#i have no idea what they're talking about with the “don't pronounce the T” thing

[front-facing-pokemon]

eelektrik nose review: no nose/10 but if you remove the teeth it would look like the letter Ö and that would be silly so this guy gets a pass

uh oh. we have competition:

that is kinda silly. that they would look like Ö. but now the actual nose rater has come in to disagree so you two can fight that one out

[lowkeyrobin]

Oh hello me again 👀

I had another idea lmao, this one's a little dumber but here me out 🙏

Joshdub x Reader teasing each other over accents/comparing accents (literally any accent I don't mind, I just need Josh content, literally my second favorite of The Boys and second favorite Australian lol)

STOP I LOVE THIS AWERHJRNWNRBSNSN ; thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy ; your reqs r literally the best lol ; also I'll have that foolish one you sent me up soon I just need to tweak some stuff

JOSHDUB ; accents

summary ; you and Josh like to bully each other over your accents

warnings ; language, excessive DubDaddy running gag/joke idfk

word count ; 646

masterlist

"Bro, shut the fuck up, no way you're trying to diss me with your biscuits and tea looking self"

"Says you, scorpion fucker!"

"What the hell is happening right now?" Mully questions with a slight laugh, looking over to Juicy, Eddie, Gabby, and Narrator.

Juicy answers his question, "They're fighting over their accents"

The four watch as you and Josh continue roasting and arguing with each other, throwing insults every which way.

You were all staying at Juicy's house for a large sleepover-party, currently located in the living room. Prior to the playful argument, you'd all been watching a dumb action movie, which got paused because you all agreed that it was too boring and wanted to talk instead. The girls, minus Gabby, had left to go pick up some pizza and wings, considering none of you had eaten dinner yet, and it was already seven in the evening.

Gabby laughs, hearing another cruel insult escape your mouth. "When are the girls getting back with the pizza?"

Narrator looks down at his watch, "Hopefully within the next 15 minutes before they strangle each other"

"You're a cock sucker. You literally speak in gibberish"

"Says you! A few sandwiches short of a picnic. What's that even mean?"

"Okay, and I'm supposed to know what chuck a sickie and fire up the barbie mean? Quiet yourself down, Josh"

Juicy snickers, a hand loosely covering his mouth as he looks away momentarily. Eddie laughs, cheering you on in his native language across the room, Gabby under his arm. Mully can't help but laugh with Narrator beside him, both of them unable to hold back their amusement. It wasn't necessarily what you were speaking was funny, it was the tone and why you were fighting that got them.

"This is the stupidest thing we've ever argued over" Josh chuckles, "That includes that time where you tried to gaslight me into thinking you didn't call me DubDaddy"

"Again, that wasn't gaslighting! I didn't call you DubDaddy!"

"Why do you say daddy like that?" He laughs, "You accentuate the a like an au sound"

"It's just how I speak! Say tuna"

"Tuna" He speaks, pronouncing it like ch-una.

"See?!" You exclaim, "You're the one talking weird"

"You say tuna like t-ew-nah!" He counterclaims

"Yeah, okay" You playfully roll your eyes and cross your arms, leaning back into the couch. You look over at Juicy, then Eddie and Gabby, then Mully and Narrator. "I don't say it like that, right?"

They're silent, failing to hide the smiles tugging at the corners of their lips.

"You're fucking kidding me!"

"To be fair!-" Juicy quickly speaks, "You both sound dumb. Mully does too."

"Ha!" You laugh, looking at Josh with a smug smile.

"What the hell?" Mully questions, looking to Juicy, "When was I involved in them?"

Juicy shrugs, "Since you decided to be Australian, brother"

"Dawg, you can't choose to be a certain nationality," Eddie laughs, using his free hand to rub the T-section between his eyes and over his nose.

"Are we not going to talk about the DubDaddy thing?" Mully asks, refocusing the conversation. "I don't remember this happening"

"Shut the fuck up" You quickly reply, moving your legs around to sit criss-cross on the couch.

"No, no, no. Tell us about that" Juicy giggles.

Josh quickly explains before you can tell your side of the story. "We were on VR Minecraft, after that 24 hour challenge-"

"I didn't call you DubDaddy!"

"-And we were trying to at least get to the Nether, right? They fell into a pit of lava, logged out while screaming DubDaddy into their mic, wanting me to help them or get water to save them from the lava pit they were in" Josh chuckles, seeing your annoyed expression.

"I did not call him that, I swear on my life"

"I don't think anyone's believing you, Y/n"

[riftwalker-limbro]

stolen dreams

masterpost

----

"-which means this Maroo might be in real trouble," the Lotus finished.

The Operator was already nodding and strapping their skana onto their back, They had no idea what an Arcane Codex was, and apparently, neither did Ordis. "Why have I never heard of them?" he asked, seemingly talking to himself. "Ordis needs to do some research."

Ordis seemed to have gotten over his major resentment of Grineer to not even comment on a mission rescuing someone from their grasp - or the prospect of this new thing was really just that interesting to him. The Operator was glad for him to direct his focus outward for once, and not on running endless diagnostics to find out what was wrong with him. The glitch in his voice hadn't gone away even after they'd finished fixing the Orbiter up, after he'd indicated all of his segments had been returned to him. They were a little worried about it - but whenever he did glitch, it sounded like he was speaking more from whatever his equivalent of a heart was, less politeness wrapped around his often-blunt message, so they couldn't be too heartbroken about it. Still, something about it bothered them.

He dropped them off on Venus, without any of his usual parting words or well-wishes. He must have been really absorbed by the research. Nonetheless, their target was marked, and they hunted down Maroo quickly.

She had some more information about the mysterious Arcane Codices for them - or, more accurately, their current market value. She blustered and swaggered, and eventually, they managed to pull the location of the Codex she'd sold to the Corpus out of her, and off they went to retrieve it. Ordis had kept his thoroughly-engrossed-in-new-things silence all this time, but once they returned with the Codex, he spoke up again.

He let them know the Corpus have three codices and the Grineer two - and the Lotus revealed the plan: to retrieve all of them and examine them together, something which has never been done before.

When Maroo pronounced Ordis' name as Ordo, and he did not manage to restrain an annoyed glitch in her digital direction, the Operator felt laughter bubbling up in their chest. Weirdly, there was no way out for it, so they just felt giddy for a minute while they finished discussing the next course of action.

They stole the Grineer codices, and then the ones acquired by the Corpus. After the first few, Ordis spoke up again.

"Operator, have you looked at these codices? They're absolutely beautiful! Composed with such elegance and grace, I have never seen anything like them. Is there even an Operator capable of writing anything so perfect?" He sounded absolutely mesmerized by them, and it fired off a little pang of something inside their chest.

"Writing?" they signed at his camera, curious and surprised at his enthusiasm. "The Arcane codices are writings?"

"Of a sort," Ordis replied, excited, "it's code! As in machine code, that something could execute! I don't think we have enough fragments for me to be able to emulate its intended receptacle yet, but-"

"Whoa, I don't think I'd want to plug some random code we stole from Grineer and Corpus into you," they interrupted his train of thought. "Who knows what that might be, if it could cause harm?"

Ordis halted, considering. "Ordis thinks the Operator is probably right," he eventually said, sounding almost disappointed, before quickly perking up, finding another way forward. "But we have to find the original machine for these codices! I simply must see this work of art in action."

"It is done," the Operator signed, feeling giddy again, excited as well, before asking Ordis for the coordinates to the next target location. Something about this discovery, that the codices were readable code, shook loose some old memories in their brain. Examining them could wait, though. They were almost as curious as Ordis was.

With the final codices also in their possession, they trekked back to the machine that Maroo extracted the codex from that had started this whole mess. Maroo herself, in charge of the mission as she was the only one who had ever been to the machine and made it back alive, was so distinctly focused on getting treasure, getting rich, making a profit - it rankled the Operator a little. What about finally finding out the answer to what must've been a mystery for decades before they found out about it?

They semi-tuned out the Lotus and Maroo fighting over the comms, and quietly signed at Ordis to receive directions, which he gave, also quiet, also focused. When Maroo noticed they'd reached the machine, she finally shut up and tuned in to what was going on again, right as they inserted the combined codices into the dusty-looking machine.

What assaulted their ears next was an unimaginable noise, distorted by the passage of time and, undoubtedly, the buildup of Infested grime within the machine. There was a pattern to the static, but the only thing the Operator could glean was that there was a message the noise was obscuring. They were about to hit the machine with their skana in frustration, but-

"All is silent and calm," a voice repeated, now almost clear. "Hushed and empty is the womb of the sky."

For just a moment, they were stunned silent. Then, something in a more distant part of the derelict howled in agony, the Lotus yelled "watch out!", and an Infested, larger than any other they'd seen so far, was barreling towards them. With some trouble, they dispatched it, and then ran for extraction, not waiting to see if anything else would be after them or willing to investigate the howling.

Maroo made a lot of noise about treasure, or rather, the present lack of any, but the Lotus seemed unsettled enough to not be needled by it, and neither was the Operator. Once safely back on the Orbiter, they were finally able to relax again, to shiver and discard the Infested remains upon their skin.

"So you're saying," Ordis mused, "there was no treasure? No cure for cloning syndrome, no lost Tenno Cephalon?"

A pang went through them. Was Ordis still thinking about another Cephalon to replace him? Before they could reply, Maroo made a quick exit, now that there was no profit to split.

"You're still thinking about other Cephalons?" the Operator signed up at Ordis, as soon as Maroo and the Lotus' lines went dead, and they were alone once more.

"Well, in this case, Ordis was rather hoping for another Series-2 Cephalon," Ordis shared, sounding a bit embarrassed, but also tired. "You see, there are many newer Cephalon around now, and I've been talking to them over the Weave since you returned to me, but there's not really anyone like Ordis, anymore."

The melancholy in his voice was tangible. They dropped down to the floor, leaning against the wall of the Liset, and patted the metal plating with one hand, raising another to reply. "Was there, in the past?"

"Oh yes," Ordis began, enthusiastically, "there was- there… Hm."

He stayed quiet for a moment. "There was?" the Operator prompted.

"Ordis feels like he can almost remember them," he said, "but not quite."

"Aw," they signed. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay, Operator. The new Cephalons are interesting, too, and they have so many new capabilities - they might even…" and he suddenly trailed off.

They tilted their head, and when that didn't work to bring their Cephalon back to the present, they crossed their arms as well, amused.

"Oh!" Ordis suddenly said, surprising them a little. "Operator, I know what we should do next."

"What?"

"One of the newer Cephalon - one called Simaris, and he is so great, so knowledgeable - he sent out a request for help, just now. Some of his sentinels have been trapped in a Grineer prison block."

They clapped their hands together once, and stood back up from the floor, fluidly turning back to the nav console. "Sounds easy! Let's go rescue some sentinels. Reckon he might let me keep one?"

"Oh, Operator, imagine," Ordis said, sounding star-struck. "That would be so gracious of him!"

The Operator shook their head at the console in front of them, thoroughly amused. "You want to get your head out of those clouds anytime soon, or should I input the coordinates myself? I might make a mistake if I do, though."

"Oh, uhm-"

"The sooner we might get this done, we might even be able to go speak to him!" they encouraged him, warmth suffusing their body at how fun it was to poke at Ordis.

With a flustered silence, the nav coordinates appeared on the console, and their course was set.

[masschase]

actually i can’t remember if you’ve talked about this before so apologies in advance, but #14 for the ask meme: what voice does casey have in-game and do you headcanon her with a different voice? and if you have already answered that, i’m curious about your voiceclaims for your other OCs

Sorry this took a while; I have a fever and it's confusing me as to what I'm doing rn...

Unsurprisingly I'm going to answer both 😅

Boss ask meme

14. Which voice does your Boss have? Or if you imagine them speaking differently to one of the in-game voices, describe it.

So I think I answered this at some point but it was pretty brief. Casey's voice is SR3/4 Female Voice 1, the Laura Bailey voice. Apparently that voice is not so popular 😅 but it's how I've always imagined her. In 2 I play with the other Female voice 1 but hc she sounds the same as 3/4. I guess it's probably a little different in my head to in-game just because I've written as her vastly more than I've played as her by this point.

In SR1 I never attempted to remake "unnamed SR4 Boss" as she was at the time, I had a different Boss entirely. But I imagine her voice just sounding appropriately younger; a little higher pitched and when talking for extended periods, probably a little more timid too, though obviously the one-liners we hear in-game are her at her most confident.

I think we can assume the Stilwater accent is similar to Detroit, but her mom was from a different area of Michigan and in terms of later in life she has been heavily influenced by living in Steelport and Washington so I think her accent is pretty mixed. In terms of how Michigan I imagine it she definitely says stuff like didja, toldja, meetcha, y'guys instead of y'all, ope instead of oops, and Matt teases her over "meer" and "cloze". She doesn't have the vowel rotations like "melk", "stahp" though, I think her mom did though so she actually finds that pretty grating.

So yeah; she probably sounds a little different in my hc but I did study the LB voice lines as much as possible... the videos are just loooooong 😅

22. Another question not listed here: Do you have voiceclaims for your other OCs?

Pretty much all of my OCs have voices in my head but I don't think I have voice claims for most of them.

Mori is a difficult one because he's one of my most important OCs and I have a clear idea but no voice claim. In terms of tone I always imagine his voice being similar to the friend I based him off, whose voice has been likened to JJ Olatunji/KSI, but Mori is not British; his accent would be Stilwater but with several words pronounced with a Bajan inflection as he lived in Barbados for the first 11 years of his life.

Nessa's voice claim is KO/Karen Olivo because the minute I named the character Vanessa I couldn't help but associate her with Vanessa from In The Heights, and KO originated that role.

Rhys only has one line in my fanfic which is a very smooth "Mi rey." when he finally sees Pierce again. I'm tempted to say he sounds the same as his faceclaim Laith Ashley. His voice when speaking Spanish is how I imagined, maybe slightly different when speaking English, but he has a nice voice, I think it works.

Charlie's from East London so think the cockney male voice in a higher register. They're AFAB on a microdose of T.

I haven't really given Ward a voice yet but later I might have a walk around in SR2 and the first npc voice that suits him, I'm going to steal 🤣

Jenny is from Laredo, Texas and I described her as having a "gentle southern drawl.". She is obviously hugely rich and successful but unlike Casey she will not let her accent be influenced. She remembers her roots.

Daniel (the only fanfic featured OC I didn't draw for the pride thing) is also really important but... I guess I just imagined whatever "American kid" voice my brain thought of when writing him. I'll have to think about teen/adult Daniel!

I'm sure I'll be ridiculous enough to give all the Saints' kids voices eventually 😅

[practically-an-x-man]

OC x Canon for... my favorites

Peter/Robin, Kyle/Jasper, Corinthian/Prometheus

4, 6, 7, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 20

Ooh thank you!!!! Can't wait to dive into this!!

4. Who embarrasses the other in public with kisses and pet names?

Kyle and Corinthian definitely, in their respective pairs. But for Peter and Robin, I feel like they're both viable candidates. I mean, he's obviously super goofy and confident, but she's also a theatre nerd and basically incapable of embarrassment because of it. So I think they're both equally likely, they just pick their moments.

6. What small quirks do they love about each other?

Robin loves to watch Peter tinker, whether it's just messing with whatever's in his hands or genuinely making something. Peter loves that she hums or sings under her breath when she's focused, and doesn't always realize she's doing it.

Jasper loves Kyle's penchant for chain texting, since it feels like they get to read his thoughts. Kyle loves that whenever they get really deep into a bout of bantering, Jasper will bump him with their hip like they're trying to derby-check him. They never do it hard enough to knock him down, and he thinks it's cute

Prometheus loves the way the Corinthian's accent thickens when he's talking through a lot of emotion - well, they love his accent in general, but it has a habit of getting more pronounced when he's thinking hard about something. And the Corinthian loves the way Prometheus always drifts back to his side when they walk together.

7. Who makes the other laugh more?

Corinthian, Kyle, and Peter (which feels cheap to say all the canon characters, but I find humor a very attractive quality so this is definitely one of the trends in my writing)

12. Who's more protective?

I think they're all equally protective of each other, but in different ways. Like, Kyle's very protective of Jasper when they run into a queerphobe, but Jasper's more protective of Kyle once he "comes back". Prometheus is protective of everybody, that's just their nature, but Corinthian is very protective of them against other nightmares or even Dream himself. Robin is fiercely protective of her family, but Peter's protective of her when she gets hurt or insulted. If that makes sense?

14. Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

Well, technically all of Prometheus & Corinthian's adventures are 3AM adventures, they're dreams. So that doesn't really count.

I think Robin and Peter would just walk the grounds outside the mansion, enjoying the stars and how calm it is when all of the students are asleep

Kyle and Jasper... don't go out at 3AM. It's New Orleans, that's not exactly the safest course of action unless they're with a big group.

16. How do they hype each other up?

Music. So much music.

17. Who picks flowers for the other?

For Prometheus and Corinthian, I think the objective word is picks flowers. Corinthian would give them flowers as a romantic gesture, but Prometheus is more likely to just reach over and pick a wildflower and press it into his hand on a whim.

Kyle, because he loves the way even those little things make Jasper smile

Robin, because Peter's usually going too fast to notice the flowers. Peter's also the most likely, if said flower were tucked jokingly behind his ear, to leave it there and wear it with pride.

18. Which one wears the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt?

Cop-out answer but none of them? I don't like the idea of people disparaging their significant others, even jokingly. There's a difference between banter about a stupid moment and just calling someone stupid, even as a joke. And none of them are even close to stupid, though they don't all have the same types of intelligence.

20. Who infodumps and who listens with heart eyes?

Peter infodumps about his favorite bands and whatever he's tinkering with. He talks a lot, and the only time Robin stops him is to ask him to speak slower or sign so she can keep up. Robin infodumps about opera/music stuff whenever a new show approaches, and Peter listens avidly.

Kyle likes to infodump about engineering, and usually talking helps him work through a tricky problem. Jasper hardly understands it, but they stay engaged and ask him to explain what they don't understand. Jasper gets very excited about music the same way, and Kyle adds all the albums they ramble about to his to-be-listened list so he can share the excitement

Prometheus and Corinthian... I honestly don't know. He doesn't really get to express a lot of interest in hobbies, so I don't know what he'd be passionate about. And for Prometheus, they usually don't slow down long enough to find a real hobby they're passionate about.

[rengoku-tiredtimes]

hello! if requests are open, then i have one for you!

hcs of genya shinazugawa with a child!reader (platonic) where genya saved the child from a demon and the child locked on to him and literally claimed him as his father. now the child is following him like a duckling all around n calling him dad, refusing to leave him alone, grabbing his leg and sitting on his foot to try and stop him from leaving for a mission, etc. do whatever you want!

hope you have a good day/night!

Father Figure

Please do not repost my work/ideas on other websites!

[̲̅N][̲̅o][̲̅t][̲̅e][̲̅s]

I did what he did after saving you, reaction to you calling him Papa, some reactions from other slayers, and things you two do together! Thank you for being my first request Dear <3 [Gn! Reader]

Genya Shinazugawa

Once he saved you he decided to take you to a nearby Healing Place for demon slayers [Forgot what they're called lmao]

But he'd have you stay with him in the same room, the doctors bringing Genya some child close and toys

Specifically a little Duckling Plushie for you

Once he and you are all healed, he tried to take you back to the village he thought you were from

But once he got there, and asked around, he figured out that you didn't live there

Or you didn't have any family that lived there

So deciding to take you to the orphanage, Genya began to make his way toward it

But the thing was

Once he got there

He wasn't able to get you off of his leg

Resulting in him just taking you back to the compound, specifically the Butterfly Estate so he could get some help

And on the way back, he had noticed you clinging to him and trying to copy his movements

It warmed his heart so much-

Genya let out a sigh, staring down at your pouting form. "Y/n, I have to go on this mission."

"NO!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he muttered something under his breath. Reaching down, he grabbed the back of your shirt and tried to pry you off of his leg.

Keyword tried.

"Y/n I'm going to be late!"

"I. Don't. Care!"

Tears welled up in your eyes as you clung to his leg tighter.

"I want Papa to stay with me!"

It got quiet as you said that, Genya tensing up. Looking up at him cautiously, you saw a bright blush on his face as steam came out of his ears—his eyes swirled as he slumped sideways.

"KYAAAAAA—PAPAS TURNED PINK!!"

Now when Sanemi found out

Oh boy

He was so confused for a second like

"Did I miss something?" "When did you get a girlfriend-" "Was it a one-time thing?" "What the fuck iS HAPPENING-"

After he got his shit together [and Genya explained] he tck-ed and walked away

You just stared confused for a second before asking

"Whos he? He doesn't seem very nice"

Genya just stayed quiet and picked you up, walking away

Rengoku and Mitsuri love you to bits

When they first met you Mitsuri yelled about how cute you are and smuggled you with so much love [poor Genya was shocked]

While Rengoku questioned Genya on some things, making him answer him shyly [sweet baby :( <3]

Spoiling you with food and toys non-stop

Genya has to stop them, but it fails cause his voice is so small and scared :(

He's terrified and confused cause why are the hashira talking to him-

But then Mitsuri told him to come over for dinner and he just

Genya.ex has stopped working

Poor baby is overwhelmed with anxiety and shit

But he goes anyways cause you looked so happy :(

"Thank you again for inviting us over Kanroji-Sama" Genya said quietly, not looking the pillar in the eyes.

"Of course! You and Y/n are welcome anytime!" Mitsuri responded, setting another plate of food on the table.

She had made a whole buffet for dinner, obviously really excited to have you and Genay over. It looked really good.

"Thank you Ms. 'Anroji!" Pronouncing her last name was a bit hard for you. But it always brought a huge smile to her face.

"KYAAA YOU'RE SO CUTEEEE~!!"

Now when Genya has free time, he always hangs out with you

Taking you shopping, to get food, teaching you how to swim, etc.

It doesn't matter where you go or what you two do, he just loves hanging out with you

However, you won't go anywhere with Mr. Fluff, the duck you got when he first saved you

It goes everywhere with you and it is absolutely adorable

It has tea parties with you, where Genya is also attending [where you do his makeup and hair]

Painting sessions with you, where Genya has to wash Mr. Fluff the Duck after [He also hangs up the paintings in the house]

"PAPA!"

Jumping up from the couch, Genya rushed towards your room—gun in hand. Had something happen to you? Why did you yell? Fear was in your voice when you yelled-What happened?

Bursting into your room, finger on tricker he yelled. "What happened?! Are you ok?!"

The room was quiet, the only thing heard was your sniffles.

"Mr. Fluff the Duck got paint on him" You whimpered.

Genya choked on his air, falling to his side comedically.

[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Divided I Fall

IT'S FINALLY DONE! I am so sorry this took so fucking long, it took me like a year to write because my art brain forcibly took over my body for a stupid amount of time but now it is DONE and you can SEE it with your EYEBALLS. Anyway... This, This is a project I have been planning for YEARS but took some stuff lining up just right for it to sift to the top of my oneshot backlog. It is, to keep it simple and not spoil too much, an origin story for a character that's shown up in my stuff before.

As one important note before I begin... This fic stars a character of a fakemon species known as Vahirom, created by @kynimdraws on Tumblr/kyleenim on Twitter, used with permission. If you steal it I will be offended on her behalf and personally boil your toes. Got it?

ANYWAY:

Divided I Fall

Zygarde had a dilemma.

Unova had too many humans and they had it too good. But there was nothing they could do to thwart them without letting the other Legends in on his game. What to do?

As they stewed on this, lurking on the edge of civilization, they looked up, and there they saw it.

A meteor, careening down toward the nearby hills. It crashed, sending out sparks of light and a shockwave, which Zygarde weathered easily. They were a god, after all.

"Lots of those since AZ broke the sky," they muttered.

They slithered through the earth until they got to the impact crater, emerging in its center to find, surprise surprise, a meteor. However, it was one they could tell was a Metionite, a kind made of an extremely rare, alien ore.

It was then they got an idea.

An awful idea.

Zygarde got a wonderful, awful idea.

They started burrowing their own cells into the Metionite, pumping it full of energy. Godly energy. Draconic energy. The Meteonite contracted and curved until it turned into a small gray orb.

Zygarde tapped it.

And it burst to life.

--------

What am I?

What is this place?

Those were my first thoughts as I gazed around, wide-eyed, until my eyes fell on a strange green and black titan.

"Who are you? Who am I?"

"I am Zygarde, the guardian of order, and you are my creation!" the titan said in a booming voice.

"You created me?"

"Yes! For one purpose!"

The titan pointred a claw to the southwest. "There's an infestation of these pests called humans around thataway. Deal with them for me."

I looked in that direction. Seemed simple enough.... But something didn't feel right.

"...Very well."

Tubes extended from my shoulders and attached to my tail as my wings flared. I took off.

-------

I arrived to find strange structures,domes, blocks and pyramids, and walking among them strange creatures. Were these the humans Zygarde mentioned? "Deal with them." What did that even mean?

I got closer and as I did they started acting strangely. They seemed... Afraid?

"You creatures! What are you?"

They were making loud screams now. They didn't seem less afraid. Maybe they couldn't understand me? How DO I talk to them then? Come on, think think think-

~-Think!~

Thehumans stopped, gazed up. I had communicated by... Thinking really hard?

~Uh... Humans! I mean you no harm! I just wish to... Deal with you!~

The humans started murmuring among each other before a more elaborate-looking human came forth.

"You, great dragon! What do you propose as a deal?"

Oh, I can understand THEM fine. But good question...

~Let me think.~

What do I even tell this person? I guess... If they were afraid of me, they had other things to be afraid of. That wasn't good. Maybe...

"If you give me shelter and a home, I will aid you however I can. Is that a satisfactory deal?"

The elaborate human slowly blinked several times slowly before rapidly nodding.

":We will accept your offer... B=but my warriors will keep an eye on you."

I looked to the "warrior" humans he spoke of. They were trembling. Everyone was looking at me with unease,

This would take some adjusting.

-------------

I was in my own corner of the city, surrounded by more of these warriors. They were taking shifts watching me, but they all seemed scared. Almost as if they felt if I tried anything they couldn't stop me.

I didn't feel like doing anything that needed stopping... but then I wasn't sure WHAT to do. I had made the deal with the humans but I wasn't sure how to enact i-

Just then I heard a roar, in the distance. The warriors looked to me, then to the source of the sound. They seemed confused that it wasn't me. Soon another warrior rushed up to them.

"T-there's a Scolipede trying to take over the farmland!"

"O-one of those? Why?"

"They're immensely territorial! It claimed the farms as its own!"

What was this beast? The humans needed help. But they wouldn't let me help...

...Then again they couldn't stop me.

I activated my tail turbine and lifted off as the warriors panicked, and I jetted off to where the other warrior had came from.

---------

When I arrived there was indeed a large, purple, insectoid Pokémon rampaging about. Several warriors and their Pokémon were trying to pierce its chitinous armor, to no avail. It was much bigger than the humans, that's for sure.

...But it was much smaller than me.

I flew ove4r to and landed right in front of it. It looked up but seemed unphased.

"What do YOU want?"

"I want you to stop bothering these humans."

"Why should I? This is MY turf." "No it's not. As far as I can tell the humans were here first." "Well it's mine now."

I narrowed my eyes. "Leave. Now."

The Scolipede scoffed. "Make me."

"If you insist."

I flicked him with a claw.

He went sailing back into a tree with a very loud thud and collapsed, unconscious.

Humans started gathering around, looking on in awe. Then they started cheering. It was only then I realized the magnitude of what I'd done.

-------------

Things changed after that rather quickly. Or, they did from my perspective anyway.

The humans, after that, regarded me as a protector. Not only that, they gave me authority. It wasn't much at first, I started as captain of the warrior, but as time went on and I helped the humans more and more I ascended to the right-hand mon of their rulers.

They called me Vahirom, or more commonly, the Iron Arbiter.

They adored me. And I grew to adore them. They cared for me and I cared for them back. And after time things changed. I learned how to alter my form to be like them.

It started simply, firsty with mimicking their speech, but then I started to learn how to alter my physical form, this way and that way, until I had come to resemble them in my own way. It was at that point the Iron Arbiter was both a dragon Pokémon and a human.

And someone didn't like that at all.

One day they returned, while I was alone, sitting on the throne the humans built for me. I looked up into their glowing green eyes as they glared down into mine.

"What is THIS? This isn't what you were supposed to be doing! And why do you LOOK like them?" They stomped a foot on the ground.

I sighed. "It is less intimidating to them than my natural draconic form. And why do YOU look like them? Don't you have forms that are oh so superior?" They winced, and in an instant cells swirled around them to return them to a more traditional serpentine form. "Only to subvert them, manipulate them. You do it for sick kicks! You were supposed to DESTROY them, not help them!"

"There is no need to destroy them. They are flawed yes, but have kindness and charity in their hearts if you know where to find it. I seek to bring that out in them. "You're wrong! All humans are a sin against the natural order! MY order! They need to be purged!"

"Your view is dangerous. And I will not have you threaten my people."

I grew and stretched and bent into my true, draconic form.

"You may have given me life, but I am not yours. They are not yours. Leave, or I will force you to."

Zygarde hesitated, then let out a long, pronounced hisss before disintegrating into cells and vanishing.

I sighed again, then resumed my post.

-----------

Decades passed, that turned into centuries. I saw many humans and their Pokémon come and go, and cherished them all dearly while they lasted.

But then one day two were born that would change my life forever, for better and for worse.

They were twins, born to the current queen and king. They were shown to me soon after they were born. They were lumpy and chubby as human babies were but they had fire and lightning in their eyes from the start.

And thus their parents named them Tentay and Pethakhon, Ancient Unova's words for fire and lightning. As usual, I was assigned to be their guardian. I did not realize then how special they would be to me - and how that would be my downfall.

-------------

The children grew quickly. Their tiny grasping hands grew inquisitive, groping for anything they could reach. At first, I let them pull and tug at my human form, but as they grew older and nimbler I allowed them to play on my dragon form as well.

Eventually they started to talk.

"Say mama!" "Say dada!" their parents clamored. But every time they both pointed at me and said "va va!"

They didn't care. They just laughed.

When they got old enough to learn, I was their teacher. I taught them.... Well, not everything I knew, I was too ancient and powerful for that, but I tried to teach them a good amount. And I definitely tried to answer their many questions.

"How old are you?" asked Tentay. "Older than you can comprehend."

"What's your favorite food?" asked Pethakhon.

"I do love corn cakes."

"Do your parents let you stay up past bedtime?" asked Tentay.

I had to pause and think about that one. My only "parents" were Zygarde and the stars, so...

"I don't listen to my parents. I do what I want."

The twins gasped and looked at each other eagerly. "You can DO that?" they said. I chuckled. "I can. You probably shouldn't until you get older."

The two visibly deflated.

"Not fair..." said Pethakhon.

"I guess we have to listen..." said Tentay.

"No way! We can't!" said Pethakhon. "But we gotta! Or we'll get in trouble!"

"Nuh-uh! We can do it!

I chuckled. By all means this was amusing.

And yet. Something deep inside felt off.

------------

It came suddenly, swiftly.

The king and queen fell ill, from a terrible disease. They were isolated, only taken care of by a select few.

It was too little, too late.

A grand funeral was held, several ceremonies, a feast, a fitting sendoff. But none of it filled the hole in all our hearts.

Especially not the twins'.

I visited their room afterwards., They were huddled in a corner together, curled up, sitting only a few inches apart. In human form to fit in the room, I pulled them into an embrace.

"I know better than to say it's all right, but... I am here for you."

"But... Mom and dad... They're gone forever," said Tentay.

"They're never coming back... What's gonna happen to us?" said Pethakhon.

I sighed. "I have seen many leave forever just as they did. I can escape it, it is both a gift and a curse, but for your kind it is inevitable. But it is not truly the end. You two will grow to be great, and your children, and your children's children, and so on. I assure you of this. You can pick up the pieces and carry on in their stead. They would want you to."

"...Okay, Va." said Pethakon.

"...I guess so, Va," said Tentay.

They nestled into my arms further. I patted their heads.

We stayed that way a while.

--------------

The two started to near adulthood for their kind, and thus I started teaching them how to rule. . ~Now, you two, I have a question.~

They both shifted in their seats in the courtyard we were in. Teenagers were antsy about being taught. Especially when their teacher was an ancient and powerful dragon.

~Say that there is a famine. What are your main options for dealing with such a thing?~

"Simple," said Tentay. "You spend the royal budget on improving the crops."

~Ah, but such a solution would be expensive... And could be unsustainable."~

"Then we improve the harvest infrastructure over time!" said Pethakhon enthusiastically.

~Yet that could take a long time. Too long. People could starve.~

"Well my method is clearly better!" said Tentay. "It gets more immediate results!"

"You're wrong!" said Pethakhon. "MY plan won't doom us all later!" "It MIGHT not. It will definitely make people starve."

"We have to consider the future!" "The future is NOW, Pethakhon."

"Moron!"

"Imbecile!"

The two continued arguing like this until they finally noticed me waggling a claw mockingly.

~Now now now. Have you considered these solutions aren't mutually exclusive?"

The two of them stared at me. Then started sheepishly rubbing their heads.

"You have a point..." said Tentay. "That could work.." said Pethakhon.

~See?" I said. "If you work against each other nothing gets done. But if you work together...~

"Yes, we understand the moral, well done," said Pethakhon. "Why must we learn things we know already?" said Tentay.

~Because with you two it bears repeating.~

The two blinked and staredbefore rubbing their heads sheepishly again.

"...You have a point," said Tentay.

"We'll. We'll work on it.." said Pethakhon.

I simply smirked.

------------

They quickly became adults, true kings of Unova, and soon their first test was upon them. The ruler of a desert kingdom smack dab in the middle of Unova was a Volcarona by the name of Heliana. Shee was called before them for a diplomatic meeting, and we all assembled on the border between the desert and greener land.

"Why hello there!" said Heliana, floating before us.

Tentay and Pethakhon stared then turned to me, each whispering.

"She, uh, is a little hard to--" Pethakhon started to say.

"She's a Pokémon, but she can't speak telepathically, so we can't understand her," said Tentay.

"...That." said Pethakhon.

I chuckled. ~Don't worry, I can translate. She just says hi.~

The two nodded and turned back to Heliana.

"Right, hello," said Pethakhon.

"Shall we get down to business?" said Tentay.

"Oh, yes, yes!" said Heliana. "There was a matter of grave importance I wished to speak of with you! It was... Oh, hm, what was it..."

"She isn't very professional," Tentay whispered.

"Shhh!" said Pethakhon, nudging him.

"Oh! I remember now! It was wood!" said Heliana.

"Wood?" said Pethakhon. "My kingdom doesn't exactly have many trees," said Heliana. "I want cedar in particular! I'll offer you our finest textiles and minerals in return!":

"Hmmm. But we need the cedar for-"

"Shhh!" said Pethakhon. "She's making us a great offer!"

"More like a ridiculous one. We can't give her all that cedar!" "But we need the minerals and textiles!"

"She hasn't even specified WHAT minerals and textiles! Think before you leap!" "Well ask her!"

"Fine!"

Tentay took a deep breath and looked Heliana straight in the compound eyes. "You're being awfully vague about what those "minerals" and "textiles" are... Could you be more specific?"

"Oh! Lots of iron, copper... and Silk! Me and my babies spun the silk ourselves!"

"Wait, the silk comes from-" Tentay started to say.

"Sounds great!" said Pethakhon. We'll-"

"No. We need that cedar."

~Now now you two.~ I said. ~Put your heads together. Your wants and needs aren't mutually exclusive.~

They stared. And blinked. And... Well they didn't literally put their heads together but they did start mutually putting their hands to their chins thinking.

"There's some places we could grow... Cedar groves?" said Tentay.

"Yes! And we could loan those groves out to you!" said Pethakhon.

"They would take a while to grow normally but our Grass-types can make them grow faster!" said Tentay.

"Excellent!" said Heliana. "It's a deal! And Hekla and Katla will get started on the silk straight away!"

"Hekla and Katla?" said Pethakhon.

"Who?" said Tentay.

It was then two Larvesta emerged from Heliana's fuzz and divetackled Tentay and Pethakhon each with cries of "Friend! Friend! Friend!"

"My children!" said Heliana. "They spin the finest silk in all the land!"

"Well they sure are cute," said Pethakhon, holding up Hekla to get a good look at her.

"Easy little one," said Tentay, cradling Katla.

I just smiled.

---------------

I was in my throne room, and human again. I was alone, and it was quiet... until I heard a telltale slithering again.

"...Hello Zygarde."

The serpent congeals in a flash from their cells before me.

"You're still doing this. Why are you still doing this."

"They appreciate my help. And they are clearly better in my hands than yours."

The snake withed, their form rippling.

"Look, if you can't stop yourself from messing MY order up, I WILL."

I scoffed. "How?"

"You're awfully fond of those two humans, aren't you?"

My eyes widened. I clenched my fingers on my seat. "...Petty threats will get you nowhere."

"Oooh, I struck a nerve, didn't I? Don't worry, I won't do anything to them... Physically anyway. Unless you try to warn them that is, in which case I can always arrange an accident...."

I shifted to dragon form, knocking several things over in the process. "What are you planning, Zygarde?"

"How does the saying go, something something for me to know and you to find out?"

I roared and slashed at them with a claw, but before I made contact they scattered into cells and disappeared from whence they came. Guards rushed into the room shortly after. "Arbiter! Is everything all right?"

I panted heavily, looking at where Zygarde had gone, before turning to the guard.

~It's... It's fine. Just spooked by a shadow.~

--------------

From there it became apparent something was very quickly going wrong.

It started small at first. The brothers being more snippy with each other than they were before. But it soon blew up into full-on arguments, and everything I had raised them to do was falling apart before my eyes.

I knew exactly why.

I stalked the halls of the castle until I found a hound, ducking and weaving through the corridors.

"You!"

The hound stopped, looking smug. "What is it?"

"What are you doing to them?"

"Oh nothing much. A lie about one here, a rumor about the other there, did you realize exactly how easy it is to turn them against each other?"

"How... How dare you!"

I fired a metallic burst, a small-scale version of my Origin Flare, but they were already gone, and the brilliant beams of light only sank into the corridor, reducing chunks of it to rubble.

It was then I panicked. As long as Zygarde could keep spreading their lies...

...There was nothing I could do.

------------

Soon enough came a day that would come down in history as a fateful one.

The two of them were having a particularly heated, particularly philosophical argument about the future of the kingdom. Said argument was happening in the throne room, right in front of me, a dragon silently watching as their two human charges escalated to potential civil war right before their eyes.

"Do you really think your deluded visions would ever lead this kingdom to greatness?" said Tentay, "Your ideals will only bring ruin!"

"Your plan is built on a flawed foundation," said Pethakhon, "and faulty delusions of truth!"

It was becoming all too clear for me.

They would not reconcile this time.

I would have to choose one.

...But I couldn't.

I couldn't possibly-

One side of me wanted one. Another wanted the other.

But I couldn't choose.

I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't I couldn-

CRACK

-------------

When I awoke, I could not move. I had reverted to the God Stone I use to sleep and could not get out.

But I could see everything. I could see Tentay and Pethakhon beholding two dragons that I quickly realized had split off from me, by sheer will to leave neither one behind. I could also see I had rolled off to the side, where no one could see me.

But if those two pieces of me were out there... What was the rest of me doing in here?

As I wondered this I witnessed the argument between the two brothers escalate further, and eventually they stormed out of the room.

Time passed. Day turned into night. Then the serpent came.

"Well well well, that was an entertaining show. I knew your powers were unstable but I never expected them to do THAT. Oh well, it works out for me plenty - those two idiots you were so protective of will decimate humanity by their actions, and those bits of you that spawned for them will only help.

I wriggled in my prison, trying desperately to escape and put Zygarde in their place. They noticed and chuckled.

"Oh how foolish. Don't try too hard to escape dear. You don't know what schisming off so much of your power has done to you."

Their form rippled.

"And besides. It's too late for you. I've already won."

He gave a hearty, echoing laugh as he dissipated into cells and disappeared.

----------

Throughout the night, I continued to wriggle and squirm. I HAD to fix this, I HAD to prove Zygarde wrong, I HAD to-

And then I broke free.

And then I felt it.

I could tell I was not the being I used to be. I felt weak. I felt empty. There was a gnawing hunger and emptiness at the bottom of my soul that I could not overcome.

I staggered through the hallways of the castle, in confusion and pain, when I came upon two guards, who recoiled at my approach.

"H-Halt! What monstrous kind of P-Pokémon are you?" said one.

I looked at that guard. And I hungered. The emptiness gnawed at me as I yearned for something to fill it.

I lunged.

The other guard screamed as my fangs sunk into his compatriot. I started devouring him, purely by instinct, rending flesh from bones.

"M-Monster! Monster!"

It is then I snapped back to my senses and realized exactly what I was doing.

I tried to say, "Wait, no, you don't understand!" but all it came out as was staticky buzzing. Then the guard fled.

Overwhelmed with grief, shock, and horror, it was then I did the same, leaving the tall pyramid castle I had called my home for centuries and never turning back.

-----------

I holed up in the crater I had first crash-landed in from thereon out, never emerging. Still, I saw many things.

I saw Unova burnt by a deluge of fire and electricity.

I saw Unova rebuild, become more technologically advanced, more close totheir Pokémon, then further away, then closer again.

I saw people settle the area where I lived, and grow to fear me as others had.

I saw one bit of kindness from a boy from those people.

I saw the white dragon that split from me return, join with me once more, filling my emptiness but causing her unbearable pain that racked me with guilt.

I saw all this, but one thing remained the same, for the most part.

I was alone. And I was unsure if that would ever truly change.

So all I could do was mourn all I had lost.

***

Bit of a downer, huh. But I hope you enjoyed it! WILL Kyurem's situation get better? We'll have to find out later - I've got other shit I've really got to get to writing.

[ask-classicdreams]

Uh so. Masterpost I guess. Here's my ideas. They're all shit, but here ya go.

--while the void attempted to recreate dreamtale as the classic universe, dreamtale has a wildly smaller amount of resources to work with. therefore in putting dreamtales code into the classic universe, it just turned basically everything into apples since that's the focus of dreamtale. so, toriel and flowey are apples.

--dream is in papyrus's role and instead of cooking spaghetti and such, he cooks everything out of apples since there's such an abundant supply of them. the underground is located underneath an apple orchard.

--nightmare is in sans's role, and he hates apples. instead of the classic "burn in hell" genocide quote, nightmare just sighs and flips dream's cape-hood-thing up. after a pause and some shifting, he just says "i fucking hate apples." before fucking you up

--after the first hit when you deny his mercy, dream basically says 'fuck you' to the script and goes apeshit. if you somehow survive that, he turns into your passive aggressive narrator. (eg. "woshua steps in! you're gonna slaughter him in cold blood aren't you, you f-") him and chara have fights over the flavor text rules.

--when nightmare dies, there isn't any blood or anything. just a sigh and nightmare going "heh, well. guess that's over. dream, i think i'll try that apple pie now." there is no whoosh sound either, just a thud.

--dream's outfit is underswap sans's down to a T. the only difference is that dream's is in a shade of yellow. dream's first words when prompted are "wait isn't this just underswap sans's--" but gets kicked in the teeth by annoying apple, the substitute for annoying dog. nightmare's first words are "patrick noise. wait fuck i can't say that--ererererer" but instead of saying the text tone noise, he pronounced the letters.

--instead of his circlet, dream wears a plastic cinderella tiara with himself scribbled over cinderella in black marker. nightmare stole it to draw a mustache on it at some point. eg:

--nightmare's outfit is gross, goopy sweatpants that was once an unidentified color. they have the walmart logo down each side of them. his shirt is black, obviously. but he's wearing the Official Patented Sans Jacket, the one with sans's face on the zipper? it's somehow untouched by all of the goop. pristine condition. his slippers are black and fluffy with google eyes on them which dream calls his goopshoes.

--frisk n chara are still humans.

--when you look in dream's fridge, all you see is apple products. look closer, and you'll start to see the apple meat, apple stomach, apple feet. you decide to close the fridge.

--toriel is another apple. whenever she has to move, she politely asks you to leave the room. nothing progresses until you do. once you move, theres obvious slide marks on the floor where toriel once was.

--when you kill her in genocide, you get the apple. if you decide to go back into toriel's house, you have the option to make apple pie.

--muffet's place is Whole Grains Fruits and Vegetables For A Super Low Price! (no exceptions or abbreviations, you have to type it out in full every single time) the Whole Grains Fruits and Vegetables For A Super Low Price! fight is just. shopping cart. upon further inspection, it's an applebys shopping cart but you don't know how because applebys is a restaurant, not a supermarket. the joke is that nightmare stole it.

(*There's goop on the handlebars. You wonder what Nightmare wanted with a shopping cart.)

dream, if you call him at the dump: oh yeah! nighty always wanted to go to the surface so he could try something other than apples! it seems we're right under an apple orchard, so we mostly get apple-centric foods.

my boy wanted to keep it but dream talked him out of it (unless it's true pacifist, go into his room after the barrier breaks and it's in the place sans's treadmill would be. he'll be sitting on his bed when you walk in.)

when prompted nightmare says:

nm: what? a guy can't dream?

frisk: dream of what

nm: my brother, dream of the underground [sans wink]

frisk: no what about the shopping cart?

nm: what's a shopping cart?

[dialogue box disappears, shortcut sound plays, shopping cart is gone]

go underneath the sink and it's in there though, with frantic scuff marks on the ground. seems like the wheel got stuck halfway down.

--the neutral fight is a giant apple with eyes. nightmare is with you for some reason, showing clear disgust because it looks like you'd have to eat all of it. but, frisk just throws their dora the explorer light-up sneakers at the apple's googly eyes. when the eyes come off, you get the apple.

(you're supposed to put it on nightmare's bed. during the phone call, at the end, he says "oh by the way i got your gift. fuck you." and hangs up.)

--everybody else is statues.

--if you give nightmare the apple directly it starts a dating sequence that only lasts a few seconds before he bodily picks you up and chucks you at the barrier. you faceplant on the other side. he likes throwing you around, if you come back to the bridge between snowdin and the ruins after killing dream, he picks you ups and throws you off of it.

--at the end of genocide, instead of chara appearing it's just nightmare but 80x taller than frisk.

--they have a pet frog named phenylcyclohexyl piperidine. when asked, dream will say "oh nightmare named her! i don't know what it means though..." you have the choice to tell him "it's a drug" or "ask him later". if you choose "it's a drug" dream will nod solemnly and stay quiet.

if you choose to tell dream to ask night about it, the next time you see dream he'll say "nightmare told me what it means! im so glad our frog is an angel :))"

--during nightmare's fight, in the middle of his strongest attack, you get an award titled "congrats! you've been distracted!" and he immediately throws a sequence of attacks faster than you can dodge if you were distracted. if you click on it, it says "nightmare kicked your ass, didn't he? hah."

--when night uses his magic a giant fuckoff apple tree bursts out of the ground behind him that he normally uses to hide in (which is how he dodges) and his apple soul forms and hides in the branches. you have to aim for it to win.

--instead of bullets apples get thrown at you (main reason frisk flirts with everyone, throwing an apple at someone's face in ancient greece normally substituted for a marriage proposal).

--everythings gone to shit both apple brother's have a blatant disrespect for the script and the game changed every time you play it. eventually, if played too much, the game will bluescreen and you'll have to turn your monitor on and off.

Yeah, that's probably it.

[beelsfeels]

A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)

Picrew 1 Picrew 2

Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)

Age: 27

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5′6″

Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.

Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.

Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.

Relationships with the brothers:

Lucifer:

- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.

- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.

- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.

- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.

- it was the latter

- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.

- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.

- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"

- listen up, Morningstar

- "What did you just call me?"

- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::

Mammon:

- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.

- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.

- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor

- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive

- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.

- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.

- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.

- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"

- they never do

- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.

Leviathan

-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::

-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"

-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games

-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.

-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.

-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.

-what that tail do?

-"please stop asking me that"

Satan

-fast burn enemies to lovers

-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.

-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"

-Not Today, Satan

-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"

-Hail Satan!

-Turns into her closest confidant

-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights

-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem

-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like

-she respects his personal space

-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.

-cat memes back and forth 24/7

-Her actual "first demon" 😉

-"You little brat" (that is a threat)

-she loves it

Asmodeus

- gossip girls

- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails

- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea

- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful

- Satan learned that the hard way

- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much

- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out

- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.

- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance

- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"

- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!

- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"

- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them

- has never worked once

Beel

- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom

- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her

- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me

- can't believe that worked

- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected

- that night beel became her second demon 😉

- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals

- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)

- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for

- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)

- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"

- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"

- I love you, my sweet Himbo.

Belphie

-Belphi take me to Majolish

-"No, I'm tired."

-Remember that one time you literally killed me

-"okay I'll be there in 5"

-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie

-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.

-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once

-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.

BONUS:

Diavolo

- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

- teaches him all the latest memes and dances

- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.

- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides

- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.

- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.

- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...

- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom

Solomon

- ::stranger danger siren goes off::

- I don't trust you Wizard boy

- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister

- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.

- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands

Things Shoshi has said without context:

"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"

"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"

"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"

"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"

"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"