#i haven't had such a nice dream in a long time i wore the most ethereal looking dress and felt good about myself 👍very slay ✅️

[cryptcombat]

Today was a decent day overall. I think. got myself a new laptop and woke up from a nice dream! 👍

[berrieluv]

Matt Murdock and younger!reader. cw. bimbo reader because why not? we're fulfilling my dream of being a white man's stupid hoe. this is pure fluff, honestly, just a bit of angst in a cut but quickly resolved. also mentions of sex. this is boring but I'm sorry I really need love and affection.

Matt looked at you and blinked a few times, it was a wonder for him how you had no filter when it came to things.

"But you can't be blind" You told him, a few dates later into your relationship. He was amused on how you didn't catch the man you were dating was blind. Yes, he knew he managed life pretty well with all his senses "I saw you fighting against those men at the bar who were saying nasty things to me... And you won!"

You say, as if it was unbelievable, which he knew it kinda was. It wasn't everyday that a blind man fights five men and wins.

"Plus, you being blind is so sad" You pout, and he frowns at your words "You can't see how pretty you are..." You close your mouth a little and then your eyes open wide; "You can't see how pretty I am!"

You panicked and Matt chuckled, sensing your concern in the atmosphere.

"Oh" He starts, soft voice and taking your hand in his "I know how pretty you are" You smile "I can tell"

"How? You can't see me" You pouted "And I don't mean 'your personality is nice' type of pretty, Matt" You look at him and get closer, he can feel your breathing in his face "I really am pretty. Like, you should see me..."

"I believe you"

"But like..." You make a smirk "Like are you really blind? Or you... Is like partially blind? Like would you get your vision back? Or you just have to live like that?"

"I've been blind most of my life. Since I was a kid, actually"

"So... you never got to see Reese Whiterspoon in Legally Blonde?"

"Not one of my biggest concerns but no, I didn't"

"But it's a film of cult!" You said "If I describe it to you, would you watch it?"

"Only for you"

You chuckle, knowing Matt is in a chokehold because of you. It haven't been long since the both of you started dating, but it was, however, a surprise for almost everyone that you even started dating.

When his best friend made a joke about Matt being blind, you legit thought he meant the kind of blind people always call men... you never thought of it in a literal way.

"You're so wrapped around my little finger, it's embarrassing" You smile "And you can't even see how pretty I am" You gasp "I'll be walking you like a dog if you could see my beauty"

Matt drops a loud laugh, because from all the people in the world, he seemed to have find the only one who could make his blindness about themselves. And it didn't bother him, he was happy that you were able to treat him as a normal person. And if he thinks about it long enough, he was treated like a 'complete' man, for long enough, before you found out he couldn't see.

Suddenly, you 'wow' "That's why you're always wearing those ugly glasses!"

"Matthew Murcock"

You yell while entering his office and Foggy looks at Matt at the sudden change of his name.

"I have no idea where she got that from" He says, smiling.

That was the day after the first time you ever had sex, when opened the door you look at Foggy, then at Matt and pout, completely forgetting he couldn't see you.

"Foggy, get out"

Matt says and you smile, walking to him as fast as Foggy leaves the office. You kneel in front of him and rest your head in his thigh; fuck you were needing him.

"Baby, you know we can't do that stuff around here. It's my office, baby" He smiles.

"You wouldn't say the same if you knew how pretty I look"

"Oh, I just know you look fucking pretty" He says, taking your body and sitting you on his lap "You wore a skirt and everything" You nod "I guess I can put my fingers inside if you like"

You nod desperately and open your legs, Matt only laughs at your neediness and starts to work.

"Mattheeeeeew"

You cry as you reach him in his bedroom, he was calm and breathing slowly, his chest going up and down and unconsciously flexing his muscles. He opened his eyes as soon as he heard you entered his flat.

"Yes, dear?" He asks, peacefully, ignoring the tone of your voice that adverts you're looking forward to create drama.

"Why didn't you call me?" He lets out a groan when you sit on top of his naked torso and put your hands on his chest "I let a sticky-note asking for you to call me as soon as you were back" You pouted.

"Darling..." He starts, calmly "How am I suppose to see that?"

"What do you mean 'how'... with your eyes, Matth–" You pout "I see..." He chuckles and you shake your head "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"

"It's fine, pretty girl"

"But I'm always so reckless" You cry, letting your head fall into his pectorals "I'm reminding you all the time that you can't see"

"It's not like I can forget it, my love"

"Yeah, you're right"

You chuckle in his chest and he feels his shorts getting a little tighter. He doesn't want to point it out, how could he when you're sharing such an intimate and cute moment. And he was sure you wouldn't notice, hell, if she didn't notice I was blind, how would she notice an erection; was what he thought the first time you gave him a boner. And what he seems to remember every time now that you give him one by accident.

The first time ever you and Matthew have a fight it's complicated. You believe he was on edge before you and him got together that day, he arrived to your department a bit more serious. This time there wasn't a kiss, or a hug, or a single word.

You were yourself at the gala he asked you a few weeks ago to go with him, but it seemed like it wasn't someone he wanted you to be. He pressed tighter your arm every time you joked, but you took that as an action he was making to decease his worries, never could you think it was because of you, since your personality was never a problem.

"What is your fucking problem?" He asked, storming into his flat, his steps were heavy and loud and you just looked at him, shyly, the first time ever you felt shy around Matt. "You couldn't just act like a mature person, couldn't you? You have to let out your childish annoying personality in one of the most important nights of my career"

"I'm sorry"

You say, with a small voice, almost afraid to ask.

"Yeah" He says, finding himself the glass and the wine he always leave in the same place, to pour himself one. "You're always fucking sorry but I never see you change anything about yourself" He hears the glass breaking into the floor and he frowns, looking directly at where he sensed you. "Did you fucking moved the glass?"

You were scared to say yes, not at Matt, you couldn't be scared of him, but now, you weren't feeling him as your Matt.

"You always do this, why do I even bother having a house if you're gonna do whatever the fuck you want with MY stuff" He walks to the room and you follow him, silent, fidgeting your fingers "I would have chose any other woman if I knew you were going to act like a fucking child!"

You feel your eyes watering and you look at him, finally saying, with a small broken voice; "Why are you talking to me like this?"

Before Matt could answer with another mean comment, he smell your tears falling on your cheeks and he felt bad. Because it wasn't your fault he has been on edge all day. Because he knew you were younger than him and it never seemed to be a problem until one of the lawyers pointed out how young and pretty you were to date someone like him.

How could you ever please her if you're blind.

"Baby... love... I'm so sorry" He says, pressing his fists against his eyes and then opening his arms "I'm so sorry, you don't, you don't deserve this. I'm– I've been better than this, you deserve better than this, my darling love, I'm an asshole"

"You are" You slowly say, letting him wrap his arms around your body "But I like you anyways"

"And I'm so lucky for that"

You nod, knowing he was in fact lucky you pulled out with this shit and you didn't leave the room immediately.

"You were being mean"

"I know, I know" He says, holding you closer to him and letting your body and his fall into the mattress. "I was just so mean to my pretty girl"

And since that, Matt made sure everything that could involve you in a fight was gone. Of course, you had the typical arguments a couple has, but you never kept them for too long. You were way too distracted and it wasn't like he wanted to keep the fight going. Not when you looked so pretty.

The first time he ever saw you mad, was so ridiculously cute, you always got mad about the bloody same thing, and Matthew couldn't take you seriously anymore.

"Why are you so f-stubborn?" You stop yourself at the curse word, and Matt smiled, knowing you're not one to curse. You were organizing both of your clothes in the closet "I always tell you the clothes go ordered by color, Matt" You cry and throw one of his shirt at him.

"Princess..." He starts, that's the pet name he choose to call you when he was about to correct something you said "How am I supposed to know that green and red are not the same?"

You're ready to yell at him again until it hits you, he can't really know. "It's imposible to get mad at you"

You pout, and he opens his arms while laughing. "C'mon, my pretty dumb girl"

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Season 7 - Is that Buck?

The debate over who Eddie’s talking to in this picture has begun but let's take a closer look shall we?

There appears to be some debate over whether that's Buck in the picture with Eddie that TM (showrunner) released at dark o'clock last night/this morning (depending on your time zone) and it's all because of that ugly shirt he's wearing. Well, I took a screenshot of the shirt he wore at the end of 6x18 to test my theory and it was just like I remembered, HIDEOUS!

The shirt debate piqued my curiosity and I researched it to test my theory regarding Buck’s clothes that started in 6A and went into 6B after 6x4, 6x7, 6x11 and 6x18 aired.

Full Disclosure: I had to access 6×18 to get this screenshot but I didn't want to because after Season 6 ended, I said I would never watch any of the episodes that aired after 6x13 again. I haven't, I didn't and I won't but I did fast-forward to the end of it so I wouldn't have to see anyone but Buck and I captured it to show the ugly shirt he wore to the hospital. It's HIDEOUS too.

Why is his shirt important?

Well, it's important because Buck’s wardrobe has drastically changed since season 5.

After I saw the pants he was wearing in 6x4, the shirt he wore at the end of 6x7, the outfit he had on in his coma dream in 6x11 and the shirt he wore at the end of 6x18, I wondered what happened to Buck’s wardrobe. I'm not sure why they keep putting him in these types of clothes, especially since Buck’s ALWAYS cared about his appearance. In the past, his clothes were expensive and they fit him nicely but in Season 6, most of them were ill fitting and a lot of times either his shirts were too little and/or his pants were ankle beaters or they were just not the kind of clothes he would wear.

In 6x4 he was wearing ankle beaters when he went to Hen and Karen's house.

In 6x7 his shirt was too little when he went to go donate his sperm.

In 6x11 he was wearing that awful imitation of Fred's outfit from the Scooby-Doo cartoon.

Initially, I thought the size of Buck’s clothes had something to do with OS's muscular build since he definitely toned up and his muscles were huge at the beginning of Season 6. Then after I remembered how lackluster the season's opening emergency was (the 9 minute long blimp emergency 🙄), I thought maybe the show was low on money or something and they couldn't afford to give the wardrobe department a sufficient budget.

But now I believe there's more to it than that since it APPEARS TO BE INTENTIONAL. I don't know why and I'm not speculating but there's a reason Buck’s not dressing like he used to. It seems like the only time his clothes fit PROPERLY is when he's with Eddie🤪😜.

HELLO PAIR OF GRAY SWEATPANTS HE WORE JUST FOR EDDIE TO SHOW OFF HIS "FIREHOSE".

HELLO RED AND BLACK SUIT HE WORE TO THE POKER GAME.

We know the wardrobe department has the money it takes to properly clothe the main cast because all the other main characters' wardrobes didn't change so what gives?

Anyway, my point is, IIRC, Eddie has never touched Bobby's shoulder like that but he has touched Buck’s (in 3x3). Is that Buck wearing that ugly ass shirt in the picture TM released from Season 7? Probably since he wore one in 6x18 and his clothes have been less than stellar for the last few months but who knows?

What is really happening with Buck’s clothes?

[otomefiend]

Victor & William Rex

Story Event: Villains want to bother little 'Robin'

Epilogue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 Premium

Pardon me, I completely forgot to post this. 😅 The grand conclusion to their antics. Those two ❤️🖤

~~~

The night with Victor and William was so enjoyable,

I was sad to see it end.

These two men read my desires like an open book.

~~~

Victor: "Haha, what a lovely expression, Kate. Can you tell me what you want right at this very moment?"

William: "Kate -- tell us what you want."

Kate: "Victor, William. Would you stay with me just a little longer --"

Victor • William: "Of course!" • "With pleasure."

~~~

They invited me to Leadenhall Market at night.

Due to the late hour, it was so quiet that the usual hustle and bustle of the place seemed like a lie.

(...... The shops are closed. It's already this late)

William: "Heh, you're so cute with your thoughts written all over your face."

Kate: "What, oh... I'm sorry. After all, you were kind enough to bring me here."

William: "Even if the shops are closed, there are other ways to have fun."

When he looked at Victor, the latter seemed to understand his intentions and smiled in return.

Victor: "On this street, most shops display their recommended products in their windows."

Victor: "So we can still do some window-shopping in the middle of the night."

Then Victor took my right arm, William took my left arm, and we started walking.

William: "Kate. Those shoes would look beautiful on you."

Victor: "William has great taste. Let's come back later and buy whatever catches our eyes."

Victor: "That bag over there looks amazing. The vivid colour would suit you well, Kate!"

(.... it's so much fun. I had no idea I could enjoy myself to this extent)

Kate: "Ah..."

William: "Did something draw your attention?"

Kate: "Um, ...that ...dress on display over there is really nice."

Victor: "How marvellous! It's so lovely you'd turn heads all over England if you wore it."

William: "Looks like it comes in two colours, red and black..."

Kate: "Which one do you prefer...?"

William: "It's best if you choose the one you like, but if it were me, I would say..."

Victor • William: "I'd go for black!" • "Most certainly red."

Victor • William: "........."

Kate: "Pfft...hahaha. Looks like there's no agreement."

Victor: "Then we shall buy both, the red and the black one."

Victor: "-- You can wear them on our respective dates, one with William and one with me."

He winked and smiled mischievously.

Victor: "Ah, you've become a naughty girl for toying with two men, haven't you Kate?"

William: "Heh.... maybe we taught you some things we shouldn't have."

Victor: "Good, naughty girls are welcomed."

Kate: "Ugh.... please, don't make fun of me."

Victor • William: "Hahaha!"

The two men looked more defenceless than usual, laughing in the middle of the night and clearly having a great time...

(... am I okay to think it's just my privilege to have two such people by my side?)

I couldn't help but feel that selfish desire to monopolize.

William: "What about you, Kate? Is it time for the good little Robin to go to sleep?"

Kate: "... You know what I want to do, don't you?"

Victor: "Still, we'd like to hear it from you."

(... Seriously, you two are so troublesome)

Kate: "Please, stay with me as long as I'm awake..."

William: "Mhm, as you wish."

William: "Victor, I think you mentioned before that there's a pancake place around here that's only open at night."

Victor: "That's right, it's behind that alley. We can have a late-night feast, how splendid!"

(...... it's fun)

(So ​​much so that I will certainly dream about those two when I fall asleep tonight)

Even the night breeze felt more pleasant than usual by their side.

~~~

It was a quiet night after the day upon which Kate became the Queen.

Chubby man: "Haa... I need to hurry."

A man carrying a large bag hurried down a narrow alleyway.

At that moment, the sound of someone whistling a tune could be heard, followed by the fluttering of a jet-black coat...

Two long shadows blocked the man's path.

William: "Good evening. Hmm, are you setting off on a journey judging by the heavy load you carry?"

Chubby man: "...... and you are?"

Victor: "Introductions can be such a hassle. By the way, it's a shame that your last night's plans at Oxford didn't pan out."

Chubby man: "...... you're the ones who killed the guys?"

William and Victor smiled in confirmation.

The man grabbed a bundle of notes from his bag with his fingers covered in gold rings,

Then held it out towards the two men.

Chubby man: "You're that group of assassins hired by Her Majesty, aren't you?"

Chubby man: "I'll make you a better offer! Not a bad deal, right? Yes? Yes?"

William: "Too bad. I don't remember being hired by anyone, nor do we plan to be hired in the future."

Victor: "Indeed, we condemn others of our own volition."

Chubby man: "Huh...? W-What condemnation... you're just a bunch of murderers!

William: "Hmm? Murderers... us?"

William: "You're right. Evil is evil, sin is sin, punishment is punishment."

William: "It can never be reversed; it should never be."

William: "For this reason we -- conquer evil with evil."

William: "`Cut you throat with this knife. Right now`."

Red droplets sprayed everywhere.

Looking unexpectedly beautiful whilst painting the blackness of the night.

Victor: "Mmm, your curse truly is dazzling. I fall in love with it every time I see it."

William: "I'm honoured by your compliments."

Victor: "By the by, William. Would you like to relay the details onto Kate?"

William: "No...? I'd rather not."

William: "Waking up the peacefully sleeping Kate is definitely not amongst my favourite pastimes."

Victor: "Haha. Yes, I suppose not."

Victor: "Maybe just let her hear your lullaby."

Victor: "As for the conclusion to the evening... I'm also in favour of keeping it a secret."

William: "And why is that?"

Victor: "...I want us to remain the kind queen and the gentle aide in Kate's eyes."

William: "Heh, you're a wicked man."

Victor: "That's my line, Will."

William: "Mhm, let's go back to the castle. Our lovely Kate is waiting for us there."

The two accomplices smiled at each other as their cloaks flapped in the wind.

Only the two of them knew that the blood had been spilt that night...

[citrusy-lemons]

pancake-cakes

tasm!peter x reader

summary: late night cravings bring out some deeper feelings.

author's note: HOLY SHIT, count on me to go MIA for a month after posting. honestly tho i'm so sorry, i've got school and extracurriculars and projects and shit and i haven't really gotten time to write and my schedule is still super hectic, hopefully i'll be able to get other stuff out soon but no promises :/

let me know what you think? constructive criticism is welcome and please be nice :)

see, the middle of the night wasn't meant for this. it's to sleep and dream and pee.

not for baking a cake without having most ingredients of the cake. but you'd gotten a sudden craving and it was a weekend tomorrow, so bad decisions were inevitable.

did you have a million assignments to do? maybe. but peter also had a million assignments to do and he was still here, so technically, he's also making bad decisions. he was aware of that fact.

mind you he did try to convince you to go back to sleep at first but you wore him down. he didn't put up a big fight, he never did, against you.

he's convinced himself that he was only there to watch over you and make sure you didn't slice a finger or spill the flour, not to help you out with your late night shenanigans. but he was cutting up the strawberries so, really, he didn't have a strong resolve.

"you know, i think that when the box says 'pancake mix' you're supposed to make pancakes," he said, turning to you, who was reading the back of said box.

were you trying to bake a cake in the middle of the night with pancake batter cuz you didn't have the stuff for the cake and didn't want to go to the grocery store to get it? kinda. would peter have gone and got the stuff himself if you'd asked? yes.

"i didn't listen to you the last 17 times, i'm not gonna listen to you now, and besides," you said, pouring the mix into a bowl, "a pancake is just a cake but made on a pan instead of an oven. we're just changing the recipe a bit," you shrugged, like it was obvious and he was the stupid one.

"there are so many things wrong with that sentence, i dont even know where to begin,"

"here's a hint, don't."

you were being mean, you knew that. you didn't mean it. peter knew that. and you knew that peter knew that but you would apologize later. he knew that. he sighed dramatically.

"you wound me,"

you rolled your eyes at that. pretending to be annoyed at him was easy. wiping the smile away from your face when you were around him wasn't.

"if i had a dollar for every time you're wounded, i'd be filthy rich."

he glanced up at you. he knew that that wasn't completely a joke, it had a bittersweet tone to it. was that the reason why you were up at this ungodly hour? peter knew that you'd been stressed lately, he didn't know he had a hand in that.

"hey, you wanna tell me what's up?"

you didn't meet his eye, but you did stop fiddling with the bowl. almost immediately, you grabbed the knife out of his hand, mumbling, "you're cutting them all wrong,"

you both knew that wasn't true. one of the perks of having grown up with may was that peter was a fantastic cook. he'd been doing this sort of stuff forever. you needed to get better at excuses.

he gently laid his hand over yours to stop you and said your name softly, pleadingly. a long pause. you complied.

"it's just that," you started with a sigh, and dropped the knife, "you're my best friend peter, and i know that being spiderman means a lot to you," hesitation creeps up as you get to the actual issue. peter senses a 'but' coming. you look at him.

"but you come home every night with bruises everywhere, in pain, and i know you say that they'll go away in the morning and they do but," you're rambling now, he doesn't stop you.

"you have to see it from my perspective, i-" another sigh, you look away, "i get scared, peter."

oh. you were worried for him. he wonders how he didn't realise that before. that time he came home with a stab wound and you looked like you were going to cry he thought you were nauseous at the sight of blood. peter was an idiot.

"i know i shouldn't but i dont like the thought of you getting beat up every night." you were talking with your hands now, "imagine how you would feel if i came home with bruises all over my body and told you not to worry and that i'll be fine in a couple hours." you looked at him again. there was a sort of pain in your eyes. peter wishes it weren't there.

"it doesn't feel good peter. and you assume that i'm supposed to be okay with it?" you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, turning back to the strawberries. your hands were shaking.

peter thought about it. about what you'd said. you were scared for him and he understood that. it couldn't have been easy to be with someone like him. but he couldn't very well abandon spiderman. it was a part of him now. he knew that you knew that, but at the same time, he understood your point.

he thought about how he'd feel if the roles were reversed. if you came home with the type of wounds he did every night, he would be terrified. he couldn't blame you, of course he couldn't.

but he was spiderman, he had a responsibility, an unspoken vow to this city. he had opportunities and powers that no one else did, and he wanted to do good with it.

he hadn't asked for it, but he still had it. if he gave up being spiderman, he didn't think his conscience would let him live with it.

"i'm not asking you not to be spiderman," you spoke, finding your voice, "of course i won't do that. i'm just saying..." you trailed off, unsure of what you wanted and whether you were allowed to have it.

peter took both your hands into his, silently begging you to look at him. you did.

"i know what you're saying, and i understand. i don't blame you, i get where you're coming from and i promise, i'll be fine," he said, softly. he knew you were anxious about his safety.

"i can't give up being spiderman, and i know that's not what you're saying, but you have to understand, i can't not do it, it's a part of me, and i swear i will be more careful," his brown eyes bore into yours, willing you to understand. you blinked and unconsciously looked to the floor.

"but what if, being careful isn't enough one day? what if it isn't just some robbers or burglars but some other things? what if it's one of those aliens or mutants or something and you can't defend yourself? what am i supposed to do then, pete?"

you closed your eyes again, trying to stop the tears. peter's heart was tearing itself knowing that he was the reason for them. how could he tell you that him being the cause for your tears hurt more than any knife in the world?

"hey, look at me," he said, searching for your eyes. you shook your head but looked up at him anyway, the tears in your lashes resolutely not giving in to gravity.

"nothing is going to happen to me. i've handled stuff like that, you know. i know you're worried and upset but i promise, nothing will happen. you need to trust me, okay? we're going to be fine. please, I need you to trust me."

he said your name like it's the last time he'll ever get to, not in a way a friend is supposed to.

you sniffed, "i trust you, i do. it's this city that i don't trust," you steeled yourself, "but if you're sure, and you believe we'll be fine, then i do too."

he cracked a smile then, and pulled you in for a hug. a tight one. neither of you let go for quite a few minutes. you relished in it.

"god, okay i know i'm being silly, i'm sorry," you said after you'd pulled away, rubbing at your eyes.

"you're not being silly, don't be sorry. it's completely okay and valid. don't ridicule your thoughts, you're allowed to feel," peter said, in a scold-ish manner that he'd no doubt learnt from may.

"and please step away from the strawberries, and go back to butchering your so-called 'cake'," he said with a teasing smile, bumping his hips into yours to move you back to the bowl of pancake mix.

you scoffed incredulously, back into your playful demeanor, "excuse you, i would have perfected this pancake-cake if i weren't feeling sleepy right now, so, unfortunately for you, you won't get to taste this deliciousness, whenever i do get to make it,"

"oh, what a tragedy, i won't get to torture my tastebuds with whatever concoction you manage to brew up,"

you shoved at him, not that he moved an inch, and grabbed the plate of cut strawberries.

"just for that, i'm gonna eat these strawberries in bed using your pillow as a table, and you know i can be a very messy eater," you laughed like an evil sorcerer and ran towards the bedroom.

peter, horrified at the thought of sleeping on a sticky pillow, ran after you, forgetting that he had sticky hands himself. (pun intended, i'm sorry i couldn't not do it)

"come back here you!"

the pancake mix in the bowl, the half pack of strawberries waiting to be cut, and the anxiety were all left forgotten back in the kitchen.

[moonstruck-poet]

Most Ardently

Pairing - Ben Barnes x reader!

Summary - hey! I hope you're doing good. I had a request for ben barnes. so the reader and ben (both actors) have been friends for a long time and ben always liked the reader but the reader was dating someone else. when they broke up ben was there to get through it and slowly the reader also realizes that she like ben too.

Warnings - heartbreak

I really hope you like it anon! So sorry for the wait and tysm for your amazing request<33

You were a dreamer, in search of your dream.

"Here! Look here please!" The numerous cameras flashed as you tried your best to look at every single one of them, smiling widely and hopefully striking a nice pose.

"I swear I'm gonna be blind till I'm 40," James spoke from beside you, tightening his hold on your waist.

You chuckled at his statement, "You'll have me with the similar condition beside you, don't you worry".

But the nervous smile he gave escaped your observant eyes as you were too busy paying attention to the reporters.

"Let's get out of here," you murmured and he nodded, following your lead as you moved to a much quieter and slightly less crowded area. "Much better now".

"Oh definitely," he leaned against a wall and you moved in closer, your hands travelling up to his shoulders as you gently kissed his cheek. "You were awesome out there, I don't think I can ever handle such attention".

"You get used to it with time," you smiled and your eyes caught movement making you turn to see your best friend walking towards you, hands in his pocket and a poker expression on his face.

"He probably hasn't even seen us yet," James said and you agreed.

"I'll just so and say hi to him quickly, yeah?" You excused yourself and he nodded immediately, taking a step back.

"Of course! Go on".

Your smile widened the closer you got to your best friend, taking in his gorgeous look. From the crisp white shirt tucked into ironed black trousers, and topped off with a similar blazer and tie, he looked sharp.

You noticed the exact moment his eyes caught yours amidst the many people and how they softened instantly, a warm glow spreading across his previously detached face. And your heart felt heavy and giddy as you quickly closed the gap.

"Hey!" You greeted first, an ecstatic grin on your face which he seemed to mirror.

"Hello," he replied simply, taking a tiny step closer as his obsidian eyes hungrily scanned your features.

They moved from your beautifully lined eyes, down to the blood-red colour of your lips and back again, seeing the sparkle in them that he longed for every single day. And involuntarily, he couldn't help but take another step towards you.

'Christ,' he whispered in his mind as his loving gaze caressed your figure. 'She's so beautiful,' he thought and an adoring, tiny smile was visible on his face.

The gorgeous dress that you wore just added more to your natural beauty, it was an off-shoulder gown that went down to your heels, making you look like a princess.

He was so taken with searching your face that he failed to process your words and you had to snap your fingers to jolt him back.

"Sorry what'd you say?" He shook his head slightly and focused on your speech.

A small frown was on your lips, "Are you okay? You seem a little closed off?"

"I.." He began, mind racing to find a suitable answer that could satisfy your concern, but at the same time he knew he couldn't get away with lying to you, you simply knew him too well for that.

"I'm tired," he said at last. Thinking that it was the safest reply he could give without telling on himself about his predicaments.

"Anything in particular?" You asked softly.

'Yes,' he wanted to say. 'You'. But of course he didn't. Rather, he couldn't.

"Just the stress of attending countless interviews, I guess. Haven't been able to get a proper rest in days".

You sighed sympathetically and brought him in a warm embrace, understanding that he needed it more than ever. Your hand instinctively ran through his soft hair, smoothing it down comfortingly.

Ben on the other hand felt as though he had reached heaven at your actions. He let out a deep sigh, feeling his tense shoulders lighten before wrapping his arms around your waist.

"You know you can talk to me about anything at any given point of time, right?" You asked softly, not pulling away.

"Mhmm," he mumbled, gripping you tighter without even realising it. He cherished such moments, knowing it was as close as he could ever come.

But then you backed off, making his heart sink a little. What was he even expecting? Of course you weren't going to let him be in your arms forever.

He was not yours.

And you were not his.

And he bit back the pain that slowly seeped into his soul like poison itself. His pleasant expression dropped at seeing James enter the conversation and step right beside you. He swallowed upon seeing the twinkle in your eye, the way they seemed to brighten the moment you spotted your boyfriend.

But little did he know, that sparkle was there whenever he came into your sight too.

"Having a good night so far, Ben?" James asked politely and extended his palm for a handshake.

The man in question shook himself out of his stupor and they shook hands, "Yes, everything's going quite well".

"Join us for dinner?" You asked with a smile while his hands watched the way yours intertwined with James and unknowingly his jaw clenched.

"Yeah you can invite some friends of yours too, we don't mind".

But Ben shook his head, "No I'll- I'll probably head home soon, you two go and enjoy," he gave a rather forced smile and you frowned.

"Ben?" You began, wanting to ask him exactly what was troubling his mind because you were certainly not satisfied with his previous answer.

But he interrupted you by stepping back with every word of his that he uttered next, "No no don't worry about me, you go out and dine in some fancy restaurant, maybe bribe James for your favorite ice-cream," he grinned, his lips feeling artificial as he did so.

===============================

It was a whirlwind of emotions in your brain at the moment, everything so scattered around that it was physically starting to hurt.

You should've seen it though, should've noticed the signs a lot earlier. Only if you hadn't been wearing a blindfold that was already stained red, too bad that your eyes were fully closed.

You were a stranger to breakups, never before having such a serious relationship with anyone. You had obviously heard all about them, but were yet to experience one. And you feared that you were bound to feel it for yourself soon enough.

James had been detatched from a long time, never initiating any moments of intimacy himself and always keeping it short whenever you were the one to start.

You cursed yourself, hating your idiotic, gullible mind so much for simply brushing it off, thinking maybe he was having a problem. Not once did you consider bringing it up because he was just so loving at times. But it was all platonic, something that you mistook for adoration instead.

But now that some force had finally knocked sense into you, you had at last brought up the inevitable topic. And it had led to the present situation.

There he was, the so called love of your life sitting right opposite you on the sofa, holding both of your hands in his and trying to break the news as gently as possible.

"I'm sorry," James whispered, bowing his head down. Probably to avoid looking at your disturbed features, you thought immediately.

"It's me who should be sorry," you apologised, not even understanding the reason for doing so. It just felt the right thing to do at the moment as your mind had gone completely blank.

"Hey no," he shut you instantly, shaking his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It- It's all me".

You nodded, your heart feeling numb now as you turned your gaze towards one of the photoframes decorating the wall. It was taken during your earlier dates with him. Gosh you looked so in love.

Your throat burned upon seeing the evident affection in not just yours, but his eyes too. But then, how could it diminish just like that Many answers crossed your mind, almost all of them pointing yourself out as the actual problem.

"Say something please," he urged, his voice filled with genuine sadness

"What am I supposed to say, James?" You chuckled lowly, "Other than the fact that I still love you with all of my heart?"

He winced, your words wedging into his chest, inflicting deep wounds. He wanted, or had atleast hoped it to be easier but who was he even kidding. Of course it was supposed to be difficult, you had loved each other for God's sake.

And how was someone expected to react when their partner told them, right to their face that, 'I don't love you anymore?'

"I'm so sorry, Christ I'm so sorry," he pressed his forehead against the back of your hand and you felt him crying.

And despite the terrible, devastating heartbreak, you still hated to see him cry. He was such a good man that despite his confessions, you still cared, as strongly as you had done before.

"It's not your fault, James," you said after gathering your thoughts. "I'm- I'm actually glad that you told me up front. No no I am-" you cut him off after seeing his disbelieving and ashamed expression.

"-You didn't cheat behind my back and instead opened up about being in love with someone else. And honestly? That would've shattered me," you whispered, giving him a small smile as if it wasn't hurting now.

"As if you're not shattered right now," he sniffed, wiping his cheeks and noticing your expression change.

"Are- Are you already talking to that person?" You changed the topic, sporting a poker face that perfectly hid the storm that was raging inside. Atleast there was some advantage in being an actress.

"Yeah," he said, fiddling with his hands. "We just talked though, nothing more I swear".

And you trusted him without a doubt, because you knew he would never ever do anything scandalous. He simply wasn't that type of a person. And that was one of the reasons that made you fall for him.

And now, that's one of the reasons that made you happy to have had fallen for him.

"Okay then, all the best for your life ahead," you muttered and shifted awkwardly. Feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

He hesitated, looking back and forth between his hands and trying to read your face before leaning in for a hug.

And despite wanting to push him away for the things he did, you merely wrapped your arms around him. Because aside from bring a great partner, he was also a fantastic friend.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered against your hair. "I'm so so sorry, please forgive me if you find it in yourself to do so. You were my first love," he said with a soft smile. "And you made it so beautiful for me".

A nod was all you could give him as he pulled back and pressed a small kiss to your forehead and exiting your apartment.

You watched the door close, heard him enter the elevator and yet you didn't sit down. Instead your grabbed your jacket and a black baseball cap, pulling the hood over your head and stepping out with your phone in the pocket.

All you needed right now was a long long drive, you thought to yourself after getting inside your black Lamborghini.

But the minute the engine spurred on and you started driving, you had somehow, without any destination in your mind had arrived at a park. And you didn't even feel the need to go somewhere further.

Getting out of the, you noticed it to be empty. Maybe the gods did decide to let you a little off the hook, and of course people wouldn't spent their Saturday night sitting in a goddamn park when they could be participating in much enjoyable activities.

And so you pulled off the hood and the cap and settled yourself on a bench, your breath coming out ragged as the pent up emotions started building in your heart.

You gasped, chest heaving deeply as you hands shook and you clenched your jaw. Your vision slowly becoming blurry and you squinted your eyes while pressing your lips together to prevent any sound from escaping.

But the rawness of it all seemed to overpower your restraints and a lone tear did indeed trail down your cheek and out came a small, sob. You bent down, elbows on your knees and palms digging into your teary eyes as your shoulders shook.

"Wh- Why him?" You whispered to yourself and in doing so you were able to taste the saltiness of your tears. And then you were silent before another round of pain struck your sensitive mind, leaving you defeated.

"Hey," you heard a man speak making you jump as you looked up to see your best friend and realisation hit you immediately.

It was a Saturday night... And he always came to this particular park for his usual runs.. Christ...

You couldn't say anything, weren't able to actually and you merely stared while steady emotions fell from your eyes.

And Ben, oh god he was devastated as he took in your vulnerable frame. He could quite literally drop down to his knees because he could see the absolute pain etched on your face and it made him tremble.

"What's wrong?" His voice shook as he did not waste another second to sit next to you. "What the hell happened? Is it something serious? Did anything happen to you? Your family?" Questions flew out rapidly from his mouth and he stopped abruptly when all you gave him was a small smile and his very soul saddened.

He saw the redness of your eyes that were shining like glass, the tip of your nose in the condition as them and the twitch of your lips that held everything but happiness.

He saw them tremble and he lost it.

You were in his arms before you could comprehend what was happening, held tightly against his warm, comforting body. His hands were on your back, pulling you closer and closer while yours were limp by your sides, something that he noticed.

"What happened, love?" His voice laced with every amount of desperation as tightened his grip, almost suffocating you with his worry.

You didn't say anything. Time passed, slowly but surely and fresh tears soon formed in your eyes and you closed them, your arms going around his torso and you cried your heart out on his shoulders.

And he let you.

Not speaking another word in fear that he may interrupt something, not even moving a muscle, afraid that you would pull away. He stayed exactly where he first was right until the very end.

"P- Promise me something," you spoke at last, voice all hoarse and full of raw pain.

"Anything," he replied, not pulling away the slightest and instead pressing his lips against your hairline.

"Please don't leave me," a quiet request reached his ears and he breathed in.

And he had to detatch himself slightly to look right in your eyes as he answered, "I would never, I promise".

But you shook your head, "No you don't understand. It's not that easy," you kept on shaking your head, muttering under your breath and he cupped your cheeks, steadying your gaze on him.

"I will never leave your side," he said, clearly and firmly. "You hear me? I will never ever leave you all alone".

"You will tell me," you began, swallowing harshly as you tried to arrange your thoughts into coherent sentences. "If- If there's something about me that bothers you, or- or ticks you off, makes you mad, you will tell me. If you don't like any habits of mine or some of my preferences, you will tell me".

He looked at you with every ounce of sadness, feeling dejected at the choice of your questions.

"Maybe you find me boring suddenly or- or just not interesting enough, y- you will tell me," you stumbled in your speech and he caught you again.

"Oh darling," he sighed and his cheeks were moist as he listened to your cries and consoled you as best as he could.

"Just please don't leave me," you whimpered, gripping his jacket in your fist.

"I won't, I promise. I promise," Ben repeated as tears slid down his face too and he kept on dropping tiny kisses on the top of your head.

It hurt like hell, seeing the love of his life unravel right before his own eyes. It pained him physically when every little sob had made its way past your lips. Your heart was completely broken, the sharp edges cutting into your soul. But he would fix it, he vowed to himself. He would gather all your fragments and piece them together.

Because if love could cause destruction to such an extent, it could also heal to unbelievable heights.

===============================

It had been two years since the incident and you had recovered properly, now back to your previously normal state with only a small gap in your heart, which you assumed would always be there.

You were proud of yourself to have overcome the struggles and come such a long away. You had drowned yourself in work, accepting every offer and giving your level best in each and every performance.

And it all bore fruit.

Because here you were now, standing on a stage in front of thousands of people to give your acceptance speech for winning a Golden Globe award for the Best Lead Actress.

There was a satisfied smile on your face as you ended your token of gratitude to your fans and supporters. They had been incredible in showeing you with unbelievable love and enthusiasm.

"And last but certainly not the least," you said with the widest grin on your already glowing face, your eyes searching the crowd before landing on a particular person.

"This one's to him," you declared softly. "For helping me get through some of the toughest lows, providing me with all sorts of encouragement to push past the bitter memories and for always, always being there no matter what. This is all for you".

There was a loud round of screams and shouts from the very eager fans who had put two and two together.

"I love you Ben Barnes," you said at last and there followed an ear-splitting, thunderous applause. "Most ardently".

And it was all worth it to see that beautiful, gorgeous smile on his face that you so loved. He pressed his fingers to his lips and blew you a small kiss making your heart swell.

You exited the stage with one final note of thanks and each step you took towards him, you felt as though you had fought down the entire world for him and emerged victorious.

Ben stood up straight, looking devastatingly handsome in his royal blue tuxedo which coincidentally also seemed to match the colour of your dress. His obsidian eyes held every bit of pride there was in the entire universe; they shone like stars, all for you.

"Congratulations," he whispered, words for your ears only as he took your arm and brought you right into his chest.

"Thank you," you pressed your face into his neck, hinting a kiss on the warm skin. If one asked you, there was no way that you could recall exactly when you saw him differently. But there was just this one time when you looked at him and it was as though your universe had literally aligned. Everything just felt complete and so, so right.

Somebody had once said, that someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else. But he hadn't barged in your routine, he was already a part of it that you were yet to see.

There were a million words, but not one language could ever describe exactly what he was making you feel. He did the most ordinary of things like getting you your morning coffee on movie sets, keeping a hair tie on his wrist ready just in case that made your heart skip a tiny beat.

He was that once in a lifetime dream come true for you. That blue crayon that no one ever seemed to have enough of. He was that love that came without warning, the one who had already stolen your heart before you could even give a reply. He stormed inside like he already belonged there, took your carefully built walls down and ignited your very soul on fire.

"Thank you," you murmured, your lips tickling his ear. "For everything".

"I did promise, didn't I? And promises are meant to be kept".

Your love for him, it wasn't at first sight. It formed gradually through each year you had spent together. His personality, his goofy humour, that earth-shattering smile, that piercing gaze, gradually it all became clear that he was exactly the man whom you were looking for.

Meeting him was fate, destiny. Becoming his friend? That was certainly a choice. But falling for him? Goodness you had absolutely no control. Maybe you didn't intend to fall in love but at some point he smiled, that Ben Barnes smile and holy shit you blew it.

"Darling?" His gentle caress brought you back to the present, pulled you awake from your romantic thoughts.

"Yeah?" You could never really get used to him saying that god forbidden word. His British accent paired with that mischievous smirk and you were a goner.

"You pierced my soul. I am half agony, half hope and I too have loved none but you," he finished the quote that he knew was one of your favourites and you couldn't help but laugh with every speck of fondness as you closed the small gap to capture him in a searing kiss.

You were a dreamer, and he was your dream.

===============================

[rubyreduji]

Wildest Dreams — xmh [thirteen.]

summary: say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset

tags: smut (minors dni!), angst, movie star!au warnings: cheating, explicit unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), fingering, choking, multiple orgasms, tub sex wc: 4.1k an: writing the characters to directly quote the song lyrics is kinda cringe LOL but also cringe culture is dead. anyways i am sorry for the angst, at least i didn’t make minghao an asshole like i was planning on so be grateful /hj

m.list

“Y/N-ah.”

You’re standing near one of the marble pillars in the ballroom. Around you there are tall walls that connect to intricate ceiling designs. The chattering of everyone around you drones on in the background. The room is warm from all of the bodies.

When you glance to the side you see Xu Minghao staring at you.

Minghao is your most recent co-star in the movie you just filmed. He’s tall and handsome and apparently very popular in China and Korea. He has been rapidly gaining a US following as well, making him the best candidate to be your love interest in your upcoming romance film.

“Minghao. Hello.”

You have a confession to make. Minghao drives you crazy. Not in the ‘I want to rip his hair out’ way but in the ‘I think I’ll die if I don’t rip his clothes off in the next ten seconds’ way. From the moment you met the chemistry was apparent between you two and you fell for him right away.

You’ve never been interested in your co-stars before but Minghao is different. You find yourself wanting him with every fiber of your being. The numerous sex scenes you had to film didn’t make it any better either. 

“What are your plans now that we’ve finished filming early?” Minghao asks you. He’s dressed up for the wrap-up party you guys are at. Known for his fashion taste his outfit stands out from everyone else’s with his silken black shirt and designer blazer. His hair is uncharacteristically styled back, unfamiliar to the long mullet he had during filming. You think he looks ethereal. The chandelier hits across his face and he glows.

“Probably go back home. Rest a bit. Talk to my agent about my next project.” You shrug before looking at one of the paintings that adorn the wall. “Wait for promotions to start.”

“Come with me.”

“What?” You whip back around to look at the man. He’s staring into your soul. For the movie he wore blue contacts but now his natural brown eyes are staring at you. They’re deep and intense.

“If you’re not busy, come with me.” 

He doesn’t explain more but you understand. 

“What if we just left.”

“Excuse me?” You look over at your co-star. You two are off set, waiting for the lighting or whatever to be fixed.

“I’m tired of this. What if we just left, got out of this down. Just kept driving until we were out of the city, away from all of this, all the crowds,” Minghao says, a bit wistfully. “Just you and me.”

At the time you just brushed him off, acted like he was just joking; being the same sassy, annoyed Minghao as normal. Now you understand what he wants though. What he meant that day.

Minghao is still staring at you and you realize you haven't answered him yet.

It’s a bad idea. You know it’s a bad idea. You should say no, but then again, when are you ever going to get this chance again? With the last thought that Heaven can’t help you now, you nod at the man and he grins.

The drive is fairly quiet as you and Minghao drive away from the filming location. He takes you up into the mountains to a secluded cabin. Despite only a few words being traded while you were driving, the moment you two get into the cabin your hands are on each other.

You press Minghao up against the door and even though you’re the one pinning him, he’s still very much in control. He has a strong grip on the back of your head as he pulls you deeper into the kiss. You melt into his touch. Kissing him like this is different than when you were filming. It was just acting back then, nothing but professional, but now it’s real. Real feelings, real emotions, real passion.

Finally you two break apart, breathless. Minghao recouperates first. “Go slip into something nice. I’ll make us dinner.”

You two break away from each other and you make your way through the house and to the master bedroom. Inside you run yourself a bath before stripping down and sinking into the tub. As you relish in the hot water around your body you think about your situation.

Xu Minghao wants to spend the weekend with you. Spend the weekend with you doing erotic and romantic activities. You can barely believe it.

When you decide you’ve soaked for long enough you get out and dry yourself off. You dig through your suitcase and pick out a beautiful slip dress and a pair of heels before doing your makeup and heading downstairs.

You find Minghao on the balcony. He’s set up a table with lots of food and he himself has changed into a suit. When you walk onto the porch he greets you with a long kiss before helping you into your chair.

You look over off the balcony to the scenery, where it looks down into the valleys. It’s a beautiful view as the sun starts to set. The oranges and yellows and reds mixing together to paint the sky golden. A warm breeze blows by as you hum.

“This is lovely Minghao,” you say softly, too afraid that it will all disappear if you’re too loud.

“All for you,” Minghao says. He reaches across the table and grabs your hand. “You look lovely Y/N.”

You two start to eat your dinner and as you do you fall into a comfortable conversation. It’s exactly what you’d imagine a date with Minghao to be like. His persona is different from the one he keeps while on set. He’s more open, more smiley. His giggles are music to your ears that you want to keep on repeat.

When dinner is finished Minghao grabs your hand and pulls you into him, swaying your bodies a bit. There’s no music but Minghao hums under his breath and you two dance together. The moment feels too real, too nice. You stare at Minghao and the way the golden sky shines against his face.

Without a word you cup his face and pull him into a kiss. Minghao reciprocates, pressing himself against you, deepening your kiss. When you pull away you stare up at him.

“Minghao…” He looks down at you, reading your eyes, and he understands what you’re trying to say. Trying to communicate. Trying to tell him your feelings for him. That you want this to be more than just a weekend, more than just a one time thing.

“I can’t,” Minghao whispers. “I- I have someone waiting for me, back in China.”

“O-oh.” You pull away from him, or at least try, because he won’t loosen his grip on you. “Minghao please.”

“No. I won’t let you go. I’m sorry Y/N, I really am. Don’t think I don’t want to, but there are just some things that can’t be helped. Arranged marriages and fame and parents and companies. Trust me, I wish it was different too.” Minghao slips a hand onto the side of your neck, his thumb brushing against your jaw. “Please, just give me this weekend.”

You feel like crying, wrapped up in Minghao arms as he stares at you expectantly, pleadingly. Something about this situation makes it even worse than if it was just a one time thing, if there were no feelings involved for him.

You swallow thickly. “Promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Say you’ll remember me. Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, just like this. That you don’t forget this moment. Say that you’ll hold this close to your heart, the same way I will,” you say, your voice trembling a bit, just barely above a whisper. “Please remember me. Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to forget you even if I tried,” Minghao tells you back. He presses a long, slow kiss to your forehead.

You let the tears spill now. There are too many words left unsaid, but you both still know what each other means. You think about how you’ll have to see him again, after all of this, and pretend you’re not in love with him. That he’s not in love with you. That you’ll have interviews and promotions and screenings to go to and you’ll have to force yourself to not think about him in the way you really want to. Minghao holds your hand in his and brings it up to rest between your chests, right in between your beating hearts.

“No one has to know what we do. This is just you and me right now,” you say. “Nobody else.”

“I want you Y/N,” Minghao tells you. A part of you believes he means it in more than one way. You both know he can’t have you like that though, so you’ll just do your bests to have each other in the only way you can.

It doesn’t take long for Minghao to have your dress thrown onto the bedroom floor as you lay spread against the bed. Minghao’s mouth is on your body, pressing hot kisses onto your warm skin. He’s stripped down to just his pants now as he hovers over you. He presses another kiss onto your ribs.

“H-hao,” you gasp out, “please touch me.”

Minghao doesn’t respond, he just slides his hand up your bare thigh and presses his fingers against your clothed clit. He rubs gentle, slow circles into the bud, giving you some release, but not enough. He paws his free hand at your bra, pushing it up a bit to reveal your areola. He bends down to kiss at your nipple. He flicks his tongue over it and you gasp and buck your hips up into his hand.

“You make the prettiest nosies,” Minghao murmurs. He moves up your body so he can kiss you on the lips this time. His fingers still press into you as he kisses you. Your lips move against each other’s in sync, taking your time with the kiss. You savor the slow kiss, taking time to remember the way Minghao tastes.

As you kiss his fingers push your panties aside and he slips one into you. He swallows up your moan and starts to pump his finger in and out of you, his thumb moving up to play with your clit. When you gasp again Minghao takes this moment to grab your lip between his teeth, pulling gently at it. It surprises you how much you like the feeling of it. Enough that it gets you wet enough that Minghao can slip two more fingers into you.

He’s steadily thrusting into you now, his fingers curling up into your g-spot. Your body is thrumming with pleasure as he continues to finger you. You’re squirming a bit but it doesn’t deter Minghao from the task at hand. His mouth is now on your neck, sucking where you’re most sensitive.

“C’mon baby, let go for me,” Minghao mumbles.

With a slew of Minghao’s name on your lips you let that tight coil inside of you snap and you spasm against Minghao’s digits. He continue to fuck you through it until you’re panting and your body goes limp against the bed.

“So good for me. You look so pretty like this Y/N,” Minghao tells you as he kisses your forehead. “Do you need to rest, or can I eat you out? I wanna taste you so bad.”

“Please, eat me out Hao,” you say. Minghao hums and presses one more kiss to your lips before slipping down between your legs.

He spreads your thighs apart a bit more before leaning down and licking a stripe up your slit. After he attaches his lips to your clit, sucking at the bud and flicking his tongue over it. The stimulation is intense having just orgasmed, but it’s not overbearing, just enough to still be pleasurable.

Minghao’s hands knead at your thigh fat as he sucks on you. Your hands grip at the bedsheets and your legs tighten around his head. Minghao just pulls your thighs apart again and dives in even more, his tongue dipping into your entrance as he does. You can feel his nose bumping up against your clit as his tongue explores your insides. 

His lips work in tandem with his tongue, making out with your pussy and shooting bliss throughout your veins. Due to your sensitivity from your previous climax it doesn’t take you long to fall apart on Minghao’s tongue, your legs shaking as you do. Minghao coos at you the whole time, showering you with praise as you work through your high.

Your mind is fuzzy as your body relaxes against the mattress again. You feel Minghao move around and even clean you up a bit before moving to lay beside you, bringing you closer to him so you’re bundled up in his arms.

“Hao,” you whine, “let me take care of you.”

“Not right now love, okay? We have all weekend. I just want to hold you right now.” And well, you can’t exactly turn that down.

“Y/N.” You feel someone shake your body a bit. You crack an eye open to see Minghao standing over you. He doesn’t have a shirt on and he’s holding a tray in his hands. It takes you a few moments more to fully wake up and sit up but when you do Minghao is placing the tray in your lap. On the tray is an assortment of breakfast foods and drinks.

“Minghao, this is so sweet. Thank you.” The man leans down so you can give him a kiss. The traitorous part of your mind reminds you that you can’t have this everyday, no matter how much you yearn for it. Luckily the optimistic part of your brain shoots the thought down, wanting to just enjoy this moment while it lasts. “I can’t eat this all by myself though. Will you help me?”

And that’s how you and Minghao spend your morning, feeding each other and trading kisses as you do.

After breakfast you two take a shower together. Nothing funny happening, just genuine showering and enjoying each other’s presence. Minghao helps you shampoo your hair and you wash his back. The moment is sweet and domestic and when you go to dry off Minghao wraps you up in a big fluffy towel and kisses you before wrapping himself in a towel as well.

You two get dressed before heading down to the living room. Minghao grabs a handful of blankets while you pick a movie for you two to watch. Watching movies as a movie star is difficult because every movie either has you in it, or someone you know. Not to mention all of the drama you know about each movie. Luckily you settle for a film that has neither of you in it and is old enough that it’s out of your generation of movies.

Not that it matters much though because about twenty-five minutes into the movie Minghao is pressing kisses against your neck and shoulder. His hands trail up and down your stomach, under your shirt, as he does.

Instead of berating him you just tilt your head to the side to give him better access. Minghao takes the hint and starts to put more intention behind his actions. His hands slide up to your breasts and he squeezes your supple flesh. You don’t have a bra on so you can feel his long, thin fingers digging into your skin directly. His thumb brushes up against your nipple and you release a low whine.

You can’t take it anymore and you climb into Minghao’s lap, straddling his thighs. You connect your lips together and Minghao kisses you back. You two slowly make out as Minghao’s hands continue to play with your chest, making you damp between your legs. 

“Hao, I need you,” you say, a bit breathless.

“I’ve got you baby.”

Minghao reaches between you and helps you pull off your shorts and panties before removing his own pants and underwear. You’re wet enough that Minghao can just line himself up and have you sink down onto him. You both groan at the feeling. Minghao’s cock is long and you can feel it reaching deep inside of you.

“You feel so tight around me,” Minghao says. “Feels so good baby.”

You take a moment to adjust fully before you press your hands onto Minghao’s shoulders and start to move up and down a bit. You take your time as you roll your hips against his. Minghao’s hands are planted on your hips, helping you move.

You two are fully entranced in one another. Nobody else exists let alone matters right now as you two take pleasure in one another.

You start to get impatient and you can tell Minghao is too so you start to pick up your pace until you’re fully bouncing in his lap, his cock hitting deep inside of you in all the right places. You’re panting as you fuck yourself on his dick. Minghao doesn’t look much better, his eyes hazy as he stares up at you.

“I’m so close,” you mumble. “So, so close.”

Minghao takes this as his time to start touching you between your legs. He rubs at your clit quickly, bringing a whole new sensation to your body. It doesn’t take long for you to clamp down onto him and release. You whine loudly as you hit your high. Your lover isn’t father behind as he quickly pulls you off of him so he can spurt his cum against your stomachs.

You bring Minghao into another kiss that you two continue until the cum gets to gross you and move to clean it up. When you’re done cleaning up Minghao pulls you back onto the couch and you two take a nap, cuddled up in each other’s arms.

When you wake up in the morning you realize it’s your last day to spend with Minghao. You stare at the man sleeping peacefully next to you. His face is fully relaxed and his black locks frame his face gently. He looks like an angel. You want to touch his face, to rub your thumb over his cheek, but you don’t want to disturb his slumber. Instead you just stare at him, trying to commit everything to memory.

Last night you and Minghao made dinner together but didn’t eat much before you two were heading up to the bedroom. Minghao ate you out again before fucking you gently against the mattress, laving you with praise and euphoria. You’re sure that you now have marks littering your skin where he kept nipping at you. Not that you mind, even more to help remember him bye.

“Good morning,” Minghao mumbles. His eyes are still closed but his arms wrap around you tighter.

“Good morning.” You can’t help the small twinge of sadness that hints in your voice. 

“Stop thinking. Just enjoy this.”

“Okay,” you whisper and allow yourself to enjoy the moment.

“M-ming-minghao,” you cry out. Tears are falling freely from your eyes.

Minghao is pistoning into you, his hand on your throat as he does. He’s already made you cum three times now and it doesn’t seem like you guys are going to be stopping any time soon, trying to make the best of your last night together.

You’re sweating and crying and you have cum and slick all over you but you don’t care. Your mind is buzzing with bliss and that’s all that matters. 

“Are you doing okay baby?” Minghao whispers. His voice is raspy and low and it makes you squirm even more. You nod and dig your fingers into his back even harder. “That’s my good girl.”

You feel like you’re on Cloud 9. Minghao’s hand tightens around your throat as his thrusts get more pointed, slamming into your g-spot over and over again. It only takes the pad of Minghao’s fingers touching your clit to have you falling apart.

You whine high and loud. Minghao works you through your orgasm as you let ecstasy take over your body. You feel spent but so good and you don’t even realize Minghao is pulling out and cumming over your stomach as you try to catch your breath. 

Minghao falls onto the bed next to you, out of breath as well. He lays on his side and pulls you into him. He kisses the side of your head two times before kissing your neck once. He rests his head onto the pillow when he’s done.

“Let’s take a bath,” Minghao murmurs after a second.

“Yeah, okay,” you respond. “Can you still get me a rag first?”

“Of course.”

Soon you and Minghao are settled into the bath with Minghao sitting behind you, his arms wrapped around your middle. You two rest together in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the warm water.

“Y/N,” Minghao murmurs. His lips ghost your shoulder as his hands move up to cup your breasts.

“Oh, Hao~,” you moan. Despite already having him multiple times earlier, you still want him more. Your body is teetering on the line of overstimulation but it feels too good to tell Minghao to stop.

“Want more baby?”

“P-please,” you beg. “Want you Hao. Want more.” A part of you also is trying to have Minghao as much as you can in the short amount of time you have left.

“Don’t worry love, just let me do everything.” Minghao pulls you more onto his lap and his dick settles between your thighs. You grind down against him and Minghao groans. “Ah, not yet baby. Let me focus on just you.”

Minghao’s fingers slip down between your thighs and runs over your slit. He teases you for a moment more before slipping two fingers into you. He slowly builds up his pace until you’re writhing under his touch. Minghao is cooing at you as you gently thrash around.

“H-hao, need you in me,” you say. “Please, please, need it.”

Minghao pulls his fingers out of you before lining his cock up to your entrance and pushing in. His arms wrap around your torso and he guides you up and down as he presses kisses to your bare back. The warm water adds to the heat of your bodies and your brain feels completely shot, no thoughts other than Minghao.

It’s barely a few thrusts of Minghao’s cock and you’re climaxing. You don’t stop your movements though, determined to get Minghao to cum as well. You don’t have to put in too much effort though, because it only takes a couple more moments and he’s pulling out and cumming onto your back. You both take your time to recover before you’re draining the bath water and washing yourselves off.

After you two get out of the shower you crawl back into the bed. You sidle up to Minghao’s side and rest your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. You can feel his chest rise and fall as he breathes, his fingers drawing patterns on your arm.

“Y/N I-”

“Please,” you beg, “don’t. I just want to remember this moment right now how it is. I don’t want to think about anything else, even with tomorrow just around the corner.”

“...Okay,” Minghao relents. “Then just, can you kiss me?”

You nod before moving up the bed and cupping his jaw. You cover his lips with yours and swing your leg over his waist. His hands sit on the small of your back and pull you in closer.

This kiss has no fire in it, no rush or desperation. Your lips move slow and sweet against each other’s with no end goal other than just savoring each other.

The moment feels too comfortable, too domestic. You can’t allow yourself to fall into the false illusion of the moment no matter how much you want to.

Finally after what feels like a long time yet still not long enough, you and Minghao pull away. You rest your forehead against Minghao’s and just spend a moment breathing in each other’s breath. When the moment is over you slide back down his body, holding him in your arms. With your limbs tangled together you start to let sleep take you over.

“Y/N, say you’ll see me again,” Minghao whispers into the dark room, his words just barely registering in your exhausted brain, “even if it’s just pretend.”

The next morning you wake up to an empty bed and the news of Xu Minghao’s engagement.

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[fandomworld9728]

Do you have a Staticapple-centric AU? I just thought of one, In many AU fics Human Alastor summons Lucifer but what if Vox did summon him just to get his dream career? Hold on! There's a twist! Vox was like a completely different person before death as he always had a cold-hearted and quiet personality so... Let me say Lucifer was the one who helped Vox on his personality shift and maybe... They fell in love in the process? (Maybe have Charlie as a staticapple child as a bonus in the end but that's up to you) and then after death, they met again? Maybe after Alastor rejected his offer just to save his old dead Vox personality Luci knows and loves or maybe follow the canon timeline and Luci would go and bring his Voxxy back to he once was. I dunno that's up to you

(Ooo~ That's a good one! No, I actually haven't made any StaticApple-centric AUs. Which is odd because there's a lot of potential there)

Victor couldn't believe he was so desperate to advance his career to the point where he was even considering what he was doing now. He must have lost his mind! Summoning a demon. Selling his soul. Was it worth it?

He could ask himself that later if this worked. Which he doubted it would. Thought, he supposed it couldn't hurt to try. He was going to Hell anyways…

Finishing drawing the circle and symbols, Victor lit the candles and waited. And waited. And waited- How long was this supposed to take?!

"This is so stupid! Why did I get my hopes up? I knew it wasn't going to work." Walking away and leaving the ness for someone else to find, Victor tossed the book behind him. What a waste of his time.

"Son of a bitch. That fucking bullshit book gave me a papercut." Sucking the blood off his finger, he almost left until the room was cast in a red and gold glow.

"Oh fuck."

~

Victor was freaking out. He had Lucifer, the first fallen angel and the King of Hell, in his apartment. He had not only managed to summon a demon, but the most powerful one in existence.

"I've been thinking. You should change your name to something unique. Something that stands out."

"I-I'm sorry?"

"You sold your soul to me for help in advancing your career, did you not? I'm doing my job."

Right. Victor had been so lost in his disbelief and panic that he already forgot. Shaking his head, he got back on track and tried to ignore that amused smile the devil wore.

"If you believe that a change in name would help, I supposed I could consider it. What did you have in mind?"

"Vox."

". . . What?"

~

It had been a week and already had soared in the rank thanks to Lucifer. The ridiculous name got him attention and opened the door to conversation. Also, the suggestion on covering the cult like set up from his summoning with a made-up story really sealed the deal.

There was only one thing that seemed to be stopping him from getting where he wanted to be.

"It's your shitty personality."

"Excuse me? You want to fucking repeat that?" Lucifer just cooed at him as if he were an angry kitten, which did not improve his mood.

"Vox. You've got to face the facts. You're a cold-hearted asshole who keeps to himself. You need to at least pretend to be a charmer in this line of work."

"Oh please. What would you know about faking charm?"

"I'm the least charismatic personal you'll ever meet, but I sure as hell can fake it. You know who I actually am? I'm an awkward man obsessed with ducks and who locks himself away for days. Weeks, months... sometimes even years at a time because he has no concept of the passing of time."

Vox was silent for a moment. Trying to process what the fallen angel had just told him. "That's just sad."

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up you dick. When you're ready, I'll teach you how to charm the pants off of anyone you come across."

~

Vox didn't like this. Not one bit. Over the past couple of months, Lucifer's lessons had paid off. He had gotten a promotion that came with a nice pay raise and decided to move the two of them into a nice house closer to his job.

The hours had become longer though, what with meetings and late nights out with his coworkers. Though, no matter what, Vox always came home to a hot meal and Lucifer there to greet him.

Sometimes he'd come home to the demon fast asleep on the couch, trying and failing to wait up for him. Every time he'd wake him up, he was greeted with a sleepy smile and a welcome home.

They spend so much time together, learning about each other and growing closer. Vox is the one who earned those soft, beautiful smiles and those tinkling laughs. He did. Not those useless wannabes surrounding his angel and trying to touch him.

It wasn't even the women piss him off. It was the men. They thought that they were being sneaky. But the more those bastards had to drink, the ballsier they became.

Hands on Lucifer's hip or lower back, lips too close to his ears, and he put up with it for Vox. To help him with is career, get him connections. Not only because of their deal either. The demon had confessed to him one night that he had grown to care for him.

It had been a pleasant surprise to know that someone, especially someone like Lucifer, cared about him. That he wasn't alone.

A growl slipped passed Vox's lips as he saw a hand go to his angel's ass and squeeze it. That paired with the look on Lucifer's face had him downing his drink and slamming it down hard enough he was surprised it hadn't shattered. Making his way over, he grabbed Lucifer's hand and dragged him away without a single word.

"Whoa! Vox? What's wrong? I-If it's about that guy, don't worry. I can protect myself. It was just harmless flirting on his part."

"Oh? So, you just let any man grab you like that? Do you enjoy it? Having their disgusting, unworthy hands all over you."

"What? Where is this- wait. Are you jealous?"

Once in private, Vox crowded the other man against a wall. He wanted to keep him close, make sure he couldn't just run away.

"Jealous? Jealous?! Of course I'm jealous! How can you just let some nobody like him touch you that way so freely?! He doesn't deserve the honor... all he wants from you is your body. He doesn't care about you or love you like I- ..."

Ah fuck. Vox had gotten so worked up that he let his feelings for the fallen angel slip out. Vox waited and braced himself for the rejection. After all, even if they were separated, Lucifer was still very much devoted to his wife when it came to his heart.

However, instead of rejecting him, all Lucifer did was give Vox that soft small smile he loved so much. A golden blush settled on his cheeks as he reached up to hold his face.

"You love me?"

~

Why was he remembering all of this now? Remembering all that he had lost the day he died? Vox hadn't been able to find Lucifer and the king never reached out to him.

So, of course, at his lowest the sinner was reminded of the only other man he had ever loved. Right after he had been rejected and almost died in a fight with the man who had broken his heart.

Sitting up in a bed he'd never seen before, Vox took a moment to gather himself before he went back to Valentino. He had no desire to go back to the moth demon, but he was the only one he had left.

"Yay! You're awake!"

Lifting his head, Vox was surprised to see the most adorable little girl climbing into his bed. She reminded him of someone.

Like, if Lucifer had strikes of black in his hair and swirls of blue in his red eyes. Was... was this girl his daughter? Did the king not wait for him and that's why he never reached out or tried to find him? If so, why was his kid smiling at him like this?

"Daddy! He's awake!"

"Okay Charlie. Let's not yell, duckie. He's still recovering."

Walking into the room was a worried looking but smiling Lucifer. It was that soft smile he loved so much, the one he hadn't seen in so many years... He looked the same as when they last saw each other, only with exhaustion clear on his face. Though, he was still the most beautiful creature Vox had ever seen.

"Well, look who it is. I finally found you. Actually, Charlie did."

A proud smile on her lips, Charlie stood on the bed and put her hands on her hips. "Yes! Charlie is amazing! She found papa!"

". . . Papa?!"

[smaptain-smerica]

Female Reader x Rooster

Time: Post-Top gun: Maverick

Y/n Blackwood - L/n, daughter of Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood. Y/n took a strong interest in planes from a young age. Knowing her father was an esteemed pilot drew her even further into the navy. Quickly, she became one of the best solo pilots and graduating at the top of her class at Top Gun.

Her next mission? Return to Top Gun, Face certain death, romantic interests, and finally, her thought-to-be-dead, father.

This book contains strong language and sexual content that may be sensitive readers under the age of 18

This story was originally posted on Wattpad, follow me on there for faster updates. I have published a non-binary version of this story published there for those who do not identify as female or use she/her pronouns. It will follow the exact same story line. Link to Wattpad Account Link to the Non-Binary version

Disclaimers

I do not own the top gun characters. My writing is not a direct reflection of how the company wishes to portray their franchise.

I understand that both Tom cruise and Kelly McGillis both present ethnically white. Their relationship is essential to the story. However, I will be including skin color as a customization to the readers character. Inclusivity is important to me and I apologize for any disappointment or discomfort that it may cause the reader.

Master list

Pilot

Cherry red, 1968, Ford Mustang Fastback Shelby GT 500.

My moms most prized possession.

For a while I remember it just being me and my mom. When my mom was pregnant, My dad died in a horrible plane accident, leaving just the two of us girls getting into heaps of trouble together. My earliest memories are being babysat by my moms coworkers while she was busy inside the capitol doing important work. Because I didn't see my mom much, I constantly held on to a stuffed grey wolf. The animal never left my hands. I would prop it up on the table when eating and play with it outside. It had become a major comfort mechanism in my early childhood days.

A man I had never met before came to greet my mom one day, asking if he could watch me for a couple hours. He said he had to practice because he had a baby on the way. I remember feeling the stiff and grainy material of the clothes the man wore as I complained about the heat outside. When my eyes adjusted to the sun, there it was; An F-14.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, I completely forgot that toy existed. I dropped it to the ground and wriggled from the man's arms in a full on sprint towards the plane.

He crawled up into the cockpit with me in his lap and let me control the planes joystick. I remember feeling overjoyed by the feeling of being inside of that closed and tight space. I knew in my gut it's where I belonged.

My mother was furious, of course, that her friend had taken me outside without her knowing. But seeing the smile on my face as I wiggled around the joystick and the large helmet fell in front of my eyes, her mind quickly changed. My mom picked up my toy wolf and brought it to the plane. She always explained the interaction between her and the man as such a turning moment in my life as well as hers.

"She's a natural, Charlotte. Just wait 'till she's old enough to fly one." 

"I haven't seen this stuffed animal leave her hands in so long, it's such a nice sight."

The man flipped me around to face him, lifting me into the air to make me pretend that I was flying. I erupted with giggles, sticking my arms out like the airplane.

"Well let me be the first to give her a call sign then." The man said.

My mom laughed. "Call sign? What could iceman possibly want to call my daughter?"

"Wolf. It's already been decided. I'll help her be the best pilot in the program. She'll even pass me in the top gun records." He spoke as though it were a long lost dream of his, to teach. But Iceman was moving up in scansion, he didn't have time to do so.

"You'd do that for me and my girl?"

"Of course, Charlie. Anything for you."

In high school I played all four years of volleyball as well as two years in middle school. In addition to that I also took strength training classes where I lifted weights and worked out with all the other boys sports. There were a couple girls from my team in my class, but none of them pushed me as hard as the boys did.

I mostly focused on upper body. Arms, chest, back, core, all to prepare me for one faithful day junior year. The day that the recruiting scouts for the army came it set up their pull up bar.

They offered a free T-shirt to any student who could do over 10 pull-ups. I stood in a line of boys, confident and ready. I got up to the bar, looking up at its height. I got up on the stool and grasped the bar firmly. 10 pull-ups came easily to me. From behind i could hear some of my friends in my weights class cheering me on. I made it to 27 before I finally gave up.

I was frustrated with myself that I couldn't make it to 30, but seeing the smiles on the recruitment officers faces made that disappointment completely disappeared. A few weeks later, a recruitment package showed up in my mailbox. My mom and I were elated. I know I know, they probably send them to every kid who puts their name and address down for the pull-up challenge but it still felt good.

My senior year I enlisted the day that I turned 18. I was ecstatic for the dream to actually become a reality. I graduated high school with honors cords, sports cords, and a military service cord.

I quickly went into the Navy, completing the required boot camps and trainings in order to become an officer. In between my few years of training, my mom got married to a man named Harold L/n, but we called him Harrie. I liked him a lot, he was extremely supportive and proud of me and every step I took to becoming a pilot. To show my appreciation, I hyphenated my name to be Blackwood-L/n.

I got accepted into the Naval Air Forces program quickly and began my training to learn to fly the fighter jets I remember being obsessed with as a small child. By my senior year in high school I knew the book inside and out, so I was the know-it-all of my class. This caused some tension between the other students and myself, so I was mostly a lone wolf.

I excelled quickly, passing every other student with flying colors. Flying jets is what I was born to do, I could feel it in my bones. I completed the air academy and got deployed on a few missions, proving even more what an exceptional pilot and essential asset I was for the Navy.

One day I got called into my commanders office. He informed me that I had been selected to the Top Gun flight school. This was the moment I had dreamed of for my entire life, and now it was finally happening. There was a brief few month period where I could visit home before being shipped out to the school.

My mom and I spent that entire time finding the best instructors from around there world to teach me how to be the best pilot I could be. There was one man in particular I wanted, but my mom said they had too much history, It would never happen.

I looked up to Pete "Maverick" Mitchell for most of my time in the Navy. I admired his skill and his ego. No matter how many rules he broke or how badly they wanted to get rid of him, the Navy wouldn't let him go. And despite his efforts, he refused to die.

Even without the training of the legendary Maverick, I was successful. I mastered nearly every single skill that was required to fly a plane. Along with all the guts and glory it took to not get killed.

I arrived at Top Gun, introducing myself to all the people I would be beating. One man in particular, constantly got under my skin. Jake "hangman"Seresin. We butt heads more than any sibling or spouse could have. We were constantly one-upping each other. He did 200 push-ups, I did 201. If I got up early to get some practice in, the next morning he was up earlier. It was a constant battle, but I was always just a couple points ahead.

Halfway through my time at the program, I got a devastating message. My mother had cancer, stage 4. I was dismissed from the program but promised a second chance and was invited back. I rushed home as quickly as possible. My step-father was a wreck, he hadn't stopped sobbing for days on end. He had hardly done anything around the house to keep up. I told him not to worry, that I was there. I kept up with the house chores and eventually hired a maid to help us.

While I was cleaning I found an old box and inside of it was my Wolf stuffed animal I had as a child. It was beaten up and in need of a wash, but it made me smile. I visited her, the wolf in hand. Seeing my mom in the hospital, so weak and tired, it hurt me more than I can explain.

"Hey momma, somebody wants to see you." I handed her the toy and her face lit up, laughing for the first time in a while.

"I haven't seen him in forever, oh thank you y/n."

I visited her every chance I got, unfortunately her condition only got worse.

One Sunday afternoon I brought her lunch, her favorite food from our favorite restaurant. She stopped me before I could set up the food and handed me a small red envelope.

"When you go back to top gun, if you see Pete- um, Maverick, please give him this. Do not open it. You will know when the time is right." I was confused, but I knew better than to question my mother.

Then the time came, the hospital had informed us that my mother had passed peacefully in her sleep one night. It took my step-father and I a long time to process and cope with what had happened. Our grief was heavy those couple of weeks after her death, and then her funeral. We kept it small, just close family. Iceman made an appearance, wishing my family well.

"Are you coming back to Top Gun?" He asked. "I've got a spot open for you, whenever you're ready."

"Really? You don't need to keep a spot open for me."

"For Charlie's daughter, anything. Besides, Top Gun needs another graduate who was almost as good as me." He told me with a playful wink.

That's exactly what had happened. The next year I rejoined Top Gun and graduated first in my class. I was now considered one of the top pilots in the United States.

I had heard about the famous stealth mission in 2020 that Maverick led as well as other top gun graduates. I was upset I wasn't invited to participate. I called Iceman to complain but he told me the first person that they wanted was me, but I was unavailable. Earlier that year the navy had deployed me overseas, the lack of invitation made more sense now. The navy needed me elsewhere. Unfortunately, that was the last phone call I had with him before he passed. I was unable to attend the funeral. Devastated, I mourned his death of a father figure and friend from many miles away.

And here we are, 2021 and 32 years old. I rumbled into San Diego in my Cherry Red Mustang Hatchback ready to return to Top Gun for a classified assignment. All I have to say is, the other recruits better watch out, they've never been prey for a wolf.

Next Chapter

[imhereforscm]

I finally shifted to my new apartment which is in the outskirts of the city and it is so beautiful. The temperature is also perfect for fall. My neighbor is a sweet old lady. Can you write another comfort fic with Tauxolouve where he and i take a walk at night and discuss our future, afterwards we eat a ice cream and go back home? Please. I am alone here looking at the stars, i wish he was here with me.

"Everything will find their way" Part 2

Genre: comfort

Warnings: none

A/N: I'm very very sorry for the delay, sweetie!! I hope that's satisfactory, but if it isn't for whatever reason, don't hesitate to tell me and I will write it again. I really don't mind!💖💖💖💖💖💖 Love you!

The stars twinkled from above and you shoved your hands in your pockets, protecting them from the coolness of the breeze.

Autumn was settling into your lives and it was already perfect. The cool weather, the leaves turning brown, orange and yellow and your favourite warm jacket was back around you.

You had gone out to dispose of the trash and when you came back, the sparkling sky stole your breath away.

You stood there in front of your house, your head tilted upwards in admiration of the night sky, which wore all of its jewelry at this hour.

Staring up at the countless silver freckles, a tang of longing stirred within you. The stars always amazed you, but ever since meeting Tauxolouve, suddenly, he was everywhere.

He was in the stars, which reminded you of how his dark eyes shone in every light. He was in the fireplace, offering you the warmth of his embrace. He was in the sweet scent of desserts, letting you indulge into his caramel scent. He was your home, welcoming, warm and enchanting you with every single glance.

You wished he could be here with you, holding you and talking to you. You missed him... So badly.

"Hey." You heard a soft voice from behind you and your stomach tingled at the happiness warming you up on the inside.

"Louie." You said and turned around, wrapping your arms around him as soon as he was close.

He chuckled and hugged you back, squeezing you in his arms just like you've been dreaming of. "How's my angel doing?"

You looked up at him and spoke without letting go of him. You told him about your beautiful apartment and the lovely elderly lady that you had as your neighbour. And you even told him about the weather and how excited you've been for this autumn.

He cupped your cheeks and pulled your face close, your lips meeting and your heart flattering at the sensation of his soft lips fitting so well against yours.

Pulling away, he still held your face, his thumbs tracing your cheek bones as he looked deeply into your eyes with soft and affectionate eyes. "So you like it here?"

"Yeah, I do." You answered. "Everything's good so far. Although, at times it still feels odd."

Tauxolouve's hands fell away from your cheeks and reached for your hand, holding it softly within his. "Want to take a walk?"

"Right now?"

He nodded. "Would you be alright with that?"

"Yes, I trust you."

He smiled at that and gave your hand a squeeze, pulling you along as the two of you stepped out onto the pavement, fallen leaves crunching beneath your shoes and making you grin.

The stars and moon were watching you overhead and marveled at how lovingly you glanced at each other as you walked side by side.

Tauxolouve's thumb traced circles on the back of your hand and then brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "Right now everything feels a little... Odd, as you described, although it is pleasant in the most part." He began. "That's because you just came here and you haven't made any memories yet. But the more you stay and the more you interact with people, your presence will be imprinted here and everything will feel natural."

"You have a nice way of saying things."

He smiled, looking down at his feet. "I just know you'll be happy. You already did the first step and you've found very pleasant things."

Your hand laced farther with his and you laid your head on his shoulder as you walked.

The atmosphere was comfortable and the moonlight was bright as it fell on your path, along with the starlight.

The darkness around you grew thinner as you neared a more public place and your eyes lit up at the first shop you beheld.

"Louie!"

He hummed, his attention focused on you.

"Ice cream." You pointed to the shop whose white light was crawling across the parking lot. "Let's get some!" You said, eagerly and Tauxolouve couldn't even dream of denying that face. You looked so happy and carefree, it was contagious.

"Sure, let's go." He smiled and ruffled your hair softly.

The two of you walked into the store and you tugged him closer to the glass of the fridge and showed him the display of the flavours. His face changed from skeptical to interested and to confident again and you found yourself chuckling at that.

Your cups with the ice cream were cold against your palms as you left the shop and you giggled like little kids, talking among yourselves as you walked to a nearby park and sat down on a bench.

You brought a spoonful of ice cream to your mouth and your lips curled up pleasantly at the sweetness coating your tongue, as you watched a black cat pass by quietly.

"And..." Tauxolouve spoke softly, looking up from his ice cream. "It is obvious, but I'm still gonna say it: I will always be here. I'll be here through your sad times and through your happy times. I will always love you and care for you."

With one hand, you held the cup and with your free one, you reached out for him. "Louie..." You offered him a sentimental smile. "Thank you."

"The future can't be foreseen, but..." He lowered his lips onto your hand and kissed you sweetly. "I assure you, I'll always be a part of it."

[helen-high-water]

Here's part 2 of my sandman fic "graveside chrysanthemums",I tried something I haven't done with my writing before,hope you enjoy it.

For part 1 ,go here.

You were still in the dark place, still suspended in the middle of the ocean, still struggling to breathe.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, perhaps time simply did not exist in the dark place.

You had become a statue, of humiliation,of despair,of loneliness,a testament to your own failings.

There was a thought that seemed to repeat itself in your mind everytime you struggled to move.

"Perhaps it would be better if I stayed here"

You would shake it off,not always,but most times, otherwise you would sit in it,like a blanket of numbness covering you, something about the idea of giving up was so tempting.

But you couldn't allow yourself to give up,you had plenty of things to do,dreams to weave and nightmares to create,etcetera. So you continued to struggle.

Just as you were about to stop struggling to let yourself rest,to relax,even though there was no such thing in this place,you saw a light.

Well,maybe calling it a light would be inaccurate,it was a spark,in the choking darkness of this ocean,it barely registered.

It was yellow,not like lemons,yellow like a sun,it floated towards you, bobbing up and down in the air.

Then it was a butterfly,with golden wings marked with blue circles like eyes,eyes that looked on with no clear emotion,like stained glass,the kind one would see in a church perhaps, shinning as the sun blasted it's rays behind them.

It drifted about, landing on your pointer finger as it's final destination,then it's light extended to form a bubble around your body.

Suddenly you could breath again,even though you did not have the capacity to breath as a human does, you dropped to your knees , heaving on the floor that had come to exist beneath you, your body felt warmth,and you looked up at the butterfly.

It was no longer a butterfly, instead, there was I.

Wings like that of the bug itself mounted themselves on my back,a yellow cloak covered my entire body, extending towards the floor,and matching the wings in thier color at the top,but getting more and more orange as you went down,like a sunset.

My hands were deep in thier long sleeves,and I wore a mask with carvings of closed eyes,black lines on a white background,it covered the entirety of my face,with a white hood that obscured the rest of my head,a necklace of golden chains that ended with a small glass orb hanged from my neck,the orb contained an iridescent crystal.

Before you could gather yourself enough to speak,I said,slightly amused,"my my,what have you gotten yourself into?"

The sound didn't come from me in the way sound travels from someone's vocal cords to the ears of the receiver,it was more like a phone call directly to the soul.

It surprised you for a moment,I continued "you shouldn't try to speak just yet"

"Just breathe,we have plenty of time for any questions--I'm guessing a lot of them--you may have"with this ,I conjured chairs by raising my left hand.

Two simple wooden chairs manifested inside the bubble,I took one,and you climbed on the other.

"This place sure looks welcoming" I announced sarcastically.

"Who are you?" You asked, still a bit breathless,with an aggression that was not entirely uncalled for,but that you didn't necessarily mean either.

"No one important really" I answered with a laugh" but I suppose if you require a name,you may call me...." I stopped as though in thought.

"Lady butterfly" I suddenly exclaimed"has a nice ring to it ,no?"

You seemed to be suspicious of this,but also,you couldn't exactly tell who I was anyway, my voice gave nothing away,I might as well have been a talking set of clothes to you.

There were a lot of questions going through your mind,but you blurted out "where am I?and how did you enter my realm?I cannot sense your presence."

I put my leg,or whatever appendage it was,over the other,and did the same with my hands, though it looked as though I just put one sleeve on top of the other,I then said"the answer of the second question is pretty simple,I just walked in"

This answer immensely confused you and cleared up absolutely nothing,but you had decided that getting out of the prison you were in was the more pressing matter right now.

"As for the first question...." I chuckled,the sound was starting to irritate you.

"Why,king of dreams,you already know the answer" I raised my hands by my sides.

"Currently,we are,or rather you are to be more precise, inside your heart" I added.

"The dreaming is you,and you are the dreaming"I explained the obvious to you"this place is in your heart,or rather the part that holds your pain,your sorrows,past wounds and future worries,you know,the whole shebang"

You,king of dreams, son of time and night,weaver of shadows,you who held galaxies in your eyes, did in fact know,you didn't want to admit that the restlessness you felt reside in you was in any way related to this,for it would be a sign of weakness unbefitting of a creature of the endless,your words,or rather your thoughts, not mine.

Next came another set of enticing questions,you were oddly good at asking questions,or I suppose your mannerisms made people want to answer your questions,even if the questions were unimportant.

"Why are you here then?do you hold any ill will for me,or the dreaming?"you breathed, despite the shivering of your body,your voice was almost entirely undisturbed, almost"I can't imagine you came here for sightseeing"

"I won't patronize you with jokes,dream prince" I moved my sleeves around to gesture as I spoke,like a sentient carpet"well,I will. but at a later time perhaps,this place is rather beautiful though,in a sombre kind of way"

"The reason I came here, however" I uttered "is simply to keep you company!" I chuckled again,this time the sound made you want to throw me into the abyss"I shall be your guard through this unfamiliar place"

"I presumed you would keep your jesting for later" you hissed "as per your own words"

"Oh but lord Morpheus,I joke not!" I was not sure whether the phrase was actually correct,but I never cared for semantics, regardless my point had been made.

"You must excuse me for not being overly enthused about that" you said sarcastically.

"Listen, I'll only stay by your side but a few moments compared to the countless years of your very eventful life"I answered "will you grant me this honor?to be in your presence?"

"It is not as though I have much choice,it seems" and you glared at me!quite ferociously, might I add,your eyes were stars now,but as you were not entirely up to being threatening they returned back to a more human-like shape quickly after.

"Yes,I suppose not" how does one deal with a who knows how old baby,I asked myself this question while thinking about how to approach you,I didn't know the answer but teasing you was fun.

You did something that surprised me,you jolted up from your seat and reached for my mask,I didn't stop you because it was pointless to do so,you yanked my mask off in one flowing motion,and well,you didn't like what you saw.

My mask clanked on the ground,or the floor,or whatever it was,and in it's place was your face.

Or rather,your reflection,it was a mirror,my face is a mirror,I didn't feel like explaining and your reaction was hilarious.

You stood there,shocked,"Well that was just rude" I picked up my mask , flung it over my face,and continued talking as though you didn't do the equivalent of ripping my face off"if you wanted to see what was under my mask you could've just asked" I complained"tsk tsk, always so unnecessarily dramatic"

You didn't hiss this time,you just wondered if maybe you had gone insane,what would it mean for the manifestation of dreams to go insane?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a bit of dissonance as Hob focused his gaze on his surroundings,they slowly went from the usual blurry dreamscape to a much clearer state, everything came into focus and he found himself standing before the entrance to a great castle,so big it was that his neck was starting to hurt as he tried to see the top.

He felt something in his hand,the same gem that Matthew had given him,that cleared up any doubts about where he was.

The door that was so much taller and wider than he was opened with a loud creak,and behind it was a woman with dark skin and pointy ears,her expression was rather grim,but held back by a professional face, throughout the years Hob had seen many different professional faces, but he hadn't seen one so grim.

Lucienne was dressed in fancy clothing ,which made Hob feel rather underdressed for the occasion considering he was still in his pyjamas.

"Greetings,Mister Hob Gadling I presume?" she asked,voice even and collected.

"Yes" he answered "hope I'm not intruding.....I wanna say.... Luciana?"

"Lucienne sir,but we've more important matters to discuss,come"she gestured for him to follow her. leading him through a long empty corridor,followed by a short empty corridor,then a balcony,after that was a room full of birds, mainly corvids,and lastly they made it to the throne room.

Hob was not sure what to expect of Dream's castle,but he certainly didn't expect it to be so...all over the place,but then again dreams and nightmares are all over the place.

The throne room was as majestic as most throne rooms, certainly Hob would've loved to look around if it wasn't for the person standing at the foot of the stairs leading up to the seat,and the raven on her shoulder, immediately catching his attention.

"Why do you think he didn't tell us about this?"he heard her ask the bird.

"I don't know ma'am, I haven't been with him for long but god he can be stubborn" the raven answered.

"He sure can"sighed the lady,with a bit of fondness and a lot of worry.

Hob moved forward,the lady looked up and noticed him,she had a kind face,one twisted in worry,but a kind one nonetheless.

"Hob Gadling?" She asked" Nice meeting you , again, though I don't know if you remember me"

Something sparked in his memory and he recalled the day he met Dream for the first time,there was a woman with him at the time,he could barely recognize her considering the amount of time that passed and the huge change in clothes.

After a moment of befuddlement ,he answered her "you're the one who was with Dream all those years ago!"

"so you do remember!" she laughed"yes that was indeed me, I'm Death of the endless,Dream's sister"

Hob thought most gods were dramatic about introducing themselves,but perhaps it was just his drama queen of a companion,who didn't give him a name for hundred of years, regardless he was also sort of feeling a bit awkward meeting the literal grim reaper because of the whole,you know, refusing to die thing.

"I'd rather we met under better circumstances,I heard some wonderful things about you,but desperate times call for desperate measures" she explained.

Lucienne stepped in to carry on with expounding " Lord Dream has been trapped somewhere,I know not how to describe the place,but he has been in there for a few hours, I'm doing my best to keep things under control from this side"

"Trapped?how did that happen?" Hob wondered,and worry bubbled inside him,looks like that's a no on the party,also his thoughts drifted towards the Burgess incident,that made matters worse.

"No idea" Matthew chimed in to reply.

After a moment of silence, Hob said"Not that I don't want to help dream" he rubbed his neck ,a bit nervous about everything that's happening "but what can I do? I'm just a random guy, I'm not some god or deity or whatever" the whatevers of the universe were insulted by this.

"That you are,and that is what we need" explained Death,she smiled a pained smile"I'd go help him myself but,see the thing is with Dream is that if I were to help him, he'd take it upon himself to return the favor,and I don't want him to think that he owes me, that'll only drive him further away"

"The creatures of the dreaming all can't go there without getting corrupted"Lucienne added.

"And the endless are wierd about thier realms, something something not my realm not my problem " Matthew croaked "It's kind of an important rule I think " it was a lot more complicated than that but Hob had heard the jist of it when he asked dream about family dinners.

Death declared"Dream isn't that weak,he can make it out of there by himself eventually,but I'd rather we get him out as soon as possible"

"I'm still not sure why I'm a good candidate for this though"

"You're Dream's friend,Dream considers you both of equal footing" Death moved around as she spoke,she put her hands behind her back and faced Hob again "if you were to go ,he might be more willing to accept your help"

"I....okay ,I don't want him to get hurt, err..more hurt"

"I know I'm asking a lot here" Death's face lit up "but all you need to do is get him out of his own head" the way she said that made Hob tilt his head,it was the vocal equivalent of air quotes , without the air quotes.

"How do you know that?"he asked.

"That doesn't matter now"Death looked him in the eyes "Please bring my brother back"

Hob was set on helping Dream,and if he didn't Death might just grab him into the afterlife,he didn't think she'd do that but he wasn't entirely not scared of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(sidenote,if you're curious about who the stranger that appeared before Dream, here's a post about them)

[vampiresbloodx]

All these years later.

summary: all these years later since graduation, every night and waking hour, she spent thinking of you.

pairings: larissa weems x reader (reader x oc male x oc daughter [both are just mentioned])

word count: 3.3k

warnings(18+ only): smut & angst, unrequited love, vampire!reader, reader has a child that goes to nevermore academy, reader is married, vaginal fingering, nipple play, body worship, internalized homophobia, arranged marriage, very angsty, thigh riding, larissa wants to kill your husband, old vampire traditional marriages, cheating but gay sex am i right, forbidden love, larissa's mommy and daddy issues, implied abuse.

a/n: hiii I haven't written anything in forever but I miss her so much so here's a fic I started on and finished with an au I had in mind from a dream I had so. Enjoy <3

Larissa knew this was bad. 

She wasn't supposed to get close to you, be near you, even breathe the same air as you. everytime she caught a glimpse of you in class, she couldn't help but stare longer. There was this deep and strange longing she had for you. She could almost hear her mother's voice scolding her and her behaviour. Larissa didn't like it when her mother yelled at her. Her father was a bit more nice, but that was because he wasn't her real dad. 

She tried hating you for so long, distancing herself away from you as much as she could. When she was taken to the academy, that's when she met you for the first time. Well, saw you is the right term for it since she couldn't face you and say hello while you were chatting away so casually with Morticia frump as if the two of you have been best friends for your whole lives. 

That's when the jealousy started happening. 

She didn't like how you made her feel, how unaware you are of how much control you have over her. She didn't like the feeling of jealousy. The twist in her stomach everytime she looked your way, saw your perfect smile and how gorgeous you were in basically anything and everything you wore. How you dressed, how kind and selfless you are to people, you were everything she wasn't and she hated that. 

Larissa knew for sure that if you met her mother, she would like you immediately. Wanting you to be her replacement daughter rather than her own. Because at least she can look at a better version of what she could have been instead of looking at all the flaws she's had with Larissa. 

She hated the way you made her feel so much. That everyday, she kept it all inside her, watched you from afar, being better than her at everything than what she will ever be. Until one day, when the time comes, she will tell you. 

Because she knew she would eventually break. 

–

That day came sooner than expected. 

Everyone from her year that she went to class with all graduated. 

Some got married, had kids, and were successful at their jobs. 

Larissa however, stayed behind at the academy. 

Even when she had a choice to just… leave.

But she found herself not being able to. Even on her last day as she stood up to receive her award, her certificate. She wanted something else, something more than what her mother could ever offer her.

When everybody left the academy to live their lives, she stayed behind. At a school that had become her home. Even if she wasn't that popular like her roommate Morticia, she still liked being in the comfort of her dorm, studying with music playing in the background. Or sitting in the outside era of the main school where you'd see most students go for lunch. She loved the library, the old lady who used to work at the library at the academy and was the absolute sweetest.

Though some days she does miss the smell of her mother's chocolate chip cookies that she made every Christmas that smelled delightful. Or the roast she cooked on Sundays. And how her father would like to tell her stories of the war and his friends and how they meet her mother. She couldn't understand how a kind soul like his would fall in love with a wretched soul like her mother's. They were not similar at all. But it was clear he cared for her and so did she in her own way.

She became the principal of nevermore academy sooner than expected with a lot of work she did on the way. 

And it was fucking worth it.

All the lost hours of sleep, coffee stains and the early groggy mornings. 

And it was all because she hoped to see you again.

Which was silly, how she was the same woman who as a student acted like she hated you, when really it was the exact opposite.

A feeling she could never quite describe. But now that she was older, in her early thirties, she saw things differently now than how she did when she was younger. 

Even now words couldn't help the way she felt for you.

The second she heard the sound of somebody knocking on her door, she wanted to scream. She still wasn’t used to hearing that sound every hour, minute of the date. Then again, she did ask for this, she did work to get where she is now, but she just wished to have just three seconds alone to herself. Without any noise, students coming to her every minute, she just wanted to be able to breathe.

As she stood up, walking towards the large doors of her office, her very own office, that she remembers walking into on her very first day at nevermore academy when she was thirteen. 

Her hand reached the door handle, as soon as she opened it, revealing who ever needed her help at this time, her entire body froze, her breathing turned ragged, her heart was pounding in her chest at the sight of you standing right in front of her, all these years later. 

“Principal weems,” you greeted with a warm smile. Immediately Larissa’s eyes looked down to your hands, no ring, good, she can breathe again. 

Even after all this time that has passed, you still managed to take her breath away. 

Then she realized she was staring. A bit too long. The same thing she did when she was younger. 

“Uh, yes, hello” she embarrassingly stammered, hating how she stumbled over her words there, she straightened herself, finally being able to now look into your eyes without stuttering and freaking out anymore. “Why are you here?--” she questions. 

You raised an eyebrow at her, staring back at her as if she was stupid to ask that. 

“I am here to collect my child? Like I told you in the email I sent you earlier this morning?” you said. 

“Oh! Yes, my apologies, today has been rather… hectic.” she chuckled nervously, letting you into her office. 

Wasn't that a understatement. She could feel an oncoming headache and she took her pain relief this morning with her coffee. 

“Fawn has been an exceptionally good student ever since you brought her here,” she smiled, gesturing a hand towards a chair for you to sit. She watched you take a seat as she went to the jug and turned it on to help with the silence. 

She fiddled with her hands, she grabbed a class and a bottle of wine, she needed a drink and it wasn’t even two pm yet. 

You raised an eyebrow at her, “thought we were having coffee? Last time I remember you were always drinking that stuff.” you let out a laugh. It wasn’t a laugh in mockery or anything like that, but a reminisce of the past. She hated the way her cheeks burned, knowing how red and flustered she easily got around you. As even after all these years, you still managed to twist and turn her stomach into knots until she could barely breathe or look you in the eyes. 

The two of you weren’t exactly close. You hung around Mortcia’s crowd more than you did with her. Though there were times where the teacher would partner you up together and she would think it was some sick and twisted joke from the universe, trying to punish her for something she didn’t even do in the first place. It wasn’t like she asked to have these unrequited feelings for you that run so deep, deeper than the ocean. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she poured both of your glasses a drink of classic red wine. Your gaze was still on her and she didn’t like that one bit. It almost felt like you were analysing her. Her every move, every sound she tried to make, god she hated the way you looked at her but she also loved it a little too much. 

“Only someone like you would be drinking red wine at this hour” you chuckled, your hand pressed into your cheek as you crossed your legs together. She looked at the choice of clothing you wore today, a simple white blouse and black pants. You knew how to look good in everything, she even hated that about you. For this current occasion, you choose a formal outfit by the looks of it. 

Your style has changed so much from the last time she remembered the way you dressed yourself back then. Unlike her you didn’t seem to care at all what anyone thought of you. You wore leather jackets, dark, grunge looks, ripped jeans, old band shirts, tomboy-ish looks, now you looked a bit more professional than you used to be. Even how you carried yourself. It wasn’t like how it was before. 

She smiled, awkwardly handing you the glass and making sure her hands weren’t shaking for you to notice. 

There was this tension in the air, the room felt too hot. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. 

“Larissa? Are you alright?” you asked her, you placed your hand on her thigh and she flinched. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, sorry I just–” she chuckled. “Just tired, that's all. Been a busy week, as always.” 

“I understand,” you said with a small smile. She forgot your hand was still on her thigh and she gasped when you rubbed at her knee gently. She knew it was all out of affection. That you were just that kind you wanted to make things better for her. But fuck. She wasn’t used to you touching her at all.

It set a small flame inside her burst into a wildfire. 

Larissa was captivated by your eyes. They were so beautiful. She loved many things about you, like how soft and kissable your lips were. That the urge to kiss them was too strong for her to ignore. 

“What’s on your mind? I know we aren’t that close for you to tell me everything and anything that’s happened in your life ever since graduation. But… truth be told, I’ve always wanted to get to know you more, Larissa.” 

Your words caught her off guard, her eyebrows furrowed. 

“Why are you telling me this now?” she asks. ���When you spent all that time with my perfect roommate that everybody loved so much.” she scoffed, rolling her eyes at the thought of her and her perfect dark black hair and pretty eyes. 

Of course Gomez had to steal her away from her as well. 

She can never have anything that she wants. 

How she wished to be your date to the rave’n instead of that vampire you went with. That boy you loved didn’t even deserve your time at all. He was not worthy of anything you gave him. Sure, he might have been kind, a sweetheart, handsome, a gentleman perhaps, being the type of person to help an old lady across the street, or save a kitten from being stuck on the tree, and he was the type to open the door for you when nobody else would. 

He was everything she wasn’t. 

“How is silas?” she was hesitant to ask, even speaking that name out loud made her want to vomit. 

“He’s… silas.” you shrugged. “But something tells me you aren’t here to talk about my undead husband.” 

She nods, “you’re right on that one.” 

You grinned, “I’m always right. Took you long enough to see that.” 

“See, if you were always right you would know that I’ve always hated him.” 

“Who? Sorry I forgot who we are talking about.” 

“You know who exactly I am talking about.” 

“Do I?” you teased with a small smile, she wanted to scream. 

In this world where vampires, witches, sirens, shapeshifters exist, vampires have this tradition where people who are born as a vampire will marry their own kind. Silas was from one of the wealthiest families in the world and you were from the oldest family that goes way back before this academy was even a thing. Both yours and silas were not only famous for your name, but the history that was left behind. On how the two of your bloodlines were one of the foundings of nevermore academy, along with the addams, and many more generations below us. Larissa knew falling for you was some kind of curse placed upon her that could never be cured. Falling in love with a vampire was the worst thing anyone could ever go through. Especially when they were already bound to another since they were children by contract of their families to form an alliance. An arranged vampiric marriage was what it was called. It was a tradition no one could avoid. 

Though a part of her hopes, with more generations to come, someone will hopefully break that useless tradition. 

Since in this century it's no longer needed. 

Your daughter, fawn, was your first born of her generation. She was also a vampire, and the day you brought her to the academy she was speechless. It was hard enough to hear that Mortcia had given birth to a daughter named Wednesday addams. Who carried a dark, intimidating aura on her wherever she went and that she barely showed any emotion at all. Luckily, with Fawn she was more like her mother than her silly stupid father. She was headstrong, smart, kind, all the best things she got from you. 

She even looked so much like you it drove her insane. 

She saw your daughter hang around enid a lot, even spending time with Wednesday herself, a girl that frightened everybody. Fawn was liked by everyone. The same way you were back then. 

Everytime she spotted Fawn and stared at her, she smiled. Because everything about her reminded her of you. From her smile, her laugh, her eyes. She just wished she was taking care of her with you rather than him. 

She stared at her wrist to check the time, good. She had at least an hour to kill before the next meeting. 

So she took her risk. 

She leaned in closer, her cleavage showing more, she felt bold and confident, which having both at the same time is bad, really bad. But she couldn’t help herself. The temptation was just too strong. The way you were looking at her was driving her insane. She wasn’t dumb. She saw the way you’d stare at her whenever she’d catch your gaze on her while she was passing by in the halls as you talked with your friends. She saw how much you held back, how much you tried to avoid the feeling as much as she did. And after your arranged marriage with your husband you couldn’t really do anything that you wanted anymore. 

The things that you desired. 

Wanted most. 

The kind of things that got your heart pumping again, as if you could feel your pulse even though you are already dead. 

“Are you… doing anything after this?” she asks, you looked nervous almost, which was a rare sight to see. 

“That depends on what you’re asking of me.” 

You were taunting her and she loved it. 

You were like the ice cold blade piercing through her burning heart, ripping a hole so big that nothing would be able to fix it up again. 

Except for you. 

“Well, we should do some catching up, you and I. It’s been so long.” 

You hummed, the sound sending a shiver down her spine. 

“You’re right,” you said, giving her a smile. “I would love to do some catching up with you.” 

Then she finally broke. 

Larissa leaned in closer, pressing herself into you, she practically fell onto your body as you caught her, wrapping your arms around her. She pressed her lips to yours and moaned, she gasped when your knee met her throbbing core. 

“I’ve missed your scent” you groaned into the kiss, “your taste, especially. Can't forget such delicious sweetness.” 

She whined into your mouth, grinding her pussy onto your thigh. She wanted more, no, needed more. She felt so dirty, rubbing herself against your knee, kissing the same lips that your husband kisses. But she didn’t care. God she’s wanted you for so long that he could walk in right now and see you and her fuck each other in her office in the same fucking academy you two met and “fell in love” while all along she had you in between her thighs, addicted to her taste more than being loyal to your husband that she would love to kill if she had the chance. 

It wasn’t long until you made her come, hard, she knew this was just the beginning of what you could do to her and what she had to offer. It was like a game the two of you played. Kind of like cat and mouse but something better, more wicked and dangerous that it could get you killed. 

Your hands roamed her body as you kissed up her neck, sucking at her pulse. You whined. The sound drives her crazy. She wanted to hear more of it. 

“You’re so cute like this” she chuckled, cupping your face in her hands. “My personal fucktoy, my very own vampire, who treats me like I am a goddess.” 

“You are a goddess.” you moaned, your own drool going down your chin as you wrapped your lips around her hardened nipple, sucking on them. “My goddess. You are the altar of which I worship.” 

She blushed deeply. 

“You’re just buttering me up so I can fuck you real good, better than your own undead, wretched husband of yours could do with his limp dick.” she chuckled, her jaw clenched the more she thought of him fucking what doesn’t belong to him. 

You moaned at her words, you could feel yourself dripping down your leg with how soaking wet you are. “Please, fuck, I need–” 

You gasped when she wrapped her hand around her throat, staring into her heated gaze as her grip tightened. 

“Please, what?” 

“P-please fuck me.” 

She smirked. 

“How could I deny a pretty face like yours?.” 

And then she kissed you. Hard. she slipped a finger inside your cunt and she moaned at how wet you are for her. You whined, bucking your hips into her. Desperate for more. She knew, she just loved toying with you. Watching your face contorted into pleasure with how good she fucks you is enough to bring her to her own pleasure. 

“Please” you pleaded with a gasp, gripping at her sides. “Please–” 

“Shhh, I got you, baby, I got you.” she cooed, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

She added in two more fingers, stretching you out good as she pumps her digits in and out of you rough and fast. Your body was shaking, on the verge of a breakout. She loved watching you, especially when you were like this. You looked so beautiful, just perfect. She just wished she could keep you like this forever. 

“I’m close” you choked, whimpering as she rubs her thumb onto your clit. “So close.” 

“It’s okay. Come for me, darling. I’ve got you.” she smiled.

You came with a muffled cry with her lips pressed against yours as she was drowning out your moans and cries. She didn’t want anyone walking past her office suspecting anything happening that isn’t professional with the principal fucking her one of her students parent and making her come on her office’s couch on her break. 

She can’t deny it was one of the best breaks she’s had in forever. Just seeing you again, makes everything better again. 

You rested your head on her heart that was beating so loud that it was the only thing you heard. You smiled as she wrapped her arms around you. 

“I’ve got ten minutes left, love.” 

“Mhm” you muttered. 

She chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

 “Ten minutes is all I need.”

[katwritessometimes]

In The Dark

Shadow Monster Aizawa x Reader

A collab piece for @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten Citrus Dome Server

Read the other entries HERE

Warnings: somnophilia, dub-con, non-con, tetraphilia eeee tentaicles kind of? Monster fucking, manipulation, tiny little sprinkling of yandere if you squint. 

5kish words

 @bobawithpomegranate ​ & @miscellaneous-bnha ​ thanks for keeping me from jumping off a bridge. This was surprisingly very challenging to write so i hope you guys enjoy.

The sight of your grandmother’s old home brought comfort into your heart in a way nothing else ever could. It had taken much longer than you would have liked to get here, after almost a year of fighting with the family. Legal battles over property and inheritance, you'd finally been handed the keys to the beautiful old Victorian home your grandmother had loved so much. The outside was weathered but held strong, you were sure the inside would be worse after being empty and neglected for so long. With a sigh, you picked up the cleaning supplies you'd brought with you and made your way inside the house. 

You don't notice it at first,

 He’d noticed you the second you walked onto the porch. 

Singing softly to yourself, you make your way through the old house, flipping lights on to make sure the electricity works. Opening up windows and doors to air the dusty old place out. Except once you set your mind to cleaning it becomes blatantly obvious. The house isn't dusty, the house is fairly clean, no dust having settled anywhere, no cobwebs hanging in abandoned corners. You think for a second maybe the lawyer hired someone to come clean before handing over the keys, but you don't recall her mentioning anything like that. 

With a shrug determined to do some light cleaning anyway, you spend the day unpacking some of the stuff you brought and lightly cleaning as you went. The first time you notice it it’s dark out, dim lights illuminating the house. Christ, why did grandma have such shitty lightbulbs in, you’d think an older woman would want brighter lights as her vision faded. The thought slips from you when you hear something crash onto the floor behind you. You turn quickly, something flinting in the corner of your eye as you turn, heart rate spiking, and you freeze. You were sure you saw something going up the stairs. 

Taking a breath in an attempt to calm your breathing, you pick up the painting that had somehow been knocked off its mount. A creaking coming from the second floor has your head snap in that direction. It’s an old house, you chant in your head trying to not let yourself get worked up. You don’t realize you're making your way up the stairs until the old wood creaks loudly under your weight. Your attention is drawn to your grandmother’s room, the only place you haven't been in just yet. You dig around your pocket for the master key that gave you access into the main bedroom, worried that maybe this is where all the dust and cobwebs had scampered off too. You chuckle to yourself at that and it settles your nerves a little, though you can't pinpoint why you're suddenly nervous. 

Much to your surprise, your grandmother’s old bedroom was just as clean as the rest of the house had been, even though no one should have been able to access it. You almost miss the small box sitting on her bed if not for something skittering in the corner of your eyes turning your attention to it. You do miss the shadow that slinks out behind you pausing at the doorway to watch you for a second. You reach out for the ornate box, a letter sitting on top of it with your name written neatly on the front. But before your fingers can make contact with it, the door behind you slams loudly. You jump at the sound, hands coming up to clutch at your chest, curses spilling from your lips as you turn to see the door is closed now. 

“Fucking old house” You yell aloud unable to control your volume after having been spooked. Your yelling makes you miss the deep chuckle that rings out in the air. 

Cute

You pout upset that you’d let yourself be so easily spooked like that. Running a hand through your hair you turn your attention back to the small box and letter picking up both items before heading out of the bedroom. You look back one last time, unsure if you felt ready to disturb your grandmother’s space just yet. Opting to leave it as it was, if only for a little while longer. 

You probably should have read the letter too, things would have made sense much quicker if you had. 

Two weeks of dusting and cleaning out old boxes before you decided it was time to begin moving your things into the house. It had been slightly odd, something for sure was off about the house but you tried not to think about it too much. Handling most of the weird mishaps in the house with a shrug and no real inclination to question it. The last thing that came with you into the new house was your two cats. A sleek black tom who loves you and only you, and a younger larger orange tom who’s all around very friendly. You hate to say you notice a shift in the house when the cats finally settle. Both the boys took to the house as if they’d always been there, something you were struggling with. It was their presence that made it so that you could no longer pretend like you didn’t see the shadows moving. 

Both cats who’d always preferred lazing in sun rays suddenly preferred the dark corners of the living room over the sunny rays leaking in through the large bay window in the house. Demanding meow’s typically indicative of wanting attention, were used in dark corners of the house. Directed at something you couldn’t see. You’d be able to ignore the behavior, except every time you went looking for them when they called. 

You’d find them happily purring, rubbing up against something that wasn't there in the darkness, as if already being given the attention they were asking for. It was creepy, weird, should have creeped you out. But you’d been raised to have a healthy fear and respect towards things you couldn't understand but were not outright malicious. So you tried not to let it bother you too much, don't question the way shadows seem to move. Or when the cats' purr and flop on their backs for tummy scratches in the dark corners of the house.

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The dreams had begun the first night at the house, an all-encompassing warmth that lazily spreads throughout your whole body. Contrasted by cold hands caressing your skin, a deep rich voice whispering dirty things in your ear and working you up to a feverish pitch. 

“Pretty little mouse wandering into my house”  the voice coos in your ear.

And then you’re awake, panting heavily, a groan spilling past your lips as you toss and turn a little in your bed. 

“Fuck.” you whimper out, bringing your arm up over your face as you try and catch your breath. 

 You can’t remember exactly what you dreamt about, only the deep voice murmuring nothings in your ear and cold fingers playing with your folds. You let out an exasperated sigh squirming in bed frustration seeping into your bones. When was the last time you had a dream like that, you couldn't remember? When was the last time you’d been worked up like this, and from a dream no less? You let out a frustrated huff turning and burying your face in the pillow. You could have sworn you heard a deep chuckle ring out. 

They get more detailed, more vivid the longer you're at the house you're almost used to waking up panting and sweaty. The feeling of cool silky tendrils exploring your body lingering for a bit before slinking off as you become more alert. Groggily whining at being awake after dreaming such filthy things. The feeling of your wetness soaking through your panties frustrating you. Always waking up right before the best part of the dream, so you throw the blankets off of yourself in a huff. Spreading your legs wide you trail your fingers over the lingering sensation of someone else’s touch. 

It drives him wild.

Aizawa was on the edge of insanity when you showed up at the old house. A year of solitude will do that to you, he'd been beyond madness when the old lady bought the house all those years ago. Though she's brought him back with a soft kindness only a grandmother could offer.

You,

You brought a clarity to his mind in a different way. Every little curse, every time you scold the house when something disappears. Every time you touched yourself to thoughts of him, to the lingering feeling of his tendrils and hands on you. Aizawa was able to pull himself little by little out of the pit insanity and loneliness had pulled him into. You were so easy too, subconsciously letting the shadow creature infect every ounce of your being. He'd managed to seep into your dreams easily enough, a lonely pent up girl. He liked how you squirmed in your sleep. 

Desperate little whimpers spilling from your lips as his cool fingers explore your body. It was addicting, the way your warmth spread through him with every touch, every explorative lick of your body lighting a fire deep in Aizawa's belly. 

“Pretty little thing aren't you.” Aizawa coos in your ear, and you always react so beautifully to his voice. Your sleeping body responding with a soft whimper, he lets his tendrils explore every inch of you. Slipping underneath the silk PJ top and skimpy little shorts you always wore to bed. You were practically offering yourself up to him each and every night. How could he ever resist when your body reacted like this to his every touch. He’d started slowly at first, only manifesting his tendrils to creep along your body as you slept. 

Once you’d been there for a few months he didn’t even have to worry about you waking up. Having invaded your dreams enough to be able to keep you in a nice deep sleep while he had his way with you. Settling himself between your legs fully manifested, never happier to have this solid form as when he's trailing large callus palms up to your soft legs. It’s so easy, really he can’t help himself, your wetness quickly soaking through your panties as cold fingers rub at your clit. Heady little moans spilling from your sleeping frame and it makes him giddy, trailing a large hand up and under your shirt. Pressing against the soft skin of your stomach and trailing up to gently squeeze at your breasts. Aizawa loves the way your body reacts to him, whimpering and arching against his touch. He shifts then, leaning over your sleeping body, caging your head between his hands, leaning down to nuzzle his nose into your hair.

Can’t help himself as he trails open mouth kisses down your neck, tangling his fingers through your hair, you lean into his touch. A soft whimper of please slips through your lips and Aizawa can barely contain himself as his hips buck against your core. 

“Begging for me in your sleep, sweet girl, already knows who she belongs to. Don’t you.”  

You mewl, a soft pretty sound that Aizawa plays in his head over and over for days. Humping into your soaked panty-clad pussy desperately. His tendrils emerging from his back of their own accord, stroking and rubbing up against you as he mindlessly pleasures himself against your unconscious frame. Your little pants and moans edging him on until he's groaning against your neck, spilling himself onto your cute little silk PJ shorts. Aizawa lets himself bask in the feeling of your warmth against him littering your face in kisses. 

“My good girl.” 

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You conclude something is living in the house one night during an intense thunderstorm. Living in a house with some creature that may or may not try to eat you? Cool fine, no worries. But a thunderstorm? The loud unpredictable booms that tear through the air make you jump every single time without fail. 

You flinch, once again roused by a loud clap of thunder and a harsh flash of lightning. An involuntary whimper slipping past your lips as you curl up into a ball on the bed doing your best to block out the noise of the raging storm. 

You can feel it when a cool blanket envelopes you, a shift in the air that muffles all of the intense noise. The feeling of something carding its fingers through your hair comes next, ever so lightly scratching at your scalp. “It’s just a storm” A deep voice that seems to come from all around whispers and a strange comfort washes over you as your body begins to relax. You're half asleep, it's easy to lean into the gentle caress when you're not quite awake. Easy to ignore the feeling of tendrils creeping across your legs and stomach. You can't help but feel slightly comforted by them in your half-asleep state. 

 An exceptionally loud clap of thunder jolts you into a more awake state and you shoot up in bed. The hazy fog that was keeping you calm dispelling and you whimper as the comfort leaves you. “Please don't leave” you whisper aloud unsure to who or why you even spoke. A deep voice coos at you as thunderclaps outside again and you tremble. A yelp slips past your lips and your hands reach out towards the deep voice as if on instinct. Something safe that will soothe you if only you can reach out and touch it.

 A chuckle thick like honey floats into your ears and your hands meet something soft. You're groggy, half asleep, and confident you're just imagining things, but that doesn't take away from the comfort. It feels like a million different arms wrap around you, pulling you in towards something solid and the hazy fog returns your body relaxing as the tendrils tighten almost uncomfortably around you. Wrapping you up in a cocoon that feels safe and secure, the thunderstorm outside fading into the background and all you can concentrate on is the deep voice mumbling nothings in your ear. 

It's in the days after the storm when you can still hear his deep voice in your ears and feel his warm touch lingering on your body. That you remember the letter and box your grandmother had left you. You feel a little stupid for not thinking of reading them earlier, having been caught up in the whirlwind of moving you'd put them off to the side and almost forgotten entirely about them 

To my lovely granddaughter, 

If you’re reading this then it means you've agreed to the stipulations I included for ownership of the house. This place is special, and if you take care of the house its caretaker will return the favor. Be patient with him, it takes him a little while to warm up but he won't hurt you. I promise I haven't gone crazy with old age. Allow yourself to be open to the things in life we can’t explain. I hope the house is as good to you as it was to me in my old age. 

It doesn’t explain much, but coming from a family that believed in the supernatural made it so that your grandmother's cryptic words didn't freak you out as much as they should have. They made you feel better actually, soothed the part of you that was nervous you might be going crazy. The small box held a pendant, a small but brilliant ruby ordaining the center of it delicate but practical enough for daily wear. You can't help but slip it on and admire the pretty jewel. 

Aizawa is more active after that, the haze in his mind settles when he sees you wearing his necklace. You notice it too, the shadows in the house somehow softening, almost playful. He likes to move your things around so he can hear you huff in frustration. Every curse every time you yell at him, the fog in his mind clears.

He gets bolder around the house, slowly but surely, starts moving things around more obviously. Enjoys making you jump by slithering his tendrils across your ankles while you're cooking. Or shutting off the lights while you shower just to hear your cute little yelp. He likes that you’re somehow not scared of his presence but still easily spooked overall. 

“That foundation was $50 and if it's not back in my makeup bag when I come back I swear to god I'll keep all the lights on for a week.” You see the shadow swirl in the corner of the bathroom, and you know it's smiling at you. You roll your eyes but the next morning your foundation is sitting right on the bathroom sink. 

You begin to catch glimpses of it, of him. As if your attention is helping him manifest fully after a long time of being nothing but a wisp of smoke. Most obvious when your eyes scan the house and you can almost swear a man is petting one of your cats. Only to double back and see your cat rolling over against a dark corner of the room. You almost stop feeling uneasy, almost. 

It all comes to head on a night where sleep seems unreachable. You were frustrated, panting, skin warm, and sticky with sweat as your fingers skillfully circled your clit but no relief came. You let out a frustrated ‘fuck’ throwing your head back onto the pillow and tossing a hand over your face. You’d been pent up for a while now, the weird lewd dreams working you up but never getting you anywhere. You do your best to relax into the bed, accepting defeat with a groan and hoping sleep overtakes you quickly. 

The feeling of something wisping against your ankles brings you back from the edge of sleep. Cool ever so soft touches trail up your legs, you shiver at the cold sensation against your still warm and sweaty skin. Your eyes flutter open but you're only met with black, body tensing a little as cold tendrils stroke your face. 

“You’re ok little one.” The voice is deep against your ear, a cold forked tongue licking up the side of your cheek. “I’ve got you” The same soothing voice you’d heard during the thunderstorm. Except for this time, it's laced with something other than softness. “I’ve been watching you, little human. Spreading yourself open shamelessly, playing with that pretty pussy out in the open. Pretending like you didn’t know I was here to watch.” Aizawa coos.

You whimper at the words, mist curling around you as a dark chuckle fills the room. “Tease” he snarls in your ear and you can’t help yourself as your hips buck up at the sound. Something solid forms between your legs, the soft smooth thing wraps around your ankles assisting in spreading your legs out wide. The deep voice tsks against your ear, cold skin and stubble rubbing against your cheek “You could at least pretend like you're not enjoying this.” 

Your face flushes as he teases you, the sensation of his foreign appendages exploring your body exciting you in a way you can't quite place. They’re not hands that much you can tell, you can distinguish his hands by the callus texture as he strokes a thumb over one of your nipples. Tweaking at it gently until it perks against his fingers. 

“Aren’t you scared little mouse” you can feel his tongue lapping at your neck, sharp teeth pricking the skin there and you let out a whimper. Managing only to shake your head, arching your chest up into his touch as he plays with you. “Desperate little human, willing to take just about anything if it means being satisfied.” You choke out a protest but can’t help the soft moan that bubbles out of your mouth as Aizawa presses his thigh against your sex. He coos into your ear when you begin to hump him mindlessly. 

“Such simple little creatures humans. Driven by desire, and willing to fuck just about anything aren't you little one?” You shake your head in protest, but the excitement pooling in your belly betrays you. Aizawa chuckles and pulls away from you a little, tendrils pooling from him and eagerly joining the fray. The limbs have a mind of their own, each appendage going about playing with you in different ways. One replaces his hands, squeezing and pinching at your breasts. Another brings your hands up and holds them above you keeping you still with minimal effort. A few others explore your body and Aizawa watches, as one of his appendages eagerly begins tugging aside your cute little PJ bottoms. 

You whine out a “No” as the cold air hits your soaked entrance “That's not what your pretty little pussy is telling me.” Aizawa chuckles watching as the tendrils gather your juices up, gently circling your clit and parting your folds. “Look at you, soaked and ready for me aren't you.” His hand replaces the tendril and you feel cold fingers press into your heat. Your pussy clenches at the intrusion but you buck into him automatically. Already worked up from playing with yourself before, your body betrays you as your mind hazes and all you can think about is pleasure. 

“P-Please” You choke out tugging against the restraints that only tighten when you struggle. Aizawa cocks an eyebrow up at you as he leans down, nuzzling at your inner thigh. Tongue lapping at the juices running down between your supple ass. He hums when you beg a smile tugging at his lips, his fog finally taking hold of you. 

“What was that little mouse? Did you say something” He accentuates his words with another finger and you cry out as he finger fucks you. His tongue lazily licking at the edges of your pussy and then up to rub at your clit. You whine, hips bucking up and Aizawa sighs another tendril coming to wrap around your waist and pins you to the bed. 

“Be still, or I'll leave you here.” You freeze at that babbling for him not to leave you and settle your hips. The appendage keeps you still squeezing you just a little too tight. 

“That's a good girl.” Aizawa hums, turning his attention back to your core. “You look so pretty like this baby girl, spread out for me to do whatever I want. You just keep giving me those pretty little noises and I'll make you feel good, okay?” You moan in response and Aizawa clicks his tongue, the tendril circling your stomach squeezing until it hurts. “Let me hear you say it.” Aizawa snarls. 

You gasp as pain seeps into your pleasure “Yes, please I'll be good.” The pressure against your sides loosens and you're able to breathe again panting softly as the pain begins to fade. Aizawa doesn't say anything, pulling his fingers out of you and bringing them up for a taste. He hums satisfied and then he's moving your body. Positioning you onto your stomach, cold hands lifting your ass as he positions you just how he wants. His tendrils keep your arms together in front of you, stripping you of your PJs and keeping your legs spread just enough to give Aizawa the perfect view of your ass and dripping pussy. A smile, just a bit too wide spills over his lips as he settles himself between your legs. Aizawa is hard, painfully so but he takes his time sliding a hand over the curve of your asscheeks. Trailing down your back and up to the back of your neck, squeezing gently before trailing back again.

 With a hum, he lazily strokes your dripping folds, cooing as you press your ass back into him wiggling a little desperate for him to fill you. A harsh smack rings out as his palm connects with your ass “Patience little mouse.” He snarls leaning down to the opposite cheek and biting down just a little too hard. You cry out, tears pooling in your eyes and you bury your head into the pillow. Mind overcome by a lustful haze, you just want him to fuck you already. 

Your wish comes soon enough when you feel something thick prodding at your entrance. You gasp as the tip of Aizawa’s cock penetrates you, gasp turns into a desperate moan as he presses into you little by little. He lets out a deep guttural moan of his own as your warmth encircles him, greedily squeezing his cock. Your warmth is addicting and it doesn’t take too long for Aizawa to start bucking into you. He sets a brutal pace, the appendages holding your waist upkeep you still, nice and steady for him to fuck into while his hands explore your body. 

You curse desperate little moans and obscenities leaving your lips as he fucks into you. His cock stretches you to your limits, almost painful as the creature fucks into you desperately. There's a shift, and you feel his hands come up to your middle, pulling you up against his chest as he fucks you. You feel his face nuzzle against your cheek as one of his hands coming to rest against your belly as he fucks you. You hands are suddenly free and you reach up, feeling your fingers pass through a cool mist, before finding something solid. Soft wisps of something, that wrap around your fingers, rolling over them in waves as you entwine them into what you assume is his hair. 

“Such a good girl, you take me so well darling. Letting me fuck into your womb like this.” Aizawa presses his hand against your stomach pushing back on himself as he becomes desperate. 

“Wanna see” The words are a desperate whine and you don't even really register when you say them. Aizawa sputters a little pace wavering at your words. His fingers brush against the delicate necklace you wear his necklace, and for a second his mind clears. But you whimper a desperate sound that breaks whatever sliver clarity he'd found and a darkness takes over his features again. His fingers abandon the necklace and trail up to your neck fingers wrapping around it then squeezing.

“What was that you little slut.” He snarls in your ear and you can't help yourself as you cry out 

“Please, wanna see you, wanna watch your cock fuck into me.” Your face flushes as you admit this out loud. A growl coming from the man, thing currently fucking your brains out and you can't do anything but tug at his hair and lean into him further as he uses you. Aizawa stills a little, and you whine desperately doing your best to bounce on his cock as he stops moving. Suddenly you can see again and he's fucking into you, go to say something but you see it, a black wispy tentacle like thing appears in front of your face. Aizawa’s hand that was wrapped snugly around your neck comes up to squeeze your cheeks and the appendage gives you a cheeky little wave before filling your mouth. 

“Wanna watch yourself get stuffed, fine, we'll use all of your cute little holes. How does that sound little one.” You whine around the tentacle and then he’s picking up his pace. Hand squeezing your throat so he can feel it at his tendril fucks into your neck, you take him so well. This is it the broken part of his brain hisses she's the one. Aizawa shakes his head, the feeling of your fingers in his hair grounding him for a moment and presses your body back into the mattress. 

His movements turn erratic as he fucks into your overwhelmingly tight little pussy. Pretty little moans spilling from you as he fucks you and his tentacles play with your clit and throat. You take him so well, respond so beautifully to his touch, you weren't scared and accepted your place quickly. He brings his fingers up to the little nub between your legs, replacing his tendrils and pressing fast little circles against your already abused clit. It doesn't take long after that, your body presses into the mattress, a tentacle fucking your throat, and some creature’s cock kissing at your cervix the thought alone is too much. But you spill over when Aizawa’s teeth sink into your neck, your body spasming as your orgasm bubbles over. 

Aizawa grunts from above you, your body going limp as he bites into you fucking you through your orgasm and chasing his own using your spent body for his own pleasure. He spills in you soon after, his mind just a little bit hazy. Ever so gently Aizawa pulls his tendril out of your mouth, drool, and his own slick trailing from your mouth as he does so. He coos as you whimper, pressing a hand over your ass to admire the way your pussy stretched to accommodate him. Humping into you a few more times before he pulls away completely. He debates for a moment letting himself disappear back into the shadows, but he hasn't been this real, this solid in so long. 

Your whimpering slices through his thoughts and before he can stop you, you're on your back looking up at him. Instinct makes him retract all of his extra limbs, making himself look half normal minus the wisps of hair that always seem to move on their own. You blink up at him for a moment body sore but satisfied and you bring your arms up to him. Aizawa is unsure, body flickering into shadows but you speak up before he can fully dissipate. 

“Stay with me” You manage to croak out, throat a little sore from the abuse you endured. You weren’t scared of him, if anything he was handsome and he'd fucked you till you were satisfied. You see the hint of hesitation in his eyes but you crinkle your nose and tilt your head cutely making grabby hands at him and he can’t help himself. 

Aizawa lays down and you curl into him on instinct, his body now warm against yours. Your fingers find their way up to his hair, giggling as the locks lace themselves with your fingers. He brushes some of your hair back and you whine as he touches at your neck. Small bits of blood pooling where he’d sunk his teeth into you. His split tongue peaks out automatically, licking it up and gently lapping at the tender spot on your neck as you whimper. 

“I get a little nuts when I'm on my own.” it's an apology, and you don’t think about why you feel safe in his arms, or why you don't question the creature laying with you, why you're not scared. Instead, you hum softly, nuzzling yourself into the crook of his neck as Aizawa lazily runs a steadily cooling hand down your back. 

“It's ok, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.” You hear yourself say and he hums into your hair acknowledging your words. A twisted smile creeping its way onto his lips as his grip tightens around you. The part of Shouta that’s fallen too deep into insanity to come back fully snickers at your words. 

As if you had a choice. 

​

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@bbygirlpastel @thewheezingwyvern

[honeycomb-cinammonroll]

SHE - L.E

SUMMARY: Through the years (Y/N) has fallen in love with Lily Evans while she falls for James Potter.

PAIRING: Lily Evans x femSlytherin!reader.

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

WARNINGS: Angst with a sad ending. OOC Severus Snape. Mention of death. I cried while writing this so beware.

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Am I allowed to look at her like that?

Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at?

Lily was laying face down in your bed, she wore a long T-shirt that barely covered her thighs, while you changed your outfit. You tried not to look out of respect, however you couldn't help but worry for your sanity. After all, being in love with your best friend meant having to endure looking at her without being able to touch her or kiss her.

If someone asked you when you realized you were completely smitten with the redhead at your side, you would answer in a heartbeat. Fourth year, Slytherin had won the Quidditch cup after a rough game against Gryffindor. All her housemates were booing and yelling, but not Lils, she ran to the other side of the pitch and tackled me in a bear hug.

“What do you think?” You asked her. Lily dropped her magazine on the bed and turned to look at you, her bright green eyes roaming your body as she examined the lime green dress you wore for your friends date.

“Gosh (Y/N) You're such a babe.” You knew she meant it, but not in the way you would've liked. Still you smiled brightly at her. But deep inside you, you longed for the day when those words were more than just friendly, when Lily Evans looked at you with the same adoration and love that you had for her.

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

You would find her in a polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

Lily Evans always carried around that peach flavored chapstick everywhere. It was her thing, her perfume was a green apple scent that you gifted her for her birthday, you didn’t know, but she wore it everyday. It made her feel closer to you, her best friend.

You on the other hand were never seen without that muggle camera, your mother had given it to you and you carried it everywhere, most of the polaroids you took were of the daily Hogwarts life, studying at the library, hanging at the Three broomsticks, spending time with Severus and Lily.

The picture you cherished the most however, was a polaroid of the Gryffindor redhead, Lily appeared smiling at the camera, her head tilted a little bit to the right, her hair loose while her eyes were closed, the sunlight couldn’t have been more perfect because it captured her essence brightly.

“Are you ever going to tell her?” Severus asked, clearly annoyed at your lack of bravery and Lily’s obliviousness. You looked at the other side of the great hall, Potter was talking to her happily while Lily rolled her eyes, but you could see the smile that creeped on her lip.

“Let it go, Sev. You and I both know it would only end badly.”

I'd never tell

No I'd never say a word

And oh it aches

But it feels oddly good to hurt

“Merlin, When is he going to give up?” You said, your tone clearly showing how annoyed you were at James Potter, maybe it was the fact that he could express how he felt without the fear of judgment, of losing Lily because he never really had her. But then again, you didn’t have her either.

“I don't know, but he's getting less insufferable. Don't you think so?” You rolled your eyes, Lily was caught off guard by this, you were never one to act that way. If only she knew just how badly you wanted to tell her, show her how you truly felt.

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” She asked, completely oblivious to the bad feeling that settled into your chest, you got a hold of your books and abruptly stood up. “I’m perfectly fine, I just remembered I have to go and ask professor McGonagall something about that essay.”

With that, you left the library, the tears that rolled down your cheeks went unnoticed by Lily, but not by a certain glass wearer Gryffindor that had been watching you from afar.

She smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

You would find her in a polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

You loved to spend your nights on the Slytherin common room, especially when it was cold, you were wrapped around a warm blanket, laying on the love seat while the fire of the chimney brought you comfort, the book in your hand that narrated the love story of two naive teenagers spoke to you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, (Y/N)?”

“Huh?” You raised your head from your book to look at Lily, she stormed into the empty common room, something she did since both you and Severus were Slytherins and you used to sneak her in. She was just back from her first ever date with James Potter, a few weeks ago she had asked for your opinion on her outfit, and ever since then, you both were drifting apart.

“I asked what on earth is going on with you lately? You haven't spoken to me in three days, you act distant, and all of a sudden James tells me that he thinks you're in love with me!”

You noticed the tears that rolled down your cheeks, your heart was beating so rapidly that you believed it would get tired and stop. “Would it be so bad if I was?” Your voice sounded so vulnerable, broken.

She stood there, just looking at you with her mouth parted, at a loss for words. “Wh-what?”

“You stood from your seat, fully facing Lily, her fiery red hair matched the fire that you felt at the pit of your stomach. “Would you be so disgusted by me if I told you that I love you? That I have fallen for a girl who happens to be my best friend?”

“ (Y/N) I-'' She tried to carry on but you continued talking, getting closer and closer to the girl you loved. “That the reason why I needed space was because i can't stand the thought of you and James Potter because that should be me and-”

This time, it was her who took the next step, Lily got a hold of your shirt and pulled you towards her, the movement so sudden you would have fallen if it wasn't for the pair of hands that held you by the waist.

All your life, you dreamed for the moment your lips met, and now that it was happening, your mind couldn't think about anything but her. Lily Evans tasted just like that stupid peach flavored chapstick, the smell of her perfume was so intoxicating and you felt like you were floating. And at the same time, it was such a bittersweet feeling that was installed on your chest.

Lily pulled apart just as abruptly as she kissed you, both of you had tears in your eyes, she wouldn't even look you when she turned around and without a single word spoken, left, leaving you behind. All you could think was how it was perhaps the ending of your story, one that never even had the chance to begin.

And I'll be okay

Admiring from afar

Cause even when she's next to me

We could not be more far apart

And she tastes like birthday cake and storytime and fall

But to her

I taste of nothing at all

A month had gone by and even if you tried to speak to Lily, she avoided you at all costs, by the second week you had accepted that not only had you lost a friend, you had lost your other half.

So, taking matters into your own hands, you stood outside the Gryffindor common room, trying to ignore the deathly glares you received from the other members of the house.

Once you spotted Lily leaving the common room, you got a hold of her hand. “I have to tell you something.”

All it took was a look into your eyes to know that this was your last chance of making things right between both of you, so she nodded as she said goodbye to Marlene and Alice.

As Lily guided you through the halls and into an empty classroom, you felt your chest tightening once more, what you were about to do had you in tears already. She opened the door and you threw yourself into her arms.

“I love you Lils,” You said, the tears that fell from your eyes right into her shirt were the last thing you worried about, her arms wrapped around your torso and she held you just as tightly.

For a couple of seconds that was all you did, hold each other.

And then you broke apart, looking into those green eyes once more. Shit, maybe green has been your favorite color for all the wrong reasons. You leaned in and pressed a kiss on her cheek. Your hands were intertwined together as you whispered once more. “I love you, Lils.”

“James asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you-” You smiled, although it didn't quite reach your eyes, you promised yourself this was the last time you cried over her. Over something that never happened. “Because, it's my way of saying goodbye Lily, I'm sorry,”

After that day, the world was just a little gloomier, you would find her looking at you during class, cheering from the stands while you played Quidditch, but not once did you allow yourself to look back. Often you wondered if she too had been just as enamored by you as you were with her. Maybe she just couldn't take that leap of faith with you.

Had you known that it would be the last time you'd speak to her, you would have repeated those same three words until it stopped making sense, in the end, Lily Evans died young, and you went on to live with the memory of those piercing green eyes and the taste of that cherry chapstick.

She meant everything to me...

[craftycheetah]

Brain and Brawn pt.3

CW: none

taglist: @wh0reforlevi

pt. 1 || pt. 2 || pt.4 || pt.5

Pacing up and down Mina’s dorm, you started to overthink, but at the same time, you were on a serotonin overload.

“Breathe, bestie. You’ve been muttering and pacing since you got here almost an hour ago. Also you still haven't told me what’s got you so riled up.” “Calm down? Mina, I can’t calm down. I asked him out. I asked Hitoshi Shinsou, literally the cutest, smartest, nerdiest guy ever!”

“Okay….and?”

“And?! Did you not hear me?”

“I heard you but I don’t see what’s the big deal. You’ve been on a lot of dates before.”

You scream into your hands, “I know but it’s different this time, I like him and I asked him out,”

Mina keeps painting her nails, “Sis, chill. It’s just one date, act normal.”

Glaring at her, you whine before throwing yourself face-first into her sheets again. “I told you I’m not good at romantic stuff like this. Come with me.” “I’m sorry, you want me to do what? I’m not third wheeling cause you can’t get your emotions together.” “Wow. Rude. Also, you can just bring Eiji, so you won’t feel alone.” “You do realize you’re paying for us now right?” You stare at her, trying to respond, sputtering as she raises an eyebrow at you. “Ugh, fine.” “Thank you. Now go text him.”

You huff but pull out your phone anyway to start texting Hitoshi.

You groan again and thump your face into the comforter over and over again. “I’m an idiot….” “When it comes to romance, yes, you are. Now, you need an outfit cause hoodies and sweats are not cute,” Mina tells you, already getting up to go to her wardrobe.

“Don’t make me look stupid,” you call out as she walks away. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Putting his phone down, Hitoshi groaned at the burning sensation that blossomed across his face. “Why is she so fucking cute?!” he says to himself as his cat, that technically isn’t his cat, Luna, saunters toward him. “I’m okay, don’t worry. I’ll be coming back late today. I don’t know if you’ll still be here by then, but I‘ll see you tomorrow.”

As six o’clock grew closer, Mina had you sit in her chair for a retwist and trim since your undercut was getting a little long. She skillfully shaved it down, returning it to its previously buzzed form before putting on some lip gloss and eyeliner on you. After finishing your hair, she helps you put on a white floral dress that swishes around your legs and a pair of red and white sandals. On her, it passed her knees, on you……it just sits on your mid-thigh awkwardly.

“Why the fuck are you legs so long?” Mina asks when she steps back to admire her work.

“Genetics. How do I look?” You turn around once.

“Super cute, way better than what you usually wear.”

“Hey!”

“All you wear are gym clothes or sweats, (Y/n).” “No, I wear dresses! I just don’t like to wear them that often. Sometimes shorts, too.”

“Those crusty ass biker shorts?”

“Fuck you, I like to be comfy. Comfy means biker shorts and stuff. Also, you can’t say I don’t clean up nice! Remember that suit I wore?” “Woulda risked it all that day.”

“Aww, you flatter me,” you smile.

Knock knock

The door opens, and a head of black hair peeks in.

“Babe, you read—woah….who’s this?” He points at you.

“Ugh, it’s me, dumbass,” you scoff, “(Y/n).”

He gawks for a second, taking a good look at you, “No fucking way. You’re wearing a dress! Oh my fucking God, you’re adorable.”

You and Mina roll your eyes, “Anyway, he’s waiting for me, I’m sweating like a hog already”

“You can do this,” Mina encourages you, “Act normal.”

“Yeah, okay, normal,” you smack your cheeks to pep you up, “Let’s do this!”

Downstairs, Hitoshi is just as nervous waiting for you. “Denki, I feel like I’m gonna mess this up. I’m gonna do something stupid. I can feel it,” he groans at his friend on the phone.

“How?” Denki replies.

“I dunno. I just feel off….” “You’re the most intelligent person I know! There’s no way you can do something stupid. It’s impossible.”

“Thanks, Denki,” he chuckles, rolling his eyes. “I gotta go, but thanks. You’re my best friend.”

As Denki hangs up his phone, a large hand cages him to the wall. He meets two pairs of beady dark brown and red eyes.

“You! You’re friends with that emo freak, right?” Yo snarls.

“Y-yeah?” Denki squeaks.

“Where is he now?”

Denki frowns, “Why do you wanna know?”

“Cause I’ll break your fucking nose if you don’t tell me, dunce face,” Katsuki warns, raising his fist.

Denki squeaks in terror, “He’s not here! He went out! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Where?” Yo shakes him a little.

“I-I don’t know he was walking outside near the D Dorms!” “Isn’t that where Mina and (Y/n) live?” “Little shit’s on a date!” Yo realizes, tossing Denki aside. “Hey!” he yells, only to get cut off by Katsuki’s glare. “Where are they going?” the angry blonde barks.

“I don’t know!”

“Aren’t you friends with Mina's boyfriend?” Yo asks Katsuki. “Text him and ask what he’s doing.”

“Finally, you have a good idea for once.” Katsuki pulls out his phone

Denki looks between the two men towering over him. “Can I go now?”

“Beat it, peppy,” Katsuki growls as Denki scrambles away towards his dorm.

*

Stepping out of the elevator, you follow behind Mina and Eijirou as you all exit the dorm. As Hitoshi noticed Mina and Eijirou walk towards him, his eyes locked onto your form and couldn’t pull away. “Holy….”

“Hey ‘toshi,” you smile.

Staring at you, his mouth was agape, unable to form a sentence. Eijirou chuckled at the purple-haired man’s response and walked over, gently nudging him out of his daze. “You good man?” he asks, looking down at him.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay. You look great (Y/n).”

“Thanks,” you giggle. “So do you guys wanna go to the movies or hit the arcade first?”

“I think the arcade’s a good idea. What about you Eiji?” Mina asks her boyfriend.

“I’m cool with whatever,” he shrugs.

“Toshi?” you call out. “I’m okay with the arcade.”

“Great, let’s go!”

Following Mina and Eijirou, you hung back with Hitoshi as you hugged his bicep before walking beside him. “So, anything exciting happening for you, toshi?”

“I became captain for the school’s academic decathlon, but that’s probably boring for you.”

“What?! That’s amazing! With you leading I know your team will win gold!”

“Heh, thanks. So, how about you?” Hitoshi smiles shyly.

“Championship game’s next month. We’re playing against Shiketsu State.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Me?! Nah, I’ll be good…hopefully.”

“You’ll do great! I know you can. You’ll have all of us cheering you on, including me.”

Looking away for a moment, you felt the heat rise up your neck to your cheeks as your heart soared at his words. 

Once the four of you were down the block from the arcade, you heard the one person you knew would ruin your night out with your friends and crush.

“Cocoa butter~.” Yo calls out.

Attempting to push Mina and Hitoshi down the block, your efforts worked for a moment until the two people caught up to you. “Go go go go go go,” you hiss until you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey three-pointer,” Katsuki smirks, stopping you in your tracks. “Ei.”

“Sup, ‘suki,” Eijirou nods.

“What are you guys doing this fine evening?” Yo smiles before glaring at Hitoshi. “Didn’t know nerds stayed out this late. Shouldn’t you be studying right now?”

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend? Oh wait.”

Mina snickered as you covered your mouth to stifle yourself. “We’re going to hang out at the arcade. Why?”

“We could come with you. Make it a group hangout,” Yo suggests.

“The more the merrier right?” Katsuki adds.

“Well…,” Mina starts. “We were doing pretty well on our own, just the four of us.”

“Aw,” Yo smiles like the little shit he is, “But it’s never a bad thing to have more people,right?”

“I mean…guess not.”

“Great! Shall we then?”

He tries to throw his arm over your shoulder, but you smack it off.

“You look good babe,” Yo tells you when he sees your outfit, “Never dressed up like this for me.”

You cringe, “Maybe it’s cause you never actually took me anywhere. Look if you’re coming, don’t talk to me.”

You and Hitoshi walk a little further forward than everyone else.

Mina is just as annoyed as you are, “Weird coincidence you idiots are here.”

Katsuki scoffs, “Whatever cotton candy, we were just passing by and saw you guys.”

“Yeahhhhhh, I don’t buy it.”

Eijirou clears his throat, “I may have told ‘Suki.”

“Why would you do that?!” Mina smacks his arm.

“Ow—I didn’t think it was that big a deal! Like Suki said, ‘more the merrier’”

Mina groans, “Whatever, just leave (y/n) alone for once. Y’all ain’t even together anymore.”

“And let her be with that fucking weirdo?” Yo scoffs, “No fucking way.”

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping