#i have my own thoughts on the matter
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genuine question but if i turned any of my fics into an original story what would you most like to read
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I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:
There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#like even with there being more OPEN AND OUT trans people there are still more cis people by volume#even in my high school with three trans girls and three trans guys (including me) and a few NB people...#...there were still a THOUSAND cis kids going to school with us. imagine complaining when cis people are still 'dominant'#i don't know what my secondary school's population is because it's a big campus so you can deal with high school stats lol#like thank gd we are beginning to live in a world where the trans population CAN grow#i want there to be more trans people. because trans people will continue to be trans#we will continue being trans no matter what laws you put into place. no matter how dangerous you make the world for us...#...we will continue to be trans whether or not you approve. and that's fucking beautiful. i want us to live. i want us to eat well.#i want us to not worry about anything in this world. and that's going to happen one day. it will happen just like the sun rises each morning#if that is a threat to you then that is your own fault - your own self-destructive and sad thoughts about people and our world#and that is not my burden to carry - i have my own.
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skybound megatron when i catch you.... when i FUCKING catch you...............
#ILL KILL HIM WITH MY OWN HANDS IDGAF IF HES A GIANT ROBOT ALIEN THAT LEADS THE DECEPTICONS#“you know the limits of my power” YOU HAVE A CANON ON YOUR ARM WTF DO YOU MEANNN 😭😭😭😭😭#sighhhh i was laughing at star's interactions with the humans like 1 page earlier and then bam they hit me with this...........#“what you desire matters not you are mine now” this killed me#user ironladders found dead in a ditch cause of death transformers comics 100% true not clickbait#god i have soo many thoughts abt this issue#sorry to the ppl who follow my spam twt bc i am going crazy over it rn#transformers#starscream#megatron#skybound spoilers
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content warning: blood
Loyal to a fault
bonus + other versions:
Bonus:
Alt:
the words on Ghost's body reads:
LOVE (level of violence)
it takes a monster to destroy a monster (poorly cropped i apologize)
Loyal Dog
Vēnor (Latin verb for hunt, chase)
this is something very different to what I usually do I hope yall don't mind....also this was me when I was sharing this with my friends...because priceghost/ghostprice dynamic really gets a grip on me
#im gonna be honest when I first drew this months ago I didnt intend for it to get this bloody#all i wanted was Price holding a leash to Ghost#there's#so much feelings i have for this ship that i cannot articulate#I have a friend on twt their handle is bearcvck and jesus they have the best priceghost fics/drabbles ever#should check it out if you want >:3 they also do ghoap#idk i have my own thoughts with this piece but no matter how I write it it doesn't quite bring out what im trying to say#so if you want I would love to see your interpretation of this piece!#not the best thing i've made bcuz they're both very stiff in terms of posture#learning curve still to do non-chibi rahhhh but im trying and that's what it matters#tumblr pls dont bonk me i've covered Ghost's tatas with words PLEASE#gummmyart#doodle#priceghost#ghostprice#captain john price#simon ghost riley#price x ghost#ghost x price#john price x simon riley#simon riley x john price#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod#cod mw#scheduled
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What would Peri’s power level be if he didn’t have his inhibitor/stabilizer wand and just went apeshit?
While Cosmo deals with too much magic in his body, Peri suffers from a slightly different issue. Cosmo has the greatest amount of magic in Fairy World. Peri is incapable of regulating his magic.
Peri cannot, not then as a child and not now in the present, control his magic. Without his inhibitor, he can easily destroy an entire realm- just as he nearly destroyed Earth as a baby. This fact has not changed, although it is less plausible today than back then.
Peri's taken extra measures in the present-day to ensure it cannot happen.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop wanda#wanda#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#asks#itty bitties fop au#clownjacket#ok last of the first batch!!#also if ur wondering about their anti-counterparts. i have an ask for that !! but like. they've the opposite issues.#AC has near-zero magic and irep has precise control of his magic!#cosmo doesnt deal with his problem anymore because half of his magic is shared with wanda now since they're a bonded pair#and AC borrows his wife's magic since they're ALSO a bonded pair#ALSO ALSO#FAIRY BLOOD!!!!#ITLL BE ITS OWN POST!! in the distant future though bcs i dont have any asks for it and.#and there's a fop post somewhere in my blog. thats specific about fairy blood. i found it so fuckign neat i want to incorporate it in my au#but i need to FIND IT FIRST#the post is a drawing of irep and peri in a fist fight and theyve opposite blood on them (black/white blood)#and its so!!! AOUGHG !!!!!#once i find that post ill make a whole worldbuilding ramblings about fairy blood. but like. what I WILL Say is!!#fairies bleed ichor!!! and all 4 courts have different colors !!! pixies bleed blue. thase all that matters here for now haha#haha man timmy. ur drained of all ur magic and ur bleeding heavily from many vital places and ur first thought is poof? priorities man!!
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so i got through to the top 300 for the pokemon tcg contest. i'm feeling normal about it........feeling very normal and sane. which is why i also drew this in ms paint
#my art#pokemon#pikachu#i saw they announced the shortlist and i didn't have any email saying i'd gotten through or anything so i was expecting nothing#got jumpscared by my own art#anyway after pretending to be normal AUGAHAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH OH GOD!!!!!#TOP 300 ARE YOU KIDDING ME I NEVER THOUGHT#WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM!!!!!!!!!!!#okay i'm fine. for real though i'm so flattered and excited there's so many gorgeous beautiful entries!!#to echo what i said on my side blog: if my art was put on a pokemon card i think i would collapse into subatomic matter#and become a perfect blackberry on a bush 50 years ago in new hampshire england#paraphrased#anyway i'm excited maybe you can tell
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god the way ghost’s voice drops when he tells soap, “you’ll need to improvise to survive”
before that, everything he says is steady but when he acknowledges that soap’ll have to do something outside his skill set, something he intimately knows to be difficult, his voice wavers. he does the same when he says, “welcome to guerrilla warfare”; it’s sombre and serious in a way he doesn’t act for the rest of the mission. if you read into it enough, he almost sounds apologetic; like he knows exactly what soap’s about to go through and wishes he didn’t have to
he keeps soap going; poking at him and making jokes, giving him tips and asking about his progress. he never lets him stop and take a second to think bc he knows the moment he does is the moment it'll all hit him; the betrayal, the pain, the fear, the deaths, all of it will drown him and if that happens, soap won't make it
he needs him to be a soldier through and through and he knows this is one of the worst kinds of battlefields you could end up on
and the only times he slips is when he acknowledges that fact
it happens again when he says, "tryin' to get you here alive and in one piece". his jovial dark humour facade drops for just a moment when he has to face the potential reality of losing soap. then he tries to pick it back up again with, "one of us has to survive to tell the tale"; completely discounting himself as a survivor to try and rally soap and make him think it’s all down to him
and soap does the same thing
when he's calling out for ghost on the radio, he's tentative, testing the frequency, then when he doesn’t get a response, he grows desperate; "ghost, this is 7-1, do you copy?"
then when ghost answers, he smooths out his voice; he hides the pain, the fear, and no matter what response you give to ghost asking if he’s injured, soap brushes it off (“i’m good”, “what’s the difference?”, “i’m not a medic”). soap decides it’s in ghost’s best interest to hide the extent of his injuries
he doesn’t know where ghost is, if he’s secure, if he has any weapons; he doesn’t even know if he’s in las almas until he says, “there’s a church, i’m headed to it”. for all he knows, he could’ve run in the complete opposite direction. if ghost knows he’s hurt, then his attention would be split between his own survival and soap’s
and soap, who lets himself be poked and prodded towards the church, needs to hide his own doubts. maybe he needs ghost to believe he'll make it so he himself can believe it ("what are my odds?" "don't make me bet against you", "think i'll live that long?" "probably not")
he all but begs ghost to tell him he'll get through it and if he knows just how bad off he is, maybe he'll change his mind. maybe he'll think he won't make it to the church
maybe he'll leave him alone for good
"you injured?"
"i’m good"
"let's find out how good you are"
#remember when i said soap kept being injured from ghost for his own good and said it was a thought for another day?#well todays the day motherfuckers its more alone meta time!#i dont think he expects ghost to give him guerrilla warfare 101 over comms#i dont think he expected him to bail altogether otherwise he wouldve sounded different calling for him#but he probably thought ghost would focus on himself a lot more than he does#even after he gets to the church its in his best interest to stay silent and unnoticed (like a good sniper should)#instead he gives away his position both by constantly talking and shooting to take out the shadows about to kill soap#they both try to hide things from the other to reassure them that theyre alright. that theyll both get out alive#and youre trying to tell me they arent in love?#bc thats not how soldiers act#no matter how they feel they have to report injuries#soap jeopardises them both by withholding that#he acts like a man when hes supposed to act like a soldier and why would he do that if not to protect simon the man instead of ghost his I.#love motherfucker!#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#meta#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Bestie Deficiency
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#a-qing#xue yang#xiao xingchen#Xue yang is cold because cold blooded creatures can't generate their own body heat#I am skipping over drawing the stories they tell due to the fact this arc is already really dragging#but I think they are very key in understanding the yi-city characters#Even if they are stories that really bring down the slumber party vibes A-Qing was hoping for.#I mentioned some of my thoughts in the tags of no. 76 but to continue on a bit more#I think xxc and xue yangs stories inversely mirror each other on the meaning of sacrifice and what it means to 'deserve' something#to xue yang he has only ever sacrificed - therefore he is in his right to 'deserve' what he wants. And he wants everything.#xxc leaves song lan thinking its the best course of action to atone but my god. No it wasn't. Poor communication crown actually goes to xxc#but it's what xxc he feels he deserves - continued sacrifice to atone. He wants to want nothing.#both are very stuck in the past in ways that are not actually accounting for their actions#It's easy to look at xue yang and go 'dang you need to get over your childhood trauma'#but that very much ignores that fact that we - real human beings - define so much by our childhood pains.#Growth is having to come to terms with it and trying to move past it...and not everyone is ready for that.#I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now.#Anyways. Amiguito appears to be one of those words whos meaning change depending on speaker and contextual factors#So as far as I can tell it slides around on the scale on romantic and platonic. Which works for this dynamic. I think.#Native Spanish speakers I am so sorry.
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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Day 3: Connection
You were once me, I'll never be you. Let's meet again, in the next--
#Orion's Art#Kingdom Hearts#KHX#KHUX#Player Character#khoc#khocweek#khocweek2024#''A mountain of skulls it is'' responded the Bodhisattva#''But know my son''#''that all of them''#''are your own''#been doing lots of weird things with their hair in this series#I'll keep going and see where it leads#I saw someone talking about refillable tech pens#while drawing this#I do not have resources to even start down that road#but I definitely Thought about it#I'm also terrible with pens#no matter how long I draw#my coordination hasn't gotten any better#I also push down too hard#I'd likely bend all the nibs#still... comics... <- is currently suffering through a comic#I don't like the colors on the other two#so I didn't really color this one
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pokeani where everything is the exact same but Zoey was allowed to be even more butch
#my pokeani thoughts lack relevance or meaningful insight#but they're correct. to me personally. and that's what matters#i mean idk. some of them aren't. i don't stand by some old posts but so it goes.#i still get notes on 2+ year old posts and it's like whyyyy are you here and howwww did you find this#but if people are still finding and enjoying old shit i've said then sure. go off. have fun. i'll just die mad about it ddfjhdsksf (joking)#if I deleted and ran from the concept of ever having been cringe then i would have nothing to my name and that feels worse than being cring#e.#i have confidently said some very silly things in my life. just in general. and I will continue to do so. and it'll be fine.#my own brain cares more about that than my friends do so it's a me problem to be honest. and that's comforting.#ok we've gone from butch zoey to 'here's how to comfort your brain during an RSD episode' so i guess we're done here.
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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JIN LAN CITY TIME LOOP IM SOOOOOO CHIN ON HANDS FOR IT
IT'S ON MY LIST TO WRITE!! unfortunately that list is three pages long... orz....
but the idea of lbh keeping sqq trapped in the loop, all while sqq doesn't know that lbh is experiencing the loop with him, is soooo tasty.
lbh would be unable to move on from sqq's death, refusing to part from the last moments sqq was alive until he's able to find a way to end the loop without sqq self destructing. does he know that sqq is looping with him? does he want to know, when every loop sqq turns away from him, condemns him, and then still dies? could lbh bear to know that sqq is making those same choices over and over and over?
it isn't for us to know! after all, all we have is sqq's pov, and he only knows of himself in this loop. what reason do we have to doubt him? the system has done wackier stuff, and we've all read "just like a monkey, i've been dancing my whole life." to us, sqq is clearly just stuck in this loop until he finds a way to reconcile with lbh.
meanwhile, sqq's desperation to escape the loop would only heighten with every iteration, and sqq's "escape" plans all rely on his own death. lbh's qi deviation would come earlier and earlier, and his mental stability would grow even more brittle, and -
and by the time sqq has reached the point of just giving up and doing whatever lbh wants, lbh isn't in the headspace to accept that. all lbh can do is keep the loop running.
and oh, sqq, what else is there to do? isn't the final, most desperate act to get out of a time loop to confess to someone else that the loop is happening?
wouldn't it most make sense if the person who must hear that confession is lbh?
...oh, sqq, lbh already knows.
#it would be SUCH a tasty lbh breakdown in this one frfr#lbh can't trust that sqq will survive past this day - he can't trust that breaking the magic of the loop won't leave him without his shizun#no matter what sqq does in his own attempts to break the loop it will only make lbh more desperate to keep the loop running#I DO WANNA WRITE THIS ONE DAY I RLY DO.... i just also have a million other fics i rly wanna write too 😭#still have to finish my fth fic first though i'm only like 20k into it kjdfhg#nyoomerr ask#svsss thoughts
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