#i have many many very gay feelings for her
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USA Today Interview (2024)
For Jonathan Bailey, one of the biggest perks of starring in a massive franchise is getting your very own Lego figure.
The British actor, who plays the swoony prince Fiyero in “Wicked,” is featured in a 945-piece plastic Emerald City set. Although he has yet to procure the toy metropolis for himself, “Christmas is coming and I hope I’ve been a good boy this year,” Bailey says with a grin.
The impish heartthrob has been using Legos to unwind while on a weekslong promotional tour for the blockbuster movie musical, which tells the origin story of the witches of Oz. “Just last night, I managed to (put together) the Atlantic Ocean in this giant Lego globe that I’m currently building,” he delightedly explains.
The fantasy film caps off a monumental year for Bailey, 36, who earned an Emmy nomination for his devastating work in Showtime miniseries “Fellow Travelers,” and spent the summer in Thailand shooting “Jurassic World: Rebirth” (in theaters July 2, 2025) alongside Scarlett Johansson.
“It’s extraordinary the types of roles I’ve been able to play these last two years,” says Bailey, who broke through to U.S. audiences on Netflix phenom “Bridgerton” in 2020. “I’m pinching myself. If I could have gone back and told my younger self that this would be happening, I’d probably do a flip.”
Jonathan Bailey brings 'boyish charm' to 'Wicked' prince Fiyero
Bailey is no stranger to musical theater: At just 8 years old, he played the pint-sized revolutionary Gavroche in “Les Misérables” on London’s West End. And in 2019, he won an Olivier Award for a gender-swapped revival of Stephen Sondheim’s “Company,” singing the mile-a-minute “Getting Married Today.”
But it was a viral audition tape for the musical “The Last Five Years” that caught the attention of “Wicked” director Jon M. Chu. “It felt like the thing I’ve always loved about musicals, where the song is just an extension of the dialogue. It felt like acting,” Chu recalls. “He just has that X factor. There’s such a boyish charm to him that you’re like, ‘That is Fiyero.’”
Like many, Bailey became obsessed with “Wicked” thanks to its Broadway cast album and 2004 Tony Awards performance with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth. “The lyrics are so fascinating and witty,” Bailey says. “I remember laughing specifically at Glinda singing how this hat is ‘really, uh, sharp, don’t you think?’ I screamed!”
When the contumacious Fiyero arrives at Shiz University from Winkie Country, he instantly enchants the besotted Glinda (Ariana Grande), but slowly finds himself drawn to the green-skinned Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo). He also freely flirts with both his male and female classmates.
“Fiyero is confident and curious and kind enough to invite anyone to Winkie Country,” Bailey says cheekily. But as a gay actor, he’s grateful for the “years and years of progress” that have allowed him to be the leading man in a big-budget movie like “Wicked.”
“There's been many Fiyeros before me, and many members of the LGBT community who have fought for times where someone like me could play these parts,” Bailey says. "This story resonates for so many people because it’s about identity and celebrates our similarities. In playing Fiyero, you realize what an ally he is to someone who’s outside of society. People are incredibly unkind to Elphaba, and he uses his charm and privilege” to help her feel accepted. “It’s really lovely.”
The 'Bridgerton' dreamboat heads to 'Jurassic World' next
“There's been many Fiyeros before me, and many members of the LGBT community who have fought for times where someone like me could play these parts,” Bailey says. "This story resonates for so many people because it’s about identity and celebrates our similarities. In playing Fiyero, you realize what an ally he is to someone who’s outside of society. People are incredibly unkind to Elphaba, and he uses his charm and privilege” to help her feel accepted. “It’s really lovely.”
The 'Bridgerton' dreamboat heads to 'Jurassic World' next
Bailey delivers one of the movie’s standout numbers in “Dancing Through Life,” in which Fiyero persuades his schoolmates to join him for a night on the town at the trendy Ozdust Ballroom. The song begins in the Shiz library, where Fiyero swings between ladders, slides across desks, and flips through novels using only his feet. The actor spent seven weeks rehearsing the choreography, much of which takes place on rotating bookshelves.
“It turns out in Fiyero’s boots, it’s not so easy to open books and read ‘War and Peace’ with your toes,” Bailey jokes. “I also started training vocally over Zoom while I was filming ‘Fellow Travelers.’ I would do these scenes with Matt Bomer where I’d be smoking and screaming, and then I’d have to come back and sing somehow.”
Ultimately, making "Wicked" helped Bailey feel more at ease taking on the beloved "Jurassic Park" series, in which he plays a bespectacled paleontologist named Dr. Henry Loomis.
“Dancing and closing books with your toes does not save you from raptors,” Bailey quips. “ ’Wicked’ is its own beautiful beast, but it leans so much on the original imagery of ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ It taught me to blur out the reality of what it means to step into an incredibly iconic story, and just focus on working hard and having a lot of fun."
Bailey teases that he has another musical project “on the horizon.” In the meantime, Fiyero will have a more substantial role in "Wicked: Part Two" (in theaters Nov. 21, 2025), which shot back-to-back with the first movie. He still regrets not taking home the character's black leather boots, created by "genius" costume designer Paul Tazewell.
“I did manage to steal some postcards from the Emerald City,” Bailey says. “Some of those accidentally flew off in the middle of a take and landed in my bag. Other than that, I hope Paul will send me Fiyero’s tight pants one day."
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#jonathan bailey#jonny bailey#interviews#interviews:2024#USA today interview 2024#wicked#jurassic world rebirth#NEW!
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Inchie we need your words of reason again 🙏 Newer fans have bled over from other hockey rpf and keep crossing lines 🫥
babe idk how wise I am ?? at all but I'm a firm believer in using common sense about rpf. and I haven't personally seen the stuff you're alluding to but! I've seen posts referring to it and I heard smth about another ship suffering a containment breach… so can't hurt to throw my 2c in as well ?? idk?
tl;dr that landoscar is NOT the ship for you if you 're going to try and force it to be "real" in a l*rry way*. this ship adores the real life friendship without having it compete with the guys' other many friendships - and we do NOT hate women and women partners or pretend they're beards/fakes/conveniently open relationship. and we absolutely do NOT push rpf outside of fandom. you'll get blocked/reported if you do. this is NOT the space for you to find your next "omg what if they're actually fcking" ship. Lily and Oscar are basically forever, Lando is rightfully loving his life sharing his beautiful body with people, and the fan fiction for the ship is staggeringly amazing so we're very very happy w the status quo <3
and we do NOT share rpf content with Lando, Oscar, anyone in F1, the families - basically if they're not someone you know solely in fandom, you don't share rpf with them. again, you will not find support for that here.
I "officially" joined landoscar fandom around Silverstone 2023 and these have been the hard lines taken for as long as I can remember and from all of the OG people in this fandom. esp from people who've been here since Oscar's Alpine tweet bc landoscar is unique in not having led with a PR image and we've all gotten to see every nervous, stumbling and authentic progression of their partnership and friendship along the way - at no point feeling the need to cross the boundary between fic and reality. it truly is charming and intriguing and rewarding as it exists in reality!
as far as the 'why' essay I'll drop all that where it can be ignored easily aslfgjalgf
like I said - landoscar has always been the exception of no one ever slipping over into trying to "make it real" in large part bc Lando and Oscar don't do the PR bromance/fake gay/fan service stuff which !reminder! is content in other ships I absolutely eat up and is 100% targeted to me but !! I'm also aware is connected to a lot of inappropriate fan behavior from ppl who blur the lines between amusing PR content and reality. trust me, I had to basically abandon carland0 which was my very first f1 ship bc to this day - fully out in the open - I see casual misogyny thrown around about Rebecca and ppl truly loudly thinking Lando and Carlos - who have always referred to each other as brothers and who laugh at the "gay" stuff they do precisely bc it's not real - genuinely fcked and/or dated. I will never care enough about an rpf ship to willingly encounter that shit on a regular basis. I know there's a lot of good ppl in the ship who don't engage in that stuff but I have such a hard line about wag hate that it's not worth it for me.
ironically or maybe because of, Lando and Oscar are the only drivers to NOT engage in playing gay for laughs BUT also who hit multiple progressive bullet points in things like discussing romance and dating in gender neutral terms and not making a big deal out of consuming or discussing queer media etc. they actually walk the walk in not pushing gender identity or sexual orientation on hypotheticals or on each other. they also don't do any macho/tradmasc behavior with each other or even bro-ey stuff like rough-housing or loud, aggressive humor (nothing wrong with loud bro stuff tho as long as it doesn't veer into toxic territory! I come from hockeyblr originally so it can be really sweet!)
and landoscar is also the exception in that we all ADORE Lily and have zero interest in trying to erase her let alone anyone be hostile toward her. in straight people culture they're basically already married and that's how they were when landoscar started as a ship! a lot of us have regularly made posts similar to this for newer fans to remind them that Lily (and whoever Lando ends up with as a steady partner) are NOT pawns in an rpf game. Lily is a real human woman with a real life relationship with Oscar and while no one is obliged to engage w wag content, respecting her existence is the bare minimum expected.
the last point I should make is that there's a very clear difference for instance on my blog where I see fanservice ship content about say charl0s or frand0 or n0rtrell and lose my mind over it and love it etc. but then there's Alex or Rebecca or Pietra on my blog! bc I can have fun without erasing women or losing common sense!!
whereas whenever I post stuff about a friendship that rly does make me Feel Things and write my insane essays, it's bc of what the relationships verifiably are and not what they aren't. Max F truly has a complexity and level of depth in his relationship with Lando that is unique and special to each other's lives. in the same way, Lando and Oscar truly do have a particular charm and fondness for each other that's made them approach each other unusually tentatively and slowly - while also having such intense blushing fondness as well as a uniquely intriguing maturity to their professional partnership. this stuff is fascinating and those two examples in particular swim around into all kinds of social/emotional territory.
in ways that do not require conspiracies and fan theories of them fcking or dating to make them compelling.
(and tbh the fact that Lando has some form of "crush" on a lot of handsome men and subconsciously/consciously "flirts" is absolutely fine to enjoy... as long as none of it gets outside of fandom.)
and the fan fiction for landoscar is truly TRULY staggeringly prolific and immensely talented so that's where we go for imagining them in any other type of reality <3
*do not get mad or whatever abt this - if you did or still do just want to ship l*rry privately then whatever but that's the like terrible gold standard for horrific real life repercussions of taking rpf seriously and why fandoms should never ever allow that to happen. there's no debate about that.
#inchreplies#landoscar#mctwinks#twinklaren#using all the tags bc if this is genuinely a problem then we gotta root it out#as someone who makes content about this one ship I am not saying I'm like a major blog or anything#just that with a certain amount of followers it's definitely smth I should weigh in on if that makes sense#wank adjacent#pinned post
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my moms bisexual in denial but i dont think that counts
you know, it's an interesting conversation topic, because i just brought up my own mom who was in denial/in the closet about her identity, too. i do think it counts, even if someone hasn't come to accept it, themselves, because it's there and it's happening whether or not that person accepts it. obviously you don't want to tell your mom who they are and how they identify, but it can be pretty easy to pick up on someone who is queer but hasn't accepted it
my mom was exactly that, too. my mom was a closeted butch lesbian in denial. she would constantly tell me that she wished she could live with, date, and marry women. she told me numerous times throughout my life that she wished she could just marry a woman and surround herself with women. she was very butch, never wore makeup, barely wore accessories/jewelry, almost always wore men's clothes, or women's clothes that looked androgynous. always wore her hair short. she got very scared when i started presenting like a butch lesbian because she saw something reflected in herself that she was scared to admit. she even told me as a kid that i needed to not dress butch because people would assume she was a butch lesbian and call her out for it. you can see that the denial ran deep with her.
it's unfortunate because i feel like we really could've bonded over that, but she's not with us anymore. so all i can really do is think back on how she was too scared to live her true life, and how i just can't do that to myself. my mom lived in a progressive enough state that she would not have had much issue marrying another woman. but she was unfortunately scared to step out of the closet, and many people live those lives. my sister is the same as my mother. she has parroted the exact same things my mother has said, plus, when i was in high school, we had a day where we were supposed to wear a specific color to show support of queer students. when i asked my sister if she had a shirt in that color and explained why, she actually asked me
"Why would you support people who choose to be gay?" in utter confusion, i blinked at her, and went "What, do you wake up every day and choose to be straight?" and i kid you not, she proudly put her hands on her hips and said "Yes, I do!" it was so painful to witness. i wish I had told her "So you... aren't straight." i wish i had had the courage to tell her that's not normal and that if you have to wake up every day and choose to be a specific sexuality, you're lying to yourself. her perspective on queerness never really got better, espcially after i transitioned, but that's a story for another day. my sister blew my mind that day... i realized i had 2 queer family members who were scared shitless to admit it and instead of accepting it, they took it out on me.
sorry for the ramble, but i just wanted to bring up my own experience with this because i'v eknown my mom has been a closeted butch lesbian my entire life and it's something that moves me. she lived her entire life in denial, start to finish, and was never able to be herself. i'd say it saddens me, but it doesn't. it motivates me to always be my most authentic self. because living a life that's not yours isn't living. my mom could've potentially have been a much happier person, but fear kept her trapped in her misery. i don't want to do that to myself
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Firefly AU where Captain Eddie (Mal) and Companion Steve (Inara) are dancing around each other while the latter is renting a shuttle on the former’s ship. (For those not familiar with Firefly, a companion is a prostitute with a centralized but extremely powerful and respected union. Companions are fancy. Very… coiffed and officially trained, with mandatory annual medical checkups.)
First mate Nancy (Zoe) is a total badass who served with Eddie in the war, married to pilot Jonathan (Wash). Everyone is so sure that Eddie and Nancy have a history… but they really wouldn’t work as a couple; too much clashing dom energy, even if Eddie weren’t gay as the day is long.
Instead of photography, Jon’s thing here is flying. Instead of toy dinosaurs, he has old miniatures that used to belong to his younger brother. No one knows the backstory to that, except maybe Nancy.
The ship’s engineer is Robin (Kaylee), who wandered on board one day and pointed out three mistakes their previous engineer was making basically before anyone else realized she was there. Eddie hired her on the spot and they bonded as fellow queers who grew up on backwater planets, dreaming of escaping to space.
Wayne (Shepherd Book) was attached to the ship from the beginning because he’s never not going to be Eddie���s uncle in my heart. Even Eddie isn’t totally sure what all Wayne was up to before Eddie’s dad dumped a preteen on him with no warning and then vanished. (Maybe there’s a running joke on the ship that Wayne probably just killed the guy; he knows too much about too many weirdly niche subjects to not have some sort of History.) But when Eddie was released from Alliance custody at the end of the war, Wayne attached himself to his nephew and likes to keep him grounded, humble, and reasonably honest, for an outlaw… He doesn’t really object to Eddie’s line of work, but will absolutely speak his mind when he thinks Eddie is being stupid about anything.
Their weapons guy, Billy (Jayne), is a mercenary purely there for the money. He gets a moment in one chapter where he proudly wears a questionable hat his mother sent him in the mail, and one chapter set on a planet where he’s considered a hero for stupidly coincidental reasons and he has a genuine moment of feeling bad that some of them got hurt protecting him from an attack, but mostly he’s just an asshole.
They pick up a passenger on one trip through Persephone, a doctor named Kali (Simon). Unlike Simon, she does put up a good front of unflappable and serious, but tends to go all flustered and awkward around Robin. In the first chapter Kali is discovered to be transporting her younger sister, Eleven (River), in stasis in the ship’s cargo. She broke Eleven out of an Alliance lab where they were messing with the younger girls brain and they’re fugitives, better off constantly on the move so Eddie keeps Kali on as long as she acts as ship’s doctor and they don’t cause trouble for him or his crew.
I desperately want Billie as a widely popular girl’s name in this ‘verse so the “Well Jayne ain’t a girl” moment can still happen when Eleven blandly comments on it. And I want Kali to drug him when he tries to take control of the ship one time while Eddie is away.
Reavers are basically the Flayed.
Steve and Robin are platonic soulmates. Whenever Robin’s not working and Steve’s shuttle is docked, she goes in there and lets him do her hair while they shut talk about his more ridiculous clients. (He gets to pick them, and is able to blacklist any he has a reason to, but they’re still all mostly rich and snobby. Men and women, Steve is flexible.)
Anyway, they all do crimes and Eddie and Steve spend the entire time mutually pining for one another. That’s all the thought I have right now.
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hey! I got to thinking and actually turned this post of mine into a small drabble
(give me your thoughts on this subject btw!)
this one may be a bit for me to unpack but bare with me lol
so I’ve actually gone on a bit of a spiel about Arthur, his brownness and how that relates to external love, self love, and largely self hatred (I’ll find the post later) the thing is, I really only talked about how all of that relates to his relationship with John, and since the Saltzmans are a bigger can of worms to unpack they definitely deserve their own post
the most prominent relationships he has are with Daniel (father-in-law) and Bella (late wife)
here, I’m gonna focus on the implications of the Saltzmans being brown family
Kayne remarks that Arthur fell “in-like” with Bella, and while that can be interpreted in many ways (Arthur is gay, Arthur is arospec, etc etc) I think in this specific case it can be interpreted as Arthur choosing a “safe” option, let me elaborate— I believe Arthur and Bella really were good friends before they got into a relationship, and in some way loved each other, but the marriage wasn’t as magical or fantastical as either were made to believe marriage would be. not because they didn’t love each other, but because they married out of fear, the fear of never being able to find someone like them again, or someone willing to marry someone like them, someone who looks like they do
the relation of their brownness could also be a factor in Daniel’s anger at Arthur for allowing Bella to leave her pursuit of education to marry him, being that its the 1930s and it would obviously be LOT harder to go to college and pursue higher academics as a woman of color
now, let’s shift the focus to Daniel
we know now from information given in one of the recent episodes that Arthur didn’t have a good relationship with his father, that he was a drunk and payed little attention to him (not sure how I feel about that because ehh it’s a little stereotypical, something I’ve personally gone through though) (yay! projection!) . when Arthur reunites with Daniel, the two are able to talk things through (as best as they can before yk everything with Collins happens) and Arthur begins to consider Daniel as a father-figure, even calling him Dad. this aspect, in my perspective as a brown man, is very sweet! Arthur after a lifetime of grief is able to reconcile with Daniel and both are able to get back something they lost (Arthur has a father again, Daniel gets to be a father again)
there’s also something to say about a brown man who never really had a father finding solace in another brown man who offers that sort of relationship, idk!!!
I just. really like observing the possible racial dynamics between the characters in this series
#brown Arthur Lester propaganda#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#daniel saltzman#bella saltzman#bella lester#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malev.posting#malevolent spoilers
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I don't know what caused all of us concurrently to have so much Maxiel feels in the past 42 hours or so. But I caught the bug, but instead of working on the 5 Daniel Ricciardo fics I'm writing, my brain decided it wanted to spend an hour (it was like 40mins) to write this Max Pov fic. MAXIEL.
Max loving Daniel through the years. As a friend. Honest.
It is unbetad, I literally word vomited this out. Haven't been posted on Ao3 yet bcos I might add to it sometime later, or it might be added to a longer piece I'm working on.
Words: Around 700ish words.
Max knew he loved Daniel three months into joining Red Bull. It wasn't one single thing, it was an accumulation of soft words, loud laughs, and gentle touches when Max felt like the world was ending because he couldn't fucking race as well as he should have, when he was barely containing his rage at the car not fucking being good enough, and when he felt like they were wasting time doing promos and other useless things that wasn't racing. It was that and all the ways Daniel defended him against the media and anyone else who said anything bad about him, even when it was the truth.
So of course Max went from having a little crush on Daniel to loving Daniel. It was very hard not to love Daniel. And even years later Max still could not understand those that hated Daniel.
Loving Daniel only increased the sex dreams Max had of Daniel. It was fine, Max had a handle on it. Daniel was very beautiful and liked to flirt, and Max matched Daniel with a similar energy. He loved Daniel, and if Daniel was ever serious about any of it, Max would of course jumped the man. But they weren't like that, and women was just easier when Max was still a F1 driver. So he kept on flirting, kept on pushing the line, and laughed uncontrollably as Daniel stuttered and stumbled over Max's words and actions.
Max never lost at anything, he was not losing "gay chicken" to Daniel.
And bit by bit Max was figuring out that he had a physical and mental type when it came to people he found attractive - dark haired and olive skinned and a beautiful smile. He liked them driven, funny, and a sliver of mean streak. He added older to the list when he met Kelly.
Max loved Daniel, and he knew Daniel at the very least liked him a lot, and when Daniel left Red Bull he still spent time with him, still defended him, and still laughed at his jokes, Max knew that Daniel loved him too. They weren't best friends, but they were friends who knew each other than almost anyone else could understand them because of their careers.
They spent years like that, having each other's back, loving each other, spending time together. They had their ups and downs like any friendship, months where they didn't speak to each other because they were angry at each other. But Max always knew that the silence was temporary because he knew Daniel, he trusted their friendship, and Daniel has never failed him before.
Max watched Daniel's career rise and fall, went from a bright shining star to crashing into the dirt making a crater with Daniel in the centre of its wreckage. And Max couldn't do one fucking thing beside be there, beside spend time with Daniel off track, beside sending messages of support.
Daniel was a good person, an excellent driver, and someone Max loved. It was frustrating. Everyone else in life talked about Daniel with hints of barely hidden regret, as if somehow Daniel was lesser than he was, as if he wasn't beautiful and talented and fucking driven.
Marko and Christian stopped talking about what they would differently with Daniel in his presence, stopped hinting at how Daniel was a coward who didn't fight. His father stopped making snide remarks about Daniel never being a good driver, and Kelly, well, Kelly stopped looking at Daniel with sharp eyes as if weighing his worth against her's in Max's life.
Max wasn't sure he wanted the answer to that.
There were many times Max wanted to punch everyone in fucking throat for them trying to rip pieces out of Daniel. He held back because he had control now. He made sure he supported Daniel more.
It didn't click together until Daniel had hugged him on international television, clung to him like a koala that Daniel had made Max touch all those years ago, and Daniel was so thin, soft skin over lean muscles and bones, the last bit of fat burnt away by the past few years.
And oh. The world had turned slightly on its axle, and Max realised that he didn't just love Daniel.
Well. Of course he was in love with Daniel.
Daniel was simply lovely.
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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Being a Book Wicked fan is truly tragic, because how can I ever begin to explain that the most developed friendship during the Shiz years was not between Elphaba and Glinda, but between Elphaba and Boq?
#wicked#those who know know#*insert drinking alone in the corner meme*#yeah remember when elphaba was helping dillamond with his research on animal dna and how it’s much closer to humans? i do#boq literally helped her and they discussed SO many things#i think overall the book spent more time on elphaba and boq on the project (plus crope and tibbett) than on elphaba and glinda#that’s why boq becoming so complacent in his later years hurt elphaba#granted elphaba always had a soft spot for glinda#but i felt it was the exact same feeling she had for nessarose#she treated both very similarly#glinda did have a gay crush for her tho. totally closeted
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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How would the Scoundrel react to Miss Emilia Stone, do you think? To give you an idea of who she is, the Threadbare Outrider is one of the alternate identities of Barnabus Moss, and possibly the closest to who he actually is - he's only still an egg because he's too busy with his job to give too much of a shit about being trans right now.
She is functionally the Hyde identity; open revolutionary, Parabolan wanderer, purveyor of extreme and generally unnecessary violence. I also considered naming her the Extremely Unlicensed Silverer - she has never actually fulfilled the requirements to become a proper silverer (she thinks the sunglasses look kind of dumb) but she offers equivalent services for cut-rate prices to people who can't afford a "real professional."
In terms of her actual personality, she is... frighteningly happy. To steal a phrase, she wields her joy like a hammer; judiciously and with great violence. Moss is basically drunk on life whenever he's her, and it very much shows. She is a release valve on all of his life's worries - whenever he gets too pissed off at his life as Moss or Haversham or the spy, he can just duck into Parabola and gut a few chessmen with a meathook to unwind.
Correspondingly, he gets really irritated under the hood when she has to act consistent with the persona rather than how he actually feels - for example, Emilia is the kind of person who doesn't really dislike anyone, so when someone pisses him off she can't really show it without breaking the cheer, and it is thoroughly upsetting to him.
I think original flavour Moss would probably be fascinated by the Scoundrel, from a professional standpoint - he has a degree in the Correspondence and the whole bat thing is very interesting - whilst simultaneously being deeply, deeply exhausted by the man's life choices. Meanwhile I think Emilia would enjoy doing this to him.
Thoughts?
first of all, love the OC dissertation, chewing ur little guy like a gummy bear as we speak
second of all, the scoundrel would probably react the same as they always do- with overwhelmingly smug manners and more than a little bit of "i'm better than you and i'm being generous and indulging you by existing in your presence"... at least at first.
depending on how their interactions go from there, the scoundrel would either be delightfully open to infodumping about the bat thing to the point of tedium, or needlessly spiteful for Literally No Reason aside from a vague sense of pettiness and jealousy. how dare she get to be so damnably happy all the time, how dare she act so damnably carefree about it, etcetera etcetera. whether or not they'd like to admit it, i could see them holding a grudge against emilia purely on the principle of (supposedly) having everything they've ever wanted.
which is to say, they absolutely get scrunched like a cat, and they are biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + b
#it's a bit like how the scoundrel responded to their TLC#all they've ever wanted was happiness and freedom from their myriad troubles. they kind of cant stand seeing people have that so easily#seeing people have it when they cant#bc why do they get to Simply Achieve It when she's (deluded herself into) giving up everything for it?#why do they get to be fulfilled and whole when her entire life has been marred by an emptiness in her soul??#it's not fair. it's Not Fair.#which of course drives them to sabotage that happiness out of spite. which usually backfires into making themself feel even worse#which drives their jealousy even more...#the scoundrel's mind is an ouroboros consuming itself in a misguided attempt and belief that All Of This will fix her#it will not fix her.#but it's really fun to see her bite her own tail and choke on it#anyway. tldr they'd probably get along with emilia at first but i feel like the irritation would build up a lot over time#and they'd also probably judge her for being bad at silvering#in their eyes at least#they take their job Very Seriously. wym you dont have a license. you are making them specifically look bad#(and everyone else they guess. but mostly them. the making them look bad part is obviously the most important part of this equation)#ask#long post#ty for the oc dissertation + hypothetical interaction it's very fun.. i love putting the scoundrel up against other people's FL guys#especially because so many would grate against him like fucked up gay cheese
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Lydia Doodle Dump!
#I’m figuring out how to capture that twelve year old sweetness in her face#We’ll figure it out!#Haha I know I mentioned her being sweet…#but I feel like she would just walk into a room and call Beetle gay.#And it might not be very canonical but I also have so many scenarios where she just hits him with Deez Nuts jokes#And he wouldn’t be any the wiser! It could never be canon. Still— I like imagining them acting like siblings#beetlebabes dni#do not tag as ship#toonjuice#procreate#beetlejuice fanart#my art#lydia deetz#beetlejuice movie#beetlejuice cartoon#beetlejuice#Lydia Deeeeeeeetz NUTS *air horns*#deez nuts
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I know I’ve made other posts talking about or alluding to this but like. obviously there are like the old hollywood movies in the sort of dyke subtext canon (all about eve, rebecca, johnny guitar, etc) but like. there are so many movies that like 10 people have seen but I have such a clear gay vision or interpretation for it. most of them aren’t even GOOD. and yet!!
like the great lie is the one that haunts me the most (or the women but I think that one is kind of different for me perhaps bc I’ve already talked about it here a lot or perhaps bc I think of it as being more well known and watched than I think it actually is? actually it’s probably that I think it is an overall good and well executed and entertaining movie which isn’t really true of most of these tbh). but I also think a lot about like when ladies meet, or old acquaintance, or sadie mckee, or the shining hour, or the model and the marriage broker, or a woman’s secret, or the bigamist, or craig’s wife, or born to be bad, or separate tables, or even dark victory to a degree. others too certainly those are just the ones that come to mind. for half of these it’s not even like oh these women are gay together it’s just like hey I think she’s a lesbian. and I’m right. but my genius will never be fully appreciated in my day unfortunately.
#a woman’s secret has kind of been haunting me since I watched it like a week or so ago in that it’s literally got so many interesting#pieces and facets and I find so much of it very interesting but they just like really don’t dig in or come together so it’s enough that#I think about it and not remotely satisfying which I’m beginning to think is just how I feel about nicholas ray’s stuff. I don’t really#have a large sample but like born to be bad is not a movie that I think is good but it has like infected me somehow. which i did and still#do largely attribute to joantaine. but like idk. and also I wanted to like Johnny guitar and obviously there’s a lot of interesting stuff#in there to dissect it just… feels unsatisfying/like it doesn’t come together. idk what it is.#also like it is fully sampling bias that across the three I listed as noted subtext and then all the others I listed#there’s uh. 4 joan crawford movies 4 bette davis movies 3 joan fontaine movies#but it’s still really funny to me lmao… I will say how did I not list ANY babs movies… that can’t be right… I mean like night nurse#and ladies they talk about def have some gay moments and like. walk on the wild side exists lmao#but I wouldn’t really consider any of those to be consistent with the thing I’m trying to describe here lol#anyways. I think that’s enough rambling for now.#old hollywood#my post#also I would happily expand on my vision for any of these lmao. it’s just that I think it generally requires a certain familiarity with the#movie itself and. a lot of these I wouldn’t necessarily recommend? not that they’re all bad just like. not incredible idk#which kind of hinders this a bit. and now like I could give background provide clips etc but then that’s requiring a level of effort#that I’m not gonna spontaneously exert while sitting in bed Thinking. which is what this post is lmao. (‘that’s enough rambling for now’#I said several tags ago… a fact which I could easily change but shan’t.)#(edit of prior tags to say that I wrote the tags before mentioning the women in this post bc idk for a moment I lived in a world in which#everyone knew the women was about dykes. so anyways it’s now 5 joan movies 4 joantaine movies#which is neat. the sampling bias is also fun bc like yes 5 joan movies is a lot to mention but I’ve seen like 30 joan movies so.#of course there are other movies of hers where I would be calling her gay but like im less invested. joantaine is a lot funnier to me bc#I’ve only actually seen 7 joantaine movies. and like ok including the bigamist is admittedly wild given that my queer interpretation of it#is like. her and ida lupino who do not so much as meet in the film. but the extent to which I wish they did fuels me)
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you cant tell me this is not romantic. you cant!!!!!!!!!!!
#aikatsu#cloudyscreams#aikatsu stars#liveblogging#homies is it gay to tenderly hold your 'friend and rival' and tell her i need her and only her#like i get that it COULD be very strong platonic feelings#but im literally aroacespec and have so many dear friends who i love to bits#and i still would not say this is that vibe#if anything its a howls moving castle romance vibe im not joking#ghibli romance in aikatsu stars real#also yume obviously has a lot of friends too including kohone#and while they are close they are nothing like laura and yume#case closed
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s1 luz was at least a little bit gay for willow i will not be told otherwise
idk if it was a full on crush but it was at least one of those types of nebulous not-quite-romantic not-quite-platonic "hahaha, unless..." type friendships that a lot of queer teens have, u know the ones
#girl was just walkin around sayin shit like ''you're right! my friend IS very cute!''#which can be just regular platonic bc luz is friendly like that but in this case i feel like it's A Little Bit Gay#eliot posts#toh#the owl house#luz noceda#willow park#just. remembering why i liked willuz/willumity so much.#i kinda headcanon willow as grey-aro and polyam (this literally came to me in a dream)#and i feel like her ideal relationship IS a kind of ambiguous sorta-but-not-quite-romantic sort of dealio#tho i also like the headcanons that she's just plain bi or pan or lesbian in this context too#bc again that sort of ambiguous friendship seems to be VERY common among queer teen friend groups (and not just aspec queers)#like it was A Thing between some of my high school friends and many other queer ppl i've talked to have said similar lmao#tho i also find the headcanon that she's 100% aroace and also uninterested in any relationships outside if friendship to be v fun#just like. basically everyone falling in love w her but her being totally uninterested#but being her friend is so Delightful that none of em rlly have any complaints there#like that scene in carmilla where dani turns down kirsch and says she just sees him as a friend and he gets really excited like#''yes! i am in the friend zone! she sees me as a friend!!! she's so cool i am excited to be her friend!''#willow taking after canon aroace icon lilith ''constantly turning down suitors but keeping their gifts'' clawthorne#my sister is just straight but this one time when she was in hs a guy asked her out w a massive tub of cheese puff balls#(she was obsessed w those things)#and she turned him down but kept the cheese puffs and ate them for like a solid month
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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Different anon here- I’m generally ok with mpreg existing. But the sheer volume of it in this fandom is pretty weird. Especially considering the source material… one of the great things about the unholy family (to me) is that it’s this family unit without the necessity for sexual reproduction. It’s so interesting because they all had lives outside of each other at some point so it’s part found family, part queer and yet biological parents. I think that’s one of the things I first loved about the 1994 movie and it’s a shame that aspect is overlooked
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Yeah, I totally agree on all counts. Like I don't usually bat an eye at mpreg (whatever floats your boat! I'm very good at scrolling, haha) but there have literally been times I've opened ao3 and have counted five or six fics on the front page of updated works that are mpreg which feels really disproportionate to the amount of fic that actually gets posted in this fandom?
I - - mmm, kind of wonder a little if its tied to some of this gender essentialist stuff that's coming up more and more both in this fandom, and in social media generally? There feels like there's this real desire to shoehorn them into a quote-unquote 'traditional nuclear family dynamic' which really feels like it's the antithesis of the show. Like you said, the fact that they've all had lives outside of each other is, and the fact that as a family they are both one found and made is, I feel, pretty crucial not just to their interpersonal dynamics, but also to each individual character?
#this kind of goes back to my original point too but there are also so many ways queer couples have children now?#a good friend of mine and her wife have just had a baby#and one of their best friends#who's a gay man#donated the sperm#which is like! not uncommon?#and he is loving getting to be fun uncle (and has 0 desire to be dad haha)#although apparently has been around quite a bit to help out which makes me very happy for ash and her wife#like idk if i really wanted to write a baby claudia fic#i feel like the obvious thing would be to write lily as the surrogate#especially because then you can keep the themes of the show with louis' ease with commodifying women's bodies by y'know#renting a womb#while also getting to keep lestat's messy feelings about being an outsider to louis and claudia if louis' the bio dad#or louis' weirdness about lestat being bi AND claudia being more like lestat than him if lestat's the bio dad#there's DRAMA to unpack there y'know?#but then i do remind myself that a lot of these sorts of fics don't want there to be drama hahaha#so whatever you could also keep it cute!#but yeah#it's really interesting#iwtv asks
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