#i have been kinda taking a social media break and also chilling

[morewyckedthanyou]

anyways apologies to everyone for my long absence - i will try to message ppl back ASAP here or you can also message me of course and say hi.

also HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃🎃🎃

[two-white-butterflies]

invisible string | m33 | part one

Description: You face a career-ending injury, that forces you to give up your childhood dream. 7 years later, you return to the paddocks as a guest - and as the Team Principal of Prema Racing. What happens when feelings are too difficult to hide?

Author's Note: first part focuses more on the past. fc: courtney eaton.

Pairing: max verstappen/racer!reader

part two |

(2015, Mercedes-AMG Petronas.)

(2016, Mercedes-AMG Petronas)

your_name_updates: Y/N L/N wins first F1's German Grand Prix, with Lewis Hamilton third. @itsmee_yn

12 comments 1,293 likes

ynsupporter: I'm so proud of her

maxverstappen1: A well deserved win! WDC next? @itsmee_yn - itsmee_yn: depends if u give me a kiss for good luck - - maxverstappen1: 😳

lewisloversupports: Ya'll let girls into F1 and this happens...

iloveyoulewishamilton: This is totally unfair. Lewis should've won the GP 🤬

itsmee_yn: is it just me or is the redbull garage kinda crazy? @danydk1 @maxverstappen1

19 comments 2,183 likes

danydk1: Crazy because of a certain Mercedes driver.. 🤣

maxverstappen1: You are a spy sent from Merc loll - itsmee_yn: and ur an accomplice for letting me in

ynischampion: I hope that you win the WDC

bandanasupporter: I wish that you'll be the #1st woman WDC

LEWIS HAMILTON AND Y/N L/N'S FRIENDSHIP ON THE ROCKS: HAMILTON WILL NOT LET L/N WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP.

It is no secret that Hamilton and L/N are friends. They have posted each other on instagram, and L/N talks about him in their interviews, but according to an insider - the friendship is reaching an end. With L/N's back-to-back victories and Hamilton's lousy attacks, a rivalry is not out of the question.

When asked why Lewis Hamilton tried to overtake Y/N L/N in the German GP his response was: "What am I supposed to do? Just let the girl win? Of course not, I'm fighting for my championship. This is sports and if she doesn't understand it - she can pack her bags."

L/N is yet to make a statement.

comments

reynaduoo: this is breaking my heart 💔

mercedeslovvvv: Is Mercedes so good that they're own drivers are fighting with each other? 💀

mercedessupports: Y/N L/N and Lewis Hamilton have unfollowed each other on social media. Y/N has also taken off the "Aunt to Roscoe" on her bio.

28 comments 82 likes

isupportmercedes: Mercedes has to talk to their drivers. It's not good to see them fighting with each other on social media. - ynlewiston: it's Y/N's time to shine, Lewis should take a chill pill - - lewislovercarlos: she's 17 years old, she can win her WDC another time. Lewis deserves it more.

itsmee_yn: Me when Max's mom tells him to go home :(

129 comments 3,458 likes

maxverstappen1: BRO? - itsmee_yn: wdym bro, just call me baby

dynastyoffleng: I love Y/N and Max's friendship

(2017, MERCEDES-AMG PETRONAS)

mercedesupdates: L/N and Hamilton have crashed into each other in the Spanish GP (FIRST GP OF THE SEASON). The race has been halted and ambulances have made their way to the duo. According to bystanders and professionals, L/N has suffered a 50G crash and her car has crashed into the wall. Updates are coming soon.

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 @eternalharry @milaeth @msliz @lifesuckslife @ellamae021 @1-800-simpingcowbaby @trashcanrat @ccallistata @shouq @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @georgeparisole

AS ALWAYS. COMMENT TO GET TAGGED.

[selineram3421]

🚧Under construction🚧

Paparazzi🕸

Prologue

Romantic: Angel Dust X Reader

From: Paparazzi Headcanons

Warning! ⚠

⚠ implied/suggestive, paparazzi being creeps, reporters, social media stalking/harassment, Valentino being a bitch, outraged fans, blood, descriptive injuries, murder spree ⚠

~

"Hey!", you greet your boyfriend, sprinting over with a grin. "How was your day?"

"Same old shit. I stole some guy's wallet though!", he says and lifts it up, pulling you close with one of his lower arms and walking.

"Anything good in there?", you ask and walk with him.

"Kinda? I mean, there was a condom and two hundred bucks.", the spider demon shrugs and puts the wallet away.

Angel Dust.

One of Hell's most famous porn stars and your boyfriend.

You've been with him for a good while now. Meeting his friend Cherri Bomb and also participating in whatever the two got into sometimes. Dating was a blast, but you had to keep it on the down-low. With him being a star came paparazzi, and he didn't want you mixed up in that mess.

"What do you wanna do tonight? Wanna watch Hellflix and chill?", Angel asks you.

"That sounds good, let's do it.", you agree and take out your hellphone. "Want take-out? I'll order something."

"Hell yeah! Can we get burritos?", he says and leans over to look at your phone.

"Sure Fluff-ti.", you say and scroll to look for your favorite burrito place.

What you two didn't notice was the demon following you since Angel got out of the club.

.

Currently you both were "watching" a movie. Hours had passed since dinner and now it was just some time for the two of you, Fat Nuggets was asleep.

"Damn it Angel, you're too pretty for Hell.", you say in between kisses.

"Shouldn't I be doin' the sweet talkin'?", Angel asks, holding you closer.

Then there's an odd sound, making you pause.

"What was that?", you ask and look around.

"Probably the movie.", he says, pulling you for more.

There's another noise, like metal and you sit up, finding a light coming from the front door.

"What the hell? Why is the mail slot open?", you say and squint to figure out why.

A second later you jump up and cover yourself with a robe before rushing over to the door. Pulling it open, you Sparta kick a demon in a face and their back hits the wall across.

"Fuck off you creep!", you yell.

"Ack! You piece of shit! You broke my nose!", the demon cries out, holding their bleeding nose.

"I'll break more than that if you don't leave.", you threaten.

"No you would-", they start.

"One.", you start counting down. "Two.."

The demon scrambles getting up and runs down the alleyway.

"You ok hun?", Angel says from behind you, wrapping his arms around your neck and waist.

"I'm fine, but someone was looking through the mail slot.", you say and both of you head back inside, closing the door.

"I can't keep count how many times that's happened.", he says with a scoff and a roll of his eyes.

You make sure its locked and hug the spider demon, burying your face in his fluffy chest.

"Sounds like a nightmare.", your voice is muffled.

"Let's go back to bed.", he says with a certain tone.

Movie had finished a while ago.

🕸

You know that invisible pressure you get when being watched? That feeling like someone is just around the corner or in the shadows?

Yeah, that's been going on for two weeks now.

Angel thought you meant the usual stares he got from others but then there were demons sitting in cars for hours across the apartment.

Feeling a hint of paranoia, you wrote down all the license plates of the cars that stayed a little too long or any that seemed to follow you when outside.

Eventually you start having a panic attack, working on autopilot when packing an emergency bag.

Angel finds you pacing.

"Hey, whoa! Calm down babe.", he stops you with a hug and rubs your back. "You're ok, you're ok.", he whispers.

"Three cars followed me today. They were recording.", you tell him, hands clutched onto his top. "I don't wanna go through that again. Not again-", you mutter, remembering being in a similar situation when you were alive.

"Shh, shh..", he holds you tighter. "Its ok."

He makes a call to Cherri to help out get rid of them.

But its too late as all hell breaks loose when an article with pictures of you and Angel comes out.

~

Listening to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.

~Seline, the person.

Part 1

Taglist@

@ducky-died-inside @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb

ML for Angel Dust🕸

[creedslove]

Hey bestie it's Dark!Dave Anon... I know requests are closed, so please don't feel rushed or anything, only sending this to you so I don't forget the scenario lol 😭... but wondering if u could make a story out of this when u have the time, no pressure. Love your work 🫶

Dave York x Fem Reader

*You are an investigative journalist, covering a spate of murders that you believe to be connected.

*Dave is sent to kill you and members of your team before you can connect the dots and uncover the truth

*Dave has been watching you for a while learning your routine, etc, but when he goes to kill you, he can't. You're looking up him with tears in your eyes as you cower in a closet. He can't pull the trigger.

*Dave can't kill you, but he can't let you go either. You are supposed to be dead.

*As mentioned in the movie, Dave has a cabin that he usually takes his wife and daughters to.

* He tells his crew he has killed you but hasn't and takes you to the cabin.

*You hate him at first obviously because he was sent to kill you but after some time you warm up to him.

*Things slowly start to get heated, and you sleep together.

*Dave's crew becomes suspicious with him being away often (as he is visiting you at the cabin)

*They try to kill you, but he protects you somehow.

I don't know this just keeps playing on repeat in my head, but I don't know how to write stories 🤷‍♀️

Dave York x f!reader

A/N: I love this baby! I'm such a whore for Dave 🤤

• Dave had always taken such pride in being a top notch assassin, his work was clean and flawless, so the moment he was warned by the intelligence of his agency that a certain nosey journalist had been investigating the death of several former members of the government he thought he was so going to combust into flames out of anger

• the first thing he did was to get all the information he could have on you, and that was a lot: your documents, academic, criminal and even your medical records. He also found all your social media, family and friends as he studied a way to approach you without dragging even more attention to the matter

• he kept a long while staring at your pictures, he couldn't lie to himself: you were pretty, but you were also a job, more than that, you were a dangerous target that needed to be put down immediately

• so he designed all his plans to end you: he wouldn't even bother pretending it was an assault or a robbery gone wrong, it would be a straight up plain message: don't mess up with the wrong people

• so for a few days, while you worked on your report, Dave watched you, closer than you thought, it was almost a stalker behavior, it would be so unnerving if you had even realized it, and not only that, Dave had demanded to take care of you himself, so no one would get closer to his little prey but him

• one late afternoon you finally got home, you were loaded with work, you had to do the laundry and cook yourself dinner, and yet, you could just feel something was wrong, the air was chill and eerie and a gut feeling told you you were being watched

• as you walked slowly through your home, being careful and trying to figure out what was wrong, you were followed by Dave, who had dressed in his classic assassin attire: black clothes, gloves and his gun with a silencer in it

• he kinda enjoyed your home, your stuff and your perfumed that lingered all over and he chuckled to himself to think that perhaps if you both had met under different circumstances, he would like to go out on a date or something

• but unfortunately, that was so far away from what he was about to do, so all he could do was to get down to business, he watched you and the moment you cornered yourself in your room, he got into action: one hand over your mouth and another around your waist, making sure you couldn't break free from his grip

• you even tried fighting at first, but it was useless as the man you were sure it was that Dave York guy you'd been investigating and the calm he had while acting around you was the most unnerving part of it at all

"be quiet, be a little mouse for me and shut up while I make this really quick for you"

• Dave whispered into your ear as you felt the cold metal of his gun pressed against your temple, all he had to do was to pull the trigger and make sure his problem was wiped off the face of the earth

• but instead, he looked at your reflection in the mirror, he looked at your scared eyes, the sweat forming under his touch and how humanly close your bodies were and even if he shouldn't be thinking of that, it felt good, wrong, but also good, so he had an idea

"you're gonna be quiet for me, get it?"

• he saw you nodding and demanded you pack a bag for a couple of days, and before Dave could see, you were both heading to his fishing cabin, that was the easiest solution he could find not to kill you right there

• and you didn't get it at first, but you had no option, and weirdly, it wasn't so bad at all

• his cabin was pretty decent and he wasn't a creep to be around, and you wanted to curse yourself for finding him oddly handsome now you were so close to him

"don't start thinking I'll pull out some stockholm syndrome shit and defend you, Dave. I know who you are and what you do"

• you shouted at him the day the frustration got the best of you but he just shrugged and minded his business

• he'd told his team he'd finished you and decided to take some days off, which they all accepted, although he didn't know exactly what to do with you, his soft spot for you became bigger and bigger

• and you didn't want to admit, but you were also enjoying Dave's company a little bit too much, so it didn't surprise either of you when the physical attraction was stronger than anything and you had sex for the first time

• swearing it was going to be last time, you and him got into the habit of sleeping together, each night becoming better and better

• and suddenly Dave realized he had gotten himself into a mess; he didn't know what to do, and neither did you

• but you would enjoy your days together for as long as it was possible

• now you didn't fear him and he also didn't want to kill you, in fact, he wanted to keep you all to himself, which you weren't so opposite to it after all

____

[hiroshotreplica]

also can u infodump about ur agents

hi i will but its kind of a lot. Putting a break on this cause its long

Alister's a chill but still serious guy. He used to play turf war and ranked a ton as a kid while also working as agent 3 for the new squidbeak splatoon. His parents are missing. Cuttlefish took care of him cause of that, kinda treated him like a grandson. He almost outranked callie and marie in terms of skill before he was partially sanitized. He's a bit bad at taking care of himself. The only medication he's willing to take is his antidepressants. He loves the squid sisters and has so much merch of them, mainly from his youth. He has no fashion sense and will walk out of the house in the worst outfit you've ever seen thinking he did ok. He renamed the nss to neo squidbeak splatoon when he was promoted to captain. He loves his boyfriend josh a lot, ignore the fact they tried to kill each other in their first encounter. They live together.

Zara is cheerful and seemingly confident. But she thinks of herself as a fraud and is worried about people finding that out. She's good at her job as agent 4 and more but she focuses on her mistakes a lot. She is really good at building and using computers and the like. Her laptop is enhanced by octarian technology, she has reverse-engineered it. She prefers making friends more than splatting enemies, but knows when she needs to stop being friendly. She used to have a celebrity crush on Pearl and Marina when she was young. It didn't stick but she still loves the two. She has worked with them and still does as a social media manager. She is a lot less involved in agent work than she was as a kid due to her job + being with her girlfriend but she still loves it.

Josh is really mysterious, but still very talkative and nice. He has a lot of repressed memories. He's glad he can't remember some of them. He used to be a trainee in the octarian military. The calamari inkantation changed his life. He used to be a lot more daring and reckless, but he'll never remember. He's agent 8 of the new squidbeak splatoon. Something's wrong with him, but he's okay. He has a special interest (inkling culture) that he studies a lot. He isn't the best at socializing sometimes. He's loved alister since the two were stuck in the deepsea metro. He likes wearing most clothing, except for things that are tight. He loves loose, baggy sweaters. It took him awhile to do agent work, but he's good at it. He still can't play turf war matches with pink and teal as the ink colors without feeling dread. Ink bombs scare him a little.

Orion is a bit of a loner. He was recruited as agent 7, by his own request mainly. He's an old friend of josh, though josh doesn't remember that much, and josh seems like a completely different person. He worked in the octarian military until the domes stabilized. He mainly did it for his family, who he still visits often, no matter how awful travelling conditions are. He values connections the most despite insisting on going on missions alone often. He has a bit of an ego due to his experience. It won't ever hurt him though. He wants to train the new agents, though they're hard to work with. He doesn't mind.

Violet is the most energetic of the group. They feel a lot of pressure being neo agent 3, they have a feeling captain alister did a lot as agent 3, from what they've heard. They were an orphan that learned to survive in the wilderness with their best friend, scope. They got help from another soon-to-be close friend, too, and want to repay them by secretly letting them explore alterna (that will definitely go well). They love alterna. They hate the fuzzy ooze. Theyve been partially infected by the fuzzy ooze, though this doesnt show too much. Mr. grizz considered them partially mammalian when the two first met. They hated that. They want to be a pro splatterscope player when theyre older. They love the z+f one in particular. They do aim drills with their friends. They love their friends dearly.

Scope is quite rowdy but still well meaning. He had gotten lost from his family while on a salmon run, and violet had found him. He couldn't have asked for a better friend. He doesn't know his original name, he feels bad about it, he wants to learn about his culture. He's agent 5 for the neo squidbeak splatoon. He helps out violet on missions. He was apart of a family of stingers, and strives to be one himself. He really wants to work with violet as snipers some day.

I have an agent 6 in the works, but ill talk about them later

[trenchcoatsbi]

Racer IS my guy fr!!! He's my silly idiot who can't say the word 'oyster' ans I love him so so so much!!!!

I'm hoping and praying that one day I'll at least meet a Racer. If nothing else then I want somebody simluar to my friend to torment /silly

like all my other friends I wouldn't torment. besides maybe Hels. but he was basically my nephew so- However the shared love laungagw of the newsises was a) violence and b) physical contact. I need to make a friend I can just drop by for the sole reason of starting shit. Please its good for my health-

Uh anyways. I will not be over Racer for a while :D

Hope you're doing good Phil! I'll probably send in another ask at some point, just to share a project i'm planning in Minecraft, but until then I wanna hear how you're doing :D - Voidling Anon

haha yeah I get that! My mumbo lives walking distance from me (or uh they live walkin distance from my house they're further away rn cause we go to different colleges) and I did not do it often, but being able to just go over and text them like "hey bro let me into your house rn" so i could go be annoying was so nice sajkfhl rahggh i almost miss them now (no one tell my friends but like god i love them so much...)

anyway i've been chilling? not chilling but I've been getting into some other media because i've decided I don't want to just be the mcyt guy in my friend group. Unfortunately in doing that I've somehow ended up being the vtuber guy & the one crying about video characters every other day (IN MY DEFENSE IN STARS AND TIME IS SO GOOD THAT I CAN'T HELP IT) but ehhh they'll get used to my new rants eventually.

uhhh most of what I do now is just like school work, hanging out with my roommate. and trying to work up the courage to make friends with my second roommate. She's cool and we like vibe but she's like really cool and responsible and I'm honestly just slacking in comparison to her so I just try and stay outta her way haha... So yeah it's mostly just like hanging around the dorm room or going on walks for me! I've also been watching anime with the roommate i'm buddy-buddy with already! wasn't much into anime or manga before but all my friends are slowly dragging me into it with them finally lmao

Other than that uhmmm I've been working on art for my art blog again recently! kinda lost motivation to do that when I was mainly doing requests, but we're so back babey! I posted there for the first time in like a month so that's nice :]! I'm trying to figure out what I'm doin over there cause tbh uhhh idk I'm just between a lot of things rn and I don't know if I want to keep the blog like it's been or if I wanna change things up.

idk I'm just goin with the flow for now but i do have work to do too yknow? i've bumbled my way into being the serious business guy (geez im so many guys... i wear so many hats) in most friend/social groups I'm in so even though I'm a massive goober who's usually goofing around I'm the one who deals with serious stuff and uh I can't take a break from that ever sooo... it's like vibing with a side of having to but on my business man pants every now and then to keep things functional haha

[hyperfixated-homo]

Just wanted to check in on you, you haven't posted or rbed anything in a bit, and I just want to make sure that you're okay. I mean, if you're taking a break from tumblr then of course you're fine, and you're not obligated to post, but I wanted to make sure you're okay the best I can just in case.

Hi! I'm using this as my official "I'm not dead" post.

I'm doing fine, thank you for checking on me :). It's been a bit weird recently for me in terms of social media, because I still strongly want to talk to all of you guys but also interacting always feels like too much effort for some reason. I simultaneously do not have the energy to care while wanting to be here at every second of the day.

+ the fact that my mom has been forcing a sort of screen detox on the house (not letting us use the screens unless we're working, taking them away at night, etc) I haven't really had the time? And then when I do have time I feel kinda overwhelmed by how much stuff I've missed that I sort of feel like I have to interact with? It's eh.

I'm also going through some mild burnout I think? I always want to be drawing or writing but when I do I feel exhausted. I'll be back on my bs later I'm sure, but for now I'm just going to chill for a bit.

On a more positive note, I've been much more active irl. Had a celebration recently (not naming anything specific bc it's kinda personal) that was really fun. I'm starting my school stuff, which is taking a lot of my time. Oh and I've been sort of hyperfixating on lord of the rings, so basically I do not have time for any other thoughts.

I may interact with some stuff every now and then, liking and sharing stuff on insta and rbing a cool post every now and then, but I won't be as active for a bit. I'll do more later, probably. It sucks bc I just made a whole ton of friends here and then immediately do not have the energy to talk to them, but I hope you guys understand <3

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

The Limitless Podcast Transcript [S2E10]

TW: None. Notes: That's a wrap! Word Count: 2.0K

[Previous] [Other Groups Masterlist] | [Without a Trace Masterlist]

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Release Date: August X, 2021 Episode Title: The Beginning of a New Chapter Run Time: 24:56 Minutes

Intro Song: Study Morning - Study + Chill Lofi

Mark: Hello, everyone! And welcome to the tenth and final episode of Season 2 of the Limitless Podcast. Are you all excited?

Johnny: We know, we know, we're going to miss you all too, but we have a lot of stuff planned for season 3!

Mark: That's right! Holy shit, you should see out desks at home, it's a whole mess it's embarrassing but, good news, we already have all of season 3's topics picked out and outlined so it'll be like we never even left.

Johnny: Yup, we're also still working on trying to get season 1 back from the void, but it's taking a lot longer than we thought. Turns out that literally nowhere archives these things so we're a little dejected, but it's okay. A lot of season 3's topics are callbacks to season 1.

Mark: Yeah, it's mostly because nearly all the topics we covered have since been updated, and that's kinda true for this season too.

Johnny: Oh, hell, I didn't even think of it that way, you're right, Mark. The news segment of this episode is going to run by pretty quickly.

Mark: Alright! News segment speed run! First of all we are seeing a mass of reemergence of vigilantes all over the place, not just in our country! It seems that the new team-up of vigilantes has inspired both new and old names to join the fray once again. Just yesterday we saw Phantom return to London to stop what would have been the biggest museum heist in history!

Johnny: Yeah, but then he took the gem the original thieves wanted.

Mark: He literally outdid the doers! Like, at that rate I would've just let him take it too, not gonna lie.

Johnny: Nah, you're right, Phantom's "anti" heist was just so well done that so many people applauded it.

Mark: For real, it was trending on TikTok for a while and you know what? Deserved. It was so cool to hear him break it down.

Johnny: Speaking of TikTok, actually, it's kind of interesting how this new wave of vigilantism has really pushed some people into the social media stage. Like Radiohead, for example, has started using Instagram a lot more.

Mark: Do you think it's like a debate, though? Like the vigilantes who only do good deeds on camera versus the ones who have no social media presence?

Johnny: Oh, definitely. I'm sure that there's probably some tension among old versus new vigilantes too, or at least I wouldn't be surprised if there was.

Mark: I can see the whole 'Golden Age' before the ban and 'Silver Age' post-ban arguments too, I've already seen a couple on Twitter and some of the arguments get so heated.

Johnny: The whole fanbase surrounding certain vigilantes is interesting in and of itself, I don't really want to call it a cult following, but it's interesting how certain vigilantes become these icons.

Mark: I mean, iconism of anything is kinda... dangerous, right?

Johnny: Always. But in cases where it's done right, see Aegis, they can become certain symbols of hope that people look to.

Mark: Not to play that card, but Aegis had a pretty hard fall from grace too when they became the Blackguard.

Johnny: But that is a topic we delve into more in season 3! You all better pull up to that, I think I'd go crazy if I saw the new season having the same ratings as this one.

Mark: Dude I'm just going crazy period, I never would have expected this podcast to blow up at all but here we are, corrected.

Johnny: Absolute insanity. We are so grateful for you guys that I don't even know where to start!

Mark: Ditto, I know you all were expecting some crazy topic about vigilantes that we delve into but really this episode is for all of you! If you remember our Twitter post after last episode, we asked you all to send in your most pressing questions and we picked a couple to answer.

Johnny: Yes, yes, and real quick we are definitely going to talk vigilantes! We haven't forgotten our roots! But this is a celebration episode for all of us and especially for all of you! And with that said... Drum roll please, Mark!

Mark: [Drums on the table TN: Please excuse the feedback] This is gonna be good.

Johnny: A word from our sponsors: Us! Our patreon is booming and I cannot thank you all enough! For those watching the livestream, you've probably noticed the new equipment on our tables here in addition to the huge bump in quality of the video feed. Thanks to all of your generous support we are finally able to support ourselves and this podcast! We will keep delivering you all the quality you deserve and we hope that you continue to support us in the future! So, with that, onto the special episode of the Limitless Podcast!

Shotaro: I think that's my cue to step in! You two ready for the first question?

Johnny: Hit us, Taro.

Shotaro: Okay! From user LandBeforetheTimes this is a question for both of you: Which episode from season 2 is your favorite and why?

Johnny: For me it was definitely the episode on Cypher and Cheshire, I've always been a huge fan of Cypher since the day they started being active and I'm still following their work.

Mark: Wait, wait, would you argue that Cypher spearheaded the vigilantes on social media movement?

Johnny: Ugh, the audacity! Cypher didn't just spearhead it, they perfected it.

Shotaro: Actually, if I may step in-

Johnny: You may.

Mark: Shoot.

Shotaro: I think I'd argue that Cypher isn't on social media at all. Sure, they hijack social media, they've even hijacked this podcast before-

Johnny: I think I cried tears of joy that day-

Mark: You did, there are clips of it floating around.

Shotaro: But Cypher isn't following the usual MO of social media vigilantes. They don't "consistently" upload, for one, and for two Cypher has never revealed even a silhouette of who they are. There's absolutely no presence that they even exist.

Johnny: The perfect status for a hacker, in my opinion.

Shotaro: Exactly. But what about you Mark, favorite episode?

Mark: Oh, the Aces! I've always been a huge fan of them since they were an underdog team.

Johnny: Damn, that's right! I completely forgot they weren't that big when they started.

Mark: Yeah, they were easily outshone by the other already existing groups. I think it was their showdown with Alis that really solidified them on the playing field.

Johnny: Or should you say... playing table? [Laughs]

Mark: Oh, ha ha, very funny, I see what you did there.

Johnny: Wait but how did you feel about them disbanding? Just curious, I don't think we ever talked about it.

Mark: Heartbroken, obviously. But to be exact about it they never really disbanded, they kind of just... uh... fell apart, I guess. After what happened to Hearts and Diamonds I get why though.

Johnny: I think that was really one of the first actual "tragedies" that happened to vigilantes, I think things got a little more real after Diamonds passed away.

Mark: Yeah, exactly. A lot of vigilantes I think dropped out of the business once the details got released. I know Zero, Superhuman, and Sogdo for sure announced that they were done.

Johnny: Whoa, I haven't heard those names in a while! Actually, on the topic of Superhuman and Sogdo, I know next season we're going to talk a lot about vigilantes like them.

Mark: Oh yeah! Honestly, I know I shouldn't say it but it's kind of cool how certain people will take what would have been an unfortunate accident and turned it into a way to help out those in need.

Johnny: That's what I was thinking. The sudden emergence of vigilantes with, like, actual "superpowers" is another growing movement that I heard is pretty loaded in online communities.

Mark: Right, the whole "who does it better" argument, I feel like that's never going to go away though.

Johnny: Very true, but, let's try to get more questions in for today's episode. Shotaro, fire away!

Shotaro: Yessir! So up next is from Twitter user TheGrimDoggo! They ask: "If you could interview any of the season 2 vigilantes without any consequence, who would it be and why?"

Mark: Easy! I would... wait, actually? Let me think about that.

Johnny: I thought you said you liked the Aces!

Mark: I do! I do, but you know what they say, "Never meet your heroes."

Johnny: I mean from what I heard if you're innocent the Aces were very careful around you

Mark: Yeah, but then you hear about what happened to the people they beat the shit out of and you're like "damn."

Johnny: Damn? Damn? [Laughs]

Shotaro: [Also Laughing]

Mark: What? [Laughs]

Johnny: Dude, haven't you seen that one documentary about people who were beaten up by vigilantes? The dude who Diamonds punched has a permanently shifted jaw, that's like... horrible.

Mark: Oh... damn.

Johnny: [Laughing] Dude!

Mark: Sorry, sorry, that was insensitive I know, let's just do the last question, yeah?

Johnny: Last...? Oh, shit, we've been going on for a while now, huh? Okay, Taro, hit us!

Shotaro: Sure, so this last one is from the Twitter user GlitchedMask and says "hi! i've been a huge fan of the LP since it was still just a Twitter account! anyway for my question, hypothetically, if you could get it back, where would you like to have season 1?"

Mark: Whoa, they're like a super OG fan of ours then!

Johnny: For those of you who don't know, for the longest time the Limitless Podcast was actually just a blog on Twitter, and back then we were just called 'Limitless.'

Mark: Yeah, even the first episode of the podcast was supposed to be just that. One of the vigilantes we wanted to cover had so much going on with them that we found it easier to just, like, talk about it.

Johnny: Exactly. And then it kind of stuck, a lot of our followers loved the idea so we kept doing it and, badaboom badabang, the Limitless Podcast was born!

Mark: And we are so glad you all love it! But to answer the question, obviously, we'd like to have it on all our platforms, ya know? Patreon, Spotify, Podcasts, and etc.

Johnny: Yup, it would be nice to have it back, but we know it's been, like, permanently removed. That's on us though for not backing up our data.

Mark: Still sucks, though.

Johnny: Oh, yeah, it sucks ass.

Mark: All good though! But, for now at least, that's all the time we have today! As always, thank you all for listening or watching, we will always appreciate your viewership and support.

Johnny: And just to go through the checklist, subscribe to our Patreon! Follow us on Twitter, check out our Carrd, and- Oh yeah! Buy Crys a kofi! She's back from her bender.

[TN: Drink responsibly, kids.]

Mark: Love her for that.

Johnny: We'll see you guys in the next season!

Mark: Until- Why's the monitor doing that?

Johnny: Doing what?

Shotaro: Uh... it's frozen.

Johnny: Huh?! No, nah, don't tell me we have to rerecord.

Shotaro: No, it's just frozen and- Aw man the mics are out too!

[TN: From here on out their mics are shut off so their voices are a little muffled but I'll do my best!]

Johnny: Uh, try troubleshooting real quick, are we still live?

Shotaro: Yes, sir. But the streams frozen for them too. They can hear us though.

Johnny: Got it, not to worry everyone! We'll fix this in a second.

Mark: Hey! The monitor stopped frizzing out, looks like the picture is coming back.

Cypher: [TN: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod] Hello, this is Cypher, I am hijacking this feed from a further area. I love this podcast, so I decided to show my love by recovering Season 1. I will send the file over to both of these lovely hosts and, until then, I cannot wait for season 3. Please talk about me nicely. I'll do the honors of ending the stream for you all.

Outro Song: Easy Cheese - Daniel Fridell

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms @sadcoffeecritic  

Without a Trace: @naiify @sunsethw4 @leesalts @toxic-babexe 

If you want to be added to either tag list or removed just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

[chappell-roans]

Hi Kyra I know you’re on a tumblr break rn but you always answer my asks in a detailed and knowledgeable way and this is a question I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Do you think all celebs crave attention in some ways now with social media even the ones who seem nonchalant about it? Or do you think there are some who are still chill?

Heyyyy. I appreciate that and I mean, if they're celebs who purposely went out to be on screens and put out albums and things, they wanted attention. People don't sing on stages in front of 10k people if they don't crave attention. But as far as social media, I do think there are very different approaches to it that different celebs take. Some are online all the time, some post rarely or infrequently enough that when they do post, it's like an event (take Taylor Swift, or even Timothee Chalamet, though there are others who post less often than they do). I also think that social media has become a legit necessity for most people, especially people newer to the industry. Like, in contracts you're required to post about your movie/song/etc a certain amount of times, and the more followers, the better your chances of getting a role in movies than even someone more qualified. (Sophie Turner has talked about this which........is interesting and kinda funny given her......abilities. I think others have too.) I do think that the attention aspect of it is probably fun too but it's also a sorta career-preservation and brand-building move to stay on top of trends and in people's minds. Then there are people like Denzel (see how I don't need to say his last name and everyone knows who he is? One of the last Movie Stars) who say that people will pay more to see his movies because they don't see him on Instagram everyday. I think it's a necessity for most people unless they were already extremely famous before social media, and even then, while it can hurt, it's often forced.

But yeah I do definitely think attention is party of it the way it is for the rest of us. Editing pics, taking a million for IG, etc. But it's way more than that for them.

[maedaex2combo]

More Than Pale

Chapter One: Drunken Dates and Confessions

Post-retcon / Post-sburb

———————————————————————

Pairings: Dave x Karkat x Reader (GenderNeutral!Reader Human!Reader)

Warnings: Strong language, Alcoholism, Mention of suicide.

Word Count: 21K (jesuschrist) (ishouldhavemademorechapters)

Summary: Dave and Karkat have been your two best friends ever since spending those three years on the meteor together. After living together on Earth C for a while, you have to deal with the aftermath of your two friends ending up in a red romance with each other when you get busy tangled in your career. Feeling left out, and with complicated feelings you never got to express, you turn to confiding in strangers and substances. But maybe you just weren’t made for red relationships.

A/N: Okay so it’s worth mentioning that this story loosely takes place in the post-retcon, post-sburb universe that appears in the Homestuck Epilogues/Homestuck ^2. However, it is not set in either the candy or meat timelines, or involved in anyway with those stories. Just an epilogue that assumingely ends up normal without all the “canon” shenanigans. Also, before you tell me that y/n sounds a little too similar to Jade: I may or may not project to write these stories, and I may or may not also kin a certain Harley dog-girl. We’re all just gonna agree to not mention it. Anyways, I intend on making one or two more chapters to this story! (When I can. I'm about to be super busy!) So this isn’t the end, but I really hope you enjoy!

———————————————————————

Now let’s get into it.

It’s been a few years since your game session of Sburb ended. Your new universe created, and earth brought back into it by Jade, which you all decided to call Earth C. You and your friends have all been chilling on said planet since then, having adventures and shit. Well, most of you anyways.

Once the game ended, you all repopulated Earth C with ecto-bio-tech, jumped ahead several thousand years, and settled down figuring out what to do with your new lives. You and your two best friends/morails Dave and Karkat decided to live in a big house together, somewhere in the middle of the Troll Kingdom. Despite having crazy amounts of god-money to get your own places, the three of you found comfort in living with each other. The three years you spent together on the meteor really bonded you, and you all often felt odd being apart for long periods of time. Kinda like separation anxiety?

That’s not to say you can’t ever not be around them. In fact sometimes you need a break every now and then. You had loved to take trips with Jake and Jade in the first couple years of arriving, exploring, traveling the planet. Those two were always a riot, in different ways, good ways.

However, those trips were usually pretty short. And lately you had been keeping yourself fairly busy ever since you decided to start making music. Earth C was kinda lacking in pop culture before you all showed up. You had always loved writing music, so your friends had convinced you to produce it. Of course because you were already so well known, being a god and one of the “overseers” of the Troll Kingdom, you got pretty big pretty fast.

It’s all been kinda overwhelming, if you’re being honest. You’ve barely had the motivation to write anything new lately from burnout. This wouldn’t be a problem, if it hadn’t been almost six months now since you went on tour, or really were active at all with your career. The tour took a lot out of you, you think. People were begging you on social media for new music, new media, or at least some updates. But what were you doing?

Fuckin. Chillin.

Like a god damn villain.

And by that I meant “fucking chilling”, not fucking and chilling individually… just to be clear.

…

So that brings us to the present, taking place in the dark and cozy living room of your house. It’s still daytime, but there’s no sign of sunlight anywhere. Despite the million windows, they’re all draped with dark curtains, allowing for no glimpse of the outside world. Here you are currently lounging with Dave and Karkat on the couch, playing the same video game you’ve been playing for hours.

“DAMNIT!” You and Karkat both yell in unison, as Dave takes yet another W against you both. Karkat throws his controller down in frustration. You swing your head back, groaning.

“Sorry guys. I'm trying to lose, I swear.” Dave says, with the biggest shit-eating grin he has every time he wins that tells you to not trust this mans words in the slightest. This man is a god at video games for some reason. Might as well be Knight of Smash. (Actually, no, that sounds weird.) But it’s probably cause he’s had years to do literally nothing but practice. Him and Karkat really don’t get out much. Staying in doing nothing was just their thing, and it used to be yours too.

“Oh shut the fuck up Strider.” Karkat growls, throwing himself back into the couch.

“Yeah, you only keep winning because you’re never NOT playing this game.” You say as you lift your head back up.

“Hey, you're the one that wanted to play this anyways. You totally subjected yourself to this losing streak.” Dave retorts.

You cross your arms. “…It’s a fun game…”

“Not when you're fucking around with this asshole." Karkat adds bitterly.

“Hey. I’m loads of fun to fuck around with. I fuck around like nobody's goddamn business.” Dave shoots back.

You have to hold in your giggle at that suggestive phrase, immature as you always are, but you do an awful job. They both turn to look at you.

“And whats so funny, huh?” Dave raises an eyebrow at you, but you're pretty sure he knows already.

You give him a teasing look, poking your tongue out a little.

"Go ahead, say it." He enables you, and he's wearing an amused smile now, so you know he knows.

“Well, I don’t know.. I just feel like Karkat would know better than anyone. What ‘fucking around’ with you is like..” You say and wiggle your eye brows comedically. The boys both blush slightly, to your amusement. The embarrassment shows more on Karkats face than Dave’s though, of course. Although it looks more like embarrassed-anger.

“[Y/N]!!” Karkat shouts at you, leaning forward to glare your way from across Dave.

Dave turns to look at him and touch his hand, startling him in his already flustered state. "It's okay babe. I got this." He says dramatically and ignores Karkats protests to the pet name. He turns to look at you again and theres a silence as he stares you down very seriously (of course) and you wait expectingly.

"Not cool." He finally says, and gives you the signature Strider-look-of-disapproval (FAKE). This pulls a laugh out of you and you see Karkat throw himself back against the couch again in annoyance.

“Hey, you said go ahead!" You retort pointing an accusing finger at Dave, only to be nonchalantly waved off as if to say 'eh that's not relevant.'.

"Alriiiight, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I can’t resist. I just still can’t believe you two got together while I was gone.” You turn your body slightly, so you’re looking at the two of them, legs in criss-cross. “Plus, in my defense, it’s been like more than six months and you guys are still so embarrassed to talk about it.”

“Speak for this guy.” Dave says throwing his thumb in Karkat's direction.

“I do not get 'embarrassed' about it!!" He retorts, air-quoting the word while still being stuffed into the corner of the couch very grumpily.

You both raise an eyebrow at him. He groans and slumps further back, if that was even possible, not bothering with another retort.

Dave swings back around to face you again. “And I still can’t believe that you still can’t believe it for the same reason. Get with the program bro.” He says, crossing his arms all sassy-like.

“I know, I know. It’s old news. But y'know you guys went and made me the third wheel, so I think I earn the right to tease you. Oh my god remember that time I came into the kitchen to get a midnight snack and found you guys su-“

“UGHHHHH.” Karkat’s loud groan begs for you to stop. He really especially hates to talk about it in detail for some reason. It’s honestly a miracle these two even got together with no help. They still never told you how it happened.

Dave looks over at him, sympathetic under his glasses, but of course you wouldn’t notice that. Cool guy shades double as a vulnerability shield. Most times. You do, however, notice them subtly holding hands. You wonder how long they’ve been doing that. It’s so… So cute. Your heart hurts. Your head hurts. But you’re gonna ignore it. Like clockwork.

“OKAY, okay. I’ll lay off.” The two of them seem to physically relax a little at this, though you didn't even notice Dave being tense before.

“For now…” You add to finish your sentence ominously and then stand up off the couch, making your way over to the hallway.

“Where you going? I thought we were all gonna smash some more.” Dave calls out to you.

You turn around in the doorway of the living room to look at him, snorting a little at his joke. Smash jokes never get old. “Oh my bad, did I not tell you guys?”

They’re both looking at you now, confused. Dave shakes his head to give you your answer.

“Oh! Well…” your eyes wonder a little awkwardly “I’ve got a date tonight!”

“Again?” “AGAIN?” They both say in unison. You guys have a habit of doing that with each other lately, it’s kinda creepy.

“Please tell me it’s not the same guy from few days ago.” Dave comments.

“You mean the one that barfed all over our fucking doormat?” Karkat clarifies, Dave turning around to give him a nod of affirmation. 

“Yeah that one. I don’t think I can stand to have to look him in the eyes again if he drops you off. That shit was irredeemable.” Dave responds.

You laugh. That moment was honestly really funny, but that might be biased since you were pretty drunk when you watched it go down. And thus didn’t have to do the clean-up. Whoops.

“Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s a new guy. I met him at the grocery store the other day!” You say, still cheery. 

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Oh joy!! Another shitty date we get the pleasure of hearing an earful about later."

“Hey! He could be interesting!! Don’t judge a book by it's cover, right?” You defend.

“Yeah, but when you get to the twenty-fifth book and it’s still shitty, you think you’d give it a rest for a while. Like maybe think to yourself 'God damn, I'm having some really fuckin’ bad luck today. Maybe I should go home”. Or even god forbid consider that you have standards way too high to be like.. browsing the regular ass town library anyways? Man I don't know, Rose would be better at making a book-related analogy.”

“I do not have high standards!” You say back, considerably offended.

“Debatable.” He responds, crossing his arms again and leaning back into the sofa.

“I don’t get why you guys are so against me dating around. I’m 19, I'm single. I’d say it’s a pretty normal thing for people my age to be doing.” You say, moving over to the kitchen table, which is in the same room as the living room. Kitchen-dining-living room with tall ass ceilings.

"Well, technically, you're not 'single'." Karkat says slowly, making air quotes at the word 'single'. You share a gaze with him for a moment as you understand what he means.

"Okay yeah, by troll standards I guess I have you guys in my.. pale quadrant.. but-" You pause for a second as your mind stutters a bit to connect this into a point. "But, the only troll equivalent to human dating is the red one sooo... technically I am 'single'." You finish, putting the same emphasis on the two words to mock him a bit. You've gotten quite used to troll romance over the years and it seems to have adapted into earth C's culture as well, so even humans participate in the four quadrants sometimes. Still though, you were raised on the o.g. earth, and some quadrant stuff is still hard for humans so a lot still tend to just do red romance. Karkat is your morail, (and Dave too technically, even though that's been kinda screwed a bit with the whole them dating thing because you were all morails with eachother) but that's not exactly 'dating' to you, even if it is a romantic quadrant. 

Whatever. Troll romance is confusing. You're gonna stop thinking about it now.

Karkat just gives a 'whatever' type of shrug. "Debatable." He says, copying Dave. “Anyways. We're not against it. We're just tired of hearing about it all the time." He says, changing the subject, clearly bitter for some reason about the whole thing.

“Dude. Chill.” Dave whispers to him, despite you obviously still able to hear.

“What?! It's true!” Karkat hisses back.

“You suck at whispering.”

“Fuck you!”

"You both suck at whispering, FYI!" You call out to them, making them shut up.

A moment passes and you frown, picking up a green apple from the fruit bowl the other two never touch. “Well if you guys hate hearing about them so much, I can just stop telling you. I didn’t know it actually bothered you like that…” You trail off.

You stare at them, or really the back of their heads, from behind the couch. They’re looking at each other, and it’s silent. They’re sharing a look you can’t quite read. It makes your heart sink. It feels like your relationship with them isn’t as close as it was in the beginning, after you took a huge tour and they got together. Everything just feels off. Maybe that’s why you’re out so much honestly.

“Um. Hey," Dave suddenly speaks up, pulling you out of your thoughts. "Have you been working on your music at all lately?“ He asks, changing the subject.

You’re silent for a second, which makes him turn around to look at you. “Because I read your comment section the other day. You got mads amounts of people begging you for content. When was the last time you posted?”

You stuff the apple you were holding in the front pocket of your hoodie and walk over to the coat hanger where your bag is hanging.

“Does it matter? I only did all this for fun in the first place. If I want a break, I’m entitled to it and I don’t owe it to anyone to have to announce it to the world.” You reply

“Fair enough.” All he has to say to that.

“And anyways, you’re the last person to be asking me this kind of stuff. You both could totally have some kind of online agenda to uphold, being gods and all. But as far as the world knows, you two could be dead!” You say as you take your bag from the hanger and start looking through it for your phone.

“Aw, c'mon we're not that elusive.” Dave says back, swiping his hand in a cliché 'pshhh' hand gesture.

“Oh, you totally are. Your private blog doesn’t count either. I’m pretty sure most people just think you’re roleplaying as the quote-on-quote 'real' Dave Strider.”

“Wait holy shit, seriously??!” He says, suddenly very thrown by this.

“It's true." Karkat adds, joining the conversation now. "I was cussing a dude out about it last week. He kept saying you were 'trying too hard to be like the real D-Stri' whatever the bumbling fuck that means?? The audacity of that shit-eating douchebag to say that to the mans literal fucking matesprit still astounds me. It's one I'd not yet seen on Earth C, but we all saw it coming. And by the way my account is VERIFIED so???” 

“So what'd you call him? A 'shit-eating douchebag'?” You snort with an amused look.

“Yes. Among various other insulting titles.” Karkat responds very nonchalantly.

“Dude, What the hell. Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this??” Dave says, still dumbfounded, now pulling out his phone. He clearly finds this to be fucking awesome and you have no doubt he's going to make it worse somehow and in no way try to clear this up.

“Anyways. Again. [Y/n], doesn't your dating around thing get out to the public? Since you're famous now or something?? I've never seen anyone say anything about it.” Karkat swings his upper body around so he’s facing you as well now.

“Yeah actually. You'd think they'd have something to say about it. I mean we're all technically famous but I'm pretty sure most of your fans would probably literally die for you while kissing on your feet.” Dave comments, still navigating something on his phone.

You roll your eyes. “No, actually. Surprisingly enough, you two are the only ones who care enough to pry. Isn’t that funny?” You quip sarcastically, making an expression of fake-curiosity.

“Well. If you have the 'right' to bother us about dating every fucking chance you get, then I think we have the right to complain about the random asswipes you bring to the hive that inevitably fuck up the porch in some way. Or make dave and I uphold awkward as all hell conversations for way fucking longer than I can stand. Which is maybe, like, ten whole seconds. And thats being generous! “ Karkat argues. 

He makes a good point, you guess.

“Okayyyyyyy. I get it. I’ll stop talking about my dates then, okay?” You sigh, starting to walk towards the hallway again. “And you guys don’t have to wait for me to get home every night anyways. I officially give you permission to not be concerned at all with my personal affairs. Does that make you happy?” The last line comes out a little colder than you meant it to. Too late now, they can probably tell you're upset.

You turn to exit to your room. They frown at each other.

“[Y/N] wait. It's cool, it’s not that. We just… You know we want you to find someone you actually like.”

You stop in the doorway again, the sincerity of his words hitting you a little.

“Do you... Think you actually like this guy this time?” He asks carefully.

You frown. And your heart hurts again. Do they think you’re just dating around to avoid being lonely or something?

…Were you?

You scoff a little, faking offense this time. “Yes, Dave. I actually like all the people I go out with.” You respond with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Well... Then go ahead. Who the fuck are we to judge I guess?” He says back and you clock that there’s a certain tensity in his voice.

“Yeah, and let’s hope you come back sober this time.” Karkat mutters, not looking in your direction. Okay, that hurt. Not feeling very morail... ed by him right now.

Dave hits his shoulder lightly, causing Karkat you shoot him an angry/hurt expression.

“WHAT?! They always come back drunk when the dates bad! I’m just saying I hope it goes well!” He defends.

Dave gives him another look.

“Okay, fuck! Sorry! I’m sure you’ll have a grand fuckin’ time with this guy [Y/n]! Go knock him dead or whatever you wanna say to commemorate it!!”

Dave sighs and looks over at you to give you a thumbs up or something at all to maybe lessen the tensity, but you’re already gone. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them for some reason. You just had to go cool off while you get ready.

“You definitely pissed them off.” Dave tells his boyfriend, pushing off the couch to stretch upwards.

“What?! I was just expressing my feelings about the situation!! Weren't you the one preaching to me a while ago how important communication is or something??” Karkat defends.

“Okay, yes, good point. That's still true." He comments back, turning to point at him and nod. "But I don't really think they wanted all that honesty, or asked for either of our opinions I guess.”

“Oh, whatever! Like you said, you were spewing your equally unwarranted opinions at them too. You don’t get to pin this on me!” Karkat shouts.

“Yeah, but I think my concern was slightly ironic and doused in smart-assery. Like most things I say. They could definitely tell you were actually bothered, though.” Dave says, shifting the blame off him.

There's no response.

A beat of silence sits between them. Dave immediately feels a little guilty for pinning it on him, though he was mostly kidding.

“Hey I'm sorry. It's fine dude.” He sits back down and takes Karkats hand in his hand, for real this time, not half-assed and trying to hide. He doesn’t have to take his shades off for Karkat to know he’s making genuine eye contact behind them. “Let's just try to apologize to them when they come back in, yeah?.”

Karkat blushes slightly, reluctantly pouting at his boyfriend. “…Yeah. Okay.” He says weakly, and that's that on that.

One hour later and you’re finally finished getting ready. You sigh, staring at your reflection in the vanity mirror. Even getting all dressed up to go out, you’re really not looking forward to tonight at all. You can’t tell if it’s because of what those two said earlier, or something else…

Honestly sometimes it seems like you’re only excited to go on dates just to get out of the house. Although you never disliked staying inside this much. You were almost as much of a shut-in as these two were before you started your career. You guess it’s just yet another thing caused by your two best friends getting into a relationship without telling you, until AFTER you get back from a very long trip. (Except they didn’t even tell you, you had to find out.) And then proceeding to spend more time with each other than with you.

But... Of course! That makes sense.. they need their alone time together now. That's understandable and something you can respect. But you can’t just be alone in your room, it physically hurts to feel that loneliness. The one that finds you every time you get a moment by yourself. The one you’re pushing back right now as you sit in your room getting ready to go out (with someone you’re probably not all that interested in if you’re being honest), while your two morails spend time together downstairs.

Speaking of morails, your mind starts to wonder as you consider how different your relationship is with those two now. I mean it was obvious, it has been effecting you, but now you're trying to pinpoint when it might've started. Things were fine for a little while after you found out they were dating, but then you guess you started to feel more distant with all the lost time and them sharing a different quadrant without you. Not to mention the confusion with Dave no longer being Karkats morail but still being yours along with Karkat? Technically you guys were like breaking some rule by being poly in that quadrant, since apparently there's not really any history of trolls doing that. Not that any of you really gave a shit about that, it worked so thats how it happened. But now it's all messed up.

Hm. It just occurred to you that you might’ve been made the auspistice between them. Is that how that works? No, that’s a black romance thing, you think. Maybe you’ll ask Karkat sometime.

… Or maybe more preferably Kanaya.

AH SHIT you're thinking about troll romance again. Though you suppose you can't avoid it now.

You guess you could also always go hang out with your Sburb friends. You do sometimes, but you have this desire to meet new people lately. There’s so many people on Earth C now! It’s made you curious to what type of individuals this society created. But you suppose it has been a while since you’ve seen some of your old friends. You set a reminder in your phone to hang out with the Lalonde’s soon.

When you finally step back into the kitchen, Karkat is setting things up on the stove, and Dave is looking in the freezer. You’re a bit surprised. You guys only ever cook like once a week, and you take turns like it’s a chore. Most meals/snacks are alchemized, but you try to keep at least a little balance. There’s no way alchemized food could be all that healthy to eat all the time.

You’re walking over to the coat rack next to the table when the two of them finally notice you. They both turn to look at you, but don’t say anything. When you look back over at them, you blush a little at the unnoticed attention. Why are they staring?

You suppose you're all dolled up or whatever, but it's not like they've never seen you like this. You unreasonably fear maybe you have something on your face and somehow didn't notice.

“What... Do I look weird?” You say, kinda awkwardly, fixing a piece of hair that'd fallen in front of your face.

“What? No.” Dave responds, kinda thrown for a split second by your question. "You look... Good."

"Oh. Thanks." You say in a tone that probably could've stood to be less tense and more appreciative.

Dave nods and turns back to the fridge with a totally-not-uncomfortable cough. Then he looks over to Karkat, who finally breaks looking at you to meet his gaze. You feel weird. This is weird.

“[Y/n].” Karkat calls to you, breaking the strange silence.

“Y-yeah?” You respond, unfortunately stumbling the word a bit.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. You should be able to date whoever the hell you want to without getting shit from two dumbasses about it.”

“But mostly one in particular.” Dave adds quickly, clearly getting amusement from the look Karkat shoots him after.

“Oh! It’s alright. I didn’t take it to heart.” You say a little weakly. Lies.

“And anyways I guess I’m not in a place to talk. Considering my sad excuse for a matesprit here.” He says, clearly just to get back at Dave for his previous comment.

“Wait, what??” Dave whips his head around to look at Karkat in offense. 

“I’m kidding!! Don’t wet yourself like a human baby in a cloth contraption. Whatever the hell you call those man-made abominations.” He says, rolling his eyes and gesturing with his hands a bit.

“…Diapers?” Dave snorts.

“Yeah. Those.” He confirms.

You giggle a little along with Dave at this, then unlocking your phone quickly to check the time and peaking at your reflection when it turns black again. 

“Hmmm…” Dave stares melancholy at Karkat a little much so for his liking.

“...What?!” He asks.

“If you were kidding, then say you love me right now.” Dave demands accusingly, moving back to finally close the freezer thats been open this whole time for no good reason other than so that Dave can use it as an arm rest. Thank god you guys don't pay for electricity.

“WHAT?! NO!” Karkat blurts out quite loudly in alarm.

“You hurt my feelings man. I'm convinced you don’t love me anymore.” Dave states, crossing his arms in a very convincingly-upset manner and leaning against the counter behind him.

“Stay convinced then.” Karkat replies stubbornly, waving him off and crouching down to grab some things from the cupboard below him.

“Woooooow. Okay. What the fuck. Brb I think I'm gonna go have a cinematic cry in the bathroom. You know the kind where you slam the door and slide down it with your head in your hands sobbing.” He says dramatically and starts making his way over. You nod and roll your eyes when he gives you a 'You know what I'm talking about' type of look.

“NO! Stop!!” Karkat shouts to him, turning around and standing with a container of oil in his hand.

“Then say it.” Dave says, looking at him cross-armed again.

“OKAY!!! Fine!" He blurts out and Dave straightens up leans an arm against the counter to wait.

"…I…I..” He struggles, glancing between the two of you before opting for glancing at other things instead. 

You and Dave both stare at him, anticipating, expressionless. This is a lot for him, you can tell. And you're trying not to make a goofy goober joke right now. You wonder if Dave is doing the same in favor of getting something sweet/embarrassing out of his boyfriend.

“I-…… I L..UGHH” He’s starting to turn crazy red, and he can feel it, because he quickly turns his head to look at the opposite wall. “I CANT DO IT WHEN YOU TWO ARE STARING AT ME LIKE IDIOTS!!” He shouts and gestures a hand to said idiots, unsurprisingly being the only two other people in the house.

You decide you’ll spare him the embarrassment today. You’re honestly not in the mood to take their cuteness right now, as selfish as that sounds. “It’s okay, you guys can ‘I love you’ and smooch or whatever all you want when I’m gone. That guy should be here any minute.” You say finally and start to put your coat on. It’s usually a little chilly in the troll kingdom this time of year. Nothing crazy, but still enough to want a second layer.

“Are you guys cooking dinner?” You ask curiously once they both go back to what they were doing.

“Karkat is. It's his week to cook something.” Dave answers your question.

“Awww man, why’d you choose today to do it? I love your cooking, Kar.” You say sadly, pouting a bit. Karkat was pretty bad at cooking when you guys first got here, but you all were honestly. But Karkat is the only one out of all of you that actually improved somehow, despite not doing it often. Now you always look forward to CG-Dinner days.

“You never said you were going out. I already thawed the meat and shit earlier.” Karkat shrugs, not looking at you.

“Damn! I guess I’ll have to cope with leftovers.” You say disappointed.

“Hey it' s not too late. You could always tell that dude that you’re sick or some shit and get a good ol' home cooked troll dinner.” Dave suggests, raising his eyebrows and gesturing to you with a spatula.

You roll your eyes at him, smiling. “Yeah, you wish.”

Then, with perfect timing, your phone dings with a new message notification. The boys glance at you subtly as you check to confirm it’s your date for tonight.

“Speak of the troll! I gotta go.” You say, typing back at your keyboard.

“So the lucky guy is a troll this time.” Dave comments.

“Yeah! A very handsome one too. I’ll see you guys later!” You say with a genuine smile despite your previous worries. You have hope that this will go well even regarding you recent past experiences.

Dave nods and Karkat waves slightly as you rush off into the hallway, then out the front door. They watch you go, staring in your direction even after you’re out the door. It’s uncomfortably quiet for a few minutes after you’re gone.

—————————————————————

Timeskip moment here!

I’m not going to go into the details of the date, because honestly, who cares. Just some random, probably slightly awkward date, with some irrelevant ass troll dude that will never have a name and never be mentioned again in my story.

Okay, that was kinda harsh. I’m sure the troll was a nice gentleman. Maybe. And I guess he’ll be mentioned a few more times. But thats IT.

All you need to know for now, is that it must not have gone well. Because after eating all the breadsticks and waiting what felt like ages for the food to come out, the next thing you remember is…

…Waking up to a POUNDING headache (wow) and…

And someone next to you?

No way…..

Oh wait. It’s two someones. Phew.

Wait, what?

You reluctantly open your eyes, letting in way more light than your body should be allowed with the current conditions. You stare at the ceiling for longer than you normally would, procrastinating having to move your head to look around.

You can already tell that you’re in Daves room right now. He’s got a million of those glow-in-the-dark stars you can stick to your ceilings. You and him put those up the third day of moving in, because Dave had been so excited about finding them at a nearby shop. He called them a ‘hella nostalgic treasure’. Karkat helped too, using a ladder, being the flightless little guy he is. You crack a smile at this sudden memory flooding back to you. If only you could remember what the hell happened last night.

You turn your head slightly to the left to see Karkat fast asleep. He’s facing you, left arm resting on your stomach. He’s also almost in a fetal position? And he’s drooling. How cute. He genuinely looks really peaceful, and you wonder what kind of dreams he might be having right now. It’s impressive how comfortable he’s gotten sleeping in regular beds now, since he used to struggle with it a lot. You're... Really proud him. You can't help, but gaze at him lovingly before you move on.

You turn your head all the way to the right now, and of course, you see Dave. He’s sleeping as well, thankfully. That’d be awkward if he wasn’t. His head is higher above yours, so you have to look up a little to see his face. His shades are off, but of course he’s wearing an eye mask. You still don’t think you’ve seen this dork without his sunglasses in daylight. He looks a little more goofy than peaceful, his mouth wide open and right arm in some weird position above his head. Still cute though. You also notice that his left arm has been loosely around yours.

You look back up at the ceiling, taking a moment to process this scene.

This is…….. Adorable. You wish you weren’t having a crazy hangover right now so maybe you could enjoy it a little more. This isn’t the first time you’ve woken up with these two, but usually its after a movie night together, and you aren't ever in the middle these days. And you guess there isn't even a 'these days' anymore because you realize you can't remember the last time you all slept together

You take note that you’re still in your same get-up you wore to your date. The outfit is also really dirty?? You must have slept not long after getting home. That’s a relief, because then maybe you didn’t get to say anything embarrassing to your two friends that you’ve been having troubling feelings about lately. That sure would be terrible!

Haha.

You should get water. And maybe take an aspirin or something. You also have to pee, like crazy bad for some reason. Feels like leaving the bed is gonna be hard to do without waking up one or both of them, leading to an uncomfortable conversation you’d rather not have yet with a pounding headache.

You manage to slowly pull yourself to sit up, carefully removing Karkats arm off you and escaping Daves light hold on your arm, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You analyze the bed. You could probably crawl out from the opening below Karkats legs since he’s fetal positioning. Yeah, that’s a good plan.

You do so successfully, and quietly make your way down the hall to the bathroom. You grab your phone from the bedside table on your way out.

After getting water, taking an ibuprofen since you guys are out of aspirin, and cleaning up a bit, you pull out your phone to check for any weird texts messages or voicemails you might’ve made last night. Luckily for you, it doesn’t seem like you texted or called anyone. Thank god. Then, suddenly you get a notification from a familiar name.

[4 New Message Notifications:] GC: (y/n)!! have you seen this yet? GC: dhttp://ecww.TKNN.com/y-n-restaurant-breakdown-live/ GC: what happened?? GC: are you okay? :(( im here if you need anything

And another from another friend.

[3 New Message Notifications:] TG: (y/n)!!!!! omg did u see that video?? TG: why would they pos that omg are u alright ??? TG: call me when u see this!! ok? <3 lov u

And another.

[6 New Message Notifications:] GA: Hello, (Y/n). I Am Very Sorry To Bother You, As I’m Sure I’m Not The First Person To Reach Out Today, But I Just Read The Article That Came Out. I’m Not Sure If You’ve Seen It Yet, And I Can Provide To You The Cyberlink If You Would Like To Have A Look. GA: But Anyhow, The Aforementioned News Has Made Both Rose And I Quite Concerned For Your Well-Being. I Am Reaching Out On Both Our Behaves. GA: I’m Aware I’m Probably Not The Most Riveting Of Individuals To Talk Over The Phone With About These Things, But If You Would Like You’re Welcome To Join Us For Dinner Tonight. Or Really Any Day This Week, With The Exception Of Saturday. Just Let One Of Us Know. GA: I Can See In The Short Video Someone Uploaded To Social Media, That You Look Significantly Intoxicated. As You Know, Rose Struggled With This Problem For A Short Period Of Time During Our Trip On The Meteor, And She And I Would Be More Than Willing To Help You In Any Way We Can.

You stop reading. You’re not in the mood to have a Lalonde-Maryam intervention via text right now.

Your heart is racing with anxiety at this sudden vulnerable internet exposure that also doubles as an attack to your person. You don’t even want to click the link. But of course you have to.

When you click the link Jade sent you, you’re taken to the Troll Kingdom National News™️ page. It’s of course an article about you. As you read further into it, you see it’s more specifically about your date last night. Apparently paparazzi had been there in secret to snoop on your date, but instead they ended up catching you freaking out at the poor guy, and then at the waiter, and then storming out. They wrote the article in such a narrative that made it seem like you had just killed everyone at the restaurant’s mother’s collectively and then did a little jig on their dead bodies. The video didn’t make it look any better either. It was only 20 seconds, in which you had just finished yelling about something to your date, throwing your wine in his face, and then proceeded to curse at and flip off the waiter as he came to presumably escort you out. 

Holy shit. You can’t even imagine why you would have an outrage like that if it wasn’t at least somehow warranted. Even being drunk, you’re never really aggressive. If anything you get wicked giggly and stupid, so something must’ve prompted you to get upset.

Nevertheless, this is seriously concerning, and no words can describe how embarrassed you feel right now. You don’t even want to leave the bathroom.

You don’t for a good 20 minutes, and may or may not have cried silently to yourself during that time. Contemplating if maybe the laws of god-death would consider the taking of your own life a Just one, since you basically just violated two men publicly last night. You don’t try it though obviously, you’re not that dramatic.

Eventually though, you manage to get over yourself and head to the kitchen. To your surprise, Dave is already in there, cooking what smells like eggs. Cooking two days in a row… Interesting. Suspicious.

“Morning.” He says to you, without even having to look at you, as he flips something in the pan. It's probably good he doesn't look because you definitely look like hell right now and very clearly had just cried.

“Hey… Yeah.. Good morning.” You say, almost as if hesitating. You’re still so embarrassed about last night and you don’t even know fully what happened.

It’s so. So uncomfortably silent. It’s painful. Instead of continuing to just stand there awkwardly, you walk over to the dinner table and have a seat. The chairs are high, which doesn’t really make any sense because Dave is the tallest person in the house and he’s not even that tall. You curse these chairs everytime you have to get up on them.

“So.” Dave says, breaking the silence, totally nor awkward at all.

“So…” 

“Sooooo hows your head?” He asks, and he's still not looking at you.

“Huh? Oh. Right. It’s fine. Still kinda hurts, but I think the medicine I took is kicking in.” You respond.

“Cool. Thats good.” He says back simply.

“Yeah…”

You look out the window to your left. The curtain is only open right now since Karkat is asleep. You’ll probably close it once he wakes up. But it’s nice having the sunlight beam into the kitchen for once.

“So um…” Dave tries again to cut the silence.

“Hm?” You look over at him again.

“Your uh. Date last night, huh?” He says, ominously. 

“Uhhh…” You’re not sure how to answer, especially because you’re not sure how much he knows, and you clearly don't know anything. “Yeah, yknow… It was… a date.”

“Haha. Yeah.” He says, and wow you're finally noticing how tense and awkward he's being right now. You were too anxious and in your own world before, but... Yeah something's definitely up.

Silence again.

Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous. You and Dave have known each other since you were super young, and have been best friends for several years. There’s no reason to for it to be this uncomfortable. Yet, you can’t think of anything to say. Think harder.

You remember you still don’t know what he’s cooking for.

“What’re you making?” You ask finally.

“Omelettes. You want one, right?” He responds easily, noticeably a little less tense at the subject change.

“Yeah, of course! You know I like-“

“Cheese and jalapeños. I got you.” He says cooly, nodding to you.

“You’re the best.” You smile, feeling a little more relaxed now. “I’m surprised you’re cooking. We like, never cook. Are you picking up a new hobby? Or maybe to compete with Karkat to be the house's new best chef or something?” You joke.

“Nah. i just figured you could use some food in your system after last night. That's not alchemized.” He replies and your smile drops. Oh. He did it for you. Suddenly you feel bad again, even though you should probably be flattered.

“But we should probably start cooking more anyways.” He adds.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You nod.

“I mean it's never been proven that alchemized food is any worse for you, but it's just. Food that appears… out of buttfuck nowhere? Like there's gotta be some kinda catch." He starts flipping the eggs or whatever that motion is when you're finishing up an omelette. You don't know, clearly you're the worst cook of you guys at this point. "Like imagine years from now we're gonna find out that we weren't supposed to eat the stuff we make from alchemizers. And it turns out that eating this shit is giving us some like magical Sburb parasite that'll turn us into zombies or some fucked up Sburb equivalent. Oh shit get ready for earth apocalypse. Part three. Or. Uh...Part four maybe? I cant keep track.”

You laugh, relaxing even more. He makes a good point, although highly exaggerated.

“Yeah, that’s true. Hey, you ever notice that Sburb sounds like sperm? Have we ever mentioned that?”

“Dude. Yes. Who the fuck named that game??” The two of you laugh at this together. You smile seeing the look on his face, even from this angle. "And yeah I'm pretty sure I've talked to someone about that. No way no one's not mentioned it yet. Maybe it was June I was talking too..." He trails off, thinking about this. 

This would actually be a pretty nice morning, had that article not been released. Just thinking about it downs your mood again. You’re gonna have to address it eventually. But you're curious what he already knows. What happened between you throwing a tantrum at that restaurant and waking up in bed with Dave and Karkat? The curiosity is killing you, but you can't possibly bring yourself to ask.

You snap out of your thoughts when Dave approaches you with your breakfast. He sets it down in front of you, and takes a seat beside you with two more plates. This is when he finally looks at you and you catch how his eyebrows raise slightly and then he goes back to a neutral expression. He probably decides it's better not to mention it.

He pulls out his phone to routinely watch his funny videos while he eats. You can’t bring yourself to do the same, you don’t want to even touch your phone at all at this point.

“Should we wake up Karkat?” You ask after a few minutes of eating in silence. Or, silence plus audio from whatever Dave is watching.

“Nah. He's awake, he was just still getting ready. His whole morning routine thing.” He answers.

“Ohh.. okay.”

Just then, you start to hear someone coming down the stairs.

“Speak of the troll.” He says, smiling.

You smile back, at the fact that he reused your term from yesterday. When Karkat enters the room, he’s looking intensely at something on his phone. And he looks very bothered. Actually, bothered would be an understatement. He locks eyes with you when he looks up from the device.

Oh boy.

“[Y/n], I really hope you’ve seen that video that went viral like thirty minutes ago??? The one Jade and Kanaya are both fucking spamming me about?”

Damn those worried friends of yours. Loudmouths, all of them!

“What? What video?” Dave asks, looking up from his phone to join the conversation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You turn away and cross your arms defensively. Dave examines you and can clearly see that you’re lying.

“BULLSHIT. Y'know when you said you told your date off last night, I didn’t think you meant ‘cause a huge scene, ruin his outfit, AND assault a minimum wage worker’ type of telling off!”

Hm. You must have said something to him last night. Karkat should really be the last one crucifying you for your rudeness in the video honestly. He’d probably have done worse at some point if he actually went out regularly. But you know he’s only saying it because it’s unlike you. Which means something’s going on. You wish you could explain, but at this point he probably knows more than you do.

“Okay, fine, yes I’ve seen the video! What about it? I messed up, okay?!” You blurt out, not really thinking about what you're saying.

Dave is still clearly lost.

“Guys. What video? What are we talking about?” He asks again.

“Did jade not send you a link?” Karkat snaps at him, finally answering. Sort of.

“Oh no I haven’t checked my messages. Hold on.” Dave says and you can tell his switching apps now.

“How is it that the first thing you do every morning is check your phone, but you never check your messages?!” Karkat bickers at him, throwing his arms up to his shoulders in bewilderment.

“Got got more important stuff to attend to. Obviously.” Dave responds sarcastically. 

You panic a little. You’re not sure your mental state can take having to watch them watch you have an embarrassing mental break down.

“I just had a little bit of a meltdown at the restaurant last night. I was drunk, okay? I wasn’t in the right headspace... I-” You start.

“Oh yeah we knew that already. But it got posted online?” Dave cuts you off, still trying to find this video.

Okay. Apparently you talked to both of them.

“Yes, but yknow we really don’t have to watch-“ You start, only to get cut off again.

“Oh shit she did send it to me. With like 20 other messages. Jesus.” You’re curious what the messages could be, but you think you’d be okay staying oblivious to be honest. “So did Rose. And Roxy. And Dirk?? but he just sent the link and nothing else. What the hell? He's so weird sometimes.” Dave rambles as he finally checks his messages.

You roll your eyes. “Okay, we get it. Everyone’s talking about it, can you just not-“

Aaand the videos playing. You groan and cover your ears. You’re reconsidering that whole god-death thing right now. This is a nightmare.

The video is short, but it still feels like forever. When it's done playing, Dave stares at the phone for a minute, silent.

“…Wow.”

Then, both Karkat and Dave turn to look at you, and you feel their eyes bore into you before you can even bring yourself to look back at them. When you do, they both have different looks of worry painted on their faces, and you start to get anxious. You look back and forth between them, and you can feel yourself start to sweat. It feels like you’re in the hot seat, about to be grilled. You notice you’ve been bouncing your leg anxiously.

“[Y/n]… Its okay, we can-“ Dave starts, but nope you're not even gonna let him finish that. You know the pity-fest this is about to turn into and you do not want to attend.

“IM GONNA GO TO MY ROOM!” You shout out suddenly, surprising all three of you. But you don’t waste time immediately getting out of there, pushing past Karkat, and absconding up the stairs. 

—————————————————————

Okay, now let’s back up to about 12 hours ago.

I hope you’re not annoyed about all the time hopping. Because this is a Homestuck story, so honestly what were you expecting?

I’m sure you’re curious as to what really happened, so we’ll jump into the perspective of our two friends for a little bit.

Not long after you had left for your date, the two of them had made dinner, ate together, played a few more games, watched a movie, and possibly other things they wouldn't be comfortable with saying outloud, for a while. Now they were just waiting for you to get home, biding time. They had no obligation to of course (as permitted by you earlier), but they always did. Especially considering the fact that lately all your dates have almost always ended in an intoxicated [Y/n] tripping over themselves in the hallway when they got home. Truthfully though, they didn’t mind. Most times it was actually pretty fun, since it did get kinda boring without you around for long periods of time. It’s become kind of a routine, hanging out with drunk/tipsy [Y/n] after midnight until they passed out. However, now the two of them were also starting to worry you might be developing a bad habit.

They both lay on the couch now, Karkat flat on his back, and Dave laying by his side with his face resting on his chest. Dave’s so comfy right now, he feels like he’s about to fall asleep, but he’s not letting himself. Karkat’s staring at the ceiling, mind running with thoughts of where you might be. Both of them silently worrying to themselves. It had been quiet for a while between them after their movie ended. Just the home menu for the DVD they watched playing the same track over and over quietly, the colorful screen being the only illumination in the room.

“It’s past midnight. Do you think they’re okay?” Kartkat spurts out suddenly, breaking a long silence.

“No clue.” Dave mumbles back “You wanna try calling them again?”

“No…” He mutters quietly. Dave listens to Karkats chest take a big sigh of breath, his head moving up and then down with it.

There’s a beat of silence.

“I mean- Do you think they’re just not coming home tonight?” Karkat offers.

“Nah, they always come home. They’d have told us if they weren’t” Dave responds calmly, trying to ease his boyfriends worries by doing so.

“Yeah, but maybe they forgot. They never come home this late.” Karkat continues anyways.

“Hey.” Dave pushes himself up a little onto his elbow, so he’s looking down at Karkat. “I'm sure they're fine. If they're not back in an hour, I'll go fly around and look for them, kay?”

Karkat sighs again, blushing a little at the minimal distance between them and the intense eye contact, with Dave’s shade being off his face and sitting on the coffee table. Dave had quite the intense stare sometimes. Karkats never sure if it’s because he barely sees his boyfriends eyes, or if they’re just like that naturally, or for other reasons… “Yeah, okay. Sorry. I probably sound paranoid as shit right now.”

“Nah your'e good, you sound normal. I'm worried too but it's fine. It'll be fine.” Dave says, laying back down and avoiding eye contact now. That and the triple reassurance makes Karkat suspect that Dave is not as calm as he's letting on.

“Right... And you're sure you’re not as worried as me?” He says skeptically.

“Of course I am. Buttt I dunno, freaking out probably wont help anything right now.” Dave admits.

“You’re right…” Karkat nods.

Dave moves himself a bit, now tucked into Karkat’s neck. Karkat begins to purr quietly, indicating to Dave that he’s finally relaxing a little. Good.

There’s another few minutes of silence.

"I just really hope this guy wasn’t a piece of shit like the others, and that’s why they’ve been gone so long. Maybe they’re just having the time of their life snogging on him right now or something, they forgot to tell us they’d be late.” Karkat says suddenly, breaking the silence again.

“Yeah…. That'd.. Be cool.” Dave replies, not really believing his own words. That would technically be best scenario, yes. But... would it really?

It’s quiet as they both separately imagine what you having a boyfriend might be like. You’d probably be gone a lot more, or bringing him over all the time, or both. The thought makes them both feel weird for the same reason.

“If that's the case I at least hope he's cool. It'd suck if they started dating someone lame and we had to pretend like he isn't all the time for their sake.” Dave adds.

“Or worse, if he’s just straight up annoying.” Karkat agrees.

“Yeah honestly.” Dave sighs.

“I don't even know why they keep going out with mediocre ass people. It’s like they just close their eyes and point to someone at random. They can do a lot better than that.” Karkat says with a scowl.

“Yeah. But it's their life so we cant really do much about it. If they wanna be with someone's annoying or mediocre ass we'll just have to deal with it.” Dave comments, albeit a bit unhappily.

“Oh, fuck that. I'm their morail I'm... I'm not just going to let them date anyone. They deserve someone who... Who appreciates them and-" Karkat starts.

"And loves them, right, but if that person happens to be someone lame or annoying then what? What if said person makes them really happy?" Dave questions, and it makes sense for it to be towards Karkat, but he's also asking himself.

"Then... then..." Karkat stutters and then goes silent.

Dave glances up at him a bit, though he can't really see Karkat's face with how he's positioned right now.

"I mean... I'll support them if that's what they really want. As long as that person is good for them, I wouldn't stand for anyone who didn't have [Y/n]'s best interest in mind or wanted to use them but-... Yeah, even if I don't like the perosn, if they're good to [Y/n] and they love them then fine. I guess, if it was really a problem, they might just move out... and we'd have to deal with seeing them less, right?" Karkat rambles, as he brings up a hand to run through his hair. 

Karkat's fist tightens on his hair and Dave involuntarily frowns at the thought.

“Man… I'm not gonna lie that would fucking suck.” Dave says tightly.

“Yeah. It really would.” Karkat agrees immediately.

Another beat of silence. 

"Why do we even care so much about their love-life anyways?" Dave says quietly, but there's not really a way to be quiet when you're literally right next to someone's ear.

"Dave, I get that you still don't totally understand troll romance because you didn't grow up with it, but this is typical moirallegiance. We're their morail, we want to bring out the best in them. To see them happy and being at their full potential-" Karkat starts.

"No, no I get that." Dave says, shaking his head.

"Oh." Karkat feels kinda bad now about having trollsplained the concept to him, blushing a little.

"I just mean like- I mean obviously we wanna see them happy. Even if we weren't morails, that's what human friendship is like too. You wouldn't sit back and watch your best friend being in some fucked up relationship. Of course you'd want to help. But it's different it's not just that. We're just- Why are we..." He trails off a bit, not really sure what he's even trying to ask. Karkats now shifted his body to the side so he can look down at Dave's face. Karkat has a look of confusion that asks Dave to continue his question, though he doesn't think he wants to anymore.

"It's just that... Like why do I feel so shitty at the thought entirely?" Dave finishes, staring at the symbol on Karkat's shirt.

"Of them being with someone with an unbearable personality?" Karkat asks back.

"No!" Dave blurts out and then catches himself because, if that's not what he meant, then what did he mean?

"I-I mean... Yeah. That." He corrects himself.

Karkat looks a bit thoughtful for a moment. "Well, because it obviously affects us too. We'd no doubt have to see and hear about this person all the time. So it makes sense." He assures him, running his hand through Dave's hair now. Dave just sighs at this.

A little more time goes by like this, laying together quietly, both lost in their own thoughts.

“Hey, remember that one time that troll dropped them off and he tried to come inside, but his horns were fucking enormous and he dented the doorway???” Karkat brings up suddenly, trying to lighten the mood. 

Dave snorts when he stifles a laugh. That was hilarious. Karkat was freaking out at the time, just going off on the dude for ruining their doorframe. He made the guy feel so bad that he seriously came back the next day to help fix it. That was actually one of the better dates, but you said he was ‘too sweet’ for you. Whatever the hell that means.

“Oh man dude remember when that one gym-bro-looking guy came for the date way too early while [Y/n] was still out doing something?” Dave says, remembering back on another failed date.

“Oh fuck! Yeah, we had to entertain him for like two hours.” Karkat laughs, rolling his eyes.

“God that dude fucking SUCKED at smash.” Dave snorts.

“Seriously. It's like he’d never touched a console in his life.” Karkat agrees.

“Judging that dude's demeanor he was probably hoping for a different type of smash. I can’t think of any other reason someone would show up like four fuckin hours early. Unless he has no idea what a clock is? Just senses the time by licking his finger and feeling the air or some shit.”

“Gross. But yeah, probably.” Karkat says with a look of disgust. He'd never thought about it that way, but that's probably a good thing. If he'd known that was the guys intention he'd probably get the urge to murder him. 

“Instead he got two random dudes absolutely serving his ass to him on the Wii.” Dave says triumphantly and holds his fist out for Karkat who begrudgingly fist bumps him back. He knows better than to refuse, seeing as Dave will probably just find a way to make him anyways. 

They both chuckle again a little at the reliving of this memory. See, the whole situation wasn’t all that bad. It made for funny moments to look back on. But they were both hoping you would get over this phase sometime soon. Assuming it was a ‘phase’.

Then, the boys hear muffled footsteps and the jingling of keys from beyond the hallway. It makes them both sit up immediately when they register, not noticing how excited they were at the fact that you were finally back. They sit on the couch, heads facing the hallway, anticipating the usual sound of the door opening followed by slurred “IM HOMEE”’s. But…

The key jingling goes on for much longer than usual. It sounds like you drop them, pick them up, drop them again, pick them up, drop them again, and then let out a frustrated/defeated whine. They share a look at each other and have to hold back their laughter listening to the absurd struggle happening outside. 

Karkat's smile drops a little when he keeps listening. "Are they alone out there?”

“Maybe? I don't hear anyone else.” Dave replies with a shrug, now also frowning a little.

When the sounds go quiet like you'd given up, the two of them then stand up together. Dave grabs his shades off the table and Karkat fixes his shirt a bit before they both head down the hallway towards the front door.

You’re still lazily trying at the lock, and groaning quietly to yourself as you continue to struggle. Dave is the first one to reach the door as he unlocks the 3 different locks (thanks to Dirk. god knows why he wanted to install that many.), finally opening the entrance up to you. However, you were actually leaning your entire body weight on it for some fucking reason, and thus go tumbling straight forward onto him.

“Woah!!!” “Holy shit!” They both yell out as Karkat reaches out to help catch you, and Dave tries not to fall over at the sudden impact.

“Are you okay [Y/n]?!” Karkat shouts and is now helping you both to your feet. Dave steadies you as you struggle to stand up straight.

"Yeah I'm awesome, thanks." Dave answers instead sarcastically. Karkat only throws a scowl his way in response.

You look an absolute mess. Your makeup is running, there’s dirt and presumably wine on your outfit, and your coat is just completely gone, so you look like you’re absolutely freezing. Your feet throb with pain due to the uncomfortable pair of shoes you just walked all the way home in. Granted, you could’ve floated home, but sometimes that's more dangerous when you’re drunk. From your perspective, the room feels like it’s rocking back and forth like you’re on a boat.

“What the hell? What happened???” Dave asks, absolutely bewildered at how fucked up you look, as he starts to lead you further into the house. Karkat takes a look outside before he closes the door. No guy, no car, no sign of anything really.

“[Y/n], did you walk all the way back here???” Karkat asks as he shuts the door and turns back around to follow behind the two of you.

You giggle really hard suddenly, sniffling a bit. “Hejhe yeahhhhhh…. HIC.. buttt isokay becus iem ere now!” You say, strangely happy despite looking like you just had the most miserable experience of your life. You lean into Dave, snuggling into his shoulder. “an et wasn’t .. thaaat faur. jus like. sum blocks.”

“Jesus you must've drank a shit ton if you're still this drunk right now. Was it that fucking bad?” Dave asks and you'd be able to sense the tension in his voice if you weren't two sheets to the fucking wind right now.

You only hum in response, closing your eyes. Your weight is completely on Dave now and he stumbles a bit as he stops at the bottom of the steps. Karkat comes up behind him and helps to support you as the three of you start to make your way up the steps. It’s a funny sight. They’re basically commanding you on how to walk.

When you get up to your room, they lay you down on the bed and you immediately feel weightless, like you could pass out right there. Were your blankets always this soft? What brand of laundry detergent have you been using? This shit smells and feel awesome.

This is what you're vaguely mumbling and giggling about to yourself as your two friends just watch you in concerned shock.

Dave is pissed. It’s almost like the roles are reversed, since Karkat was usually the one to get pissed off about shit like this, but even he’s more worried right now. Worried about both you and Dave, because if he can sense his anger just from looking at his shade-covered face then it must be bad.

“[Y/n], why the fuck would you walk all the way here alone absolutely shit faced??? Are you fucking stupid? Do you know what could’ve happened to you?!” He shouts at you, and you flinch a little at his volume.

It’s quiet after, even Karkat just stands beside him and watches, since he couldn’t have summed it up better really.

You don’t answer, and you’re smiling while you’re slowly falling asleep, which sets him off. He goes and sits next to you on the bed, pulling you to sit up-right by the shoulders. You groan a bit at the sudden man-handling, but you don't really open your eyes to look at him. 

“Hey! You don't get to fall asleep yet, we need an explanation.” He says firmly, but that still doesn't seem to get type of reaction from you at all.

“Mnnnn… whaa?” Your consciousness feels like it’s fading in and out. You don’t even remember what he just asked you.

“It’s fine, Dave. Let's just let them sleep. We can grill them tomorrow when they’re sober and not about to pass the fuck out. Look at them, they can’t even keep eye contact. They look like they're in another fucking dimension right now.” Karkat comments, gesturing a hand at your face which, indeed looks like you're on another planet or being possessed or some shit. Your eyes are kinda open, but eyes rolled back and mouth hung open a bit as you fall out of consciousness. 

“Dude you think they're gonna remember any of this tomorrow? Wer'e all gonna be clueless as fuck for the rest of forever as to what the hell just happened tonight.” Dave argues, looking at his boyfriend. Karkat doesn’t have anything to say back, not really knowing anything about human intoxication. Not more than Dave does at least.

Dave turns back to you.

“[Y/N]!” He shouts suddenly.

“AH! H-HUH?!” You shout, bewildered, as Dave shakes you comically by the shoulders.

“WHY DID YOU WALK HOME ALONE??? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST CALL US?! WE CALLED YOU LIKE TEN TIMES.”

“Bwuhhgg…. I jush.. dednt wana bother you guyss..” You respond slowly when he stops shaking you, now pouting. You're not making eye contact, but it can be easily passed off as literally not being able to. Your head is just flopped over on your shoulder and Daves hand, gazing lazily at your own lap.

Dave’s aggression very quickly subsides after hearing this. He sighs. “Dude… You're never a bother. You gotta tell us when this stuff happens. We were worried.” He tells you seriously. Karkat just continues to watch in silence since gentle heartfelt confrontation like this isn't too easy for him.

You frown, only humming lowly a bit in response.

“Okay??? Say you'll call us next time!!” He says, shaking you again, but more lighthearted and gentle this time.

“Mmmnnnokayyyyee! .. I will.. I will!” You promise and giggle a bit. Dave smiles at this as well.

Your face drops very suddenly and then contorts as everything starts to feel weird. Bad weird. The shaking Dave was doing had canceled out the room rocking for a moment, and then hit you again when he stopped. It's hard to explain. You start to feel kinda sick, and he can see it on your face, because he suddenly looks horrified.

“Ughhgg…” You groan as you lurch forward a bit. Dave immediately stands up to grab your trash bin and brings it over to you. He puts it in your lap, and you cling to it as soon as its there, leaning your head over the side. There's a moment of stillness as Dave watches to see if you're going to hurl right this second. When it seems like it was a false alarm, or at least is gonna take a while, Dave turns to Karkat and lays a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey just watch them for a sec. I'll be right back.” He says and with that he leaves the room and heads downstairs. Karkat nods and takes a seat next to you where Dave just was. He watches you sit there wrapped around the trash can, face contorting and relaxing as you try not to lose your dinner.

“Was the date really that fucking bad?” He finally asks after a while of watching you. 

You glance over at him from your current position. The two of you lock eyes for a moment, and you slowly nod, keeping the same facial expression. He sighs.

“Kartkat…” You say quietly. He keeps his gaze on you, nodding slightly at his name. The gaze you two share seems really intimate for some reason. From his point of view you look so innocent, sweet. You look- “I.. I’m shorry-HUGGHHHGGGG”

And now you are barfing. Karkat immediately gags and turns away, having to watch that disgusting show of vomit leave your body. You can’t say this is your most graceful moment. You cough and gag a bit until your body settles down and all that's left is the burn of acid down your throat.

There’s a dead silence as you both sit there, motionless, too scared to move for different reasons. Then you’re throwing up again with a loud hurl. More coughing and gagging, and then the silence returns. It lasts for a while before you decide to speak again.

“Karkkaat.." You groan, the soreness from your throat making speaking kinda painful. "I'm ssorrryHICsorryyy.. Ughh”

“For what? Other than making me watch that just now.” He says, still not looking at you, avoiding the last incident from happening again.

You groan again. “Ffor.. Making youu worry… An dave-“ You gag like you’re going to throw up again, and Karkat flinches, but nothing happens. You whine a bit, clearly in pain, though obviously self-inflicted. Still, it makes something tug at Karkat's heart.

“Its fine, [Y/n]. Just maybe… Don't get this fucked up again?” He says, and he can hear the rustling of the plastic bag in the trash as you nod against it. “Or like, maybe make sure you tell us if you do.” He adds.

“Mmmmnn.. its.. iss embarassig..” You’re really leaning your face completely on the side of the bin, squishing your cheek and your words.

“Yeah, it is. I don't really know why you keep doing it, honestly. I'm pretty sure you had never even touched alcohol before six months ago.“ He comments firmly. There’s a pause. ”You’re better than this.”

His last phrase stings and makes you quite sad. You're disappointed in yourself, for disappointing them, for making them worried. You suppose you thought maybe they wouldn't care this much about you anymore, but you know in reality that's silly. It's just much easier to hurt yourself when you don't have to think about how it'll affect other people, right? You convinced yourself that they moved onto matespritship together and left you behind, but that's not true, they're still your morails. You are their concern, and it's not a burden because they choose to do it. There's a lump in your stomach as you realize that still means they can still choose not to, and perhaps they might after tonight.

Right now, you’re not even sure when or how this substance abuse really started either. You try to pinpoint it in your mind, but it’s hard in your current state. You know it’s never been this bad. You’re pretty sure.

“But, yknow, I get it.” Karkat adds suddenly, pulling you from your thoughts. You curiously perk your head up a little, gazing at him as he now stares forward. You’re really admiring his face right now more than you usually do, or more like you’re allowing yourself to. Karkat is really very charming up close, his facial features round and soft, contradicting his constant demeanor. And his teeth… You’re staring at his lips now. You can’t make yourself look away. “It's hard to break out of self-inflicted bad habits. Nobody’s perfect, [Y/n]. I mean, you know that. Hell, I’d be the last person to say I'm without flaws, right? I just… Want to know why you’re doing this…”

He turns to make eye contact with you again. You stare deep into his eyes, and it pulls at your heart strings. The intoxication is making it hard for you to hold back the things you usually do. It’s making the pain, and the guilt, and the longing worse. You wish you could tell him. You wish you could just say it and get it over with.

You let go of the bin with one hand and place it gently on top of Karkats, who flinches slightly. You watch him glance at his hand and and then back up at you. You keep a soft gaze with him as you feel his fingers move to intertwine with yours. 

Right, Karkat is your morail. He's been your morail since the meteor. You two have been through it all together, the creation of this universe itself. He's here for you, he's not going anywhere. You're reminded of the first time Karkat and you shared an intimate moment like this, though much more wholesome. Karkat's dark bedroom, only illuminated by the light of a small screen playing some movie neither of you bothered to pay attention to. That day with his warm hand in yours, the other on your cheek as your foreheads touch and you're so close you can feel the heat radiating from him. Suddenly you're 16 again, crying and confiding in the only person you've ever been intimate with in a not-quite-romantic, but not-quite-not-romantic way.

You get it now, it's different. Moirallegience was great, and you're so grateful Karkat taught you about it, but it's not what you wanted. Maybe it's what you needed at the time, when you were a kid dealing and with everything that happened, and you're thankful you had it. But it's different now. You yearn for more... You flipped quadrants. You're totally flushed for him. You knew this, but it's finally solidified in your mind. You can't stay pale if this is really what you want.

“Karkat…… Mmm..I..” You start, but your words fall short for a moment as Karkat reaches over with his other hand and wipes some tears from your face that you hadn't realized had started falling. He doesn't look at you with pity at all. In fact, once he's done drying your face, he goes back to gazing at you calmly, waiting patiently for you to get your thoughts together. You're not feeling nearly as nauseous anymore, but your mind is jumbled and you're not exactly sure how you want to say what you need to.

It’s silent. You can only hear slight thuds or clanks from downstairs.

“I just… I.. Um..” You stutter lamely, and Karkat nods again for you continue. You can see him giving you a look now that reads kinda like 'alright spit it out', because he's clearly trying not to pressure you, but no one likes suspense. Same as when someone texts you 'hey we need to talk', and then leaves you on read for several hours. 

You have to tell him. You’d never do it sober, but if you say it now maybe you wouldn’t have to think about it later. And it would just be over with. Karkat stares at you, waiting for a finished sentence. You glance at your hands again and think about how patient he's being for you right now. It all just feels so gentle. So different from how Karkat normally is. You feel extremely vulnerable in this moment.

Do it.

“I… thuh truth is..” You say as Karkat nods again, and as if feeling the energy of what you're going to say, he subconsciously leans in towards you. You can hear theloud footsteps of Dave making his way back upstairs now. Quickly, say it!

“that I reelly…… I really lo-“

��Alright. I'm back bros." Dave cuts in, making his entrance at the best possible time ever. He's carrying a handful of things as he makes his way over to your desk with them, not really noticing whatever type of moment you and Karkat might've been having. "What'd I miss?”

You slump back down onto the bin. Chance lost. Karkat looks a bit confused for a second at this and then shakes it off, looking to Dave now. 

“Oh, nothing major. Just them barfing their damn brains out and subjecting me to watch against my will.” He comments sarcastically.

“Aw what! I can't believe I missed that.” Dave laughs, and he seems pretty calm now, a lighter attitude from before. He approaches you, and you can tell he stops in front of you. "[Y/n] how funny was Karkat's reaction to you hurling? One to ten." 

"Seriously?!" Karkat protests and you hear a sudden 'ack!' from Dave as Karkat elbows him. "They're not gonna answer a stupid question like that when they're very clearly currently dying, asshat!! What the hell were you even downstairs doing that whole time?!"

"I w-" He starts, but stops when he hears you mutter something muffled into the bin, not at all understandable. 

"What?" Karkat asks, prompting you to repeat.

You lift up your head slightly, just enough to be out of the bin so you can be heard. "...Eight." You answer flatly.

There's only a second of surprised quiet before Dave snorts and lets out a laugh at this. 

"WHAT THE HELL?! HOW COULD YOU KNOW YOU WERE HEAD FIRST IN THAT DAMN TRASHCAN!!!" Karkat shouts at you and you just smile to yourself, feeling a little better again with this distraction.

"I knew it." Dave says with a smirk when he calms down. Then he leans down, taking the bin carefully from under you, and you groan as you have to hold yourself up again now. He offers out the biggest fuckin' jug of water you've ever seen and stares down at you. You stare back up.

“Drink.” He says bluntly.

“…Bhut I do-” You start to protest.

“Don't care, Didn't ask. Just drink that ish.” He orders you, still blunt, but joking at the same time.

“…Okay…” You reluctantly take the absurdly large container of water.

“All of it.” He adds.

“All uf it?!!?!” You repeat in disbelief. 

“Yup.”

You whine a little, and yet you still comply, opening the top and beginning to chug some of it down.

Then, he places a paper bowl with a generous amount of heated-up spaghetti and meatballs in your lap. You stop chugging to look at it, and then back up at Dave, clearly confused.

“You just barfed your stomach up, right? Gotta eat something.”

You look to Karkat now. “Is dis your-“

“Yeah, I made it.” He answers before you can finish, arms crossed now. Probably still pissed at you two picking on him earlier.

You hum quietly in response, smiling as you go to take a bite, and then continue to chug water.

Karkat watches Dave as he ties up the bag in the trash bin that he took from you. He cringes a bit at the perhaps sight or smell of it. Or both. Karkat would never say it, but he finds the way Dave’s taking care of you to be really adorable and endearing. This isn't exactly a flushed feeling, it's one he's gotten before when the three of you were pale, though they can go hand-in-hand sometimes. He's happy that you all take care of each other like this, but specifically you right now who happens to now be his only morail. 

“Where’d you even learn all this anti-hangover shit again?” He asks Dave, leaning back on his hands as he continues to watch him.

“Combination of tips from Roxy and Dirk mostly." He answers, taking an air freshener off your dresser and beginning to spray it around in some places.

You giggle, almost spitting up some of the water. “Hehe… akayay mum an dad” You mumble senselessly to yourself.

“Since you know Roxy used to be like a full blown alcoholic. And Dirk just.. knows things? He’s like an fuckin' encyclopedia as a person, from all the time he spent being… I don't know, chronically online and alone growing up. Comes in handy I guess.” He shrugs.

Now that you’re eating, hydrating, and seem to not be as out of it anymore, Dave comes to sit beside you on the opposite side from Karkat. You sit in silence, looking down at the plate, and basically just zoning out while you eat. Head empty. Dave and Karkat share a look, and then look back to you.

“Sooo…" Dave starts slowly "You wanna talk about tonight?”

“Yeah, what the hell happened?” Karkat adds.

You have to stop and think about it for a moment.

What did happen? What happened… what happened… Oh! …Oh.

They watch you go through the range of different facial expressions while you think, ending with one that looks suddenly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“It's okay, you can tell us. Seriously. We wont judge you or any dumb shit like that.” Dave assures you. 

“Speak for yourself.” Karkat jokes.

“Dude!” Dave shoots him a look.

“I'M JOKING! WHAT, SO YOU CAN CRACK JOKES ABOUT THEM VOMITING BUT I CAN'T-“

“I whent off on ‘im… Got rreaaally mad..” You say suddenly, Karkat going silent when you finally speak up. You frown, and they go back to looking at you. Karkat puts a supportive hand on your back, and Dave follows suit with him.

“What'd he do? Was he being a dick?” Dave asks gently.

You shake your head. “Nnot reelly… he was nice… he jus…” You fiddle a bit with the top of the water bottle. “He sed some stuff….. about…”

The boys wait patiently for you to finish, but you don’t.

“About what?” Karkat's the first to ask impatiently.

You don’t answer. The silence is a bit unsettling. It's like something is bounding your mouth to stay shut, to not admit anything.

“About your music?” Dave guesses, but you shake your head.

“Your outfit?” Karkat tries, but you shake your head again.

“Then what was it?” Dave asks again, a bit lost.

It’s continues to stay quiet. You’re fighting off spilling your heart out to them right now. Literally as hard as you can. You’re gripping the water bottle now, with both hands.

“Just tell us. It's fine. It can't be as bad as you think.” Karkat insists, and you know it's not meant to be pushy or anything. He's just trying to assure you that you're safe to say whatever it is.

“Yeah, if you don't then we're gonna have to start playing charades or something.” Dave says, trying to ease the mood. It still doesn’t warrant a reaction, which subtly worries him a bit more. They both lean down to get a look at what your facial expression is. To their immediate surprise, you had started crying.

You’re not even sure when the tears started coming. Your head just feels like it’s racing and the intoxication is not helping you calm down or hold back, of course. You just can’t hold it in. Not now. And now that they see you’re crying, more tears start coming, and short sobs start to escape you.

“[Y/N]??” Karkat blurts out in surprise, immediately reaching for you to calm you down.

“Wait hold on wait wait wait. It's fine, you don't have to tell us then!” Dave stutters out in a panic as Karkat holds your face and tries to wipe tears from you, but they're not stopping any time soon. Karkat's touch only makes it worse, it just reminds you how you really feel for him. For both of them. They both think it's pale, but they has no idea how you feel! At all! You pull away from him and go back to looking at the floor, gripping the water bottle so tight you're surprised it hasn't exploded. Karkat wilts a little at this deflection.

They both start to panic a little, not sure how to comfort you when they’re not even sure what’s really going on. You almost never cry in front of them anymore, unless it’s about a movie or game or something. You used to cry on the meteor sometimes, but that feels like forever ago now.

Dave slides off the bed to kneel in front of you, moving the bowl off your lap, and taking one of your hands in his hesitantly. Karkat starts to rub your back where his hand has been sitting. Normally with anyone outside the three of you he's not the best with physical comfort, but he knows you, and he knows exactly what helps you to calm down when you're like this. 

“Hey… Hey. [Y/n]. Look at me.” Dave says up to you ever so softly. His fingers intertwine with yours now and you feel like you want to yank your heart out of your chest with how bad it aches. 

You reluctantly make eye contact with Dave. It’s hard when you’re not only overflowing with a lot of confusing emotions, but also quite embarrassed about this whole thing.

“Listen, I'm sorry we asked, okay? You don’t have to tell us. It's gonna be fine. Everything's fine” He assures you sweetly. Karkat nods with this.

You bring a hand up to wipe at least some of your tears away. You glance back and forth between the water bottle and Dave, then nodding. Now you’re also blushing from the embarrassment of having them tend to you like this. It feels nice, but it also hurts at the same time in a way that's hard to explain.

You glance at where he’s still holding your hand. Dave's hand is bigger than yours. Not in really in width, but moreso in lenth. You always thought his hands were pretty, slender and gentle in that way. You hardly get to hold his hand since moirallegience type intimacy doesn't come as naturally to you two as it does with Karkat. But there are moments like this one, where you get to connect with him like this. Your heart starts to tug again. You frown, biting your lip in frustration.

It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.

You’re gonna say it. Even though every logical voice in your head is screaming at you not to. You’ll never get a moment like this again. And you’re too emotional to even care about the outcome right now.

“Dave… Karkat…” You say in a shaky voice, and they’re both looking at you intently.

“The guyy… He was saying…. Bad stuff abouut… You guys b-“ You’re pushing out clumps of sentences between sobs, or hics, or inhales. “Becuz.. I told him ab-out… How much I.. Love you guys… B-beecause yore my morails… And.. An he said… That it was wierd… For meto feel that way… That it waasnent… moiral feelinngs.. An I..”

You have to take a break from speaking for a moment to try and pull it together a little, and wipe your face a few more times. You’re not looking at either of them, so you can’t see their expression. But they’re hanging onto every word, and they don’t bother to interject yet.

“He was jus… Goingg on about howw.. He was a much better optioun.. And I had to move on b-but I-“

You’re breathing heavy. And Karkat continues to rub your back, which is definitely helping.

You push through. You have to say it. You need to.

“Bhut I….” You squeeze Dave’s hand and your eyes shut, like you’re preparing.

“I don't want to! I…. I DO love you guys! Like love love… like RED love.” You declare finally, and you feel the biggest weight temporarily lift off your shoulders.

Karkats hand stops, and you feel Dave’s grip on your hand loosen a little. This makes you feel worse immediately. You retract from Dave’s hand to completely cover your face with both of yours. Sobbing continues, in fact it might be harder now. You’re a complete mess and you know it. You’re not even regretting what you said, you’re just coping with it. With the fact that the two people you love most on this planet and that you’re in love with, are dating each other, and distancing from you at the same time.

Karkat and Dave are just staring at each other, mouths agape, eyes wide. They have no idea what to even say, and the silence just warrants more venting from you.

“I always loved you guys!! Since the meateor!! I-I think... And then.. You started dating when I LEFT an.. You don't spend as much tiem with me so I.. TRY to find maybhe some one to take my miind off et. But it jus makes me feel wourse!!” You say, exasperated. You still don’t look at them. You can’t do it. The silence makes you feel like you’re pouring yourself out to a wall, and honestly you’re starting to wish that were the case right now. “I jus cant do it and.. IM SORRy… I'm sorryim sorry…… I should… Honesly I should jus leeave.. Sou then you guys can-“

Before you can go any further, you feel two warm embraces take you in. One from your right first and then one from head on. They both pull you into an unintended group hug.

And then… Silence.

Your sobbing and ranting comes to a rapid halt, your breathing still stuttering and gasping a bit for a few moments. You sniffle every couple seconds, but your breathing slows eventually. The embrace completely pulled you out of an intense mind space you didn’t realize you were in until now. The air is completely peaceful, and calm.

The feeling of both their warmths on you lulls you gently into a content, lovely feeling. This is love. Not specific to which quadrant, whatever you’re feeling right now, you just know it as love. You've always had this and it's something you don't ever want to lose. You lean into the hug, nuzzling your face into someone's shoulder, you're not sure which one's. 

After staying that way for what felt like forever, and yet still not long enough, Karkat starts to pull back and Dave follows suit with him. You were honestly so relaxed you almost fell asleep! So you’re kinda pulled back into reality again, blinking off the drowsiness.

Dave goes back to his spot sitting next to you, and everyone is still silent. No one looks at each other.

You decide you probably need to be the one to break the silence, since you did just lay a lot on them. But just as you think that-

"[Y/n]..." They both start at the same time, to your surprise, and theirs as well.

"No! No, I should-" You start, not letting either of them finish “I’m sorry... I dident mean to get so intens-“

“It's okay. Seriously. You don't have anything to be sorry about.” Dave cuts you off this time.

“I do thuough…" You say slowly "I shouldn't haave gone out tonight... Or ever… You guys always tayke care of me and..."

"Dude we don't mind doing that stuff, you're our-"

"Morail. I know." You finish for him, almost a bit coldly. There's a tense quiet for a few seconds after this.

"But... Even then is like I purposly go out an.. And get fucked up and jus expect you guysh to take care off me and it's- It's not-"

“We don't care!” Karkat cuts you off this time, very instantly.

“…Wha?” 

“We don't care about any of that stuff. We just want you to be happy. Or as close to it as you can be on this planet, I guess. We take care of you because…. We want to.” Karkat puts his hand on yours, but he doesn’t look at all when you turn to him. This hurts a bit, and you wonder why he's avoiding your gaze. Did your confession make him uncomfortable? Dave follows again and does the same with his hand, nodding in agreement, and you actually make eye contact with him when you turn around. Or you assume so, behind the shades.

Then after a few moments the two of them share a look again, but you watch them this time.

“Honestly [Y/n]…" Dave starts, but looks away again. "When we started dating it was because-“ 

“Wait. You're gonna tell them...?” Karkat interrupts, swinging his head around to stare at Dave, and then trails off like he's going to finish the sentence but assumes it's just implied. When you look at him you notice he's blushing slightly.

 “Tell mee... what??” You press.

“Yeah man, I mean, they deserve it. And I'm not sure they'll even remember this really anyways.” Dave replies, adding that last part a little quickly. He seems a nervous as he shifts a bit where he's sitting on the bed. 

“Listen.. When we started dating…” Dave starts and looks at you, but he actually can’t bring himself to keep eye contact right now. He lifts his free hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly as he looks away yet again. “It was like.. a few months into your tour. It was the first time you weren’t living with us and it was so weird… It felt like. I dont know…”

“Basically it felt super incomplete and lonely without you.” Karkat says for him.

“Right… Even though we had each other still. Aaand I think that maybe that made us get closer?? Like trying to fill a void or something.” He continues hesitantly.

“Doesent that jus mean… You guys wouldof never haf told each other if I didn't leave?” You say, now confused. You're not sure if this is supposed to be cheering you up or if they're just confessing here. And honestly you're so exhausted, it's hard to focus on what's being said.

“I dunno. Maybe? But the point is that it happened because we missed you. Not because... You were ‘finally gone’ or something.”

“And it didn’t just happen overnight, either. It was... Actually kind of dragged out and confusing.” Karkat confesses, staring off towards your desk to your right.

“Yeah it was like more than halfway through you being gone. And we were talking about you right before…” He stops himself and clears his throat. "Well... Anyways we um. We never knew you felt that way so this is..." He trails off, failing to find the words and hoping someone might pick it up, but an awkward silence lingers.

You’re trying to wrap your head around their point, but you still don’t really see the difference that much. It doesn’t make you feel much better. Still, you guess it’s a sweet gesture. They're trying to validate your feelings in some weird way. But they've never really been good at verbally expressing these kinds of feelings, so you understand. 

Dave clears his throat again. Definitely not awkward the second time. “So anyways I guess... I'm sorry for leaving you out. We knew you'd probably end up feeling like the third wheel, but i didn’t think it'd go like... like this. Shit kinda flew off the handle.” He says, like he's wrapping up something here. Though you're still not sure what.

“Yeah. Same here.” Karkat agrees and doesn't bother to add much more, but you feel him squeeze your hand after a few moments. Too hard for it to have been meant for you. There's something still on his mind.

But, regardless, you nod and agree. This was a lot.

They never really acknowledge your actual confession, but you don’t push about it. You’re too tired anyways. It's been a long fucking night. 

You lean over to rest your head on Karkats shoulder, exhausted. He flinches a little at the suddenness of the action, but he doesn’t move after. Dave leans over too so he’s resting his head on your shoulder. Then finally Karkat leans his head back onto yours. You guys stay like that again.

You’re not really thinking about much anymore, having aired all your biggest thoughts/troubles to them. But the two friends beside you are having quite a lot on their minds. Individually, but they might as well be almost the same. If you could look at the three of you from an outsiders view, you’d see their faces look a little troubled, and you just look fucking tired. There’s stuff they’ll have to talk about later. Privately.

For now, though, you should all really get some rest.

Karkat lets out a soft yawn, which makes you and Dave do the same, contagiously.

“Alright. I think we all need some damn beauty sleep after tonight.” Karkat suggests, and you and Dave nod together.

Dave stands up, and holds a hand out to Karkat. He takes it and stands up, and you let yourself fall completely onto the bed at the loss of your troll-pillow. Karkat and Dave watch you for a moment, while you stare down at your white comforter, half-lidded.

Dave holds a hand out to you too. You stare at it for a moment and then look up at him again, puzzled.

“You wanna have a movie night?” He asks. Obviously it wasn’t actually a movie night. He just wanted an excuse to not have to leave you in here alone without having to straight up ask ‘hey, you wanna come sleep with us?'.

You immediately smile so big, beaming, and take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. You’re quick to balance yourself, and Dave puts a hand around you to help you walk across the hall, while Karkat cleans up your room a bit more.

In the room, the three of you proceed to lay down, putting on some random shitty movie. None of you bother watching, you’re all trying to sleep as soon as it starts playing.

In your drunk, almost sleeping haze, you’re not really thinking when you say your last words of the night before you can drift off. “I love you guys.” And right before your consciousness is pulled out from underneath you, you swear you hear one or both say it back. But maybe it was your imagination.

You all fall asleep before the opening credits even get to finish.

The rest is history.

—————————————————————

Fast forward again back to the present.

Where we left off, you had just stormed off embarrassingly up to your room. You shut the door and take a seat on your desk chair, sighing.

This has just been such a bad streak of events. You want to ask Dave or Karkat what happened, but you don’t have the courage. You don’t even want to look at them now that they saw the video. But what did they know that you didn’t? It’s killing you. Not only that, but you’ll have to figure out what to say publicly. You’re sure people are talking a bunch of shit about you on the internet right now. Ugh.

You loathe the idea of looking at your phone, but you should probably respond to your friends. You don’t want to worry them anymore than you already have. When you type in your password, you can see a couple other of your friends have reached out to you now. And hen when you bring up your tabs to go to your messages, you notice the last tab open was your notes. You’re curious, so you click it, and it opens to a note you were apparently writing last night.

There’s a lot of misspellings, but you can make out most of it. You think it’s… supposed to be lyrics? As you read them and try to imagine what the sound you were going for is, you’re actually impressed! It’s pretty good. You could actually make a song out of this. The whole thing lights a bit of a fire under you suddenly, and you pull your laptop out of your drawer to add onto the idea. The lyrics were vaguely about what you’ve been feeling lately. When did you even get time to write this?

Just as you find yourself ‘in-the-zone’, so to speak, there’s a knock on your door. You groan internally. 

“Come in.” You say, against your own will.

Karkat steps in, looking a little awkward, like someone forced him to talk to you. You’re suspicious.

Neither of you speak. You just stare at each other. And if it were a staring contest you would’ve just won, as Karkat starts to look away awkwardly. This is weird.

“[Y/n]… Listen… About last night-” He starts.

“Yknow, I’m really not in the mood to talk about that particular subject right now. If you don’t mind.” You say harshly, turning back to your computer to open one of your editing programs. You know that probably stung. Morails… they’re supposed to feel comfortable opening up to each other without fear of judgement. They’re not supposed to close the other one out. But you suppose you’re not a very good pale companion lately. You’re not really good for any quadrant apparently.

Karkat frowns, moving over to a chair you have sitting near your desk, and taking a seat. He’s in your peripheral vision now, but at least you can tell he’s not staring at you. It’s silent as you keep yourself busy. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Out of curiosity, you sneak a side glance at him. He looks lost in thought, brows furrowed, looking at the carpeted floor. Your heart stirs for a moment, and you give in on this stupid silent treatment thing you have going.

You sigh, loudly. “Okay. Fine. What’d you wanna say?”

“Okay, I know you don’t want to talk about it-” He starts again, not missing a beat after your permission.

“Yeah, so much for that.” You mutter.

“-But I'm not gonna start grilling you or getting on your case or whatever. I just wanted to check on you. You know, because we’re friends? And this seems like it’s bothering you so-” 

“OF COURSE ITS BOTHERING ME, KAR!!” You shout suddenly, making him jump a little. Woah, not even you realized you were bottling that up. “I-…Sorry. That was a lot.”

You take a second to breathe, calming yourself. When you open your eyes again to look at Karkat, he has a familiar patient expression, willing to let you get ahold of yourself. You know he understands, and is letting you do what you need before saying anything.

“I mean it’s just…" You struggle for a moment to find the words. "I just can’t remember anything about last night, like at all! And then I see me being a total douche to that guy, who was really nice last I remember! And the waiter. Now of course everyone on the damn planet knows about it, and probably thinks I’m a fuckin’ alcoholic!” You exclaim, letting out your built up concerns. Karkat's nodding, listening to your rant openly.

“I’m gonna have to make a public statement, and call all my friends to have really awkward conversations assuring them that I’m fine, and deal with the fact that probably no one’s even going to want to go near me in a romantic way again ever. And… and…” You continue until you trail off and look over at him, dread in your eyes. You won’t finish the rest of that sentence. You just hope to god you didn’t say anything bad last night to them. Especially them.

As you two hold eye contact for a moment, you feel how he's pitying you, and you hate the feeling. Suddenly you hate it.

“Do you really not remember anything from last night?” Karkat speaks finally, carefully.

“Not a thing.” You say and lean back in your chair, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“Well... I’d say that’s probably a good thing then.” He says simply, and you pause before you react, expecting there to be more. But nothing else comes.

“Why the hell would that be a good thing??” You eventually ask in bewilderment, swinging your head back over to stare at him again.

Then it hits you. Oh, god.

Your face goes from angry, to terrified in a matter of seconds.

“What? Whats wrong???” Karkats says in response, confused by your reaction.

“Karkat…” You say slowly, not removing eye contact. You move closer to him in your computer chair, until your knees are a few inches from his. “I need to ask you something. Tell me the truth… Please.”

“Uh… sure? Okay.” He agrees slowly.

“Did I… say anything weird? To you and Dave, last night?” Your question comes out nervously, and you have to look to the side a few times.

Karkat opens his mouth to answer, then stops. He looks like he’s trying to think of how to answer correctly. The hesitation makes you a million times more nervous now.

“Karkat!” Your voice snaps him out of his thought process. He looks a little nervous, and you’d almost feel bad for him, if you weren’t the one who’s dignity was on the line right now! “Please. Please tell me.”

He sighs, seeming to let all of the useless pent-up worry about something go. “Okay… I wouldn’t really say it was 'weird'. But you definitely… said things to us. The restaurant wasn’t your last breakdown, I guess.” He admits, looking away at first, but slowly moving to meet your gaze with a wincing face. As if you're going to explode immediately after hearing this.

Great.

You slump all the way back in the chair again, leaning your head back. Your face looks as pained as you feel to be learning this information right now.

"Sorry to have to tell you, I know you really don't want to fuckin' hear it. And also I know it sounds bad, but it really wasn't. I mean, everything is fine. With us, I mean." He adds on, correcting himself at the end there before you have time to bud in and inform him that everything is in-fact the opposite of fine for you right now. That's a little reassuring to hear, at least, but you're still dying inside at the thought of it.

A moment passes and you feel his hand very lightly take yours, like he's testing the waters at first. When you don't react at all, he takes it in his fully and caresses your thumb as silent comfort. You hate to admit it does make you feel a little better, but not much.

“What’d I say?” You ask finally, in a way that makes it sound like you really didn’t want him to answer. You think maybe he picked up on it, because it’s silent for quite a while. “Karkat, just put me out of my misery already.”

“Alright. Alright... But you’re the one who asked, so don’t get pissed at me.“He warns you and takes a a deep breath.”Last night we were all talking, and you said-“

The sound of your bedroom door clicking open interrupts him.

“Yo. What we talking about in here?” Dave cuts in suddenly, striding into the room at perfect timing.

You look over at Dave as he walks in confidently, hands in his pockets. You’re looking very not-amused at him.

“Well damn son. Am I interrupting?” He asks, catching the attitude.

“No, let’s just make it an intervention!“ You say, words drenched in sarcasm as you roll your eyes.

“Oh hell yeah.” He says and easily takes a seat on your bed, leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees. Your eyes follow him as he does so.

"You want me to give a speech bout how worried I am about you? I can cry on command too. Make it two times more emotional.” He offers jokingly as he gazes back at you.

Sighing, you turn back to Karkat. “I’m not really in the mood for this. Kar, can you just tell me whatever embarrassing shit I said to you guys last night and get it over with?”

“I was fucking TRYING to-“ He starts.

“Oh, uh. Yeah I can tell you.” Dave claims suddenly, cutting him off again.

“What??” Karkat blurts out, at a loss at this. They stare at each other for a second. You’re only looking at Karkat, so you just see his expression relax after a beat of confusion. Then he nods.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, knock yourself out.” He agrees, suspiciously compliant. But you're too exhausted with this to really think about it that much.

You lazily turn over your head to look at Dave. You honestly don’t care who tells you, kinda done with having this dragged out this long already. “Cool. Great. Dave, what’d I say?”

“Right. So. You told us about the date. And I guess the guy was cool, but then he started talking shit about me and Karkat? Just straight up dissing us or whatever. You said he was jealous that you spend all your time around your two awesome best friends. (Us). Anddd at that point you must've been pretty wasted. Or more drunk than maybe you should have been. So you freaked out in our defense? Which, I mean I'm flattered. But I think the wine in the face was maybe a little-“

“Wait wait..." You cut his rambling short, waving your hand and sitting up slightly. "That’s it?” 

“Huh?” Is all he can manage after getting thrown off his course.

“That’s… all I freaked out about? That he insulted you guys?” You ask.

“Yeah. And also I guess because he accused you of having a thing for us.” Dave says, adding that second part on a little quick.

You wince and your heart seems to stop for a moment. You move your head just slightly to be staring up at the ceiling and think about this for a second. “… Oh.”

Dave and Karkat stare at each other.

"Karkat said I had like a second breakdown with you two though. What was that about?" You ask further, but don't bother looking back at him again.

"Oh, that. Uh..." You listen to him start and then trail off for a few moments before continuing. "I mean you said a lot of incoherent stuff, you were fucking slammed. But, I got kinda pissed because you walked home alone without contacting us at all like a dumbass. No offense sober [Y/n]. And then after we got you settled we asked what happened, you told us, and then you... You just were freaking out and babbling a bunch of stuff about that dude and how he was wrong and... We tried to calm you down, but a lot of it was just kind of nonsense. It wasn't anything with any real substance. I think." 

You take just a moment to think about this. You guess that makes sense. You don't think you've ever been that intoxicated, and someone that far-gone probably wouldn't be making much sense at all. You must've just thrown some weird fit and been probably very annoying to deal with. Your stomach churns with embarrassment. Of course, he could be fudging the truth, telling you what you want to hear. But you don't entertain that thought for more than even a second because, no. Just no. You don't want to think about this anymore, and you don't want to keep questioning your friends. 

“So… that’s all?” You say finally, not investigating the subject further to your Dave's relief.

There’s another quick silence, but Dave cuts it off before it can get too hesitant. “Yep.”

“Oh. Well that’s not so bad… I mean, still embarrassing, but… better than I thought.” You comment. 

Dave watches your expression carefully. “What did you think you said?”

Of course, he knows what you thought you said. They both do. Because you did say it. But Dave figured that maybe things would be better if you didn’t know about it. If anything, you should get the dignity of getting to confess sober. Knowing you, if you found out that you said you loved them while blackout drunk, you’d probably feel super embarrassed and awkward around them all the time. And… they still hadn’t talked about how they feel about it. If anything, this morning has made things more awkward between the two that were actually dating. Before coming up stairs, they were basically avoiding the topic, and decided to just check on you instead.

“Uh…” You continue to stare at your ceiling, and you play with your hands. You try to think of how you should respond for a moment. “I don’t know… you can say a lot of crazy things when you’re drunk. Even if I had said something weird, it could’ve been totally untrue or random. But I still wanted to know.” You force a laugh a little.

Now Dave’s wondering if he had told you, if you would’ve played it off as untrue or owned up to it.

Karkat on the other hand is still confused (and a little pissed) as to why Dave is even lying to you right now. If you had bothered to look over, you'd catch the look he's giving Dave as if he's trying to turn him to damn stone. He thought you did deserve to know, since he would most definitely want to be told if he said some embarrassing shit if he was in your situation. But he doesn’t dare say anything, since you already seemed to feel better about the situation.

…

Actually… fuck that, he thinks.

“[Y/n]. That’s not the only thing you said.” He says suddenly and your body goes still and cold. You look over at him, confused.

“You also…” Karkat slows his sentence as Dave starts to shake his head at him from behind you, signaling to stop with his hands. He seems to consider it for a second, and then rolls his eyes, annoyed. “You said that you were upset about us spending less time with you. And something about being the 'third wheel' or whatever. You… said you felt left out.“ He finishes slowly, kind of feeling a bit guilty at the sentence. 

Not the whole truth, but still enough to make Karkat feel better about the situation. If you were to read into it, you could probably assume other things you might’ve said that no one wants to mention. However, you have no desire to do that, so you take his word for it, pushing down your doubts.

"Oh..” You say again. “Okay.”

“Okay?” They both say in unison, again

“(Man we gotta stop doing that.)” Dave whispers.

“Yeah! I mean… It’s true. I have felt pretty left out and kinda lonely lately. Probably why I go out with so many people.” You smile slightly, looking down at your lap again. “You guys are just… so cute… together! So… I don’t know. I don’t want to bother you guys to spend time with me. I try to give you your space.”

“Dude if we didn’t like spending time with you, we all wouldn't all be stuffed in this house together. We don't need you to be gone every other night just to give us some space.” Dave reassures you.

“I’m pretty sure it’s more than that, dave.” Karkat interjects. You both look over at him curiously. “It's not that they're going out to give us space. They’re saying they don’t like feeling alone when they’re trying to give us space. So they’re trying to distract themselves while looking for their own matesprit.”

He stops for a second to make eye contact with you, giving you a kind of sympathetic expression. "[Y/n], you've just been feeling lonely, right? Like you have to stay on the sidelines or something." Even though it was a question, he continues, guiltily shifting his gaze to the floor in between his feet. "And I'm sorry. I know we're both your moirails technically, but I'm the only actual troll here, I shouldn't make mistakes like that. You shouldn't have had to feel that way this whole time. I was an idiot for that."

Your heart tugs and you get the immediate urge to lunge at him and hold him the second you watch his ears droop and hear the guilty tone in his voice. You definitely don't want him feeling like this is his fault at all. 

"Karkat..." You start, moving to him and placing a gentle hand on his knee. He looks at your hand, and then up at you with just about the cutest face you think you've ever seen. It's literally just his face. But his sad-puppy expression, the ears, the close proximity. You find yourself examining his features in a familiar way from the last night that you can't remember. You feel your face heating up, and immediately remind yourself of what you were just about to say. 

"You're not at fault for this. Neither of you are it's..." You trail off for a moment. Is Karkat blushing at you right now? He never does that, or not like this at least. This feels dif- Nope, shaking that off. Not thinking about that. You turn your chair to be facing both of them again. Dave is leaning back now slightly with his arms rested behind him, staring at you two with his head leaning down on his shoulder. 

"I want to say it's my fault, but... This is just how it is, right? I mean our whole dynamic was bound to get fucked up when you guys started dating. We never even talked about how this screwed our whole moirail quadrant deal." You say, addressing the situation as a whole instead of comforting Karkat like you wanted to. Normally it's not a problem, but it gets so awkward like that now when your try. This is exactly what you're talking about. 

"Yeah well, wasn't our quadrant thing kinda fucked from the start? I don't think it usually works like that for trolls, right?" Dave comments, turning to Karkat at that last part who nods. 

"Yeah we made a lot of exceptions and our own rules basically. This definitely wouldn't be an issue on Alternia." Karkat agrees. "But, you're right. We really should have talked this shit out. I can't be upset with the way you reacted or how this ended up. I get it." 

You sigh, leaning back in your chair a bit like a deflating ballon. "So, what now?" You ask quietly.

 Dave sits up completely, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. Well. We can talk about all the quadrant stuff and get that figured out later today. Or this week. However long we need." He starts and you nod. "But for now I just want to make sure you're good... You good?"

You smile, breathing out your nose in a fond gesture. "Yeah, I'm good. We'll figure this out, right? " You say and look to Karkat as well, who nods back at you, if not somewhat sadly. He must still feel guilty.

"Right. And earlier I was just saying, you don't have to worry that much about giving us space. We probably need it sometimes, but if you're feeling lonely you can always come chill with us. I mean we'll figure this all out later, I said that already but. We care about you, man. Like, a stupid amount. Y'know Karkat almost went into cardiac arrest from worry waiting for you last night?"

"I DID NOT!! AND YOU WERE WORRIED TOO NOOKWAD!" He shouts back indignantly. Dave holds up his hands in defense and you laugh.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry for worrying you guys, by the way." You say before Dave can whip out some witty response to what Karkat said because you know he was about to.

"It's cool. But... Maybe chill with the alcohol? Shits starting to fuck you up and it's painful to watch. Reminds me of Rose for that short time on the meteor, but like, now add way more dangerous possible scenarios because we're not forced in one building together with a population of like ten teenagers anymore."

You feel your face heat up again thinking about it. Yeah, it has been kind of shameful. It started off as just innocent fun, but it's gotten pretty out of hand. You nod slowly. “Right. Yeah, I’m definitely quitting that shit today.”

“Also. Maybe take a break from searching for a matesprite?? You can definitely find someone worthy of that quadrant without literally hunting them down. That shit never works.” Karkat adds.

You laugh a little, nodding again. “Yeah. That too. I probably need a break after this anyways.”

The atmosphere of the room seems to calm now, leaving you all pretty chill. You still have a lot to figure out and discuss, but this is a good start. It feels nice to have even a little bit of what you've been agonizing about off your shoulders.

“Damn this really did turn into an intervention.” Dave says, leaning back on his hands again. You laugh in response.

“I vote we have one for you next. I’ll start planning the 'Asshole video game addict' intervention now .“ Karkat says, gesturing to Dave.

Dave cracks a smile and you join in. "I’m down! Let’s invite more people though. Make it a party.” You add on.

“Oh please. You know that’d just encourage him. He’d start challenging everyone that walks through the fucking door.”

"Okay, actually, scratch the intervention. Let's just hold a smash-off in the living room!" Dave says, actually sounding excited about this.

"Don't say it like that." Karkat groans. 

"Seriously?" You muse to him, pretty entertained at the idea.

"Shit, yeah. That'd give us an excuse to catch up with friends and shit. After we figure all this shit out I mean."

"How did we get here???" Karkat interjects, bewildered at how his boyfriend is now serious about this party.

All three of you chuckling now, start to banter back and forth. After a while of goofing around, it feels like the awkward air that’d been lingering for a while finally lifts completely. Everything’s back to normal.

Well, for the most part.

You get up as Dave and Karkat are going back and forth with each other now about something so off-topic to what you were just discussing. You throw yourself onto the bed next to Dave, landing face first into the covers. 

"Good?" Dave asks from next to you and you nod into the bedding. You then roll onto your back to look up at him again.

"I guess now I just have to make a public statement. And maybe call a few people.” You say, though you don't seems quite as bothered about it anymore.

“You don't have to do anything. Didn't you say yesterday you don't owe anyone any explanations?” Daves asks in more of a teasing sense.

“Yes, but I get the feeling I’ll have a lot less fans by the time my album comes out if I don’t say something. And I’m not gonna make poor Kanaya and the others worry about me.” You answer.

“So you're gonna start working on that album now?” He asks and you nod with a smile.

“Yeah! It’ll be a good distraction, I guess. I’ve been procrastinating big time.” You look over at Dave, and your eyes light up a little. “And yknoooow, I could still be open for some features! With maybe a rapper? Someone who writes their own raps all the time, but refuses to ever release them officially? Hmm???”

“Hey, that sounds so awesome. Tell me if you find someone like that.” He says back flatly, staring at you with a now blank expression. Damnit. 

“C'monnnn. Dave a song with you and me would fucking bang!” You plead.

“Nah. You know having my shit professionally produced is not my jam.” He responds.

“Yes, we’ve discussed that and I know Rose already psychoanalyzed you as to why. But I’m still gonna get you in on it. One of these days.” You say and narrow your eyes at him

“Good luck with that.” He replies.

“Dave, you’re gonna have to stop being a self-conscious wriggler about it one day. You know you want to do it.” Karkat accuses him from where he still is on the chair next to your desk.

“Dude! I'm not self-conscious, I just-” He starts, but both you and Karkat stare at him knowingly, clearly not believing a thing he’s about to say. He frowns at this and then seems to consider something for a moment.

“… You know what. Fuck it. If it'll get you two to stop calling me a baby and shit about it then. What the hell. I'll do the damn thing.” He concludes, finally giving in. You stare at him in disbelief and then absolutely beam, lifting yourself up off the bed. Karkat smiles slightly, admiring the both of you.

"Really?!" You ask excitedly.

“Yeah... what could go wrong? Right?” He says and definitely doesn’t sound very convinced as he tries to justify the decision, but you know it'll be fine. You’ll help him and it’ll be so fun. You just know it.

You throw yourself at him, pulling him into a hug. He almost falls backwards at the impact.

“Thank you!! Oh my god this is gonna be so good. I can’t wait.” You say while still holding him tight. He smiles, going to hug you back, despite his indifferent feelings about what he just agreed to.

“Karkat get over here!” You shout, looking back at him.

“Why? Im not involved in this.” He says, crossing his arms.

“Like fuck you’re not! You can uh.. Hey! Your boyfriend's gonna need a manager, right?” You muse and grin at him.

“Fuck no.” He spats immediately.

“C'mon dude. Be my manager.” Dave chimes in, grinning too now. 

“I'D RATHER DIE!!” He shouts.

“OH JUST COME HUG US!!” You shout back.

He rolls his eyes, but eventually complies. He joins the two of you in your agreement-hug. So sweet.

And thus, the curtain closes, bringing Chapter 1 to an END.

Kidding, there’s no curtain. This is the end of Chapter 1 though.

See ya.

[CH 2] ==>

[wromwood]

Heyyy, it’s been a while, but we’re back with a new episode of CBS Ghosts. Let’s hear what mysteries may be explained in “Trevor’s Pants.”

- We open in the New York Financial District in the year 2000. Trevor’s got a new suit and is showing it off. He gives this young looking guy in the office, Pinkus, (how did he earn that name?) a bottle of something called Chekhov Chill and everyone makes him chug it. How is this proper workplace behavior? (I know that this type of Wall Street workplace is common in media, but COME ON)

I wonder if the drink will be a Chekhov’s gun. It’s named and set up so obviously.

- Huh. Trevor takes them to Woodstone because his family is in Europe, so it’s available. This must establish that he is part of the Woodstone family, even though his last name isn’t Woodstone. (I believe it’s Lefkowitz, which also implies he’s Jewish, which would fit his casual use of Yiddish words.)

- Hey, we finally get some word back from that watch they took off Hettie’s husband’s corpse. I forget that this didn’t immediately get resolved. They STILL need to make a “deal” on it.

- Thor had an emotional therapy session (through Sam) the other day. The therapist thinks he should tell Flower how he feels, but he’s scared. I am so glad we’re revisiting this, and that these events are having effects on the characters. Good continuity.

- Ari, the person buying the watch arrives. He actually appears familiar to the ghosts, and Trevor reveals he’s Ari Cantor, one of his workplace buddies. They were like best friends, and he was there the night Trevor died. I like how this show is good at tying the ghosts’ pasts to the present situations. I don’t remember it ever feeling contrived. Or if it ever did, I never minded.

- Apparently, David Woodstone, Hettie’s great great great grandson, owned the house when Trevor was alive. He was also Sam’s uncle.

- OK, so it looks like the rules of the Chekhov Chills include this: you have to surprise people with Chekhov Chills, which forces them to chug it. However, if you call the surprise, the person who sets it up has to chug it.

- Oh no, they’re gonna make Pinkus go through some kinda hazing because of his promotion. Trevor actually questions the hazing and suggests not doing it, but the others pressure him into not questioning and breaking the “bro code.” Trevor quickly takes it back and is the first to take drugs from the drug drawer, which is full of dangerously colorful pills.

Man, I’m actually retroactively forgiving the show for setting up Trevor like they did in the first episodes. He was insufferable to start with because he only acted like the sleazy horny Wall Street bro, but the show is revealing that he actually has a heart, and that it may have been his peers and social life that brought out the bad behavior. It doesn’t EXCUSE everything he’s said and done, but it shows that there’s legit a good guy in him.

Anyway, they all take drugs and two hours later, Trevor’s heart explodes. Trevor says he doesn’t have pants on because he had sex with a hot limo driver and died 15 minutes afterwards.

- Thor confronts Flower about the moment she confessed her feelings for him and then retracted it. Flower says she’s used to always having a “buffer” to keep things not intense. She was always in throuples when she was alive. Thor suggests that they get a buffer. But who will be the third? Shenanigans ensue! Fortunately, the shenanigans are fun and don’t take too much time away from the A plot.

- Trevor asks Sam to bring him up in conversation with Ari. Ari is actually reluctant to mention Trevor, and acts like he can’t really remember him. Sam brings up the Pinkus promotion party, and Ari gets antsy and leaves to make a phone call. Man, this show has definitely gotten me invested in these characters, because I’m legit excited about this mystery.

- Hamilton pretended not to know Isaac at a party once, then got his name wrong for years after.

- Thor and Flower interview all the other ghosts to see if they’d be a good third. These are pretty fun, as Thor and Flower don’t reveal why these interviews are happening. Sasappis catches on that it’s a sex thing and says “I’m out”. Pete, of course, shows that he would be a perfect third because he’s super caring and giving. Which I think is cute.

- Hettie and Alberta listen in on Ari’s phone call and see that he’s freaking out about getting grilled about Trevor. He specifically asks the other person if they “snitched” about that night. Trevor, of course, doesn’t know what Ari means. Trevor only knows that he took some bad pills, had sex, then died.

Sasappis then reveals that Ari betrayed him and broke the bro code. Trevor had just died and was a confused ghost. Ari and the others start shouting that Trevor’s dead, so the ghosts leave the room to explain things to Trevor. Sasappis, however, stayed behind to watch the livings deal with this. The "bros” didn’t even TRY to help Trevor or call 911 because they were FULL of drugs. Ari is the one who suggested weighing the body and dumping it in the lake.

Even though Trevor was already dead at this point, this is so sad to see, especially since Trevor’s good side was glimpsed earlier. It’s obvious how much Trevor holds his bros in high regard, and this only becomes clearer later on.

- Trevor is reluctant to be mad at his bros because he says he would’ve done the same. But Sasappis says he wouldn’t have, because he also knows the TRUE story of how he lost his pants. Trevor never even had SEX with the limo driver.

Pinkus had to do the “Run of Fun”, which involves going into the city with only a T shirt on and no money. The other bros merely laugh at him and joke that he might catch hypothermia. Trevor, however, takes pity on him. He follows Pinkus to the kitchen, gives him his money clip for a cab, then gives him his new pants and boxers. Trevor says he’ll make up a brilliant excuse, hence the cab driver lie.

Just like Hettie and Sam, I’m surprised and proud at how good of a person Trevor has revealed himself to be. I’m especially happy because Trevor had gone through this hazing himself. He mentions having gone through the “Run of Fun” back when he got promoted. And yet he STILL suggested stopping the hazing earlier, and he still helps Pinkus out. As someone who detests the idea of hazing with all my heart, Trevor might have just entirely won me over in this episode alone.

- Trevor is devastated to think he never had any bros at all. Maybe his whole life is a lie. However, he still doesn’t want to ruin the bros’ lives. That’s how much they mean to him, and that’s how much he empathizes with them, having been a part of that social circle. He’s got those complicated feelings, showing he’s more than a 2D Wall Street stereotype. So proud of him.

- Anyway, Pete rejects his new position as the third. Flower later suggests a compromise: Crash’s body! (The headless ghost body that we haven’t seen in what feels like YEARS) She says it’s a two-and-a-half solution.

Thor is not fine with this, as he realizes that Flower needs more time to be comfortable, and he can wait for that. He only met Flower 50 years ago, but he’s already lived for thousands of years. Flower is worth the wait, no matter how long it takes.

HELL YEAH CHARACTER DYNAMICS. CBS is bringing its A game now.

- Aw, Isaac has a cute line. Trevor is surrounded by most of the other ghosts, who comfort him, and Isaac says “You have bros, and we are they.”

- Sasappis thinks up a properly douchey way to get back at Ari. Ari goes to check the secret drug drawer. There, waiting for him, is a bottle of Chekhov Chills and a note that says “I know what you did. - T-Money”.

Ari is frightened and Trevor is thrilled. Finally, Trevor gets to shout “You just got chilled. Boom!” Trevor even watches Ari chug the bottle and cheers “Chug! Chug! Chug!” alongside the other ghosts.

- Ari agrees to pay double what Sam and Jay are asking for the watch, and they’ll never speak of it again. So money trouble is officially solved! ... For now, at least.

And that was “Trevor’s Pants”! Man, we’re really coming back from the break strong. Now to wait two weeks for an episode that apparently has ANOTHER new ghost at Woodstone Manor. They’re really coming out of the woodwork here at Woodstone, aren’t they?

[luke-patterson-owns-my-soul]

Kiss Me

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Title: Kiss Me

Words: 1593

Summary: Charlie’s back from Hawaii and providing social media with all the content.

Requested: No. I had to write this after that video of Charlie singing in the bath tub…

TW: Implications of sexual intercourse, mostly the reader getting frustrated by Charlie being Charlie.

Author’s notes: I just wanted to write a bit of domesticity between Charlie and the reader, and thanks to all the content we got from him the other day, this kinda just fell into place. I hope you like it. - also, a little shout out to @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ because she’s been giving us some AMAZING fic content, and she isn’t feeling to great today. I hope this helps a little, Nele.

Three weeks without being able to see Charlie in the flesh had been hard. Yeah, he’d posted photos and videos while he’d been away in Hawaii with his castmates and Kenny, but it wasn’t the same. Neither were the intimate FaceTime calls the two of you shared pretty much daily. Nothing beat being able to wrap your arms around him, to feel the warmth of his skin against yours, to smell the scent that was intrinsically him. Yeah, you’d missed him like crazy.

Checking your watch, again, before checking the arrivals board you leaned up against the wall behind you waiting for his flight to disembark the plane and make their way through to the arrivals lounge. You scrolled through your Instagram feed, checking out what people had been tagging your boyfriend in, amazed by the talent of his fans. More than anything, you wanted to share them, but as no one knew about you, you couldn’t. It was a good thing you ran a semi-popular fan account that you could do it all from, and your story was full of amazing artwork and song covers. As far as your followers knew, you were just another fangirl.

You were so engrossed in the pictures on the screen in front of you, you didn’t hear Charlie approaching you, didn’t know he was right in front of you until grabbed you by the waist, making you squeal in shock and almost drop your phone.

“Oh my God, Charlie. You scared me.” You laughed, flinging your arms around his neck, breathing him in. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but my mom taught me that lying makes my nose grow and my tongue fall out. And I don’t think you’d want that.” He teased after placing a quick kiss on your lips.

“Well, no. But it would be quieter around the apartment.” Your response made him pull away and pout. “What? Am I lying?”

“I thought you loved me.” If he hadn’t been grinning like the loveable idiot he was, you would have believed his offended tone of voice was real.

“Oh, you know I adore you. Shall we go home?” as you slide your phone into your pocket, you take hold of his hand and lead him out to the parking lot where his car is parked. “Do you want to drive, or shall I?”

“You, please.” You know he’s not the most confident of flyers, so you understand his need to chill for a while before he’s at full Gillespie – a term you coined not long after the two of you met and he was his usual ‘constant overdrive’ self. He was always moving, doing something with his hands, or exploring. Charlie Gillespie didn’t do bored or sitting still very well.

Once you’re back at the apartment you share Charlie sets about unpacking his case, dumping his clothes in the washer straight away. It always strikes you how domestic he is. You’re not the best at remembering to do stuff, but he always manages to catch what you miss.

“Have you got to go to work?” he asks you as he leans up against the counter while you prepare some food for the two of you. You work at a TV studio, but the show you work on is on a break so your hours are more flexible than they would be normally.

“No, I’m all yours for a couple of days.” Your words make him grin before he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss.

Your kiss had led to more of an intimate reunion which led you both to your bedroom for most of the day. By the time you emerged, it was almost dark outside and the food you’d been preparing needed to be tossed in the trash. You couldn’t complain though because you’d been able to show Charlie just how much you’d missed him.

___________________________

After the insanity that was Charlie’s delivery from and subsequent live with Madison’s dad, you now had a billboard poster partially unfolded in your bedroom. Naturally, because he was often a child in an adult’s body, Charlie had been like a kid at Christmas when he’d been allowed to open the box. Off camera, he’d been able to slide the parcel that had been included with your name on – Mr. Reyes had so kindly included a hoodie for you which you were now wearing while you stared at the space around you in horror.

“Charlie, babe. Did you have to open it in here? You heard what he said, it took up their entire back yard. Our bedroom is like a shoebox.”

“Yeah, I kinda got carried away. Sorry.” Leaning over, so he wouldn’t rip the poster, he planted a kiss on your lips.

“Well, don’t expect me to help you fold it back up.” With a grin, you turned on your heel and flounced out of the room to post screenshots from the live to your fan account. Only Charlie knew about it and had followed you early on. Eventually, after hearing him swearing and falling over, you went in and helped him fold the damn thing up. It took a ridiculous amount of time, but it was soon back in the box ready to be transported to Canada in Charlie’s car when the both of you went back for Christmas.

Exhausted, you flopped onto the couch and decided to order in some food rather than cook. But first, you took a sweaty selfie and sent it to Madison.

I love your dad, but please don’t let him send us anymore billboard posters. It took two hours to get it back in the damn box.

Her reply was instant.

Dad never expected him to unfold the thing. Love to you both. She wasn’t wrong. Only the man you adored would have ever done that, and live on the internet too. Shaking your head, you ordered pizza.

“Babe, I need a favor.” Charlie spoke as he tidied up the pizza boxes and soda cans from your dinner, making you groan. You were still exhausted, and now a little bloated. All you wanted to do was to slouch and watch a movie, curled up in Charlie’s arms.

“What?”

“Help me set up my phone in the bathroom.” That got your attention.

“Er… why?”

He scratched at the back of his head, a sheepish look on his beautiful face that was covered in the stubble you adored.

“I want to do a couple of videos.”

“And you have to do it now? Haven’t you done enough today?” you close your eyes as you lean your head on the back of the couch. You sense Charlie standing behind you, and when you open your eyes again, he’s looking down at you, the puppy dog eyes in force. Even upside down, he knows what they do to you. “I hate you, did you know that?” you tell him affectionately. With a grin, he bends over and captures your lips in a searing kiss.

“I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” With a chuckle, he runs his jaw along yours, knowing the roughness of his stubble is a huge turn on for you.

“Yes, yes you will.” You pull away and stand up. The sooner you get this done, the sooner the two of you can snuggle, and the sooner you can claim your owed favor.

Grabbing the car keys from the sideboard, you head down to the car to get the phone holder. You figure the suction cup works on the car’s windscreen, so should work on the glass screen. When you get back into the apartment, Charlie’s changed clothes and has his guitar in his hand.

“Remind me why you can’t do this from the couch?” you ask, walking into the bathroom. It’s tiny and you know Charlie’s going to regret his decision, but when he mumbles about acoustics you keep your mouth shut. Trying to change his mind when it’s made up is nigh on impossible.

You manage to secure the phone holder to the shower screen you’d cleaned that morning, pull it across the tub, and leave the small space.

“All ready for you, maestro.” You call out as you enter the lounge. Charlie stands up, kisses you and disappears into the bathroom. You fully plan on putting the TV on, choosing a random Hallmark Christmas movie to watch, and wait for him to finish, but when you hear his clear voice singing what he knows is one of your favorite Ed Sheeran songs, you can help but go and stand at the end of the tub and watch him morph from Charlie your doofus boyfriend to Charlie the star.

You watch him, with a smile on your face, as he records a video for his Instagram reel, messing it up a couple of times and having to restart a few times, making you laugh.

“If you can’t be quiet, you’re gonna have to leave.” He scolds you without any anger in his voice.

“I’ll behave. For now.” You wink at him as he starts to record again. Once he’s done, he says he wants to do one more, slightly longer for his Tiktok account.

“Last try, because my leg’s falling asleep.” He speaks into the camera once it’s recording.

I’m in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

Wanna be loved, wanna be loved,

Wanna be loved, yeah

As he sings, he looks up, catching your eye and smiling. In that moment, you fall in love with him all over again.

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: - if you want to be added, please send me an ask, just in case I happen to miss any comments

@dream-a-little-bigger-x​​ @calamitykaty​​ @crybabyddl​​ @xplrreylo​​ @morganayennefertyrell​​ @lovesanimals​​ @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve​​ @echocharm17618​​ @kinda-really-lost​ @n0wornever​ @all-in-fangirl​ @5sosmukefan​

[carpisuns]

do you ever get discouraged by social media? like the fact that a lot of interactions can never go beyond the surface level since you won't get to meet a lot of people irl or the fact that numbers seem to matter so much to how others perceive you? hope this isn't too heavy, just curious to hear your thoughts

hey, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this! but yes, i definitely know what you mean. social media can be a strange and disheartening space to be in because it's all about perception and not often about truly knowing someone. we all kind of have a version of ourselves that we put out there for the world to see, and it's not necessarily a completely false image, but it's also not the full picture, you know? and in a fandom space like this one, it's mostly built around a single interest or group of interest, which is great for surface-level bonding with people but not necessarily for a deeper relationship. so it can feel hard to build truly meaningful friendships sometimes.

i've been fortunate tho to meet some amazing people online that i now consider some of my dearest friends and closest confidants. it started with bonding over a shared interest, but then we found that we had more in common and started sharing things outside of that one interest and talking about our lives and supporting each other in both our hard times and good times. i feel really blessed and lucky to have these friends in my life, whether we ever get the chance to meet in person or not.

i'm not sure if you're actually looking for advice about this, but if you are, mine would be to just be kind and positive and enjoy interacting with people, and that may naturally lead to deeper friendship. that's how it's worked for me, at least. kinda depends on what your vibe is and how you prefer to interact online but i've made friends by sending asks/messages to people to let them know how much I enjoy their work and by hanging out in discord servers to chat about fandom stuff as well as general-interest stuff. might be a good place to start!

and as for numbers, yeah, that can be frustrating too! i'll be totally honest—i used to care way too much about numbers. at one point it lowkey became an obsession for me 😩 i'd be constantly checking to see how many followers i had and how much attention my posts were getting and i got too invested in watching the numbers go up and too frustrated when they would stagnate and most of all just too focused on comparing my following with other people's. it was especially bad on instagram bc everyone's follower count is on public display and art tends to get a lot more attention there, so i grew way faster and i also watched other people grow at like breakneck speed and leave me in the dust and i would get jealous,,,woof.

but there came a point when i realized that my focus on numbers was not healthy or enjoyable for me and it was making my fandom experience stressful and bitter rather than fun and chill. so i took a little break for a few weeks and really tried to gain some perspective with it all and it helped loads!! i mean i won't say i don't care about numbers at all anymore haha but they definitely don't have the same hold on me. my growth both here and on instagram has slowed down a lot but i honestly don't mind at all and actually may find that preferable haha. idk im just satisfied and comfortable where i am and what i find most fulfilling in fandom is my friendships and my interactions with other fans, not really the individual attention that I get. it's been nice to take the pressure off myself and not worry about performance and instead just kinda vibe lol. like i used to stress when I didn't post new art for a week, but now i just make stuff when i want to and let myself take my time and post when i'm ready instead of rushing out of some self-imposed sense of obligation.

i totally get people's desire to grow a bigger platform, especially creators who have professional ambitions, and it's awesome to celebrate with them when they hit milestones. but i hope that no matter where any of us are, we remember that our worth is not determined by our online following. and also that we are all just regular people with blogs! I think there's a tendency to treat bigger names in the fandom as like pseudo-celebrities or something (i've definitely been guilty of that ), but at the end of the day we're all just big nerds who like talking about a cartoon lol. it's nice when we can all just support each other and share content and discuss ideas and stuff without making people feel unduly pressured bc their following (like putting them on a pedestal, demanding a greater output of content, etc.) or making them feel lesser because of their lack of one. fandom is about community, not competition, and your contributions are valuable even if they get less attention that someone else's!

ok i feel like i've just rambled a lot, sorry lol idk if any of this was actually meaningful/helpful to you but i wish you the best and hope you feel less discouraged about this! 💜

[sneezefiction]

could i have headcanons for oikawa, kenma, noya and tanaka for how they’d react if their s/o told them she wanted to break up as a joke ? thank you 🥺🥺🥺

Oikawa, Kenma, Nishinoya, and Tanaka x Reader - Fake Break Up Headcanons

a/n: have some goofy headcanons w/ some of the best boys, babe <3333 i hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!!

warnings: slight language

total wc: 1080

---

Oikawa

there are times when Oikawa just won’t give you the attention you need

yeah, he’s a sweet boyfriend and all, but between volleyball practice, appeasing fangirls, and his social media platforms, he doesn’t have much allotted time for only the two of you

while trying to figure out how to garner some of Oikawa’s focus, a lightbulb goes off in your head. 

you’re sure you’ve seen a TikTok or Youtube video of people breaking up with their s/o as a joke… 

so while Oikawa is distracted by some form of social media, scrolling mindlessly on the couch, you’re tilting your phone camera up to video this moment

you come sit at the edge of the couch and utter some of the most terrifying words ever spoken

“Tooru, we need to talk.”

his head shoots up, body following with it

“What’s wrong, baby?” his eyes are wide and he’s unquestionably nervous

“I think we should break up.” you’re doing all you can to keep a straight face, waiting for a goofy reaction

but right as the words leave your lips, you feel instant regret

the most shocked expression adorns his features and you swear you can already see tears welling up in his eyes

“Wait, wait, wait it’s a joke I’m sorry! Look there’s a camera and everything, Tooru, I’m sorry!” you bounce forward, gathering him in your arms

you finally just let him know that you’ve been jealous and frustrated (baby needs attention)

he literally makes you promise to never prank him again, bc he insists “his whole heart shattered” and that “it was an act of cruelty”

y’all cuddle all night bc he can’t let you go after that scare

Kenma

ok so Kuroo has been trying to get a new reaction out of Kenma for the past 2 weeks

and nothing is working at all

so him, being his true scheming self, asks you to get involved

you accept bc he paid you you’re curious too and ask him what you need to do

“Just… y’know, break up with him or something?” he suggests nonchalantly

“What the hell, Kuroo!” your jaw dropping at his absurd request

“Bro, I already paid you! No take-backs.” he shrugs “Also, you gotta record it and send it to me.”

when you get home you feel like such a sucker for agreeing to it, but you’d rather not owe Kuroo any favors so you get everything set up as quietly as possible

Kenma, in his usual gaming position tucked under a blanket on your shared bed, scoots over to let you in, but you seat yourself at the edge instead

“Kenma…” wow you feel weird, “I uhm. I don’t think this is working out between us.” you’re cringing at yourself

you’re basically hoping he’ll make a weird face so that you can turn off the camera and explain everything to him quickly

eyes still glued to his game, Kenma simply states, “Kuroo put you up to this, babe.”

“I’m sorry plea- wait what, how’d you know?” you stutter out, confused

“He’s been doing weird-ass stuff for a long time, y/n.” he shrugs

“...okay… tell me more?” your focus completely shifting to storytime with Kenma

now you know all about Kuroo’s strange history with your boyfriend… and it’s all recorded, right there, on your phone 

Noya

it started off with a seemingly harmless game of truth or dare w/ the Karasuno boys, including your boyfriend, Nishinoya

you’d agreed to go along with it because they promised it would be chill nothing is ever chill w/ these kids, i s2g

however, you’ve already used up your maximum number of “truths” so you’re forced to pick dare for this turn

suddenly all the boys, except Nishinoya, are huddled together

you two just stare at each other with great confusion

simultaneously, all the boys turn around, making you jump, and say

“Nishinoya, get out.”

well ok this is weird

once he leaves, and may i say very reluctantly, you’re faced with the most painful of dares

“Y/n, the council has decided. For your dare, you must fake break up with Nishinoya later this week.”

fools. absolute idiots. but who are you to deny the council of boys?

so when the dreaded day comes, you facetime the boys in, leaving them on mute on your kitchen countertop and make your way up to Noya who’s actively attempting to make dinner

so you begin, “Nishinoya I… I just, uhm…”

“Yes, baby what is it?” his eyes dazzle when they meet yours

lmao you can’t, he just looks too excited to see you and you know for a fact his funky, lil heart would break

“I, uh… just wanted a hug actually.” 

“Why didn’t you just say so!” he responds, a grin stretching across his bright face, squeezing the absolute life out of you

“It was… supposed to be a dare from the boys the other day, but-” you try to explain

“Y’all’s dares are lame as hell.” Noya cuts you off finally realizing their presence on the counter, still pressed up against your body

baby had no idea

the council is displeased… and a little jealous

Tanaka

this guy has been on his Xbox all damn day

and it’s starting to wear on you

all the yelling, the thundering laughter, and weird code words were interrupting your reading, thinking, and ruining the cozy, weekend vibes

you’ve tried everything so far:

you made him his favorite meal? nothing. asked him to go out with you tonight? “Let’s do it tomorrow babe.” telling him to be a little quieter? somehow he managed to increase in volume.

so you text Kiyoko and ask her what she would do

homegirl literally suggested you break up with him, so that’s a no-go…

but maybe you could just… threaten it kinda? your babe can take a joke and it might finally get him to calm down

so you walk over to him and loudly exclaim,

“I swear if you don’t stop obsessing over whatever it is you’re playing, I’m just gonna leave.” trying your hardest to sound coldhearted

Tanaka yanks his headphones off and he’s on his feet, horrified

and now you’re just laughing, your sputtering boyfriend unsure of your contrasting words and emotions

“Sorry babe, you’re just… so loud. And I kinda miss you.” you hold out your arms, trying to draw him toward you

“Not funny!” now you’ve done it.

he’s gonna pout for a while and you’ll be the one to deal with it

but... if you give him a kiss and a real apology, he’ll snap out of it real fast

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Group 4 Adult hc’s please 😭 they’re all precious! Thank you for loving Group 4

YES OMG! I love this! And you’re so right 😭 They are so precious and I adore them 💜

WAIT. I wasn’t sure if you meant individual hc’s or ones of them all together 😭 If I messed this up, lmk and I’ll do new hc’s!!

Karma Akabane

He’s a distinguished bureaucrat by day, a compete fucking disaster by night

No who am I kidding

He brings chaos no matter what time

Lives to drive his co-workers insane, even if he gets along with them. It’s just a habit of him being around anyone lmao

His apartment is really expensive and nice...except it’s also a fucking mess.

See when he was a kid and lived alone, there was still a maid around. He didn’t live like a slob.

But as an adult with no supervision whatsoever....well, he kinda lets loose. A lot.

Drops his $500 suits right onto his floor, has piles of clothing around, his official government papers are laying everywhere, like Karma, isn’t that illegal??? Lmao

Invites his co-workers out for drinks, or he happily goes along if someone else invites him. Actually makes more of an effort to be social as an adult, surprisingly.

Irritates Terasaka whenever he gets to see him...which is fairly often hehe

Also likes to barge into Group 4’s lives...literally. Like he’ll randomly show up to Nagisa’s classroom, sneak onto Kayano’s film set, invite himself into the nursing home Kanzaki is at and befriend elderly people, etc.

No matter what though, you can’t change Karma lmao. He will go to ridiculous and edgy methods in his job, even snoop on government officials outside of work

You DO NOT want him as an enemy. If any politician crosses him, Terasaka tears up on their behalf. “Just try to survive, man.” “Uh, what?” “You’ll see.”

Competent adult rating: 5/10

Manami Okuda

It’s not surprising of course, but she’s totally dedicated to her work and research. Her loved ones have to remind her to take breaks often.

Her apartment is generally tidy because she’s barely there.

Her work desk space on the other hand...is hella messy lol. She tends to throw papers around in the middle of stuff, and there are a few old food containers or takeout boxes from late night work.

She likes to tie her hair up in a braided bun often, to keep it out of the way. That’s mandatory for lab work anyways.

Dresses in a lot of casual but comfy attire, like blouses, jeans, skirts and boots, etc.

Gets along well with her colleagues, but she still has that habit of being a little reserved. Like she won’t jump right into hanging out with them, only if she’s invited to.

Her communication skills have improved so much omg, let’s all be proud of her <3

She has a pet chameleon!! It’s name is Rutherford, after the chemist lol

Tomohito Sugino

He actually lives by the strictest guidelines out of all of them

Since he’s a professional athlete, he really has to take care of his body and maintain his physique.

So like...a diet focusing on proteins, vitamins, nutrients, lean meats, vegetables, etc. All that good stuff.

And he works out twice a day. Once in the morning, he goes out for a jog as cardio. Then in the evening, he’ll do a more strength-based workout for his core and biceps.

As usual, he is very social and makes friends super easily UwU. When he’s not focusing on work (this is rare) he likes to make plans with people often.

Can’t handle being alone for too long

Gets confused/annoyed by finance matters a lot lmao. Hates filing taxes and doing paperwork, treats it like a chore rather a necessity for adulting

He has a really popular Instagram page actually, given that he’s a well-known baseball player. He posts mostly selfies, pics with friends, workout mirror selfie’s lmao, and of course pics of his dog

She’s a golden Labrador named Kimi, and he adores her so much. She’s a puppy still but she’s very active and loving.

He becomes a really popular meme for his very tired facial expression during a particularly rough game. Sugino takes great pride in this lmao

Credit to @assclass-dump for this amazing idea: Sugino being like Tony Hawke, and literally no one recognizes him outside of his baseball uniform lmaooooo. I love that.

Kaede Kayano

She has her shit together...for the most part

Kayano’s fame as an actress only grows more and more as she gets older. She has a ton of awesome big roles, even internationally.

This is canon: she does her own stunts and she always amazes the entire crew, especially if her co-star is new to meeting her and had no idea.

Kayano tends to not always take care of herself that well though. She exercises and maintains a strong physique daily, but her meals tend to consist of like...a flimsy salad and a pudding cup and that’s it.

Her apartment is pretty taken care of for the most part, especially when she’s filming and only comes back for sleep.

On her off-months though, best believe this girl tries to chill at home for as much as she can lol. She needs that well-deserved rest.

Kayano visits Aguri’s grave once every month. She brings her favorite flowers and gives kind of a life update on everything. She cries every time.

During her lowest moments, she’ll open up the yearbook that Korosensei left for her. She’ll read all his encouraging notes, laugh at the goofy memories they made...

She stays in contact with Kanzaki and Sugino the most. It’s harder with Karma and Okuda who have very demanding jobs too...and Nagisa who is hyper-focused on teaching

Gets involved in a couple dating scandals and such because the media is bored and nosy. But she shuts that shit down so fast and ruthlessly.

Yukiko Kanzaki

Adulting definitely comes the easiest for her, out of all of them

At the residence care facility she works at, she’s known for being the chillest and prettiest nurse

Bonds with most of her patients very easily. She especially has a sweet spot for elderly women, since they remind her of her beloved grandmother

She also had learned to be more open and comfortable with expressing herself. Unlike her junior high self, she isn’t envied or disliked or treated as an idol.

She actively communicates with her co-workers and has become better at making connections.

In true Kanzaki fashion, she absolutely will speak out if an injustice happens near her, and this sadly can be common in elderly care homes.

She doesn’t tolerate mistreatment at all. She voices her concerns and objections in her usual classy way, but if nothing changes, she’ll be persistent and more aggressive.

Kanzaki lives in a fairly modest apartment not too far from work. She walks every morning to get fresh air and enjoy being outside. She also stops by a cafe for breakfast and brings something for a co-worker she’s especially close to.

Even though her family could afford to get something way nicer and more expensive, Kanzaki insisted they don’t. She wants to work hard and achieve things through effort.

Besides she’s always been curious about a more humble lifestyle. She finds that she actually enjoys it immensely.

Nagisa Shiota

Hey hey hey, it’s our favorite new teacher <3

Seriously Nagisa is super dedicated to his job. He spends a good portion of his free time making more plans and ideas for future lessons.

He’s also just...such a spectacular teacher.

No matter how difficult his students may be, he never treats them like they’re problems. He always gives them a lot of kindness and respect, which sadly they don’t get a lot from others.

Disciplines in a really good way, like he’ll correct them but won’t sound condescending. He doesn’t sugarcoat, he’ll be honest but absolutely will give new chances.

Also can be totally fun and goofy if the time calls for it. Doesn’t want his students to ever fear him or feel like he’s unapproachable.

Makes learning to be fun and creative, also connects with each student one-on-one for sure.

He lives in a super tiny apartment. That teacher salary bro 😔

Takes a train everyday for a short commute to get to work.

His apartment also is prone to being littered around with a bunch of teaching stuff until he gets to organizing it.

Is generally very liked by his colleagues! Some of them don’t really agree with his teaching style and think he’s too lenient, Nagisa doesn’t pay them mind.

Can cook really well but is prone to buying convenience store meals often, because of his schedule.

Keeps a photo of 3-E on his nightstand.

[lochtayboatsong]

The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend.  I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?”  It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since.  I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.  

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen.  The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now.  But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.  

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song.  It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it.  Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone.  Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story.  Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back.  Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene.  Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about.  First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood.  The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad.  (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.)  One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time.  Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it.  After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time.  Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’”  And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son.  Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits.  LOVE IT.  Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.”  Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again.  It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.”  Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus.  If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus. 

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song.  Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show.  The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one.  Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave.  It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this.  But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.  

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome.  The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them.  Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show.  This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool.  Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it.  The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc.  Love it.  And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark.  I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes.  And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes.  (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.)  Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions.  A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves.  Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it.  It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes.  Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score.  Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way.  Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT.  John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.  

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions.  The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING.  Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition.  But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene.  Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that.  Case in point: King Herod.  There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.”  He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him.  In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE. 

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves.  Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly.  This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show.  Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.  

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production.  This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in.  The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power.  In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene.  Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course.  Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red.  Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.”  And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing.  Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial.  But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business. 

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show.  Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this.  There are soul singers.  There are girls in skimpy angel costumes.  The parkour guys from the prologue are back.  Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song.  And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So.  I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.  :)