#i hate myself bc now i wanna play through my own au. it sucks

[hychlorions]

today i ignored all my schoolwork because i wanted to see what giving apollo a gift would be like if he were in stardew. then i spent 5000g to make myself into a walmart klavier bc i didn't want to draw him. and then i realized i could make fake cutscenes for my stardew au—

[sarah-snook]

di’s masterlist

main ❀ ko-fi ❀ ao3

♡MULTICHAPTER♡

«Burn, Crash, Romance (I’ll Take What I Can Get From You)» AO3 ↬ word count: 2919 | rating: E | WIP - 1/8 chapters | collab with @richietoizer

Richie didn’t know Eddie very well, not that he would want to, and even just looking at him now, he knew that Eddie Kaspbrak was exactly all the things that Richie had tried to tell Stanley that frat boys were. His brown hair flopped into his brown eyes, pressed down by some red snapback worn backwards and beige khaki jeans that looked glued to his legs. He was hot and the smirk on his face showed that he knew it.

«How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 6496 | rating: T | WIP - 3/5 chapters

He finds it in the library. The book is tucked between a couple of self-help books that Mike told him he should look into reading. It’s out of place—doesn’t belong there—but the title peaks his curiosity. How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead. He grabs the spine of the book and gently holds it in his hand, inspecting it. There’s no author, no other information, just a title and a short dedication of sorts on the first page. “For those that have hope still lingering in their hearts…” He looks around, making sure no one is watching him before he swiftly hides the small book in the pocket of his jacket.

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♡ONESHOTS♡

«Brave» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 809 | rating: T

He was trembling. Despite the darkness surrounding them, and the shitty dim light of the flashlight he was holding, Richie could tell that Eddie was trembling with fear. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, touch him, hold him. He wanted to tell Eddie that everything would be alright, that they would get through this.

«Coffee Shop Angel» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 2218 | rating: T

“Wow, I’ve never been called a literal angel before.” He’s no longer laughing, but his smile is wide and his eyes were still bright.

“Baby, that should be considered a damn crime,” he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You deserve to be worshipped.”

«Cold November Rain» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1512 | rating: T

He was an idiot. A stupid, cowardly jerk. Why had he run away? That kiss had been everything he could have ever wanted. It was soft, tender and loving. Richie had put so much emotion behind that kiss. So much, that it had scared Eddie. Scared him so much that he made himself believe it was all some kind of joke.

«Don’t Monkey Around With My Heart» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1228 | rating: T

«Forget the Past, I Want You In My Future» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3477 | rating: T

He quickly pulled on his coat, making his way through the radio station with a smile as he waved to everyone who greeted him. ‘Keep smiling. You’re almost out of here. Just a couple more steps.’ Richie thought to himself as he pushed open the front doors and stepped outside, cold air hitting him and a chill running down his spine. He hugged himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm himself up.

He made his way down the stone steps of the station entrance, fishing through his jacket pocket for his car keys. The last thing he thought, as his fingers made contact with the cold metal of his keys and his foot slipped on a slippery patch of ice, was how much he really fucking hated Christmas.

[or: radio DJ Richie Tozier slips on ice and has to spend Christmas in hospital, with trainee Doctor Kaspbrak looking after him.]

«Habeas Your Corpus» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 6654 | rating: E

A beautiful blond between his legs was not the direction he thought his Monday would be going, but he wasn’t going to question it. Even if a part of him knew that doing this in a courtroom, where anyone could walk in on them at any moment, was a horrible idea. Then again, Richie wasn’t known for his good ideas, much less for his common sense, and so he shrugged away any lingering doubt as he surrendered to the feeling of Eddie’s hands.

«Held In Contempt» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3044 | rating: E

Richie and Eddie resolve the sexual tension between them after arguing about one of their cases.

prompt: “okay but reddie au where they’re rival lawyers and court is really tense bc eddie goes by the books and richie is Richie and ofc they end up fucking after a particularly heated case…or 6…”

«How to Know If You’re On a Date With Your Best Friend» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 2213 | rating: T

He could see the way Richie looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, eyes slowly widening as he realized Eddie was coming over to sit next to him. Plopping down on the seat, he pushed Richie further into the booth, making himself comfortable. Without breaking eye contact, he placed his straw in Richie’s milkshake glass and asked, “Are we on a date right now?”

«Kiss Me By The Firelight» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1247 | rating: T

“Alright trashmouth, truth or dare?”

He looked over at Beverly, who had plopped down next to him, with a weary expression on his face. He studied her, the mischievous grin on her face not going unnoticed by an already alert Richie.

“Dare, obviously. Only pussies choose truth.”

«Kissed the Mark» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3975 | rating: E

“Sorry, but you’re gonna have to tell me more than just your name before I let you put your hands on me.” Eddie jokes as he nods his head at Bev in thanks for their drinks. “I’m not that easy.”

“Oh ok, hmm let me think…” Richie says as he pretends to think about what he’s going to say “I like long walks on the beach and being the little spoon, plus I’m a total bottom.”

Eddie flushes at this, turning his head to avoid eye contact with Richie, and takes a sip of his beer. Richie continues to look at him, enjoying the way he continuously makes the other man blush. “What about you?”

«Love Me (If That’s What You Wanna Do)» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1286 | rating: M

It was hard to say who exactly started it. After all, both of them were slightly tipsy the night The Kiss happened. All Richie could say—as his hand slowly slid down Eddie’s back, causing him to let out a faint whimper—was that he was very happy with the outcome of it all.

«Make It Up To You» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 4612 | rating: E

Maybe it was a little fucked up that he took considerable pleasure in watching his boyfriend of almost ten years cry as Richie denied him what he wanted most, but he couldn’t bring himself to care so much. If Eddie had caught on to his little guilty pleasure, he never mentioned it to Richie, and if he had an issue with the way Richie teased him in bed, he would have definitely called him out on it by now.

«Snowed Inn» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 4612 | rating: E

Richie and Eddie are carpooling home from college for the holidays but a snowstorm hits on their way there and they have to stay the night at a b and b.

«The Future Freaks Me Out» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 932 | rating: T

“I’ll tell you one thing and one thing only spaghetti. I don’t want to think about a future where you’re not in it. I don’t want to think about you being on the opposite side of this country from me. I don’t want to think about any of that because I love you and it hurts. So please, shut the fuck up about college applications already!”

«Until I Hear It From You» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1599 | rating: T

“M-my parents sucked.” Bill said as he choked back a sob. “I mean… my own father hit me with his fucking car and then barely batted an eye. I’m terrified that I’ll fuck this up, Eddie. I don’t want to be a bad father, I want Ellie to have all the love and attention that Georgie and I never got growing up. You and Rich have two adorable daughters that have everything they could ever want…That’s what I want for Ellie. Please, Eddie, tell me how to be a good father.”

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

♡PROMPTS♡

Hanslon ↬“I finally found you”

Reddie ↬ 🎉👄🤒 ↬ 🐿🍌👙 ↬ “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” + 2. Road Trip AU ↬ “H-How long have you been standing there?” ↬ “You’re sick, let me take care of you.” ↬ “You make me want things I can’t have!” ↬ the gang is playing a drinking game and Eddie wins, and he wants a lapdance from Richie ↬ “You know you don’t have to try so hard with me, right?” ↬ “Are you jealous? That’s cute.” ↬ “Oh, God. We broke it–dude, he’s gonna be so pissed! This is all your fault–it was your idea!” + “… Is that my underwear?” + “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” ↬ “they said that broken mirror equals in 7 years of bad luck”? ↬ “It’s three in the morning!” ↬ “just because i love eds it doesn’t mean i want to be with him,” eddie heard richie say. «2» ↬ “you know I love you, right?” «2» ↬ “Do you want me to?” «2» ↬ “And what exactly do you think you’re doing, my love?” ↬ You’ve literally dressed as __ for __ years, shouldn’t you change it up? ↬ You drank the punch at the halloween party and made yourself sick so I’m taking care of you ↬ excuse you, i will never be too old to go trick-or-treating and i hear the house down the street gives out full sized candy bars ↬ In the bedroom + Confessing feelings ↬ in the snow + relief ↬ claws - as an apology here’s something I wrote for you ↬ Okay but like Richie finally comes out by writing his first comedy special on his own as like therapy to work through what happened and the whole thing is about the dumb annoying hypochondriac that he was in love with as a kid. “He put his feet in my face and kicked of my glasses and I said to myself he’s the fucking one.” ↬ ficlet for my moodboard based on “he knew well enough” ↬ “I may be short, but you could at least try to make kissing you easier!” ↬ “One baby won’t hurt.” ↬ “I could spend hours just looking at you.”

Richiepat ↬ “you asked me out and I didn’t have time for dating between a full-time course load and my job(s), so I know it’s two semesters later but I’d really like to take you up on that date” + “we always end up eating alone in the school cafeteria at the same time, so when you ask me if you can join me, I’m surprised” ↬ chaotic best friends (platonic with stanpat/reddie) ↬ “My hoodie looks comfy on you.” (platonic with side reddie)

Stanpat ↬ you’re obsessed with my homemade soup that I serve at my cafe and I’m too embarrassed to tell you that I’ve only been trying out new recipes to see you get excited for the soup of the day.

Stanpatchie ↬ “a kiss as a promise”

Steddie ↬ “I catch you yelling at the printer in the library for not working and I don’t mean to alarm you since you’re clearly stressed, but I think you accidentally unplugged it”

Stozier ↬ “some idiots decided it would be funny to mess with peoples’ laundry so now we’re sorting through our dryers and you’re holding up my pink underwear” ↬ “I know you’re mad at me, but will a kiss change your mind?” ↬ “Nothing is going to happen to you.” ↬ can we talk about how “it takes hours to look this good richie” is followed by richie winking at stan

Streddie ↬ A cat followed me home and won’t leave me alone even when I put a little hat on it so I guess I have a cat now AU

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♡HEADCANONS♡

↬ Ben // The Sims ↬ Reddie // Sunflowers ↬ Reddie // Chapter 1 End Scene ↬ Stozier and Reddie // Stanley and Richie dated at one point

[squishykpoptummies]

A Magical Halloween

a/n: i literally meant to have this up over a fucking week ago oops but like. better late than never?? (there’s so much dialogue and plot unrelated to kink i’m sorry.) so this is a harry potter au because i’m a fucking nerd and i feel like there’s so much untapped potential there for shit like this. i have a bunch of headcanons, as well as where i think everyone is sorted, so let me know if you’d like to see them? (also i don’t have anyone using honorifics bc they’re in england lol)

--

“It sucks that we don’t celebrate Halloween properly here.”

Ten was sprawled out on one of the squishy couches in the Hufflepuff common room, head in Taeyong’s lap as the older absentmindedly played with Ten’s hair. Though the common room was mostly empty, the few Hufflepuffs there were giving the two a wide berth, still not quite accepting of having a Slytherin in their living space, despite Ten being a consistent fixture for the past three years and proving himself to be (relatively) harmless.

“You say that every year,” Taeyong replied.

“Because it’s the same every year,” Ten whined. “Just some fucking pumpkins and a feast. Trick-or-treating is the best part of Halloween, and you’ve all just fucking done away with it!”

“Most Wizards find trick-or-treating offensive. Your family was a rare case. Also if you keep cursing we’re going to get kicked out.”

Ten hummed. “Halloween is my mum’s favourite holiday.” She’d insisted on taking Ten and his sister trick-or-treating every year until he went to Hogwarts, regardless of if her Wizard husband liked it or not.

“I didn’t know that.”

“It’s my favourite holiday, too.”

“That I knew.”

“Do you think we can institute trick-or-treating this year, Mr. Prefect?”

“Did you miss the part where I said it’s offensive?”

“No, I heard you, I just chose not to listen.”

Taeyong sighed, but smiled fondly. “As soon as we graduate, I promise we’ll go trick-or-treating.”

Ten huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked up at Taeyong, large eyes gazing back. “Wanna know the best part about trick-or-treating?” Ten asked lowly, voice taking on a teasing lilt.

“Sure.”

“Stuffing myself silly with all the candy I get.”

Taeyong flushed pink.

Ten sighed as he sat up, stretching his arms over his head and making sure that his jumper rode up, just a bit, just enough to reveal a sliver of his soft tummy. “Shame we have to wait three years to be able to do that.”

“What if,” Taeyong wet his lips, “what if we start this year?”

“What are you implying?”

“Honeyduke’s had candy.”

--

It was frustratingly easy to sneak into Hogsmeade and back. (“Did you want to get caught?” “Yuta just always made it sound so thrilling, and it wasn’t!” “You do realise he probably makes up most of those stories.” “Fuck off.”)

Smelling of sugar and the butterbeer they stopped into the Three Broomsticks for, they made their way back to the Hufflepuff dorms, bulging bags of Honeyduke’s candy hidden under heavy winter cloaks.

Ten spred out their haul on Taeyong’s bed when they got to his room, Taeyong hanging one of his ties on the door handle before closing it.

“We gonna finish this all today?” Ten asked, separating the chocolate frogs from the peppermint toads.

“If you want,” Taeyong shrugged, sitting on the bed next to Ten and helping with the sorting.

“I want.”

--

Ten did, in fact, finish all the candy (save for a still mostly full box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean that Ten refused to touch after claiming to have gotten a foot-flavoured one) in little under an hour, Taeyong hand-feeding him each piece, followed by making out, sucking Ten off, palming himself through his trousers, leaving them both red and disheveled and panting.

“We should get ready for the feast soon,” Taeyong said a while later.

“You can’t be serious,” Ten groaned.

“Don’t forget that I haven’t eaten yet,” Taeyong said, untangling himself from Ten and starting to vanish the piles of wrappers strewn across the bed and surrounding floor.

“You go then. We wouldn’t be able to sit with each other, anyway. And Doyoung’s gonna make fun of me.”

“Why would he make fun of you?”

“Because it’s pretty obvious that I just ate my weight in candy.” Ten gestured to his stomach, sticking out a good few centimetres even laying down, barely contained by his jumper.

“I think it might be the biggest we’ve ever done…” Taeyong mused, heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, which he tried to will away for now because they really didn’t have time for another round right now.

Ten ran an appraising hand over the curve of it. “Mmm, I’m not sure. I think it’s been bigger.”

Taeyong’s hand joined Ten’s, feeling over the soft skin stretched around the mass of food. He pressed down lightly, and Ten groaned, but it was his ‘I’m really turned on’ groan rather than his ‘I’m in pain’ one. “I think you can eat more,” Taeyong said softly.

“I think you might be right.

--

The Great Hall was in chaos when they arrived, everyone still scrambling to find seats next to their friends, and Taeyong immediately rushed off to the Hufflepuff table to try to contain it. Ten scanned the room until he saw his group of friends at the Slytherin table, Doyoung, sporting bright purple hair that definitely hadn’t been that colour this morning, waving him over. He self-consciously adjusted his robes, and squeezed himself between Doyoung and Jaemin, a third-year that Doyoung had recently adopted.

“The hell did you do to your hair?” Ten asked as he sat down, breath immediately knocked out of him as his trousers cut harshly into the sensitive skin of his belly.

“Jaemin just learnt Colour-Changing Charms.”

“You look like a grape.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I practise on you, too, Ten?” Jaemin asked from his other side.

“Maybe later. I’d look pretty good with aqua, don’t you think?”

Jaemin’s eyes sparkled. “Ooh, yeah, you’d look wicked cool! What if—“

Jaemin was cut off when the numerous dishes in front of them suddenly filled with food, conversation forgotten as the younger boy hurried to fill his plate before all the good stuff was gone.

Ten surveyed the array. Was he hungry? No, not in the slightest. Was he still going to eat? He looked up and met Taeyong’s eyes from across the Hall, flushed cheeks apparent even from this far away. He smirked. He was going to give his boyfriend a good show.

He dug in eagerly, food rich and settling heavy in his stomach, yet taking seconds and thirds because Hogwarts food was honestly irresistible, Taeyong’s gaze burning him all throughout. But, he needed to keep it subtle, God-forbid anyone catch on (though he had to admit that thought sent a thrill of arousal through him).

But Ten was about to explode. And pudding hadn’t even been served yet! He rested his chin in his palm and absentmindedly mashed his fork into his second helping of potatoes. He could still probably eat a bit more, but it’d be a gamble, with the potential of turning painful. Maybe if he unbuttoned his trousers…

“What’d those potatoes ever do to you?” Doyoung broke him out of his reverie.

“They reminded me of your face. That was a terrible retort, sorry, if you give me a minute I’ll think of a better one.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes.

“You need to step up your game, man,” Donghyuck, another third year and one of Doyoung’s children, interjected.

“And you need to stop eavesdropping,” Doyoung said, flicking Donghyuck’s forehead.

“Excuse you, I was having a perfectly civilised conversation with Nana over here.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re butting in.”

“Every time you call him ‘Nana’ it makes me think of my grandmother.”

“Who asked you?”

“Your mum.”

“That was terrible.”

“Your mum was terrible.”

“Would you stop with the ‘your mum’ jokes? They don’t even make sense.”

“You’re just too old to understand.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Hyuck.”

“I’d like to see you try, old man.”

“I hate you all.”

“Look, pudding, now stop fucking bickering.”

Never a dull moment at the Slytherin table. Ten shook his head fondly, and scooped a bit of pie and ice cream onto his now cleared plate.

“You’re having more?”

Ten felt his cheeks colouring. “No, I just filled up my plate to stare at it- yes I’m eating more, I’m fucking allowed.”

Doyoung tsked. “You’re gonna get fat,” Doyoung said through a mouthful of his own ice cream.

Even more heat went to Ten’s face, blood rushing down to his dick. Now was not the time to get hard, damnit. He shrugged, and took a bite.

Ten only managed the one slice of pie, but he was able to eat several scoops of the ice cream, going down easily and leaving him panting slightly. As casually as he could, he felt down orb of his stomach, tight and hot and hard, waistband of his trousers suffocating and straining against his girth. Fuck, his button was going to pop. He was going to have to undo it. Seeing that his tablemates were deep in conversation, he fumbled with the button, growing increasingly frustrated when it wasn’t coming undone.

“What are you doing?”

Ten’s head shot up to meet Jaemin’s questioning stare. “Nothing,” he said, too quickly.

“Damn, you really ate a lot,” Jaemin jabbed a curious finger into Ten’s stomach.

“Ow, quit it.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“Why’d I do what?”

“Eat so much, especially since you already seemed pretty full when you got here.”

“Nothing gets past you, does it, Jaeminnie?”

“Nope. Can I do your hair now?”

Ten sighed. “Why not.”

“Colovaria.”

It felt like his hair got shocked with static, though it still lay straight when he ran his hand through it. “How do I look?”

“Huh.” Jaemin pursed his lips.

Ten sighed again. “What did you do?”

“Well, it’s not quite the colour we were going for.”

“I figured. What is it.”

“Red.”

Ten slumped in his seat, burying his head in his arms. “Whatever,” he mumbled. “I look good in anything, anyway.” He was starting to slip into a food coma, and he wished more than anything that he was in bed getting well-deserved belly rubs from his boyfriend.

An indeterminate time later, Doyoung was patting his shoulder and saying, “Get up.”

Ten groaned, and did not get up.

“Your hair looks stupid.”

He groaned again.

“Taeyong, come collect your boyfriend!” Doyoung called out. “I think he died. See you later, then,” he said to Ten before walking off.

“I think he ate too much,” he heard Jaemin say quietly to, presumably, Taeyong.

“I’ll take care of him,” Taeyong softly replied. “Thank you, Jaeminnie.” Ten felt Taeyong slip into the seat next to him. “I like your hair,” the older boy said, brushing his hand through it.

“Third years learnt Colour-Changing Charms.”

Taeyong hummed. “It looks nice. Jaemin did a good job.”

“I asked for aqua.”

“Well, he still managed to turn it.”

“You Hufflepuffs are too nice.”

Taeyong ruffled his hair. “Let’s get you to bed, shall we?”

Ten nodded, leaning into Taeyong’s side. “I’d ask you to carry me, but you have the upper body strength of a noodle.”

“Hey!”

“I’m getting too fat to be carried, anyway.”

“Hey,” Taeyong lifted Ten’s chin, eyes meeting each other’s. “You’re beautiful.” Taeyong gave him a soft peck on the lips. “At any weight.”

“You literally say that multiple times a day.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I believe you, I believe you, now can we please go back to your dorm? I’m so fucking full and I’m really turned on right now.”

So Taeyong helped Ten to his feet and helped him waddle his way to the Hufflepuff dorms because there was no way he was going back to Slytherin like this.

Ten collapsed onto Taeyong’s four-poster bed in his blessedly empty room, Taeyong hopping on soon after and closing the curtains around them. “I don’t know how long we’re going to have alone,” Taeyong explained.

Ten nodded, not really paying him much attention as he struggled with his trousers button once again.

“Need any help there?” Taeyong asked.

“No, no, I got it.” He tried to suck in his gut, which was simultaneously agony and erotic, but it still did not budge. Fuck this stupid button, honestly. “Do you remember the cutting charm?”

“We are not going to destroy your trousers just because you’re too stubborn to let me help!”

“They’re my trousers; I can cut them up if I want to!”

“You’re ridiculous.” Taeyong swatted Ten’s hands away and deftly undid the button. “See? Was that so hard?”

Ten breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, babe.”

He watched over the dome of his stomach as Taeyong traced the angry red indents the trousers had left behind. “We should try to pop the button off next time,” the older boy mused.

“I thought you said I wasn’t allowed to destroy my clothes,” Ten teased.

“D-different circumstances.” Taeyong’s blush was high on his cheeks as he continued to explore the expanse of Ten’s overfilled tummy. “You’re so hot like this. If I knew my roommates wouldn’t be back soon I’d totally ask you to fuck me.”

“And normally I’d be totally down for that, but if I were to move that much I might actually explode. Could you settle for cuddles instead?”

Taeyong gave an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose.” And then he flopped down next to Ten, pushing the younger boy over to make room. His hand found Ten’s stomach again, pulling Ten’s shirt up to his chest for better access.

Ten melted into the touch, nuzzling his head into Taeyong’s shoulder. “This was fun,” he said. “Let’s do it again next year.”

“Y’know…” Taeyong met his eyes, gaze warm and sparkling. “I think I just might have a new favourite holiday.”

[literaphobe]

I think of so many ideas to create my own writing about Jake and Amy while I'm commuting to my college. I've never written any thing till now. Last time I tried writing, I forgot so many things that I thought of them while commuting. But still I tried and ended up creating a terrible thing bc I got distracted and the story went completely on random lines. I want tips on how to create and set borderline and how to remain with same flow and consistency to write. I love your content on A03!!!

Okay if you keep forgetting your ideas I would suggest you start writing them down— HAHA JK I don’t really have time for that the only thing I wrote down stuff for is drama club AU and even for that I just wrote vague stuff I’m on Plan #5 for drama club AU now and even then I haven’t exactly referred to it much it’s just an outline to make sure I’m on track

What you need to ask yourself when you start a fic is “why am I writing this fic?” And I don’t mean that in a “oh I just want to bring joy to people and show my love for this pairing :’)” way no I mean “what exactly is the appeal of this idea? what particular angle to this fic makes it striking to me, so much so that it has to be written?”

E.g. if you’re writing a college AU, it can’t JUST be about a college AU. If you’re drawing from personal experiences or concepts inspired from your life, you need to extract what the core of the idea is and focus on it. Like, how exactly do jake and Amy meet? What’s so important about it? OR, if you’re starting the story after they meet, then what particular incident is driving this story?

Imma use drama club AU as a case study, because it’s the biggest fic I have and I threw everything into it. See, for drama club AU it starts many years after Jake and Amy have already met. The important event that jumpstarts this story is the fact that they have to kiss on stage (I mean… duh doi that’s the literal description of the fic). An important thing to note is how whatever element you’re introducing (character A meeting character B, character A and B experiencing something new) changes things, how the equation is altered etc etc, what new situations they’re put into because of this

Try to start NOT by planning the plot, but by planning big events or tiny moments that you know you just HAVE to include in the story. Like, let’s say you’re writing a fic where two actors have to kiss on stage, and because they’re so weirdly good the first time they try it they start making out on a regular basis, whilst pretending that they’re just practicing kissing. A big event could be “them getting caught during a kissing practice”, or “them kissing in a public place for X reason and getting their picture taken”

lmao look at me straight up talking about drama club AU whilst pretending I’m not talking about drama club AU ANYWAY, after you’ve come up with the core events of your story, what you have to do is figure out how they get from point A to point B, then C, D, E, and so on.

A problem you might run into when thinking of ideas is being too generic. It is really important to ensure that your story has a unique angle to it so you can generate a plot. I’m not saying that that’s the case for whatever ideas you’re having, but you need to focus on something specific, or you’ll find your cup running dry. Thrust your characters into specific situations if you wanna get anywhere.

Also, since you’ve mentioned that you keep getting distracted, I suppose you probably face a problem that plagues many writers: having idea A in mind but as you’re writing it it turns to B and that somehow messes things up? Or some other variation of that. Anyway, my suggestion is that when you sit down and start writing, you should always have an end in mind. I.e. “A will challenge B to an arm wrestling match and that’s the cliffhanger of this chapter!” When you write, constantly keep in mind that THAT is where you need them to end up. However, let’s say, you make a spur of the moment decision to have characters A and B to leave the bar they’re at and start dancing in the snow. “Oh no! Now they can’t arm wrestle! This is a travesty!” - this is a very strange example of what could happen when you write, I often call it “writing myself into a corner” which is probably a normal way to say that I don’t know why I put inverted commas around that

A better example of this is: let’s say, you have this really angsty thing planned for your characters. Let’s say it’s all going great and character A and character B are very much in love. But then character B gets spooked because of event C and decides to break up with A. This is supposed to start a lot of angst because character A still loves B and is completely heartbroken. Anyway, you’re trying to get A to hate B yet still succumb to physical pleasures with B. But then oops! You get an idea for a joke and you write it in. Suddenly, A is a lot more nice to B and they’re joking around a lot more than you INTENDED. You no longer feel in control, how can you do this angst stuff if they’re being so fluffy??????

Should you stop? Should you backspace everything? This all depends. You need to think of your priorities, for the tone of the story at that point in time of the plot. Sometimes, whatever you wrote on a whim is ACTUALLY what would happen and is more in character than what you planned. Other times, you jumped the gun, and it’s much too early for character A and B to be interacting like this.

If you’re really adamant that character A and B MUST go through a certain interaction in a certain manner, you could always repurpose it for a future chapter and tweak it. It’ll all work out in the end, but sometimes certain ideas just won’t work with a certain fic, and there’s nothing you can do except to write another fic lol

I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point, I think this is bad advice, but the best and most important advice I can give you is to READ, and keep writing. Literally!! Like don’t stop!! Once you start writing, you might start to get more observant regarding the way other authors structure their stories, the way they play out certain events. You’ll absorb different styles and create your own style the more you study and PRACTICE. Not everyone starts out the same. Some people are actually super good at writing from the moment they start, they get a fantastic idea early on and BOOM BOOM BOOM they’re just a fantastic writer after their very first attempt! Woo hoo! Sadly, that’s hardly the case. Most writers SUCK when they first start. I did!! I truly look at old words and feel the urge to THROW UP

I used to use ~ as an actual form of punctuation, okay??? That’s BAD, and yet there were still people that liked my writing. But even if people hate your writing, that’s no reason to give up. YOU’LL hate your writing, but you will get better I promise you!!! We all improve at different rates, and the only way to write good stories is to start by writing a few truly horrendous ones first.

You got this!!!!!!!!!!

[luvleekaotix-imagines]

Just a note, some of these asks are literally from MONTHS ago and I’m fucking TRASH and just left it for too long, I’m so sorry.

Anonymous said:

Do you plan to write any imagines for Fire Emblem? Cause i know some people there that i would love to smooch their lil face

I don’t have any plans, but I never have any plan for what I write to be honest/ FE muses might come outta no where and suddenly there’s a fic, so... YAH. If it happens, look forward to it? Hahah!

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Do you play Final Fantasy XIV? :) You can get a cactuar vanity pet that follows you around, and does a twirly twirl. <3

I do play FF14! I’ve actually been on a decent hiatus, but I’ll be back for SB. I’m on Tonberry if anyone is curious <3 I know of the Cactuar pet, but I don’t have it! I guess I’ll have to go looking :3 <3

★★★★★

seirensou said:

Can you make a sequel for the University AU Jack :3 i think he deserve a "series'" like Gabe~

Hahah yass Jack anything tbh. I love Jack Morrison so much AND I DON’T KNOW WHY LIKE WHY THIS VANILLA SUPER SOLDIER TROPE WHAT IS IT LIKE ?????

anyway yes I have to get back to Uni AU, but I’m pretty sure I promised Amalie/Widowmaker first! But I’m always down for Jack anything, just so you know.

★★★★★

zanthiasplace said:

Hello, I'm your waifu. I follow you since god knows where, and I will ALWAYS do, till the the end of times. So prepare yourself to be bombarded with more stuff to fill your fics and mind, because if I go down, you will come with me MUAHAHA

I love you so much Z, like you have no idea. I love when you message me here, or like my stuff on any of my blogs or message my on Facebook like fifhdishfiudhs <3 You’re such a big part of my life. I’m really gonna have to work hard to visit you because ilu so much and we HAVE to meet for realsies xoxox

★★★★★

il-legible said:

Ack- I sent you my message of admiration BEFORE you invited us to introduce ourselves and say hi and now I wanna do it formally. Hi! I'm Rain! I'm pan, Vietnamese, Scorpio, love love love horror movies, bunnies, your writing, comics, and video games. I speak 4 languages, I just want to make more friends. Oh. I live in Canada. YEAH. HI. AGAIN. 

Hello darling!! I’m pretty sure it’s been mentioned before, but I’m viet too! Yasss. I mean I don’t speak a lick of the language (I speak teochew, its what my parents taught me instead of viet for some reason), but YEAH. 

I love a lot of the things you do an dI also want to make more friends. I’m actually really bad at it, but I’m doing my best. ;w; <3

Love ya Rain xoxo

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Please O great KC Jaal please or some turians please 

I WILL HAVE TO WRITE TO JAAL, EVFRA AND TIRAN KANDROS AAA. Alien baes forever. But omg Kandro you poor babe working so haaard aaaaa

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Just wanted to say thanks. You had me laughing 'til my stomach hurt and your reader-inserts keep me alive during the day. So please whatever you do to be this awesome keep it up!

Aww I’m glad I could make you laugh! I’m not sure if my humor ever comes through because people don’t generally laugh around me/I’m not known for being funny, so it makes me happy to hear you like funny stuff that’s being written.

Or you could just be laughing at my writing, which tbh is also okay long as you’re enjoying yourself I guess lol <3 lol

Love you anon! xxoxo

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

speaking of dark haired characters wearing red and black, do you have any interest in Persona 5/the persona series in general? *u*

I have only just started P5 and then I haven’t had the time or energy to play it. Like Persona is one of those games where you have to SIT and SET ASIDE time to play it so you can take it all in. Its very hard for me to find time to do that nowadays, but I want to continue playing it AAAA.

Ryuji is my fave so far tho. Kill me, I’m weak for those kinds of boisterous, well-meaning rebels. I’m probably just old.

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

More genji plz my yummy boi 

Don’t worry! I’ll write more Genji even if I don’t want to cause I hate to admit it, but he’s my strongest OW muse. He’s super easy to write for.

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Omg KC you are gorgeous x 1048392847!!! Like I wish I could pull of lipstick the way you do and your fashion sense is super on point! That stupid skirt can cash me ousside. You are goddess and deserving of everything and anyone who disagrees can fight me lol 

Oh you can totally pull off lipstick like I do; just put it on lol. And while I’d love to think I have good fashion sense, it’s actually cause I tried a brand ONCE and found out their clothes are exactly my style and their sizes fit me pretty perfectly, so I pretty much only buy that brand. Kitten D’Amour. The downside is... I HAVE LIKE NO CASUAL CLOTHES NOW. I’M OVERDRESSED FOR EVERYTHING. ALSO THESE CLOTHES ARE SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE why am like this

I love you very much anon, YOU are the deity, not I~ and you very much deserve everything <3 xoxoxox

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

I follow for Overwatch (I couldn't even tell you how long ago rip) but, even after I unfollowed a lot of Overwatch blogs, I mainly kept following you bc your writing is amazing!

Oh sweetie, I don’t even know if you’re still with me, but that’s so sweet! Even if you’ve unfollowed me anon, it’s okay. There’s always a chance we’ll meet again in the future. I’m sure the other blog owners feel exactly the same way.

Following and unfollowing blogs is part of this website and just because you’ve unfollowed doesn’t mean you can’t follow again in the future if the blog ever shifts back into your interests. 

Just so everyone who reads this knows, if you feel like unfollowing, you absolutely can of course and I wish you all the best. <3

Love you, anon! xoxox I always will

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Listen if you write a n y t h i n g for RE I am here for it (cough Leon, Chris, and/or Wesker cough)

I’ve never known the draw of Wesker, but oh my gosh, Leon and Chris. I’ve always looked for reader-inserts for them and could never find any, so I might actually have to start writing for them. Leon tho hhhhhhhhhh. Chris hold me in your big strong arms plsssssssss

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

That thing about lacking inserts? I struggle for anything for Watchdogs, Destiny and Pokemon! Specific characters? There is a severe lack of anything decent for Guzma, Defalt or Cayde, I would write them but I cant write very well.

I haven’t written for Pokemon yet, but I have done a couple Cayde things now (and probably more in the future) and I’ve done WD2 stuff, but not WD unfortunately since I couldn’t finish the game (couldn’t get into it :( ). I’ll have to revisit WD maybe, because it seems there are a few characters people really liked in WD.

Regarding your writing, I bet you write just fine. If you don’t keep writing, you’ll never improve either, so if you want to write some stuff, even just for yourself, you should really do it!! <3 I believe in you~

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

your writings are so wonderful they make me wanna cry ;w; (in a good way tho) 

Aww honey!! You’re the sweetest. Thank you so much for letting me know you like my writing. It alwas baffles me, but it makes me smile!! I’m sorry for making you though ARGH!! But so you know, sometimes I cry when I write stuff lmao IF I’M NOT FEELIN IT I CAN’T WRITE IT I GUESS

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

You're stuck in the Fire Emblem hell too? OMG YES! COME OVER HERE! *runs to you but trips over a lobster(Ryoma) and never gets up*

I’m always in Fire Emblem hell tho and I married Ryoma as soon as I could ngl. I love my royal lobster husband.

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Please write more CaydexReader fics because there are none really in existence and the one you wrote was not enough on its own to satisfy the beast that is my fanfic hunger.

I’m sure there are some, but I’m happy to write more!! I don’t know too much about Cayde-6 though, so I’m very cautious. I’m never sure if I get his character right and it’s so important to me that I do, otherwise it feels like a mockery of a character the fans love :(

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Ok I just say I just found your Delsin fic and oohhhh my goddd I love itttt thank you for writing it it's so good

AAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE DELSIN ROWE OKAY I have to write more for him sometime in the future I hate it so much he actually makes me a weak giggly mess its WEIRD I DUNNO WHY I can’t actually think of another character that does that WHAT THE FUCK DELSIN

★★★★★

lombax-lombardi said:

Speaking of Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn and how fabulous everyone looks it also makes them look very illegal. Like hello you can't be this pretty, this is wrong and illegal stop toying with me. But they will never stop toying with your emotions. gdi pretty boys in Fire Emblem how DARE

This is an accurate summary of how a majority of FE fans feel, I think!! When I was playing through FE Awakening and Fates I was like “I wanna marry them, NO THEM, Wait nO THERES MORE THAT ONE MAYBE? Okay no I’ll go baCK WHO IS THIS THO”

hhhhh.... the introduction of the avatar system was a blessing and curse.

★★★★★

doublerainebow said:

Please take your time in writing! I realize how hard it is to have the creativity flowing as a writer myself 😭😭 Just being able to talk to you is fine with me anyways!

Thank you, my love!! When I’m stressed my usual creatively is pretty much murdered. I’ve been in a major slump in basically everything in my life recently, but I’m actually tired of that mentality now. I’m gonna work hard to make some minor adjustments until I feel like I’m back on track again.

I love talking to you guys, I do. Thank you so much for your messages xoxox <3

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

I loooove Auriel and Brightwing. I'm a support main, though, so I love all of them. 👽💚

Aaa I love Auriel!! Brightwing is honestly the spirit animal we should all have. We should all be happy with things like rainbows and love and thE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES you know?

I play Zagara and Lt. Morales mostly! I can also play a few other supports and a couple of tanks, but I suck ass at assassins like fml.

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Man I was going through your blog and I like all the stuff you write and I'd be totally down for some Fire Emblem stuff because 1. The older games need some love and 2. Tibarn nuff said and I am GLAD you enjoyed GotG2 so good.

Yess there is a serious lack of older FE fics. Some characters are just so amazing. If only there was a remake with the avatar system sO WE CAN ROMANCE THEM QQ.

★★★★★

yoshikuno said:

i love your dmc headcanons!! it give me inspiration for and a fic XDD. sorry for the bad english n_nU 

Your english is fine, darling! And I’m glad you liked the headcanons. I need to write some DmC reboot stuff though, just to even things out with the original crew haha.

Have fun writing the fic, I’m sure it’s amazing! <3

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

The cayde-6 x reader was perfect! Could you write more soon? :D 

Anonymous said:

i loved your Cayde-6 imagine! There's never enough Destiny fiction so I was wondering if you know of any other Destiny writing blogs?

Thanks for the love on the Cayde-6 imagine guys!! I’ve been concerned with how I write him because I haven’t played Destiny much :( I’ll be getting on Destiny 2, it seems, once it’s out on PC :)

I don’t actually know of any Destiny writing blogs, but if anyone reads this and knows of other blogs, send me a message or reply to this post!!

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Is it bad that while reading the beginning of your latest Blackwatch agent fic "Fly", I thought of the Art of Slay series? lol Keep up the cool work, KC! 

YESSS it does start very similarly cause you’re cursing your fellow comrades out for putting you in a compromising position. In ‘Fly’ it’s a lot less sexy, but hey, you beat everyone up with a shoe and I feel like that makes up for it lmao <3

★★★★★

Anonymous said:

Take your time, KC! Life is more important. I hope things start looking up for you. 👽💚

Anonymous said:

We love you, KC! Hope you find peace and relief from the stress! 💖

Anonymous said:

it's totally ok that you don't want to write !! seriously no pressure, dude. we all love you and I hope you get through what you're going through. :)

latinxshepard said:

KC!!! plese try to take care of the issues first!!! we need you to be well and good so you can provide us your magnificent presence!!! take your time and just keep rebloging for a while if thats better to you!!! that everything get better soon!!!

Thanks for the love, guys. It’s been rough as fucking fuck. I can’t go through everything because so much happened over the past like month or so (it feels like longer than that) that I would be writing a novel if I had to explain it. 

The short of it is that everything came down on me at once, personal/family life, social life, work life and some things that happened in the past that won’t stay dead. They struck all at once and I’m pretty much dead inside.

BUT I’m tired of feeling this way, so I’m gonna try and make some minor quality of life changes and just try and get over it. It’ll take time though, as these things do.

Thanks for being so patient with me and for staying with this blog even though I haven’t been able to give you quality content for a long time. You don’t understand how much that means to me, on top of all the amazing messages of support I’ve been receiving. You’re all beautiful people that make life all the more brighter. xoxoxox

★★★★★

queen-lluvia said to luvleekaotix-imagines:

How are you doing?😉

I’m trudging along!!! Did you see the Red Hood Injustice 2 gameplay trailer tho. Ohhhhhh Jason wrecks face and for some reason it’s so attractive. I’m a broken human being aaa

[suqarjae]

barista!jaebum || au

im jaebum || barista au

mark || jackson || jinyoung || youngjae || bambam || yugyeom

black horn rimmed glasses and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows

black ripped jeans, wears his apron properly...most of the time

it ends up around his waist by the end of his shift

black converse

he's the manager he gets away with anything

makes the fucking best coffee you've ever had

like seriously he can make any coffee and every coffee and then some more

regulars get small extras on the house

takes notice of customers' moods and slightly modifies orders to suit

an extra shot of expresso or some more whipped cream maybe even a chocolate swirl if you're lucky

hates customer service and taking orders but he's still p good at it

sings to himself under his breath and his co workers like to tease him about it like a lot

tends to forget his name tag a lot

"forget"

he doesn't like customers calling him by his name

let's the younger co workers get away with more than he should

once let Yugyeom get away with tipping ice for the iced coffee down the back of Mark's shirt

gets back at the younger workers by making them do the chores he doesn’t wanna do himself

everyone loves him no matter what they say

is actually really soft and sweet even tho he looks intimidating as all fuck

met you when walking in for his shift

you were walking out with a coffee in hand when you tripped over your own shoes

he caught you as soon as he realised you were falling

he caught you by the waist so you ended up being a blushing mess

he was just as flustered

he helps you stand back up right and you’re both apologising to each other

wait why’s he apologising??

“you did nothing wrong?? you saved me from ruining my outfit???”

“yea but-”

“no buts, you saved me from spilling coffee on myself and i’m surprised i didn’t get any on you”

he was about to argue why he was apologising but realised it was pointless

you were triumphant 

for now

he got teased for being red in the face by jackson

jackson got put on dishes for the rest of his shift

the next day you came in on your way to work

jaebum’s the only worker there

he was on opening today

he smiled at you and he remembered you from yesterday

of course you remembered him too

you got a text from your boss saying there’d been some delays and you wouldn’t have to be in as early as planned

when you had a mini celebration jaebum just watched on in amusement

“what’s got you so suddenly happy?”

“i don’t have to be in to work for at least another hour”

“ohh that’s cool! you should...hang around here and keep me company”

you laugh at his proposal and he laughs along with you

you stay because you don’t have any other plans and you want to learn more about this man

he’s intriguing and he probably doesnt even know it

you two talk and learn about each other

he learns what you do for a job

your aspirations

you learn about his passion for singing

all the little things his co workers tease him about

that kinda thing

if it’s just you two in the store then you’ll coax him into singing for you

he gets all shy when you applaud and praise him

he hums tunes that end up stuck in your head

you hate him for it and tell him to stop

you’re only joking

and he gets all smug like

yes sucked in deal with it

when the time comes

where his co workers are literally spelling it out for him that he likes you

he denies it so bad

but fails so bad

he has trouble admitting he's fallen for a customer

jaebum starts to generally gravitate towards you whenever you’re in store

he wants to take your order himself instead of whoever's on cash register

they give him a wink or a knowing look when they hand him over to you

anything for the manager right

they’re getting dishwasher duty later

he gets all blushy and shy in front of you

he's shy as is but it's really adorable and when he smiles he seems to quite literally glow

you didn't realise he liked you until he upfront asked you out when bringing you your order

you thought he was just shy around girls

but no he likes you

like a lot

took you by surprise but you smile and get all blushy and give him your number

he remains calm and smiles really wide and then when he's on break he's lowkey celebrating out the back

co workers are happy he's finally found someone

he manages to keep his excitement down when on the job but he ends up like an excited puppy when you walk in

literally knows what you want from the moment you put your foot in the door

writes cheesy lil jokes on the side of the cup if he has enough time

loves seeing you smile and it makes him smile

when he smiles you smile bc he fucking glows have you seen him

you bring out a smile that his co workers rarely see

they see him smile but its a different smile somehow

they dont know how you did this but they like it

will make sure that you get the perfect coffee every time you order

loves when you set up your little study corner in the back of the cafe so you can work on your assignments while being able to see him work

when he finishes his shift he comes and sits down next to you

helps out best he can

will get up and make you free coffee so you don't stress and keep your concentration

becomes softer and more confident when you're in store

you bring out the smiley glowy jb

everyone benefits from it

customers and staff alike

he'll let you work the cashier if it gets too busy for the workers to handle

glad to have you there to help

sneaks pecks on your cheeks forehead or lips every time he passes you

no objections

loves seeing you get all blushy

been a few times where he's zoned out whilst staring at you and spilt (or almost) spilt coffee on himself and other co workers

you tease him about it so much

he teases back

doesn’t know how to at times

but he has his ways

a cheeky smile here n there

or a suggestive comment

when you get flustered he knows he’s won

you sometimes have competitions to see who gets the most flustered first

he wins most of the time

but you’ve had some victories

overall he just becomes a lot more soft and open since you came along

during the day at least

{ caution : nsfw below }

if he's working a lone shift he'll call you in

you may as well work there now

he teaches you how to make coffee

the more popular orders to begin with

all through the time you’d been there that one night in particular it’d just been a flirt fest

“ah shit i made it too sweet, jae”

“i bet it’s not as sweet as you tho”

“im ja e b um-”

starts to teach you the more complicated orders once you’ve mastered the basics

but your hands slip and you spill whip cream over yourself

it was fairly late at night

closing time was p much right then

he hadn’t caught a long enough break to eat

and he didn’t eat before he came in for his shift

when jb's hungry there's no stopping him

his eyes darken and before you know it you're pinned against the back wall

one hand's holding yours above your head

the other's playing with your hip, pinching and playing with the skin

his tongue however is having fun licking up the cream that spilt down your stomach

he started sucking up and down your neck and collarbone

he pulled your shirt off and continues down your stomach

let's just say he licked all the cream up

and maybe some more

hmm-

no one dares question the manager when he comes into work the next morning with a smug ass grin on his face

and sudden fascination with whip cream

when you order a frappe he adds on extra whip cream

and when he hands you it you almost choke

he bit his lip and winked at you

you’re sure yugyeom noticed it

you got so blushy

and jb’s smug smile’s made a return

and your flirting didn’t end there

;)

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun/Taemin; Extra Baggage (part 1); PG-13

and by extra baggage part 1 i mean remember when i said i had a bunch of other ideas for moving day au and would post them after bc twitter told me i should post this one Now bc it’s an extra part of part 2 lmao

it’s the part where jong almost blows taem

It’s a minute late but Jonghyun suddenly realizes that this is technically their first real kiss, and Taemin’s first real kiss ever. Opening his eyes quickly just to peek, he smiles at the worried little furrow between Taemin’s eyebrows. Adorable.

Moving Day: 1-2-3-4

Week Two: 1-2-3

Extra Baggage: 1

“Jonghyun.”

Taemin’s voice is small, barely a whisper against the jacket covering his pillow, but Jonghyun’s eyes open anyway, his hand moving from where it’s been on Taemin’s shoulder to his face. He rubs his thumb over Taemin’s cheek softly, watching his eyes scrunch tighter together for a moment.

“Yeah?” he asks softly. Taemin’s eyes crack open, hold his for a moment, and then close again, a sigh leaving his lips and whooshing over Jonghyun’s.

“I haven’t been asleep this whole time,” he mumbles. His fingers curl into Jonghyun’s shirt over his stomach. Jonghyun tsks, shifting closer and pressing a tiny kiss to his mouth.

“I know,” he says. “Neither have I.” When he suggested that they come down here and nap, he really meant that they should just rest up a little bit and relax before they leave. He wants Taemin to be as calm as possible so when he does inevitably have an anxiety attack again it’s not as bad as it could be. With the arm he has resting under Taemin’s head as  a pillow, he lifts his hand to pet gently through his hair. “Do you want to go back out?” he asks. Maybe Gwi or the other two can help him calm down a little bit more.

“Mmmgh… no,” Taemin says. He shifts closer, sliding his arms around Jonghyun, tugging him close so their bodies are flush and squeezing him tight. “I wanna…,” he whispers, and lets his breath out in a whoosh, slow and shaky. His arms loosen around Jonghyun but his little hands grip the back of his shirt and he nuzzles his face into his neck. “I wanna love you,” he mumbles. His lips move against Jonghyun’s skin; first they finish his words, and then they kiss softly, leaving tiny wet spots.

The fondest smile warms Jonghyun up from the inside; affection rises in his cheeks as a blush and he presses his own kiss to Taemin’s hair. Holy frick.

“Aren’t you always doing that?” he hums, sliding his hand between them to tilt Taemin’s face up. Taemin’s eyes barely open a crack as he shifts up to press their mouths together softly.

“Technically, I guess,” he murmurs. “But. I wanna. Show you." Each breath is punctuated by another soft press of their lips. Jonghyun grins lazily against his mouth. Of course. Taemin hates to just say things. Online, showing Jonghyun always meant quick little selfies or links to cute videos and songs; Jonghyun thinks he likes this version of proof a little bit better.

“C’mere,” Taemin breathes against his lips. He pushes himself up, leaving nothing but a whoosh of cold air in front of Jonghyun’s face. Jonghyun squeaks, a soft little ooh of surprise, and turns to prop himself up on his elbows and watch Taemin sit himself up at the edge of the bed. Taemin reaches for him, taking his wrists and tugging him up and forward. Jonghyun figures out what he’s going for easily and fits himself in his lap, sitting on his thighs with his knees on either side of his hips.

Taemin’s hands shake as he rests them on Jonghyun’s sides. His breaths are faulty and uneven, his eyelids blinking just a touch more quickly than normal as he looks up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes. Jonghyun slides his hand up his chest, feeling just for a second his speedy heartbeat, and curls his arms around his neck with a short sigh. Still as wound up as ever. That little pseudo nap didn’t calm him much at all. Time for plan B.

Taemin’s kisses are clumsy. Awkward, hesitant pecks, unsure movements, tiny little sucks on Jonghyun’s bottom lip in a feeble attempt to hide the fact that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Jonghyun thinks it’s the most endearing thing and he smiles against his mouth. Of course. The only kisses he’s ever had were the quick little reassuring ones that Jonghyun gives him during his panic attacks or during goodbyes. Never any full on making out. It’s a minute late but Jonghyun suddenly realizes that this is technically their first real kiss, and Taemin’s first real kiss ever. Opening his eyes quickly just to peek, he smiles at the worried little furrow between Taemin’s eyebrows. Adorable.

He slides his hands down to cup Taemin’s jaw, angling him better into it and taking more control. He leads them, kissing Taemin and letting him take his time to respond, to get into the rhythm of it. Soon their mouths move together nicely with soft slides and softer breaths. When Taemin bites Jonghyun’s lips softly Jonghyun lets him; when Taemin’s fingers curl into his sides Jonghyun shifts closer; when Taemin shyly pokes his tongue out to deepen the kiss Jonghyun adds his own smoothly without overwhelming him.

It’s still a little clumsy and a little hesitant, but when they really get into it, it’s nice. Little smacks and wet squishes fill the otherwise quiet room, the only other noise coming from Jonghyun’s arms wrapping back around Taemin’s neck and his fingers sifting gently through the hair at the back of his head. His breaths are easy and even and Taemin’s are almost the same. He shakes every now and again, a heavy breath puffing out over Jonghyun’s upper lip, but for the most part, he seems lost in their kiss, captured by Jonghyun’s mouth. He’s going slow, pressing deep, lingering just long enough for Jonghyun to pick up on how much he wants this to keep going, how important this is to him.

When Jonghyun gives an experimental little suck to Taemin’s tongue the softest groan is pulled from his throat. Jonghyun stops their kiss for just a second to chuckle as Taemin grips his sides even tighter. He does it again, and again, without any rhythm, little sporadic teases between slower kisses. With one hand he moves from the back of Taemin’s head to his neck, his shoulder, slow enough down his chest to feel both his nip through his shirt and the short intake of breath when he touches it. He goes even lower after that, resting his hand on Taemin’s thigh.

With his fingers playing with the hem of Taemin’s shirt, Taemin’s breathing quickens, his hips press minutely closer, his arms wrap fully around Jonghyun’s waist--and then he wrenches himself away, pulling their lips apart and turning his head to the side. Jonghyun sways, accidentally leaning too far forward now that there’s nothing holding him back, and opens his eyes, disoriented. Blinking the room blearily back into focus, he pouts at the loss of their kissing.

Taemin is leaning heavily on one hand, head down, eyes squeezed shut tight. His breaths are heavy and when he swallows it’s a struggle; Jonghyun immediately recognizes it as another panic attack instead of just being flustered and breathless. He shifts his hips back but leans forward, resting his weight on one hand on the mattress and running the fingers of his other gently through Taemin’s hair.

“Shhh,” he whispers. “It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe.” He presses his lips gently to Taemin’s temple through his guilt, nuzzling him and holding him close. He shouldn’t have pushed it that far. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. You’re okay. We can--”

“No, that’s not--” Taemin tugs Jonghyun even closer with the arm around his waist. He turns, not to face Jonghyun, but to bury his face in his chest, nuzzled up against his left boob. Jonghyun bites his lip as Taemin shakes against him. If it wasn’t him then he has no idea what it was. He hates these rare times where he doesn’t know what’s triggering Taemin’s anxiety. He does what he can do, which is pet his hair gently and make quiet, soothing noises until he’s ready to talk. Taemin holds him close, hands twisted in the back of his shirt and breaths hot against the front, for several long minutes.

When he finally loosens up and lets go, it’s with a heavy breath. He leans away to slump against the wall behind him, but his hands stay on Jonghyun’s waist and tug him weakly forward. Jonghyun wiggles closer and gently brushes Taemin’s hair out of his eyes.

“Okay?” he asks softly. Taemin nods, a tired bob of his head.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I. Figured it out, like, myself. That all of you don’t hate me.” He gestures towards his head to mean his anxiety and Jonghyun nods again. In his overprotectiveness he forgets that Taemin can do that, that Taemin has had to calm himself down for years and is pretty good at it. He pushes himself to feel thankful and proud instead of irrationally upset and leans forward to peck Taemin’s lips.

“Of course we don’t,” he hums. “You’re a sweetie pretty babe.” He leans back just enough to see Taemin’s eyes scrunch shut and feel his fingers pressing into his sides, then smiles slowly. “My adorable little cucumber lemon.”

“Oh my god,” Taemin hisses. He lifts his hands to cover his face, gripping them into little fists over his scrunched up nose. Jonghyun laughs softly and takes his wrists to kiss his knuckles. “Isn’t that a gatorade flavor?” Taemin asks, extending his fingers to cup Jonghyun’s jaw. His eyes are closed, but he’s got a little smile on his lips that Jonghyun matches.

“Probably,” Jonghyun shrugs. He bets Minjunggie would know. Taemin hums in reply, thumbs brushing softly over Jonghyun’s skin. Jonghyun plays with the hem of his shirt, rubbing the fabric between his fingers, and looks up when Taemin sighs shortly. His eyes are scrunched shut and he lets his head loll to the side.

“I’m still anxious all over,” he mumbles. Jonghyun sighs too, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. He knows. Sitting back on Taemin’s legs, he bites his lip, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down his sides.

“I was thinking,” he says quietly. “Maybe, we could….” He trails off, trailing one hand to the button of Taemin’s skinnies, rubbing his thumb over the zipper. “If you wanted,” he says. Taemin looks at him, eyes blank, glances down, looks back up with his lip between his teeth.

“Oh,” he says, and swallows thickly. “Not, like--everything, right, just--”

“Just a blowjob,” Jonghyun hums, so fond in the way Taemin’s teeth sink into his bottom lip again at the word. “Or a handy,” he adds. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.” The last thing he wants to do is push Taemin to be even more anxious than he already is. He wiggles off of Taemin’s lap to give him space, sliding to the floor and sitting on his ankles in front of him. Taemin’s legs are open enough already that he can sit himself nicely between them, resting his hands on the edge of the bed and placing his chin on them.

“I mean,” Taemin says. He runs a shaky hand through his hair, but his legs also scoot a tiny bit more closed around Jonghyun’s shoulders. His hand lowers to rest on Jonghyun’s cheek, thumb rubbing gently over his skin. Jonghyun smiles at the softness and leans his head into it. “I’m not,” Taemin mumbles. “Like. I don’t.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jonghyun reminds him. “But. I wanna help you relax.” A nap didn’t help, kisses didn’t help, gentle words didn’t help. An orgasm might.

“I know,” Taemin says. His voice is a quiet mumble, but not an anxious one. “It’s just,” he says. “You know I’ve never, and….” He trails off and Jonghyun nods. He knows that Taemin has never been able to or even wanted to frick any of his friends so far, and that he’s new to everything except jerking off as quietly as possible when he could steal time to, and that he's as nervous and anxious about it as he is with everything else. He stays silent as Taemin watches him, as Taemin thinks, as Taemin’s hand slowly slides down to cup his chin.

“But, god, I’ve always wanted to,” Taemin breathes. His thumb presses against Jonghyun’s lower lip; rubbing it gently; Jonghyun lets his mouth part just a tiny bit to let him do more. “With you, ever since I met you,” Taemin whispers. Jonghyun’s fingers curl into the bedspread. He loves when Taemin is so open and honest like this. “And your pretty mouth,” Taemin says. He shifts closer to the edge of the bed, so his zipper is in reach, putting the slightest pressure on Jonghyun’s lip; Jonghyun takes the tip of his thumb into his mouth and sucks, a preview of what he’s going to be doing very soon.

“Okay, literally.”

Jonghyun turns so fast at Jinki’s voice behind him that he almost cricks his neck, heart thudding up into his throat. He hears Taemin shuffling away as Jinki leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms, looking far too fucking amused for the situation.

“There are three other people in this house and you didn’t even shut the door,” he says accusingly.

“Sorry,” Taemin says immediately. When Jonghyun glances at him he has his hands under his thighs and his eyes are wide and scared. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, nngh, fuck--”

“Did you want something?” Jonghyun asks loudly, frowning sharply at Jinki in the doorway. It’s way too far gone for him to be pretending that nothing was going on here but his voice tries to be casual anyway, and all he gets for his efforts is Jinki smothering a grin in his hand.

“Yeah, Key spilled makeup powder all over the kitchen floor,” he says, looking up to Taemin. “Do you have like a mini vacuum or something?” At that, Jonghyun sighs loudly and leans back on his palms, frowning at the ceiling. Garbage.

“Um,” Taemin says. To his credit, his voice doesn’t shake as much as it could. “Yeah, um, in the laundry room closet, but. It’s broken. Just use wet paper towels.” He swallows and shifts further away from Jonghyun, just a tiny bit, and Jonghyun sighs slowly. He does not believe.

“Choi is almost done on the computer,” Jinki says, and Jonghyun scrunches his nose at the implied threat. He knows that they don’t have much time.

“Yeah, yeah, just,” he says. He waves his hand at Jinki and the hallway behind him. “Just. Give us a few minutes,” he says.

“Hey,” Taemin pouts. He nudges Jonghyun with his foot. “I can last more than a few minutes,” he says. Jonghyun grins, turning back to him with an arched brow as Jinki snorts.

“Trust me, with my mouth, you won’t be able to,” he says.

“Oh,” Taemin says, a shaky little breath. Jonghyun wiggles his eyebrows confidently. He’ll show--

“Are you sure you want your first time to be in this house?” Jinki asks.

“Can you leave?” Jonghyun hisses, whipping back around to glare at his current least favorite babe. He’s trying to do something here. Jinki grins, waves at them both, pushes off of the doorframe, and strolls back down the hallway. Jonghyun huffs as he watches him go. What an anus.

“Anyway,” he says, running his fingers through his hair and turning back to Taemin. He scoots closer, little fingers grabbing at the bedspread, chin denting the mattress. “Where were we?” he asks. Taemin smiles feebly down at him, but closes his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair a second later. Jonghyun puffs up his lip in a pout and rubs his leg soothingly, whispering soft little shushes until Taemin blinks his eyes open.

“U-um,” he says, voice small. “You know, um. He’s. He was. Right, like.” He closes his eyes, shakes his head, lets a shiver run passed his shoulders. “We should. We should just go back. Down. There.” He gestures weakly at the kitchen and Jonghyun sighs slowly, pressing his forehead into the mattress instead. Damn it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. Taemin’s hands appear in his hair, petting him softly, gently.

“You didn’t do anything,” he says. Jonghyun grimaces. That’s kind of the point.

“No, I meant, like,” he says. He looks up with another sigh, scooting back so Taemin can stand up. “About. I couldn’t help you relax,” he pouts, taking the hand Taemin offers him and getting to his feet. He wraps his arms around Taemin’s waist, nuzzling his shoulder sadly. It’s the one thing he wanted to do and he couldn’t.

“It’s fine,” Taemin mumbles. He pats Jonghyun’s sides gently. “I don’t think it was ever going to happen anyway,” he says. Another heavy breath leaves Jonghyun’s lungs. He knows. Taemin hasn’t been relaxed in this house for his entire life. Of course Jonghyun can’t change that.

“Come on,” he mumbles. He wiggles behind Taemin and noses his shoulder forward, out of the room, clinging to him the whole way. With a sleeve covered hand Taemin flicks the light off and then covers Jonghyun’s on his stomach.

When they come quietly around the corner, Jinki notices them immediately and grins.

“Hey,” he says as they lean up against the wall. Jonghyun humphs.

“Cockblock,” he mumbles back.

Jinki laughs; Jonghyun wasn’t really expecting anything different. Still, he clings stubbornly to Taemin as Jinki flops on his side in a tight, giggly hug.

“You’re great,” Jinki tells him. Jonghyun grumbles, weakly pushing Jinki away with his elbow. He knows that he’s great. When Jinki steps back, Jonghyun grips tightly to his shirt to make him stay. Cockblock aside, he’s pretty great, too. Jonghyun has to admit it. He slips his hand down Jinki’s hip and around to touch his butt affectionately. He can’t see, but he knows that Jinki rolled his eyes from the way he adds, “Super great.”

“Thanks,” Jonghyun mumbles.