#i have no clue if im in a mood bc of . or if im actually feeling pissed off and upset right now

[incomprehensiblegiberish]

am i the only one who doesn't see purpose in the cycle of work for more work to do more work so that you can earn more work? why should i fucking try if my only reward is getting more work and maybe a "good job keep working". i am. fucking tired.

[savventeen]

hmm savv what would u do with mutual pining and woozi? :3c

daisy,,, beloved,,,,,,,,,, how dare you make me think about mutual pining w/ woozi ( /hj ) (i am already pining for him and thinking abt MUTUAL pining is going to drive me actually insane methinks g o d sdkjflskjdf)

ok so. SO. after vibrating in my seat and fantasizing abt lying down in the middle of the floor for the rest of time as i think about this concept, i have come to the following conclusion: mixtapes. and i mean in the classic "hey i made you this mixtape" sense

reader and jihoon are both producers for the same label and don't really interact that much at first. in fact, they don't actually even meet for the first time until soonyoung invites them both to his birthday party and they start talking shop, bonding over teasing soonyoung, and then ending the night with a promise to grab lunch together sometime.

fast forward a couple of months and they are officially Friends. they've managed to start a tradition of getting lunch together once a week and bitching about various work bullshit, and they've also started to hang out together in group settings after realizing they have more mutual friends as well

reader is the first one to send jihoon a song. it's a few hours after their weekly vent session, jihoon having taken up most of the time complaining about shitty higher-ups giving ridiculous deadlines and stuck-up idol wannabes trying to tell him how to do his job without having a clue about what his job actually is, and he gets a message from reader that says "i feel like this fits ur current mood" with a link to a song. [cw the song linked has a somewhat startling gun sound] he clicks on the link, curious, and then bursts out laughing after a few confused moments of listening bc that was NOT what he was expecting, at all

and that's how it starts, really. a few days later, he sends reader a song with the caption "how much u wanna bet soonyoung would choreograph something to this just bc it has the word 'tiger' in the title" / "no bet he absolutely would" / "ur no fun :P" / "sorry can't hear you i'm sending it to soonyoung as we speak"

pretty soon they're sending songs back and forth almost daily "what are ur thoughts on this" / "?? i don't speak french" / "and?" / "...ok yeah this is p good" "is this kinda close to the vibe you're trying to get for that one group you're working with?" / "not quite. but that's ok bc IM Vibin with this one" "i need u to stop whatever ur doing and listen to this with the bassist bass you can get with w/ ur setup" / "ok??" ... "holy shit" / "RIGHT?"

fast forward another couple of months, and reader shows up to jihoon's studio with a can of coke zero and a flash drive. "what's this?" / "this, my dear woozi-ssi, is going to be the solution to our creative blocks" and then reader goes on to explain their idea: they both have tracks that they're stuck on (personal, professional, or otherwise), and so they're gonna 'sisterhood of the traveling pants this shit' ('i literally have no idea what you're talking about'). aka: reader put some files they're having trouble with on this flash drive, and jihoon's gonna add any notes/ideas he has and then give it back with some of his own trouble files on it. rinse and repeat

and not only does it work ("ohmygod i've been trying to figure out that bridge transition for DAYS THANK YOU") but it also becomes Their Thing. like, they're used to collaborating with other writers/producers/etc bc it comes with the job, but something about this silly little flash drive... feels Special. [*cough*it's because they're catching Feelings*cough*]

tHIS IS GETTING SO LONG FUCK OKAY other things i would include in this fic: - one noticing the other has been working on a lot more love songs lately (or maybe a lot more Sad (read: pining) love songs) - reader has a bad day at some point and they end up losing the flash drive and they have a breakdown over it (jihoon comforts them and also helps them find it we love emotional hurt/comfort in this household) - scenes where they're individually waxing poetic about the other to different friends and the friends are like "bro. ur in love with them" "uh, no? they just have a great work ethic and a great taste in music also their lyricism is just—" "you. are. in. love." "i admire them professionally!

AND THEN THE CONCLUSION!! one of them decides to bite the metaphorical bullet and confess their Feelings. this could be either of them, but i'm gonna go with jihoon bc i can. so of course he can't just say "hey i love you" like a normal person, he has to confess through music. so he goes out and buys a new flash drive (with a really cute cover bc he knows they'd like it) and puts two folders on there. the first folder is full of instrumental files and is titled "all the times i couldn't find the words". and the second folder is titled "and all the times i could" and it's all love songs he's written inspired by/for reader

he sneaks into their studio and leaves the flash drive on your desk while you're in a meeting, and then he Waits and waits and waits some more until it's time to go home and it's been total radio silence and his heart feels like it's been crushed. so he starts to head home in the rain (bc i am a cheesy bastard and love rainy confession scenes) but after a few minutes of walking he hears shouting behind him and he turns to see you sprinting at him while screaming his name and before he can get a word out you're clutching his shoulders, soaked to the bone and asking "do you mean it? the songs, did— do you really mean it?"

and all he can do is nod because his heart still hasn't quite found its way back to his chest yet, and then he can't nod anymore because you're kissing him. you're kissing him, and he drops the umbrella he was holding and you're both kissing in the rain bc you're both obnoxious helpless romantics and "y/n-ah, i mean it— i mean it. i love you"

"i love you too, you stupid romantic bastard oh my god"

"hey, you're the one who started kissing me in the rain"

and it ends like the cheesy romcom this turned into bc i couldn't help myself and i need to lie down in a puddle of feelings now k thx

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[morganinez]

tldr at the end i think this is pretty annoying to read idk its in red

normally i wouldn't send this kinda stuff but honestly the ever changing list of reasons you dislike/like having me interact is making it really hard to decide whether to send one of those character interaction things .

because if you're fine with me then it's good to send it because you want interactions and i like writing but if you don't like me then if i send it you'd just be irritated and i wouldn't be able to tell

because you obvs haven't confirmed or denied such things considering the list was made by my brain which i wrote down to try and rationalise

not trying to bring down your mood or anything just giving context for the question im about to ask

is it like weird or annoying or clingy if someone keeps like sending you stuff about morgan or just like interacting with you

i dont want to do that if it is you get what i mean

because it feels like you don't like me but at the same time it could be anxiety speaking and i don't want to like put assumptions on you

but at the same time i don't want to assume that you're fine with me and then have it turn out i've been annoying all this while

idk why i'm typing this because even if you did dislike me / my characters people don't usually just say that kinda stuff to people's faces

this is like the tenth? time i've revised this ask it should not be this long (very sorry for that /gen )

are there like interactions that annoy you so like i can avoid that i guess /genq

please like feel free to ignore this i mean something this long in your inbox is probably also pretty annoying i guess it just felt like i should clarify things but at the same time what if this makes me annoying

i should probably stop like revising this ask every time i do it i feel the need to clarify more like at first it really really formal but it felt too not genuine but if i send like this what if you can tell who i am and then think i'm making things up for pity points or something and what if you didn't dislike me but now you do because of this and its getting really long i am so sorry

TLDR: are there like any forms of interaction that annoy you like ,,. someone interacting with your blog too much or something because i'd like to avoid annoying you and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff that i don't dare to delete because what if you want the context to this question or something but

yeah please feel free to delete this or something i don't know i've been pondering over sending something like this for days who knows how long which may make me seem weird i don't know i just need to know if i should or shouldn't interact i guess ? sorry

i feel like this is like about some asks i haven’t replied to (or won’t reply to) so here are the reasons why i don’t

i have no clue how to reply (this is like … the major reason and the biggest reason)

some people have sent asks like their character & mine have interacted before… when they haven’t… so i dont reply to that bc… how will i when i dont know where their relationship stands ifykwim?

asks that just says “hi” or something along the lines of that .. IM SORRY I JUST ?? idk i don’t vibe w it bc i love interactions w flavour you know?

connected to number 1; i have no clue how to reply because i don’t get it (and maybe the reason why i don’t get it because the ask is like the one in number 2 or i’m just slow as fuck)

i guess that’s all ?? should’ve clarified that i’m more comfortable doing novella with people i know / morgan has an actual relationship with — if you want that, interact with her posts (then again, it didn’t mean i will reply because of the reasons above)

i do try to formulate replies but in the end it’s just turns into an ugly writing that i give up .

[loosingmoreletters]

(still the exact same anon expect me to keep haunting your blog every few days because i am an absolute sucker for this fandom and i am so sad there isn't more material. actually i could fix that but. sighs sadly. Maybe. One Day. I'm working on it but i am also working on 90 other things and it is night here and these things are due tomorrow)

wow. yeah. ship names. laughs awkwardly... normally i'd say if we wanted to keep it simple just like. character names smushed together? But i also adore the concept of. A thing that Represents each character that you can immediately tell is said character and those two things together as a ship name

but also im letting "Sword Daddy" (sugar daddy but in swords bc shin junseo. yun taeheon is also a sugar daddy he is giving shin junseo so much shit) sit in my mind. or "moneysaver". is it practical? no. will i regret it every time i have to look at the tag in the ship in the future because i think it's dumb? yes. is it funny? also yes. i have no clue but im shutting my brain up now its not giving me good information anymore. bye ill be back. soon.

I await your return like a swooning maiden hahaha

But also mood on the 70 other things I should be working on

Sword Daddy sudhdjb arguably they are each other’s sugar daddy. Very much. oh god train wreck crack AU where way before dungeons and everything Taeheon v much was Junseo’s sugar daddy and now you get the awkward “well we never dated but I do know what size suit you wear. so you. Want to pick up our old contract-ish” reunion

But yeah!! I also really like ship names that represent but I doubt we can push that in this day and era still

[streamdotpng]

i meant that bc of the streamer wednesday au

no clue it was based off of your lethal rizz 😭

(fr tho hope ur doing better)

lethal rizz😭

but yeah im doin better, been a handful of years since ive even interacted with them so im doing good

just know guys, yall aint responsible for another person's emotions even when yall dating. Their moods should not be dependent on whether or not you're there

its gucci to have time and space for yourself, healthy actually! so dont forget to be your on person when dating

aight psa over

i do love the streamer wednesday au, simply because enid's trying to make it healthier by getting outside the house more but being mated to wednesday and past experiences make it kinda hard

issok, she's growing

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Getting To Know You Tag

i was tagged by @spurious !! thanks!!

Relationship status: lmao single but also technically it's complicated 😂 i guess the most accurate description is a queer platonic relationship? except he's not actually queer so 😅 (at least he doesn't identify as queer) we live together and are spending our lives together so take from that what you will 🤷‍♀️😂

Favourite colour: it's a tie between blue and pink!! deep blues or teals specifically, and any shade of pink bc pink is the Superior Colour and everyone and everything looks good in it

Favourite food: oh man i have no clue 😭 it really depends on my mood, carbs of any sort tho usually!

Song stuck in my head: skip the step by brain falduto (wow shocker it's brain falduto 😂) i've been playing it so much recently bc it gives me strong mcshep vibes

Last thing you Googled: christopher judge (don't even remember why but he's great so valid)

Time: 1925 (7:25pm)

Dream trip: ireland 😍😍😍😍 or new zealand, but i wanna move to new zealand so i'm not really counting that as a trip. but god i wanna go to ireland SO badly

Last thing you read: i'm currently rereading O I Think We Should Be Brethren (Live Oak #4) because it's one of my favourite fics and @spurious did an AMAZING job of writing john in it im obsessed

Last book you enjoyed: the last actual physical book i read and enjoyed was probably the ballad of songbirds and snakes by suzanne collins, the prequel to the hunger games trilogy. absolutely incredible 10/10 i loved it

Favourite thing to cook/bake: i hate cooking and baking 😅 i guess a crock pot stew cause i can dump everything in a pot, turn it on low for 8 hours and call it a day 😂

Favourite craft to do in your free time: does writing count as a craft? if it does then writing 😂 if not uhhhh idk i spend most of my free time reading or writing lately

Most niche dislike: this is a good question! corporate pet retail i think honesty. i've been working in the pet industry over 5 years and it's actually super disgusting how common neglect and abuse is. fuck petsmart and petland and any other retail store that sells live animals! adopt don't shop!!!

Opinion on circuses: i've never gone to one but i'm against most things that involve animal captivity so i'm gonna say a vague negative opinion

Do you have any sense of direction: no i have a terrible sense of direction 😂😂 it's better than when i was a kid but still shit

no pressure tags: @the-mushroom-faerie @books-space-things @frostysfrenzy @chaniis-atlantis @hero-in-waiting @stinalotte and anyone else who wants to!!

[gentlenotes-moved]

So glad to hear that you finally have answers! I'm sure it's gonna make everything at least a bit easier to deal with! I hope that whichever plan of action your doctors now decide to take works quickly and without any problems for you. Beautiful souls like yours don't deserve to be in agony 😓😣

And don't you even dare feel guilty for not coming on Tumblr much now. Your health, physical and mental, is the most important thing!!!

(Me? I've been... existing 😅)

(also, I didn't realise we were mutuals until like a minute ago lol)

first of all, so sorry for the late response! and even if you are just existing, i hope that this existence is treating you gently and lovingly 💗 (and yeah! we're moots now yay!! <3)

but yeah, a definitive answer is really nice. a few days ago they actually sent in a letter saying: "visceral hypersensitivity/overactive nerves sending inappropriate signals to the brain. There is actually no acid reflux." he said it's best treated with low dosages of antidepressants. he also recommended me to get testing done for gastroparesis, and if that comes back "unremarkable", we'll focus treatments on functional dyspepsia.

i have noticed lately that i have had really bad brain fog, esp since this has all started. i've been having a really hard time concentrating, almost constantly fatigued, zone out a fuck ton more than i usually do, and am asking people to repeat themselves quite literally every time they speak, because it all sounds like absolute gibberish. also, (tmi warning), in the past 4 months, i have only had one (1) period that lasted one (1) day. one day. it wasn't even a heavy flow either. my last regular period was when the day this whole situation started, in late november. and i'm currently exactly 3 weeks late for one. like i get the cramps and everything that you get with a period, except the blood.

so... i think this whole brain and nerve thing is going a LOT deeper than just my dyspepsia like systems. i haven't brought any of this up to my doctor, but the next time i see her, i'm gonna. but i have no damn clue what i'm gonna do at this point tbh. (personal/family rant incoming)

my dad is one of those extremely die-hard conservative trumpers, and a MASSIVE conspiracy theorist (just search up qanon; it'll explain everything i'm about to tell you). he was extremely against me getting the endoscopy, saying that my mom and i didn't mention me getting anesthesia (i did mention multiple times throughout the week before I got it done bc he was so damn worried), and him and my mom fought the morning I got the endoscopy done, just before we left.

when we got back, it was absolute hell for about a week, for my mom and i both. he told me that we betrayed him and that someone 'gave me permission' to not follow his instruction (I am 18 when he tells me this btw). then he said that if my mom and i ever question his rules or instruction again, he'll leave us or, worse, [a threat that i don't feel comfortable sharing here] for a week, he accused me of working for my mom's past sexual abuser, and of things i also don't feel comfortable sharing here. and then a week later, everything is perfectly fine. just like that. i'm used to extremely sudden mood and emotion changes in this family; i've been dealing with it for about a decade now (verbal abuse followed by lots of affection through words and gifts over and over). but this isn't my problem at the moment.

throughout the week, i also told him that i considered surgery for my gerd. he then proceeded to tell me that if i even considered doing that, or whatever the doctors say, i'm a retard, and that i clearly don't need him anymore (bc im not following his instruction) and he'll just leave us. and that we don't need him, we just have to "say the words" and he'll be out. so.

when we got this letter, he kept on saying how dumb and uneducated my doctors are (my dad's a high school drop out btw). i don't exactly remember what he said, but it was something to the effect of me needing to drink more water and eat healthier food, but I told him that's what we started with when i found out I had gerd and IBS 5 years ago, and it did nothing. he stood there, silent, for a solid 10 seconds before saying "......you know antidepressants can change your change you and fuck you up forever, right?". and at that point i just kind of gave up.

also my mom was attempting to explain the letter to my dad in the car ride home from picking her up from work, but she said he kept yelling and interrupting her, and just not listening to any explanationa she had to give; i wasn't there for that part.

but in conclusion: i know i'm 18 and can make my own decisions. i know he can't legally stop me from anything now. but for some stupid, insanely stupid reason, i just subconsciously hold my dad's validation more important than my lifelong health.

i even told my mom about all of this, that i'm stuck between my dad's acceptance and my lifelong health, but i also can't seem to say anything either way that will make him happy. And she just said "we'll you're fucked (with making my dad happy), either way, right? why don't you pick the one that comes with you being healthy?" and that actually straightened it out a bit for me.

but like. i still feel IMMENSE guilt whenever i do something that displeases or angers him even in the slightest. i don't know why im hanging my entire self worth one person, him, and i know just how fucked up it is. but it's like i can't stop. i just... i don't know. the situation just seems to be 'do i take care of myself, and him be angered towards me/leave me, or do i neglect my better judgement for the acceptance of my father?'

so that's what i'm currently dealing with at the moment lmfao. thank you so, so much for the ask, and i'm sorry the response was a college final essay. i sincerely hope with all my heart that today/tonight treats you well. 💞

[thegeminisage]

TNG UPDATE TIME. wednesday (i think?) we did "the loss" and "data's day" and thursday we did "the wounded."

the loss: GIRL GO OFF. deanna was INCREDIBLE in this episode. the way she immediately called out other people acting weird around her because now she's disabled...she was so angry and scared but also like weirdly assured at the same time. very much in a take-no-bullshit (except her own) mood we rarely see from her

also, her and riker this episode...a whole "imzadi" mention and everything. i DON'T like the way he called her aristocratic but she did tell him off about it in the end so i can live with it. sorry to say this but it's a very ben and claire dynamic they had going on in this episode. i was fascinated

the whole time i was thinking about her horrible mother, who always encouraged deanna to talk with her mind and not her mouth. i'm so glad she wasn't in this episode. she would have made deanna feel SO much worse.

i loved her little moment with guinan too wah...guinan the only person on that ship who got through to her because she WASN'T walking on eggshells. god!!! women.

data's day: I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUCCCHHH

HIS CAT. I THOUGHT THERE WAS A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT THE CAT. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN...

also, data tapdancing <3 he did a great job. what a funny thing for beverly to know too.

finally some true o'brien content??? i hear jokes about his immense suffering constantly so im assuming poor keiko dies eventually. rip queen

btw, keiko was in mash. except in mash she was korean, not japanese. wild how that works. (rosalind chao is chinese.)

"geordi is my best friend" 🥺

the only truly wack thing about this ep is that the log was going to maddox. FUCK maddox. i'll kill him with my bare hands.

the wounded: HELLOOOOOO tng sometimes does pop off

first of all, SO thrilled to finally meet the famed cardassians. secondly, holy shit about the monster war makes out of people

like obrien isnt being racist bc he hates the enemy or whatever like that would be totally understandable (not at all acceptable, but understandable) given the circumstances but they went deeper. they literally went deeper. he was like actually i DONT hate cardassians i hate myself for killing one. KING.

his talk with that crazy ass captain at the end was so fucking good. them singing the war song together...my jaw was on the ground. like some people literally do fucking need the war.

i think the plot twist at the end was so good too. that he can be RIGHT about the supply ships but WRONG in what he chooses to do about it is so nuanced and important...i wish tng was good like this more often. what an ethical dilemma they presented here and like with so much compassion for people who are doing bad things for good reasons, and even for the innocent cardassians who that captain guy killed, because even if they're doing bad things for bad reasons it's not acceptable to like. just summarily execute hundreds of people. idk. it was great.

do you know the cold war was STILL GOING when they aired this episode. i think about that a lot

NEXT TIME which is hopefully tonight: "the devil's due" and "clues"

[suchagallabitch]

Fandom Tag !

i was tagged by the lovely @auds-and-evens & @vintagelacerosette thank you stinks 🥰

Your Name: Elle 😸

Your First Fandom(s): The Hunger Games and Percy Jackson

How did you first get into fandom? I was like 11 so forgive me for not remembering all that well but I honest to god think it was Wattpad 💀 I had always likes to write and I saw that people were writing stories about the books i loved and i was like yeah i gotta do that and now here we are nearing a decade since 😭

How long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? I think I was still in 5th grade when I started reading and writing fanfiction so sufficed to say quite some time

How often do you read fanfics? honestly not very often. I am horrible at consistently reading and like if i have the spare time i would rather write than read BUT i am trying to read more to support my lovely stinky friends and their amazing work 🫶

Top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Ian Gallagher ofc my favourite man, Mickey That also does without saying and my main woman the woman the myth the legend SHELIA 😩😩😩😩😩😩

Have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! I have 46 published shameless fics so go read them stinkies 🤨 I will shoutout my favourite(s) though if anyone is in the mood for some galladads

- wasn’t it beautiful running wild till you fell asleep before the monsters caught up to you?

- now i send their babies presents

- but we can patch it up good

- it was as good as our song

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, shout it out! I cannot draw to save my life 😭

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: A silly one is that Ian Gallagher is obsessed with SVU idk why thats a constant in my fanfics it just is. An actual serious one I have and I love so dearly is that Carl becomes a social worker. I feel like it makes sense because he wants to help his community out and he went through DCFS so he knows how it feels to be one of those kids. It just makes SO much sense to me especially since it seemed Carl was getting tired of being a cop but still wanted to help. How he passed school? I have no clue. I say Lip and Bryn (my gf oc for him) helped him cheat online school because that feels topical. OH also a fave headcannon is that Ian and Mickey have many many chickens thank you Mel ( @gardenerian ) i am forever obsessed with the chick crew

You're trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? That’s actually a funny question for me because once i talked about random shameless plot lines to ky friend for like an hr and she was genuinely so traumatised she couldn’t believe it. another time i showed random clips to a group of my friends i also definitely traumatised them. but then my other two friends started watching the show hc of me. I always say im a plauge on everyone bc we usually end up watching shameless. Bonus my amazing breathtaking spectacular friend had started rhe show a long time ago and is now actively trying to finish it because she wants to read my fanfics 😭😭🥹🫶. I realise i didn’t answer the question but i would show Ian stealing Yev and the sorry im late scene i feel like that encompasses the show pretty well and is enticing

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? This feels like an essay question prompt lol. Idk man a bunch of cool people coming together to make some cool things and consume media together and you know what?? we shlay 🫶

second tag….

name: smelly ellie at your service

age: a year older next week 😇

Where in the world are you? Florida (derogatory)

The meaning behind your UR: Im a gallabitch what can i say i also had this user before i joined the server so maybe im a psychic too

Your second favourite color: my favourite colours are all in a tie with one another so pink yellow and burnt orange are simultaneously my first second and third favourite colour

any pets? my son chidi who is definitely a human inside a cats body

favourite season? Winter! It doesnt get cold here but i can pretend

Last thing you read: The 7 husbands of evelyn hugo i DEVOURED that book i read it in like a day 😭 if anyone wants to chat about this book please come forth

Last song you listened to: (you) on my arm

What are you wearing right now? my work uniform lol i am actively currently not doing my job

A hobby of yours: writing ofc and i would say bitching us also up there. That said i need more hobbies and really wanna (re)learn how to crochet

and finally, what are you up to today? I wish I could say nothing ☹️✊. Gotta finish my shift and then do some school work unfortunately maybe i’ll write a lil who knows!

I’m gonna try and tag some friends i don’t usually in the spirit of fandom ! play along if you please 😌😊

@imikhailo @sam-loves-seb @babygirlmickey @michellemisfit @magnificentcollectivehurricane @secret-gallavich @rereadanon @damnnmilkovich @takeyourpillsbitchh @mickmilkowitch @tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast @twinklyylights @milkoviched @firecrxtch @milkovetti @chicanomick @mickeys-been-staying-at-ians @gallavichlover19 @nyhmeriah @ianstummy @mickeys-notebook @filorux @mrmillagher @mixkeymilkovich @too-schoolforcool @adakechi @ian-galagher @tsuga-of-mars @mikhailoaleksandrmilkovich @gallavichgeek @lesbiangallagher @milkovichs @flamingbluepanda @ianspettyagain @callivich 🫶🫶

[trenchcoatsbi]

ok mood (<- has been stuck in a weird mix of shifts that have resulted in space birb mode X3. which is both fun and hell. where's my wings and my tail. my teeth should be pointed and my mouth bigger. I shouldn't have these legs where are my talons :(((. CAN THE WINGS STOP POKING THROUGH MY HOODIE FOR FIVE SECONDS (on the fun side: hehe space!!!!! wings!!!! flying!!!!!!!!))

i cannot explain how this happened. But all I know is that void starling and/or etho are one of those shifts bc i could not stand to watch secret life today because it felt Wrong. will probably watch it tomorrow or smt. or just whenever i decide to ignore canon more then i already do) - Voidling Anon

APOLOGIES FOR THE LATE REPLY my boyfriend wanted me to make ponies on ponytown with him anyway uh uh uh yeah im fucking uh I dont even know whats up im just straight vibing (<- ignoring the horrors of whatever the hell my brain has done)

going vaguely off of vibes I think i know what this mess of shifts is but uhm also I have no fucking clue! we are having a normal one tonight gang! uh yeah idk Im literally just a guy sitting here with his stupid ass horns being annoying and his tail being annoying and fuck why dont i actually have my hrns or tail. also rahghg im missing my favorite little meow meow (little yip yip? idk man whatever the fox noise version of that is) augh ALSOI fucking hate when teeth. you know what i mean like I do not have the right chompers right now they r fucking stupid and not sharp enough ugh anyway uh yeah no clue what im saying or doing anymore I'm just waiting to spontaneouslt combust or something cause yea

[winderlylandchime]

And as for today? He woke up and was dead fucking silent. I need you to know that for months now, ive been waking up to him, wide awake at like 7 am, already up listening to music and getting ready for the day in whatever way he can. And today, he woke up at 10 am and didn’t speak a single word at all for like 3 hours. And then while i was eating, he was drinking his coffee and then out of nowhere he went ‘what the actual fuck was that finale?’ And after all i did was replied ‘now you know the bullshit ive been mad at for years’ he went ‘how did people survive this bullshit when it aired?’

Then afterwards he sent a voice memo to our mom and went ‘mom, you have no fucking clue how bad it is. Its really bad. This shit is my 9/11. I need to talk to you’ he also sent a similar voice memo to our dad.

Then he called his best friend and went ‘remember iron man? Yeah, i wanna fucking jump off a building right now. This is..Dude, i feel like I got dumped.’

Then he called our uncle cause he sent my brother a text about the finale. And they talked for quite a bit and he realized that our family knew about the finale and he went ‘AND NONE OF YOU FUCKS THOUGHT TO WARN ME? I know i hate spoilers but im not that bad! (This is where my uncle reminded him that my brother stopped talking to his husband bc he accidentally spoiled who won on drag race once) okay, but that was..okay maybe youre onto something here but still! This shit hurt! I was happy for no wedding and then BOOM! No justin.’

The things he said to me about the finale were a lot and all over the place but these are some of my favorite parts that stood out and i could remember: this was said while he was pacing up and down ‘everyone got their happy ending except Justin and Brian. What the fuck man? This is bullshit! I will start a protest over this’

‘So basically what i got from this fucking show is that: everyone except Brian, Justin and Emmett sucks.’

‘I want to know how many people they pissed off with this finale. Because this is bullshit! I mean not the wedding part, god imagine if they got married….yikes. But seriously why? Did people get angry at the season 4 finale so they decided to do this abomination?’

this next one was said while he was on the phone talking to a nurse who was telling him about tomorrows check up. Btw he was trying to whisper which to me made it funnier cause it sounded like he’s never whispered in his life ‘i just don’t understand cause why would they do th- yeah i’m still here. Okay, okay, yeah, mhm..okay- that like they were finally happy. Together. After all the bullshit! The bashing, the cheating, LA, CANCER, whatever the fuck season 5 was and now gone, ripped apart by one fucking review and a bitch with a bad haircut- yeah, so I give blood first and then? Okay cool- how fucking dare sh- no no im not talking to you, im talking to my sister.. about this sh- actually nevermind, I can’t do this now’

And the last one that i can remember that he said to before he once again went on a silent retreat for the rest of the day was: ‘fuck you. I hate you so much for showing me this show. I was better off not knowing because in my world, they were still together under one roof and not doing this long distance..(i remember that i wanted to say something here idk what) THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER AND NO ONE IS TAKING THAT AWAY FROM ME! This last season was just a suggestion..shit ended with the bike race’

After that, he went back to his room. Then outside to smoke. Then had his 5th coffee. And then he sat on a couch for like 20 minutes just petting Brian. And that was it. He was dead silent for the whole day. Our mom couldnt call him today because of work so he was in an even worse mood. And then he passed out with the cat. So basically the finale completely destroyed him and left him speechless. We barely even talked today because he literally looked like he went through hell and back over and over again. Im honestly wondering how tomorrow will go. Especially since our parents did text me to ask how bad on a scale of 1-iron man is it. And when i replied that i think it might be worse, our dad texted me ‘fuck…that’s uncharted territory. We’re all fucked.’

How did people survive this bullshit? I think this is the time to bring up the existence of fan fiction and gifsets and fanart. That’s how we survive. We create art. Because in the end the writers DID make us care and did make us feel big strong feelings and it inspired us to go create more feelings… and isn’t that the point in the end?

AND NONE OF YOU FUCKS THOUGHT TO WARN ME? You were ALL so careful to avoid spoilers. For science. He would have been really angry if he had been spoiled.

I will start a protest over this. I really did think he would start a petition for a reunion episode. I also thought he would make it happen. He seems like he has great relationships with his friends and you and your family, so I just thought enough people would care and he would be passionate enough and he would be able to accomplish what 20 years of fandom hasn’t been able to.

Shit ended with the bike race. THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT I’M ALWAYS SAYING. END THE SHOW WHEN BRIAN ASKS JUSTIN TO MOVE IN. YOU CAN EVEN LEAVE AMBIGUOUS WHETHER JUSTIN GOES TO LA, it’s unambiguous that they’re partners.

“how bad on a scale of 1-iron man” “fuck…that’s uncharted territory. We’re all fucked.�� I love your parents. They are going to kill all of us when they find out we’ve been egging you on. Please tell them that a bunch of internet strangers want to be adopted into your family.

Thank you for this journey Dear Sweet Anon. It has been such a rollercoaster AND also the most hilarious thing to happen. I did not have A Straight Man Watches on my 2023 bingo card. We are a teeny tiny fandom but this has brought the few of us here together in such a fun way.

If you want to send any other updates, my asks are always open. I know everyone will want to hear if your brother ventures into the fandom at all. Or what his reaction is when he finds out how many people knew - beyond the entirety of your wonderful family. I hope his recovery continues to go well (and he sustains no more queer as folk related injuries!). You seem to be an incredible sibling to him even though you broke his damn heart.

[leonave]

Hmmm, opinions on all seasons?

AMAZING question anon!! under the cut :-3

island: 8/10! its silly, a little edgy but not distractingly so. i love the background, casual moments between characters. its light on plot and drama but it is a great introduction to the cast, their relationships, and the tone of the series. great comfort watch!

action: ?/10. i rate it like that because it really depends on my mood lol! there are parts of action i really love and others i really hate with like. no middle ground? i thought the duncan/beth finale was fun and the justin antag arc was both hilarious and genuinely cool. its kind of a chore to watch though, the strongest feeling i remember while watching action was a sense of "how did they stretch this into 25 episodes"

world tour: 7.5/10 i really liked world tour on my first watch but the more i consider it, the more im neutral on it. i love sierra and alejandro but a lottt of characters got derailed in turn. mainly gwourtney and everyone who fell for alejandro. the characters feel kind of one-note too? conflicts come and go super quickly as well. but the constant action works in its favor! i was never bored :-) also noahs back which is good

revenge of the island: 8.5/10! incredibly fun with so many lovable characters who all provide some unique but still grounded qualities to the show. also one of, if not THE funniest season. i just remember it feeling so incredibly empty. its not the size of the cast bc i didnt feel that way about all stars or pahkitew island, its just something abt the tone and the way shots are framed. its definitely still getting used to the feeling of a smaller cast lol. great season i like it a lot!

all stars: 5/10. i dont hate any season of total drama but this comes Close. which ik is not a new opinion but still. the dialogue is so unnatural and fake, and while i actually enjoy the direction they went with some characters (scottney and much sillier alejandro) a LOT of them went completely unhinged. also there werent many g1-g2 interactions as i expected? sadface :-( the elimination order is kinda strange too and the zoke finale was a snoozefest.

pahkitew island: 10/10!! you knew where this was going. yes i love pahkitew island so much its unreal. it clearly doesnt take itself seriously and is just a really fun watch to me. the characters are all cool and likable in their own right, with a surprising amount of detail in the form of background conversations and unassuming friendships!! theres a lot of ambiguity behind everything too, from the setting to the characters, so its fun to theorize and headcanon about :-D its pretty different tonally from the rest of the show, which is honestly a really nice refresher from the drama-heavy all stars and world tour. A+ my fav

i havent seen enough rr to rate sorry :-(

td2023: 6/10: pretty funny! i like the character designs and concepts, they were all likable and decent enough for me. i just dont have many thoughts on it? it doesnt feel like total drama, and i have no clue why. the voice acting? the subplots? idk!! its like a really good fanmade show, which isnt a bad thing, its just A Thing. it also suffers from the roti emptiness, it feels really like. muffled. idk confusing thoughts on 23. definitely dont hate it though!!

[sleepinthrumyalarms]

this is long so i’m sorry about that

the story starts with demeter the godess of the harvest she’s the one who blessed earth and made sure everyone had a good harvest and all that jazz but if the harvest was good or not would largely depend on her moods the seasons were created when she suffered the biggest heartbreak of her life

demeter is one of the goddesses who lived on mount olympus but she would often come down to earth to check on the crops she loved her daughter persephone so much that she couldn’t bare to be separated from her so when she came down from the mountain she would bring persephone with her persephone was especially known for her beauty and was described as a happy and care free child one legend states that wherever she walked she would leave flowers in her wake and she could often be found picking flowers she grew to give to her mum she was always seen to be in harmony with every living creature on one of the trips down to earth hades spots her as she’s in a field picking flowers he’s the god of death so the fact that she was so pretty and full of life was like extra appealing to him ig? he was also just really lonely the poor guy and he wanted to make persephone his queen

when he first spots her picking flowers she’s completely alone and he used this opportunity to kidnap her and take her to the underworld and made her his queen by force demeter has no clue what’s happened all she knows is her daughters just vanished and obviously that’s gonna make you a little crazy yk? so all the crops died bc she wasn’t in a good mood and the harvest was ruined but like because zuez and hadies are brothers and they have a rocky ass relationship zuez didn’t wanna get involved but demeters depression was effecting everything so he tried to talk to her about it but that didn’t work so he had no choice but to strike up a deal with haies that if he could get persophoe to agree to stay with him there wouldn’t be any conflict

hadies being the sly devil he is didn’t actually ask he just offered her a pomegranate and she refused at first but this pomegranate was like the most delicious thing she’d ever seen and she hadent eaten in ages so she ate a quarter of it and he then confessed that however much she ate was how long she’d be stuck with him so she got mad and stopped and so she was returned to her mum for the other 3 quarters of the year and then she had to return to the underworld for a quarter of the year and while she’s down there her mum is so sad she doesn’t let anything grow so that’s how winter and all the other seasons were born

that was so long im sorry 😭 i know in detail about the kronos story too

-🏛️ (claiming my place as your green mythology annon)

i’m convinced all the male olympus gods are predators, literally too many stories of them assaulting women

but the pomegranate idea is interesting af tho

[ashtraysystem]

just remembered my classmate in art therapy class said "multiple personality disorder" and i ended up piping in about it 👁👁💧

it wasnt like a "well actually" it was a "oh hey um i have that! technically!! its called did tho now, and heres my experiences with it. if you need any help with your project regarding it and want to chat about it im always open!" and my prof was very pleased about it and about how i felt comfy telling the class //// (shes really sweet and nice, and has been nice to axel before too, so its like an "aw shucks ///" pride sort of thing)

ive gotten a lot more comfy being like "yea so ive got multiple peoples up here in my lil brain so sometimes things get kinda fucky wucky but that really doesnt change how we interact, just explains why i have the memory of a single cell organism" when it comes to specifically people in school/people i interact with in a way that would warrant that explanation. funny enough talking with friends doesnt normally warrant explaining it, but talking to people like my classmates who are essentially my "coworkers" at the moment (altho not entirely, obviously, as we are close bc we choose to be close in this environment we are forced to exist in together) i do have to explain bc a lot of times memory or mood ends up messing with the work im doing so i have to be like "yea so i have did i have no fucking clue whats going on rn tbh" sometimes. luckily most people are pretty understanding (even if they dont fully understand) and help clue me in better as to whats up.

i will however say one of my friends who is just weird as fuck (in the best way) recently asked "am i a little boy?" and we all went "...no?????? you are?? an adult lady??? huh??? you good bro????" she apparently was just worried that her outfit gave off boyish vibes (it did not, in fact it was very typical of what she wears and very feminine. again, she is just extremely strange and random in the best ways. she makes me laugh!)

[da3dm]

HI I PROMISE I'M SLOWLY GETTING INTO YOUR CONTENT, I FINALLY FOLLOWED YOU AND WILL GET INTO THE G/T FIC THEN IRZA AND VARA SOON AFTER!!! PATIENCE PLEASE IM NOT A QUICK PERSON!!!

ANYWAYS

🦅, ✍️ , 🌞 , �� , 📚 for the writer ask game! :]

ALSO you should make a playlist for vara or irza or vaza (coining an unofficial ship/duo name LMAO) or even eze !!!

— brick

i will unveil myself like a normal anon will, just for fun :)

HELLO YDXKGCKUGC

It’s perfectly fine, you actually startled me when you followed me! Which is actually pretty hilarious, and thank you for this ask...‘anon’!

You should’ve asked for a snippet of a wip or something bc I’m in extreme I MUST WRITE mood bc I feel very sick

I already have a playlist for Irza and I definitely don’t listen to it daily and write to it...

Here are your answers! Behold!

--

🦅: Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

What’s an outline???

No—in all seriousness I absolutely never outline. I attempted to outline for Night Light and it went nothing like what I planned for the very beginning of it but flowed sooooo well.

✍️: Do you have a beta reader?

Not really? Only dingbatnix bc I started proofreading theirs and decided to ask for some help with mine too! I don’t mind having more than one person read over it before I upload it though, since everyone catches something completely different...

🌞: Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

When I’m tired. That could be any time, but when I’m tired I hyperfixate on writing and easily spew out a few thousand words in about half an hour depending on how much I’m interrupted.

💖: What made you start writing?

I have absolutely no clue. I’ve been writing since kindergarten, although back then I drew a picture book and had my mom write the words for me and that never really went anywhere. I’ve also been told that, you know those tangents and stories toddlers will go on when telling a story with their toys? My brothers always ended after maybe a week, sometimes a little more, but I would carry on for MONTHS, and randomly bring it up like telling my mom “Oh! that gave me a great idea for “this and this” character!” Since I carried on forever tho my mom had no clue what I was even talking about bc she’d kinda tune me out. I once had a stuffed toy duck I insisted was a “rabies rabbit” just bc it fit my story, but I had toy rabbits....

📚: Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

If possible, ABSOLUTELY! I actually want to publish the book Voidshire if I can ever get around to finishing it! It would be my first published ones, altho not the first one to be finished.

—

I had fun answering this!

[unauthorizedmagicians]

Season 1 Episode 6 - Impractical Applications

aka the horny chupacabra episode 

hobbit loving freak. icon behavior penny

alice backing q up: he’s the “leading expert”

alice in her head: “get in my pants now”

i think q is forgetting that like shit changes in the say 20-30 years since the books were written. he goes on this rant about denial of fillory not being perfect but like. places change 

“yea… as a kid”

julia anger issues era. also kady’s mom reveal

kady when she lies. also i feel like what she says is what she wants her life to actually be like. ouch

will never get over the fact that they call psychic shit mind sluts

“just file that under wish there was jack shit i could do about it” mood

the green lighting on kady is so pretty

my least favorite plotline this season is the one about kady’s mom. its so unnecessary. and it fucking leads to a rabbit hole of shit for penny and kady and their relationship

”is someone being creepy on purpose” ding ding ding

the perfect rows except for plot convenient extra person!

fr makes no sense how the upperclassmen r just like allowed to kick ppl out but its funny so idc

the fact that this guy got kicked out is so dfjkhshf. and penny loves the man

god do hedges act like magic is a drug. the way they talk abt it covertly

“solve it by dawn” next shot its the middle of the day

this big ass heist they mention cut to season 5 with the world seed…

“i’d pretend i was ambassador to the fillorian outer islands” cut to miss high king the glow up

do ur lips move when YOU read eliot?

margos fits always go so hard

big ass fucking fishhook on the ground

how come some magic makes sparkles and some doesn’t

thinking about how penny has no clue what kady means when she says its life or death for her to be there and i would pay so much money to know what’s going through his head

kady with an axe this is not a drill shes in a tank grunting with an axe

did just realize they had to have the 2nd years run the trials bc the 3rd years are all missing/dead

internal circumstances my beloved

kady and penny moment where i simply pretend nothing after that ever happened and they lived happily ever after actually

right so i did in fact put this episode down for about 6 months or so and im just now coming back to doing these analyses. sorry folks lol ive been busy. anyways back to the analysis

i forgot how much i despise kady’s mom. however. she did not need to die like that. i usually skip this storyline when i rewatch. its a lot

“tell that to the girl who lost her virginity with all her clothes on” well…

quentin and alice just like as characters r supposed to be the insufferable nerds who can’t socialize but they just turned into incels

“i am scared to tell you this because its true” ouch

im a silly little film major and the idea of using the backlighting so they can be naked while not completely exposing them just looks so gorgeous in awe of the cinematographers every time

alice’s speech about holding back just foreshadowing her becoming a niffin/master magician

hey remember when the writers actually remember that q is clinically depressed? yea me neither