass. Y/N was close to sobbing because god, it felt fucking good when he got rough with her like that, when he made her feel anything other than the crippling numbness that seemed to spread through her with each passing day.

He released her arms to lean forward and ghost his lips up her spine, all the way to the back of her neck, and Y/N came hard, just like she did every time they came together because Sanemi knew how to set every nerve in her body on fire with his addicting touch and addicting kiss.

One rough hand made its way under her jaw to twist her head back so he could claim her lips with his, coming as he did so, his groan of pleasure muffled by Y/N sliding her tongue into his mouth.

She hated how much she loved him.

—————————————————————————

They’d been sleeping together for nearly a month when Sanemi decided to test her patience.

“So, are we gonna talk about it?” Y/N cringed, because no, she most certainly did not want to talk about it; not then, not ever, and especially not with him.

“Why would we?” She responded flippantly, twirling the straw in the dregs of her drink. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Bullshit,” Sanemi snapped at her. “You’ve spent the last two years running away from us, and you think there’s nothing to talk about?”

Y/N met his stare hard, her own returning glare cold. “Running implies effort.”

“D’you really think I didn’t try to find you?” Sanemi grabbed her wrist, keeping her from getting up and leaving the bar. “But god forbid you be vulnerable, huh?”

————————————————————————-

“Oh, God forbid you be vulnerable, ‘Nemi,” Y/N gave him an exaggerated eye roll as she leaned her head against Kyojuro’s shoulder.

“You’re sayin’ you would let yourself get that…close with someone?” Sanemi argued, and with a sigh, Kyojuro paused the movie.

They weren’t supposed to be watching a movie with such steamy scenes, but Y/N’s mother had stepped out to cover a shift for a friend, and the trio of teenagers had been left without supervision.

Really, the movie hadn’t been that bad; but the film’s shining sex scene had been several minutes long, each of the teenagers shifting uncomfortably on the couch as the sound of moans filled the basement where they’d gathered to watch.

The scene had passed, but Y/N’s and Sanemi’s argument over a particular detail had not.

“If you’re already having sex, why does it matter what position it’s in?” Y/N half shrieked with laughter as both boys turned scarlet. “Isn’t intimacy the whole point?”

Sanemi turned his face away, embarrassed. “All I’m sayin’ is I don’t think I’d ever let a woman have that much power over me.” Sanemi was referring to the way the female character had climbed atop the love interest and began riding him, her head tipped back as loud, lascivious moans fell from her lips.

It was Kyo’s turn to laugh. “You’d have to get a woman in that position, to begin with, Shinazugawa.”

Sanemi made a disgruntled sound. “Bro code says you’re supposed to be on my side, Rengoku,”

Beneath where her cheek lay, Kyojuro vibrated as he laughed heartily. “I’m not saying I’m not! Just that you’ve got a few steps to take before you have to worry about it.”

“Worry about being too vulnerable,” Y/N screwed her eyes up and stuck her tongue out on the last word as she teased him, settling back in against the couch as she grabbed the remote from Kyo’s hand and re-started the movie.

—————————————————————————

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Y/N said frostily, stomping away from the bar and from him.

She didn’t know why she tried to run away from him, not when it was so pointless. Because an hour later, Y/N found herself on the edge of Sanemi’s bed, as he hooked her legs over his muscled shoulders. Face buried deep in her cunt, he lifted her off the mattress, suspending her mid-air and upside down as he ravished her while she sobbed for him to do more, to give her more until she could not possibly take anything else from him.

Perhaps he was punishing her; maybe she deserved it. All Y/N knew, as Sanemi finally tore his mouth away from her weeping core and flipped her onto her knees before slamming her back on his steely length, was that if this was her punishment for loving Sanemi Shinazugawa, she would gladly take it.   

The last thing she thought, as Sanemi spilled into her for the second time that evening, thumb swirling her clit and his teeth buried in her neck, was that she was grateful to be on birth control.

—————————————————————————

“Do you like doing that?” Kyojuro’s voice was hesitant over the vibration of the music and laughter of drunken revelers gathered to let loose on the Kizuki dancefloor, and Y/N had to lean closer to hear him at all.

Y/N frowned slightly as she pushed her dissolving Wisteria to her cheek. “It’s just a recreational thing, while we’re out, y’know?”

She didn’t know why she was explaining herself to him, or why she felt like she had to, but Kyojuro had always been one of the few people who could pull the truth out of her with little effort, and in the back of her mind, she knew that made him dangerous. After all, he might get her to confess that she’d missed his smile or missed the blazing heat of Sanemi’s stare whenever she spoke.

Kyojuro reached out and brushed a lock of her hair that had fallen loose from one of her space buns behind her ear. “You were always so straight-edge. I guess I’m just surprised.”

Y/N wanted to smack his hand away but found herself leaning into the steadying warmth of his touch. “Things change, I suppose.”

Kyojuro winced, and his eyes filled with a sadness that was too out of place here in this den of debauchery. “Where did it all go wrong, Y/N? What happened?”

It all went wrong when Sanemi and Genya’s parents were killed in that car crash, making the boys wards of the state who were then bounced around from foster home to foster home. It all went wrong when Genya defended another boy in a fight that wasn’t his to begin with and ended up dead on a sidewalk. It all went wrong when Sanemi lashed out at her and condemned her with a few choice words that seemed grossly disproportionate to what she’d actually said. It all went wrong when Kyojuro decided that being there for Sanemi meant he had to abandon her, too, and then they’d both forgotten about her while she’d lost everything.

But Y/N couldn’t unload all of that right then. “Things change, Kyojuro.” She repeated, though her voice was slightly weaker than it had been, wobbling slightly in a way that Y/N knew meant she would cry if given long enough.

“But you’re our friend, Y/N-” Kyojuro pled, but it was the wrong thing to say, and he cringed as he watched her clam up almost instantly.

—————————————————————————

“She’s our friend!” Kyojuro said hotly, though, with his missing front tooth, it was hard to see him as anything but adorable, even as he glowered at the sneering girl, as he helped Y/N stand up from where she’d been knocked over.

“What a weirdo!” Ume, the small, white-haired girl who always looked like she smelled something unpleasant, reached to yank one of Y/N’s pigtails harshly, causing her to cry out in pain. “And you’re ugly, too!”

Y/N had only been trying to join in on Ume’s tea party that she held with the other girls in their class. But when she’d boldly tried to sit down amongst them, the cruel little girl had shoved her harshly out of the circle they’d formed on the blacktop,

Kyojuro smacked the beastly little girl’s hand away. “Hit her again, and I’ll make you sorry!” He threatened, and for once, the girl had the wits to look slightly intimidated at the blonde who towered over her.

“If you hit me, I’ll tell my brother on you!” The troll hissed, but it did little to cow Kyojuro, who shouldered past her as he steered the softly crying Y/N away from the horrid little group of girls.

“Y/N, are you okay?” The blonde asked worriedly after they were out of sight of Ume, turning her around to look her over.

“I-I just w-wanted to be t-their friend!” Y/N hiccupped, her tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “But they were s-so mean!”

Kyojuro pat her head, just like he did with his baby brother. “You don’t want to be their friend, Y/N,” he said kindly. “Not when they’re so mean. Stick with me and Sanemi! We’ll always look after you!”

Y/N wiped her eyes and tugged at her loose pigtail, all messed from Ume’s harsh grip. “Do you promise?”

Kyojuro smiled as brightly as the sun. “I promise! I will always be here to watch after you – whenever you need me! I’ll be there!”

—————————————————————————

Y/N patted the warm brawn of Kyojuro’s shoulder sympathetically. “I was, Kyo,” her use of his nickname somehow made him hurt more, his mouth wobbling somewhat as his eyes mirrored the resignation in hers. “But it’s just as I said,”

Y/N reached for Mitsuri’s discarded drink on the counter and tipped it back, draining the last dregs of alcohol. “Things change.”

—————————————————————————

Y/N was leaning against the counter of the bar, nursing her beer as she watched her pink friend giggle and murmur sweetly to the black-haired boy dancing with her, the latter’s hands hesitantly gripping her friend’s waist.

“You don’t approve?” A familiar voice rose over the pounding bass of the club music from her side. Y/N didn’t have to turn her head to know who’d sidled up next to her – she would know his blistering heat anywhere.

She tapped her fingers against the sweaty side of her glass. “I just don’t know why he won’t make a move,” Y/N said after a long moment, a frown pulling at the corners of her red-painted lips.

Sanemi followed her line of sight and his mouth pressed into a hard line. “Maybe he wants to, but he thinks it’ll just make things worse.” He said after a moment, voice quiet.

Y/N hummed in disagreement. “He’s making it worse by not doing anything at all – he’s made her think it’s her fault things aren’t working out between them.”

“He doesn’t mean to,” Sanemi offered. “He does care about her. More than she realizes.” He watched as Obanai delicately brushed a strand of Mitsuri’s pink hair from her eyes.

Y/N finally rolled her head to the side to look at him, and idly she wondered if her eyes looked as numb as she felt. “If he did, he wouldn’t keep hurting her; wouldn’t have hurt her to begin with.”

Sanemi stared back at her, and it made her heart squeeze to see the faintest trace of pain in his gaze, even in spite of his small smile. “’S not that simple, though.”

She looked away. “It could’ve been,” Y/N took a long sip of her drink, part of her hoping that he couldn’t catch the jaded edge that crept into her voice. “And now all they know how to do is use one another.”

Sanemi’s gaze upon her was uncomfortable, and not just because it felt like he was stripping down every carefully crafted wall she’d erected around herself during their estrangement. The genuine flash of hurt in his eyes made her feel slick, oily, and so very wrong.

The pair watched as the mismatched couple on the dancefloor swayed together, Obanai’s eyes wide the whole time, as though he could not believe he had the good fortune of holding the beautiful, colorful girl in his arms. Y/N tried to feel happy for her friend, but it was difficult, especially when he knew that the night would inevitably end with Mitsuri in tears, lamenting that her dark-haired lover had yet again insisted he was not good enough for her, and he would leave Y/N to pick up the pieces of her friend’s broken heart.

“They should let themselves try,” Sanemi murmured, bringing Y/N’s attention back to him.

In one smooth gulp, Y/N polished off the rest of her drink, the warm buzz of alcohol loosening her tongue. “Trying is for those who haven’t lost hope.” Y/N squared her shoulders and steeled herself to return to the dancefloor once more. “And Mitsuri is about to learn that lesson.”

Later, just as Y/N predicted, Obanai left but Mitsuri did not go with him. As she wrapped an arm around her crying best friend to steer her out of the club, Y/N looked back to Sanemi, still at the bar, and hoped he could see the I told you so in her eyes.

————————————————————————-

It was July, and Sanemi was getting on her last nerves.

“Y/N, you need to stop,” Sanemi’s voice was gruff as his hand closed over her wrist, restraining her from raising the little violet pill to her lips — her second of the night.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. “I didn’t realize you were my father,” she tried to turn away from him, but he caught her shoulder, wrenching her back around and swatting at the hand clutching her key to euphoria.

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” He ignored the way she glared at him, as she watched her pill bounced to the floor and disappeared. “You’re destroying yourself; you know that?”

Y/N’s blood turned to ice in her veins. “It’s none of your business, Shinazugawa,” and he flinched at her use of his surname. “Why do you even care?”

Sanemi almost looked menacing as he stares at her under the flashing strobes of the Kizuki. “You’re my friend.”

————————————————————————-

“Because Sanemi,” Y/N sniffed, “You’re my friend.”

Though Sanemi’s bandages covered most of his face, he could just make out the teary sincerity in the young girl’s eyes as she squeezed his good hand where it lay against his hospital bed.

At that moment, Sanemi had felt guilty for snapping at his long-time best friend. He’d known that she hadn’t meant any harm when she asked him if the multitude of lacerations that now covered the right side of his body were permanent. But Sanemi had woken up to the news that he and Genya were now all alone in the world, and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself; he couldn’t help his need to wallow in the sadness and misery that threatened to suffocate him.

And so, he’d lashed out.

“Tch, who’d wanna be friends with a scarred freak like me?” He snapped back, though the sourness in his gut intensified as the tears slipped faster down Y/N’s cheeks.

“I do,” she insisted. “We’ve been best friends since we were babies.” Amidst the sniffling desperation in her eyes, the first inklings of anger began to shine through. “You can’t just decide to quit being friends! That’s not fair!”

“I don’t care if you have scars!” Y/N’s voice grew more shrill over the slow, steady beeps of the various machines to which Sanemi found himself attached. “I’ve always thought you were…were… pretty!” She sputtered.

For once, Sanemi had been stumped into silence. The young boy found himself suddenly grateful that most of his face was indeed covered by several layers of thick medical gauze, given the way he felt his cheeks heat at Y/N’s furious declaration.

“And I will always want to be your friend!” Y/N finished dramatically, crossing her arms, and flinging herself back in the plastic chair she’d dragged over by his hospital bed.

“All right,” Sanemi murmured, grateful that he could blame the crack in his voice on his impending puberty. “All right. We’re friends.”

“Best friends,” Y/N corrected, though the sparkle had returned to her eyes.

—————————————————————————

Y/N laughed without humor. “You think, because we fuck when we’re high or drunk, that makes us friends?”

Y/N laughed again, and Sanemi’s grip around her wrist tightened. “As I recall, Shinazugawa, it was you who ended our friendship, well before we ever started—” Y/N grimaced. “Whatever this is that we’re doing.”

“We hook up when we’re under the influence. Nothing more.” She finished, coldly.

A flash of hurt flit across his features, almost obscured by the pulsing lights of the club. “I’ve been sober for the last month, Y/N.”

Sanemi’s answer landed harder than she’d anticipated, in no short part because she hadn’t noticed he’d stopped taking Shinobu’s Wisteria, much less stopped drinking while they were all out together. As he said it, however, Y/N recalled the way it had been more than a month since they’d last hooked up at night, with Sanemi responding to her texts only in the morning or early enough in the evening before she’d had the chance to fall under the Wisteria’s magic spell.

In the back of her mind, Y/N knew she should be concerned with the way the Wisteria was beginning to dull her perception and her memory, but she couldn’t find it within her to care at that moment. She only wanted to make the man before her hurt, hurt the way he’d made her hurt for all these months.

But she couldn’t. There were a million insults on her tongue, waiting to be used, and she knew that he could take whatever it was she threw at him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“The sentiment is the same, drunk or sober,” Y/N said, half-heartedly. “We’re not friends. We haven’t been for a long time.”

The pain in Sanemi’s eyes was overshadowed by his own anger, a sure match to her own. “No? So, I’m just a stranger to you, hm?” He took a step closer to her and reached out his hand, gliding it teasingly up her bare arm. “A stranger whom you call and text every day to come and fuck you the way you like it, huh?”

He pulled her close to him, and Y/N let him because he was right, damn him. She craved his touch, his body, more than any tiny purple pill or acidic drink she could spend her money on. She craved him just as surely as she craved air.

But she could not admit that to him, not then, not there. So, Y/N merely breathed, “Yes,” as Sanemi’s hand wrapped under her jaw, his other one tangling in her hair to pull her head back and meet his eyes directly.

Sanemi kissed her, softly, before pulling away to smile ruefully at her. “Then have your pills, Y/N. But you can’t have me, too.”

He released her, and Y/N stepped back, thankful for the dim lighting of the club that concealed her blush. “I don’t need you,” she whispered, though she knew it was a lie. From the look that Sanemi gave her in response, as he retreated towards the bar, she could see he knew it, too.

Y/N sought out Shinobu for another one of her magic pills, but even before she’d allowed it to dissolve on her tongue, Y/N knew something was off. No longer was her world a vibrant array of colors beckoning her to the kaleidoscopic paradise she’d come to love. Instead, the Wisteria crumbled bitterly in her mouth, and no amount of stinging alcohol could chase away its acerbic aftertaste.

She tried to lose herself on the dance floor as she so often did, but it only worsened the sludge that pulsed through her veins.

Beneath the throb of multicolored lights, Y/N felt as though she was suffocating.

Y/N pushed and elbowed her way dizzily through the crush of people on the dance floor, lungs constricting to the point of pain as she struggled to take a breath, her limbs trembling. Her eyes landed on a pair of lilac irises studying her from across the club, and distantly, Y/N noticed how he straightened, his focus lasering in on her as she stumbled towards him.

She couldn’t deny the irony that she was so used to fleeing from him into the sparkling, sweaty array of club-goers, only to find herself desperate to run to him, for safety and comfort, away from the revelers who were suddenly too loud and too close.

He met her halfway, having moved from his place against the bar counter after noticing her distress. With more relief than Y/N knew she should feel, she collapsed against him, grateful for the steely warmth of his arms as they closed protectively around her. In his embrace, she found that she didn’t even mind the way his lips pressed against her damp forehead as he asked whether she was okay.

She wasn’t, and that was his fault to begin with, but he was there, holding her as if she mattered, and Y/N let herself melt.

—————————————————————————

An hour later, she was back in Sanemi’s apartment, crouched over his toilet while the cold tile of his bathroom floor bit into her knees as she heaved up her guts. Sanemi was there, too, seated behind her on the ground while he held her hair in his gentle grip, his free hand rubbing soothing circles into her back.

Between the spasms in her stomach, Y/N wondered if he could see the black sludge of her love for him mixed in with the bile courtesy of Shinobu’s bad Wisteria pill.

————————————————————————-

The next morning, he was yelling at her.

Y/N was confused as to why, exactly, his voice was raised at her, given how gentle he’d been with her the night before; it wasn’t as if she’d been trying to do anything different when he awoke.

She’d just been gathering her things to leave, as she always did. She never stayed after they’d finished, and he knew that — so it wasn’t her fault that he’d woken up and caught her trying to sneak out of his apartment.

“This has gotten out of hand, Y/N. You’re out of control,” Sanemi was blocking his front door, his face hard. If Y/N hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought she saw a hint of concern intermingled with the anger that filled his eyes.

“You were lucky last night that you only had a bad trip — but what if it had been mixed with something? What if Kocho’d made a bad batch?”

Y/N’s head was pounding, and the aftereffects from her the previous night were still echoing through her, twisting her world into something dark.

Sanemi’s raised voice wasn’t helping; not in the slightest.

Y/N felt her hands drift to her head as she covered her ears, her breath quickening as her lungs squeezed and spasmed in her chest.

“Stop,” Y/N pled, but her voice was weak and distant, and utterly drowned out by him.

“You’re killing yourself, don’t you see that?” Sanemi continued hotly. “D’you know how gaunt you look? How frail? This shit is killing you, Y/N.”

“For someone who constantly needs to be in control, you’ve completely lost it.”

“Stop, please, stop,”

“What would your mother think?”

“Stop.” Y/N repeated, and she said it again and again until she was half-screaming it, sobbing as she fell back against the hallway wall of Sanemi’s apartment. Distantly, Y/N recognized she was having a panic attack, and she knew it wasn’t really his fault, but his words had stung nonetheless.

Warm, gentle hands closed around her wrists as Sanemi lowered her hands from her ears and pulled her against his chest.

“Breathe,” he said, hoarsely. “Breathe, Y/N.”

It was too difficult to get a breath down as she gasped against him, his chest bare under the shirt he’d thrown on and failed to button in his haste to stop her before she could run. Beneath the warm skin under her cheek, Sanemi’s heart beat strong and sturdy, a lullaby that soothed the roar in her ears.

“Breathe with me,” Sanemi coaxed, peeling back from her, his hands coming to rest on either side of her head as he pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. He inhaled, deep, for three counts before exhaling, and Y/N found herself falling into sync with him as her erratic heart slowed.

But as the jittery panic beneath her skin eased, a fire ignited in her blood, and suddenly, Y/N found herself boiling with anger.

“How dare you?” She shoved him away harshly, her eyes wild. “Who the fuck gave you the right to bring my mother into this? Don’t act like you suddenly give a shit about her memory.”

Sanemi stumbled back under her push, and he looked remorseful, more guilty than Y/N had ever known him to seem. “Y/N, I –“

“No, shut the fuck up,” She snapped. “I don’t believe you for a second, Sanemi. Not for one fucking second do I believe you care about me or about her at all.”

Y/N paced in front of Sanemi, still situated in front of the only entrance to and exit from his apartment. Fine, if he wanted to keep her in there with him, then he could deal with her rage.

“Not one fucking call,” Y/N began. “Not once did you or Kyojuro bother to check-in. ‘Hey, sorry we haven’t spoken in nine months, but we heard your mom got cancer, and she used to feed us when our parents wouldn’t, so we thought we’d check in and see how she was doing.’” She mimicked, cruelly. “Do you see how fucking simple that could have been?”

Sanemi only stared at her, his eyes an unfathomable mixture of sadness, remorse, and pain.

“But you didn’t,” Y/N said coldly. “You two fucked off and continued your merry little friendship together, so spare me the bullshit.”

“Y/N – Kyojuro cares. I care –“ Sanemi tried, but Y/N cut him off once more.

“Shut the fuck up!” She exploded, her hands flailing in front of her as she tried to push him away from her once more. “You don’t care, you never did! I’m just a warm body for you to fuck and that’s it.”

Y/N finally shoved past him, hand reaching for the door. “Don’t you dare pretend like I mean any more to you than that,” She spat.

She flung his door open, but Sanemi’s hand shot past her, slamming it shut once more. Y/N stood there, facing the door, chest heaving as she struggled to control her anger. “Let me go, Sanemi.” She said stiffly, refusing to turn around, to face him.

Sanemi’s hand found her shoulder and turned her around instead, and before she could blink, his mouth slammed down angrily over hers, his hands gripping her waist tight as his teeth nipped her bottom lip, demanding entry that Y/N couldn’t help but give him.

He was her weakness; always had been, always would be.

Sanemi pressed her against his doorway, a strangled groan tearing from his throat as Y/N palmed him through the sweatpants he’d haphazardly thrown on.

“Y/N,” he groaned as she increased the pressure of her hand slightly, her lips moving to his neck as she licked one of the small scars that lay near his jaw.

“I need you, Sanemi,” She murmured, and Sanemi’s eyes blew wide as he growled, arms locking around her middle as he heaved her up against his door.

Their lips met in a fiery exchange of tongue and teeth, biting, and sucking at the other possessively as they tore each other’s clothes from their body. Y/N ground down against Sanemi’s thick, bare length as it bounced against the underside of her thigh, the slick wet of her heat grazing him and causing him to moan in her ear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Sanemi growled as he spun them away from the door, guiding them towards his kitchen as he laid her out over his counter, an arm only leaving its position at her waist to clear the assorted mail and spare keys he’d had organized there, letting it all fall to the linoleum floor.

Sanemi’s fingers worked their way between her legs as his lips wrapped around the peak of her breast and sucked, causing Y/N’s back to arch gracefully off the surface of his counter. His thumb stroked her aching bundle of nerves as his index finger swirled around her entrance, teasingly gathering her wetness around the calloused digit, before he sunk it into her, curling it so that he brushed against that sensitive spot on her front wall.

“Sanemi – ah,” she panted as he added yet another finger, her eyes nearly crossing at the sensation of his hand scissoring in and out of her, while his thumb continued to play with her clit. “I can’t wait – please,”

He hesitated for a moment, no doubt fighting every urge to sheathe himself within her heat in a single stroke, but he withdrew his fingers, nodding. With a surprising softness, Sanemi flipped Y/N over, pressing her down against the cool top of his kitchen counter, and used his knee to knock her thighs apart. One hand braced on her hip, the other gripped him at his base as he nudged her opening from behind, Y/N nearly drooled as she felt the hot, flared tip of his cock pressing flush against her entrance, and she rapaciously ground against him, eager to feel him inside of her.

Sanemi gradually eased himself into her wet, aching heat, no doubt taking his time because she’d demanded he take her before properly preparing her. Y/N whimpered at the stretch of her walls around him, as Sanemi groaned, loud and unrestrained, as he sank into her warmth, his chest heaving behind her.

One broad hand slid down the side of her leg, lifting it up to rest on the counter. With one long draw of his hips backwards, nearly withdrawing from her waiting cunt, Sanemi slammed back into her with a force that had her choking for her breath.

Sanemi began to fuck her, and she swore she saw the gates of Heaven.

With every sharp push and pull of his steely length, Y/N felt her eyes roll further back into her skull, as a stream of cries and whimpers poured from her mouth. She was helpless to do anything but push herself back against him as he pounded into her, slamming her back onto his cock over and over, as he moaned and cursed under his breath.  

“Fuck,” Sanemi panted in her ear. “Y/N – just stay. With me. Please.”

But Y/N did not answer him; could not, due to the incessant roll of his hips into hers, as Sanemi increased the force with which he thrust into her with every passing second, threatening to snatch every sane thought from her head.

Sanemi pushed her leg further up on his kitchen counter, a hand coming to rest against a cupboard to steady himself as he thrust deeper into her velvet heat.

His lips danced down the back of her neck, biting and sucking. The drive of his hips forced hers to bounce against the counter, the cheap plywood and plaster biting into her hipbones with every impassioned thrust of Sanemi’s cock as he withdrew from her glistening core, only to slam himself back into her.

“Ngh, Sanemi,” Y/N moaned, pushing herself back against him, needing him to go faster, harder, to make her forget all the ways he’d made her feel lonely and unwanted.

He bit down on her shoulder blade as his thrusts grew sloppy. “God, you feel so fuckin’ good for me, baby.”

Y/N was too enthralled by the hurried drag of Sanemi’s length in and out of her desperate cunt to care that he’d referred to her as “baby.” He could call her anything, anything at all, as long as he kept fucking her the way he was, against his kitchen counter.

Sanemi angled his hips and began hammering at the spot deep inside her that had her vision nearly whitening out.

“Fuck, S-Sanemi,” She whined. “I’m gonna cum—.” The ache in her belly flared the way it always did whenever Sanemi brought her close to her end.

“Not yet,” Sanemi groaned, though he found it difficult to keep holding himself back. “Stay with me a little longer, sweetheart.” One hand left its bruising grip on her hip in favor of reaching around her to squeeze at her breasts, as he rolled one of her nipples between his expert fingers.

“I can’t,” Y/N cried, begging. “Sanemi, please, oh please-,”

Sanemi removed his arms from her and brought them to the front of her knees, straightening her legs so they stuck out behind her, one braced on either side of his hips as he increased his rhythm, the loud clap of Y/N’s skin against the counter as he pounded harder into her threatening to drown out her moans.

Once he was sure she would not lower her legs, Sanemi’s hand came down against her backside, smacking her as he bounced her against him.

Y/N cried out in pleasure, beseeching Sanemi to do it again, and he obliged, bringing his hand down against her other cheek as she sobbed. Sanemi hissed as he felt the eager walls of her cunt squeeze him to the point of pain, keeping his bruising length locked within her as he chased his release.

The slight sting of his hand against the sensitive skin of her ass was too much for her to bear; with a keening howl, Y/N shattered around him, Sanemi following suit as his cum shot into her with a force that made him see white, her name the only mantra on his lips.

She was still in the thick of her orgasm when Sanemi abruptly pulled out, his cum dripping from her spasming core and onto the floor beneath them. She didn’t have time to protest, however, as Sanemi dropped to his knees behind her, where she was still spread wide for him, and began to feast upon her, his teeth and lips wrapping around her clit and sucking so hard, she nearly levitated off the counter, her thighs clamping tight around his head.

Y/N could not find it within herself to feel sorry for his neighbors as she screamed his name, her throat burning with the effort as Sanemi hauled her back to her peak and sent her tumbling over it once more, this time stronger than she’d ever felt.

He did not stop; he continued to suck at her through the prolonged waves of her climax, his warm fingers coming to slide into her opening and massage his cum into her quivering walls, making her see stars as his fingertips brushed the spongy part of her innermost wall, her legs spasming around him.

A gush of fluid sprang forth from her, thoroughly coating Sanemi’s face and he groaned with satisfaction, pressing his mouth even harder against her, as though the mixture of his cum with hers was the most intoxicating elixir ever to pass his lips.

Y/N’s pleasure-delirious sobs were muffled against the counter as the aftershock of her successive orgasms wracked through her, her body quivering from the exertion. As the spasms in her cunt subsided, Sanemi finally stepped away, pressing featherlight kisses against her spine, so gentle in contrast with the delightfully brutal way he’d just reminded her that she’d never be able to run away from this – from him.

Sanemi rocked back on his heels, hands braced against the counter as he caught his breath. “Let me clean you up,” he said after a moment, his voice hoarse.

Y/N’s limbs had been reduced to liquid, so she did not complain as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to his bathroom.

He sat her gently on the edge of his tub and moved behind her to turn the water on, holding his fingers under the steady stream until it was hot – just the way he knew she liked it.

“I don’t want to take a fucking bath here,” Y/N snapped, turning to glare at him. “Just give me a towel and be done with it.”

Sanemi recoiled slightly, and it made her chest hurt. “Was – was that okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Only in every way a person could be hurt, but not through his actions in the kitchen. She wanted nothing more than to take his face in her hands and kiss him, to assure him that, at the very least, she’d loved every second of the way he’d spread her across his counter. But the love in Y/N’s heart had turned it into a black, decaying lump, and so, her response only matched her rotten core.

“It was fine – we’re not a fucking couple,” She snatched a washcloth from his hand and shoved it under the faucet, dampening it and then moving to wipe it between her legs. “So, stop trying to act like we are.”

Sanemi stood back, his arms folding across his chest and his expression unreadable. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled after a moment. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

It was the gentleness with which he spoke to her that enraged her even more, even though she knew she was being irrational. “It’s whatever,” she muttered, folding the used washcloth back up and laying it neatly over the edge of the bathtub. “I’ve gotta go.”

Sanemi nodded and left the bathroom, still naked himself, and returned with her discarded clothes and underwear. Once he’d passed them to her, he retreated back to his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Y/N tried to ignore the guilt in her stomach when he did not emerge to say goodbye, as she opened his front door and disappeared into the mid-day sun.

—————————————————————————

All of her friends were traitors.

Not one of them was in the mood to venture out with her, not even Mitsuri, who was newly in a relationship with Obanai, the moody, awkward boy having finally plucked up the courage to confess his feelings for the bubbly pinkette.

Thus, Mitsuri no longer needed Wisteria or sticky drinks to feel high; she had love.

Y/N was happy for her – really; but she wasn’t happy to lose her reliable going-out friend.

So Y/N was on her own at the Kizuki lounge, though she didn’t really mind all that much. She’d become such a regular in that dark den of iniquity that a few other lost souls recognized her as their own and were only happy to dance with her. Unfortunately, however, Shinobu was nowhere in sight, and thus, Y/N was left utterly without the comforting lull of her friend’s Wisteria.  

As Y/N pounded back another round of shots, wincing at the burn of the green apple liquor which slid down her throat, a sultry voice spoke.

“Well, it’s rare to see such a beautiful thing like you alone in a place like this,” Y/N turned and saw a familiar yet unnerving pair of eyes – the same she’d seen a few weeks earlier at the club, the first night she’d danced with Sanemi – blinking at her.

He was familiar – she’d seen him around on campus and knew him to be relatively involved with student life. Y/N scoured her brain, trying to place a name on the white-haired man smiling at her like she was something to be devoured.  

“Douma, right?” Y/N recalled, and the man nodded, his smile widening revealing a set of too-sharp canines.

“I’m flattered you know my name,” his voice was almost flirty, if not for the sickeningly sweet edge in it that set the hair on her arms standing. “Though, I only know you as Shinobu’s friend,” he pouted.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “You know Shinobu?”

The man with the jewel-colored eyes nodded, smiling dreamily. “Shinobu and I are old friends – business partners, even. And me and her sister go way back.” Douma reached out and toyed with a loose strand of Y/N’s hair, and she fought the urge to shudder. “Tell me your name, gorgeous? I’ve seen you around, though Shinobu always barks before I ever have the chance to talk to you.”

Y/N laughed, softly. “Shinobu’s bark is always worse than her bite, I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Douma leaned in close, and his cologne was strong and sensual in a way that made Y/N’s head feel fogged. “And what about your bite? Surely, someone who hangs around with Shinobu is bound to pack a bit of a punch.”

He knew how to flatter, she’d give him that. “I’m afraid I’m all bark, Douma.” And, because she felt lonely, and because she felt a little desperate, she added, “Though I might be inclined to bite if given the right incentive.”

Douma tipped his head back and laughed, deeply, and it made Y/N’s heart flutter. “You are something, aren’t you, Y/N? I can’t believe your friends would let you wander out by yourself.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, and helped herself to the smiling man’s drink, his grin only widening as she polished off its contents. “I need no babysitter, unfortunately for them.”

“No you do not,” Douma purred. “Well, since you’re a free agent tonight, how about you come by my place? My roommate and I are throwing a huge party – I’d bet nearly half the campus is there already.”

Y/N didn’t doubt it; Douma’s parties were something of a campus legend.

“And, I believe I have something that might make it worth your while,” Douma smirked, pulling a small plastic baggie from his pocket. Within it, sat three of those coveted lilac pills, and Y/N’s mouth watered.

“I think that’s exactly the kind of incentive a girl looks for,” Y/N teased, standing with Douma to leave the Kizuki, the latter’s hand coming to rest on the small of her back. Y/N and Douma chatted animatedly as he led her to his car, and Y/N could almost ignore the unease tugging incessantly in her stomach.

She shook off the feeling. After all, if she squinted hard enough, Douma could almost pass as Sanemi.

—————————————————————————

Kyojuro answered his phone with a noncommittal grunt.

“Akaza?” He said, surprise coloring his features. Sanemi perked up at the name of the boy from their hometown but was filled with unease at the way Kyojuro’s face darkened.

“We’re on our way.” Kyojuro clicked his phone off and met Sanemi’s questioning look.

“You know that party on 52nd? We need to go — now.” Kyojuro was already rising, his wallet and keys in hand.

Sanemi didn’t question his best friend, but his phone dinged in time with Kyojuro’s, and both paled at the text image they’d received from an unknown number, sent to each person in their friend group.

It was an image of Y/N, though only half her face was visible — but it was clear she was crying and she looked fucking terrified. Mascara streaked down her cheeks as she held her arms up protectively in front of her. But those too-thin arms could not obscure the blooded, crescent-shaped bite mark just above her breast.

Shinobuuuu your friend is lovely! The message below the image read.

A second, follow-up message dinged. Next time, fucking pay me, hm?

Kyojuro looked back in horror at his best friend but broke into a cold sweat as he beheld the murderous rage that caused his friend to tremble.

“Let’s go.” It was all the white-haired man said as the pair slammed Kyojuro’s apartment door behind them and head for his car.

—————————————————————————

“There you go, Y/N – you should be safe here until we can get you out, yeah?” The pink-haired man opened a door to a hidden closet behind the stairwell in his private room, one he knew with certainty that Douma knew nothing about. “I called you a ride already.”

Y/N sniffled, wiping at her cheeks as she brushed by the man to sit on a trunk sitting in the closet. “Thank you, Hakuji. I owe you one.”

Akaza smiled and shook his head. He’d always liked Y/N – she was always kind to him growing up, and she was one of the few people to call him by his actual name, rather than that abhorrent nickname that he couldn’t seem to shake.

“Nah, I can’t stand that fucker,” Akaza grimaced, checking behind him to ensure no one had snuck in and found them hiding. “Douma always takes things too far. I try to help when I can, but I don’t have eyes everywhere.” He frowned as he considered her. “I’m just glad I saw him bring you in.”

Y/N didn’t say anything, instead only nodding. Akaza sighed. “I’d better get back to the party. Douma’ll go snooping if he can’t find me and I really don’t want to risk him finding you again.” He began to push the door shut. “This locks from the inside. Don’t open it for anyone else – I’ll come get you when your ride is here.”

Y/N nodded. “Thanks again, Hakuji. Say hi to Koyuki for me the next time you see her.”

Akaza smiled warmly and closed the closet door, sealing Y/N safely within.

————————————————————————-

For Y/N, sitting alone in that cramped, dark closet, it felt like hours had passed since Hakuji had locked her away, out of sight from Douma’s unnerving eyes. Y/N was getting antsy, until the sound of gasps and screams from below set her stomach twisting with panic. She began to hyperventilate when she heard footsteps – two pairs, one heavier than the other – rapidly approaching the closet door as the knob began to twist.

Tears were leaking down her face, hot and fast, as a knock sounded against the door.

“Y/N!” Someone hissed. “It’s me – open the door.” It was not Akaza on the other side, but a much warmer, much more familiar voice that had her nearly sobbing with relief.

With a shaking hand, Y/N flipped the lock and the door swung open, revealing the most comforting presence she’d ever known.

Kyojuro stared at her, a mess on the floor of Hakuji’s closet, his expression unreadable. Leaning towards her, he closed a warm hand gently around her wrist and hauled her to her feet, his eyes running over her as those scanning for injury. His nostrils flared at the small dab of blood that had dried on her shirt, concealing the bruising bite mark below.

Kyojuro’s burning grip remained on her as he led her out of Hakuji’s room – the pink-haired man nodding reassuringly at her as she passed him by. Kyojuro halted at the top of the small staircase to the main floor, an eerie silence interrupted only by an occasional gasp below.

He turned back to Y/N, his face stony. “Don’t look,” he warned. “Keep your eyes forward until we get out of here, no matter what.”

A lump formed in Y/N’s throat as the pair descended the stairs, slowly. They almost made it to the front door, where Y/N could see Kyojuro’s car pulled half-onto the lawn outside, still running, when a strange wet thump snapped Y/N’s attention to the adjacent room where party attendees had been dancing only moments before.

Y/N froze as she took in the crowd, gathered, and parted around two men, hunched on the floor, as they all looked on in stunned horror.

It was Sanemi, with Douma pinned beneath his knees, as he mercilessly pounded his fist into her would-be assailant’s face.

Douma was covered in scarlet, and the swollen features of his face were nearly unrecognizable as Sanemi slammed his knuckles into him, over and over. Douma only wheezed out a laugh, apparently egging Sanemi on.

Y/N parted her mouth in horror, ready to call out for Sanemi to stop, but Kyojuro tugged her sharply through the front door and away from the grisly scene.

“Don’t,” he said, softly. “Let him get it out.”

Kyojuro hauled her to his car, pausing only to open his passenger door before gently pushing her to sit down in the worn seat. Y/N didn’t challenge him as he reached over her and buckled her seatbelt, noting the fire raging in his eyes.

Her friend rejoined her on the driver’s side and pulled roughly out of the yard of Douma’s party house, speeding off down the street. Y/N opened her mouth to speak – to say anything, when Kyojuro held up his hand as his other pulled his phone free from his pocket. He read something on the screen, before clicking it off, returning his eyes to the road.

“It’s Tengen – cops have been called.” He explained, his voice low and face hard.

Y/N swallowed thickly. “Sanemi’s going to get arrested.”

Kyojuro snorted. “If Tengen shows up first, Sanemi will be fine. The cops have been looking to bust Douma for months.” Kyojuro slowed at a stoplight and cut his eyes over to where Y/N sat, curled on his seat, looking so small and so vulnerable.

“Y/N,” his voice possessed a gentleness she didn’t deserve, and it only made her mash her lips together in an effort to keep the tears in her eyes. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

She flinched, folding her arms tight across her chest, the spot where Douma bit her aching. Slowly, the memory of a phone camera flashing in her face, mere seconds before Hakuji had exploded into the room, cursing up a storm at Douma as he’d covered her with a blanket, blitzed out of her mind.

“The photos,” she whispered, hands covering her mouth in horror. “Oh, god –,”

Kyojuro’s hands tightened on his steering wheel, his knuckles white. “Y/N,” his voice cracked, just like her heart. “If you’d rather me call one of the girls, I will --,”

Y/N shook her head, urgently. “No, no, Kyo, he didn’t – he only bit me.”

Kyojuro’s grip on the steering wheel relaxed, though only marginally so. “Only bit you,” he repeated, shaking his head in disgust, that cold rage still pulling at his face, contorting the face she loved into something brutal, violent, and unforgiving.

He looked back at her as she trembled in his passenger seat. “What do you need, Y/N?”

Y/N fought to keep her voice steady. “Can – can you just drive, Kyo? Please?”

He nodded, and the two drove in silence for an hour, her friend randomly getting off and on the interstate as the sights of the city passed them aimlessly by.

Kyojuro abruptly pulled his car over to the side of the road, coming to a stop and slamming it into park, before turning to look at her.

“Y/N,” the sound of his voice was so strangled, so pained, that Y/N couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her face, and into her lap. “What the fuck?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N sobbed quietly into her hands. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, Kyo.” Her vision was completely obscured by the saltwater that would not stop, her breath becoming panicked.

“I don’t even remember fucking it all up. All I know is I was so fucking angry with you two, and now -,” Y/N cut herself off with a hiccup.

“It’s all so fucked,” her breath was choppy as her tears increased, her hands rising to clutch at her chest. “You – you and Sanemi --,”

Kyojuro got out of his car and walked around to her side, opening the door to tug her out of the passenger seat and into his arms, crushing her against his chest.

“Y-you left me,” Y/N sobbed into the thin fabric of his tee shirt. “I needed my friend, and you left me,”

“I know,” Kyojuro’s tears dampened her hair. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“H-how could you do that, to your best friend?” She cried, clutching his shirt in her hands until her knuckles turned white. “You were my brother, Kyojuro.”

“You promised things would be okay, and then they weren’t. And you didn’t even try.” Y/N pushed away from him then, anger burning through the tears in her eyes. “Friends don’t do that; family doesn’t do that.”

Kyojuro looked as broken as she felt. “I broke every promise I made to you, I know,” he said hoarsely. “I swore I wouldn’t let you get too far away --,”

Y/N exploded.

“Get too far away?” She swore at him, hands angrily wiping the salt from her cheeks. “You abandoned me, you left me hung out to dry!”

Y/N’s hands balled to fists at her side, as she shook. “Sanemi at least arguably had an excuse. You had none. Nothing about what I did — what I said — meant I deserved that,” her eyes, angry and broken, met his own teary gaze once more. “I didn’t deserve that.”

“Y/N,” Kyojuro started, but the furious girl cut him off.

“Shut up, Kyojuro,” she snapped, and for once, the flame-haired man looked lost for words. “Do you have any idea what it was like? To watch you and him carry on as though nothing happened – as though I didn’t fucking exist?”

“And when my mom got sick? She used to feed you and your brother, you – you – selfish asshole,” Y/N was nearly hyperventilating in her ire, as twenty-two months of heartache, pain, and rage boiled out of her all at once. “And you couldn’t even check in?”

“I tried,” Kyojuro cut her off, somewhat forcefully, at her last accusation. “I tried to check in, Y/N. During the summer – I saw the ambulance leaving your house, but I couldn’t leave Senjuro by himself.”

“I came by the first thing the next morning, but no one answered. You --,” Kyojuro hesitated. “You must’ve still been at the hospital. I should’ve checked.”

Y/N laughed without humor. “Visiting doesn’t matter. You had a phone. You know how to use it, and you couldn’t send a fucking text.”

The blonde exhaled, and the tiredness on his face softened some part inside of her, made her want to hug him because deep down, she hated that Kyojuro could ever look so worn down.

“Nothing I say is going to make up for it. I know that.” He whispered. “If I could turn back time, I would, Y/N. Please believe me when I say I would.”

Kyojuro dragged a tired hand down his face, smearing the tears across his cheeks as he did so, and he looked toward his old friend, brokenly. “But I’m here now,” He said, pleadingly. “I’m sorry if that’s still not enough; I understand if it isn’t. But please, let me be here for you, now. Even if that means you hate me.”

Y/N did not expect to break so suddenly, but the sight of Kyojuro openly weeping before her, combined with the bruising sincerity of his words, whittled away all of the hardness she’d built up and struck her right in her heart.

“Oh Kyo,” Y/N shuddered a sob, her shoulders shaking under the weight of her tears as Kyojuro stepped forward once more and enveloped her in his arms. “I could never hate you,”

For the first time in nearly two years, Y/N returned Kyojuro’s hug with the same ferocity she once had, and part of her hoped, oh so timidly, that the force with which he embraced her would slowly work to put her back together again – to make her whole.

The two almost siblings melted into one another, each one muttering a litany of I’m sorrys, and I love you‘s. For a long while, the pair stood there, on the side of the road, swaddled in the other’s embrace as they sobbed together, for both the children they once were, and the adults the world had forced them to become.

Eventually, the pair found themselves back in Kyojuro’s car, still driving with no real destination in mind; only this time, the two blasted music from their high school days and loudly sang off-key together, laughing carefree as their broken hearts mended, song by song. They drove until Y/N yawned, and Kyojuro sternly, but teasingly, noted it was well past her bedtime.

“You scare the shit out of him, you know,” Kyojuro said after a long while, eyes still fixed resolutely on the road leading to Y/N’s apartment.

Y/N, who’d been watching the blur of stars in the night sky as they sped down the highway, rolled her head toward him to look at him, her face skeptical. “Sanemi? Sanemi Shinazugawa, scared of me?” She scoffed, turning her attention back to the night sky as it whizzed past her window.

Kyojuro reached for her hand, and Y/N could have cried at how warm and comforting it felt. “He thinks he’s lost you for good. He does regret how things went down, you know; he did from the get-go.”

“I think he’s afraid he’s going to wake up one day and find you’ll just be gone entirely. Completely unreachable.”

Y/N stretched her fingers to play with the series of necklaces Kyojuro had dangling from his rearview mirror, admiring the way they twinkled under the passing streetlights. “He would have to care to be afraid, Kyo, and you and I both know that he doesn’t care about me.” She chewed on her lip. “Not in that way.”

Kyojuro finally pulled to a stop in front of her apartment. He took his time putting his car in park and shutting it off, before turning back to her, his face solemn. “If you can’t see how crazy he is about you, then I don’t know what else I can say.”

The fire in his stare was scorching, and Y/N fidgeted under the intensity of both his gaze and his words. “He barely knows me, Kyo. He doesn’t know what he wants.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Kyojuro said, though not too harshly. “You might want to believe you’re a different person now, but you’re still you. I promise you, you’re still the Y/N we both know – and love.”

Y/N’s tear fell down her cheeks anew, as she’d not realized how badly she needed to hear that she was still herself – that she wasn’t just a shell of the person she once was, never fully present and never fully worth giving a damn about.

“I think you want to believe he doesn’t care because it makes it easier on you to pretend like you’re just using him.” Kyojuro’s words cut through her like a knife.

Y/N winced and opened her mouth to respond, but Kyojuro raised a hand, silencing her.

“I’m not saying you mean to,” Kyojuro’s words stung, but they were earnest. “And I don’t necessarily think you are – but I think you’re running from him, because you are frightened.”

“What would you have me do, Kyo?” Y/N asked, slightly exasperated as her head thudded back against the worn fabric of his car seat.

“Are you still in love with him?” Kyojuro asked, and it took great effort for Y/N not to roll her eyes at him. “Then you must let him in, Y/N. He wants your love – very much so – of that, I’m certain.”

“He has always wanted my love,” Y/N snorted. “He’s like a jealous, possessive dragon that way. The problem is with him returning it.”

Kyojuro sighed, before getting out of his car and rounding to her side, opening her door for her. “As I said before,” he reached a warm hand to muss her hair as she stood, stretching her stiff limbs from the hours they’d spent driving around the city. “If you can’t see how crazy Sanemi is about you, then I can’t help you.”

Kyojuro’s lips pressed against her forehead, warm and steady, and it felt like home. “Give him a chance, Y/N. Let him into your heart, and he will gladly give you his.”

—————————————————————————

After ensuring Y/N was safely inside her apartment, Kyojuro continued to drive for another hour.

The emotions of the night weighed too heavily on his shoulders, and Kyojuro knew going back to his apartment would end in nothing but him tossing for hours in bed, replaying the last conversation with Y/N in his head, over and over.

—————————————————————————

 One year earlier

“Where’s your date, Shinazugawa?” Kyojuro chuckled, reaching for a beer. He was disheartened to see that only one was left, Sanemi having finished at least three since arriving at his place.

“Called off,” Sanemi said thickly, his words slightly garbled as he tried to fake his own sobriety – the surest sign he was already drunk off his ass.

Kyojuro clapped his shoulder sympathetically. “You or her?”

Sanemi took another swig of his drink. “Me.” He looked up at his best friend and Kyojuro was shocked to see how forlorn and sad the hothead looked. “None of ‘em are her.”

It was rare that Sanemi brought her up, especially in the wake of everything that had happened after Genya’s death. But Kyojuro hadn’t been foolish enough to think that a substantial part of the chip on Sanemi’s shoulder hadn’t stemmed from his complicated feelings about her – Y/N.

Their best friend, at least, once upon a time.

Though as Kyojuro supposed, it wasn’t as if Sanemi’s feelings about their friend were really all that complicated. He’d known the abrasive loudmouth had longed for the trio’s only girl since any of them had understood what it meant to long for someone.

Kyojuro had seen his friend’s feelings on display countless times since they were teenagers. He saw it in the way Sanemi’s eyes softened every time she smiled at him, or the way Sanemi seemed to always lean into her touch whenever she brushed something from his hair.

Then, there had been that time after Y/N had her braces put in – they’d been around thirteen or so – and she’d refused to smile with her teeth, until Sanemi had snapped at her and said she’d looked constipated.

Y/N’s eyes had filled with tears, and her cheeks had burned with her embarrassment until he’d squatted down in front of her.

“Why’d’ya wanna hide your smile anyways – it’s too pretty.” He’d said, very matter-of-factly, leaning in close to her face as he always did when he teased her. “C’mon, show me! I wanna see your smile!”

Shyly, Y/N had smiled at him, braces and all, and Sanemi had grinned back, nodding in satisfaction. “See? What’d I tell ya? Pretty as a picture.”

Then, there had been their senior prom, when Sanemi had gotten wind of another boy’s plan to ask her to be his date. Though the big dance had still more than six months away, Sanemi had stormed into the cafeteria, plopped down from her as she ate with the Koyuki girl, and demanded she attend with him.

When the night of their prom arrived, Kyojuro thought Sanemi was going to pass out the moment he saw Y/N descend the stars at her mother’s house, dressed in that floor-length emerald dress. Throughout the whole night, Sanemi had treated their best friend as though she were made of glass, his hands for once hesitant and uncertain as he’d found her waist during a slow dance. Kyojuro had truly thought his friends would finally, finally kiss and admit their poorly concealed feelings for one another. But Sanemi had returned Y/N to her mother, the latter only parting with a soft kiss against the flustered boy’s cheek before disappearing inside.

How could they have known that night, just how far they’d all fall? How could they know how Genya’s death would shatter more than his brother, but indelibly fracture their life-long bond and transform them into total strangers?

————————————————————————

 Ten months earlier

Kyojuro didn’t mind working for the enrollment center at Ubaya-U.

Sure, the work was a little tedious, if not monotonous, especially at the start of a new semester, but at least that meant his shift passed him by quickly.

That particular day, Kyojuro had been tasked with finalizing the class registers for his year – the juniors – as the add/drop period had finally passed, and thus, schedules were to be finalized for the semester.

He’d spent hours tabbing through page after page of student schedules, entering data and clicking the small arrow at the bottom of his screen to move onto the next student ID number, over and over, until the figures on his computer blurred together. But Kyojuro had finally entered the schedule for the last student, and he was eager to hit “ENTER,” and get the fuck home.

His back aching and wrist cramping, Kyojuro hit the command key that promised release.

ERROR. The screen read. ONE OR MORE ENTRIES MISSING.

“Fuck,” Kyojuro muttered, and he hit the “ENTER” key once more, in hopes that the system had merely hiccupped after having been in use for so long.

The same ERROR message flashed across his screen once more.

Kyojuro exhaled, pinching his nose as his eyes screwed shut in frustration, the beginnings of a headache creeping in around his temples. Shoving himself away from his desk, Kyojuro stood and stalked over to his supervisor, who was just as numbly tabbing through a spreadsheet.

“Murata,” Kyojuro said, trying to keep his growing anger in check. It was a Friday night and he just wanted to go home and do stupid college things, dammit.

The tired shift supervisor grunted in answer, turning in his swivel seat towards the fuming college junior.

“I entered all of the student schedules, but the system is flagging some sort of error.” Kyojuro produced a printed-out spreadsheet of every student ID number and handed it to his manager, who took note of the neat, precise little checkmarks next to every line that signaled Kyojuro had finalized the correlating schedule. “Can you take a look?”

“Sure thing,” even though Kyojuro often thought Murata was, at times, a little inept at his own job, he couldn’t deny the college senior was helpful. Murata pulled up the school’s informatics system and entered his log-in, clicking through various prompts until his screen resembled Kyo’s.

Murata tried to submit the same data that Kyojuro had tried, and the same error message dinged on his screen.

“Huh, that’s odd,” the manager said, unhelpfully. “Let me see if I can use my admin key and find out if there’s anyone you missed.”

Kyojuro resisted the urge to point at his spreadsheet once more; Kyojuro, simply put, never missed an entry when it came to plugging in numbers and codes for work. The same could not be said for Murata.

“Ah, there it is,” to Kyojuro’s surprise, a student profile popped up on Murata’s screen in red, though his supervisor’s head blocked the name. “Number ending in 0851. Let me just –” Murata clicked around the screen and quickly tabbed in a couple of course codes, and hit enter, but the screen erred once more.

“What the – ohhh, I know this number,” Murata said, sitting back in his seat. “Yeah. Okay. You need my code to bypass this one. She got special permission from the university to not finalize her schedule until next week.”

Kyojuro sighed. At least the error hadn’t been on his end.

“Got a pen? You’ll need her name to enter it once the screen prompts you. In the explanation box, just type “special permission/family emergency.”

Kyojuro shook his head. “I’ll remember it. What’s the name?”

“Y/L/N. Y/N.” Murata answered flippantly, though Kyojuro’s stomach lurched. “Yeah, I got an email about her a few weeks ago because she hadn’t returned to campus. The Dean said her mom was in the hospital, and she was the sole caretaker, so her professors all agreed to let her attend online until things mellowed out.”

“Never seen that happen before, she must be one helluva student,” Murata commented as he turned back to Kyojuro. “Hey, in the entry box, put her date of return – I think I remember the email saying it was sometime next month, but let me check.” The supervisor turned back to his screen, blissfully unaware of Kyojuro’s wide eyes or his pounding heart.

“There it is – hm, there’s an update,” Murata remarked, though more to himself than to the pale Junior standing behind him. “Oh my, that’s a shame. Looks like her mom passed away last week, so she’s returning after the funeral, which was --,” Murata squinted. “Yesterday.”

“Yup, seems like she’s due back next week instead. Just put down Monday’s date.” Murata turned back to Kyojuro with a kind smile, but it quickly slipped when he saw the sweat that had broken out across the burly blonde’s forehead and noted the way he shook.

“Rengoku, you good, man?” Murata asked worriedly, though Kyojuro barely heard him over the roaring in his head and the sound of his heart-shattering.

“Y-yeah,” Kyojuro’s voice cracked. “Murata, would you mind entering that information for me? I feel like I’m going to be sick.” Kyojuro did not wait for his supervisor’s answer as he grabbed his backpack and stumbled out of the Student Affairs office, as he fought to keep down the bile that rose in his throat.

Kyojuro did not remember the walk back to his apartment; he remembered only the rush of grief, and crushing sadness, as he recalled the kind woman who’d shown him such love and affection after his own mother died, that he’d thought of her as a second mother.

He thought of Y/N – oh god, Y/N, who now lived in a world in which she had no family left. No home to go back to.

Alone.

He hadn’t known; Sanemi hadn’t known.

Kyojuro stumbled through the front door of his apartment, vaguely noting that Sanemi had already let himself in, and helped himself to whatever was in Kyojuro’s well-stocked refrigerator.

“Man, I’ve had a fuckin day,” Sanemi’s gravelly voice rang over the muted sounds of his television as he chowed down on a helping of sweet potatoes Kyojuro had meal prepped a few days earlier.

“Sanemi,” Kyojuro tried weakly, though Sanemi seemed not to hear him over his own, loud complaining.

“-and four papers, and we’re barely a month into school. I can’t wait to fuckin’ graduate and get the hell out of this place --,”

“Sanemi,” Kyojuro said again, more forcefully that time, cutting his friend’s impassioned rambling off. At the serious, monotonous tone in his best friend’s voice, Sanemi fell silent. “It’s Y/N, she – h-her…”

Kyojuro’s voice wobbled. Sanemi dropped his fork into the plastic container that contained Kyojuro’s food and stared at him, eyes wide, as he sucked his breath through his teeth. Whatever news his friend had to deliver, it would not be good.

“Is – is Y/N okay?” Sanemi asked tentatively, his voice shaking slightly. He felt the color drain from his cheeks as Kyojuro slowly shook his head. As childish as it seemed, Kyojuro wanted to run, because if he did not speak those awful words, then perhaps they would not be real.

“It’s Mrs. Y/L/N – she…she died. Last week. The funeral was yesterday.”

————————————————————————-

Nine months earlier

Sanemi barged into his apartment without knocking, nearly toppling over the coatrack Kyojuro kept in the entryway.

“Shinazugawa,” he’d started to chastise, but fell silent at the look on his best friend’s face, a strange mixture of nausea and despair etched into his features.

“I saw her, Kyo,” Sanemi croaked, pale and shaking as he ripped open Kyojuro’s fridge and grabbed a beer, not bothering to ask as he wrenched the bottle cap off and took a healthy swig.

“Y/N?” Kyojuro’s eyebrows furrowed, as he followed his friend into his sparsely decorated living room, Sanemi shakily sitting on the small sofa, head braced between his hands.

“Did you talk to her? How was she?” Kyojuro pressed, but Sanemi refused to lift his head to meet his eyes.

“I saw her,” Sanemi repeated, his voice trembling almost as badly as his hands. “And I didn’t know it was her.”

Kyojuro shook his head in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean -,”

“I didn’t recognize her, Kyojuro. Not at first,” Sanemi finally looked up and Kyojuro’s stomach twisted at the tears pooling in his friend’s eyes. “How could I not recognize our best friend?”

Kyojuro threw an arm around Sanemi’s shoulders. “It’s been a while,” he said, gruffly, “It’s just been a while since we saw her –.”

“You don’t get it,” Sanemi said, wide-eyed and haunted. “Y/N looks different – she’s so fucking thin, Kyojuro, that I couldn’t recognize her.”

————————————————————————

One month earlier

“So you – you and Y/N,” Kyojuro began, and Sanemi nodded, dragging a hand over his face.

“I am never touching that Wisteria shit again,” the lavender-eyed man vowed, darkly. “I fucking lost control.”

Kyojuro frowned, his stomach shifting uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

Sanemi flung himself back against the cushion of his sofa, arm draped over his eyes in an attempt to stifle the tears that gathered there. “I fuckin’ hurt her, man.”

The blonde sighed, settling back against the sofa with his friend, thumbs twiddling with a loose string on his shirt. “You didn’t mean to, you know. Sometimes that just – it just happens.”

Trust Sanemi to be this dramatic being Y/N’s first – the man had practically screamed into the phone at him when he’d discovered the small speckle of blood on his sheets and realized that Y/N was nowhere to be found.

Though, Kyojuro never imagined Sanemi would be this frantic about the ordeal.  

Sanemi lowered his arm to stare at his best friend, bewildered. “It doesn’t fucking matter,” he ran an anxious hand through his hair. “I can’t fucking trust myself on that shit, and I’ll be damned if I hurt her again.”

“I’m done with it all, Kyojuro,” Sanemi swore once more. “For her, I’m fuckin’ done with it.”

————————————————————————-

Two weeks earlier

Kyojuro jogged to where his friend stood, smoking a cigarette as his eyes scanned over the various food trucks that had gathered on the street near his apartment, considering the wide variety of choices.

“You’re the only person I know who could make that look somewhat appealing,” Kyojuro grumbled as Sanemi took another drag, grinning. Sanemi had quit both alcohol and Wisteria cold turkey but had become such an irritable bitch as he went through withdrawal that Kyojuro had practically begged him to find something to help him take the edge off.

So, Sanemi had traded one vice for another and had taken to smoking, though he could tell his friend hated it. Sanemi hoped that his shakes would soon subside, and he could kick the nasty habit before it became another problem for him to deal with.

“What are you in the mood for?” Sanemi asked as the pair began to leisurely stroll around the crowded plaza. “And don’t say sweet potatoes – we’ve been eating healthy all goddamn week; I need something greasy.”

Kyojuro chuckled. “I’m quite in the mood for a burger if you’re up for it.” He offered and Sanemi nodded in agreement. The pair joined the relatively lengthy queue outside a food truck grill, the scent of charcoal and meat promising to feed their empty bellies.

The pair made small talk as they waited, Sanemi nearly finishing his cigarette in the time it took them to reach the front of the line. Just before they were set to order, Sanemi’s phone dinged in his pocket, and the white-haired man pulled it free, puffing on the last of his cigarette as he did so.

“Ah, shit,” Sanemi sighed, though he did not look particularly crestfallen as he glanced back to his friend. “Sorry, man – duty calls.”

Kyojuro scoffed at his choice of words. “Duty,” he shook his head. “You mean Y/N?”

“You’d feel that way too if you slept around –”

“Yeah, but it’s not just ‘sleeping around’ to you, is it?” Kyojuro asked pointedly, and Sanemi fell silent. “You don’t sleep with anyone else. Does she?”

His friend shook his head. “Nah, we made an agreement – we’re – well, we don’t use condoms,” at the horrified look on Kyojuro’s face, Sanemi blushed. “She’s on birth control! ‘Sides,” Sanemi swallowed, awkwardly. “With all the weight she’s lost, and all the shit she’s been taking, I don’t think it’s likely she could – well, get pregnant.”

Kyojuro pinched his brow between his fingers. “Pregnancy isn’t the only reason to use condoms, you dolt,”

Sanemi harrumphed at him. “Look, I used protection with the other two girls, and I got tested not long after,” Sanemi quickly drew his cigarette back to his mouth, a sure sign of his growing discomfort with the conversation. “And, as Mitsuri so tactfully pointed out, I was her first, so I know she’s clean.”

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” Sanemi snapped at the reproachful look in his friend’s owlish gaze. “It feels better, y’know.”

Kyojuro only shook his head. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Sanemi?”

Sanemi looked away from him, shifting awkwardly back and forth on his feet. “You know why, man,” he said quietly, and Kyojuro’s heart clenched.

“Look, I love and worry after Y/N too, but she’s using you --,”

“So what if she is?” Sanemi croaked, taking a harsh drag of his cigarette. “She can use me as much as she wants. I don’t mind.”

Kyojuro’s eyes softened. “Sanemi –”

“At least it means I can keep an eye on her.” Sanemi flicked the dying butt to the ground, crushing it beneath the toe of his boot as he sauntered away, holding his hand up over his shoulder in farewell as he set off back across the lively street.

—————————————————————————

(Y/N’s POV)

Y/N dragged herself up the stairs of the apartment she shared with Mitsuri and Shinobu, a tiredness she’d not felt in a long while settling into her weary bones. Her head ached from the strain of the evening, and she knew her eyes were likely red and puffy from the hours of her crying.

Shakily, she slid her key through the lock and opened her front door, quietly relieved at the darkened silence of her apartment, which meant both of her roommates were out.

Closing the door behind her, Y/N slid to the floor in the entryway, and did not move; for a long while, she stared blankly at the dark kitchen before her, her mind replaying her conversation with Kyojuro on a loop, though the mark on her breast, with its pulsing ache, demanded her attention.

With a sigh, Y/N heaved herself up off the kitchen floor and shuffled her way to her room, silently thanking her luck that she’d managed to pull the bedroom with the in-suite bathroom, which meant she could curl up on the floor of her shower for as long as she wanted, without the fear of either of her friends needing the toilet.

Once she’d stripped herself of the evening’s outfit, Y/N inspected the wound on her chest.

It felt worse than it looked. There was a small bit of dried blood around where Douma’s teeth had broken her skin, and the mouth-shaped mark was angry, red, and already a little purple, but from her cursory examination of it, it seemed like the wound was likely to only bruise, and not scar.

It was the unseen wound that concerned her more; the scar that was assuredly left on her heart.

She’d fucked up – badly.

Granted, she knew it wasn’t her fault that Douma had decided to try and do whatever it was he wanted to do with her – she wasn’t going to blame herself for that.

What was her fault was how badly she’d let things spiral out of control; how badly her use of the Wisteria had become. She wasn’t a medical student by any means, but she knew the tell-tale signs of an abuse problem. Y/N would not venture to say she was addicted, but she feared she was well on her way to that path – unless she did something about it right then.

She braced her hands against the cool porcelain of her sink and looked at her reflection, jolting slightly at the face that stared back at her.

She still looked like herself, granted, but there was an unfamiliar hollowness in her cheeks, a vacancy in her slightly over-large eyes that made her uncomfortable. She stretched and winced at the ease with which she could just make out the number of ribs laying beneath her skin.  

Sanemi had been right – she’d let things go too far.

As she yanked on the shower nozzle to summon the water to chase away Douma’s sickening touch from her skin, Y/N resolved, right there, that she was done with Wisteria. She thought she should be done with alcohol as well, but she feared the symptoms of withdrawal – especially with how great her dependency on the two substances had grown over the last few months.

So, Y/N decided that she would never again allow those toxic little purple pills pass her lips, and slowly – but surely – wean herself off alcohol. She would not go back to the Kizuki, would not let herself give in to the temptations which flashed underneath the colorful strobe lights of the dance floor.

Her life, it appeared, depended upon it.

[in1-nutshell]

Fearless is still crying about Alabaster and Megs finds out. cut to the scavengers freaking the fuck out because holy shit Megatron is about to bust down their door and all because their newest member catfished his kid.

Finally!

Definitely going to be doing a long version of this in the future

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless and Alabaster

SFW, Platonic, Angst, Hinted romance, Human reader

MTMTE

There had been a noticeable change on the Lost Light.

It was the behavior of the ship’s resident human, Fearless.

Ever since their no show to trivia night, and the sudden sick day they took after, they had been… quiet.

Their demeanor reminded the original crew members how they acted the first few days on the ship.

More composed, stiffer, more neutrality in their tone, more… robotic.

Magnus: “I do believe that concludes today’s meeting.” Fearless wordlessly starts packing up their things. Rodimus: “Hey Fearless, there’s karaoke night over at Swerve’s. You wanna team up for tonight’s duo performance?” Fearless: “I’m afraid I cannot tonight, Captain. There are too many reports to fill in after Whirl’s last escape from the brig. Have a good night.” Fearless tries to leave the room before Megatron stands in their way. Fearless: “Megatron, is there something you need?” Megatron: “I need assistance in getting the classes grades in the system.” Fearless: “Just send the work to my mail and I will get to it. Good night.” Fearless wordlessly goes around the mech and makes their way to their habsuite. Rodimus: “Nothing?” Magnus: “Anything? Megatron sighs: “Nothing.”

The human barely interacted with the bots and always headed back to their room as soon as they finished their tasks for the day.

The only other bot on board who had the slightest idea what was going on was Whirl.

But even he refused to say much.

Mainly because all he knew was that he needed to pummel someone who made Fearless sob up a storm and he didn’t even have a name!

Whenever he wasn’t in the brig, Whirl became a bodyguard of sorts.

Always watching Fearless surroundings for any sign that the bot who did this was on board.

Megatron had tried to talk to them, but even that left fruitless.

Megatron is sitting next to Fearless in the empty classroom. Megatron: “There is something you are not telling me.” Fearless stays silent. Megatron: “… I will not force you to talk, you can come to me when you are ready… but remember the crew, that I am here to listen when you wish to speak.” Fearless’s eyes gloss a bit, but they bite their tongue and leave the grey mech alone. Megatron looks at his child sadly but decides to trust what Rung had advised him to do. Don’t force it, let them come to you.

Megatron didn’t like seeing his kid like this.

Even Rung tried coaxing Fearless into having a private session to figure out what was going on.

And to many surprises, Fearless denied it.

The human was always advocating for the bots to go see Rung and went to him too.

But to suddenly not want to go?

This was bad.

It would be a month into this state when the Lost Light would get an unexpected visit from the WAP.

Maybe the visit of the Scavenger’s would cheer them up.

There were two things that the crew noticed immediately.

1. The scavengers had a new crewmate

2. They looked tense, especially the new crewmate.

Fearless arrives with Megatron and Magnus. Rodimus was already talking with the Scavengers. Rodimus looks over at the three. Rodimus: “Magnus, Megatron, Fearless, you remember the Scavengers, right? Well, they have a new member!” The bot steps forward stiffly and greets the bots. Alabaster: “My designation is Alabaster Lapis.” Fearless just looked at him with a surprised look. Fearless: “…Nice to meet you.” The bots detected a bit of hostility in the human. Rodimus: “How about we head to Swerve’s for some drinks? I think he has a new variety of mixes.” Megatron glances questionably at Fearless who looks ahead, not making contact with anyone.

Everyone dispersed once they got to the bar.

Many of the crew were surprised to see Fearless out and about for the first time in a month.

That comment caught Alabaster’s attention feeling the guilt rack up.

Alabaster saw a shooing motion from Misfire and Spinister before he reached the bar where Fearless was sitting.

He ordered a drink and sat beside them in silence.

They both knew they were delaying the inevitable… but maybe this could work in their favor

It was very awkward between the pair.

Fearless asked if his crew new about it.

Alabaster blinked before stating that they heard the conversation… and thoroughly beat him over the helm with his stupid mistakes.

Fearless chuckled a bit after hearing that Grimlock had swung his tail and had him dented on the side of the ship.

His spark fluttered a bit.

It had been a while since he heard their laughter.

This was a win.

Fearless looked around and asked him to grab them, they knew a place on the ship that would give them privacy.

They made their way to the oil reservoir.

That’s where Fearless mask dropped.

They looked at him with a mixture or sadness, frustration, anger, and something else. Fearless: “I thought we agreed in 3 more days. Or is there something else your not telling me about?” Alabaster: “We recently had repairs on an organic planet. They boosted our thruster systems.” Fearless: “And you didn’t think on telling me because…” Alabaster sighed and sat on the edge of the platform, his pedes dangling above the oil below. Alabaster: “I… I didn’t think it was important. We were already meeting each other; it was only 3 days. Those pass by in a blink of an optic.” Fearless huffs standing beside him but with an ample amount of space in between them. Fearless: “In case you forgot, time means something different to ‘organics’. If you need a reality check, we die much earlier than Cybertronians.” Alabaster: “…I know…” Fearless winces a bit at his defeated tone. Maybe they crossed a line. Fearless sits down on the edge, mimicking his stance. Fearless: “…Well… here we are…” Alabaster: “Here we are…” Silence… Fearless: “Why did you keep it on for so long?” Alabaster: “… I didn’t want to lose you.” Fearless: "would it matter if you did?” Alabaster looks at them with a serious expression. Alabaster: “Most defiantly.” He sighs softening his gaze. Alabaster: “I care about you, a lot. More than I want to admit it really. If there was a chance that you hated Cybertronian’s…” Fearless places a hand on one of his digits. Alabaster looks at them a bit surprised. Fearless smiles a bit. Fearless: “I’d be a pretty crummy friend if I did.” Alabaster: “So…” Fearless: “Well, the whole lying and the technical ‘catfishing’ is going to leave a mark.” Alabaster winces a bit at the sharpness in their voice. Fearless: “…But I don’t mind trying this friendship thing all over again.” Alabaster smiles a bit. Fearless stands up and offers him their hand. Fearless: “I’m Fearless.” Alabaster gently shakes their hand. Alabaster: “My name is Alabaster Lapis. You can call me Alabaster or Aster for short.” Fearless and Alabaster smile at each other.

The pair eventually made it back to Swerve’s where everyone else was.

The Scavengers were relieved to see the two in much better spirits and it was safe to assume that the two had talked it out.

The lost light crew looked over that the new mech who had Fearless perched on his shoulder.

It had been a month since Fearless had smiled that widely.

They looked almost like their usual self, a bit tired and drained but much better looking than last time.

Fearless made sure to give the Scavenger’s all goodbyes when they had to leave.

Fearless waves at the WAP as it leaves. Fearless sighs and looks behind them. Everyone is looking at them. Fearless: “Uhhh…” Whirl: “What did that bot do to you?” Fearless: “What?” Whirl: “I just got out of the brig to see you and that other guy smiling. You haven’t done that in weeks.” Megatron: “What whirl means to say is that we are all happy to see that you have moved from your depressive state… but we are curious to what happened.” Fearless looked at the direction of the WAP. They were safe enough. Fearless: “Okay… but you all have to SWEAR not to do ANYTHING drastic or harmful.” The bots look around confused. Fearless: “All right, here goes…” Hopefully things did not go off the rails… Oh, who were they kidding, this was the Lost Light, going off the rails happened every other day. On the WAP... Alabaster suddenly shudders. Alabaster: “I feel like I’m in danger…”

alabaster feeling the rage of the Lost Light thousand miles away

[ilovehugslikealotalot]

A FOOL’S LOVE

req: basically r pulled an Emily and died on everyone, just to add to the trauma she died in Emily’s arms because that’s a great start to a Emily Prentiss x fem!r fic right?? So, she not dead really but people don’t know that. Basically Emily’s just missing her more than usual until the Attorney General reveals that y/n had been on a mission and stayed low. Nobody in the team knew about it, in order to make sure there were no distractions at all. Emily basically just doesn’t know how to feel.

WARNING: angst, sad!emily, r is gone for 8 months, reunion, betrayl?, trauma bc it’s Criminal minds, cursing, implied smut, wife!emily

Today marked the anniversary of y/n’s death. In truth, all of the team died a little that day, it was just a matter of how much. For most it took over a month, at least. For Emily..no, she couldn’t get over it.

She found herself at the Shooting range for hours at a time just trying to get her mind off of the hell she was living.

No matter how hard she tried, she experienced the love of her life die in her arms. It haunted her more than anything in her life had. She once told some, “After being assaulted, drugged, and killed in the line of duty, I figured what’s the worst that could happen.”

This. This is the worst.

She could still vividly remember the smell of blood that overloaded her senses, she could hear her own screaming, she tried so hard to stop the bleed but it just kept coming. ———

“no, no, no, no. Baby, stay with me, please!” Emily sobbed, she tried putting as much pressure as she could as she screamed for a medic, someone, anyone to help her.

“Em, hey, look at me..” she said weakly, holding her wife’s face, “Calm down, it’ll be alright” she whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. Blood covered her vest, sirens glared outside, “Help is here, you’re going to be okay! I love you so much, please don’t die on me, I can’t lose you too” Emily held her close and sobbed, she could feel your breathing become shallow. The paramedic swiftly but quickly took y/n away. Leaving Emily soaked in a pool of her own wife’s blood.

———

“Emily? You get that?” JJ asked, holding her arm, the section chief nodded and skimmed through the file. “Okay so, the Attorney General asked us to take a rest from cases and finish up some reports and paper work. We all have a meeting with her back here at 7:00” Emily announced, Shooting up from her chair and walking to her office locking it behind her. Her blind were already shut so she just plopped down on her chair.

She felt a burning in her eyes as she flipped through files. Her breath seemed to get caught in her throat while her vision blurred. Emily gripped her pen, angrily snapping it and throwing it down on te ground the ink splattering on the ground next to her, it was red, reminding her of the blood…so much blood. Affer y/n’s death, she wasn’t really the same, she was the shell of the person she once was. Her temper was shorter and her work hours seemed to add up.

She was almost never home the smell reminding her of y/n and the love she could never have again. But, she came home most weekends wanting to just sleep in her clothes all day. The house wasn’t a mess because she hadnt touched anything since she died that day. But she did get the strength to clean dishes once in a while. But there was never much considering she lived on coffee and granola bars.

Emily stared at the framed photo of her and y/n reminding herself that they never got the chance to start a family. They were thinking about adoption and hopefully raise the kid as their own.

She let out a sob, her head in her hands as she wailed, her throat closing up as she struggled to compose herself.

She couldn’t do this.

No, not without her

The night that y/n passed on was the hardest, she refused to believe she was gone, telling herself that it was just some sick joke. She cursed everything and cried for months blaming herself for not acting quicker. Some people told her to just move on, Emily had lived without her once, she could do it again.

No. She couldn’t just move on. That was before she knew that y/n was the one person that she needed, the one person that she truly wanted. Her heart ached if she was gone from her for even a moment, she couldn’t last a day without giving her a call. At this point she must’ve called her so many times, each time she held onto the hope she would answer. That her sweet voice would be at the other side.

It wasn’t possible to forget her wife, not when she gave her so much to remember. It pained her that she waited for a love that would never comeback, she was pissed at the world and herself.

It should’ve been her instead of y/n that night, she could vividly remember the sound of y/n’s laughter which quickly melted into horrified and pained screams. She could hear the killer’s voice in her ear, he taunted Emily and blindfolded her, letting her only hear the screams of terror as he stabbed her wife. Her y/n.

She could’ve untied the ropes faster, gotten her to sit up off of the floor faster, she could’ve killed him sooner.

Emily clearly recalled y/n telling her to move on and be happy, it was the only thing she asked of her before her passing. How could she ask such a thing?

Emily practically fell in love the moment she saw her, how could she ever feeling the same way about someone else. No one could replace her. Ever.

Thinking back to the memories, she sniffled but smiled a little knowing not all of her was gone.

————

“Oh, Emily this is our new Agent, Y/n Y/l/n” Hotch introduced, letting y/n shake the other woman’s hand, “Hello, it’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard of your case, you’re brilliant” she complimented, drawing a deep blush from the older woman. She stuttered for a second trying to register the words. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you too, I’m Emily Prentiss”

It wasn’t long before the team began to meddle with their blossoming love, JJ, Garcia, and Rossi being the most active with their witty remarks about the two. It wasn’t long before Hotch left and Emily stepped up that they got together.

It was supposed to be a secret, that was until Emily forgot to lock the door mid make out session and Tara happened to walk in.

———

She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling like rain. It was close to the meeting and she couldn’t let anyone see her like this. So, she cleaned herself up and stepped out of her office for the first time that day. Tara was the only one in the bullpen, the others, she assumed were out somewhere getting coffee.

“Hey, you been crying again?” The doctor asked, opening her arms up for the other woman. Emily nodded, fighting back the resurfacing tears. “I know it’s the anniversary of her death, Em. If it helps, I’ll come with you to her grave after the meeting” Tara smiled sadly, the team all came in, JJ handing Emily a warm cup. Deep down, they all felt sorry for Emily. They knew how much they loved each other and how much they’ve sacrificed. As 7:00 approached they all filed into the debriefing room, an extra chair was out for the Attorney General, Deborah, and there was an empty chair next to Emily. Y/n’s old chair..

As much as they hate to admit it, they pretend she’s still sitting their with her giddy smile and optimistic nature. “Hello, Agents, I thank you for coming in,” Deborah said with confidence and authority radiating off of her, “As you know, Agent Y/l/n had sadly passed on the field approximately 8 months ago, it has also come to my attention that you are all aware of Project Morning Glory, correct?” They nodded their heads some flinching at the mention of y/n, who they all had tried to not think about all day.

“The Project has been fulfilled and the target has been neutralized. We needed absolutely no distraction for her whatsoever, so I ordered for her to fake her death” Luke was the first to speak out, “what?” He let out a sigh of relief and astonishment, “she’s alive?”

”Yes, Agent Alvez, y/n is very much alive” Everyone was completely and utterly flabbergasted, Emily blocked everyone out the thoughts in her brain being incoherent as she played it all back to the moment she held her wife close, screaming at the Lord above for any kind of help. “I saw her bleeding out, I smelled the blood, I felt her go limp, she’s dead” Emily had refused to believe it, the tears pooling in her eyes for what seemed like the billionth time that day. She had been close to accepting that that she was gone, now this?

“If you have concerns, please, direct them toward me-“ Deborah began but was sharply cut off by a hurting Emily Prentiss. “Concerns? I have concerns, alright! For 8 months my team has been struggling, I’m struggling!” Emily stood up from her seat, her hands gripping the round table. Everyone lowered their heads a bit, even though her wrath hadn’t reached it’s peak yet. “Case after case, do you know what we’ve gone through? The sacrifices? Yes, I have concerns!”

JJ felt tensions rise, as she picked her head up to see Emily spilling tears, “I begged for her to come back. As a shadow, even in a dream. You took my wife from me, you are sick” Emily said through gritted teeth, the Attorney General looked guilty for a moment before smiling at the door.

“Agent Y/l/n, it’s nice to see your face”

Emily frozed, she wasn’t ready, when everyone turned around and cried during the reunion, Emily didn’t turn, the 8 months she had replaying in her head in a constant loop. Her lack of motivation and depressive episodes got worse, she needed y/n and now it seemed like she was just stabbed the in the back.

Nothing could stop this Internal war she was having with herself, she couldn’t believe her ears, it was like she wanted to move but her body refused to. “Emily? Honey?” Y/n called out, her sweet voice a little more tired sounding. Her hair was still the same, assuming she had to maintain an image while being undercover as a secretary to a high-stakes business man. A small cut was above her forehead, her lips were swollen light she had just taken a beating. She had hoped for a more sweet reunion but deep down she knew Emily needed time.

Emily was angered, she couldn’t take the sight of anyone, so instead of getting a sweet kiss and a long hug she stormed out her head full of thoughts she could hardly process, while people tried calling out or going after her, Y/n stopped thme knowing her wife would need time. ——

In her office, Emily knocked her files off the desk with a loud grunt, she slammed her fist down on the desk and yelled cursed as she tore books from the sheleves, and even threw the framed photograph of her and y/n across the room. She rested her herself on the table behind her desk. She sighed, as she felt a cut on her knuckle she brushed it off and sniffled, straightening her blazer when the door opened.

“Emily? I know you might not be ready to talk, I just wanted to let you know I was sorry, I was going to reject the offer but he was gonna go after you, I just…I couldn’t risk that.” Y/n admitted closing the door softly, noticing the room looking like a tornado had hit it, she smiled softly seeing the framed picture and picked it up.

“I mourned you, I lost the one person I loved most in this world, I finally got what I wanted, what I needed. Then, you just got ripped away from me, I couldn’t handle it” Emily sobbed, hurriedly walking over to her wife and sobbed between words, “I couldn’t move on, just thinking about it made me sick, I blamed myself for it everyday, and every night the same nightmare.” The emotional state the Unit Chief was in was overwhleming to say the least, the woman was shaking as she buckled at the knees. “I’m here to stay, for as long as you’ll have me”

“Stay forever then?” She sniffled, kissing her lips softly, the world disappearing around them, right now, it was just Emily and Y/n, no cases, no missions, no death. Just love.

[iovetecchou]

Oblivious.

Part 12.

Oblivious Masterlist!

Pairings… Tecchou Suehiro x Reader and Jouno Saigiku x Reader

Contains… smut. loss of virginity, threesome, consent!, praise, use of "good boy" and "good girl", creampies, fluff, aftercare, hugs, kisses, tending to wounds.

AFAB Reader she/they pronouns used.

6,034 words.

the time has come. (literally)

It's been four months since you started dating both Jouno and Tecchou, and things couldn’t be better! The three of you were moving fast. In just over a month, you all decided to take that leap, and live together. Tecchou and Jouno put their apartments up on the market and moved into your humble abode. You all spent every waking moment with one another, and Jouno began to ease up on his strict rules. When two months had passed by, Jouno felt comfortable enough to let Tecchou touch him. In baby steps of course.

Tecchou would occasionally kiss both you and Jouno on the cheek when he left earlier than the rest of you in the morning. Causing poor Jouno to flush greatly. You three would often bathe together and brush each other's hair. You had dinner every single night, it was a tradition at this point. Around the three-month mark, you broke the news to the rest of the Hunting Dogs. They were shocked, to say the least. But the energy around headquarters was so much better now that the three of you were together. So, they accepted it for what it was. Teruko would tease you relentlessly and ask you how you “took both at the same time” which would fluster you immensely. But, that was just the thing. You still haven’t gone ‘all the way’ with the two of them. Not because you didn’t want to, no it wasn’t that. But work got busy, and with the whole move, all three of you had your hands full. Sure, you would all fool around with light grinding, a few hand jobs, and face-sitting. But that's all you guys really had the time for and you were starting to crave them both more and more. 

It was your birthday… and of course, you were out on a job. It had to be a son of a bitch too, you and Tachihara had to fight tooth and nail just to come out victorious. When you both finished wrapping everything up and stating your full report to Fukuchi it was well past six at night. You were crushed, nearly your whole birthday was wasted on some crummy criminals. You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes as you made your way down the hallway, toward your apartment door. You tried to wipe the tears as you swung the door open, you didn’t want to alarm your two boyfriends who were just past the door. The second you stepped past the threshold, both men were on you.

“Princess, what's the matter? I could hear you crying from all the way down the hall.” Jouno frowned, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. Wiping away a tear that you must have missed. “Ah, angel… you’re all cut up. Here, let me start you a bath.” Tecchou said softly, bringing his own hand up to grip your arm. Bringing it closer to his face so he could assess the damage. You couldn’t help but sob freely now, you felt overwhelmed. All you wanted was to spend your birthday with your two lovely boyfriends, but the day was nearly gone, and now you’re crying. Concerning them even further was the last thing you wanted to do. Both men pulled you in almost instantly when you began sobbing.

They wrapped both of their arms around your waist, pulling you in so your face was flush in between their two bodies. “You guys… I’m sorry for crying like this. I just wanted today to be special, but the mission was brutal, and now it's midday. I feel like this birthday is just passing me by!” You wailed out, clutching the front of their shirts as you continued to shake in their embrace. “Oh princess… there, there. It’s quite alright, and you’re home now so just try to relax. I made your favorite, shabu-shabu, and Suehiro and I have a special surprise for dessert. So, why don’t you let Hiro bathe you while I finish up in the kitchen, hm?” Jouno spoke softly, now soothing his hand over your back as your sobs let up. 

“Sai is right baby, you’re here now. Just let us make the rest of your birthday as special as we can, okay?” Tecchou exclaimed, pulling away from the embrace so he could clasp your hand within his own. He pulled you towards the bathroom as Jouno made his way back to the kitchen. The second you two stepped through the bathroom door, Tecchou began filling up the tub. Making sure to add extra bubble bath today. You sniffled slightly as you tugged your work uniform off, wincing a bit as you grazed a few open cuts. Tecchou whirled his head around at the sound, immediately coming to your aid. “Oh angel, these look painful… here, step in the tub. I’ll wash these out for you.” You nodded, head still hanging low as Tecchou guided you into the water slowly. You sighed as the hot water soothed over your aching muscles. Tecchou grabbed a small washcloth from the cabinet before he made his way back to the tub. He kneeled in front of you, grabbing some body soap as he began to lather up the cloth.

“Thank you for taking care of me like this, Hiro.” He began gliding the soapy towel over your open wounds delicately. Being careful to not hurt you further. “You don’t need to thank me, y/n. I’m your partner, and I hate seeing you cry. Just try to relax, there's still plenty of time to have a great birthday.” He smiled up at you at the end of his sentence. His gorgeous chestnut irises pooling with so much love for you. Your heart swelled, he was right. There was no point in crying right now, you were home now. In the comforting presence of your two loves. You took in a shaky breath before you leaned over the tub. Craning your neck up to capture Tecchou’s lips. He instantly reciprocated, bringing his soapy hands up to hold your waist for support. You stayed like that for a few moments longer before you pulled back. A smile found its way to your features, and Tecchou let out a short sigh of relief. “There's that pretty smile… turn around baby, let me scrub your back.” He whispered out against your lips, and you simply nodded in response. Sinking back into the tub as you obeyed his request. 

————————————————————————

After Tecchou finished cleaning you up and treating your wounds he made quick work of dressing you in some comfy pajamas. You were giggling to yourself slightly as he scooped you up into his arms, lulling you out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. “Sai, I have a special delivery for you! One birthday girl coming right… up!” Tecchou exclaimed, laughing himself now as he approached Jouno with you still tangled in his grasp bridal-style. “Oh? Why thank you, Hiro. How did you know I’ve been longing for one of those.” Jouno snickered out, he leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead from within Tecchou’s grasp. “You guys are too much… Hiro, baby, put me down!” You giggled out, swinging your feet slightly from where he held you. He just grinned widely at you, before gently placing you down against the cool tile floor. “Okay, okay. Sai, is dinner ready? I'm starving…” Tecchou groaned out, kissing your cheek hastily as he made his way to the kitchen table. He plopped down in his usual seat as he peered over at the two of you. Jouno had snaked his arms around your waist from where he now stood behind you. Resting his head atop your own as he rubbed his hands over your tummy gently. “Relax, you caveman. It’s ready. Princess, why don’t you take a seat. I'll make you a plate and bring it over, sound good?” Jouno dipped down as he whispered into your ear. You smiled, turning on your heel so you were now face to face with your wonderful boyfriend. You placed a loving kiss on his lips, resting your hands atop his sturdy chest for balance as you rose up to the balls of your feet. “Okay, Giku! Thank you for the food!” He smiled down at you softly. He much preferred to hear you laugh as opposed to hearing your pitiful little sobs. It broke his heart to hear you so upset. You skipped your way over to the table, finding your seat as you took ahold of Tecchou’s hands. Squeezing them softly as you shot him a warm grin. 

“Okay my darlings, eat up. Hiro, no funny business. Eat it as is, or starve.” Jouno smiled eerily sweetly to the other man as he placed the food in front of you both. “Sir yes, Sir...” Jouno walked to the counter, grabbing himself a portion before he made his way back to the table. Taking his seat beside you. “Saigiku, this is amazing! It reminds me of that one day we all spent together a few months back. It was the first time you made this for us, and I loved it then just as much as I do now!” You trailed off, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek before you returned back to your plate. Savoring every last bite. 

“That was the same day we all got naked for the first time together and-“ 

“Suehiro- time and place… you perverse mutt.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at their bickering. Even after living together for all this time, they still have their moments. But you love that about them, it wouldn’t be the same without just a pinch of chaos. “Ah… I love you both so much. Thank you for making this birthday one worth remembering.” You were smiling so gently as you peered over at the both of them. They softened up at your words, putting their full attention on you now. “We love you too, princess. Now, you finish up eating. Hiro and I are just going to prepare your dessert. Meet us in the bedroom when you’re ready, understood?” Jouno rose from his chair, leaning over you and peering down. His beautiful face was now right in front of yours as he awaited a response. “Kay, I’ll be over in a little bit!” You giggled out, pushing your face just an inch closer to his. You nuzzled your nose into his own before you placed a warm kiss atop his lips. He couldn’t help but melt at how cute you were. You truly made his life worth living. “Don’t keep us waiting too long, princess.” He teased, leaving one last kiss on your forehead. He began taking strides towards the bedroom, with Tecchou in tow. “I miss you already, angel!” Tecchou shouted out from the hall, causing you to laugh just a little bit harder at his cuteness. Ah, what would you do without these two?

———————————————————————

You finished up around ten minutes later. Placing the three dirty dishes into the sink before you made your way to the bedroom. The second you opened the door, your heartbeat picked up. The sight in front of you was truly divine. Tecchou and Jouno were sitting at the edge of your shared bed, wearing completely nothing. Your eyes greedily took in the sight of their bare bodies before you, as warmth began to pool in your core. “This is what you two meant by dessert?” You questioned, now approaching where they sat. “Surprise?” Tecchou exclaimed as he pushed himself off the bed, now standing directly at your side. “Suehiro and I have been planning this for a few weeks now. We want to make sure your first time is perfect. That is if you’re comfortable with going all the way tonight.” Jouno spoke up, making his way to stand beside you as well. Your eyes lit up at his words. You were more than ready, you’d been dreaming of this moment for ages now. “Yes… I want to, I’m ready.” You said confidently, reaching out for both of their hands from where they now stood beside you. Both of your partners smiled down at you at your confession. “I’m so glad to hear angel, then, I guess there’s no time to waste,” Tecchou spoke out as he began to toy with the hem of your shirt. “Arms up!” He ordered, making you giggle at his sudden change of tone. You happily obliged, nonetheless. Jouno began tugging the waistband of your sleep shorts and panties down. “Let’s get you comfortable, hm?” Jouno whispered out against your bare legs as he rose back to his feet. You stepped out of the clothes now pooling at your feet before you spoke up. “Okay, I’m letting you boys take the reins tonight.” You put all of your trust in them. You knew they would treat you perfectly tonight. “Lie back on the bed for us, okay?” Jouno was now face to face with you as Tecchou remained on your side. The dark-haired man only nodded in agreement at Jouno’s words. 

You slowly approached the bed, climbing atop it before you made yourself comfortable on your back. The sight of your bare body on display for the both of them had Tecchou’s cock twitching to life, which you hadn't failed to notice. Tecchou crawled up beside you, laying down on his side as he gazed at you lovingly. He brought his hands up to caress your supple skin. His hand trailed up the expanse of your tummy, slowly inching its way toward your bare breasts. “Tonight is all about you, angel,” Tecchou whispered out, bringing his head down to kiss the side of your neck. You gasped out as you felt Jouno crawl up the bed resting flat on his stomach between your legs. He began kissing up the expanse of your thighs, as Tecchou began to nip at your neck. You panted out at the feeling of them both kissing and licking all over your body. You closed your eyes at the wonderful sensations. Tecchou’s hand came up to play with your taught nipple as his mouth traveled further down. He was licking down your throat, leaving pretty little love bites in his wake as he traveled down even more. His lips were hovering over your chest now as his fingers continued to tweak your sensitive nipple. He latched his lips around your other breast, sucking on your flesh gently as his hand continued to work magic on your other bud. “Ah… Hiro…” You whined out as you brought your hand up to tangle between his dark locks. Jouno moved his hands further up your thighs, causing you to twitch from where you lay beneath them. 

You could feel his breath hovering over your clit as he continued to caress your smooth skin. “You’re doing so good for us, princess,” Jouno whispered softly as he brought his hand up to rest atop your pelvis. He snaked his hand down far enough to thumb at your clit gently. You whined out at the friction, pulling on Tecchou’s locks slightly. The dark-haired man grunted out, as he continued to suckle your breasts. He pulled his body up so he was hovering over you before he moved his lips over to your other tit. He brought his other hand up to play with your saliva-covered nipple. You couldn’t help the way your back arched off the bed at his actions. Jouno brought his other hand up to your entrance, slowly trailing his pointer and index finger up the length of your pussy. He smirked to himself at the arousal that was now coating his digits. “Good girl… you’re so wet for us already.” Jouno cooed out as he slowly plunged his two deft fingers into your sopping hole. “Mn… Sai…” You whined out as your hips twitched. Jouno’s hand that was still pressing down on your pelvis kept you still, not halting on his movements to your clit for even a second. You were clenching around his digits so tightly, Jouno could feel his cock throbbing from where it was pressed against the mattress. Tecchou pulled off of your tit as he gasped out for air. He brought his face up to hover over yours before he pulled you in for a kiss. Your hands were carding through his locks now as you moaned into his mouth. Jouno had slipped a third finger into your wet heat while you were distracted, you groaned out at the foreign feeling. Your walls clamped down around his fingers harshly as your body adjusted to the stretch. 

“You’re taking it so well. Tell me when you feel ready, understood princess?” Jouno spoke softly, continuing his soft thrusts into your tight pussy. His thumb against your clit had your eyes rolling back in your head. His hands were wonderful, he always knew just the right buttons to press on you. Tecchou pulled back from your lips so you were able to speak up. “I think I’m ready, Saigiku…” Tecchou smiled down at you, holding your gaze as he rose up from his place. “Just let us know when it becomes too much, okay angel?” Tecchou spoke up as Jouno began to rise from the bed. The two men had swapped places. Now Jouno was laying beside you, while Tecchou positioned himself at your entrance from between your thighs. “Wait why did you two…?” You trailed off, gaze darting between the two men in confusion. Jouno sighed at your words before Tecchou answered for both of them. “We had a small competition to see who got to be inside of you first, and I won,” Tecchou exclaimed proudly as he smiled down at the both of you. Showing off his gorgeous pearly whites. You giggled slightly at his words as you turned your head to face Jouno. “It’s true… I lost to Suehiro once more… It’s utterly humiliating.” You brought your hand up to cup Jouno’s face. “Shh… there, there Giku. You’ll have your turn with me soon enough, and then, you can fuck me however you’d like kay?” You cooed out at him, causing the light-haired man to flush at your words. He smirked up at you softly, simply nodding his head in agreement before Tecchou’s words drew your attention back to him. “Okay, angel I’m going to go slow. Tell me if you need me to stop.” Tecchou’s hands were now holding your waist as the tip of his cock prodded your awaiting heat. You slowly whined out at the feeling as Tecchou began to push into you carefully. You cried out, grabbing ahold of the sheets below you with one hand. Your other hand found its way to Jouno’s, you squeezed his fingers tightly as you continued to take Tecchou inch by inch. “Shit baby… you’re s-so tight…” Tecchou let out a whine of his own.

The feeling of you clamping around his dick so harshly had him throbbing from deep within you as you took him to the hilt. His full balls now kissed the underside of your pussy as he stilled inside of you. Allowing the both of you to get used to the feeling. “Hiro… you’re so b-big… I feel so full…” You babbled out. Head lulling towards Jouno’s direction as he squeezed your hand tightly in reassurance. “You’re doing so good for Hiro, princess.” Jouno cooed out, untangling his hand from your own so he could trail his fingers down your tummy. Tecchou remained completely still, gritting his teeth at the otherworldly feeling of being one with you. It felt better than he imagined. Jouno’s fingers traveled down further, he pressed his pointer and index finger over your clit softy. You gasped out as he began to make quick circles over your puffy bud. “Ahn… Sai… Hiro, I t-think I’m ready now. You can m-move…” You whined out, still clutching the sheets harshly from within your grasp. Your free hand traveled up to hold Jouno’s forearm as he continued to rub your clit so delicately. “Okay, angel. Tell me if you need me to stop.” And with that, Tecchou pulled back slowly. Having you both gasp out in unison. Your walls were burning up at the pleasurable foreign feeling. And Tecchou doubled over as your walls continued to pulse and squeeze him even tighter from Jouno’s ministrations on your sensitive bud. Tecchou slowly pushed back inside of you, you whined out at the feeling once more as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. “F-Fuck, y/n… you’re sucking me in so good, I-I can barely even move…” He trailed off, as his face was now hovering in front of yours. Jouno just continued to listen quietly. His hand was still snaked in between yours and Tecchou’s body as his deft digits began to work your clit faster. 

Tecchou formed a rhythm, delivering slow shallow thrusts to your pussy. His eyes were squeezed shut at the immeasurable amount of pleasure he was feeling. You moved your hand that was tangled beneath the bedsheets up to Tecchou’s waist. Clinging onto him tightly as his thrusts began to pick up in pace. “Ah… Suehiro, It feels so fucking good… don’t stop…!” You babbled out in between moans, grasping onto Jouno’s forearm fiercer as his movements against your clit never let up for a second. Jouno’s cock twitched at the lewd sounds yours and Tecchou’s bodies were making. He could hear the wet squelching with each thrust Tecchou delivered into your drooling pussy. He could also smell your arousal as you continued to make a mess all over Tecchou’s cock. Your scent flooded his senses, and your beautiful whines and pleas for more were just the icing on top. “Good girl, princess. Are you going to cum for us? I’m sure Suehiro would love it if you gushed all over him.” Jouno whispered out into your ear as he began to rub your swollen bud at an unrelenting pace. You clamped around Tecchou’s cock like a vise. Causing the man above you to whine loudly at the wonderful feeling. You could feel him twitching from within your walls as the tip of his cock continued to prod your sweet spot. Your back was arching off the bed further, pressing your bare chest impossibly closer to Tecchou’s as you gripped his waist harshly. Your knuckles turned white as you felt the coil within you begin to unravel. “Ah… Sai, she’s squeezing me so tight, I can feel them pulsing around me too… I don’t think I can hold out for much longer.” Tecchou panted out in between thrusts. His pace was becoming sloppy and erratic as he continued to throb from deep within you. 

“Then cum, Hiro. I’m sure y/n wouldn’t mind one bit. Isn’t that right, princess?” Jouno quipped out, he was grinning widely as you continued to thrash around on the bed from both of their actions. He could hear your heart pounding against your chest as you continued to whine out for both of them. “Yes… y-yes- Suehiro, please… p-please cum inside me!” You blurted out, eyes shooting wide open at a particular flick of Jouno’s digits at your clit. He was pressing into your bud with just the right amount of force, skillfully gliding his fingers around your puffy clit at an unwavering pace. Jouno was smirking now at your words, and at the way Tecchou whined out from above. “Sai- Hiro, I… ah… I’m cumming!” You screamed out, toes curling as you dug your nails into Jouno’s forearm as well as into Tecchou’s waist. Jouno’s smirk grew tenfold at your actions, working you through your high as you began to gush around Tecchou’s dick. Tecchou felt the overwhelming sensation of you squirting and squeezing around his cock so perfectly. His hips stilled from within you, the grip you had around his cock was too intense, and he could barely move from within you. “Shit angel m’ cumming… fuck!” Tecchou exclaimed, lips hovering directly over yours now as the first ropes of his cum began to spill inside of you. Tecchou’s eyes were still screwed shut, you watched the way his face melted in pure bliss as he stuffed you full of his cum. There was a little bit of drool slipping past his lips as his jaw went slack, and the sight of his beautiful face lost in pleasure had you whining out. “Hn… Hiro, there’s so much, I can still feel you filling me up.” You whimpered out. The feeling of his dick twitching from within you as his hot cum continued to paint your walls white had you closing your eyes once more. Jouno’s hand stilled against your clit. He slowly snaked his arm out from between both of your bodies. Bringing his hand up to your face. 

He slowly sat up from where he lay beside you. Bringing his other hand up to play with Tecchou’s hair as the dark-haired man’s cock finally stopped twitching from within you. Tecchou opened his eyes slowly, as he brought his own hand up to caress your other cheek. Your own lids shot open at the feeling of both of your boyfriends soothing over your face. Your gaze met Tecchou’s. He was smiling down at you so warmly, his eyes held so much love and adoration for you at that moment. You couldn’t help the smile that inched its way across your own features. “You both did so well. Tell me princess, was your first time as good as you hoped for?” Jouno’s voice brought your full attention to him, You turned your head to the side slightly to get a better view of his frame. He was kneeling atop the duvet now, facing both you and Tecchou. You watched as he continued to card his fingers through Tecchou’s messy locks playfully. His cock was painfully hard, you watched as it bobbed up and down against his lower tummy. His hand never once wavered from its place atop your cheek. You brought your hand up, placing it over his own before you spoke up. “It was perfect, you both made me feel so loved. It was better than I pictured. But, it's not over just yet. Hiro, baby, why don’t you switch places with Sai, yeah?” You whispered out, bringing your gaze back over to an awaiting Tecchou at the end of your sentence. He simply nodded once in agreement before he pulled himself up. 

Tecchou slowly pulled his now softening cock out of your welcoming heat, hissing slightly at the loss of contact. His cum and your arousal began seeping out of your hole and onto the sheets below. You whined at the sudden empty feeling as Tecchou climbed his way over to lay on your other side. Jouno slowly crept his way over between your parted thighs. His face was flushed so cutely as he hesitantly lined himself up at your awaiting entrance. “Are you sure you’re still feeling up for this, princess? If not, that's quite alright. We can-“ You cut him off swiftly, sitting up where you sat so you could grasp his bare waist from where he knelt between your thighs. “Saigiku, I want you, just as much as I want Suehiro, so please, fuck me. I want you to feel just as wonderful tonight.” You whispered out softly, giving his waist a reassuring squeeze as his mouth parted slightly at your confession. He took in one shaky breath before he nodded his head down at you. Letting the head of his sensitive cock prod your slippery cunt. “Okay, princess, your wish is my command.” And with that, Jouno began pushing himself inside of you, his eyes shot open in an instant, a sultry whine slipping past his lips as he doubled over. His face was now only centimeters away from your own as you moved your hands up his body to cup his cheeks. You slowly laid back down on the mattress, pulling Jouno’s body flush against your own as he buried himself to the hilt inside of you. “Ahn… fuck- y/n you feel so w-wonderful. I-I don’t know how long I’ll be able to l-last like this…” Jouno confessed, his ears were a bright red, as his blush spread down his whole chest. His cock was twitching wildly from within your messy pussy.

The feeling of Tecchou’s sticky cum and your slippery arousal now coating Jouno’s aching cock left him breathless. It was like no other sensation he’s ever experienced before because it was you. The love he had for you made this whole experience so much more compelling. His mind was so fuzzy as drool began to seep past his parted lips. He hasn’t even moved inside of you yet, but he was already so pussy drunk. Your poor baby was just too sensitive, it made your chest bloom with warmth. “It’s okay baby, you feel so good inside of me. I want you to fill me up too.” You whined out, caressing your thumbs over his cheeks as you gazed into his ethereal eyes. You never got tired of looking at them, Jouno was so gorgeous to you. Perfect in every way. Tecchou quietly watched the intimate moment you two shared from where he lay beside you. He slowly moved his hand up to caress Jouno’s back causing the sensitive man to jolt forward, delivering a delicious amount of friction into your messy cunt. You moaned out at the feeling as Jouno did the same, he was whining so needily right in front of your lips. It made your pussy clench around him even tighter. “You’re doing so good Sai, making our baby feel real special right now too. You can’t see it, but just know, she’s staring at you with so much adoration right now.” Tecchou whispered as he continued to run his fingers up the expanse of Jouno’s back. “F-Fuck… y/n… Hiro…” Jouno whimpered out, testing the waters slightly by letting his hips move forward. 

You gasped as Jouno delivered his first thrust into your aching cunt. It felt so wonderful, they both felt perfect inside of you. In their own different ways. Tecchou was a bit thicker than Jouno, but his counterpart made up for it in length. You could feel the tip of Jouno’s cock kissing your sweet spot as he found his rhythm. He was slowly rocking his hips, giving you quick deep thrusts. You fucking loved it, you brought your legs up to tangle around his waist, pulling him in impossibly closer as he continued to fuck up into you. “Hmm… you’re so deep baby, I can feel you stirring up my insides…” You babbled out, making Jouno jolt slightly from the close proximity you had to his ears. Your noses were brushing up against one another as Jouno continued to make love to you. Sharing the same air as you gazed into is glassed over irises. “Good boy, Saigiku. I think our angel is getting close.” Tecchou whispered out. Still caressing the sensitive man before him. Jouno could barely think, the praise from his counterpart left him whining and twitching from within you even more. The prominent vein along the underside of his cock scraped against your walls so deliciously. 

You began to feel your release bubble up. The lewd noises your bodies were making left your mind murky. All you could think about was how deep Jouno was inside of you, and how amazing it felt. “Saigiku… I’m gonna cum, please- kiss me!” You cried out, and with no hesitation at all, Jouno smashed his lips against your own. He was drooling and whining into your mouth so sweetly as you tipped over the edge. You squeezed your legs around his waist impossibly tighter as you gushed around his cock. The second he felt you convulsing and squirting on his dick, he was gone. His hips stilled as he pushed himself balls deep inside of you. The tip of his length kissed your cervix as he shot his load inside of you. You were whimpering into the messy kiss the two of you shared. Your pussy was milking him for all he was worth, and it was overwhelming. He continued to spill his cum deep within you, whole body shaking above you as he groaned into your mouth as well. He pulled away from the kiss moments later, gasping for air as he collapsed on top of you. He was still throbbing inside your spent pussy. You could feel him begin to soften from within you a few minutes later. Being inside of your wet sticky cunt like this was beginning to overstimulate him so he pulled back from your embrace.

As he sat up, his cock slipped out of you with ease. He whimpered at the sensation of no longer being inside of you. His cock was coated in his, yours, and Tecchou’s release now. The remaining cum slipped out of your used pussy the second he pulled out. Making more of a mess on your sheets below. “Saigiku baby… that felt so good…” You babbled out. Your legs felt weak as you slowly sat up from the bed. Tecchou was on you instantly, caressing your hair gently and rubbing your hip lovingly with his other hand. “Are you okay angel? Do you want me to run you a shower?” Ah, your sweet, sweet, Suehiro. You closed your eyes, smiling to yourself softly as you nuzzled your face into his embrace. “I'm better than okay, thank you both for making this birthday one worth remembering. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.” You stated gently, slowly turning your head in Jouno’s direction. The poor man was still twitching from where he sat atop the bed. Goosebumps littered his pale flesh as he crawled his way over to the edge of the bed. “I’m so glad to hear, princess. Come now, what do you say we all shower together, hm? Then we can have your actual dessert.” Jouno stated shakily, still trying to recover from his intense orgasm. “You mean, you actually made me a birthday cake too?!” You excitedly exclaimed, making your way off the bed too with Tecchou following closely behind. As your feet hit the ground, your knees buckled slightly. 

“Woah, easy there angel. Here, let me carry you.” Tecchou quickly scooped you up into his arms as he caught you from falling. He slowly brought his other arm down to hook under your legs. Pulling you up to his chest as he held you bridal style. “Of course, we made you a cake, y/n. You are the birthday girl after all. Don’t you want to make a wish to finish this day on a good note?” Jouno stated as he began walking towards your shared bathroom, with Tecchou and yourself in tow. You smiled up at Tecchou before you spoke up. “I don’t need to make a wish, mine already came true.” Jouno’s chest blossomed with warmth at your words. He knew what you meant, and that made his heart flutter with so much unbridled joy. “Huh? When did you make a wish?” Tecchou deadpanned, looking down at you and tilting his head in confusion. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips.

Ah, even now, he really is oblivious. 

“Suehiro, you fucking idiot.”

“What? Is someone going to explain?”

yay! they fucked! um threesomes are complicated to write, I hope you all enjoyed!

taglist: @coco-goat-milk @madelynwolff @tecchoufr @saharei @lyrstybsd @chalksdreams @itssara-chan @mizu-san @win-writes @daushu @nymphsdomain @celestair

[dujour13]

Owlcatober 20. Honor

Fandom: Wrath of the Righteous

Also on AO3

---

Shelyn, by your grace, let me not punch this man in the mouth.

Sosiel closed his burning eyes.

“Newly arrived and only survivor, eh?”

“I told you ten times. I. Wasn’t. Here.”

“Conveniently.” The Inquisitor didn’t even look at him. Just tapped his plume on the desk between them. Deliberately irritating.

“Listen. I’m not a cultist. I’m here to heal, not—” He couldn’t finish. A dry sob stuck in his chest, his grief igniting into rage. He flexed his hands.

“Would you believe that’s what they all say?” mocked the Inquisitor with a humorless smirk that vanished just as quickly beneath his mustache. “Where were you at the time of the attack?”

“I told you. I was at the City Day festival.”

“Can anyone vouch for you?”

Sosiel slumped deeper into his seat. He was exhausted, emptied out, lost. How much longer would they make him sit here in the Temple atrium while a few yards behind him he could hear the wet slap-swishing of caretakers mopping up bloodstains where his Shelynite brethren had been massacred? He took a breath against the nausea and grief. And anger. “I doubt it. There was one Garundi paladin I talked to—she offered me a beer but we hardly had time to talk before she was called off to tend to that injured man they brought in. I went to help but by that time Terendelev already had things in hand.”

“Seelah, I’ll wager.” said the paladin standing on guard beside the Inquisitor’s chair.

“And then?”

“I told you. When the demons attacked I helped as many of the injured as I could and led a few people back to the Temple. The Prioress told me to ride for Nerosyan. I didn’t want to—but I’m the least experienced healer.” He sighed. “So I was the one who had to go for help.”

“To go for help?” The Inquisitor leaned forward. “Or to lure the Queen into a trap?”

Enough.

Gripping the armrests of his chair white-knuckled Sosiel half-rose and leaned forward as well. Into headbutt range. “I already told you twice and you have the Queen’s clerk’s testimony. What more do you want?”

At that the paladin laid a calming hand on his shoulder. “I know Seelah. I’ll follow up with her. Everything else he says has been corroborated, Inquisitor.”

The Inquisitor narrowed his steely eyes at Sosiel, rapped his paperwork on the rosewood table and stood, the loud scraping of his chair like a threat. “Fine. I have enough on my hands already.”

Sosiel rubbed his face. He wanted to yell that he had enough on his hands too—burial arrangements, letters to families, reports to the High Temple in Nerosyan. Had the constant pressure of the Abyss squeezed every last drop of mercy from these people?

Perhaps not. When the Inquisitor had gone the paladin offered him a gauntleted hand up. “You handled that honorably. Let’s go.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Crusade camp. We’ll find Seelah and get this sorted,” she said kindly.

“Crusade?”

“That’s right. The Queen’s declared the Fifth Crusade.”

Now that was the best news he’d heard since the liberation of the Gray Garrison. Sosiel gathered his cloak and rose wearily, but with a new spark of hope. A Crusade was something he could get behind, and even better, something Trever could get behind. A chance to honor Shelyn by wiping the ugly stain of the Abyss off the face of Avistan.

(Not, he reminded himself, by wiping the smirk off the Inquisitor’s face. No. By the Eternal Rose’s grace he was past that now.)

The more he thought about it the surer he felt that it was only a matter of time before his brother showed up to pledge his sword to the Fifth Crusade, and then it would be the two of them—the Vaenic brothers—against the Abyss, and O the Abyss shall tremble!

As she walked at his side the paladin’s armor clinked. Sosiel closed his eyes a moment, and in his mind it was Trever, walking with him on the way to join the Fifth Crusade, sun glancing off their twin breastplates as if through a prism, casting rainbows across the smoke and ruin of Kenabres. The paladin and the priest, here to honor the sacrifice of Shelyn’s fallen by bringing beauty and kindness to the desolation of the Worldwound.

Their joyous reunion was close, he just knew it.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Hey so... I know this may sound weird... but could I request the BAU team learning that one of their younger teammembers (Reader) is struggling with severe depression? Like maybe one night Reader stays behind at the office to "work on papers" but instead he uses the time alone to sulk and cry to himself because he's too emotionally exhausted to even stand up and go home. Maybe Derek or Hotch go back to the office because he forgot something and find Reader just... crying and screaming (cause I wanna scream when I'm extremely hurt)

I understand if you're not comfortable with this type of request. No need to feel obligated to do this

I don't mind doing these sorts of requests at all, I find it comforting and therapeutic aha. Feel free to send me as many of these as you like. Also Aaron and reader are not in a romantic relationship in the fic, just platonic or familial aha

Warnings: depression, maybe self harm(?) - reader punches something multiple times, also this might be cringe idk, oh talks of medication and antidepressants

Word count: 990

The case was tough, all cases were tough - you worked for the BAU, of course all the cases were tough. But, surprisingly, this wasn't exactly what was bothering you. You couldn't actually pinpoint what it was, but there was a heavy feeling on your chest for the last few days, growing slowly. Expanding. Getting heavier. You had grown used to the lump in the back of your throat, but now you were struggling. The tears were ready to fall, already burning at the back of your eyes, begging to be let free after being held back for three days.

"What's your plans for the night?" Morgan turns to you, wiggling his eyebrows.

You force a smile and a laugh, unsure if it actually reaches your eyes. "Not much. I need to stay here, finish this report. I'm far too behind and I don't want Hotch on my ass,"

This wasn't actually the truth. You were slightly behind, yes. But that wasn't why you were staying behind. You felt too exhausted to move, a different exhausted to being physically tired. You were mentally tired, everything took so much effort all you wanted to do was curl into a ball and watch the world pass by. You wanted to lay in bed and sleep, to do nothing.

Morgan nods in understanding, he knew what it was like to behind on paperwork. "Been there, done that, Kid," He chuckles. "Good luck."

"Don't stay too late," JJ says, "And don't forget to get something to eat." You smile, this time it's not fake. You were only a year younger than Spencer, but apparently it caused the rest of the team to see you as the baby of the team.

"I won't," You reply, "Now, shoo, go home!" You just wanted to be on your own. You couldn't deal with socialising right now, the idea of it too exhausting.

And the team, one by one, leave the bullpen. JJ to her family, Emily to her cat, Garcia, Rossi, Morgan, Reid. And then you're alone. It takes a moment to register this. Alone, free to finally let it out.

You sigh, letting your head fall to the desk with a soft thud. Everyone was gone, it was just you. The emotions flooded back to the surface and before you know it, the tears are rolling and you are trying to stiffle your sobs. Hiccups echo loudly through the bullpen and you can't help but be relieved it's just you.

"Come on, (Y/N)," You growl to yourself, "Get a fucking grip."

You feel your emotions double, and you don't know what to do with yourself. You roughly swipe the tears away from your cheeks as you sniff. Your emotions in your throat, desperate to escape.

You're not sure what you're doing until your fist hits the desk and an ache spreads through your knuckles. But it distracts you. So you do it again. And again.

A noise escapes the back of your throat, filled with pain and anguish. Yet the source of this anguish is still unknown. You still don't know what exactly it was that caused this. But the sound helps. You cut yourself off with a sob, covering your face with your now bruised hands.

"(Y/N)?" Hotch. Fuck. "Are you alright?"

You drag your hands over your face and you straighten yourself in your chair. "Of course," You lie with ease, "I'm fine,"

You hear Hotch sigh deeply behind you. You watch out of the corner of your eyes as Hotch grabs a chair from the desk next to you, pushing it so it's closer and sits on it.

"I get it if you don't want to talk to me, but I'm here if you need to. I can just keep you company if you'd like." He says, a minute of silence passes between the two of you before he starts talking again. "Jack's at a friend's house for the night, it's his first sleepover and he was so excited this morning he could barely sit still long enough to eat his breakfast."

You don't reply, choosing to focus on a spot directly in front of you, trying to force your feelings and tears to subside.

"He's tried to sleepover a friend's house before, by the time it was nine, I had to go and pick him up. He said he was scared of the shadow the coats made," Hotch said, you can't help but smile softly. Seeing this, Hotch continues, "He ran into my arms when I got there. But he was adamant this morning that he would be able to do it, he said he was nearly fully grown,"

"Must make you wonder where the time went," You find yourself saying, Hotch turns to you, a small smile painting his lips as he nods.

"Yeah, it really does," There's another pause.

"I don't know," You say, "I don't know what's wrong. But everything's... difficult. I- My medications weren't working, they're transferring me to a different kind but it can take a few weeks to work. Apparently this is what I'm like with low doses of medication,"

"Our bodies take time to adjust." Hotch said with a small shrug, "When they switched me from Prozac, it took me a few weeks to feel relatively normal."

You gape at him. Did he just casually tell you that he was also on antidepressants?

"You're looking at me like I've grown another head," Aaron said.

"Sorry," You reply sheepishly. "I just wasn't expecting you to be on antidepressants,"

Aaron gives you a look of understanding, "That's okay," He said, "Come on. Let's go back to mine, we can put on a show and just eat ice cream, I don't want you to be alone right now,"

You pause, pondering for a moment before nodding, grabbing your bag as you both stood up. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that Hotch was here after all.

[fancyfeathers]

you talk about how speechless william's darling is all the time, but what would happen if she actually snaps one day? like, actually not backing down and having a voice? also i love moran's darling

(Combining these two asks because I got an idea for it @istgtumlrifyoudothisonemoretime )

The Games We Play of Dust and Ash (Yandere Moriarty the Patriot Masterlist)

I imagine it would happen after her second meeting with Sherlock’s darling, an intelligent and self made woman who doesn’t feel intimidated by others around her. Honestly for a while she lays in bed wondering what the hell was wrong with her, she has let people walk all over her for her entire life, she felt pathetic.

Then eventually Moran’s darling came around and she was something else as well and of course it turned out she was a friend, an information broker, to Sherlock’s darling, the reporter. She was never scared of her situation, hell she even clawed at Sebastian one time, almost got his eye to.

Meanwhile she is scared to ask William is she can sit in the garden.

Then eventually she gets a letter from Sherlock’s darling, asking her if she would like to meet her at a park in a few days. Luckily she was the first to read it because it was hidden in the stack of other mail for the brothers and residents of the estate. She hid the letter between the mattress and the bed frame just in case and for the entire day she is just trying to build up the confidence to ask William when he gets home.

And then after dinner when William is working in his study, she comes in and…

“W-William, I was w-wondering if I could go out to the park later this week to meet with a friend of mine?”

“A friend? Which one?”

Though unintentional, that felt like a slight stab since she had no friends who were still alive anyway, and the thing is William didn’t even kill them.

“Um… the reporter-“

“Absolutely not, now if there is anything else you need-“

“Why not?”

The silence that filled the room after she asked that was louder than anything, she had never questioned William like that before, normally taking no for an answer.

“You should get ready for bed it’s-“

“Would you stop talking to me like I am a child and just tell me why?”

God she never realized how much she hated that look in her eyes, the way they would narrow at her whenever she said something he did not like, like he always knew better than her.

“Dear we can have this conversation in the morning, you are tired and need sleep and I have work to finish-“

“Would you shut just up and answer the question?!”

She yelled at him…

She just yelled at William.

William would never hurt her, he is able to regulate his temper unlike Albert and Louis on occasion, god she remembers the crying from Albert’s darling when he accidentally broke her wrist.

She watched as William stood up from his desk and walked over to her, towering over her as he ever so gently took her hands in his own and he lifted them up to his lips, kissing her hands where they met in his hold.

“Everything I do is for you, and she is trying to stop my goal. I am attempting to create a better world so you will not have to go back to the one you lived in the one where you were turned away by everyone-“

“William.”

“Your mother-“

“Liam.”

“Your friends-”

“Please.”

“I will never abandon you like they have. I was there when your friend died, I held you when you cried, when you had nightmares about what happened and woke up screaming and crying in the night I was the one who was there. I was there because I love and adore you more than anyone else in this god forsaken world and I am not going to let anyone change that… oh dearest, you are crying, come here.”

She felt him embrace her as she just realizes she was behind to cry, a sob ripping from her throat as he holds her.

“…I am sorry, Liam.”

“I know, dear.”

William never has to worry about her falling too far out of line because he knows the exact thing to bring her back to her senses.

She needs him, he has always been there…

Besides she does not have the heart that the others have to truly push back against him…

But Moran’s darling was growing to be some what of a bad influence on her, Louis’ darling as well…

Maybe he should speak to them about that.

[deviant-doughnut]

Augusnippets Day 16

Chosen Prompt: Humiliation

CW: blood, multiple whumpers, discussion of alcohol and drinking, threats of non-con, blackmail, non-con as revenge, non-consensual filming, fade to black non-con

“Look at us, Ian,” comes the voice from above him.

The glass beneath Ian’s knees is broken, ragged shards slicing into his skin. Like the dread roiling through him they chew to the bone, the pain of it cacophonous and vulnerable. His face is hot and his heart pounds badly. He works to catch his stuttering breath. Two of his colleagues pace slowly around him, glass crunching under their boots. The storeroom reeks of blood and alcohol. He lost count of the bottles they dropped nonchalantly before they forced him down into the glass. The spilled liquor burns at the gashes in his knees. It soaks into the legs of his jeans.

The crunching glass is the only sound here, the rest of the world swallowed whole. It’s locked away on the other side of the storeroom, no cameras in here to protect him. The three of them just finished a shift together, stilted with tension and glares thrown at Ian. He reported them last week for sharing stock after hours, for drinking themselves to stupidity on an antique bottle they wrote off as broken. The owner took them into separate meetings and then left them to close up beside him. Now the bar is empty and dark, unassuming to those passing by. But in the depths of the building, the air in the stockroom is thick with his terror, his colleagues both grinning down at him. Grayson snatched Ian’s phone in their skirmish, and now angles it towards his face, snapping an endless stream of pictures. Vic steps forward as Ian’s eyes flick up. He unbuckles the clasp of his belt.

“Are you sorry?” He asks.

“Yes,” Ian answers, dread thundering through him. His attackers exchange glances and burst into laughter.

“Fucking liar,” says Grayson, changing the angle of the phone. Vic snorts above him. “You ratted us out and you loved it.”

“Since you’re so good at opening your mouth,” says Vic, easing his zipper down slowly, “I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love this as well.”

“Oh god,” Ian whispers. “Please, Vic. Please don’t make me—“

“Put your overactive mouth to use,” says Vic, “and we’ll consider the whole thing forgotten.”

“Fight us,” Grayson counters, “and we’ll fuck you open with one of the bottles and make sure that it lasts all night.”

A sob tears ragged out of Ian. It’s a stark and terrible sound. His terror swells too large for his body, his eyes welling abruptly with tears. The sight of his captors blurs above him, but they’re smirking, and they’re watching, and they’re hard. Vic pauses with his thumbs in his boxers. Grayson taps Ian’s phone screen relentlessly.

“What are you choosing, honey?” Asks Vic. Ian’s stomach lurches at the pet name, honeyed with sarcasm, thinly veiled cruelty. His attackers chuckle as Ian’s tears start to fall.

“I’ll do it,” he tells them, fear and rage swirling together in the pit of his stomach. “I-I…I won’t fight you. Just do it and get it over with.”

“He’s begging already,” says Vic. He frees himself from his patterned boxers. Ian tries not to react, but Vic’s cock is thick and red, leaking from his slit already. Ian feels his eyes widen suddenly, then forces them quickly shut. “Open your mouth, slut. Show us how sorry you are.”

Tears spill hotly from Ian’s eyes. A familiar ding sounds from his phone and his stomach lurches at the knowledge it supplies him. Grayson is no longer snapping an endless stream of photos. He’s filming him. He smirks cruelly down at the screen as Vic strokes himself lazily, and aims his leaking cock at Ian’s lips. It’s hopeless, Ian thinks. The only thing he can do now is comply, get out of here, survive. He’s hurt and outnumbered. There’s only one way to escape.

Ian draws a trembling breath, tries to forget about the immortalising stare of the camera, and slowly parts his lips.

-

Thanks to @augusnippets for this event!

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

https://at.tumblr.com/moonlight-sonata-1/704449169832771584/pcgnmqd2758k

THIS IS AMZING AND I LOVE YOU!! if it isn't to much h trouble could you write something similar but instead of his s/o talking to him about everything, they wish him good luck, and when he leaves they dip on him and leave a heart felt goodbye note explaining why they left?? would he be sad they left :(

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉

I LOVE YOU TOO!! It's never too much trouble when it comes to my sweet maniac ♥️ I hope you like it anon! Also, here's the link to the og post.

I gotta say, this is filled with angst. Like, it's an alternative ending and I made sure I wrote it as sad as possible lol. I'm in an angsty mood lately.

If you wish to support/commission me please visit my ko-fi page, thank you!

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉

"What?" he asked in a bored tone.

"Nothing. I just wanted to say good luck." she tried to say in a forcedly joyful tone.

"Oh, thank you, dear," he said as he walked out the door, not being aware of the fact that something was bothering her terribly.

She’s been like this for a few weeks now, and it was because of how their relationship evolved. He was a presumably dead man, which was theoretically safe for now, but once the world will find out he is alive it will be harder to live near him. She loved him, she really did, but she wasn’t sure Wesker shared the same feeling for her, so the question that remains is: is it worth the trouble? He only sees her as a roommate. He barely notices her around. He isn’t as affectionate as he used to be, and they aren’t very active in bed either.

Once Wesker shut down the door she could feel her heart drop.

“I don’t know what I expected.” She thought as she headed to the bedroom. “She didn’t notice me in the past months, why would he notice something was wrong now.” She added with a nervous chuckle as she pulled out the suitcase out of the closet, which contained most of her stuff.

“It was obvious I’ll end up here.” Her voice was trembling at this point. “I don’t know why I followed him after the mansion incident.” She nervously tossed more clothes and some money inside. “Stupid, stupid, stupid….” Some warm tears ran down her cheeks as she kept packing her stuff, but she tried to keep it together so she can finish in time.

More things followed, such as reports, documents, guns and ammo. Her hands were trembling the whole time but she didn't stop. She couldn’t stop, because if she did, she might've stopped for good and remain with Wesker. She couldn't allow herself to be distracted by her thoughts, as they were working against her. All the happy memories they lived together crossed her mind many many times, making it difficult to maintain focus. These happy thoughts lead to doubt, and is she wouldnt be careful, they would lead to surrender. She needed restraint.

"I should've walked away..." she said as she closed her suitcase. Seeing that made her realize that it was actually over, so overwhelmed by all of this she covered her face and let go of all of the tears she tried to held. She sobbed quietly in the empty room.

Wesker returned a few days later, expecting to find her, but instead he found an empty apartment. The realization hit him quickly, which made him run like a madman around the house, hoping it was just in his head. To his despair, it wasn't, and he knew for sure that she left when he found most of her stuff gone.

Exhausted and depressed, he collapsed on the sofa with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He tried to call her many times, but every time he would get the voicemail.

"Why'd she leave? Didn't I provide enough? A shelter, money, a way to start it all over?"

Anger began to consume him as he kept trying to find a reason. He thought he did everything right for her, especially since he somehow turned her life upside down. He was aware of the risk she took by joining him, thus making him feel a little guilty. Ever since the mansion incident, he worked hard to provide for them both. There were moments when he'd be gone for days, and moments when he'd barely acknowledge her existence. However, he didn't consider those to be reasons for leaving.

He stood up and began to walk around the kitchen. In his fatigue and distress, he overlooked the note she left on the table. He sat down and began to examine the paper. First, he noticed the writing was a bit off, as she probably wrote it in a hurry. The paper also had some bumps on it, as it had recently dried. Some tears must have been shed while writing it.

On the note, she explained very specifically why she left and how hard it was for her to make the decision.

"I will love you always. May our paths cross again if we're destined to be together."

He closed his eyes and let out a deep exhale as he tossed the note aside. His fingers began to massage his eyes as he hunched over the table. It was too much to take in: first, he had one helluva fight with Alexia and Chris, and now he finds out that his sweetheart left him.

He doesn’t know how to react. He doesn't know how to manage the intense feelings of sorrow and anger. It's too much.

Just as the note, he overlooked her feelings and trauma, and now all that remains is an empty room.

Taglist: @shadow-wolf510 @cassie-todd @ravenrune

[bleekay]

finished rereading. couple of thoughts:

since it's the freshest in my mind, i have to say the ending of rwrb remains absolutely devastatingly cathartic, this alternate reality where the events of 2016 and beyond in this world didn't happen. i remember my first time reading it, like actually sobbing because the trump election still felt so fresh and painful and raw, and that final scene where they flip texas, my home state, really really hit home.

which is another bullet point on my long list of grievances with the film. that scene was just. not nearly on the emotional level as the book. it was supposed to be this like. grand build-up. and instead it fell flat for me. it was too short, too condensed.

which, frankly, i think that's essentially what i disliked about the film overall. it was way, way too condensed. and look, i get it, you're crunching down a 418 page book into 2 hours, they have to cut stuff out. but they cut out. everything. they took the handful of scenes with henry and alex and cut everything else out like it was all just superfluous to their romance. JUNE. june was gone!!! alex's sister who looked out for him and who knew him better than he knew himself, who had such a huge role in the book, was nixed from existence. i can't fathom why. nora and pez and bea were there, but barely. there was no "white house trio" or "super six" or very much at all of alex's or henry's friendships outside of each other?

rafael luna, someone alex looked up to immensely, the blueprint of the man alex wanted to be, a senator who was like him, a queer latino in politics for the genuine desire to do good, whose seeming betrayal cut alex to the core, but through whom the corruption of richards was revealed? he also was nonexistent in the film. instead of that entire arc, richards' scheme to publicly forcibly out alex and henry's relationship, luna's role in helping bring that all to light, was replaced by....... some reporter guy that alex hooked up with once, who it is implied is the villain behind outing alex and henry. with no, like, explanation whatsoever. jealousy, i guess. gay guy jealous, outs guy he liked because he didn't hook up with him again? because he's a skeevy reporter who doesn't care? what the hell kind of story is that. queer on queer violence easier to put in film, i guess, than the story of corrupt republican candidate (also sexual predator) who wants to crush democratic encumbent president so has his team hack private email server and then leaks all the alex-henry emails to the public and pays people to get hotel footage and take photos to back it up. i literally just. can't understand this change whatsoever. it feels gross. tbh.

the whole plot is just so off. it doesn't even feel like the same story in a lot of ways? the ending of the movie is actually, legitimately nonsensical. they're publicly outed and alex i guess decides of his own accord to like. make a public speech confirming their relationship? this is while he and henry haven't been able to talk, communication lockdown, no conversations with henry whatsoever to even ask if he'd be okay with confirming their relationship like that. (book alex would ne-ver go public without explicit consent and support from henry) and then afterward the king is like "oh well technology these days, they can fake photos and emails" my dude the first son already announced it live on tv. there's no choice to be made there. you can't say "it was all faked" when alex claremont-diaz already told the world it was not fake. lmfao.

there is one thing -- JUST ONE THING -- that i appreciate about the film. and that is leaving out all the h*rry p*tter references. (to be fair, the book was written before the infamous transphobic twitter spiral, and also casey mcquiston, the author, has since actually removed the hp/jkr references in her book. which. bless. i didn't actually know that until i looked it up right now. i ought to buy a newer version.)

anyway. the book is really, really good. it offered me great escapism the first time i read it. it offers me comfort now rereading it. the movie........... was not it. there were certainly pretty men kissing and boning in it so if that's what you're looking for it's fine. (although i hold that alex's actor does not look like alex to me, which was actually one of the reasons i didn't initially want to watch, on a petty note) but as far as the meat of the story, the heart of it, the depth of it, it just wasn't there.

but it did get me to reread the book, so at least there's that.

[ejzah]

One Wrong Move, Part 5

***

Kensi stumbled down a long, empty hallway, barely seeing the clean gray tiles beneath her feet. As more medical personnel entered Deeks’ room, along with a variety of medical paraphernalia, Dr. Morita had requested that Kensi return to main part of the floor, away from the infectious disease wing.

Despite Dr. Morita’s insistence that it was mostly cautionary. The more quickly they treated any possible symptoms, the better the outcome. It did nothing to reassure Kensi.

More than anything, she hated to leave Deeks alone. He’d tried to cover his fear, and everyone else likely bought it, but she’d seen it in the fine trembling of his hands and his widened eyes. As she’d walked through the sliding doors, she’d looked over her shoulder, and saw his spine slump and anguish in his eyes.

Taking a few calming breaths, Kensi found a bench near the end of the hall and say, sliding her phone from her pocket—she’d had to retrieve it from the nursing staff since personal outside belongings weren’t allowed in a quarantined room. She needed something to concentrate on, even if for a moment.

There were a series of texts from Nell, each one more concerned than the last, which Kensi wasn’t in the mind frame to think about just yet. She sent off a vague update, then turned to Sam and Callen’s messages. Theirs were to the point, requesting more information for the cases reports. She responded to each, focusing on the familiar, procedural task.

When she was finished, she went back to her unread messages, scrolling down until she found an unread message. She inhaled reflexively, realizing it was from Deeks. Her thumb hovered over it for a full five seconds before she pressed it, and rubbed her suddenly clammy hand on her jeans.

“Hey, missed you this morning.”

It was a simple message, one that he could have sent any day. Except today, she’d purposely avoided Deeks, too wrapped up in her own concerns. And now she might never spend another morning running with him. Or lazing in bed. She might never get to touch him again.

“Oh god,” she gasped. Her phone clattered to the side as she drew her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her knees. Kensi sobbed quietly, almost silently, her shoulders heaving with the force of the tremors.

“Kensi?” A large, familiar hand settled on her back briefly, and she sat up to find Sam standing over her.

“Sam, what are you doing here?” She hastily uncurled, swiping the hem of her sleeve over her face, like it could hide her puffy eyes and tear-reddened cheeks.

“I thought you could use some company,” he said, eyes roving over her.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that. You guys have to be swamped without us there,” Kensi told him, even as something that approached relief spread through her. As much as she didn’t want anyone to see her lose control, waiting all alone was awful.

“Nah, Callen and Nell took charge. They have it covered. So you’re stuck with me.” Sam offered her a half-smile, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze.

Kensi held out for another second before she she caved. “Ok,” she whispered. She scooted over, making room for him, and once again tucked her legs up by her chest.

“So, how’s Deeks doing?” Sam asked. “I know you told Nell that he’s fine, but I know you’re leaving things out. Otherwise you’d probably be wherever he is.” Shaking his head, he muttered something that sounded like “inseparable”.

Kensi fiddled with her nails, staring down at her knees instead of meeting Sam’s stead gaze. “He has a fever and feels kind of nauseous, so his doctor decided it was time to monitor all his vitals. Maybe up his treatment. You know, just to be safe and it might be a reaction to the medications, but, uh,” she broke off, wiping at her eyes again. “I’m really worried.”

Sam wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tugging her into his chest. He felt solid and sturdy when Kensi felt like she might crumble into pieces.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok. I know it’s scary, but Deeks is a fighter. He doesn’t know how to give up.” He gave her an extra squeeze. “And he knows if he even thinks about it, we’ll all be there to smack that notion out of his head.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Her words were muffled against his shirt, but Sam see,Ed to get the message.

“We got your back.”

They sat like that for several more minutes until Kensi felt a little less like the smallest thing would set her off on another bout of crying.

“Have you eaten anything all day?” he asked, giving Kensi a disapproving look when she shrugged.

“It’s been crazy and I’m honestly not hungry at all.”

“Uh-huh. Passing out isn’t going to do anybody good. I’ll be right back.”

Sam headed off down the hall, once again leaving Kensi in the mostly empty hall. She counted tiles to block out the intrusive worries until he came maybe five minutes later with a cup of coffee, a small sandwich, and a packet of Oreos.

She laughed softly when he handed her those first. “Deeks would have my butt if I didn’t keep you properly sugared up,” he explained, chuckling himself.

Kensi popped a cookie in her mouth, washing it down with mediocre coffee. Surprisingly, she found that she was hungry and had eaten half of the sandwich in a few bites.

She was about to eat the last cookie, a voice crackled over the ceiling speaker.

“Dr. Morita to room 126, stat!”

“That’s Deeks’ room,” she whispered, the rest of her sandwich dropping from her numb fingers.

[ask-carmenpondiego]

Chapter 2: Wasn’t this place on an episode of Ghost Hunters?

“Asylum..? This isnt the prison they reported me to-“ Carmen was yanked off the bus, wrenching her shoulder. Ignoring the pain, she looked around as they approached the run-down facility, her anxiety soaring. “Wait.. this isnt right! Let me go!” She was held tight by two large guards and passed off to the check-in where she was strapped and cuffed to a wheelchair. “Don’t struggle. No one thinks they should be here but lucky you, your name is on the correct list, right here. Looks like you were referred to Dr Ravidel Soltek. Take her to her room.” The head nurse barked at the workers, who wheeled her off to a very small room, barely enough space for the single twin mattress. Before dumping her unceremoniously into her new residence, they injected a needle into her neck, administering something that made her extremely drowsy. She quickly lost track of days and weeks, her room had no clocks, nor windows and the only time she saw the sky was during group meal times in the main mess hall.

There was a particular doctor that held special interest in Carmen, a large black and white Spanish draft horse anthro. He personally tended to all her check ins and administered multiple different drugs into her system, even went as far as feeding her himself. In her drugged state, she could only assume this was the Dr Ravidel Soltek she was told about, and that he was experimenting on her due to how many notes he took right after he drugs and feeds her. Soon she noticed he only gave her one specific drug at night when no other guards or nurses were around. The other daytime drugs were to keep her groggy and compliant. She remembered the night drug well, a glowing blue drug in a vial loaded into an injection gun. As soon as she sees the glow, she knows the night will be hell.

The doctor locks the door behind him and injects the serum into her leg, her arms chained up against the wall. The overly euphoric sensation washed over her, leaving her writhing in bliss and lust. He unlocks her wrists and pins her face down on the padded floor, his hard cock grinding against her bare slit. When he was finished, he left her brutally used and crying, locking her wrists back up. This has become the routine for many months, and no one but Carmen ever questioned it. Soon she found that she was so miserable, she yearned and ached for the blue glow. It was the only time the torment seemed to fade. She was all alone and had been successfully addicted to the drug called Zydrate.

One night after the doctor had his fill and had left for the night, Carmen ran her fingers through her hair, finding a hair pin she had found on the ground that very afternoon. She picked her wristlocks with expert precision and worked on the door’s lock. She was thankful it was almost like an old barred door, to keep everything visible. The facilities did need quite the upgrade. With the blue drug still in her system, she was amazed on how functional she still was, though every movement made her want to cry out in unwanted pleasure. She slipped out in just her medical johnny, and started looking around. She discovered the asylum was drastically away from anywhere she knew of, a literal in the middle of nowhere situation. It really was a place for people to be left for the sole purpose of being forgotten. She sat on the floor of the hallway after discovering this. She had no way to get back, and all of her life stripped from her. She sobbed quietly for what seemed like hours before getting up. Wiping her tears, she made a decision. She went searching for the stairs. She needed to be on the roof, it was a clear sky from what the windows had shown. She climbed the stairs, eventually opening the roof hatch. The wind whipped around, her hair and johnny flowing with it. She looks at the sky as she approached the edge. More tears started to fall as she recognized the stars but confirmed on how far away she was and how alone she felt. “I’m sorry my babies.. I dont think Mommy is ever coming back home..”

“Well thats a damn shame, after you promised them and everything. You go an fuckin give up after finally letting yerself escape. Man, I sure had you pegged different. Shame. I woulda loved to see you give Dr whatshisface what he deserves. But nah, you go do your suicide thing.” A low Austrailian accent piped up from behind her, a scent of cigarettes stung her nose. Carmen turns and within the shadows she sees a stallion of deep blue, almost black, fur and mop of bright orange ginger hair and tail, the tail itself looking like an olde unicorn or lion tail. He was dressed in a leather jacket and pants, torn and scruffed, his body underneath adorned in bandages, one band-aid plaster going across his muzzle. His eyes glowed an eerie toxic green from afar. He flicked his burnt cigarette away and stood from his leaning spot by the chimney. As he got closer, she saw that he towered over her by at least a foot, he was covered in cuts and bruises, and his eyes were segmented like an insect, the outer colors were blue while the center was more green, the colors moved as he looked her up and down, as if the green colors were the iris and blue the scelera. She also noticed dark green and teal insect wings on his back and what looked like dark shadowy tentacles protruding from between his wings.

“Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The devil who wants my soul in exchange for some listless favor?” She frowns, stepping down from the ledge. He cackled, “The devil has nothing on me, since I do his dirty work so he keeps his hands clean. Besides, I dont want yer soul. I want something else. And you are the one I choose to give it to me whether you like it or not.” He leaned close with a growl, grabbing her arm. She laughed, “I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m not looking to be hired by the devil’s scapegoat. I dont have anything to offer, now let go!” She wrenched her arm from his clawed grasp, stepping back and tripping over the ledge. With a yelp, she plummeted off the roof.

The stallion spat a curse and dove off after her, catching her and with his wings spread, he landed her safely to the ground. “Dont you FUCKIN do that again, ya cunt! I will let you fuckin fall and I will laugh at your splattermark on the pavement!”

“Well, maybe don’t go grabbing me when I’m that close to a ledge! You asshole!” She yelled, and winced, grabbing her arm where his claws scratched her. He snorted and growled, “You know what? Have it your way, I dont give a flying rats ass about you. Have fun having to spend your life wasting away in this pisspan. Don’t come crying back to me to save ya.” With that, he slipped into the shadows, and was gone. Carmen ran her fingers through her reddish brown hair, looking around and looking up. She glanced down the road and back to the building, weighing her options. She started off down the road not looking back.

A sharp sting hit her neck, she clapped a hand over it and yanked out a dart. She stumbled slightly as she looked at the dart with confusion before dropping to the ground unconscious, guards surrounding her and hauling her back to the asylum.

“My, my, little princesa. You had me worried there for a moment there. I was beginning to wonder if they had sent me the wrong mare.” Carmen blinked awake, lights bearing down on her, she squinted as she looked around, finally finding Dr Soltek in the corner, preparing some instruments. She groaned and tried to move, only to be painfully aware that she was strapped down on a table, and a gag-muzzle over her mouth. Ravidel came over with a cottonball in a pair of forceps and dunked it into a bottle of liquid, pulling it out and swapping her horn with it. She had always had a hyper-sensitivity to her horn and she tried moving her head away. His strong hand grabbed her jaw and held her still with a steel grip. The swab mildly making her mind itch. “Ah, ah, not so fast, pequeña ladrona. You still need your treatment for running off and getting your arm hurt..” he slipped a few different sized metal rings attached to wires onto her horn and two circular moistened pads to her temples. “Now this will hurt you more than it does me..” Carmen blinked, thinking he said it wrong, until he pressed a button on a device, sending excruciatingly painful volts of electricity through the pads and rings. She let out muffled screams and writhed in her restraints as she was electrocuted for a few long seconds. “Now this is not nearly enough to kill you. But hopefully you will learn your lesson to obey my orders. Maybe if you are good, I’ll give an extra dose of zydrate later.” She pants and tries to scream out obscenities at him but the gag muzzle prevented her from articulating any identifiable words. He pressed the button again, sending her into waves of pain once again, screaming and spasming. He turns it off after a few cycles and pulls the wired equipment off of her head, she pants hard as she barely keeps conscious.

There a slight commotion at the room’s entrance, a familiar voice came into the fray, “Hey, Doc, I have a package for ya to sign for.” The nurses could be heard behind him, “So sorry, he wouldnt wait at the lobby.. he just barged right in!” The stranger cackled, “Fuckin right, ya bitch. Now I’m gonna give you a tip for terrible service and I need to pick up my package there.” There were abrupt screams of terror and a squelching wetness of something being torn apart and splattered, Carmen could barely see from the state she was in, “who?… whats going on?…” she murmured in the gag-muzzle as the only thing she could see were shadows on the walls and ceiling due to a fire that broke out. Were those tentacles?

All the screaming came to a stop and she smelled his cigarettes, the figure releasing her wrists and ankles from the restraints, removing the gag-muzzle from her face. “Its you.. you came back?” He huffed and hoisted her up off the table fairly easily. She groaned and held her stomach, “I dont feel good.. something is wrong..” He looks down at her and notices a whole lot of blood spilling from her lower half. “Yer ok, hold on, let me see whats going on.” He wiped his clawed finger against her blood soaked leg and put it to his mouth, licking his lips. His eyes went wide with surprise then switched to rage. “Well, depending on how you look at it, you are either going to be really sad or really happy. I’m thinking you’d be happy but I still need to get you to a healer OUTSIDE of this place.” The fire raged more behind them as he held her fully and used his shadowstep to go from one room to the outside in a single step. The cool air brushed her cheeks, “uungh.. what happened, why does it hurt?” She murmured, clutching to his jacket. “You just had a miscarriage. You were pregnant and I think I know whose kid it was.” He growled. “Ravidel.. that bastard…” she groaned as she slipped into unconsciousness.

[zyuyea]

I woke up at six something am after only 3 hours of sleep and decided to just check for her again, I didn’t expect anything, I just thought I’d check just in case and then I’ll go shower. But then I heard her little cries outside the front door, I wasn’t even sure I heard correctly as I hesitated opening the front door, but she came inside and squeaked at me with a horse voice and I just, started trembling and I grabbed her and held her and sobbed, taking her up to our apartment, started hyperventilating as I got in and I just, walked into my roommate who had woken up by me barging into the apartment and hyperventilating, and I just showed her the cat as I bawled my eyes out. I put her down and she started eating some leftover kibbles the other cat hadn’t bothered finishing and I made food for her, just still trembling like hell.

Took some terrible pictures of her as she ate, shaky hands and all.

Right now she just flopped in front of me, I’m sitting in bed, typing on my phone.

She’s a bit skittish, but I think she’ll calm down in a few days or sooner.

I’m just so happy, and tired and… Actually I have to go take down those posters and stuff and report her found, but I’ll do that when I wake up a bit later. I’m gonna cuddle with her until I fall asleep.

[cilly-the-writer]

SHADOWS OF SORCERY | Part 22 | “Shadow of Darkness” | 1,285 words  

Note: The final part! 

     Maybe Elora’s fears had been unfounded. 

     The Power Authority did not press very much about what happened. The investigation was quickly wrapped up, given that James Hemlock had confessed to everything and given that his abundance of magic cores further proved his guilt. A report was written up and Elora’s parents were to be released first thing in the morning. 

     They were brought to the school and as soon as their figures appeared through the path in the forest, Elora ran to them and her firelights tagged along right behind her. Beaming bright in the sunrise’s fiery glow.

     “Oh my—.” her mother got out just before Elora and her firelights bounded straight into them.

     “I knew you didn’t poison me!” Elora sobbed into her mother’s shoulder as they embraced her right back. She sank right into their warmth. It was like she was feeling all her “missing” at once—she felt all those days without them crashing together at the bottom of her throat. It was so pent up in her chest that she refused to let go for several more minutes.

     It took a lot of coaxing to get her to let go and believe they would not leave her.

     Imogene waited in the distance to catch up with them at the appropriate time. As soon as Elora had cried it all out and explained a few pieces of the story (she couldn’t tell them everything right now anyway), they all went to sit down around the school patio furniture outside the school’s residential building.

     Imogene conjured plates of food and they all ate and talked.

     It was the most wonderful morning that Elora had had in a long time. But after a long while, as they approached the afternoon, her parents insisted that she not miss her studies. They told her that they would not be going anywhere. They would come back to visit in the evening after they took a look around the house and made arrangements to settle back into society.

     Elora reluctantly let them go.

     She found it hard to study though. She flicked her pen around between her thumb and index finger, stopping to reread the passages where she kept getting distracted. She was too happy about her parents’ return to think about anything else.

     Until a knock came at the door.

     She went to open it and she found Charlotte standing there with a smile and a small red gift box in her hand.

     “I know you don’t really need it anymore—,” Charlotte said, “—but my father was able to get one and he said it was yours if you still wanted it.”

     She opened the box and a plant core glowed at the center. Vibrant like a marble with strokes of green leaves and petals of deep purple. Just like the Luminess core pictured in Imogene’s plant study books. 

     It was floating in a smaller box of purple light.

“He put it in a magic seal so you don’t actually have to claim it. I know—well, you know…”

     She was alluding to the poison core, suggesting that she wouldn’t be offended if Elora was skeptical. Elora held her breath and picked it up. If it was really a Luminess core… then she could feel its ambient magic.

     Her fingers cooled at its touch and the tension in her shoulders from (trying) to study faded with its magic. It was like a breath of fresh air. It was the real deal—a real Luminess core. Elora smiled and thanked Charlotte with a big hug.

     After they let go, Charlotte’s voice cracked as she went to speak again.

“There’s something else I wanted to tell you, Elora. I just—.” Charlotte moved to step inside her room and close the door. She cleared her throat to say it without sounding like she was going to cry. “I know… I know you’ve been hiding something. My father thinks he knows what it is, based on a report about some kid who was playing at one of the regional playgrounds… and I just want you to know that it’s okay. He won’t say anything.”

     Elora stared, having stopped breathing until Charlotte finished talking.

“I know that’s why you got close to me… It’s okay. You don’t have to be friends with me anymore. I won’t tell anyone. I know I’m very quiet and I’m not very fun to hang around with. I don’t want to be a burden or impos—.”

     “Charlotte!” Elora pulled her back in for another hug, squeezing even harder. “Don’t say that! You’re not a burden. You’re my friend!”

     “Really?” Charlotte’s voice broke as the tears streamed down her face.

     “Yes,” Elora pulled away to go seek out her tissue box and hold it out to her, “you’re my friend… and you can call me Flora.”

     Charlotte’s lips quivered as she dabbed a tissue around her eyes. She sniffled a little bit before she went on.

     “That’s pretty.”

     A soft smile grew on Flora’s face.

     Once Charlotte regained her composure, she had even more news to tell. She told Flora that her father had saved something from all of the cores that had gotten confiscated yesterday. He had gifted one of the magic cores to the Regents Academy of Magic and the Dreamer Club would receive special privileges to access it first.

     “What did he save?” Flora asked.

     Mr. Gallison had saved the magic preservation ability. Convincing the Power Authority of its usefulness, thanks to Charlotte’s intense ramblings about their search for such an ability.     

     The very next day, they went to the magic holding room where it was being kept.   

     The magic core floated above a pedestal, suspended in gravity as its light captivated like a glass moon, the deep violet glowing as they approached it. They had invited Jaelin along too. He fought the smile forming on his face as he set his hands on the glass around the pedestal.

     He stood there, recollecting everything he had learned from his grandfather about dreamer magic systems (from seals to magic networks and magic interfaces)—a gift he did not possess—and applying it to his developer magic. He formed a set of silver wristguards and they appeared over the glass; then he turned to Flora, explaining his design intention in extensive detail. Very. Extensive. Detail. Flora wasn’t sure when he was going to finally shut up.

     Eventually, he passed the wristguards off to her and Flora held them to the glass. Her purple casting magic glowed at her fingertips as she held onto the wristguards. Instilling them with her own casting magic.

     They didn't stick around the magic holding room for very long. They went straight to one of the magic practice rooms afterwards. It was time to test out their prototype.

     “Whoa!” Imogene held her arms out in front of herself, inspecting the detail of the wristguards’ floral embossings and smiling wide as she swung her arm out. A bright purple field appeared over the wristguard—about the size of a frisbee.

     With another motion, she whisked the energy disc across the room. Almost striking Kaden in the chest before he jumped back and it sliced halfway into the wall beside him instead.

     “Hey!” Kaden narrowed his eyes. “I’m not training with you if you can’t control that thing yet!”

     Imogene recoiled at her mistake.

     “Sorry!” 

     Charlotte and Jaelin hid their laughter off to the side, having expected some troubleshooting. But Flora didn’t hide the smile that cracked on her face. She couldn’t help but smile at the couple of firelights that went over to pester Kaden after that—weaving in and out around him until he lightened up a bit.

     Feeling her own thoughts drifting out of the shadows of darkness.

[aprillikesthings]

So, I'm not the first person to have noticed this, but--

If you have ADHD, and one of your parents was an abusive shithead, chances are the abusive parent is the one you inherited the ADHD from. (I don't have numbers on this--it's just a thing a lot of people have noticed.)

And that...fascinates me.

Because yeah, some of it is emotional volatility and poor impulse control and just that, in a lot of parts of the USA at least, it's still socially acceptable (and/or expected) to beat your kids.

But! I also wonder how much of it is "maybe if I punish you enough, you will turn out Normal in a way I didn't."

But that can't be all of it, because in many cases, like my dad's--I mean, he said his mom did the same shit to him. So why did he think doing it to us would get a different result????*

So I also wonder how much of it is "I hate these qualities in myself SO MUCH that seeing them in you is making me hate you, too." So it's almost self-harm by proxy.

And man is that just really, really fucked up.

More personal details behind the readmore--

*that's actually one of the things that is so crazy-making when I look back at my childhood. All that abuse was supposedly because I was doing badly in school. But they knew what improved my grades--literally just riding my ass every single day to show my homework to them and/or getting progress notes every single week. It was hell in some ways but it was a relief because the accountability meant that at least I got my homework done. And they wouldn't fucking do it for longer than a few weeks or months--they would go back to the same thing of waiting until report cards were in, freaking out, screaming at me, beating me and/or grounding me for months at a time. Again. And again. And again. And again. So it was definitely not "for my own good" or whatever bullshit reason they rationalized to themselves.

And the only thing I can think of, is that they couldn't deal with watching how hard it actually was for me to stay on task. That it was physically impossible for me to focus. That it took me hours to finish a math worksheet and that I'd cry with frustration at my own inability to just fucking finish the thing. I can remember one of those times, sobbing at the dinner table while my dad yelled at me because YOU JUST NEED TO PAY ATTENTION AND DO IT. (Because that worked on him as a child, I'm sure. /s)

I'd occasionally be told to do it in my room since I couldn't pay attention with other people around me, but of course, I didn't focus any better there. If anything it was worse because nobody was there to see I'd drifted off and tell me to get back on task.

Oh, the irony though: in 1995 (just after I turned 16) we got proper internet. (Before that, it was just my dad on BBS's, which I had no interest in.) Websites took EONS to load. For a solid six months of 1996 my fave thing online was an html-based chatroom. If it was hopping on a Saturday night, it would take five to ten minutes for the page to reload. And so I would do the more boring/busywork kind of homework in my lap while waiting for things to load. Or, once I was on IRC, between interesting bits of conversations. I got more homework done after we got the internet than I had, like, ever.

But also: that was during a spell of several months when my parents were actually getting progress notes weekly.

And then I wonder why I failed out of community college repeatedly even after I got diagnosed and treated. School = trauma for me. Any multi-step project hanging over my head becomes "homework" in my self-conscious, and then I can't do it. I'm still surprised I managed decent grades for the two part-time terms I tried at the local state university in like 2007. (I quit bc doing it on top of working full-time was burning me out.)

When friends of mine with kids find out their kids are struggling in school, and their first instinct is to help them and not punish them, I grieve over what I should've had. I don't know that I'll ever be less angry about it.