#i have to go through them instead of the county police that i'd feel much safer with (relatively

[untitleddiarybetweenfriends]

Yesterday I finished Kurt Vonnegut's, Breakfast of Champions. I saved the lines in the book that I felt were important or resonated with me. I hope you enjoy and some resonate with you. I thought, "Maybe I should write something about this book", but I'd rather let the man himself speak. Not to say I won't feel inclined to write about it anytime soon but anyway. Here you are.

---

“His high school was named after a slave owner who was also one of the world's greatest theoreticians on the subject of human liberty.” (On Thomas Jefferson High School)

“These were country girls. They had grown up in the rural south of the nation, where their ancestors had been used as agricultural machinery. The white farmers down there weren't using machines made out of meat anymore, though, because machines made out of metal were cheaper and more reliable, and required simpler homes.”

“Kilgore Trout once wrote a story called This Means You. It was set in the Hawaiian Islands…The law of gravity required that they (Hawaiians) stick somewhere on the surface. Either that, or they could go out into the water and bob offshore.

But then the Federal Government came through with an emergency program. It gave a big balloon full of helium to every man, woman and child who didn't own property.

There was a cable with a harness on it dangling from each balloon. With the help of the balloons, Hawaiians could go on inhabiting the islands without always sticking to things other people owned.”

“The prostitutes worked for a pimp now. He was splendid and cruel. He was a god to them. He took their free will away from them, which was perfectly all right. They didn't want it anyway. It was as though they had surrendered themselves to Jesus, for instance, so they could live unselfishly and trustingly except that they had surrendered to a pimp instead.”

“‘He works in a factory that makes chemicals for killing plants and trees in Viet Nam.’ Viet Nam was a country where America was trying to make people stop being communists by dropping things on them from airplanes. The chemicals he mentioned were intended to kill all the foliage, so it would be harder for communists to hide from airplanes… ‘In the long run, he's committing suicide,’ said the driver. ‘Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.’”

“‘I never saw a Rosewater,’ he said, ‘but Rosewater always won. I walked on Rosewater. I dug holes for Rosewater in Rosewater. I lived in Rosewater houses. I ate Rosewater food. I'd fight Rosewater, whatever Rosewater is, and Rosewater would beat me and leave me for dead. You ask people around here and they'll tell you: this whole world is Rosewater as far as they're concerned.’”

“This was in a country where everybody was expected to pay his own bills for everything, and one of the most expensive things a person could do was get sick.”

“The reindeer problem was essentially this: Nobody white had much use for black people anymore except for the gangsters who sold the black people used cars and dope and furni-ture. Still, the reindeer went on reproducing. There were these useless, big black animals everywhere, and a lot of them had very bad dispositions. They were given small amounts of money every month, so they wouldn't have to steal. There was talk of giving them very cheap dope, too to keep them listless and cheerful, and uninterested in reproduction.

The Midland City Police Department, and the Midland County Sheriff's Department, were composed mainly of white men. They had racks and racks of sub-machine guns and twelve-gauge automatic shotguns for an open season on reindeer, which was bound to come.”

“He knew of death by exposure because the papery voice of the little radio in his cell told of people's dying of exposure from time to time.

He missed that papery voice. He missed the clash of steel doors. He missed the bread and the stew and the pitchers of milk and coffee. He missed fucking other men in the mouth and the asshole, and being fucked in the mouth and the ass-hole, and jerking off and fucking cows in the prison dairy, all events in a normal sex life on the planet, as far as he knew.”

“And Dwayne was so open to new suggestions about the meaning of life that he was easily hypnotized. So, when he looked down into his martini, he was put into a trance by dancing myriads of winking eyes on the surface of his drink. The eyes were beads of lemon oil.” (This is a very nice sounding and attractive line to me._

“And then I had come suddenly to pity them, for I understood how innocent and natural it was for them to behave so abominably, and with such abominable results: They were doing their best to live like people invented in story books. This was the reason Americans shot each other so often: It was a convenient literary device for ending short stories and books.

Why were so many Americans treated by their government as though their lives were as disposable as paper facial tissues? Because that was the way authors customarily treated bit-part players in their made-up tales.”

“It was Trout's fantasy that somebody would be outraged by the footprints. This would give him the opportunity to reply grandly, ‘What is it that offends you so? I am simply using man's first printing press. You are reading a bold and universal headline which says, ‘I am here, I am here, I am here.’ "

“‘You are an experiment by the Creator of the Universe. You are the only creature in the entire Universe who has free will. You are the only one who has to figure out what to do next and why. Everybody else is a robot, a machine. Some persons seem to like you, and others seem to hate you, and you must wonder why. They are simply liking machines and hating machines. You are pooped and demoralized,’ read Dwayne. ‘Why wouldn't you be? Of course it is exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.’”

“Eddie Key had begun to store in his mind the names and adventures of ancestors on both his mother's and father's sides of his family when he was only six years old. As he sat in the front of the disaster vehicle, looking out through the windshield, he had the feeling that he himself was a vehicle, and that his eyes were windshields through which his progenitors could look, if they wished to.”

“We Americans require symbols which are richly colored and three-dimensional and juicy. Most of all, we hunger for symbols which have not been poisoned by great sins our nation has committed, such as slavery and genocide and criminal neglect, or by tinhorn commercial greed and cunning.”

---

I don't know how to feel about this book but I do know these lines are important.

[jacobseedvaas35]

Befriended

(Chapter 4: Returning Ex)

Warnings: (domestic abuse)

Word Count: 1527

Sunday went past pretty fast, considering how bad the storm was. Living near a forest was not easy during stormy days. The thunderstorms sound bad and Isabella was certain that the lightning hit a couple of different trees. The sound of the smash got to her too scared, she ended up running to Jacob house for the day. Lucky for her, the storm was over by the evening and she was able to go back home.

Now it was Monday and her first day at her new job. It was still raining but the weather was definitely not like yesterday. Isabella examined herself in the locker room, looking at her badge. 'Hope County Deputy'. She smiled and then walked out of the room.

"Rook. My office" Sheriff Whitehorse called out.

Isabella nodded and headed to the Sheriff's office. "Good morning Sir".

"Good morning. Welcome to your first day to the job. How you feeling?" Sheriff Whitehorse asked.

"Nervous but excited as well".

"You'll be ok. Just stick with Hudson and Pratt. Sit down" the sheriff said and Isabella complied. "Tell me. How's things going with Jacob?"

"I'd like to say good. We had dinner on Saturday, at my place. We spoke and got to know each other a bit. We've made plans to have dinner at each other's houses two times a week" Isabella explained.

"You're doing well Rookie"

"Yeah. And he was kind enough to take me in yesterday, when I got scared of the storm. So you can say things are going well"

"I'm glad to hear. What approach are you taking?" Sheriff Whitehorse asked with curiousness.

"Friendly but a mix of flirtatious as well"

"How's he taking the flirting?"

"He seems ok with it. Flirts with me as well. The other day, I walked out to check my mailbox and I forgot that I was in my night gown. Jacob complimented my appearance and walked away".

"Good job Rookie. Sounds like he is interested in you".

"Really?" Isabella asked, thinking about it herself.

"Sounds like it. Who knows, maybe all Jacob needs is someone in his life" The Sheriff said, throwing hints at Isabella.

Isabella started blushing, understanding what the Sheriff was trying to say. "Sir. I'm not ready for any relationships at this stage. Not after my last one".

"I understand. Probably none of my business but may I suggest, friends with benefit?" The sheriff suggested with a smile on his face.

"Are you really suggesting that I sleep around with Jacob Seed? I've never thought I'd see the day a boss suggesting such a thing to his workers" Isabella laughed.

"You don't really understand how important it is to have Jacob on the good side"

"I do understand but..."

"Rookie, I wouldn't suggest such a thing if I had no other choice. These Seed brothers, they are very lustful people and sex is the only way to convince them. How do you think we got John and Joseph on our side?"

"Oh wow. Let me guess Hudson was part of it?" Isabella guessed.

"You can say that but her and John are now married, so...." sheriff whitehorse shrugged and laughed.

Isabella sighed and finally accepted the Sheriff's suggestion. Not only was she going to befriend Jacob Seed but now she had to find a way to get him in her bed. Even though she was not that type of girl, for her career it was something she had to do.

-

Nearly a month went by since Sheriff Whitehorse's "Friends With Benefits" suggestion was given but Isabella continued to take things slow with Jacob. Like they spoke, the two of them had dinner at each other's houses on Mondays and Friday's. The two were getting along very well and Isabella started to grow something feelings for Jacob. Now she was ready to start phase two.

She was heading home from work, Friday late afternoon. The sun was still out and the weather was just as warm as the morning. She parked her car in her driveway and made her way to the door, before being stopped by a familiar voice. Much to her fear, Isabella turned around and came face to face with her abusive ex-fiancé.

"Mark? What the hell are you doing here? How did you even find me?" Isabella started questioning him. The terror growing slowly.

"Your parents told me you moved here and it wasn't too hard to find you. After all, I know you career and knew where to find you" Mark explained.

"Leave. Right now" Isabella said.

"No can do. We need to talk"

"Talk? Or beat me up?"

Without saying anything, Mark raised his hand in the air and slapped Isabella. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her body into his. "Oh Bella, how I've missed you".

"LET ME GO" Isabella started screaming and crying.

Mark lifted his knee and with a big force, slammed his knee into her stomach, causing Bella to scream her lungs out and fall onto the ground. "I've got a lot of anger built up in me Bella. You thought being a police officer was going to save you from me? I'm not scared" Mark said and laid a punch on his face.

"HELP!" Bella yelped, hoping someone was near. She waited for Mark to lay more punches but something didn't seem right. He went silent and no punches were laid. Bella looked up and instead, saw Mark lying on the floor. She took a better look and saw Jacob standing at Mark's feet. "Jacob" she whispered.

"So you like hitting girls, hey?" Jacob said angrily and kicked Mark's legs so hard, he yelled with pain. He grabbed Mark's shirt and lifted him up, before punching him hard in the face. Mark fell onto the ground again and blood started pouring out of his mouth. Jacob took that as a sign to leave him and go and check on Isabella.

"Jacob" Bella said out loud, wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck and cried as he lifted her up, into her feet.

"You ok Bella?" He asked, examining her up and down. "Shit, your nose is bleeding".

"I'm okay" Bella said and hugged Jacob again.

Jacob turned around and watched Mark stand up slowly. Isabella felt so good seeing Mark in bad condition. He got what he deserved. Especially after all those times he put her through the same thing.

"This isn't over Bella. Your mine" Mark said through his bloody mouth.

"I'm not yours anymore Mark. Never will be" Bella yelled back, taking Mark by shock. This was the first time she ever spoke back to him with such a tone.

"She's mine now" Jacob added. "And you'll have to get through me, to get her. You touch her again and next time, I'll fucking kill you".

Jacob's words scared Mark. He finally realised that Isabella wasn't alone anymore and that he wasn't ever going to get to her easy again. The man that was protecting her was a big and strong man and by the looks of his dog tags and army jacket, he was an ex-military guy.

"She's yours huh?" Mark asked, trying to get more information about the two of them.

"You fucking bet" Jacob growled and that's as enough for Mark to run off. He turned back to Isabella and made sure she was okay again. "Come on, I'll clean you up" Jacob said and helped her to his house.

Jacob made Bella sit on the couch, while he got some items to help with her bleeding nose. When he returned, he immediately got down to cleaning Bella.

"Thanks Jacob" Bella said, very appreciative for Jacob's help.

"No worries. Who was that?" Jacob asked.

Bella sighed and looked at Jacob, "my ex-fiancé".

"You we're engaged?"

"Yeah. Thanks to my stupid parents".

"Has he always been like this? You know? Abusive?"

"Yes. I was with him for a whole year and in that year, day and night, he use to beat me up. My parents did nothing about it. They let him do it" Bella explained.

"What kind of parents let their daughter get beaten up every day".

"My parents. They were happy for me to get beaten up because at the end of the day, it was his money that they had their eyes on"

"Ahh that explains it. Rich guy?"

"Yep. Hadn't seen him for months" Bella grabbed Jacob's hand, looked him deep in the eyes and started to cry. "Jacob, I'm so scared. He'll come back for me".

"Not when I'm around. He won't lay another finger on you Bella" Jacob reassured her.

"You don't understand. He'll come for me when I'm home alone or at night, by breaking into my house. He found me again and he isn't going to let me go that easily".

"You're not alone anymore. If I have to, I'll stay with you, day and night" Jacob said, putting his hand on her cheek.

"You'll do that?"

"If you want me too Bella, I'll definitely stay with you".

"Thank you Jacob" Bella said, finally at ease. No more worries about her ex.

[courtrae89]

Queens Of Odins Eye (A Sons of Anarchy, Vikings AU)

Warnings:Language, Criminal activity, Crooked Law Enforcement, Smut insinuated, kinda some fluff at the end.

Pulling up to the club house in my Police issued vehicle was the last thing I thought I would be doing today. “Damn it.. Gray really is worthless” I said aloud to myself. Thank Odin I was last to pull in I thought as I watched Brii, pull out from the back lot with a couple of Ragnars sons with her.

Floki, Rollo, and Ragnar all lay on their bellies on the ground, I straddled Ragnar to cuff him, down on one knee I laened down to whisper in his ear “Sorry about this, I have a plan worked out. I’ll have you guys out in a couple hours. Give that bitch hell while your in there” I could see the smile creep up on Ragnars face as his eyes shining with pride met mine “no problem sweetheart, I'd kiss you if Floki wouldn’t chop my lips off for it” I began to lift him up, and gave him a little shove in the direction of another officer and his patrol car. “watch yourself BITCH” Ragnar called out to me, spitting at my feet, he enjoyed giving my co-workers a show a little to much.

I made my way to Detective Halfdan, I was over this bullshit, and I was going to put a stop to it. “Hey Danny can I borrow you for a moment?” Halfdan looked up and smiled at me, he probably already knew where I was going with this “Sure Courtney, walk with me while I sweep the club house again, you know how the feds are” I smiled, and went to follow “that’s kinda what I wanna talk about Danny, what the fuck is Agent Gray doing on this case? Why is she poking her nose in local affairs, she’s goddamn FBI Danny and we haven’t even had a chance to investigate our own case for her butting in” Danny stopped walking, sighed and put his head down, kicked an imaginary rock then looked me in the eye “your right Courtney, I’m not stupid I know your intentions here, however that doesn’t make it any less true, and to be honest, Id love to see her at the department a little less” I nodded, stuck my hands in my pockets and began to turn “thanks Danny, that’s from me, not the club, but they appreciate you too” I made my way back through the club house looking to see if I could spot Kia and Ubbe, there was no sign of them, I hope they got out ok.

Once I was safely in the Tahoe I opened my burner, I had a missed call from Brii, and one from Ivar, I knew they were together, and honestly I needed Ivars “special skills” if this was gonna work, I preferred Floki, but let’s be honest he was Ivars “teacher” and Floki was headed to the department to be interrogated by that fucking house mouse or more like RAT Gray. I dialed Ivars number, he started this shit, and he was gonna fucking finish it.

Ivar “hello”

Courtney “Ivar listen, they have a witness, I have the location, but I’m only giving it to you if you promise to take someone with a little bit of a brain, do NOT kill the witness, just make them never want to come back to this gods forsaken town, got it?”

Ivar “of course Courtney anything you say”

I could hear his smirk through the fucking phone and honestly thought better of giving him the address, but what else could we do? I reluctantly gave him the information as I started my vehicle and headed to the department, still on the line.

Courtney “let me talk to Brii”

Brii “Hey Court tell me something good, I can’t put up with these fuckers for much longer”

Courtney “ hahaha I understand your pain sweetheart, I’ve got a plan, just a waiting game now, just wanted to give you a heads up, Ubbe and Kia are at the safe house, you guys can head over if you want, gotta get back to work, talk to you soon, be safe” and with that I hung up.

After writing my reports for the day I decided to head for home, I needed my own shower, and I didn’t feel like the drive to the safe house.

Getting dressed after my shower my phone began to buzz

“hello Agent Gray, how may I help you?” I said, sarcasm dripping from my tongue “Courtney you fucking cunt I swear to God’s I will fucking have your head for this shit” I laughed a deep laugh throwing my head back “something wrong Agent Gray?” I guess my plan worked “you know what I really don’t care this county cop got shit done pig” I hung up and decided to give Detective Halfdan a call.

Speaking with Danny confirmed it, he had her boss take her off the case, what was FBI doing dabbling with local cases? That’s not worth their time, and apparently the witness recanted their statement, club was free to go. I called Kia to let them know it was safe to go back to the Club house.

Once I hung up I heard the roaring of an engine pull in my drive, assuming it was Rollo coming to fetch me again I swung the door open to tell him not to bother, and my body was met with the hard chest of Flokis instead, pushing me into the house and kicking the door shut behind him.

Floki’s lips crashed into mine, he wasn’t the best with words, but he always made sure I understood his actions. His kisses became more urgent, his hands striping me of all clothing, soon I was straddling his hips as he carried me back to my room, throwing me on the bed he towered above me, stopping to admire what was his, what had always been his “My Queen” were the only words I needed to feel those butterflies in my stomach again.

Lying with my head on Floki’s chest I began to question it all, I gave so much effort to Floki, to the club, I loved them all truly, but would that all end one day? I could be a pretty bad bitch on the job or for the club, but when it came to Floki I was a mess, when we were fighting I was fierce, when we weren’t it was all bed sheets, tangled legs, sweet nothing’s, giggles and rainbows and shit, he was the same, maybe that was the problem, shit just blew up in our faces and we were to stubborn for our own good, but I was ready, it’s all or nothing, I needed to lay it out.

“I got a job offer in Rogaland” this job offer had come about right after Floki and I went off again a few weeks ago, and I had not accepted nor declined. My love for Floki was undying, but I was tired.

“You taking it?” he said without a trace of what he might want me to say.

I sat up on the bed pulling away from him, so I could look him in the eye “I feel like I’m where I should be, with you, with the club. My love for you Floki is unrelenting you know that. I know you give a ahit, you make it undoubtedly clear that I’m a priority in your life, you've saved my ass almost as much as I’ve saved the clubs, but we're either together or we're not, I am very well worth the it, but I can’t keep this up, and…..”

His lips met mine with urgency for the second time tonight “I love you Courtney, you will always be my Queen, you and the club, that’s all I’ve ever given a shit about, now shut up about this job your not going to take and lay back down with me” he grunted, then pulled me close and threw the covers back over us….I guess I had my answer.

My fellow trouble makers:@laketaj24 @imgoldielikehawn @grungyblonde

writing with you ladies has been a blast!!

@therealcalicali @wheredidallthedreamersgo @titty-teetee @mostlikelypantsless @kitkat1690 @ivarsrideordie @readsalot73 @ivaraddict @akamaiden @hippybride @whenimaunicorn @sparklemichele @dangerousvikings @ivarsshieldmadien @lucifersfavoritedaughter @anarchy-is-coming

[revchainsaw]

Demolition Man (1993)

I am by no means an Action Movie guy. I have however time and time again found myself surprised by the genre when it has found its way into my viewing habits. The first Action Movie that really impressed me was Die Hard. I watched it one Christmas as I searched for more unusual holiday fare and was utterly blown away. I felt as if I should seek out more of these films. I got as far as Lethal Weapon 2 before I retreated back to the world of absurd horror and sci-fi. If not for the power of cultural osmosis and the question of the 3 shells i might not have worked up the interest to check out 1993's Demolitions Man. I was expecting a typical cop vs criminal action flick starring Stallone, but what I found was an absolutely delightful Science Fiction Comedy.

The Message

Released in 1993 Demolition man starts right out of the gate with a hilariously pessimistic prediction that by the year 1996 every city in America will be Gotham on crack. The Joker of this film is Simon Phoenix and though he lacks the circus act accoutrement he is absolutely a clown prince of crime. I would not be surprised to discover Heath Ledger took inspiration from Snipes for his turn as an agent of chaos. Phoenix is an unstoppable force and in Stallone he finds his immoveable object, John Spartan (God I love these action movie names), a cop who will walk through hell itself to see this mad man brought to justice. However in his blind pursuit of his greatest enemy Spartan is easily coaxed into making reckless decisions, resulting in unnecessary fatalities. Both Spartan and Phoenix are thus sentenced to cryogenic prison sentences.

In 2032, Phoenix is thawed out for a parole hearing and of course things go as you might expect. Phoenix finds that he has changed, someone has used scifi shenanigans on him while he was frozen giving him abilities both mental and physical that he had not had before, hinting at some kind of conspiracy, he also finds that this was overkill as even the unmodified Phoenix would not have had any trouble conquering the world of 2032. Society has become utopian and nobody has a concept of using physical force to resolve issues. This leads the police of the time to make the controversial decision to thaw out Spartan to bring down the villain.

Hilarity ensues as Sandra Bullocks character, Lenina Huxley (awesome name once again; named after the author of Brave New World), is tasked with keeping the primitive 90s action hero in line with the moral imperatives of the time. This includes avoiding violence, not using naughty words, a vegetarian diet, and socially distanced sexual intercourse (a gag at the time but in the real life 2020's may have been a welcome invention).

Without giving too much more away, this future peace comes at a great cost to personal freedom and expression and there is a society of free people living in the fringes of society known as Scraps lead by a civil rights leader of sorts named Friendly. There is a sinister conspiracy to wipe them out that is the central plot contrivance that brought our forces of Good and Evil to face off. The Super Phoenix betrays his handlers, seeks to turn this utopia into his personal playground and is eventually defeated by Spartan in the final showdown. Sylvester Stallone eagerly eats a rat burger and Sandra Bullock says a cuss word at one point.

The Benediction

Best Character: Phoenix Rises

Everyone loves a villain. I had mostly known Wesley Snipes from the Blade films and did not know he had this kind of range. I expected very stoic boring bad ass action dialogue from both Stallone and Snipes in this movie, and believed the sci-fi elements would simply be space cars and laser guns but was I wrong. I'm so happy to be wrong. This film just surprised me and Snipes performance as Phoenix was by far the most enjoyable. I loved his menace and the threat that he presented. I don't think there had been such a loveable bastard force of nature character like this portrayed in film so well until this time. He is such a believable threat that I really doubted there was going to be a way to bring him down. It was great to see the other characters underestimate him and to see him not only physically dominate his obstacles but to also out smart and out class his 'puppet masters' was just a pleasure the whole time.

Best Actor: Bullock in the Chamber

I know that Sandra Bullock stars in a ton of comedy films but I've never been able to say that I found her to be particularly funny. She also strangely plays a cop in a lot of these comedies. I may think of Lilina Huxley every time I think of Sandra Bullock from now on. She was absolutely hilarious, deadpan and dedicated to this character in a way that sold the world of 2032 America. I really don't think that the overly sensitive utopic world would have felt like a genuine place where human beings lived and not just a cartoonish backdrop without the honesty that Bullock brought to the role. It's hard to find actors who can inhabit a comedic world as seriously as a Middle Earth. And maybe that's not what she'd like to be remembered for, but I think she deserves that credit.

Best Aspect: a Genre/Genre/Genre Classic

Demolition Man is such a pleasant surprise. No one in this movie seems to begrudge it's wackiness and it lends itself to the humor in a way that lets the audience rest in the assurance that this was a pleasure for the cast and crew as much as it is a pleasure for us. It doesn't sacrifice it's action to be to screwball, and it doesn't sacrifice it's world building to be to absurd. It's a comedy that takes it's self seriously. I can not stress enough that this movie nails several genre's at once. It's a funny comedy, an ideologically committed satire, an exciting action flick, a hard science fiction tale that explores the high concept of the consequences of utopia, and a fantasy that sells it's goofy future world.

Worst Aspect: If Only Cops Were More Violent

I am not a fan of the implications of the film. In the 90s it seemed that PC culture was the big enemy of personal freedom and that giving a shit about other peoples feelings was going to turn our civilization into a bunch of overly sensitive weaklings. This narrative has imbedded itself in our culture and produced a generation of selfish assholes who feel completely justified in their every callous action. Demolition Man is a Libertarian science fiction film, but I find that it's central fiction is just that. I do not believe that committing to non-violent conflict resolutions, considering the feelings of others, and not eating meat will 'neuter' our abilities to live individually free and fulfilling lives. It's a caricature, that while funny, i think is inaccurate. If you are of the mindset that Personal Freedom is at odds with social justice then you may find yourself enjoying the idea that it takes a violent police reaction to save society from it's own worst impulses, but I find that idea fairly fantastical. I think seeing the community stand firm in their convictions and still overcome evil may have been a more ideologically realistic interpretation of how the day can be saved, but instead we are given a lone wolf renegade cop killing the bad guy will reform the world, and in todays world, that just seems like a profoundly stupid message.

Best Scene: Fight at the Museum

Demolition Man boasts several ass kicking confrontations between Spartan and Phoenix. The opening Escape from L.A. backdrop that establishes these deadly foes, and the fall out that an interaction between the two can have is considered extreme even when the world is seemingly at the brink of collapse. It really sets a high stake for our squeaky clean future. The final battle in the Cryo-lab is also iconic and features a pretty excellent practical effect. However, I'd have to give the best scene to the fight at the weapons exhibit. The fact that Spartan knows his enemy so well is on display as he predicts that the Weapons exhibit will be an irresistible draw, we get to see Phoenix at his chaotic best, great one liners, and it's just a toy box for both Hero and Villain to let lose and deliver on that fall out I was just mentioning had been set up in the first act. While I loved the comedic take on this rivalry, I'd like to see Snipes and Stallone take up their beef again in a more seriously violent film. They make for great arch-rivals.

Best Gag: Potty Mouth

When I was a kid I remember my father hauling ass down our residential road and getting pulled over just a block away from our driveway. I think he was doing 55 in a 35. It was his fault but as the proud small government southern man he was, he felt it was absolutely overreach on behalf of the police department to give him a ticket on the road that he lived on. Stupid, I know. But our car was full of groceries and the officer let our ice cream melt while the whole time we sat in the truck with our home in view. My father was so enraged about this ticket that he got revenge on the mean old government by writing the check to pay his ticket, and then using said check to wipe sweat from his ass crack after mowing the lawn the next day. He mailed it in and I as an 11 year old knew that it was not going to effect the offending officer in the least, but that some poor old county clerk was going to probably get pink eye. Anyway, if you handle money or checks, you should always wear gloves, or wash your hands regularly before touching your face or eating. All that to say, I really enjoyed that after being frustrated with the 3 shell system Stallone racks up a series of fines for profanity. These fines are issued via an automated ticket dispenser on the wall in the police department. Stallone lets out a string of hilarious expletives that I hope to God were adlibbed, before he is satisfied with a nice pile of paper in his hand. He implies that he is going to the bathroom to do a little paperwork, and the scene is over. Even if you don't want to watch the whole movie, go ahead and YouTube this scene. Stallone has a surprising talent for comedy on display here.

Summary

To Begin with, I would say not to take this film too seriously: It is a comedy, after all, and I am not certain that the political implications of the movie were meant to be thought out as much as I have above. Unlike Judge Dredd, which Stallone would star in 2 years after this, (tragically deciding to bring Rob Schneider along with him) Demolition Man does not openly advocate for fascism. It's funny, it's a tight story with a satisfying conclusion, it's got great action choreography and it may be Snipes, Bullock and Stallone at their absolute best.

Overall Grade: B