#i have catholic trauma so making fun of it gives me great joy

[smarmykemetic]

I will be starting the discord chat in the Mourners of Outlaws discord (message me for the link) probably around 3:30pm The ritual will officially start at Saturday May 16th 4pm MST (time zone converter). The plan is as follows:

Start the voice chat, wait for the friend who requested the Catholic rite to join. Recite Catholic prayer to the best of my ability.

Make offering to Anubis, and pray to him as a psychopomp to watch over the ritual and make sure that all the souls who don’t want to go to the Duat are ferried to their appropriate afterlives.

As close to 4pm MST as possible, begin the ritual.

Personal prayer/adoration of the Outlaw Dead.

Music and singing.

Discussion of what spells I am willing to ask the OD for help with on your behalf (the ones that have consented/will consent to the job, that is) in exchange for a charitable donation to living Outlaws (especially to ones affected by the virus). I’m planning on researching a handful of charities to suggest, but I’ll accept donations to a charity of your choice as well.

Reversion of offerings and generally hanging out in the voice chat (for fun and so that I can relax and ground myself). Me and my irl friends are probably gonna play a drinking game afterward, and it would be really fun for yall to participate with that, since I bet we’ll all appreciate something goofy and fun after this.

This is going to be an emotionally intense event, as it is every time I do the full rite, especially since the whole point is for us to collectively mourn and, hopefully, begin to process the collective trauma of this awful shit we’re all going through right now. Especially since I know from experience I tend to get a little errmm carried away when doing magic or rituals, I want to warn anyone that this will very likely be triggering to some; I’m not entirely confident in my ability to stay calm once I get going with this. I am definitely going to cry like a baby like I always do can we get an f in the chat, and then I’m gonna get tipsy on the ritual alcohol, so as a perk to helping honor the beloved dead, you get to giggle at me acting drunk and foolish lol. (My bf and a friend of ours, both Norse pagans who don’t really use Tumblr, will also be listening in in person, and you’ll likely get a chance to chat with them too, in case that sweetens the pot for anyone.)

If you want to participate rather than just listen, you’ll need to set up a space to offer stuff to Set, and a separate space to offer to the OD. You don’t absolutely have to use icons for either of them, but consider using the sigils I made to represent different factions of the OD 

You will also need: two candles, lighter, incense, water, two cups, something to give for an offering (one for Set, one for the Dead). The OD aren’t picky, but they love alcohol and music; most of the rites I do for them end up having more of a friendly gathering/party vibe, after the serious and/or magical stuff is done. I think it’s because part of the offering is the company and attention of the living, not just the offerings themselves; basically, after we let ourselves get really sad and angry on their behalf, I’m expecting them to pivot it to a more positive and camaraderie-focused vibe, as they usually do. 

Finally, I want to encourage yall to not stress too much about getting all the details right in your own rituals, and to branch out to invite your own gods, or apply your own traditional methods for such a situation, if you so choose. I highly recommend at least making an offering to Set and asking him for protection before doing anything with the OD, since this whole thing is his project and that means he’s more liable to sufficiently supervise people trying to help him with it, but you can likely ask your patrons/trusted psychopomps to help you with it just as well.

(Ritual under the cut)

Approaching the Shrine:

Awake in peace, Lord of the Red Land, awake in peace.

I come to you, your servant, your son, I come to you.

Your beautiful scent, it calls me forward.

And upon you filling my nostrils

I, your servant, your son, I come to you.

I have made my way and I enter into your presence.

I am one of you.

Do not repulse me on the god’s path.

My feet are not impeded, I am not turned back from the god’s place.

I have looked upon you. I know you.

Your mighty Sha have enclosed me.

I have entered this place with ma’at in my heart

In order to honor each and every Akh in the Duat upon this day.

*Step forward, or open the shrine, depending on your setup*

I open your temple. I come to you.

Your warmth and beauty surrounds me as I enter. I am not repulsed.

Behold, I have come to you to offer Ma’at,

to make sound the Eye for its lord.

Presentation of Light:

The torch comes to your ka, O Set, Lord of the Oasis.

Here comes he who promises the night after the day;

Here comes the two sisters from Ra;

Here comes she who was manifested in Abdju.

For I have caused it to come to you.

Even the Eye of Horus comes to you

Because I have made it so.

*Light first wick*

Come to this Eye of Horus, Great Set.

Let its light renew your youth in peace.

*Light second wick*

 Come to this Eye of Horus, O Numerous Akhu who reside in the Duat.

Come to this light and let it renew your youth in peace.

 The Eye of Horus is your protection, O Weary One.

It spreads its protection over you; it defeats all of your adversaries.

Truly, your adversaries are fallen.

 The Eye of Horus is your protection, O Akhu.

It spreads its protection over you; it defeats all of your adversaries.

Truly, your adversaries are fallen.

 The Eye of Horus comes intact and shining

like Ra on the horizon.

The four torches go to your ka, O Set.

The four torches are your protection, O Lord of Ma’at

You are truly Enduring because of their protection.

 It is Set who causes a torch to be bright for the potent Bas in the Duat.

May you make the living Ba of each and every Akh within your Domain

to be strong with their torch so that they will not be

repelled or turned back from the portals of the West.

 Through your Rebellion and Strength,

Each and every akh in your Domain flourishes.

They are restored to their true shape and form

As sure as the sun crosses the sky every day.

 Purification of offering space:

 *Take up water bowl/pitcher*

 O water, may you remove all evil,

I give you essential water, O Destroyer of the Damned One, a tide in your time.

I bring the flood waters to purify your sanctuary.

I bring you the flood waters to purify your temple

and your statue in your place.

*wet your finger and touch the four sides of your shrine, offering table or plate, etc.*

O Set, your altar is cleansed by the water;

Your altar is purified by the incense;

You are cleansed by Horus;

You are purified by Thoth.

Water invigorates your body;

It is I, your servant,

who comes to you in the palace where you reside.

Presentation of Libations:

 These your cool waters, O Set

have come from your nephew, Horus.

I have come to you having gotten Horus’s eye,

So that your heart may become cool with it;

I have gotten it under your feet.

Accept the outflow that comes from you:

So that your heart will not become weary.

 *Pour the water into first cup or bowl*

 This water is the Eye of Horus,

take it to your countenance,

that it may brighten your face.

 O Set, take this Eye of Horus

Which has been given to you by your son

So that you may live in Eternity

Glorious and pure.

*Pour the water into second cup or bowl*

 O Glorious Spirits, take this Eye of Horus

It parts your mouth so that you may you taste its taste

Accept this Eye so that you may live in Eternity

Glorious and pure.

Presentation of Offerings:

Oh He Who Commands the Riot, stand up and sit down to a thousand of bread,

a thousand of beer, roast meat, your rib-meat from the slaughterhouse, “pulled” bread from the broadhall.

*place first offering*

 As you are provided with a god’s-offering, these akhu are provided with bread.

You have come to your ba, Set, ba among the akhs,

in control of all that he sees, whom the Ennead tend in the Official’s Enclosure.

I have given you Horus’s eye, I have allotted it to you: may it endure for you with you.

 *place second offering*

 O Glorious Akhu, stand up and receive this your bread from me.

O Great Spirits, I will be an attendant for you.

O Enduring Akhu, accept Horus’s eye, your bread-loaf, and eat.

 As everything is for those under your protection,

let everything be for the bodies of the Blessed Dead.

 Grow aroused, you Great Akhu

Take this Eye of Horus and become uplifted.

In your place of Completeness you do not hunger. You have no thirst.

Your contentment is all you know in the land of the Duat.

Your heart becomes awash with joy

And your hearts fill with ma’at.

 As you take in the Eye of Horus

You shall become as complete as every NTR:

your head as Horus of the Duat—an Imperishable Star;

your face as Eyes-Forward—an Imperishable Star;

your ears Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star;

your eyes Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star;

your nose as the Jackal—an Imperishable Star;

your teeth Sopdu—an Imperishable Star;

your arms Hapi and Duamutef—when you demand to go up to the sky, you go up;

your legs Imseti and Qebehsenuef—when you demand to go down to the undersky, you go down;

your limbs Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star.

O Great Akhu, become clean through Horus’s Eye and

Make your bones firm.

O Great Akhu, become Whole through Horus’s Eye and

All of your obstructions will be removed through Set’s mighty Sha.

 You will not perish, your ka will not perish

As Set lives, you shall live.

As you live, Set lives.

 Sun and Thoth, take each and every akh with you,

that they may eat of what you eat of,

that they may drink of what you drink of,

that they may live on what you live on,

that they may sit where you sit,

that they may grow powerful from what you grow powerful from,

that they may sail in what you sail in.

The booth of each and every akh is plaited of reeds;

the flood of each and every akh is in the Marsh of Offerings;

their feasts are among you, gods;

the water of each and every akh is wine, like the Sun.

They will circumnavigate the sky like the Sun,

They shall course the sky like Thoth.

And both akhu and NTRW shall live in peace in the Duat.

Whole and Complete. A million times effective.

 Reversion of offerings:

 O He Who Makes the Sky Tremble, your enemies withdraw from you.

Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of Reversion-of-Offerings.

These your divine offerings revert;

They revert to your servant for life, stability, health and joy.

So that you may flourish for eternity.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 412

Only one more week until Droughtlander, y’all! To start with the positive, I fucking love the Murgsali parts of this episode. Seriously, I know I sound like a broken record but saving Murtagh was literally the best choice this show has made. I would watch the shit out of a spin-off of just that trio’s adventures. Germain can come too.

I still can’t muster a single fuck, flying- or otherwise, to give about Roger. So basically this episode was pretty much like every other episode. I loved some shit, hated some shit, and overall came away with the lingering question of why I still spend so much time on a show that’s barely recognizable as the one I used to fucking love.

At least Dry January is still going strong. Quite proud of myself about that, tbh...

Roger: *runs the gauntlet* Marie Kondo: Does this spark joy? Me: Absofuckinglutely.

Guys I fucking love the Murtagh and Fergus relationship. I love it so fucking much. I cannot wait to see where that goes next season, especially since they’re all headed to live on the Ridge now.

And since this episode isn’t focused on LJG being in love with Jamie, I’m so here for him in this episode. I swear this show gives me whiplash with its characters. Like it’s not a “people are complicated” sort of thing. It’s a “crappy trope that needs to go away” or a “they just did something out of character, wtf” sort of thing.

I get Jamie not wanting Bree to murder Bonnet. I totally understand him not wanting her to have to live with taking a life. But I’m not fully on board with the whole “you need to forgive” stuff. Both here and in the book. Holding hate in your heart will eat away at you and prevent you from moving forward, sure. But you can put things behind you without forgiving the people who wronged you. What Bonnet did to Bree was fucking awful. He’s completely unrepentant. If Bree wants to forgive him, fine. It happened to her, so it’s her call and no one else’s how she should proceed. For me personally, I don’t think he’s worthy of forgiveness. I wouldn’t forgive him if it were me. I’ve thankfully never been in that exact situation, but I’ve been through my own shit and honestly, I’ve chosen not to forgive some people, because that’s asking me to not only endure what they did but also do the emotional work of forgiving them when they’re not sorry. That’s asking a bit too much, imo. Just put them aside and move on, it comes with its own sort of acceptance and peace. Each to their own, I guess.

“This man cannot be good. He was sold by his own people.” I mean, where’s the lie, haha. Yeah he was sold for the wrong reasons, and it’s never ok to SELL SOMEONE INTO SLAVERY (FFS!), but yes, Roger’s a twatwaffle.

“You have learned nothing.” The Mohawk elder speaks the truth, tbh.

Kaheroton telling Roger that he should not smile upon Johiehon had me like yaaas. Sure, Roger’s starved for human kindness or whatever, but like he’s also a chronic inappropriate interact-er with women/crush haver. Like he literally becomes a minster because people think he’s having an affair with one of the Ridge widows. He gets himself hanged because he kisses his great-great-etc.-grandmother. He’s creepily into Claire. I am so here for him being called out for being a fuckboi, haha.

This show is two for two in failing to make me care about rando fallen priests.

Marsali seeing right through Fergus’ attempt at blaming Germain and seeing exactly what he’s up and being like fuck yes, let’s do this thing is my fucking favorite.

I LOVE MARSALI A LOT OK. I AM FUCKING RIDE OR DIE FOR THAT WOMAN.

Y’all have I mentioned how much I fucking love Fersali? Because I fucking love Fersali. They remind me of what Claire and Jamie used to be. *pours one out for the couple that was*

Question though, are we assuming that Fergus knows all about Wentworth because they told him about it after he was raped for Jamie’s story in season two? Getting rull tired of being expected to fill in a bunch of shit that should be shown...

But man, I am so fucking pumped for them to move to the Ridge. I hope it means we get much more of them next season.

I know I’m biased because I have a lot of Opinions about organized religion but basically all this stuff with the priest has me just rolling my eyes. Like cool for him that he like believes in stuff, but also like, do what makes you happy, bruh? You only have one life? *exercises what little self-restraint I have to not go off on a ramble that ties this whole plot line into how being raised Catholic really fucked me up*.

I literalol’ed every time they show Roger trying to fucking Shawshank his way out of the fucking Idiot Hut. Like bro. This thing is made of leaves and branches. Just fucking snap the string or whatever is holding the branches in place and shift them enough to make a hole to squeeze out of.

The Idiot Hut is aptly named.

So in this episode, handfasting means they’re married again. I cannot even with how frustrating it is that this show can’t make up its mind about what it means.

This whole speech of Roger’s about how he’s an idiot is like yeah, no shit, Sherlock. You’re a fucking douchecanoe.

By the end of it, it comes off like he’s the guy from You. Like yeah, you didn’t deserve to be sold into slavery, but buddy. You’re not the victim in your relationship with Bree here. You might not be a serial killer, but your inner Joe Goldberg is showing...

��Like an idiot, I pursued her through time and space, determined to prove to myself and the universe that I did love this woman, just like all those great love stories written by all those great idiots.” Red flag number one, you wanted to prove to yourself and the universe that you loved Bree, but not prove it to Bree? The one person you’d think you’d want to make things right with?

"I pursued her and chased her and finally tracked her down and convinced her to marry me.” Holy fucking stalker, Batman. This comes off as the opposite of romantic. Get yourself a restraining order, Bree!

“We said angry words to each other.” That’s a funny way to say “I was a complete fuckwad to her,” Rog.

“I intended to go home, but then I changed my mind and went back, like an idiot.” Sorry not sorry, but if I were ever with a guy who thought choosing to be with me made him an idiot, I’d fucking run for the hills.

The writers clearly think this is supposed to be like endearing us to Roger and his love of Brianna but really it’s just making him seem like a fucking toxic stalker who’s convinced he’s a Nice Guy™. Roger just keeps channeling his inner Frank. He wants his personal ideal of a relationship with Brianna, with no thought to what she herself wants. He’s fucking repulsive, just like Frank was (even pre-stones). So naturally the show wants us to root for him. *wishes it were February so I could have a drink*

Uh, buddy? Do you know Johiehon wants to leave with the priest? Or are you just being you and assuming/not caring what the woman feels/wants for herself?

Fun fact, we’re still with these idiots in their Idiot Hut and I still can’t muster a single fuck to give about either of them.

Don’t @ me that I’m a dummy because I’m missing the deep and meaningful and yada yada whatever bullshit that they’re doing with these scenes. I know what they’re trying to do. It’s not working for me. At all. Sorry not fucking sorry.

#TeamBadFan5Eva

If we forget about the blackmail and rape threat and creepy being in love with her dad, I’m 10000% more invested in Bree and LJG’s fake engagement than I am in Bree and Roger. But jfc, that’s a lot to be asked to forget.

I’m still not really here for the Bree side of the prison stuff, but the Fergus and squad rescuing Murtagh part is excellent.

I really wish they would have put a definitive end to Bonnet in this episode. Ed Speelers does a great job with him, but he’s honestly not an interesting enough character to merit sticking around as long as he does in the books. Like if we have even more condensed seasons five and six, why the fuck can’t we just be done with him now?

FUCK YEAH FERGUS AND HIS REGULATOR SQUAD!

I hated Bree visiting Bonnet in the book and I really hate it here too. Like yes, if this is what Bree wants and she thinks it will help her, then great. She gets to decide what she wants to do. But this whole comforting your rapist thing just reeks of a fucking woman doing fucktons of emotional labor for the sake of the person who caused her so much fucking trauma. Literally the only part of this scene that remotely works for me is when she gets angry and tells him that he will be forgotten. Like, he’s a sociopath and he gives no shits about you or what he did to you. Why are you trying to make him feel better? I know it’s supposed to be for her, but that’s not how it plays to me...

Le sigh.

I fucking love the scene with Lord John and Fergus. Fucking love it.

(I’m guessing we’re supposed to assume that Fergus and Lord John met in Jamaica at the party in a bit we didn’t see? I think it might have been mentioned at some point, but I can’t remember specifics...)

Murtagh and Lord John fighting over who’s going to take Bree and then agreeing on what’s best for her? Here. For. It.

Y’all, I just want a whole show about this exact squad. Jamie and Claire are so meh now that it’s tough to be invested in them anymore. Roger’s still the fucking worst. But this squad. This squad is my fucking JAM.

But for real, why did we not get a scene where Bree meets Fergus and Marsali. Because this prison break is literally the first time we’ve seen them together and we don’t even know if they’ve met before. You’re killing me show.

Since Murgsali is moving to the Ridge, we’d better get a bunch of Bree and Jem with Marsali and Germain and Fergus next year.

This whole monologue of Roger’s as he’s deciding what to do is supposed to be like showing that he cares for people more than himself (despite his whole creepy spiel in the Idiot Hut) or some shit but like he’s just again ignoring what someone told him to do because that’s his MO. He’s like constantly playing the martyr card when no one even wants him around. Fuck off, Roger.

This priest and his girlfriend honestly don’t merit the amount of screen time they got. Like cool that Roger puts him out of his misery or whatever, but also this is the second to last episode so why the fuck are we spending it on two randos we don’t care about? Because it’s Outlander. So of course this is how we’re spending it.

Johiehon throwing herself into the fire is supposed to be like romantic and shit or reminiscent of Claire offering to die with Jamie at Culloden or whatever, but it really doesn’t work for me. Because honestly, she deserves better. The priest could have chosen to be with her but he picked his faith instead. So why should she die for a man who made her his second choice.

Also like, Kaheroton crying also comes off as creepy because like, dude she just wasn’t into you. Him being upset that Johiehon died doesn’t play like him being sad that a woman from his village killed herself, it comes across like the guy who was “friendzoned” (don’t get me started on that concept...) being sad the woman he was fixated on is gone so he doesn’t have a chance (he never had a chance) with her anymore.

But hey, remember how awesome Murgsali is? Murgsali is the fucking best.

MURGSALI 5EVA!!!

[a7xlizardqueen]

Title: Your Knight in a Sweater Vest

Overall Rating: NC-17

Overall Warnings: Parental bullying, mentions of bulimia, nudity(?), drinking, partying, cursing, very slight mention of war and trauma, smut, poor self-esteem

Pairing: Reader x Steve Rogers

Summary: When you need help dealing with your rude and overbearing family, your best friend Steve Rogers comes to the rescue. Modern!AU - For @barnesrogersvstheworld  Writing Challenge Shot Through the Heart #shotthroughtheheart3k

Chapter: 8/10

Word Count: 2,092 words

Chapter Warnings: Poor self-esteem

-X-X-X-

The moment between you and Steve had passed and you followed Peter and Ned inside and up to your floor. When you get into your apartment you change into sweats and a big sweater, only now realizing that your favourite comfy sweater happens to be one you stole from Steve in college. You can't get him out of your head. You grab a beer from the fridge, make a bowl of buttery popcorn and curl up on the couch underneath a blanket. From your hard drive you select your go-to film for when you’re feeling down, Only Lovers Left Alive.

Steve always made fun of you for it. He didn't particularly like the film, thought it was boring and that it didn't really have a story. Actually, Steve says the only reason you watch it is for Tom Hiddleston, which isn't completely false. However it's for all those reason that this movie manages to calm you down; the deep rolling soundtrack, the slowness of it all, Adam's sadness against Eve's joy and hope at the smallest things forces your heart beat to steady and brings a warm fuzziness to your brain.

Steve would never understand, he doesn't ever doubt himself, doesn't get panicked over anything. And why would he, he's a down right perfect specimen. There's not a damn thing wrong with him from the inside out. He's got the body of a God, the face of a model and the heart of an angel. Even when he's reminded of Bucky's time as a POW, a time you remember well, he stays calm, takes a deep breath, and moves on.

You remember when Steve had found out Bucky was captured. You hadn't known each other for long yet. You expected him to cry, rage, become irate, anything that a normal college boy would do, party excessively, something. Instead he'd become hard, spending all of his time studying or in the gym, killing punching bag after punching bag.

Your beer is empty and you realize you haven't been paying attention to the movie at all. You've just been sitting here thinking about Steve. Fucking Steve. He's all you can think about anymore. Why did he have to go and pretend to be your fucking boyfriend? Now all you want is for the fantasy to be real, and it never will be. How could someone like Steve possibly think you’re good enough for him?

You’re not smart like him, you’re not an unfailingly good person, and you’re nowhere near as beautiful as he is; not to mention your fucked up family. You've never been good at being a woman, your skin isn't silky smooth, your hands are calloused and you often have saw dust in your hair. You rarely wear makeup and never wear dresses. You don't flirt and smile and bat your eyes. There's a reason why your best friends are guys.

Steve and you are never gonna happen. You shouldn't even be entertaining the thought.

-X-X-X-

No matter how hard you tried you couldn't get him out of your head. Even though your lives had mostly gone back to normal, not having any family functions to attend, your brain wouldn't revert back to normal. Whenever you hung out you were always acutely aware of Steve's presence and you began to notice him even more, which you would have thought was impossible.

When he spoke it felt like his voice was caressing your skin, or like you were savoring a piece of decadent dark chocolate. You'd find yourself getting lost listening to the inflections and rising and falling of the tone of his voice, and Steve would have to repeat himself. You noticed how his hair glistened in the sun, all the different shades of blond becoming more distinct. You noticed the flexing of his muscles when he moved, especially whenever you were at the gym together. And his smell, my God he smelled amazing. You didn't care what he smelled like when you would hang out at the bar and he'd be wearing cologne, no. Your favourite scent was purely Steve. After you'd work out really hard and he was dripping sweat and he smelled so primal, so dirty, and so male. Whenever he smelled like that it would make your nipples hard and your pussy ache. You'd never wanted anyone so much in your life.

You began to dream about Steve all the time, too. Sometimes it would just be him smiling at you, maybe sharing a kiss or two. Most of the time you would wake up drenched in sweat, panting, and wanting him. You relieved yourself many times while remembering the filthy dreams your depraved mind conjured while you slept.

-X-X-X-

To your surprise Ines invited Sam to the wedding and so he and Steve took over your room to get ready while you and Ines used her room. Your skin was practically crawling you were so nervous. All because after the wedding you'd have to share a bed with Steve.

"Honey, why don't you just tell him how you feel? He probably likes you too," Ines suggests while curling your hair.

You scoff, "Yeah right. There's no way Steve thinks of me like that."

"I think you're completely oblivious. That man only has eyes for you. Why don't you think he'll like you?"

You shake your head, "You never met his ex, Peggy. She was gorgeous. She was the smartest, funniest, strongest woman I ever knew. Steve was head over heels in love, although they never really dated long. When Buck went missing, I guess Steve kind of shut her out. She moved back to England soon after that. Last I heard she got married and had a kid."

"Y/N, that was a long time ago. Things have changed."

"Easy for you to say. Look at you!"

Ines shakes her head in disbelief, "Oh my God, your mother really fucked you up."

-X-X-X-

Steve texts you that they're already downstairs waiting for you so you and Ines head straight down on the elevator. You fidget with the skirt of the simple black fit and flare, anxious to see what Steve's reaction will be. You’re not sure he's ever seen you in a dress.

"You're overthinking it, Y/N. Calm down."

You sigh and leave the dress alone, "I know. I'm nervous."

The elevator slows to a stop, your heart jolting at the same time. The doors open, Sam and Steve are waiting on the other side of the doors in sleek black tuxedos. You gape and stumble out of the elevator. Steve holds his arm out for you and you steady yourself. His eyes slowly peruse up and down your body and your chest grows warm.

“Wow, Steve,” you smile, “You look great.”

Steve smiles down at you, eyes shining, and says something that makes your heart skip a beat, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

-X-X-X-

Steve takes the four of you to the church in his SUV. Due to Jae's religious catholic family, that meant a church wedding, a long church wedding. There was a lot of standing and kneeling and praying until finally Justin and Jae were deemed husband and wife. You did tear up for a while, but the wedding was so long that they dried up pretty quickly. You and Steve sat one pew behind your mother who thankfully ignored you the entire time.

Back at the hotel in the banquet hall you found out just how amazing Jae really was. As immediate family, you and Steve should have been sitting with your mother and sister, however she sat you at a "black sheep" table with your father and Trish, Ines’ parents, and Ines and Sam. Your table quickly contrasted severely with the other family table. You were already laughing before the bride and groom came in.

The bride and groom were announced to raucous cheers. Food and wine was served. Steve’s attention was solely on you the entire time, even when he was having a conversation with someone else, his hand was on the back of your chair, or playing with the ends of your hair, or laying on the exposed skin of your back, thumb lightly caressing your skin. And slowly you became less and less nervous around him, and actually began to entertain the idea that maybe Steve Rogers likes you a little bit

The speeches are hilarious, performed by Justin and Jae’s best friends who are a couple. There are little Polaroid cameras all over the tables for people to take pictures of each other with. Sam has a lot of fun with that, vowing to get a picture of you and Steve kissing, something you tell him is not going to happen.

When the food is done and most of the plates cleared the fun really starts. The music is turned up and changes to more upbeat songs, urging the guests to dance. Ines’ parents are up immediately. You’re pretty sure they’re the most amazing couple you’ve ever met, you’ll never tell Clintasha though.

There are a few different games around the room too and you and Steve play a few with Sam and Ines. The best one is the giant Jenga game. You all need a moment to catch your breath and sit back at the table. You head over to the bar for drinks. Of course the night couldn’t go perfectly, not in your world. Percy sidles up to you with a smirk.

“You look good, Y/N.”

“Save it, Percy. I don’t care what you think.”

“That’s a new revelation. You used to bend over backwards to make me happy.”

“And you took it for granted and put me in the hospital. Hmm, I wonder why I don’t care about you anymore. Such a mystery.”

“What if I told you I changed?” his expression becomes serious and you pause, looking at him.

“Excuse me?”

“What if I said I wanted to try again?”

An incredulous laugh bursts from your mouth, shocking even yourself.

“You are delusional if you think I’d leave Steve for you.”

Percy smirks, “Yeah, but we both know that’s not real, right? Come on, I remember you and Steve in college. You’re not a real thing. Look, there he is now, cozying up with your sister.”

You follow the tilt of his head and peek over Percy’s shoulder, spying your sister chatting with Steve. She’s giving him her best smile, flinging her hair, and laying a hand on his arm. Steve’s back is turned to you, though. When you look back at Percy he’s wearing a triumphant smile, and he places his hand intimately on your waist. With a sudden burst of rage you throw his hand off.

“Don’t ever touch me again.”

“Come on, babe. Don’t be mad at me just ‘cause Steve’s no better than the rest of them.”

You gasp and realize just how thick Percy is. You grab a champagne flute from the bar and chug it back, then you laugh.

“You’ve gotta be really stupid if you think you can ruin my night with your flimsy accusations. Maybe Steve and I aren’t actually in a relationship. I’m definitely not going to tell you if that were true. Either way, we’re still best friends. Do you honestly think that I don’t know my own best friend well enough to know that he would never be interested in someone like my sister?”

“Hey, babe, there a problem here?” Steve interrupts at just the right moment.

You smile fondly and accept his offered hand.

“There’s absolutely no problem. Thank you for proving my point.”

Without a backward glance at Percy you allow Steve to pull you away. You’re surprised when he keeps walking past the table and instead takes you to the dance floor where many of the couples are enjoying a slow dance. Steve pulls you in tight, one arm on the small of your back.

“What are we doing here?” You ask.

Steve smirks, “I wanted to dance with my girl.”

“But I’m not your girl,” you reply with a smirk.

“Yes, Y/N, you are. I love you.”

Your skin tingles with his revelation, “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

Excitement bubbles up from your stomach and you throw your arms around Steve’s neck, attaching your lips to his in a hurried and fervent kiss. He squeezes you against him and kisses you back until you’re breathless and are forced to part.

“Got it!” Sam laughs, waving a Polaroid in your face before skipping away.

[imaginedmelody]

Fic Recs: “The Exorcist” Edition

As some of you might know (but probably not all of you, since it wasn’t the most well-known of shows), FOX’s The Exorcist TV series was cancelled earlier this month. I am actually a really new viewer to this show; I don’t consider myself much of a horror fan at all, and I’m not familiar with the original Exorcist book or movie. But I had seen the gifsets you all had posted, and the praise you had layered on the show, and it prompted me to give it a try.

Besides discovering that this is a really amazing show, the other thing I’ve found after a couple months in this fandom is that, for a community so small, the fic is exceptional. Like, I feel bad that this show has so small of a fanbase because these fics deserve so many more readers. I’ve stayed up late into many a night consuming chapter after chapter of the multi-chapter fics and AUs that this fandom produces. And it occurs to me that it’s time to share them with you. I hope this inspires you, if nothing else, to read these amazing stories. And maybe, if you really like them, you’ll start watching the show as well.

It’s cancelled, yes. But it’s worth it.

(By the way, if you’re recced on this list, I probably owe you a comment on your fic. If it’s a comfort to you, I marathon-read most of these fics so fast and so voraciously that I didn’t leave myself any time to comment! But I look forward to leaving you feedback.)

1) the “León de mi Corazón” series by @clockheartedcrocodile; Marcus/Tomas, explicit; multi-chapter, series, complete

I consider this series to be a seminal work in the Marcus/Tomas fandom. Beautifully, atmospheric writing that gently expands on the characters as we know them. There’s an emphasis on poetry, and on the dance these characters make towards each other, both of them wounded and wary while at the same time impossibly capable of love. Each fic chronicles a different stage in their relationship, and also a different possession “case” in a different location (except the third, which revolves much more around personal spirituality than their careers as exorcists). They’re beautiful and everyone in the fandom should read them. (Also, as an aside: what is it with my fandoms and future-fics where a pairing lives on a plot of land with orange trees?)

2) “Hace Tanto Que Te Quiero” by @meduseld; Marcus/Tomas, teen, one-shot

A meditation on love, and how it manifests in intimate and yet mosty-platonic forms. This one was just posted today, so it’s a little quick to be included on a fic-rec post, but I read it this morning and it was just so beautiful that I wanted to put it in here with all the rest of the stories that have been around for longer.

3) “i’ve got my mind set on you” by @reckonedrightly; Marcus/Peter, explicit, one-shot

This fic contains possibly my favorite Marcus in any fic I’ve read so far- sassy and tortured and emotionally vulnerable all rolled up into one. Peter is just as he is in the series, endlessly patient and careful with him; this author clearly watched the Peter/Marcus scenes in the show itself very closely and their characterization matches perfectly. I would love to see so much more of the way this person writes these two characters in particular; they’re just beautiful. Starts after the final episode of season 2 and continues, in a pretty canon-compliant fashion, from that point onward.

4) “Up Jumped the Devil” by @clockheartedcrocodile; Marcus/Tomas, explicit; multi-chapter, complete

An AU in which Tomas is a preacher from Chicago (like he is in the actual series) who gets sent to a remote rural congregation whose famous feature is that once a month, the pastor reaches into a pit of snakes and pulls one out without getting bitten. Marcus is a roving exorcist (like he is in the actual series) except with the particular flavor of a Southern Gothic tale rather than a religious horror one. Many hallmarks of the show are present here, just in different forms, and the narrative tension is tight as a wire.

5) “i sent you three boats” by @reckonedrightly; Marcus/Tomas, mature; multi-chapter, in progress

This story has been a joy to read so far, and I’m looking forward to seeing what happens as more chapters are added. It throws us right into the middle of an exorcism, and the premise centers around the idea that in the aftermath of this particularly difficult possession, Fr. Bennett arranges for both Marcus and Tomas to “retire” to a small parish in Michigan. There are complications, of course, and questions as to whether the demons follow them even to this new place, but we’re introduced to interesting new characters and we get to see Marcus and Tomas as fish out of water in this new location. They’ve spent most of the fic so far being stupidly oblivious to each other’s feelings, and now that they’re finally starting to realize, things are about to get really interesting!

6) “ego te absolvo” by peacefrog; Marcus/Tomas, teen; multi-chapter, in progress

In which Marcus and Tomas are neighboring small-town parish priests, Marcus a former exorcist and Tomas a regular preacher, who are developing an increasingly close friendship. Marcus is more and more becoming consumed by traumas from his past, and Tomas is (and has been, if the fic is any indication) trying to gently get him to open up and let Tomas in, both as a friend and as someone with the potential for something more. Lots of angst and hurt/comfort here. The slow-burn of watching them inch closer and closer to acknowledging their feelings is really fun.

7) “Martyrs of the Great Plains” by @nookienostradamus; Marcus/Tomas, explicit; multi-chapter, complete

Another slice-of-life on-the-road fic, this one taking place between seasons 1 and 2. Each chapter includes the motif of a saint, called to mind by whatever the characters are experiencing or feeling in that chapter. There’s more Catholic guilt in here, but that’s par for the course in fics for this show; Marcus’ self-castigation could probably be sensed from space, and there’s angst aplenty because of that. But in exactly the way we love most about him, Tomas pushes him out of his shell and gets him to let go of some of that pain. Each of these fics in this fandom gets them to that place a little bit differently, and that’s what I love about them.

Happy reading, followers!