#i havent been able to draw anything for like a month i mean i do but it all looks kinda bad

[finn9134]

Blorbo chart i made while watching the lupin crossover movie with a friend yesterday. I stand by green eyes heiji. Realized i misinterpretted the love them/hate them thing but yk what i mean

Template by @/deadbeatescape on twitter/x

[nalhegrande]

mm I'm glad I changed job and I knew that it will be different but I did not account for feeling *this* bad with one of coworkers. her tone of speech makes me feel so damn upset its eating me for hours after which is not healthy for me at all. she is answering work-related questions, she explains things, so she is helpful, but the damn *tone* she uses, makes it sound like I am so stupid to ask this stuff (I worked for a week at that moment), or giving off energy "why do I need to say this stuff", or straight up sounding angry why am I asking something. even tho she does reply.

yesterday I had a situation that I went to ask her (in name of other department person) about a thing that I thought was received from her, and I wanted to ask more details about it. she replied with annoyed tone that she does not know what this thing is, she is from different department and she does not know and why should she know and had a whole rant about it. then made an attempt to check detail of that thing but she said she isnt sure is it actually correct. so like. she did answer what she knew and made an attempt to help more. but the WAY she said and did all this was just. disheartening. made me feel stupid for asking. made it feel that she does not want to be bothered at all. which makes me really upset bc I am new here. so ofc I want to ask and already on my own feel bad that I do not know things despite knowing its silly.

also yesterday I actually made an attempt to talk with someone else about her, bc I wanter to check how is she like. and I was telling this girl about how I did not learn anything about the thing from her, and asked "is she always so unhelpful?" to later elaborate how I mean her tone/behaviour. but it turned out that I did not had time to elaborate. smth came up and I couldnt explain more what I wanted to ask. our talk ended on that. and I was thinking "oh okay she probably will not tell this to the person in question, I will be able to explain later" except she did. she told her. and so later I got told off by her bc how could I call her unhelpful when she helped me by telling all she knew, and that it was very rude of me and not in place. which I cannot deny - she did try to help. but I got 1. baffled how I really did not expect that girl to actually tell her this. like. like???? I cannot even put it into words. I am so upset, why did she think its okay to tell her that. 2. I am certain that now a gossip went into the wild how I accused her of being unhelpful when she is helping. what a rude gal this new person is. so I am additionally now struck by fear of everyones perception of me now.

additionally, general task that I received as in "as I work here I need to complete this" is to review and rewrite if needed all instructions that were written by people I am to work with. including her. heck, I started with her. and at one point as I was asking questions regarding instructions, she raised her voice on me and went on a whole rant about how she does not want instructions to be changed. when she did not even seen how exactly I am rewritting them. she havent actually seen my work, but screamed at me for "destroying what was written by people who were here before her". when I am just trying to do my job and it really sucks to be put down for it *especially when she didnt even see it*. it was only bc of questions that I asked.

so yeah. I have been in a really low mood bc of her treatment and I am not long enough here to know how am I supposed to handle her. is she always like this? is it just a rough time? or is she permamently a bitch? a month here passes and I already am crying bc of this. is this normal? ofc not. but first I need to establish is it truly solely how I feel and should I work on myself first so I can know where and how to draw the line.

[lawboyao3]

im just giving an update since its been like 6 months

i havent worked on the story at all n i dont see that changing. i cant write at all or rly do anything. i actually mean that im not mentally capable. i dont have the mental or emotional energy to really do anything, so if i try to write or do any of my former hobbies, i either literally cant think at all, or i immediately get stressed and exhausted and ragequit. i havent forced myself to write bc im not a masochist, but when ive forced myself to draw its always just made me miserable, yielded dogshit results, and ruined my day. i cant think at the level i used to, or do anything at the level i used to. my brain has kind of rotted in my skull and turned me useless.

so what ive been doing is sitting around boredly every day waiting to see if my brain repairs itself. which i have no clue if it ever will or not. but by this time next year ill graduate and have to get a fulltime job, and when that happens ill never be able to do anything again. i didnt have the energy for a full workday even when my brain worked. i could barely do a single thing besides working or sleeping. so next year my life will be over and i dont think ill ever be able to write again.

even if my brain gets better ill still be too slow at writing n take months to finish a single chapter. so unless a miracle happens or i get rich and hire a ghostwriter i feel like things wont work out. im not abandoning the story yet just in case, but if i do then ill post the full notes for the rest of the story so there is an ending. at this point i really just wish someone else would write it for me. i dont even want to write. it feels like torture 99% of the time and u have to rewrite everything 900 times just to make it not shit, not even actually good just not shit. its so horrible that the only reason i want this story finished is so ill never have to write again

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi hi!! May i please request a romantic genshin and hsr matchup? I prefer to be matched with a guy <3

My pronouns are she/her and Im a girl. im 4'10 (i havent grown since i was 12 so uhm😭😭😭) My MBTI is INTP, 4w5. My friends describe my personality to be cat-like. i bite people i like for example on their arm, cheek, neck etc etc. i like knocking things over, being affectionate, and am sleepy. (this is super ironic because my name is Faline and it means feline/cat-like!!) i like getting into trouble in and out of school (i may or may not be banned from a few places ahaaaa-) i can be stupid and reckless uhmmm.. im definetly not smart. My mood changes very, very quickly. i can go from 0-100 real quick. i am not afraid to say what i want. Im quite loud around the people i like and dont like affection from people im not close with.

My aesthetic is best described as the downtown girl aesthetic. My hair is basicaly like ochako urarakas from MHA soo theres that. i have brown eyes and my skin is a light brown. (we love growing up in an asian household and wanting to be whiter ahaaaa.. :( )

My favourite color is purple. i LOVE purple so much its such a pretty colour i could talk about it forever. i love drawing, photography, baking, watching anime and k-dramas, listenin to music and shopping!! im definetly more of a nighttime person and i love animals. animals over people anyday.

I don’t like school… I’m not a very good student and the best part of school is seeing my friends, for sure. i never pay attention in class and end up walking out the class, zoning out or drawing allover my notes or on the table. i skip classes alot too.

I think that’s all, thank you in advance!

Hi Faline! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Itto can appreciate your dislike for school. I don’t think he’s been to school a day in his life. Everything he knows has either been taught to him by Granny Oni or he’s learnt by himself.

Likes your catlike behaviour. He thinks it’s sweet, even if you do bite him sometimes. Just be warned, he will bite you back. He knows he has sharp teeth so he’ll never bite hard enough to hurt though.

Itto absolutely would watch k-drama with you! He would get so invested in the story and characters.

The height difference! Itto loves giving you piggybacks if that’s something you’re comfortable with. Especially if you’re at an event like a festival. He’ll lift you up so you can see over the crowd.

He would love eating anything you bake. He’s convinced your baking is the best in all of Teyvat. He’d love to help out sometimes but it’s up to you whether you want the company and the mess…

Please take photos of him. He’s oblivious half the time so you’d get really good candid shots. You might also be able to sell some of them to the news after he gets arrested for the third time in a month.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Dan Heng doesn't know how to feel about your cat-like tendencies. On one hand, he finds them cute and endearing. They’re a part of who you are as a person and he wouldn’t change that for the world.

But when you knock something off his desk for the fourth time that day, he really wonders…

Okay, this guy absolutely sees gentle bites as a form of affection. He’ll return any bites you give him.

He’s so glad you like night time. He’s a night owl and stays up very light almost every night. He likes his own company but it’s night having someone else there with him when he’s reading late at night.

Because of his passion for the archives, Dan Heng will do his best to get you interested in learning. He can appreciate that school doesn’t always teach things in the best way.

But he’d be grateful if you spend some time with him learning about a variety of different topics.

[mostly-comfort]

hello again!

i've been able to dm sideblogs in the past/people have been able to dm mine, but maybe that changed, weird and sad lmao oh well :')

i'm happy to continue in asks then ^-^

pete's hair is indeed streaky in some art! they're trauma streaks, pete got caught by hunters (shifting phases' premise), and he survived and escaped with the help of his friends, but not before having his whole life destroyed :)

pre trauma, pete's hair is solid auburn and kept short, he still has the jaw scar

post trauma, he's covered in scars and his hair is streaky, it also grows out because he cant cut it and wont let anyone cut it because he has big issues about the sight of blades and their proximity to him :) (in terms of scars, 95% (i say that coz i havent written out the Torture yet so i might do some fun unexpected unforseeable things ehe) of the ones that are relevant to bust-shots are already mapped out on the ref sheet :) )

and! indeed he has lil teefs! they're not big or long or anything, but they're definitely there and definitely pointier and sharper than a human's canines :) i drew them a few months back, im a stranger to teeth so everything may look right on the surface, but there may be technical issues 8) his teeth appear normal aside from the canines, and then he's got those standard, surprisingly pointy human pre(?)molars, but the canines just make em look extra sharp lmao

oh! and claws, pete has claws, i have 0 idea if you or i mentioned, or if it's on his profile (i cant save an ask as a draft unfortunately and i cant open tabs on the mobile so im really living ip to my name lmao), but he has claws! they are very fun :) they look and grow like regular human nails except that they're very much in the shape of sharp claws with a sharp edge. what he used to do, again, when he could stand the sight of blades was, very literally carve them into the shape of human nails. he can't do that after his trauma :)))))

i'm writing this out on mobile so im not entirely sure if i missed anything, so, if you have more questions or need some more specific deets, feel free to hit me up any time ^-^

also ty ^-^ it's pretty detailed because i may or may not obsess exclusively over this universe, boi, and cluster of concepts haha.... 8)

oh and btw, your boi looks *very* scrummy, poor thing suffering those functional cognitive issues, not a fun time :') thoughts.exe got uninstalled and he's having a hard time, but at least plants have his back <3 i bet he'd have a whole HEAP of emotion tho >:)

that's everything i can think of, good-timezone ^-^

aaaa thank you for all the info!! i found out that u can't dm with sideblogs if they're shared by 2 or more accounts, which is what i did in an attempt to move everything to a new account LOL

i'm very interested in drawing him post-trauma especially, i love how there's so many things, both internal and external, affected by his capture!

he wants to do his best 😭 he's the goodest boy idc what those mean humans said otherwise

ty again!!

[multifandom-traveler]

2. I think it's easier for me to draw forward. I'm getting better at facial profiles from most angles (except for top angles, and i havent even tried bottom angles yet). But when it comes to bodies, front-facing is definitely easier.

3. Eh... depends on what you mean by "little". I've been writing/trying to write stories ever since I was like... able to write stories and have ideas, pretty much. One recent idea I rebooted was/is kinda cheesy, but basically it's called Unexpected Royalty, if that gives you any ideas. I started it when I was like 12 and then dropped it for a while. The first draft (though unfinished) was a complete Disaster because I basically didn't follow a main plot point and threw in everything that came to mind. The reboot is going a lot better, still a little cheesy of course but it's focusing more on adventure and character development than drama and sitcom-vibes.

4. Sonic the freaking Hedgehog. I literally drew an oc with Shadow-like quills and it was super easy. tried drawing an oc with Sonic-like quills and gave up after like 30+ mins of JUST TRYING THE QUILLS. you'd think shadow is hard NOOOO ITS THE BLUE BLUR HIM FREAKING SELF.

5. literally like a 1-20 ratio I'm sure. Mostly cuz it's almost entirely oc art (and genderbends of the sonic characters because they've been living in mind rent-free for like a month now) and I know cringe culture is dead but I feel like I'd feel too vulnerable y'know?

8. I can't really say "lost interest" since a lot of my old stories do hold special places in my heart and feel nostalgic. There's a lot of stuff I want to work on but "lost interest" in the fact that I've hit a road block creatively/haven't made time to work on them/keep forgetting. But I can think of one that I was working on with a friend that we both dropped and haven't picked up again. It revolved around me and her as the main characters, and we time traveled to various times. If you ever watched Best Friends Whenever on Disney Channel, it was kinda like that. But instead of like, messing with our present in minor ways I think we just randomly were stuck traveling through and to random points in time-- this included not only times when we were alive but also times before that, iirc. Interesting idea but we never picked it back up.

10. I haven't had a lot of practice drawing clothing but totally either jackets or shirts/dresses with baggy sleeves. And definitely bandages, if that counts.

11. Usually listen to YT videos or music

12. Face. Definitely. Or maybe it depends on what I draw first? But seeing as that would usually be the face/head then I'll have to go with that.

15. My desk, in my bedroom. Or maybe anywhere else that I am if I brought a notebook with me and forgot/didn't bring my phone. Just a couple weeks ago I drew some ocs (well technically an oc and her genderbent counterpart) in a notebook of mine in a Mexican restaurant.

18. I can't remember much but one pencil sharpener I used just crapped out and we couldn't fix it. It had worked for like years before that (though that includes a long period of inactivity) but after I used it for like a month it just died suddenly

23. Yup. Lots of layers, usually. At least 2. 3 if I'm doing a background. more if needed. usually merge them in the end, makes it feel more organized ig.

24. I don't think this counts but usually if I'm drawing humans I need to trace a base. Like those draw the squad prompts and just anything I find on google images that I could use lol. Sometimes I have to do that with Sonic characters but it's becoming less and less the more I practice.

Ok that was really long but im done byeeee

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[magnoliamyrrh]

How do you deal with self-harm urges?

(tw talk of different things ive used to self harm)

i still struggle with it a lot of times still, with the urges that is, and every once in awhile i do relapse (sometimes less sometimes really bad), but thankfully ive been able to go months on end without doing it, or i think sometimes like a year and a half or maybe more? i started cutting when i was 12, so frankly im a bit impressed w myself for the times ive been able to stop after so many years. ive found thankfully that the longer you go without, the more the urges to keep doing it go down

and uhhh idk. several things i guess?

sometimes (often if its rly bad) ill scratch myself w my nails (not drawing blood just irritating the skin and it kinda hurts) and sometimes that makes it go away, its enough pain to calm me down without permanent damage. i know ppl say to use icecubes and ive tried a couple of times but it really doesn't work for me - glad it does for others. uhm ill try to go take really hot showers until i calm down, that tends to work. sometimes ill try to just,,,,, this may sound stupid but if something in particular triggers me and i feel the urge, i try to remain either physically paralized or try to distract myself w anything until it passes; harder said than done. listening to loud music in headphones also kinda helps w that sometimes. every once in awhile ill try to do something like tear apart paper or some other thing and sometimes that does something?

and tbh this isnt good but smoking cigarettes makes me do it a bit less. but like Do Not Do This, i actually consider cigarettes to be a MUCH Much worse form of self harm than a lot of cutting. because end of the day if youre careful, cutting leaves you with scars only. cigs can absolutely wreck your health long term and its a horrible addiction. just because its more socially acceptable than cutting doesnt mean its not more dangerous; ive actually had plenty of psychs and therapists agree w me on this one

hmm. ill try to go for a walk, if i can, until the worse of the urge passes. or alternatively i will go and drive around aimlessly listening to music until they pass. sometimes if the urge isnt super super strong, i also find that it helps to draw - ive been using vent art as a way to cope for years, and sometimes drawing cuts or scars on a representation of myself gets that urge a little bit out of me

....... i feel like doing psychadelics really helped me do this less and quit many times - they make you not really wanna hurt yourself and love yourself and take care of yourself better, while also dealing w the underlining issues and mechanisms which lead to the urge in the first place

....i try to keep in mind that it doesnt truly help. its not worth it. maybe it gives some temporary satisfaction or release, but it doesnt Really help. its a vicious cycle you enter in many times, when you start disliking yourself even more for cutting and feel even worse, and then you cut yourself again over that...... i try my best to keep in mind that punishing myself like that doesnt help anything and that i dont deserve it, and i try to keep in mind that taking out my emotional pain or frustration like that on myself doesnt really help either.... long term, it will just make it worse - and is that really what i want?

its good to learn too, how to not put yourself down for cutting once you do it or relapse, bc that just leads to spiraling. it happened, its okay, it is what it is, no need to feel bad over it or start throwing insults at yourself over it...... its hard, but it helps to try to be gentle with yourself

...something else that helps me do it less too at times is that lol, i have chronic pain. i am already in pain all the time - do i really want to add more on top of that? havent i had enough of the pain?........sometimes when ive relapsed its been a way to cope with the pain actually, to have control over when and how i feel pain and to feel a different kind of pain but.... tbh, after doing that enough times i just got fed up with it. pain is pain, and most days of my life i have plenty of it to deal with anyway..... also figured out that if i cut too much, it sets my nervous system on fire and it makes my chronic pain worse, so that's also a reason to not do it

.... i also try to not keep things i can cut with in the house - meaning that if i Really want to, ill have to drive to the store to buy blades, which i think is a good way to give yourself some time to maybe calm down or snap out of it or change your mind. Theres times when the urge is so strong and i just say fuck it and go buy them, but it takes more time and commitment to do that. This helped me bc theres been many times when i would have very likely cut if i had access to them, but bc i didnt and i didnt wanna do it bad enough to warrant a drive, i ended up not doing it....... this also works bc i dont personally cut with knives (even with the sharpest knives ive never been able to do it consistently and properly enough to feel satisfying, and i think my weak muscles and joints make it harder for me in particular, so i cant rly use them), meaning i have to rely on either pencil sharpener blades, or actual razor blades...... sometimes i think its better to buy pencil sharpeners bc, again, they make it harder (you have to take the time to take the pencil sharpener apart and take the blade out, and these blades go dull a lot quicker than razor blades - so the first one gives you more time to think it through and maybe stop and not do it, while the other one means you wont be able to do as much damage for as long of a time bc it will become harder and harder to cut)......... i also used to, when i was younger, cut with shaving razors (like the ones for legs) but this is something i grew out of because i really dont like the stinging and way it cuts the skin,,, so; yea, i think not keeping a supply of cutting things in the house helps a lot of times

..... sometimes its the dissociation that helps me, but thats not really something everyones brain does. but you can try to think of yourself as, lets say, your friend - if your friend felt like how you feel in that moment and wanted to cut, would you want them to? what would you tell them, how would you comfort them, and what would you suggest they do instead?

idk if any of this was helpful at all, sorry, but yea;; i think a combination of all of those things have helped me to quit many times, and... it really does get easier to not do it and to not think abt it as often the longer you go without doing it. also, sometimes it does help to call a hotline! not always, but ive done it a handful of times (mainly for combination of suicide + sh urges), and there were indeed times when i came across v caring and understanding ppl which helped talk me down - so this may be an option to think abt. id also say if you can, calling a friend can be helpful, its something ive done too

and pls, if youre gonna keep cutting dont put yourself down over it, but be careful 🌸 always clean whatever youre using to do it before and afterwards with either soap or alcohol, always check if theres rust on it and never use something that has rust or metal of a weird colour, and after you wash them, make sure they are dry and store them in a place which is dry. or better - throw them out. always clean your wounds afterwards with warm water, and when youre able to handle it later with soap and water so they dont get infected. and its best to cover up deeper cuts so they can heal better with bandaids or medical gauze. and please please dont cut in areas where there are a lot of important and sensitive veins and tendos (like the inner wrist) - even if youre being careful, you dont want to take the risk of damaging something important like that. and please, if it ever gets rly out of hand and its not closing up, its too deep, or it gets infected, go to a doctor or a medical facility near you

.... and.. try to be gentle with yourself 💗 its really hard but its important. and if youre trying to quit, ask why it is you cut in the first place (bc pain calms you down, control, masochism, a way to get out overwhelming emotions, comfort, a cry for help or attention, self punishment etc etc), and try to find a way to work on whats driving the cutting in the first place, or to find a less harmful way to achieve a similar goal - i think thats something that helped me long term

take care of yourself and be careful 🌺 and if its something u struggle w youself, know that it is possible to stop and that it does get easier

[insidiousclouds-2]

Note to self, prepare an entire month in advance if you're going to do an October challenge.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Sisters (Alec Volturi x Reader)

Here’s a little treat for you guys being so patient. Apparently this happens after a few months. I wrote this today. Yay progress! Although PLEASE keep in mind this doesn’t mean im jumping back into twilight. Consider this me dabbling. I havent actually been able to even finish a twilight fic nevermind write a complete one in one day. Thank you all for your patience. I hope this makes up for it. Heres hoping i can write for twilight again!

You didn’t have a clue as to what could have compelled your sister to lunge for Jane as she did. Jane turned on her heel and sprinted as fast as she could. Bella was in hot pursuit, her fierce gaze locked on the back of Jane's head. Bella was gaining speed as Alec was forced to watch the inevitable attack upon his sister. No matter how fast he moved, he wasn't quick enough. As his fear grew, time seemed to slow. 

Bella's arms were outstretched barely touching the back of Jane's cloak when her fingers slipped. Alec's jaw nearly dropped when he witnessed the reason why. Bella had pounced but you had pounced on Bella. Your newborn strength overpowered her own strength and speed as she was caught in your lunge. Your arms wound around her middle, teeth barred. It was enough for Jane to find safety with her brother, Felix and Demetri. Safety in numbers. 

As you landed on Bella and a fight ensued, Edward sprinted towards the two with a growl. Another flash of fear hit Alec. You were his target. Alec turned to Felix who dived forward as Alec did, hands outspread. His gift wouldn't be fast enough and luckily Felix had the right idea, as he got to Edward before Edward got to you and Bella. 

As the other members of either coven began to move forward, they found themselves submerged in Alec's mist. The mist twisted and coiled for the Cullen Coven as well as narrowly avoiding the guards. One by one, the Cullens dropped like flies. All but one. Jane grabbed Bella by the hair, Alec taking Bella's shoulders before the two forcefully threw Bella off of you. You had also been impacted by Alec's gift, rendered unable to defend yourself or know what was happening. 

Demetri and Jane wasted no time pursuing Bella whilst Alec hovered over you to check any damage. There was minimal cracks on one of your temples from a solid hook to the head but beyond anything other than his gift, you seemed fine. Alec quickly, nervously, moved your face on either side and checked your neck and waist. Nothing on either. 

Caged in by Jane and Demetri, Bella couldn't do anything.  However before much but Jane could step forward, Alec spoke up. "Don't." He told his sister. "Sister, we have done enough." Alec looked back at your blank expression. "No one needs to get hurt. I was hoping to draw your attention elsewhere." Jane looked over her shoulder to see how Alec was crouched over you. Bella moved to strike at Demetri but Felix quickly locked her arms behind her with a condescending and mocking smirk. His attention moved back to his coven mates. "What do you have in mind?" Jane asked as she walked towards Alec and looked down at you. Alec straightened. "They come with us. Can you believe it sister? Did you see that?" "I did, brother." She said smoothly. "You're certain?" Alec nodded. "I need answers and..." Alec looked to Bella who scowled at him. "...I don't think this would be the best environment or family."  Jane looked at her brother for a moment before she looked back at Bella. She walked towards Bella. "I trust with how much influence you have over your coven that you will be able to keep them in line when we go to leave. If not, your immortality has come to a very sudden end." Jane sent her a smug, sweet smile. Demetri moved to the other side of your body and moved to lift you. "You'll be busy enough retracting your gift. Should I expect a struggle when you lift your gift?" "Not from this one. I'll keep them down until we're back and have them in a safe place." Alec responded. He noticed how your hand lay limp, hanging away from your body. Alec took your hand and maneuvered it to rest across your stomach. Demetri moved towards the clearing with inhuman speed before waiting for his coven mates. 

Alec looked at the sprawled coven before him.  Felix looked at Bella with a small cheeky smile and nodded towards the bodies. Bella took the hint as Felix released his hold on her and she moved towards her husband. Her hand overlapping his as she glowered at the Volturi. "This certainly brings back memories doesn't it, brother?" Jane smiled as she looked at the coven sprawled along the ground. Alec smirked. "Fond memories indeed, sister." 

You blinked. The darkness had lifted from absolutely nothing to a dimly lit barred cell. The cold ground was now a cold stone floor. You weren't sure how much time passed- if any at all. "(Y/N)." A voice said quietly. A familiar one and your gaze snapped to the source. Alec looked at you through the bars and you hurried to a stand, growling over your panic. The woman on the other side of the bars beside him flinched slightly and focused on you. Alec sent her a look before looking back at you. "This is Renata." He said quietly. "A shield." You said with a clenched jaw. "Just for our protection. We can't have you attacking us. The bars won't hold newborns." Alec said smoothly. "Where am I!?" You snapped. "Volterra, Italy. You're in the castle." Alec replied. "Why am I here?" You demanded. "I have some questions." You scoffed. "So you couldn't just ask?" "No." Alec said flatly. "Calm down and I will explain myself." You huffed in response. "How do I know you won't hurt me?" You asked warily. "Because if I was going to, I would have. I don't have to bring you here to hurt you." Alec said simply. Your gaze shifted between Alec and Renata. 

Then Alec opened the cell and you inhaled sharply, taking a step back. He closed the cell behind him. "I won't hurt you. If you want Renata to ease her gift then I need you to show me that with whatever control you have, you won't attack me. She's taken away your fight or flight. The moment she releases it, your instincts will come back. So...if she does, will you stay calm with the knowledge we won't hurt you as long as you comply." You stared at him for a moment before you nodded who then sent a nod to Renata. She looked reluctantly at him but soon enough you felt what you could only describe as adrenaline. You were torn between lunging to him or diving for the cell door. However his words stayed in your head as he watched you like a hawk. 

You walked back until your back hit the wall and you slid down to the floor hugging your knees.  You barely caught the relief in Alec's quick smile. "Good." "Why are you being nice?" You asked quietly. "You never gave me the time of day before." "You saved my sister." Alec said. "I can't ignore that. After everything, I can't figure out why." Alec took a few steps closer but kept his distance so he stood in the middle of the cell. "I can't stop thinking about you." He began."I can't stop thinking about what you did." "Bella made a stupid decision. I dealt with it before it was too late." You replied. "As a newborn? I doubt that." Alec replied. "Newborns make stupid decisions despite everything. Many would argue they can't help it and always because its some kind of attack on them." You shook your head. "I couldn't let my sister..." You paused. "I couldn't let my sister do something that could get her killed. Even if that meant she hurt me instead." "I don't believe you." He said simply. You looked at him with confusion and slight annoyance. "I don't care if you believe me or not." "You're lying. I can see right through you." Alec argued. "Why do you care!?" You countered. "Because you didn't just save anyone, you saved my twin! I've seen you let her do many stupid things and never interfere but you did when it came to my sister." Alec's point caught you off guard. He really was always very observant. Alec crouched down moving closer ever so slightly. In many ways, Alec had you caged in. "I did it because I couldn't let her hurt Jane...and I couldn't let her hurt you." You admitted quietly. Alec's eyes widened slightly. "I couldn't explain it then or now. I just felt like if she attacked Jane, that would hurt you and that would be like she attacked me." "Because we're mates." Alec muttered. "It seems neither or us can ignore the bonds influence." "What do you mean?" You asked. "(Y/N), I got involved because your sister was going to hurt you. I couldn't guarantee you'd be safe if I left you there and I couldn't get what you did out of mind. So I took you with me. I did it without thinking twice." You stared at him. "But you hate me. You and Jane always have." "I didn't know you and I didn't hate you. I have a strong dislike for your sister but if anything I didn't like that, out of my free will, I was attached to you. It's always just been Jane and I. I accepted that long ago. You would change that and that was the one consistent thing in my life." Alec shuffled closer. "I thought you would hate me and so I tried to convince myself I didn't care. That if I did it enough, the bond would go away." You looked down and Alec spoke lowly. "Look at me." Alec said quietly and you let his gaze. "You protected my sister and I won't ignore that. You care enough to..." Alec trailed off. "I won't keep you here, just..." Alec let out a sigh. "Don't break my heart." He said finally. You looked at him with slight uncertainty. "Then don't break mine." You replied. Alec smiled. "So we can call it quits with the fighting?" You asked. "I suppose so." Alec replied with amusement in his eyes. "If you can trust me that is." He reached out his hand. 

You looked at him for a moment before taking it as you both rose to a stand. "Let's head upstairs to anywhere that isn't the dungeons." He said pulling you by the hand and nodding to Renata. "Wait, I'm in the dungeons?" You frowned in confusion. "Why do you still have dungeons!?" Alec let out a huff of laughter. "Come along, (Y/N)." He suddenly halted. "Oh, and another thing," He began. You were stunned into silence as Alec cupped your jaw and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "What...what's that for...?" You asked. "For saving my sister."

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

[likeadog]

you have not missed out on ANYTHING, i promise you. youre only 20, you still have so much time and YES, even to do all the "early 20s" stuff you think you missed out on. you havent even started your early 20s yet! you have time to grow and do all the things you want to do :) the internet might make you think your life is over at 20 but its not, youre young and people who say life is short are liars. life is long, and you havent failed (you never will).

yeah, its not that i think its like....the end of my life or whatever i know most people really only get settled way later...i mean hell, my dad only recently really started living, i think. i havent ever seen him this happy

its really more about iunno. like missing the tutorial or whatever. i regret not spending more time with other people as a kid, i regret not going to prom junior year (i was going to do it senior year, but...yknow), i regret trying to structure my life around whats "most pragmatic" and not getting to really enjoy things. the last three years have turned me into a neurotic mess if i wasnt already one, but unlike high school, i feel like my ability to be productive has gone way down (ive barely been able to draw for months atp...between strain injuries and the other health shit and just fatigue, i used to push stuff out once a week), im sad we didnt get to do our senior year art show, stuff like that

and i kinda feel like im making the same mistake-- don't get me wrong, i like my coworkers and the classmates ive met, but i barely spend time with anyone my own age. i barely MEET anyone my own age. i barely know anything about what there is to do in the town i live in. i dont know any campus events, and when i joined a club, i ended up being unable to attend because of work and had trouble speaking to anyone. ive tried shit like bumble and tinder, but even when i meet someone nice its hard to keep up. i know we all talk about being chronically online or whatever, but outside of my job, i really have trouble talking to people, even if it's just the cashier at the store.

sorry, this is a really nice ask, and i really do appreciate it-- its just not that im scared of losing my youth. i just dont want to live like this right now, and i cant rely on the promise of things getting better when i feel like all ive done is get even worse

[ammerynth-moved]

wow uh. i really have been super lazy about posting art recently, havent i

it’s not like i havent been drawing, it’s just that it’s all been commission work and for obvious reasons i spend longer on that than i do on other stuff, bc i want it to be as good as possible. but the reason i am where i am with art today is bc i started posting it online. i’m busy with school and other things, but i’m going to try to post at least twice a week from now on. i feel sort of bad too that ive reblogged a few of those request posts recently but i havent actually done any of them yet - the reason i like them in the first place is bc they give me something relatively easy to draw! and i like doing requests, i know not everyone is able to afford commissions and i want to make people happy even if the only way i can do that is through my art!! unfortunately i can’t do every request i get and i also can’t guarantee the level of work i’ll put into a request - paid stuff always takes priority, but if i didn’t want to do requests i.. wouldn’t accept them at all fskjdhgk

there’s not really a point to this post i guess, just uh. kind of felt like i should say it properly, not just in the tags of something else.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 4

a/n: uwuwuwuwu @animesportboys​ and i were just talking about this and my heart was just bursting at this thought 😭

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

also requests are currently closed right now since i have like nearly 30 to finish so please be patient with me and wait for me to finish it all and until then i can open them up again. however, dont stop sending me cute stuff okay?  🥺

summary: its the time of the month for seijoh’s manager 🥺

@ yn when shes extra moody and mean during that time and does this every time she hears anything even come out of the boys’ mouth

oh dear

so basically

it’s,,,,,, a natural thing that most girls go through every month for more than half of their lives and its absolutely D R E A D F U L

the boys ofc knew what the hell a period was bc hello health class so they knew you would become this,,, other version of yourself

youd be moodier, childish, and easy to annoy and snap to everyone

but you would quickly realize how you’re acting then be all regretful and teary and cry easily and then youd forget about it then start the cycle again

you’d stick your tongue out at them and tease them mercilessly, making them run even more laps and pushing them harder

‘I SEE THOSE ARMS SHAKING, IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ADD 15 MORE TO THAT ROUTINE’

‘WHAT?!’

‘IF I SEE YOU EVEN A STEP BEHIND KINDAICHI, YOU WILL BE RUNNING 8 MORE LAPS KUNIMI’

‘NOO!!!!’

‘CHECK YOURSELF OUT ONE MORE TIME, YAHABA, I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES’

‘HAVE MERCY!!!!’

dear god they hated it

when it was time, they would protect themselves and work even harder and be more perfect to make sure you couldnt see their faults and point them out and try and kill them

it was like war for everyone

but they didnt know the exact date it started so they didnt really know when to start preparing for war until it came

this time, you didnt either

you didnt even know you were starting as you were extra busy booking the buses for away comps and collecting and emailing teachers for any missed homeworks for the team

so when it did start,,,

oh dear part 2

it wasnt really something you found out when you woke up that morning but you noticed you must be getting close since you were feeling extra cranky and you havent even been awake for more than an hour

nothing really happened throughout the day so you were just thinking that you didnt get enough sleep last night so you were just tired and wanted to sleep

but then it happened

you were standing next to iwa, reviewing his spike percentages when you shifted your weight to the other leg and then your eyes widened

your water broke

i saw this tiktok of this one girl and she was about to start filming with her friend when her eyes widened and her friend knew immediately and her caption was ‘my water broke’

iwa was worried as heck on to what was going on with you and even followed your gaze to see it on the wall and nothing out of the ordinary

‘y/n?’

‘oh god’

you mumbled and you wanted to run but you were too scared that you leaked and probably have an obvious redness on your white track pants

yep it def was your time bc you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you sniffled, embarrassed and upset for this to happen now, of all times

then oikawa tooru bursted through the doors

iwa, taking his eyes off of you and to the captain, started to yell at him until he noticed the brunette’s flushed face and panting form, hunched over as he gripped on the door handle with the plastic bag

you, too busy trying to think of a way to get out of there like deciding to waddle or to just crawl, didnt see oikawa as he approached you

the team paused and watched as he took a black hoodie from the plastic bag and wrapped it around your waist

‘hmm, y/n-chan, better get dressed so we can go now’

he hummed and you snapped out of your panic and looked up at him with watery eyes

‘oikawa-san’

you whispered and he nodded, eyes knowing what was going on

‘coach, theres a planetarium special tonight’

oikawa shouted without tearing his gaze away from you and coach irihata instantly knew, knowing the code that oikawa came up with when you became a part of the family team

the elder coach made a noise of agreement and oikawa didnt wait to up and carry you in his arms and waved to the team while pushing your head in his chest so you can hide

‘work hard everyone!’

‘oi, shittykawa! what the hell-!’

but an intense side-eye from his best friend shut him up and he knew something happened so he didnt say anything since he trusts oikawa to fix it

‘i trust you will take care of them, iwa-chan’

iwaizumi nodded firmly before shouting to resume back to practice and he himself went back to the line for spikes

you were carried to the bathroom so you could change into your emergency undies and pad and after you did your business, oikawa noticed you uncomfortably waddling towards him so he took you back into his arms

oikawa continued to carry you like his bride down the street towards an unknown destination, humming a children’s show tune that takeru loved to watch, while you maintained curled around yourself, partly due to the shame but also from the pain in your abdomen

you wiped the few stray tears that spilled past your eyes and oikawa chuckled when he noticed you aggressively wipe them off

‘hmm, y/n-chan, you shouldnt do that to yourself. it irritates your eyes and the skin around it so gently dab it next time, kay?’

you nodded, burrowing back to his chest and breathing in his scent

french toast

he smelled like french toast as the smell of caramel and vanilla wafted into your nose

‘howd you know’

you mumbled against the fabric of his jacket

oikawa stopped his humming and replaced it with a chuckle

‘oh, y/n-chan. oikawa-san is a reliable senpai, dont you know? i got a tracker! just for you!’

he answered and your eyes moved from his arm to his smile and you gripped his jacket tighter, fingers curled around it as if it was your lifeline

‘thank you, oikawa-san’

your words of appreciation made oikawa’s heart thump and he faltered a little, blush creeping up his neck, but he fought it down, covering it up with a smirk

‘you should be, y/n-chan! girls would kill to be you right now!’

you rolled your eyes at the return of his cocky attitude but you knew better

the real oikawa tooru was under that mask

turns out, he carried you to his home as his house was the closest while yours had to be taken by a bus

thankfully his parents were out and his sister and nephew were in a trip in tokyo that you had the house to yourselves without anyone asking questions that might make you uncomfortable and them misunderstand

he shut the door with his foot and made his way up the stairs with ease, his strength truly impressing you at that moment, before settling you down on his bed

it wasnt even on purpose but you curled yourself on his blanket, head buried in his pillow

his heart combusted and tooru had to look away or else he wouldve jumped on you and coddled you forever

instead, he quickly ran over and knelt down under his desk to reach for the box that he has prepared for you

‘y/n-chan, i never knew your pattern until last month so i was able to prepare for you now’

you looked up from your position on the bed and sat up enough to see him standing there, grinning with a mint green box

‘wh-what is that?’

you asked and he shuffled over, sitting next to you

‘this, is the y/n care love box! this special box was created by yours truly with everything you want and need during this dreadful week. theres your favorite food, warm socks, coupons you can spend like watching movies and eating ten tubs of ice cream while we talk shit about the boys’

he listed, gripping the box nervously 

‘so? do you like it?’

he looked away from the box and to you but his smile slipped into a panicked one when he saw you silently crying and biting your lip to keep the sobs in

‘y-y/n-chan! i-its okay if y-you dont like it! o-oikawa-san can-’

‘no!’

you cut him off and lunged to hug him with all your might

hehe all might

E A T   T H I S

‘i love you so much, oikawa-san! so much! thank you!’

you sobbed into his neck and he tightly hugged you back, lifting you so you could comfortably sit on his lap straddle him if you want me to be straight forward

oikawa gently moved so he was leaning against the wall that his bed was pressed against while you were pressed against his warmth

his fingers were drawing small circles on your back and whispering corny jokes or puns that made you giggle and laugh and occassionally, he would kiss your nose and you would whine at the ticklish feeling

eyes fleeting around the room, your eyes settled back on the box and you reached out, wanting to grab it until oikawa beat you to it and snatched it for you then placed it on your hold

‘whats inside, oikawa-san?’

you cutely mumbled, sitting comfortably back on his thighs so you could open the box in front of you

oikawa laughed

‘just open it and figure it out yourself, y/n-chan’

you pouted at his tease but smiled widely when you revealed the contents inside

‘oikawa-san!’

his eyes followed your surprised expression and his hands gripped your waist

‘you like it?’

he whispered and you nodded, looking back up at him and kissing his cheek, his 

‘youre so sweet, oikawa-san! like-like this candy bar! howd you know i like this?’

you held up the treat and he shrugged

‘i keep seeing you get it whenever we go to the store’

you continued to sift through the things, seeing a dvd of your favorite movie, a f/c heating pad, a note that said your favorite ice cream was in the fridge, a bag of your favorite chips, fluffy socks, the goodies

you didnt even notice yourself crying again, only realizing it when there were wet spots beneath you

oikawa saw this and he quickly but gently put the box to the side and cradled your face with both of his hands, softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs

‘aw, dont cry, my little baby. princesses should never cry’

you sniffled and choked a laugh

‘hah, n-not a baby. j-just hor-monal’

you complained and oikawa snickered but shook his head then kissed your nose again

‘youre my baby’

you didnt have it in you to complain so you went back to snuggling into him

oikawa squeezed you and went back to drawing the circles on your back and he felt you relax into his touch and slump against his form, slowly starting to snore

your head rested on his shoulder and he turned slightly to watch your eyes flutter and nose scrunch when a strand of your hair fell on it

his heart continued to beat faster and faster and it showed by the way his fingers shook as he carefully lifted the hair away from you

he slowly bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead before laying you down to sleep more comfortably

‘good night, princess’

he sweetly placed a last kiss on your cheek before getting up to go prepare your heating pad for when you wake up

the next few days were possibly the best period days youve ever had

maybe because it was oikawa telling the team that you were in,,,,, satan’s domain currently and they should be careful with you so they tried their best to lift the weight and burden off of your shoulders

however,,

the next day after the incident,,,

they still didnt know what was wrong with you and oikawa forgot to text the gc about your condition so they were still unknowing

like today

during your classes, you were feeling off, almost nauseous but eating little bits of your chocolate treats were helping you get through until lunch

ofc kunimi noticed bc hellow he sits next to you and he doesnt pay attention during class so hes been watching you sneak little bites so the teacher doesnt see and ducking under your book

he was just amused with the way your eyes would widen if you thought the teacher caught you

kindaichi and kunimi and you usually ate lunch together at your classroom since you three only got to hang out as first years during lunch

so they know you usually have a bento with you and have a general idea of how much you eat

and kunimi thought since you ate all those chocolates earlier, you wouldnt eat as much food but then he saw you scarf down your bento, eat 2 more bags of chips and was finishing last chocolate bar

kindaichi,,,, wasnt even finished with his own bento and was watching you, amazed, at how easily you ate all of it

they didnt say anything since they thought you just didnt eat dinner last night but even during the walk towards the gym for after school practice, you were complaining that you were hungry and was eating another chocolate bar

they thought something was truly wrong bc you were eating so much more than usual

kunimi watched you chew on it as you opened the gym door and still ate even when you were talking to mattsun about his jump height

‘man, you sure are hungry, aren’t you, y/n? thats like your fifth chocolate bar today’

kunimi teased, grabbing a ball to spike but he froze, seeing you with the coldest and angriest look hes ever seen

you blinked at him, grip tightening on the treat, and mattsun slowly backing away from you

you advanced towards the blep boy, treat already forgotten and shoved to be held by mattsun 

despite your shorter height than kunimi, he trembled slightly as you looked up at him

‘are you calling me fat, kunimi? are you? am i fat? do you think im ugly? im a piggie?’

you ranted and slowly started crying, making kunimi frantically scramble to stop you before the other upperclassmen see or worse, oikawa-san

‘y/n-wait-no!-um’

‘y/n-chan?’

kunimi shut his eyes tightly in fear at the deadly sweet voice of his captain and kindaichi and mattsun sent a quick prayer to their fellow teammate before he was going to get killed

‘uh oh, i think we’d have to start looking for a replacement for kunimi’

makki, who just arrived, teased making kindaichi fearfully look at him

‘eh?!’

‘oh, you first years have never seen oikawa mad, have ya? well, you’ll get front seat of it!’

mattsun clapped him in the back making him gulp

you werent sobbing but you were definitely crying, tear tracks quickly being wetted by the numerous amount of tears that fell

kunimi scrambled to his knees and folded himself, forehead resting on the floor by his hands

‘I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DONT KILL ME! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FIND MERCY IN YOURSELF AND FORGIVE ME, Y/N-SAMA!’

it was certainly a sight to see

normally calm and collected and chill and relaxed hippie kunimi begging to be forgiven

oikawa stepped forward but you quickly felt the change of your mood, feeling bad for your boy and scrambling to pull him back up

‘oh kunimi-kun! dont kneel like that! the floor is too hard and might give you knee pain!’

it was like whiplash

iwa stepped in the gym and saw the team’s confused and bewildered expressions and saw you, kunimi, and oikawa and he shook his head

this aint even half of bad as he has seen

oikawa gently took you away from kunimi and held you to him instead, giving you a smile, to which you returned, and looked at kunimi, a deadly glint in his eye

‘what happened, y/n-chan?’

the tone of his voice sent a chill to run down everyone’s spines and even iwa, the boy who’s seen this a handful of times, shivered and nervously watched oikawa, ready to jump in

but you just blinked, completely unaware of the change of atmosphere

‘oh, um, i overreacted. i was eating too much food today and mustve annoyed him or something’

you sheepishly mumbled but oikawa was having none of it

‘no, its fine. youre literally bleeding out as we speak! dont feel the need to validate yourself!’

he lightly scolded while you hung your head low and continued to apologize but he gently bonked your head before scolding you again

the team definitely knew now that you were in that,,,, time and they definitely knew now, especially kunimi, that even if youve seen oikawa mad, youd think that the devil was more merciful than him when it relates to the topic of you

a/n: i swear to GGGOOOOODDDDDD im an oikawa whore who cant seem to stop writing for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[worldend]

having depression is so boring just becuz im mentally unwell it means that im also unable to do anything else so im just bored all the time. i havent been able to genuinely draw anything in 2-3 months. i hate watching videos. like what else am i supposed to do

[remade-stopframevevo]

can you tell us more about fawnstar? he is epic

he is pretty epic in a nuclear explosion kind of way

the strategy of answering oc asks by just talking until i couldnt anymore seemed to work pretty well last time so im just going to do that again. ive also been putting this ask off for too long cuz i knew it was going to take forever to answer LOL, i will note though if some things dont make sense theres a good chance im just dancing around spoiling things because hes One of Those types of ocs, you can still ask about certain things (the way im typing this has the 3 times ive said the word things lining up and its really throwing me off) but theres no guarantee i’ll be able to answer them, at least truthfully (theres like a 50% chance im going to intentionally lie about shit when answering this ask btw. just so you know <3)

anyway, fawnstar (he/they nonbiney; no last name, groveclan leaders have their surnames revoked upon leadership) is groveclan’s leader and has been for about *papers shuffling sfx* four-ish years now but dont take that as final because i just realised i dont like the age they wouldve been when they became leader lmfao

fawnstar doesn’t have any known surviving biological family. his mother, eveningeye (she/her), died two years after he became leader and was given a brief and detached funeral. their biological father was a kittypet (which is also where they got The Mane Genetic from) although fawnstar was never told that and to this day doesnt know, not that they care either. also *inserts pic of eveningeye i dont remember even drawing*

fawnstar was made leader after the previous leader, buckstar (he/him tom, also important note: groveclan leaders are chosen at birth and are named after the current leader. this is a tradition that ended with fawnstar), was killed in an ambush. around half a day after buckstar had left camp and not returned, fawnstar - fawnfur at the time - who had been in and out of camp sporadically for the past 2 months, had returned to camp alone in the midst of literally dying, said some incomprehensible shit about rogues and collapsed in the medicine cat den and was left under the care of marblepaw whilst half the clan went out looking for buckstar or any signs of rogues. buckstar’s body was never found, although rogue scent was detected on the outskirts of groveclan’s territory. as a result of this incident, the clans have become much more unforgiving and hostile toward rogues.

as the search for buckstar or any rogues was going on, marblepaw had officially declared fawnfur as dead. no one’s ever let marbleheart live down the fact they declared a cat dead only for said cat to get back up three minutes later, but they still stand by the fact that there would’ve been no way for a fatal neck wound like that to just fix itself, or for them to fix it either.

after the incident, fawnfur became leader and appointed cranecloud (who passed away about... 2 years ago from present day) as their deputy. cranecloud had to do most of the work for the first 3 weeks as fawnstar took time to physically and mentally recover from the event, their voice never fully recovered and four years later they still permanently sound like they need to clear their throat. they never really recovered mentally either.

anyway! that fun stuff aside, fawnstar is a very, very very very very lenient leader to an irritating extent to his clanmates who actually care about the warrior code, ie the hopeheart thing and how when one of his clanmates openly brought in a half floodclan kit his reaction was to shrug and go, “not my problem”. fawnstar’s only concern with the warrior code is avoiding any conflict with the other clans, to the point where he’s pushed his boundaries with each of them far enough that he’s figured out how each will react toward a public break in the code and who he’s safest to fuck up with.

speaking of the clan he’s safest to fuck up with, floodclan and groveclan have a very amicable relationship. this is more of a floodclan thing so i’ll talk more about it when i get to them/the leader, but floodclan has a very... inhabitable territory during the winter. long story short it gets flooded when the rain gets to its worst who’d have thunk it in a place where “flood” is in the name, floodclan’s way of dealing with this is splitting the clan in two and sending half of them to groveclan, who’s camp is on higher ground, until the rain passes since the Still Habitable part of the clan is too small to hold *papers shuffling sfx 2* ~26 cats all at once. usually the deputy and leader would take it in turns to visit each year, but shadowstar (he/she/they tom), floodclan’s current leader, is almost always the one to visit, unless there’s a new deputy who hasn’t taken the lead on the trip before.

there have been challenges to fawnstar’s leadership and how he’s running the clan in the past, but none ended well. despite his apparent lack of care toward anything, fawnstar is still... a very big and very intimidating cat, and a very openly “if you fuck with me im going to crush you like a bug” type of cat. he’s not dictator-like in any way, he doesn’t care enough to be, but any standoffs he’s been made to have against his own clanmates have ended in said clanmate being almost literally backed into a corner and forced to back down.

additionally they’re a very scary cat to have to come into contact with in battle. they don’t take part in them often in the rare occurences they have to happen, but groveclan has a heavy focus on training their warriors to be as effective and strong as possible which is also applied to cats who are Assigned Leader At Birth as fawnstar was. fawnstar was personally given very extreme training, and it’s one of the few things they keep from their younger life and actively makes an effort to keep in the shape they are, even despite their age. oh theyre also very scary because of the apparent immortality and not caring about pain thing! thats scary too.

anyway jesus i just noticed how long of an uninterrupted wall of text this is. im not done but here’s a warrior age fawnstar to break it up a little

to talk more in length about his relationships with others since i havent done it very specifically already heres a few i can think off of the top of my head:

rainwatcher is fawnstar’s deputy and adopted son who they took in after banishing his biological mother on grounds of neglect. even in adulthood they’re still very close. some groveclan residents think it’s a total joke that in the first election for deputy they’ve ever done it’s just a ~coincidence~ the leader’s son wins but fawnstar still refutes there would have been literally no way to fake a winner, they werent even the one counting. if anything fawnstar would have been more comfortable with someone else coming out on top, it’s not that they think rainwatcher is a bad deputy, but they’d rather anyone else in the clan be in such a “precarious” rank than their own son.

marbleheart... does not like fawnstar at all... i feel like it would be very easy to be furious (and terrified) at someone who not only seemingly died and got back up, but made sure everyone thought you were an idiot who was “hallucinating” it. there’s other reasons marbleheart doesn’t like fawnstar but you know 💅 that’s their business *touch tone telephone starts playing, but anyways*

they also have a pretty close relationship with silvermoon (she/her molly), floodclan’s deputy. i’ll talk more about silvermoon when i talk about her in her own post (she IS little ms protagonist herself after all), but silvermoon has been visiting during every winter migration to groveclan since she was a kit and has come to view fawnstar as some weird uncle figure, which is also encouraged (for lack of better word since its 8am right now and i cant think anymore) by shadowstar, silvermoon’s mentor, since he has a.. fairly close relationship with fawnstar too

i know you want me to talk about fawnstars relationship to shadowstar now after saying what i just said and im intentionally not going to <3 you will simply have to ask or wait <3

less specifically, fawnstar is typically very distant from his clanmates, apart from frequently visiting the nursery. it’s one of the only times he makes an effort to leave the clan’s garden (ill talk about what i mean by garden some other time its a territory thing lol) apart from gatherings (and seemingly wandering out into the night sometimes, but that’s his business, i guess...), he’s very watchful over the nursery and the kits and cares very deeply for each of them. arguably the only rule in the warrior code they care for is the one about protecting any and all kits.

anyways, theres definitely more but my brain isnt letting me remember other things to talk about so heres some fun little trivia facts

they have a pet family of snails in the clans garden

this story takes place in the same universe where the canon clans exist in a “what if we took the clans and pushed them (made new ones) somewhere else” way but key figures in clan history are still remembered. one time someone remarked to fawnstar, “hey, youre orange like that firestar guy apparently was” and its the hardest fawnstar had laughed in literally years

they’re gay in a “he never married” way. dont worry about what i mean by this

their least favorite ~historical figure~ is brokenstar, for obvious reasons. if he could he’d kill him three times.

he has adhd

ok thats all i have for now! feel free to ask me about anything here but ive only been awake for like 3 hours and also im very hungry so if any of this is incomprehensible it is simply not my problem!!! thank you for asking about my little war criminal!!!

[cosmiccstuff]

“Ten years after the canonical events of Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel Pines are reunited with their great uncles for one last adventure across the world. Joined by Pacifica, now a close friend of the twins and romantic partner to one of them, as well as Mr. Mahina, a hearty boat captain who has been travelling with the Stans for a few years, the Pines family must solve the world’s mysteries that nobody else would dare to decipher, make sure the dangers of the past are no longer there to harm them, and kick complete ass while doing so.”

hi my name is zachariah and I made a cringe au for my cringe middle school interest... its not really an au its kinda just a theoretical gravity falls season 3 so um. yeah I have been working on these for like a month and im just glad to post it at this point sjhfjdsjf

more notes under the cut!! also reblogs not likes uwu

-since I know thisll never exist and therefore I can do what I want, this would definitely not be a Y-7 show on disney (fuck disney actually alternate universe me is helping alex hirsch steal back the rights to this show) and since theyre all older I think this’d be pg-13 or maybe even MA just because I want mabel to say fuck lmao

-when I say “pacifica is dating one of the twins” I mean shes dating mabel (even all these years later, mabifica still fucking rules), I’m just theoretically straight-baiting people lol (though, dipper and pacifica dated 2 summers after the OG GF summer, if that makes u feel any better, its just that it didnt work out and also shes a lesbian now so... lol)

-the twins went to college!!! mabel is an animation student at my shitty parody of calarts, and dipper is a journalism student (he specifically does supernatural journalism which would be an important part of the series) at west coast tech. also pacifica goes to the same school as mabel and is a fashion design student (I have a drawing of dipper in drag bc of her if anyone wants it lol). their schools are miraculously in the same general area so they share an apartment!! more on this later if I end up continuing this

-themes of this series/season/au/whatever would b like. generational trauma, recovery from abuse (every single one of the main characters have been through some form of abuse besides *maybe* dipper and mabel which in itself is even debatable), self redemption/self forgiveness and like. maybe even some coping with loss thrown in there. also found family DUH what else would I do

-noa/mr. mahina (and his dog scuttles) are new!!! so he originally wasnt gonna be a main character or anything but I got,, really really attached to him and ended up making him into an actual full-blown well rounded character so here we are! uhh what else can I say about him,, hes 63 (4-5 years younger than the twins, this takes place in the summer and his birthday is in december so idk) and hes just an old artsy himbo who loves his dog. absolutely no secrets or backstory here :) nope not at all :)

-samuel is dippers best friend, I wanted to incorporate him more but the boat was getting crowded and hes the least connected to the entire family as a whole so hes less relevant sadly :( he and dipper met in Jew Club™ and then ended up being roommates their first year and it just spiraled from there, if this were a real thing id make it so he facetimes the twins a lot and maybe even gets to visit bc I really love him and think he works well with them all

-ford is super depressed uh,, I guess not entirely but he REALLY spends a ton of time moping about how he basically fucked up his entire family for generations and the fact that he ruined a ton of shit so um. yeah. hes my fave though so expect some good shit >:) also hes gay as hell lemme clear that up lol

-can you think of some reasons for stans memory loss issues besides old age?? :)

-finally; you dont get to know anything about mary. does her name sound even remotely similar to any other name though? shrug. I dont know. 

regardless of how many notes this gets expect me to make more because I have SOOOOO much content I have been wanting to upload but I havent been able to because I havent posted any of these so :)