#i have bad social skills to begin with but can you imagine what that has done to me

[lightnersdream]

so reflecting i have done jack shit since i graduated. had an ok first quarter and then it went to shit hard i want to draw more but i have to get over my insane perfectionism if im gonna keep doing it at all. and it applies to my life in general also but

[hunnylagoon]

The Killing Moon

PT2 The Colour Wars

Ellie Williams x Reader

It’s the perfect night for mystery and horror. The night itself is filled with monsters.

Premise: Summer camp feels a little different. Could it be newfound feelings for your friend or creatures beyond the imagination stalking you? Either way, it’s time to win the Colour Wars.

Warnings: Raunchy humour / mentions of cryptids / creepy?

PART ONE: Camp Spirit

Hope everything is alright with you because I'm so stressed that I may be spiralling into insanity at any moment. I understand that I'm an adult now but I too need someone to scream my frustration to until my lungs burn and I'm light-headed. "Hey, I'm having like super bad cramps and my flow is super heavy so I can't play this game."

I look at the girl in front of me, she's around fourteen if I had to guess and has two blonde French braids. We were in the middle of the first game of colour wars -the treasure hunt- and this girl was sporting a blue shirt, I didn't know her face nor was she on my team and I hadn't even noticed that she had been tagging along with my group for ten minutes. "Who are you?"

"Laila."

"Why are you here?" I ask but Laila only answers me with a shrug and a sneer "Never mind, I'm not your counsellor and I don't care, go to the nurses."

"Can I go to the nurses too?" Olive peeps up behind me "I think I have a scrape on my knee.":

"Don't we all?" I look back at her "We gotta win this game, we're so close," We were, mostly because every time the blue team gathered treasure I would send out feral kids to ambush them and bring it back to me "We're gonna have all the treasure we can carry." The objective was simple; The directors hid treasure (Cheap jewelry, hats, clothes from the old theatre program, etc.) across campgrounds and we had to source it out, whichever team came back to the sports field with more treasure won.

"We've been out here for hours," Morgan groaned, you'd think that these girls had been sent to war with the way they complained.

"It's only been forty-six minutes."

Olive took a seat on a rock, Leah doing the same, it didn't take long for each girl to have firmly planted themselves on the ground and refuse to get up. Valentina grabbed a stick and began to scratch drawings into the muddy ground.

"C'mon guys, there's like fifteen minutes left, and I know for a fact that there is still treasure to be found." I know how ridiculous I must've looked at that moment, I had been wearing a purple 'royal cape' that was pilling onto my T-shirt and a cheap dollar store crown that kept slipping off my head.

"I'm so bored," Chloe drew out.

"Because you're being boring!" I exasperate. Never had I ever had a cabin that was so apathetic and unenthusiastic, they were a stark contrast to last year when everyone had sunshine running through their veins and mud smeared across their faces; those pitch black summer nights live in my bones.

"This isn't fun, can we play something else?" 

"No," I take a deep breath out, composing myself "You are at summer camp to be outdoors, you're developing important social, cognitive and emotional skills."

I'm met with blank stares from each and every girl sitting below me "I don't know what that means," Leslie said.

"It means we're going through puberty," Kim tells her.

"No," My eyes go wide "No, it means that you're figuring out who you are."

"Am I gonna get my period soon?" Valentina drops the stick from her tiny hands. 

"Maybe- I don't know," I thew my hands out. 

"What's a period?"

"It's where you bleed until you don't have any blood left and then you die," Kim says this so matter-of-factly like she has a degree in healthcare and has been teaching the health unit in PE for a decade.

"WHAT?" Chloe jumps up from her spot on the ground, looking around to see if she's already bleeding out.

"We're gonna die and you didn't tell us?" Leslie looks even more terrified than she did on the night of the camp legend.

Every girl was beginning to panic, fear was clear across their small faces. It's moments like these where I wish I was alone, maybe solo camping or back in my bedroom from high school, somewhere where only the moon knows how I rot and the sun knows how I yearn.

"Guys, calm down, a period isn't a bad thing and it won't hurt you," This was my attempt to soothe the ten-year-old girls who were contemplating how they would spend their last days on earth. The plastic crown slips off my head and I reach down to grab it and readjust it.

"Then why is it called a period if it doesn't end your life?" Kim asks, crossing her arms.

"I don't know but it doesn't end your life-

"Can we just go back to the soccer field until this game is over?" Tamar chimes in, looking like she rather be staring at cardboard boxes. 

"Fine!" I finally gave in, gathering all of the treasure that once sat at my feet into my arms. The amount of treasure was almost overflowing, I had stolen a bunch from some kids in Dean's cabin who were too scared to argue with me. 

"Am I going to die?" Leslie scurries up beside me and I look down at her, behind the thick lenses of her classes, she is holding back tears.

"Not for a very long time," I can hardly bend my neck to look at her with the amount of shit I'm hauling, the girls being little to no help with this. The girls trail behind me and I have to turn my entire body to look at them "If anyone runs off this time, I'm feeding them to the snatchers."

Suddenly they want to listen. The woods aren't scary in the day, just at night when they begin to whisper. As of now, I know the quickest way to every part of camp despite the identical trees so thick that you can hardly see the sky when you're beneath them. 

Leslie holds onto the bottom of my red Colour Wars T-shirt since my hands are full, Valentina holds onto Leslie's hand and all of a sudden I've become a mother hen with little chicks following me around. 

"If magic isn't real then why were people so scared of witches," Valentina asks me while she kicks a rock across matted fallen leaves and dirt. 

"Maybe magic is real," I say "To burn a witch is to admit magic exists."

"How do I become a witch?" Chloe appears out of what seems to be thin air on my other side, I can't see her since my pile of goodies is up to my chin and I'm afraid that if I move all of it will come tumbling down.

"Practice magic," That was my guess, I didn't know squat about witchcraft.

"How do I do that?"

"A real witch will figure it out herself," I say. When you've worked with kids for five years, you get to a certain point where you run out of creative answers. During my first year working here, I was sixteen and a CIT, terribly afraid to mess up because I hadn't lived yet. With each passing year that I've come back, I get more and more comfortable, returning to familiar faces and the smell of petrichor.

Chloe nods excessively like I've just said something extremely profound, I can see the gears turning in her head like she's already thinking of spells to cast. 

It takes a little less than five minutes until we're out of the woods, we emerge by the crafts cabin, the soccer field is in clear sight. The soccer field is built over a little mound, slightly elevated from the ground and on top I can see two piles of knick knacks and a pretty big sum of campers and counsellors alike waiting on the top. 

From the looks of it Tommy and Joel have already begun to count their respective teams mound of treasure, Tommy being on the amazing red team and Joel representing the awful/disgusting/foul/boring/untalented blue team. That might've been a stretch but there were no friends in the Colour Wars.

In what seems to be the blink of an eye a hoard of kids runs past me and my girls, nearly knocking me off my feet. I didn't even process that some boys with too much energy had stolen plyed my well earned (stolen) treasure from my arms leaving me with nothing but my cape and crown until Liza, a girl from the Grizzly cabin snatched the cape right off my back and none other than Ellie herself grabbing the crown off my head.

They were booking it to the soccer field "Go get our shit back!" I yelled ushering my girls to go after the kids who were at least three years older than them. Only two of them actually listened; despite how hard they were trying, Leslie and Chloe's stumpy legs couldn't take them very far, leaving me to be the only one in pursuit.

I summoned back all of my memory from playing rugby in highschool and jumped on Ellie's back, I didn't take her down but she stumbled. I was so desperate to not turn up empty handed. By the time I made contact with her, she had already thrown the crown ahead for Liza to catch. They ran up the soccer field, dumping the double stolen treasure into their hula hoop. Even visually they were in the lead now, thanks to my expert piracy skills and theirs too, I guess.

"I hate you," I slid off Ellie's back, my sneakers hitting the dusty ground. "My girls earned that fair and square."

She looks me up and down, bathing in my anger like some kind of prize "I know you stole it."

"How?"

"Because I know you."

"Oh yeah?" I cross my arms, taking a step closer to my friend "Do you know how I'm gonna kick your ass later?"

She grins "I look forward to it." Ellie leaves me with this while she walks up to the soccer field to revel with her team in their newfound victory.

"What does 'kick your ass' mean?" Olive padded up behind me along with the rest of the girls, except for Leslie who was bent over, one hand on her knee to support her while she clung to her inhaler for dear life. "Are you gonna beat Ellie up?"

"I think she means 'kiss her ass'." Kim said, turning her head to look at Olive "Like they're gonna have sex later."

"What's sex?" Chloe furrowed her eyebrows.

"Kim you need to stop talking," I tell them, hands on my hips, nothing but frustration etched into the forefront of my brain. I glance back at Ellie as Maria rings the bell to signal that the game was over. Softly, with hands gentle as rain, I will wrap my hands around her neck and strangle her.

"Listen up!" I announced to the eight girls in my cabin. To absolutely no surprise, blue won the treasure hunt, now we were setting up for a water balloon fight in the allotted section of woods that Joel taped off in bright pink flagging tape. "I physically and mentally cannot handle another loss, I will be very disappointed in each and every one of you if we don't win-

"That's not true," Daniel cuts me off "The point of today is to have fun, winning doesn't matter, just do your best." The both of us are standing tall on a rock while the campers sit around and stare up at the two of us like we had been mighty gods preparing to throw wine and bread at their little feet.

I eye Daniel from the side and look back to everyone "None of your hard work is going to matter unless you win so do you want to be a whiney loser like Daniel or be cool like me and win the colour wars?"

Everyone fell quiet for a moment as if a curse of silence fell upon us until Kim not-so-sublty yelled "Daniel's a pussy!" I was beyond the point where I cared about the girls cussing, the only thing on my mind was showing my very dear friend, Ellie how awful her team is and rub my win in her beautiful face.

"That's what I like to hear!" I smile "Now let's go win this!"

My girls erupt in cheers and Daniel almost shamefully steps off the rock. I had finally made a breakthrough with my cabin after slightly snapping at them after Maria announced that the red team lost. Maybe the treasure hunt wasn't my thing, but water balloon wars? I had won that every single year, even when I was still a camper. 

The objective was easy, be the last team with players, once you get hit you're out. Friendly fire is strictly against the rules as well as headshots, they had to be hit in the torso, once you get wet, you're out and have to leave the allotted zone to watch. 

We played in a patch of forest that was less dense than the rest, making it easier to run around. 

"Three!" Maria shouted, "Two!" She's standing in the middle of the zone, so everyone can hear her though no one can see her since the two teams are on opposite ends to make it fair. "One!" She blows her whistle and kids are already dunking their hands into buckets of icy-cold water balloons and setting off to the enemy end.

The CITs were responsible for keeping a consistent flow of water balloons and buckets spread evenly in the zone, I remember when I was a CIT and had to miss out on capture the flag to pick up every bit of balloon that at splattered across the ground. 

I had a balloon in each hand, making my way around the perimeter discreetly. I lock eyes with a younger boy in a blue shirt, he immediately turns to run, not fast enough though "Come back here ankle biter!" I yell, decking a water balloon at him, it hits him right in his back.

There was a boy in Sawyers's cabin, one of the wild ones with animal teeth that ran off of energy drinks and the huff of Sharpies. He tried to throw a balloon at me but it missed me by a landslide, his second attempt wasn't much better.

I however nailed him in the chest "You're out buddy!" I smiled, and he met this by giving me the middle finger. "Whatever carrot top, tell Sawyer I send word!"

I was way too good at this game. Every year I thought I could take on the other team single-handedly and every year I'm proven right when I'm the last one standing. After a prompt reminder from Joel that this was supposed to be fun for the campers and I was treating it like World War Three, I had to cool down a little bit.

We played this game straight after lunch so everyone was either hopped up with energy or sluggish from eating too much, alternatively, there was Ashlynn. She was wandering around, a black bleach-stained hoodie thrown over the top of the shirt for whatever team she was on.

Ashlynn had a can of Diet Coke in hand, where did she get it? I'm not too sure, my guess is that she stashed them under her bunk. "Hey," She sits on a log beneath the tree I was hiding behind. "You're way better at this than you should be, you know you're playing against children, right?"

"I didn't come here to fuck around," There weren't a whole lot of people left in the game, I just took out Abby and the only counsellor left on the blue team was Ellie, maybe Ashlynn but she didn't pose a threat in any way shape or form. 

"Do you have any nic on you?" She looked up at me, taking a sip from her diet coke, her shaggy bleached hair was one more dye away from being fried.

"No?" I furrow my eyebrows "I don't usually bring nicotine to a summer camp full of children."

Ashlynn almost looks like she's hungover but then again she usually seems that way "I brought a couple joints and I'm like ninety percent sure two got stolen."

My eyes widen "You brought joints? Ash, you're getting fired if Maria finds out."

She shrugs "I don't mind, I either smoke weed here or I smoke weed in my backyard." 

"Okay but if it actually got stolen then it's probably some little shit that has it, they're gonna say that you gave it to them and that's a whole case."

"It's legalized though."

"Yeah, not for children." I was taken away from the game until I saw the smallest bit of a blue shirt beneath Ashlynn's sweater, I didn't hesitate to drop a balloon on her. She doesn't seem to mind and from this reaction, I'm beginning to think she's the one who smoked those missing joints. 

I come out from behind the tree empty-handed and plant a kiss on her forehead as an apology for getting soaking wet "Love you, Ash, hope you find your weed." I tell her before jogging off. Ashlynn doesn't get up to join everyone else outside of the boundary, she just stays on the log and drinks her diet coke.

Dina is still in the game on my team as well as a few campers, I hear her voice yelling at children somewhere off in the distance. Sadly, the girls in my cabin were picked off almost immediately, I swear I will avenge their little souls.

"You're soaking Conner, get out of here," Dina scolded a kid on the blue team "You gotta play by the rules, so beat it shrimp."

"Nuh-uh," He said. Lord knows I hated this kid, last summer when I went to the bathroom during dinner Conner stole my food and denied it even though he was the only one in the mess hall with two plates, he then kicked me in the shins and waddled away.

"You gotta go, baby hippo," I tell him, his round cheeks are bright red from running and he's short-breathed. He shakes his head and with a final stern look from both Dina and I, he leaves. "Nice, who's left?"

"One camper on our team and just Ellie over there," She tells me "Like best case scenario, just go over there and seduce Ellie."

I raise an eyebrow "Nah, I'm winning with brute strength and incredible strategy."

"I'm guessing that going for the little kids first is your definition of incredible strategy?"

"Yup," I say, walking to a bucket to grab another balloon "Get ready, this could go south."

"God forbid we tragically lose our lives in a water balloon war," Sarcasm drips from her tone even though she grabs another balloon.

"I know, that would be awful," I say with full seriousness.

Dina is struck with a water balloon out of nowhere "Shit," She mutters, looking at her now dripping shirt. I don't think I've ever reacted so quickly to anything in my life, I throw a balloon at Ellie and it barely hits her, but it still does.

"Look, you're wet," I smile, brighter than I had this whole summer "You're wet, you lost!" I'm almost jumping around, I'm so unreasonably happy at such a stupid thing. "I won!" I yell trying to capture the attention of the CITs so my win could go on record. 

"Fuck yeah!" Dina gives me a high five then looks at Ellie "You lost!"

"You lost," I say in a sing-song voice "Red team wins," I grab Dina's hand and raise to the sky like she's just won a wrestling match "We win, you're all wet!"

"You're wet too, D," Ellie says.

"Yeah, but you lost!" Dina wraps me in a hug around my torso, pinning my arms down and shaking me back and forth.

"Ew, get off," I can't help myself from laughing "But seriously I won, put that on record."

"Wow they have their worst player guarding the flag," I say, we were nearing dinner now and everyone was getting tired out, not me though, I had a war to win. Capture the Flag was the last game and that game is my shit, I know I said that about every other game but I really mean it this time. 

"I always forget that you're way too into this," Ellie says, she's unmoving in front of the blue team flag, pole stuck into the ground. 

"Ellie, you need to let me win," I say "Or I will do unspeakable things to you."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" She teases.

"Whichever you want," I almost surprised myself by saying this but it just slipped from my mouth like wax off the wings of Icarus. Behind me, I feel a harsh slap on my back and swiftly turn around to see a pudgy kid with a huge smile on his face. 

"You have to go to jail," Conner says and if he wasn't a child who stood at 4'3 I probably would've hit him.

"Yeah, I know, Conner," I glance at Ellie who is biting back a laugh and gives an obnoxious little wave as Conner drags me by the hand towards the jail. He waddles along, clinging to two of my fingers, his hands are greasy and slippery, whatever reason, I'm not sure I want to know.

He takes me to a rope circle laid out on the ground, there's already a handful of people on my team in it. Conner drops me off there, sticking his tongue out before scurrying away as fast as he could (Which wasn't very fast). There's one blue team guard, I recognized him from Jesse's cabin. 

I'm far too bitter for someone playing a harmless camp game, I hold a grudge easier than I hold someone's hand. "Why are you here?" A boy from Miles cabin asks.

"Because I got tagged, Emmet," I say, agitated. "Why are you here? Because you can't outrun an eight-year-old?"

His smile drops "Yeah," He looks down at his shoes, kicking some dirt. 

"How are we supposed to get out and win this?" Another boy asks.

"Jesus," I mutter "How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen and you've never played Capture the Flag?"

He nods his head "I mostly play COD and Fortnite."

"Oh my god," I run my hands down my face, fighting the urge to gag "Someone from our team who isn't tagged has to tag us, they can only tag one person at a time and we get a free walk back to our side if we're tagged, to win the game you need to capture the other teams flag- you know what, I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory."

"So who's going to tag us?"

"Probably no one because a kid with Fortnite skills isn't really worth saving" I answer and he falls quiet. Harsh? yes. Necessary? No, but I was annoyed.

"Hey, Crawford," A voice says, she's standing a few yards back with one of her friends giggling.

"Oh, hey," The guy guarding us, coughs, deepening his voice "What's up."

"I can't believe you're actually playing this game," The girl sniggers.

"Nah, I'm just waiting for Lucas," He lies.

"Find him later, come hang out," She smiles at him.

Crawford looks from us to her, and with little to no hesitation, he goes with the girls. Once I see their figures retreat beyond the trees, I look around to see if there are any more people on the blue team around before stepping out of the rope circle.

"I thought you said we had to get tagged by someone else before we could leave," The boy says, looking around nervously as if he was buying pot in an alley.

"Are you a narc?" I ask.

"No?"

"Then we're good to go," I say, ushering my team out of the circle. The sun has just begun to set, casting an orange hue over everything and making it look like it had been touched by Midas. While the rest of my team runs back to our side where they are safe from being tagged, I have something else on my mind, Ellie Williams. 

I began to retrace my steps back to where Ellie waited with the flag and where I'm sure a bunch of overeager kids were patrolling to protect the priceless flag from the claws of the evil red team.  Ellie was never into these games until I was, the second I had the urge to win something, she was compelled to beat me.

Someone hadn't been looking where they were sprinting when they crashed into me at full speed, they would've knocked me down if they weren't the same height as an Oompa Loompa. She let out an 'Oof' while she fell to the ground "Chloe?"

"Hi," She looks up at me, and quickly the posse rolls around. All of the girls in my cabin, even Tamar and Morgan were actively participating.

Leslie ran up to me and hugged me around my legs "Hi, girls," I said with furrowed eyebrows. The past two weeks I had struggled to even get them to collectively go to breakfast without putting up a fight because they didn't want to. "How's the game going?"

"We know where the flag is!" Valentina peeps up, she has mud smeared under her eyes like war paint. 

"Yeah, but Ellie's there and I'm scared of her," Leah mentions.

"Well, we're all together now so we can strategize," A smile cracks onto my face.

"We should put a scorpion in her hair," Kim has a wild grin on her tanned face, her honey-blonde hair is tangled into a rat nest, with a couple of leaves in there.

"No, good idea though, we'll save that one for later," I point at Kim "I was thinking that I could distract Ellie while half of you keep the other guards away and the other half grabs the flag and makes a break for it."

Kim nods enthusiastically, Tamar doesn't seem thrilled by the idea but she doesn't object to it so I take her silence as a win. This is the exact moment I put on my invisible captain hat, giving each of my girls a specific role with the promise I would sneak them candy on Saturday if they pulled this off. 

With each passing minute, the sky got darker and darker, I wanted to finish this game until Joel and Tommy made the counsellors walk around with headlamps on to keep an eye on everyone. "Hi, El."

"What do you want?" She's been standing in the same spot for a little over an hour, her vexation was shining through in her tone. 

"To be done with this game," I say, prepping myself for the little heist "This is really dragging on and- I saw Crawford run off with some girls from your cabin."

"Who the hell is Crawford?" She furrows her eyebrows.

"One of Jesse's boys, I know it's an unfortunate name."

"Who did he leave with?"

"Uh," I rack my brain for their names "Cindy and the rude one."

She nods, immediately knowing who I was talking about from my vague description "So, when are you gonna run past me and steal the flag?"

"What?" I acted like her question was incredulous "Why would you think that's what I'm trying to do?" I'm so bad at acting, I'm behaving like one of those wasted middle-aged men who get pulled over on the freeway and pretend that they're stone-cold sober by making a bunch of hand gestures while they talk.

"You're awful at acting," She says, crossing her arms, I watch the veins tense in her forearm below her tattoo sleeve.

"Fuck," I muttered "Fine, I give up," I plop myself on the ground, my spine against the trunk of a tree, I look up at Ellie "Okay, I'm officially over these games."

She raises an eyebrow and I can tell that she doesn't believe me. "First of all, you're sitting in mud. Second of all, eleven years of bloodshed and you're giving up out of nowhere?"

"It's not out of nowhere, I'm just getting older," I say the second half a little quieter "I'm in college I need to stop acting immature."

We both fall silent, she doesn't know what to say to this. Ellie usually wasn't the best at comforting me in whichever situation, I remember back when I was fourteen and a wreck because my first dog died and all she could do was give me a hug and ask if I wanted water. 

"You’re not immature," Ellie says, unsure of what to do.

"Alrighty," I press my lips together in a thin line, equally diffident. "I'm just bored of this, it's gotten kind of repetitive."

"Then what do you wanna do?" She asks, in this light she's dimly illuminated by the setting sun. She looks like a sculpture carved from honey.

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll do whatever you want," I smile.

"Are you trying to flirt with me?"

"Is it working?"

"Not entirely," She says, behind her, there's a snap and just before she turns around I call her attention back to me. I saw Valentina, Chloe, and Olive emerging from behind trees, just seconds away from victory.

"Okay," I chuckle "Help me up?"

Ellie regards me for a second before taking my hand stretched wide. The second her hand clasps in mine I pull her down with all of my might and believe me when I say this is no easy feat, Ellie was sturdy. Luckily I caught her off guard and managed to pin her beneath me, I straddle over her torso, gesturing for the girls to run.

"Go!" I whisper-shout so others on the blue team can't hear me. Ellie grabs me by the waist and uses momentum to flip me over, now I'm the one with my back in the mud and she sits overtop of me. 

She had been so close that our lips brushed, and I had felt my heart stop, I almost didn't want to move just to see what would happen next but in utter panic, I reached next to me, a handful of mud and smeared it down Ellie's face. "You're so gross," She squeezes her eyes shut, leans back and begins to scoop mud off her face, I use this as my opportunity to wriggle out from beneath her.

It takes me a minute to get off my knees and onto my feet, by this point, almost the entirety of my legs are covered in mud, leaves, sticks, and probably bugs. I try to take off but my sneakers betray me and I fall face-first into the mud.

Of course, Ellie sees this and she's laughing so hard she needs to support herself, one forearm against a tree while her other is clutching her stomach. I scoop up more mud, almost squirming in distaste from the sensation of it caked beneath my nails but I still throw it at Ellie with perfect accuracy. 

She tenses up when I do this. Once again I struggle to my feet but this time I am victorious, I stay frozen in place for a moment to be sure I won't face plant again. When I'm sure that I won't fall, I bend down to throw another mud pie at Ellie for good measure than I'm off to see if my girls completed the mission.

When I finally got back to my side I saw my team already celebrating "Woohoo!" I yell and the crowd immediately falls quiet, regarding my current state. I probably look like a creature who's just crawled out of a stagnant swamp. 

"Why does she look like that?" Ashlynn whispers to Bowie who doesn't respond and from his red eyes alone, I know the reason why.

"C'mon girls," I smile "Bring it in!" I open my arms for my cabin to come in for a hug but they just back away from me with wrinkled noses. 

Tommy looks at me "Why are you dirty?" I knew he was getting sassy when he propped his hands on his hips "What happened in the ten-minute gap since I last saw you that has made you so filthy?" It wasn't malice in his voice but genuine curiosity, Tommy was a fun-loving guy for the most part.

I shrugged "I wouldn't know, mate, you tell me." His eyebrows furrowed as his confusion delved even deeper. He looked into my soul from across the clearing. Eventually, Ellie makes her way to join me, she's a little better off than I am though she's still grimy.

"Oh, great, you too," Tommy says, gesturing to his niece. 

Joel lets out a deep sigh "You two better shower before dinner."

I let the hot water run over my body, dripping down and consuming me whole. Ellie and I are the only ones in the showers, we're separated by nothing more than a divider though the steam is so heavy I wouldn't have been able to see her regardless. 

Since we were sent to grab a change of clothes and clean off Ellie had been almost silent, she wasn't even teasing me back or making a punchline when I had thrown out an obvious setup. 

After thoroughly washing the grime off of my body I turned the shower off, walking over the laminated bench where Ellie and I had out put our clothing only to find them missing. For a minute I thought I was crazy and had misplaced them but after awkwardly pattering around the shower house, I realised they were gone.

"Hey, Ellie," I say on the other side of her shower stall "Someone stole our clothes."

"You're hilarious," She deadpanned, not an ounce of amusement in her tone.

"Yeah, I know but I'm not joking."

I hear the water turn off in her stall, she pokes her head out and looks at the bench "Where did you put them?"

"I didn't put them anywhere," I say, in an attempt to sound convincing. "Someone took our shit," All that was left behind we're Ellie's Converse, knocked onto the ground and my carabiner with keys, a flashlight, and my shark keychain. 

"Fuck," Ellie mutters and looks around for a moment before her eyes land on me and she quickly averts her gaze, "Can you turn around?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too." I tell her though I do turn around "What's the plan here?"

"I'm looking."

"I already did, dumbass."

"Thoroughly." She adds.

I stare at empty shower stalls and white tile walls while Ellie checks every single spot that I already have. I can hear only her and the plop of dribbles of water splattering against the cold ground. The steam is still heavy and easy on my sharp lungs.

"I can't find them," Ellie says at last. "But I did find some clothes that look like they could've belonged to Adam Sandler.”

"Yeah, no shit," I turn around and see her standing there completely nude, she moves quickly out of my eye line and into a stall "You've changed in front of me a million times, what's different now?" I say, nonchalantly, walking past her.

"Maybe I don't want you to see me buck naked."

"I think I just heard something," I stop in my tracks.

 "not really the time-

"Why do you always think I'm fucking with you?" I ask, furrowed eyebrows.

"Because-

"Shh," I hush her trying to listen for the sound. I walked toward the entrance of the shower house there was a large wall in front of the door so no one could open the door to peek in, they had to go around the wall and properly enter, the same way most locker rooms were set up. I'm about ten yards away from the entrance when I see a figure poke their head out, just a quarter of its face, I can see their amber eye. They spot me in almost a split second and jet out in a blur, I hear the door open and crashing shut, their feet scrambling away. Just like that, I felt my blood run cold. 

"Fuck!" I yell, scuttling back towards the stalls "Ellie, there's fucking someone in here!" My heart is beating faster than I think it ever has before and I almost feel sick with the thought that someone was in here the entire time Ellie and I had been vulnerable and unaware. 

"What?" She steps out of the stall and looks around before she sees me. I'm on the floor, my knees to my chest and eyes wide. "You saw someone?"

"Yes!" I say throwing a hand out to gesture to the divider "They were hiding behind there and fucking watching us!"

"Shit," She says, walking towards the wall and looking behind it, she freezes too. Ellie turns towards me and the doubt on her face is gone "We need to find some clothes and get out of here."

"What?" I say "Did you see something?"

Ellie begins to open every single locker, tossing articles of clothing that people left behind on the ground. She wasn't exaggerating earlier when she said she found clothes that could've belonged to Adam Sandler. No wonder they were left behind.

"What was it?" I press again.

"Just some mud tracks, they were probably ours," She dismisses. "Now get dressed."

This doesn't ease me in the slightest, I'm so on edge that I haven't made a joke about Ellie and I casually being naked in front of each other. How ridiculous the pair of us looked didn't aid me in calming down; Ellie was wearing a black T-shirt about three sizes too large that read 'Ask me about my IBS' with a caricature of a man-eating cheese beneath it, this was paired with blue basketball shorts that had two white stripes running down the side. "How's your IBS?" I tease.

"It's a constant battle." At least she had her shoes, I had to wear flip-flops that hardly fit, so small I almost thought they belonged to a Barbie. While Ellie was moderately comfortable, I was not, I had to wear skinny jeans that were crudely cut into Bermuda shorts, matched with none other than an American flag tank top, how patriotic. 

"I'm almost thinking it would be better to go out in nothing," I say, looking at myself in the mirror. I glance over at Ellie, I know she's trying to play it off but I can tell she's shaken.  "You look so stupid."

"Damn," She says "I was just trying to show my support for those with IBS," Ellie jokes, trying to ease the tension.

The both of us are procrastinating on leaving the perceived safety of the shower house. I feel dread emanating from the woods, we will no longer be surrounded by four walls and engulfed by bright light. As we walk towards the entrance I reach for Ellie's hand, intertwining our fingers. "So we're going straight to the mess hall?"

"Yup," She says, giving my hand a little squeeze, it's her way of saying 'I got you'. I wonder if she can sense the panic pulsing through me or distress pumping in my veins. At the door I saw the tracks Ellie was staring at, they hadn't been ours. We walked in with muddy sneakers, these were barefoot prints, and whoever they belonged to had walked in many circles. I'm sick to my stomach once again, fighting the natural urge to vomit until I cry and my parents come to comfort me.

I click my flashlight on, but nothing lays ahead but forest and a beaten path. We stepped out into the darkness, it wasn't a far walk to the mess hall where everyone was gathered but that didn't stop my heart from racing like a rabbit moments away from getting snagged by a terrifying beast. 

My heartbeat slowed the further we walked, so far we hadn't been kidnapped by a pervert. I take a deep breath, trying to push overtly dark thoughts to the back of my mind, next to me Ellie is calm as a marble statue bathed beneath moonlight.

Each breeze makes me shudder despite the humid weather. Suddenly, regarding my current situation, the summer camp doesn't feel like home anymore. It feels like those abandoned houses up the road that my parents had carefully trained me to stay away from. The rustle of leaves is reminiscent of the laugh that belonged to creepy men who used to watch children at the park who didn't belong to them. 

I'm no longer met with the fresh scent of pine but something ancient, something rotted like it's been sitting in the back of the fridge for a decade. It reeks of shit to the point where I'm gagging on nothing like little hands of wind pushing on the back of my throat. 

My hand grows sweaty clasped to Ellie's though she shows no indication of being bothered by this. I hear a rustle somewhere around, whether it's in the trees or the bushes I'm unsure, instinctivly, I freeze. I look around, the gleam from my flashlight gliding across the flora, searching for something that likely isn't there.

"It's okay," Ellie says, her voice tender as a lullaby  "We're fine," She pulls gently on my hand to keep us going but I'm stuck in place. My flashlight is frozen on the body of a rabbit, Its white fur soaked through with red. I break my hand free from Ellie's grip and clasp it over my dry lips to choke down a cry. The entire skin of the rabbit's torso had been torn off on one side from the spine to the stomach, you could see its brown organs, the still beating heart, and everything that made it function was pooling out of it. If it hadn't been for its little head, beady eyes full of fear and perked-up ears, I wouldn't have known it was a rabbit at all. Whatever mauled it did a messy job that it hadn't quite finished like a dull axe to the back of the head. 

Behind the trees, I hear slurping, something wet and hungry. It wretches on what I assume to either be its newest feast or its saliva. It devours every last breath it has, the breathing is shallow and gruff like it's eating so fast it's choking on its meal, though it takes the time to slurp and swallow the remnants of whatever it's chowing down on. I see a pair of golden eyes glint behind a shrub in the cast of my light.

I reach for Ellie's hand again and run like I've never run before. She quickly takes the lead, so fast that she's nearly dragging me along. We don't speak but we understand each other clearly, we need to move. 

Trailing us, I hear heavy steps beating against the dirt pathway. I don't even need to look back to know that it's following u, its heavy, wet breathing is clue enough. I'm starting to feel a burning in my lungs, saliva builds in my mouth and I spit it down onto the pathway, heaving with every quick-paced step.

One of my too-tight pink flip-flops catches a rock stuck in the path and sends me tumbling to the ground. For just a moment I see a pitch-black figure wearing tattered clothing with amber eyes that glow light street lamps gaining on us; I could've sworn it had human hands and feet but I wasn't in my right mind, it's still enough to send adrenaline coursing through my veins. Without even stopping, Ellie pulls me back up and I kick off my other sandal, running barefoot on the trail.

My feet hammer against the dirt, rocks, and pebbles. I can feel the souls of my feet getting sliced and torn though I don't slow down, the sight of the mess hall in the distance makes me run even faster. 

"Hey!" Ellie yells, trying to capture the attention of someone in the mess hall. Her grip on my hand doesn't loosen, in fact, it gets tighter as she pulls me along. I don't know if whatever was chasing us is still there but I'm too mortified to check. 

I wave with my hand clutching my carabiner but it does nothing to garner any kind of attention within the mess hall. Our feet moving faster than we could form thoughts we ran towards the entrance. 

Ellie pulls the door wide open and pushes me in before slamming the door shut behind us. The very second my heaving body hits the floor, everyone's attention falls on us.

"Woah," Miles regards us with confusion before it morphs into a smile on his face "Did you guys just have sex?" He takes a bite of his sandwich, he looks like he got into Ashlynn's stash.

"Why do you look like Adam Sandler and Hilary Duff?" Dina furrowed her eyebrows next to Jesse, he looked like he was trying to work together some type of conclusion for why we were breathing so deeply and why my feet were bleeding. 

I look at Ellie and she meets my gaze, she no longer looks calm. There's a sense of dread written clearly across her features, that thing didn't seem animal, it didn't seem human either and I wasn't sure which was worse, the echo or the answer.  

A/N: Not much to say today but thanks for reading! Love you all.

TAGLIST: @wherearthepilots-blog @diddiqueen my tags are being so weird I’m so sorry if you weren’t tagged

[yanderes-galore]

yandere Charles concept?

Charles! Sure! I like his character but I wish we saw more ^^; I struggled so hard to make him yandere because he's one of the more honorable members in the group. But here's my try.

Yandere! Charles Smith Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Protective/Possessive behavior, Some Isolation, Brief blood mention, Violence, Possible death, Fear of loss, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Charles can often be considered stoic.

He's quiet and reserved yet a good fighter.

He acts as another enforcer in the gang, similar to Arthur whom he actually has a close bond with.

Despite being intimidating to some, he's actually very selfless and caring.

He's brave and is considered a force to be reckoned with.

Such traits are definitely shown towards his obsession, the one he cares about and views as his own family in one way or another.

Although he is a skilled fighter, Charles is actually one of the most honorable characters in the gang even if he doesn't admit it.

He only kills if he has to, which means he won't be killing any he's jealous of.

He finds that monstrous, let alone petty.

Another thing to note is his social awkwardness and tendency to be emotionally distant.

He tends to keep to himself, preferring to be alone most of the time.

However, he is perfectly capable of warming up to people like Arthur and John.

Charles has expressed his loneliness on multiple occasions, often struggling to find a place he truly belongs.

I imagine he finds some comfort in his obsession within the gang.

Even when Dutch begins to lose it, Charles still feels he can trust you, Arthur, and John.

Honestly, compared to most RDR yanderes, Charles isn't that bad to have.

He's loyal and protective since he's close with his obsession.

He doesn't mind helping, even if his own condition is poor.

I imagine Charles falls under the protective yet sacrificing category of yanderes.

He'd dedicate himself to you due to how much he cares for you.

For Charles, it doesn't entirely matter what his intentions are.

He's always wanted to belong somewhere, find his own people.

With his obsession he has a taste of that.

He sees you as family, be that like a sibling, friend, or even lover is up to you.

That feeling is what sparks his fondness and obsession with you.

Safe to say Charles is willing to do anything to protect you since he cares so much.

As I said before, the only time Charles kills someone is if he has to.

He's not the biggest fan of it compared to people like Micah and Dutch.

If he's jealous, he never usually shows it.

He may get a bit snappy if one of the gang members tries to push him, but never one to kill over it.

If your life was in danger?

Charles is quick to remove or kill whoever is trying to kill you.

If it's just threats, then he steps in and tries to talk things down.

But if there's a gun to your head... the muzzle brushing against your skin...?

Charles doesn't let them pull the trigger.

Before you're hurt, blood stains your clothes as your attacker goes down due to an arrow in an artery or somewhere else vital.

Afterwards, Charles steps in, asking if you're okay.

He doesn't kill for fun, he kills for a reason.

Which often means to protect those he loves.

Although, going back to jealousy...

While he often hides it when it does occur, some things do get on his nerves.

Other gang members no doubt know how Charles feels around you.

Many know you two are close... and some like to mess with him.

People like Micah or Bill might mess with you to mess with him.

Maybe there's some flirting or snide comments.

Maybe they talk bad about the bond you and Charles have...

Only for Charles to show up.

Charles cares a lot for you and your bond.

If someone in the gang messed with it or was purposely messing with you to mess with him?

Charles may just deck a man if not worse.

While mostly quiet, even around you, Charles does show care in his own ways.

He offers to teach you hunting or some other task that allows you two to have some alone time.

He shows happiness around you... often smiling and liking the idea of your attention staying on him.

Although, you may be thinking, what makes this wrong?

Well, maybe Charles is manipulative at times.

He finds himself attached and is increasingly worried for your safety when Dutch begins to get reckless.

Imagine if Charles wants to take you out of the gang with him.

However, you either want to go down your own path or stay with Dutch.

Charles knows he should trust you...

Yet like most protective yanderes, he can't see his life without you.

Imagine if Charles manipulates you into helping the Wapiti?

He knows you're a kind heart despite being an outlaw, that's one of the things that drew him to you.

He knows you'll eventually agree... although instead of going back to the gang after, Charles tries to convince you to stay with him up in Canada.

Not wanting to abandon a friend and also distrusting Dutch after him using the Wapiti... You may just agree.

It's all subtle, Charles keeping you by his side by appealing to your lingering humanity.

He does it both to protect you from Dutch and Micah... and also out of some selfish desire.

His protective behavior may seem possessive with how insistent he is about getting you away from Dutch and the others.

Although it's dubious why he wants you for himself.

He's not that bad of a yandere because he actually does get you out of a bad situation.

All he asks for in return is your own loyalty... to never leave his side.

He only kills to protect you, but he also isolates you to protect you too.

It isn't the healthiest situation... Especially when he prevents you from leaving his side after dragging you to Canada.

Overall, Charles isn't that bad...

Yet he isn't necessarily good either.

[luminoushane]

More Amity as Lilith's Child AU questions. (I think about this a normal amount) Sorry for bombarding with so many questions.

What last name is Amity using? I presume Clawthorne instead of Blight given her real parentage is meant to be a secret. If so I can imagine the Belos situation being even worse given who she has superficial similarities to.

Given Amity is over at The Owl House more as a kid what's her view on Hooty like? Does Lilith end up befriending him earlier as well?

At St Epiderm does Amity have any friends there? Does she still end up going there after moving into The Owl House (St Epiderm is expensive and money was pretty right after everything went down)and if not does she end up missing those friends?

You said Amity knew she was adopted, how much does she know about her birth family? How does the reunion with the twins go?

How does Amity react to finding out the truth about Lilith cursing Eda and then sharing the curse?

Of course a Lumity based question now. When does Amity begin to start catching feelings in this AU and how does that end up once she moves into The Owl House for season two? (Much blushing I presume)

Lilith (begrudgingly) tolerates Hooty up until S2. I mean, he DID beat her up multiple times (given it was out of self defense.) So ya know

As for her last name, she is indeed using Clawthorne! Which did piss off Belos quite a bit. He knows about Amity's real parents though, and looms that over Lilith's head whenever he wants something done.

And yes, she eventually does transfer to Hexside:).

Her St. Epiderm life is pretty boring, she has ONE friend. Hexside was much better for her social skills.

Her reunion with the twins happen in Labyrinth runners! She eventually introduces herself as their presumed dead sister and Edric and Emira smile and just go "We know. We we're waiting for you to tell us yourself." Bc, c'mon. They're not stupid enough to not notice how similar she looked to Odalia and Alador. As far as she's concerned, she isn't really sure if she actually wants to KNOW about Alador and Odalia, because she knows Lilith and Darius always talked bad about them.

There was moment, when she was 6, where she met up with Odalia (without Odalia knowing who she was.) And she came back running to Lilith and asking if she would take her back because she doesn't like her real family. Lilith's heart breaks for her.

As for the curse? Well, Lilith and Amity's relationship SEVERELY deteriorated after S1, which only made Amity feel worse bc she already had a fallout with Hunter.

And finally, she catches feelings early on while pretending to be rivals! Luz actually asked her to be her (totally platonic) partner for Grom since she was chosen as Grom Queen, and Amity ends up saving her, which ultimately led to her accepting her feelings. Luz starts to reciprocate soon afterwards, since they started sharing the same space.

[blue-thief]

kaisagi learning each other's languages

i've been learning japanese (at a VERY slow pace) for over 2 years now, and i just started learning german a month ago. so i started wondering what kind of bullshit would ensue with kaiser learning japanese and isagi learning german lol

(they either both know/learn english first or they were able to hold onto the translators they were given during the NEL)

kaiser learning japanese

he would have a pretty minimal accent from the beginning

and he would catch onto katakana and hiragana quickly

he would SUCK at kanji though

🥀: "ta-dah! i wrote 'dog'." (犬)

🌱: "nope. that's 'thick'." (太)

🥀: "BITCH-"

isagi can't take kaiser seriously whenever he speaks japanese

back during the NEL, kaiser speech always translated into really rough and informal japanese (i swear he says クソ/kuso/fuck in literally every chapter he shows up in 💀)

now that he's actually starting to learn, he has to start with keigo, so his speech is super formal and polite

🥀: (reading from a textbook) "トイレはどこですか?"/"toire wa doko desuka?"/"where is the washroom?"

🌱: (losing his shit) " 'ですか' ??????😭😭😭"/"desuka??????"/(basically indicates that something is a question in polite language)

kaiser would flex his skills by reading the back of ramen packs

he still can't read the kanji though

🥀: "something something NI O...yu? 450 ml WO YO KU something DOU SA SE, MEN WO... that character means 'enter', right? RE TE HO GU SHI NA GA RA four minutes? YU DE TE KUDASAI. MEN NO YU DE- oh i know how to read this kanji! JIKAN WA O- oh, another one i can actually read! SU MI NI YORI something something SHI TE KUDASAI!!!"

🌱: "...that's great, micha."

isagi learning german

japanese doesn't have articles (the/a/an)

imagine how much isagi struggles with GENDERED articles

🌱: "...der Wurst-"

🥀: "it's 'die Wurst'."

🌱: "WTF DO YOU MEAN SAUSAGE ISN'T MASCULINE???"

german has so many consonant and vowel sounds that japanese doesn't, so isagi would struggle soo much with pronunciation

out of frustration he'd find a bunch of movies, tv shows, and bands so he can get familiar with the sounds of the language

he also starts following a bunch of german ppl on social media to familiarize himself with the slang and the memes

he catches on quickly and becomes an absolute menace online

kaiser had to intervene every now and then to make sure he doesn't post anything TOO vulgar

you know it's bad when MICHAEL KAISER has to censor you

the only reason why people can even tell that isagi isn't a native speaker is the fact that he doesn't even try to get articles right

🌱: "i'm a man, so i'll use masculine language."

🥀: "that's not how that works-"

isagi has unknowingly gotten into beef with ness' alt account a few times

[midnightmissionarchives]

Werewolf by Night Issue 32

Encryption status: decrypted

Opening files...

Alright first up we have the OG, the first appearance of the man we've come to know as Moon Knight. I'd like to start here so that we an see how he's grown and changed and developed over the years. Future files will probably skip around depending on which ones get decrypted first.

Anyway!

Honestly, not a bad read. Gives a little glimpse into Jack Russell and what life is like for him, but also provides us with essentially a rough draft for Marc (Mark) Spector and the character they were trying to develop. There are definitely some differences with how this version of Moon Knight is introduced, but that's the fun part!

This issue starts off with a bang! Literally. The werewolf and Moon Knight are duking it out in a New York alley.

Earlier, Jack had been on a trip with his best friend and unfortunately the full moon had other plans. Jack's friend jumped in the way as Jack went to attack a young girl named Buttons (files are unclear if that is the girls actual name or if it's a nickname). This tragically led to his friend ending up in critical condition in the hospital with doctors unsure if he'll pull through or if he'll stay in the coma. Guilt ridden and angry Jack punches the wall, which didn't help ease his lover, Topaz, or his sister's worried minds, before he leaves the hospital to go home to see his step father.

Now enters The Moon Knight. Or...more accurately Mr. Spector.

Minor detail, but one that I find humorous. The writers and editors couldn't seem to decide how to spell his first name, either with a K or a C because we see it both ways within issues 32 and 33.

Now as you can see, he might be wearing all white, but he was all about the green, taking the suit and rolling with it. Also worth noting that $10k back in 1975 is really close to $60k today. So when some weirdo "committee" asks you to put on a costume and call yourself some silly name all for $10k...you don't really say no.

This is a very different origin story than what we've come to know about this character. This version is not tied to any vengeful moon god or ancient order or anything mystical. He was just some gun for hire given an outfit and told to pretend. Very interesting origin. Could you imagine if they had kept with that?

So Marc dons the silvery/white suit and introduces himself to Jack as Moon Knight. Shortly after, the full moon works its magic on Jack causing him to flee as he transforms into the wolf causing Marc to pursue.

While Marc's name may have been inconsistent (as well as his feelings towards his hero name), one other character has been consistent since the beginning and that's...

Jean-Paul "Frenchie" Duchamp

Yes, faithful congregation, Frenchie has been with Marc since the very beginning. Now that's a good friend.

Now we come back to the present with the fight in the alley. A crowd watches as a werewolf and some guy in a white costume tussle in an alley. The crowd stands and watches the fight for a good while before being struck with the realization...

I'm just imagining these people literally standing there slack-jawed at the fantastical brawl happening before them and this guy just suddenly comes back to consciousness like he had been woken up from a trance.

Anyway.

Jack puts up a good fight, despite his hurt hand, but Moon Knight wins out in the end thanks to his arsenal of silver weaponry, armor specifically designed to fight werewolves, and his incredible resume of skills.

The issue comes to a close as the police arrive and Moon Knight is dragging an unconscious werewolf towards the rope latter of the helicopter because, as Marc so eloquently put it,

"Payday's just around the corner, and I'd rather kill this hairy monster----than let those cops cut me off from my bread."

Yes, Marc Spector said "I'm getting that bread." I love how phrases make their way back into social vocabulary.

This is a far cry from the Moon Knight we've come to know. What he stands for, who he is, his motivations, just a different person. But, getting to know this version of the man only helps us to understand and appreciate how far he's come. This Marc is laying down the foundation for every iteration after him. He might not be the mystically endowed Fist of Vengeance, but he's no wimp either. Strength, agility, skill, marksmanship, you name it this guy has it in spades. And he would need it in order to hold his own with a werewolf who has inhuman strength and speed. The way the wolf (regrettably) cuts down his friend and really anyone who stands in way show just how powerful he is in this form, but he didn't seem to be a match for Moon Knight (who admittedly had a slight advantage with those silver weapons). Granted he did get a few good hits in, but Marc wasn't down for long. Would things have been different if the wolf's hand wasn't broken? Probably not. It might have gone on a little longer, but Moon Knight would have still come out on top, but who knows!

Thank you for joining me as we dive into the archives. This is the first file we're uncovering from the archives so I hope you enjoyed the read.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 15/02/2024

Corridors of Vine

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF

Ripped by Heboyi

Right, okay, we've had a good streak recently of covering more "traditionally good" rips for the blog - arrangements and remixes like NIGHTMARESCAPE 〜Unrestrained HyperCam 2〜 (Final Boss Phase 2), genuinely good arrangements like mlp racism anthem (comix zone arrange), even the premiere of a new Season with the Magolor's Shoppe Fusion Collab. I think its about high time we change the clock to something "stupider" - the kind of rip that reminds you just how much SiIva is driven by the wild imagination, skill, and commitment-to-the-bit of its contributors. Only within a community like SiIvaGunner's will you get something like Corridors of Vine.

With memes as a whole, there seems to exist some sort of...invisible hierarchy that defines their public perception, that I've always found really fascinating. It's not impossible to understand why this hierarchy exists: Memes like the Hampsterdance in Wario's Hampster Mine, the Sparta Remix in THIS. IS. SOLEANNA. and more call back to a different, more innocent time in internet history, wheras memes like Despacito in Plains of Des-passing-to and It's Everyday Bro in It's Everyday Lake are oft met with comments like "I hate that I love this", or other similar sentiments. Memes generally follow a trend where, once one has worn out its period of inferred relevance - typically once it stops being a niche internet activity and spreads to marketing teams and unfunny people in general - its labeled as "dead" and unwanted, left as a relic of a smaller period of internet activity. That is, of course, unless it gets brought back into fashion by virtue of nostalgia and given some sort of new spin, as we've seen happen with Doge as of late - until that then too becomes co-opted by unfunny people (this time crypto-grifters) and the cycle begins anew. Yet part of what makes SiIvaGunner as a channel so great, is that very few of the memes it uses ever reach that state of abandonment: the team is so good at finding new, inventive ways to use memes as old as from Season 1, to where they rarely feel stale. And if they do feel stale - well, then that can ironically become part of the joke, playing into just how samey and played-out the joke is for a sort of ironic appeal.

All of this is to say, that I always find it immensely funny whenever the team decides - seemingly at the drop of a hat - to begin using memes that have been thoroughly labeled as dead for years by that point. A meme like the Harlem Shake didn't have so much as a pulse by the time Season 6 rolled around even past its sole revival to relevancy a few years back from being attached to Ajit Pai - yet The Harlem Shakeover of that very season was one containing over THREE HUNDRED rips utilizing the joke, next to none of which were made with the intention of sounding bad. Funny enough, then, that one of the first events we'd see during that same Season would be doing the exact same thing to a meme that's likely far more loathed than the Harlem Shake ever was - Damn Daniel, the core joke to Corridors of Vine.

Damn Daniel is perhaps the closest we've ever gotten to having a meme that felt like a social experiment - a complete non-sequitor of a joke starring an average, marketable teen and his immaculate footwear. At the peak of Vine's age of randomness humor, the series of various videos on Daniel's Vans absolutely blew up - and immediately, there were cynics from outside of Vine, older internet dwellers mainly, who made a big point about how lacking-in-funny the videos were. Yet the guy, Daniel, made it onto the damn Ellen Show of all things within mere weeks after his debut, and in a way it kind of made Damn Daniel a symbol for everything considered wrong about Vine: its mainstream appeal and focus on short, memeable videos had created a form of shitposting that...no longer felt like they were part of a community.

That is, of course, just my summary of the opinions I gathered from all the way back in 2016 - back when SiIvaGunner itself was first revving up into gear. And I find it so incredibly befitting that it was during Season 6 that the Damn Daniel event occurred on SiIvaGunner - the Season all about letting go of the past. To have it begin with SiIvaGunner, itself a 2016 meme, acknowledging its near polar opposite made around the same time: A meme that was, for a solid while, one of the most wanted-dead memes of all, one that the internet as a whole frankly felt a kind of hatred toward during what would come to be a rather cynical, hateful year in general.

There's definitely an overarching aura of irony applied to the anniversary celebration's rips regardless, of course - part of the joke with Corridors of Vine is that its using a song otherwise so closely enveloped in emotion and vulnerability (one SiIva itself used to similar effect with 時の回廊 ＜ver. CCC＞), alongside a joke that's so bitterly remembered that its mere inclusion makes it difficult to take seriously. Yet Corridors of Vine takes itself as seriously as the concept could be, it is a genuinely fantastic YTPMV using several of the famous Damn Daniel Vines in conjunction with one another, resulting in an infectiously catchy combination of lead- and backing melody instrumentation. I do think the commitment to the bit worked excellently, and the comments of the video itself appear to agree with me - despite how beloathed Damn Daniel itself was, the time to properly acknowledge and accept it had arrived, and we were for once actually...enjoying the meme?

To circle back to the point made in the second paragraph here - the truth is, there are very few memes that wind up actually full-on dead for long. Dead memes as a concept are a label we put upon jokes we feel have ran their course, yet especially in the world of YTPMV there will always be people out there able to prove the naysayers wrong, even if the intentions are purely ironic. Ironic or affectionate, the end result is the same, isn't it? You've got a smile out of your audience through your work in adapting the meme! And through all the comments expressing their concerns over returning to the hellscape that was 2016s meme culture, those smiles - even through the barrier of the internet, felt as if they were shared by all of us. The entire event - and Corridors of Vine in particular - showed Damn Daniel a sense of affection it likely hasn't had since the days when the SiIvaGunner channel's name began with a G.

Here's to 8 years, Daniel.

...Stussy man, Damn.

[adhdbisexualramblings]

No. You know what?

I am sick and tired of how the Invader Zim fandom treats ZaDr.

While I stand by the firm belief that any romance between them would be imagined, bitter, codependent, and toxic, you are all terrified of that. You are all scared to admit that it’s anything but nice.

“oh but Zim and Dib are so similar that-“ that is EXACTLY the problem. They’re too similar. One is apprehensive to get close to anyone and the other has no social skills. Zim craves attention and isn’t good at giving it. Dib focuses too much on getting the attention of those around him and doesn’t relent until it blows up in his face. And have you seen Zim? Have you seen how manipulative, uncaring, and selfish he is? Do you really think he would accept Dib, a human, as his partner to begin with? Do you not think Dib wouldn’t have an issue with getting close to the enemy? Do you think neither of them would? If anything, a “relationship” between them would consist of Dib following Zim around like a puppy, because Zim gives him attention, and Zim leading him on because he loves being paid attention to.

It would be messy. It would be bad. It would be codependent at best and downright emotionally abusive at worst. They hate each other.

the fact that they will need to “rely on each other UwU🥰” is NOT GOOD. They can only rely on each other so much before it becomes too closed. Zim doesn’t understand human love. Dib is so starved for affection he’ll love anyone who gives it, and have you seen him? He attached to Mr. Dwicky only because he said he believed him. If he wants to get into any sort of relationship, he needs to set some sort of boundary first. He’s not going to do that with Zim, and if Zim does set boundaries, they’re going to be enforced very roughly.

Zim has never gotten any praise in his sad pathetic life. If he does, it’s all he’ll focus on. The one thing he wants is respect and attention. Other than sucking up to superiors, the other way he gets the respect he wants is with fear. Not just respect, even, but a power dynamic that puts him above the other person. See Prisoner 777 and his children and his multiple threats to anyone who he might want to intimidate. He’s not completely prickly, yes, but the anger and brashness he displays is very thick as well as very hard to put down. It takes a lot of coaxing to get anything positive out of him.

Zim likes fear. It’s something that makes him feel superior. He feels more comfortable when he has any sort of advantage. We see him take glee in showing his Tallest or fellow Irkens how he’s the greatest. How of course he’s right and brilliant, he’s Zim. This barely needs to be said, but he has a massive ego. Not to mention his feelings on all humans in general. Filthy, dirty, stupid, inept, deserving of Irken control. He’s hardly eager to get into a relationship with one.

This is where I would mention that they are similar which, while that would give them common ground, is often one of the dealbreakers in actual relationships. If people are too similar, fights often run back and forth for hours. They don’t know how to take in this often painful mirror image. They know every inch of the person before knowing them. They don’t know how to communicate. For Dib and Zim specifically, it would be emotionally damaging as opposed to eye-opening. Neither like being reminded that they’re wrong, or that there’s something wrong with them. They have similar problems, which neither can fix because they’re still pushing back dealing with their own. It would be a circle of hurt, even unintentionally. They might both love the transactional attention, but that would only lead to them believing they need each other, and feeling more comfortable in the obligatory attention the other provides. Because a lack of attention would make them feel their relationship isn’t working. It’s built on the need for an audience and praise.

But they don’t need transactional attention. They need someone who can listen. They need someone who can give another perspective, but if they’re two mirror images, the light only bounces back. They would get nowhere.

Even if it, miraculously, wasn’t filled with bitterness or intentional hurt, the two would be stuck. It would hardly be good for an Irken, who has a completely different moral code and different form of hurt, to be with a human, who is only marginally more self-aware.

I have a lot of feelings about this specific part of the fandom and am up for talking about it more or criticisms.

[magpiefngrl]

whats the easiest thing you find to write and the hardest? And why do you think that is? e.g dialogue, action, description, flashbacks, letters, chapter titles (LOL), smut, etc?

Hello!

Chapter titles LOL! They can be hard, right? I only ever used chapter titles in 9 ½ Days and they were locations, but I'm actually using them in my original romance. They're not super imaginative or whatever, but my instinct says to come up with a title for each chapter, and so that's what I do.

OK so easiest things for me to write:

--dialogue. Idk if "easy" is the right word, because I do spend a ginormous amount of time revising it. It's A. a very important aspect of writing for me, B. something I always notice in other stories whether good or bad, and C. I'm pretty pleased with my dialogue in many fics and I consider it a strength of mine. So, Idk if I it's an easy thing for me to write, or simply something I care a lot about and so I don't mind the effort required to get it right.

--descriptions. I enjoy writing descriptions and making a setting evocative and vivid. I often see people on tumblr say that they struggle with them, but for me it was never an issue. Idk why this is an easy thing for me. Possibly because when I went backpacking a long time ago, I'd write regular emails to a list of friends and I'd have to describe where I was? (it was before social media, so no insta or facebook with the uploading of images to show what a destination looked like. No cheating. I had to rely on words.) Perhaps that was good training. I was away for months. I also love creating atmosphere and mood in my stories, and descriptions are a way to do that. I enjoy them--maybe it's as simple as that.

Hardest things for me to write:

--plot. Ugh. UGH. U G H . I'm mostly a pantser, I discover the story as I write, which is often a joy (I was so surprised at how some of my stories developed), but it's also, very often, a nightmare. I think I'm getting better at coming up with plot, but it's not something I do easily.

--exposition. I do wonder: does anyone find this easy? Exposition is such a fkn nightmare. There's zero joy in this lol. Figuring out how to let the reader know necessary information in an organic way, at the moment they need it, without overwhelming them with details or underwhelming them so they're lost, and to make it as seamless and invisible as possible: this is so fkn hard. And it's something fanfic doesn't really prepare one for, so I've no skill for it.

Hard but enjoyable challenges:

--voice. When I get the right voice for a story, the words flow. That isn't particularly hard. The hard part is coming up with it. Figuring it out. Involves a lot of trial and error.

--the relationship progression. 9 ½ Days took forever to write, precisely because it required taking two people who hated each other in chapter one and gradually, organically, slowly but not too slowly because I wasn't planning to write 200k, making them fall in love. It's tricky. I've read publ. romances where this falls flat. Either they get together too quickly or too slowly or too abruptly. One day they're at each other's throats, the next they're in love, and you feel you missed a step or a chapter or something. In fandom, many fics often begin with the two characters already in love with each other, but that means the most significant part of the romance has happened off page. It's not something I'm interested in writing. I mainly write romance these days, so nailing a good relationship progression is my main challenge, but one that interests me.

Thanks for the ask!

ask me about writing

[estethell]

We hardly know anything about Nori and Dori, but since you enjoy drawing them, I was wondering if you have any headcanons that flesh out their personalities, skills, or likes and dislikes? 😊

What did you ask meeeeeeee!! Thanks to heart @sotwk for asking me to talk about them and how I imagine them, I have a whole huge headcanon in my head about them that I have extensively described in my fics that I can talk about them for days, but here I will write only the essentials!!!

-Nori- Let's start with Nori, my lovely Nori ❤

In my fanfiction "An unlikely friendship, an impossible love" I imagined how dwarf society was structured in the Blue Mountains and how they lived before starting the Quest for Erebor. In this context (which I won't explain here because otherwise too long, but if anyone wants to know more my askbox is always open 👀) Nori fits like a sour note! Nori is a thief who robs fools and drunks, he is very good at what he does and is known and feared in his environment. I like to think of Nori as an unbalanced character, in the sense that he is really skilled as a thief and as a con man but really incapable in social relationships as he hasn't developed any due to his lifestyle, in fact he is very awkward in establishing a relationship even only of friendship with Bofur. In the fic I explain how Nori chose to become a thief to help his brothers find honest work in order to live and then, when he could leave and devote himself to honest work, Nori had difficulty doing it because he was too addicted to the infamous life. I imagine Nori as a person who is extremely aware of his abilities and very arrogant, but also very insecure inside about what he doesn't know and afraid of showing weaknesses to others. Also, he has a good soul and is very kind to the people he cares about, but he can experience very intense feelings such as strong jealousies or great anger. He is a sanguine person who however managed to hide everything behind a mask of cold rationality in order to survive in the harsh world of the street!!

In a beautiful project that I haven't delved into anything yet (I hope sooner or later this project will be born because it's really beautiful), modern AU, Nori is a character who uses a mask of arrogance and confidence to hide a deep suffering and fear caused by the his criminal lifestyle, bringing with him the pain of having lived a very difficult childhood.

-Dori- Instead, I have deepened the character of Dori in two different fics. In the fanfiction "An unlikely friendship, an impossible love", Dori is the older brother who constantly argues with Nori and does not trust him because he is disappointed in his choices, he suffers because he blames himself for the choices made by his brother and tries in every way to protect Ori for fear that he will fail in his role as brother major again. But the best characterization that I have given to Dori is found in the fanficition "A bad temper". Here I imagine Dori as a dwarf with an extremely difficult character, he's whiny, picky, always in a bad mood and serious, he's not really good company. But in reality, it turns out that he's so strict because he feels a deep duty to look after and protect his siblings and he's based his life on that. Because of this, pleasure does not exist for him, only duty exists! But thanks to Balin, Dori slowly begins to melt away and we discover that in reality Dori is a dwarf with very strong maternal feelings, a very delicate dwarf who is easily injured and that is why he has raised an armor around him.

In the project I mentioned above, Dori is an older brother who lived his adolescence badly in a family where in fact he was the point of reference despite his age and who tried to deal with the whole situation with violence, to then mature into a refined and educated adult who likes beautiful things and who is deeply ashamed of his past.

Thank you so much for allowing me to talk about them and how i image them because I really love them and I imagined a lot of headcanon about them!!!

[kurenaicrush]

Kurenai Nikki Entry 15

Talking about my future as an artist.

My love for creating art has died. I forced myself to work on a manga that I lost interest in for over a year. After finally finishing that manga, I've escaped my toxic mindset and am allowed to draw whatever I want. So then I thought why not make some fanart?! I could draw all my favorite characters and it would also help me build an audience on social media! I started doing a lot of sketches of random characters, but I just couldn't be bothered to finish any of them. I just wasn't emotionally invested into the drawings of those characters. Fanart just isn't fun for me anymore. And I think I had an ulterior motive for wanting to make fanart. I wanted to use it as a way to build an audience. I always thought to myself “Can't put on a good show without an audience!” The truth is I didn't actually care about what I was drawing. I just wanted to get attention so I could have eyes on my next big project. 

Another thing that ruined art for me is perfectionism. I always tried to draw every single thing to the best of my ability every time. I'd always hate every drawing I'd make because it would never match the great vision I had in my head. Sadly my art skills are not on par with my imagination. I've desperately tried to reach a level of skill I can be satisfied with. I always train in my sketchbook, trying to perfect the skills I've learned. But no matter how good I get I can never seem to make art satisfying to me. I honestly hate perfectionism, it really holds you back. Something could be beautiful, but I wouldn't be able to see it because I'd be too focused on what's “wrong” with it. I showed a wip sketch to a friend and they made a recommendation on something that I should fix. It was a really minor thing and it was helpful, but after seeing that comment I didn't even want to finish the drawing anymore. I was just so done. Why should we care so much? (Also sorry friend if you happen to be reading this, please don't feel bad!) 

I think I may have a solution to fall back in love with art again, so not all hope is lost! That solution is self indulgence! Complete selfishness in art. I want to go back to my roots and do what made me start loving my art to begin with. I've got a future project I'm working on that I'll refer to as “Project Crimson” for now, can't reveal it yet. Before working on my manga Blight and Hollow, I was doing character concept art for Project Crimson. During that time I was having the most fun with art in my entire life! The reason why that is? I was making the art completely for myself. I wasn't even posting them online and I didn't care if even a single person saw the drawings. I wasn't thinking about building an audience or future career to make money with art, none of that mattered to me at the time. I need to go back to that! Also it's time to throw away perfection! Forget anatomy, forget perspective, forget all these so called right and wrongs! It's MY art, so for now on I'm doing it MY way. These rules don't apply to me anymore. The only thing that matters now is if something is visually appealing to me. I don't care if something is “fundamentally correct” or not. There are no art fundamentals in my world, I'm throwing it all away. There will be no more right or wrong way to make art. Relieving myself of these restrictions is how I'll be able to enjoy creating again! In these dark times I'm living in, I still have my love and passion for my project, so I think it's time I go back to my self indulgent creation of my own little world!

[quornesha]

Prophecy And Symbolism of the 5-Spotted Hawk Moth

The Following Channel is from higher powers, Divine, the ancestral plane and is prophetic through Quornesha S. Lemon|

Whether the 5-spotted Hawk Moth appears in dreams, visions, waking life or synchronicities, it is a sign and message that in this season, others are warned to play with you at their own risk. The divine will not play about you. There’s a 5th dimensional layer of protection over you. You yourself are beyond this realm/world. You have many abilities that are beginning to come to the forefront of your life. You are beginning to see things in 3’s which is confirmation.

Everything anyone even thinks about that is wrong against you, will fail. Justice and karma is being sped up, your enemies will run back to you asking for you to lift things off of them, but it is not YOUR doing, it is divine’s. Know this, whatever you’re doing is in alignment with God’s will and plan for your life. If you’re not currently, you will soon in the immediate future. You’re walking your purpose, and are in alignment with heaven. You are reminded to LET PEOPLE WALK AWAY. If it no longer serves their purpose to be with you, let them leave, someone far better, that exceeds what you’ve been praying for will replace them. Divine does not want you to chase anyone.

Whose for you is still on the way. That’s friendships, relationship, marriage, partnerships, business, etc. Whatever the case may be. Be authentic, open your heart and love on people. How they treat you is their karma. Whoever fumbles you after you’ve sown good seeds will meet the same measure that Divine’s enemies have been met with. Judas Iscariot, Pharoah, and the like. Whoever betrays you, also betrays Divine, whoever backstabs you also backstabs Divine, whoever curses you, also curses Divine. Allow people to be exactly who they are. It is SAFE for you to love. Allow your light to illuminate every room you walk into. If you already have your divine connection then the bad will become resolved quickly and easily. Not a single person is without flaws. As you love people, you are loving God/divine, as you’re good to people you’re being good to God/divine. Your enemies will receive the accommodation owed to them, Karma.

Where you once rejected, you will be approved, where you once low you will rise higher, from being manufactured to the mansions, from being alone to having a community of supporters. The only words that will be able to come out of people’s mouths are YOU ARE APPROVED, YES, AMEN, AND IT IS DONE. Watch God/divine carry you through this season, wherever the enemy wishes you harm, God will bless. His armies are on alert for you. You are special to divine and the kingdom. Know this, the kingdom is indeed within you. Imagine dreaming big, and God/Divine saying, “It was my plan for you all alone”. A series of big dreams are about to manifest. You deserve this, do not apologize for it. People, will support you.

This message isn't, obviously resonant with all whose paths it crosses, as perhaps you may encounter someone of this vernacular, mastery or skill. Therefore, it is a sign from the universe that you're meant to work with such a person. 

Need further clarity or your own queries answered? Book your own reading as my schedule is full and I do not guarantee a reply on social media regarding this post.

If this is not you, then it is time to get clear to rejoin your tribe or the rest of the world of infinite beings. It's time to bring your light to the forefront. However, if you aren't able to invoke, heal or otherwise on your own, call on the assistance of shamans, healers, intuitive people, etc. to assist you. This synchronicity can possibly have specific meanings for you, it's time to get insight. 

The Gift that Quornesha Has can never be duplicated, She is a Shaman, Writer, Healer,  And Teacher with incredible prophetic/healing gifts. Please do not infringe upon her rights as the author. You are not permitted to reuse, nor are you to sale as you wish. This information has been made available to you for the purpose of introduction and demonstration. All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this in a magazine, online publication, or other, please ask for permission first. Legal actions will be taken if you proceed to impose. Be blessed, bless others and be at peace on your journey. What you do is coming back on you. Make sure that it is good, and all is well within you, through you and around you.  The source sees all and knows what you think it does not. 

[lv-bites]

☢ ✖

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

I'm not sure if this is a fad or a trend, but this idea that villainous characters have to be defanged in order to interact. I think that kind of thought misinterprets what writing a villain means. You shouldn't be picking up a villain so you can punish heroes or the people who write them. It's not about being the strongest in the rpc, it's about writing a character. There are villains who know they're bad and evil and over the top, but many a time, they only refer to themselves as such because they're in direct opposition to the hero's ideals. The hero wants a happy ending with none of the work, as far as the villain is concerned.

Sometimes a villain is 2 dimensional in canon, but fleshing them out shouldn't mean defanging them and making them unlike themselves. There's a worry that they won't be interacted with if they're against the heroes... But RP isn't a one way street. Picking up an antagonist doesn't mean you have to only write threads where they are being beaten up or getting into fights.

Figure out their motivations, imagine how they would behave in different situations. Not everyone is going to like it, but that's okay. Start with something silly... How would your character handle waiting in line for a coffee? Go from there.

There's also this idea that if we sympathize with the antagonist, we are... apologists or something? No, that's just good writing. That's just how stories work. If a story can make you feel compassion for a character you hated at the beginning, then that's not apologism, that's growth. That's good writing. Yes this is about Silco.

It can be bad writing too, but that depends on how it's brought about. Are you blowing your load too early? Are you putting a bunch of lore and backstory in every starter, needing people to sympathize with your character? Are they described as walled off, yet in their first interaction, the walls come down? This is a callout at me specifically.

It's important to find a balance, and to try to write a person rather than a Hero or a Villain. What does your character believe in? What are they willing to do for that belief? Do they consider themselves evil or a villain? Do they know what they are doing is hurting people?

Personally, I dislike any depiction of an antagonist that doesn't know they're hurting someone. It feels like a cop out. It feels like they're a child. I think a truly compelling antagonist is one who sees themself as not a hero, not a villain, but a person willing to do anything to achieve their goals. Their title of villain comes from the hero, not from themselves.

I think that the hate towards villains is a fad that pops up every so often and it feels very much like being in denial. Every one of us is another person's villain. Is that enough to deter us from reaching our goals? No? Then why should it be the case for your character?

If the idea of writing a villain that hurts people is uncomfortable for you, then I recommend not writing a villain at all. That's perhaps too salty.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

I started properly in late 2015 on Tumblr. Before that, I was writing primarily on Dreamwidth. The mentalities are completely different, due to one being a journal website, and the other being a social media blogging website.

I'd say that as the years went by, I noticed a lot more intent on mixing real life issues and politics with the rpc, and this strange control over others if they refused. Accusations on their real life personhood that said they were terrible, evil people. That's very weird to me. On Dreamwidth there was drama but it only ever remained on writing skill and canon elitism.

This mix of activism and hobbies would go on to rip friends apart. I've found shipping drama to be very boring, but the things I'm seeing come out around it concern me. Why this push that wholesome can only mean hand holding or platonic depictions of affection? Why is sex considered unwholesome? I see a lot of posts from people who are uncomfortable with something, but begin to claim that their discomfort is objective truth, and everyone else should fall in line if they're really part of the community. That boggles my mind. I don't think anything like this would ever happen on Dreamwidth. Though it's been a while since I've been to rp_anons.

Things have changed in a way that I think there's more pushes to not write anything that could offend or go against the grain. I think people are terrified of stepping out of line, of sharing their thoughts on something on the dash. It's a community, not a hive mind. We may not all agree, but must we be so unkind to each other?

I see that the RPCs that are based around canons that are family friendly tend to have a surprising amount of vitriol. It's not enough that someone's rules are saying they're okay with writing [blank], they have to be punished... For what?

This environment bleeds and breeds anxiety, ramps it up, has people trying to prove they are good by being willing to turn against whoever is deemed bad without a second thought.

And this is a roleplaying community... We're playing a role, isn't that already indicative that we are not our characters? Why is it so... aggressive?

For those who are like me and suffer from scrupulosity, you're okay. Transformative fiction does not and will not make you a bad person. You are just a person.

Tumblr has gotten worse, I think, with this idea that it is owed people's privacy, whereas on Dreamwidth, that idea was only held by the biggest dramamongers and stalkers. I remember two friends of mine being publicly scolded in a group chat for shipping something in secret. It was found out by a different friend, who screamed at them, telling them they betrayed her for writing that... despite it having nothing to do with her. a ship.

I don't know what it is about tumblr's rpc platform that makes people think they are entitled to other people and their interests, but it doesn't apply here. It's a promise from me.

I will never give a shit about you. /affectionate

What this means is what you do online is your business, always, and none of mine. If you decide to tell me, then that's poggers, but it's not my responsibility. You're an adult, you can take care of yourself. I just want you to be able to have fun, to enjoy yourself. To indulge in whatever you want. I won't remind you not to hurt anyone, I'm not going to patronize you.

This got away from me at the end 😂

[raeseddon]

You're absolute spot fucking on, and I feel like it's important to add that the reason this is the No Reading Comprehension Website is because over the last ten odd years social media has shifted from written posts to visual ones, so people are just reading less, and fan fiction is by nature only written at the author's reading comprehension level so it doesn't challenge the people reading it.

(Which is the thing people who only read fan fiction tend to get really up in arms about-- "I don't want to be challenged!" only to then get upset when people rightly point out they have zero reading comprehension skills. At least people who have English as a second language have a reason to struggle. The reason native English speakers Of A Certain Generation struggle is because they're of the "if I can't do something perfectly on the first try, I just won't do it" generation, and you can't do that with reading comprehension. It takes practice, it takes being willing to mess up and not like, have a meltdown about it, which the Chronically In Fandom and Chronically Online just aren't fucking capable of.)

It was bad enough Twitter limited you to 140 characters for so long, but then Instagram and TikTok came along and as soon as people realized there was an option where they didn't have to read anything at all unless they had auditory issues (it took a while to get people to caption their videos for the auditory-processing impaired, which a lot of people don't remember these days because it's just done as a matter of course now) they latched onto it and haven't really looked back.

And I hate to say it, but asking them to ask another person (even anonymously on the internet) what a piece of text means may as well be asking them to chew their own foot off-- the generation that's most likely to react to and reblog things because they recognize buzzwords is simultaneously the least capable of admitting to not understanding the things outside of those buzzwords. The kids (and young adults) these days don't have any idea how to process emotions like embarrassment at not knowing something in a healthy way, so they do everything in their power to avoid them-- even if it makes them the perfect targets for misinformation. If it has the buzzwords, they hit that button, because buzzwords = Number Go Up On Social Media-- context is irrelevant. I've literally seen people reblog in agreement with a social just cause and against in the same minute just because the posts contained the same buzzwords.

This problem has been building up steam for a long time, and the only way I can imagine even beginning to course correct is to nuke Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok (Twitter is doing a good job of nuking itself but until every single industry abandons it and it's only Nazis and other extremists, it'll limp along.)

So on my posts about racism or transmisogyny, I often see tags that basically say “I don’t understand this but I’m going to reblog it anyway.” If you see a “social justice” type post that you want to reblog but don’t understand?

Don’t.

I know this goes against everything you’re used to hearing on this website, but listen. Reblogging posts you don’t understand is basically the equivalent of blindly repeating whatever you’re told. Even if you’re right, if you don’t understand why you’re right, you could be spouting utter bullshit and you wouldn’t even know it.

When I see “I don’t know what this means but I’m gonna reblog it anyway” it sends a lot of messages. It says that you care more about seeming right than being right. It says that you want good ally credit without any of the work of being a good ally. It says you’re on my side because I can make a post sound good, not because you actually agree with me on anything beyond the surface level.

So instead of just reblogging that post, save it for later. Like it, draft it, bookmark it, whatever. Go to the op’s blog and skim through a couple of pages, see if you can find some context. If the post is old, you could try asking for context in a non-condescending way. “Is this post referring to something specific?” is a lot better than, say, “Does this even happen? I’ve never heard of this.”

If that doesn’t help, do some more research. Google, search tumblr tags for recent posts on a subject, ask people who have EXPLICITLY stated they are willing to educate. Maybe in the process you’ll find more posts with a similar message to the original, but in easier to understand language. Maybe someone else already added a reply that adds useful information onto the op.

And maybe all of that takes a long time. Maybe, by the time you finally understand what the post was talking about, it’s months old and no longer relevant. Maybe you don’t even want to reblog it anymore. Who cares, fuck that post. You learned and grew as a person. That’s more important than looking good on a blog.

[evelynndecipio-blog]

Dear Nightingale,

I will begin my letter with an extension of my deepest apologies – school has been quite hectic as of late. Our letters had quite embarrassingly slipped my mind. It was never my intention to disregard our conversations.

Having had some time to ponder our conversation regarding the social ladder, I suppose I can relate to your argument, at least to a certain degree. To me, the ladder will always be a little silly – I mean, take it from someone who’s been just about everywhere on the ladder in terms of money and popularity. The statistics will always change with the times, but they never change who you are. At least, they shouldn’t. Anyways, you do have a point in saying that popularity will provide wiggle room in the right situations. This is not so much the case for me, however – I don’t get along with the teachers very well at all, for instance, and a good portion of my classmates don’t really appreciate my brash actions and opinions. In this regard, my ‘popularity’ and ‘fame’ don’t get me very far, save for Quidditch discussions, and occasionally a favor from a starry-eyed first year. Most upperclassmen are regarded with awe at some point in their stay at Hogwarts, courteous of the younger ones, so I’m not that special in that way.

Furthermore, status also offers the stress of expectation – for instance, think of a well-known singer on the muggle radio. I’m sure you can imagine the pressure they may face when composing a new album or going out in public and facing those they cater to. Popularity in school is a lot like this, if not on a smaller scale. People expect me to serve my house well in Quidditch or use my Gryffindor ‘bravery’ to get myself and others out of sticky situations. Even more of my classmates expect me to break noses and collect detentions. (Although I would like to proudly note that I have yet to experience a detention during my stay at Hogwarts.) It kind of pisses me off a little, because these rumors and evaluations made of me by nosy onlookers aren’t in the least who I am. People like drama, so of course they enjoy my shortcomings. In this regard, I don’t really feel all that inclined to entertaining people because they think I have a pretty face or flashy personality. I just kind of want to do my thing, if that makes sense. If people watch, they watch. That’s where my concern for pretenses end.

Moving on to other topics, though I suppose this one’s somewhat connected to the initial one. Attention’s not that great. I’m sure your mother’s given you the ‘good and bad’ attention conversation at some point? If not, you can look it up over the summer or something. Anyways, my point in bringing it up is, it takes a lot of energy to receive attention – at least, in my experience – so if you’re going to receive it from anyone, wouldn’t you rather receive it from someone who amuses you equally? Or I don’t know, just makes you feel happy when you’re around them? I mean. Of course, that’s not what friends are for in the long run, but what kind of friend makes you feel shitty horrible about yourself every time you’re around them?

And, if we’re still talking about friends. I’m glad you’ve stumbled upon that revelation. Have you found anyone in the time since we’ve talked? I mean, yeah, there are plenty of reasons that being alone might be better. But like. Being alone is so lonely. Wow, that was so eloquent. Okay, but before you grab your pitchfork and come at me 0_0, just – take it from someone who literally could not leave their house for three years. Being alone is really, really not good for you. And it doesn’t really matter if it’s selective isolation, does it? Because you still miss out on the social skills and general excitement of having people around you. I mean, this is going to sound kind of pointed, so please don’t think I’m coming at you when I say this. I’d noticed this further down in your letter, when you’d made a contrast between numbers and people – don’t you think saying ‘having friends is stupid’ is just… an excuse for you being too scared to make them? I won’t pry, because it’s really not my place. We can leave the topic here if you’d like, or you can just ignore my statement altogether.

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To be honest, I haven’t been focusing on the previous ball’s drama all that much over the past few months. Part of me has just selectively forgotten about it all – though I probably have a notebook stashed away somewhere with plenty of information regarding my findings. Perhaps I could gift it to you or something. I’m reluctant to put such information in a letter, however, where it can be readily available to anyone – if a message can be decoded by you, surely in the hands of a more capable adult a lot of damage could be wrought. (This is not meant to offend you – my supposition is that you’re quite smart! You asked further down in your letter what I made of your house situation… if anything, I’d say you’re a Ravenclaw. You may laugh, because I’m probably wrong. You haven’t made guessing very easy!)

Okay, okay. I’m just gonna say it. I’m sure you’ve noted by now that I’m not exactly a people-pleaser. Crushes just stress me out, because, you know, here’s someone opening up to you about their feelings and sometimes you just… can’t reciprocate them. I’m not the type to lead someone on. But I know if I were in their shoes, I would hate myself for being rejected. Rejection universally sucks. At least, it should. Actually, on that tangent – If we’re talking about crushes, I’m curious. You obviously didn’t have a crush at the time of your last letter – and whether you do now is really none of my business. But surely you have a preference, right? Girls or boys? I mean, physically? Mentally? Like, what would the perfect partner look like to you? (I’m only asking because I always hear it from my sister’s friends whenever they come over. Hearing what other people are into can get quite entertaining – though, if it’s not something you wish to talk about, I understand.)

Is London nice? I guess so, if you’re into that sort of thing. To be honest, I haven’t seen much of it outside of Barking. It’s prettier that Buenas Aires, in some ways. A lot cleaner, a little colder – and the weather’s always a bit ugly, but that may just be my weather snob talking. I miss tropical weather, not gonna lie. Objectively, it’s not the worst place over the pond. As for my mom – no, she’s not really supposed to talk about what goes on around the palace. She’s a staff manager, anyways, so she doesn’t really get involved that much with actual political matters, so there’s not much to talk about, I guess? She just makes sure there’s food in the pantry and that everyone’s doing their job the right way. Takes inventory on the artifacts, you know, that stuff. I think she likes her job, though, despite her not sharing that much.

Sheesh, I don’t know how you get the courage to maneuver an animal like that. I mean – yeah, it’s not got jagged teeth or claws, but. How do people learn to ride horses, anyways? I can imagine it’s a lot harder than broom work, as in the sky you’re relying on your own skill rather than that of the horse as well. I don’t know that much about horses, but your horse sounds lovely. You speak highly of her, anyways, so I will assume my supposition to be true.

In response to your questions –

I | As far as sports go, I’ve played just about every sport under the sun, save for American Football. To be honest, it’s always been kind of a dumb sport, and none of my friends were ever overly interested in giving it a go. Anything with a ball was in, any weather-related sports like hockey or ice-skating were out. My most prominent sport is probably football – if I weren’t a wizard, I’d love to play in a professional league.

II | Ah, this is a loaded question. Am I allowed to say my own team? I mean, it just hits different when you get to work with people and see how much they put into their practicing. My second-favorite team would probably be Slytherin, though – they’re not season winners, but they really hit hard. I hope one day Gryffindor’s offense can be as devastating as theirs.

III | Maybe New York? Or Tokyo? One of those places. Both cities are just so big and fast-paced… or maybe Valparaiso. It’s this port city in Chile that’s supposed to be absolutely unreal. Very colorful, lots of street life, you know? It’s late when I write this, my English is failing me.

IV | For me, I think it was always either Gryffindor or Slytherin. I’m not nice enough to be a Hufflepuff, and my academics aren’t exactly on-par with the Ravenclaw trend. I guess at first, I was ecstatic I’d been sorted into Gryffindor – you know, House of Potter and all that jazz. Nowadays I don’t think it matters all that much. Groups of people are groups of people. If the hat thinks I’m better off hanging with a bunch of snakes, or bird brains, or badgers, I guess it’s not a big deal. Though I will say I’ve grown quite fond of my friends in Gryffindor. Once a lion, always a lion!

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As for pets at school, I actually have an owl! His name is Batman though he only answers to Steve. Real bitchy bird. But he’s a good flyer so? At least I’m getting my letters on time.

Okay, my turn for questions – though I’m feeling pretty brain dead so. Apologies in advance. 1| If you could just pick up a new talent like that, what would it be and why? 𝟤| Are you musically inclined in any way? If not, are there any artistic talents you’d like to share? 𝟥| You have ten minutes to speak with one person right now, dead or alive – who are they? 𝟦| Are you happy with how the progression of your school year has gone so far? If not, is there anything you’d prefer to change or do-over? 𝟧| I’m correct in assuming you’re a muggle, right? I only say this because I vaguely recall you speaking of the pandemic inhibiting your travels home. If so, are there any things you envy of those with magical upbringing? If not, are you entertained by the notions of muggle technology?

I truly enjoyed writing to you again. These letters are always enjoyable to read back upon – apologies if I’ve reiterated anything I’ve already stated in previous letters. Given that it’s been so long, I don’t quite remember what I’ve written to you about.

Sincerely,

Thunderbird

PS. Like the new stationary? I got it for Christmas – this is the first time I’ve used it. :3

[summerlycoris]

Actually, now im thinking about it, Tony and Mami have similar but distinct character flaws that ultimately lead to their doom in similar ways. It all comes down to trust, and lack of it.

Like for Tony? What sets him up to fail is being so willing to unravel the mystery of GGY, even when people warn him repeatedly- his parents, crystal- that he needs to be careful with either investigative journalism, and especially with sticking his nose into GGYs business. But he cant help himself- even after Crystals warning, he hands in that story based on GGY, and even goes to investigate further.

His big character flaw? Working by himself, and not working with his friends. Imagine, what would the three amigos had created together if Tony hadnt rushed off to make a story without them, if hed actually used his social skills to talk to his friends instead of a multitude of strangers, and convonce them to help him? It wouldnt have been the GGY story, thats for sure. It wouldve probably been more fictional, if Ellis and Greg had worked on it to begin with. And Greg probably wouldve suggested a better idea than researching some high scores on the arcades.

Just. Including his friends and trusting them to work with him wouldve saved his life by preventing him from ever getting on GGYs bad side.

And the thing that seals his fate? Is trusting Greg, and not putting 2+2 together to get "Omg, my new friend killed the therapists. And may kill me if I dont keep my mouth shut." If he does go to the pizzaplex with Greg afterwards... rip. Its over, rover.

For Mami? What sets her up to fail is making her wish and becoming a magical girl. Shes unlike any of the other magical girls in pmmm- she makes a wish selfishly, purely for her own benefit- begging Kyubey to save her life. Even if, she could have used that wish to save her whole family from the car accident. I cant blame her- she wouldve been scared to death, and just begging for anything that could help her at that point. And we know from later, that making wishes on behalf of others (like Homura, Sayaka, and Kyouko did) can also lead to tragedy.

But making that wish, regardless of how understandable it was, doomed her to be a magical girl. A fate theres only two ways out of. You die a magical girl, or you die a witch.

Her character flaw, of sorts, is similar to, but distinct, from Tonys. She works primarily by herself, like him. But she has wanted to work with other magical girls before, its just never really worked out. Shes made efforts in the past to work with others, and does a good job when with them. In timelines where madoka becomes a magical girl, they work together, alongside Sayaka, Homura and Kyouko sometimes. For the most part, she pulls off working by herself as well as she does working in a team. Shes self sufficiant, she can win her fights pretty easily using years of experience. Shes given chances to get out of her fate- Homura warns her against taking Madoka and Sakaya with her to battle Charlotte, warns her not to go. But she doesnt listen to Homura, instead ties her up out if the way. She doesnt trust Homura enough to let her help, because Homura keeps trying to kill Kyubey.

Working by herself in this timeline, having no family or friends to confide in, leaves her lonely. It leaves her susceptable to...

What ultimately kills her. Its trusting Madoka and Sayaka in the current timeline. Neither girls are magical girls at that point, but Mami learns to trust them in battle, despite that they cant actually help her in battle. She stops behaving in her self sufficiant manner, and thats what lets Charlotte get the drop on her. Mami got so used to working on her own, relying on herself, that the minute she thought she could get a reprieve from her loneliness, she dooms herself.

Theyre both just. You can track the trajectory of their tragedy, from the little mistakes they make. To the flaws that ultimately doom them. And in both cases, its trusting someone who cant be trusted. Madoka cant save Mami from Charlotte- she cant even save herself- shes not a magical girl! She and Sayaka just cling to one another as Kyubey begs then to pact with him and make a wish. Without Homura being set free after Mamis death- from the trap Mami put her in in the first place- both the girls wouldve also veeb eaten.

Tony, like Mami, made a very human mistake- trusting his new friend even if theres red flags that his 'new friend' isnt who he says he is.

I am definitely not making much sense. Its been forever since I watched PMMM and Ive DEFINITLY got stuff wrong because im tired and dumb rn but like. I needed to write this down before my brain imploded so uhhhh. Bye!