#i have watched the netflix series once too. its good! my only complaint is the replacement of fiver in the “bright eyes” scene

[persy-r-bozo]

Guys. new thingy is watership down. i am reading the book currently and have watched the 1978 movie three times in the past week help me.

[hrodvitnon]

So, I heard Castlevania Nocturne season 2 is in the works. Big excite! That being said!

I'm overall fine with Nocturne as is if only because I know that Castlevania is no stranger to negative fan feedback whether it's legitimate grievances or petty complaints (and Nocturne is flawed, I won't argue that) – just look at the series history. Simon's Quest being a different sequel like Adventure of Link, 64 being called the worst Castlevania game for years (go watch Ragnarrox's video on it), Dawn of Sorrow and Portrait of Ruin having an anime art style despite Rondo being just as anime if not more so, Symphony being too easy, Ecclesia being too hard, the very existence of Judgment and its take on the characters, Shadowvania being fine or a God of War ripoff. There will ALWAYS be Castlevania fans who dislike something, whether it's retconning Sonya Belmont or Netflixvania simply existing.

I've also played very few games in the entire series (GBA trilogy, SotN, Order of Ecclesia, Lords of Shadow: Mirror of Fate, bit of Dracula X) so the changes in Nocturne don't bother me that much if at all, and my general sense of being fine with Nocturne set in the French Revolution boils down to "Rondo was set during that period and France is one of the stages in Bloodlines". It also helps that I don't have as much energy for vitriol in my old by tumblr standards age, and I know adaptations will change things for better or worse... and Nocturne could have been worse. Imagine if Uwe Boll directed Nocturne.

So far Season 1 presents a fast and loose adaptation of Rondo of Blood with elements from Bloodlines and a dash of Aria of Sorrow (the eclipse) and a smidge of Harmony of Dissonance, just as the previous series adapted Dracula's Curse with bits from Curse of Darkness (Hector and Isaac) and Symphony of the Night (character designs and Lisa's death). Nocturne needs to adapt Rondo in order to properly introduce Richter and Maria and set things up for Symphony, obviously. Assuming it goes that far in future seasons, which it might.

But depending on how things go, once Nocturne is finished with Rondo and if it moves on to Symphony, there's a key element of SotN's story that falls apart when you remember that Dracula and Lisa were resurrected at the end of Castlevania Season 4; SotN happens because Richter is possessed and brings back both the Castle and Dracula, but you can't resurrect someone who's still alive, assuming Dracula hasn't died in the interim between Season 4 and Nocturne, and a whole village was being built around the still standing Castle last time we saw it. So what happens then?

An important thing to note is that Lament of Innocence, chronologically the first game in the timeline, happened in Netflixvania; Trevor mentions Leon Belmont, the game's protagonist. Lament is also where we see Dracula's origins not as a Wallachian prince turned vampire, but as Leon's friend Mathias Cronqvist – a fellow crusader who after the death of his wife Elizabetha, became Dracula by taking the soul of the vampire Walter Bernhard into a vampiric treasure called the Crimson Stone, which is basically if a Philosopher's Stone gave you vampirism because that's a kind of immortality. (There's also the Ebony Stone which is a vampire treasure like the Crimson Stone, the colors are important because there's some alchemy in Lament.)

In SotN Alucard describes the Castle as "a creature of chaos. It may take many incarnations." Apparently in the game Dracula's Curse, Dracula made a pact with the Evil God – who may or may not be Satan, somebody at Konami please clarify – to gain the power of Chaos (and also a monster horde), which would neatly explain why Netflix Drac needed a year to prep his assault after Lisa was burned at the stake. In Aria of Sorrow (in which Dracula dies for good in 1999 and is reincarnated as Soma Cruz), the final boss is literally Chaos, and its second form takes the appearance of (among other things) a black stone that flashes red – Castlevania is a creature of Chaos and the center of it is the Crimson Stone, the origin of Dracula's power.

In Dawn of Sorrow, the cult under Celia Fortner created a "perfect replica" of the Castle and wants to make a whole new Dracula; it isn't outright stated iirc, been a while since I played it, but I'm guessing the implication is that Celia created another Crimson Stone to be a new Chaos for the Castle. Plus, with two candidates being groomed for the Dark Lord position (and Soma himself being Dracula reborn and getting involved), someone would have to be sacrificed like Walter was so someone can become Dracula 2.0.

However, I don't recall seeing a Crimson Stone in Netflixvania, which is interesting considering the focus on alchemy once Saint Germain gets involved. Considering how spotty Trevor's knowledge of the Belmont family's history is, he probably didn't know how Dracula became Dracula. Maybe Leon took that knowledge to the grave, or maybe Sypha uncovered the identity of the man who became Dracula years later while she and Trevor raised their child Simon. If Nocturne will one day adapt Symphony, it needs to address the lack of a Dracula to resurrect. Maybe it can take a leaf out of Dawn of Sorrow's book and have a cult just try to make a new Dracula to replace the old one, and the party meets up with the Vlad Tepes Formerly Known as Dracula in order for him to explain how he became what he is and what the cult is doing, not to mention the whole possessed Richter part... or, perhaps the cult mind controls Richter into going through the motions so he can be forced to sacrifice someone, perhaps one of vampiric blood like Alucard, to take on the Dark Lord's mantle. It certainly wouldn't be the first time a Belmont became a Dracula!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Looking for a Place to Happen

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity.

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: We’re starting Sam’s installment but this weekend I’ll probably only be catching up on my headcanons and drabbles because I’ve been a lazy bitch and I’m sorry to those who have been waiting.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 1: I've got a job, I explore

💀💀💀

The sleepy town of Birch was awake. 

In those last weeks, the arrival of outsiders had roused the attention of many once passive residents of the timeless territory. Those brick buildings unchanged by the tick of the clock inlaid into the old tower above the library that chimed every hour on the hour. They still stood with only chips in the mortar but the air tasted different. The frost was more bitter and the sky more grim. An omen of something no one could predict.

It was the perfect setting for a screenplay. The isolated town with its unsavoury secrets and the visitors who threatened to bring them to the surface. It was inspiring to you, to imagine what was hidden behind the stern wrinkled faces of the town elders and under the jackets of those men who wore the cut of the local club. The bikers ruled the town covertly but everyone knew that Bucky Barnes’ palm was lined with the map of Birch.

As a bystander, an unnoticed observer, just another ant in the hill, you watched from the side and amused yourself with the drama of others. It was like a soap opera or another HBO hype machine. Those things you aspired to when you could be free of this ho-hum town.

The snows added to the natural gloom of the place. The deep heaps smothered the noise and harkened back to those days of colonial settlement. Forgotten, desolate, fearful. 

You ventured down in your heavy boots that stretched to your knees and pushed your chin down into your scarf. As a child, you ran and jumped in those piles, now you were out of breath just trying to walk past them.

You stopped in the bakery that doubled as the only café, a place where the owner, Babs, tried to to intimidate the last caffeinated trends. She was always a few seasons behind but you didn’t mind so much. 

You ordered the salted caramel mocha and waited patiently as the quiet woman fought with the steaming machines. She was older than you but you’d work with her for one summer during high school, only five years ago. She had the eyes of a child still, but there was something worn in her. As if she’d been exposed to far too much in her three or so decades in that place. She was a harbinger of what you didn’t want to become.

You thanked her for your drink and set out once more into the billowing winds. Birch winters were never kind but this one was crueler than most. Your teeth chattered as you blew the steam away from the lid and hugged it with your mittened hands.

You stopped short as you heard the familiar ding of the diner door across the street. You recognised the mechanic who kept to herself and once growled at you in the grocery store. She stormed across the street, followed closely and quickly by a black-haired man you’d only seen once before. He was one of those outsiders who came to deal with the club men.

You sped up as you sensed chaos brewing and pulled out your phone as you balanced your paper cup in your other hand. You flicked your camera on just as you got to the front of the shop and the man grabbed the mechanic. You let out an ‘oop’ as she turned on him and you aimed the lens at the couple as they fell into the snow, the man’s shoes giving little traction to his steps. 

You moved closer, stunned by the scene, and kept your cell phone rolling as you found a better angle around the snowy walks. As she choked him on the ground he elbowed her and she coughed as she rolled away. She snarled as he clamoured to his feet, slipping and sliding as he marched away.

You killed the recording and watched the man cross the street again, nearly wiping out as he did and when you looked back to the mechanic, she was gone behind the clattering door. You chuckled to yourself and tucked away your cell. It was prime footage for TikTok; with a bit of editing, it would be comedy gold.

💀

You stomped up the steps of your grandmother’s house, this time through the front door as you heard her chair rocking in the front room. You usually took the stairs in the back as you paid her to live on the upper floor of the duplex. You checked in with her daily, she didn’t get out much more than the occasional trip to the grocery store when you couldn’t or you dragged her out to join you for a tea at Babs’.

“You’re late,” she grumbled as you set your cup down and unzipped your coat.

“For what?” you scoffed.

“It’s after noon and you don’t even come down to say hello? A ‘good morning, nan’,” she harrumphed.

You chuckled and hung your coat before shoving your boots over on the mat. You grabbed your mocha and leaned on the doorway as you watched her crocheting in her chair, reruns of some court show playing from the boxy television.

“I was working,” you said, “sent in some stuff for review. Hopefully not much work to be done.”

“I don’t know how you make money on that interweb,” she bemoaned, “I don’t trust it.”

“Maybe you’d trust it more if you used the Netflix subscription I got you,” you crossed your arms, “then you wouldn’t have to watch trash daytime TV.”

She shrugged and muttered under her breath. She could be crotchety but you liked her sense of humour. Your aunts and uncles never came around because they just took it as spite. You were the only one who knew how to handle the jaded old lady.

“Maybe you coulda looked out the window,” you snickered, “quite a show going on in town.”

“Hmm, what’s that?” she stilled her needles and reached for her tea stained cup.

“Just a fight. You wouldn’t believe it, that lady mechanic beat the shit--”

“Language,” she huffed.

“Anyway, she had this guy in a chokehold. It was awesome.”

“What guy?” she squinted at you over her glasses.

“I dunno. Some out of towner. Remember I told you about that burly dude hanging around the library?”

“There’s more?” she sucked on her teeth, “those bikers have never been good news and now they’re bringing in more.”

“Yeah, well, what’re you gonna do?” you sniffed as you took out your phone and rewatched the scuffle with the volume down. You shook your head and opened up your TikTok. 

“I don’t understand why you’re always on your dang phone,” your grandmother pestered.

“I’m not always on my phone,” you smiled at her smugly, “there are those time when I’m listening to you prattle on or you know, making you tea, oh, and cooking you dinner. What was it I did last week? Oh that’s right, I got Pippin out of the crawlspace.”

“I’m too old to be chasin’ that cat all around,” she huffed, “where is he anyway?”

“He’s your cat, I don’t know? Last time I saw him, I sent him back out the window for shredding my charger.”

“He knows you need to give it a rest,” she laughed to herself, “got your nose to that screen too much.”

“And what do you do, old lady? Crocheting doilies to put where exactly?”

She gave you that dry smile, the one that said watch it but carried a hint of humour still. You hit post and put your phone away as you waved off her irritation.

“Well, you know what, I sit all day at my computer, doing who knows what and you know what it got me?” you taunted, “a large mocha!” you sipped as you sat on the sofa and grabbed the remote, “and it’s paying my rent and putting bullet points on my resume.”

“Mhmm,” she scowled, “just remember, real life ain’t online. Those videos you’re always laughing at like hyena, that’s not reality. You forget it and it’ll come back and bit you. ‘Specially with those bikers.”

“Oh, nan, you know too well, don’t you? Didn’t you have a fling with one back in your hippie phase?”

“Two, actually,” she raised her brows, “I was young and stupid. Not like you, but still.”

“I love you too,” you chirped and sipped from your cup, flicking the station to Jerry Springer, “that’s more like it.”

💀

Your usual TikToks were sarcastic and dull complaints about your small town life. The response was less than pleasing but it gave you an outlet to vent. You liked to goof around and document the very specific type of weirdos that resided in Birch. But the video of the fight in the snow blew up your phone and made it difficult to ignore the buzzing as you went back up to your room to eke out the last of your captions for the ad agency.

When at last you could call your day hard-earned, you logged off and sent in your hours to the agency. Social media promotion was easy enough but the working gigs for a thousand different companies was tedious. You hoped you could build your portfolio enough to manage a single corporate page as you continued to chip away at your creative outlets.

You picked up your phone as you waited for Netflix to load on your tiny smart tv and flopped onto your bed, not two feet from your desk. You hit the icon in the upper panel of your phone and scrolled through the notifications, pausing to turn on another episode of the cable sitcom from ten years before. You snorted as you read each comment but the number under the video made your eyes round. The thing was bound to go viral.

As usual, you went down to help with supper. Pippin, the orange tabby, returned to cry at his dish and you fed him too. Your nan peered through her glasses at a crossword as she tasted the tangy pasta sauce. 

“More basil,” she snipped.

“Well, I asked if you wanted to help,” you muttered, “I think it’s good.”

“Hmmp, I need milk,” she jutted her chin out, “for my after-dinner tea.”

“You couldn’t say something like three hours ago?” you blinked.

“I could have but I didn’t,” she snickered. You rolled your eyes and she took another forkful of penne and filled in another line on her puzzle, “ah, no hurry, girlie, you know I’m patient.”

“Patient? You?” you chuckled as you took your plate and shoved it in the microwave to keep it warm. The ancient thing had a dial and the door stuck, “I’ll just go get it over with.”

“Don’t forget your mitts,” she called after you as you tramped into the front room, “it’s cold.”

You pulled on your knitted cap and matching mitts. You zipped up your parka and shoved your feet into the deep boots. You grabbed your wallet and buried it in the spacious pocket. You bounced out the front door and down the steps as the sky sent down another coat of powder for the night.

You went up White Forge Street and through the short path behind the diner that led to the main road. You glanced over at The Asp, the beacon of the dull town, and turned towards the grocer. Like anywhere in Birch, the store was outdated and stuffy. It felt like stepping into another time with the paper bags and chunky tills.

You went down the center aisle and stopped at the fridge to search through the frosted glass. Your nan only drank whole milk and the last time you carelessly grabbed skim, she whined that even Pippin wouldn’t drink it. She was particular but that was just her nature. You couldn’t say you were any less fussy in some instances.

You grabbed a jug and the door slapped closed against the worn rubber seal. You headed up the candy aisle and brushed your woolly thumb over your chin as you considered gummy bears or Reeses’ Pieces.

“Hard choice?” The deep voice jolted you.

You snatched the box of chocolate and looked over at the man in leather, his chin tucked down behind the collar as snow dusted his shoulders.

“Sure,” you said as you brushed past him.

The cut of the leather told you he was better not entertained. While you thought the men amusing, you weren’t stupid enough to engage with them. You rarely listened to your grandmother but she was wise in her own way. 

You knew a girl in highschool, she was fucking around with one of the club men in her junior year, she ended up with a baby and no support. You didn’t think he was into you that way but he could hardly have innocent intentions.

“How’s the old lady?” Clayton asked as he rung in your order at the end of the belt, you moved along with the groceries and pulled out your wallet.

“The usual, you know? She’s tryna quit again. Don’t know how long it’ll last.”

“Oh yeah? I’ll keep a carton aside for her,” he kidded as you felt your phone vibing in your back pocket.

“Don’t encourage her,” you swiped your card and punched in your pin, “although I don’t know what’s worse; the smoke or her sucking on those mints all the time.”

“Oh, it’s not the bitchin’?” he laughed.

“That, too,” you scooped up the paper bag and put your wallet away, “have a good one.”

As you came to the end of the first counter, you were nearly cut off by the club member as he swept around from till two. His own purchase of a car magazine and jerky was tucked under his arm.

“Ah, sorry,” he smiled, a sparkling smile, almost charming.

“No worries,” you continued on and he followed close behind.

“Those mitts look real warm. ‘Specially in this weather,” he said as you pushed open the door.

“Uh huh,” you kept on as your boots crunched out into the snow.

“You know where I can get a pair. Leather isn’t exactly thermal, you know?”

“These? My nan made ‘em. I’m sure Clayton got some hung up back there,” you looked across the street as you stepped up onto the ledge of snow between the sidewalk and the road.

“Am I bothering you?” he asked.

You looked at him dumbly and almost laughed in his face. You glanced back across the street then down towards The Asp.

“Sorta,” you answered.

“Make you a deal. Leave ya alone for your name.”

You eyed him. He was older than you like many of the Commandos. At least a decade, likely more than that. You chewed on your hesitation and cradled the bag more firmly against your side. His eyes strayed as he tried to see through the thick layer of your coat.

“Nah, I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers,” you said and hopped off onto the road.

You heard him behind you as he struggled to follow and as you came up to the other side, he came parallel with you and kept stride with you easily.

“I know you’re young but you’re not a kid,” he intoned, “what’s the harm in a name?”

“It’s a small town,” you stopped short of the end of White Forge, “I think I know enough about you to avoid you.”

“Oh ho, is that it? Well, I’m Sam, I’m not a stranger now, am I?”

“Not interested, Sam. Sure there’s women your own age over at the bar,” you nodded behind him.

“You wanna come see? Maybe have a drink?” he gave a crooked grin.

“You don’t give up, do you?” you shook your head, put off by his forwardness.

“Well?”

“Not tonight, Sam,” you turned around and headed down White Forge.

“Then what night?” he asked but you didn’t answer and he didn’t follow.

You turned down onto your street and refused to look back in case. It would be best not to mention the run-in to your nan, she was paranoid enough as it was. Besides, you’d forget about it by the end of next week.

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

The Many Faces of the Strong Female Character

The much-requested, positive counterpart to my classic “Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing” and it’s much-later sequel.  

Here, I will discuss some of my favorite fictional ladies and what makes them work so well;  given my rapturous love of women, there will probably be a sequel!  In the meantime, I talk more about portraying female characters here.

Happy writing, everybody!  <3

1.)  The Warrior

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When most people hear “strong female character,” they picture the most popular definition of the term:  a stony-faced, emotionally shallow, conventionally attractive broad who punches and kicks stuff.  She may occasionally shout things like, “I DON’T NEED NO MAN,” while perhaps punching a small baby. 

I decided to start with my wife Diana, because she is the perfect antithesis of this trope.  She isn’t stony, she’s courageous.  She’s unabashed about showing her doubts, hopes, affections, and optimism.  Her love interest never steals her spotlight, but she feels no need to shun romance to appear “strong.”  She’s beautiful, but not sexualized or objectified.

And while most Strong Female Characters™ are ironically reduced to damsels in distress at some point in their own narratives, Diana consistently takes the lead, totally autonomous over her own story.

You can kick ass AND love babies, people.  Joss Whedon, please take notes.

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Other examples:  Okoye from Black Panther, Furiosa from Mad Max: Fury Road, Rey from Star Wars, and Ser Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones.

2.)  The Comedian

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If you haven’t watched Chewing Gum on Netflix, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it right now.  Its relatively simple premise – a twenty-four-year-old from a fundamentalist Christian household struggles to lose her virginity – is a segway into a hilarious, genuine exploration of human sexuality, relationships, and how we forge our identities.

Brilliantly portrayed by the series’ creator, Michaela Coel, Tracy is essentially that one friend who knows exactly what you’ve been thinking and isn’t afraid to say so.  She is never relegated to a single trope or stereotype.  She’s stumbling, clumsily but enthusiastically, through the life experiences that shape us.  Most importantly, she is allowed to be sexually curious, awkward, aggressive, insecure, and – I can’t stress this enough – hilarious.  The dialogue is infinitely quotable, and endlessly relatable. 

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Watching shows like Chewing Gum makes me realize how few female characters – and even fe wer Black female characters – are portrayed as truly human.  Typically, they’re allowed to be sexy, but not sexual.  They’re allowed to be awkward, but only if it’s cute.  They can be insecure, but only if that insecurity can easily be solved by the affirmations of a male love interest.  And they’re rarely allowed to be the main source of a series’ comedy.  

So remember:  let your female characters be human.  Let them be awkward, funny, sexual philosophers.  It’s easier than you think.  

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Other examples:  Abbi and Ilan from Broad City, Leslie from Parks and Rec, Tina from Bob’s Burgers.

3.)  The Drama Queen

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Watching Riverdale is like hurtling along on a structurally unstable rollercoaster.  It’s utterly insane, a lot of fun, and once you’re on, you can’t stop.

But amidst the explosions of batshit crazy plot points, killer cults, and the existential perplexity of finding yourself attracted to emo Jughead, there are some real gems.  One of these is Cheryl Blossom, and pretty much every plot line surrounding her.

Cheryl is introduced as a fairly one-dimensional, catty mean girl, though the Regina George-esque charisma with which she’s portrayed makes her instantly likable.  Initially, we expect her to be a character we’ll love to hate.

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And yet, within the first few episodes, I was impressed by how layered and complex her motivations were.  Much of contempt towards others was misdirected rage from an upbringing of extreme emotional abuse, and grief over her dead brother -- all portrayed without a Snape-style condonation of said behavior.  By the end of season one, my thoughts were generally, “Oh, crap, I don’t think I can claim to be watching this ‘ironically’ anymore,” and “MORE CHERYL.”

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Season two answered my wish, and then some.  Cheryl was saved from an (impressively conscientiously portrayed) attempt at sexual assault by a pack of her female friends, and her attacker got the shit beat out of him in one of the most cathartic moments of modern television.

To the exaltation of my queer heart, she also came out as a lesbian, in a deeply moving story arc that I never would have expected from this show.  Without spoiling too much, she and her new love interest kissing in front of anti-gay propaganda footage was legitimately one of the most powerful moments I have ever witnessed.

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Before the season was over, she viciously threatened her abusive, homophobic mother while covered in blood, shot a serial killer with a bow and arrow, and joined a gang.  If that’s not gay culture, I don’t know what is.

Oh, how I wish this show was just about her.

Other examples:  Alexis from Schitt’s Creek.

4.)  The Lovable Bastard

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Ah, The Good Place.  I have never experienced such a breath of comedic fresh air.  A new philosophical principle each episode, examined and applied in hilarious and thought-provoking ways.  A complete absence of harmful stereotypes.  Incredibly lovable, three-dimensional, and ever-evolving characters. 

I was considering using my queen Tahani for this list, who externally larger-than-life and internally vulnerable after emotional abuse by her parents.  Also, she’s hilarious.  Everyone and everything in The Good Place is hilarious.  And I also thought about talking about Janet, who is the best character in anything ever, but of course:

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Instead, I’ll be talking about bisexual icon Eleanor, who is something very few female characters get to be:  the lovable bastard.

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Eleanor, when we first meet her, is not traditionally good in any sense of the word.  She turned down a high-paying job because she was expected to be nice to people.  She sold placebos to the elderly, and was great at it.  She was drunken, slovenly, hedonistic, and selfish.  And she’s instantly incredibly likable.

Why and how Eleanor is so enjoyable, even at her very worst, merits an essay all its own.  But in a nutshell:

We empathize with her.  We are introduced to “The Good Place” completely through her eyes.  We are in her shoes.  

The stakes are high.  When we discover that her entry into the good place was a mistake, we want her to be okay.

We come to understand her, and how her terrible childhood shaped her destructive behavior.  

She wants to be a better person, and with time, effort, and character development, we watch her become one. 

Not only is this an amazing lesson in how to endear audiences to your character, it is also infinitely refreshing.  The most famous lovable bastards are all men --  Han Solo, Dr. House, Captain Jack Sparrow, the Man With No Name, et cetera -- but women are rarely afforded the same moral complexity.  If a woman in fiction has done bad things, she’s not usually a lovable bastard.  She’s usually a bitch. 

Eleanor isn’t just a great character.  She conveys an important lesson:  women are people.  People with the same capacity for mistakes, growth, redemption, and love as anyone else.

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Other examples: Chloe from Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23

5.)  The Cinderella

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Yep.  I said it.  Cinderella is a strong female character.

My girl not only survived in an abusive household, she persistently stayed positive.  She worked each day to make the best of an impossible situation, from which she had no means of escape.  That takes an insane amount of courage and tenacity. 

But Caff, I hear you scream, she needed help to escape!!  Well, my imaginary counterargument, so the fuck what?  MOST people need help to escape their abusive situations, and there’s no shame in that.  Accepting help from someone you trust is the best thing you can do in a situation such as that, and implying otherwise is horribly damaging to victims of abuse.  

But she married the prince, you more feebly protest.  Yes!  She did!  She found love and happiness and a great life in a socially influential position!  And that’s an amazing message!

So in the flurry of female warriors, let’s not forget Cinderella, who tells people that their terrible circumstances won’t last forever, to stay hopeful and kind, and that accepting help from a trusted friend can lead to a happy life.  

Cinderella is a bad bitch, and she deserves her happily ever after.

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Other examples:  For some reason, I’m thinking of Sansa from Game of Thrones.  When people try to discredit her as a strong character, they often make similar complaints.  But both, quite fittingly, end up as queens.

[majingojira]

Brief Review of Every Dinosaur/Prehistoric Documentary/Educational Short I’ve ever seen (1923-1996).

And thanks to a certain project, I’ve seen a LOT! 

Evolution (1923) - This is the oldest of the bunch, a silent film.  Mostly it uses modern animals to represent ancient forms, with a few statues and brief animated bits to fill things out. The only real highlight?  Seeing where some of the “film real” segment from Gigantis the Fire Monster comes from! 

Monsters from the Past (1923) - A short documentary with original stop motion (this was pre-The Lost World, so that’s to be expected).  Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus, and Brontosaurus are the key creatures. Included as an extra on the second DVD release of The Lost World. 

Prehistoric Animals (1938) - Reuses footage from The Lost World (1925) for its prehistoric segments. This will not be the last time it happens. 

Prehistoric Times: The World Before Man (1952) - This thing is so quintessentially 1950s, it’s highly riff-able.  It uses a mix of paintings, sculptures and some live animals to represent prehistoric life.  

A World Is Born (1955) - Ya know what Fantasia needed?  Overbearing Narration! That’s it.  That’s what this documentary is.  I saw this thing rebroadcast in the 90s on the Disney Channel, believe it or not. 

The Animal World (1956) - Ray Harryhausen.  Willis O’Brian. Their stop motion segment is the ONLY notable part of this documentary.  This is also the only part that has seen some release in modern times, as a bonus feature on the DVD of The Black Scorpion.  

Prehistoric Animals of the Tar Pits (1956) - Black and white, but also quintessentially 50s and riff-able.  Aside from the bones, it shows some wooden models to represent the animals. 

Journey into Time (1960) - Fantasia this is not, but it TRIES to be.  Lord it tries.  Or, rather, there’s a Fantasia-adjacent thing elsewhere which does the same thing.  Has some unique choices for animals to represent, including showing Permian forms like Scutusaurus and Inostrancevia. 

Dem Dry Bones: Archaeology, Paleontology, Identification, and Preservation (1966) - This was a lucky find, it was on Youtube for half a second.  And not worth digging out, really.  Stuffy, dry, and mildly condescending.  It was still interesting looking at the dinosaur hall of the Smithsonian back in the 1950s. 

Dinosaurs - The Terrible Lizard (1970) - The stop motion here is pretty neat, if slow and plodding, it’s refreshing after all this crap. The puppets for many of these would later be re-used for The Land of the Lost.  Including Grumpy, Alice, and Spot. 

NOVA: The Hot-Blooded Dinosaurs (1977) - Robert Bakker’s first appearance in a documentary.  HE HAS SUCH LONG HAIR!  Not bad, a little dry, with National Geographic titles.  It reminds me of 1990s documentaries, just so show how long it’s taken for various ideas to filter down.  Currently, it’s available on Archive.org. 

Dinosaurs: A First Film (1978) - The art style for this half-animated 70s abomination makes identifying various prehistoric animals almost impossible.  Almost painful to sit through. Stops with the Dinosaurs. 

Dinosaurs: The Age of the Terrible Lizards (1978) - Similar to the above, but available from Rifftrax, so much more watchable.  Also, it’s actually animated!

Dinosaur (1980) - Wil Vinton Claymation with Dinosaurs.  A few edits of this exist, the latter works a bit better, but the original is interesting to track down. Most of the edits are audio only, so you aren’t missing anything.  The dinosaur sin this are top notch for color and design.  They even have Corythosaurus and Tyrannosaurus not dragging their tails! 

Cosmos (1980) - the animated segment covering Evolution is still wonderful if only for the narration from Carl Sagan. 

The Age of Mammals (1981) - A follow up of sorts to Dinosaurs: The Age of Reptiles.  Decent stop motion if a little slow.  Decent variety for the time. 

64,000,000 Years Ago (1981) - A solid stop motion short film.  Still worth checking out for stop motion fans.  Available on Youtube legally! 

Dinosaurs: Fun, Facts, and Fantasy (1981) - Nostalgic for some, but aimed at a rather young audience.  Some interesting stop motion bits in here too... if awkward in that way British stop motion can be outside Aardman Studios. 

Reading Rainbow “Digging up Dinosaurs” (1983) - Definitely nostalgic for me.  Besides, it’s Reading Rainbow!  And opens with a clip from One Million Years B.C.!  What’s not to love?

Prehistoric Beast (1984) - One of the best stop motion shorts on this list.  Included because it INSPIRED a documentary from it.  Phil Tippett firing on all cylinders.  Well worth watching.  And he uploaded it on Youtube himself! 

Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs (1985), More Dinosaurs (1985), Son of Dinosaur (1988),  Prehistoric World (1993) - Gary Owens and Eric Boardman have a series of documentaries on dinosaurs and prehistoric life.  The presenters are what really make these work. Colorful, fun, and yes, silly, these still hold a nostalgic gleam for people like me.  The last one has Dougal Dixon talk about his After Man speculations.  Fun times. 

Dinosaur! (1985) - Hosted by Christopher Reeve, this is one of the best documentaries of its time.  Reeves loved dinosaurs and was happy to work on this project with Phil Tippet behind the animation.  Covers a lot in its hour long format, and well worth watching.  Do you know how good this special was?  When Reeve died in 2004, the Discovery Channel (or similar station) re-aired this thing as a tribute.  It holds up that well! 

Tell Me Why: Pre-Historic Animals, Reptiles and Amphibians (1986) - This is something I had when I was a little kid.  Dry, straight forward, a “Video Babysitter” at it’s best. It consists of a narrator while looking at pictures of the Invicta Dinosaur Toys that were also on the poster. 

Dinosaurs! A Fun-Filled Trip Back in Time (1987) - Wil Vinton’s Dinosaurs! tied with a short setup/framing device with the kid from the Wonder Years involving a low-animation music video (this was the MTV age) and a guide through art from various dinosaur books from the 1950s through the 1980s.  Rather meh, but Wil Vinton is why we are here.  This was the only way to get Wil Vinton’s short back in the day, and is the version of the short shown in Museums like The Academy of Natural Sciences.  

Digging Dinosaurs (PBS-WHYY) (1988) - Something I managed to record of TV back in the day, though not much of it, about the uncovering and preparation of Avaceratops. Bone Dry. 

Maia: A Dinosaur Grows Up (1988) - A VHS version of the picture book, with narration and the whole spiel.  Actually not to bad for what it is, but it is what it is.  The art for that book is rather wonderful. 

Lost Worlds, Vanished Lives (1988) - David.  Attenburrough. Need I say more?  Not one of his best, but still wonderful. Hard to track down.  

Dinosaurs (1989) - From the Smithsonian Institute, one of the video followups sold in various museums (I have one from the Royal Tyrell, but haven’t been able to track it down).  Not great, but I’ve seen worse. 

Infinite Voyage: The Great Dinosaur Hunt (1989) - A rather dry documentary, but one I find extremely relaxing and calming.  Very nostalgic for me.  But still dry. 

Vestie Video Sitter: Dinosaurs (1989) - This is for babies. It hurt to watch. 

In November, 1990, Jurassic Park (novel) was released, and thus began the great shift. 

In Search of the Dragon: The Great Dinosaur Hunt of the Century (1991) - a.k.a. The Dinosaur Project, The Great Dinosaur Hunt, The Hunt for China’s Dinosaurs.  Edited into a 1 hour NOVA special from a nearly two hour documentary, all about the joint Canadian/Chinese Gobi Desert Expedition in the 1980s that gave us Mamenchisaurus among many other species.  With another stop in the Arctic for good measure.  Some good stop motion and pencil animation for Troodon round this one out. 

A&E’s Dinosuar! (1991) - There’s so many things named “Dinosaur” that I have to specify.  Hosted by Walter Cronkite, this is rather dry, but still entertaining documentary series has some nightmare-fuel puppet-work.  The ‘sad’ music gets caught in my head sometimes when I think about it.  It is 4 episodes long.  “The Tale of a Tooth”, “The Tale of a Bone”, “The Tale of an Egg”, and “The Tale of a Feather”

T. Rex: Exposed (1991) - a Nova Documentary on T. Rex.  Not too bad overall, focusing on the Wrankle Rex unearthing. Parts of it are available on Youtube, but not all of it.  

The Case of the Flying Dinosaur (1991) - the third in the “NOVA” 91 trilogy, this covers the bird-dinosaur connection as it was still contentious at the time. 

PBS’ The Dinosaurs! (1992) - A gold standard for documentaries on dinosaurs. The hand drawn animation with colored pencil style still hold up today. The narrator has a bit of an accent and pronounces “Dinosaur” oddly, but that is the only complaint I can really give. It has 4 episodes: “The Monsters Emerge”, “Flesh on the Bones”, “The Nature of the Beast”, “Death of the Dinosaurs.”

Muttaburrasaurus: Life in Gondwana (1993) - A half-hour short about dinosuars and mesozoic life in Australia. Solid stop motion animation. Australian Accents makes it fun to listen too.

NOVA: The Real Jurassic Park (1993) - Jeff Goldblum narrates this bit of scientists going on about “But what if we really did it?” Quite fun, lotta fun details the movies and even the books didn’t get into. My favorite bit had Robert Bakker talking to a game keeper at the Rockefeller Refuge in a Louisiana Cypress Swamp about what could happen if they kept a few dinosaur there (Edmontosaurus, Triceratops, and T. Rex).  Namely, he talks about housing ‘about a thousand” Edmontosaurs on the 86K acre facility, with 2 or 3 mated pairs of Rexes.  It’s fun getting numbers like that. 

Bill Nye the Science Guy “Dinosaurs” (1993) - BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!  Not a bad kids entry for documentaries. Available from Netflix. 

Paleoworld (1994-1997) - Running originally for 4 years, and being revamps once along the way, this rather dry, “Zoom in on paleoart” style of documentary was a good holdover for bigger things, and covered some pretty niche topics.  Much of the later version has been uploaded to youtube. 

Dinosaur Digs: A Fossil Finders Tour (1994), Dinosaurs: Next Exit (1994) - These films hurt me.  They hurt me so much.  I’ve seen some painful things, but these are hour long tour advertisements for road trips with annoyingly earworms.  Available on youtube, but I ain’t linking anything! 

Eyewitness: Dinosaur (1994) - Not a bad documentary, but I still hold a grudge on it for replacing Wil Vinton’s work at my local museum! Still, it is narrated by Martin Sheen. The clip selection is wide and varied, but we’re still getting The Lost World (1925) footage. 

Planet of Life (1995) - This documentary series is rather dry, but boasts some interesting coverage of topics.  Though some of it’s conclusions regarding dinosaurs are... not great.  Still, the episode “Ancient Oceans” is a favorite of mine. 

Once Upon Australia (1995) - The bests stop motion documentary on Australia’s prehistory. Has some humor to is, and Australian fauna that it does cover is solid.  Though finding out how one of the animals is spelled, ( Ngapakaldia) drove me nuts for literally decades. 

Dinosaurs: Myths and Reality (1995) - Like a little more polished episode of Paleoworld, with a lighter-voiced narration, this covers common myths about dinosaurs. Overall, a Meh.  But it has a LOT of movie clips. Which makes sense given it was funded by the Disney Channel! 

The Ultimate Guide: T. Rex (1995) - The Ultimate Guide series of docs were overall rather solid, as was the Tyrannosaurus one.  Stop Motion animation along with puppets and some minor CG help round out the normal talking heads and skeleton mounts.  Along with a solid narrator, it has a real mood to it.  

The Magic School Bus “The Busasaurus” (1995) - The original Magic School Bus was a solid series, and their episode on Dinosaurs bucks trends even the reboot didn’t cover.  The core thrust here wasn’t just dinosaur information, but the idea that Dinosaurs were not Monsters, but animals.  And they conveyed it in a unique way.  

I may do more of these mini-reviews, but there are a LOT of documentaries post The Lost World: Jurassic Park that don’t have as much easy access.  Like, I’ve seen them, but digging out links/citing places to watch them is a lot harder. 

[visualssometimesetc]

Ready Player One: A Review

(channeling my inner geek once again after a really long hiatus; will comment mainly on the book)

After almost a year, I picked up this dusty, slightly yellow paperback from my drawer of untouched reads to ease myself into the habit of perusing pages again.

Considering this to be Cline’s debut novel, and one aimed at teenagers/young adults, I must say I was skeptical. Especially due to the latter fact. Growing up, I devoured many worlds conjured and targeted at the T/YA base that when I grew older and tried getting back into them again, many storylines couldn’t sustain my interest. But this was different. 

It is America, 2045. The world at its peak of crumbling shambles, virtual reality pivots the new normal. Young and old alike can be any avatar they choose in the OASIS, a world created by the highly-worshipped game genius James Donovan Halliday. A literal “escape from reality,” OASIS provides so many possibilities one can only dream of when they log out and peel off their visors and haptic suits, devices required to access the simulation.

Reality and online simulation becomes so intertwined, many don’t leave it. Students are schooled online. Credits earned in the OASIS pays for your mortgage in real life. People dress up their avatars instead, leaving their actual selves in deep abandon. After the death of Halliday, a worldwide Easter Egg hunt commences. Starting all users out with a slew of clues to unlock the First Gate, Gunters (egg hunter = gunter) would have to get past a total of three gates and find the Egg to eventually be awarded James’ entire multibillion fortune and infinite reign over the OASIS. Only one would stand to inherit it all.

We follow Wade Watts, your average teenager who studies Halliday’s facts, interests and life to a T in a bid to clear Gates, win the prize money and get out of The Stacks (think Slumdog Millionaire, but Americanised).

Maybe it was the many references to 80s pop culture, where James grew up in and with which the clues centred around, that drew me in. Though unrelatable, its vibes was always something I dig, especially the music. The book covered almost every aspect you could think of that encapsulated the 80s: movies, music, games. I’m no gamer, but it did spur an impulse to hunt down old-school arcades I would occasionally sneak into during secondary school (or high school) days. I remember wearing a sweater/shirt over my school gear to avoid those shopkeepers from snooping about as my friends and I play and got hammered by the games. Oh, fun times. 

Each chapter was short with no more than ten pages long, something I appreciated greatly because I usually read on public transport and I absolutely hated starting a chapter and not finish it by the time I reached my destination. I would rather not start on it and instead, phub. Cline’s understanding of his target audience (short attention span people like myself) was on point. It won me over within the first few chapters. 

Ready Player One is also highly realistic, what with VR assimilating itself in our current day and age, contrasting with real issues like world hunger and excessive energy consumption, it sure is a dog-eat-dog life on paper and in real time. There’s no escaping it, really. But this also made it relatable, subtly (maybe not Cline’s intention) pushing the message of doing more than just mindless consuming to his readers. Art3mis, Wade’s love interest, is one such character, doing her best to outbid Parzival (Wade’s avatar in the OASIS) and find the Egg to end the world’s problems.

All novels typically have this in common - character development. While not very significant, I felt that it was not needed, because Cline had already established their personas well enough when he introduced them to us. Clans who worked together to crack clues and advance on quests together were aplenty but the rare few mentioned by Cline. These gunters in particular, all had distinct personalities, their own agendas for wanting the Egg, which was something I dug as well. Different people, varying characters, vying for the same prize in healthy competition. 

And what’s a good story without the antagonist? A popular clan, the Sixers, controlled by infamous tech company Innovative Online Industries (IOI), which vows to gain full access to the OASIS and ‘revolutionise’ the world tries getting its hands on recruiting Parzival after he clears the First Gate on his own. Do you think he accedes to their request? What happens after that? Read it on your own... 

After finishing the novel, I was hyped up, though just as much as I dreaded watching the film. I ignored my urge to Netflix as I was still thumbing through the book. You know how many film adaptations would let you go “Oh no no no... (shakes head),” and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same after watching this film adaptation. I would say though, The Stacks, the casting of Aech and the OASIS, were ON POINT. EXACTLY how I pictured it. But of course, it’s Steven Spielberg. The soundtrack too, 💯. All things considered however, I am a sucker for following things to a T, or almost to it. You can most definitely hear my inner monologue as I viewed the movie. About 40% of the screenplay was re-adapted. 

But as I researched deeper into the whys’ of the re-adaptation, I understood and put most of my case to rest. Apart from copyrights issues, some parts would be too draggy if re-enacted. My only two complaints would be: 1. I wished they wrote Art3mis, Daito and Shoto to be more like what was conveyed in the book. I felt that their personas did get diluted. 2. The Gates aren’t actually that easy to open. Yet, I understand that as this is a movie, there was only so much that can be done within the stipulated time frame and budget. I did appreciate however, that the storyline was logical (not gonna point fingers here) and the actors’ performances were pretty solid in the movie. 

This about sums my review on this great book! I’m not too sure if I’d be keen to take up Ready Player Two soon however, after having read the synopsis. Some stories are best told and finished in just a single novel, just like some series should just end on a good-enough note of just a few seasons. But who knows, Cline might just prove me wrong yet again. 

Book: A surprising 10/10! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Film: 7/10 (still worth your time, perhaps watch before reading the book for an unspoiled, unbiased, higher rating)

Thanks for braving this lengthy review, I hope this review encourages you to pick up this book 😊😊 

[fcbabyx]

Elite S2 - Worth It

Hola, hola, hola, ¿cómo están? 

Netflix España’s hit teenage drama, Eilte, is back with its second season and surprisingly, is worth it. In only 8 episodes, the writers managed to reveal who Marina’s killer is to the Elite squad while introducing 3 new characters that serve as catalysts for some of the main characters. - spoilers ahead, just a heads up.-

The Good

The writers found a new way to keep Marina’s storyline alive with a different point of view. The communication between the teens and how open they are talking about sex, drugs, problems, etc... is nice to see that. 

The Bad 

The temporary write off of both Nano and Christian was unnecessary. To some point, I understand why Nano would leave, but Christian’s case, that was some real  class bullshit right there. You have the one main character that knows the truth and you decide to get rid of him in the first episode? The fuck? Oh yeah, you know why? Cause, that’s how you set up the whole Samuel x Carla bullshit... 🙄

The show is still 8 episodes long. I personally believe that at this point the show could afford to at least hit the double digits. 

The Ugly 

Cayetana - Talk about a fucking unnecessary character. Her arc is so bland that  the best the writers could do was turn her into a modern age con-artist, cause mind you that’s what she is, until her purpose was finally exposed a.k.a Polo. Also, Cayetana is the one character that is used to give in house bitch, Lucrecia a redemption arc and humanize her again, she is still a bitch tho. 

Breakdown 

Samuel goes missing. Okay. Christian gets run over by Carla’s dad hit squad. Okay. Let’s stop. As mentioned above Christian gets written off by a car “accident” that paralyzes him and hey, the in laws are willing to pay for his recovery in Sweden....so  off to Sweden and just like that the one character that could have ratted out both Carla and Polo is taken care off. The only reason that shit had to happen is cause Carla had to fall for Samuel. I personally think is bullshit, that Christian didn’t asked for a moment by himself and Samuel and just spilled the beans. Por que puñetaaaa, if your bestfriend’s brother who is also your other bestfriend is in jail, you would think some he would try to do something, realistically speaking that’s what teenagers would do. However, that shit doesn’t happen. So Bye bye Christian. 

Samuel and Carla, talk about, de el odio al amor hay solo un paso, bullshit. Fans are going crazy over this ship but is an excellent example of the writers doing a good job at setting this bullshit up and getting away with it. Let me remind you that Carla not once looked at Samuel, like oh yeah I wanna fuck him in season one. She was swayed by Christian and that was the introduction to the Polo x Carla x Christian dynamic. So in season  2, it took Samuel giving her a little attention when her boytoy, Christian is not around, and she just gives in. Literally that’s all it took, like one episode. It took Christian more effort than Samuel, just  throwing that in there. However, this happened because, in order for Samuel to be found, Carla had to “break” and confess and expose Polo. That is the plan that both Samuel and Guzman come up with and it works. She “out of love” breaks and exposes Polo. 🙄To be honest with you, i was waiting for the moment that she would also deal with legal consequences for helping him out but you know, una puta con corazon de oro. Let’s be real Carla’s character has no purpose except for sex appeal and the Polo expose, that’s it, that’s the character. Cool thing that came out of it is Samuel and Guzman’s friendship. 

Nadia and Guzman, let’s be real, their  appeal is the whole Romeo and Juliet trope in a modern society. Guzman goes through a lot of emotions due to Marina, Lu, and Nadia. Eventually he breaks, it was bound to happen but he also finally,  leaves Lucrecia. Now, it is  Nadia that is getting all the backlash from the fans. Nadia in the eyes of many has been reduced from a badass proud Muslim girl to I’ll do anything to get Guzman, which is bullshit. Nadia’s transformation is 2 seasons long. One she finally breaks free on her own accords and 2, she takes control of her own actions without being forced by outside forces. Example, Lucrecia and the hijab bullshit at school. People have to realize that Nadia is the character that will defend her right to do what she wants, when she wants to, not because someone is forcing her to do so. It takes two seasons of context for her character to come alive.

She also gains a new female bestie, Rebeca. Rebeca is one of the catalysts of this season. She is one of Nadia’s biggest cheerleaders and confidants. A teenage girl usually needs a female bestie, and Rebeca is that for Nadia. Rebeca is also kinda used by Samuel, but Samuel is also used by her mom. The point is that Rebeca’s biggest purpose in the show is to be Nadia’s girl. I’m okay with that. 

Lucrecia and Valerio, the Cruel Intentions + Flowers on the Attic dynamic, just doesn’t cut it. So here is my theory and the more I think about it and analyze it, it makes sense. The writers needed someone to beat Lucrecia with her own tactics, and who better than her half brother former lover Valerio? This is the perfect example of taste your own medicine. Nadia went head to head with Lu and won and lost. Guzman, lord knows it took too damn long for him to call it off and be honest about his lack of love for her, so here comes Valerio and does what needed to be done, he breaks her but in the process he breaks himself as well. I am not a fan of the incest, but Valerio is by far the best introduction this season. He, for the wrong seasons, wanted Nadia and Guzman together; however in the process he becomes friends with Nadia, which I personally appreciated. He also, makes the selfish stupid decision in recording her and Guzman having sex and sending the video to Lu, hoping that Lu would wake up from Luland and see that Guzman, just doesn’t love you anymore and it works. The backlash is that she spreads the video, to which he tells Nadia that he is the one who took it, and there goes their friendship. Mind you, all of this is after, he tells Nadia the whole incest thing. Eventually Lucrecia snaps in a fake gala by truly yours, Cayetana, exposes Cayetana, Guzman’s relationship, and has her emotional bullshit breakdown after she fucks her brother, then she fucks him again. So Valerio done with her bullshit, in the family dinner text’s daddy to look underneath the table y puta madre, quedo cabron!!!! Daddy gets to see how close his 2 kids really are. Now my only complaint is that at the end of season 2 Valerio is nowhere to be found while Rebe and Cayetana are still there, which makes sense. I personally would have liked to see the del amor al odio es solo un paso, cause let’s be real, Lucrecia will always be the greedy bitch of my way or my way and the only one that can beat her at it is her own fucking brother. I needed that. I need that. 

Ander and Omar,  the growth, their communication, the trust, the love, the love, fucking amazing. Omar, gets kicked out for finally standing up to his father, so he goes to Ander’s. He gains freedom and a non-toxic home that he, himself, said he is not going back to. He gets a job, he gets to dress up, and just be himself, fucking shit, HE DESERVES IT, PUÑETA! Ander on the other hand, has to deal with the hey my bestfriend killed my other bestfriend’s sister, cause Polo actually tells him. Ander’s emotional and mental state, did get the best of him to some point, his relationship with Omar gets affected, his relationship to Guzman eventually goes to shit, and Polo, well you know. However, Omar and Ander do figure things out, cause somehow, they are a mature couple that do loves each other. 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Cayetana and Polo, let’s be real, I don’t like the bitch. She gets introduced as another high class snob and immediately becomes friends with Lu. In the process she falls for Polo. Cayetana is ashamed of her poor life background and literally lies and fakes her way through life. It gets to the point that to pay off a debt of a dress she stole, she makes up this fundraiser gala that Lu eventually makes it a reality for her, in order for her to get the money to pay off the debt and keep the rest for her school, family, etc... that’s a con-artist, period. This bitch has no purpose except that she becomes Polo’s new partner in crime.  She hides  the trophy, y’all. That’s it, that’s the character.  She’s so bland. She is so useless. In all honesty, she is not needed, Polo could had turned on Carla and bring her down too, but deep down he is still in love with her and  his anxiety gets the best of him, and that I understand. Cayetana is now the worst character in the series. Con artist and partner in crime with a killer. 

Also, Polo is technically a killer but not really. He killed Marina, in what it looks like as a pre-anxiety breakdown and a fit of rage trying to protect Carla. Keep in mind he didn’t wanted to kill her, he actually asked  multiple times for the fucking watch , is not premeditated murder, he was trying to get the watch back and his worry over Carla pushed him to a breaking point. On top of that Marina coming at him made him snap. In season 2 his anxiety is in an all time high, due to the secret. He and Ander do bail out  Nano, but he never confesses. In a way I  do blame the writers in not wanting to bring Carla down, by not having Polo confess and point her as the one to suggest to cover up and shit, cause she was trying to protect daddy, who needs no fucking protection. This would have been completely different season, if Polo and Christian would had teamed up against Carla. That right there would have been fucking fantastic. In reality the culprit and catalyst of this are Marina and the watch, but the main problem is Carla’s dad. If Polo and Christian would had teamed up with Samuel and Guzman, it would have been a total different season, granted that also meant that Polo had to confess his act to Guzman, but it would have been a total different season. In reality Elite needs a villain and right now Polo is the easier choice. Is clear that if season 3 comes through, it will be a them vs  Polo + Cayetana, which is fine I guess, but it steers away from the actual reason it happened, the fucking watch. I’m not saying Carla’s dad is corrupt, but Carla’s dad is corrupt. 

Tl;dr: Season 2, exposes Polo by making Carla fall in love with Samuel. Lucrecia breaks cause she can’t have everything she wants, from Guzman to her brother, so she spreads a video of Nadia and Guzman having sex, real classy. Omander is still alive. Rebeca is a true friend. Guzman and Samuel are a good combo. Cayetana is a con artist that helps Polo to walk free by retrieving the trophy from the lake and hiding it. That’s it that’s the season. 

I do believe that Elite’s downfall is not wanting  to finish the murder storyline. Ideally they would wrap up the Marina murder storyline and shift the focus onto Carla’s dad and the  watch, but that shit  is not  going to  happen let’s be real. 

Overall score : Is a solid 4/5. 

[quarterfromcanon]

1-4. For the asks

Thank you so much for sending these! <3 

Once I started to answer them, I realized there were comparatively few recent television shows appearing on the list. I seemed to keep gravitating toward older ones I remembered from years ago. I took a handful of days to mull it over in case I was forgetting something, but nothing else comes to mind. Maybe my ongoing list of Shows to Watch During Quarantine will turn up some fresh results but, for now, it looks like I’ll be taking a little trip down memory lane. :) 

This turned out to be a pretty long and rambly post, so I’ll stow it under the cut!

Top 5 TV Shows 

1. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I can’t imagine this surprises anyone who has been following this blog for the past two years or so. It brought fellow fans into my life, got me back into writing fic, and prompted countless tags of meta. It’s the show my mind drifts to on a weekly basis (if not daily) even a full year after the finale. Just when it seemed I’d reached an age where that level of intense fandom involvement and character attachment might be fading, it proved that quite the opposite was true. I’m very thankful to the series for that, and for the people whose paths have crossed mine as a result.   

2. Schitt’s Creek - This is my #1 Feel Good show and, though I’ve been dodging spoilers for the final season until it gets uploaded to Netflix, I get the impression that it will remain in that top spot. The world feels softer and more hopeful there. It’s healing for my soul. I’m going to have a dreadfully difficult time saying goodbye, but I’m glad there are six season to revisit whenever I want. 

3. Stranger Things - The theme song alone sends such a rush of excitement through me. I love the aesthetic and the atmosphere. I sometimes have mixed feelings about the romances but the FRIENDSHIPS sure do have a direct line to my heartstrings. I think the way they’ve combined media influences into their own story is really neat. You get something that’s new and engaging, but you can also go back and enjoy the sources of inspiration with fresh appreciation. 

4. Joan of Arcadia - I can’t help it. The snark, the jackets, the early 2000s songs, the performances -- the nostalgia for this show is so strong. It’s not without its problems, but it did have some really good things to offer as well. I remember an episode that was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of a trigger, and the effect it could have on a person if exposed to one of theirs. The series dealt a lot with grief and the many forms it can take (I STILL can’t hear Fiona Apple’s cover of “Across the Universe” without getting misty-eyed). I’m also surprised, looking back, at the somewhat positive way I recall them discussing homosexuality on the several occasions that it came up in the show. Not to give too much credit since I don’t think there were recurring canonically LGBTQIA+ characters but, for a kid who spent most days around closed-minded people of a certain religious leaning, it was meaningful along my individual journey. I’d like to provide the several examples that are most vivid in my memory:

A. A girl with short hair, short nails, little to no makeup, and a bulky leather jacket is generally assumed to be a lesbian by the bullies at school. The show directly confronts the fact that “gay” should not be used an insult, that identity should not be assumed without the person telling you so, AND makes sure that the character in question never pushes back by saying harmful things about lesbians despite not actually being one herself. 

B. A boy who is questioning is able to confide in his big brother and have a fairly calm conversation about it; the awkwardness mostly comes from neither of them being accustomed to openly discussing emotions, not from the possibility of a negative response regarding the subject matter. 

C. Another character is accidentally discovered to be gay (he only appears in the one episode, if my memory serves), and some of the leads have the opportunity to share that for personal gain. However, even though he is a popular jock who is a bit of a jerk in the hallways, the show makes it clear that the right choice is still to leave the telling of that information up to him and him alone. 

Like I mentioned, it can’t be said that representation was in abundance here - for instance, I don’t believe anything other than straight or gay was presented as a possibility - but any accepting acknowledgement in a faith-centric series was something for me to hold on to in my still-deeply-closeted days. As a final Very Important personal side note, this show brought Judith Montgomery into my life (pictured below on the left), and that feels like it merits a shoutout for being what I consider a rather significant marker in my awakening. 

THE OVERWHELMING CRUSH I HAD - and still have - is one for the books. 

5. Pushing Daisies - This is another show with an aesthetic I adore. The series has such a fun, whimsical energy. The crime-solving! The clothes! The cast! There's a lot to love. It’s the kind of world I wish I could visit... well, minus the evidently rampant murder rate. 

Top 5 Overrated TV Shows

1. Once Upon A Time - *deep sigh* I tried to stick with it for so long. I think I’ve seen five out of the seven seasons in their entirety. It just felt like everything got mired down by excessive (and increasingly convoluted) subplots, often for the purpose of tossing in as many fairytale and/or Disney characters as possible. Plus, quite honestly, there was too much emphasis on romantic love. For a show whose first season involved a curse being broken by [potential spoiler, I suppose] a mother kissing her son’s forehead, I ultimately found myself up to my ears in romantic ships. It reached such a stifling extent that, if you were not particularly attached to those pairings, there wasn’t a whole lot else to entice further viewing. 

2. Under the Dome - I don’t know for certain what the general public opinion of this series was, but it felt like the commercials always featured alleged rave reviews, so I figured I could include it here. I was vaguely interested in Season 1, mainly as a fan of Rachelle Lefevre’s work. Season 2 pulled me in with the introduction of a new townsperson and I threw WAY too much of my heart into that attachment, which backfired when that character was killed. I made quite the spectacle of my heartbreak, so much so that my family doesn’t let me mention this show around them anymore. :P Season 3 was, to phrase it delicately, not a great time. The series did introduce me to a few new-to-me actors, though, so that was cool. 

3. Bates Motel - Even the incentive of learning that the two characters I liked most share a lot of screen time later in the series hasn’t been enough to call me back to this one. I don’t know if it was the pacing that put me off or what, but the prospect of finishing the remaining seasons feels so daunting. There are evidently five seasons in total and I believe I’ve only seen two of them thus far. I will probably muddle through it someday just to see how it goes, but the fact that I am so disinclined to prioritize it made this feel like a fair addition to the list. 

4. Lost - My interest in this series unfortunately waned right before fervent fandom spiked. I don’t have any specific complaints that come to mind about what I saw; I just sort of drifted and then stayed away. Teachers I liked and peers I spent time with were starting to latch on to the show and I couldn’t find even the slightest inclination to give it a second try. However, did I still dutifully read all the latest installments in my friend’s Sawyer Ford and Kate Austen fanfiction when she passed me handwritten copies at lunch? Sure. I was glad it made her happy, even if I was no longer a viewer. 

5. Hemlock Grove - I say this as someone who still mourns the fates of some characters in this show, so I wouldn’t go so far as to claim that the series stopped being able to make me feel anything. I’m just of the opinion that, in some ways, it might’ve been better off stopping at one season. That’s where the book it was based on ends, and things just didn’t feel as cohesive after that. Season 3 especially was - borrowing from my above review of Under the Dome - not a great time. That being said, there are also certain elements from the book that I could’ve done without in the Season 1 adaptation but... well... here we are. 

Top 5 Underrated TV Shows

1. Picnic at Hanging Rock - Another one that won’t surprise followers of this blog. I have rhapsodized about it quite frequently since I found it a little over a month ago. It’s a period piece mystery miniseries with LGBTQIA+ representation, gorgeous costumes, and Samara Weaving. This felt specifically designed to wedge its way into my heart, and I’m quite content with the space it now occupies.

2. Dark - I’m so intrigued by the overlapping timelines with all of the morally gray characters. It’s possible to like one of these people in the timeline where they’re young but dislike them as adults, or vice versa. It also makes me think of Rant by Chuck Palahniuk a little tiny bit with the idea that time travel, specifically tampering with your own timeline, might make you physically and behaviorally unrecognizable to yourself. And the SONG CHOICES! I have gotten some solid new music selections from this series. 

3. Sense8 - I still need to watch the finale. I really do. But I knew it would make me sad so I’ve avoided it for... two years now? Pretty close, I think. The concept is fascinating and the cast is so strong. Plus the cinematography! They came up with some of the coolest ways to depict the link these characters share and what it’s like when they connect over distance. The planning and careful editing it all must’ve taken... I remain in awe. 

4. Penny Dreadful - There were definitely some story/writing choices I didn’t particularly like along the way, but I did get engrossed in the creepy goodness and the performances -- Eva Green’s Vanessa Ives most of all. It left me wishing for more period piece “monster mash” stories, because having all those classic characters in one place was a blast. It also helped me understand why Helen McCrory was once slated to play Bellatrix Lestrange because she can be terrifying. Oh and Sarah Greene in her Wild West outfits? Perdita Weeks with short red hair in fencing garb, and later in all leather with boots and a long jacket? I WAS NOT PREPARED AND I HAVE STILL NOT RECOVERED. I NEVER WILL.

5. Wonderfalls - There’s some cringe-inducing handling of certain representation in the series, but I have such a weak spot for quippy outcasts who become reluctant chosen ones (Joan Girardi in Joan of Arcadia, Wynonna Earp, Jaye Tyler in this series, et cetera). I also really love the sibling dynamics here. They bicker, tease one another, help each other out of trouble, and have rare but genuine heart-to-hearts. Caroline, Lee, and Katie all did such a great job blending their characters’ adult personalities with certain childhood attributes that rise to the surface in the presence of family.  

Top 5 Movies

1. Addams Family Values - I’ve rewatched this movie at least once annually since I found it in Media Play at age 13. Usually, I’ll play it around Halloween or, at the latest, Thanksgiving. It’s mouth-along-with-every-line level ingrained in my memory. I find myself leaning forward in my seat before favorite parts because I’m still that excited to relive them. Why this movie, and why this devotion to such a degree? It’s hard to explain, even to myself. I can tell you, however, that I hold up every other portrayal of the Addams characters to the versions found in this. Everybody in the cast just feels that perfect for their part. 

2. Clue - I was already pretty fond of this movie to begin with, but then my sister got older and claimed it as a favorite of her own, so now she just supplies me with further excuses to watch it repeatedly. It’s also been a bonding piece of media with a couple of close friends and such through the years. It’s incredible to think not everyone in it was the first choice for their roles; what everybody brings to the table is so top-notch that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also LOVE knowing that it originally went to theaters with different endings depending on which showing you attended. I gather people weren’t terribly thrilled with the stunt back then, but I kinda think some moviegoers would be into that approach these days? Then again, one hit that tried something different tends to start a fad, so maybe I’d end up regretting the suggestion after a while. :P

3. The Craft - This. Movie. Yes, Act III is a major bummer even though I know it’s coming, and I’ll always wish it ended differently. Even so. This. Movie. I tend to headcanon mostly for shows and sometimes books, but The Craft is a beloved exception. I love so much about it: the magic, the music, the clothes, the settings, the dynamics within the friend group, the performances. I had no idea when I first got the DVD at 17 that it would become such a part of my life, but I’m so glad it found its way to me. 

4. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion - The soundtrack is a glorious ’80s and ’90s treat for my ears. The colorful costumes are perfectly suited to the main characters’ version of the world. There are so many great lines and it feels like everyone is having a lot of fun in their roles. I LOVE HEATHER MOONEY SO MUCH. She’s my awful, scathingly sarcastic, little grungy grump and she fills my heart with joy. 

5. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - I was pretty sure at least one of the three had to appear on here. I think, if I were to tally them all up, The Return of the King features most of my favorite moments, so it wins the spot. “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”, ‘Edge of Night,’ Éowyn in battle, The Army of the Dead, ‘Into the West’... I end up crying during the end credits every time. So, yeah, ultimately, I would choose the third part of the trilogy if I could only watch one. 

Phew, that’s it! All the questions answered, all the shows and movies listed! Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read it all, and thanks again to @monaiargancoconutsoy for sending in the prompts! <3

[shmosnet2]

The Critics Must Be Crazy: ‘The Witcher’ Is A Fantastic New Netflix Original Series

The Critics Must Be Crazy: ‘The Witcher’ Is A Fantastic New Netflix Original Series

Erik Kain Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but critics really should watch the shows they write about ... [+] before handing out a score.Credit: Netflix Don’t believe the Rotten Tomatoes score, folks. That’s the lesson, once again, that we’re learning today. We are destined to relearn it over and over again. I’m speaking of the “Fresh” but not very fresh score The Witcher is currently rocking, and that’s not including the very worst review about the show I’ve read. Once that one is in there—if it’s added—the score will go down though, to be fair, my very positive review of the show will balance that out. There are a number of negative reviews which we’ll touch upon in a moment, but I want to highlight one in particular that is truly beyond the pale. The review is from Entertainment Weekly, which describes the show as “nakedly terrible” in the headline. It is, shall we say, a “nakedly terrible” and deeply unprofessional review. There are many truly awful bits, but I will pull from the two most galling. The first is from critic Kristen Baldwin, who is in a review/conversation with fellow critic Darren Franich. She writes: “In the interest of professional obligation, Darren, I did sit through the second episode, which was notable for a few reasons. (Spoiler: None of those reasons include, “Because it was good.”) Henry Cavill gets far less screen time in the second hour — and he has to share his few scenes with a very, very annoying traveling bard (I would name the actor who plays him, but I’m fairly certain the writers didn’t even bother to name the character?).”

YenneferCredit: Netflix I bolded the most important line. Baldwin only watched two of the five provided screeners before assigning The Witcher an “F” and calling it terrible. But the rest of the passage is worth remarking on as well. She is annoyed by the annoying bard, but didn’t take the four seconds it requires to go to IMDB to look up his name, which is Jaskier. An actor named Joey Batey plays the part. But hey, why bother researching character names when you’ve already decided the show is bad before even bothering to watch it? Why even write a review? The second passage is from Franich, who writes: “Because life’s too short for Netflix drama running times, I skipped ahead to the fifth episode” and then there’s spoilers which I won’t quote, because life’s too short to have good TV ruined by spoilers from critics who could care less. So let’s soak this all in for a moment, shall we? Two critics at one of the biggest entertainment outlets in the world were so flippant about The Witcher that they didn’t even bother watching the five screeners provided by Netflix before giving it a failing grade while mocking its fans, cast and crew. That’s . . . bad, right? I’m not alone in thinking that that’s bad? “Alas, my destiny is to never watch this borefest ever again,” concludes Franich. Considering he didn’t really watch it to begin with, I’m not sure “alas” really applies.

The Witcher's creators actually did name the bard. He's even a character in the books!Credit: Netflix It’s one thing to have a differing opinion about a work of art. It’s to be expected. I respect differing opinions, but only if you’ve done the work required to form one in the first place. Alas, EW did not. What frustrates me is that this kind of thing gives all critics—and journalists—a bad name—and rightfully so. How can we trust critics if they don’t even watch the show or play the game or read the book they’re scorching from up on high, in that most lurid of fantasy lands, the high pedestal of criticism? No other review is this egregious. Many just seem to want to constantly compare it to Game of Thrones. Variety’s review does just this, and its author admits to being a watcher but not a reader of the books (and presumably not a player of the games). That’s fine, actually. This show is meant for newcomers and old fans, alike. But it does feel like too much emphasis is being placed on Thrones comparisons rather than accepting that not all fantasy is the same. Meanwhile, The Playlist’s Andrew Bundy calls The Witcher “a subset of fantasy that is both derivative and dated” which is, quite frankly, utter nonsense. The Witcher is an enormously original fantasy and unlike really anything else out there. In order to make such a claim, a critic must simply believe that all fantasy that isn’t Game Of Thrones or Lord of the Rings is derivative. It’s a deeply silly thing to say, and it stems from a belief that this is just a cash grab because “why try and write something original for fans that were disappointed with who ended up on some throne made of iron when you can pick up a rusty blade that’s about to break and put it in the hands of Superman, right?” I’m most surprised by GameSpot’s very spoiler-filled review, which anchors its largest complaint onto one of the show’s greatest strengths: its narrative structure. I’m baffled by this complaint but I won’t say more for fear of spoilers. Suffice to say, it’s like complaining that the first season of Westworld is bad because it’s too confusing.

Princess CiriCredit: Netflix It’s true that this isn’t a show for everyone. I wrote in my own review that many people would have to work a bit harder to keep up because there are so many difficult names of people and places and the story is purposefully a little hard to follow. But having to work a little harder to digest your entertainment isn’t a bad thing. We need more of that kind of TV show, not less, the same way we need exercise for our bodies. A show like this makes you think. It exercises your mind. Still, everyone is entitled to an opinion and at least these other critics presumably watched the show they’re writing about. If they didn’t like it, that’s their own business and I don’t hope to sway anyone. We all have our own takes. I think it’s a shame to write it off as a Thrones knock-off and I think many of the negative reviews I’ve read seem to misunderstand The Witcher, but that’s how it goes. As a fan of fantasy novels, games, shows and movies I’m quite accustomed to that sort of thing. It’s the nature of the beast. P.S. This reminds me of the critical backlash to Altered Carbon, about which I wrote a very similar article. Follow me on Twitter. Check out my website.

I write about video games, TV and movies. Success In 60 Seconds: Adi Tatarko On How To Pursue Your Career Passions Please help us continue to provide you with free, quality journalism by turning off your ad blocker on our site. For instructions on how to disable your ad blocker, click here. I’ve Turned Off My Ad Blocker Or Sign In To Continue Using An Ad Blocker I agree to receive occasional updates and announcements about Forbes products and services. You may opt out at anytime. Forbes takes privacy seriously and is committed to transparency. We will never share your email address with third parties without your permission. By signing in, you are indicating that you accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Statement.

https://ift.tt/2EJkyI0 . Foreign Articles December 21, 2019 at 06:59PM

[trashartandmovies]

Berlinale Film Festival 2021, Industry Event, Day 1

We all knew the 71st Berlinale would be different, but who’d have guessed we’d be given a twofer? At this point, the juries for the Competition, Encounters, Shorts, and Generations sections have all handed out their awards. These juries got to watch the films in their respective categories on the big screen. Meanwhile, the press were given the opportunity to screen these movies at home, as well as the films in the Berlinale Special, Panorama, Forum and Forum Expanded sections, as well as the six films making up the Perspektive Deutsches Kino category and episodes from the six television shows included in Berlinale Series. (The always excellent Retrospective section is only screening during the summer.) Altogether, around 150 at-home screenings were made available to the press. We had five days to watch them. I was able to watch 22 of them. This is Part One.

———

I’m sure everyone covering the festival is hoping that the Summer Special, in mid-June, will go smoothly and we’ll be able to catch at least a fraction of the movies we weren’t able to see. (For geo-blocking streaming reasons, a few films in the lineup weren’t available at all in my geo-region. Including two in the Competition: the FABIAN adaptation and Daniel Daniel Brühl’s directorial debut NEXT DOOR.) Usually, the press is given a week ahead of the festival to check out the Panorama, Forum and Generations titles. One assumes it’s so that audiences may get some recommendations on these lower-profile movies in the inevitable situation when all the high-profile films are sold out. Will this happen in the summer? Unless I missed a press release, the details around the Summer Special are still a bit vague. Rightfully so, since we’re still living in week-by-week uncertainty as far as lockdown measures go.

All we can do now is cross our fingers and hope for a chance to get a look at some of the these titles, because when presented with the challenge of covering a 150-movie lineup over just five days, you have to make some obvious decisions. I suspect many people did what I did — try to watch all the Competition titles and get in a few Encounters, Specials, some shorts and hold out hope for one or two stray Panoramas or Forums. To make matters more heartbreaking, the press screenings went like this: every morning at 7:00 AM, you’d get an impossibly long list of films to watch until 7:00 AM next morning. You’d get a few Competition titles, a few Encounters and Specials, and a deluge of films from the other categories. For many films, all you could do is look at the title, nod, and say to yourself, hopefully we’ll meet again soon, because there’s no way I can fit a sixth movie in today without losing my mind.

(Now there was a wrinkle added to this plan. Over the weekend of March 6 - 7, the press could screen the award winners that got announced on Friday. But it was difficult to try and take this into consideration in any strategic way.)

———

Like most film festivals, Berlinale usually kicks things off with a star-studded opening night movie that’s usually too mainstream for the critics. With no red carpet to be concerned with this year, that wasn’t the case. Instead, on Day One, the closest to a big movie star name was Iain Glen (Game of Thrones). Glen isn’t the lead in Tim Fehlbaum’s TIDES, shown in the Berlinale Special program, but he does play a key role as an astronaut who’s landed back on Earth, generations after human had mostly left the increasingly inhabitable planet. Humans have been living in a space colony called Kepler, but everyone ended up sterile, so missions are being sent back to Earth in the hopes that they can once again live there and get their reproductive groove back.

That’s the underlying story of TIDES, and it’s just one element that will likely feel very familiar to anyone who’s well-versed in post-apocalyptic cinema. The color palette is stark, with muted colors. The landscape is barren, this one with lots of water, rather than the desert locales of Mad Max. In fact, the notorious WATERWORLD came to mind more than once while watching TIDES. There’s even a doll in the film that looks just like Dennis Hopper’s character in that film, eye patch and everything. That little detail may be one of the most interesting things about the film.

The main character of TIDES is another astronaut, played with a committed intensity by Nora Arnezeder. She crash lands on Earth, is held captive by central casting post-apocalyptic scavengers, and eventually tries to track down a McGuffin that will let her contact Kepler and report back that there are people reproducing on Earth. Meanwhile, she also suspects that something might remain of the previous mission that was comprised of her father and Iain Glen.

The main attraction here is Fehlbaum’s use of stunning landscapes and practical locations, like a beached industrial ocean liner that serves as inspiration for one of the primary sets. The art design and costumes are all exceptional, while the acting and photography are all decent enough. But it never does much with the conspiracy it tries to entertain us with. Its attempts at being thrilling look good, but can’t help but feel like pretty standard stuff at this point. It’s worth noting that one of the film’s producers is Roland Emmerich, a man who knows a thing or two about making generic high concept action pictures. Some things, like the art design and the pleasingly diverse and international cast, set TIDES apart. But the story is far less inspired.

Faring better were the Day One Competition titles. I started with MEMORY BOX, a lively picture wherein a daughter gets to better understand her mother when a box of the mom’s old teenage diaries and correspondence ends up on their doorstep. (This mother-daughter connection is essentially the same theme that Céline Sciamma’s PETITE MAMAN covers in a different, more sci-fi, fashion.) As the daughter, living in a nice house in Montreal, digs into her mother’s old journals, scrapbooks and tape recordings, the film travels back to 1980s Beirut through the eyes of her teenage mom. It makes these trips back in time through some pretty cool moments of collage-like animation — putting scrapbook pages into motion and diving into photographs and contact sheets that come alive. Plus, the soundtrack is killer, full of lively 80s post punk like Killing Joke, The Stranglers and Blondie.

There’s romance, the trauma of war, a strong refugee story, and a poignant tale of cross-generational understanding. The kicker is that it’s very autobiographical, with the film mirroring co-director Joana Hadjithomas’s own story of corresponding with her friend in Paris while Beirut was falling down around her. These journals are backed up by old photographs taken in Beirut from the other co-director, Kahil Joreige. Like last year’s fascinating BLOODY NOSE, EMPTY POCKETS, and this year’s A COP MOVIE, Berlinale movies are continuing to find success in blurring the line between documentary and narrative fiction. The movie has a little trouble maintaining momentum all the way through, but I loved the experimentation on display here, and the unique ways it tells its story. It helps that MEMORY BOX really sticks the landing at the end.

Next up was ICH BIN DEIN MENSCH, or I’M YOUR MAN — another film, like many in recent years, interested in the ethics behind artificial intelligence and robots with emotions. Think of it as a romantic comedy version of BLADE RUNNER, or an updated version of the forgotten-by-time Ann Magnuson and John Malkovich vehicle MAKING MR. RIGHT. This one, based on a recent short story by Emma Braslavsky, is directed by Maria Schrader, who recently helmed the popular Netflix series Unorthodox (she’s also a veteran film and TV actress, from Tatort and Deutschland 86 to AIMEE & JAGUAR). Schrader continues to prove that she has a good eye for framing and storytelling. The movie doesn’t always escape the problem that many German movies continue to struggle with, which is that they often feel like a good TV movie rather than a work of cinema, but it manages better than most.

The general idea is that Maren Eggert plays Alma, a researcher who is assigned the task of spending a couple weeks with a new personal companion robot named Tom, played by the dreamy-eyed Dan Stevens. Alma is, of course, a completely rational-minded person who is happy to just get through the two weeks with as little interaction with Tom as possible. In her mind, it’s an impossibility that a piece of technology could fulfill a human being’s needs. Of course, as each day goes by, Tom continues to surprise her and wear down her defenses.

It’s a pretty well-worn story by now. The issues that get raised over the course of the movie are some that Star Trek: The Next Generation was dealing with on a regular basis (Tom is similar to Data, though Stevens doesn’t need any special contact lenses), but there are some interesting wrinkles here. Few movies have looked at this subject from the female perspective. And if there’s one that that this year’s Berlinale truly excelled at, it’s offering a wide variety of movies by female directors and/or with female leads. We’ve covered three movies that fit that criteria already, and many more will come. What’s more, Maren Eggert gives us a character who’s at an age where she’s wrestling with the question of whether or not her child-bearing days are behind her. When’s the last time Hollywood dealt with that subject? So, while Alma starts off as a very emotionally distant, academic type, and the best thing about the movie is uncovering her past and getting to understand why she has put up so many walls. I’m not sure it does much with the subject of AI or robot companions, but it does provide a charming odd-couple story and I don’t have any complaints with Eggert winning the festival’s best actress award.

The nightcap on Day One was INTEURODEOKSYEON, or INTRODUCTION, the newest film by the prolific Korean auteur Hong Sangsoo. At last year’s Berlinale, Sangsoo was also in the Competition with the excellent THE GIRL WHO RAN, and he doesn’t disappoint with INTRODUCTION. Ironically enough, if you’re unfamiliar with Hong Sangsoo and don’t know where to start — understandable given the nearly 30 films he’s directed in the past 25 years — INTRODUCTION ain’t a bad way to start. It’s not his best work, but it’s pretty damn good, and a very accessible entry-point into the man’s style and thematic interests. And it barely cracks the 60-minute mark, so you’re not committing to much.

This one ping-pongs between a young man, Youngho, and a young woman, Juwan, both trying to figure out what to do with their lives. Juwan wants to study fashion in Berlin, Youngho wants to become an actor. Both run into problems with these pursuits — some of which are out of their control. In Youngho’s case, it leads to a hilariously drunken dinner confrontation with Ki Joo-bong, who may or may not be playing a version of himself, since he’s only credited as “Old Actor.” The esteemed Korean actor Joo-bong has appeared in Park Chan-wook films, SAVE THE GREEN PLANET, as well as few of Sangsoo’s other films and some 70 other movies. In INTRODUCTION, his character is revered by every other person he meets. And his advice to Youngho is an eruptive highlight in a movie that’s otherwise pretty subtle.

Subtlety is often Sangsoo’s thing, but the emotions he leaves you with tend to be pretty strong. This is his magic. He writes very realistic, dialog-driven scenes that, on their own, are nuanced and deceptively simple. But these quiet scenes build up to an ending that makes everything come together in a profound way. Even if you’re familiar with Sangsoo’s work, INTRODUCTION may come across as slight, or a minor work in the maestro’s deep catalog, but I found it’s pleasures to be more immediate than usual. To my knowledge, no one is writing screenplays like this. The way he reveals characters, develops them, and draws connections through casual lines of dialog, sometimes nested deep within a conversation, is practically his trademark move, and it’s never not remarkable. It demands your attention and then rewards it at the end. His technique is patient, confident and hugely sophisticated. The only problem I see is that, given his track record of releasing one or two movies a year, his talent is in danger of being taken. Don’t be one of those people.

[avelera]

Some next day thoughts about Thor 3: Ragnarok:

(cut for spoilers)

- At first I was a little jarred by the ending’s abruptness. But then I thought about it a bit more. Yes, as a movie ending, I still think it’s a bit too abrupt, I would have liked 5-10 more minutes to cover some of the dangling plotlines I’ll discuss further down. But then I realized that with all the Marvel movies out there, they’re likely going to be binge watched. So this format makes sense when you realize that this movie is only going to end there for about 1 year in its lifecycle. For the rest of its existence, viewers are just going to immediately go to or cue up either Black Panther or Infinity War, so it’s actually more like a very long TV or Netflix episode than a standalone movie in the traditional sense.

Nevertheless, some things I would like to have seen more resolution are:

- Bruce - They made a pretty big deal of the fact that if he ever switched back to the Hulk again, Bruce Banner may never come back. Now, most likely it’s not a dark enough movie series for that to be true. But still, the fact it was never brought up again after he transformed nags at me, I would have liked to see some concern from Thor & his crew over whether Banner is ok. Though I suppose some of that could be explained by Valkyrie knowing Hulk better, Thor “preferring” Hulk, and the fact that Hulk has now had enough time out in the world to actually be quite stable. It almost implies that Hulk was an infant, or an overly-caged animal so his unmanageability was purely because he wasn’t getting enough time to grow up or exercise. That being said, you’d think Loki would be a little more freaked out. And dammit, I’m worried for Bruce.

- Loki - Has shown a pathological inability to play well with others, pretty much since he learned he was adopted and from the stories of Thor 3 even before that. He is the ultimate little shit. The fact that he was shown peacefully going along with the good guys for even 5 minutes without stabbing Thor again or just causing mischief or fucking off from there gave me a weird feeling of cognitive dissonance. Like, this status quo has already lasted 5 minutes without someone actively trying to kill them, no way Loki is this patient. Then again, this was somewhat resolved by the post-credit scene of the other big ship appearing, since Loki will sometimes go along with things if a team up is required for survival, at least until he figures out how to join the other side.

Some other thoughts:

- Apparently Asgard has fewer people in it than your average shopping mall? Also none of them have the same superpowers as their royal or valkyrie elites? Apparently it is an anime land where if you don’t have a cool character design you don’t have powers, sorry guys, you’re all cannon fodder with as little ability to defend yourself as the average human and maybe less considering you have advanced magic and science sometimes but most of the time you don’t even have guns.

- Hela looks hella like Loki. I’m beginning to wonder if Thor is the adopted one here. Also wondering if, in a more serious moment, what impact Hela having once been Odin’s favorite child would have on Loki given their similarities? Some reflection by him on that point would be interesting.

- Also, wtf, are they gods, are they random aliens with delusions of grandeur, how do they embody concepts...? Thor’s lighting powers were SICK AS HELL AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF THAT FIGHT AND HOLY SHIT HE LOOKS AMAZING WITH THE ONE EYE GODDAMN but I’m just really confused from a lore/cosmology angle of what the fuck Asgardians are in the larger cosmos and as relates to Earth.

Some other good/GREAT things about the movie:

- Seeing that level of diversity was such a fucking relief like I didn’t need to brace myself or roll my eyes whenever anyone who wasn’t the Designated POC was shown as always white and usually male, it was actually wonderfully diverse and awesome wow thank you Taika. 

- (A little mad though that we didn’t get to see the Valkyrie bisexual scene, Disney is still really bad with dealing with LGBTQA+ stuff and this is another reason I fear the consolidation of all IP under The Mouse)

- Anyway, just in general, the directing, holy shit Taika Waititi is a master. 

- Like, the movie was 95% laughs and it’s really hard to transition an audience that was just laughing its asses off to a serious moment but every single serious moment hit like a punch in the gut. Like immediately. Holy shit. Odin’s death, Valkyrie’s flashback, the tiny micro-expressions of Loki and Thor dancing around what they really mean to each other these days, Banner’s identity crisis... my only complaint about any of those is that they didn’t last a little longer, but they were so efficiently done that I can’t really be mad about that. Their brevity matched the pacing of the film, and it’s only my fangirl heart that would have loved some long lingering over all the horrible Feels everyone is going through. Ah well, that’s what fanfic is for.

- That being said, it did feel like there was a couple moments and themes that could have used a little more attention, though the complaint here is minor. There is some serious fridge horror in Banner losing 2 years of his life. What about the people he killed under Hulk’s influence? What about the feeling he’s going to lose himself forever if he ever changes again, and him doing it anyway to help his friends? That was one theme that felt a little under served to me given the seriousness of the implications. 

- Hela was amazing omg. Like, it is hard to introduce a new villain that’s just magically better than everyone at everything and is also a stone cold badass woman. Somehow, somehow they managed it most likely through the immortal talent of Cate Blanchett. She was genuinely terrifying and genuinely felt like a member of their family, unlike some missing family member villains who just feel tacked on. 

- Though I will say I was a little surprised by the reluctant villainy of Karl Urban’s character. I expected him to be a more willing ally of Hela, his story was interesting in how he was basically just an opportunistic but otherwise loyal Asgardian trying to survive and I could have used a few more minutes of focus on him just to sort of pull his story together as more than just someone for Hela to talk to while shit is going down.

- Btw, SPEAKING OF HELA I’ve been saying for AGES that we should be reexamining what Thor being “worthy” is all about because it’s not necessarily the modern concept of good vs. evil. Given that Odin slaughtered his way across 9 realms then turned on the child who helped gain it for him, being “worthy” could literally just mean “able to kill the largest number of people efficiently” according to Odin.

- Uh, do any of our heroes have their powers anymore if they drew them from Asgard which is now a pile of rubble?

- But OMG WE’RE GETTING ASGARD ON EARTH YEEEESSSSSSS. Ok so one of my number one writerly influences, J. Michael Straczynski who also wrote Babylon 5 and Sense8, wrote a Thor comic about Asgard being reestablished on Earth and IT IS HILARIOUS AND WONDERFUL GUYS I am SO EXCITED to see Asgard planted in the middle of the goddamn MIDWEST this is going to be GREAT. Also Dr. Strange must be losing his shit right now HE ASKED THEM TO PLEASE LEAVE NOT BRING THEIR WHOLE PLANET HERE

- Oh, and on a total badwrong side note, I still ship the fuck out of Thor and Loki and I am sorry. I hate incest in general, blech, as a plot device but Loki definitely does not see Thor as a brother also they’re kinda not even human so for some reason that sneaks by my radar. But I’d dearly love to see some Thorki where they’re as snarky and antagonistic and sort of tragically doomed to always be messing with one another as was in Thor 3, and not like... wide-eyed tragic uke Loki or some such (not that that isn’t valid for writers to explore, I just DESPERATELY want some obnoxious-conniving-little-shit Loki and exasperated but actually able to keep the upper hand and occasionally tragically upset and annoyed that Loki just can’t stop being such a conniving little shit for five minutes and sit at the dinner table like a normal person goddamnit why can’t i quit you Thor... just saying). 

Honestly, that movie was just so much fucking fun, I need to see it again.

[pixelgrotto]

Animated bloody tears 

Through some unforeseen miracle of black magic, we now have a Castlevania animated series on Netflix. It debuted three days ago, and despite getting less promotion than I would’ve liked, Castlevania is finally once again getting some much-deserved mainstream attention in this day and age. 

I’m the biggest Castlevania nerd I know. I designed a whole series of Hero Forge minis based off of the Belmonts and their buddies and I even credit the franchise with helping me get over my childhood fear of vampires. So even though I barely watch new TV shows, as a former kid who used to visit Mr. P’s Castlevania Realm and The Castlevania Dungeon on a daily basis, I had to check this out. And happily enough, I thought it was great. Most of all, I’m astounded that this finally got made at all, because the original script, by comic book dude Warren Ellis (he's written some good Iron Man stuff) is a relic that was originally supposed to be for a live-action film and got stuck in development hell ten years ago. Just look at this Bleeding Cool article revealing one of Ellis’ production blogs from 2007, complete with ancient concept art. 

Usually scripts are trapped in dev hell for a reason, and I can recall reading a leaked version of the “goat fucking” dialogue referenced in that Bleeding Cool piece back when I was in high school. The whole thing made me think, “Jeez, it’s probably for the best that Castlevania never becomes a movie.” But wouldn’t ya know, over a decade later, they decided to subvert my predictions by resisting the urge to churn out another crappy video game film adaptation. Instead, they made a cartoon, and will wonders never cease - the goat fucking bit is still there, right at the end of episode one, and it’s actually funny.

So yeah, Castlevania the series ended up exceeding my expectations, largely due to a few smart choices. First of all, the animation, while occasionally stiff (which is par the course for most digital animation these days), reminds me of 1980s anime, and considering that the 1985 Vampire Hunter D movie was an inspiration for the entire Castlevania series, I feel like we’ve gone full circle. Secondly, the show retells the plot of Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse, which had a stunning four playable characters and a ton of storytelling potential that couldn’t be fully communicated due to the limitations of the NES. This meant that Warren Ellis had some room for creativity in retelling the tale of Trevor Belmont, and he does a fine job of making the dude into a sarcastic, weary undead-killing exile. But Ellis and the show’s other creators were also smart enough to know that Symphony of the Night is everyone’s favorite Castlevania, and so we’ve got some lore cherry-picked from there as well. This includes backstory on Lisa, one of the few human women that Dracula’s loved, as well as characterization for fan-favorite dhampir son Alucard, who looks just like his Symphony design, minus the cape.  Speaking of Alucard’s design, the series really does a nice job of pulling the fanservice card with these little touches that make it seem like the folks in charge were actual Castlevania fans, which often isn’t the case with video game adaptations. It begins with Dracula literally crying bloody tears in the first episode (God, I loved that), goes on to Trevor’s usage of his in-game arsenal of whip, dagger, axe and holy water, and ends with a fight between two characters that I won’t spoil but is rad, because it’s exactly what anyone who played Castlevania III or Symphony of the Night might’ve imagined. 

Of course, not everything’s perfect, and the biggest issue I have is that the whole “season” is only four episodes. That ain’t a season, that’s a teaser, and when thinking back to the fact that Warren Ellis’ original script was for a feature-length film, its obvious that this was made as one big movie and then chopped into four bite-sized bits, probably because the bastards at Netflix (who cancelled season 2 of The Get Down, argh) didn’t wanna commit. But hey, they’ve since ordered eight new episodes, and hopefully in the next batch we’ll see more varied monster designs. (Sadly, if that Bleeding Cool article is any indication, it seems like we won’t see Grant DaNasty, the other playable character of Castlevania III. Seems like he’s going to remain absent in lieu of more focus on Sypha Belnades and Alucard, which is understandable but still kinda sucks.) 

Finally, the show’s music is forgettable as hell, which is a shame when Castlevania is a series known for its superb tunes. Castlevania III in particular had an astounding playlist, especially in the Japanese version, which utilized a special sound chip to create extra channels and manifest some truly badass chiptune tracks. I’m not expecting a major musical change in season two, but hey...I’d love to hear at least some hint of “Vampire Killer” in the soundtrack. These are minor complaints in the grand scheme of things, though. For now, I’m just happy that we have a solid adaptation of Castlevania that takes the source material seriously, and I’m looking forward to watching more. You should check it out, even if you haven’t played any of the games. And you should also steer clear of the people on message boards who are whining about how the show is bad because there’s too much cussing and violence, as well as the bozos who are out in full force claiming that the Japanese dub is better. I suppose I can understand the violence, since not everyone wants to see Trevor whipping a guy’s eye out. But the language thing is some pure weaboo bullshit, because even though the Japanese dub is fine, this was produced in English first and features a great performance by Richard Armitage as Trevor Belmont.  Argh, I seriously cannot stand people on anime message boards. I’m so glad I’m past the middle school stage of my life when all I did was argue with them. Now I’m more mature, and argue with people on video game forums instead. Yeaaaah. 

Images from the show taken from the Netflix site and screencapped by yours truly! Castlevania III screenshots from Gamefaqs and Legends of Localization.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… American Gods (S01E03) Head Full of Snow Airdate: May 14, 2017 @stzamericangods Ratings: 0.716 Million :: 0.28 18-49 Demo Share Score: 9.25/10

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

It’s amusing to see all the ‘WTF?!’ comments and viewers delightfully claiming they have ‘no idea what’s going on’, but vacantly profess to love it anyway. It’s that type of attitude that gives episodes that aren’t quite up to par (see American God’s opener 'The Bone Orchard’) a pass with the masses, even when the following two episodes blow it away in substance and scrupulously crafted content… Each scene in both 'The Secret of Spoons’ & the currently reviewed 'Head Full of Snow’ not only yields the visual feast the first episode provided, it tacks on a rich backbone for the series to craft its wages of war on.

If the Gods we have come to meet in E1 & E2 are crafty, violent, or manipulative…even all consuming… then the Gods in E3 are grounded, compassionate, and gentle… A juxtaposition shown in spades in both The Jinn (Mousa Kraish) and Anubis, the Egyptian God of Death & Mummification (Chris Obi). Anubis’ introduction is calming and somber, even when he rips out Mrs. Fadil’s heart to weigh its virtues to decide her fate. Before that act he tastes her cooking to give her a final validation and also allows her to fix her clothing on her corpse, granting her dignity in her post-final moments. This is an amazing lens to view the inevitable and final act of death in, one I hope to see when the final spurt of DMT transmits my consciousness through the forbidden fractals of human eradication and takes me to wherever those doors of psychedelia have promised me a peaceful home in the endless and vast experience of infinity.

The Jinn’s scenes are literally spellbinding… A down on his luck salesman shackled to his current help by his relative, Salim (Omid Abtahi) selling trinkets of little value hops into a cab that will forever change his life… Guess there are advantages to not taking Uber after all. Salim exchanges stories with The Jinn… The audience is immediately keyed in as the The Jinn is wearing dark sunglasses at night in New York in the pouring rain. He drifts off at a stop after revealing he’d been driving the cab for 36-hours straight… Giving way for Salim to lean in close as the camera keeps a steady lock erupting in anticipation on his hand as he gently toggles The Jinn awake, exposing the literal fire in his eyes.

Upon this fiery revelation, Salim reveals he has an understanding of The Jinn’s existence and struggle through a story told by a relative from his home country. As The Jinn confesses his frustrations with his current job driving a taxi, Salim once again draws forward and this time advances in and caresses the same shoulder he once toggled to wake him… A gesture that’s met with a sultry return. If there was any question as to their brewing sexual chemistry, Salim hops out of the cab and tells The Jinn that he’s in Room 318 right as a beautiful woman hops in the backseat barking out directions. The camera immediately cuts to an titled, low angle, claustrophobic shot of Salim & The Jinn riding the elevator together to the 3rd floor, slowly holding steady, rattling the romantic suspense, until they carefully grab for each other’s hands. Can you tell I loved this scene? Oh yeah… But it’s the following scene that absolutely floors me and takes my growing appreciation and attachment to 'American Gods’ to burgeoning new heights.

“I wish you could see what I see,” Salim tenderly expresses his amazement as The Jinn exits the bathroom in just a towel. His rugged features are highlighted by the perfect lighting… His swelling, seasoned hyper-masculinity, hairy chest, thick beard, and actual fiery eyes contrast to Salim’s soft, more angular but still masculine features. The towel drops and I want to say that The Jinn’s most definitely is wearing a prosthetic cock… As a purist, and a lover of the *natural* human form, of both male and female… I do wish they would have used Mousa’s real nude body, all of it… Not just because I admire him, but because it gives boys and men (and females too, most definitely females) a false idea of what real male genitalia is like. Not that what Mousa is sporting here, a flaccid wonder, doesn’t exist in the world… And I did consider that they chose the prosthetic because it was a God and they wanted to really vitalize Jinn’s masculinity and godliness, even making his presence intimidating, complimenting the fire shooting from his eyes… But for the record, if that’s what Mousa is like flaccid then Salim must be a pro. It’s really my only complaint, a small (technically huge) one at that, to an otherwise perfect scene.

A passionate, gay Muslim sex scene… Yes. In 2017. The music, the drums, the fluidity of their motion, the close-ups, the juxtaposition of Mousa’s weathered, rugged body and Omid’s vibrant, smooth skin, the flesh colored sheets, the sudden transportation into the starry, sand soaked dessert as a backdrop, Mousa’s thrusting, transference of energy and fire into Omid’s body, moving from his bottom half where he is being entered towards his solar plexus… The fire escaping his mouth and lighting up his green eyes, eventually setting them ablaze… And back into reality where Omid lays vulnerably on his soft sheets, in complete awe, fading into darkness…. PHEEEEEEWWWW! Not since 2015, when Netflix’s Sense8 rocked the world with their polysexual orgy scene to Fatboy Slim & Macy Gray’s 'Demons’ have we seen a sex scene this intensely and shockingly erotic. The metaphors within 'American Gods’ literally slam you over the head with a hammer, but it works. The Jinn’s fiery nature certainly translates into the bedroom… And I don’t care what the rest of 2017 has in store for us… I’m calling this this 'The Best Sex Scene of The Year’.

Salim awakens by himself, but The Jinn’s clothes are left on the floor… In them are the keys to a taxi and a brand new identification card. Jinn’s may not grant wishes, but they certainly have a way of altering people’s lives right when they need it the most… As clearly the man in the identification card is neither The Jinn or Omid. Something tells me that won’t stop Omid from living out his new life to the fullest extent. What does that say about Americans? You tell me… What can I say, it’s a melting pot but all the ingredients seem to separate when boiled.

Mr Wednesday (Ian McShane) has an ironically intense and passionate scene with Zorya Vechernyaya (Cloris Leachman) sharing a buzz-worthy kiss that proves that even the elderly are human and spark a bit of electricity now and again. Coincidentally, Shadow Moon (Ricky Whittle) meets the unseen third Zorya Sister, Zorya Polunochnaya (Erika Kaar), and is kissed innocently, but ambush style, as Zorya explains she has never kissed a man before… And yeah even Shadow is unable to pronounce her last name, good thing the three sisters share a first name and not a last. Unlike her other sisters, this Zorya is young & beautiful and watches the stars to make sure a beast stays trapped in the midst of space. She reaches out and grabs the moon and literally gives it to Shadow… How many time-worn lovers have promised that one? This Zorya can do it! And it brings good fortune to Shadow, who awakens to re-challenge Czernobog (Peter Stormare) in another game of checkers and wins both his life back and the strength of Czernobog & his trust hammer in the impending fight of the Gods.

Shadow and Mr Wednesday continue on their journey, strategically robbing a bank in the most inventive way possible, much to Shadow’s opposition. Though the more Shadow is introduced to this strange new world of Gods where anything is possible, roads are made of marshmallows, he himself can will it to snow, and Leprechauns named Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber) that are close to 7 feet tall can lose his lucky coin and are plagued without with bad luck (even 'A Good Samaritan’, played by the legendary Scott Thompson is killed immediately upon giving him a lift), the more that Shadow becomes comfortable and sound in his surroundings. As the episode closes out and Sweeney digs at Laura Moon’s grave to retrieve his lucky coin, he reaches her final resting place and finds that the coin Shadow had flipped onto her gravesite and sank into the ground had penetrated the coffin leaving a coin size hole near the top… Slick cut editing shows Sweeney revealing an empty grave and Shadow opening his hotel to Laura Moon, who casually remarks… 'Hi, puppy.’ Yup. You’re watching 'American Gods’.

[echobasegazette]

Stranger Things

I haven’t ever written about a TV show before, mainly because I don’t watch much non-sports TV. I really just watch movies and reruns when I turn on the TV because I can’t seem to ever remember to watch shows I like when they air. But recently I have been watching TV shows, on a strictly binge-watch basis, on Netflix or HBO. Like most people, when I can’t find something to watch, I browse the “you might like this” on the Netflix homepage, and a recent addition to that category was Stranger Things. I still don’t know why I decided to watch it; maybe it was because of the ticking timer that showed up when I first clicked on the show, “4 hours until the release of season 2,” or maybe it was some of the hype I’d heard from people I know. But once I started the series, I couldn’t stop. I plowed through all 18 episodes in seven days, and when it finished, I couldn’t help but think that the final episode was absolutely perfect.

For those who haven’t seen the show I will give you some quick points to peak your interest and then suggest that you stop reading until you’ve finished the series.

Super Quick Review

The show takes place in the mid-80s, in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana. There are four kids who are playing Dungeons and Dragons in the basement when the show starts. After the conclusion of their mission/quest they all head home. One of the kids, Will, is attacked on the way home by a creature from another dimension called the Upside Down. Meanwhile there is a secret facility in town run by the United States government, and as you would expect, they are up to all sorts of no good. This show is advertised as scary, but it’s more of a thriller and suspenseful, very similar in feel and “scare” level to Super 8 by J.J. Abrams.

Now if you haven’t seen the show, I would advise you to stop here since everything going forward is full of spoilers.

This show is really freaking good so I am not going to write a review on the show itself. What I am going to do is talk about a few things that I have been thinking about since I finished watching. Some of the following points have come from reading other articles online, and some are just my own perceptions and reflections.

Why do people care about Barb Holland and Bob Newby?

It took me seven days to finish this series, and while watching it I refrained from reading anything online about the show. The main reason that I do this is so the ideas of authors don’t infect my own.  So, when I finished the show I went online and started reading articles and reviews about the show and people seemed to really like these two characters, and I have no idea why.

As soon as Barb was captured, I knew she was dead. They had to start killing characters to create the perception of threat to the main characters, and she was the perfect fit. Online there started to become a #justiceforbarb following on social media, but why? She appears to be a good person and a good friend to main character Nancy Wheeler, but her biggest contribution was being dragged to party she didn’t want to go to and trying to cock-block her friend. Do I think her parents should have been told of her death so that they didn’t sell their house trying to pay to find their daughter? Yes, of course. But someone had to die in that first season, and she is easily the best option.

Bob Newby is different than Barb; he wasn’t a throw-away character who had to die just to create the potential of a threat. Bob is a main character who dies because he made too many mistakes. First, he convinced Will Byers to tell his dream demons to go away. Sure, that’s sound advice if you are having run of the mill nightmares, but its shitty advice if you are being stalked by an interdimensional power known as the shadow monster. Second, Bob nominates himself for a suicide mission because he is really the only one who is capable of operating the computers. But once he’s finished he leaves his gun on the table before heading to the exit. Rookie mistake Bob, when you are being chased by aliens, zombies, talking toys, or inter-dimensional Demi-Dogs, you never forget your gun.

The third and final/fatal mistake Bob makes is he doesn’t complete the catch before looking up field. This might not make sense to anyone who doesn’t watch football but sometimes a WR will be about to catch a pass and then he will turn to look up field, taking his eyes off the ball leading to a dropped pass. So, make the catch and then turn up field. Bob makes the same mistake, metaphorically. He has just escaped a maze of horrors and slammed the door in the face of a Demi-Dog, he is within 30 feet of safety and he looks up and celebrates the moment. In the next instant the demi-dog crashes through the door and eats him. Bob died because he didn’t stay focused on his objective; he was too busy trying to be “Bob Newby, Superhero”.

What was the deal with Eleven’s standalone episode in Season 2?

Eleven has been stuck in a cabin for 350+ days, and Hopper has been driving her crazy because he never shows up on time. She is pissed off at Mike because she saw him chatting up Max, and so she decides it’s time to go visit her mother. While she is there, she sees a vision of another girl, Eight/Kali, and takes off to Chicago to meet up with her. Kali is the leader of a gang which robs people and kills “bad people”, and she convinces Eleven to join for a short time.

I hated this entire episode; everything about it was completely horrible. Eleven is “good guy”, sure she was a little impulsive, but she was getting training at the hands of Chief Hopper. She was on the right path. Then she meets up with Kali and her gang of losers. I was so happy when Eleven finally decided to head back to Indiana to help her friends.

My other complaint was that this episode, “The Lost Sister”, existed outside the rest of the story timeline. Every other episode jumps around between the different characters so that time passes evenly for the cast. But not this episode it’s just an entire episode of bad decisions by a 13-year-old with superpowers. It would have been better if this storyline was split between several episodes throughout the middle of season two. But really, I still don’t think I would have enjoyed the story line.

Why did Dr. Brenner want to be called by Papa by the experiment kids?

Dr. Brenner is the main human villain in the first season, and he runs the Hawkins Energy lab building. One of his duties at this covert CIA-type laboratory is training the captured children in the use of their powers. He is also in charge of keeping the experiments at the Hawkins facility a secret for the local community. In his normal duties, he has to experiment on children and kill anyone who finds out the secret nature of the facility, so basically his job sucks. Even if he donated part of his salary to charity he would still be a “bad guy” best compared to Joesf Mengele, the Doctor at Aushwitz who experimented on children. But the creepiest thing about this guy is that the children call him “Papa”. Why? The kids are isolated from the rest of the world, he could tell them to call him anything. But instead he has created this weird father relationship with the children. He should probably be investigated by the Officers of the Special Victims Unit because something weird is going on here.

Why isn’t Nancy creeped out by Jonathan Byers?

Early in the first season Jonathan Byers is walking through the woods looking for his brother Will when he stumbles on Steve Harrington’s house. There is a party going on at Steve’s house, so Jonathan pulls out his camera and starts taking pictures of the frivolities. While taking picture he captures a photograph of Nancy taking off her clothes in Steve’s room.

After developing his photos Jonathan is walking through the school parking lot and happens upon Nancy, Steve, and his goonish friend. Steve and the goon take his photos and find the revealing photo of Nancy; they proceed to rip up the photos and smash his camera. At this point Nancy feels bad for Jonathan, which is understandable given that her “friends” have just bullied the poor kid. But she ends up becoming friends with Jonathan and later dates him. Why isn’t she creeped out by the fact that he took these photos? I know he gives her some lame excuse about capturing people as they actually are, but it’s still completely creepy. I just don’t understand why this isn’t a huge red flag and major turnoff.

Who is the MVP of the first two seasons of Stranger Things 2?

Stranger Things has now completed its first two seasons, 18 episodes of content, and there is a lot going on. But my favorite thing to think about is who is the biggest hero of the show. Who is the MVP?

There are certainly a lot of quality options. The two most obvious choices are Eleven and Chief Jim Hopper. Eleven is a 12/13-year-old with some X-men like powers. She took on the Demogorgon and kicked its ass, then she threw down with some demi-dogs and closed a massive portal to the Upside down with her mind. There were some rough patches along the way, like shoplifting and joining up with a crew of losers, but she always shows up when the bread needs to buttered.

Chief Jim Hopper is just a local police chief, but he can really kick some ass. In fact, I think he punches out every person at Hawkins lab.  He has no powers except an awesome beard and a willingness to battle interdimensional beings, even though it’s way out of his jurisdiction. Heck he even looks out for Eleven when she has no place to live.

With any MVP race there has to be some dark horse candidates and here are those four options. Joyce Byers is Will and Jonathan’s (why doesn’t he go by John?) mother. She doesn’t give up on Will even when everyone thinks he is dead and that she is crazy. But her ex does throw her off for an episode. In season two she really steps up her game as she helps Hopper solve the maze that Will has drawn. Her and Bob team up to locate the missing Chief Hopper, and finally, she teams up with Nancy and Jonathan and gives heat to the shadow monsters to save her son.  

The trio of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas would also make a solid choice. Sure, they make some mistakes, they often need to be rescued by other characters, and they fight amongst themselves. But they go toe to toe with a scary ass monster with nothing but a slingshot. The also use their knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons to explain everything that’s happening to the rest of the characters. They do have some rocky moments but they remain steadfast in their desire to help their friend.

Neither Jonathan nor Nancy has a strong case by themselves, but together they are a pretty sweet team. The buy some bear traps and other tools in an effort to distract the Demogorgon. They help Murray the reporter bust open the secret on the Hawkins facility, kicking those bastards out of town. They even manage to help out Barb’s parents avoid losing their home and all their money in a desperate search for their daughter. And with the help of Joyce, they manage to save Will from the clutches of the shadow monster.

Billy Hargrove is a complete asshole and would never have a chance at the MVP, but his mullet is freaking awesome. Every time Billy does something awesome, smoking while lifting weights, seducing Nancy’s mom, playing shirtless basketball, that’s the power of his mullet. But even his mullet couldn’t save him from getting his ass kicked by his sister.

If you’ve seen the show you know none of those people have a chance. The real MVP is Steve Harrington; he even has a sweet nickname perfect for the MVP of the show, King Steve.  Steve is the only character who really changes throughout the events of the show. He starts out as a douche who is just hooking up with Nancy to get another notch in his belt. Next, he morphs into bat wielding defeater of the Demogorgon. Steve then becomes a good boyfriend, ready to take the next step with Nancy Wheeler, even putting up with a depressing dinner of KFC with Barb’s parents. Don’t worry he’s not done. Next, he gets his heart crushed but comes back as super-babysitter, equipped again with nail embedded bat. Steve closes out the show dispensing lady advice to Dustin and even drives him to the dance. Steve and his breathtaking Farrah Fawcett hair is your undisputed MVP of the first two seasons of the Stranger Things.

 The Duffy brothers are set to make a third season and there are rumors of five seasons in total. Hopefully they start filming soon because I am really excited for the next part of the show. Plus, the kids are all set to hit puberty and we don’t 20+ year old high school students in future seasons. Lets just hope that future seasons don’t ruin the absolute perfection of that final episode of season 2.

Big O

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                                                                      JUNE                           2017

 PAGE RIB

*****The writers are working on Arrested Development season 5 which Netflix has confirmed is coming in 2018 with the full cast. Ron Howard tells us he is “Warming up my uncredited narrator vocal chords.”

*****The world was welcomed to Live with Kelly and Ryan! I admit that I don’t watch it but this surely won’t help. Why??  Why him?? His name recognition, his power, his falling ratings at E!? Seacrest showed his interview prowess by mistaking Jeffrey Tambor for Vincent Schiavelli, the now deceased actor from the subway in Ghost.  Read the new memoir Tambor was selling, Are you anybody?

*****Val Kilmer says he is healing from cancer.

*****Conan is being sued by a former writer of Leno’s. The man claims that Conan and his writers “lifted jokes from his blog.”  They deny the charges. TBS showed their belief by inking him to 4 more years. Next up an animated series called Final Space and more branching out on the way.

*****We miss U Gwen Ifill but Robert Costa is doing a great job on Washington Week!

*****Clerics are a bit uneasy about scary clown’s order to ease limitations on places of worship and their ability to talk politics from the pulpit. Some fear the two existing side by side and some are very happy to feel the freedom.

*****Nigerian school girls that were abducted 3 years ago are slowly being released. May has brought a second release after the first one in October.

*****Turkey’s President Ertogan sent his thugs out in Washington to beat peaceful protesters. There was no consequence for they have diplomatic immunity. Really? There must be limits. Welcome to Trumps America. **Turkey later gets upset about the ‘treatment’ of those bodyguards.

*****Jimmy Kimmel and his wife welcomed a baby boy named Billy. He was born with heart problems and Kimmel came out to explain to his audience before letting guest hosts take over the rest of the week.  His genuine concern for children that are not as fortunate financially was touching. Of course, those who vote against such things did not seem to agree.** Kimmel is also set to once again host the Oscars.

*****Scandal will run its last season next year.

*****Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is going on tour. Keep an eye out for the Watch out for snakes! tour around the country.

*****Met Gala: The soiree for the who’s who: Best dressed- Nicki Minaj, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Frances Bean Cobain, Lena Dunham, Mary J. Blige, Bella Hadid, Zoe Kravitz, Pryanka Chopra. Worst dressed- Solange Knowles, Helen Lasichanh, Pharrell Williams, Clare Danes

*****Scary Clown 45 tells us that Andrew Jackson could have avoided the civil war. He also told John Dickerson that he calls his program, ‘Deface the Nation’.  Stephen Colbert was so incensed by the disrespect  shown to the journalist that he had a few choice words like; disgrace the nation. He said that Trumps mouth was best used as Putin’s cock holder. He was bleeped but the FCC still looked into complaints, no action was taken.

*****Drake beat Adele’s record at the Billboard music awards. Best dressed were Rachel Platten, Machine Gun Kelly and Madison Beer. Worst dressed were Alex Pall, Andrew Taggart, Halsey and Billy Ray Cyrus.

*****Pence was invited to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement and dozens of graduates and family members silently stood and walked out.

*****Bobby Moynihan, Sasheer Zamata and Vanessa Bayer are out at SNL.

*****Netflix is bringing us Ozark with Jason Bateman (also executive producer and director), Laura Linney and Esai Morales. Look for it in July.

*****So sad to see icons on Fox news. When you see an occasional clip of someone like Joe Nameth, you wonder why??

*****Michael Moore is doing a one man show on Broadway. ‘The terms of my surrender’ will premiere on July 28. He is working on a feature right now about Trump called Fahrenheit 11/9 that will be distributed by the Weinstein’s.  In the fall he will be in TNT prime time with Live from the apocalypse. The climate is giving him a time to shine. Go Michael!!

*****Norman Lear has received the Woody Guthrie prize.

*****Michael  McDonald is working on a new LP, Wide Open.

*****Hillary Clinton has put together Onward Together! The political group asks people to get involved and organize!

*****A report claims that your nipple color is your perfect lipstick shade.

*****A cameo from Paul McCartney is slated for the new Pirates of the Caribbean. He will play a jail guard.

*****The x Mrs. Johnny Depp, Amber Heard has moved onto Tesla founder Elon Musk.

*****An x German rapper, Denis Cuspert , who became an Isis recruiter briefly married FBI operative, Daniela Greene.

*****American Housewife has been renewed for another season.

*****Jesse Jackson has been giving motivational speeches in some high schools. On May 12 he appeared at Peoria High.

*****Larry Wilmore is back with a podcast: Black on the air!

*****James Corden takes his show to the U.K. with Harry Styles and many more.

*****Brick and mortar stores are taking a big hit this year. 85% of all sales still come from these stores but they grew too fast for their own good. Mall building surpassed the population and we will have to say good bye to many of them.

*****James Comey tried to defend himself with the FBI oversight committee. He informed us that he asked for search warrants for wiener’s computer and had not yet got them when he released a memo to congress about looking back into Hillary’s e mails case which was called mid year exam. He claims he could not tell us about the Russian investigation because it was not and still is not finished.  I have to wonder that if Hillary’s e mails were so fascinating to them, are they looking into the casual way that trump conducts business ?  They are probably looking into starting the while Clinton Email thing instead. I have to shake my head at the slow progress of so many of these old senators on both sides of the aisle. It makes the whole thing repetitive and unproductive.  The biggest sound bite was Comey’s statement that it made him mildly nauseous to think he would affect the election. Oh, please!!** Things did get going a bit finally and In the middle of some rather hard driving questions, Trump suddenly appeared on my TV with the President of Palestine. The media bought right into it and it was everywhere. I had to find C-span 3 to continue the hearings and skip the photo op.

*****And then Comey  is fired on May 9 starting a whole new shit storm that distracts from Sally Yates damaging testimony. There have been multiple excuses for that. I think most dems can agree he completely mishandled the Hillary stuff but the timing is just so Trump! He does not even care how it looks, he bulldozes on. There is a giant fucking cloud over the whole thing. There is a letter from deputy attorney general , Rosenstein and Jeff Sessions recommended the firing but Trump says he was gonna fire him all along. Word is that Comey is mad, Rosenstein is livid and also the Presidents communication team. Acting FBI head McCabe assures us that the files were immediately secured. The Prez says Comey informed him that he wasn’t under investigation.  The Fox spin seemed to blame the fact that Comey  would not take the Obama wiretap allegations seriously. Trump also signed an executive order to look into his claims of voter fraud. It is like the biggest conspiracy theory nut got to be president and now we could spend millions of dollars on his crazy whims. OMG! **I feel that I may puke if I have to again see that clip of Comey and Trump shaking hands. Word is that Comey hated that day. ** And now the Justice department has appointed former FBI head Robert Mueller to lead a special counsel on the Russian probe.** Trump claims that ”No politician had it worse” at a Coast Guard commencement.** He probably should not have thrown Rosenstein under the bus because his appointment of Mueller gives him a lot of room to investigate.

*****Constitutional law prof. Laurence Tribe of Harvard writes that trump should be impeached because a President can’t ask for loyalty from the FBI director. He states other reasons like Trump can’t be trusted to stay within the law. Could Comey, the man who helped get him elected be the one to bring him down?

*****The treasury department is looking into money laundering issues with Trump.

*****Scary Clown takes his first trip out of the country as Pres. While there Toby Keith will be playing a ‘men only’ show in Saudi Arabia.

*****Mrs. Callista Gingrich is the ambassador to the Vatican.

*****Princess Mako of Japan will marry Kei Komuro and give up royal status.

*****Once the Stones do it, others always follow suit. Pink Floyd now has an exhibit of their history at the Victoria Albert museum.

*****Scary Clown has threatened to shut down all press briefings.

*****Studies from the CDC show that teens are drinking less.

*****Wow!! Was blown away by Joanne Froggatt in Dark Angel on PBS Masterpiece.

*****JS.. Saw Levon Helm’s Electric Dirt on Axl’s wall on The Middle finale.

*****Brazil’s President is also in some trouble with bribe allegations.

*****A tide brought back a beach on the west coast of Ireland that washed away 33 years ago!!

*****Jared Kushner’s sister, Nicole Meyer told Chinese investors that she could help foreign nationalists get visas through her family’s real estate business.

*****Trump took the Russians gleefully into the oval office and only let in the Russian press, No Americans allowed!! The White house claims they were misled about the Russian photographers. Russia is spreading the news that they have a better relationship with our President that we do. The Washington Post had a story that Trump released classified info to them.  Once a President says it , it is declassified.

*****David Brooks wrote a NY Times piece after the “leak” calling out Scary Clown. He calls Trump an infantalist for immaturity is becoming the dominant role of his Presidency.  He writes, ‘His falsehoods are attempts to build a world in which he can feel good for an instant and comfortably deceive himself. He is an ‘incompetent person who is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.’ Well said!

***** I personally think that some people just like to live in chaos. Those people have taken over for now. I suppose that Trump loyalists like being puppets. It seems they can’t really think for themselves because everything scary clown does seems just fine to them. As long as he is firing people and disrupting the status quo, they are good no matter the cost. No backbone.

*****The Kennedy Center will honor David Letterman with the Mark Twain prize for American humor.

*****Have we ever had a first lady whose parent was a communist?

*****Nightcap on Pop will be back on June 7.

*****Comedy Central brings comics like Jerry Seinfeld and Kevin Hart with Colossal Clusterfest.

*****The Great British Baking show will be on PBS on June 16.. Hey.. that is Tom’s birthday!!

*****The Battle of the Network Stars is coming in June.

*****People of Earth is back on TBS on July 24.

*****Marijuana business owners were in Washington this month to fight for their rights. They specifically brought attention to section 280-E of the tax code that does not allow deductions and The Respect the State Marijuana Laws act of 2017.

*****Rumors have always been out there that H H Holmes escaped execution.  His great grandchildren have petitioned for and been granted permission to exhume his body.

*****The house voted to end health care as we know it. It is opposed by the AMA, AARP, ACA and on and on. The groups are trying to ban together to hold town halls and explain just what they will get if Obamacare is taken away. But Scary Clown and all his other smug white buddies were laughing and joking about how wonderful it all is. Idaho congressman, Raul Labrador even said later that “Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care,” They all have a very strange sense of humor. To quote a song from another time, “Ain’t no time to wonder why, whew! We’re all gonna die!” It is like a nightmare. I guess their thinking is that if they get rid of all the poor people, they won’t have to look at us anymore? They do not understand the idea of paycheck to paycheck. To get money back on your taxes to help fund your own health care is impossible for many people. They feel they have to get this health care plan through so they can then do the tax plan. They need the health care money for the poor so that the top moneymakers can have their big tax cuts.** Why not just fix the problems with Obamacare like a not for profit public option to buy into?**Women are a majority in this country, how the fuck did we get here? ** I loved Bette Midler’s tweet on it the best: “GOP passed a health care bill so bad they exempted themselves from it. They may live longer, but when they die, it’s straight to hell.”

*****Richard Simmons is suing American Media Inc. and their Radar online and National Enquirer for a story about his transitioning into a woman.

*****Bob Newhart came to Chicago to headline the Salvation Army’s annual civic luncheon.

*****The IFC’s Brockmire is fun and raunchy and you can see Hank Azaria nude. He and Amanda Peete have great chemistry but the rest of the cast is awesome too. I am so loving Tyrel Jackson Williams, the tech nerd and Daisuke Tsuji , the Japanese Free mason pitcher. The Pennsylvania town of Morristown is so Monessan like.

*****A woman may face a year in prison for laughing about Jeff Sessions. Desiree Fairooz was convicted for disorderly conduct but some are calling this fake news.

*****Loretta Lynn had a stroke and has postponed her tour. She is now in rehab.

*****Oh Conan.. Please.. More of the “Gilligan” writer please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*****Days alert: More of the tech nerd Myron Radditz!! And let’s keep going with the love story of JENERIC!!** I saw the Days punk pimp on a new ad for Geico. He is going places?!** Could they make Nicole any more whiny or stupid!! C’mon!** It is time to kill off Jade.**Morgan Fairchild has joined the cast as Angelica Deveraux.

*****I always knew that Debra Winger was cool. I see that she has admiration for Better Call Saul and The Americans. Yes!!

*****Jeff Goldblum will be back for the next Jurassic Park!

*****Always Dreaming won the Kentucky Derby!

*****Gov. Greg Abott has signed a ban for sanctuary cities in Texas.

*****Norway has the wonderful slow TV on their public broadcasting. It started with a train trip. You can watch chopping wood or burning logs or sheering sheep and knitting. There was a cruise that lasted 5 and a half days. It is syndicated around the world.  YES!!

*****Hooray!! Paris did it! Macron wins!!

*****New Orleans is courting controversy with the removal of many civil war statues.

*****The U.S. has armed the Kurds in Syria. **The White House is also considering new troops in Afghanistan.

*****Trump quote: During the Clapper /Yates testimony: “Watch then start to choke like dogs. Watch what happens. They are desperate for breath.”

*****If you haven’t been reading Carl Reiner’s tweets about Donald Trump.. you must check it out. A recent example: “In his first hundred days in office, trump has succeeded in affirming to our citizens that our great nation will cheer his impeachment.”

*****The Stones are revving up for a new tour in Europe.

*****American Crime Story will tackle Katrina with Dennis Quaid playing George W. Bush.

*****Sam Rockwell will play a KKK leader alongside Taraji P. Henson as a civil rights activist in Best of Enemies.

*****After the court said that Trumps website still stated that ALL Muslims should be banned and Sean Spicer was asked about it in a briefing, it immediately disappeared.

*****Why is frat house hazing still allowed to go on?? These are grown ass people that act like 5 year olds but with booze and drugs.

*****In 2011 a nodosaur mummy was discovered in Alberta with the skin and stomach contents intact!! Paleontologist Vinther says the dinosaur, from 110 million years ago was so well preserved that it might have been walking around a couple of years ago. It is now on display at the new Alberta museum. How fucking exciting is that?

*****Jeff Sessions tell us that he would like the harshest sentences possible for drug offenses. These guys sure like their torture and punishment.

*****RIP Jean Stein, Steven Holcomb, Powers Boothe, Roger Ailes, Chris Cornell , Lisa Spoonaver, Roger Moore,  Gregg Allman and Susan Hurt.

[jhpaulsen]

Delving Deeper into Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why

The first three paragraphs are a relatively spoiler-free review, but be warned, there are many, many spoilers later on in this post. 

13 Reasons Why is Netflix’s latest must-binge series. It’s based on a book with the same name, optioned (a while ago) by executive producer Selena Gomez. She was originally slated to play the role of Hannah Baker, a high school junior who commits suicide – but not before recording 13 tapes, one for each reason why she took her own life. Hannah was eventually played by newcomer (and Australian, though you would never know it) Katherine Langford, and she was terrific. This is not hyperbole -- she absolutely crushed it.

In fact, the entire ensemble was well-cast and gave strong performances, with the usual caveat that some of the actors looked a bit too old to be in high school. I’d like to give a shout out to Dylan Minnette, who played Clay Jensen, the main protagonist, with just the right amount of awkwardness and determination necessary to pull off such a complicated role in a series that jumps around frequently in time.

A unique premise is only as good as its execution, and the series fared pretty well in this area. There are some plotting issues, but they are fairly minor, and become an afterthought since the directing, editing and writing are so strong.

**SPOILERS BELOW**

I spent last Thursday watching the final five episodes. In this age of binge-worthy television, I couldn’t imagine having to wait three months for this series to reach its conclusion if it were shown on a weekly basis. I jumped on the freight train in first episode and by the end of the first tape I knew I was going to try to complete the series within a week. I think it actually took three days.

I’ve heard complaints that the series should have been shorter, maybe 10 episodes, and while I agree that there are tapes that dragged a bit and/or could have been combined, I never finished an episode thinking, “Well, that was a waste of time.”

I normally wouldn’t write a post to discuss a show that I liked, I’d just tweet out my recommendation and move on with my life. But I feel compelled to write about a couple of the show’s plot points that haven’t necessarily received the coverage that I think they deserve based on the reviews I’ve read and heard. (I read a few finale recaps and listened to an hour podcast – Talking TV With Ryan and Ryan – which is a spoiler-heavy recap with a plenty of discussion about the pitfalls of a second season.)

Hannah Baker Equals Frustration!

Langford did a terrific job portraying Hannah, but that didn’t stop her from being a frustrating character to watch. Two examples jump out: 

1. How Hannah treated Zach Dempsey

In Zach’s tape, we learn that he returned after Marcus mistreated Hannah at the diner. He knew Marcus acted like an asshole, so he returned to stay with Hannah to support her. It was a stand up move, but the next day he squanders that goodwill by mentioning her “great ass” before saying that there’s so much more that he likes about her. I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist. Zach’s comments were poorly phrased, but the sentiment was positive, wasn’t it?

Hannah didn’t see it that way. As soon as she heard “great ass,” she was seeing red and she let Zach have it in front of the whole cafeteria. I thought she was too hard on him given the nature of his crime and the capital that he had earned at the diner the night before.

Zach is not the sharpest tool in the shed, and Hannah should have realized that his heart was in the right place. She could have explained her point of view in a much better manner to avoid alienating a person who was just reaching out in his own clunky way to say that he liked her. 

2. Going to Bryce’s house

In tape #12, Hannah explains how she ended up going to a party at the house of a known rapist.

After she loses $743 of her parents’ money, she goes down this dark path…

It seems like no matter what I did I kept letting people down. I started thinking how everyone’s lives would be better without me. And what does that feel like? It feels like nothing. Like a deep, endless, always blank nothing. And for those of you who will now be looking for signs everywhere, what does it really look like? Here’s the scary thing – it looks like nothing.

It wasn’t a short walk. I walked forever that night, through my old neighborhood where the houses were nicer than the one I lived in now. All the way up to the hill, where the rich people lived. Where you (Bryce) live. And from blocks away, I heard it. The music, the murmur of voices. The siren call of a party. You’d think I’d know better than to follow that call after Jessica’s party, but my feet followed it. My mind and heart were still in the big, blank nothing.

She ends up in the hot tub in her underwear, remains in the hot tub as the two other couples run off to the house, and the rest is history.

WHY WOULD YOU GO TO A PARTY AT THE HOUSE OF A KNOWN RAPIST?

I realize, for story-telling purposes, that there had to be something to push Hannah over the edge, to the point where she would seriously consider committing suicide. But for an otherwise intelligent, street-smart girl to wander into a party at Bryce’s house and stay, alone, until the end – it was a bridge too far.

(For those who may accuse me of victim-blaming, I’m really not trying to blame Hannah for what happened at the party. She should be able to get in the hot tub at the party and leave when she wanted to. Bryce is a narcissist, a probable sociopath, and an all-around disgusting excuse for a human being who should be locked up for a couple of decades...at least. I just think it was an extremely out-of-character decision for Hannah, given the information she had.)

Mr. Porter, Worst Guidance Counselor Ever? 

I’ve heard a few people complain about how Mr. Porter handled his session with Hannah. Some said he didn’t want to hear about the assault, others went so far as to call him the worst guidance counselor ever.

Here are a couple of key parts of their interaction:

Hannah: I need it to stop.

Porter: You need what to stop?

Hannah: (crying) I need everything to stop. People…life…

Porter: Life? (gives her tissue)

Cut to Porter/Clay conversation, cut back

Porter: Hannah, what did you mean when you said you needed life to stop? Because that seems like a very serious thing to say.

Hannah: I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, I guess.

At this point, Porter should not have let Hannah leave without bringing in a suicide counselor of some sort. She could be in crisis, and even though she said she didn’t mean it like that, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Instead, they go on to talk about the “best ass” list, and what happened at the party (with Bryce) a week ago.

I don’t agree with the assessment that Porter did not want to hear what Hannah had to say about what happened to her at Bryce’s house. He ignored his phone twice, stuck it in the drawer and hung up the phone when it rang. He pressed her multiple times about the identity of her assailant. Hannah even got up to leave in the middle of the session, and Porter convinced her to stay.

Porter: Did he force himself on you?

Hannah: I think so.

Porter: You think so, but you’re not sure. Did you tell him to stop?

Hannah: No.

Porter: Did you tell him no?

Hannah: No.

Porter: Maybe you consented and then changed your mind.

Hannah gets annoyed at this point, and won’t give Porter the name of her assailant unless he can promise that he’s going to go to jail. He says that can’t make that promise, so they’re at an impasse. He says that if she won’t pursue charges or tell him who raped her, then she has one choice: to move on.

Initially, I thought he did a decent-to-good job given the information he had, but I watched it again with my wife, who is an assistant principal at a high school, to get her take. She was less positive about his interaction with Hannah. She said that he asked most of the right questions, but that he didn’t give Hannah space to talk. Instead, it was like he was going down a checklist.

To “move on” is a logical piece of advice, but Hannah didn’t necessarily need logic at that point. Porter got off track by focusing on what happened at the party instead of Hannah’s earlier statement that she needed “life to stop.”

Hannah acts as if she’s accepted the fact that she needs to move on, but viewers know that at this point she has decided to commit suicide. She gets up to leave quickly, and Porter once again tries to get her to stay. But his phone rings (for the fourth time) and it sounds as if it’s his supervisor since he says “Yes, sir.” during the call.

Keep in mind, Hannah is standing just outside his door waiting to see if he’ll come after her. When he doesn’t, she wanders down the hall, talking into her microphone.

Porter failed Hannah by not immediately arranging for suicide counseling. Instead, he got off track with the discussion about the party and when that conversation ended, so did the session. Keep in mind that Hannah was recording the whole thing. Was she really looking for help or was she just looking for an end to her story?

A Second Season?

I’ve heard rumblings about a second season, which is a terrible idea. This series worked in large part because of Langford’s performance and the time-jumping story structure, which relied on Hannah’s tapes. I don’t see how Langford has a continued presence on the show, or how they carry the show’s unique structure into a second season.

They may try to turn Alex’s gunshot wound (suicide attempt?) into Hannah Baker, Part II. Miles Heizer was one of the best parts of the ensemble, so if a second season lost both Langford and Heizer, they’d be hard-pressed to carry the story forward.

Sometimes it’s okay for there to be 13 episodes of a great series and then that’s it.

One final note: The series soundtrack and musical cues were pretty great, so if you’re interested in hearing more, there’s this playlist on Spotify.