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#i just dont understand why its so hard for people to love things or other people
roseworth · 1 year
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the only people that say that comic books arent hard to get into are the people that have been reading them since they were a kid. and the only people that say that comic books are too hard to get into so you shouldnt try are the people that have never bothered opening a comic book.
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fadeintoyou1993 · 3 months
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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fizzingwizard · 1 year
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"My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. The consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as Mrs. Brandon’s, was but too natural. She resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. But can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her[...] she should fall?" - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
#jane austen#sense and sensibility#literature#the level of sympathy and compassion and understanding of the human heart#we think of historical eras as either moral and right or depraved always one or the other#and that the morality of the first was upheld by the stern treatment of anyone who acted out#and by extension that depravity is brought on by a lack of rigidity#but the struggles and paradoxes that are part of being human were just as real and just as common and people DID understand them#its only the base and unimaginative who think everyone can be fit into one righteous box if they just try hard enough#never acknowledging times they failed their own standards or maybe without ever having been tested at all#its easy for someone who is happy to judge someone who is unhappy#and we have always known this and it's always been true but we're still dealing with the same unbending personalities who are so loud#just the other day i was in an internet fight where multiple people were claiming that if someone says no to regular sex they are cheating#the possibility that they just have a low sex drive or are going through something was called an exception too rare to matter#the possibility that people are different and not everyone wants the same amount of sex and sex is really very awful when you dont want it#was laughed and sneered at. whats more a partner who accepts their partners sex drive for what it is was called a beta lol#being compassionate and understanding of people you love = beta behavior LOL LOL#this is why we cant have nice things. relationships should be based on support and communication and openness#to the reality that people change sometimes in ways we like and sometimes in ways we dont. nothing is forever.#my two thoughts that entire thread: i hope the men who read this arent intimidated out of standing up for their female partners. and#i hope the women reading this understand you have to believe in yourself despite all of it. despite everything the world throws at you.#of course women can be mean and selfish just as much as men and of course mens needs and feelings matter and so does keeping commitments#but no one has a crystal ball and if you enter a relationship expecting things will always be A Certain Way you're in for a rude awakening#especially if all you do to promote what you want is to badger and pressure and shame your partner for being an imperfect human#tangent but its just these things are so timeless. we should know better now. there's got to be something wrong with us that we don't
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strwbrymlkshake · 6 months
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I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?
#mine#normally i've been good about not being too upset over things#but oh fucking boy. okay. im glad people are scared of me#i hope they know that im the only right one in the whole world and they are wrong and are justified for fearing me and im glad my existence#will turn them off from sharing their wrong opinions. but oh FUCKING BOY? ive been sitting here the whole time like oh they hate me#oh they hate me so much they want me to die wahhh and im trying to do all the things they like because im for some reason fucking bothered#by their other opinions. even though the people themselves are useless trash#and oh. like i was suspecting it but its finally confirmed huh??? you all cant fucking stand the sight of me because im right?#you dont understand the truth?? they hated him because he told them the truth? thats me as fuck rn dude#i am literally gracing your eyes with the content i make and basically hand feeding you the correct opinions to have#and yet you still reject them! people just love being stupid unfortunately. i want to kill them all.#i would be so much nicer if you all just agreed with me on the objective truth but unfortunate you have to be stupid#i have graced you with so many GIFTS and protected you from my wrath so many times but you do not even give a fuck#WHY AM I CRYING. YOU ARE ALL SO USELESS WHY AM I CRYING!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE?#i guess im crying because they are all so stupid#so what im saying is its very unfortunate that everyone does not worship me and all my opinions and the world is very hard. yes.#friendship ended with self hatred now delusions of grandeur are my new best friend#even trhing to explain myself makes me sound like a shithead but i swear to fuck if you all just listened to me like youre supposed to#then absolutely nothing would ever go wrong! but you all had to be stupid on purpose! do you like being wrong? whats your problem#explaining all the reasons im RIGHT and yet i still feel bad for having the gall to do so. i shouldnt feel bad. im doing great. youre just#uncomfortable in the fact that YOURE wrong and making me have to accomodate you for your wrongness? tf is that about#okay lunatic rant over i have finished crying ☝️
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mrfoox · 2 years
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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#diary#personal#i was gonna journal but im far too tired now and i cant.#so instea imma ramble here.#anyways. i was thinking lately how as i got earlier i sorta would just. cut off parts of myself.#like. id observe everyone around me. figure out what was socially acceptable. and remove what wasnt.#sometimes... people would say little things. and i work very very hard to to fix that about myself.#like. if i dont understand humor. i worked REALLY hard so i could. and so i could figure out how to joke and talk with others.#and god. anytime i make friends i try REALLY FUCKING HARD to make sure i like. do their activities that theh like.#i just sorta hope that i can have friends that way. if they like cars well now i do. if they like computers now i do. etc.#and like. i used to try hard to keep up with pop culture shit so i could feel included. cuz otherwise id be left out.#honeslty all of elemetry school i remember trying so hard to fit in and it really made me feel like i lost myself in it all.#i remember in high school a lot of this came to a head and i sorta just. felt lost a lot.#i like. feel a lot better now. i dont do things i dont wanna. i dont try so hard to blend in. but its still really hard sometimes.#i remember. i used to always have to ask what people mean. what a joke was about. i felt excluded from things a lot.#i sorta. gave up on friends in like. grade 7-8ish. i was also sorta depressed. so id just. watch people#and in the winter. id sometimes walk around in little circles and make patterns in the snow. recess wasnt long enough tho#i remember in grade 3 when i sorta became the token loner id just. walk around aimlessly at school.#it was sad being excluded but i really learned to enjoy it to. to really feel the wind. to listen to the sounds. to feel present#i love the swings. still do. might be why i rock so much now? ive always just loved throwing my body around violently.#it honestly makes me really sad now bc it hurts now. i cant move in ways that are fun anymore.#i can rock tho. and i do a lot. yknow i saw a girl(?) on the bus the other day rocking#it was so... strange to see it from the outside. i wonder if thats what i look like now that i think about it.#it was distressing tho bc they seemed upset. bc thats how i rock when upset. just. very regimented.#theyd stop abruptly. then continue. i could really only see myself in that. i wanted to ask if they were okay but...#i felt that it could potentially cause more stress. besides. idk if theyre autistic or whatnot. it could be invasive. i hope they were okay#mn. i sorta wish i had never just. cut away at myself. removing what i deemed garbage.#im... so much different from the way i portay myself sometimes.#i love looking at things. just. staring at stuff. watching people. and. when im with others i remove that.#when i work i have to remove the fun from things. and that sucks.
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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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okay um. genuine question. how do you differentiate romantic attraction from really really strong platonic attraction
#WHY IS THIS SO HARD#ive been romantically attracted to people before. i should know what it feels like. but god its hard to figure it out#just. there's this girl. we've been friends for years and i love her dearly. she means the world to me.#back in like 7th grade she admitted she was crushing on me but at the time i didnt feel the same bc i was still getting over a breakup#but we stayed really close friends. and now im confused because now I might be the one crushing on HER like 4 years later#i. cant tell if its romantic or not. like we've been friends for so long that i genuinely cannot tell if this is just a normal -#- progression in a friendship that's lasted this long or if the change in feelings is romantic#i love her a lot. i dont know if its platonic or not but i love her either way and we're friends first and foremost.#just... the idea of me dating anyone freaks me out in general bc commitment is kind of scary lol. but the idea of dating her doesn't -#- freak me out nearly as much as it normally would. it sounds like it would be nice if i didn't have my own personal fears over it.#she's so sweet and really really funny and i love her smile and her hair and her laugh#i love how enthusiastic she is about her projects and i love how she shows me her questionable impulse buys even when they're REALLY -#- embarrassing and i love when she rambles about the specs of the pc she wants to build even though i don't understand it#i love when we go places and our stupidity multiplies in each others presence and everything becomes infinitely more entertaining and funny#i love how she's rarely ever genuinely judgemental of me or my bullshit#i just. really really really love her. i can't tell if it's because we're friends or if it's cus my feelings have changed but i love her -#- either way. im realizing now though that its probably not normal to get crazy flustered while typing out some things you love about a -#- friend so. that's confusing. anyways send help because my entire face feels hot
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forvirresky · 28 days
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Actually. Re the su post tags. I think pearl was holding it together rather well, really. Some seriously remarkable and commendable composure. We really only see a few instances of it slipping through, and it only turns into a true break in composure when someone presses her on it. If I were her I really dont think I could bear to see the guy that took my best and first and only (for a really long time) friend away from me. Yes it was roses decision, but greg was the catalyst that allowed it to happen at all. I think I would be really resentful, even if I didn't want to be. I certainly could never be the guys friend.
Dude and the implication of pearl possibly getting with a human????? (barring the possibility of the pink pearl that mightve had that subtext? Unsure. There was a fairly long stretch where pearl was shown getting a bunch of humans numbers. And the pink haired girl episode especially) she is never gonna be able to have that crazy lengthy history she had with rose with any human. They just don't live long enough. That's so little time in comparison. It would just be potential after potential after potential. A brief time of attachment and they're gone, and she'd still be there. Again!! It'd be rose over and over and over. I think I'd go bonkers!!!
Anyways su was ok and I'm not into it anymore but some of the character stuff has really stuck with me.
#watching its over isnt it over and over and when greg gets up and leaves feeling a sense of vindication.#like yes old man feel bad!!!! you ignored pearls feelings in favor of your own!!! ignored what she had to say!!!#and the episode has the audacity to end with the implication that “they both loved rose and they both miss her”#at much different intensities buddy!!!!!#i really just saw it as proof of how much she cares. whereas others took it as a peek into some hidden hatred.#come on!!!!#i dont actually want greg to feel bad bc with him and rose it was mutual but hey!!#he literally saw rose and pearl looking like they had a mutual thing too!!#and still went for it!!!#selfish jerk tbh!!!!#i dont hate him. but i really really did not like when he did that. and i wish the show pointed it out.#instead of the wishy washy ohhhh they both miss her theyre so alike actually#wrong. ok???#anyways my favs were pearl and peridot#peridot bc she was so methodical in her manner of figuring things out and taking things literally and fighting preconceptions#and bc she was smart#and pearl bc. guestures to the above. yeah. and bc she was kind and smart and caring.#everyone treated her snapping as a gotcha moment. a terrible personal quality hidden away. but i saw it as more of an enevitability.#and not a personal failing. a direct effect of outside forces pressing on a volatile subject. of course shes gonna flip out over that.#no one else seems to care anymore except her. they all got over it. why cant she? they let it go so fast.#its not a bad thing to love someone that much. frankly id be worried if someone wasnt destitute for ages after.#i took any snap as proof of how much she cared. whereas it seemed some people thought it revealed some hidden hatred.#she was clearly trying so so so hard to understand and be kind. and she did end up caring about steven and even greg in a way!#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk.#the theme of devoting your life to somebody else...yeag 👍
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snekdood · 4 months
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so much of my past art is such a love letter to humanity and yet they keep betraying me and wonder why I hate them so much now
#was it all perfect? no. but it was still better than anyone will give me credit for 😒#maybe humans never even deserved my love.#its really sad to see my love for humans visually decline in my art as I draw them less and less#but like. what can ya do. I can't love a species that hurts me.#i hate feeling so jaded against humans but I just... cant bring myself to feel anything else at this point#I tried again and again and again to give the benefit of the doubt. to give second chances. to see if maybe I've just been wrong#and interacting with the wrong people- it just doesnt seem to matter. I'm not human and thats why I can't fit in.#I have more in common with the animals around me- more understanding between them and i- than I ever do any human.#animals are so much easier to understand. they're so much clearer on what they want or feel... humans just lie and manipulate#and talk behind your back and whole slew of other bs. they can never just fucking be direct.#I honestly think talking is a huge part of the problem- words are too easily misunderstood or people can use them to lie or things#are too complicated to convey with thoughts or whatever#but body language and expression and actions dont lie#i hate how easy it is for me to hate humans and how hard it is for me to love them. but how am I supposed to love something that#hardly if ever shows genuine love and caring for me? I keep trying and nothing is ever changing#i try so hard to be nice and compassionate towards humans in spite of everything they've put me through bc I see ppl always say#that you shouldnt give up or that you should take a chance or whatever but dawg. i'm tired. I cant emotionally handle taking more chances#when I just keep getting burned.#i just want to live alone in the woods forever.
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bmpmp3 · 4 months
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i was like. thinking about the software situation with the cryptonloids and i got curious if there was any progress on the non-miku NT banks yet so i went to listen to those vocals they use in that mobile game (if i remember correctly they use beta versions unreleased to the public?) and like. you know. despite how contentious miku nt herself is i think some of the betas for the others sound pretty good, len sounds fantastic and rin sounds about on par with her older banks (although i do miss a bit of her sharpness) and like. i may be killed with hammers for this but i was listening to the heat abnormal cover and i think i like the kaito nt beta sound more than his v3 like he sounds fantastic here. i dont dislike his v3 or anything but the nt bits ive heard has like some of the depth and richness i so sorely miss from his v1 while having the old-yamaha-keyboard-keyboard-key-spring sound that i do enjoy of his v3.... i do wish it had more of the v1 strength tho
#luka i also like the sound of but also i dont think she sounds like luka. but also im really picky about older luka banks anyway#im not usually a huge fan so that might be why i do enjoy her nt sound. but i also understand why someone would be disappointed because lik#she straight up sounds like a diff person LOL its so fucked up like who is that..... who is that....#and meiko nt beta..... im still not sure if i like her or not. she sounds a bit weak.#they keep getting her to sing in these medium high ranges when i prefer her in either a really high range a la nostalogic OR#in a deeper medium range so i dunno. i just dont know orz#but len does sound really REALLY good like i think i might also like his nt a bit more than his v4#rin is not quite as good as her v4 tho. shes pretty good but missing a bit. which is fascinating. how does that happen but not with len LOL#but its also fascinating the whole situation to begin with. am i insane or has miku nt been like. near abandoned#i basically never see people use her covers or originals outside of the game. is she alive. is she alive#i dont think she sounds horrible or anything ive seen some users do some fantastic things with her. she does look hard to use tho#that might be the biggest issue. and in the game songs she sounds really fantastic on occasion but most of the time she sounds...#kinda wack LOL i love her in the from y to y cover. and that stella song. i dunno about the others#part of this i also think is the line distribution tho. i think with these nt vocals u gotta be careful when putting them with real vocals#like thats why i think the heat abnormal one sounds so good. they use kaito as an accent in a way. he mostly sings backing with his solos#being like the end of the chorus for emphasis. and this already is a perfect song for robotic vocals LOL it was made for em#but combining like his deeper formant with the breathy sound of tomorirus character and that one with the low side ponytail#and the stronger medium high voices of the blonde one and the brunette. sorry i dont know their names LOL the game doesnt run on me phooone#its gorgeous tho it adds such richness. i think the from y to y cover also sounds great with the rich breathy vocal of the girl with#the long straight hair with the thin robotic sound of miku nt. like it swells up from mikus vocals like an orchestra its awesome#i think u cant just use the vsynths like any other character voice in line distribution you gotta use it mostly for depth and emphasis#but i also dont play the game so i might be talking nonsense LOL i just like the songs. but i do wonder why its been so like radio silence#on the other nts software wise. len and rin sound near ready for release. at least compared to miku nt HJLKSJD#and i would like that kaito....give him to me... and i think i could fix the meiko. i could fix her. i can fix her.
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hecksupremechips · 4 months
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The way akishinji and ashbella both have dramatic coma scenes and dramatic shot through the heart scenes like we’ve gotta stop meeting like this 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#theres actually so many similarities between these two pairings which is. probably why theyre my favorite pairings ever#like theres shinji and ashton they are guys with long hair/crabby/trying to be cool but theyre lame/emo/fingerless gloves/repressed#care so so deeply about their friends and break their fucking backs trying to protect them but are terrible with expressing their affection#with words so they come off as uncaring and rude/associates with shady people/buried beneath lies they tell to their friends/hate themselves#plans to die alone because they think they dont matter/bad at sincerity/has it bad like really bad for aki/bella#they love aki/bella for their kindness and sincerity and they feel theyre unworthy of it and that theyre a burden#gets [REDACTED] and held by aki/bella#then the aki isabella similarities are like older sibling who works too hard/stubborn/bad at reading social cues#too good for this world/will punch their friends if needed/bad at self care/emotionally repressed/kinda clumsy and silly#when they find out about shinji/ash trying to get themselves killed they get very angry and emotional and have a big confrontation#lose an important family member despite all their efforts to keep them safe/have trouble understanding their own feelings#especially if those feelings are romantic#and like both couples love to argue and bicker but care for each other so deeply its annoying lol and theres lots of miscommunication#cuz god theyre bad at having feelings and expressing them to each other and theyre long term friends#the coma scenes and the shot through the heart scenes are waaaaay better on the ashbella end though thats a given#since the letter has significantly better writing good god lol#like the emotions are very real and they fuck me up so bad then p3 its like. aki cries for 3 seconds and thats all you get cuz god forbid#a character in this series get to like. be written in a satisfying way lol#the letter just works so much better like akishinji would benefit from those scenes but ashbella needs like no work aksjks#plus ‘this is how it should be’ is a line that i fucking hate cuz of how its treated afterwards meanwhile fucking#‘you are going to die ashton frey. and you are going to die alone’ ‘she got one thing wrong though. i did not die alone’#that shit gets me so bad every single time ITS SO GOOD and such a slap to the face#realizing that youve made a grave error and youre actually loved deeply and matter a lot right as youre dying and feeling relieved#cuz you may be dying. BUT YOU DIDNT DIE ALONE YOU DIED BEING LOVED AND CARED FOR#like idk at least his death is able to mean something for him as a character its still a moment of growth#shinji doesnt learn anything he fully dies believing he deserves it and that everyone will benefit from it#god awful writing right there boooo
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Tsuma is an INSANE one to start on but also a fantastic one... I think my first was SP so it's so funny we've "traded" those specific shows lmao BUT YEAH. YEAH. I BELIEVE YOU. I'M GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT KEISUKE BUT NOT ANYTIME SOON. Tsutsumi's Princess Peach lips every time Maida squishes his face 😭😭😭😭😭
The moment outside the school basically condenses everything about the show for me it's so perfect and cute but I'm INTERNALLY SCREAMING AT ALL OF THIS BEING SAID OUT LOUD... PLEASE... YOU'RE GOING TO END UP ANOTHER IMPRISONED TSUTSUMI... He really is SUCH a malewife though that's what destroyed me frame one... especially because he's really similar to how Tsutsumi talks about himself so like perfect casting I hope he had fun with the role... Definitely continuing when I can are you kiddinggggg
Well Hopefully You Still Think AtR's Cute And/Or Sweet Wherever You're At Now So The Rest Of This Isn't Embarrassing LGSKFJLGJ BUT YEAH... YEAH... I'm aro myself so all that's Complicated right, and definitely something I tried to consider when Sorta-Not-Really-Recommending, but it's good to hear it can be entertaining even without being able to relate :']
THAT COULD'VE GONE /WAY/ SOUTH AT THE PANEL but I'm glad everyone made it out unharmed😭😭😭BUT YEAH... at the end of the Ohashi arc when Ogata threw all his stuff off the desk and the gang just wordlessly put it back for him 'cause that's all they can do... ough. Momence. That's why it was so sick watching everything fall into place [temporarily]. Also appreciate the Jo-ism in doing all the dirty work for a politician in the family and wanting to be stopped without saying it upfront and uhhhhh being fine with dying and/or going to prison LMAO
OH BUT NO PROB it is always tradition for me to send the translated letter once I've indoctrinated someone new :] funny thing is every single version I've sent is different because I've been editing it to this day
AGAIN i chose tsuma cause the title was Utterly Insane and i just had to see for myself what the fuck was going on and im so glad i did... funny that we did trade first-watches (and fun that i get 'my own version' of ogata's letter lmao) :)
BUT YEAHYEAH keisuke's adorable.. like genuinely i think he's tsutsumi's cutest role ive seen so far its hard for me to imagine one topping it in regards to how endearing he is (❁´◡`❁) keisuke being so enamored by his wife but being So Blind To How Things Look is genuinely super funny. like poor guy really is just super happy to have his wife back in a way but not yk (╯▽╰;;; )
Horribly i think of okita from that Taboo movie when it comes to consuming media: even if i dont personally have that experience or understand 100%, i can still appreciate a good story and characters (im paraphrasing SO hard and with less homophobia </3), so if you got anythin good throw it my way anytime ♪(´▽`) !! i'm about to start episode eight in a bit but NO WORRIES i still very much am a fan of the show !! and im sad/excited to see im almost done with it ( sad its almost over, but also SUPER interested to see how everything comes together in the end (☆▽☆) )
#long post#snap chats#tsutsumi drinking game where you have to guess his chara either ends up dead in jail or Somehow Ok ☠️☠️#keisuke's such a dork... he's literally such a puppy of a man right down to being Stupid Loyal it warms my heart (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)#i LOVEE it when takae squishes his face cause I Repeat... he does look super cute and silly...#that's literally all i can say about him He's Cute And Silly and it's why he's one of my fave tsutsumi roles#the best things in life are cute and silly.... its why i love kirby...#now i wonder about how tsutsumi talks about himself if keisuke reminds you of him... inch resting... but i believe its a perfect casting..#BUT ANYWAY YEAH NO the one thing i like about psychology is that it helps me understand people more#or at least im more willing to investigate why X and Y is a thing for Z yk#so Again even if i havent personally experienced something or get it from a Personal perspective i can still work out how other people feel#and just immerse myself and still enjoy the media :)#AH BUT YEAH THE BIT WHERE OGATA THROWS ALL HIS STUFF ON THE GROUND lit the peak ABSOLUTE Top Ten momence#cause Yeah No we're ALL frustrated for him at this point with how much he keeps getting shot down for actually trying to do his job#but not do his job TOO well no cause God Forbid THAT happens i guess. again makes it hard to be mad at him for being out of pocket lmao#IN ANY CASE im gonna go do somethin quick then im gon finish AtR either within the next two hours or at least this morning BYE#birthday went fine nothing too remarkable happened other than my sis and her boyfriend made pizza and it was real good#then they my bro and i all played smash bros and i was trying my best Not to play too seriously cause ik my sis and her bf dont game much#but my bro and i do and i at least wanted to give em a chance to have fun ☠️ alright ima go take care of That Thing BYE
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Me: I want to spend more time with people, I miss close contact with others :(
Also me: -only wants to spend time with 4 ppl irl, none of which live close by or have the ability to come by-
#miranda talking shit#My autistic mind do many intresting things for me. Some of which is fun but tge fact im so selective witb people is annoying#Like i feel annoying. I just want to be with those people but i cant so my brain is like 'well then i dont want to :( why am i lonely?'#I have more than one friend in my city i could spend time with but they... Arent one of the 4 golden chosen people so i ):#I dony hate them or anything they are nice but my obsessive minf just want to be with 4 ppl majority of the time#Bc they are the 4 people who take little energy from me or even give me energy socially#Everyone else i feel take more than give. Not their fault just how im built and how comfortable i am around others#Im so obsessive over fabian bc hes one of the very few i can talk with for maby hours. Without me noticing#I understand im annoying him and probably being a bother since i always want to talk to him but hes obe of the select few#Few times he actually take energy from me is when im already in a bad mental state and then everyone tire me . Otherwise he just doesnt#Tire me. Think its bc ive learned i dont HAVE to be fun and entertain him. We can just sit and do our own thing whule on discord#Silence is good with him . I like silence in general but always am anxious others hate it or find it awkward. But he have expressed#He likes silence and reassured me he doesnt need me to talk or fill silence. I hate how weirdly obsessive i am and get especially towards#People. No one wants that kind of attention from me and i try to not be Extra ™ but also like.... Its a nice feeling?#I like loving people. And talking to those people... I just dont ever know when im too much. Bc in the moment its#So hard to monitor... Where the 'normal' social lines are drawn. And it goes double when its people i already know and thus love#Then my brain is just '!!!! Omg i love them :)!!!!' and i dont think as much about how i... Appear and act#Would love to find someone who would actually like the type of attention I give and not to feel i am too much all the time...#Mirandas friends
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honeytonedhottie · 25 days
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starting ur healing journey⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🩹🎀
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healing is so important for us to function and have good quality of life. a lot of the time its easy to brush ur mental and emotional health underneath the rug but its just as important as ur physical health, if not more important. take care of urself…💬🎀
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SHADOW WORK ;
shadow work is a form of journalling that focuses on confronting our "shadows" or parts of us that we dont know well, to help kind of understand ourselves better, why we respond to certain situations the way we do etc. it rly dives into urself and ur shadows.
HOT TIP ; if u search shadow work prompts on pinterest they have some rly rly good prompts, thats where i get all of my prompts. i also have a couple posts that include shadow work prompts…💬🎀
the most common way i see people do shadow work, and the way i do it, is by using shadow work prompts and choosing a few that resonate with me. i'd answer the prompt in depth and talk about it in my journal. shadow work has helped me heal in so many ways and i highly recommend it if ur thinking about starting to do shadow work every now and then.
WHAT DO U STRUGGLE WITH ;
recognizing what triggers you and things that u struggle with help you to identify the underlying source. this is called being more aware of urself, so i challenge u to dig deeper into urself and try and find out what the BIG idea is.
some things to take note of when ur trying to identify the deeper reasons for ur behaviors, feelings etc is to look at…💬🎀
♡ what do i value
♡ what do i have the strongest opinions towards
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♡ what is something that i think of all the time/why do i think that all the time
by also looking at ur biggest fears, ur strongest opinions and ur deeply held values u can kind of understand what u value most and where ur insecurities and fears stem from. something that u can also look to is the things that u regret...
STRUGGLE WITH REGRET ;
first off, understand that u should recognize, reflect and then move on because living in a past moment is stagnant and u can't expect urself to heal if ur doing so. the only thing that u rly can do is heal from it and learn from whatever u regret so much so that then in the future u dont repeat those same things.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING GENTLE WITH URSELF ;
practice self compassion!! i swear everyone is so kind to literally everyone EXCEPT for themselves. give urself a break and humanize urself. u can do this by allowing urself to make mistakes and forcing urself out of the shame cycle. you are allowed to make mistakes cuz your human!! stop being so hard on urself.
furthermore remembering to be gentle with urself can cultivate a better relationship with self. acknowledge ur feelings and remember that whatever emotions ur feeling are totally normal and valid. doing things like…💬🎀
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♡ journalling and nurturing urself, ur being gentle with urself and to me thats rly important when embarking on ur self healing journey
WAYS TO SHOW URSELF THAT U CARE ;
♡ practicing forms of self care and grooming - ur showing urself the love that u deserve and that ur worth taking care of and putting in effort for
♡ being mindful of ur health through what u eat, how much u sleep etc
♡ walking away from toxic situations, people etc and protecting ur peace in doing so
♡ getting fresh air everyday and moving ur body
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♡ focus on urself and your needs before focusing on the needs of other people. you first.
SEEK AND YOU'LL FIND ;
lately most of my worries and the thing that has been putting the biggest strain on my mental health is things that i dont have the answer to. and by seeking help from some of my moots and my friends and searching on my own for answers that satisfied my curiosity i feel like i can live yk? cuz im constantly in a state of wondering and asking myself things that ik stress myself out and im working on breaking that cycle…💬🎀
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miya-rin · 2 months
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“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”
shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.
“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.
“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.
“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.
“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.
“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”
“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”
“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.
“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.
“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.
you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.
“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.
“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.
“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”
“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”
“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.
“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”
“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”
“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3
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lubrumalis · 3 months
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ghost headcanons! (realistic)
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tw: nsfw, spoilers, dead dove do not eat
a lot of these are based off of my personal understanding of him
part 2 —> character analysis of ghost
general:
didn’t go back to manchester after his family died, too many foul memories—a lot of friends will probably know him as a murderer (comic reference, ghost was accused of killing his family in the newspaper)
has a fit body. a lot of people like to hc him as big and bulky, i think otherwise! its actually a huge disadvantage to be bulky in size as a soldier (logistics while fighting yk). most SAS soldiers are trained for endurance and fitness, i think he has a moreso lean body
hes not cold and ruthless, wouldn’t say hes a big softie either.
VERYYYY punctual. always on time
will not abuse or rape anyone. this guys been through atrocities, he would never do it to someone else
won’t hire a prostitute, ever.
honestly, hes just another dude in the military. he loves dad jokes and bourbon😭
ghost doesn’t think hes mean or tries to be, he simply is intimidating because of his size and way of talking
he likes watching soccer in his free time
gets internally offended if someone thinks hes from london (anywhere but Manchester)
very dark humoured. tell him any dark joke and he wouldn’t care
loves tea
listens to older british bands, like the smiths
cannot understand modern slang at all. what does ‘iykyk’ and ‘rizzler’ mean???
texts like a typical millennial. uses ‘😂’ and ‘😜’ unironically. types with proper grammar and spelling with punctuation too, maybe an occasional LOL
also unironically likes posts about trust issues and being a sigma male. he doesn’t actually think hes one, he just relates to those quotes that are like: “being alone is better than with fakes” 😭😭😭😭
ghost probably hates other men more than misandrists 😕 i think its bc hes always fighting other men and dealing with the cruel things theyve done, so ghost subconsciously feels more on guard with men he doesnt know
has insomnia
doesn’t cry. ghost doesn’t remember the last time he cried.
isn’t rich rich, but has a ton of savings. he doesn’t have a family or spend a lot. so the money piles up.
relationship hcs:
first off, i dont think he’d realistically get into one anyway LMAO
s/o would have to the chasing, i dont think ghost is the kind to actively pursue someone
he has charisma, doesn’t feel like using it
hes very against the idea at first—his family got murdered because he was in the military, you think hes gonna let it happen again?
probably will not like someone working with him as a soldier
i think itd go two ways: a) you are a civilian who aggressively pursues the poor guy and he gives in, b) you work as a military nurse and gradually get to know him, c) you are a longtime close friend of his before he was in the military
i cant see him being fwb with anyone, only one night stands
hes not a toxic partner or super lovey dovey
ghost doesn’t entertain multiple women at once
itd most likely end up in a breakup where he fears for your safety:(((
BUT lets ignore that
tbh, i think he would probably be with someone very empathetic and kind to others. he doesn’t like people overly energetic, too soft, or someone that annoys him
persons gotta be independent and good with long distance
simon doesn’t care about age gaps, but probably wants someone at least in their late twenties
had a hard time opening up, eventually told you everything once he trusts you
another reason why i think he wants someone empathetic is because he has severe trust issues😃😃
last thing he’d care about is looks for long term relationships
the type of guy to disappear for 6 months and reappear to be like “remember im your husband???”🫡
doesn’t let you tell your friends about him—No hes not being uncommitted or toxic, but hes simply being cautious after what happened to his family
you can’t show anyone photos of him, his name, his occupation, NOTHHINGGG
so you fake a name for your bf who your friends think you’re lying about
definitely does not let you post on social media about him either.
installs security in your home, teaches you self defense, and gives you weapons. this guy can be paranoid
will never hit you or lay a hand on you
ghost genuinely thinks you saved him—his life was bleak and empty before you came in. subconsciously thinks of you as a savior
he buys you gifts, does chores for you, he really likes you :(
ghost actively tries to make his voice sound softer and friendlier when hes talking to you
doesnt understand playing mind games, things like the silent treatment or “im ok” when ur not ok thing. just tell him how you feel
doesn’t tell his team about your existence. you and his job are always going to be separate.
avoids talking about what he does in the military. ghost has killed and injured many and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him.
scary dog privileges for SURE
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