#i hope you dont mind that I use your ask as an opportunity to experiment with ids

[glitzybunny]

DROPS THROUGH YOUR ROOD LIKE A MISSILE Howdy!!! I have come

to give you a big giant hug

AND flowers :DDD!!!

Hope youre having a great day/night!!!

and if not than i hope your day or week gets better!!! <3333

EXPLODES RUNS AROUND

EXPLODES AGAIN

My day has been okay!

Not too productive, mostly resting this weekend when I should be working buts its okkkkaaayyyyy probably sjshdjak

Thank you Crystal 💕 BDAJJDKANFKDK

And thank you for the flowers too!

ID: A quick drawing of my sona holding flowers with happy expression surrounded by a few hearts. There is also a poorly drawn roof with a hole with bits of wood, debris and a pipe sticking out indicating my roof has been damaged. End ID

[akutasoda]

hi hi ml!!! we’ve only recently become moots but i hope you dont mind me joining your event 🫶‼️ if star rail is still open, wb boothill & aventurine !! with general domestic stuff !! specifically cooking or baking with him ;; i wonder how that would go

also thank you again for the opportunity 💕💕

a life with you

synopsis - a domestic lifestyle with them

includes - aventurine, boothill

warnings - gn!reader, domestic stuff, fluff, slight angst at the start, slight crack, teasing, wc - 675

a/n: hii ren! don't mind at all <3

aventurine ★↷

↪a domestic setting to aventurine is something to be treasured with your loved ones. he loved his family and he still does but now after all this time, the person he gets to experience domestic bliss with is you.

↪to him, being with you in that domestic style is one of the only places where he can show his weaknesses. it's just you and him so if you've made it this far with him he trusts you enough to show his most vulnerable side.

↪it would be a change of pace compared to his life as one of the stonehearts but a very welcome change. he'll let himself indulge heavily in the moments of peace with you as he knows that being with you is the closest thing he can get to being safe.

↪due to being a stoneheart, he is prone to being sent across the galaxy quite often and with you in his life he does try and get back to you as quick as possible. alot of the time he gets back late as well so doesn't encourage you to wait up for him but if you do, his heart melts so much.

↪once he gets really comfortable with you, you can start seeing him become more open and honest with his words and actions. he likes to embrace you whenever he can and sometimes catches himself unconsciously searrching for your figure even if you're right next to him.

↪maybe has some cooking or baking skills but would be extremely limited - very open to learn however and whether it's out of genuine interest or just an excuse to be with you is up in the air. very willing to help you anywhere and so cooking or baking is no exception.

↪would be a surprisingly good baker/cook. it takes him a little while to get into it but when he does he becomes very efficient. no accidents would occur when you two cook or bale together and whatever you'd make would turn out very good.

boothill ★↷

↪a galaxy ranger, a bounty hunter, a cowboy. boothill was many things, constantly moving around to chase his next target - he didn't live for himself afterall. he never settled in one area for too long and so domestic activities were irrelevant in his life.

↪he probably had a higher probability of experiencing domestic activities when he was human but definitely not as a cyborg. he just doesn't have time for such trivial things that wouldn't give him the homeliness that it would to anyone else. or so he thought.

↪you made alot of things that seemed pointless to his cold metal body worthwhile. he may not be able to feel the same feelings he used to but atleast with you he could fully convince himself that he could. so that domestic feeling becomes real to him.

↪ it's never really a dull day when boothill's around, although if you asked him he'd tone down his slight hyperactive mind. he isn't that energetic at home but he can get very loud and annoying sometimes especially when you knwo he's trying to tease you

↪he's very touchy both in and out of a private setting, sometimes tones it down if you aren't really a pda type. while he may not be able to feel you under his cold fingertips he can instead feel a comfort in knowing nobody would dare mess with you when you have him practically slumped on top of you. also is a massive bed hogger - you have to fight him for even a slither of the bed.

↪cooking probably isn't one of boothill's strong suits. whether or not he actually need to consume food is unknown - he probably doesn't but because he does have a human face he probably can still taste. however he'd gladly entertain you if you wanted cook or bake with him.

↪ absolutely no help whatsoever. most likely does not know how to cook or bake but would insist he does just to nearly set things on fire. if you really wanted him to help you probably have to distract him by telling him to hand you ingredients or stir things but then he'd insist to help - do you think he could pull up recipes in his mind?

akutasoda's 1k event

[sincerely-sofie]

Hey! Was hoping to ask, do you have any ideas what tarot cards might represent some of the main cast? (If you dont know anything about them, thats fine, you can just Google it probably)

Oh man. Definitely gonna have to use Google for this— it's been a while since I last read up on the Major Arcana. Hoping that I can find legitimate descriptions of the cards. I’ll include summaries that I yoink from various sources.

Twig: Judgement. “The Judgement Tarot card symbolizes spiritual awakening, transformation and absolution. It encourages self-reflection and evaluation to make life-altering decisions. In readings it is a reminder of the importance of honesty, communication and intuition in achieving personal growth.”

Ark: The Moon. “You need to be aware of the situations that are causing fear and anxiety in your mind, whether it is now or in the future. It alerts you not to allow inner disturbances and self-deception to take the best of you. These deep memories and fears must be let go, and the negative energies must be released and turned into something constructive… Another reading of the Moon card is the existence of illusion. Some hidden truth must be discovered, for what you are seeing now may just be a trick of the light. You must search for the hidden forces that must be unraveled.”

Opal: The Magician. “When the Magician appears in a spread, it points to the talents, capabilities and resources at the querent's disposal to succeed. The message is to tap into one's full potential rather than holding back, especially when there is a need to transform something.”

Spindle: The Devil (specifically reversed). “You are being called to your highest potential, but first, you must let go of any unhealthy attachments or limiting beliefs that may hold you back. Often, when you are called to something ‘more’, you must deal with your shadows before you can step into this new version of yourself. It may be an addiction, unhealthy relationships, or a disengaging career. Let go of fear and release any self-imposed limiting beliefs standing in the way of your growth. It is easier than you realize.”

Kip: Strength. “The Strength Tarot card is the Major Arcana card of inner strength. It represents mastering raw emotions in order to bring calm to yourself or a situation. It is similar to the Chariot in that it represents overcoming challenges. However, the Strength card usually refers to inner challenges. Overcoming the obstacles we face in relation to our own doubts, fears and anxieties. In a general context this card indicates that you are learning to master your fears and anxieties, to be courageous and daring. You have all the skills you need to be successful, the focus now is to conquer your inner worries and believe in yourself.”

Sen: Death. “The Death card is probably the most feared and misunderstood of all the cards in the Tarot deck. Just mention the card’s name and most people freak out, worried they will suddenly keel over and die as soon as this card appears… The Death card symbolizes the end of a major phase or aspect of your life that you realize is no longer serving you, opening up the possibility of something far more valuable and essential. You must close one door to open another. You need to put the past behind you and part ways, ready to embrace new opportunities and possibilities. It may be difficult to let go of the past, but you will soon see its importance and the promise of renewal and transformation. If you resist these necessary endings, you may experience pain, both emotionally and physically, but if you exercise your imagination and visualize a new possibility, you allow more constructive patterns to emerge.”

Lucky: The Star. “As The Star follows The Tower card in Tarot, it comes as a welcome reprieve after a period of destruction and turmoil. You have endured many challenges and stripped yourself bare of any limiting beliefs that have previously held you back. You are realizing your core essence, who you are beneath all the layers. No matter what life throws your way, you know that you are always connected to the Divine and pure loving energy. You hold a new sense of self, a new appreciation for the core of your Being.”

Celebi: The Empress. “As the Mother Earth archetype, The Empress urges you to venture out into nature to ground your energy and be in flow with the earth. Take a trip to your favorite natural setting, be it a forest, beach, mountain or lake, and sit for a couple of minutes, hours or even days to breathe in the energy that surrounds you while marveling in the beauty of your surroundings. Allow yourself the time and the space to enter a different frame of mind and receive the grounding spirit of nature into your heart and consciousness. When you do this, you can reach higher planes of consciousness.”

Dusknoir: Justice (specifically reversed— though upright fits as well). “Justice Reversed can suggest that internally, you know you’ve done something that isn’t morally right… (Y)ou will need to live with the consequences on your conscience, so go with what feels right for you… When Justice is reversed, it can indicate your inner critic is in full effect. You may be evaluating your every move and coming down hard on yourself when you misstep. If this resonates, start from a place of forgiveness and self-acceptance. Show yourself a bit of kindness and compassion, knowing we all make mistakes. Thank your inner critic for bringing this private judgement to your conscious awareness, and trust you can now clear it away.”

Grovyle: The Emperor. “As the father figure of the Tarot deck, The Emperor suggests that you are adopting this fatherly role (regardless of whether you are male or female), providing for your family, and protecting and defending your loved ones. You may be the breadwinner or the ‘rock’ for those who rely on your stability and security… You have a clear vision of what you want to create, and you organize those around you to manifest your goal.”

Bud: The Tower. “When The Tower card appears in a Tarot reading, expect the unexpected – massive change, upheaval, destruction and chaos… There’s no escaping it… Your world may come crashing down before you, in ways you could never have imagined as you realize that you have been building your life on unstable foundations – false assumptions, mistruths, illusions, blatant lies, and so on. Everything you thought to be true has turned on its head. You are now questioning what is real and what is not; what you can rely upon and what you cannot trust. This can be very confusing and disorienting, especially when your core belief systems are challenged. But over time, you will come to see that your original beliefs were built on a false understanding, and your new belief systems are more representative of reality.”

Cresselia: The High Priestess (specifically reversed). “It is time to get quiet and withdraw yourself from the external world to observe what your inner guidance is sharing with you now… Ask yourself: Do I struggle to trust my intuition fully? Perhaps you doubt yourself or feel silly or guilty for listening to your intuition, and as a result, you deny your ability to tune in and receive this potent information. You may also keep your intuitive capabilities hidden from others, fearful of their judgements or opinions. If this resonates, know that your intuition is your superpower, here to guide you and help you. Have faith in the Universe and allow yourself to be in flow with its energies. Surrender and let go.”

[primewritessmut]

Hello! I hope you dont mind me asking. Why did you delete stop talking, keep talking? Do you think it will ever come back? It was one of my comfort fics so I was just curious

There are about a million answers to this question: I didn't want that work to define me. I hated getting notifications that someone had commented on it even when the comments were positive. It was not at all the introduction to that fandom that I'd hoped it would be for (again) a whole lot of reasons. None of which I want to delve into that deeply.

And, because you asked, you've given me an opportunity to jump on my soapbox (which is something that I've been wanting to do and you just wandered into the blast zone by virtue of being the one that sent this ask).

I'm sure there are folks out there, maybe even you (!), thinking, "But Prime, why didn't you just orphan your work?" And the answer is in the question.

Because it's MY work.

It's my intellectual property despite being a vehicle for pre-existing characters and I honestly think it's fucking awful that there's an expectation within fandom that I somehow waived my rights to that just because it's already posted and people have bookmarked it and loved it.

That is a work I was very proud of for a lot of reasons but it's also a work that is mired in my worst experiences within fandom and I ended up fucking hating it. To the point where I regretted writing it and didn't want it to exist at all.

So I deleted it.

Again because it's MY work.

I'm glad it brought people solace or comfort or entertainment or whatever while it was available but it absolutely killed me. And the fact that there's a faction of fandom out there that think it's content that I somehow OWE them despite not only the hours that I worked to write it but also the absolute shitshow it made of my mental health and enjoyment of fandom makes me glad I deleted it.

I'm not a content machine. I'm a writer. And I should not only be allowed to do whatever I want with my work but also supported in doing that. If people give a shit about writers and give a shit about art and give a shit about an artist's actual intellectual property, then part of that is accepting that sometimes that art is going to be used in ways you don't like.

I don't write for other people, I write for myself. I share it with others because it's rewarding and when it's no longer rewarding...

(I know you messaged me later apologizing for asking this question because you thought it was kind of rude (it is) but I also manifested a question like this specifically so I could get everything off my chest so thanks for that.)

[fireboltsystem]

ok this is going to be an obnoxiously long ask jsyk ahead of time, i have a lot of little things to say/ask aoejrof. 1. this is our-library's main blog!! for context, since im sure youve seen us in your notifs lmao 2. related apologies for digging through so much of your blog we were really curious about you because weve been following you on sonicaspeed for a long time and we wanted to know more about you! 3. related again im about to ask a LOT of questions that youre totally free not to answer if theyre too invasive, but theyre all things were genuinely curious/confused about, so wed like to at least take the opportunity to ask! 4. i really hope you dont mind us jabbering at you like this too much alejfkfn we tend to yap ^^'

first thing were really interested in is how exactly an endogenic system works, talking as a traumagenic did (as far as we know) system, especially one thats partially endo and partially traumatic as you seem to be. in the past weve gone from negative (due to being around people who were very bitter about endogenic systems when we were first figuring ourselves out) to supporting it and knowing full well they exist but not understanding it, and wed like to go to understanding and supporting it, but thats really hard when we dont really have an example and looking things up, as always, leads nowhere.

this is of course a little more personal, but we wanted to ask about your subsystem a little, partially due to the fact that weve begun to form our own and arent totally sure how to handle them yet; i noticed a mention of a satellite subsystem within the solar subsystem? is that a nested subsystem? im both very curious, baffled, intrigued, and wanting to know in case it comes up for us, but either way, id love to know exactly how that organization works exactly!

and, um...oh, that might actually be all the questions. woopsie. overestimated that a lil, hehe. think we mightve answered some of them for ourselves as we were scrolling through your blog and then TOTALLY forgot that we didnt have as many questions as we did when we first read your pinned post. we did still manage to yap for a While though apwkrjgh hope this finds you well and all that and that you dont mind the long ask and all the notifs!!! were gonna go raid your sonic blog using our main blog to rb now lmao

🌪 - Oh snap hey! No worries about 'spam' it doesn't bother us at all lol.

Response got LONG so I'll throw it under a cut!

Endogenic systems have as wide a variety of experiences as traumagenic systems do, so describing how they "work" generally is kind of impossible KWNFWK. The only thing to keep in mind is that endogenic systems and system members form for reasons other than trauma - maybe they were born that way, maybe it's neurodivergence, maybe it's spiritual beliefs, intentional formation, or any number of other reasons! Not all endogenic systems lack trauma or even disorders - You can be a system and then experience trauma which causes problems for you later on. Or you can experience trauma that doesn't cause plurality in you, and then discover or become plural later, too! If you don't know yet about Pluralpedia, it can be confusing to navigate but has tons of info about different system origins, traumagenic and endogenic alike. Plus lots of other info about plurality as well!

We consider our system to be primarily traumagenic, but with many individual endogenic members. Most of our endo members exist as introjects and come from the process of creating or experiencing art - our brain is just naturally inclined to make headmates out of characters we connect with qkdnskcn.

As for our subsystems: Yeah, the Satellite subsystem is nested within the Solar subsystem. Team Solar consists of me (Zephyr) and everyone from my world, including my own headmates from back then. The Satellite subsystem is the Shadow I know from my world and all of his headmates that basically got carried over with him. That includes Mia - his protector and introject of his sister - and some of the Black Arms that hitched a ride. The Satellite subsystem is a classic "system-within-a-system". They experience shifting fronting patterns and stuff like that just like we do generally, sometimes cofronting/coconsciousness too. The Satellite subsystem is traumagenic, and Shadow is considered the host for them. They have protectors, persecutors, trauma holders, etc that revolve around Shadow, rather than the system as a whole or any other particular member. We think this is because they are his alters specifically!

For the most part, we use subsystems as organizational labels first, just to communicate and remember who is related or connected to who. Shared sources is usually the deciding factor for whether we lump headmates together in a subsystem or not. Headmates that are 'related' in some way tend to be more likely to be close to front for us at the same time, if that makes sense? Like loose package deals. The Satellite subsys is probably the closest thing we have to a traditional Subsystem as described by the general plural community, probably because they were a system before entering this one (and so was I actually!).

In another ask, you added the question "What are 'exomemories'?". Sometimes known as 'pseudomemories' (we don't like that term personally for reasons we'll get into), they're memories of things the body didn't experience. "Memories from outside", exo-memory. For us these can manifest as traumatic flashbacks to source moments, or positive memories of our lives before being in this system, or just basic facts about who we are and our home worlds. I have a TON of exomemories. I'm very close to source and care about it a lot! Since you follow our art blog you probably already know how much of our work is based on exomems akdnwkfsnci. We don't like using the term 'pseudomemory' for ourselves because there's nothing 'pseudo-' about them. They feel just as real as any of my memories of this life and shape who I am even more!

Hope this was interesting and/or helpful! Feel free to send more questions our way if you have any.

-Zephyr

[aliorsboxostuff]

i saw in your bio that you're genderfluid and i'm literally screaming i'm genderfluid too :)) is it ok if i request a tangerine x genderfluid reader fic? :3 i don't have any idea for the plot, maybe reader coming out to him? if that's ok with you, of course. much love <3

A/N: HI FELLOW GENDERFLUID!! I, too, am the fluid of genders. And yes absolutely! As for the fic itself, I'm taking a little bit of my own experience being genderfluid with my accepting friends so if this is too short I (sadly) have yet to find a man that accepts my fluidity :( BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE WRITER enjoy this fluffy, soft fic anon! <3

At Your Pace

Tags: Tangerine x Genderfluid!reader, no masc/fem specified, no use of Y/n, fluff, no smut, soft!Tangerine, supportive!Tangerine, coming out, reassurance and acceptance, anxiety (Only a bit), no hurt all comfort, Tangerine might be a bit OOC sorry!

Three months and he still hasn't asked about your gender. You started to worry, because he either doesn't care or he’ll care too much and freak out when you finally tell him. Your brain leans to the latter possibility so you decide to confront him one fateful night. 

—

Three months

9 weeks, 91 days, 2,184 hours since Tangerine and you became a couple.

Three months since you went on your first date with him—a trip to the aquarium where you beamed at every fish that swam past you, adoration in Tangerines eyes—and has since gone on various different dates and meet ups with him. 

Yes, you're aware of what he and his twin do for a living. No, you didn't get killed by his agency and swore to protect that information. Yes, you actually don't mind it since he's the most interesting thing that has happened in your otherwise boring life. And yes, you miss him a lot when he goes on missions, but despite it all, you await his return home for another week or two going to places with him by your side. 

Three months, and he doesn't ask what gender you identify as.

To put it simply, when you and Tangerine met, you instantly clocked the posh and pristine look and thought; "He's definitely gay." 

while on the other hand, taking account of your choice of clothing and makeup, it's not clear what you are. A damn fine human being for sure, but either you're in or out of the gender spectrum is questionable. Despite that though, Tangerine saunters over to you from across the park, to where you're sitting and reading your book, and introduces himself with the most charming smile. He only asked what you go by—pronouns and sexuality so he doesn't approach the wrong person—and went on with his conversation.

Since then, you've been spending most of your time stuck to his side, going on date number 60th and so on, sharing stories from missions or from your everyday life, and planning on far futures you dont think could happen, but can hope. 

He's always been supportive of your choices; encouraging you to wear pieces you know you'll look good in but anxious to wear, beaming at you when you go out with a new makeup look, and overall loving you without hesitation. 

You tried bringing it up once or twice, while watching a movie where one of the characters is either nonbinary or genderfluid, and has since learned that Tangerine is cisgender and gay. He asked you the same question, minus the gender, and that got your gears going because; who asks the "What sexuality and gender are you?" without the gender part?

Ever since then, you've just been slightly inching your way to find a perfect opportunity to tell him.

Tonight, is the night.

Four days into Tangerines week off and you and him are currently setting up a comfy night in. Blankets, pillows, and a movie already picked for the living room TV. You've currently cocooned inside one of the many blankets on the couch when you hear Tangerine walk into the room.

"Here we are," He sets down the bowl of snacks. "Room for one more?"

You chuckle and extend your arm, enough so Tangerine can slip next to you underneath the blankets. He starts to shuffle for the remote and you realize this would be the only chance to finally talk to him about it. No romantic settings, no days out, just a safe space between you two.

When he finally finds the remote, you also find your courage.

"Wait," Your hand stops on top of his. Tangerine turns towards you, bright blue eyes with curiosity in them. "I have something i wanna talk about,"

He nods, setting down the remote and fully bringing your hands into his. "Of course love," he answers slowly. 

Words jumble in your brain as you try to arrange them right, anxiety biting at your tongue. “Take your time,” Tangerine, ever so carefully, caresses circles in between your index and thumb. You inhale, then exhale a shaky breath before you have those stark eyes laced with worry.

“We've been dating for three months now, yes?” He nods, you slowly continue.

“You’ve told me about your work, and I've told you my secrets as well, but…” Your voice croaks. You half expected Tangerine to push on, but instead, he sits attentively, still holding your hands in his. There's really a reason why Tangerine would freak out—Or hell forbid, break up with you—So the growing sweat beneath your collar doesn't add up to Tangerine's patience. You gulp, finally continuing.

“There’s something you need to know,” You wait.

A beat, before he replies steadily, “Alright,”

“I’m gender fluid.” Your eyes snap to the blanket pooling at your waist. The silence was nauseating, nothing good could come out of a pause from such a heavy confession, and a late one at that. What were you thinking? You should've given him the chance at the first week, hell, the first day! It’s common courtesy nowadays, isn't it? Why did you wait for-

“Okay,” 

Your head jerks up. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay, and?” 

Your moth mimics a fish, eyes blinking rapidly. Tangerine grins and tilts his head as if your answer confuses him instead of the other way around. “That's it? Okay?”

“Yeah, what else am I supposed to say?” He grins. “I thought you were going to say you’re a murderer or sumn’, now that would make m’jaw drop,”

“Huh?” You laugh in disbelief. 

“Well yeah, we only got one room for a killer in this relationship and I believe that’s been taken by me, love,” 

“Tangerine!” Your laughter grows, careening into his shoulder as he also chuckles. 

“What? I'm right, aren't I? I’m the assassin and you’re my dear to come home to,”

“Come on!” You giggle and punch his chest lightly. You’re startled when he grabs the hand that punched him, lacing his fingers between yours.

“I’m serious, angel,” You lift your head and could feel your breath stutter with the way his gaze bores into yours. “I feel honored to know you’re comfortable with me to tell me you’re fluid,” 

“I didn't want to pry while being so early together, I wanted you to share with me at your own pace,” He smiles. It shines rivals stars in the sky. “Thank you, dearest,” 

He brings your hand and presses a gentle kiss on your knuckles. You held your breath. “I thought… you’d wanted to know that earlier, I worried myself thinking I told you my gender too late,”

“Darling, I fell in love with you and your personality, believe it or not,” He smirks. “Definitely not with what you’re hiding under those baggy trousers-”

“Tangerine!” You fully crumble in a heap of laughter while Tangerine holds you to his chest, also giggling. These are definitely the reasons you fell for him—And to quote the man himself, ‘Definitely not with what he's packing’—The ability to reduce your anxiety and comfort you through it. 

“Thank you,” You reply, finally sober from your laugh. “For accepting me,”

“Of course, my love, every day,” Your smile broadens, and so do Tangerines. He slowly treads his finger behind your head, brushing at your hair and on your nape, and brings you close to press a kiss. You hum against his lips, relishing in the warmth of his hold, worry replaced by relief and your heart floods with love. 

My requests are open!

[decayfromwithin]

Could I have a reality check? If that isn't okay, please disregard this message.

I worry I am starting to have the delusion that we are a lil spiritually/psychically connected, that we may be the same "souls" experiencing similar but different lives. A lot of the things you post I feel like I "get it", and maybe I project my own identity onto you.

This all sounds very narcissistic and egotistical 🤢 But it is comforting. I don't wish to be close, and I wouldn't want to cause you harm. I've followed you for like 6 years, and these thoughts have only been recent.

This doesn't seem right, does it? /Genuine

Im probably not the best person to ask for a "reality cheek" from since i belive reality is individual. But ill try answer this ask regardless.

I think im a very "spiritual" person, i do belive in connections between people that are deeper than "normal connections", and connections that are meant to be. But theres no way for me to know if we have any sort of connection because you are anonymous, i know nothing about you or who you are, or if we have talked before. I have discovered to have deeply spiritual connections to people before though. But thats alwaya been discovered in physical reality, not online. As its also a physical feeling.

I do not belive in souls at all. In my mind there is no way two people can be the same person. There is only me, in my current life. I wish it was different honestly, and i could hope for more. I cant allow myself the comfort of thinking i have or am more than what i currently have. (Unless we are talking about different dimensions , but we share one, and i can only exsist in one dimension at the same time. But all dimensions i exsist in are a part of me and my current reality, not separate and i could not interact with myself from another dimension, just gain consciousness of it and experience them Simultaneously)

Its very normal if you "get" my posts, and relate to me. But before you get delusional about me , maybe talk to me on a personal level first. Because im very complex in ways that cant be precived from just following me and seeing my online content... even if you feel yourself seen or reflected in 100% of what i post online, that would not mean you are me or even similar to me as a person, or that you even understand me in any degree as your preception of me could be horribly off/wrong.

And again, i dont show all of myself online. Im very carefull to keep my most personal information or even traits to myself or close ones to learn about. I also have DID, so this is just a small part me as an antire person in itself. Our life experiences that shape us are completely diffrent too.

If we do have similarities, if youre able to relate to me deeply, or feel we might have a connection, i think thats at most a great opportunity for friendship. Feel free to dm me, id love to talk. If not, thats fine too. If you are concerned youre getting attached to me in an unhealthy way, maybe just block me and walk away. Whatever you think is best.

I don't understand "dont wish to harm you". The only thing that would upset me is trying to claim you are me online or impersonate me. Id also be uncomfortable to me if you tried to copy my behavior, art or style in order to feel closer to me or being me. There is lovely wonder in accepting yourself as your own being and exploring your own self. Being you is the one thing you will always have that can never be lost or taken away. (Well.. only by de*th...) id say you are the most important being in your own life/reality. Just like i am to myself. And you should focus on that and enjoy it while you can.

Youre free to find comfort in me and my content though. I know a lot of people do relate to my posts and find it comforting and it makes me glad to hear. I want to bring comfort to people. Never pain, hurt, fear.

Wish u the best<3

[odetoagirl]

an icarian type of mind

i think i might be manic again, on the up, home alleviates a lot of the personal stress and allows me some reprise that it didnt when i used to live here. it helps me surface from the drowning depression, and makes me feel a little bit more capable. im not sure what it is, a little routine, external discipline, a fridge i dont have to fill and clothes that reappear clean. probably all three. it is a blessing i recognised but never understood like i do now. a pattern i have recognised it that when i return home, my first week or so is merely recovery, taking a breath of air and experiencing waves of relief that exhaust me. the bone deep ache after you put the weight down that you never noticed whilst you held it. the following week, i am inundated with requests for my company, which i schedule accordingly, and perfectly this aligns with a reignited energy and a reintroduction of joy to my mind. i retain my depth and a visible, distinguishing heaviness, but it is accompanied now by a particular lightness to accompany it, a little healed, a person capable of musing and amusing. icarus, free from prison, has shaken off the sea spray weighing him down, and now begins, joyfully, spectacularly to rise. slowly (rapidly), does this escalate into a nuclear whimsy, which might hope to infinitely fuel itself. extroversion becomes gregarious charm, a kiss from the gods, infinite things to say and think and ask and wonder. attentive, observant, infinitely observant, numb to fatigue. a sense of mythology creeps into the ego and i find myself inspired, energised and in love with the world; the thoughts never leave me but i feel a little bravery, which is infinite to the consuming cowardice of the month before, and i can turn from the darkness that had consumed me, and believe i might be able to overcome it or that it might never touch me again. every time it feels true, this time i wont fall back, i feel the love and joy and excitement of life, everything around me is eclectic and electric, i feel the vibrations of everything, and do anything i wish. everyone is an opportunity, and people feel so simple and interconnected. everything is an opportunity. it is a funny thing to know of your own bipolarity, because i know, in one mind that this is the infinite cycle i am trapped in, to bask in the glow of the sun and burn up, to hit the water and start to drown, but i do not know it at all. i cannot unconvince myself each and every time that this is the time it lasts, i feel it in my bones, it aches as the truth does, the hope is maybe as debilitating as the feeling itself.

maybe i dont mind living in extremes, perhaps it was what i was born to do. nothing about me is in moderation, anything that appears so is merely the illusion of two simultaneous opposites. it feels perhaps like the realest way to live, to touch the tip of both ends, what experience might i find in the middle that could not be found more intense at either end. i feel like i touch things few people see. the insight is worth the unrest, the karmic turbulence. when the gods are not kissing me, they leave me to grapple with my own mortality. would i consider bipolar desperate existential depression the side effect of the delights i am granted within hypomania? perhaps - the universe within me must too abide by the newtonian laws. i think about this and grit my teeth as i approach the sun, inevitabley, already preparing for the impact of the water. instead i should forget it all and just enjoy the glow of warmth and maintain my childlike faith; i will become the sun, and the planets with revolve around me.

see similar patterns elsewhere; eating, sleeping,

im am trying whilst writing this to seem normal and rational instead of grandiose and arrogant and illusionary. i know i fail, i know as i progress it emerges in leaps and bounds. i dont actually know where though, i can feel it but not identify it, i cant remove it, and i dont know how to tell you anything in any other way.

[wanderinstar]

🎅 santa loves yes. sorry for taking a while with this ask! i will try to make up for it! i have never heard of rare bird but thank you for the recommendation!

yes is one of the bands i am most into at the present moment, with the other one being the buggles, which is a pretty painful experience because a buggles fanbase is near nonexistent and legitimately half of their discography is not even on spotify. whatever.

im not sure if i would be able to tell you anything you dont already know about yes, but one of my favorite yes moments, top of the line, was when jon composed the second verse of owner of a lonely heart and that pissed off trevor(horn) because his own lyrics were replaced, so after the eagle in the sky bit in the song he actually just added a gun shooting jons eagle from the sky😭

how did you become a classic rock enthusiast? you can be as lengthy as you want with this answer, i want to hear it all. i LIKE to hear it all.

No problem, Santa!

So you do know Yes, I knew it! My intuition is on point lately haha! Can you believe I didn't know about this Yes story? Or at least I don't remember. It's hilarious, thank you for sharing it with me, it made me laugh! I'm curious, how did you discover them? Have you been a fan for a long time?

Dear Santa, I understand what you mean with "painful experience" in relation to the Buggles fanbase. It's the same with Rare Bird actually, I'm so sorry! Unfortunately they don't receive enough love 💔 btw I can't wait to hear your impressions on Rare Bird, I really hope you like it, but if you don't, it's totally fine. And you can take your time, no pressure ;)

And now I'm feeling free to complain a little about spotify as well hehehe. I could never adapt to music streaming platforms for many reasons, but not having some stuff in there is one of them. But I do enjoy seeing people's spotify wrapped, even though I don't use it. What was your top song this year, if you don't mind sharing?

As for your question, it's a bit hard to say when exactly it happened... my dad loves music, and I grew up listening to a lot of classic rock tunes. But I've only really started listening to it on my own as a grown up! I think it's possible to say that finding Yes a couple years ago triggered it in me. When I first heard them, I couldn't believe my dad had never played it for us before (I was simply sure he knew them just because!). Then I started digging and rediscovered bands and songs, and ended up expanding in a way that I introduce some stuff to him as well, as he still introduces rock songs to me. And it's a lot of fun!

Now I'm glad liking this kind of music is giving me the opportunity to befriend you :) I would love to hear your story as well if you feel like sharing. I'm afraid I might be asking too many questions so I'm gonna stop here 😆

[roomwithanopenfire]

im gonna yap here for a moment i hope you dont mind

i dont know if you've read rebel robin, but theres this one part where robin finds nancy in the movie theater bathroom and shes really upset and she asks her whats wrong and stuff. and robin takes note on how it isnt a "steve related issue" and im gonna put that part in my fic because like.. i have reasons.

i literally love the werewolf!nancy idea so much because like she has a reason to be even more upset and i can write more nancy angst than i already have. this is like a great opportunity to work on different parts of writing , its like an experiment?

im just so excited to write more and stuff i cant💥💥 ugh sorry🙁

Oh never apologize when you're sending me a super long ask! This is perfect, I love hearing about your ideas. Allow me to rant about it more before the cut 😭😭

I haven't ever read Rebel Robin, but I know a bit about it (mainly that Robin and Barb used to be friends lol). That scene sounds very good and angsty.

I just love the idea of werewolf Nancy for many reasons. Idk how you're planning on doing the werewolfness, like if it's the more traditional full moon transformation or if its more like the teen wolf version lol, but for Nancy who likes to have control, it would be the perfect way to break her down, to be violent without her control over it.

Ooooh this concept is so good, feel free to rant to me about it whenever you want aksfjd

[relaxxattack]

hey, so i still havent read knifetrick yet, but i saw the post you reblogged about it being about capitalism's treatment of disabled people. im aware that this is just one interpretation of your work, but did you consciously make decisions about what messages to send within your story? did you purposefully include imagery or motifs or references or anything else to create a particular theme or idea?

im wondering because im making my own story, and im curious about what others put into theirs. i have a few key ideas i want to send with it, so i'm trying to tie all my characters and their arcs and the symbols and everything in my story to it. my brand of autism tends towards the "everything MUST have a logic to it!" and this is an obvious influence on it, but i still also think it's worth putting a lot of thought into it because theyre ideas i really care about. i want curious readers to be able to look into my story and see how it all ties together, and i want to impart messages of compassion onto my general audience as well. i think that all art has messages within it, whether personal or otherwise, and by being aware of what those are you can create a stronger and more cohesive story. at least thematically. if that is what someone wants to do, of course.

i know knifetrick is a story you started for fun. there is absolutely value in that (in your own joy) and i dont think art without intentional purposes or messages is inferior in any way. but did you ever get an idea for an overarching message in your mind, and implement it? its cool if you didnt, or if you did but dont want to say what it is too btw lol. im kinda just looking for the experience & thoughts another author had with their own thing. (i am very nervous sending this ask. i hope i dont sound like im jumping the gun.)

do not feel bad for asking this question, i'm always down to talk about my written works, even if it takes me a bit to collect my thoughts and figure out a response. yes, the truth is i went into knifetrick from the start with a lesson/moral i wanted to explore and teach. a fun fact about me is that i have several younger siblings, who are often being taught things i personally don't agree with. having conversations with them about what is really "right" or "moral" is awkward and not really doable. but stories and characters have always been a good and safe way for us to have this discussion-- why did this character do that thing, what makes this bad guy bad, and so on. this is why with writing i don't just like to tell a story, but i also like to teach a lesson. as patronizing as that sounds, i kind of just think it's pleasing when stories have a good moral behind them. although they don't need to for me to enjoy them. but back to the actual topic, yes. i did intentionally choose to explore the idea of capitalism's failure of certain groups of people in my story. that is what the main plot is actually wrapped around-- there's the obvious struggle with the main character, ran. he is physically and mentally disabled, he is treated differently than his peers. in a way he is fed from a young age the idea that the only way he can be considered equal to everyone else is to have a use to other people; to be the hardest working member of the order. his society encourages this worldview so that they can take advantage of him, but they don't actually care about him at all. they would discard him if he stopped being useful to them. the second example of this is the other main character, jackie. jackie's society also failed to take care of him-- he was orphaned, and then immediately lacked a support system of any kind, personal or governmental. he turned to a life of crime to make ends meet and repress his emotions, but all that did was eventually make his severe depression worse and manifest itself in a lot of anger issues and lashing out. by the time ran meets jackie, he's attempting to turn over a new leaf and take this opportunity he's been given to make an honest living; jackie cares a great deal about the people around him. the missing children are failed by society in the fact that they go missing in the first place, and nobody has bothered to try and find them (although the blame for that rests mainly on watson's shoulders, seeing as he tricked the king into thinking that was being solved). scoots and clem are failed by society as well- scoots is denied the job she actually wants to have due to her disability, and they are very poor. obviously this is made worse when clem goes missing, and since no one else is doing anything, scoots stops working to look for her sister. possibly the most obvious examples i can think of are maia snail and laggius maximus. maia's children are both autistic, with one of the two showing much more severe symptoms than the other. she's dealt with this in the way she best can as a mother, which is give them things they can comfortably work on to get their energy out and be helpful without having to do anything they don't like. society fails them as well, in that laggius is killed in the pit. but the more important part of their story is something snail tells ran: "i would have loved my brother even if he was never useful a day in his life, because he deserves it". essentially all throughout knifetrick, especially through ran, we are shown this idea of usefulness as equivalent to worth; i.e. how capitalism teaches us to view ourselves. we are shown how faulty of a system that is through the various characters. eventually ran realizes that he does not actually have to do anything useful to be worthy of existence, comfort, or love, and that is the sort of “end moral” of the narrative. ran ditches the council, showing that he knows his own worth and refuses to be tied to people who only ever hurt him, and then jackie helps the king start to reform subbin’s systems so that less people will fall through the cracks as he did.

so yes, that is essentially how i explored the idea of capitalism failing disabled people through knifetrick. there’s likely more stuff that i forgot but that’s what i remember off my head right now. anything anyone else sees in knifetrick about this topic is probably fair as well, death of the author and all that. this is what i intended while writing but other people might have seen more things in other characters that i didn’t think of too hard.

i hope that helps.

(bonus: firefox completely froze while i was at the end of this ask and made me fear for my fucking life. it took so much waiting and minimizing the program before i could safely save this to my drafts and then close firefox. terrifying.)

[opalesense]

srry if this message is long af but omg i JUST found your blog and just finished obsessively reading through all of your works.. not only do you seem so sweet but i am also SO in love with your writing already 🥺💕 so i do actually have a small, kinda silly request if you dont mind... i have a massive crush on kaeya, and your take on a dom kaeya (in "you asked for it" and "dinners at diluc's") had me SHOOK - it's so perfect 😫. So my request is, like... how would kaeya react to a sub s/o who turns out to be very into bdsm but has absolutely 0 experience. Like never been kissed but would kill to be tied up kinda thing LOL. Oh and if you'd like you can include other boys too ofc! But yea no worries if this request doesnt vibe with you just wanted to say you are awesome and have a gr8 day 💕

a funny secret

kaeya & gn!reader (NSFW)

899 words • ~5 min. read

summary: after having a little too much to drink, kaeya coerces a secret out of you that he didn’t expect at all.

warnings: bondage mention

notes: AWW don’t worry about the long message because i loved every single word, seriously!! T^T thanks for the request and for dedicating so much time to my fics omg i bet it must’ve taken awhile to get through my entire blog... anyway i wrote this in headcanon-ish style because i don’t feel like writing in so much detail, i hope that’s okay!!

KAEYA KNOWS ALL TOO WELL of your inexperience with intimacy. when you were first starting to get more affectionate with him, he noticed the way you got so easily flustered by the smallest things and how you quivered in nervousness whenever he offered you a hug. he finds it very amusing that someone usually so composed can break under his slight touch.

the most you’ve ever done with him is give him hugs or hold his hand. if you didn’t express that you wanted more, he wouldn’t force you to do more. but sooner or later, that will change – though, not in the way he expected.

when the two of you decide to spend an evening at the tavern, you somehow end up with a few drinks too many. kaeya watches with a smirk as you start to slur your words, curiously wondering what information he could get out of you in this drunken state.

as he recounts a story of a criminal he interrogated the other day, he notices you giggling like a maniac, completely distracted from what he was talking about. even though he found your laughter adorable, it interrupted his flow of the story. “what’s so funny, sweetheart? this guy was a thief!”

“sorry, sorry! i was just thinking... do you... do you wanna know a funny secret?” you grinned at him. oh yes, he liked where this was going.

“enlighten me.”

“i would... maybe i shouldn’t say this,” you giggled and hid your face as you looked down, ashamed of the thought. he chuckled as he tucked your hair behind your ear then held your chin between his fingers, lifting your head up to look at him.

“go on,” he patiently watched as a blush crept onto your face. he was going to get this secret out of you, one way or another. it was the perfect opportunity! you were dizzily drunk in his grasp and completely flustered.

“i would... i would kill to be tied up by you like how you tied up that thief...” you whispered only loud enough so kaeya could barely hear you over the rowdy atmosphere of the tavern.

now kaeya was a bit flustered. he didn’t expect you to say that at all but he wasn’t complaining. he let go of your chin to place a hand on your thigh, gently caressing it and watching your nervous reactions closely. “what would you want me to do to you while you’re tied up, hm?”

“w-we’re in public,” you shyly diverted your gaze to your drink, taking another sip. “i don’t think i should say...”

“then how about we head to my place so you can tell me?” he teased, his hand slowly creeping towards your inner thigh as he leaned forward to kiss your cheek. you internally screamed at how touchy he was being, but that’s exactly how he wanted to make you feel. “you don’t have to kill to make your wishes come true, darling.”

the two of you hurry back, butterflies violently fluttering in your stomach while he held your hand so innocently, as if he wasn’t fantasizing about all the things he could do to you tonight the second you set foot in his home.

his hands immediately find their place on your waist after he locks his front door behind him. he looks down at you with a hungry gaze, his fingers toying with the fabric of your clothes. “what exactly were you thinking about that you couldn’t tell me at the tavern, hm?”

“i’ve always thought about what it’s like to be tied up... by you...” your voice trailed as he slowly lifted your shirt enough to place his gloved hands on your bare skin.

“mmhm,” he began to rub circles onto your skin with his thumbs. the feeling of being touched so intimately by him when the peak of your romantic experience was holding his hand or hugging him made your mind draw blanks. you were malfunctioning under his hands. “what else, darling?”

“i... i...”

“use your words, darling. what would you want me to do after i tie you up?”

“then i want... i want you to do whatever you want to me...”

“ohh,” he teased to make it seem like the dots were finally connecting. “let me get this straight...”

one hand trailed up your back, still trapped under your shirt. he used this leverage to lean closer to you, pulling your body towards his as he slowly muttered in your ear. “so you want me to tie you up, fuck you ‘til you’re senseless, and make you cum over and over again until you scream for me to stop? you want me to leave bruises and marks that will let everyone know you’re not as innocent as you seem?”

you couldn’t do anything but helplessly nod and whimper as he started to kiss your jawline, trailing kisses down to your neck. “you want me to make you my sweet little toy, don’t you? what a funny secret that is, indeed...”

“k-kaeya...” his name was the only thing on your mind right now as he smiled between kisses, loving the way you curled up in his arms so sweetly.

“fortunately for you, i keep some bundles of rope here in case we run out at the headquarters so... how about we give you what you want tonight, hm?”

[hoodhookage]

Congrats on 200+!!!! Ive only just seen your page and i am instantly in love with your writing 😢😢🙏 feel free to ignore this but could you do a scenario about xiao giving is super shy fem s/o oral for the first time. Just some fluffy reassurance is all that we need. If you dont feel comfortable tho i completely understand. Hope you have a fantastic rest of your day 🤗🤗

thank you so much💗 I COULD NEVER PASS UP THIS SORT OF OPPORTUNITY! i’m so grateful you wanted me to even attempt to try this out for you<3 i hope it’s not too long & that i met your expectations!! here’s xiao eating out his so for the first time

xiao let’s his fingers run through your hair, gentle eyes focused on you as you lay beside him fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. you close your eyes when he lifts his hand now to your jaw, stroking your cheek. his touch is soft, instinctively allowing yourself to melt into his caress. xiao is many things; he’s everything you want him to be. he’s willing to make you happy and comfortable, going far lengths to achieve it.

he’s understanding and caring, in the sense that he’s always keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re never in any sort of discomfort. xiao is loving. physical or not, you always feel so appreciated by him. he does little things to make you happy, you remember how he likes to squeeze your thumb with his when you hold his hand. you both have come so far with one another, growing with every passing day.

xiao loves you in every way imaginable, getting frustrated with himself when he can’t truly show you what you mean to him when his words alone fail him. he wants you to be happy, to tell you he values your company, just being able to be with you. he appreciates you and wants to be able to take care of you the way you do for him, feeling as if he’s entirely at your mercy for the way you’ve patched that sense of longing he once felt on his own. all of that now washed away completely when you’ve brought yourself into the picture.

his presence alone makes you feel so jittery, no matter how serene or still the atmosphere may be. he’s gentle, and warm…so warm you sometimes feel as if you’re burning up at his touch, no matter how light it is. you find yourself drawn quiet even while with xiao next to you, letting your mind entertain frivolous possibilities revolving the both of you. what he makes you feel is a mix of apprehensiveness and exhilaration, just with his face leaning in to your forehead close to place a kiss.

the faint breeze from the window lingers inside and you welcome it with a deep inhale, letting it bring you back to your place between xiao and his bed. your exhale quickly allows itself to take over you, shuddering in reaction to the coolness continuously hitting your skin all over. xiao rests his lips against your forehead, another small and delicate show of affection. “you’re getting cold” responding with a sigh to how he acknowledges your change in body temperature before turning over to face him and let your chest rest against his.

even the air xiao expires so softly across you from the closeness of the both of you is warm. his chest is warm, the arms that keep you close are warm, he’s already letting you get lost in this feeling of heat he provides you with. “xiao” your face is in his shoulder when you call him, snuggling closer. he whispers your name back and begins to hold you closer “what is it?”

you try to conceal the small shake in your voice. “you make me feel really, really, warm when we’re like this”

you mumble, already wanting to hide the show of emotions he makes you feel inside so unexpectedly just from the call of your name. you breathe in, smelling xiao and his clothes as one together. “are you saying that like it’s a good thing?” he rubs delicate circles on your back, holding you with care. you nod and push your face closer into his chest almost like a final attempt to breathe him in again, he overwhelms your physical senses this way.

he pulls you back, a stern look on his face as you look up at him. “you’re nearly freezing” xiao rolls his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips as he brings his hand to your jaw to give you a small kiss. he breaks it but stays just inches away from your lips, giving you a teasing remark when you just stare at his mouth. xiao does a lot of things to you…and right now, whatever it is he’s doing to you to make you feel like this, it has you hot all over again:

this burning sensation reaching all the way into your chest and stomach, impossible to avoid. he takes you close and into another kiss as you pout, this time longer than the first. you close your eyes and let him take charge, your cheeks beginning to feel that same sensation that spread through your body when he slowly slides his tongue inside. you cup his face, gasping when he gives you a playful bite to your bottom lip before tugging on it.

“i can’t stand it when you lie to me, here” he begins to remove his arms from the sleeves and slides his hoodie off from above, his shirt getting caught with it momentarily. it’s hard to look away when you can see the bare skin of his abdomen, making you grow a little desperate for his touch. xiao motions for you to lift your arms up and you do as he asks, putting your head through to now properly wear it.

you turn your head to the side and look down at your hands, “thanks” all of these different kinds of warmths feel good when they’re from xiao. you start to wonder if he’s ever experienced this same kind of feeling. you both have that look in your eyes that tells the other you want more, stuck as if there’s no possible way to convey it aloud. all those thoughts leave your mind as soon as he pulls you in for another kiss.

you tremble into his mouth when his hand rests at your hip, giving an experimental grab as you pant and try to kiss him back just as needfully. “xiao, i think what i meant to say, from before. it was just-“ you interrupt the silence but he shushes you. “you’re alright,” he gives you a tiny kiss at your bottom lip. you think you understand now, “…you want me to take care of you, i can do that for you” stopping between sentences to give you more, this time across your face and jaw. “-but will you let me?”

he does experience that same feeling, your heart is beating twice as fast. “please”

xiao treats you with the same amount of gentleness as always, starting by taking a pillow from under his head and propping it beneath your lower back. he looks at you, “i want to try something for you- and i as well” his hand moving to lace yours. “i’ll always ask this of you, do you trust me?” you nod and let out a shaky yes. he begins after hearing your approval “alright, show me exactly where you want me the most”

you feel your body quiver as he trails his hand across your stomach, your fingers guiding his palm. you feel embarrassed when you have to stop, recollecting yourself as he looks at you. “you pleaded for me to take good care of you. i promise i want nothing more than to be able to” he reassures you. you continue until you reach your abdomen, xiao’s hand slides down a little further on his own now. “good” he sighs, getting worked up himself.

“ remove this for me” he murmurs referring to your clothes, tone still sweet when speaking with you. you start with the bottoms, pulling them down off your legs. you keep your panties on, knowing xiao will be happy to do the honours of stripping those off you himself. you hold onto the hoodie “xiao, i want to keep this on” you whisper. he would never deny you anything, but hearing you ask to keep something of his on during a moment like this has his chest swell with pride.

xiao’s hand rests at the hem of your panties, letting his middle and ring finger stretch out just a little further onto the material that starts to dampen the farther you reach. “to think you would want to let me leave you in this state” he almost whispers to himself. he lets his hand dip into your underwear, his fingers immediately met with how wet you’ve become. “your body knows exactly who it’s with right now and i can already tell” he marvels in the little to no friction his finger tips experience as he slides hands over your cunt.

“close your eyes, just let me” he strokes your hair again as he lets his finger trail around your entrance. you gasp at the feeling but it’s slow, allowing you to await and prepare for the feeling of when he enters. the push is perfect, your soaking cunt pulls his finger in with no resistance. he praises you again for how you take it, letting you relax under his touch once more. xiao pulls his finger out back to your entrance, rubbing at your clit with two of them. the contact making you squirm as he lifts his hand.

he brings his finger up to both of you before opening his mouth to clean it off. he can’t help himself when it comes to you, always wanting a little more. you feel yourself pool even harder between your legs at his action. he holds his finger out to you, “would you want to try yourself?” opening your mouth to meet him. you can still taste yourself on that finger, it’s tarte even after xiao had licked most of it off.

“do you still want to follow through with what i had in mind this time for us” he rasps. he’s only ever fingered you, and the thought of letting him try whatever it is he wanted to right now makes you feel weak. your knees instinctively press together as he waits for your answer, “you want to go…further?” your voice is unsure but still with excitement in your tone. he wants to go as far as you’ll let him, indulge you in whatever it is you want from him right now. but he has to start slow, somewhere. it’s progress.

he wants to ask again to reassure you but you’re past that, kissing him as you’re caught in a tiny adrenaline run he’s been unaware he was fuelling this whole time. all this time he’s been feeding into the fire, but this was a tiny bit of gasoline, and it’s beginning to spread. you know it’ll wear down once he begins again but you want to ride it out as long as possible.

he’s always happy when you are, but now was your turn to embarrass xiao, catching him off guard. “can we?” you try to sit up but he keeps you in place, laying you down. “as long as you want this as much as i do” he gets up from beside you, knees against yours as he holds your thighs. his hands look so much bigger from where he’s moved now, you give him another nod and he holds your panties to finally remove them.

you’re back in your original place; being naked from the bottom down right infront of xiao makes you feel unnerved. you let him slowly spread your legs as he continues to hold eye contact with you to keep you calm. he looks more enamoured by your cunt now than ever, situating himself so that his face is right above your clit, arms weighted on your thighs.

his hands come to lock yours on your sides as his you feel his hot breath, making you clench on the air. “relax, close your eyes if you need to, but i’m right here…exactly where you need me” you let your eyes close before your lips part at the feeling of xiao’s tongue swipe across you. it makes you shiver, his tongue feels long and warm, almost a bit pointy. wet like the rest of his mouth, you’re already gasping again at the feeling.

you bring your head up to look at him, xiao has his tongue running along your folds ever so slowly, eyes never leaving yours. you let the back of your head hit the pillows again as you let out a cry, his tongue is hot when it circles around your entrance. you pull the hoodie up on you in an attempt to hold your thoughts together, only to breathe in and be reminded of who’s conquering every piece of your mind, xiao. you grip his hands a little tighter while you buck into his mouth.

allowing yourself to succumb to him has you thrashing when he sucks on your clit. how he prods his tongue towards your hole to make you squirm. xiao is slowly beginning to devour you; lapping, licking, sucking, darting his tongue onto you. he lets go of one of your hands and lets a finger slide in, “i know what your body can handle, and right now it’s beginning to ask for more. i promise to only give what i know you can take” focusing his concentration and movements back on your clit.

cries and whimpers of his name fill and go beyond his room, letting yourself continue to get lost in the pleasure xiao is bringing you so intensely. the curling of his finger now turning into pumping, his mouth never leaving your messy cunt. “good, it’s really good xiao” you whine, gripping his hair as he moans into you. “i cant-“ you thrash at the feeling of him pull at your clit. “you’re perfect like this right now, finally experiencing the sort of pleasure you always bring me” he leans back down, rocking you against his mouth.

every single shock he manages to send through you has you enjoying it more than the last. it feels good, how he constantly lets you know he’ll give you what’s good for you within your limits. you feel your body course with the kind of build up that has you struggling to stay still, the kind xiao knows how to give you regularly just in other ways. this one is far more intense than the last.

you let out a broken moan of his name, trying to find the words to tell him. you properly call out his name and he looks up at you, both his hair and mouth messy from how you held onto him. “i’m going to cum” you squeak, feeling his fingers rub your gspot. your body cant hang on any longer, as if you’re on the edge. “cum for me, right here against me. i’ve got you” you shake your head furiously.

your back arches off the bed and against xiao, whos still giving you every kind of sensation imaginable and all at once. he feels you squeeze his fingers, convulsing against his mouth.

your back hits the bed as your legs still shake around his head, in complete shock at what he was able to bring you. he can feel you still pulse against his mouth and he slowly pulls off. you both stay still as he lets you calm down. he stares at you in awe, panting from his actions.

he moves back to his side on the bed and embraces you, feeling your body go limp against his. his chin rests on the top of your head as he pulls you into the covers properly. you let his forehead lean onto yours as you move away and cup his cheek, catching xiao shyly turn his gaze away.

you’re right. xiao loves you in every way imaginable, willing to go far lengths to prove it.

frustrated when even he himself has trouble to explain how he feels in just words.

a feeling that he can only describe as gentle and warm…warm enough to feel as if he’s burning up at your touch. no matter how light.

just like he does to you.

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

I have a request for a smut for Mitch Rapp and a fem!reader: basically enemies to lovers. They (think they) hate each other but in reality they just REALLY wanna shag each other (Stan kinda suspects it). The seggssual tension between them grew to the point where neither can take it anymore and they shag! That's it for the plot. Feel free to make it the filthiest piece of filth that has ever seen the filth of day. They can punch the other, kick the other, pull the others hair! I am a okay with either of them getting staped. Biting and scratching are on the table. They can use fire... I hope you can turn this to a smut for me. I really enjoy reading your smuts!

also:

pairing: mitch rapp x fem!reader

warnings: smut → seggsual tension that can be cut with a knife, oral (male receiving), degrading kink, rough penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it).

word count: 1.4k

a/n: ahh omg i love the b9-9 reference!!

+ i've added this other request here too bc they had the same vibe to it - hope that's okay anon!

++ also [y/l/n] means your last name (but i think we've all read fanfics long enough to know that lmao)

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

requests for the sleepover are open🖤!

request guidelines here✨!

smut night masterlist

🌻masterlist🌻

taking in Mitch’s attire for the first time that night, it was apparent to you that Mitch was quite the attractive man.

But Mitch rapp was anything but attractive. He was repulsive. Rude. Had nearly gotten you killed so many times on a mission due to his inability to stick to plans, especially if they were made by you.

His tie hangs lose around the white collared button down shirt. His blazer thrown onto the couch that he planned to sleep on. Stan suggested that you share a room, never knowing nor predicting when the bad guys could attack. It was better, and safer, for the two of you to stay together.

Slipping the tie from around his neck, he throws it to wear his blazer lays, his eyes darting up to you. You, sitting cross-legged on the bed, quickly averted eye contact. You hear a slight huff of amusement coming from him, which only makes you roll your eyes. God, what you would do to share a room with literally anyone but him.

Your pj shirt hung low on your chest - almost a little bit too low. Mitch, for only a second, glances at your cleavage. His mind wanders into places he’s never really though that hard about before. He wanders what it would be like to suck those perfect tits of yours. If it wasn’t for the tv, he would’ve made an awkward coughing sound to release some of the built up tension in the room. You can feel the tension too. Building and building. The room getting hotter with each breath you took. You stand from the bed, going over to the small tea station to turn on the kettle.

“Want some tea?” You ask, not daring to look at him. For some unknown reason, you’re afraid to.

“sit.” He demands, his eyes glaring into you with such intensity. You return the glare, clenching your jaw as he nods to the bed.

“Why?”

“We need to talk about what happened today-"

“We have nothing to talk about. You did your usual shit and I did mine.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Like what? At least I’m not the one trying to get us all killed,” you spat, folding your arms over your chest. Mitch stalks over to you, his eyes dark with lust.

“Say that again. I dare you,” his voice is so low, you’re not sure if it scares you or turns you on.

“You always try to get us killed. That’s why your plans never work." you try so hard not to falter your voice, but he’s making it so difficult when he’s standing in front of you, with such a dominant demeanour, you thought you might as well submit to him now. He knocks your legs apart with his knee.

“Same could be said about you. Just remember that,” he growls in your ear. Without thinking, you grab him by the collar and thrash him down on the bed beside you. You stable him, pinning his wrists beside his head.

“Now, miss feisty. Might want to save your energy for tomorrow,” he chuckles, not even the least surprised that you’ve just done that.

“Don’t patronise me, rapp. You’re lucky I don’t just kill you now,” you purr in his ear, feeling his hips knock against yours. The feeling of his hardening cock poking at your thigh is something you’d never thought you’d ever get to experience with him.

Mitch flips you over, you know the grip on your wrist is going to bruise. "don't forget that i'm just as capable, darling."

roughly, he pushes off you, unzipping the pants of his suit. His jaw clenched, skin so hot and heated you can see the veins protruding through his hands.

"suck." he demands through gritted teeth. Your jaw drops as you just stare at him. he couldn't be serious? His eyebrows raise in anticipation - the same look he gives our targets when they try and plead their case to let them live.

You sigh, pushing yourself off the bed and onto the floor. Your hand pumps his cock up and down slowly, wanting to test the waters a little bit - or so you told yourself.

"[y/n], dont." he spits out, roughly gripping your hair in a makeshift ponytail. Without needing to be told twice, you take him in your mouth, gagging as he thrusts into your mouth. he couldn't even for a second let you be in control. typical man.

You bob your head faster, moaning around him at the tight grip he still has in your hair.

"you like when im rough with you, huh? you dirty little slut." His jaw clenches as you clasp your hand around his wrist. "get up."

you do as you're told, and stand on your feet. Roughly and hasty, he practically rips your pjs off before pushing you on the bed.

"don't make me get the tie, [y/l/n]," he smirks as he hovers over you. You gulp and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a rough kiss. He may be on top, but you can still be in charge.

HIs hand snakes down between your bodies, teasing and toying at your clit. He pinches it gently, clenching his jaw to restrain a dark laugh as you breathe heavily against him, not wanting to make a sound. you were not about to give him that satisfaction.

his calloused fingertips circle heavenly around your clit. He wants you to at least let out one moan, and he was going to make you do it - whatever it takes.

He leans back, eyes burning into your soul as he watches you. You bite your tongue from within your mouth, restraining every ounce of your body to not contort in pleasure.

"i could make this easy for you, you know. you're choice," he arches an eyebrow in amusement, his finger slipping into your entrance with such ease.

"oh please," you scoff, rolling your eyes in annoyance - although you're sure it was from the pleasure rather than his haughtiness.

"fine," he practically rips his hand away, you bottom lip immediately receding into your teeth to control the whines that wanted to come out. He wasted no time in lining himself up at your entrance. You look at him with pleading eyes, to which he catches before he slides in.

His thrusts are slow at first, wanting to tease you as much as possible.

"oh come on. even i can do better than that," you challenge, pushing him off before straddling his hips. You sink down on him, his hands on your ass. He kneads them before slapping hard as you bottom out. An unexpected yelp slips from you, followed a dark chuckle comes from him.

You bounce roughly on him, leaning back on your hands as they rest on his thighs. His hands trail all over your body, wanting to explore very inch possible. He'd never admit it, to himself or especially you, but he's always wanted to do this. So of course, he's not wasting any opportunity. as far as you've both silently agreed, this is a one time thing.

Mitch slaps your breast, causing another yelp to escape from your swollen and desperate lips. You sink all the way down on his cock until he's completely inside you, before gyrating your hips. Both of you moan loudly, the pleasure feeling all too right to not let out a sound.

Roughly, mitch picks you up and places you on the bed next to him before he holds your legs up to his chest. He thrusts into you and fucks you hard - slow, but hard.

"fuck, oh my god," you give in to the pleasure, his cock feeling all too good not to.

"see, that wasn't so hard was it?" Mitch's malicious teasing causes you to roll your eyes but once again let out a moan. the wall takes it from the bedframe, thumping intensively with each hard thrust of his hips. Both of you couldn't control your moans, and it was only a matter of time before the next door guests came knocking on the door to complain.

The two of you are close - much closer than either of you liked to be. Mitch knew it too, from the way you clenched around his cock, you moans becoming louder and more high-pitched. He spreads your legs apart, which you gracelessly wrapped around his waist to draw him in closer. His hand, once again slips between you both and rubs your clit in circles.

"mitch..." you breathe, scratching your nails mercilessly down his back.

"let it go, babygirl," he grunts before leaning down towards you ear. "at least i'll have the satisfaction of making you cum."

"don't get too cocky now. I'm still not finished with you yet."

[fairycosmos]

hey sorry if this is weird but I wanted some advice regarding having sex for the first time,, there’s a likely chance I may be having sex with a guy I like at some point before the month ends and the anxiety of not knowing what I’m doing and being hesitant is rlly throwing me off. I know for sure I’m ready but the performance element is rlly doing me in :/ fyi I’ve not kissed anyone before or been intimate in any way so that definitely adds to it ._.

hiii love well this is just my input so feel free to discard it if u dont vibe with it, but a few things came to mind while i was reading this that i wanted to expand on. the first is like, i hope you know that if you're not ready then you don't have to do it just because there's this expectation/projected time frame for it to happen before the end of the month. what i mean by that is, if you've never experienced physical intimacy before then it's completely normal to be overwhelmed and to not know where to start. and it's ALSO completely normal to want to "build up" to having sex rather than jumping right into it just because the opportunity has arisen. you know? it's alright if you're not "there" with the idea yet, it's natural. you do not have to push yourself into anything to impress this dude, or to feel better about yourself in any way. take ur time. and that's me speaking from unfortunate experience, trust me, it's nottt worth it if you're not 100% feeling it!

however, if that's not the case and you feel genuinely safe and happy with the guy, and with the idea of having sex with him, then here's a few pointers.

1. obviously - practice safe sex, use protection and make sure everything you are doing (and experiencing) is 100% consensual from both ends. lube and basic foreplay can help in terms of slight discomfort, and it's alright to ask for both. know that a lot of pain is not usually normal and it shouldn't be overall physically agonizing by any means. 

2. accept that while the feeling of it being a "performance" is very common for women, it is not healthy, nor is it true. it's a learned mentality that is the result of years of being influenced by porn and misogyny, directly or otherwise, and that is its only basis. one of the main ways to combat it is to consciously work at seeing yourself as more than an object by dismantling the "male gaze" in ur own mind, often through therapy and active self-help/rejection of these internalized thinking patterns, but obviously that can take years to really master. ultimately, remind yourself often that sex is an experience shared between two people, not an act you're putting on, not something that is "done" to women. it's usually some variation of awkward, imperfect, funny and ungraceful and that's what makes it real. if neither of you are ready for it to be like that, then it's totally ok to wait until you're a little more comfortable in your own skin before pursuing things further, for the sake of your own mental and physical health. you're not a sex doll or a porn star, and you won't act like you are either, which is something that both ppl need to truly understand and be okay with (because it's completely normal and just like, how reality is lol but i digress.)

3. communicate honestly and openly. i really can't impress the importance of this one enough, like. consistent communication throughout is sooo vital. discuss consent and boundaries beforehand, and during. go through your own boundaries with yourself, too, if needs be. with him, you need to feel comfortable telling each other in the moment what feels right, what doesn't, guiding each other, saying no to anything that makes you uncomfortable or that hurts etc - listening closely goes along way too. basically, you don't have to treat sex like you're putting on a show, or like it's a skill to be improved upon. it's more about making each other feel good, making each other feel heard and experiencing connection with this guy in a new way because you really like and care about him, and he really likes and cares about you.

if you don't feel like it's going to pan out like that for whatever reason, then it's ok to halt the process and take a step back. also, i'm sure you know this but it's also alright for either one of u to revoke consent at any point in the whole experience. i'm talking, you could be right in the middle of it, and if you're not into it - you can and should stop. there's no need to go through with it out of a sense of obligation, and if you think you're susceptible to that happening, again i think it'd be best for you to re-evaluate for now whether this is a position you're emotionally ready to be in. because the aftermath of that sort of thing is very needlessly painful, and can be potentially traumatic. anyway, i think i've rambled enough lmfao whatever happens - i hope you take care of yourself, and take things as slow as you need, there's truly no rush and no harm in doing what's best for you, whatever that looks like. have a good day b <3

[thefanficmonster]

Sweet Tooth

Corpse Husband x Asian Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tooth-rotting (😉) Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse isn’t one to have a big preference or craving for sweet, sugary treats. In fact, he’d even go as far as to say he’s not at all a fan of candy. Well, much to his yet to be known delight, his partner Y/N takes that as a personal challenge.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request! So sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it despite the long time that’s passed. If you do, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤ 

“Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!“ Y/N gives the camera a wave and blows it a quick kiss with their lips stretched in a delighted grin. They clap their hands together, turning to look at their guest who’s sitting in a chair on their right, his face covered with a sticker in the final cut of the video that their viewers have the opportunity of watching. “Ok, before we address the elephant in the room, I’m gonna ask the elephant himself not to move his head too much cause this is already gonna take a long time to edit, the last thing I need is to animate that sticker over your face to follow your movement.“

“Got it, babe.“ A deep voice replies obediently, earning an approving hum in response. However, just as Y/N’s about to turn to face the camera again, the mysterious - ok, not THAT mysterious - guest leans down and plants a kiss on their cheek.

“Brat!“ They squeal as they turn to glare at the person with narrowed eyes. He doesn’t appear bothered at all, chuckling as he wraps his arms around them in an attempt to soften them up. Sadly, his tries fall through as they proceed to ignore his affection instead of reciprocating it for the sake of being petty, “Everyone, this is my boyfriend Corpse.“

“Hello, I am hand.“ Corpse says, slowly waving his hand at the camera, “I shall be your entertainment tonight.“

“Oh this is no entertainment, I have a point to prove here.“ Y/N argues, breaking free from his arms before they bend down to pick up one of the two boxes that are resting by their feet. “You see, Corpse and I got in a bit of a scrap last night...“ they trail off, distracted by the contents of the box that’s now resting on their lap.

“I didn’t think me admitting to not liking sweet stuff would provoke such a dramatic reaction from Y/N but here we are.“ He interferes, lifting a finger in the air as though that will help him be heard better or would protect him in case his partner decided to go off at him.

Y/N just ignores his input yet again, continuing to address the camera, aka their audience, “So as you guys may or may not know, my mom’s Korean and my dad’s Japanese. Since they live in their respective countries for work purposes, that means I’m always one phone call - and a little bit of a wait - away from Korean and Japanese snacks at all times. I’m a person who constantly has a snack by their side so you can bet I make that phone call often. However, about a week ago, I made that call specifically for candy, the brands I was obsessed with as a kid. I don’t know what came over me but I think it was my fortuneteller sense kicking in because this mister over here decided to CASUALLY bring up the fact that he doesn’t like candy.” They turn to glare at him before continuing, “Anyways, so luckily, the package arrived only recently so I haven’t had the time to tear open all the candy and eat it all by myself as I was planning to. That being said, today I’ll be in introducing Corpse to the world of Japanese and Korean candy - a tighter circle of it, to be specific: the candy I grew up with.” They finally turn to Corpse again, the look on their face significantly different and a lot more pleasant compared to the one they gave him a bit ago. “So, how are you feeling, babe? Are you excited?”

Although the man’s face is blocked to the viewers, Y/N can still see him and they are pretty damn close to bursting out in a fit of laughter.  “I don’t know how to feel, actually. I know you have peculiar taste so it’s either gonna be a fun experience or I’m gonna very displeased with what you’ll have me try.“

Y/N rolls their eyes, “Trust me, you won’t be.” They put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, only half humoring his nervousness, “You’ll only be trying six on camera, but my parents sent a ton more which you’ll be able to try later, ok? It was really hard for me to pick only six favorites by I don’t need this video crossing the twenty minute mark.”

With a heavy-hearted sigh, Corpse finally brings himself to rip the band-aid off and get this adventure started. “Ok cool, but don’t surprise me with anything, please. Show me what you had in mind to have me try so I can, you know, prepare myself.”

Y/N, who was busy taking out packets of candy just a moment ago suddenly stops in their movements to give him a look of disbelief, “You know none of these are poisonous, right? Like, I’m not trying to kill you or anything. There’s no cyanide, no rat poison...”

His laughter cuts them off, wrapping his arm around them and pulling them closer again, “I’m messing with you, babe. What you got for me?” He says, placing a quick kiss to their temple while sneaking a peek at the packaging of the candies they’re holding right now.

Wiggling a little looser in his grip, they first show him the three items before turning them to the camera, “These are from my mom, she sent them from Korea and they are triggering a massive wave of nostalgia right now, not gonna lie.” They giggle, adjusting the brightness a little so the products can be seen properly, “Ok so first we have the long biscuit sticks that come in many flavors but I asked for my favorite - green tea flavored, that is. Then we have Pumpkin Monaca which are probably one of my most favorite sweet treats of all time. I think you’re gonna really like them. And lastly from Korea we have these butter waffles which I used to eat for breakfast when I was running late for school - which happened often.”

Corpse snorts, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

His remark is overlooked as Y/N continues, now taking out three packets from the other package, “Now we’re moving on to my dad’s box. He didn’t disappoint either: we have soda-flavored jelly beans; Black Thunder chocolate bars which you’re only gonna steal one of because the rest are MINE; and last but definitely not least we have some classic milk candies.” Setting those down as well, they turn to Corpse yet again, this time giving his a mischievous smile that’s promising him trouble, “So, Mr. Corpse Husband, after this introduction, are you prepared to have your entire opinion o sweet food changed? And more importantly, are you prepared to develop an addiction to these treats?”

Corpse nods confidently, “Oh, I’m very prepared, thank you. Let’s just get on with it.”

Needless to say: boy, was he not as prepared as he thought he was.

It goes without saying Y/N proved their point and took the win today.

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