#i have had this written all morning

[razrogue]

Folks should be mindful when engaging with Black creator's OCs through appreciation type stuff (gifts of fanart/fanfic/etc).

If you're unsure if you're capturing the essence/appearance/personality of their OC, ASK!

I understand wanting to surprise a creator with a gift because you want to show your appreciation for their OC. But that gift is harmful when the creator sees you've whitewashed their OC or applied stereotypes or tropes that aren't a part of the character.

When in doubt, ask

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[dichromaticdyke]

i can't lie, abigail is dear to me, but doesn't she count as a love interest? she's the point of interest of a love triangle with two of the band members. she has the lead singer give her head. said lead singer proposes to her in aotd!

as much as i'm a big proponent of making every character queer (and being romanced is not the sole purpose of abigail's character) , respectfully, it just seems that canon-wise how is she not?

that’s a good point, one that i think boils down to how you define a love interest. because yes, she is the object of affection to two different characters, but the ways in which they’re attracted to her does subvert the general idea of a love interest if we look at it purely within the context of romantic interest.

pickles says straight up that he doesn’t want to date her, he just wants to have sex with her. and yes, he grows jealous of nathan when she has sex with him instead and when nathan wrongfully says she’s his girlfriend, but i don’t think they really had anything to do with her and more to do with their rift in season 4 altogether. like pickles says in his speech, nathan had not been considering pickles’s feelings in any of his actions. she was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. but even after nathan apologized and said he was basically willing to give her up if it meant he could have him back, pickles lost interest in abigail completely. he doesn’t even show any concern for her in DSR (despite him saying they have to find her as well after the attack). she wasn’t a love interest to pickles, she was an object of sexual desire during a time of celibacy and just a representation of nathan’s selfishness.

nathan is more complicated though…

i’m gonna look at their major interactions throughout the series so we’re on the same page.

“writersklok” - abigail is hired, nathan doesn’t like that she’s here (either because she’s not dick or because she’s trying to change things or both) and he tries to get rid of her

“going downklok” - nathan is trapped in the sub for months with no groupies and not allowed to jack off. he briefly thinks about how having sex with abigail would be fun but doesn’t think he’s allowed to. pickles tells him that may not be the case, and he gets further interest in her. he still doesn’t pursue her for weeks, even despite having a small rivalry with pickles about it. he goes down on her, she runs off, he’s upset because he had to be a service top for once.

“dethdinner” - abigail dodges nathan’s calls after their sexual encounter. he tells skwisgaar he’s probably gonna marry her and have kids with her, he tries to force a connection with her in the album credits, he announces that they’re dating even though, again, she hasn’t spoken to him since the sub.

“breakupklok” - abigail officially quits as dethklok’s producer, saying the relationship was no longer professional.

“the church of the black klok” - nathan apologizes to pickles and tells him that he doesn’t even want abigail if it means he can’t have pickles. abigail is moved by this show of genuine emotion. and then revengeance happens. notably, pickles is the one who reminds everyone else that they have to rescue abigail in turn with nathan.

DSR - nathan thinks about abigail while they’re partying around the world. he thinks about her purely in sexual terms, with her giving him a blowjob and having much larger breasts than she actually does. when she’s rescued, she’s either in skwisgaar’s arms or on the floor. she and nathan kiss.

AOTD - nathan decides he might want to quit music and focus on life instead, pursuing a life with someone he “likes.” he proposes to abigail when she comes to the funeral, telling her she’s the only thing that makes sense. she declines, telling him they weren’t even dating and that she only kissed him because he saved her life. she wishes him well and leaves. nathan and the rest of the band continually says she broke up with him, despite (again) that they were never dating. nathan wants to have a conversation with her but can’t, and when connecting each of the giant aux cords, he apologizes to an abigail that isn’t there, telling her he respects her and wants her to be happy. he also tells pickles that he and abigail never had sex and that if they’d had it wouldn’t have been right.

let’s cut out moments that are either purely sexual in motivation or otherwise platonic. that cuts out “writersklok,” “going downklok,” “breakupklok,” and DSR.

with “the church of the black klok,” this could also be considered a pseudo “breakup” with abigail, as nathan explicitly expresses how he is prioritizing his relationship with pickles over any potential relationship with pickles.

with AOTD, there is also a “breakup” and nathan expressing that he’s moving on from her. however, even the way he expresses feelings to her feel less like genuine romantic interest and more desperation. nathan is dealing with intense PTSD and wants to return to some sort of semblancy of normal. abigail is the perfect vessel to project that onto, and he even never says he loves her. he says he likes her, and he later says he respects her. we can’t really go off any kind of genuine romantic interest here, i think. he wasn’t thinking clearly, and even he didn’t believe he was in love with her. he had definitely deluded himself into thinking they had a relationship that she could “break up,” but again, i’m taking everything he did while he was on xanax and traumatized and depressed and dealing with the weight of the world with a grain of salt.

that leaves “dethdinner,” which i’d say is the strongest argument in favor of nathan having actual romantic interest in abigail—not just sexual desire and not drugged up lunacy. he’s calling her, telling her their moment meant a lot to him, planning their future, and calling her his girlfriend. i could definitely see the argument here that she’s a love interest, as this is the only time any of his romantic feelings for her seem genuine and don’t just seem like sexual desire.

however, and this is getting more into a headcanon/theory territory, i still don’t know if it is genuine. now we know nathan feels things very strongly and that he has had girlfriends before. each of them were very different, though.

rebecca nightrod was verbally abusive and he hated her, though he still felt a sense of betrayal when she cheated on him in her coma, he still devoted himself to her despite hating her. he saw her in her comatose state as the perfect girlfriend, because she could no longer berate him or tell him what to do. yes she was terrible, but the coma was the perfect get out of jail free card, and instead of taking it, he stayed with her. he loves the idea of a girlfriend, even one who’s terrible to him or fucking comatose, but he doesn’t seem to have interest in having to be an active boyfriend.

his different dates in “klokblocked” were never really girlfriends. even when nathan stopped seeing rachel and the band was upset, he insisted that he was never in a relationship with rachel. and of course he never got too close to the other girls because he didn’t like seeing his bandmates with them.

then trindle oh trindle. this is the only girl that nathan seems to really have fallen for. honestly, i mean that even more than abigail. he was much more distraught at the idea of trindle cheating on him. plus he actually spent time with her. like, a lot of time. they made out constantly. though that’s the other thing too. trindle’s relationship with nathan was almost exclusively sexual, the only difference was the label of girlfriend. but she was still seen as a crazy fan, and she never grew past that because she was basically bjork stalker level of crazy. but nathan dated a fan not necessarily because he liked her but because she was obsessed with him and she liked to flash him and suck his dick.

nathan, god i love him sweet as sugar and just as smart, though he’s the only one with several on-screen romances, doesn’t seem to actually want romance. he wants sex, obviously, and he wants the idea of a girlfriend or a wife. but does he actually want it? he stopped seeing so many girls just because his bandmates befriended them and made it difficult for him to have alone time with them. he got lucky that his bandmates didn’t see the girls as a threat and instead as potential additions to their group. that’s an ideal situation, but he still threw it away because it meant he couldn’t fuck them immediately.

so it’s basically my theory that nathan never had genuine romantic interest in abigail. she was another girl that he could potentially use to have his idea of a relationship, but he knew nothing about her. he only seemed to be pursuing her romantically just because they had a sexual encounter that he didn’t even enjoy. it feels to me more like obligation. i’m not saying he wouldn’t have wanted to be with her, he did keep pursuing her, but i doubt how much of that is because he likes her as a person and how much of that is because he wants her sexually.

so, is she nathan’s love interest? i mean, yes and no. he did try to pursue something with her, so i can say that could potentially make her a romantic interest, but there’s so much up in the air as to what his exact feelings towards her were. and if those feelings were all sexual, then that would be like calling the groupies love interests.

[seraphic-sibyl]

I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been

[idolbound]

if anders is a terrorist, so is meredith send tweet.

[smolmakerel]

Life after the Ghostface killings in New York City was somewhat peaceful. As peaceful as it could be with the entire internet hounding you that you were going to end up becoming a serial killer like your dad.

If Sam had it her way, she would ban the internet. Because, honestly? Most of them were a bunch of incels (whatever that even meant. Sam overheard Mindy saying Richie was an incel and assumed it to mean a shitty person - which, true) who needed a positive social life.

And incels were why Sam usually stayed inside nowadays, because she didn't want to deal with shitty people trying to kill her. Again. For the third time.

Literally isolating herself led to the worst possible outcome.

For Tara.

"Um, Sam?"

Sam didn't bother putting the impact driver in her hand down. She whipped around and grinned at her bemused and annoyed sister coming into the living room.

Tara eyed the power tool in Sam's hand, the few screws poking out of her teeth, and the halfway-put-together hammock limp on the floor.

"Is there a reason why you're drilling holes in the wall?" Tara deadpanned, pulling her arms tight across her chest.

Sam looked down at the hammock as if it was obvious. It was kind of obvious. No, it was really obvious. The hammock was still half drilled into the wall and patiently waiting to be stuck across the room to stretch out. She opened her mouth to let the screws fall into her palm.

"I'm hanging a hammock."

"Why?"

"Because?"

"At 2 in the morning?" Sam went to open her mouth to defend herself, but Tara quickly narrowed her eyes and spoke up again. "When I have a final worth 40% of my grade at 9 in the morning?"

Sam slowly closed her jaw.

Tara held her angry glare for exactly 10 seconds before her shoulders dropped as she sighed. She trudged to the chair and curled up in it, patiently watching Sam watching her. Sam perked up at the silent "go on" from her sister.

"It was supposed to be a surprise for you," Sam admitted. She began to stretch the hammock to the other wall and used her stud finder on the wall. She sighed. "I guess I lost track of time."

Tara raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "So you haven't eaten all day?"

Sam laughed at that, nearly slipping and drilling her hand to the wall. Tara jolted at that but calmed down once Sam continued to laugh.

"That's my line, Tara." Sam tugged on the newly drilled hammock and sighed once she was satisfied it wasn't coming down. "Do you like it?"

"I think I'd like it even more if I didn't have to wake up during the installation."

Ok. Fine. Whatever.

Sam dramatically rolled her eyes and discarded the impact driver and stud finder on the half of the couch the hammock didn't cover. She flopped onto the hammock with a groan, hands behind her head.

"I'll just use it then," Sam teased with her eyes closed, "since someone doesn't appreciate honest work."

She could feel the side eye Tara was giving her, and she couldn't help but feel slightly panicked.

Did Tara really not like the gift? Was it over the top? Did it remind Tara too much of... before?

Before Sam could mentally degrade herself about how she should've known better than to burden Tara with this gift, the hammock rocked.

Sam snapped her eyes open at the tipping of the hammock and immediately threw her foot down to the floor for stability. Tara, from Sam's sudden movement, fell the rest of the way into the hammock.

Tara wriggled around, trying to get comfortable, and Sam laid as still as she could. As soon as Tara relaxed, almost completely on top of her older sister, Sam wrapped her arms around Tara and squeezed.

"Gotcha!" Sam said with a kiss to the crown of her head.

Tara grumbled, exhausted.

It was quiet after that. Sam rubbed soothing circles into Tara's back and hummed whatever song came to mind.

"Sammy?" Tara's tired voice slurred into Sam's shoulder. Sam hummed. "I love it; thank you so, so much. I feel like a kid again."

Sam swallowed. Wow. No one had ever really shown appreciation for the things she gave them. To hear how much Tara loved it made Sam love the gift too.

"It's nothing," Sam tried to downplay how happy she was, but the pitch in her voice gave it away.

Tara nuzzled deeper into her sister's bodywarmth, and Sam reached out to snag the wooly blanket from the couch beneath the hammock and toss it over them. Humming, Tara fully relaxed.

"Dos oruguitas," Sam softly sang, tucking Tara's hair behind her ear, "enamoradas.¹"

"Pasan sus noches," Tara mumbled, not even bothering to try and sing right now, "y madrugadas.²"

Sam snorted. Her foot began to lightly kick against the ground to sway the hammock.

The whir of the heater drowned out the honking outside of people rushing to get home and out of the way of the incoming snow storm.

Tara's shoulders hitched, drawing Sam's attention to them. Her eyes went wide when warm tears began to soak her shirt collar.

"Tara? Mi mariposa, ¿qué ocurre?" Sam lifted the two of them up enough so she could wipe away the tears flowing down Tara's cheeks. Each tear was a punch to the gut, and Sam wanted nothing more than to lightly assault whatever made Tara cry. "¿Estás bien?³"

Tara shook her head. "No es nada.⁴ I was thinking about our backyard. We used to do this all the time." She laughed wetly, full of tears. "I didn't know how much I missed it until now."

So... Sam needed to lightly assault herself. Got it.

At least she could make up for all of those afternoon naps in their backyard hammock she missed now.

"Me too," Sam agreed with a smile. She cupped Tara's face and kissed her forehead, and Tara sank into the action with a tired sigh. "Now -" Sam pulled back with a mock stern glare -"you're going back to sleep. You have your final in the morning. Why are you even awake right now?"

"What? You're the one that -"

"Shh, less talking more sleeping."

Tara huffed, but it sounded suspiciously like muffled laughter.

Sam pulled Tara back down and continued to rub her back and push her foot to move the hammock. The soothing motions combined with Sam's warmth lulled Tara into an easy sleep.

But Sam never stopped rocking her foot. She pulled the blanket higher over both of them before hugging her sister.

With Tara now sleeping, Sam silently dissolved into a mess of tears. She was glad Tara wasn't seeing this moment of weakness from her. What would she think of Sam if she knew Sam cried so easily over her?

"Te amo, Tara," she said as she gathered Tara as close as she could, until the world shifted and the puzzle completed. She was whole again. "Te amo mucho, mi corazón.⁵"

Sam closed her eyes and fell asleep with her entire world in her arms.

— ● — ○ — ● — ○ —

1: Two little caterpillars in love

2: They spend their nights and early mornings

3: My butterfly, what's going on? Are you ok?

4: It's nothing.

5: I love you, Tara. I love you so much, my heart.

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

Tim Drake: oh man i hope there’s not an evil inverse me with reversed initials vying for my spot as smartest batkid

Duke Thomas:

[e77y]

Was about to (FINALLY) go to bed and checked my Notes app for… something; I forget what now. And I discovered that an unknown number of my notes since the last one (written almost a full month ago) disappeared for seemingly no reason? I just opened my Notes app and everything was gone 😭 I saved what I could from iCloud, but I am NOT good at freeing up storage soooo idk apparently it hadn’t been syncing for around a month. Seems like it’s everything from before August 18th… I have definitely written things since then, although I’m not sure what lol, sooooo hopefully it wasn’t too important. All I remembered to check for were some fic notes and poem ideas that are definitely gone forever :( At least I think my passwords and other important info is intact 🥹 My sign to stop being the 2000+ notes guy I guess

[catastrxblues]

so glad i decided to go to my school library when i started feeling sick during class this morning because otherwise i would never have found a rare copy of a room of one’s own by virginia woolf and borrowed it and have it at home with me right now ready to be continued oh my god

[localthumbcache]

Can I just. Scream in the tags

[urlocallesbiab]

sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)

i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care

[kath-artic]

today has instilled a new zest for life in me. oh god things could be so so much worse!

[unized-3]

GUYS I GO TO SEE FOB IN LONDON TOMORROW I AM GOING INSANE

[filet-o-feelings]

Do you all realize how difficult it is to write a fic that's only 6% historical AU?? Like the logistics of that??

Also, this thing is supposed to be 8% angst and 12% enemies to lovers but it's shaping up to be able 1% one hurting/one bad communicator to lovers and the bad communication is resulting in way more than 8% angst ����

[ryolightswan]

My tags equal me exploding ☝️☝️

yeah rarepairs but what about rarecharacters. shoutouts to characters with less than 20 fanfics to their name and like 3 people actively making content for them

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Running off of two-ish hours of sleep and two bottles of coffee. I'm doing about as well as you'd expect.