#i hope he and a certain vulcan are smiling at each other :))

[rr311]

╭﹐❣︎﹕ Making You / Them Flustered ﹒〣 ﹕‹𝟹 － 𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖱𝖠 𝖪. 𝖬𝖠𝖪𝖨 𝖮. 𝖳𝖠𝖬𝖠𝖪𝖨 𝖪. 𝖵𝖴𝖫𝖢𝖠𝖭 𝖩. 𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖬𝖮𝖬 𝖡.

cw/tw. kissing, flirting, teasing

an. s𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗋𝖺 𝗀𝗈𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗒𝗉𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗒. 𝖧𝖾’𝗌 𝗍𝖾𝗐 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝖻𝗋𝗈 🙁 𝗂 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗂 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 🥰 𝖠𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝖾’𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝗋𝗎𝗂𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗉𝗌， 𝖽𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝖽𝖽 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝗌 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂’𝗏𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝗌 🧍🏽‍♀️ 𝖡𝖴𝖳 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖶𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖮𝖮𝖮 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝖽𝖽 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌 😈

𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖱𝖠 𝖪𝖴𝖲𝖠𝖪𝖠𝖡𝖤

Pulling you by your pant loops & Teasing

Motherfucker was so sly with it.

He loved teasing the hell out of you, he turned 18 and then all of sudden he’s grown so bold. He used to be so shy around you, always blushing and stuttering and now since he turned 18 basically a young adult he’s grown out of that and decided to make you his target!

Like anytime you guys would be training one on one he would pull out that stunt to catch you off guard. One time during training he had that dirty smirk on his face as he led his hand to hook his index finger around your loop tugging you close to him with his head leaned down to your level feeling his nose brush up against yours, his breath hitting your lips making you flustered. It was a dirty move but he didn’t give a flying fuck, to make things worse he was shirtless during the whole thing due to it being extremely hot outside since the ac wasn’t working inside and like i said before he turned 18 and didn’t know how to act. He teased you mentally every single fucking time, when he seen you would get distracted he would use that as an advantage to take you out making you fall onto the floor.

He was such a dickhead but honestly you loved the little move he would also do on you. You both were currently outside with the rest of the team as you stood next to him playing with your flames as you made tiny sparks as he sat on the bench next to you man spreading watching everyone do their own thing. Maki, Iris and Tamaki bugging Hibana into showing them her flowers, the Captain and Lieutenant talking to each other about the past mission you guys went on and Vulcan working on his little robot? Machine thing? I don’t even know but you were caught up with playing with your flames. You didn’t realize a certain someone’s fingertips were trailing around your waist till you felt them hook around your pants loop making you face his direction. You slightly flinched from the sudden tug but relaxed knowing it was only Shinra’s ass who would do this in literal public having no shame.

You looked down to make eye contact with his red eyes, as his hands moved up to your waist holding you close to him in between his legs, looking up to look into your eyes. “Hi.” He said, you smiled rolling your eyes knowing what he was up to with that grin on his face. “It’s too early for your tricks Shin.” He hummed with a raised brow, “What do you mean? I’m only touching my lovely girlfriend.” He tried to state innocently but the way his hands were moving down your back making their way to your ass told you otherwise, “In other ways..” He mumbled but you heard it scoffing to yourself but jumped feeling his hands grip your ass. “Shinra!” You silently yelled pulling his hands back up to your waist hearing him chuckle in response seeing you slowly become flustered bringing your hands up to your face, you groaned into your hands in embarrassment hoping and praying no one saw him do that. “You’re such a dick.” You muffled into your hands hearing him chuckle in response. “I hate you so much” You said, finally taking your hands out of your face to look at him who only had a cheeky smile planted on his face.

“I had to get you back one way or another.” He shrugged, you looked at him in disbelief. “You’re still on about that? Shinny i said I was sorry.” He shrugged in response, “I know, still wanted to get you back though.” You huffed stepping back feeling that flushed feeling come only for you to get pulled back by your loop with his index finger still hooked around it as he was now standing up very close to your face with a grin on his face, darting his lazy eyes towards lips and back up to your eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re getting embarrassed now?” He questioned with that teasing tone in his voice, you groaned. “What if I am? And how could i not be when you’re practically doing this in public..not to mention in front of the team!” You mumbled, honestly Shinra only does this stuff in public to see you flustered and all embarrassed. It was cute seeing you like that and plus he had to get you back from last time you made him flustered in front of everyone.

He’s only returning the favor.

“Like i said baby, only returning the favor.” He whispered leaning in to close the gap between you both. The kiss didn’t even make it to 5 seconds before Arthur yelled out interrupting the moment. “Captainnn (Y/N) and Shinra are doing gross stuuuff.” You instantly pulled away hearing his loud ass voice interrupt, “Shut up Arthur we were not!” You snarled as he shrugged with an unserious face. From afar Captain Obi looked at you two shaking his head with a sigh as Lieutenant Hinawa had his gun out ready to shoot you both scaring the two of you as you both back up, hearing him mumble. “Talk about getting caught..”

“Shut up.”

𝖬𝖠𝖪𝖨 𝖮𝖹𝖤

Rubbing/ Grabbing your hips & Soft kisses

She was smooth with it to be honest.

Anytime she would walk past you she would always grab you by your waist to move over a bit so she could walk past or whenever you’re not paying attention to her she uses that as an advantage to steal kisses from you. Half the time she’ll do it on purpose to see your reaction, like one time was during training when you two had to improve your techniques for missions to get stronger and when you were doing your own thing TRYING to focus she would distract you hella! Would also grab you by your waist from behind with those warm fingertips trailing and rubbing small circles on your soft skin only for a minute later throwing you onto the floor. You would say it was a dick move (it was.) but at the same time you wouldn’t, Maki was such a tease just like Shinra but she’s not the one to do it in public, she’s more of a private person with her love life but if it is in public it’s only you two alone together.

Now It was currently 11:30 at night, you and the rest of the crew just got back from an extremely long mission with company 2 tiring all of you which sent you all to your rooms exchanging good nights to one another heading off to bed. Shinra and Arthur went to their rooms arguing as always down the hallway where their room was, Tamaki and Iris going to their rooms, Vulcan and Viktor, Captain and the Lieutenant then lastly you and Maki. When you both got to your shared room you were quick to strip off your uniform, throwing it somewhere in the room changing into something more comfortable grabbing your black bonnet, stuffing all your braids into it before laying in the comfortable sheets. You sighed in relief to finally lay on something soft linstead of something hard and warmth hitting your body, closing your eyes with no hesitation letting the relaxation calm your soreness, Maki chuckled as she was already changed into her pjs getting in the bed with you.

Maki moved her hands under the cover to find where your hips were to pull you towards her chest feeling her warmth hit your body as her hands are still on your waist softly rubbing them knowing it comforts you and is sore down there. You cuddled more into her chest opening your eyes to be met with purple ones staring down at you, “That feels good.” You tiredly mumbled watching a small smile form on her lips, “I bet it does.” She responded back, not even a second after saying that she leaned down to take your lips with hers softly moving her mouth along yours as you sighed into the kiss, kissing her back. You slightly giggled feeling her fingertips trail circles on your hips as she pulled away, pecking your cheek, down to your neck giving them small pecks, “Maki that tickles.” You said feeling her smile on your neck.

She trailed her kisses back up to your face, kissing your lips one last time before actually pulling away with that lovesick smile of hers. “I love you.” She whispered, you playfully rolled your eyes, “I love you too, now close your eyes and go to sleep.” You stated as Maki huffed, “So bossy.” She teased, you again rolled your eyes, “Goodnight my love.”

“Goodnight baby.”

𝖳𝖠𝖬𝖠𝖪𝖨 𝖪𝖮𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖲𝖴

Patting her head & Reassurance

You have to admit Tamaki was like a cat, I mean are you surprised? Her abilities are cat like, flaming ears and two flaming tails. You do admit when it was your first time seeing her abilities you thought she was a furry at first but she isn’t after many times of her hitting you and yelling at you for thinking that, one thing about Tamaki is that she will let people know that you are hers and she is yours. She’s like one of those protective/ possessive girlfriends that get defensive when it comes to their partner just like how a cat would do with its owner, sometimes you would have to calm her down and give her that reassurance that she needs which leads to being flushed and red as a tomato because of the way you put your words together and that embarrassment feeling of getting scolded by you.

Just like right now you had to pull her away from Shinra who looked like she wanted to murder him for what she saw, it was an accident but you could see why she was mad the scene was out of context. You and Shinra were outside since he asked you for help with his Adolla Burst, you of course agreed to it agreeing he needed more strength with his flames. So you both started to train, you guys were sparing with him coming at you with all he had as you gave him tips as you were blocking his attacks, the fight was going according to plan before some odd reason his flames got faster which ended up Shinra knocking you both on the ground with him on top of you and you below him with his hands pinned to the dirt ground placed on the side of your head. He looked down at you with widened eyes, “Are you okay (Y/N)?! I’m sorry i don’t know how i did that, are you hurt anywhere?” He asked concerned, you softly groaned shaking your head, “It’s fine Shin and no i’m not hurt anywhere.” You answered, Shinra sighed in relief as he was about to answer only to get cut off by a loud thud, you tilted your head up as shinra looked where that thud was to see Tamaki with red ears and her flame ears on top of her head, “Oh shit.”

Which led to now! Tamaki on your shoulders as you parted her from Shinra who had a red handprint on his cheek rubbing the pain with a pained face. When you got inside to a place where it’s just you both you set her down on her feet, as she stood there with her arms crossed and flame ears still active. “Tamaki you didn’t have to slap him that hard.” You huffed as she rolled her eyes, “He shouldn’t have had my girlfriend pinned underneath him!” She snarled as a sigh left your lips, “Listen baby, it was an accident ok? Me and Shinra were just training to help his flames get faster and stronger, for some reason his flames had gone 2x the speed from before which lead him to knocking us both to the ground. I would never do such a thing to you and you know that, same with Shinra ''You reasoned, Tamaki still looked at you with an angry face with her flame ears still flaring into the air looking away from you. You softly sighed, bringing your hands tilting her face towards your way with two fingers below her chin tilting her up a bit to make eye contact with you, “I’ll look you into your eyes and tell you the truth. Remember the day when I said that? Trust me when i say it was an honest accident, Shinra respects our relationship he would never do anything to ruin that.” Once hearing your words she felt herself slowly start to calm down seeing her ears go out and face going back to her color before it got covered with a pink blush,

“I’m so sorry..I overreacted about it..” She mumbled, you only smiled patting her head. “It’s okay my love, the whole situation was out of context.” You said with a small smile, she really doesn’t deserve you. You were gentle with her and calm and loving…it made her get emotional a little bit. Her eyes started to slightly water as she pounced her way into your chest letting the tears fall and soak through your shit feeling her grip the white tee as you softly sighed, rubbing her back up and down. “I r-really don’t deserve you..” She sniffles with a choked up voice, softly chuckling leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

“You do deserve me, fate brought us together and I'm forever grateful.”

(That was so corny I apologize .)

𝖵𝖴𝖫𝖢𝖠𝖭 𝖩𝖮𝖲𝖤𝖯𝖧

Smiling through kisses & Neck kisses

Word to my grave.

He was such an ASSHOLE.

Like he does this on purpose to get under your skin to see you become a shyness mess! Like you guys could be having a nice date night you know? Laughs, jokes and giggles being heard and told till suddenly he wants to be a little jokester and get immediate with you. Moving his hand to be placed on your hips pulling you closer to his muscular warm body, placing his other hand to be on your jaw then pulling you in to connect his lips with yours savoring that sweetness that came off you. Smiling through the kiss as he pulled back pecking them a few more times before moving down towards your neck, pecking that soft skin earning giggles and butterflies starting to form.

He would always do that and you hated how it would always work.

Now it was 12:30 in the afternoon and you had gotten done early with your training going to the kitchen to fix the team some lunch since you guys had skipped breakfast. You were almost done though, only thing you were waiting on was the rice to be cooked when you were waiting for that you were sitting on top of the counter top swiping through your phone checking your socials or what not, you knew if the Lieutenant walked in seeing you on top of the counter you would be getting punished for the rest of the week but it was only for a few minutes till the rice was done so you would be okay. You hummed a little time to yourself as you swiped and swiped till suddenly you felt a presence go between your legs and warm hands going to your waist shooting your stare to look into red ones. “Well hello to you too Vulcan.” You smiled, “Watcha up to?” He asked, you shrugged placing your phone on the counter as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “Fixing up some lunch for the crew.” You mumbled as you heard him hum in response. “Mm..well if you’re waiting on something to be done that means you got a few minutes right?” You raised a brow with a suspicious look, slowly nodding your head you watched him grin.

“Perfect.” He whispered, before leaning in to take your lips with his as you groaned into the kiss knowing he was gonna do something like this. In response he smiled through the kiss moving his mouth against yours as his hands on your hips moved down towards your thigh laying on top of it, you hummed into the kiss as you gripped the back of his neck indicating you needed to breathe. He got the hint and pulled back trailing his mouth towards your neck giving them light pecks, “Should’ve known you would do something like this.” You sighed relaxing more into his touch as he chuckled with that same grin on his mouth,

Few more seconds Vulcan pulled back trailing them back to hover over your mouth with a smirk averting his eyes towards your lips and eyes, “You love it though, yeah?” He questioned, by how embarrassed you are right now to admit it he was right, his kisses always made you soft and shy. He was so gentle with you it made your heart flutter. You nodded your head slowly being your hand to be on his cheek, “Yeah..” You whispered back leaning in to take his lips with yours again before- “Something smells good in he- OH MY GOD.” A voice yelled startling you both to look who it was and it was Shinra looking at you both with widened eyes and a blush on his face, “Everything alright Shin- oh.” Captain Obi started but stopped seeing why Shinra yelled, you were on the kitchen counter with Vulcan in between your legs and hands on your thighs.

Talk about getting caught .

The embarrassment went above the limit as you felt a hot feeling going through your body as you hid your face in your hands. You now remembered the training session ended earlier today than usual and since you were making lunch the smell of the food stunk up the hallways obviously catching their attentions when they came back inside. “Uhm..well this is awkward.” Captain Obi stated clearing his throat, before you could even do a thing you heard a gun go off and a bullet hitting you right in your side, “Ow! What the fuck?!” You snarled looking up but changed once seeing who it was, Lieutenant Hinwa with the gun pointed towards you with a stern look, “No sitting on top of the counter.” He said clearly shooting another bullet and this time hit you in your arm, “Ouch! Ok ok! I’m getting off.” You groaned jumping off the counter as you rubbed your arm in pain hearing Vulcan snicker beside you. “Somethin funny?” You asked turning your way towards your boyfriend with a glare who instantly shook his head throwing is hands in the air. “No ma’am.”

“So mean..” You heard him mumbled rolling your eyes in response. “Uh..anyways. Finish up in here and we’ll set up the table, come on Shinra!” He yelled catching Shinras attention away from your thighs with a huge blush on his face as he followed the captain like a lost puppy. “Also (Y/N), you’re on  bathroom duty for a week.” Your eyes widened as you through your hands in the up, “Wha-!” He gave you that look the look that tells you to shut the fuck up and do it, you groaned crossing your arms. “Ugh fine.” He walked away with a satisfied nod as Vulcan walked up to you placing his arms around your shoulders, “Damn baby, good luck cleaning the bathrooms for a week.” He laughed,

“I hate you so fucking much.”

𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖬𝖮𝖭 𝖡𝖤𝖭𝖨𝖬𝖠𝖱𝖴

Touching your stomach & Watching you sleep

Everyone knew how non social Benimaru was.

They were surprised when they found out he had a literal wife! You and Benimaru have been married for 6-7 years? Maybe even more but it was shocking when they saw you for the first time in the village. Beni was known for caring for himself and protecting others but never known for the one to be in a relationship! But you proved them wrong (obviously), even being married to Beni for years and ongoing years he’s never failed to make you feel that first feeling when you guys started dating, all shy and a lovesick girl. He wasn’t known for being affectionate but when he does become affectionate it’s either when you guys are in bed together or when he just wants to hold you.

In the night of Asakusa you were laid in your guys shared bed as you were cuddled in the bed sheets with a cold empty spot next to you. Huffing you turned to where Beni was supposed to be but was met with a still made up side sighing as you turned back around facing the white walls that covered the room closing your eyes to try and sleep. As the time passed by, you heard a loud thud behind the closed door hearing it open and close, hard footsteps echoing through the room and a figure getting under the blankets on his correct side of the bed. You quickly closed your eye’s pretending to be sleep as you felt warm hands crawl their way towards your waist pulling you close to his body back against his chest and his hands now on-top of your stomach softly rubbing it,

“Are you sleeping?.” His voice echoed, you stayed silent. You were kinda still mad at him for leaving you hanging like this in a cold bed but started to feel bad hearing him let out a sigh believing you were fast sleep. Letting that feeling win over and sink in you turned around to face his half lidded red eyes that carried many emotions behind them as they gazed into your (E/C) ones. “Hi.” You whispered softly watching a small smile form on his lips, “Hello sweetheart, why’re you still up?” He shrugged in response, tracing your fingers along his clothed chest, “Was waiting for you.” Benimaru nodded his head slightly moving his head toward the crook of your neck inhaling your comforting scent, sighing, “I’m sorry, i didn’t expect to be out so late tonight but those company 8 brats kept bothering me into training them.” You chuckled softly running your hands through his black locks, “Shinra and Arthur? I’m pretty sure they just wanna get stronger love. I mean you’re one of the best Captains on the fire force, who wouldn’t want your help?” You mumbled continuing to play with his hair feeling him huff into your neck.

“Yeah yeah..” From the sound of his breathes getting shallow you knew he was gonna be knocked out like a light, few more minutes you were proved correct he had fallen asleep hearing soft snored leave his mouth making you smile leaning down kissing the top of his forehead,

“Rest well my love.”

(I now realize Beni is 22 years old and i thought bro was 29 🌚 , im too lazy to change it so pretend bro is in his late 20’s)

[teh-tj]

The 2nd and 11th primarchs: My theory

In the Warhammer 40k universe, there are eighteen (plus one) primarchs, each numbered in order of when the Emperor found them. They're totally expunged from the record but from what little we know about them

-They were killed by Leman Rus and/or Lion El-Jonson

-They participated in the Rangdan Xenocides

-Their legions were subsumed into the Ultramarines

-They're called the LOST primarchs

This is what Rogal Dorn said about them.

"The second and eleventh plinths had been vacant for a long time. No one ever spoke of those two absent brothers. Their separate tragedies had seemed like aberrations. Had they, in fact, been warnings that no one had heeded?"

Remember, Rogal is a very stern figure. Very blunt, known for not liking to talk. We know that whatever happened to them was tragic, and Rogal seems saddened by their disappearance. This leads me to believe that whatever happened wasn't intentional. When the living primarchs reflect on the heretical primarchs, they usually do so in anger and disgust. Yet on the rare occasion II and XI are mentioned it's often through a neutral turn. Let's also remember that the two primarchs most likely responsible for killing the primarchs were Leman and Lion, who are both considered the loyal executioners of the Emperor. Of all the primarchs, they're the ones the Emperor would most trust with a secret plan to execute plans other primarchs like Guilliman or Vulcan may object to. Their legions were also subsumed into the Ultramarines; this suggests two things, their legions lost their loyalty to their primarchs and their legions weren't tainted by their primarch's actions. We also know that the primarchs were originally on the Emperor's side, since they're suggested to have participated in the great crusade.

Horus had this exchange with XI's geneseed when he recieved a lucid vision of the past.

"He stopped by the tank with XI stenciled upon it ... feeling the untapped glories that might have lain ahead for what grew within, but knowing that they would never come to pass."

This suggests that Horus felt as if XI had potential. However, in the book "Deliverance Lost" it's revealed that Corvus Corax never met them.

(Emperor) "You and your brothers were taken from me by denizens of the Warp before you were ready."

"Brothers?" Corvus was excited by the prospect, pushing aside the questions that the Emperor's answer had prompted. Though he had made many friends amongst the prisoners of Lycaeus, always Corvus had been aware of his otherness, and when they had started to call him Saviour any hope of normal relationships had ended. That there were others like him filled Corvus with hope again.

"Yes, you have brothers," said the Emperor, smiling at His son's delight.

"Seventeen of them. You are the primarchs, my finest creations."

"Seventeen?" Corvus asked, confused."I remember that I was number nineteen. How can that be so?"

The Emperor's expression grew bleak, filled with deep sorrow. He looked away as he replied.

"The other two." He said. "That is a conversation for another day."

This means they were expunged after Horus was discovered, but before Corvus was.

Here's my theory. I think during the great crusade they might have fallen ill to some sort of disease. I think if they had an organized heresy or rebellion, they wouldn't have been lost. Horus and the traitor primarchs aren't lost to those in the know. I also think the Emperor killing them over a disease would explain why he'd hide it from later primarchs, because a part of the deal is practical immortality and if a primarch thinks too much about his mortality he may act selfishly. This would also explain why their legions didn't fall, simply after a period of quarantine certain legionaries were assimilated into the Ultramarines. This may be a stretch, but I think the way Horus mourned them is closer to when someone you know prematurely dies of cancer rather than when someone dies in an accident or of natural causes. This is why the Emperor had to send his most ruthless primarchs to kill them. Of the brothers, Leman and Lion are the most trustworthy and eager to please the Emperor. Can you imagine Vulcan or Roboute killing a cancer patient? In contrast, can't you imagine Lion or Leman doing it with no expectation? It's why all the primarchs, regardless of affiliation, were sad about it. When someone dies prematurely, it allows you to reflect on them biasly and lets you fill in the blanks for all the unknowns. Meanwhile, if they somehow maliciously attacked the other legions they'd be more reviled. There's even a history of the Emperor killing sickly creations, namely the Thunder Warriors. This may have helped radicalize Horus, between the Thunder Warriors and the Lost Primarchs, it becomes clear that immortality is impossible and that the Emperor will throw you away when it's convenient.

I think this even drives into one of the deeper themes on 40k, that being neglect and cynicism. The Emperor is a cynic who'd get rid of his marines the second he finds a suitable replacement. Horus himself says as much. The primaries who knew them are deeply troubled by their "disappearance" because they know how easily it could happen to them. I think this is why the pimarchs who remained loyal did it out of love for the Imperium, and the ones who fell to Chaos (except Fulgrim who just fell because snake pussy had him acting strange) mostly did it out of spite and self-aggrandizement. 40k is a series of stories of how neglect and narcissism drags humanity away from its potential greatness. The Emperor, in this case, killing two of his sons because he didn't want to shatter the illusion of immortality from his other sons.

[spocks-husband]

vulcan has no moon.

Words: 1,255

Genre/Tropes: Fluff, old married Spirk <3

Summary: Spock is overwhelmed, but thankfully he always has his favorite person with him to make sure he's alright <3

Notes: This was originally published on my AO3 (link included lol), but I thought I'd put it here too :) this takes place like. Sometimes post Search For Spock?? Idk it's during the TOS movies. Enjoy !!

When he was still in the academy, a hopeful young Starfleet trainee with a fervent ambition for his studies, Spock had stayed up late one night writing an essay for his astrophysics class about the sort of force it might take for two astronomical objects that had orbited each other to fall out of that orbit. It had, of course, been many years since then-- several decades, in fact, which made him feel exceedingly aged-- and he scarcely remembered the essay or the assignment themselves... but he did remember his findings. Not because he had much interest in astrophysics-- in all honesty, the subject had rather bored him during the time he spent studying it-- no, that wasn't it at all. In fact, Spock found that the way the subject seemed to stick in his head the way it did, periodically rising to the surface accompanied by flashing images of his husband's timeless, smiling face, had very little to do with the content of his report itself and much more to do with the conclusion he'd found in his research. 

"Simply put, two celestial bodies in orbit, unless influenced by a massive and most likely artificial source of gravitational pull will not fall out of orbit from each other. Of course, should this happen regardless it would result in disastrous consequences for both astronomical objects in question, but considering that it has already been established that the chances of this occurring are nearly if not impossible, it is not a concern relevant for modern scientists to attempt at preventing as it would be illogical to do so."  

Spock thought about those words as he sat stiffly at the Kirk family dinner table, his face neutral and strangely calm, yet his mind somewhere else entirely. He held no resentment toward his husband's family-- his in-laws, as Jim called them (which was not a term Spock understood in the slightest), had been nothing but kind and loving to him, albeit in their own, somewhat unfamiliar way. He appreciated them, he respected them, but... 

Surak help him they were loud.  

Spock really did not mean any sort of discourtesy in that, hence why he would never announce such a thing aloud (he had learned over his many, many years working with humans that they tended to be... finicky... when it came to certain statements of bluntness and as such he'd found, mostly through trial and error and long, patient, confusing discussions with his husband, what it was that he was socially permitted to say around humans-- or, actually, come to think of it, sometimes even other Vulcans. Maybe he just wasn't good with social cues across the universe.). In his mind-- which is where he had elected the statement would stay, it was more of an observation than anything. Still, though,  he found it rather overwhelming. He didn't mind spending time with Jim's family-- he wanted to, even, it was only fair considering the odd amount of time Jim had spent around Sarek over the course of their relationship-- but Spock couldn't help feeling that the Kirk family could be rather... exhausting. He tried not to think about it, but as he felt that steady, familiar sensation of overwhelmedness creep up his spine he feared that any longer in this house may kill him. 

Suddenly, he felt Jim's hand rest over his own, the slightly cold sensation of his husband's ring touching gently to his skin. 

"Hey, Spock and I are gonna head out for some fresh air," Jim announced, standing up and gently moving aside two of his younger nephews who'd been at his side questioning him about anything they could think to ask about the final frontier. James took his husband's hand gently, and Spock didn't argue as they walked out the front door and into the cool nighttime air. 

Spock felt himself let go of a breath he hadn't known he was holding, the door shutting behind them and leaving the two men in a comfortable evening silence. 

"I could tell you were getting a bit antsy in there," James chuckled, taking Spock's hands in his own carefully. 

"Vulcans do not get... antsy," Spock mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

"Vulcans don't, maybe, but my husband does," James snickered in response. "Come on, let's go for a walk." 

Spock was quiet for a long moment before, slowly, he nodded, a subtle smile creeping onto his face. It was a slight change, something barely even there... that only James Tiberius Kirk would've noticed. There were a lot of things about Spock that only Jim ever saw. Small things, nearly inconsequential things... but, when it came to S'Chn T'Gai Spock, Jim didn't think anything was inconsequential. Every movement, every twitch, every glance... it meant something. Jim had known his husband for far longer than he'd known himself, he knew better than anyone that nothing Spock ever did was purposeless. 

"I am feeling rather... lightheaded," Spock said quietly. "Earth's atmosphere has far more oxygen than the atmosphere of Vulcan, and although I have been here many times my body has yet to  have grown accustomed to the change." 

Jim hummed softly. "Do you want to sit down?" He asked gently. Spock seemed like he wanted to protest, but slowly he seemed to pause and reconsider before agreeing. Jim smiled softly at this, leading his husband off the path and into a nearby field, laying down next to him and staring up at the dimly lit stars above.  

It was strange, really; the two of them had seen the stars at far closer a glance, and yet here they were, admiring them the same way Earthlings had done for thousands and thousands of years, long before the idea of space travel was even considered. They had traveled the universe together. They'd nearly died a thousand times out in the vast, cold depths of space-- hell, once one of them had died and it took more sacrifice than either of them liked to think about to bring him back. There was something romantic in that tragedy. Something tragic in that romance. Yet, like they had as younger men who'd fallen in love on a starship that became more home to the both of them than either of their native lands, they chose not to let such things linger on for too long. The philosophical questions of their love, of their lives, could perhaps be explored another day, in another galaxy. They would have time. 

"... Spock...?" Jim asked quietly, almost hesitant in his voice. Spock found it curiously... uncharacteristic. 

"Yes, Jim?" Spock responded, still holding onto his husband's hand with an almost desperate conviction. 

"... Do you think we're ever going to be... you know... separated... again...?" 

Spock paused to consider the question. 

"Perhaps we will," he whispered. His eyes found themselves drawn to the full moon laying lazily in the sky, its shimmering light twinkling gently down onto them. He thought once again of that essay he'd written during his academy years. For a moment, he wasn't certain why the thought had appeared in his mind... but suddenly he knew. And suddenly he found a small smile once again creep onto his face. He squeezed Jim's hand in his own. "But it would be illogical to prepare for an event which has a nearly if not impossible likeliness of occurring." 

Jim was quiet for a long moment-- but after the breeze that whipped carefully around them in the grass seemed to urge him to respond, he found himself smiling too.

"I suppose you're right, Mr. Spock." 

[strawberrywritersguild]

♡ The Little Things: Chapter 2 - Cuisine and Company ♡

Pairing: Julian Bashir x gn!reader Word Count: 3519 words Summary: The historian invites Julian for dinner in their quarters as thanks for taking care of them. They introduce him to several historic cuisines, one of which has strange side-effects.

It'd been three days since you arrived on to Deep Space 9. After the disaster that was your first day aboard, you'd gotten rather comfortably situated in your quarters and work-space, and all your medical files were finally delivered to doctor Bashir. Now, all that was really left to do was to get acquainted with people.

And who better for that task than the pretty doctor who'd gone and looked after you during your vulnerable time. If he would be amenable of course, which you weren't certain of. It's like he'd been avoiding you.

And there he went again, spotting you on your way to the infirmary and turning back around.

"Good doctor!" you call, jogging to catch up to him. Julian's face instantly flushes, his eyes looking around for an escape route. There is none. "Would you, perhaps, join me on the promenade for a quick bite to eat? As a thank you, for taking such good care of me."

"I, uh, I- I would be most glad to, but- I have-" Julian stammers, not entirely certain if he's trying to refuse or accept. Oh, he'd love nothing more than to spend some time with you, but he couldn't help but keep staring at your lips, and that smirk, and remember how soft they were-

"Good doctor, I happen to be very aware that it's your lunch hour. So, would you prefer terran food, or something more exciting?" You ask, turning the both of you around smoothly. Julian doesn't even fully realize that it's happened and just goes along with it. You smirk. He's so cute.

You lead the two of you over to the promenade, silently watching Julian's face change as he comes to the realization of what's happening. Usually you'd be chatting people's ears off, but you really don't want to scare any potential friends you might make on the station.

"I've not yet become fully acquainted with your food situation, so if you have any recommendations give them now." You startle Julian, who turns to you with wide eyes. "If you don't, we could always go to Quark's-"

"No, no!" Julian immediately stops you, horrified at the idea. "There's plenty of other good establishments to enjoy-"

Just then, a huge bang echoes from ahead of you, near the food court. The two of you halt, look at each other, then ahead.

"…Would you…" you turn to Julian and take his hands into yours. "Would you rather come to my quarters, I could make something for us there?"

"It's fine, I'm sure that was nothi-" Another bang, followed by a crash. Julian winces, and smiles awkwardly. "On the other hand, I would love to see what you could come up with."

"I hope I'll be able to impress." You say, bringing his hands to an almost kiss, before dragging him off towards the crew quarters.

"And this is a lovely Vulcan salad, from about six centuries in the past. I learned to make it during a trip to Vulcan about sixty years ago." You set down a bowl of fresh blues, Julian eyeing the strange colours. "It's made with a type of salad that's since gone extinct."

"Delightful. Thank you." Julian nods, taking some of the salad onto his plate. It's already pretty full of strange looking food, at least to him.

"I'll think up some interesting dessert while we eat." You sit down, taking some of the Trill arbon soup onto your plate. You smile placatingly, watching Julian poke at his food.

"So, uh… how are you settling in?" Julian asks, clearly trying to stall having to test your food.

"Very well, good doctor. I've found this station to be… interesting." you smirk, taking a bite out of your meal. Julian, observing it, dares to take a small bite.

"Mm!" Julian perks up, slamming his fingers on his mouth. You look to him with concern, wondering if you'd fucked up the Gandorik mousunt meat. Then, he starts smiling. "This is the best thing I've ever had!"

You give a sigh of relief, relaxing into your seat. "Oh, thank goodness. The last time I made anything Gandorik was my last host."

"No, no, this is truly some of the best food I've ever had." Julian assures you, testing the soup. "Your last host, who was he?"

"Asquil (MC), my twentieth host. He was a brilliant man, documented the entirety of Trill history into a book. He was the one who started on our work to actually document everything." You explain, gesturing with your fork. Julian seems invested, which encourages you to continue. "He was one of my longest living hosts, spent the last few years of his life opposing the destruction of the Klorian historical archives, to the misfortune of the current ruling party. He managed it, considered his life work to be done, and I came to take his place."

"How old are you exactly? You said Asquil was your twentieth host, you must be rather old then." Julian asks.

You sigh, thinking back on the years and years of living in your head. "I'm almost 2000 years old. Which is rather old for a joined symbiote, but I'm… special."

"Special? In what way?" Julian asks, wondering if it's a medical or mental thing.

"I'm… smaller, than all the other symbionts. I've always been, always will be. By all predictions, I'll still be viable for joining for another thousand years."

"Is it a hormonal thing?" Julian wonders, almost wanting to get his medical tricorder to check.

"Yes, I have growth hormone deficiency. I don't really mind, it allows me to be humanoid a lot longer." You mutter, poking at your food.

"But it's still something you find embarrassing." Julian observes, noting your sudden lack of confidence.

"It's like being the shortest in class, despite being the oldest. None of the others dare make fun of me anymore, but they sure did back when I was young. So it's a bit of a sensitive topic, even now." You explain, biting your Ooluvian shick bread, mostly so that you don't have to talk anymore.

"But now you're older than any of the others, and wiser, because of it." Julian notes.

"Well…" you purse your lips, not looking up from your meal. "I guess."

You don't say anything further, and Julian doesn't really know what to say either. The two of you eat in silence for a moment before Julian decides to just change the topic.

"So, was it Asquil who first got you into food history?" He asks. You laugh, finally looking up at him.

"Absolutely not, Asquil was the worst cook anyone's ever met. It was Hosor, my seventh host, who first started looking into food cultures. These are all from his recipe book." You explain, looking excited to be talking again. Julian's relieved to see that. He's decided that you don't look right without a smile.

"Recipe book?"

"Yes!" You lean closer towards Julian, your voice climbing up. "Back then, we didn't have replicators, so it was vital that every step be recorded. And even after we got access to replicators, I personally liked making my own food."

"You can cook?" Julian raises one of his brows, not sure why he's so surprised.

"Yes, though not as well as I used to. Asquil was such a clutch in the kitchen that all knowledge in the world about cooking couldn't have helped him. I haven't actually cooked since." You explain.

"Well, I'd love to see you try." Julian teases.

"I might have to some day. Maybe I'll even teach you how to. Teaching someone can be very… intimate." You giggle, waving your fork at him. Julian blushes, suddenly the one having to look away. You stand up and head for the replicator. "That reminds me, dessert is in order."

"What… what exactly are we having?" Julian asks, suddenly realizing that you've both finished your meals.

"Songean chocolate lake." you answer, bringing over a bowl of something clearly made of chocolate. At least this one doesn't look to strange, by Julian's standards anyways.

"I love chocolate." Julian says.

"I'd predicted so." You say while sitting down. Julian goes to take some to his dessert bowl, before you intercept his hands. "Let me." You smile, holding his hands on the bowl while you ladle him some.

"T-thank you, professor." Julian says, bringing his bowl towards himself once you're done. Your smile turns into a smirk while you take your portion.

"You're welcome." You wink. Julian quickly looks down at his own bowl and spoons some into his mouth. It's the best damn thing he's ever tasted.

It doesn't take long until conversation starts sailing again, though the eating takes a while. Good conversation can really distract the company.

After you're finally finished, you escort Julian to your quarter's door. You're a bit reluctant to let him go, but it's getting late and you're still trying to adjust to the rhythm aboard the station.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay, good doctor." you say, still holding onto his hand as he stands on the other side of the door.

"It was absolutely terrifying." He answers, smiling.

"…" Your eyes widen. "What?"

"I was scared to come here, mostly because you're really attractive and I don't really know what to do with that." Julian continues, before pausing. He comes to some sort of realization causing his smile to fade. "…I didn't mean to say that."

"Good doctor, I think it's best we stop by the infirmary, don't you think?" You take a hold of his other hand, guiding him towards the infirmary.

"I think it's for the best as well, but I would very much like to stay in your quarters much more." Julian says, before once again realizing he talked too much.

"Very flattering, good doctor, but maybe some other time." you smile placatingly, before looking ahead with a panicked look. You have no idea what's happening, and you don't like it.

"So you're saying that he can't tell anything but the truth?" Jadzia asks, looking between you and Julian, who's sitting on one of the med beds. You'd called for her the instant you arrived in the infirmary and realized that a science officer might be of more use than a nurse.

"Yes, it started the moment he left my quarters." You explain.

"And what were you doing before that?" Jadzia asks, raising one of her brows. You have a feeling she's had that same look around you before.

"I'd invited Julian for dinner, mostly just to tease him because I realized he's attracted to me." You prattle, before pausing. "I…"

"Didn't mean to say that?" Jadzia asks, her brow raising higher.

"Yes…"

"It seems you've been affected as well." Jadzia laughs.

"It seems so, yes." You sit down next to Julian, feeling a bit faint. Julian sets a hand on your shoulder, which you pat.

"Well, I'll look into it." Jadzia promises. "Meanwhile, how about you two look into this as well."

"Sure, sure." You wave as she leaves, still chuckling about the whole thing. You glare after her. "Dax did always like to get on my nerves, no matter the host."

"That something you wanted to say, or something you had to say?" Julian asks.

"Both." You grumble. You pat the bed harshly and stand up. "Well, time to get into my files to see if I can find anything."

"I'll do the same then." Julian stands up as well, and both of you find places to work in the room. You probably already know what's wrong, but your memory is so long, and your mind so tiny, that sometimes you forget. That's why you're trying to get everything documented.

The two of you work in silence for a long while before the door chimes suddenly again. You look up and see a cardassian walking in. No one seems alarmed, so this must be the Garak you've heard about.

"Well well, dear doctor, I heard you'd had a little incident during lunch." Garak smiles, to which Julian looks both a little alarmed and defeated.

"Yes. One could say that." Julian shuts his mouth as quickly as he can. Garak smiles endearingly at that.

"Dear doctor, you're much less talkative than usual. Something you don't want to say?" he chuckles, leaning closer to Julian who's looking more and more annoyed.

Julian bites his cheek, doing anything he can to not start talking. You watch amused as Garak keeps trying to provoke the good doctor. You leave the two of them to it, going back to your files.

"Really, dear doctor, it's nothing to be embarrassed abou-" Garak's teasing is interrupted by your shout.

"Found it!" you jump up from your seat, clutching your pad. You look to the two confused friends. "I found what caused it!"

"Really?!" Julian shouts back, getting up from his seat to stand behind you.

"Yes, I'm afraid I forgot about the side effects of the main ingredient in Songean chocolate lake. Kayron roots have a truth-serum like effect. It's why it's no longer made anywhere." You explain, going further into the files. "It seems an antidote does exist, on Songe. I just don't have on file what it is, so we won't be able to replicate it."

"Seems your only option is going to Songe yourself and getting it." Garak points out, to which you groan.

"Songe is a highly isolationist planet. They're not going to take well to a visit." You mutter, setting your pad aside.

"Well, maybe it's better you stay this way then." Garak suggests, to which both you and Julian groan. Garak chuckles, moving towards the door. "Have fun, you two!"

"I don't understand why you like him." you mutter to Julian.

"Sometimes, I don't either." he answers back. You snort, laughing slightly. Julian looks highly offended, which makes you laugh harder.

You, Julian and Jadzia are aboard the USS Ganges, getting ready to leave for Songe. You still think this is going to be a waste of time, but you don't exactly have any other options. You don't fancy being under the effects of the Kayron root for the rest of your life, no matter how amusing it is.

"It'll take us about six hours to reach Songe, so get comfortable in the meanwhile." Jadzia informs you, to which both you and Julian nod to. You've both become remarkable quiet lately, something which only Jadzia is able to fully enjoy. No one else aboard the station has been subjected to just how much you can run your mouth yet.

"So, which of your hosts are we to blame for this one?" Julian asks, and Jadzia can't help giving a deep sigh once you open your mouth. So much for peace and quiet.

After six hours of torture (if you asked Jadzia anyways) you reach the star system Songe resides in. You give a deep sigh, as the conclusion you've come to is that you'll have to negotiate with the Songean people. Something you're not looking forward to.

"I thought one of your previous hosts was an ambassador. I'm sure this'll be a peace of cake for you." Jadzia reminds you, though you're certain it's more Dax than her.

"Yes, Thedius. He was good, an excellent one in fact. But that was over a thousand years ago, the rules have changed, so to speak." you mutter, biting your nails. As soon as you notice, you stop. You hate doing that.

"No one after that has been an ambassador?" Julian asks.

"No, it was soon after that that we became permanently just 'the professor'. Sure, I've had talks every once in a while, but nothing serious."

"And yet you're the favorite Trill of many a planet." Jadzia mentions, smiling secretively. Julian wonders what that's about, but decides not to ask. He knows you couldn't help answering even if it was a secret of some kind.

You look not too thrilled by her insinuation. You can sense Julian's curious stare and turn to him. "I'll tell you about it later." Julian nods, confident in your promise.

"I'll try and initiate communication with them now." Jadzia announces, prompting you to get in front of the communications screen. A few screen taps and a tense moment of silence later, a blue feathered alien appears on screen.

"This is President Fulkaid of the Songe Communion Circle. What is your business here?" The alien greets you, giving you a strange salute. You nod back in greeting.

"I am Loriaz (MC), a historian from the planet Trill. We're very sorry to disturb you, I understand you aren't too keen on it. But we have a bit of a problem only you could help with." You say back, not even attempting to give the salute back. You have a feeling they wouldn't take likely to you botching it, or even attempting it.

"What might your problem be?" President Fulkaid asks, looking mildly interested.

"Me and a colleague of mine were affected by the Kayron root. If my notes are correct, the only antidote exists on your planet." you explain, getting a few nods from the president.

"I understand, but to make sure that you are in fact telling the truth, we'd like to ask some questions from you. And you cannot step foot on the planet, it'd be against our laws."

"I understand." you say. The president nods, getting a pad from someone out of view. Their feathers ruffle a bit.

"Are you here with honourable intentions?"

"Yes."

"Where are you coming from?"

"Deep Space 9, a Bajoran space station."

"What species are you?"

"A joined Trill."

The president looks interested again, and looks to a screen out of view again. A few seconds pass by.

"Are you the trill symbiote known as (MC)?"

"Yes. I was Hosor (MC) the last time I visited Songe." you explain. The president nods.

"I see. Then, could I ask you a rather personal question, to make sure?"

You bite your tongue, having a feeling about what he's about to ask. "…Sure."

"I appreciate it. Now, are you the progenitor of the Kal-family?"

You lean your head against your hand, taking a deep breath. "Yes… I am the progenitor of the Kal-family."

Julian and Jadzia exchange eye contact, wondering what's happening. They'll be sure to ask before you take the antidote.

"…That's all, dear ancestor." The president says, just before cutting communication. You groan, hiding your face on the back of Jadzia's seat.

"I should've remembered that one." you mutter, to the absolute laughter of Jadzia and Julian.

"Ancestor! You're his ancestor!" Jadzia gaggles, to your annoyance. You lift your head up just to glare at her.

"Like Dax doesn't have any descendants somewhere in the universe."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect it from you! I can't wait to tell Pixie about this!"

"You absolutely will not!" you screech, getting into a bit of a struggle with Jadzia who's still laughing. Julian takes a step back, not wanting to get caught in whatever you're doing.

There's that name again. Now at least Julian knows that it's a person, someone you seem to care about. Or at least their opinion.

Only half an hour later president Fulkaid gets in touch again, beaming a few bottles of the antidote aboard. You take a bottle of it for study, but the other two you and Julian take.

"Ugh." Julian gags, the taste the antithesis to what caused this whole mess. You silently agree, coughing. You and Julian look to each other, looking over each other for any oddness.

"Lie to me about something." You say to Julian.

"Umm, I'm not a doctor." Julian answers, sighing in relief afterwards. The feeling of being able to lie again is strangely dizzying. Though it might just be from not getting to talk as much for the past day.

"Well, it seems like this adventure is over." You say, nodding to both Julian and Jadzia. Jadzia nods back, while Julian's too relieved to acknowledge it.

"I'll… I think I'll go take a nap. This has been surprisingly exhausting." Julian says, heading to the back of the runabout.

"Good idea, have a good nights rest, good doctor." you say to him.

"Thank you, professor." he says back, just before the doors close.

"Well, this has just been something." Jadzia says, sitting down to get ready to pilot you back home. You sit down yourself with a deep sigh.

"I hate to say it, but yes. This has been something." you situate yourself into the chair better, feeling tired yourself. Jadzia smiles at you, feeling some sympathy for you.

"I heard Julian told you he found you attractive." Jadzia says. You open your eyes, looking unimpressed. "Any mutuality to that?"

"Yes, Julian is very attractive." You say, before you pause. You and Jadzia look to each other, both thinking the same thing. You glare at her, before settling down again. "No mention of this to anyone."

"If you say so." Jadzia smirks, setting a course back to DS9. She can't wait to see where the two of you are going.

[dangerous-realms]

To hear him say what he did and that his feelings about having a child with her haven't changed was like a weight of her shoulders, to have told him about Vedaav was a sign of trust in her mind and a war god never gave trust lightly for many obvious reasons. A war god wasn't supposed to have these feeling which is why then manifested without them, and while they could be developed and learned there was only a handful of war gods out of the twenty that actually have developed such.

"You're words, they aren't taken for granted. They do mean a lot, I'm sure you can imagine the weight that's been on my shoulders and heart not being able to say these things due to my position. You can count on one hand how many war gods have actually developed emotions like I have."

She also liked his personality, it was quite an intresting one as she could tell he has been through some things. Things that he can tell her if he wanted too, but she wasn't going to preasure him to tell. Time would reveal things, so would desire, but it was up to each other to disclose their personal secrets and whatnot. His words made her smile even after the hug parted, her eyes brighter the when she was talking about what happened with her daughter.

"I wouldn't have pressured you it having a child with me if you refused, though I will admit there are very few I deem worthy to have a child with. So I'd just have to be patient, I do have my grandkids to help fill the desire to care for a child."

With Vulcan being a soldier and Bast being one as well, Riisovaak often came in hand to help care for her little hybrid grandchildren. Little sparks who were and are just as wild as their embodiment father when he was just a hatchling. The two eldest already having flown the nest, twin girls who are youn teens, and a little boy who is only a few months old but already rearing to cause trouble, she's certainly had her hands full.

"I'm certain you would have made a great father figure to her, that is if my younger self let you near her. I wasn't as trusting as I have grown to be, so you would have likly ended up with my sword to your neck.

She couldn't help but look into his eyes with fondness, he was not only an intresting mortal but one who clearly had a passion for life considering how he could be. That night they spent together was definitely not one she would forget, he was very tentative and she made sure to return such. Though on the thought of him, she would put a hand up to gentle caress his cheek before leaning in and giving him a kiss. One of affection, one that lasted around five seconds to show this affection before she parts it.

"You remind me of a fire Kefla, sometimes you cam be a blazing wildlife and other times you are the warm fire of the hearth, warming those around you with the kindness you can show. But when you aren't those two fires your a sleeper flame, waiting for the right conditions to reignite. You are a ray of sunlight breaking through a cloudy sky, You can make me smile truthfully, something that's not many can make me do, and for that I am grateful to have you by my side. I hope to make you smile brightly, and if you ever need anything you can use the medallion to call and I'll be their quickly."

A wound in the heart, old, but not closed. Time taking a while to heal the hurt woman. Life had a strange way of teaching you a lesson. It could beat you to near death or give something you wanted without knowing and take it away once you became fond. You were never the winner, but you were only the loser if you did not step up. Riisovaak knew that. It changed her, and she welcomed that. A god of war had emotions. A machine could evolve to feel emotion. A god of war had to feel something when starting a war. Not leaving that child alone was a choice she made; a choice the other gods would not understand.

[— What would be the point to screwing over a woman I want to start a family with? Romantic feelings are not there, but I like you. Personality first and body second.]

His old self, had she been an enemy; the knowledge he gained would be kept until a moment to use it would happen. He was no liar, her presence was enjoyable. Rare was it for him to want to be around someone. He was not extremely interested in being social. He could, he just did not like it that much. The number of friends could be counted on one hand, that was how many friends he had.

[— I guess there is more to it than just wanting to make a strong child. The reason being unknown wouldn't have made me back away. Sex can be intimate, but the purpose of sex is to make children. You asked for one, and I accepted when I hardly knew you. I didn't need to know your reason, but that knowledge, I am grateful you shared it with me.]

Her love was not accepted or rejected, acknowledged simply. The future, no-one could know what it was made of. Unless your future self decided to show up to tell you about it. Effectively, changing the future of this timeline forever. He doubted such would happen.

[— Had I been around when she was alive; I would have spoiled her. She did not have much time, and the childhood is the most important part of a child. That big smile of her, I would have made sure it never became a frown.]

End of the hug, slowly. Smile on his face, as he looked at the other.

[— I know it's impossible for everyone to just keep on smiling, but someone else, a lover, a friend. They can turn that frown into the greatest of smile. I wouldn't mind doing the same for you, Rii. I wouldn't like seeing you sad.]

[phoannix]

happy birf to jimothy t kirkothy i wish him nothing but the best now go soar in that beautiful space frisbee king❗️❗️❗️

[shelikestv]

Dean picks up the pages, testing their weight in his palm. There aren’t just a few. There are a lot.

He looks at the door, certain he shouldn’t be here, but uncertain that he can bring himself to leave. It’s an accidental find, really. He’d come into Cas’s cabin expecting him to be stoned, or high. Instead, Cas was gone. Instead, on the floor, ripped and spread out like a deck of cards were the journal pages.

Gingerly, Dean separates one from the stack. One that had Dean’s name written in cursive along the outer fold.

He skims the page realizing they aren’t exactly journal entries, per se, but more a place for one sentence thoughts.

-What’s a Vulcan? Dean called me one today.

Dean smiles.

-Dean asked me again if it’s hot in my trenchcoat. I keep telling him angels don’t feel cold. It’s strange to me that he keeps forgetting.

-Sam is acting off. I’m suspicious of his activities and hope that he isn’t drinking–

Dean lets that page fall away. He grabs another with the year 2013 at the top. He scans it, pushing down the guilty feeling in his stomach at prying.

-I broke my leg today. Dean said it’ll probably heal up in a day or two. But I know. I’m human now.

2009:

-I flew back to the park bench again. Sometimes I like to look at the trees or the children playing. It reminds me Dean used to be a child once. Did he ever get to play at a park?

2013

-Dean’s been gone for two days on a supply run. He might be dead or a croatoan now. I’m useless to help with my broken leg. I tried Vicodin for the first time. It almost made me forget how much I worry about him when he’s gone.

2009:

-A Vulcan is an emotionally repressed, logical and stoic creature in the fictional world of Star Trek. I don’t find the comparison particularly amusing.

2012

-Dean smiled today. I haven’t seen that in a long time. He has a beautiful smile.

2011

-The world is coming apart at the seams, but I’m slowly finding understanding coming together for me. There is something different in Dean than the way I feel towards Sam. It leaves me feeling unsettled and raw. I want to look at Dean. To be near him. Instead, I’m reminded about “personal space.” I wish I knew why I can’t touch him. I wish I knew why I want to.

Dean’s hands become slack as he realizes that his name found its way to almost every page of the entries. Sometimes it’s Cas venting that he was pissed at Dean. Sometimes they are simply questions about things he didn’t understand.

But then Dean thumbs to the handwritten pages at the back. Even without the confirmation of the dates, he can tell they are more recent by the way that Cas’s handwriting has started to lose its neat quality over the years, morphing into the messy scrawls Dean recognizes now.

The entries in 2014 are simpler, too, some of them filled with only disjoined words:

-Freckles

-Green eyes

-Small patches of hair that stick up in the back

-His laugh

-His smile. Always his smile. Even if it’s just in memories.

Dean squints, his mouth falling open slightly as he hears a sound behind him. He turns. Cas’s face is surprisingly calm for someone who’s caught another person rifling through his entries.

Cas walks over, his tiny limp that he still carries from his broken leg noticeable, if only to Dean. He lightly holds out a hand and Dean drops the papers in them with a guilty look.

Then, licking his lips, Cas begins to read.

“Caring. Stubborn. Beautiful.”

Clearing his throat, Dean braves a look at Cas.

“You’ve been writing these a long time,” he whispers.

Cas nods, smiling fondly as his thumb rubs across a passage he’s found.

Dean glances at it:

-I told him once when he was sleeping. I know it’s not the same, but I needed him to know.

Silence.

“I couldn’t look at them anymore,” says Cas, gripping the paper tightly as it starts to crumple from the pressure.

Very carefully, Dean pulls the papers from Cas, dropping them to the ground. He moves his hand to Cas’s jaw, touching it with one finger, then his full hand as Cas closes his eyes, relaxing into it.

“So tell me now,” Dean says. “I’m awake. Tell me now.”

Cas’s eyes open with a flutter.

“I love you,” he says without hesitation.

Dean leans in, kissing Cas lightly on the lips, tasting the salt of his humanity on his tongue.

They stand on the pages of their past, kissing deeper, as if finding each other again after years of being lost.

Holding each other, Dean presses his ear against Cas’s, relishing in the warmth he finds there.

“I love you, too,” he says.

[giggly-squiggily]

The Candy Heart event idea is so brilliant!! I don't usually send in multiple requests for stuff like this but I just can't decide, so I'll give you a couple and you can pick one or do them all or whatever you wanna do!

❤️Darling: “Do you want me to tickle you?” with platonic Hinata/Kageyama (you know I love your fics with them!!)

💛Sweet Heart: “Oh? Is someone ticklish?” with platonic lee Viktor, ler Vulcan (maybe it's a weird combo but I honestly think their dynamic together as science/techy guys is really neat)

🧡Miss You: “When’s the last time you smiled?” with platonic lee Sousuke, ler Rin (idk how far you've gotten in Free but Sousuke is my fave!)

Please don't feel obligated to do them all! I simply couldn't decide so I thought I'd list them and let the queen do what she does best! Thank you so much friend! Keep being amazing and stay hydrated!! ^^

dfhjaedjrjaherjhejrjhaehj Thank you friend! You're too kind! Naturally I'm gonna do all three! How can I not-they're all so freaking cute! Today I'll start with Hinata/Kageyama! I hope you like it!

Darling- "Do you want me to tickle you?"

“Do you want me to tickle you?” Kageyama whirled around, glaring at a giggly Hinata sitting not too far from him. It was post practice, and the boys were getting ready to head home. Kageyama was in the process of tying his shoe, but a certain redhead kept on jabbing him in the hip with his socked foot. “Cause if you do it again, I’m gonna!”

“Oo, I’m so scared!” Hinata teased, raising his arms and making a feign fearful expression. Feeling bold, he jabbed Kageyama again, this time in the ribs, making the other spasm with a snort. Hinata cackled.

“Oh that is IT!” Kageyama roared playfully, grabbing his friend's foot and scribbling into the socked soul. This quickly turned Hinata’s gremlin-like cackles into shrieks of laughter as he flopped about like a fish, trying desperately to escape. “GAH! Ahahhahahahahahahhaha! Kahahhahahahahgeyahhahhahahama! Nohohohohohoohohoho!”

“I warned you! And did you listen? Nooooo! You kept on playing games, Boke!” Kageyama grumped at him, his tone teasing as he watched his friend squeal and shriek. “We should start calling you Shoyo-Mouse! You sound like a baby rodent when tickled!”

“Bahahahahhahahaby rooohohohoohohdent?!” Hinata gasped through his laughter, eyes flashing. With sudden speed and agility, he broke free from Kageyama’s tickly grip, bolting towards him and tackling him into the ground, his own hands planting firmly into the setter’s armpits and scribbling away. “Gahhahaha! Tahahhahahke thahahhahaht!”

Kageyama threw his head back in laughter, unprepared for the sudden revenge. “Bohoohhoohohke! Gehehehhehet oohohohohohohohff! *snort* Iihihihihiihi mehehehhehan it!”

“Hehe, if I’m Shoyo-Mouse, I guess that makes you Tobi-pig!” Hinata declared, giggling when the snorts came again and again, punctuating each new giggle and laugh. “Come on, Pig King! Don’t hold back!”

His victory was short lived when Kageyama’s hands dug into his waist, making him scream with laughter once more. Eventually, Daichi would find them and yell at them to go home, but for now, it was a full out battle!

Send me a pairing + a candy heart phrase!

[mystery-star]

Waiting for you - Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of injury and death

Words: 1838

Star Trek universe: AOS

A/N: Just a lil thing I wrote because I haven’t written (at least for Spocko) in ages. And didn’t feel like writing on a series.

-

“She’s here. She’s here” you heard someone shouting beside you and looked around and finally you could see the Enterprise approaching in one of many tunnels above you. You smiled and stepped forward a little and waited for the crew to dismount. When you saw the first of them, your smile got broader and you got onto your tiptoes to look out for your husband. Not many people of the Enterprise had someone waiting for them and those who did seemed overjoyed. It made you look down for moment because you had a feeling that Spock wouldn’t greet you like others greeted their loved ones. Finally, you could see him and slightly raised your hand, hoping he’d see you. When he did, he came straight towards you, stopping half a meter in front of you

“(Y/N)” he said “What brings you to Yorktown?”

“I’ll give you three guesses” you replied and just threw yourself around his neck “I’ve missed you, Spock” you breathed against his skin and he hugged you back slightly.

“Am I therefore right to conclude that you came here in order to see me during my shore leave?”

“Right” you let go of him but only that you could kiss him. He cupped your face and kissed you back. At some point his hand found yours, slowly stroking his first two fingers against yours. But then he pulled away from you all of a sudden, just holding your hand. You turned around and saw two older Vulcans behind you.

“Commander, might we have a word? Alone?” you wanted to ask why you couldn’t come when Spock threw a glance at you and squeezed your hand

“Do you mind?”

“Just be quick” you pecked his cheek “I’ll be waiting for you, okay?” you handed him a keycard of the hotel where you had booked a room for you both. He gave a nod, then let go of your hand and followed the two men. With a sigh you looked after him and returned to the hotel, knowing he would be clever enough to find it when he was done.

But he only came when it was dark and you were already in bed, reading a magazine on your PADD.

“Have you been waiting with sleeping until I return?”

“Well, you got some days of shore leave, then I won’t see you for another two years. I want to use every minute with you that I can” he gave a nod and sat down on the bed, placing a device on the nightstand. “What did they want?”

“I will tell you in the morning”

“Alright” you put the PADD aside and stretched yourself a little before sitting up, crawling closer to him and wrapping your arms around him again, kissing him. “We now have better things to do, don’t you think?” he kissed you back and placed one of his hands in the small of your back, pulling you closer while he ran his other hand over the side of your face. After the kiss he leaned his forehead to yours and you bumped his nose with yours. “Did you have fun out there on the mission?”

“I have written and called you three times per week, as we have agreed on, and informed you about what you call ‘adventures’ and have also answered each question concerning them I was allowed to answer”

“Well yes but your last message was two days ago. I need a recap of the past two days. Or retell me your favorite mission. Doing it face-to-face is much better” you pecked his lips. He gave a nod, pulled you into his lap and started telling you how the Captain had attempted to make peace between two species that didn’t work out as planned. Then he went on to their arrival to Yorktown and suddenly his communicator beeped “Tell me that’s your private comm”

“It is not” he leaned forward to get it and you just wanted to stop him but let it happen with a sigh. Placing you back on the bed, he gave your hand a squeeze, took the comm, opened it and left the room. With a sigh you fell back on the bed, glancing to the PADD and considering if you should continue reading but then looked at the ceiling, repeating everything you had planned to do with Spock in the following days in your mind. Soon Spock returned and you sat up with a smile but his words ruined it “I must go”

“Go? Go where? Aren’t you on shore leave?”

“I am. However, there is a matter that requires my assistance”

“What is it?”

“I cannot tell you much but I must leave Yorktown”

“You’re shitting me”

“I do not joke”

“But… but… will you at least get that time off later on? How long will you be gone?”

“I suppose it should not take longer than 36 hours”

“Oh well…. Then you owe me yet another debriefing upon your return” he gave a nod, came closer to put his comm on his nightstand and pecking your forehead.

“Please make yourself a pleasant day tomorrow”

“Okay. And then I’ll be waiting here for you… again”

-

But Spock didn’t come home the evening or morning after he had left, so you decided to make yourself another nice day exploring another area of Yorktown. In the late afternoon, you suddenly heard how the station went on alert and after looking around you saw that a swarm of tiny ships tried attacking Yorktown. Around you everyone was in panic, screaming, rallying kids and running away while you stood there frozen, staring at the many little ships on the other side of Yorktown.

“We have to leave. Come. Now” someone next to you shouted, pulling on your arm

“Can we go somewhere safe? Like a… bunker?”

“A bunker on a Starbase?” the man started laughing slightly and shook his head.

“Or can we do something? Something to help? Is there a defense station or militia? Or help evacuate people?”

“That’s Starfleet’s business” as if on cue, there was an announcement, informing the public that there was an attack and that you should not panic. You let out a snort and watched how the people around you seemed to panic even more. You looked around and finally saw a security, officer, going over to him.

“Excuse me, Sir?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll all be safe, just stay calm and…”

“No, I wanted to ask if I can help something.”

“Help?”

“Yeah. Weapons, evacuate people or something” he looked at you, considered it a while then said he’d have to check it out. But before he could return, they managed to somehow blow up all the small ships. Somehow you couldn’t believe that this was everything and sure enough, there was another announcement informing the public that a great part of the ship had been destroyed but that three of them had gotten into Yorktown but that they still had the situation under control and would do everything to stop them. For some reason, you found that three ships hand entered Yorktown almost worse than the initial attack. Because you knew there probably wasn’t much you could do unless the ships came to that part of Yorktown, you sat down in a café, ordered a drink and watched the news on the big screen that gave a permanent update on the situation at the other end of Yorktown. Not even 15 minutes later, you heard that everyone was out of danger and the intruders had been rendered harmless. After a sigh, you finished your drink and then returned to the scene of the action, maybe there now was something you could help, like tidying up damage or helping the wounded. You stayed there and helped until it was dark and the volunteers were sent home, so you returned to the hotel. But you didn’t get far and the receptionist called you over.

“You are (Y/N) (Y/L/N), right?”

“That’s me, yeah”

“I have message for you, from a doctor Leonard McCoy”

“I know him. He’s the doctor on the Enterprise. What is this message about?”

“He lets you know, that your husband… Commander Spock will spend the night in Yorktown hospital”

“Ho-hospital? They’re back? What does he have? Is it bad? Can I visit him? When did they get back?”

“He only told me that so you know where your husband is and in case you wish to see him. I don’t know anything else” you nodded and with a thank-you you ran out of the hotel, to the hospital, where you had brought a few people earlier today. You went to a visitor station to register your visit and once you knew where your husband was and that he currently could be visited, you rushed to the elevator and then to his room. When you saw Spock lying in bed awake, you let out a deep breath and moved closer.

“Spock” you breathed, not sure what to say and having a hundred questions at the tip of your tongue. "How are you?” was the first you asked

“I am well, (Y/N). The doctors insisted I stayed the night to ensure that my condition does not become worse” you nodded and came closer, taking his hand, pressing a kiss to it as you sat down on the edge of the bed. To your delight, he squeezed your hand.

“What happened? To you, I mean?” he explained how on the mission his side was impaled by a piece of metal and that McCoy didn’t have the correct equipment to properly treat him. “At least you’re safe” you ran your free hand through his hair. “When did you even get back?”

“4.2 hours ago”

“That was… that was when the attack happened” he agreed and said it was them who played a great role in stopping them. “Oh so that big ship that destroyed the central plaza was you, the Franklin?”

“Indeed”

“And what about the Enterprise?”

“She has been destroyed”

“Oh no. What about the crew? Are they safe?”

“We have not yet been able to ascertain who has survived the attack on the Enterprise and who lost their life, however, I am certain that at least 350 people have survived”

“Out of 428 that’s still a lot that could have died”

“Besides, I also know of at least 16 casualties from the crew” you gave a nod

“And what now? I mean is your mission over? The Enterprise is gone”

“We do not know yet but it is certain that we will remain her for longer than the originally scheduled 12 days of shore leave”

“Well, then we got more time to do something as long as we’re here. And I get to see you longer. Ha that visit was worth it” you leant down to kiss his forehead. “Now we just gotta make sure you’ll be on your feet as soon as possible because I have lot planned for the next days”

-

Taglist: @softsapphicideals

[starryeyes2000]

Do You Know What Day It Is?

Status: Complete

Pairings: Christopher Pike x Fem!OC

Rating: Teen

Word Length: 1.7k

Summary: A fluffy Valentine’s Day story with a bit of romance, a bit of domesticity, a bit of humor (I hope), and a certain Vulcan following his Captain’s instructions.

For my friend Meghan who requested a Pike/Aalin first Valentine’s Day story.

ooooo

Aalin was surprised to find Chris dressed in civilian clothes and puttering around their quarters when she returned from her shift. “Are you ok?” she immediately asked concern evident in her tone.

“Of course, why would you assume otherwise?”

“You’re not usually done with work this early.”

He walked over, circled his arms around her waist, and leaned down for a kiss. “Do you know what day this is?”

“Monday? Days kind of run together on a starship roaming through space.”

“Well, yes, it is Monday. But I was referring to something more significant than the day of the week,” he prompted while unzipping Aalin’s uniform jacket and slipping it off.

“Some sort of sort of ship-wide holiday?”

He kissed the side of her neck and nipped at the spot where her shoulder and neck meet. “No. But that is an intriguing idea.”

She sniffed delicately. “You’re making dinner?”

“Yes. For my beautiful wife as is appropriate on this day.” Chris pulled her closer and swayed them in an impromptu, musicless slow dance. “Why the smile? Did you figure it out?”

“I still haven’t the slightest idea what day this is, but I like it already.” Aalin reached up and caressed his cheek, then ran her hands over his shoulders and down smoothing the soft material of his light grey turtleneck. “It is chilly in here.”

“Yes. You should put on a sweater. Go change while I finish putting things together.”

By the time she returned dressed in soft clingy black pants and a sweater the color of a dusky blue desert sky, the lights were dimmed, and candlelight flickered. The chairs which normally sat opposite were now arranged on adjoining sides of the table, as close to its corner and each other as was physically possible. Between them one place setting was laid with two sets of silverware. Aalin didn’t remember when the habit began, probably on a lazy morning with breakfast in bed, she thought. But now, as often as not, they curled up on the couch during dinner, sharing a common plate and trivialities about their day. There is something amazing intimate when personal space melds together when eating a meal.

Chris held out a chair dropping a kiss on the top of Aalin’s head while settling her into it. She queried as he brought two dishes from the small kitchen area, “Is there a problem with ship’s power?”

“Ah no. Why do you ask?”

“The chilly room. I thought maybe we were conserving again?”

“That’s fixed. I purposefully lowered the temperature in here.” Dimples making an appearance he added with a playful grin, “Makes for cozier snuggling.” He poured her half a glass of wine. “Though we’re splurging, this is your limit for the evening,” he said firmly.

“You’re never going to let me forget that night, are you?’

“You almost fell off the transporter platform,” he reminded.

“It wasn’t my fault,” she protested.

“No. But like Vulcans and chocolate, even a small amount of alcohol goes to your head.” Taking his own seat, Chris clasped her hand and kissed its palm then the wrist before twining his fingers with hers. He speared an orange from the salad offering Aalin the bite.

“You made my favorites, thank you.”

“Dessert is new. And before you start with the questions, a surprise. I’ve been tinkering with the idea for a while.”

She pretended to pout. “Not even a hint?”

“Red. Which is also a clue to the other mystery you are pondering.”

“I give up. What day is this?”

“Valentine’s Day.” Chris paused. “I know it fell out of mainstream favor nearly half a century ago, but my folks still celebrate it, they always have. Every year, no matter what was happening in our lives, they bundled me off to grandparents and spent an evening and night focused solely on each other. I assume your mother and father did not.”

“Half the time my parents aren’t in the same city as the other, so I doubt it.”

He gave her hand an affectionate squeeze before letting go. “Perhaps it’s corny. But I like for at least one day in the year, a day that isn’t uniquely special in another way such as an anniversary, laying aside all else and prioritizing the most important person in your life, the one you cherish. I want that for us.”

“That’s …” Aalin stopped, eyes dewy and shining. “That’s one of the loveliest things anyone has ever said to me.”

Chris cupped her chin and rubbed his thumb across her cheek, brushing away a tear snaking down it. Then he refocused them on dinner. “If they are so often apart, how did your parents manage to have and raise five children?”

She chuckled. “Just in case you missed the birds and the bees lesson at school, making the child doesn’t require more than a few minutes of, shall we say, mutual time.”

It was an evening of layered intimacy; kisses and touch, a meal shared, conversation about random inconsequence things, laughter, confidences exchanged, stretches of comfortable silence without the need to fill it. They nestled on the sofa; Chris’ arm draped around Aalin’s shoulder, his fingers idlily stroked her arm. Her head rested on his shoulder. Soft jazz, the romantic kind, a la Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, and Ana Caram played in the background.

Aalin laid her hand on his chest and sat up. “Who’s minding the store?”

Chris tried coaxing her back against him. “Spock. He’s taking the evening and overnight watches. It will be good experience for him.”

“How did you get fresh raspberries?”

“The last planet we surveyed. Not true Terran raspberries but very similar. Chef took a cutting from the bush. The botanists think it’ll grow in the hydroponic bay. Scary movie?”

She pushed further away. “Seriously? Isn’t that a predictable cliché? The frightened girl falls into the handsome man’s arms?”

“If I may point out, you were in my arms. I’m simply trying to get you back there,” Chris replied edging closer. “Or …” he gently pushed Aalin down until her head rested on the pillowing leaning against the sofa’s arm. He hovered over her propped on his right arm, weight balanced on that arm and knees, left hand roaming her hip and side. They kissed. Stopped for a breath. And kissed again. The kisses became increasingly penetrating and erotic, blurring the boundaries between them. For both it felt as if time had suspended, as if they had the ship to themselves …

The door chimed.

Chris broke contact long enough to whisper, “Ignore it.”

A second chime sounded.

“Go away,” he called out in his firm commander’s tone of voice.

“They can’t hear you,” Aalin interjected.

He grinned. “Ok then.” He pitched his voice louder. “Go away, I’m making love to my wife.”

Through their five months of marriage, Aalin was learning her husband had an impish playful side. It didn’t surface often, at least not on the ship. She often wondered if this aspect of his personality would be more apparent when on leave.

The response was a third chime.

“If it were important, the bridge would have called,” Chris assured. He added stressing the first words, “Via the intercom. Meaning it’s either someone with a last-minute request they’re hesitant to take to Number One and therefore be on the bad end of one of her preparedness and planning ahead lectures, or it’s Phil intent on mischief.” His hand snaked up her sweater. “Now, where were we?” He trailed kisses across her collarbone and down.

A fourth chime rang out.

“Have you considered whoever is out there will become concerned and get security or medical to override the lock?” Aalin warned as she half-heartedly pushed him away.

“Isak’s married, he’d call first to double check. As for Phil … damn …”

She sat up and straightened her clothes while Chris trudged to the door. He, in a humorless tone of voice, groused as the doors swished open, “This better be important.”

“It is sir,” Spock responded.

Chris crooked his finger and the Vulcan leaned closer. “I told you not to interrupt me for anything but an impending supernova.” He paused. “A big one,” Chris added with emphasis. “A really big one. A record breaker. One never before seen or recorded.”

“Captain, many supernovae have occurred unseen by Federation eyes and undetected by our sensors,” Spock pointed out and then pronounced, “Therefore your criteria are flawed.”

Chris’ head swiveled towards his wife as she tried to suppress a chuckle. He scowled at her. That unleashed her amusement.

Spock continued, “However, indeed, I am here to report an impending supernova.”

“How close?” Chris demanded.

“To what are you referring sir?” Spock inquired.

“The …” damn, Chris thought before continuing, “star that is about to or has already exploded.”

“I see. Close enough.”

The Captain took over and he interrogated in rapid fire, “When will we intersect with the aftereffects? Can the ship be adequately shield from the path of destruction? If not, can we go around it?”

Spock answered the questions in order. “We shall not. Shielding is unnecessary. There is no need.”

Chris’ mouth gaped open for a second. Confused, he tilted his head tilted slightly to the side. “What?!?”

“We shall not. Shielding is unnecessary. There is no need,” Spock repeated in a serene monotone.

“No … I … mean,” Chris sputtered. “If this phenomenon is not a danger to the ship, then why, exactly, did you come to here, at this moment, to deliver a report about it?” Immediately Chris realized his mistake as Spock explained, in precise detail, his reasons.

“… In conclusion, it is a uniquely interesting supernova meriting closer study and therefore …”

Chris held up a hand. Spock paused. Chris said in a less than patient tone of voice, “Very well. Study it. Wake the rest of the ship if needed.” He keyed the doors to close. As they did, he added, “You can tell me all about it in the morning.”

“I shall prepare sir,” Spock promised.

Returning to Aalin, Chris held out his hand. While leading her to the bedroom he remarked, “Next year we’re bundling a certain Vulcan off to the grandparents.”

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother

[440mxs-wife]

Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @marvelouslytrekking​ @spacedancer1701​ @anna-phora​

[ficforce]

White Lies

Obi x Reader

SFW

Obi’s automatic reaction to seeing his friend pour scalding hot soup over her hand was to grab her arm and pull her under the cold running tap, he’d nearly made her fall in his rush and she fell into his side, her free hand gripping his belt to stop herself landing on the floor, “Sorry,” he murmured and steadied her, “Are you okay?”

The water was frigid on her hand, already numbing her skin that should have been red and angry from the burn, “I wasn’t paying attention, Captain… I think it’s okay, it really wasn’t very hot.”

“Are you sure, you’re supposed to keep it under cold water for at least ten minutes,” He turned the tap off and chocolate eyes examined her skin for any sign of blistering or damage, there was barely a mark on her and the man ran his thumb gently over the back of her hand, “I just thought you’d hurt yourself – thank goodness it hadn’t come to boiling point.” Obi was certain the soup had been ready, perhaps he hadn’t set the stove as high as he thought? “I’m glad you’re okay!”

Y/N still had her fingers looped into his belt and was pressed into his side, she knew he was strong, he wasn’t shy about showing off his muscles but Y/N was a little overwhelmed by how hard but also how comfortable his body felt against hers. It made her feel soft and small in comparison. He was still warm from his quick shower before dinner duty and she couldn’t help but love whatever he had used as body wash, “Thanks to your lightning reflexes.”

“If they were that good then you wouldn’t have ended up with soup on your hand, let’s get this cooked before there’s a riot.” He stepped away from her and picked up the knife to continue chopping ingredients. Y/N felt a little disappointed to have been separated but went back to helping prepare dinner; she enjoyed cooking with Obi, he had some skill and was fun to banter back and forth with, she also got to admire him move around in his tight, black t-shirt…

They served up on time and Y/N took her seat opposite him, narrowly avoiding an elbow to the ribs as the boys fought their way into their seats to fill their plates. They were so rowdy at mealtimes. The evening continued as normal and just before she headed off to bed her Captain called her over, Obi took her hand again and checked it over. “Captain Obi, I’m really alright.” He gave her a smile that she couldn’t help but return and they went to their respective rooms.

 – -

Vulcan glanced to the passenger seat as Y/N’s head continued to droop, Hinawa kept checking her vitals as she drifted in and out of wakefulness, “Should I head for the hospital?”

“Keep heading for home… she’s just overheated,” the Lieutenant could figure that much out but he was a little confused as to the cause. If she had simply gotten too hot during the firefight inside then that would be simple enough, but she was showing the same signs of overheating that a pyrokinetic would have – she didn’t have any abilities though.

The panel slid open from the back of the Matchbox and Obi peeked in, “How’s she doing?”

“Even though she took a direct hit from that last attack she’s not too bad. No burning to her throat and her lungs seem clear…” Obi sensed that the man had more to say but was keeping quiet for now, he slid the panel back in place and sat back down with a loud exhale. Obi hated when someone got hurt and he especially hated that Y/N was suffering because he hadn’t moved fast enough – again

They left Y/N in Maki’s care and Hinawa pulled the Captain into their office, closing the door behind him and heading for the filing cabinet for Y/N’s resume. Name, age, height, weight, experience and finally, he found the part he needed, “Unpowered. Y/N has no pyrokinetic ability.”

Obi sat on his desk and nodded, “Myself, Vulcan, Licht, Iris and Y/N are all unpowered – what’s going on.”

“Y/N’s showing the same symptoms of a second or third-gen that’s overused their ability; she’ll recover just fine but she should have told us.”

The Captain’s eyebrows scrunched together and he crossed his arms over his chest, “Could it be something she doesn’t know about? Like, it’s a new thing or hasn’t quite manifested itself?”

“I doubt it, it’s not exactly something that comes quietly and most new pyrokinetics can’t control their abilities, she’d have known – let’s not forget that she would have to know to control it to keep it a secret.”

“Why hide something like that?” Hinawa gave a shrug in response and they both went through her history again, nothing flagged up and Obi stood up straight, he gave a stretch before heading for the door, “I’ll just ask her outright.”

They were a close team and he felt that she would be honest with him, at least he hoped she would trust him enough…

Y/N was sleeping in her room that she shared with Maki, she liked the bottom bunk and when Obi tapped on the door, Maki gave him a thumbs up to indicate that the other woman was okay and just resting. Not wanting to wake her up Obi asked Maki to have Y/N come to find him when she felt better.

 – -

She found him in his office in the late evening, the man was writing out several reports and looked a little odd with his hair dishevelled from pushing his fingers through it. She knew he wasn’t an idiot, Captains had to be strong and smart, she also knew that Obi felt more comfortable with physical action rather than academics and speeches. Not wanting to interrupt his flow Y/N sat opposite him and rested her elbows on his desk, waiting patiently for him to finish so that she could see what he needed.

“Did you lie about being

unpowered on your resume?” He came straight out with it, not looking up or stopping his pen, she thought he sounded quite neutral about it and that threw her off.

“…” Y/N’s mouth opened and then it closed again, she straightened her back and moved her clasped hands onto her lap. “I… don’t use them, so I don’t consider it a lie…” She wished he would stop and look at her rather than continue, the scratching of the pen on paper was making her feel anxious and more words seemed to fall from her lips, “I didn’t mean to hide it, I really try not to think about it… I’m a second-generation, I have been since I was twelve but… I’m… I’m not supposed to use it.” He still didn’t look up and she curled her toes a few times, waiting and waiting until she couldn’t help but add, “I’m ashamed of them, to be honest.”

Obi’s pen stopped this time and he put it down before looking up at her, she had expected him to seem mad at her for hiding it but Obi looked more concerned than anything. “Ashamed?” his voice was softer than she thought it might be and Y/N watched as he got up and came around his desk, “Who the hell made you feel that way?” Obi crouched down to her level and his hands rested on her knees for both balance and to offer some sort of comfort, “Y/N, you’re amazing whether you’re powered or unpowered. I need to know this stuff though, for your safety at the very least… Hinawa thinks your ability overheated you and not the fire. We could have treated you for the wrong thing and I don’t think I could handle that, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry…” she mumbled at him and then her eyes widened when his hands covered her, “Captain?”

“I want Company 8 to be like a family, the squabbling and teasing included. It also means I want us all to be open with each other – Me and Hinawa don’t have to tell everyone else but he did say that if you need help with your ability he’d help.” One of his hands let go of hers to rub at the back of his head almost nervously, “I don’t have powers so… even though I wish I could help…” Sometimes he wasn’t much use and he hated it, especially when it came to the younger members of his team or someone like Y/N that he may have liked a little too much. “We’re not going to judge you.”

All of a sudden the woman dived forward and hugged him, her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her face into his neck, Obi returned the embrace and waited for her next words. He wasn’t sure if she needed comfort or was happy or if he was just lucky.

After a moment she drew back, her face a little hot from the interaction, “My parents really hated when we found out I was a second generation… they were always so disappointed and I guess I learned to feel the same way. I have a high tolerance to heat and I think I’m able to contain fires in one spot but I’ve really only ever learned to suppress it.”

“You’ve really never told anyone? Not even a boyfriend?”

She shook her head, “Never had a boyfriend – or a girlfriend. I was too worried about them finding out…”

Obi looked down at their hands, she hadn’t made a move to take her’s from his after he had held it again, “I can’t help you with the second-gen stuff, Y/N.” He felt a little sleazy for asking her whilst she was vulnerable like this but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen her appreciate looks now and then; some of his flexing was for her benefit. Obi cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “I can… maybe take you on a date sometime though, if you like it then maybe I could take you on another?”

“A-and maybe after that, I might try out kissing….?” She could feel how hot her cheeks were and she glanced shyly up at her grinning Captain. The clearing of a throat came from the door and they both looked up at Hinawa with wide eyes, “If I survive…”

[caitlinsfandomthoughts]

Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2:  I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.

[august-anon]

Tickletober Day 14 - Light Tickles [LATE]

Trying to write lee!Spock while keeping him in-character is rather difficult lol, I don’t know if I properly accomplished it.

Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series

Ship(s): Spirk

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Spock/Ler!Jim

Word Count: 961 words

Summary: In a quiet moment, Jim discovers something new about Spock.

[ao3 link]

-----------------------------

It was moments like these that Jim coveted, Spock knew.

With how many emergencies the Enterprise seemed to encounter, it was near-impossible to catch any stolen moments between work. And Spock himself had set boundaries for the bridge, knowing what Jim was like. As much as he cared for Jim, he would not be made the latest lunchtime gossip for the new transfers thanks to the Captain’s flirtations.

Currently, they were curled into each other on Jim’s bed, backs resting against the headboard. Spock was reading something on his PADD while Jim traced shapes onto the thin skin of his wrist, pressing a grin into Spock’s throat whenever he shivered. Eventually, Jim’s fingers began trailing up his arm, and Spock’s arms prickled out goosebumps in response.

“You’re beautiful,” Jim murmured against his skin.

“Is that so?” Spock replied, finally setting aside his PADD.

Spock hummed as he felt Jim’s lips press a brief kiss to his neck, wrapping his arm around Jim’s shoulders to pull him closer. Jim took it even further than that, swinging a leg over his lap to straddle him. Instead of cuddling closer as Spock expected, he leaned back.

“Yes,” Jim said quietly, reaching up a hand to cup his jaw. “I love you.”

Spock tilted his head into Jim’s hand. He still struggled expressing his affections in words as Jim did, but he rested easy in knowing that Jim knew the sentiment was there. It had been talked about at length, after all.

But Spock couldn’t help but jerk away as Jim’s fingers brushed against his ear, clapping a hand over his mouth. Jim also jerked away, as if he had been burned, and a guilty expression crossed over his face.

“Sorry, was that--” Jim cleared his throat, avoiding Spock’s eyes. “A, ah, Vulcan biology thing?”

Spock was never going to live the Pon Farr incident down, was he?

Fortunately, Spock’s reaction had nothing to do with what Jim had been referencing. Unfortunately, Spock’s reaction had everything to do with something Spock found almost equally as embarrassing.

“No,” Spock said simply, hoping Jim would drop it.

It could never be that easy.

Jim’s brow furrowed. “What is it then? Are you hurt?” He took Spock’s chin between his fingers to make him tilt his head, trying to examine his ear. “Let me see.”

Spock carefully extracted his head from Jim’s hand. “I am not injured, Jim.”

Jim stared at him, in that way that made Spock feel like Jim was trying to take apart his soul through his eyes alone. “Spock.”

Spock steadfastly refused to sigh in resignation and relented. “I just have a certain… sensitivity.”

Jim hesitated. “Sensitivity?”

“Yes.”

“A sensitivity of the ears.”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t make it sound like any less of a Vulcan sex thing.”

This time Spock did sigh, but only barely. He looked away, staring at the wall, hoping it helped him feel less vulnerable as he next spoke.

“It’s… ticklish.”

“Ticklish.”

The teasing tone of Jim’s voice did nothing to soothe his frayed nerves, and Spock started rambling to cover that fact up. “I know there is logic in it. An evolutionary measure designed to warn of danger, but it does not stop the fact that it is--” Spock cut himself off, realizing he’d backed himself into a corner.

“... Embarrassing?” Jim finished for him, with that infuriating smirk of his.

Spock searched for an out. “In a sense.”

That smirk stayed firmly in place. “You don’t have to be like that with me, Spock. I know you.”

Spock didn’t say anything in return, redirecting his gaze to the wall from where it had traitorously strayed back to Jim. He absolutely did not startle when he felt Jim’s fingers on his ears once more.

“Tell me to stop now and I will.”

Spock hesitated, for just a moment. “I suppose it’s already,” Spock said after a moment, voice barely a whisper. “So long as it’s you.”

Though he wasn’t looking, Spock could feel the force of Jim’s smile. He resisted the urge to squirm nervously as Jim’s fingers traced up his ears, trying to find weak points. Instead, he clapped a hand over his mouth to hide any smiles that broke through and held his breath to keep in the laughter.

“You’re going green,” Jim teased, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the tip of Spock’s ear.

Spock let out a nearly inaudible squeak, not expecting the press of lips.

“I could do this all night. You may be hiding your smile, but I can see it around your eyes.”

Spock’s shoulders shook with silent laughter as Jim kept tracing, delicately running his fingers over the points of Spock’s ears. Clearly it didn’t take him long to find the weakest spots, Jim was nothing if not observant. There was a reason he had made captain, even with his short time in StarFleet.

“In fact, I may just do this all night.”

“Jim,” Spock forced out, finally jerking away from his touch.

“Spock.”

Spock relaxed back into the pillows as Jim finally moved his hands away. He leaned up and pressed a brief, gentle kiss to Jim’s lips.

“We should sleep soon to get the maximum amount of rest possible for our shift on the bridge tomorrow.”

Jim smiled at him, smoothing down his mussed up hair. “Ever the logical one.”

“Someone has to be, in this relationship.”

Jim laughed, but toppled off Spock. Spock helped him wriggle back under the blankets and they curled close together as Jim called for the computer to dim the lights. Though Jim fell asleep quickly, Spock stayed awake much longer, unable to erase the feeling of Jim’s fingers tickling away at his ears.

And the fact that he didn’t mind it at all.

[oftincturedwords]

First of all: I'm currently listening to the songs you added to the descriptions of Steven and Bucky and I LOVE 'em!

I would ask for Doc Roe/Legolas/Dr. McCoy, whoever you most feel like describing!

(I hope you and your stitched up hand are doing well!)

send me a character and i’ll list: ACCEPTING !

DOC EUGENE ROE <3

favourite thing about them : doc roe is another top tier favourite character of mine so i everything about him is my favourite <3 but i won't cheat & just say everything agdjfkglg so to give a specific thing , i love how roe will do everything he can to help the wounded. from running out amidst a firefight / bombings to get to them & get them out to telling off superior officers to sacrificing pieces of himself to ensure he can do his job the best he can. his dedication to that is on par to lipton & winters i feel. he was right there during the absolute worst bits of some of these men's lives , working not only to patch up their bodies but to keep them calm , talking to them & using their nicknames whenever they're wounded so those hurt know they’re in good hands & with a friend , whether they make it to aid station or not. i admire roe for that , in giving his all for the wounded & not letting anything get in his way for advocating for a patient or ensuring his patients know he's treating a man with personality & life back home rather than another number of men on sick call / list of the wounded.

least favourite thing about them : what is not to like about this man ??? agdjfkglg but seriously , the only thing i can think of would be his decision to draw away from everyone during the time in bastogne & become isolated , but honestly i can't blame him for using that coping mechanism with everything that was going on then. but he may have had an easier time of it if he didn't resist heffron’s attempts at friendships & perhaps opened up somewhat to spina , even if spina is a lower rank than him , but roe is the sort to help others before himself & continue to do so until he's used up. he's rather self sacrificing like that & that's not healthy. but again it was 1940’s so they didn't have much concept of mental health help or understanding in ways that we do today & even still today it's stigmatised so i can too see why he wouldn't be openly talking , just wish he perhaps think he had to separate himself from everyone , to create distance & choose his job as a medic over creating those tight-knit friendships as everyone else did.

favourite line : “You are officers, you are grownups. You ought to know!”

brOTP : roe & spina , roe & heffron , roe & luz , roe & malarkey

OTP : roe / heffron

nOTP : roe / winters , only because winters needs nixon & vice versa

random headcanon : back during training , a group from easy company were swapping scary stories they’d been told from where their from or ones their parents shared with them , there's all sorts being told & some overlays , but somehow they convince doc to tell one , so he tells the one of the rougarou & with his low way of speaking & lilting tone he manages to be a good story teller , he’s most likely imitating how his grandparents on his mother’s side told him it. he’s one of the only guys out of three ( luz & malarkey are the other ) to actually get everyone a bit spooked. not scared but it's definitely difficult to not think of it when a few days later they have an exercise that has them out in the swamps of north carolina

unpopular opinion : erm i’m not certain that i have any unpopular opinions on roe , hmm i don't think that i do , but if i think of one i'll come back to fil this out

song i associate with them : oats in the water by ben howard or the humbling river by puscifer

favourite picture of them :

send me a character and i’ll list:

LEGOLAS <3 ( books / films )

favourite thing about them : another top tier favourite character of mine , i think you managed to pick every single ultimate favourite character in these fandoms xD that's very cool ! but back to the favourite , hmm i admire legolas’ ability to still find joy & happiness in the world even though his home has been besieged by darkness’ taint , & losses he's faced as well as the fight he's had to keep along with the rest of elves there. even during trials of the quest he was usually light & could find something to smile about. he has a lightness to him. yet he doesn't allow him to not see the reality of the situation or the quests’ weight , he is very grounded whilst being able to see the brightness that still lives in arda. he can sing , laugh , smile , & find humour even in dark times without seeming like he's clueless or ignorant or careless.

least favourite thing about them : i really don't like his characterisation in the hobbit films , but that's more due to writing than the actual character. i guess i would say least favourite hmm his prejudice against the dwarves , like i don't the elves have their sides & reasons just as the dwarves have theirs , but he really should go find it out for himself instead of just believing a long steeped prejudice & dislike. ( this is excluding the events of the hobbit films )

favourite line : “I go to find the sun!” or “How about side by side with a friend?”

brOTP : legolas & aragorn , legolas & gimli , legolas & elladan & elrohir , legolas & tauriel , legolas & faramir

OTP : legolas / gimli , although i see legolas as more asexual than anything

nOTP : legolas / éowyn , i love éowyn with faramir too much to ship this , so it's not that i hate it , just it isn't a favourite

random headcanon : legolas knows how to use a leaf as a musical instrument , by pressing it between their fingers & then bringing it to their lips to esstentially whistle against it , as do several in his patrol , during moments of downtime they try to play tunes on it & judge each other on how well it sounds or just laugh at the attempts or guess which song is being playing ( or trying to be played )

unpopular opinion : i think my unpopular opinion is in the fact i see legolas as aromantic asexual , tolkien never says that legolas gets married or has someone waiting for him back home , nor do i see he & gimli as anything more than friends. do i like the gigolas ship ? yes ! is it my canon when writing those two ? no.

song i associate with them : i love to see the wheels in motion by barry phillips or fear no darkness by adrian von ziegler or flight of the silverbird by two steps from hell

favourite picture of them :

send me a character and i’ll list:

LEONARD MCCOY <3 ( tos / aos )

favourite thing about them : his dedication to his patients & profession , he will tell off the highest of admirals if it’d help his patient & he'd risk his own life / safety ensure a patient was helped like when he tended to mirror!spock’s injuries or when he stepped in to alter the course of the kal-if-fee to save both spock & kirk , no doubt he got into some legal issue with vulcan on that one. too i admire his ability to remain calm , cool , & collected under any circumstance. like when khan threatened him with a knife to treating the horta to learning he had xenopolycythemia to tending crew members he's come to know as friends & even family.

least favourite thing about them : i don't really like some of his xenophobic comments to spock , especially in tos , i know it transforms more into a banter / teasing thing between him & spock later in their friendship , but it doesn't fit his character to be the sort to try to change someone's ways to prove a point or think humans are better because we express our emotions. i know he's a gruff doctor who speaks his mind , but it just let very off with his character to have him say those things with actual meaning & intent

favourite line : “When the personality of a human is involved, exact predictions are hazardous."

brOTP : mccoy & kirk , mccoy & spock , mccoy & scott , mccoy & uhura

OTP : mccoy / kirk

nOTP : mccoy / chapel , nothing against it , it just isn't my favourite pairing , i much prefer chapel with rand more than anything

random headcanon : his fear of transporters actually comes from an accident he & some of his childhood friends had with a transporter , it all turned out fine in the end but it always left mccoy feeling a bit weird round them , then in school he learnt about all the transporter incidents / injuries that had happened & it just increased his dislike , not to mention when he got to medical school in seeing some of those sort of injuries first hand , & just being on the enterprise with all her transporter incidents it just keep piling onto it , although it means he's picked up some very good ways of coping with it , some good some not. i think that's why he's especially cranky when it comes to transports because he's nervous to hell & back so instead of being anxious , he just gets angry.

unpopular opinion : hmm again i'm sure if i have an unpopular opinion for mccoy … i can't think of any

song i associate with them : far too good by john smith , feels like home by sam tinnesz

favourite picture of them :

[doginshoe]

Burning Up, Burnt Out

This is my work for the Nalu and Gruvia big bang @nalugruviaevents! I worked alongside @yaushie, who made the beautiful art to go with the fan fiction I wrote. Thanks to @celestial-fire-writer for being beta once again. Summary:  Set in the year after Alvarez and before Lucy's book signing. The team is on a mission to help a native village on a island, but the celebrations afterwards leave Natsu to do some deep thinking about a certain celestial wizard that won’t seem to leave his mind. 

ART BY @yaushie

The fire roared as cinders rose up in the night much like fireflies, stars gleamed in the night sky and the air tasted of smoked meat as the villagers threw their offerings into the large pit of wicked flames. The people cried out as they rejoiced, clapping their hands to the beats played by the drums. The women with sultry eyes moved around the flames like conspiring Wiccans, rising the spirits from the curling fire as they swayed their bodies in erotic and enticing ways. They stretched their arms high and grinded their hips, flicking their legs high in the air as they jumped to then push down and again use their footwork to circle around the fire.

The men sitting at the edge of the cluster of celebration hollered at the women as their skirts sashayed with their sensuous movements. Their tight bandeau leaving the skin of their midriffs exposed and subject to their hungry gazes of wonder and amazement. Many of them would stray just enough from their tight knit group of dancers to caress the cheek of a surrounding watcher, enticing and drawing them in with their deep gazes until they would lean forward in their daze. Then the women would skip back to join the large burning fire - leaving the crowd breathless and entranced. It was a game of cat and mouse and they were teasing minxes.

Natsu, like many others of the audience, watched on. His dark eyes were drawn into the soft exposed skin covered in a soft sheen of sweat, the strong and long legs that kicked up and the way their breasts were barely concealed in an orange fabric that was lined with gold trim. However, it wasn’t all the dancers that grabbed hold of his gaze. It was the billowing blonde hair that caught his breath, the deep brown eyes that occasionally glanced his way. Lucy, who was twisting and turning amongst the other women, had called him in. Her body stirred something in the pit of his stomach as she seemed to move with the fire, embodying the way the flames flickered and curled behind her.

He was completely enraptured. The thrum of the drums and strum of strings reverberating through his body, cutting off the noise of villagers who joined in the festival. Natsu couldn’t tear his gaze from her being, and he knew she had noticed his unwavering stare on her. Lucy grinded her hips more to the music, arched her back just a little bit further to uncover the view of the delicious skin of her neck, but it was her eyes - the way she peered up at him through thick lashes with flushed cheeks - that made him swallow hard and realise that he had been caught.

She knew he was captivated. Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she spun on her feet in rhythm, the deep brown hue making him their victim once again as he was locked in her gaze. He couldn’t count on both his hands and feet how many times her eyes had persuaded him and made his knees weak, lungs breathless - the way they shone when she smiled, crinkling slightly at the side, and sparkling like the stars she beckoned to her side in battle. It was especially painful when they would break in front of him, becoming watery and fragile. Those were times Natsu was lost, when he felt smaller and more vulnerable than when Igneel had disappeared. He couldn’t fight away her sadness. It made him… confused. His heart would feel like stone in his chest as if it had stopped beating and would tumble from its bone cage, a feeling in his throat that threatened to choke him.

She grinned at him. The smile was large as it accompanied her bright eyes, glinting gold from the fire. It pulled Natsu from the thoughts he always found himself puzzled when he looked at the celestial wizard for too long. Her hands clapped above her head before she skipped and flew through the air, her feet coming down to land gracefully before she dipped her body low.

The long blonde locks that had been tied loosely into twin ponytails danced behind her. They shined, illuminated by the flames as they whipped in the fresh night air. The glow reminded him of a far off time, a November sunset - her smile just as wide that day when they had come back from rescuing Macao at Mount Hakobe.

The sun was shining its last rays before it would sink below the horizon. Their shoes scuffing along the cobblestone street as they left the grinning father and son after they successfully brought Macao home to Romeo. The young boy’s shout of thanks echoed in their ears and a small smile still played on the blonde’s lips as they walked beside each other in a comfortable silence. Natsu peered at her from the side. She was strange - that, he was sure of. The newly joined member throwing herself into his business and then complaining every step of the way. Natsu didn’t like people like that. She acted like every other sucker who thought being a mage was a walk in the park and some sort of title that could be thrown around. However, her blind bravery to face the Vulcan alone surprised him; as did her tending to Macao’s wounds and the way she smiled. Natsu had faulted when she had looked back at the snot-nosed kid. He had nearly fallen flat on his face, but he only shook his head slightly, eyes leaving the weirdo to focus back on the path. He hoped Mirajane had something special to eat when he got back.

Natsu tore his gaze from Lucy. The feast before him had been half picked at, which had been extremely unlike him, yet he couldn’t bring himself to pick up another mouthful. Gray was still being patched up by the giggling old crones of the village, much to his dismay, and Erza was at the Chief’s table. He noticed Wendy had been dressed in the same outfit that Lucy was wearing, but she stayed far from the show that transpired in the middle of the village. His dark eyes flicked back up to the blonde as his thoughts drifted back to her. That had been happening a lot lately.

A sigh left his lips, the sound giving life to the muddled thoughts that plagued his mind. The mission had meant to be something for them all to unwind and to let them come back down to reality - to make the war a distant memory. However, the fire dragon slayer had only become more tense. His fists clenched at his side and his chest puffed out as he gritted his teeth. It was his instincts gearing him up for a fight. Yet, he couldn’t beat this down. What was he meant to do?

He gulped as the vulnerable feeling clogged his throat. He had learned, he had grown stronger. Fear didn’t stop him anymore. It was welcomed and used strategically against his opponent. Enemies that seemed impossible were always overcome. Natsu was ready to defeat anything in his way to protect his friends - to make sure their smiles kept true.

Lucy remained a puzzle.

He couldn’t get past it. Her eyes led to his lungs dysfunctioning. Her smiles made his palms sweaty with a heart that just wouldn’t stop pounding. The way she smelled, sweet and like the books she spent so much time with; it pulled him to her.

It made Natsu want to tug at his hair. When he had set out alone he spent most of his nights frustrated as he looked up to the stars, his thoughts drifting to the blonde that he left behind. She always said that they guided her, but Natsu only saw the vast midnight sky. The glinting lights seemed to taunt him rather than to offer solace for his troubles.

The celestial wizard wasn’t in danger and he certainly didn’t consider her to be an enemy. She was much more to him. Lucy was Lucy. Yet, she plagued his mind. It felt like he was missing something. The feeling built in his stomach, a nervousness he didn’t quite understand, and it was wrong. How was he meant to protect her from that? Something that was unknown to him?

Natsu felt the drums pick up speed, the vibrations humming in his veins, as the dance was coming to a close. Lucy clapped her hands as she moved her hips along with the other villagers - the movements absolutely tantalising. And Natsu watched her. His eyes filling with longing as they glazed over. She seemed like a friend to the fire as it bathed her in its light - the flames nearly consuming her as she pushed and pulled her body alongside it.

He could always ignore it. Feign ignorance so he could be welcomed into the bliss that he had lived in before he met her. Things would go back to normal. The simple life. It would be as easy as felling the tree that had begun to bind itself in his ribcage - the centre suffocating his heart. The branches would shrivel and slowly fall, the roots no longer embedding themselves in his bones and he would be free.

A thought he had believed foolishly. Even in the beginning he had tried to ignore her. She was a friend… and that was all. He’d asked her to be his partner because her heart was true. There was nothing else. However. it was the small spark, the tiny little wonder that ebbed at his mind that he should have listened to. Even when he thought he had overcome it, she always made sure to relight it. Always putting herself in harm's way for him, and yet he was meant to be the idiot. Natsu always thought the blonde did stupid things; like when she tried to stop the raft when they were battling the Oracion Seis. The girl had no clue what she was doing, yet she held onto him even as they plummeted down a waterfall.

He could still remember the sick feeling that swam in his stomach as he was swept up in the white rapids - Lucy by his side, her arms wrapped tight around him. No one had ever really cared about his motion sickness. It was always something considered a joke in the guild, a running gag people used to get under his skin. At other times it was an annoyance. If it had been anyone else they would have let the river take him. It was his own fault his stomach couldn’t beat the nauseating waves that rocked his mind. But, she was different. Natsu had never had someone care like she did. Running after him in his weakest moments no matter how pathetic they seemed. He would often think about when they fell from the waterfall. The sound of crashing water filling his ears, blocking out every other noise except his pounding heartbeat until they hit the river below. She’d made him fault again. His mind short circuiting when he looked at her until he could push out an earnest thank you.

The fire called to him as it burned, the flames being his own as he started off the celebration in the village with a mighty fire dragon roar. If all the way back then he had acknowledged the growth then maybe it wouldn’t be a mass of vines and prickly branches that threatened to suffocate him nearly every moment. Instead it had to be crushed into him, literally. Being stuck underneath boulders and watching as she refused to run. The same determination would always flicker in her eyes when he saw her in a fight, always reminding him of the time he could’ve lost her.

“Run for it, Lucy! He’s way stronger than he looks!! I’ll figure something out. Just get out of here!” He shouted, his fingers digging into the dirt as he desperately tried to claw his way out. If she had no magic power then-

“I won’t.”

Natsu stilled as her voice cut through the air, his throat going dry as Kain’s foot came down on her body a moment later, crushing her into the ground. He could barely breathe as she screamed out in agony. He could only watch as she was beaten down. Why wouldn’t she run?

Kain kicked her forward, the blonde gasping for breath as he walked over to her limp and bruised body before gripping onto her hair, the tresses spilling through his fingers as he lifted her up to her knees.

“I don’t want… to run away by myself…” she choked as she began to force a smile through the pain, blood dripping down her chin. Those brown eyes shining before they closed, her smile picking up into a grin. “Because…”

Natsu could only remained frozen in place as Kain pulled her higher into the air, his mind screaming at him to do something, anything, but his body wouldn’t listen. It couldn’t. Even with the weight of the rocks crushing him, her words had left him stiff with shock. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as her grin stretched wider and wider, a small blush rising on her cheeks.

“It’s always more fun when we’re together!”

Those words echoed in his heart for a long time after she had said them. It was as if his mind put them on repeat, always bringing him back to that moment at some of the strangest of times. He supposed that was when he really did begin to notice that there was something more with his partner. That moment shattered a wall he didn’t know he had built. He treated everyone at Fairy Tail like family, the people who made the guild a home, and Lucy was the same.

Except…. Lucy herself had become a home. He always found himself coming back to her at the end of a long day. She was comforting, she was strong and she was kind. His partner always managed to find the good in everything. Lucy had become a safe place and he just couldn’t stop himself from always being by her side, or noticing just how small her hands were. Or that little buzz of warmth that would linger when their skin would brush against one another, which seemed to be more often than not.

Natsu sighed as he finally leaned back, he seemed to be the only person not in the spirit of the festivities. He just couldn’t seem to enjoy the celebration even as more people began to join in with the women in the center. Even Wendy was coaxed into joining, Lucy grabbing her hands and pulling her into the group. Their smiles growing brighter as she twirled the younger girl. Everyone was cheering, the beat beginning to shake the table as it grew louder and louder.

After that day he could never stray from her side for too long. Coming back from Tenrou after seven years, he would try and protect her, be someone to rely on like he did with her. Except they were thrown into the Grand Magic Games only a few weeks later where he had to watch her fight and he couldn’t step in. Seeing Minerva torture her as she was defenceless. His hands bled as he had to sit back, nails digging into his palms as he shook with anger.

But, even when he was standing right next to her in front of future Rogue… He had come close to losing her so many times, even when he vowed to be there, just like with all his family. He could never save Lucy. That time would always haunt him. Watching as she fell to the ground, the hand where she had her guild mark... He couldn’t protect her! In two different strands of time he was useless. Lucy’s future was destroyed. She couldn’t be happy.

The tips of his fingers just barely grazed the darkness that took her away. Natsu could barely move as he watched her fall. He was too late. Even if it wasn’t Lucy from his age, from his time. He could’ve saved her. He could’ve fixed everything. It was all too real. If his Lucy wasn’t kneeling beside her he would’ve thought she was actually gone, that the only way he could’ve saved her had slipped right past him.

He knew he had to become stronger. She had dug herself too far into his heart. He would be enough to protect her future. That burned into his resolution when Lucy thanked him, the warmth of her hug still burning where her arms wrapped around him. It was then that he knew she’d always be by his side… because he had a future to protect. He had her future to keep fighting for.

Natsu loved her.

When her body laid limp in his arms, Natsu felt nothing but pain until a snap pulled him into a rage. She was stuck in Dimaria’s suspended time. He knew it now, but seeing her like that - he couldn’t even hear a heartbeat. It was all too much. The future he had promised to fight for, to live for and protect was now lifeless in his arms. That thought alone sent a blinding shock through his system, the feeling taking over his senses as he lost control. It was pathetic, but Natsu let himself to succumb to it. He would have fought the demon that was taking over, the END seed that was planted within him slowly sprouting as it filled him with poison, the whispers sometimes still echoing in his mind. He could only be thankful that Gray, and then Erza, had stepped in his way. They stalled his maniacal mission just long enough for him to collapse into her arms. He was home again and the anger washed away.

No matter what they went through they would always be together. Side by side. It didn’t matter whether they were battling some petty dark guild or stopping the end of the world. Today and everyday would always be an adventure. He knew it when he was falling out of the sky. His body battered from fighting with Acnologia, but a giant grin on his face as he knew who gave him the strength so he could do it.

He could barely contain the grin that pulled on his lips as he bared his teeth. Her eyes were blown wide as she stared at him in shock, Happy was in her arms beaming at him. When she smiled back up at him, tears filling her eyes, he knew that he was home. Lucy was home. The three of them would always be a family. A team.

“I’m home!” He chuckled, his smile beaming even wider.

She opened her mouth, a stray tear dribbling down her cheek as she managed to find her voice. Knowing they had finally won. That they had saved the world. She knew that if anyone could do it, it would be Natsu.

“Welcome home!” She cried and he felt the warmth spread through his chest.

In that moment Natsu knew that he could accomplish anything because he always had someone to return to - his guild, his best friend and a particular blonde that managed to start a fire in his heart.

His eyes were glued to Lucy as the dance came to an end. She kicked her leg into the air, following the rest of the group as they finished the song. The drums were intense as she twisted and moved around the fire, a sheen of sweat making her body shine in the fire light. With every spin and dip the flames seemed to copy her. His flames. Natsu couldn’t stop himself from staring. She had never looked more ethereal than in this moment. Her hair spun like gold thread as she turned with the fire behind her. Her hips drawing him in and alighting the embers in his chest, burning him up from the inside. The way she seemed to almost glow had him captivated - it was as if she was a goddess teasing him. Her long legs making his blood pump as they pulled down before leaping into the air. He had been in love with her since long ago.

The last hit on the drum resounded out in the village as all the dancers raised their hands, their chests rising and falling as their lungs struggled to heave in a breath from the movements of the dance. Her eyes burned into his as she grinned before being engulfed with the crowd. The people’s joyous cries replacing the beat that once hummed throughout the village.

She had been swept away from him as he sat in front of his meal. Natsu clenched his fist, offering his gaze back up to the heavens that could only mock him. The twinkling lights glinting down at him like all those nights before. Natsu cursed as he stood from his spot, glancing back at the blonde to find her and Wendy raised up by the village, the younger girl looking more sick than anything whilst Lucy laughed.

He smiled softly before he walked away. He had spent too much time caught up with the celestial spirit mage. Though he knew that he couldn’t help the pull that she had over him. It was as if Lucy was fire itself - a fire he couldn’t control. Ironic, considering the fact that fire was his to wield and command.

A sigh left his lips as his feet kept him walking to the edge of the village, where he could get away from the noise and away from her. He hoped it would ease the unwanted feelings. Yet, it never did. Natsu knew it, but he still walked - his eyes coming back to the stars as he breathed in the crisp air. When he exhaled the puff of air, it came out as smoke.

Tonight, seeing Lucy move that way, was almost earth shattering. She’d stirred up the heat in his chest once again, setting him alight and raising the flames higher and higher with every movement she made alongside the bonfire behind her. It was completely mesmerising. The heat seemed to lick at her skin and embody her very being. It only made the feelings harder to ignore as the embers rose into a wildfire.

Natsu wanted her. Lucy was just… Lucy. She was so good to him, so tantalisingly good that it made him feel weak at the knees. That vulnerable feeling that ate him up was because she made him feel like he was going to lose control. He wanted to hold her close, feel her soft flesh against his and breathe in that sent that made his mind go blank. She was everything to him. The blonde that had treated him to a meal all those years ago becoming someone he didn’t want to live without - someone he couldn't.

Natsu had to steady himself against a tree on the outskirts of the village, his heart rate becoming erratic when he thought of everything he wanted with Lucy. He wanted them to spend every moment together, each day planned with Lucy and leading her off to one mission then the next. However, as time passed he soon noticed that his plans with the blonde took at different turn. The thought of her soft pink lips and smooth skin playing on his mind. That was what had control of him now. The idea of her wrapped in his flames as he took her hard. The blush on her cheeks and how her mouth would part in a soft moan - it all made him feverish.

He was caught in a mess, Natsu shaking his head as he tried to collect his thoughts with a deep breath. He wanted Lucy, no, needed her. She had lit a fire that couldn’t be put out and he couldn’t wait to pull her into his chest and crash his lips onto her own. He loved her and by gods it was time she knew.

He had to tell her, his feet pushing him forward to where the team took rest. This feeling - the jitters that spun webs in his gut - only ushered him to continue forward and quickened his pace. He knew that Lucy was different, he had known from the very start. It had scared him. Igneel never mentioned anything to do with love. Even Makarov had only taught him one important lesson that he kept for the rest of his life, to love your family and to keep them safe.

The torches lit his way as he stumbled past people who had gotten too ahead of themselves in the festivities. Except as he rounded a corner and heard her laugh - his steps picked up into a sprint. The time was now, this is what he needed to do.

“Luc-”

Yet in all his resolve, he found himself pausing. There she was. His partner, but she wasn’t alone. He watched as she laughed, the sweet sound resonating in his ears, while waving away Happy. His best friend breezed up in the air as he yelled at the blonde. The faint traces of their conversation tell him that she’d insulted his chances of ever being the right man for Charla.

Now was his chance, but Natsu couldn't bring himself to take another step. Maybe it was the jittery nerves finally freezing up his muscles, or that she had made him falter again. All he knew was that as he watched his team, no - his family - he felt complete in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Lucy was softly smiling as she patted Happy on the back. Her outfit from the dance was gone. It was just her. It was Lucy. Her hair had been taken back up into her pony tail that she had started wearing when he had left her for a year. Her keys were placed on the right side of her hip, the usual brown belt holding them in place. Although she had grown over the years, the blonde hair now reaching past her shoulders and her outfits always being swapped, she was still the same. Her brown eyes were still kind. Their depths drawing him in every time he stared in them for too long, Just like everyone else, she would fight till her last breath for their guild - for him. Lucy was home.

As he watched them, the fire that had been burning so fiercely only blazed brighter. For so long he had been fighting it, thinking the roots that nearly suffocated him would form a forest and leave him in the dark. Now he felt as if he could breathe easier than ever before. This was his team, his family.

Natsu barely registered what was happening before he slipped his arms around both their shoulders, pulling his partners to him in a crushing side hug. His words left his lips as naturally as all the other times before.

“Whatcha guys doing?”

Happy cried out, “Natsu!” but he barely heard his partner as he felt a familiar pair of brown eyes staring at his face. It was Lucy, peering up at him with that concerned look she always wore. 

“Where have you been? I was looking all over for you after the dance, but you were gone.”

She blinked and when Natsu turned he felt that familiar sensation, the second where his brain stopped functioning for just a moment. Those eyes would really be the death of him.

A wide grin crept up on his face, his canines flashing at her as he pulled them along forward. “I’ve been here weirdo. Don’t tell me you’re going blind now too,” he spoke before his gaze turned forward, “Come on! I heard there’s leftovers.”

“Aye!” Happy cheered as he flew from Natsu’s grip into the air, leaving him with just his arm around the blonde that nearly gave him heart palpitations. He felt the nervousness begin to swim in his gut, he knew she’d keep asking questions. The blonde blinked and to his surprise a soft laugh left her lips, her hand coming up to hide her face before she smiled.

“Yeah, I am still a bit hungry,” she breathed as she wiped her brow, “That dancing was really hard.”

Natu’s grin stretched even wider, if it was possible, as he raised his hand into the air. “To the leftovers!” he shouted, and his partners echoed his words before they dashed off. The task becoming a race in a few short moments that was soon joined in by Gray. Though, they didn’t get to destroy anything before Erza had stepped in with a giggling Wendy in tow. He grumbled as he rubbed the beginnings of what was soon to become an egg on his head, but a sweet melody lifted him from his troubles. He stared up to the smiling blonde and the grin came up on his face again.

This was his family, and he could still love Lucy. He didn’t need to change anything.

We’ll be together forever from now on