#i have lots of lovely memories from my teenage years
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ajarofbees · 3 days ago
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TAASH & FIORE: even from the start i think the both of them kind of connected a bit as the two youngest members of the gang--i thiiiiiink taash is a few years younger but its nice to know someone your own age. taash sometimes looks down (feefee is the second shortest member of the gang! this is important to me!) and sees him as an excitable puppy running around in circles and think to themselves: 'huh. guess this is what it feels like to have a younger brother.'
they do friendly wrestling matches and yes the incredible height difference makes it very funny to watch.
while its not super apparent at first glance, i think they bond over having multiple parts of their identities: taash and their dual rivaini/qunari heritage as well as figuring out themselves, and feefee being a city elf and a grey warden (and being from southern thedas). its not a 1 to 1 thing but its a nice bridge where they can meet and understand each other a bit.
on a more lighthearted note, when taash finds out feefee actually knows how to swim and loves swimming, its GREAT. time to hit the rivaini beaches and start a splash fight with whoever else tagged along. they even show him a passing by rialto greenback from a distance, which is always very cool.
as for each other's 'important people'; feefee does get a little bit how complicated their relationship and feeligns about shathaan are--his own parents were Not Super Thrilled about him joining the grey wardens in the past and all. for taash's part--well, they already gave him a little bit of a shovel talk, but they already figured he and lace were a good pair. they do have a working pair of eyes, after all. as for his admiration for the inquisitor.... well, taash is thankfully very blunt and practical. they would probably point out that inquisitor lavellan is just a person and she probably had enough of people treating her like an idol.
overall, theyre friends!!! on the surface they seem like a little bit mismatched of a duo but when you look closer they have a lot of similarities that makes them connect with each other. though they officially stay with the lords, when its all over taash accompanies fiore when he finally returns to wycome. after all, he was there for them, they'll do the same in return. :D
Taash: So. How'd you get those? Fiore: Huh? Get what? Taash: Those scars on your face. Unless you don't wanna' talk about 'em. I'm not gonna' force you if it's a bad memory. Fiore: Haha, you know, I kind of forget they're there a lot of the time! Weird, right? I'll be honest, I don't really remember a lot when I got them--apparently I was mostly out of my mind with fever or somethin'. Taash: That sounds rough. Was it Grey Warden stuff? Fiore: Nah, I got this when I wasn't even a teenager--Ventori set up some plot in my hometown and I accidentally dislodged a piece of red lyrium that exploded. Pretty crazy, right? Haha, luckily Keeper Istamaethoriel was able to heal me up. Taash: Oh. That sucks. That Ventori did that I mean. I'm glad you survived it.
other rook bits:
-hakiem and taash sometimes have "important Lords business" which is just him experimenting with their fire breath to make more stuff explode. its scientific because he (sometimes) writes stuff down.
-in the beginning, dorothea would default a bit to treating taash like dietlinde, since the two are a little similar.
-dietlinde and taash routinely arm wrestle in the dining room.
-bacchus is extremely tickled by taash's admiration for the crows and the stories shathaan told baby taash. he also the main source for Fun Crow Stories, being completely willing to share embarrassing annecdotes about everyone he knows.
-vehris and taash have similar ways of speaking--though vehris is more quiet and taash is more to the point/not mincing words--so they get along well.
-cvetka ends up a little bit as the Cool Advice Giver like she was with feefee. many shenanigans are to be had. taash opens her eyes to a new career in dragonslaying, if the blights are ending.
-taash very bluntly tells dionysus his guitar playing and singing suck. he thinks this is so funny he falls off of his chair. they'll also toss him as a combat move.
Rook Introduction Hour 2.24.25
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Good morning, everyone! Good news: Taash Week is coming up on @datvcompanionweeks! It will be from Monday, March 10th - Sunday, March 16th! Only TWO WEEKS left!
To celebrate, today's Intro Hour will be centered around Taash!
How it works: I ask you a question about your Rook(s) and you answer it with as much brevity or verbosity as you desire. You can do this whenever you want, and I’ll reblog it + add some comments! There’s no time limit— if you want to do the older ones, they are collected here! (The post is updated on Fridays!)
Today's Question(s): What is your Rook's relationship with Taash? What do they like about them? Do they have a lot of experiences in common? What do Rook and Taash enjoy doing together? How does Rook help Taash work through their issues during the game? When Elgar'nan is defeated, do they continue to hang out-- does Rook continue to help Taash with their problems? How does Taash help Rook, in return? What do Taash and Rook think about the most important people in each other's lives? Lastly, if you want, write a unique banter between Taash and your Rook!
Answer whatever you like, and have fun!
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sapphosclown · 1 year ago
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i turned 20 this year and thought i’d have a breakdown over being “not being a teenager anymore”. but i didn’t, and you know what? i don’t miss my teenage years. i don’t long to go back and relive it. i don’t miss feeling helpless, and angry, and lost, and confused. i don’t miss those misplaced feelings. i don’t even care so much anymore that life didn’t happen the way i thought it was going to.
when i look back, all i had was fear of growing up, losing my youth. i didn’t even cherish the learning and maturing i was going through. i know so much more than i did at 15 and that was only 5 years ago. being a teenager is literally terrible and it’s so unfair that society wants us to think it’s the best times of our lives. no it’s not. it has good things, but in comparison to the whole rest of our lives, i really hope being 15 is not something i look up to achieving again. i want to be able to look in the mirror and have the 15 year old version of myself that lives in my head go “wow. we did it. we are living the life we’ve always wanted- the one we deserve”
don’t fear aging, embrace growing.
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sincerelyneo · 13 days ago
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so high school | l.hc
“no one’s ever had me. not like you…”
📀now playing: so high school by taylor swift
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❯ summary: Hyuck doesn’t care that high school was years ago; after learning his girlfriend’s experience was shitty, he’s determined to rewrite it for you. After all, he’s nothing if not smitten.
❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader
❯ genre: established relationship, fluff, eventual smut
❯ words: 6.4k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni, swearing, fingering, dirty talk, oral sex (male receiving), face fucking, exhibitionism, reader uses she/her pronouns, lots of gendered female terms, slight begging, brief possessiveness and jealousy bc it’s me, a brief cheating accusation but it’s stupid, hyuck being a cute boyfriend for 6k words.
an: did someone say haechan lover boy smut for valentine’s day? (they didn’t, lol. i wrote this for me, i love men in love)
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“I fucking loved high school,” Hyuck says, placing down his yearbook on the coffee table.
It had to be a few years old by now, stuffed at the back of one of your bookshelves. You’d found it while doing an annual declutter and handed it to him on a whim. Knowing your boyfriend, you figured he’d find it nostalgic, or funny, or both.
You glance at him from your spot on the couch, eyebrow arched. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He shifts, sitting up straighter.
“You were on the football team, babe. Voted prom king, had good grades, and probably never had to eat lunch alone,” you list off, counting on your fingers for dramatic effect. “I’d be shocked if you did hate high school.”
He laughs with a shake of his head, sinking back further into the sofa. “Okay, fine, maybe I was a little... popular.”
You roll your eyes, but a laugh slips out before you can help it. “A little? I bet you walked through the hallways like you were the lead in a drama or something stupid like that.”
He nods. “Damn right. I was the shit.”
You scoff, tossing a pillow in his direction. He’s such a cocky bastard—but you love that about him.
“Jealous?” he shoots back, smirking.
You try to playfully roll your eyes, but instead, a small frown pulls at your lips. You know he’s just teasing, messing around, but memories of junior and senior year creep into your mind uninvited. You’d never been outright bullied, but high school wasn’t exactly a highlight reel for you. 
It was a blur of sitting in the back row, trying to make yourself small enough to avoid attention. Lunches alone in the library. No group of friends. No teenage dream. Dances you skipped, pretending you didn’t care when your chest ached from watching your classmates gush over photos the Monday after.
So yeah, you were a little jealous.
“Yes, actually,” you say finally, voice quieter. “High school sucked for me.”
His grin falters, posture straightening. “What?”
“I mean, it wasn’t all bad,” you rush to explain, suddenly self-conscious. “I got through it, you know? I just wasn’t... you.”
Hyuck leans back, studying you with a look you don’t see often on him—concern, worry. “What do you mean you weren’t me?”
“I wasn’t popular or cool or good at sports. I didn’t have a big friend group, and I definitely didn’t win prom queen…not that I even went.”
Hyuck doesn’t respond right away, and when you finally glance up, you find him staring at you with an expression you can’t quite place. There’s no teasing glint in his eyes, no cocky smile playing at his lips. He just looks... sad.
“Wait,” he says, his voice softer now. “You didn’t go to prom?”
You shrug. “Didn’t really have anyone to go with.”
He blinks at you like you just told him you spent your teenage years stranded on a deserted island, which for the likes of Hyuck, not attending prom was the justified equivalent. 
“Are you serious?”
“Hyuck, it’s not a big deal,” you say quickly, waving him off. “High school just wasn’t my thing.”
“Not a big deal?” he repeats. “Babe, prom is like... the peak of high school. It’s the one night everyone remembers forever. How did no one ask you? I can’t wrap my head around that.”
You can’t help but laugh, despite the tightness in your chest. “Not everyone peaked in high school, Hyuck. Some of us just... took it for what it was: school.”
His expression softens even more, guilt creeping into his features as he scoots closer, his thigh brushing yours. “You know you deserved better than that, right?”
“Hyuck—”
“I mean it,” he says firmly, cupping your face in his hands. “If I’d been there, you would’ve been my prom queen. Hell, I’d have skipped the whole damn thing just to hang out with you if you didn’t wanna go.”
The honeyed warmth in his voice makes your throat tighten, and you hate how easily he can do this—take the ache of old memories and replace it with something softer, lighter. Something you almost want to believe.
“Too bad we didn’t meet until after high school,” you say, forcing a smile.
Hyuck falters—but only for a moment. His gaze lingers on you as if a thought is forming behind his dark eyes.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss against your forehead. “Too bad.”
You don’t think anything of it when he pulls you into his chest, resting his chin on your head as the conversation drifts elsewhere. But later, when he’s holding you close and you’re half-asleep, Hyuck is still thinking. Planning.
Because Lee Donghyuck might not be able to rewrite your past, but he’s damn sure going to be the best part of your future—trust. 
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Hyuck just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The coolest person he’d ever met—his girlfriend, his soulmate—hadn’t gotten to live the high school teenage dream. No prom, no stupid corsages, no dancing barefoot at the end of the night because the heels were too much. Nothing.
It didn’t make sense. You were too fucking beautiful to be treated as background noise by those losers. Hyuck remembers the day he met you—a fully grown man—and you made him a stuttering mess. He’s never asked Mark for flirting advice ever in his life, but fuck, he wasn’t about to miss his chance with you. 
How could they just disregard you?
He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. How did no one ask you out? Were they blind? Or just stupid? What kind of idiot couldn’t see what he saw every day?
The thought of you sitting at home on prom night, like it didn’t matter, made his chest ache. He couldn’t picture it—because you were you, the type of person every cheesy teen movie was written about: beautiful, funny, and so damn perfect. And yet... those assholes in high school had somehow missed it.
And even though the sick, selfish, possessive side of him is so fucking grateful that he’s the only one that’s ever had you, and those assholes missed out, he still can’t help but obsess over it. He couldn’t change the past, no matter how much he wanted to, and that realization burned. 
Hyuck groans, tipping his head back. “I’m losing it,” he mutters, mostly to himself.
But he couldn’t let it go. And because he was Lee fucking Donghyuck, when something got under his skin, he acted on it. Which is why, two days later, he finds himself standing in the middle of a small-town gymnasium, arms crossed over his chest as he surveys the scene in front of him.
“Is this the best you can do?” he asks, unimpressed.
Mark, balancing precariously on a ladder while stringing up fairy lights, glares down at him. “Dude, shut the fuck up,” he snaps. “You gave us two days to put this together. Do you even know how hard it was to convince the principal? I had to name-drop you!” 
Hyuck ignores him, his eyes sweeping over the room again. Mark wasn’t wrong—he had given his friends next to no time to work with. But that didn’t stop him from wanting it to be perfect. You deserved perfect.
A cheap speaker sits on the ground, currently blasting some old prom playlist Mark had found online. The string lights slowly started taking shape, casting a soft glow across the gym. There is a table in the corner with a bowl of something pink and suspicious-looking, and a few chairs scattered around. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.
Mark climbs down from the ladder, dusting his hands on his jeans. “I think it looks fine.”
“Fine?” Hyuck repeats, scoffing. “Mark, this is a high school prom. It’s supposed to be magical or whatever. This just looks like... a school event.”
“Because it is a school event,” Mark shoots back, rolling his eyes. “Look, man, if you wanted a five-star gala, maybe you shouldn’t have sprung this on me last minute.”
Hyuck sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t trying to be an ass, but he wanted, needed, to do this for you. You’d brushed off your high school experience like it was no big deal, but he could tell it meant something to you. Maybe not in a way you wanted to admit, but it was there.
And now it was his job—no, his mission—to fix it.
“Just... add more lights,” Hyuck says finally. “And maybe some balloons? Chenle, do we have balloons?”
Chenle, who was sweeping the floors, looked back with a shake of his head, scurrying off before he got caught in the crossfire. 
Mark groans. “Hyuck, if we add any more lights, the entire gym’s gonna blow a fuse. And no, we don’t have balloons. You’re lucky I even managed to get lights.”
Hyuck sighs again, running a hand through his hair. He had money, sure—that was the only reason he’d managed to rent out the gym on such short notice—but even he couldn’t buy time.
Still, as he looked around the gym, he felt a flicker of pride. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. He’d move mountains for you if he had to. And if this half-assed prom was the closest he could get, then so be it.
Mark claps a hand on his shoulder, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Hey,” he says, softer now. “She’s gonna love it, dude. Stop stressing out.”
Hyuck nods, swallowing hard. “Yeah.”
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Your boyfriend’s acting weird. Well, weirder than usual.
Hyuck’s always been a little odd—but that’s one of the things you love about him. The endless hobbies he picks up and abandons in a week like juggling, the random facts he collects from late-night YouTube rabbit holes, and his never-ending need to one-up his friends in bets and challenges. But this? This feels different. Like it’s more than some dumb dare or fleeting obsession.
For the past two days, he’s been unusually secretive. You’ve caught him whispering with Mark on the phone more than once, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial hush whenever you’d walk into the room. And then there was yesterday—when you brought coffee to his rehearsal. You barely stepped inside before the entire group went awkwardly silent, and Hyuck practically herded you back out the door. Hyuck, who usually couldn’t keep his hands off you in public and loved showing you off, suddenly turning shy…suspicious doesn’t even begin to cover it.
And let’s not forget the disappearing act last night. He came home late, shrugging off your questions with a grin and the vague excuse of “guy stuff.” Guy stuff. That was the moment you knew something was up.
And so, you’ve been sitting on the couch, stewing, waiting for him to get home from rehearsal. The seconds drag, and with each passing minute, your frustration builds. By the time you hear the jingle of his keys in the door, you’re ready to burst.
Hyuck stumbles in, his hair slightly mussed, a garment bag slung over his shoulder. He looks exhausted but excited, strange. He barely gets a foot inside before you’re on him.
“Are you cheating on me?”
His jaw drops, the grin on his face disappearing instantly, eyes blinking at you like you’ve just accused him of arson. You’d honestly prefer it if he had. “What?! No! Why would you even—what the fuck?”
“You’ve been acting so weird!” you snap, crossing your arms. “The sneaky phone calls, the late nights, the whispering, the weird excuses—guy stuff? Do you think I was born yesterday?”
That makes him laugh and you swear you see red. He thinks this is funny? You’ll show him funny. 
“If you wanted to break up with me, Hyuck, don’t insult me by sneaking around! Just—just tell me to my face!” Your voice wavers, hurt bubbling in your throat as you glare at him.
Hyuck’s expression softens instantly, his eyebrows furrowing. “Hey, hey, wait—babe, no. That’s not what’s happening here, I swear.”
You narrow your eyes, pointing at the garment bag. “Oh yeah? What’s that, then? Some outfit for your other girlfriend?”
His mouth drops open, and then he barks out a laugh, though he quickly smothers it when he sees your glare. “No! Oh my God, no. Look, just… this isn’t how I wanted to do this,” he pinches his temples “Could you just go upstairs and put this on, okay?” He holds the bag out to you, practically shoving it into your hands.
“Excuse me?” you quirk an eyebrow.
“Just—trust me, babe. Please. Go upstairs, put this on, and come back down when you’re ready.”
You stand there, staring at him like he’s lost his mind. Because he must have. “Hyuck, I am not—”
“Please,” he interrupts, his voice softer now. “Just this once. Do this for me. It’ll all make sense.”
His eyes meet yours, and for all the frustration boiling under your skin, you can’t ignore the quiet sincerity in his voice. Because even though his recent actions have been enough to make your paranoia spike, he’s still your Hyuck—and you trust your Hyuck.
With a sharp huff, you snatch the garment bag from his hands and stomp upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind you before he can say another word. Your pulse is racing, irritation curling hot in your chest as you yank the zipper down and pull the dress out with more force than necessary.
It’s beautiful. And that pisses you off even more.
Who does he think he is? Sneaking around all week, ignoring you for days, then showing up with a pretty dress and expecting you to put it on without question?
Annoying. He’s so annoying.
Still scowling, you step into the dress, the silky fabric gliding over your skin like it was made for you, and knowing Hyuck he’d probably ask someone to do that for him. It fits perfectly, hugging every curve, and when you catch your reflection in the mirror, your anger stutters—just for a second. It’s beautiful. You look beautiful.
Damn it.
You swipe at your eyes before anything ridiculous like tears can form and square your shoulders. Fine. You’ll wear the dress. But you’re not going to let him off the hook so easily. Throwing the door open, you march downstairs, irritation simmering beneath the surface of your foundation. “Lee Donghyuck, you better—”
But you freeze.
Because he’s standing at the bottom of the steps in an equally beautiful suit, rocking on his heels, with a small, nervous smile playing on his lips. He’s holding a corsage in his hands—delicate flowers wrapped in silk, matching your dress perfectly.
And then, all at once, it clicks.
That fucking yearbook you found. The conversation that came after it. The sneaking around. The secrecy. 
Your breath catches in your throat, warmth creeping up your neck as a blush dusts his skin. He chews his lip, eyes flickering up to meet yours, and if you didn’t know him any better, you’d swear he was nervous.
Hyuck never gets nervous.
“Do you wanna rewrite prom with me?”
And just like that, you break.
Tears slip down your cheeks before you can stop them, and Hyuck’s smile falters just slightly as he steps forward, hand reaching out to you, as if he’s ready to catch you, to hold you close, if you were to fall. But you don’t fall. You just nod, because it feels impossible to do anything else.
How could you say no to him? How could you possibly deny the one person in the world who would do something like this for you—not because he had to, but because he wanted to, because he loves you to a point you never thought possible because he needs you to be happy.
“I love you,” you choke out through your happy tears, the words tumbling from your lips before you can stop them.
Hyuck’s worry shifts into something warmer, something softer. He steps closer, brushing his thumb gently against your cheek to wipe away the tear.
“Does that mean we’re not breaking up, then?” His voice is teasing, but there’s a tenderness underneath, a soft hope in his eyes that mirrors the love you just confessed.
Your heart skips a beat, and you nod through blurry eyes, a small smile breaking through. “Not even close.”
His face splits into the brightest grin you’ve ever seen, and before you can say anything else, he’s pulling you into his arms, rocking you side to side like he’s never going to let go. It’s overwhelming—the warmth of him, the scent of his cologne, the steady beat of his heart against your ear. And for once, you let yourself lean into it, let yourself feel just how much he loves you, because God, does he know how to show it.
“I love you too, you know,” he murmurs, voice quieter now, meant just for you. “Like, stupidly. Like, I’m gonna remind you every day until you’re sick of me, because I never want you to think I’m cheating on you ever again.”
You huff a laugh, sniffling. “I don’t think I could ever be sick of you.”
“Mm, we’ll see about that.” He pulls back just enough to look at you, taking in the glassiness in your eyes, the heat in your cheeks. Then, with a smirk, he presses the corsage into your hands. “Your favourite colour.”
“Now,” he says, stepping back and offering his arm, “if we don’t leave soon, Mark might actually rip my balls off.”
It takes you a second to register what he means, and when you glance past him, you see Mark leaning against his car, arms crossed, exuding pure suffering. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here, but you know your Hyuck can be very convincing. 
“Are you two done?” Mark calls, exasperated. “Because I have better things to do than play chauffeur for your little rom-com tonight.”
“Liar!” Hyuck yells, dragging you toward the car. “If you weren’t here, you’d be playing video games with Chenle or something. Your life is boring and bitchless!”
Mark groans but doesn’t deny it.
“Wait! One more thing,” Hyuck gasps, stopping you just as you’re about to step into the car. Before you can question it, he’s already sprinting back inside. A few seconds later, he bursts through the door, holding up a letterman jacket that doesn’t match your old school’s colours, but his. 
And when he drapes it over your shoulders, his fingers lingering just a little longer than necessary, his gaze catches on his surname stitched across your back. His cheeks flush that familiar shade of pink, and for once, he’s the one left speechless.
You clutch your hands to the jacket, making sure it doesn’t fall off and you can’t stop smiling. Because even though he was just being a fouled-mouthed menace to his friend. He’s clearly only ever sweet and soft with you. Hyuck opens the car door for you and he slides in beside you, lacing his fingers through yours like it’s second nature, like they belong. You look down at your joined hands, his thumb stroking slow circles against your skin, and warmth blooms in your chest.
The corsage, the letterman, the chauffeur to prom. It’s silly. It’s cheesy. It’s the kind of thing you used to roll your eyes at in movies as a teenager. But right now, with him, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Because he’s rewriting how you feel about the cheesy stuff, giving you the giddy, reckless kind of love you never got to have. 
Letting his hand rest on your thigh, making you stifle your sighs as it slowly crept up your flesh. His touch is heedless and uncaring as if Mark wasn’t inches away in the front seat. It’s compulsive, carless, and so ridiculously juvenile—it’s so high school.
Which feels very on-brand as you pull up to an old brick building. Mark cuts the engine, allowing Hyuck to round the car and open your car door before holding your hand tight and walking you towards the football field.
So many memories flooded back to you as soon as he opened the gate that led to the field. Heels on the grass, on the sacred sanctuary you never had the chance to belong on. Suddenly you’re sixteen again and Hyuck leds you over to the bleachers, climbing up several rows before taking a seat and pulling you down next to him. 
"Are we trespassing right now?" you ask, slipping your arms into his letterman to ward off the winter chill. "I know you love me, but you don’t have to commit a crime for me."
Hyuck scoffs, a playful smirk on his lips. "Please, you know I wouldn’t think twice about committing a crime for you if you asked me to." He pauses, then adds, "But no, we’re not trespassing. This is my old high school, and since I'm such an outstanding alumni, I had some strings pulled. They left me the key for tonight."
You roll your eyes, trying to hide your smile. "So they did all this just for you, huh?"
“Don’t look at me like that, this is for us.”
"Uh-huh," you tease. "I must say, knowing how to ball in high school seems to have its perks. I was in the wrong clubs clearly. You’re basically the only person I know who managed to continue peaking after high school."
Hyuck’s smile falters, a flicker of something sad crossing his face. His eyes drift downward, and you catch that same troubled look he had when you found his yearbook—when he learned how different your high school experiences were. You don’t want him to feel like that, not when he’s trying so hard to fix it. But you don’t want him to fix it either, because as messed up as your teenage years were, they led you to him. No one’s ever had you. Not like him anyway. 
You slide your hand over his, squeezing gently as you move closer. “You didn’t have to do all this for me, you know?”
Hyuck chuckles, that flicker of sadness vanishing as quickly as it came. “Don’t say that. You haven’t even seen what I’ve got planned inside yet. I had all the boys stressed over fairy lights and balloons all week.”
Knowing how much effort he’s put in makes you smile, your fingers drifting up to trace the curve of his cheek. He’s so beautiful. So in love. So undeniably yours.
“I’m excited to see it,” you say. “But right now, I just want to be here. Is that okay? I never really got to hang out on the bleachers.”
“Will you yell at me if I say that a sick part of me loves that you never cheered for other guys playing football?”
You shake your head with a smile. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m just saying,” he continues, undeterred. “Yeah, I wanna kill those assholes for never inviting you to a game, for not taking you to prom. But I also love that I get to be the one to do it with you. Even if we’re adults.”
You bite your lip, feigning hesitation. “Well, I have some information I think you might like.”
Hyuck raises a brow. “Oh?”
“I always wanted to make out under the bleachers,” you admit, heat creeping up your neck. “Call me cliché, but when I was a freshman, I imagined having my first kiss with Lee Felix under there.”
His nose crinkles instantly. “I don’t know who that is, but I hate him.” Hyuck scoffs, but his hands are already sliding around your waist, pulling you closer. “Still… this night is about me making your fantasies come true. So fuck that guy and let me kiss you, baby.”
And you do—let his lips capture yours, kissing you until they’re swollen and puffy, until they mould perfectly to his, like they were always meant to. Until there’s no doubt that they, and you, belong to him.
Hyuck wastes no time, scooping you into his arms with ease, carrying you into the shadows beneath the rickety metal frame. And then his lips are on yours again—hungry, unrelenting. It’s everything you ever imagined. No—better. Because it’s him and you. 
His hand trails up your body as he presses you against one of the cold metal pillars, calloused fingers graze your thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Years of football have roughened his touch, but it’s the way he holds you—like he can’t get enough, like he never will—that really makes your breath hitch. And you almost want to laugh, because you’re pretty sure most people fuck after prom, not before it. But this is you and Hyuck. You’ve never played by the rules, never followed the scripted path. You never wanted to.
And that’s exactly why a soft, desperate “Please,” slips from your lips as his fingers venture higher, until they’re brushing against the hem of your panties.
“Cute,” he smiles and murmurs against your lips, grinning as his fingers slip beneath the fabric, his cool touch grazing your clit. You shiver, and it only makes him that more pleased—more proud. His other hand glides up your stomach, sneaking beneath your dress until he’s palming your breast, his thumb teasing over your nipple.
“You know…” he muses, voice dripping with amusement, “I paid good money for this dress. It’d be a shame to ruin it.”
“Please. You’d never buy me a dress you didn’t plan on ruining.”
Hyuck giggles, shaking his head, but before you can run that smart mouth of yours again, his finger slips so easily into your pussy, and you gasp, clinging to his shoulders.
“Fuck,” he breathes against your ear, voice thick with need. “I love that you know me so well.”
His fingers keep working you, desperate and wild—because if you know Hyuck so well, he knows you even better. Knows your body like it’s his to worship. And when he adds a second finger, stretching you open, pleasure floods through you so intensely your eyes flutter shut, your head tipping back as a moan catches in your throat.
But that won’t do.
Hyuck likes to watch you. Likes to see the way your lips part, the way your brows knit together, the way your pupils blow wide with nothing but him. He wants you to know—no, needs you to know—that he’s the one making you feel this good. That it’s his touch unravelling you, his name you should be thinking about, whimpering, crying out.
So the second your lashes flicker, his fingers slow, teasing, withholding. You whimper, forced to open your eyes again, hazy and weak—just the way he likes them—just the way he needs them to be before he picks up his pace.
He’s meticulous, careful—determined to make you cum right here, right now. If your fantasy was just to make out under the bleachers, Hyuck is going to take it further, push it past anything you ever imagined. He’s going to make you cum here, again and again, until this moment is burned into your memory. Until you can never think about high school, about this field, about these bleachers, without thinking about him. About the way he touched you. About the way he made it perfect. He always makes everything perfect. 
“Need you to cum all over my fingers, pretty girl. Come on,” he murmurs, pinching your clit as he tries to coax an orgasm out of you. And it doesn’t take long. The honeyed rasp of his voice, the relentless rhythm of his fingers, the way his eyes stay locked on yours—it’s all too much. You shatter around him with a high-pitched moan.
“Atta girl,” he breathes, watching you with nothing but admiration. “So fucking pretty when you cum for me.”
Your mind is fuzzy, his words melting into white noise as you come down from your high on shaky legs. If it weren’t for the pillar at your back, you’re certain you’d be a puddle on the floor. Hyuck holds you close, his hand stroking your hair as he murmurs soft praises against your ear—something about being so pretty, so good, so his. But all you can focus on is the growing bulge in his pants, the evidence of just how much he wants you. A bulge you put there. One you’re aching to take care of.
You start to drop to your knees, and he sucks in a breath, his eyes locked on yours.
“Stop,” he commands harshly, stepping back as if something’s shifted. It forces you to stand up straight again, confusion crossing your face.
“Don’t you want me to—”
“Oh, I fucking want you to, and you’re going to,” he growls. Then, he peels off his suit jacket and drapes it on the concrete floor between you two. “Now, you can get on your knees for me, Y/N,” he orders, his voice rough and commanding, but then it cracks, desperately. “Please.”
You lower yourself onto his suit jacket, kneeling before him, palms pressing firmly against his thighs. His erection is hard, straining through his suit pants, but he’s waited—waited until he knew you’d be most comfortable because that’s just who he is. 
“Look at you,” he says, running his thumb over your mouth. “Puffy lips parted and ready for me. Big fucking eyes, so innocent, so needy.”
“Only for you, Hyuck,” you breathe softly as you start undoing his belt and his jaw visibly ticks.
You’ve sucked his cock before—of course you have, and you love it. And still, he looks at you like it’s the first time, nostrils flaring, pupils dilated, as he drinks in every detail of your eagerness. He’s so hungry to feel you, to get lost in you—so feral.
Using his forefinger, he lifts your chin, forcing your chin and attention on him. “I know, baby. Only me. Always me.”
You run your tongue over your lower lip, and he tracks the entire thing, looking like some kind of predator.
“Take it out.”
You comply, dropping his pants to his ankles and tugging his boxer briefs down with them. His cock springs free, angry veins visible and the tip glistening. The sight of his straining cock right in front of you pulls this desperate sound from deep in his throat. He traces every inch of your face as if he plans to paint it soon, and you’d let him.
His palm glides over your head again, fingers weaving through your hair, cupping the back of your skull to keep you anchored in place. Rough and dominant—just how he likes it, and just how you crave it.
“I need to fuck your mouth, baby. Seeing you cum in my letterman has got me so damn hard. I need this pretty mouth,” he whimpers as his palm rests on your scalp. “You’re gonna let me do that aren’t you? Because you’re such a good fucking girl.”
You nod and squirm in anticipation, using the tip of your tongue to lick a path over his slit, savouring the salty taste from the bead of precum. His eyes instantly roll back and you grip his shaft with one hand and lick a path from root to tip.
“Mmm,” he hums. “Just like that,” he hisses between his teeth as his entire body vibrates.
You look up at him, fluttering your lashes over heavy eyes. Because the only thing Hyuck craves more than his own pleasure is the sight of yours. You round your lips, sucking him in slowly. Your head bobs as you work your tongue in sync with your lips, but he’s so big, a fact you’ll never get used to. He hits the back of your throat and you hold him there, swallowing around his tip, tears welling at the corners of your eyes as your throat tightens with a gentle choke.
"Fuck—" He lurches forward, one hand gripping the pillar for support while the other tugs at your hair, pulling you off him just long enough to catch your breath—because he's nothing if not considerate.
Hyuck runs his thumb by the corner of your eye, gathering the moisture that pooled there.
“I’m ruining your makeup,” he muses, lips curling into a smirk. “I had prom pictures planned.”
A blush creeps on your cheeks, “We don’t have to take them.”
“We’re taking them.” There’s no question in his tone. It’s simply a statement. A demand. “Then I’m keeping a copy in my wallet, so next time I’m on tour, fisting my cock, I can think about you. About this."
You nod, breath hitching. "O-okay."
"Okay." His thumb drags over your lip again, teasing until you part for him, wrapping around it. He presses down, tugging lightly. "So agreeable. So obedient. Aren’t you?"
"Yes," you breathe.
His smirk deepens. "Good. So you'll keep sucking my cock, won't you?"
You don’t even bother with words—too eager to please, too determined to finish what you started. Your fingers wrap around him, stroking once before you take him back into your mouth, sucking deep before pulling off with a lewd pop. Then you do it again, following his cues, giving him exactly what you know he loves. A slow flick of your tongue along the underside of his head, a firm squeeze as you cup his balls, and then you’re taking him to the back of your throat. His entire abdomen tenses. His breathing turns ragged.
"Fuck." His curse is sharp as he pulls back, just enough to look at you. "I’m gonna cum. You gonna let me cum in your mouth, baby?"
You nod eagerly, mascara streaking your cheeks, spit glistening at the corner of your lips. "Please, Hyuck."
His smirk is wicked. "Are you gonna be a good little girlfriend and swallow it all for me?"
You nod—far too enthusiastically.
"Good. Now, take a deep breath, baby—'cause it’s the last one you’re getting for a while."
He runs a gentle thumb over your cheekbone before guiding your head forward. Your lips part instinctively, wrapping around him as he sets the pace, fucking your mouth with a steady rhythm. His palms cover your ears, his hips roll with precision—nothing but pure pleasure as he chases his high. And you let him. You take it, let him use you because he’s done all of this for you tonight. Because he deserves his reward.
Truthfully, watching Hyuck unravel beneath you—knowing you’re the one making him this needy, this desperate to cum—is your own reward. Because seeing him lost in pure bliss is the hottest thing you’ve ever witnessed.
Your fingernails dig into his skin, leaving faint crescents as he keeps his pace—steady, deliberate—but always mindful, always making sure you can breathe. He checks in with his eyes, just like you said—considerate.
You moan around his length, hips shifting instinctively, searching for friction. And of course, Hyuck notices. He always notices.
"Are you getting turned on from sucking me off, Y/N?" he taunts, through a tight restraint breath. "So wet, even after I already made you cum." He pulls out of your mouth, gaze dark. "Show me. Show me how wet sucking my cock has made you.”
Heat prickles your skin as you reach under your dress, the one he bought, and gather your arousal on two fingers. You bring them up, letting him see the proof, the evidence of just how much you want him.
“Fuck,” he growls, as deep brown eyes turn black as they lock on your fingers. “So fucking obedient.” 
Hyuck leans in, grasping your wrist before guiding your fingers into his mouth. His tongue flicks over the tips, slow and careful, savouring the taste—the proof of how badly he’s wrecked you. Of how much you like him, love him. 
He nods toward his cock, covered in your saliva, hard and twitching, ready to cum. "Make me cum, baby. Please."
You hold his eye contact, grip his cock, and bring your mouth back to cover him. He moans, head falling back, and you work his length with your mouth and hand, doing your best to take what you can’t handle. It doesn’t take long until his hips jerk in short, sloppy movements. His breath comes out in ragged gasps, moans soft but pitched, the sound of him unravelling.
“Y/N,” he cries out your name in a whimper of desperation. One hand finds yours, holding it tenderly, while the other braces on the pillar behind you. Then, he cums—hard.
He tries to keep his eyes locked on yours, because that’s his favourite part, but the sensation overwhelms him, and he has to shut them. Every muscle in his body tightens as hot, forceful pulses hit the back of your throat.
“So pretty like this,” he pants breathlessly. “Mouth full of my cum.” The pad of his thumb traces down the line of your throat. “You’re gonna swallow it, aren’t you?”
It’s not a question, and you don’t hesitate. You swallow all of him, but it’s not enough. You need more—need him inside of you.
“Fuck me, please, Hyuck.”
He shakes his head, a teasing smile tugging at his lips and then he laughs. He uses the hand he’s had entangled with yours to pull you up to your feet, steadying you gently. “I can’t. Not here.”
You pout, disappointed, your body aching for him. “Why not?”
His smile widens as he adjusts your dress, pulling the fabric down to cover you properly, the moment feeling suddenly too sweet considering he was just fucking your throat.
“Because,” he draws out playfully, “I planned a prom, and like all cheesy teenagers, I don’t plan to fuck you here.”
You quirk a brow, crossing your arms across your body. But before you can say anything, Hyuck fumbles with his suit jacket, dropping to the floor to search the pockets. His hands hover for a second before he pulls out a room key, holding it up like some kind of trophy.
You scoff with a mix of amusement and disbelief. “Very cliché.”
He grins at you. “I think we have pictures to take.”
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hermitcraftx · 2 months ago
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the only reason dream everrrr had a platform or was popular is bc everyone made thirst traps of. his blond fake sona for years (he has fucking BROWN HAIR???) and then when he revealed he was a pedophile creepy weirdo right after he revealed his face everyone that made a career making daddy dream manhunt NSFW didn't stop blogging because some people would fuck steaming piles of human garbage if it was white and had abs. like every dream stan I've ever met is perpetually living in 2021 and dream is too and if that's not the biggest sign of the world's most colossal fumble I don't know what is. genuinely the only talent dream has is being uncannily manipulative and vague to try and get away with everything and play the victim later on after he says genuine rancid dogshit but he's not even the best at that. genuinely he's the definition of a career made by other people and if he thinks for a second his little white suburban fake redneck yuppy mr beast wannabe that he's going to successfully be a right wing grifter after being known as the gogy wogy uwu yaoi queerbait streamer (and yes I do think he's genuinely the ONLY real person that word applies to) then he's fucking insane. ain't nobody fucks with him. he's a footnote in Minecraft history. the worst people alive in the community don't fuck with him. tommyinnit is having tea with jacksepticeye and doing comedy shows and having fun with all the remaining good internet ogs and regularly pulling lots of views meanwhile the only way dream stays relevant out of his cesspool wretch infested pedophile apologist echo chamber that is his fanbase is regularly triggering dsmp drama to feel sorry for himself. can't do manhunt without cheating and it wasn't even an original idea another abuser took that from him can't do an smp tommyinnit made that for him it really seems to me on a psychological level that to a degree some of that cdream shit wasn't roleplay because dream knew the most memorable part of the biggest part of his career would be tommyinnit forever and always. and now he has to fight for tommyinnit beef scraps saying slurs and shit when he's not even involved getting way too comfortable after Trump gets elected when tommy barely pays him more mind than he paid Logan Paul when he WORKED with dream for YEARS. tommyinnit gets to be known as the man who fostered love and care for his fan base, an all around good person and joy to be around and a ray of light in the dark space that is the mcyt space, and a guy never backed down on his morals and ethics whereas dreams only claim to fame now are being a cheating bigoted ableist creepy pedophile-esque freak with no concept of proper boss/employee conduct or creator/fan conduct with a Republican bastard and a sexual assaulter as friends who was seen as mildly hot by teenagers in 2021 without y'know being able to comprehend you're not supposed to reciprocate. and I know it keeps him up at night because otherwise he wouldn't try and regain relevancy by starting shit with Tommy every 6 months. is it because tommy is an adult now, clay??? when people look back on fond memories of fandom in 20-30 years not a single person will be able to look at anything dream has been apart of without grimacing not even his fans because I know all those arguments on behalf of a nasty ass pervert will not be fond memories. the only original thing he's done is say the r slur- oh wait. I mean groom minors- oh wait. I mean be a bigoted racist- oh wait. I mean have gross misconduct with a fan- oh wait. I mean start drama a lot in hopes of getting attention- oh wait. genuinely the most pathetic shadow nothingburger ass of a man I've ever seen in my life may dogs eat his face off in the middle of the night.
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lovelettersfromluna · 9 months ago
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Dream Girl
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Summary: Did you seriously think you’d be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.
an: I’m so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, there’s just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support 🤍
Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellie’s fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.
With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that you’d spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didn’t exist.
Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.
Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.
It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.
It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.
Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.
It was all just too fucking hard.
But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.
You weren’t even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.
Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.
You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadn’t touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that you’d see any messages or calls from the worried girl.
So you aren’t surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didn’t pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.
You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.
Hi
I’m sorry I haven’t responded.
Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk
You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesn’t take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, she’s read it and already typing out her message back.
Hey, don’t apologize. I was just worried about you
Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?
You don’t even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.
That sounds great.
I’ll meet you there
Cool :)
Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when you’re finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you aren’t even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.
But there was no use in putting it off any further, so you’re quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.
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It’s almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.
Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.
You hadn’t even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.
Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.
But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.
It was almost like magic.
You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.
Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. You’re surprised to see that there’s now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.
Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.
You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.
“Here, lemme help you” Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.
She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.
“Come on now, would hate to make you drop those” she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.
“Fuck…sorry…I…um…” you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.
“No worries, you alright?” She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.
God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.
You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.
“I bought this for you…I figured you hadn’t eaten yet so…” you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.
Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.
She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.
“So sweet of you…c’mon, there’s some places to sit right up this way” she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.
Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. It’s truly something out of a dream….
It made you wish this was all a dream.
You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.
You couldn’t even look at her, and she hated that.
She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.
“I hope you didn’t bring me out here to apologize…because you don’t have to” her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldn’t be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.
You don’t respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.
“I get that things are probably hard…and I shouldn’t even have kissed you that night…so I’m sorry” she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.
“Don’t…don’t apologize” you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.
“I caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked with” you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.
“I probably should have seen it coming….but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored it” you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, who’s already staring intently as she listens to you.
“Ellie I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that I’m using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between us….but I just need you to know that I’m hurting, and it’s just….hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happened” your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.
But you don’t let them flow free. You don’t want to cry anymore, not over this.
“I…I just need time….” You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is you’re going through, what it is you’re experiencing.
It scares you when she doesn’t answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. It’s a lot, and you know that, but there’s a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.
She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. “You don’t even have to ask….you know I’d understand no matter what”
You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you don’t deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what you’re giving her.
You two haven’t even addressed what actually happened that night.
There’s nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. It’s weak, and it isn’t much, but it’s all you can mange right now.
Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. “As good of a baker that Mary Beth is….i think we need some real food” Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat” she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.
She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.
You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasn’t her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.
She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.
“As friends” she affirms gently.
She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesn’t want to read too much into, something that she knows she can’t dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.
A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. “Yeah…as friends” you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellie’s warmth as she guides you to the diner.
Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.
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Your mind was in absolute shambles.
It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didn’t want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.
That was until you got home.
The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellie’s hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.
You couldn’t sleep a wink.
It felt as though you hadn’t even talked to her, as if things hadn’t glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.
None of that ever came.
Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.
But you knew you couldn’t turn to her for a distraction, you couldn’t use her to occupy your mind from facing things that you’d much rather ignore. That wasn’t fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.
You couldn’t do that to Ellie.
You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.
The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment you’re stepping out of the car.
The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.
And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.
Ellie.
You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.
Regardless of the fact that it didn’t belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised you’d be together forever, for as long as you both lived.
The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.
You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.
Once you’re stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.
You’re convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment you’re diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.
Your mother always told you she thought she’d given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.
It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. It’s almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you weren’t alone, letting you know they were there with you.
You don’t even realize it but you’ve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth you’d brought from home.
The book you’ve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes you’d find the perfect husband.
What would they think of your divorce?
It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.
The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.
“I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you here! What a surprise!” Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.
You hadn’t seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that she’d even remembered your name.
You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.
“Good to see you Lilac….going for a swim?” You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.
“Mhm! It’s too hot…bless Ellie’s heart for sharin’ this place with me. Don’t know what I’d do without it” she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.
You know she doesn’t mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since that’s just the kind of girl Ellie was.
But there’s just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.
Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.
Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. “It’s pretty great out here…I’m surprised it isn’t so packed. Seems we got lucky” you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.
She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.
“You read those too? I love them! I just finished the first two” she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.
“Really? Most people think they’re super corny” you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.
“Honey I’m a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to people” she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.
Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.
“You’re a hopeless romantic? But…Lilac you’re gorgeous. I wouldn’t be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with you” you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.
“Don’t you dare! I’m awful at talking to people” she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.
“If I’m being honest…it’s not the guys here that I want…” her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.
You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but she’s quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. “But let’s not get into that! M’glad you’re here to join me today” she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.
And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.
You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it, Lilac” you hum out softly.
If there was anything you didn’t expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.
Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.
The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.
“Stop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to him” you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.
“He’s still an idiot, some people never change I fear” she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.
“Ellie was right about you, you know? You really are somethin’ special” she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadn’t thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.
It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.
You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. “Shut up….you’ll blow my head up” you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.
“Ahh I should get going…we shouldn’t be on the roads too late” you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.
You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey? You okay?” You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.
She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. “I know we don’t know each other well…but…I feel like you’ll be my only help with this” she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. “Of course you can..” you mumble out softly.
She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. “I…think I like Ellie” she breaths out, as if she’d been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.
Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.
You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly you’re shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellie’s hand on her waist, hers on Ellie’s arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you could’ve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.
When you don’t speak, she continues.
“And I just…you and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do you…think she’d like me back?” She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.
You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it might’ve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.
And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that you’re doing. She’s a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and she’s unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.
Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.
The both of them owe you nothing.
You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. “I think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, Lilac….you should go for it” you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that! You’re an angel” she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.
You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.
You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. “You didn’t need me…you’ll be great on your own” you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.
She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. “Right…get home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this week” she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.
And suddenly you’re left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you won’t be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.
But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.
Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.
While it all hurts, you know that there’s no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldn’t happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.
But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.
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There’s something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.
You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.
However as you’ve grown older, there’s something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that you’ve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.
That, and the fact that these days you’ll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.
Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joel’s house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. You’d picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.
So although your mind drifted to places you didn’t often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.
Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress they’d been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didn’t mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.
It wasn’t long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.
Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.
You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.
The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.
“Ellie…didn’t think you were coming over” you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.
“Was in the neighborhood….I thought I’d stop by” she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.
Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why she’s here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.
“You…haven’t been around lately” she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.
It was just as you suspected.
You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. It’s so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever you’re not looking into her eyes.
“Oh…I’ve just been uh…dealing with some stuff” you’re quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. “I’m fine…honest” you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.
You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that she’s frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something that’s bothering her.
You hope she’ll leave after you tell her you’re fine.
But she doesn’t. You don’t hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.
You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.
So you need to get rid of her.
You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.
It looks like she hasn’t slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.
But you can’t. Because things aren’t the same anymore.
You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. “Well…I have lots to do inside…more house work…dinner” you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.
“Did I do something wrong?” She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that she’d rather not say.
It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.
“Wrong? Ellie…I’ve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?” You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.
Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.
“Why would you tell Lilac that there’s something worth looking for between her and I…why would you…” her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.
And soon it all starts making sense.
You wish Lilac wouldn’t have said anything. You wish she wouldn’t have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.
But for the love of god…did she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?
You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. “I….she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked you…and she asked me if I thought she should pursue you” you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.
“And you told her that was a good idea?” She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.
“Yeah? Why not? Lilac is…she’s fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as her” you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.
But Ellie isn’t finished with you, because she’s quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.
“Ellie come on…I have things to do…you need to go” you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.
“You know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like you’re playing some sick joke on me” she’s standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.
“Is pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until I’ve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think it’ll take to get rid of me?” She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.
But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.
“I never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be happy with someone else” you explain to her before you finally feel as though you’ve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.
Before you’re fully there, Ellie’s voice is echoing off the walls.
“But I can’t be happy with someone else!” She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.
You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.
“How could I possibly be happy with anyone else when you’re all I fucking think about….” Her voice is tired, and it’s almost as if she’s begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.
Begging for you.
“From moment we had our first kiss….to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the city…I’ve only ever wanted you” you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.
“It’s pathetic, and I’ve tried to suck it up for your sake because I know….you’re going through a tough time after that moron did what she did….but I can’t fucking hide anymore” she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.
Your back is still turned to her, and you know she’s right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that you’ve done, all that you’ve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.
But you feel all of it break the moment Ellie’s strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.
“Look at me….please angel…” she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.
When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.
Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. “I can’t…I don’t wanna pretend like I’m not still in love-“ you’re quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.
“Don’t…don’t say it” you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.
You don’t think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someone’s lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellie’s, flashbacks of you’re wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.
It’s scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.
Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, you’re cutting her off.
“I told you already Ellie…I’m not….i can’t do this again. I can’t give myself to someone like I did with her” your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.
She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. “I get it….I get that you’re hurting from what happened, but I can’t keep going on without you knowing anymore….” She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.
“I’ve….god I’ve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And I’m sorry for what happened, and I understand if I’m just a childhood fling for you, but I’d rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what I’ve felt all these years” she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.
You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you haven’t felt the same way? But now it’s different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when it’s Ellie?
Your Ellie?
She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.
And if they can’t? She needs to hear you say it out loud.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same” she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.
“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promise” she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.
There’s images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something you’ll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that it’s supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.
And then there’s something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you don’t even notice it.
It’s memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. It’s soft, and it’s easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.
As you’re looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.
You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesn’t hurt as bad, long as you’re focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.
Because when you’re with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.
You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.
“I can’t do that….” Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.
You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
“Because I….feel the same way” you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.
“Jesus…c’mere” she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.
You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.
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You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.
One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someone’s house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.
You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.
“Don’t you think we have enough drinks baby?” Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.
“It’s almost 100 degrees outside, Ellie…I don’t think too many things to drink is even a possibility” you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I bought” you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.
“It’s too hotttt….wanna be inside with you” she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.
You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. “I know baby….but your father will be very upset if he doesn’t have at least one beer with you…come on pretty girl” you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.
“Fine…but come out with me” she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.
You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.
“Oh honey let me help you with that!” You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.
“There you are! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show…” you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.
She giggled softly as she groaned. “Did you know that this party of yours is causin’ traffic out there?? Everyone’s dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hair” she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.
After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like you’d robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that she’d get over it in no time, you were still scared that you’d lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.
You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.
And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.
You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.
Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.
“Lemonade anyone?” You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.
You don’t miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.
And later that night, when everyone’s left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.
You’re tucked away into Ellie’s side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.
“Did you have fun today?” You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.
“The best time baby….haven’t seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long time…you did good angel” she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.
But the warmth doesn’t just settle in your cheeks.
A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.
Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. “Something wrong princess?” She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.
When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you she’d take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.
At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.
But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didn’t even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.
So now…God…you needed her more than anything.
You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.
Her frown deepened when you didn’t answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. “Baby? What’s the matter?” She questions once again.
You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.
“I….need you Ellie…need you so bad” you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. “Need me? But angel I’m right-“ her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.
Her eyes widen in realization.
“Fuck…” she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.
“Are you sure baby? We can…fuck…we don’t have to…” she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.
You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left Ellie…of course I’m sure…” you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.
Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.
“That’s my girl…fuck….been needy huh?” She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.
You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.
The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed since your divorce. It’s nothing like kissing your ex wife, but it’s everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.
“Fuck…want you to…wanna feel your pussy on mine baby…can you do that for me?” She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.
Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.
Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.
You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.
Once she’s had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. She’s feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.
And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.
The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.
“F-fuck! Oh my….fuuuuckkkk…that’s it baby…fuck yourself down onto my pussy…oh my….ha-fuck” she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.
Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. It’s like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.
“Ellieee…fuck! Feels…feels so good..” you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.
Ellie can’t take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. “Come on baby…cum with me, yeah?” She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.
Your heart feels like it’ll just burst.
“I…mmm…fuck….Ellie I love you…I love you so much…” you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.
“That’s my fucking girl…I love you so much baby…more than you’ll ever know…” she moans out to you.
And suddenly, you see colors.
Your chest feels like you’ve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellie’s as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like it’ll kill you both right then and there.
The come down is hard, because it’s almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.
She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that she’ll give you everything you could ever want and need.
And while you’ve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shit….
You believe her, because this time? It’ll be different.
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jifloulette · 3 months ago
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➳ you've changed a lot ever since, i'm still stuck in the same palce we left.
itoshi sae runs into you and he sees what changed with you ever since he left .
heads up . . ! implied breakup, angst with a hopeful ending
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the first time sae sees you again was in the convenience store by the school he used to go to.
he vaguely remembers you waiting for him by the gate, greeting him with a beaming smile and a wave. he chuckles a bit remembering that. he also vaguely remembers how you would show him your favorite snacks and drinks to get at that same store, telling him that if you ever get mad at him, he should buy these for you and he'll have your heart. he tries to remember more memories the two of you created but it's no use, the thought of you at the back of his mind is all a blur. was it you he was with at the beach? was it you he was with as he went to buy ice cream? was it you that screamed his name so loud at his games? was it you who he kissed under the fireworks? maybe if he hadn't tried to push you away then you would see how much he appreciates you, how much he loves you. but at the same time, he impulsively erased any memory of you in his brain. it's like you were some specks of dust in the corner of his room that no matter how much he cleaned it, it'll still come back. it's funny, no? seeing you with different people whom he didn't recognize, looking at them with that same smile of yours, arms interlocked with each other, happily chatting about who knows what.
the strange thing he noticed is that the snacks you bought and ate were different than what you used to buy with him. he was confused, what do you mean you don't buy the packaged mochis anymore? the hi-chews? the lychee ramunes? to be fair, he did leave you behind as well for 4 years. who knows what happened and what changed in you within those 1,461 days? it was a long time to wait for someone who broke your heart, you were bound to get tired of waiting. it's not like he ever tried to reply to your messages and calls daily, most of them left delivered and in voicemail. another thing he noticed was your hair. you had let it grow unlike when you were with him. you used to cut it whenever you noticed it getting longer, saying that you didn't like having long hair because it was a hassle to take care of. oh and, your hair was a different color too, from h/c to a lighter color, it fit you that's for sure. oh, the things he'd do just so he could run his fingers through your hair just like he did back then.
it's like he was stuck in time, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. he stayed there, looking at you. seeing how you were slowly losing your teenage features. you were way taller, hell, you might've been a few inches taller than him. the next thing he knew was that his legs were on autopilot. they walked towards the convenience store. you were going to see him sooner or later, but fuck, he wasn't prepared. he doesn't even know what he's going to say once you see him. were you even going to notice him at all? were you going to ignore him the same way he did to you? "sae? is that you?", it was only when you talked that sae realized he had gone inside the store. you waved to the boy as you walked closer to him. he noticed your voice was deeper, it was still beautiful to hear though. even after all these years, he still loved hearing your honey-like voice. "it's been a minute, huh? how have you been? i thought you were in Spain?" you ask, "oh.. uh, i'm doing well. i just came back here to renew my passport for a good 3 days. got hungry so i went here." he replies, "so, you won't be here for long, huh." you added. "i missed you." you suddenly say, catching him off guard. "i.. did too." sae returns, hearing your friends call for you, you quickly say goodbye to him. "wait a bit, guys! uh, i guess this is goodbye, itoshi sae?" you tell him, "goodbye, y/n. i'm sorry i couldn't love you the same way you loved me." sae states, the last part he whispered. time was cruel for letting the two of you talk for only a minute or two, he'd do anything he could just to let you stay for a few more minutes.
with that, you had left with your friends. god, if only he stopped you. if only he said that he could ask his assistant to give him a week or so to stay in japan, maybe then the spark that was once firing with love and passion between the two of you would be relit. it was his fault for leaving you with the mess of heartbreak anyways, he was cruel for doing that to you, he knows that. sae thought that he had moved on, but it was just a façade he created to hide the guilt of leaving what the two of you could've been behind. he had left but he had never moved on, you had stayed yet you were the one to move on first. so, a question lingers in his mind as he gives the lady his ticket, which of the two of you really left the other?
the second time sae sees you again was at the airport.
all of a sudden, he heard a voice shouting his name. a voice he knew all too well. it was your voice, calling for him. he stopped dead in his tracks and looked back, seeing you wave at him with that same light in your eyes. he quickly runs to you, his assistant saying that the flight will leave soon but he could care less. "w-what are you doing here, y/n?" sae asks you, "well.. you did say you were going to stay for only 3 days, i also asked your mom about when you were going to leave so here i am!" you answer, smiling at him. he quickly dropped his bags and hugged you, oh so tightly. he didn't care if people were around, you were here with him after all. he thanks whatever god is out there for giving him another chance to hold you like this again. maybe, just maybe, he can relight the dying flame between the two of you.
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©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.
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formulamar · 5 months ago
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she’s a ferrari - part 4
charles leclerc x yn!ferrari reader
fc: Addison Rae
summary: as a child, the great-grand daughter of Enzo Ferrari used to spend her weekends hanging around the paddock. but once she went off to university her appearances became rare. what happens when she starts working for Ferrari? and... one of the drivers steals her heart.
READ PART THREE HERE
DECEMBER 2023
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charlesleclerc16updates
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liked by forzararri and 2,372 others
charlesleclerc16updates: CHARLES AND YN RECENTLY!
120 comments
f1fan0: i’m so glad they’re not letting that silly article come between them 🫶
-> scunteriafer: exactly!!!! that article is ridiculous charles would never do something like that
cl16fan: favs 🥹💞
lechairs: was the second pic taken in monaco??
-> charlesleclerc16fan: italy
-> charlnor: OHHHHHHH 🤔
ynferrari
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liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalonso and 112,921 others
ynferrari: galaaaaaa ❤️‍🔥 big thank you to everyone who helped me organize this big event! it was my honor to plan it! had so much fun, see you next year!
8,532 comments
ynscousin: forza familia ❤️
liked by ynferrari
carlossainz55: Gracias for a great party, Yn!
-> ynferrari: thank you for your energy!!! love you carlitos!!!
tifosi1722: UR SO BEAUTIFUL YN
ynferrarifan08: most gorgeous hostesses ever
user: ruining our sport and our team
iamrebeccad: had so much fun 💞
liked by ynferrari
user: so now she’s just getting involved with everything huh...
ynbff: we love planner yn
charles_leclerc: Until next time❤️
liked by ynferrari
-> tifosi1722: SO CONTRACT RESIGNED OR WHAT????
-> charlnor: so there WILL be a next time then???
comments on this post have been limited
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JANUARY 2023
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rumorhasitf1
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liked by fernandofan97, charlesfan75 and 4,626 others
rumorhasitf1: 🚨 RUMOR CONFIRMED 🚨
The dream continues for Charles Leclerc in RED.
Leclerc and Ferrari have extended their contract.
430 comments
charlnor: living out his childhood dream 🥹
tifosi028: i’m so happy!!!! the team loves him
princecharles16: further proof he is il pridestinato ❤️❤️❤️❤️
f1fan5: LEGENDARY
charlesfan83: he's staying home :)
ferrarienthusiast38: GRANDEEEEEEE
f1fan33: i seriously can't imagine him anywhere else. life is good.
scuderiaferrari and ynferrari
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liked by F1, susie_wolff and 350,892 others
ynferrari: I've had the rare privilege of witnessing the beautiful madness of motorsport right in front of my eyes. I grew up running around on track, moving car sketches from the dinner table, holding the car parts by my fingerprints. A plethora of memories that, sure I adored, but for the longest time was unable to acknowledge the significance of.
It may sound silly but it wasn't until I was a teenager that I began to realize not everyone got to be so close to their favorite sport. When I turned fifteen I got into the habit of walking around the grandstands before the race started and talking with other girls my age. These conversations taught me a lot. At nearly every race, I would hear a variation of "It's my dream to drive an F1 car." After a chorus of "Mine too!" there would be an awkward realization that dream was nearly impossible to accomplish. Women, weren't widely accepted in motorsport. Being a female fan was difficult enough already. Imagine trying to be a driver?
Then, I did start to imagine. Young girls from all around the world dying to experience the adrenaline. Just once. To feel the champagne coat them. Just once. Or even to be able to sit in an F1 car. Just once. A small moment that could change their lives forever.
When Susie reached out to me and shared her aspirations for creating an all-female racing series, I knew it would restore hope in the dreams of young girls all over the world. When she offered me an opportunity to help make this a reality I never considered saying anything but yes. I'm overjoyed to join Prema Racing, F1 Academy and Susie on this journey. I only dream of witnessing other women experience what I have so many times, running on track, peeking at the sketches and touching the car so gently because you're afraid of breaking it. And even more, I hope they cross the finish line with an indescribable feeling pulsing through their bodies. I hope they all hear their anthem on the top step. We can make this happen. Thank you to everyone on this project, thank you Susie, thank you @/f1 and THANK YOU FAMIGLIA FERRARI! (Ferrari family)
147,982 comments
susie_wolff: What a beautiful post, YN. Thank you for believing in the vision.
-> ynferrari: ❤
cl16fan: i'm actually sobbing. i love you so much. thank you for doing this.
-> ynferrari: thank you for supporting it :)
lec4: this is amazing, you're amazing!!!!
lando_norris: ❤
-> lando_norris: btw I'm glad you get to put that degree to use. It looked difficult.
-> ynferrari: oh if you only knew...
ferrarifan62: you described it perfectly.
charlnor: ok did not expect to ball my eyes out first thing in the morning but god this is beautiful.
charles_leclerc: Can't wait to see everything you accomplish ❤️
-> ynferrari: ti amo ❤️
-> lechairs: so after seeing this interaction I started crying again
-> cl16fan: literally me too
lordpercevalfan: i love you girl. you left me speechless. i'm so excited to watch!!!
fernando_alonso: Muy orgulloso ❤ (very proud)
liked by ynferrari
charles_leclerc’s story
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⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩
formulaamar🎬: okay please don’t hate me… it’s been forever 😭😭😭 school and work have had me on a leash!!!!!! but here is the FINAL part of she’s a ferrari. i wasn’t originally planning on getting so emotional but i think it makes it special! i’ll try being more active :) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!!!
taglist 🌷🏷️: @agmoon03 @janeh22 @kindestofkings @ttokkisbee @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @lottalove4evelyn@1800-love-me@blushmimi @emryb @majasophieanna@heavy-vettel @tvdtw4ever @harrysdimple05 @chelle1306
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veethefreeelf · 1 year ago
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How many chances are too many chances? Y.JH
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This is part 2 to ‘How many times does it take to get smarter?’ Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions and I’M SORRY ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ
Summary: 
It’s been 6 months since the night you and Jeonghan went your separate ways. You’re sure he has moved on and you… are working on moving on. Nothing can go wrong, right?
Wordcount: 14k (SORRY)
Warnings: pussy slapping, some spanking, slut is used a lot, oral f. receiving (face-sitting), vaginal penetration - unprotected sex, Jeonghan is hot and bossy - dom af, cream-pie, slight dumbification 
Requested: yes, by popular demand 
P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters
It’s been 6 months since you had seen each other. Since you told him everything you had been holding back for years and he walked away from you. He walked away from your friendship as if everything you two had shared over the years had been meaningless. As if you were replaceable.
You were doing okay. In the first few weeks you had cried yourself to sleep. You even destroyed all the pictures you had with him like a teenager in a movie. But eventually, it started getting easier. Waking up and not getting a single text from him or call during the day got easier. You started getting used to the silence.
You had also put the pictures you ripped apart back together. Very clumsily but you tried. You loved some of those pictures and they contained some of your very favorite memories with him and all the boys. You couldn’t get rid of it. You couldn’t also look at them so after you fixed them, you decided they would now live in a permanent corner in your closet in a box and hopefully, one day, you’ll be able to look at them again and smile.
In these 6 months, things have been going well with everything else in your life. You got a promotion. You and your family had been closer than ever and you had great friends who had helped you put everything behind you. Well… most of your friends.
Some of them, like the one calling you right now, wanted nothing more but for the both of you ‘to stop being fucking idiots and be together’. It’s been a struggle balancing seeing the boys and not seeing Jeonghan. You had mostly skipped all of your usual gatherings because you knew he would be there. You knew you would be the one losing the boys. They had been friends for far longer than you had been in their lives, so when a falling out like this happens, of course, you would be the one that would walk away.
This however, has made all the boys very annoyed. They have all called you at some point to tell you they were angry at you and wanted you back with them. ‘It isn’t fair’ they kept telling you.
You agree. Nothing about this is fair. It’s sad. For everyone. Everyone lost something, somehow and you blame yourself for it.
You should answer the phone though, otherwise, the boy known as your twin would cause absolute mayhem in all of your lives. He has already threatened you about it enough times for you to know he would do it without hesitation.
“Hello, Kwannie. Calling in the middle of the day is not very on brand for you. You good?” you asked.
“I’m amazing. I am calling you in the middle of the day because you have decided to ignore Soonyoung and he is now pouting and making my life hell. I have many questions. Number one: How dare you?” Seungkwan is the first one they use when they want something from you. Fair enough. Not even you want to deal with the anger of your friend.
“Kwannie… Now, now… That’s no way to speak to me even if you are using Office quotes which I very much appreciate” you said with a teasing tone.
“Haha very funny, Y/N. You have been hilarious in the past 6 months, you know that? Amazing. And as much as I would LOVE for you to continue being this way, I am the one that has to deal with the consequences of you ghosting all of us” he stated in an incredibly monotonous tone. You know what’s coming next and it’s mostly why you have avoided them all.
“Seungkwan, I haven’t ghosted any of you. I’m busy, you know that… That’s all…” you said in your best apologetic tone.
He laughed dryly and added: “You can’t be serious. I know you’re busy, promotion and all. But you also know after everything that happened, communication between us and you has been extremely difficult. You barely show up to any of our usual outings, you don’t speak in the group chat. Look… I get it, I do. But we shouldn’t all be punished because one of us is a complete idiot, and I know you know that too”.
You knew he was right, they didn’t deserve any of it. It wasn’t their fault. But how can you just show up to things with Jeonghan there? How can you join in the group chat with everyone while you know you have his number blocked and deleted everything related to him on your phone? 
You had done a pretty good job moving on in every other part of your life. But not here, not with the boys. You didn’t know how. You hadn’t found that balance yet and you weren’t sure you were ready to see him yet. Or at all.
“Your silence is deafening, Y/N” Seungkwan spoke on the other side of the line.
“I’m sorry… You know I am but… I’m not ready, Seungkwan. And to be honest, I’m not sure I ever will be” you said sadly.
“Hey… We’re your friends too, you know? Don’t push us away, please. Not anymore. That’s all we’re asking. Well… Soonyoung is also asking for you to come to his party this Saturday. The guys’ performance team was picked to go to the international competition and he wants you there to celebrate. We all do”.
Seungkwan always knew what to say to get you to cave. It was why everyone called you twins, you always knew what to say to get the other one to do whatever you wanted, no matter what. 
“They made it? That’s fucking amazing. Tell them--”
“Tell them yourself, Y/N. Saturday. Soonyoung’s place. 8:30. Not gonna lie to you. He’ll be there. But you don’t have to interact with him. It will be a big party and I won’t leave your side. Promise.” he interrupted you but you get it.
You’re not sure if you should go. This doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. But you miss them. All of them. Hanging out like before, playing beer pong, letting Seungkwan destroy everyone at Karaoke…
“And this has nothing to do with your personal interest in beating Shua and Vernon at beer pong, Boo Seungkwan?” you asked to lighten the mood a bit.
“Well… If your falling out with Jeonghan gives me the opportunity to pair up with you after all these years, finally, and destroy them… I call that an added bonus!” he said jokingly.
“Is there a theme? Hoshi always has a theme…” you asked.
“College. Yes, I know… Don’t ask. He said college and everyone went with it” he said with a distaste but you know he loves Hoshi more than he would like to admit. Even if he swore to keep calling him Soonyoung out of spite.
“And, if I go, which by the way, I am not saying that I will… You won’t leave my side? The whole night?” you asked and he reassured you right away.
“Of course. I promise. He won’t have a chance to talk to you, I’ll keep him away. I would also volunteer to take your phone but we both know you have him blocked so that’s not going to be necessary”. 
Weird. You haven’t told anyone you blocked Jeonghan. I mean, it’s an easy assumption to make but he seemed confident when he said it. You wondered how he knew.
After you promised you would think about it and heard Hoshi cheering in the background, you talked a bit more about your lives and what has been going on and you hung up after a while of catching up.
You spent the rest of your Sunday thinking about this. You know Seungkwan will keep his promise and you know this isn’t a trap but… you’re not ready to see him.
You don’t know if you’ll be strong enough not to speak to him. Sure, you haven’t spoken to him in the last 6 months but you have thought about unblocking him multiple times. Maybe going to this party is not the best idea.
Friday night comes at you fast. You were so busy the whole week that the week flew by and you are now panicking about tomorrow. You hadn’t thought about this party most of the week, you hadn’t had time and here you were. In front of your closet, trying to pick clothes that say ‘college’ apparently and wondering if you should even go at all.
You know if you called any one of them right now and told them you weren’t going, they would collectively be mad at you and even plot to get you there somehow.
It’s too late to back out. You’re going tomorrow. And… you’ll be fine. Seungkwan will be with you and you will hang out with the boys and you will ignore him. 
You started laughing out loud. Ignore him? Please, you want to think you are so important in his life but if you were, he wouldn’t have left you the way he did. He probably doesn’t care that you’re going. Why would he even want to speak with you? Leaving was his choice. 
After 30 minutes of hurting yourself and staring at your closet, you start getting several messages from all the boys. You knew it. They weren’t going to let you out of this one and they had decided to collectively torture you. Using Shua and Vernon’s emotional blackmail was a bit much but you knew they were throwing everything at you to make sure you were going.
You pulled out your regular college outfit and set it in your chair next to your bed, made yourself some warm tea and went to the couch to binge a show. ‘Hopefully the tea and the show will make me fall asleep’ you thought.
You were wrong. You barely slept. You kept moving around in bed, trying to fall asleep. Heart beating out of your chest. You don’t know how you’ll survive this.
You decided to keep busy the whole day. It had worked during the week so you went to visit your sister and see your nephew. He would keep you occupied. He had brought a light into your life you didn’t know could be there and you know he will always keep you entertained and you will do the same for him.
This had all gone well until your sister tells you they have a birthday party to attend at 4:30 so you’d have to leave pretty soon.
Great. Of course. 
As soon as you got home, you got a FaceTime call from Lily. 
Lily was your best friend since middle school. You had been through everything together and you were as close as sisters. You had introduced her to the boys shortly after you had met them and she fit right in. Not only that but she fell in love. She and Seungcheol have been together since they met. ‘Love at first sight’ they both said. You had always been jealous of that. It had always been so easy for them. Meeting, falling in love, growing together. You were also unbelievably happy for them, especially Lily. She deserved the world.
“Let me guess… Outfit check?” you asked after answering the call.
“Duh! Let me see what you chose! We could match tonight. It’s been such a long time since we wore matching outfits, Y/N! Since college actually, which is the theme. Do you see how perfect this is???” she asked excitedly.
“There’s a reason why we haven’t done that since college, Lil” you laughed. 
“Oh come on! It would be hilarious!” she tried to convince you.
“Seungcheol left you high and dry, huh? So now you come to me for a matching outfit? Your second choice, really? Hmm… Not very convincing, I must say” you started teasing her.
“Hey, it’s not my fault you are both boring…” she said pouting.
“Look, I already picked it out. You’re not gonna like it, so Seungcheol is probably your best option between the two of us” you laughed as you warned her.
You knew her taste, she had always been way braver than you when it came to outfits for parties and, only on special occasions, did you let her win and change your whole outfit. This is definitely not one of those times. She knew that too.
“Fine. Don’t need either of you. See you there. Will be mad” she said and hung up on you.
You knew the game, she’ll pretend to be angry but by the time the party starts and you’re there she has already forgotten and all the love comes back immediately.
It was still fairly early. 5PM. You had 3 and a half hours to kill. You were tired. You had barely slept. ‘A nap it is’ you thought.
It sounded like a great idea and it felt like a great idea until you woke up and realized you had forgotten to set your alarm. It was now 9PM and your phone was blowing up.
Everyone was pissed. Damage control. Call Hoshi. He seemed the angriest from all the texts and missed calls you had. You explained it to him and told him you will be there. He sounded skeptical but he finally let you off the phone to get ready.
You had gotten ready in record time and managed to get to the party before 10PM. 
As soon as you walked in, you felt at home. You missed this. So much. Too much.
You hear several screams and noise and you know you've been spotted.Seungkwan and Hoshi rush over to you being the loudest people in the room as usual.
“You boys sure know how to make a girl feel welcome” you tell them with a big smile.
“Took you long enough. The beer pong tournament will start soon. Start drinking, warm-up. Come on, Y/L/N. This is THE YEAR” Seungkwan tells you.
“Quiet, Seungkwan. This is the outfit you chose, really?” Hoshi looks you up and down.
“How dare you? I spent most of my college years in this sporty outfit. I look amazing, thank you very much” you stated and squinted your eyes at him.
“You also didn’t get laid often in college did you, Y/N?” he asked cockily.
“Well, not all of us can be the slut of the campus, Hoshi. You earned that title, very early on” you teased him.
“I missed you… Never disappear again, we will all chase you down” Hoshi said sincerely.
“Yeah. yeah. Emotional get together, we are all in tears, wow. Now, let’s go, Y/N. We need to destroy them. Warm up” Seungkwan interrupted your moment with Hoshi. 
Suddenly, you see out of the corner of your eye movement towards you three. 
 Shua, Vernon and Seokmin are all running towards you. Seokmin picks you up and spins you around very excitedly.
“Is this a rom-com in the nineties? Put her down, Seokmin, we all missed her and want a well deserved hug” Shua said.
You hugged the three boys. Vernon didn’t say a word, just gave you a knowing nod. Very typical. 
“Congratulations on the promotion, Y/N! We all heard about it and we are so happy for you. You worked so hard, you earned it” Seokmin said while holding your hand.
“Yeah, we wanted to take you out to celebrate but… it’s been hard reaching you most of the time” Vernon said looking in your eyes. There it is. The guilt trip. You deserved this and they knew who to choose to make you feel that way.
“I know, Hansol. I’m sorry. I’ll be better from now on. Promise” you said sincerely. 
While you were all silent, sharing this moment, a scream, more like a screech, echoed through the party and you all looked in it’s direction.
Lily. Yup. Very obvious. She is walking as fast as she can in her heels towards you with a huge smile on her face and with Seungcheol right behind her.
And there he was. Right behind Seungcheol. Walking in your direction. 
And he wasn’t alone. Of course. Next to him was this cute, small girl with big eyes. She looked so innocent and small. Just his type.
All of your worries disappear. He’s not going to talk to you. He never cared. You truly had been such a fool for so long. You wonder how you never saw through it. It doesn’t matter. You decide to focus on the people in front of you that truly love you and are so happy to see you.
“You were right about the outfit. I hate it” Lily says after hugging you and dropping her smile.
You rolled your eyes. 
“Yeah, yeah, it’s the reason I didn’t get laid in college. You’re too late for that joke, Lil. But thanks, for the clear and unconditional support on your side, as usual” you said annoyed.
“Come on… It’s not the only reason… Your resting bitch face and bombastic side eye were the main reasons you didn’t get laid in college” she said and everyone laughed.
“Okay, it’s been nice seeing you all. Leaving now. See you all in a year” you started to turn away.
“No way you’re leaving. It’s been months, you owe us this. Better bring your A-game tonight, Y/N. Some of us aren’t in a merciful mood” Seungcheol pulled you back into the group.
“That’s all you got for me, Seungcheol? You’re getting soft” you said, challenging him.
“It’s your fault. Left me all alone with all of them. You brought this on yourself” he said, narrowing his eyes at you.
“Hi, Y/N. Congratulations on the promotion” Jeonghan spoke, almost whispering. He sounded nervous. 
Everyone whipped their heads around to look at Jeonghan and then you. They kept looking between the two of you. Some of them expected you to blow up and some of them expected you to be polite and cordial. You surprised all of them.
You looked away from Jeonghan without speaking a word. You turned to Seungkwan and locked your arm with his.
“So? Lead me to our victory, partner. Or should I replace you before we even start?” you asked him.
“Absolutely not, you’re mine. We’re gonna destroy all of you. Prepare yourselves” he stared at Vernon, Shua and Seungcheol specifically.
Then he led you towards the alcohol. You were extremely thankful for him.
Seungkwan might have met Jeonghan before he met you but there was a reason everyone said you must have been twins in another life. He suffered the way you did, his reactions were similar. Your side eyes? Unmatched. The only thing you were mainly different was in pettiness. He had the ability to be much more petty and cruel if needed than you. Until tonight. 
Seungkwan was proud of you. Maybe it didn’t look polite but Jeonghan had ripped your heart out, put it through a blender and served it back to you on a silver platter. You owed him nothing. He made his choice when he left you and he is reaping the consequences.
Hoshi and Seungcheol stood on top of the living room table and warned everyone:
“Beer pong tournament starts in 30 minutes. Sign up with your partners now!”
“Keep drinking, warm up, I’ll sign us up. We got this!” Seungkwan tells you immediately.
He was way too excited for this but you understand him and everyone else. It had been far too long since you had all been together, relaxing like this, having fun. And it had been even longer since the beer pong partners had changed.
Usually, you and Jeonghan were always a team. The cheater and the angel who convinces everyone their moves are within regulation due to some unchecked loophole. Shua and Vernon, the americans. Always a team. Always made it to the finals against you and Jeonghan. Seungcheol and Hoshi were always a team. An unlikely one but one that always worked. Seungkwan always forced Woozi to be his partner even though Woozi just wanted to be left alone. Everyone else was pretty okay partnering up with whomever was available and they didn’t put too much effort into fighting everyone for a partner. Mingyu and Wonwoo, Seokmin and Dino, and lastly, Jun and Minghao. They were the good ones. The ones that played for fun only. At least in this game.
This time around, Woozi finally thought he would get some peace but Jeonghan was forced to pick him since obviously you would not be pairing up with him. 
You joined everyone around the table and started a conversation with Lily who always got bored watching you guys compete. Well, until Seungcheol started to lose, then she got mad at everyone. It was adorable. 
You could overhear Jeonghan trying to convince Woozi to join him and at that moment a voice you did not know breaks you out of focus.
“Hi! I’m Haneul! Jeonghan invited me here tonight. The guys are pretty close, huh? Wanted to see if I could join you girls while they play and maybe find out a few secrets about Jeonghan” she giggled.
Lily looked at you and then back at Haneul. 
“Hi, Haneul. I’m Lily. This is Y/N. We met the boys in college. Or, Y/N met some of them in college and then we all got put together into this insane group. How do you know Jeonghan?” She asked her. 
She really knew you inside and out. She knew you weren’t going to speak a word to this girl and at the same time, you wanted to know everything about her. You hated it. You hated him. He made you this way. This poor girl had done nothing to you, yet here you were hating everything about her for absolutely no rational reason.
“Oh, from work. I just started at the company and I got assigned to Jeonghan’s team. He’s such a great guy--”
You walked away. Nope. Not tonight. You worked hard to get over him. You knew this would be a reality one day. Sure, you thought it would happen much later but you have to face it now. He’s here with someone he thinks is worthy of him and that he clearly wants to have a serious relationship with. He never brings anyone around the boys unless he means it. And she was so perfect for him. Your complete opposite.
You want to vomit. You hate this. You hate it here. How are you supposed to play a game and have fun when this is happening? It was way too soon. You shouldn’t be here, you knew. You knew this was a mistake. You started thinking of ways out. Trying to find a way to sneak out, turn off your phone and hope in the morning, the boys feel forgiving.
“Stop trying to figure out a way to sneak out” Seungcheol spoke beside you. 
“How did you know?” you asked him, sounding sad.
“Because if I were you, I’d be thinking about the exact same thing” he answered and put his arm around you to comfort you.
“I missed you, Cheolie” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.
He kissed the top of your head and asked “Is that why we barely spoke these last few months?”
“Not you too, Cheolie…” you said as you moved away from him.
“Come on, you know we have to. You disappeared. You both said your… ‘situation’ wasn’t going to change anything but it changed everything. You both deserve the shit you’re being handed by all of us” he said as he sipped his beer.
“So you’re giving him shit, too?” you asked, also sipping your drink.
“Oh he’s got it so much worse than you, Y/N. You have no idea the kind of pain we unleash on him on a daily basis” he said and smiled at you.
You knew he meant it too.
“Good. He’s earned it” you said and you both laughed.
“LET US BEGIN!” Hoshi yelled at the top of his lungs.
He jump scared everyone in the room and Seungkwan was ready for murder. Poor Mingyu had to hold him back from Hoshi as Hoshi ran off laughing as loudly as possible.
‘Some things never change’ you thought to yourself.
The tournament started and everything was going well. You were distracted and having fun, finally. And Seungkwan never left your side. Well… that’s not entirely true, but every time he did, he made sure one of the boys was there to prevent you from running away. 
You and Seungkwan had made it to the Semi-finals. A place Seungkwan had never been in all of these tournaments. He always blamed the cheaters but now here you were. And you were going to face Jeonghan and Woozi in the semi-finals.
Of course. You looked up and sighed. The universe really enjoys watching you suffer. It’s like it knows how much you love competitive Jeonghan and has decided to torture you even more. Because it’s not enough he looks that good and it wasn’t enough when he walked towards you with a little girlfriend behind him, no. That wasn’t enough. You needed to suffer more.
Seungkwan grabs you by the shoulders and makes you stare at him.
“A little creepy, don’t ya think?” you asked him and laughed.
“Stop laughing. Look at him. I want you to put your pain to use” he said, and almost growled at you.
“Excuse me?” you asked, but you knew what he was going to say next.
“He brought a girl here. Look at her. Very cute. Just his type, isn’t she? And, he barely tried speaking to you. Get angry, let’s destroy him” he told you while staring at you.
“Seriously, Seungkwan? That’s low” you said.
“You know what’s low? Knowing you were coming and bringing her. Use it. I need this win, Y/N and so do you” he said as he let go of your shoulders and started focusing on your adversaries.
You get what Seungkwan is doing and you know if you were Sengkwan you would be able to channel all of that energy and anger towards winning, but you’re not Seungkwan. This is where your personalities diverge completely. Right now, all of those thoughts, everything that has happened tonight… You are trying your hardest to just not cry. Do. Not. Cry. 
Long story short. You lost. Bad. You sucked. Bad. And you wanted out. Bad.
As soon as the final shot sinks and the match ends, you get out of that living room and you go hide. 
You need to breathe, you can’t breathe there. You’re suffocating.
You don’t know how long you stay in the guest bathroom. You’re on the floor, tears running down your face and your breathing has finally started to stabilize. ‘You’re fine. You’re okay. You’ll be fine’ you kept telling yourself over and over.
You get up, clean your face, take one last look in the mirror and try to make yourself look presentable. You needed to leave this party. This was too much, too soon. The boys would have to understand.
You leave the bathroom and as you’re about to leave the guest bedroom, he spoke up behind the bathroom door.
“Not even a hello, love?”
Your heart started beating so loudly, you started shaking. How dare he? How dare he do this to you? You looked back at him over your shoulder and said:
“Don’t make the wrong choices and expect no consequences, Jeonghan. You shouldn’t keep Haneul waiting.”
And you left.
You left. This time, you had the power. You closed the door behind you and you started getting ready to leave. Some of the boys ran over to you.
“I had fun, I did. But I have to go, okay? I’m sorry Soonyoung. And congrats to you boys, you deserve this. You worked too hard so kill it, okay?” you said with a weak smile on your face looking between Hoshi, Jun, Minghao and baby Dino.
They all gave you a huge group hug and let you leave.
You got home and you cried yourself to sleep, again.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry for him anymore, no matter what. But here you are. In bed, crying.
You wonder if you even understand Jeonghan at all. If you ever did. He left, didn’t try to contact you but tried to speak to you when you first walked in the party. Brought a new girl to the party he knew you would finally be at and pretended to sulk when you didn't answer his greeting.
You have no idea what he wants. You never did. But it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. 
In a way, now you can heal. You saw him with someone else, the worst possible scenario in your head and you survived. Barely. But you did. You’ll learn to navigate these feelings and you’ll get better at forgetting him.
Tonight was difficult but tomorrow will be better.
It had been two weeks since the party. You had been busy and hadn’t had time to think much more about it. And, you also didn’t want to think about it or talk about it at all.
So, you may have been ignoring the texts the boys sent and even Lily. You just didn’t have the energy at this point. You were still drained and trying to find your bearings.
You knew this wouldn’t last much longer. They were very persistent when they had to be and when they wanted to be. 
Today you decided to have lunch delivered and eat in your office. It was one of the days you needed to be in the office and you were already drained. You didn’t expect any visitors, especially at lunch time but there’s a knock at your door.
“Who is it?” you asked from your desk, pausing your Youtube video.
Lily doesn’t even reply and just opens your office door and comes right in.
“Well, hello there. Why did you knock if you’re just gonna make yourself at home either way?” you asked her playfully.
“I’m mad at you. This is the silent treatment, in case you’ve forgotten what that feels like” she said as she crossed her arms.
“Not much of a silent treatment if you stalk me all the way here AND speak to me or is it?” you asked again.
“You’re unbelievable you know that, Y/N? We barely speak or see you for 6 months, you show up to one party, leave abruptly in the middle of it and start to ignore us again and you still think this is a joke? Keep pushing us away like this and one day none of us are going to push back anymore” she said and your smile fell from your face.
“I’m sorry, Lil. Jeonghan caught me alone at the party and… I had to leave after that. I couldn’t be there anymore. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t ready to see him yet and definitely not ready to see him with someone else so quickly after our falling out” you said honestly.
Lily sighed and smiled sadly at you. 
“Let’s talk about it? You haven’t talked to anyone about it since the falling out. I really think it’s time you share your burden with someone. You can’t keep carrying this alone. It’s going to keep suffocating you. Let it out with me, yeah? Tomorrow? I can come over, we can spend the day together, talking and binge eating and drinking. Like the old days. Let me be your friend, Y/N”
“Deal” was all you said but it was enough to make Lily smile more brightly. 
She hugged you and said her goodbyes and your day continued.
Maybe she was right. You had not talked about it with anyone. Maybe you’ve healed as much as you can on your own. You need support. You need your friends.
The next day you woke up and you were excited. You hadn’t spent a full day with Lily like this in a very long time. You missed this so much. 
You went out for a quick grocery run to get all her favorite snacks and drinks and some other additions you needed for your home and you decided since you weren’t going to bring too much back that you would walk to the store. You could use the fresh air.
As you were walking there, you kept thinking about what Seungkwan had said before. He knew you had blocked Jeonghan but how? You hadn’t told anyone and sure, it could be an obvious assumption, but he knew. With certainty. 
You couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of Jeonghan having tried to contact you after that night and finding out he was blocked. How did that make him feel? Why did he tell Seungkwan? And did he try to contact you more times after that? How many more times?
‘Why do I care? Why am I torturing myself?’ you asked yourself. But you know why. Deep down (maybe not that deep down) you wanted him to try to contact you. You wanted him to feel like shit when he realized you blocked him, and you wanted him to keep trying to contact you.
You just wanted him.
How pathetic is that? He keeps hurting you and you keep wanting him. Always.
After you got home and prepared everything for Lily’s visit, you sat on your kitchen counter staring at your phone next to you.
‘Don’t do it. Don’t do it. I shouldn’t do it. This is a fucking bad idea. Stop being weak. Don’t do it’ you kept telling yourself over and over again. As you were about to do something very stupid, your doorbell rings and you thank all the heavens and Gods above.
You opened the door and a very excited and happy Lily barged in.
“Did you miss me? How long has it been since we did this? Feels like forever…” she said as she started taking out her blankets and pillows and setting up your living room for a proper girls day.
“I want to unblock Jeonghan. Is that stupid?” you asked abruptly and so quickly that Lily thought she misheard you.
Lily slowly turned around and looked at you with an eyebrow raised.
“Why?” she asked.
“I just… Seungkwan mentioned before that he knew I had blocked Jeonghan and I thought that was weird because I didn’t tell anyone anything and it got me thinking that yeah, I know, he could’ve made that comment based on an assumption but you know Seungkwan, he doesn’t say or do things he is not certain of and that made me wonder if Jeonghan had tried to contact me after that night and if he did, what did he want to say and how did he feel after being blocked by me” you said all in one breath and so fast that Lily almost laughed at you.
“Easy there, we have all day, no need to say things in one breath like that. Don’t want you passing out on me” she said, now laughing out loud.
“Sorry… So… Is it stupid?” you asked her again.
“Of course not. What you two shared… I know we never talked about it but I actually saw myself and Seungcheol a lot in you two but you know, in a completely dysfunctional and delusional way of pretending you didn’t love each other” she said as she laughed lowly and you sat down on your couch.
“Look… I don’t know what he wanted to say but I can confirm he has tried to contact you after that night. Several times actually. Seungcheol told me. I’m assuming he told Seungcheol, Seungkwan and probably Vernon and Shua. He knows they would be his best bet at convincing you to unblock him but none of them wanted to help, I guess. At least Seungcheol didn’t.” she said and you looked down.
“I know he fucked up. But… and don’t hate me for saying this… You did too. And I think you know that. Sure, he fucked up in a much more serious and permanent way but you two just kept hurting each other for years. It’s always been so complicated when it should’ve been easy.” she continued.
“I also know the Y/N I know is a very forgiving person and has always given people second chances. Not saying you should forgive him just like that. But maybe you can hear him out. He clearly wants to talk to you about it and you clearly miss him and want to know what he has to say. Just because you give him a chance to explain, does not mean you will forgive him and want him back in your life.” 
She finished her speech and you looked at her with tears in your eyes.
“How long have you been holding that in?” you asked and laughed.
“6 whole months actually. Seungcheol kept stopping me from saying anything and he kept saying you were too angry. Not ready to hear it just yet” she said and was crying with you now. 
You both looked insane. Crying and laughing at the same time, holding each others’ hands but this was exactly what you needed.
“I hate it when he’s right” you said and laughed.
“Oh, same. And he is always right. The boys were all on your side, you know? Always giving Jeonghan shit.” she added.
“I bet… Seungcheol told me that at the party too” you told her.
“So… Unblock him. Don’t tell anyone. I won’t either. And we’ll see if he tries to contact you again or not” she told you and moved to turn on the TV.
“To be fair, it’s been 6 months. Not sure he would keep trying for that long” you told her as you started to open some of the snacks and drinks.
“Don’t say that. I know for a fact he kept trying and hoping you had unblocked him so he’ll definitely try again” she said as she started helping you with the snacks.
You nodded and… Unblocked him. You did it. It felt weird. You wanted him to reach out but you were also scared of what he would say if he did. And, if you were being honest, you were still so angry at him for leaving you. So you’ll know that if you decide to hear him out, that first conversation is not going to be pretty no matter what he has to tell you.
The rest of the day went by fast. You talked and vented to Lily about everything. Just like you did with Jeonghan on that day. You had told her everything, you had cried together and laughed and after all of it, you just watched a few episodes of a show and before you knew it she had to leave.
You said your goodbyes and promised each other you would do this way more often.
You felt happy when she left. Lighter. You cleaned most things up and decided to go to bed early. You were feeling tired. You were feeling as if today you were finally going to get some real sleep. Lily was right. You needed this. You needed to vent and share your burden and now that you had, you felt relieved.
You wanted to take full advantage of this opportunity. You turned all your notifications off, did your nighttime beauty routine and went to sleep. You fell asleep so fast and you slept like a baby. At last.
Sunday morning you woke up so well rested and a bit confused from sleeping so much. You honestly don’t remember the last time you woke up after 11AM and it felt great. You stretched, yawned, opened your blinds and smiled. 
Wow, you really did feel so much better after being and talking with Lily. It helped with some of the pain and she was right. You didn’t know if you would give Jeonghan a chance to explain himself yet but if you did, that did not mean that you were going to forgive him and that your lives would again intertwine. 
After showering and cooking breakfast, you went to your dinner table facing your window to eat and you remembered you had turned off your notifications for the night so you went back to your room to pick up your phone and turn them back on.
You started eating and checking your notifications when you receive a notification you didn’t think you’d receive this soon.
It was a text from Jeonghan. Apparently sent late last night.
“I know I haven’t texted you since before the party. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry isn’t enough. I wanted to give you time but these weeks have been shitty. I’m miserable. I wish you could read my messages and see how much I’ve been suffering without you. I keep texting you pretending that you read them. How pathetic am I? Doesn’t matter. I’ll keep being pathetic until the day you give me a chance to explain everything. I miss you terribly, love”
You kept reading it over and over again. You didn’t know what to do. This is not something you can do over text. This also is starting to seem like a very bad idea at this moment. You know he probably saw the message was delivered, unlike his previous ones. 
Jeonghan is very much feeling like you. Confused. Not quite sure what to do. Send another text? No. Not over text. Call you? Maybe it’s too soon, maybe he should wait to see if you reply at all and then try to call you. A voice message? Hmm, not ideal but it would give him a better platform to at least try to convince you to meet with him and let him explain everything. 
A voice message it is. But it can’t be any voice message, he decided. He needed to write down everything he needed to say in this message. He needed to be clear and straight to the point. Just like you always have been.
After hours of writing points down and recording himself and hearing it back, he decided to just go for it. No matter what, it won’t be perfect. But it’s all he’s got. He has this chance and he can’t afford to waste it. He can’t afford you blocking him again and not being able to get his second chance.
You spent hours trying to avoid staring at your phone. You cleaned your whole apartment and decided to play some games to distract yourself. ‘You don’t have to respond. If he means it, he’ll reach out again. Be patient, Y/N’ you told yourself.
And sure enough, your phone dings a text notification. You’re so nervous. It’s just a text and you’re so nervous. You look down at your phone. It’s a voice message. No. You can’t hear his voice. Why does he know you so well? 
You wanted to wait to open it. You really did. But you couldn’t. You reached down and listened to it.
“Hi, love… I… I don’t really know how to start. I can’t believe you unblocked me. And, don’t worry. I know this doesn’t mean that you’ll hear me out or forgive me but you know I have to try, right? Maybe you don’t. I know you’ve been feeling like you never mattered to me. Like you were never worthy of me. And it’s all my fault. In all these years, I’ve been so blind and I’ve hurt you so much. I wanted to beg you for a second chance but… This isn’t my second chance. It’s not even my third. I’ve hurt you more times than I can keep count and you have given me multiple chances to redeem myself and I always disappointed you. I kept asking myself, if I were you, would I forgive me? Would I give me another chance? How many chances are too many chances? How many times will you forgive me before I learn? Truth is, if I were you, I would be done. Completely. I’m sending you this on the very slim hope that you are better than me and that you will at least let me explain everything. Even if after you hear it, you won’t forgive me. Please… Let me explain myself. Meet with me, one last time, love.”
He was crying for most of his message. You could hear it and it was tearing you apart.
Part of you wanted to meet with him but the other part of you was still so mad. Could he just beg and cry and get away with everything? You deserve better than all of this, you know that now. You’re not sure what to do. You needed to weigh your options. 
You sent him a simple text: “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. Please, don’t message me anymore. I’ll reach back out when I have an answer.”
He liked your message and added nothing else. Jeonghan knows you well and he knows to respect your boundaries, always.
You spent the next few days thinking it over. You kept remembering Lily’s words. Listening to him does not mean you will forgive him and it might even help you with closing this chapter in your life, if that’s the final choice you’ll make.
But somehow, every time you tried to message him and tell them that yes, you will hear him out, you couldn't pull that trigger. You were scared. You couldn’t pinpoint what was holding you back.
You decided to call Lily. She would help you, she would know what to say to help you through this.
She picked up after a few rings.
“Hey! How have you been? How’s the… situation we talked about Saturday?” she asked and you could hear some background noise and echo.
“Am I on speakerphone, Lil?” you asked back.
“Yes, I’m cooking dinner and Seungcheol answered it for me. Is this not a speakerphone conversation?” she asked you and you replied right away.
“Actually, if Cheolie is there and wants to give his input, I would appreciate it. I’m… confused? I don’t even know the right word to describe what I’m feeling right now…” you replied and you immediately got an answer from the other side of the phone.
“I’m here. Tell us” he said, straight to the point. You too had always had that in common. Cut through the bullshit and get to the point.
“Well, Saturday after me and Lily spoke, I decided to unblock Jeonghan. I just… Wanted to know if he tried to reach out and if he would again and he did. That same night actually. Long story short he sent me a text and a voice message begging me to meet up with him and let him at least explain. He said a lot of things… I don’t know how to feel about them? I told him I would think about it and I thought about it. A lot. I want to hear him out but every time I go to message him the fear and hurt resurfaces again and I just… Can’t… I mean… Does this mean I shouldn’t listen to him? I need help…” you said and waited for a response.
“You should hear him out” Seungcheol said simply.
You didn’t know what to say so he continued.
“What’s the worst that can happen? You fight? Good. You need to fight. You both need to tell each other everything you’ve been holding inside since you met. You need to scream at each other and understand how annoyingly frustrating you both are. And if after that fight you decide it’s not worth it, you’ve given him too many chances, then you’ll know and you’ll be able to finally get closure and truly move on. Let’s face it, Y/N. You won’t fully move on until you get your answers. All of them.”
“I really do hate it when you’re right…” you said and the three of you chucked.
“But I’m always right, Y/N. Meet up with him and come running here if you need to” he told you.
After you hung up with them, you decided you needed to rest. You had a migraine. Tomorrow will be a new day and tomorrow you’ll let him know.
The next morning you decided to call Jeonghan before starting work. You knew his schedule and you knew he would be up. You couldn’t do this through text and you won’t.
He picked up immediately.
“Hello, love. Good morning. Did you sleep well?” he sounded the same. Asked the same questions he used to before. It felt familiar and nice.
“Hi, Jeonghan. Good morning. Yes, I did, thank you. I hope you did too. Look, I’ve decided to hear you out. I don’t want to talk through the phone or in a public place. I have a feeling this conversation will be… difficult to say the least for the both of us. Can I come over after work this week or is the weekend better for you?” you asked him.
“Tonight. Come over tonight, please.” he said without any hesitation.
“Okay… Tonight it is. I’m working from home so I should be done at 6PM. I’ll be there by 7” you stated plainly.
“Okay, love. I’ll be waiting” he said and he sounded as if he were smiling. It made you want to smile as well but you didn’t.
“See you then, Jeonghan” you said and hung up.
You weren’t ready to see and speak to him but were you ever going to be?
Tonight, everything will be out in the open. Finally. You will both put all our cards on the table. No more secrets. No more hiding. And then, you can both decide how to move forward. Together or separate.
6PM comes quicker than you anticipated and it’s time to get ready and meet with him.
You got to his apartment and the nerves started kicking in. ‘You got this’ you told yourself right before you rang the doorbell. 
He must have been right by the door because the door flew open almost right after you rang the doorbell.
“Hi, love. Come in, please” he said and gave you room to walk towards the living room. He sounded nervous. He looked nervous too. It made you feel good to know you weren’t alone in this. 
You walked in the living room. It was clear he prepared for your arrival. The room smelled like the candle you loved and kept buying for him so he would always have it when you came over. The lights were dimmed and he had put music on in the background. He had water and snacks on the coffee table and your pictures together were still up and visible to anyone who walked in his house.
Fuck, you missed him so much. You want to stay strong but you are already feeling so weak.
You sat on the couch, turned your phone off and looked up at him with raised eyebrows, silently asking him ‘What are you waiting for?’.
He sat on the couch with you, turned his phone off and started speaking.
“I love you. And no, I don’t mean in a ‘best friends’ type of way. I’m in love with you. And yes, I am fully aware those are the exact same words you said to me 6 months ago. And you should know I’ve wanted to say these words back to you ever since that night. I’ve always loved you. Since the very beginning. I have been trying to figure out why I didn’t see it or why I kept telling myself that I didn’t love you like that but honestly, I don’t know why I did it. I know I’ve always been afraid to lose you. To have you look at me with disappointment in your eyes. But before that night, I told myself we were just friends and were always going to be just friends. I had convinced myself of that fact and I don’t understand why.” he said with tears in his eyes now. 
“Fuck, I know what a cliché it is to only realize what I have in front of me once I lose it, trust me. But the night I left, I remember thinking how happy I had always been with you, around you, in your presence. How lost I was before you walked into my life and it all made so much fucking sense. You and I made sense.” he continued. 
You were staring in his eyes and it was your turn now to turn your poker face on.
“Only after I met you did I set up all these rules about my dating life. No one was ever worthy of dating me simply because they weren’t you. I kept making these excuses… To myself, to everyone around me. But I was just too stupid to see that I was making these rules in hopes of finding someone like you. Because I’ve always known since I met you, Y/N, that I’m the one that is and never was worthy of being with you. But if there’s anything I have learned in all the years we’ve known each other is that there’s absolutely no one like you, not for me” he continued.
“I wanted you for so long that when I saw the chance of having you, I took it. No hesitation. I don’t regret that first night and never will. What I will regret is never having kissed you that night and the conversation that took place after it all happened. What I said, the way I acted. Like you were just another ‘fuck-buddy’. I will never forgive myself for that and I don’t expect you to either” he said as tears kept flowing down his face. 
He never wavered and kept looking at you while he finished up his speech.
“I know I don’t deserve another chance. I don’t deserve forgiveness. But I still had to ask. I had to try. I love you and I am begging you to give me another chance. At everything. Being your best-friend, your lover, your partner. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me” and he was done. 
The only sounds in the room were the sounds of you both crying. Why did he only decide to tell you all of this now? Why was life so unfair? You don’t know if this is enough. His words are beautiful but they always have been. You needed more. Much more. 
And your anger starts winning over your forgiving side. You still have a lot to tell him before you even make a decision about this. He needs to hear how much he has hurt you. 
“Am I just supposed to be moved by this and forget all these years? Forget all the words you’ve said to me, all the little comments and jokes you made about me not being your type and not even being close to what you wanted?” you asked him.
“You know me well, Yoon Jeonghan, which means you know my memory never fails me. I remember every single cruel thing you said and smirked about. I remember the restaurant you never took me to no matter how many times I begged you to because ‘That is way too romantic for us, love’. And you want me to believe that after you’ve said all of these things you went home and felt bad about it?” you were getting angrier and angrier.
“You don’t love me. And you didn’t love me back then either. You love the way I make you feel. You love how desperate and pathetic I am and always have been for you. You love that I worship the ground you walk on. You love the feeling of having someone willing to do anything for you, willing to sacrifice their own beliefs and self-esteem to get even a small portion of your attention. You love having someone beg you to take them out, begging you to see them. You love all of these things and anytime someone gave that to you, you stayed” you were getting harsher now. 
“That’s how you found your ‘fuck-buddies’. You always chose the most desperate ones because you always loved the way it made you feel about yourself. That’s why you kept me around. You kept all of us around for different feelings. We were all desperate for you, yes. But their job was to keep you satisfied sexually, while mine was purely emotional. It wasn’t love. Not for them and not for me.”
You said and started getting up from the couch and collecting your things.
“I was never different from them. Not in the core of the matter. In the end, we all got hurt and you always left, unburdened and ready for your next fling to satisfy your ego” you said as you began to walk towards the apartment door.
You looked over your shoulder and told him: “I don’t know if I can forgive you. I know I don’t believe you. I wish I did. I really do. But my memories of every little thing you did over the years that hurt me are keeping me from letting go. I’m glad we both got to say what we always needed to say to each other. I’m not sure we’ll see each other again, but if we don’t, we can at least have closure now. Goodbye, Jeonghan.”
You got home that night and you were just… Numb. You couldn’t cry anymore. You didn’t want to scream. You just sat on your couch, staring at your wall, not knowing what to do and how to move on from this. From him. 
You fell asleep on your couch that night and woke up the next day feeling even worse.
You reached out to both Lily and Seungcheol and they were very supportive but they also made sure you knew they weren’t going to advise you any further. The next decision was entirely up to you. 
The next week went by so slowly. You still felt like shit and it seemed to only get worse each day.
It may sound stupid but you missed him. You had just seen him. You had a bad fight. Yet, you missed him. 
You went to your closet and took out the box of pictures you had hidden there. You started looking over each one of them. All of them were attached to such great memories. Memories of days together, nights together, vacations together. You were always smiling brightly. You remember all those feelings. Everything he had made you feel when you were together. 
You started to regret some of the things you said last time you saw him. He cared for you deeply. You could tell from the pictures and from all the good memories you had. He always protected you and made sure you felt safe and warm. Your friendship was nothing like the flings he had. You went too far. You wanted to hurt him but you weren’t fair in your accusations.
You’re pretty sure that’s why you feel like shit. You thought saying these things to him and hurting him would make you feel better. It would leave you satisfied knowing he was hurting like you did all those times. But it didn’t. It made you feel so much worse than before. 
You fucked up and now it was your turn to fix it. You knew if you went back there, it would mean you would forgive him. Were you ready for that? Was that what you wanted?
You dropped the pictures, grabbed your keys and left. 
You were standing in front of his door wondering if you should ring the doorbell. He might be busy. He might not even be home. You didn’t even know what you were going to say. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. You need to leave. Now. Go home. Regroup and come back with a plan.
The door opened and a tired Jeonghan was staring at you, blinking in confusion with his jacket halfway on his body.
“Hmm… Hi… I wanted to talk to you. I should’ve called or texted before. Sorry. I should leave. Sorry” you were shaking and started to leave but he grabbed your elbow and stopped you from moving.
“No. Stay. I’m not busy. Talk to me. Please” he asked you.
“You were leaving though… I feel bad… I--”
“I was out of whiskey. Was going to buy more. It doesn’t matter. Stay. Come in. Talk. Please, love” he interrupted you and he never let go of your arm. 
“O..Okay. Yeah. Okay” you nodded and went inside his apartment.
He took off both his jacket and shoes and you did the same. You looked around. The house was messy. Very unusual. Jeonghan was a creature of habits and he hated messiness. This was your fault.
You decided to be blunt again. 
“Did you mean it? What you said last week? All of it?” you asked him nervously.
“Yes. Every word. I know it’s hard to believe but I meant every fucking word” he responded just as bluntly.
“What about Haneul? You brought her around the boys… To the party…” 
You hated that you asked but you had to know everything before giving him a permanent answer.
“She invited herself. Pretty much blindsided me into joining us. She’s been following me around the company. I’ve made myself very clear. I’m not available and it will never happen but she wasn’t backing down. I’ve been really tired. Exhausted, after losing you. I had no strength left in me to fight her. I would just ignore her until she gets the message. Not my finest moment but I couldn’t care less” he said plainly.
You nodded and started getting really nervous. You gulped and asked him your final question.
“I was an asshole last week. I’m sorry. I said a lot of things that weren’t fair. I wanted to hurt you. I regret most of it. After all I said, do you still want me? Want us? Want to spend the rest of your life making it up to me?”
“That’s all I want. I want all of it. I deserved your words. I deserved to be hurt. I should be the one apologizing. But fuck yeah. If you give me that chance, this last chance, I will never let you go again” he said as he walked closer to you until he was so close you could feel his breath on your lips.
You looked up at him.
“Deal. I want to forgive you. I want to move forward with you. With us. But I have a few rules…”
He looked in your eyes and started to smirk. You were giving him a taste of his own medicine. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy but he would do everything to earn you back.
You moved away from him and started to put your shoes and jacket on, getting ready to leave.
“No sex. Not in the beginning. I want romance. Lots of dates. We have similar tastes and you know me better than anyone. Choose wisely” he laughed and nodded along.
“Kissing is very much allowed and encouraged. This is obviously an exclusive relationship and I am to be called and to be treated as your girlfriend, always” he kept smiling and was starting to tear up. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was.
“Anything else, princess?” he asked.
“No princess. I like baby much better. Or angel. Other than that, no other rules. For now” you answered him. And before you left, you walked towards him, intertwined your hands and asked him sincerely:
“I missed you, Hannie. Don’t make me regret this, okay?”
“Never, baby. You’re mine now. I missed you so much, too. Let me take you out tomorrow, yeah? First date?” he asked back.
“I can’t tomorrow. Friday I’m free. Pick me up after work?”
“I’ll be there, baby” he said and you turned to leave.
Right before you left he told you “I’ll be texting you. Don’t ignore your boyfriend, baby. He’s very needy”
You laughed as you nodded and left his apartment.
You got home that night and you couldn’t sleep. You were so happy. Is this even real? This wasn’t a dream, right? And as you were having these thoughts, Jeonghan texted you just as he promised right before you left his apartment.
Next thing you knew, a month flew by. Your first month together as a couple.
So far he’s kept all his promises. He was the one worshiping you now. He always texted or called to make sure you were safe and happy. He took you out on multiple dates a week and always made you feel like you were the only two people in the whole world.
On your first date he took you to the restaurant down the street from his place that you always wanted to go. You had a feeling he was going to pick that place and you made fun of him for it but he kept saying ‘I told you, baby. From now on, I will do everything to earn your forgiveness and love. Clichés and all’.
After your first date, he took you home and kissed you so gently by the door. 
You never thought you would feel this way. You felt complete. The happiest you had ever been.
During this month together, he never made any additional moves on you. 
You had kissed. A lot. 
Made out like teenagers. A lot.
But he always stopped it and ended your date there.
You knew you asked for this in the beginning as one of your rules but you couldn’t take it anymore. 
You needed him. You knew you had to be the one to make the move or show that you are ready. Otherwise, he will keep respecting your boundaries no matter how hard you want him to disrespect them.
Today you met up with Lily for lunch. The guys and Lily had barely seen the two of you. You only had time and eyes for each other and everyone was letting you two enjoy this new relationship without any interruptions.
“You are glowing, you know that, Y/N?” she asked as she ate.
You laughed and told her “I’m just so fucking happy. I never thought this would happen. He’s been so amazing. And it doesn’t feel different. I mean, our friendship. We’re still infuriating with each other but now we just have the added benefit of kissing to shut each other up.”
“And fucking” she said loudly and you hushed her while you two giggled.
“We’re in public, asshole. And about the fucking…” you said.
“Nothing yet? I gotta give it to him. Never thought he would be able to last this long without making a move. Good for him” she said and kept giggling.
“Good for him? I am dying here, woman. I’ve tried everything. All my moves, all the signs and he just won’t do anything” you whispered.
“It’s your fault. You made it a ‘rule’. You should know that not only would he take this seriously, but he would also use this to torture you for as long as he could. Possibly until you begged him to fuck you” she said again way too loudly in this very public restaurant.
You looked around after shushing her and you realized what she just said. Oh my god. He’s doing this on purpose. Of course. You should’ve known better. You gave him a challenge and he was punishing you for it, the little shit.
“I love that you are only realizing this now” she said and kept laughing.
“Shut up and finish your food” you bit back at her.
You had a date tonight with Jeonghan. You had offered to cook for the both of you. More of an intimate date. And you were going in for the kill tonight. You were done waiting but you were also going to have some fun with him.
You had this pink dress in your closet that you bought almost a year ago. You were saving it for a really good date or so you kept telling everyone. And we’re here now. 
Pink is not your usual pick but this dress is a killer. And an added bonus: Jeonghan loves seeing you in pink. This dress is just short enough. Obscene cleavage. A bit corseted. Enough to let your natural curves speak for themselves.
Underneath the dress, the smallest thong was covering your pussy and of course, no bra.
You had covered your body in the watermelon body lotion he loved smelling on you. Very little makeup and hair down. Just how he liked it on you.
Everything was ready and waiting for him. Food was ready and in the oven. You had set the mood with the candles, lighting and music in the living room and dining room and your bedroom was certainly refreshed and ready to greet him.
When you opened the door and he had the chance to see you. You knew you made all the right choices tonight. He stared you up and down and gulped.
“Like what you see, Hannie?” you asked and walked away from him towards your kitchen.
He came up behind you before you could reach the kitchen counter, turned you around and kissed you. Deeply. Full of passion. Until you were both out of breath. He started touching the bottom part of your dress with his fingertips very lightly.
“‘You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, baby. Why haven’t I seen this dress before?” he asked.
“Well… You weren’t exactly the best boy to me for a while. But now… Now you deserve to see it. All for yourself, too” you said, still panting and recovering from the kiss.
And in a very Jeonghan fashion, he completely surprises you with his next question.
“Has anyone else seen you in this dress, baby? On a date? Who have you worn this for before me, hmm?”
You smiled and whispered in his ear: “No one else but you.”
He almost growled at you and started leaning in again to kiss you. He had that look in his eyes you knew all too well and you moved away from him.
“We should eat. Food is getting cold, Hannie” you said and moved towards the oven.
He stared and narrowed his eyes at you but he knew what you were playing at. He knew you too well. Let’s see who has the most self-control tonight, then.
You had a great meal. He complimented your cooking as usual and kept holding your hand every time he saw the opportunity to. 
Everything was perfect. 
You two started cleaning up after eating and you kept talking about everything that was going on in your lives.
Everything was always so easy between the two of you. 
You both sat on the couch and decided to watch a movie together. He was very touchy during the whole movie. His hand was moving higher and higher up your thigh and every time he moved it higher, he sighed, almost moaned. 
You were so fucking wet and he had barely done anything. Tonight had to be the night, right? ‘He wasn’t that evil’ you thought.
When the movie ended and his hand was almost completely underneath your dress, he moved closer to you, leaned in, held your chin in his hands and started to whisper against your lips.
“I should go, it’s getting late”
He laughed after watching the disappointment in your eyes, got up and started getting ready to leave.
You also got up and grabbed his jacket to stop him.
“You can’t leave yet” you said shakily.
He hummed.
“Why’s that, baby? Something you want from me?” he asked as he walked back over to you.
Okay, you can say it. It’s fine. Just ask him. Tell him, do anything.
“Ugh… Nevermind. Just… Drive safe, I guess” and you tried handing his jacket back to him.
He licked his lips, ripped the jacket from your hands, threw it on the couch and started walking you backwards towards the living room wall.
Once you were backed up against the wall, he placed both hands on each side of your head.
“Is it so hard to ask to get fucked, hmm? Not like you haven’t done it before. What’s with the pride, baby?” he asked.
You stared at him with uneven breaths but stayed silent.
“You know me, baby. Either ask me what I want to hear or I’ll leave you here against this wall in your probably very small and very wet panties” he said and started kissing down your neck.
“Stay. Fuck me” you said hurrily and barely in a whisper.
“You have to do better than that, baby. Ask me nicely since you’ve been a tease all fucking night” he said and now one of his hands was on your thigh, rubbing circles.
“Please, fuck me, Hannie. Please. I can’t wait anymore. You’re driving me crazy” you begged and he must have liked it because you felt him chuckle against your skin.
He pulled your dress up and slapped your clothed pussy. You moaned.
“Now that wasn’t so hard was it? You’ve wanted me to fuck you for a while now. Was wondering when you were going to start acting like a greedy little slut. My greedy little slut” he told you while he cupped your pussy.
“Hannie…” you moaned.
He moved away from you and started walking to your bedroom. You followed him. He sat on your bed and started unbuttoning his shirt while licking his lips and staring at you.
You stood in front of him.
“Take it all off, baby and come sit on my face” he told you.
You were nervous. You hadn’t done this before. Not with him. But you were also excited.
You took it all off, just as he asked and you started moving closer. He layed back on the bed and beckoned you to join him.
You did. You laid on top of him completely naked and you started kissing each other. His hands were everywhere. You couldn’t get enough of him. 
He stopped kissing you and started moving up on the bed to straddle his head and he dove right in. No hesitation. No words. No more waiting. He was eating you out like a starved man. You were holding on to the top of your bed and his hair.
He was being sloppy and loud and moving up and down between your clit and your hole. He spanked you hard and moved one of his hands to your folds. He started fingering you using two fingers while sucking hard on your clit. 
You were so fucking close already. This was fucking embarrasing. You start shaking and moving away from his mouth and he spanks you again.
“Don’t fucking move away from me again. Don’t you dare. Don’t be embarrassed and cum. Let go. Cum” he told you then while pushing your hips back down on his mouth.
And as soon as he pushed you back down and continued his movements, you started falling apart and moaning his name so fucking loud. 
He didn’t stop then. He kept going.
“Hmm… Sensitive… Can’t… Hannie…” you whined.
“Shhh baby, you can give me more. I know you can. Fucking give it to me. I’m fucking greedy” he started fingering you again, slower this time and started marking your thighs with his mouth until he saw purple marks all over your inner thighs. 
You kept moaning and whining and you were getting louder and impatient. He laughed and moved back on your clit.
This time he added a third finger and kept sucking on your clit. It was a mess, you were sure of it. His face, his fingers. You had never felt this wet and this sloppy before and you were getting closer and closer.
With his free hand, he cupped your breast and twisted your nippled between his fingers and you came again with a cry of his name.
You started slumping on the bed while you were still panting and he moved you off of him and laid you on your back.
He started kissing down your neck and taking his clothes off.
When he was fully naked and on top of you, you grabbed his face with both of your hands and you looked in his eyes. You wanted to know what he was thinking. How he was feeling.
“I love you, baby. So fucking much. Let me have you now, yeah?” he asked as he looked into your eyes. Almost as if he knew that you needed that, you needed to hear him say it.
You kissed him again and tangled your hand in his hair.
You both gasped when he started pushing into you and you both moaned when he bottomed out completely.
“Fuck, I missed you so fucking much. This pussy was made for me. I might not last long, baby. It’s been too long since I had you” he whispered in your ear.
“Hmmm, what about since your other ‘fuck-buddies’? How long ago was that?” you asked and he stared in your eyes and got very serious. You hated that you asked it but you need to know the answer.
“I haven’t been with anyone else after you. I thought that was obvious, baby. I want you. I spent all these months wanting you. No one else” he said and started kissing you again.
You stopped kissing him and asked him to start moving and he did.
He held your hips in place with one hand and with the other he intertwined your fingers together and he started pounding into you. No mercy. He was desperate for you and you for him.
“Fuck, Hannie… So good… Feels so fucking good… Don’t stop, please…”
He grunted in response and kept pounding into you.
You were getting closer again and he felt it so he moved the hand that was holding yours to push down on your stomach and kept pounding you hard into the mattress.
“You’re so close aren’t you, baby? I can fucking feel it. You’re squeezing me so hard, baby. Fuck… Let go. Let me feel you”
He leaned his forehead against yours and you came again. This is the loudest you have probably been. You feel shy all of a sudden but you can’t say anything coherent. You’re mostly babbling at this point and he starts laughing at you.
“Don’t tell me I fucked you stupid, baby. Use your words properly, you’re a big girl”
“Hannie… s’good…”
He kept laughing and kissing you and he leaned back to move one of your legs and place it on his shoulder.
He was now squeezing your thigh of the leg on his shoulder with one hand and grabbing your tits with his other hand and he started slowly thrusting into you. So you could feel every vein and every ridge on his cock moving inside of you. This felt like torture but you knew he was delaying his orgasm as much as he could.
“Look at you… My angel… You’re so gorgeous like this under me… Fuck, I’m never letting you go. My good girl… Hmm? Are you my good girl, baby? Answer me”
You started nodding.
“Yes… Yeah… Yours.. Good… Good girl…”
It was your turn now to surprise him. You grabbed his hand that was on your tits and moved it to your neck.
“Fuck, baby… Want me to choke you? Can’t have anything nice, can we? Calling you my good girl and you start acting like a greedy little slut again”
He chuckled and started thrusting into you with much more force and speed. The hand on your neck started squeezing lightly and you started whining and feeling closer and closer to the edge again.
“Gonna cum one last time, hmm? With my hand around your throat like a slut? Yeah… Fuck yeah… Cum with me then, angel”
He leaned down to kiss you and you started cumming again. This time your vision turned white. You thought you were dreaming. This felt surreal.
You kept repeating his name over and over again and when you said ‘I love you’, he finally came inside you with a grunt and a low moan in your ear.
He laid down on top of you as you both recovered and he kept playing with your hair and calling your name.
“Baby… You okay? Was that too much? Come back to me, don’t fall asleep yet, we need to clean up”
You laid with your eyes closed and hummed.
“I’m here, Hannie. Just… Give me a few minutes… I think you broke me” you said and you both started laughing.
“Good broken though?” he asked.
“Fucking amazing broken” you answered and you kept laughing together.
After a few more minutes of laying together in pure bliss, he convinced you to get up and take a shower with him.
He had to hold you up for most of it. You were so tired. He kept poking fun at you and all you could mumble was ‘your fault’ and he started chuckling.
You shared a bed for the first time as a couple that night. You remember feeling like this was supposed to have been happening since the very beginning of your friendship. 
You knew you wanted to have him with you here for the rest of your life and all you could do was hope he meant every word he said and that he would want the same with you. It was the best sleep of your life that night.
You woke up the next morning to the sounds of Jeonghan singing to the music he was playing and what sounded like cooking. 
Fuck, you were starving. But first, you had to make yourself look presentable. He always looked so good in the morning and you… Well.., you had more of a rough appearance in the morning so you needed a moment to collect yourself before following the sound of his beautiful voice.
You went to the bathroom to do your morning routine and afterwards you joined him in the kitchen.
“Good morning, Hannie. What are you cooking, baby?” you said as you hugged him from behind.
“Hmm… Morning, angel. Just some eggs and sausage. You didn’t have much more”
“Sounds delicious, thank you” you said as you moved to sit on the kitchen counter behind him.
“We have to replace all those photos, baby” he said as he turned around to look at you.
You knew he meant the pictures you had ripped apart and put back together after your falling out.
“I don’t want to. I like them this way. It tells our story. It’s a little broken but in the end it got put back together” you said and smiled at him.
He smiled and turned back to the stove.
“You just want to get our kids on your side and have me as the bad guy, huh?” he asked and you chucked.
“Kids? Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, no? Let’s not make promises we can’t keep. We both have done enough of those” you said and he nodded and laughed.
You felt so happy when he said that but you didn’t want to sound too eager. You knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him but you still were scared that he would regret this eventually and leave you again.
What you didn’t know was that this time, he wasn’t going to let you go anywhere, and he was never going anywhere without you.
He was going to spend the rest of his life by your side, earning back every once of trust and love he lost from you before.
He was okay with you still being guarded. He knew you had nothing to worry about and he would prove it to you. Soon enough he will take out the engagement ring he bought after your first date and he will make sure you stay by each others’ side always.
The ultimate pinky promise.
It’s here guys and it’s a monster 😭 I really hope it lives up to your expectations. I’m still nervous about everything I write! Please let me know in the comments and such if you liked it  💕 Thank you for supporting me! CHEERS 🥂
Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @lannadray @cvixmei @feat-sun @cvpidxo @yunjinified @shuahasmyheartffs @jjjzzz @starlight-night0 @rendeciu @momoxxchewz @miniseokminnies @meowmeowminnie @sofix-hc7 @aaniag @shinetogether17 @goodforgyu @sharkipoonis
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Text
The One That Got Away
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No matter how long you stared down at his face, Annabeth, Percy, and Grover standing over you, all in silence, you couldn't stop.
Luke, sitting right there after so long, was gone. Your hand was on his cheek, running circles over and over again as if some ritual to wake him up.
But that wouldn't work.
Luke was gone. Luke would never wake up. Your Luke, your boyfriend, and best friend, has helped you defeat Kronos, only to leave you once more after.
You stifled another sob at the thought. Muttering small “Oh, Gods.”, “I'm sorry”’, and “Luke, please.”
Grover, Annabeth and Percy could only stand over you in silent support as you mourned.
You'd been against Luke for years. After loving him for as long as you can remember, that wasn't enough to stop him from going to Kronos, that wasn't enough to get him back.
You mourned your relationship. You mourned a future he promised. You mourned him.
The Gods all arrived moments later, their footsteps thundering into the throne room as they came in fully fledged in their battle armor.
They only found five teenagers, three hovering above with their heads hung low, and one holding the dead one as they all mourned over the broken body of a half-blood.
“Percy…” Posiedon was the only one able to speak, awe in his voice. “What…what is this?” Percy's father asked, you couldn't make yourself for the life of you to face the Gods.
You couldn't call that a family as you sat and mourned your own, the only family you've known standing over you as almost protection as you mourned.
Percy was the only one able to turn and look at the Olympians.
“We need a shroud.” Percy said, his voice cracking at his words. “A shroud for the son of Hermes.”
You gave a broken sob at the thought.
—----------------------------------------------------------
After Luke was taken away, his body behind readied and having to pry him and you, you didn't really know which it was, from one another, all you could do was stare into nothing.
Your hands worked almost like muscle memory, making the shroud. You've done it so many times for fallen campers, friends, Beckendorf, Sileena, even Percy at once, and many more.
Your hands worked quickly and quietly, the faint wrestle of the shroud against your fingers was anything but comforting.
Neither were the footsteps behind you.
Even if you didn't look, you knew who it was.
“Well,” Hermes started, his own voice heavy and you could tell
“Luke-” The man tried to begin, but you cut him off just as quickly.
“Don't talk to me about Luke.” your voice could have been laced with malice and that would've been a better poison to the man.
Hermes looked at you, watching you glare at him before he nodded.
“..I know. I know. I…I don't have the right.” the man sighed.
“Yeah, you don't.” you said sternly, glaring at the man through tearful eyes.
“But you do, my dear.” Hermes sighed, watching you look at him with tearful eyes of hatred, but he knew that wasn't just at him. Well, a lot was, but everything.
“Don't talk to me- don't talk about him, like you know us.” you shook your head, scoffing at the thought.
“I don't, and I can say that is a grave mistake on my part, which I will never forgive myself for.” Hermes said, nodding his head as he looked at the floor, mulling everything over.
You scoffed again, a sob mixed into it as you turned back to the shroud, not wanting to cry anymore. But that was pointless as Hermes started again.
“But what I do know is that my son loved you. You…you made him very happy, child.” Hermes said swiftly, watching as your back tensed like another sob was being withheld.
“...no, he didn't. If he did-” you tried to start, Hermes butting in. “My son had immense pride, like someone else I know,” Hermes started, gesturing to himself.
“he thought he was doing what was meant to be,” The God shook his head before sighing once more. “but he loved you.
“...we were fighting for so long, I- I don't know if he still loved me." You shook your head, laced with doubt and worry.
Hermes gave a bittersweet smile at your words. You were too young to experience such a thing. But, that was the life of a Half-Blood, sadly.
“..he did. I know he did. It was-” Hermes struggled to find his words for a moment, shaking his head. “One of the only things I know for certain, about my son.”
“...you didn't know a lot about him.” You couldn't help but say. Hermes just nodded. “I do not. But, I would watch over him. And Everytime,” Hermes could almost smile as he recalled.
“Everytime he was with you, everything was better for him.” The old God said, you didn't turn to face him but you closed your eyes, sighing as you felt more tears sting your eyes.
“I know it isn't a lot of reassurance, my girl,” Luke's father said solemnly.
“But my son, he will be free. And…one day, if you so wish, you may join him, when you have lived your life, had your adventures, and so much more.” Hermes offered.
“And when the time is right, you may join Luke again.”
You picked your head up from staring at the ground, confused before it settled on what the god meant. You looked over your shoulder at Hermes.
“...why not now, if you can give it?” You couldn't help but push, getting a small chuckle from the man.
“I may not have known my son better than you, but we both know he would not wish for you to cut your life short for him.” Hermes said, almost wistfully.
You couldn't help but know it to be true.
You thought for a moment before nodding softly, going back to your shroud. You muttered what you thought was a thank you, but Hermes shook it off.
“You do not owe me thanks. If anything, I owe you.” Hermes said.
“You gave my son happiness, for years. He experienced love, one of a kind, from you. So, thank you, (Name) (Last Name).” Hermes said, and you could almost make a smile out of his face, bittersweet but there.
“Find us when you are ready.”
Was the last thing Hermes said, leaving you to the Shroud, and walking away to join whoever.
You thought for a moment, looking at the man's back as he walked away, then back to the shroud in your lap.
Even if more tears sting your eyes and you couldn't help but sob, you smiled.
Because yeah, Luke was gone, the love of your life, but…you would see him again one day.
You were just setting him free.
You gave a wistful smile, one that Lukes soul, detached from its body and watching from afar, couldn't help but admire.
He was admiring like every other time before. Like at the camp bonfires. Like when he would sneak you out of your cabin into the woods by the lake.
Like when you told him you liked him, and like when you said you loved him back.
Luke wanted to reach out, cry and cry with you but he knew that he couldn't.
So, he would admire you now. Make up for lost time.
And as Luke sat from afar and watched you, a small smile on his face, he knew he would wait for you. As long as it takes
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vigilskeep · 3 months ago
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I just started playing a Crow Rook and literally WHAT is going on between Rook & Viago. Why is he so worried about them, why does he care?? It’s not like they’re actually his kid or something…? Rook could probably even be his same age. & we know it’s not a romantic thing! Would love to know your thoughts on it. It’s giving me Hawke & Meeran for some reason lmao
i think they left this open to player headcanon in a way that i personally find delightful and entertaining. the incontrovertible canon facts are that he worries about them, that he is distinctly less bearable when they’re not around, that he has so much faith in them that he puts all their failures down to them being thoughtless or acting out on purpose, and that he expresses all of this via frustration when it’s clearly love. why and how we got to this point is up to you!
so i can only really talk about how i’ve been interpreting that. to Me, viago is so uptight and distrustful that i would struggle to believe in this dynamic if he hadn’t known rook for a really long time. which makes sense, because crows who belong to a house grow up together. i mentioned this way back when we first saw footage of him with rook de riva, but to me he talks to you a lot like an older family member who still kind of thinks of you as a kid. i read into it as him acting sort of like the equivalent of an older brother with a big like 5 or 10 year age gap, but that is obviously dependent on your rook’s age and feelings
i am going to delve into closely-canon-based headcanon territory for a moment but show my workings as i do it. viago is not from a crow family like lucanis. he is not related to whoever was his predecessor as house de riva’s guildmaster. he is a royal bastard who elected to join the crows rather than be exiled, because that is, for some fucking reason, the system they have in place. since his memories prior to the crows are distant boyhood ones, and the crows typically start training early, i think we can guess that he was at most a teenager when he joined the house
please take a moment to picture lanky teenage viago de riva, with all his distrust and temper, accustomed until now to certain noble comforts, terrible at making friends, inclined less towards physical strength and more towards poisons and the fantasy equivalent of excel spreedsheets. does anyone honestly think for a second that when this kid arrived, all house de riva’s scrappy cutthroat embittered crow recruits didn’t immediately smell blood in the water? does anyone honestly think he would have had a good fun time or been well-liked? that he eventually rose to talon by asking nicely or indeed anything other than his ability to cultivate fear as the foremost poisoner in the entire antivan crows? does anyone, for that matter, believe that every crow knows how good at poisoning viago de riva is because his afaik unmentioned predecessor died of super 100% natural causes?
and if rook de riva grew up with viago—which as i said, makes sense!—that would mean they were there. if they’re close enough now to, despite everything they did, have no fear of their talon and for him to be completely incapable of anything harsher than calling them an idiot, isn’t it reasonable to assume they must have been, then, the one person he had? the person who chose and kept choosing to stand by him during all that, when he was the easiest target in the house and it was still a very foolish gamble to make. young and impulsive, sure, but who else would have backed him? young and impulsive, but also so brilliant and determined that he firmly believes there’s no dragon they couldn’t chase away. if we accept all those workings, isn’t the question less why does he love them, and more: how could he not?
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buryhny · 2 months ago
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One Night Stand ; 42
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➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn
→ Jungkook x y/n
→ contains smut, fluff and angst
→ Chapter forty two ; wc | 8.3k
primarily on Wattpad
index ⇢ next chapter
Jungkook spent the rest of his night with you, secretly. you insisted he comes up to your bedroom since it's the last night you both have here in your home country, the flight is early the next day so you will be leaving your parent's place by midnight.
"y/n you're gonna get us in trouble-" "no I'm not, I just want you to look around..." "we can do this in the morning too." you rolled your eyes while you tiptoe back to your room as he holds your hand tightly, making sure you do not fall over in the dark.
"not when my parents are gonna keep their eyes glued on the both of us the whole damn day." You gently close the door behind you, making sure to lock it. Turning around, you face the man standing there with his hands on his hips, and you wrap him in the biggest hug you can manage ...though your pregnant belly gets in the way, making it impossible to give him the full, squishiest hug you're aiming for.
"I've missed you so much." Jungkook can't stop beaming his signature bunny smile. To him, this is the cutest you've ever been, and he's at a loss for words—or actions—that could convey just how head over heels he is for this version of you.
"I've missed you much more darling.." he murmurs into your hair as he places a kiss. You pull away from him and look up to see his face, his hair covers his forehead and his eyes curiously search your face as they smile before his lips do.
Jungkook watches you, he notices how you look at him with so much love and adoration and he wants to tell you so much, not just three words but so much more, he can't find them though.
The words, because it's not much, he doesn't think he can just say it, it's not worth it, he wants to show you to make you feel them and he just can't wait to go back home and embrace you in himself. "let me show you around."
you whisper and change the atmosphere because you know and feel it too and here is not the place, god it's not. This isn't your home now, your home is where you and Jungkook belong together, sleep together share memories and make love together and it is waiting back in Korea for you both.
"I've spent my whole life here; you can see the very old posters of The Beatles and Ariana Grande." You both glance at the walls, where the faded, curling edges of the posters tell stories of years gone by. Jungkook chuckles softly, his eyes lingering on a particularly worn Beatles poster. "This one looks like it's been through a lot,"
he says, pointing at a corner held together by yellowing tape. "Well, it survived my teenage angst and an unfortunate attempt at redecorating," you reply with a laugh. He smiles warmly, his gaze shifting to you.
"You had an awful taste in decorating, my love," Jungkook teases as he turns around and walks over to inspect the other posters plastered on your wall. You frown, trailing after him.
"Really? You get to tell me that?" "Why not? Just look at this selection," he says, smirking as he points to one of the posters. "You've managed to pick the top 10 most random and iconic pictures ever—like, what even is this lineup?"
You cross your arms, glaring playfully. "Excuse me, but this 'random lineup' was carefully curated during my teenage years. Don't disrespect the effort!" He laughs his bunny smile in full force and taps on the corner of a faded Ariana Grande poster.
"Yeah, because clearly, this is peak interior design, genius." you roll your eyes and punch his shoulder which he giggles over, he loves teasing you over the stupidest matters, it's how you two even bonded. How this whole everything started- teasing.
Whether it was the night you both met each other at the club, how you took the first step teasing him about how he stares at you and how you both teased each other the whole past 8 months whilst being together as boss and secretary to now... to-be- parents and maybe more?
There's not much around your old bedroom, after all, it has been more than 3 years since you've been here and nothing has changed, except how lonely and unlively it is now unlike before, how you would keep it colorful with fancy lights and books decorating your table and how your bed would be made with plushies and cute bedsheets, now its all just dull and mature.
maybe you don't like this much because you're used to the shades of rich colors back at Jungkook's place, how bright yet soothing the colors feel unlike your old bedroom which has far too many colors. Your tastes have changed now, you've become a new person, a better person and you like it, you like yourself more now.
"I want to go back home." you murmur as you lay on Jungkook's chest, his fingertips caressing your locks as he leans against your bedhead. "this is home too. Your home, your first home." he reminds you, he wants to tell you to recall the memories and moments, although the definition of home has changed for you now, this place and the people here are still your first.
He doesn't want you to forget that no matter how much it changes for you. "I know... I know and I- I love this place too, it's dear to me. But..." your voice trails as you play with the thread of your sweater, a pout decorating your lips.
You know this is not what he means yet Jungkook's words feel like you don't care or feel much for this place and it makes you sad and angry even that his words feel like it's putting you down.
You just miss your place, the place you've gotten so comfortable the past few months, a place you never want to leave. Even though that place has no people except for Jungkook that you feel dear to, it means much much more than a place with people you know.
You've formed that connection with the walls of the house that you don't need people, you don't need anyone, all you want is Jungkook and Bam and it's enough, it's the world for you.
It's funny because you grew up with people around you, your parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, many pets and friends. Coming to Korea was a massive change to your life when you had no one to call your own but after the whole chaos you finally found peace, love and people in one person and even though he was with you here, right next to you, he doesn't feel home yet and you know its because of the rules your parents made.
"but..?" he asks gently. "but I miss it." he chuckles this time, your head shakes at the rumbling of the laughter from his stomach. "just one more day and we'll be back there, bear. Don't worry, I'm not leaving you here or anywhere. You're coming with me, home. our home."
"Promise?" he smiles, and this time he looks down at you, while your head shifts to look up at him. "I will never go back without you, you're in this with me, forever. Understand?" he presses his fingers together on either side of your cheek, making your pout even bigger as you both erupt in laughter.
"it's too late y/n, I think I should get back to the room-" "Stay until I sleep, please... I can't fall asleep," you mumble as you gaze at him for sometime, trying to tell him that it's difficult to sleep up here, alone.
He smiles, nodding his head he decides to stay just an hour longer until your eyes close. His fingers run through your hair, his breathing soothes you in the silent night.
You realize just how close you are to Jungkook—something you haven't felt in years, not even with the man you loved for so long and had plans with. Jungkook looks up at the ceiling, thinking about how calm he is around you and how much he loves you. he can't wait to go back home too, to have you all by himself.
He places a kiss on the temple of your forehead, and attempts to leave your room but your hold on his t-shirt is too tight that he does not have the heart to pull you away, so he decides to stay the night even though he is unsure and afraid even of what your parents might feel about this.
The morning comes by, and the chirping of the birds and the sun's rays wake you up. You blink a few times before heaving a deep sigh, as you turn to your side you notice the bed is empty and there's no sign of Jungkook. You think he must've left early in fear of what your parents might say. "morning baby!"
-
you caress your belly as you attempt to get out of bed slowly, now that your bump is getting big. After freshening up, you head downstairs, stopping in your tracks when you hear laughter—coming from not one direction but three. You peek into the living room and freeze.
Jungkook is sitting there, laughing with your parents like they've been best friends for years. "Oh, Y/N, honey! Come here," your mom calls out, way too cheerful. You frown, feeling completely out of the loop, and reluctantly sit down beside Jungkook. He turns to you with those smiley eyes, his grin wide enough to make your heart do a little flip.
"You didn't tell me you won the prom dance and got crowned prom queen?" he teases, his voice all playful. Your jaw drops as you look between your parents, trying to piece together what's happening. "Uh... what?" you ask nervously, your voice almost cracking.
The sudden question catches you completely off guard, and for a good reason—you'd practically erased that memory from your mind. It was, after all, one of the cringiest moments of your life, one you'd been trying to delete ever since. "go on, tell him." Your mom leans forward, clearly ready to nudge you further into the conversation, but your curiosity gets the better of you first.
You glance between the three of them, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, hold on," you say, crossing your arms. "Can someone explain how you three became best friends overnight? Because this was not the vibe yesterday." the three of them erupt in laughter, confusing you even more.
"Oh, hun, should we tell them?" your mom asks your dad, her eyes glinting with mischief. Your dad chuckles, giving her a nod. "Your mom and I caught you two in the kitchen last night." At that, Jungkook choked on the water he was drinking, his coughs escalating into a fit. Meanwhile, your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
"You... what?" Your mom waves a hand, trying to stifle her laughter. "Oh, don't act so surprised! We saw you two, all close and cozy by the fridge. You thought we didn't hear the giggles?" Jungkook finally catches his breath, his face flushed, whether from coughing or sheer embarrassment, you can't tell.
"I... uh... wow, okay," he mumbles, avoiding eye contact. You gape at them, mortified. "Seriously? You were spying on us?" Your dad raises a brow, clearly amused. "Spying? You were right there! If you're gonna sneak snacks in the middle of the night, at least keep it down." Both Jungkook and you have never been so embarrassed before, his eyes turn red, and so do your cheeks.
"It's okay now," your mom says, her tone far too reassuring for your liking. "Your dad and I experienced this too back in our day. It's not too—" "Stop. Right there." You hold up a hand, your face burning with secondhand embarrassment.
"Please don't finish that sentence." Jungkook shifts awkwardly beside you, looking like he's debating whether to laugh or flee the scene entirely. "Yeah, uh... let's not compare notes here," he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck. But your mom just smiles knowingly, leaning back in her chair.
"Oh, sweetie, you'll understand someday." You groan, sinking lower in your seat as Jungkook glances at you, his lips twitching like he's fighting back a grin. "At least they didn't hear all the nonsense we spoke about..." "Oh god, we did. do not have to whisper now, we heard all of that." "okayyyyy I'm leaving-"
"Y/n, sit back down and have breakfast." "you need to stop embarrassing us!!" "fine, I'll stop." your mother puts her hands up, giving up as you all laugh it off. "now tell me the whole prom stuff. " "mom I can't believe you told him that!" "I had to!!" ......
Your parents realized a little late how deeply the two of you loved each other. Your father quickly came around, accepting your feelings almost immediately. Your mother, however, was more hesitant. She wasn't happy with your choice, as he didn't fit her expectations, especially with his tattoos and appearance.
-
But as she watched the way you both missed and cared for each other, she began to see how genuine your love was. all night she barely got any sleep, recalling how unfair she was towards you both, she understood she'd been wrong to withhold her support, especially after watching you two in the kitchen and how close you two were.
She never really had anything against Jungkook, and now she knows she never will. It's so obvious how much he cares about you—she can see it in his eyes now. The first time she met him, she didn't even give him a proper look, brushing him off completely. But now, as she takes a moment to notice him, it hits her.
There's this little ache in her chest because she knows she was unfair, cold, and unwelcoming to someone who's done nothing but love, support, and take care of you—all on his own. it took her some time to get over her thoughts and talk to him, she's glad you woke up later. you didn't have to see the awkward conversation between your mother and Jungkook.
putting her ego aside was difficult but not too much because she looked in the eye of the boy who loves her daughter and who she loves too. Jungkook could see her hesitation but he calmly paid attention to her and with your father around, it took no time for the three of them to gel up.
the four of you sit together in the living room, laughter fills every corner as he flips the next page of your baby album. "y/n! you're adorable. I've never seen a prettier child than you." Jungkook hums softly as he settles beside you, pulling the photobook closer to his face to admire you better.
His gaze lingers, studying your features closely. Your lips were always so plump, and your eyes so big and round—he can't help but wish they hadn't changed much as you grew older. But then, there's your hazel eyes now, deep and alluring, like a siren's call. It's those eyes that make him fall for you even harder every time he looks at you.
"she was the prettiest child.  no one in either of our families has seen a child more beautiful than her." "Mom now..." you roll your eyes as you blush at the compliments you receive. it's too much to handle and it's brushing on your already large ego. "Our Y/N is a princess. We just needed a king for her," your dad says, draping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer with a proud smile.
Meanwhile, your mother, sitting beside Jungkook, nudges his shoulder with hers, raising her eyebrows playfully. Jungkook tries to smile, but the lump in his throat is hard to ignore. Your dad's comment echoes in his mind, and though it was meant as a compliment, it only makes him doubt himself more.
A king? He thinks you deserve so much better—someone greater than him—and he can't help but feel a little low, wondering if your parents might secretly feel the same way about him. "He is one, Dad. He keeps me like a queen," you say proudly, placing your hand on Jungkook's thigh and looking up at him with a warm smile.
Jungkook glances at you, chuckling softly. "We're not playing kingdom here," he teases. "All I want is a partner, and she's... she's just the perfect woman I could ever hope to find. Though, I do agree—she deserves a king, someone way bet-..."
You roll your eyes, cutting him off with a playful smile. "You need to stop! I don't need a king. Even though you... are one—with your mansion and all that— you're just a simple man. And that's exactly what I love and want."
The two of you get so caught up in your words, exchanging soft smiles and heartfelt glances, that you don't even notice your parents watching you. They exchange a look of pride and joy, their hearts full. Seeing the love and understanding between you both reassures them that you made no mistake—in fact, you've done everything right by choosing this man.
"alright alright now... you both need to get a room." your dad jokes and you immediately cringe at her words. "ew dad!!" "What?!! you two were lost in your world, I had to say something. anyways I've got a great plan." he gets up from the couch and claps his hands. "why don't you both, go around the city.. show him your school,
and the parks and just spend the rest of your day out... Jungkook has barely seen around the neighborhood." you look over at him and see him raising his eyebrows at you. "should we..." you whisper and he shrugs.
"It's a good idea, I haven't made out with you in so long-..." "shhh y/n-" "okay dad!!" you pull Jungkook's arm so he can get up from the couch, he looks over at your mom and sniggers. "is she always this excited?" "Trust me she is, only if she loves the person."
"You need to be careful, baby," he says as he puts on a coat for you, evenings can get cold so he can't take the risk of you falling sick. You're dressed in a summer dress, that fits your bump perfectly. It's a pretty baby pink and lavender and a hint of cream.
;
"I am! I'm just so excited," you exclaim as you grab a couple of snacks to put them inside your bag. "Sit down, I'll tie your lace." You sink onto the couch as Jungkook gets down on his knees to carefully tie your shoelace. With your growing belly in the way, bending down has become nearly impossible, and you can't even see your shoes anymore.
"All done!" he says, giving a gentle tap on your thigh as he stands back up. "Y/N, honey, son... take care, okay? Call us if you both need anything," your dad says warmly, and you both nod in response. You step out into the front yard, pausing at the doorstep while Jungkook walks to your dad's car. He opens the door for you, carefully guiding you inside.
As he climbs into the driver's seat, you give a wave to your parents before driving off. You guide him through the neighborhood, showing him the area and telling him how different it was during your childhood, and how you made friends around and were so close to them as you grew up. He listened to you ranting about high school drama and the dork you were.
You didn't tell him about the other details, because you wanna save them for later when you show him the place. "Isn't this nice?! I never thought I would be driving around the town, pregnant! never imagined this day would come so so soon..."
You let out a soft sigh, gazing at the early signs of fall while taking in the familiar sights of your hometown. Jungkook occasionally glances at you as he drives, his pace careful and unhurried. When you finally speak, it stirs a question in his mind: are you truly happy about this?
On the surface, you seem cheerful, your usual excitement shining through. But deep down, could there be a shadow of sadness or guilt you're keeping from him? He doesn't want to press you, yet his curiosity lingers.
"Oh! Let's walk around here," you suddenly say, pointing toward a garden. "You can park over there." Without hesitation, Jungkook steers into the spot you indicated. You both walk around the concrete, and you look down, biting back a smile as you feel giddy about this place.
The man beside you frowns as he looks around in an attempt to find something that amusing you so much. "anything or anybody around? Making you smile so much?" he asks as he gets closer to you. You roll your eyes and silently gesture toward a bench overlooking the children's playground. Without a word, you both take a seat.
Jungkook waits patiently, sensing that something's on your mind but unable to pinpoint what. Is it a memory? Someone nearby? "You've got to tell me what you're hiding," he finally says, breaking the silence. "Do I look extra good today, or what?"
he dusts his jacket and makes his eyes to show off himself to you. "Oh, please!" you scoff, rolling your eyes. "Calm down, Mr. Full-of-Yourself." You have to admit though, he looks irresistible in that hoodie and baggy sweatpants, he looks so warm, you might even...
"What is it, then? Why are you blushing so much?" he asks again,  this time more insistently. you chuckle and look at the little children sliding down the red max slide. "you wanna know?" you ask and he nods eagerly. you get closer to him, however you don't meet his eyes.
"I had my first kiss here..." Jungkook's ears perk up at your words. "I was 15, and there was this boy named 'Taylor.' We weren't anything official, but I knew he liked me... One afternoon, we walked to this park, just talking about everything—the craziest stuff. We sat on a bench, and he was quiet, a little shy, never saying how he felt. I guess I was too, at first. But then, the words just slipped out..."
your voice trails off,  your gaze lowering as a faint blush creeps onto your cheeks. Jungkook watches you intently, his expression soft, his dark eyes focused entirely on you. There's a moment of silence as you gathers your thoughts, his quiet presence giving you the space to continue. "...and before I knew it, it just happened."
your voice is barely a whisper now, face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and nostalgia. Jungkook leans in slightly, his curiosity evident, waiting patiently as if the story holds more than just words. you take some time as you smile, looking at the kids.
"so.. how was it?" he asks. he doesn't want to show you but he feels tenderly jealous. He's fully aware that this was all a years old tale but he couldn't help but feel that pit in his stomach. "it was really bad, the both of us were....sloppy and god.."
You chuckle softly as you reminisce, watching Jungkook clench his jaw, his lips twitching like he wants to laugh too but holding back. You glance at him and notice how his expression shifts—his brow furrowing deeper with a hint of discomfort. This makes you laugh even harder, and he frowns deeper, clearly resisting a smile.
"What's funny?" he asks, his voice low and serious. You reach out to pinch his cheeks gently. "You look so cute when you're jealous, you know." He frowns again, gently pushing your hand away. "I'm not jealous." "Oh, heck you are," you tease, cupping his jaw and pulling him closer just a little.
"There's no way you're kissing me on this bench where you kissed some random Taylon." You burst into laughter, shaking your head. "His name is Taylor, not Taylon! God, baby, you're hilarious." Jungkook stiffens at that—at the unexpected nickname.
Did you just call him baby? His breath catches for a moment. he looks over at you and sees you still laughing, caressing your bump. "what did you call me again?" he asks. you look around the place like you hadn't heard him, picking your inner cheek to act like you're not with him. "look at me." he murmurs but you don't.
You continue to ignore him, enjoying the moment as you gently tease him. "Darling, look at me," he says softly, pulling your elbow gently to turn you toward him. You comply, your gaze meeting his wide, warm brown eyes. He looks at you like he's never heard that word before—though he often uses it himself, hearing it come from your lips feels different, sweeter.
His heart races, faster than it ever has before. You notice the way his eyes sparkle, full of emotion, and can't help but smile. "What did you call me?" he asks, his voice soft this time, almost reverent. He seems to want the entire world to be silent so that when you say it again, it resonates loudly in his ears—only his, spoken from you.
so you give in to it and whisper. "Baby...my...baby..." This clenches his heart so much, that he feels it in his throat, he feels his heart drop to his stomach, and he feels the little cocoons in his stomach open up and become butterflies as they fly around, making him feel giddy. he loves it, he loves everything you say but this- this is heaven.
he might die if you say it once more. You notice his eyes shifting across your face, each glance more intense than the last. Those sparkles—bright and endless—reveal more than just emotion.
You see the moonlight, galaxies, and the entire universe swirling inside those deep, warm brown orbs. Every blink feels like a new revelation, a glimpse into a world only he holds. you never thought a man would feel so much by one word, but here he is.
the man of your dreams, your life and your world. going crazy that you called him 'baby'.  his lips twitch, he can't wait to kiss you. he must kiss you, god, he must. so he does. he cups your jaw and gently places a kiss on your lips. the kiss makes you feel so out of place, it feels soft and tastes ever so sweet. you missed him, that you know, but this much?
it's like you can't get enough of him, and he feels the same. here you are making out with the man you know you are settling with, the father of your child and the man of your unexpected dreams. kissing him on the same spot you had your first kiss and somehow this one feels a thousand times more than anything you've ever felt.
It's real, raw, sweet, it's a dream and everything you've ever needed and ever asked for. it's like living in a bubble, a perfect bubble in a perfect world, with the perfect man and the perfect kiss.
your kiss is interrupted when a little boy comes to you and taps on your knee. you look at him curiously. "hey...are you okay?" you ask him and he nods. he seems to be about 4, not younger or older. he wears a blue jumpsuit and a little bucket hat. "you have a little boy?" he points at your belly and you look down at it with a smile.
"I'm not sure, love. maybe a boy or a little girl.." the boy giggles as he looks over at Jungkook who gives him a wink. "what do you think champ? boy or girl?" "Mmm.," he thinks. "my mama has a baby too. little brother. I think you...have a baby girl." he says and you look at Jungkook with wide eyes who looks back at you with a wide smile.
"yeah?" he asks and the boy nods. "I hope so too.. just like her mama." he murmurs as he looks over to you and you blush. "Jo- jo, come to mama..." you both hear his mother call out for him and he responds immediately. "here.. for you.." he hands you a lollipop, which you take with a smile. "you look pretty, lady..." "thanks love."
"come here." Jungkook gives the boy a high five before walking away toward his mother, who gives you a warm smile. You glance at the man sitting beside you, who has bright red ears. "You heard that?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
He nods and opens his arms, pulling you into a gentle side hug. "He was the sweetest boy." "He is, he is," you whisper, smiling softly. Jungkook places a kiss on your head, his thoughts lingering on the moment.
The way you spoke to the child so kindly, with that motherly tenderness, shows a different side of you—a side he hasn't seen before. But he knows without a doubt that he'll cherish this part of you the most. For once in these few months he can't wait to see you give birth to the child you're carrying... his child. 
Jungkook and you leave the park after spending only a few minutes there. Once back on the road, you decide to show him around—a little tour of the places that shaped your life. You point out your college, where you spent countless hours chasing dreams and deadlines, and then gesture toward a few of your cousins' homes.
Though you glance their way, you quickly decide against visiting them, especially in your current situation. You know too well that stepping inside would mean turning your personal life into the day's headline.
Your cousins wouldn't hold back from sharing the news with anyone who would listen, and right now, you're not ready for the world to know even though you're cousins are the loveliest people who would be over the moon to meet your baby, you know you need to prepare yourself and Jungkook for this before you face them.
As the evening dwindles, Jungkook and you wander around town, pausing frequently at various stores so you can use the restroom—pregnancy often comes with its own set of challenges and honestly you're so done with them, you can't wait to be free but you know you're gonna miss this way too much once you've given birth.
you feel beautiful and you love the feeling of carrying your child inside you, it's a blessing that you cherish so much. "I'm feeling for some ice cream right now..." you mumble and the man beside you squints his eyes as he turns to face you. "I do not like the sound of that." he says which makes you groan.
"I'm not gonna fall sick! I need some." "Nuh-uh, you've been having way too many the past few months, I can't take the risk." Jungkook can be very protective and sometimes he is very serious about it, when he says no, it's a no. but not now, you haven't had anything cold for some time and you know the ice cream takes well here, especially the ice cream trucks that serve the best crispy cones.
"please, I promise I won't have any more ice cream until I deliver. this will be the last!" You plead, and somehow, this prompts him to roll his eyes. He dislikes seeing you lower yourself like that. he glances at you and sees how you've got that ridiculous pout on your face that makes his insides clench because you look so fucking adorable so he can't say no.
"you promise?" "I do!" you say and nod eagerly, which makes him chuckle. "fine, puppy."  He mutters under his breath, following the directions you give him as you guide him through the streets to one of the town's most famous ice cream trucks.
"I can't park there, where sh—" "Just park on the side; we can walk down," you cut in. "Oh, no, no, no," he scoffs, shaking his head. "I'm not letting you walk that far." "Jungkook, stop being a dad now." "I'm being a dad?! I'm your man of course I'm gonna take care of you, that's a long way down, you can't walk so far."
"I can and we will so park right there Mr. Jeon, come with me." He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. You're being stubborn again—something he dislikes, but he knows it's part of the package that is you, and he has to handle it. You might have noticed the subtle shift in his mood caused by your insistence.
"I'm sorry," you mumble softly, guilt creeping into your voice. "I just wanted to walk with you while I eat some ice cream." He sighs, his tone gentle as he responds. "I wasn't mad, darling. I'm just worried about you." he places his palm on yours and rubs his thumb.
"we'll do as you wish." he smiles and parks the car by the street before helping you. you both walk down the lane, admiring the surroundings and how couples are all around the place, making you feel like you're one of them too something you've always been jealous of, that you don't have your person but all the people do. but here you are, with your man, walking down to get some ice cream you've been craving.
"the clouds are getting dark." Jungkook says and you look up. "I hope it doesn't rain." You both stand in line, patiently waiting for your turn. You already know what you're going to order, but a strange craving has been tugging at you, and you desperately hope they'll accommodate your request. Jungkook stands beside you, his hand enveloping yours as he gently caresses and plays with your fingers.
he loves how your skin is always so soft, he doesn't know how, maybe it's your body lotion. but it does magic, or maybe it's just you. You're magical anyway. "ooo, I can't wait!" you clap and giggle like a child, which makes him giggle too. You've become such a foodie and he loves seeing you do the happy dance and make all those crazy yet cute sounds.
you feel a few baby kicks and you so badly want Jungkook to feel them but you're waiting until your surprise. You've been planning a few surprises for him and hopefully, they go well and maybe he'll bond with the baby better.
He's getting along well, very well and it makes you so happy but you know he can do better and maybe when you surprise him with everything, then he will open up more and be himself when it comes to baby matters until then you tell yourself to calm down and feel these kicks by yourself.
"good evening kids, what you'll like to have?" the vendor asks, you can easily say he's an aged man in his 50's, who loves spreading joy. you smile back at him and look at the flavors. the cotton candy intrigues you with its pink and purple shades even the birthday cake flavor looks good, so you decide to get that.
"One scoop of cotton candy and a scoop of birthday cake, with some sprinkles, chocolate syrup- oh and strawberry syrup...and maybe some...caramel sauce too," you mutter and Jungkook's eyes widen like saucers when you say all the topping options available.
"Okay-" "in a waffle cone!" that was all it took for Jungkook to crack up. the vendor laughs too as he shakes his head and grabs a cone. "on it kiddo. pregnancy is wild I guess."
he says to Jungkook, giving him a wink as he scoops the ice cream. "very wild I must say." "It's all a fun ride, enjoy while it lasts.... what would you have?" he asks. "one mint and choc only, thanks," "ew." you comment in a whisper, as Jungkook gives you a side eye.
"here you go, mama." the man hands you the ice cream which looks crazy but you know it's gonna be super satisfying for your cravings. "love to see adults being kids." the man says as he hands Jungkook his ice cream and he pays the bill. "mmmmmm, this is so good!" "is it?" "you wanna tr-" "oh hell no- enjoy your craving miss."
He holds your hand again as you both slowly make your way to the car. "Y/n..." "Mm?" you respond, looking up at him. He glances over to see you carefully shaping your ice cream into something he can't quite describe—you're trying to form its sides and shape it, and it's a bit odd because then you bite into it and it gets all messy, but he finds it endearing.
"What?" you ask again, and he lets out a small snicker. "You're crazy you know." "mm hmm, tell me something I don't know." this makes him scoff as he nods his head and looks at you again. "you keep looking at me... what? is there ice cream on my face?" you ask, not sparing a glance at him, fully focused on flavoring your delicious treat.
"I keep looking at you because you're beautiful," you let out a sigh. "tell me something I don't know." this makes him laugh, he loves your cocky side, you're a crazy woman. As you both walk, he starts to feel a few drops falling on his skin. At first, he doesn't think much of it, but soon enough, it begins to drizzle. "It's starting to rain,"
he says, and you both pick up the pace. He doesn't want you to get wet, especially with ice cream in hand, so you both hurry yet carefully to the car. By the time you reach it, though, you're already soaked. "hurry."
He opens the door and helps you get inside safely before he gets to the driver's seat. "fuck." he breathes heavily while you're struggling to breathe, because you can't stop laughing. "y/n this is not f-"
"oh my god, this has to be the most fun I've ever had in a long long time!!" you say, holding your belly because it's hurting so much with the laughter. "baby you're soaked. oh god.." He takes off his hoodie and hands it to you.
"Here, put this on." you hand him your half-eaten ice cream cone before taking the hoodie. Without hesitation, you slip it on, letting out a soft "mmm" as the warmth surrounds you.
Despite being damp on the outside, the thick material hadn't absorbed much water, allowing his comforting warmth to seep into your body. he admires you from top to toe, he fucking loves it when you wear any of his clothes, it gives him butterflies especially when it doesn't fit you, and it makes him realize how small you are.
"you're gonna be cold though." you mumble as you look over at him and notice him in a tank top, he doesn't say anything just tsks you. You zone out for a moment, wrapping yourself snugly in the oversized sleeves that practically swallow you whole. He watches you with a soft smile, shaking his head in disbelief. You're such a kid—it's almost hard for him to believe.
Just a few months ago, you were so different, someone he imagined would grow into a fierce, unstoppable woman. But now? Now, you're just a sweet, endearing puppy, and this whole journey has been nothing short of a whirlwind. "shall we go home?" you look at him immediately. "what no! we didn't have dinner-"
"but you're wet, baby. let's get you changed, don't want you to fall sick now." he turns off the ac and gives you back your cone. "you've had ice cream too.. and we have to pack anyway, we'll be leaving in a few hours." "yeah now that's exciting." you mutter and he raises his eyebrows. "woah you're being straight-up rude now."
"What?!?! I just want you all to myself." he places his palm on your thigh and rubs it. "you have all of me anyway." "yeah but.." you let your finger caress his jaw to tease him and he understands your motive yet he doesn't say anything, he knows if he says something to tease you back, you might hop on to him and just take him raw.
now that's not what he wants, not in the car and certainly not in the middle of the streets, You've both outgrown that with this pregnancy, now it's time to be more responsible. "I know darling, I know." "ugh Jungkook, you're such a pussy blocker." he cracks up and looks at you like you're insane. "what the fuck is that?!!" "exactly what you are, mister." "Oh, baby..."
you both get back home safely, your mother rushes to bring a towel to dry off your hair and Jungkook does his own. "did you both have fun?" Your mom asks, and you nod quickly, spilling everything about what you both did—how the time flew by, how many bathroom breaks you had to take, and how you ended up getting ice cream.
;
Meanwhile, Jungkook takes over the packing. Since you're busy hanging out with your parents, he figures it's best to give you three sometime alone. After packing his stuff, he heads upstairs to tackle yours too.
"Hey, I'll do your packing, okay?" he says softly. "I'll help y—" "No, no, don't worry. Spend time with your parents," he whispers with a reassuring smile, just as your mom asks if you'd like some tea. "I'll have black tea!"
he shouts before heading upstairs. Jungkook steps into your room and opens your wardrobe, ready to pack your clothes. As he pulls the doors open, his eyes catch the posters plastered inside. He can't help but laugh, shaking his head at the glimpse of your teenage self.
He starts folding your clothes neatly, grabbing your toothbrush, hairbrush, and face wash before opening the suitcase to pack them. When he spots a few bags tucked inside the suitcase, he hesitates. 
He knows it's your stuff and debates leaving it alone, but curiosity gets the better of him. Carefully, he peeks inside one and freezes when he finds a few baby clothes, most of them with words like "Daddy" and "Dada" printed on them. He stares for a moment, his mind racing, before quickly closing it back up, deciding not to pry any further.
Letting out a small breath, he grabs a fresh set of clothes for you, zips the bag, and finishes up quietly. "did you need some help?" you scare him when you walk inside the room, he sighs and shakes his head. "nop, all done." you hand him the tea and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. You notice he's a bit quiet and it whirls your mind a bit then you think, he might seen the little clothes. "did you snoop on my things-"
"what?! No!" he says too fast which takes you back but then he sighs and nods. "I did, I'm sorry- I didn't mean t-" "dad gave them..." You say it with a small smile, but his brows knit together when he hears your words.
"But when?" he asks, genuinely confused, especially since he hadn't noticed your dad going anywhere. You chuckle softly, placing your hand gently on top of his. "After you told him..." "Told him what?"
Jungkook blurts out, utterly baffled. He stares at you, completely lost, trying to piece together what you mean but coming up empty. "about you.." you whisper and this makes him chuckle. "seriously?" "I know my dad is a bit.." "he's cool, he's a cool dad." Jungkook says, remembering how kind your dad was to him and how he jokes around.
"I- i never got a chance to say this because I was upset too but... I'm sorry that they were rude to you. They never usually do that but I think everything was too overwhelming so-" "You do not have to say sorry for that." Jungkook turns to face you, taking both your hands in his and holding them tightly. "I understand, it was a very justified reaction.
Your parents are sweet, I'm just happy that they are supportive now and have accepted me." his words touch a part of you and you can't say that you feel very grateful to have an understanding man like him.
He looks at you and smiles, his eyes smile before his lips do and that says everything you. You can't wait to tell him the words that you've been feeling, but you know the right time will come and it may be now but next time could be better.
The two of you continue to look at each other for some time until he takes his palm and places it on top of your bump, caressing it. "all good?" he questions and you nod, placing your palm on his. "All Very good." the two of you break into laughter. 
;
The four of you sit down for dinner together. Your mom initially planned to cook, but you were adamant about getting takeout from the In-N-Out pop-up since it's something you can't get back in Korea. The meal is lively, filled with laughter and lighthearted jokes, making the evening feel warm and effortless. You're relieved to see how easily Jungkook connects with your parents, but for him, it's something much deeper.
He's not just bonding—he feels like he's found a family, a complete one. He sees your mother as his own, your father as the father he's always longed for. It's everything he's ever dreamed of, and for once, it's not just a dream. He's living it. "okay y/n, time to leave." he looks over at his watch, the cab is gonna be here any minute now.
You nod and walk to your mother, giving her a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Mom." "Oh dear, take care of yourself and the baby. Call me every day, and let me know when you deliver, okay?" your mom says, cupping your face gently before kissing your cheek. She then caresses your bump with a warm smile. "Oh, the baby is so big! I can't wait to meet him or her." You smile back, your heart full. Your dad steps closer, waiting patiently for his turn.
He looks at you with kind eyes and opens his arms wide. "Take care, honey," he says softly, pulling you into a warm hug and placing a tender kiss on your hair. Jungkook stands to the side, watching the whole exchange. A tinge of emotion swells in his chest as he takes in the sweetness of the moment. It's heartwarming, almost overwhelming, to witness such love.
Then your dad turns to him, his expression just as warm. Without hesitation, he pulls Jungkook into the biggest hug he's ever received, leaving him momentarily stunned but deeply moved. "take care, son, we're always with you. " Jungkook feels something in his veins, he feels so loved, he feels that fatherly affection and it's so so nice.
"take care of my y/n, and the baby too yes?" "will always, dad." Jungkook gives your dad another hug, a tight one which makes the both of them chuckle. you smile and hold Jungkook's hand. "take care Jungkook." your mother says and he smiles. he runs to give her a hug, carefully placing his arms around her as she pats him in the back. "see you soon, mom.." he mumbles and she gives him a tight forced smile. "the cabs here, we'll take your leave"
Your dad helps you to the door, steadying you with a gentle grip, while Jungkook lingers behind to grab some snacks, something you always seem to forget. "She always forgets to pack snacks," he mutters to your mom as he stuffs a few bags of chips into his carry-on. "She knows she'll be hungry in about four hours, She can be so clums—"
"I know my daughter loves you with all her heart, and I know everything was just a mistake, but if you don't marry her, Jungkook... I swear, I will not let her stay with you for long." Jungkook pauses as your mother speaks.
"I love my daughter, but I also value our family name, she's naive and has done a terrible mistake which i can not reverse, but if you don't make things legitimate—like they're supposed to be- I might as well, find someone better for her."
next chapter ⇢
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i don't usually type a/n notes here because i don't have much of an audience here on tumblr like wattpad but happy new year!! hope this update was good enough, do leave a like and comment if you enjoyed reading this chap!! mwah.
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ramp-it-up · 11 months ago
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II Most Wanted Pt.I: And I don't know what you're doin' tonight…
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Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup"
Summary: The feeling and flashbacks you get when you saw your high school boyfriend Jake Syverson at your 20 year reunion was quite the unexpected twist in your orderly life.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Angst, pining, body image issues, flashbacks, horny teenagers doing horny things (over 18 tho) heavy petting, fingering, mentions of teen pregnancy, mentions of breakups, teenage mean girl behavior, the Powerpuff Girls, old automobiles, mentions of drug abuse and difficult childhoods, 20 year high school reunion, drinking, swearing. Explicit description of sex acts. Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.
A/N: This is the first installment of II Most Wanted. This is also my first fic in nearly half a year. If you like it, please reblog and comment.
I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
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June 2024
The visceral reactions started as soon as you entered the parking lot. There it was, Sy’s 1978 white Ford Bronco. Not thinking, you pulled into the space right in front of it, wanting to look inside. You almost lost it when you saw the old charm hanging from the rear view mirror. You couldn’t believe he still had that.
Especially with everything that happened since you put it there.
April 2004
“I claim this ancient truck as my throne!”
You were lit and in love, parked with Sy at the lookout. You were also silly and giggly from smoke and hormones.
“Mmmmm, careful Buttercup.” 
Your boyfriend growled in your ear, making you shiver against him. His attempt at menace was thwarted by the smile you felt against your neck, where he was busy marking you up, a sure sign later for everyone to know who you belonged to.
Sy was known for making bloody the face of those who expressed hate for his beloved Betty Bronco. But you had him whipped.
“It’s a classic, but I’ll let that slide...” 
He wished that you would let him slide, but you were adamant that you weren’t ready to be a parent. He was adamant that that didn’t have to be the outcome, but beneath the red blooded country boy was a gentleman. Sy would never do anything you didn’t want to, not that it stopped him from trying to convince you to admit that you in fact, wanted it as much as he did.
He wasn’t wrong.
You sighed as you placed the Powerpuff Girl necklace you got from Hot Topic on Sy’s rearview as you sat on his lap, giving him a treat. He had you in his grip by the hips and he was subtly moving you against his boner. The attraction between you two was heady, and he almost got what he wanted plenty of times. But you were a romantic and wanted it to be special. You promised him prom night, and Sy couldn’t wait.
“..Driving me crazy, Baby. You can put anything on my rear view as long as you let me get your rear view in the back seat….”
You giggled.
“You’re so corny, Sy.”
You whispered as you turned your head and kissed him over your shoulder. 
“Hmmmm. And you’re so sweet.”
Sy’s sea blue eyes gazed at you as he licked his lips.
He was crazy for you. And you were for him. You felt it. And you just knew you’d be together forever. You grinned as you climbed over him into the back seat. Didn’t hurt to fool around a little, even if you weren’t gonna give him the p that night.
——————
You shook out of the memory as a warm June breeze whipped your short skirt around your thighs. You pulled on the yellow and white designer dress as you contemplated driving back to your hotel and changing. This dress was not a good idea. The triumphant feeling of serving looks when you appraised yourself in the mirror was replaced with anxiety. The dress was too short and you were not the same size you were in high school. Thighs you considered pretty and thick in the mirror just an hour ago seemed massive and you tugged at the deep plunge of the neckline without a bra.
You sighed as you tried to center yourself. You told yourself that you were growing out of negative self talk, especially in the last seven years since your divorce. You were reminded of your promise to never care about the, male gaze again. It just wasn’t worth it.
But you hadn’t been under Jacob Syverson’s gaze in 20 years.
——
Sy posted up at the bar, blue eyes taking in the scene of his former classmates reuniting. He downed his two fingers of Maker’s Mark and asked for another. His heart rate was up as he scanned the room, eyes going back to the door again and again. He was waiting for you. No use in denying it to himself. He wanted to see you again, and more. It was his one objective. An objective he was unsure of attaining.
He was more nervous about being in a hotel ballroom tonight than in Afghanistan. 
Christ, he felt like that 17 year old kid again who first laid eyes on you.
——-
August, 2003
Sy knew what he wanted the moment he saw your face. 
You stopped the world when you first stepped into his British Literature class the first day of senior year. He was seated and talking with his best friend and wide receiver, Jeremy Atkins, when the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He let the conversation about which route they should run at the scrimmage that afternoon slip as his eyes lighted on your face. You were anxious, but trying not to let it show. Those eyes held fire, and your lips…
…well your lips besides being everything he dreamt of, he just knew the words that came out of your lips would light someone up as well. He could tell you had spirit by the way you carried yourself.
Your hair was wild and shoulder length, bangs swept aside for vision, and you couldn’t hide that body under your baggy clothes. He lasered in on the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra underneath your graphic tee, and power that  the strip of skin between your shirt and your baggy jeans was not lost on him. He was a 17 year old male, after all.
Sy shifted in his seat as he leaned back and grinned to himself when you scanned the room, glaring at anyone who looked askance. He tapped his pencil on the desk to try to get your attention but you just ignored him as the group of seatless students surrounding you dwindled. You were left alone under the scrutiny of soulless cretins, otherwise known as teenagers. 
You gave each one brazen enough to stare at you a side eye, but you stopped when you finally noticed Sy smirking at you. You stuck your tongue out at him, causing him to choke on a chuckle.
Becca Ferguson, Sy’s girlfriend, kicked him in the leg after noticing that not only Sy, but Jeremy were openly staring at you. Shit, he’d forgotten about her. He caught the way her eyes cut over to you, and he knew what came next. He tried to distract her with a flip of the shelf of his blown out curls and a smile, something that had worked many times before. 
But you were a threat to Becca now; she had to do something about you.
You raised your head high as you walked to the seat that Mrs.Beatty pointed out. You passed down the aisle between Sy and Becca, who scrunched up her face as if she smelled something bad. Sy got a whiff of you and you smelled divine, like that Sweet Pea bath gel stuff that he played off sniffing when he went to the mall with Becca. 
His head turned.
Becca glared at him and he turned toward the front of the room, where the teacher had started to pass out the syllabus. 
—--
June 2024
Just like lunch on the first day of school at Central High all those years ago, Carla and Tiffani engulfed you and took you under their wings when you walked into the Marriott, the venue for your reunion. They crowed over you; your hair, your dress, your glow. You forgot any anxiety that you were feeling about how you looked. These were your best friends. Your Bubbles and Blossom.
These women filled the gaping place in your heart torn open from attending 10 different schools from K-12, following your mother’s loves and whims when she didn’t take her meds, or when she self-medicated. They were your soul sisters. And you still kept in touch even though distance separated you.
Carla had that grin on her face while Tiffani expressed her excitement that you were in town.
“Girl! I am so glad that you made it!” 
Tiffani was the gentle one.
“Yeah, I owe Tiff a c-note, because I was sure you’d chicken out.”
Carla laughed at you while you scowled at her.
Tiffani tskd at her bestie, and took your arm while Carla took the other and they ushered you through the doors of the ballroom.
“Well, she has a new job in town and everything, she had to come.”
“Yeah, she had to come to town, but coming tonight is a wholeeee different story.”
You laughed.
“I don’t have the job yet, Tiff. Interview is Monday. And why wouldn’t I come tonight?”
The familiar banter was back, as if 20 years was no matter at all between you and your girls.
You heard someone clear their throat behind you and Carla peered over her shoulder and then smirked at you. She jerked her head back.
“Because of that.”
You looked over your shoulder, smiling right before your stomach dropped.
There was Jake Syverson, all grown up, and staring at you as if all this time hadn’t happened.
—-
Sy saw you enter the ballroom and he almost wanted to run away. Being in country on a dangerous mission was nothing compared to the thought of actually facing you again.
At least he was trained for war. 
Love was another thing entirely.
He took a deep breath as he focused on you. You had always been beautiful, but now, as a grown woman, you were absolutely gorgeous. Your hair was sleek and your face was perfectly beat with makeup that accentuated your natural beauty. You were glowing and that smile was…everything.
As he leaned on the bar and scanned the rest of your body in that dress, he took another drink. Sy indeed felt 18 again, because his body was reacting as if he were a randy teenager. Your body was everything he remembered, and more. More of everything he remembered loving and lusting over 20 years ago. 
“Damn.”
He said it out loud and the bartender replied.
“Agreed, Brother.”
Sy looked at the young man admiring you who couldn’t be over 25, and threw down some money.
“Watch it, kid.”
That little bit of jealousy fueled Sy’s bravado, and he found the courage to step to you. 
—--
You froze like a deer in headlights. 
Over the years, you imagined seeing him again, in all different kinds of scenario, and you thought you could handle it, but the reality of the situation just about knocked you on your ass. Time stopped as you stared at him. 
Sy was more handsome with age, if that was possible. His eyes, his shoulders, his hair! His gorgeous curls were short and a shock of hair was growing from his chin. Your body reacted as your traitorous brain instantly thought of how his beard would feel on certain parts of your body. He looked good in a suit, but he was massive. You had on heels, but Sy seemed bigger than you remembered. He wasn’t the lithe high school quarterback you remembered.
You unconsciously walked closer. 
He was taller. 
But he was also huge: bigger muscles, thicker limbs; his body seemed more powerful all the way around.
Heaven help you.
And the way he was looking at you as if he still owned you, as if all everything that happened hadn’t happened. As if all these years…
Your arms went out to Carla and Tiff beside you for some support, but they were gone, and you stumbled a bit. Sy grabbed your arm quickly as you laughed to play it off.
“Hey Buttercup. You good?”
Goodness, his voice!
How could that damn drawl be deeper and sexier than you remembered? And his touch on your skin felt familiar, yet strange, like a touch from a dream. What was happening to you?
“I need a drink.”
Sy was silent for a bit as you got your drink and had a sip. The way you licked your lips made him want to fall to his knees and beg.
—--
May 2004
“Please, please, please Buttercup. Just let me put the tip in. I promise I won’t move. It wouldn’t really be doing it…”
Sy was whispering in your ear and you were mute, waiting to hear more as your pussy pulsed in your jeans, the grind against his crotch delicious torture.
“I dream about it, Buttercup. I feel you, Baby. So fucking wet for me. I just know that it would feel so, so so good. I’d slip right in.”
It was midnight on your 18th birthday and you were in the Bronco, letting Sy feel you up under your panties for the first time. Your head was thrown back and your eyes rolled at how good it felt. You didn’t know how you would hold out. But it was just three weeks until Prom.
You were sat on his lap and he had one hand down your jeans and one up your shirt.
He pistoned his hips up, causing your back to arch against his chest. You could feel his heart beating a mile a minute.. Sy’s voice lowered to a whisper.
“‘M Gonna taste my fingers, Buttercup. Watch.”
You opened your eyes as Sy pulled his fingers out and brought them to his mouth. You whined when he closed his eyes and moaned. You throbbed. It had never been like this before.
“You are so delicious… Need more…”
Sy pushed his hand back down into your pants to get you to do that arch again. It sent him feral to see that for some reason.
His fingers found the source and circled it, causing your body to tense up and your fingers to grab his arms.
“Oh my god! Sy!”
You’d come close to this feeling before just grinding with him on the back seat, but this was incomparable.
Your fingernails sunk into his forearms, creating marks for sure. This fueled him even more as he continued his ministrations at your core. He toyed beneath your bra and your mouth opened to seek oxygen as the feeling in your belly continued to tune you to a fever pitch.
“Yes…. Baby….. fuck… You gonna cum on my lap?”
“Hunnnh, hunnh, hunnnh!”
“You’re so fucking hot… I’m about to jizz in my pants… cum for me, Baby…”
Sy grinded against your bottom, and you stiffened while the world’s most wonderful feeling washed over you. You cried out as Sy pinched your nipple and you came, feeling as if the Bronco was caught up in the Wizard of Oz Twister. The world was certainly now in color when you could open your eyes.
Sy held you, watching your beautiful face as you pouted and came back to earth. When you did, your smile was worth all the gold in the world to him. He kissed your temple and slipped his hand out of your pants, sucking your juices off of them again.
You were about to jump him, but Sy interrupted your thought.
“Now that you’ve got a preview of Prom night, let’s get you home, Buttercup. Gotta get your beauty sleep for the festivities later on tonight.”
—-
Sy cleared his throat after staring at you silently for a solid three minutes. The way you licked your lips clean and focused on him was some powerful magic.
“So. How have you been, Sy? How is the family?”
You tried to keep any bitterness out of your voice. The fact that Becca Spurgeon ruined your prom (and your relationship with Sy) by announcing that she was pregnant with Sy’s baby after she was crowned Prom Queen and he Prom King was something you’d tried to get over for 20 years. 
Sy straightened up and looked over your shoulder. You glanced in that direction to see Carla and Tiffani hovering protectively. 
“Well, now Buttercup, that’s a long story. I know you want to hang with your friends. And I don’t know what you’re doin’ later tonight, but I would like to go somewhere quiet and talk about it.”
——
If you like it, hit Reblog!
Next part here.
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woozisguitar · 2 months ago
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seungcheol as your brother Joshua's bestfriend but he hates you and you hate him because you always pulled pranks on him. that was when you were 16, your parents separated and you and joshua just talked a few times, now you are Joshua's wedding and seungcheol is his best man and damn, you both have that jitters of suggestive enemies to lovers thing going on. does it make sense???
congratulations on your 200 followers btw!!!
YES IT DOES OMG! sorry this took so long and hope you enjoy <333
ps: let me know if you figure out the Taylor Swift reference I sneaked in heh
requests for 200 celebration post: open (but slow updates!)
warning: grinding, implication of them sleeping together at the end but nothing explicit, kissing, so much kissing, language, bad flirting? idk, seungcheol biceps (yeah that's a warning), lmk if I missed anything!
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for as long as you can remember, it has always been you, joshua, and seungcheol. all your childhood and a good part of your teenage memories are full of them. sure, being a couple of years apart meant you were in different grades, but joshua always liked having you around and didn’t mind you hanging out with his friends. he knew you were a little antisocial, always scared of approaching people first, and as an older brother, he was rather protective of you.
seungcheol, on the other hand, hated your guts. sure, it might have had something to do with the constant pranks like switching out the sugar in his coffee with salt, or shaking the soda bottle and watching him try to open it for the girl he was trying to sweet-talk, only for it to fizzle out all over her. but in your defense, he did take revenge almost every time, like switching out the ink in all your favorite pens with empty refills. you know, harmless stuff. joshua tried to stay out of it entirely, always refusing to pick sides. his only argument was, “how can i pick one between my best friend and my sister?”
safe to say, you and seungcheol would’ve been at each other’s throats all the time if it wasn’t for the shared admiration for joshua. that was until the night that changed your lives forever.
your parents came home from work and called for a family meeting at the dining table. they informed you and joshua that they were getting a divorce and you’d each have to pick a parent to live with. not a thought, not a maybe, but a fact. you knew they had made up their mind but still tried to ask them the reason. “we simply fell out of love, that’s all,” your mom said, looking down at her clasped hands.
it was that night you found out that people can also fall out of love. joshua didn’t know how to react. he got up and left, mumbling something about spending the night at seungcheol’s. you excused yourself and locked yourself in your room. you knew this was going to change your lives forever.
the date of the final hearing fell on the same day as your 16th birthday. by now, joshua had accepted that this was happening and he’d have no say in it. you, on the other hand, tried not to think about it, throwing yourself into assignments and projects. it was joshua’s idea to take you to the yogurt shop before going to the court—a small way to still celebrate your birthday.
there, seungcheol worked behind the counter, in his teal t-shirt, and you knew this might be the last time you’d see him. your mom wanted to move back to the states, and you couldn’t let joshua leave his friends and life behind. it’s not like you had a lot of friends here anyway; they all knew you through joshua. for the first time, you wanted to give him something in return for all the love he gave you.
joshua dropped you off at the airport with seungcheol. he hugged you tight, eyes brimming with unshed tears, whereas seungcheol looked grim. “don’t miss me too much, asshole,” you teased seungcheol through your own tears as you moved to hug him. he just rolled his eyes in return. “take care of him for me,” you whispered, and seungcheol gave you a small nod in return. you gave them one last look before turning around to your new life.
years passed since the divorce. now you’re in your mid-twenties, and you like to believe your life is pretty stable. you made a few friends in high school and some really good ones in university. you were still in contact with joshua, maybe not as often as before, but you still tried to make an effort to have some semblance of a sibling relationship. you knew he was in a long-term stable relationship, and you loved his partner to death. she was everything and more you could’ve asked for your brother.
you, on the other hand, didn’t have much luck in the romantic areas of your life.
one evening, your brother decided to drop the news of his wedding. you were happy, of course—why wouldn’t you be? joshua was going to spend the rest of his life with someone he loved so dearly. but a small, selfish part of you was scared at the idea of going back to a place you used to call home. you still didn’t feel ready to meet the old ghosts that haunted you. yet, for joshua, you decided to bite the bullet and booked your flight tickets.
when you landed, you saw a message from joshua apologizing for not being able to pick you up as he had to meet with an event planner. however, in his stead, he sent over seungcheol.
making your way through the exit, you looked for seungcheol, and your eyes landed on him. the last time you saw him, you were 16 and he was 18. his then scrawny body had filled out, and a buff, beautiful man stood in front of you. you weren’t particularly in contact with him after leaving, only ever seeing glimpses of him on joshua’s social media, and god did he change.
the first thing you noticed was that he was taller. taller than when you last saw him. and bigger too. the sleeves of his black t-shirt fit him a little too well, and you could tell he didn’t miss gym days. the idea of having his arms cage you under him popped into your head, but you quickly shook it away. this was seungcheol, for god’s sake! joshua’s best friend. but the tiny devil on your shoulder whispered how you weren’t technically that kid anymore.
you may have spent a good five minutes staring before seungcheol noticed and waved you over. “took you long enough,” he said, raising an eyebrow. for a pretty face, he still had the same annoying personality.
you just shrugged and blamed it on customs, trying not to stare at his biceps when he was helping you load your luggage. “so, you’ve changed. how’ve you been?” he asked once on the road. “you’re not the same either. and i’m well. what about you?” “i’m good too, and i disagree. i think i’m still the same,” he said, giving an easygoing smile. “looks like i’m going to have to save my pens then,” you teased. “and i should hide my soda cans,” he laughed.
for a second, you thought that maybe you and seungcheol could finally be friends.
you were wrong.
literally the day after you arrived, seungcheol decided to make it his life’s mission to annoy the shit out of you. whether it was messing with you or disagreeing with your opinions and claiming, “i’m the best man; of course i know joshua better,” he never missed an opportunity to push your buttons. every single time you lost an argument, he’d flash you the same annoying, shit-eating grin from years ago.
you couldn’t believe that for a second there, you’d forgotten how annoying he was—and worse, that you’d found him hot.
the worst of the fights happened on the day of the rehearsal dinner.
“you can’t wear that,” seungcheol said the second you walked out in your little black dress. you had already approved your outfit with joshua, so you weren’t sure what exactly his problem was. “why not?” “because it’s an outdoor dinner. and it’s cold as fuck today. unless you want to freeze your pretty little ass off, i suggest you go and change.” “thanks for your ‘utmost concern,’” you said with exaggerated sarcasm, “but i already asked my brother, and he’s fine with it.” “well, don’t come to me when you’re cold,” he shot back as you pushed past him.
your regret was almost instant. it was annoyingly cold, and your dress didn’t do much to keep you warm. but you knew if you went back now, you’d have to admit he was right—and that was the last thing you wanted. so, you decided to tough it out, hoping the table covers would help you feel better.
it seemed the heavens were out to get you because you didn’t warm up at all. to make things worse, you were seated right next to seungcheol, who tried hard (and failed) to suppress his smirk every time you shivered. halfway through the dinner, he must’ve taken pity on you because he discreetly placed his jacket on your lap, helping you warm up a bit.
“this is why you should listen to me,” he said on your way back to your room after the dinner. “as if i’d ever listen to you,” you rolled your eyes. “what if i make you?” he said, stepping closer until your back was against your door. “you know, i see the way you’ve been looking at me since you got back.” seungcheol leaned in and whispered, “so what if i make you listen and be a good girl for me, hm?” “i’d like to see you try,” you whispered back, leaning closer before quickly unlocking your door and slipping inside.
the day of the wedding was one of the most beautiful events of your life. joshua looked handsome, his now-wife was stunning, their vows were incredible, and the whole event was just mesmerizing.
however, you would’ve enjoyed it more if it wasn’t for a certain encounter with a certain man from two days ago. the same man who was next to joshua the whole time as his best man.
seungcheol’s words played over and over in your head like a broken record, and even though you spent all of yesterday keeping your distance from him, you couldn’t help but admire how his black suit fit him in all the right places. and how desperately, you wanted to see him without it. it truly annoyed you to no end how much you wanted your brother’s best friend at his own wedding.
way to go, y/n.
during the reception, you found seungcheol seated alone, smiling at the newly married couple and the chaos of their friends on the dance floor. a very stupid idea popped into your head as you made your way over to him and took a seat next to him.
he looked over, tilting his head with a playful smirk. “may i help you?” “oh, nothing. i figured if you already know about my staring, why not do it up close? better view, you know?” you smirked, giving him a once-over while sipping your drink. “well, enjoy it all you want.”
the next series of events were a blur.
one second, you were bantering with seungcheol at his table, and the next, he had you pressed against the elevator wall. his lips crashed into yours in probably the messiest and most desperate kiss of your life. his hands roamed everywhere, from caressing your sides to tangling in your hair. when the elevator stopped on your floor, he dragged you toward your room, pressing kisses to the back of your neck as you fumbled with the keycard.
once inside, seungcheol pushed you against the same door he had cornered you against two nights ago and kissed you like it was the end of the world. the slits of your long blue dress gave him enough access to pull your leg up and wrap it around his waist, pressing himself harder against your core. “if you want to stop, tell me right now,” he mumbled against your jaw, his hips slowly grinding into yours. “god, no,” you moaned, pushing him onto the bed and straddling him.
you kissed him with the same desperation as before, grinding against him in a better position now. seungcheol’s lips moved to your collarbone, leaving kisses and marks below it, while you left your own trail of love bites down his neck once his shirt came off. “god, i knew you were a freak,” seungcheol chuckled as you lay on his sweaty chest, both of your clothes long forgotten on the bedroom floor. “well, can you blame me? look at you,” you giggled back. “hm, i suppose that’s what happens after years of pent-up frustration,” he teased, suggestively grinding into you again.
then he said something that caught you completely off guard.
“go on a date with me,” seungcheol said after a moment of silence. you raised an eyebrow. “and why should i listen to you?”
he smirked knowingly. “Because i know you’re not done with me yet.”
he wasn’t wrong. you smirked back, thinking of all the possible ways to get on his nerves.
but first, you had to think of a way to tell your brother how you ended up in his best friend’s bed.
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star2fishmeg · 3 months ago
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ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛʟʏ | sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅs
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Pairing | Quinn Hughes x afab!reader Summary | six years later Quinn and y/n find themselves back in the place it started and old memories truly are precious...but so are new ones Authors Note | enjoy the (long) blurb @thehugheslover, sorry it took so long! This is only going to make sense if you read Feel This Way!!
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The familiar clink of pool balls hitting each other, music at a moderate volume but mainly muffled by laughter and chatting and the back doors wide, opening the basement onto the patio where meat roasted on the barbeque under the balmy sun. Everything had stayed. The world was almost the same as they were back as teenagers but this time, they weren’t as naive, and everyone had grown up. Really grown up, into adults with jobs and lives, new ambitions and what happened six years ago were nothing but fond memories protected by the walls of the lake house. 
Y/n and Quinn sat on the sofa, turned slightly to face each other so they could look out into the rest of the room, her finger gently brushing over the stain between them. The second her skin touched the fabric, it all came flooding back like film tapes, the night Brady stayed over in particular. 
“We were so stupid, but it was a lot of fun,” she began with a chuckle, Quinn turning his head in interest, watching her trace around the splotch, “The Vodka Incident, when Brady brought that vodka, and we all thought it was fucking amazing.”
Cole’s voice groaned out from the distance, followed by Trevor and Jack’s obnoxious laughing, clearly relishing in Cole losing their game of pool. The couple giggled, glancing over at the group, their memories fading in and suddenly they were bought back to that night, and they were sixteen with three fifteen-year-olds and little Luke sat in a circle. The way Cole’s face had screwed up hideously, Jack and Trevor’s attempts to be ‘cool’ but landed them both in the bathroom and gagging and Luke tucked into her side most the night. 
“Yeah, Luke used to cling to you all the time, he was literally your shadow,” he said, watching Luke take a cocky bow after a successful turn, “and Brady, oh my God, you two used to torture me, like, come on, ‘who do you currently have a crush on?’ while you were sitting on my lap? You two killed me.”
Y/n laughed fondly, watching Brady enter the basement waving tongs like a magic wand, passionately interrupting the guys by fact checking them about something too muffled to make out from where she was sat. She then remembered the argument she and Brady fell into that everyone retold as if they’d thrown fists at each other, “Honestly, I thought you’d be jealous that I’m close with Brady too, but I was so wrong.”
“How about we not bring up my teenage insecurity, I felt so lame,” he smiled, hand taking hers and interlacing their fingers. He remembered that part too well, Jack and Luke loved to bring it up with him because for them, it was peak comedy and a learning curve on what not to do. Watching it happen was not as funny, but Quinn was their older brother, so how could it not be funny? “You don’t even understand, y/n, I got a scolding, from Jack.”
“Well, I was also lame so we’re even. Luke told my brother about the whole thing and that fucker did not let me live it down.” She grinned and placed a kiss on his nose, “You know what he said? ‘Yeah, everyone knew Quinnifer was, like, in love with you’ the little loser.” 
He groaned playfully at the nickname, even after all the years her brother still called him that. He really couldn’t escape that one, he’d somehow obtained it during college, y/n’s brother just started calling him Quinnifer out of the blue and his only explanation being that the women love it and it’s catchy, but it was better than other thing’s he’d been called.
Looking back over at the group, their friends that’d grown up with them, but whose personalities hadn’t changed, they wondered what it’d be like if they were sixteen again, and what they’d do differently. But they weren’t sixteen anymore and all the angst had been and gone, that chapter closed. Quinn was captain of the Vancouver Canucks and y/n was flying in her own career, and while they’d achieved so much by twenty-five, Quinn still had a list he wanted before he could feel satisfied.
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Moonlight shimmering over the ripples of the lake, warm lanterns illuminating along the dock just like it always had. Y/n and Quinn’s bare feet padded along the wood leisurely, hands encased in each other’s and not a word spoken between them, they just needed a bit of peace away from everyone, even just for a moment. Passing the boats harboured up, Mila came to mind. Not in any other way than what happened that day and how he felt y/n’s desperate, burning glares from the other side of the boat, how he wished it was y/n breasts pressed against his shoulders and not some random girl’s. 
“I should’ve just told you how I felt from the start,” Quinn mumbled, but his voice clear from the serenity of the dock, nothing but crickets singing and distant chatter, “Like, we wouldn’t have had to go through that confusing, are-we-are-we-not phase. I can’t believe I was such a pussy.” 
Y/n giggled, swinging their arms, “Don’t blame yourself, I was also responsible. I told most the story to some friends in college, and even they thought it was obvious we liked each other. I sort of wish we hadn’t had that situationship, like, we were just hurting ourselves.”
“Yeah, no, I agree. Had me crying myself to sleep, it was fucking stupid.” 
“I know, Jack told me the night of the Vodka Incident, he saw you crying when we were going to sleep.” She didn’t need Jack to tell her Quinn cried that night, she felt his tears on her skin and the way he’d squeezed her like she would evaporate, his favourite teddy bear. She just never said anything, no need to bring up the painful past when they were living in their own paradise in the future. 
The more time she spent in the lake house, the more the memories swirled in her mind, not dwelling just remembering the times she couldn’t during the hockey season. The lake was a sanctuary, a museum of youth that held so many minor details you’d never see unless you were searching for them, like the names etched into the decking, aged but still prominent.
Quinn glanced down, barely reading the names scratched into the wood until he walked over something he distinctively remembered scratching with Brady, right before they were off to college; Q + y/n in a heart. He stopped right above it, tugging y/n back to face him, sweat forming on the back of his neck with butterflies in his stomach. Y/n blinked twice at him before raising a brow. He pulled his hand away, wiping both on his shorts before taking a deep breath.
“Uh, hey, listen…” his eyes shifted to her ‘Q’ necklace, to her eyes and then back to the etching on the floorboards before her necklace again.
“Q?” she asked, head flooding with multiple scenarios, piecing together location and their ages, his sweating, the fizzling in her chest and down to her stomach, “Oh God, you’re not getting traded, are you?”
His eyes widened, “Huh? No, no, Jesus no. It’s uh…well…um, just wanted to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you. You’ve, um, been by my side forever and I’ve been, uh, thinking about the future…”
He dropped to one knee, sliding a little, velvet box from his pocket and held it out in front of her, eyes sparkling under all the little lamps but more importantly because when he looked at her, he saw the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. The most caring, supportive, girlfriend. His best friend who, no matter what, never gave up on him. He gazed at her with dilated pupils that may have well been hearts. Y/n’s eyes widened, her lips parting slightly as she gasped gently, hands covering her mouth, and she struggled to hold back the tears welling in her eyes.
“Y/n L/n, I have loved you since we were fifteen and only you can make me feel this way. There isn’t anyone else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, in sickness and in health. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” Quinn’s voice shook, not a filler word tumbling out for once. All those days rehearsing his speech in the mirror paid off, all that stress lifting off his shoulders and she watched his hands tremble.
Y/n nodded desperately, tears spilling down her cheeks, “Yes, of course!” 
He grinned from ear to ear, corners of his eyes creasing as his eyes watered, wiggling the ring - polished with her birthstone - from the cushioning and sliding it onto her finger, his arms wrapping around her waist firmly. He held her close into his chest, spinning her around with his face buried in her shoulder, his heart swelling. When they rounded back to their original spot, they melted into each other’s bodies as they always had, t-shirts soaking up the salty tears of joy, the realisation of how far they’d come hitting them like bricks. Y/n and Quinn Hughes, forever and always. Their new chapter, with new adventures and the start of their own little family one day.
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no-passaran · 4 months ago
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what are your favourite catalan movies?
I'm going to be very mainstream here but I loved Casa en flames (A House On Fire) so much. I think it's the best movie I've seen this year 2024 (not best Catalan movie, I meant best movie of any nationality). Btw, this movie is now available on Netflix with English subtitles! It's a comedy-drama about a family that meets in their holiday home before selling it and all the problems and secrets are brought up, revealing the character's insecurities. It's very well written and shows again how Emma Vilarasau is such an amazing actress.
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Another movie I absolutely adored was El mestre que va prometre el mar (The Teacher Who Promised the Sea). I doubted on including this one as Catalan movie or not because it's a Catalan production with a Catalan actor as main character representing a real Catalan man, but the movie is mostly in Spanish since most of the events take part in Spain and not in Catalonia, but I think it still counts. Either way, it's a beautiful movie and definitely my favourite movie of 2023. It's explained from the view of a woman who wants to find out what happened to her grandfather's family and ends up visiting a mass grave being dug up in central Spain (context note: the state of Spain is the 2nd country in the world —after Cambodia— with a highest number of disappeared people because of all the people in mass graves during the civil war and the early years of the dictatorship, thousands of families are still looking for their relatives). It leads her to uncover the real story of Antoni Benaiges, a teacher from Catalonia who was sent to teach in the landlocked Spanish countryside in the early 1930s (pre-Civil War). It's a very heartwarming antifascist story about what a teacher can be, about children's freedom, and a reminder of the importance of historical memory. I really recommend everyone to watch it. (The movie can be streamed in Movistar+ and rented in many other international platforms.)
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Other Catalan movies that I liked a lot are La Vampira de Barcelona and Salvador.
La Vampira de Barcelona (The Barcelona Vampiress) (2020) is a thriller with drama and some horror based on the real story of a woman who lived in Raval (poor quarter in Barcelona) who was accused of being a serial killer kidnapping children to use their blood in the early 1900s. I really liked this movie because I think we've all heard the legend but here the filmmakers went for a more historically-accurate version of what happened and how she was used, with a strong social critique, so it was a very interesting take on the story. It talks about very heavy topics though including children kidnapped to be forced to prostitution. (It looks like in some countries it's on Prime Video but I don't know what subtitles or dubbing it has been.)
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Salvador (2006) is a biopic showing the events that led the 25-year-old Catalan anarchist Salvador Puig Antich to be sentenced to death in 1974. It's been years since I watched it now, but I remember when I saw it as a teenager it impacted me greatly even though I already knew the story. (The whole movie is on YouTube but without English subtitles, for streaming platforms it's on Filmin but it looks like it doesn't have English subtitles either, but there are downloadable subtitles online.)
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ckret2 · 2 months ago
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Would Mabel being the reincarnation of Bill cause a rift between her and her family? I imagine that even though they know that Mabel and Bill are two different people it'd be kinda hard to get over the fact they ARE fundamentally the same being,especially for Ford.
Now, that's the problem. They AREN'T two different people. That's the whole point of this specific AU's take on reincarnation. It's not "Mabel happens to now possess the soul that was formerly used by some other guy" but rather "this is that guy after working on himself for thirteen years, she just didn't remember it until now."
"We know you're two different people" is the kind of thing her family might say to be reassuring. But in her ears it'd be like if she's on trial for murder and her family says "We love you because we know you're innocent," when actually she did totally commit that murder, and it was premeditated, and she didn't even have a sympathetic motive. Like it's nice of you guys to say that and I know you mean well, but if you only love me because you think I didn't do anything wrong, would you still love me if you understood the truth?
The biggest rift is on Mabel's end. She's holding back from letting them find out for as long as possible. It's not coming out until they put together the evidence themselves or she has a breakdown and confesses while in tears. And, naturally, when she's trying to keep that big a secret from them, she's gonna be withdrawn.
Like, there's a very high probability that Gideon finds out before any of the Pines do, that's how hard she's trying to keep it from her family.
When they DO start finding out?
Dipper's known Mabel almost fourteen years; he knew Bill two months. He's gonna get over it the fastest.
He's cracking annoying brother jokes before you know it. "I mean—you didn't manage to kill me in the womb, I don't think you're gonna do it now." "I forgive you for the sock puppet thing but now I REALLY wish I'd done more dumb stuff in your body while we were body swapped. As pre-revenge."
If anything, ultimately this turns out to be GREAT news for Dipper. He spent all last summer being pissed off that Bill had all the secrets of the universe and just wouldn't share them, to be a dick. WELL GUESS WHAT. NOW THEY'RE SHARING A BEDROOM. He's keeping her up until 3 a.m. asking about every conspiracy theory in history until Mabel lies "sorry, my memory of that one hasn't come back yet. Maybe my memories would return faster if I could GET SOME SLEEP..."
Stan's known Mabel off and on for fourteen years, and has gotten to know her really well over the past year; he knew Bill for—lemme check how long his death scene is—under two minutes.
Try to tell Stan that Mabel's Bill and his first reaction is "WELL THAT'S STUPID AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT." "But she can set fires with her brain." "Sometimes teenage girls do that! I saw it in a horror movie!" He's gonna process the news about the same way he'd process it if Mabel told him that she's some gender he's never heard of before: he's confused and too damn old to understand this complicated identity stuff, but he loves her even if he only understands half of what's going on, and he'll punch anybody who looks at her funny because of it.
Ford's only known Mabel since last summer; he's known Bill over 32 years.
This AU ain't a fic, so there's not a single set plotline, just a whole bunch of ideas that may or may not actually happen if I were ever to turn it into a story; and because of that there's a lot of ways things could go down with Ford, on a wild scale from hilarious to heartwarming to tragic, depending on what I think is interesting on any given day. But in many potential timelines, the first and most pressing question Ford's facing isn't "can I still love Mabel even if she was—is—Bill?"
It's "How do I kill Bill again?"
Because he knows Mabel the least and knows Bill the best, he has the best odds of looking past what everyone else sees as "haha that's just Mabel being Mabel!" and going "that's Bill fucking Cipher"; and because he hates Bill the most, he's the absolute last person Mabel would voluntarily tell about her exciting new personal discovery—meaning that he just has to draw his own conclusions. If he sees Bill looking at him through this little girl's eyes and clearly trying to convince Ford that he's not Bill he's gonna assume Bill's back from the dead and possessing his niece.
If Ford finds out, Mabel's not just afraid he won't love her anymore; she's also afraid he'll want her dead. If anything, him thinking she's possessed would be a good thing, because it'll buy her a little time while he's looking for a way to "extract" Bill to "save" Mabel, whereas if he knows the truth he'll know there's no Mabel to save.
Worst case scenario, she fears that, if he finds out, she's dead as soon as he can get his hands on her—unless she can find a way to defend herself.
Of course, this is Gravity Falls, where the power of love & family always wins, so in reality if he found out no that IS Mabel it'd stay his hand while he tries to figure out what's going on. His hatred for Bill is weaker than his love for his family. But she doesn't know that.
After all, Mabel's known Ford for 32 years, and for 30 of them he was on a suicidal vengeance quest to kill her; he's only been her grunkle since last summer.
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