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violetasteracademic · 5 months

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Does Elain Archeron want to be human again?

Theory debunk ahead.

I have personally *tried* (though I am absolutely not perfect) to take a hippocratic oath with my presence on the internet and wish to do no harm. The Libra moon to my Virgo sun is always trying to approach things peacefully. The wing 2 on my type 1 ennengram is always trying to take an open hearted approach to compassion and empathy for others while still defending my views on Elain (and Azriel).

However, the take that Elain's book is going to be centered around her acting in risky, irrational, or damaging ways because she has one goal and that is to be human again, is a theory I have ZERO respect for. So, with all due respect, which is none, please feel free to self insert disrespectfully at the end of each point as I systematically debunk this theory. This is probably the longest post I'll ever make. Strap in.

So, where TF did this come from?

On my tiktok, I addressed the fact that the rumor that there is going to be a betrayer in the Night Court ranks has zero grounds. We should collectively start to work to realize this is as accurate as Sarah having an announcement on May 1st, but alas it is a losing battle. However, I received a comment that said they also agreed that it was fake UNTIL they saw someone use text to support it. Apparently, one of the human queens insinuated there is a traitor in the Inner Circle. This is why, even though Sarah NEVER said this, people are now continuing to push this "Elain will be a traitor" agenda. Even accidentally or unintentionally out of her desire to be human. I made a whole video on this, but for context, here is the quote being used to fuel this:

Briallyn and Nesta are in a game of chicken with Briallyn trying to force Nesta to get the Trove by threatening she'll have Cassian kill her, and he'll never recover. When Nesta calls her on her bluff and says Briallyn won't kill her, Briallyn responds that there are other court members as delusional as Nesta (she is referring to her love for Cassian making her weak, delusional, and vulnerable) and she can just keep threatening members of the Night Court's loved ones until someone gets her what she wants. However, she put in *quite* a bit of time and effort on trapping Nesta first, didn't she?

My friends. Where does Briallyn say "there is a traitor among the Inner Circle's ranks?" Where does it say there is a mole? It doesn't. Yes, Briallyn has spies. As do all courts and kingdoms. But to suggest Briallyn said there is already a traitor in the Inner Circle specifically because of these quotes is unhinged and beyond willful distortion of the text to serve an invented narrative based on an unfounded rumor. I don't have time or energy to recap the whole vid, but moving on from this for now. Disrespectfully.

The next layer of the conversation is this: They think Briallyn is probably still foreshadowing Elain because Elain wants to be human so badly she'll unintentionally harm the Night Court and betray them, somehow, because of this quote and the conversation with Amren on Solstice. To which I said, there is way too much evidence in ACOSF that Elain is healthy, adjusted, and has friends and purpose in Velaris. The response to that was, well that's Nesta's perception and we can't trust her.

While the convo on tiktok was, I felt, respectful discourse and we agreed to disagree, the parasite in my brain went into full annihilation mode over this theory after thinking on it.

Because by this logic- if we aren't allowed to trust Nesta's or Cassian's perceptions that Elain is healthy and well and adjusted, or glowing with good health and finding purpose and friends, then we ALSO aren't allowed to trust Amren's assumption that Elain was curious about her choosing her Fae form because Elain wants to be human again. Elain never actually said that. Amren assumed it:

(yes I'm bringing so many receipts I exceeded the photo limit and had to start combining pages.)

At no point does Elain say anything about wanting to be human. In fact, this entire conversation is about Elain's curiosity over why Amren chose the form that she did, why she selected the gender, ect. It's honestly an interesting conversation, and when Amren makes assumptions about Elain having ulterior motives for asking the interesting question, *Elain's brow furrows in confusion.*

Elain straightens and becomes cold at Amren's assumption Elain still wants to be human. One could read this as Elain feeling embarrassed for being called out, but the pure fact is that it isn't the only explanation. In fact, Elain has spent all day cooking for everyone, spent the week shopping for Solstice presents and waxing poetic about the importance of honoring Solstice traditions (more on that later) and participating in the Fae customs, fussing over her appearance for the dinner she prepped for, ECT. It's equally as likely that she is hurt over being misunderstood by the new friends and family she has spent the day trying to making a perfect Solstice meal for and shop for everyone. Which is, if I'm not mistaken, Elain's whole damn theme. Her loved ones don't really see or understand her, while she observed and understands everything. Far more than they give her credit for.

Or maybe Elain has a fucking BEAST FORM. And is curious about what her powers can do with changing form.

The point is, it is all theory and assumption from another character. So, the dinner conversation at Solstice is now off the table using the very logic enforcing the Elain betrayal plotline by suggesting Nesta's perceptions of her are untrustworthy. So are Amren's. What's next? Disrespectfully.

There's only one other item people can use, from ACOFAS, which is Feyre's perception that Elain still wants Grayson. Which again, by this logic, is off the table now.

Feyre is the one who says Elain wants a human man. Elain didn't. So this can no longer be used as evidence.

All Elain says is Lucien is not entitled to her time and affections, and it's impossible for Lucien to care for her because he does not know her. Hmm. Someone thinking they know and care for Elain without actually knowing her. Theme, anyone? I thought I heard a theme bell chime.

Alright. So Nesta is wrong about Elain. Amren is wrong about Elain. Feyre is wrong about Elain.

So where are the grounds that Elain still wants to be human based on the text?

They don't exist.

But oh, that's not even the fun part! NOW is the fun part.

By eliminating others perceptions of Elain from the conversation as they are unreliable, what does that leave us?

Perhaps with Elain's own words and actions and nothing else?

You guys, I felt like a kid in a candy story with this one. Let's see what Elain told us about her thoughts regarding the human lands, starting with the most recent publication ACOSF:

Elain describes in great detail how she was bullied by other girls when she was younger. It's interesting, because Nesta previously said that Elain used to love balls and parties. And yet here, we find out that Elain wasn't treated well by the other girls in her own words speaking on her own experience. She goes on to *shudder in distaste* that in the human lands, it would have been perfectly suitable for Nesta to have been married off and "reserved" until she was old enough to reproduce. A thought that made Rhysand, a Fae, choke on his wine. And then of course, those same girls that tormented her delighted in her downfall.

When Elain speaks for herself instead of others speaking for her, it doesn't seem like she thinks very highly of the human lands, their customs, or their behavior, or the balls she attended does it? She certainly doesn't have any friends or anyone she misses. Everyone turned their backs on the sisters when they lost their money. And Elain witnessed this with Grayson as well, who turned his back on her the second her circumstances changed against her will again.

So uh, no. I don't think Elain is desperate to go back there.

And if course we have this ACOMAF banger:

So.... yeah. In Elain's own words, sharing her thoughts and beliefs, this is what she thinks about the rulers of the mortal lands. By the way, these same queens had her kidnapped and risked her life and took everything from her so they could test out whether mortals could survive being thrown in the Cauldron. But please, tell me more how Elain misses her human life so much that she'll screw over her friends and family to get it back. Disrespectfully.

Alternatively, in A Court and Frost and Starlight, here are the lovely thoughts Elain had about Fae culture:

Here's Elain working with her friends to bake Feyre's birthday cake, a representation of the three sisters:

Here's Elain surprising Nesta and Azriel with presents her very first Solstice, after chatting with local vendors and working with the Night Court's trusted healer:

Here is what Elain, Elain and no one else, has to say about being a member of the night court and ready to use her powers to serve it:

This is what happens when you cherry pick context. You create a new set of rules, which people like me are more than willing to follow. And if the rule is: Elain's thoughts and feelings are the only pieces of evidence allowed and not anyone else's thoughts or perceptions of her, it actually only proves the theory that Elain is going to betray the night court because she wants to be mortal again and return to the mortal lands even more wrong. Considering the theme once again, of how misunderstood and unseen Elain has been, the unbelievably ironic meta-ness of it all is overwhelming. Please, unplug yourself from the Matrix. Pay attention to Elain. It's in your best interest to at least attempt to see and understand her if you plan to read her book, or you are going to be very lost and confused.

Disrespectfully.

#pro elriel #elriel #pro archeron sisters #elain archeron defenders #elain archeron #elain x azriel

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toa-arania · 2 months

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I found Touhou on IMDB and then it got worse.

So there's a bit of a story behind this, as there should be with any post. I have spent the past *checks clock* fifteen minutes and counting losing my goddamn mind over this.

Touhou 1-11, including 7.5 but not 9.5 or 10.5 for some reason, are all on IMDB. This is not that strange, as many video games are listed there for their writing or voice credits. What's weird is how I discovered this. I heard a voice in, of all things, a four and a half hour video about the Lego Ninjago show and how badly it fumbles its women. One of the characters sounded a bit like Azula ATLA so I checked. It was not the same VA. Then I saw this.

And then I saw this.

Now the sharp-witted amongst you may have noticed the tiny little inconsistency that

TOUHOU DOES NOT HAVE VOICE ACTING

Touhou has never had voice acting, especially not back in 2003 when PCB came out. There's also the detail that Layla Prismriver does not appear in PCB, nor does she appear in any Touhou game outside of her mention in the character profile of the Prismrivers, which firmly establishes her as very dead and thusly incapable of speech. You'll be pleased to know that it continues to get worse.

This is not the plot of PCB. What the fuck do you mean only one of these heroines intends to stop it. The cast list is also fucking bizarre.

Merlin and Lunasa are here but fuck Lyrica I guess. Alice and Youmu are not credited and REIMU ISN'T HERE EITHER. Youki Konpaku is credited. Youki Konpaku is not in this game. The goddamn Saigyou Ayakashi (which is spelt disastrously wrong here of course) is given a voice credit. THAT IS A TREE. THAT IS A TREE THAT DOES NOT TALK IN A GAME THAT DOES NOT HAVE VOICE ACTING. I AM GOING INSANE. WHERE IS REIMU.

Now obviously what I did at this point is start checking the other ones, and th8, 9, and 10 don't really have much interesting going on other than a continued and bizarre lack of Reimu in all of them. 6, 7.5, and 11 however are all bizarre for fun new reasons. Let's start with Subterranean Animism and work backwards.

I was suspicious of the lack of images so I went to check all of their pages and they're mostly men as far as I can tell. Most of them are credited in a film called Sule, Ay Need You, which a brief google has only barely convinced me is a real film that exists in the first place. It has a wikipedia article in indonesian. One of them, however (the only one with a picture) has been in eleven million different things with reasonably big parts. I have no idea what's going on here. With the player character situation there are eight characters uncredited not including Koishi, who is also nowhere to be seen (which feels strangely appropriate) and Sanae who I remembered literally as I was typing this is in th11.

Moving on to Immaterial and Missing Power:

TGHAT'S REIMU

Also I'm pretty sure Meiling wasn't in IaMP? (According to a quick google she was added in a patch but not given a story mode). Anyway the sudden appearance of Reimu is the only real interesting thing here because random cast absences are just so commonplace now. Now lastly for the weird fucking pages we have the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil and oh wow this one is something else.

Where do I even begin. Reimu is gone again. Three separate people are credited as Remilia. Actually most characters are credited twice except for Marisa and Sakuya for some reason. Sometimes they specify (voice) and sometimes they just don't. Most characters have [Character Name] and [Character Name (Voice)] which implies that one person is doing mocap or operating a puppet or something while another voices them but then there's just Rumia and Rumia. Who voices Rumia. Remilia has three fucking credits. Marisa and Sakuya get to be normal people. Reimu and Patchouli are just fucking gone. What the hell is happening.

And now it gets stranger once again because I said th1-11 earlier, not th6-11. The PC-98 games are all here too. However. Those pages are all just. Normal. ZUN is credited as the writer. There are correct plot summaries. No voices are credited. The name format is even different (Touhou [Number] [Japanese name]: [English name] instead of just Touhou [Japanese name]: [English name]). They're far too good quality. It honestly feels like whoever uploaded the PC-98 games is a different person to whoever's been doing their bizarre uploads of the windows games.

Now at this point I was looking for other interesting stuff to add - IMDB has Did You Know segments that had fun little details about the games, which seemed to be accurate. It also has a More Like This section linking to the other pages and-

...

Luna Nights is here too.

...

LUNA NIGHTS ALSO DOESN'T HAVE VOICE ACTING!!!!!!!!

#touhou #touhou project #imdb #im fucking astral projecting #my soul has left my body #reimu hakurei #who is worth tagging specifically because of how weird her absence is #genuinely what the fuck is happening here

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0hmanit · 8 months

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One of my favorite types of Rain World rooms are rooms that supposedly have additional cameras/room connections, but they don't.

What do I mean by this? here is an example:

LF_J01 is one of the rooms that bugged me the most, especially when when I notice it during my countless rain deer rides. It's eye catching and makes you wonder if you can bring a grappling worm all the way from the Underhang just to test your dumb theory, only to realize it's not true and be so disappointed.

Fun fact, Rain World Drought is perfectly using this room's potential: by using it as a connection between your starting region and Farm Arrays.

The tutorial room also gets it's own secret, where eventually you find out about it at the start of the Spearmaster campaign. Downpour in fact have a lot of these, and it's one of my favorite additions in this DLC.

Not a secret, just a whole huge region connected through this singular room connection.

Unfortunately SI_C09 didn't receive any additional room connections from the DLC. I remember the first and only time this room tricked me like the fool that I am, into thinking there is a continuation, and got me to jump cluelessly to the left and fall to my death. I guess it's had to do with how open seems this part of Sky Islands look. Gameplay wise I can understand why it stops there, from that point you guided to go up into the heart of the region. And expanding the room from that point, kind of adds too much to the region and makes it more chaotic and confusing to navigate than it needs to be.

Last but not least, this room always seemed odd to me.

Considering that you climb up towers many times in Rain World, it's not very visually appealing when you can't climb up to a place that looks like it has an upper part.

But in all of the presented rooms, you can quite understand why continuing on the region from there would be weird. You have to create a weird fork in the map that distract the player from actually progressing through the game's entire map. And often it makes them get lost and frustrated. this is one of the common causes that makes new players lose their interest in Rain World.

Although you could also go against that point by claiming that Rain World's core gameplay is exploring and getting lost in the world, or at least is what makes the game so appealing. And expanding the region would help increase that feeling of being lost in a complex simulated ecosystem.

I can still understand that for vanilla Rain World, this game is not for everyone. but I mean if you chose to play Downpour as your first experience, that is kind of your problem. Because the whole point of the DLC is to expand significantly the map of the known world.

uh, um. I think got a little bit carried away, lol. This post is still about silly rooms, but I feel like I can't really talk about cool rooms and regions without talking about their important role in the core gameplay.

#rain world #text #LF_J01 is a special case because you're in the endgame #and probably raiding the rain deer #so creating an alternative path/bonus room is weird #I'm a map freak you can tell #tonight my dear.. I'll treat you with some ROOM ANALYSIS

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tiyoin · 6 months

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Now I'm thinking about twisted anxiety reader being able to sing really well. I feel like there could be some very interesting/funny moments (4 us not reader).

Reader probably only sings in a reclusive area like a forest around the dorm

I wanna say that the forest already has haunting rumors about it ,and when someone (jade or rook) hears reader singing they think that the "ghost" is up and active again. So students start doing a "test of courage" type thing.

I put Jade or Rook being the one to hear reader cuz they're really the only ones that would really be in that area without a reason.

I also know they're intelligent enough to know it's not a ghost ,but start the rumor anyways cuz they want to know who's singing. And it becomes this big thing the school trying to figure out.

Cut to reader losing her mind cuz she like "wow, I didn't know people thought it was that bad. How am I supposed to live, laugh, love ever again??"

When in reality they were just memorized by reader's singing. And they really want to find out who it is.

Bonus points if they film it and sent it to the group chat you posted about earlier. And reader just has to be like 🧍‍♀️ "whattt???? No way!! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ a random voice in the woods 😱😱"

I'm sorry for sending 2 long asks back 2 back ,but twisted anxiety just gets my head going.

Also if you don't like being sent stuff like this just tell me and I won't send any more. I don't want to over step at all. These are just like head cannons I give to reader ,cuz I just love making things worse for her. Can't let her know what peace is

YOU

hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HEAD 🫵

i’m going to give you the fattest smooch alive you don’t understand. AND I LOVE IT WHEN I GET LONG ASKS!!! so please! ask away i don’t mind, i actually get really flattered that people want to share with me their long, detailed thoughts !! i was actually nervous people wouldn’t like my long responses 😖

no cause that’s ALWAYS one troupe i ALWAYS go back to.

i was thinking about making them a singer, REALLY I WAS- but i had second thoughts cause i thought people wouldn’t like it / maybe people would think its too… y-nie or im trying to make twisted anxiety reader too much, ya know

BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU MEAH MWAH (also dw i got your other ask and fully plan on answering it, this one was just at the top of my inbox 🫶🫶)

but oh my god,,,, HEAR ME OUT;

twisted anxiety reader getting pent up because they. have. no. outlet.

none.

maybe they played a sport in their old world, but no longer can’t because seriously?? going up against beastmen, mermen, fae and just,,, men?! absolutely not.

they can’t do anything fun in ramshackle because of the ghosts can and will find a way to stick their noses into your business. also hello??? no privacy at ramshackle👎👎

honestly, twisted anxiety reader doesn’t have any friends so they can’t blow off steam that way either. and going to the gym is out of the question because 1. anxiety 2.gym bros- and working out at home is… different.

so there has to be a way to let off steam… good thing twisted anxiety reader dilly dallied in everything!!

they want to sing but aren’t confident enough to join the pop music club, and the walls to ramshackle are paper thin.

there’s absolutely no where you can go.

and yet… every time you glance at the forest. you can’t help but wonder…🤔

AND IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED READER SINGING

“everything stays” from adventure time

“love all mine” by mitski

“rises the moon” by liana flores

“sky fall” by adele

“memory” from cats

“listen” by beyoncé

“hopelessly devoted” by olivia newton-john

oh my god i have to make a separate post for this before i completely rot and accidentally write a whole chapter because i’ve been WAITING to write about this and i’d feel bad about making this SUPER LONG

but i can’t imagine rook going for a sunset “hike” (…sure, let’s go with that) and hearing you. belting your little heart to “hopelessly devoted” HAGFJAIWOFOSOWOFOAPEIFOZOQFOXOD

ROOK IS AWE STRUCK

such passion! such devotion! how marvelously beautiful! rook is stunned.

of course after you finish singing he can hear you moan and groan about trivial things but- rook hunt was not a hunt if he didn’t appreciate the gift the forest provided.

and yet, the carful hunter made a careless mistake. cursing silently, he glared at the twig his boots stepped on before he snapped his head up to the clearing up ahead.

ah, you fled.

to say rook was… upset was an understatement. yes he was able to marvel in your voice, but he lost the privilege to listen to more, to observe from afar.

the strange songs you sang and possibly wrote (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him) are gone with the wind and the high step of your foot as you vanished into thin air.

rook could easily hunt you down, but he stopped himself after a slight muscle twitch. non non! he was the enjoyer of beauty! not the hunter! yes he hunted beauty but it would go against his very being to trap it instead of let it fly free and continue its song.

so let this be your little secret, okay.

jade would def walk into you singing ‘everything stays’

OR OR ROOK N JADE BOTH TAG TEAMING READER IN THE CHAT SAYING HOW THEY WISH TO MEET THIS BEAUTIFUL VOICED GOREST ‘NYMPH’ SO THEY CAN HEAR MORE OF THEIR SONGS

readers just like;

😟

“time to find a new location☝️”

*there’s no where those two won’t be able to find you fyi*

TWISTED ANXIETY READER WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE‼️‼️ NOT AS LONG AS IM HERE‼️‼️

please send more headcanons i love reading them 🙇🏻🙇🏻

babes this is me n u rn:

#MWAH MEAH MWAH ALL THE HUGS AND KISSES FOR YOU FOR SHARING THE SAME BRAIN CELLS AS ME HENCE ALLOWING ME TO WRITE ABOUT IT MWAH MWAH #guys… if i added this to twisted anxiety….#guys if this became canon…#hopefully y’all won’t get mad cause i wanna 🤞😋#twisted anxiety 🌀#tiyoin’s cuties 。　 ඞ 。

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ironskyfinder · 8 months

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When I first met Jackalynn, she was very confused about her place in the world.

The silly little girl was going by Jaden, had cut all her beautiful hair off, was wearing a binder to hide her beautiful hourglass figure, and was outwardly militant about ‘becoming’ a ‘man’.

She messaged me - seemingly furious that I would run a blog that openly advocated for female disempowerment, misgendering, and ‘transphobia’, but I could tell there was something deeper going on, and before long, she said something that gave away far more than she’d wanted me to know.

jadensjourney [11:24PM] I just can’t believe that you would knowingly post such filth. It boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing. And you defend it without the slightest thought?!

trad-dominant [11:25PM] I post it because it’s filth that people enjoy, and I defend it for that reason and because it’s my artistic right to do so.

trad-dominant [11:25PM] So it’s filth that you enjoy, too?

jadensjourney [11:26PM] Our definitions of the word ‘artist’ are very different

jadensjourney [11:27PM] No, no, NO. I didn’t say that, you psycho

jadensjourney [11:27PM] What is WRONG with you?!

trad-dominant [11:29PM] You said it “boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing,” which certainly implies that you found it arousing.

jadensjourney [11:30PM] No!!

jadensjourney [11:31PM] Okay, but, that wasn’t what I meant and you know it

jadensjourney [11:32PM] What I ACTUALLY MEANT was that you’re a degenerate for even trying to make such disgusting topics into erotica

trad-dominant [11:34PM] Maybe I am a degenerate, but at least I’m honest with myself about what I like. I could help you with that, if you’d lose the attitude and admit it.

jadensjourney [11:37PM] Fuck you.

It wasn’t the first time I’d had readers reach out to berate me, and it wouldn’t be the last. I thought that was the end of it, and went back to writing. I felt like I was making good progress, so I stayed up later than usual, until another chat notification interrupted me.

jadensjourney [1:17AM] I admit it

jadensjourney [1:19AM] now what?!

trad-dominant [1:21AM] What?

jadensjourney [1:23AM] I thought it was a little erotic. Your story. So what?

trad-dominant [1:25AM] So you’re starting to be honest with yourself, that’s all that means

jadensjourney [1:26AM] Shut up, fuck you

trad-dominant [1:27AM] You don’t need to be aggressive, you’re judging yourself for liking it far more than I am.

trad-dominant [1:29AM] So, which part of the Little Miss Thought-She-Was-A-Boy story turned you on most?

jadensjourney [1:33AM] no I’m not

jadensjourney [1:34AM] judging myself

jadensjourney [1:36AM] stop it

trad-dominant [1:37AM] It took you all that time for just seven words? You must be typing one-handed, were you reading the story again?

jadensjourney [1:41AM] yes

jadensjourney [1:43AM] the part where he’s cockwarming ryan and they’re doing anatomy

jadensjourney [1:44AM] That’s the best part

trad-dominant [1:47AM] I have to point out that Sam is a girl, I know you and her both struggle with that

trad-dominant [1:48AM] But, I agree, that is a great scene.

jadensjourney [1:50AM] fine

jadensjourney [1:51AM] the part where SHE’s cockwarming ryan.

jadensjourney [1:53AM] where’d you come up with the paintbrush thing?

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Personal experience.

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Holding a girl down and slowly tracing through all her erogenous zones with a brush is something that never gets old.

jadensjourney [1:55AM] crazy

jadensjourney [1:56AM] It’s only a tease?

trad-dominant [1:57AM] It is, although you have to be careful brushing around her clit, just in case

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i liked that most

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i mean

trad-dominant [1:59AM] Is that the part you were imagining happening to you?

trad-dominant [2:01AM] Having a stranger who picked you up at a bar overpower you, tease you mercilessly, and correct your gender?

I didn’t hear from her more that night; I assume she’d gotten embarrassed and deleted the chat. Most of the interactions ended like that - a confused girl reached out full of anger, then admitted how hot it was, then vanished. It didn’t bother me, but I was surprised when the next day I found a message waiting when I logged in.

jadensjourney [6:52AM] hey so fuck you but that last messsage you sent made me cum harder than I ever have in my human life and i passed out. sorry

It actually made me laugh aloud, between the reckless honesty and the charming turn of phrase. Few people had enough creativity or enough of a way with words to arouse my attention, but there was still the lingering combativeness from our earlier interaction. I sent the reply and assumed I’d never hear back.

trad-dominant [7:26AM] Fine, I suppose we can let that slide. If you keep cumming to my stories, though, you owe me your deadname real name.

I didn’t hear anything from her that night, or the one after, or the next. I expected to see her icon vanish one day, blog deleted. It was only after I published the next story, this time about a lesbian ruining her gold stars, that another two messages came through.

jadensjourney [9:52PM] three times. I hate you.

jadensjourney [9:54PM] and it’s jackalynn.

From then on, whenever I posted a new story, Jackalynn and I talked. It started with her telling me how many orgasms she’d had while reading, but then we started talking more with each story. Over the following months, she confided that she was liking my stories more and more, and I told her if she sent a selfie of her all femme’d out that I’d write one with her as a main character. The story of ‘Jessie’s Fall Back to Femininity’ took a few days to finish, but when I posted it I saw that it had vanished.

Then -

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] it’s me new blog.

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] spent the last three days reading and re-reading jessica’s fall. i can’t think about anything else

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:57PM] so when i tell people i’m officially detransitioning do i blame it all on you, or?

trad-dominant [11:02PM] What a pleasant surprise! I thought you’d gotten cold feet, I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:04PM] yeah you brainwashed me back into being a girl or something

trad-dominant [11:06AM] We both know I only reminded you that your clit exists, it did the rest.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:07PM] uh, i think you did a little more than that!

trad-dominant [11:08PM] Not really, all I had to do was help your clit show you who you really wanted to be.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] thanks for saying that, now i’m soaked again.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] but you’re right, of course

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:12PM] i just can’t believe how hot jessie’s fall was, especially when she got fully corrected at the end

trad-dominant [11:13PM] You’re welcome. I thought you’d like it ending with her cumming from being impregnated.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:14PM] and her repeating ‘this...is…what..i’m…for” is going to stick in my head forever

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:16PM] so are you gonna make me beg, or

trad-dominant [11:17PM] Probably, on principle, but I don’t know what you mean.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] do it all to me

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] treat me like the professor treats jessica. tattoos and all

trad-dominant [11:20PM] For that, you’re definitely going to have to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] fuck

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] please

trad-dominant [11:25PM] You told me that in the last three and a half weeks you’ve edged for hundreds of hours, a lot of it to pretty misogynistic porn. We both know you know how to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] i deserve to have my silly gender fantasies corrected by someone who is going to take every advantage of me, i know i’m just holes and tits. please use me, sir

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] pierce my nipples, tattoo a qr code over my clit because i’m just property, and decide what else you want done to my body.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:30PM] please make me your jessica. take me in, break me down, make it so i lose my mind when you breed me

trad-dominant [11:36PM] That is better. Hmm.

Three weeks later, Jackalynn stepped off the plane; we talked the whole way back, her mind was made up. She wanted nothing less than to be reeducated, corrected, improved.

She’s getting her wish. Sometimes she still gets confused, but she’ll come and talk to me and a few minutes of intense anatomy practice always sorts out her delusions. Edging afterwards is helping her feel a lot better, and this will be her tenth straight day plugged - between that and the daily maintenance spankings, she says she’s never felt more feminine.

Now all that’s left is to breed her, and she’ll be the perfect woman she never dreamed she’d be.

#based on a real conversation #detrans kink #ftm detrans kink #misgender kink #fakeboy #forced detrans #misgenderingkink #detransitionkink #ftm misgendering #ftmtf kink #ftmtf breeding #patriarchy kink #dykebreaking #daddy's good girl #fr33use #cvmdump #bitchmaker #corruption kink #sluttraining

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somegrumpynerd · 3 months

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HEY. POINTS FINGER… any thoughts on how everyone reacted when the other joined the team? as in how did killer react when dust came, how did he and dust react when horror came, how did they all react when cross came, etc. i love love LOVE your bad sanses thoughts way too much they make me so happy. if i write hurt you write comfort and it’s awesome. also how do you think they slowly started to get closer? just.. bah give me your thoughts on them!!!! any thoughts!!!!!!!!!

You fool!! You’ve given me a chance to ramble about my special little guys and now this post will stretch on forever!! Mwahahahahah >:3c

No but seriously this is probably gonna be wicked long cause I have 1 million thoughts about these guys joining and meeting each other so uh, readmore for everybody’s safety and sanity

(^ I wrote that in the document before I started typing out my actual thoughts and uh

yeah no kidding, this is like a fucking essay so proceed with caution)

OKAY SO

I’ve said before that Nightmare got Dust for two reasons; one being that Dream had just recently started working with Ink (and soon Blue) so he and Killer were no longer able to gang up on Dream. He wanted somebody else to bulk up their numbers and give Killer a little back up. He also was starting to realise that Killer didn’t handle being alone very well, since this was when he most often got worked up and broke things around the castle (and sometimes tipped over into stage 3). Dust would be a perfect fit since he had the same amount of lvl and fighting experience as Killer, and since they were so close in circumstance they would be practically like brothers right?

The irony that he thought this about a guy he was recruiting to help kill his brother was apparently lost on him.

They absolutely hated each other. Like, it was instant. Killer saw him as a replacement, why would boss go out and get another sans - one with almost the same backstory as me - when I’m right here? Does he think I’m not good enough? Am I disposable and this is the backup for when I die in combat? He didn’t take it well. He took it all out on Dust too, not cooperating in battle, trying to start fights in the castle, etc. He couldn’t outright kill him because Nightmare had given him strict orders not to, but Killer loves a loophole. If he roughed Dust up down to 1hp and something else happened to finish him off, technically he’d followed orders.

Dust just straight up didn’t want to be there. Nightmare just showing up and yoinking him had worked fine with Killer, but Dust had wanted to sit in his empty au and die, he had no intention of joining a team or doing work of any kind - good or bad. The only reason he didn’t just lie down and refuse the entire time was that he had to fight back against Killer, as much as he wanted to die he refused to give this ass the satisfaction or lvl. He didn’t intend to be any help out in the field either, but again, Killer was making sure he got fired at so he had to retaliate to stay alive.

Eventually it got bad enough that Nightmare had to pull Killer aside and demand answers. In the year or so of knowing him Killer had never willfully disobeyed orders before, so Nightmare needed to know what had gotten into him. He dispelled the replacement rumour right away, he still wasn’t quite softened up enough to be sappy about it but he made sure Killer understood what a good worker he was and that Nightmare had no intention of losing him. It didn’t help a lot, they still hated each other for other reasons, but it eased a little.

Killer still had pretty frequent dips into stage 3, except now he would go straight for Dust usually. Nightmare had tried to explain what he’d learned about it to Dust, but he didn’t really believe that it wasn’t just Killer deciding to try and kill him for funsies. He only accepted it after a particular episode where he attacked Nightmare instead, which Dust knew Killer wouldn’t try in his right mind.

After he came back to his senses he sought Dust out. The air around Killer was very different after a stage 3, sort of sombre and almost calm, so Dust let them sit together and Killer apologised for giving him such a hard time. They actually talked for the first time in months while Killer was still calm (or tolerable, as Dust describes it), and it didn’t magically fix everything but, things were a little better. They still fought and argued and bothered each other but it wasn’t as sharp, there was a lack of real murderous intent in it all, and sometimes after an episode they would talk a little bit. It was the best Nightmare was going to get for now, so he took it.

They were still completely incompetent about taking care of themselves though. Neither of them would eat unless prompted and Nightmare didn’t have good enough knowledge of mortals to know when that should be to stop them passing out from hunger on the job. Not to mention the stars were now a full team, and with the way Killer and Dust would sometimes rather target each other on the field he could do with more backup.

Horror was the first of the group to get a choice in joining. Nightmare had taken note of how much Dust didn’t want to be part of things, and while it was in his best interests in the long run given his situation, Horror’s au was still mostly intact - though a little in disrepair. Horror was also the first in the group to have a good (and ongoing) relationship with his brother, so Nightmare knew he couldn’t just pop in and steal him, he had to be a bit more diplomatic with this one and offer a deal.

He gave Horror some time to think on his proposal - he would set up regular deliveries of food to Horror’s au in exchange for him joining their team - and was quite surprised when Horror agreed, with some stipulations. Horror was equally surprised when Nightmare agreed so easily to his terms (that he didn’t want his brother to know what he’d be doing, and that he wouldn’t kill). A little down the line the terms were altered to add that he would also be left to visit his au every week or so.

Horror was not impressed meeting the other two. He didn’t need his power as judge anymore to sense the lvl coming off them both, and given who they were working for he was instantly distrustful of them both (the uh, brother situation did not help). He was also in a place that had an abundance of food for the first time in probably years, so he was doing a lot of going hog wild in the kitchen and then getting very sick as a result.

Dust didn’t particularly feel anything for him. This guy hated him, sure, but it wasn’t forward and slashy like with Killer, it was just quiet loathing which was fine. That’s how Dust felt about himself so, y’know, mood. He did kind of feel sorry for him though, not just because of the whole famine and everything, but also because he was watching this guy eat like his life depended on it and then get sick and undo it day after day. He was the one who suggested Horror getting his food in moderation to Nightmare, which did help but was an absolute ordeal to enforce. Y’know how some people get hangry? Imagine that but you haven’t had a proper meal in years and now these people give you tiny amounts of food and don’t let you eat more for hours. The hunger mood swings were a sight to behold, you would never have guessed in those days that Horror specified not wanting to kill.

When his ability to eat had evened out and he was in better shape, Horror made a point of apologising to Dust for being aggressive with him. Over time he’d kind of softened up on him from his initial impression, since he could see plainly how wracked with guilt Dust was over his situation. It was a little easier to imagine that whatever he’d done was truly out of desperation and not just for fun, as Horror had assumed at first sight.

They also both retained that classic sans laziness, so it was easy for them to share a space while saying and doing nothing. It made Horror the first person that Dust willingly spent time around in the castle (and vice versa since Horror was still largely suspicious of Nightmare and Killer - the deal seemed too good to be true and the stage 3 episodes didn’t help). As time went on, Horror kind of became Dust’s emotional support skeleton in a way. Dust had become quite averse to touch in his solitude and Horror very slowly brought him back out with casual gentle touches, until not only did he no longer freeze or stiffen at being grabbed but Dust would seek him out to flop next to on the couch. Horror claimed it was just returning the favour for helping with his eating situation, but really it was nice to have something resembling a friend here.

Killer, for his part, was going through This is My Replacement 2: Electric Boogaloo. Not to the same degree as with Dust, since Horror was quite a bit different, but Killer was still wary of this new addition. He didn’t really instigate anything though since, to be honest, Horror had the intimidation factor. He was like a foot taller than both of them, he had a cracked skull and completely different magic and it seemed like every time Killer saw him he was eating bread like a wolf eats a deer. So while he was going through his food moderating, Killer mostly just stayed quiet and kept his distance.

Horror had not softened on him like he had with Dust, since Killer didn’t openly show remorse. He still watched him with distrust, especially after seeing the way he scrapped with Dust for seemingly no reason other than for violence’s sake. Killer was still mostly targeting Dust in his stage 3s, but Horror had to be careful to stay out of his way since he was still working with much lower hp than the other two. What did start to convince him was seeing how similar Killer and Dust were after a stage 3 episode. Once Killer was slightly more composed (ie stopped crying), he became so tired and quiet and blunt about things he normally joked his way around. It was a little startling, but also started to bring Horror around to the idea that Killer might regret his actions too, just buried under several layers of whatever the hell is also wrong with him at any given time.

Killer and Horror only really started interacting after talking about Dust. Killer was asking how he got Dust to like him since he seems to hate everyone and everything else, Horror told him very pointedly it was because he wasn’t trying to kill Dust. Killer admitted he wasn’t trying to kill Dust, at least not anymore, he just wanted to fight for fun. It opened up a better channel of understanding, knowing that Killer did not actually have murderous intent behind his swings (stage 3 notwithstanding). It made it easier for Horror to occasionally get involved in the roughhousing which Killer delighted in, knowing that the other two knew how to hold back enough to keep him from dusting.

Speaking of stage 3, it was around this time that Killer and Dust made a very important deal. After a particularly rough episode with a little too close of a call, Killer showed up in Dust’s room and begged him shakily to make a promise - that if he ever got too out of control during one of his stages, Dust would kill him. He’d been told over and over by Nightmare that it was impossible for Killer to hurt him since he was immortal, but now there were more people around him where that wasn’t the case, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he came out of a stage and found himself alone. Dust promised.

It’s also worth mentioning that, once they were all close enough to be on speaking terms, Horror started bullying the shit out of these two about eating. Now that Horror knew neither of them were going to kill him, he felt safe enough to pick them up by the scruff and set them at the table to say they weren’t leaving until they had at least a snack. He let them pick what they would eat - he wasn’t that cruel about it - but he had to see them eat at least 3 times a day or they would hear about it.

It was by no means perfect or regular, but after about half a year Nightmare finally had henchmen who ate food and worked together (mostly).

Now here’s the problem… I still haven’t really figured out how or why Cross joined the team. Like, obviously there’s some kind of point in the events of underverse where it splits off into an alternate timeline, but I haven’t really figured out where yet so. Leave that one with me just a little longer. Cross joins.

Nightmare really truly didn’t intend to take anyone else in. They were (mostly) getting along, they were pretty well matched to fight the stars, he had no need of more mortals.

…but he was also pretty soft at this point. Every one of them had taken a blow to his I’m immortal I’m an island I don’t get attached to others persona and he’d gotten pretty damn fond of them all. This was why when he felt the sheer weight of loneliness radiating off of Cross, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave him.

So Cross entered the castle.

He did not particularly intend to stay or make friends, he was trying to get his world back and nothing more. He even revealed a little down the line that he outright refused to kill, and was quite surprised to find that Nightmare was fine with that. At the start he was polite but not friendly with the others and mostly kept to himself.

Dust, as is often the case, did not really have an opinion. Another new guy, this one was self sufficient and didn’t bother him so he had no reason to get involved. He was content to be in the same room as Cross but didn’t start up any conversations.

Horror felt the need to speak to Cross, since Dust would happily stay silent for years and Killer was, well, Killer. Horror was somehow the closest thing to normal they had, so he was the one that made small talk. Mostly asking what Cross would like for meals and encouraging him to pick something he liked when he got the answer of “anything is fine”. As Cross settled in a bit more and actually opened up, they bonded over being the only two to enjoy food. Horror made a point of adding chocolate to the stock they kept in the kitchen and making tacos here and there for Cross.

Horror was also the first Cross kind of warmed to, mostly because he was the one devoid of lvl and Nightmare had mentioned he’d also said he wouldn’t kill. Learning a little about his au’s situation only softened Cross to him more, especially seeing that he still cared a lot for his brother and was trying to protect his home (even if Cross found it unthinkable that he lived away from it). It was through Horror that he also got accustomed to Dust, how being quiet and distant was kind of his default and that he also felt deeply haunted by the loss of his world. They weren’t exactly friends, but it was comfortable enough.

So now boss had taken in another new person, someone who takes orders like a soldier and fights with knives and ruthless precision and aims to be his righthand man, and Killer was ecstatic. By now he’d mostly put his fears of being disposable behind him, Nightmare had gotten a bit less subtle in showing how important they all were to him and Killer felt confident he wouldn’t be replaced. Which was a little bit funny, because the only guy he didn’t feel threatened by was the one who absolutely competed for his spot.

Cross needed to prove he was useful, he had to feel like he earned his keep and that all the training and suffering he’d done was for a reason. When Nightmare sent them on missions, Cross aimed to be the fastest and the most efficient and to report to Nightmare without question. Horror and Dust looking on would have expected Killer to see this 100% as a threat to his position as (self proclaimed) Nightmare’s second in command, and to go for this guy’s throat when nobody else was around.

But Killer was fascinated. Cross was completely different from any of them, bar Nightmare whose au is a whole different kettle of fish, so he had a certain element of unpredictability to him. Horror and Dust were both based on classic sans just like him, so to a certain degree he knew how they would feel about most things and what they might say, the only differences being in what they had experienced through their own timelines. Cross was based on a swap sans and his au had taken wild twists and turns away from usual events, so Killer had to learn everything about him by poking and prodding for answers or observing from a distance, much like back when it was just him and Nightmare. Cross was something new to be studied and Killer loved taking notes.

Cross did not see this as friendly. He was competing with Killer for approval, not realising Killer was playing their contest like a game. When he saw Cross training he would jump in to spar for fun, but Cross saw his rival trying to get a jump on him and take him out of the running. When Killer would hang around and pester Cross in their off time with questions, it didn’t seem like someone taking interest, it seemed like someone being nosy and looking for weaknesses to exploit. When Horror mentioned that Killer was being surprisingly contained and friendly, Cross really thought he was fucking with him.

The first time Cross was willing to even consider this was the case was when his locket came loose on the field and Killer ran back to find it, since one of the notes he’d taken was how the locket wasn’t something Cross would play about (the same as Horror with food). It didn’t make sense for someone who was seriously competing to have him kicked out to just hand his necklace back, no ransoms or attempts to crush it to upset him, just some vague remark about “owing him one” and then right back to Nightmare for orders.

Cross had to give him something of a chance after that, Horror helped a lot by telling him “he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just doesn’t know how to be normal”. It was mostly a playful jab at Killer, but reframing their interactions changed it significantly for Cross. Now they were sparring playfully and having friendly competition on jobs. He wasn’t as put off when Killer went into stage 3 because he knew he could match him in combat and the others were always on hand to help restrain or distract him. Cross also took note of how Killer calmed down a lot for physical touch, not unlike how Dust had warmed up to Horror. It went a long way into not only making him a little less combative for attention every day, but it seemed to put longer stretches between his episodes (which Cross had also started tracking so they wouldn’t be caught out by them as much).

For his part, Killer has disobeyed instructions in the past to benefit Cross, usually ignoring the task to help him if he’s hurt. He’s also given Nightmare nudges towards praising him because he’s noted that that’s what Cross needs in the same way he needs touch (not that Nightmare doesn’t praise them normally, but when Cross is going through it and needs something). He also doesn’t particularly like chocolate but has made a point of not admitting this to Horror so he can give his chocolate to Cross.

(It’s also worth noting that Cross is the only one, besides Nightmare, that has been to Horror’s au. He offered to help out during the food delivery and got to meet Horror’s Papyrus (who he is a little intimidated by but ultimately friendly with, even though it’s a little weird since he’s a good bit different from his own Papyrus). Dust and Killer can’t really visit for a few reasons, mostly because everyone will notice their lvl immediately and know what they’ve done. Dust especially doesn’t know how he would react to having a Papyrus in front of him again and doesn’t want to put Horror's family at risk to find out. Whenever he visits, his Papyrus asks about Cross now and sometimes tries to make tacos for him (key word tries, he’s still a Papyrus after all). He may have joked that seeing Cross sometimes is “like having another brother but younger and less lazy” and when Horror told him this Cross may or may not have cried.)

And that’s where we are now!

They’re a very strange group who’ve been through some inexplicable events and have all changed each other in one way or another. And whether or not it can be admitted, they are a family c:

Now onto how Nightmare was made emotionally open by each of them!! In this essay I will no just kidding could you imagine this is already like 7 pages long

If you got to the end of this post please drink some water and get yourself a snack

#Ask #Wickjump #UTDR #UTMV #Truce au #Tagging that since this is the events I'm working off for these guys #My fanon canon if you will #Also I am SO sorry oh my god #This is like an essay for a degree I could submit this for peer review akdghjdjfsjl #I didn't mean to say so much I swear this was me trying to keep it concise!!#I think I've genuinely spent like 6 hours writing this between last night and this morning #Which is wild because like whose attention span is this??#Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about these guys (clearly)#I have given them a lot of events that I haven't really drawn or written about yet #There's a couple of things in here that I've referenced before here and there #But I guess this is kind of a masterpost for it all #Man I have to go to work in like an hour this was wild akdguigfgy #WICK THANK YOU!!!! This was really fun to do and it's got me excited to work on my other stuff in the background :D #And when I get back from work I'm gonna think of an ask to get you rambling next >:3c #But for realsies thank you so much this was super sweet and really fun <3

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lucenare · 4 months

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A letter to the Fable SMP

I'm going to pour my heart out into this post. So sit down, take a breath, and get ready for a walk through all the ways my life has been impacted. This is pretty heavy.

Warnings: discussions of bullying, death of people and animals

If you don't know me; Hi, my name is Rin Silas. You know me better as tumblr user Lucenare.

This starts before Fable began, with a buildup to me losing my love of cosplay, and what brought that back.

When I was in high school, I was a horror SFX cosplayer. I was going to cons all the time, finding my niche in the local cosplay community. Some of my friends came to be professional cosplayers. I did not. When I got diagnosed with POTS, cosplay became hard for me. I wasn't sure how to do it. I stopped being active. My self image plummetted. And one of my "friends" turned out to be an awful person. A professional cosplayer, who was a bully and made that self image worse. I couldn't go to certain cons for years because of her. She would bully people until they left if she saw them-- and she was so popular in the community. It crushed me, to see her rise in the community. It stripped the joy out of cosplay. I didn't *want* to be in this space, and it soured the craft.

I wanted to get back into it, but I was unsure of how. I started working on clothes again, making my outfit for senior prom. At my highest point mentally in all of high school, finally being creative in a way that made me feel good again, with a clear path for college; the world shut down. With all that free time, and multiple generations worth of fabric hordes, I started sewing again. My grandmother got me a graduation present- a heavy duty sewing machine all to myself. No more borrowing my moms. I sewed so many plushies durring that time- but I still wasnt making cosplays again.

And then the DreamSMP happened.

And then I signed up for Tiktok.

And suddenly, I had all of these tiktok cosplayers cosplaying minecraft cubitos all over my feed. No fear, just fun. All different body types- going crazy with it, not being "canon accurate"-- two things my "friend" had strongly ridiculed me for. And it was great. It felt so good, from my heavily sterilized cosplay scene, to see so much freedom and love put into it. I was too scared to cosplay again, but I saw a love put into it that I hadn't seen since I went to BLERD, a smaller local con geared towards minorities. All of these cosplayers- whos names we all know, as so many of them were part of Fable- let me see the love in something that had been taken from me again. And years later, I love cosplaying again. Without this, i don't know if I would have started cosplaying again.

And then those cosplayers started to cosplay their own characters- and they were all *connected*. It was such a pure form of enjoyment- watching people love what they had made enough to cosplay from it. And then I found myself tuning in to Sherbert's streams, mid corruption arc.

And that's how it started. My love for Fable. The impact it had on me- the vessel for healing my relationship with cosplay. I also healed my relationship with makeup in this time.

Throughout 2022, Fable was a source of fun, and something to look forward to. I loved it. It became a hyperfixation. I started cosplaying again, privately. I wanted to show my love for what was bringing me joy. As my grandmother who gifted me my sewing machine's health worsened, I met George witchcrafting in person for the first time, my work closed for remodel, and I became my grandmother's caretaker. Being woken up in the night to help her, until eventually I was sleeping at her house. Stay awake until 3 playing splatoon, wake up and watch whatever fable lore was happening to pass the time around caring for her.

By the end of this, I was waking up at 8 am and going to bed at 3 am, waking my mother up so I could get a couple hours of much needed sleep before doing it all again. Having to call my brother to watch her for a couple minutes at a time so I could go outside and cry. She was only on hospice for a week, that's how fast she got bad. She passed a week before Christmas, the night before my work re-opened. I was the only one awake.

Fable SMP became my escape from the grief and pain. The funeral was the day after my 21st birthday.

In Febuary 2023, I came home from my trip to visit my beloved GB for our anniversary, and my cat was sick. She passed a couple days later. Fable was once again my primary outlet. Being silly on tumblr was my primary outlet. I changed my url on my minecraft blog from craftsunemineku to lucenare. As more random cast members started following me, Ghosty started to mess with me in replies. I never let anyone know my twitch, though. I didn't want anyone to. I wanted to remain an Entity on tumblr.

Until Ghosty send me a meme, with an accidental spoiler of Allerion's mural in it. And that was too funny to pass up. The next time Ghosty was live, I subbed with prime, and hit him with the famed "oh tumblr user ghostyjpg we're really in it now" in my sub message.

I wouldn't be where I am today without that, truly. We were silly goofy, I got goofier on tumblr. I had been wanting to get back into streaming, as I had started to right before my grandmother's health had declined and had to stop almost immediately. I became a mod for Haunt, Ghosty's viewer smp.

In early July, I lost one of my guinea pigs. Jack's partner, Phineas. Phin was a birthday present I got when I turned 17. He was my emotional support for grief especially, and the world took him away when I needed him the most. A month later, the world took away my other cat, too. Three pets, and my grandmother.

Being Tumblr User Lucenare got me through the worst time of my life.

And then I started streaming again. And Ghosty grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and flung me. And because of that, I'm now a streamer, I've made so many friends. I changed my major-- the trajectory my life was on changed.

And here I am.

Without Fable, I would have never healed my relationship with cosplay the way I did. Without Fable, I would never have met the people I have. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started streaming again. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started Terramortis.

I hope that Terramortis can do for someone a fraction of what Fable did for me.

To Heyhay: thank you for being a creator I could look up to. For inspiring me to bring my crazy UV makeup into cosplay. Sorry Rae's Big Naturals ended up being a major bit on my streams, I dont know how that happened. Also thank you for the elytra tutorial on your youtube that is my Rock for texture pack things.

To Sherbert: thank you for helping heal my relationship with cosplay, even before you knew I existed. I will always appreciate that. Thank you for inspiring me to script out CMVs, showing your processes to the world, and inspiring me to change my major to one I actually enjoy.

To Ocie: Thank you for helping me get my dog back from Ethan and Eagle on EOD in season 4. Unbreakable bond of theres a rule written about us.

To Beck: my fellow old bay hater, thank you for joining my smp and all the silly conversations we've had. I cant wait to work with you more going forward.

To Connor: One day we need to make teas together on stream. You are a delight to know and never let anyone tell you otherwise. I can't wait to see where these bugs go.

To Ven: thank you for joining in on the occasional splaturday, even in chat. You are so brave for the costuming you're doing right now, I hope we can hang out more in the future and do cool things

And to Ghosty: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything. Without you, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you for playing splatoon with me, for the silly messages I get, for all the little spoilers, accidental or otherwise. Thank you for helping me through one of the worst years of my life, before you even knew me. I genuinely did not know if I was going to make it through 2023. I did, in no small part thanks to you. I made it through and I thrived and the foundation for it was so simple. A meme. Some jokes. An accidental spoiler.

It's funny how fast your life can change.

So, to the cast of Fable:

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for building this story and this community. This community that saved me, that guided me through the dark. That allowed me to meet my dear friends that I have now. I am meeting so many people at vidcon this year, so many friends that I didn't have a year ago are now some of my closest.

I can't wait to see what comes next, and I can't wait to create with some of you.

Thank you, so much, for everything.

#fsmp #fable smp

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knightyoomyoui · 2 months

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Mina x M/F Reader - "Need You Now"

One of my shortest one-shots in the book. Sorry if this is unlike most of my longer fics, unfortunately I have to say that due to how busy I am in my life right now, I can still insert wriing stories in my free time, but not as long as I use to do anymore. Probably my one-shots from now on will be like less than 3 or 5k word count. This fic is inspired from one of my favorite songs of all time, "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum. The structure of this story is in a music video-type narrative, so while reading this you can just imagine this as an alternative MV with the song in the background. I may have done the ending a little bit longer for the final chorus but I needed to add atleast more dialogue so yeah, just skip any unneccesary parts in your mind to fit it in the song haha. Lastly, I don't accept any commissions for now but I'm very open to accept any donations for you kind readers as another way of appreciation for my works. I can use this for my upcoming on-the-job training so please if you can spare some, I would be highly grateful. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui Enjoy reading!

It is nighttime of a random day in the 1700s in Japan, and Myoui Mina is currently living alone in her house. She is standing in front of the window as she views the townscape of Kobe with all the illuminated lights coming from the houses and posts. While her eyes are fixed on the scenery, her mind is busy projecting an image of a certain person to cope with the sadness she’s feeling.

Picture perfect memories with you is what she has been replaying on her mind again and again, in which she won’t stop or get tired at all, just like she can do with just being around you. All she feels is joy and tranquility within your presence, and although she needed it right now, it makes her disappointingly wonder why this day is just going to end up unlike what she had with you before.

Her almost-a-month of longing for you has already reached its breaking point, not for the idea of only meeting you in her dreams but to the annoying fact that you had to disappear without leaving any trace for her to follow or indication to be relieved that you’re doing well on wherever you may be at right now.

She reached for the telegraph in her table and tries to contact you until she realizes that she never had your contact with him and it will rather end up being pointless, just like as her search around the town that she has done few days ago, inquiring for your whereabouts.

Slamming the telegraph back into its place, Mina groaned and sighed heavily with a frown on her face. She sat on the bed, her energy deteriorating as the likelihood of receiving a response or an update about you increased. It’s already a wasted 49th attempt at reaching back to you, and she wondered how long it would take to be ignored like this.

Mina then started to question you by herself: did you ever become happy with her and do you even still think about her even when you're not around to spend time together with her? She knows that you already knew that she hates feeling abandoned anymore, and now that you act like you are unaware of it, Mina is now wondering twice if you even listened or understood why she said that and especially

when she told you how much you mean for her.

If she'll be the one to ask the same, she admits that she is and she does it always until now. She won’t be this determinated to find and learn any news about what you may be doing if you’re just somebody that she’s close with. No, for Mina… you turned out to be the only person that holds special purpose in her life.

And not having you anymore will make Mina lose interest or simply, a reason to continue living again. Twice is enough if the pain will just be doubled, she believes.

Mina has checked the time and realizes it's been already quarter after 1 AM that she remained awake. It made her broke down in tears, knowing that this isn't like her who waits for this long and the fear to be alone again is eating her up inside more in which you once helped her to fight it since the first time she met you.

Looking at the telegraph again, she said to herself that she won't call anymore, thinking that she might probably be disturbing you or becoming strange with her frantic efforts of searching for you, but Mina has already lost control, and she doesn't care anymore if she has become this desperate.

She just needs you tonight, and now that you’re gone after showing her how it feels to have someone by her side after living most of her life without a family, relative, or even friends, she doesn't know how she can manage without having you again in her life.

Meanwhile, not so far away from your hometown and from Mina’s sanctuary, you were cleaning your weapons until it got interrupted when your concentration vanished again just by the memory of Mina affecting your heart and mind.

You looked out the window, reflecting the dark sky and atmosphere outside. A sudden concern about how she may be doing had obliged your body to react. Letting out a huge exhale, you stood up and proceeded to your brewery to grab another bottle of whiskey.

Pouring one into the glass and taking it as medicine for missing Mina a lot again alleviates the loneliness from the state you are in. You kept your composure; you know the time is running out, and you just had to remain still and focus on the plan.

The more you keep remembering Mina, the more you have begun to appreciate every aspect of her, even more than you have ever crossed your mind. But then you have seemed to notice that whenever you have an episode of this, a strange feeling is lingering inside your heart.

Which led you to speculate if maybe you are now enjoying the existence of Mina like, way more or far away from just being a friend or a companion that you met when you were alone strolling through the forest. The thoughts of her being actually deadly gorgeous in a way that is obviously not a normal compliment anymore and her admiring personality have captured your attention further to how she really is as a mesmerizing woman.

You looked at the door shut, missing those moments where Mina would just freely sweep open through it and greet you with her gummy smile and her adorable cheeks that puff whenever she’s happy. If only she can visit you again, it will not be the same exchange that you’ll definitely do for her this time.

You owe her one that is more than that, that’s why. But then you took note that you'd save it for later as the perfect time is about to arrive soon nonetheless.

You checked the time and it's been quarter to 1 AM already. You also became aware that you’re starting to get drunk now. The alcohol increased the emotions you’ve been caging up inside, causing you to lose control that results to your tears containing the minimum of what you’re entirely feeling right now that’s making you obvious that you simply want to see Mina again.

You swore that you wouldn't call for her to keep your focus on the plan but at your drunken state, you have gotten lost out of your control, betraying your very own words.

You kept on mentioning Mina's name as you promised to yourself that you’ll come find and save her because if you don’t, you aren’t sure at all on what you can do without her.

And at the same time as when Mina declares to herself that she needs you, it wasn’t coincidental that you share the same sentiment.

Timeskip to 4AM early in the morning, Mina was peacefully sleeping on her bed when her enhanced senses had her alerted back to conscience. She rose from the bed and noticed some flashing lights and growing silhouettes coming from outside the window. It should’ve been dark and quiet during this time since it was still too early.

Checking out to gain a better glimpse of what source its coming from, she observed that the townspeople are marching into her house all bringing their tall torches and knives with them.

“Is there a ceremony being performed today? W-why are they making their way through here?” Mina then watched them seperate, in a form that they’re surrounding her house.

“D-do they know already?” Getting the hint that they all are now aware of her true nature, based on the knives and torches they brough with them, she became scared that this will be the time that she'll die.

They all began to yell and some went on to bump the front door repeatedly. Mina rushes to close the door of her bedroom. Hearing the door collapse from outside, footsteps and chatters came near towards her hiding place.

Mina started to block the door with her body as the townspeople banged through her door again, their intentions come full obvious that they came here with one objective, and that is to eliminate the impostor that has been living with them all along.

“Ah! P-please, stop!” she yelps and cries for mercy as she remains to secure all the doors for her safety while they barge into her place, she wishes for you to come for the last time

until she heard series of growls, curses, and screams from outside.

She tried to take a peek through the little gap that she made by opening the door a little. “YN!!!!!!!” Mina became horrified to witness you getting teamed up by your fellow townspeople with some dead people lying around as they bathe in their own blood along with some scattered through the walls because of what you did.

With your bloody huge knife, she realized that you came all around here to rescue Mina only to get outnumbered because of the ampunt of townspeople gathered to hunt and kill her kind.

“MINA!!! RUNNNN!!!!!” She heard you yell for her name while being battered and dominated by your monstrous townsmen. They all looked around to find her, and they spotted Mina peeking through the door.

She closed it again and barricaded it with her body. Their more aggressive bumps and your wails with your brutally awful state had Mina whimpering and crying poorly.

The pity she feels for you however loaded her infuriation. Every second her eyes blink, her pupils flicker into a purplish color. As she gritted her teeth, her hands clawed with some bio-kinetic energy forming like a ball through her grasp.

Her hair floats at the intense air caused by her transformation, and suddenly her witch powers awakened. She points her hands at the door and blast through it, sending all the townspeople back. The rest looked at her horrifyingly as Mina steps out of the shadows with her figure beaming in all purplish magic.

“KILL THE WITCH!!!” The all roared but Mina used her magic to dismantle every townspeople who go against her and YN, all in brutal fashion.

After she splits a woman in half in mid air with her innards and blood splattered across the room and into her face, she then got caught by the last three men by firing bullets at her, making her groan in pain.

They were about to do a double tap when you quickly stood back up despite being wrapped around in ropes. You attacked them by tackling and headbutting them away from Mina before you leave them for her to finish them all by exploding their brains out.

As she slowly calmed down and degenerates her magic, she breathe heavily and saw you staring at her in awe, speechless at her true identity as a witch. You know who she really is, but this is the first time you’ve seen her in her full potential.

Mina got afraid of how you will but in her surprise, you ran through her and reconciled with her in an embrace.

“A-aren’t you scared of me?”

“Of who you really are? I have accepted you since the beginning, I’m rather scared of what they might do to you.”

She immediately broke down in tears around your arms. “W-where have you’ve been all time? I thought you’ll leave me forever.”

“I’m sorry, Mina. I know, it’s all my fault that I didn’t inform you at all, but its all according to my plan and it has to be done.”

“So you knew about this?”

“I did. I overheard my tutors that one of them discovered your background of being a Myoui, a well-known family came from a coven of witches that they’ve… k-killed years ago. And since they knew me being close to you, I hide and there, I began making my plan to rescue you with the help of an informant.” You revealed the reason to your disappearance.

“Y-you did that f-for me? B-but you hurt yourself came all the way back here because of me… and you killed your-”

“Ofcourse and I don’t care about it, I rather can’t consume the guilt more of having you harmed than killing others who dares to lay their abusive hands at you. Y-you’re… you’re the only person I care… and love the most than anyone, Mina. You’re the only one I have left as much as you have me only in your life. I came here not just because I have to save you. I need you now, Mina. I can’t wait any longer again to see you.”

Mina cried again and buried her head deeper in your chest. “I need you now too, YN. And always. I’ve waited for you to come back.”

“And I’m here now, Mina. I’m never going away anymore. Whoever come across against us, we’ll face them together.”

You kissed her on the lips after breaking your hug with her. She was shocked at your action but it didn’t took her more time to catch up with your movement. As you and Mina stare at each other, both then smiled at this new found relationship that grew within your bond.

You helped Mina stand up and covered all her gunshot wounds, not minding your own evidence of violence through your beaten body. “I think we should go now, others will start coming here and they won’t like what they’re gonna see.”

You offered her hand at her and she looked at it before she returned her gaze at your face. “Should we run away from here?”

“I’ll follow you wherever we go.” Mina accepted, holding your hand with firm grip, enough to consider that she’ll forever stay by your side.

You nodded at her. Pulling her along with you, both left her house and all the deceased fellow townspeople inside as you escape the grotesque scene with Mina.

#twice #twice au #twice fanfic #twice oneshot #kpop oneshot #kpop fanfic #kpop au #twice mina #myoui mina #twice mina x reader #twice x reader #twice mina x male reader #twice mina x female reader

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thejockout · 8 months

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Subject Diaries #0.5 - Jockout the Subject, Part 2

(okay this is the last edging post of this series lol)

Last time I discussed my history/beliefs around masculinisation and erotic TF hypnosis, just to give a foundation of how I think about this stuff.

NOW to get into the slightly juicier details; what am I into, and what have I achieved so far with hypnosis?

WELL. What I'm into is an interesting question; and it's changed a lot in the last 2-3 years. If you'd asked me then what I was into, the answer was a fairly limited range of hypnosis: I was into "dumb jock" style brainwashing... and not much else. I didn't do a lot with either sub/dom-coded files, and had yet to discover several of my major kinks! It's kind of weird looking back at how little I used to be into, tbh. But I feel like that's often the way with kinks, they kinda spread over time.

For hypnosis, my current core interests are the following:

Masculinisation - specifically shit like changes in media consumption, physical mannerisms like manspreading or gait, and attitude adjustments. This blurs the line with the next point, but really just covers the whole gamut of a "bro" or "jock" type personality, and is the primary thing I've been into for years.

Dumbing Down - this was a kink I was very on again/off again with for a while before finding my balls and embracing it wholeheartedly. Like many subs, I used to really fear being "Permanently Dumbed Down" and losing skills and traits I need for work/my ambitions. But that's not a realistic fear and not really how hypnosis works, so now I embrace it pretty wholeheartedly. Nothing hotter than coming out of trance unable to spell or think straight. I love seeing the changes in my communication that come from it, and the actual feeling of hypnosis-induced brain fog. (And, being seen as a dumbass is a big kink too, and a nice ongoing goal.) Also included here is the whole subcategory of like, wanting to be malleable and easily hypnotisable, wanting to be someone who drops like a stone and is super impacted by suggestion. I've got some friends who come to mind when I talk about that, and it's always hot to see how easily they sink.

Corruption - this is sort of a broader, underpinning kink to the rest of the stuff I'm into; but it's a desire I have to want to be changed, to have someone coy and sly and sneaky manipulate me into changing in ways most would consider "for the worse." Making me dumber, more single-minded, more narcissistic, more self-indulgent. Fuck, bro. I get off on the idea of someone making me into their personal monster... especially if it goes a little too far from their POV and they can't walk it back. This underpinning desire for corruption is sort of what fuels my love of Dumbing Down and, in recent years, super Dom-coded Toxic Alpha type hypno generally. It's play I think you need to be careful with, but I've been having a good time so far and don't think I'd have ever started making files like Brute if I hadn't gone in that direction myself.

I listen to files outside these three themes, but generally they need to have at least one for me to be into them, and the best tick all three boxes.

I briefly listed a few files I'd listened to a bunch in my previous Diaries post; those being Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series, Avis' Sapiens general catalog, and Rigsby's Absolute Jock. I've probably listened to 100s of hours of both the MC-series and Avis' work. My time on Absolute Jock was a looot lower, but tis the best of the old guard of jock files on WarpMyMind. Overall, it's a lot of time to have dedicated to this kinda hypno! So you'd expect to see some results, right?

...Yeeeahhh, well, I'm still kind of a Work In Progress on that front. I have seen results, but I held myself back with anxiety and overthinking (about hypnosis) for years of this, so I've really only started to show change in the last year or so. That being said, the years of repeated conditioning have done a number on me lol.

EFFECTS I'VE SEEN

Successful Media Brainwashing - I did the unthinkable and successfully made myself a sports fan via hypnosis. It's kinda weird. For years I really struggled to even get through a game; then with hypnosis, I gradually started to just get suuper horny when I watched sports instead, which wasn't really any better because I'd just jerk off and lose interest. But sometime in the last two years, I kinda just got into it gradually and now watch for authentic, general interest. This was a real pipe dream at 17 when I envied how all the jock-types in my class could be totally absorbed and single-minded watching or playing a game, but I ended up getting there in the end! Not American so don't watch American Football/basketball/baseball or whatever, but I like rugby/hurling/F1 ✌️I credit this to Jack Drago's work, specifically Files 2 and 4 of the MC series; Manly Media Bubble and Male Oriented Interests.

General Personality Change - this is a WIP suggestion, but it's been interesting seeing myself change over the last 12 months especially. I've become a lot more dominant, confident, cocky, and even self-centered especially in online kink type contexts. IRL, I've just become more dominant and less willing to take shit; but that's only ever a good thing. It's interesting Because the nature of this kind of change, which happens so slowly over time, is that it can be difficult to look back and see the points where you used to behave differently. But sometimes like... especially since doing Douchebag-type files, sometimes I'll criticise someone or make fun of something and get a surprised reaction from a friend who wasn't expecting me to take it that far. And it always makes me feel a little good to surprise them in that way, to violate their expectations of how Nice I should be. I'm always Nice to them, and to anyone decent, but you've really gotta make me WANT to treat you well to get that now. Some people will read this and feel annoyed, or roll their eyes, but I kinda don't care. It's what I'm into. It's what I've GOTTEN into. (It's all Avis' fault really tbh.)

Libido Increase - this was a slow creeping change overtime, but went from getting off maybe 1x a day/5x a week or so to probably getting off 3x a day currently. Got a lot better at thinking with my dick and am super easy to make horny, which helps feed into the next suggestion on the list;

Dumbing Down - this is the suggestion I've had the MOST recent breakthrough with. For the month of January, I listened daily to @hyphyphurray's Muscle Boy file, interspersed with his Happy Horny Himbo and @avissapiens' Intellect Drain. Dumbing Down was always something I'd struggled to conceptualise hypnotically, but I had a perspective shift this month as to what dumbing FEELS LIKE on an ongoing basis. While under some mild post-trance haze, I wrote this snippet about it in preparation for the post a week ago:

(Don't worry, I'll summarise it.)

The tl;dr of that message is that I realised "permanent" dumbing would feel less like brain fog/tipsiness, and more like apathy towards intellectual topics. It's a priority shift, or a behavioural change; not a magic finger plucking facts out of your brain so you forget the answers. It's sort of like it just fucks with your desire to know things/answer questions instead. The information might still be there, if you hunt; but why would you? Who cares, bro? Does it even matter?

Since making that perspective shift, it's like a few years of dumbing has crept in all at once, and it's been super interesting. I'm not going to over dramatise it (I'm desperate NOT to become an RP-type blog with this) because in contexts like writing, schoolwork, etc., I think just as clearly and easily. But in leisure contexts, in hypnosis, just in chatting with bros... I feel that intellectual apathy creep in allll the time. Trying to think of an answer to something and just giving up two seconds in, because "it's easier not to think about it." Trying to remember something and quitting because "if it was that important, I'd have remember." Letting my typos and message flubs sit because "they can figure it out lol" and not over analysing whether everything I say is totally coherent or rich.

I understand the irony of me speaking in huge depth about this here, when what I'm saying is that I'm thinking less. But like I said, it's kinda contextual. If anyone was interested, I'd consider writing a hornier post under the influence of trance sometime so the difference can be seen, but right now... I'm just taking this a little more formally, I guess? Idk, I'm torn between wanting it to be pseudo-educational and also just having made myself horny writing so much about dumbing, and when I'm horny I REALLY feel that haze start to creep in and I kinda wanna just stop this an edge or something and go do anything else that's more fun 🥴

So in the spirit of the post, I'm gonna go do that.

JANUARY WRAP-UP

For the month of January, most of what I listened to were Hyphyphurray's files listed above (the number in green = the number of times I listened to them). They are paid files, but they're well worth the price, and I recommend them to anyone into this shit. I also listened to Avis' Intellect Drain 5-6 times as a supplement because I love how that just makes my brain turn off for a while.

Not sure atm what I'm gonna listen to through February, I've bounced between Muscle Boy and Avis' Toxic Douchebag Alpha a few times so far but will likely commit to one track for the month.

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This is post #2 of my broader Subject Diaries series, a blog series I plan to maintain on a fortnightly/monthly basis updating people on what I've been listening to, files I've been enjoying, and effects I've been experiencing. When I'm not trancing, I'm usually off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland, but I am always available for commissions here on Tumblr/Soundcloud if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $55-80, but you can always check my pinned post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi, but you'll have to DM for the first.

#hypnokink #gay hypnosis #hypnosis #jockification #jockout #alpha jock #himbo #subject diaries

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

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Title: Plus Baby Makes Three {One-Shot}**

Title: Plus Baby Makes Three {One-Shot} **

Lewis Hamilton x GF Reader

Words: 5.8k

Warning: Mild Angst, Fluff, Fun & Games, NSFW, Mild Breeding Kink, Preggo talk, Preggo Prank, Preggo Fic, Crude Language, Dirty Talk

Summary: It was supposed to be a retaliation prank. A simple, easy prank to get back at Lewis for the one he’d pulled on you months before. You didn’t expect it to turn out like this.

As always, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Your entire relationship with Lewis had been a never-ending frat party. You enjoyed the same pastimes, including video games, nature, traveling, and pranks.

Hell, your relationship had started on a prank you'd done to your friends pretending to be in the middle of getting it in when they walked in. Everyone's reactions were the same "finally". You both were speechless as they all confessed they knew it was a matter of time before you saw the sparks and finally did something about it.

After admitting it was all a prank you were alone later that night when your first kiss happened. That torpedoed into your first night together. Hence beginning a beautiful, fun, and stress-free relationship

Now 3 years later, things were still going strong. You pranked each other often, a few of those pranks playing out through social media.

Everyone loved your relationship even the diehard Lewis thirsters who wanted him for themselves. They saw how happy he was with you and how unproblematic you were and fell in line to support you.

It had been a while since you pranked him and you could tell he'd lowered his guard. You’d spent weeks laying the groundwork. Weeks dropping hints and playing up faux symptoms and your period symptoms just to make this an easy sell.

You decided this would be a perfect thing to record so set up your filming equipment that you used for your gaming streams and makeup vlogs then got yourself ready.

"You are evil for this."

Snorting, you dropped onto your back and cackled.

"It’s not that bad."

"Not that bad? Y/N he is going to flip. I just don’t know what, a table or himself."

You laughed some more. Your best friend, Zoe was right. It was really 50/50 how this would go. You suspected it would be on the flipping-a-table side though. You hesitated momentarily, wondering if you should reformulate and try again. However, within seconds you committed.

You attached the ultrasound picture that you'd gotten from a lesser-known pregnancy website and edited with an arrow pointing to the blip of an embryo. You’d inserted a few words onto the picture.

"Little Hamilton says hello and can’t wait to meet you guys".

After scanning the picture again for typos and to make sure it all looked good, you started on your caption.

"What are you going to write?"

"Short and sweet right? Anything extra will be suspicious. Let's see. Ummm...ooh I know."

You began and read it aloud as you typed.

"I wanted you guys to find out at the same time as @lewishamilton. Omgg guys 🥺. I am so excited.🤗 Thank you @lewishamilton for this incredible gift. I love you more than words can say and am so happy and honored to be on this journey with you. Can't wait to meet you baby Hamilton. You are already loved so much.❤️🤰🏽👶🏽🍼 #babyhamilton2024 #surprisewerepregnant #bunintheoven

#babybyhamilton

#heshotupmyclub

#sunsoutbutthisbunisstillcooking #filledwithlove #coming2024

"Oh my god. The world is going to lose their shit," Zoe said.

"The world? He's gonna lose his shit. And---posted."

You turned your notification sound all the way up then placed your phone beside you and picked up the TV remote.

"Ready? Let’s see how far we get."

You pressed play on the movie you guys had selected on Prime and settled in. Before the movie had even gotten past the black screen, your notifications went blaring one after the other at rapid fire.

"Holy shit, your bestie squealed.

By the time the opening credits showed up, your phone began chiming with texts.

"Oh my god, barely 2 minutes. Is it Lewis?"

You looked while being very careful not to go into the messages. You wanted to play this very calm, cool, and collected. Sure enough, there was Lewis' name with the circled number indicating how many unread messages remained, increasing with each second.

"Oh my god. He is flipping out I bet."

You put it down and cackled. It was no use playing the movie because with the rapid-fire sounds from your phone, it would be impossible to pay attention. You didn’t click into Lewis' messages and instead read what showed up in the preview.

MSG Lewis: Why aren’t you answering your texts? Baby? You just posted that no way you walked away from your phone. Are you okay?

You snorted then went into IG to look at your post. It already was well into the hundred thousands of likes. The 4th comment, Lewis', had you pinching your lips.

"@y/nthaunicorn what?! This isn’t the kind of thing you post on social before telling me.

You giggled and continued reading the comments replying to him with congratulations and you’re going to be an amazing dad. The number of #mercedesbaby and #babygoatcoming hashtags only made you roll more.

The man was going to learn today that his last prank was too far. He'd canceled your appointment with your OBGYN and had one of your friends pretend to be you to make your appointment as a pre-pregnancy appointment with the intention to conceive.

Lo' and behold, when you’d gone to the appointment you were confused why your doctor was going over your estrogen and progesterone levels and checking the placement of your uterus. When she mentioned that you were in good health and should have no problems conceiving, you nearly passed out.

You tried to tell her you had no intentions of planning a pregnancy but she took it as you getting cold feet to which she then spent a lot of time trying to soothe your “fears”. When you went home with prenatal vitamins and a calendar on your best days for conception Lewis played along saying he was on board if you really wanted a baby.

He was so supportive about it that he freaked you out. He kept the ruse going so long that while you made love that night his whole dirty talk was about putting a baby in you. It was a slight turn on which shocked you because babies weren’t a topic you'd spent a lot of time talking about. For the most part, it took you off guard.

The following morning over breakfast was when he came clean. The way he cackled and ran around the house clearly pleased with himself was so over the top that you silently vowed revenge. You would make him rue the day.

Today was his retribution.

Your phone rang and Lewis' name appeared on your screen. You chortled and stared at the camera as it rang out. The man it feels good to be a gangster sound played in your head while your face evilly smirked. Seconds later, a message from him came in.

MSG Lewis: Why aren’t you answering your phone?

MSG Lewis: Are you okay?

MSG Lewis: Is this real? Are you being for real?

MSG Lewis: Did your IG get hacked?

MSG Lewis: Y/N!

Another call came in and again it was him. Zoe laughed loudly as she wiggled her legs in the air.

"He is losing his shit!”

MSG Lewis: Y/N. Jesus Christ. You're killing me. Pick up the phone baby.

You snorted. He was realizing assertiveness was not going to win. Now he was trying sugar.

MSG Lewis: Sweetheart. Are you pregnant? Is that why you've been sick lately?

MSG Lewis: Why you've been feeling so bloated?

MSG Lewis: Your boobs!😮 Oh shit. Why aren’t you answering?🥴

His texts came in one after the other each one more and more panicked. You just sat back and let him make his descent.

Placing another guac and salsa dipped chip into your mouth, you read the previews of his messages.

MSG Lewis: A baby? Our baby. Oh my god.😳

Your phone rang again, and again you let it ring out. A few minutes later, you got the notification of a voicemail. Once you hit play on the message, his voice came in and you and your bestie listened in.

"Y/N, I don’t know why you’re not picking up and it’s freaking me out a little. You know how I feel when I can't reach you, especially after what happened that last time.”

At that, you perked up because he’d nearly had a panic attack the last time he couldn’t reach you and it was because some paps were chasing you in your car nearly making you crash. He’d had to show up at the police station dropping everything. The pause in the message made you get ready to swipe to your phone app, but then he continued.

“I thought about it for a while and figured maybe you’re afraid to talk to me. Maybe you’re scared that I’m going to be angry or disappointed by the news. Maybe you think I’ll tell you to terminate or that I'm not ready. I thought about it and I wish I was there with you right now instead of halfway across the fucking world. Fuck.”

His sighed in a hefty huff.

“I wish I could hug you and hold your hand and tell you while looking into your eyes that it's going to be okay and that I’m not angry. I’m not disappointed.”

Your brows rose. He wasn’t, you questioned.

“I’m surprised, yes. So fucking surprised. I didn’t think this would happen and never really thought about the possibility of it happening which is so stupid because we don't use condoms. Like at all. I’m shooting your club up every day, multiple times a day. Why wouldn’t it be possible?”

You pinched your lips as your friend gave you a look that said she wasn’t surprised how y’all got down. You rubbed your brow to avoid her side-eye. It wasn’t that you were ashamed. You weren’t it was just embarrassing. You took a few sips from your cherry limeade and continued listening.

“Uggh, I’m rambling. I'm not mad and I wish you’d pick up the phone and let me tell you that plus how much I love you and want this."

A spray of cherry limeade shot from your mouth through the air, "What!!”

You bolted up in shock with wide eyes and a racing heart.

"A baby. Our baby. A piece of you and me. We didn't plan this, but we've been given this soul for a reason, and I am going to welcome and love them with everything I have. I’m going to be there 100 percent. You’re not in this alone, you have me. Call me, please. I love you so much."

Your eyes were wide. Had you heard him right? Was he actually happy about this? Your head snapped to your friend who was also wide-eyed.

“Well shit, plot twist!”

“Was he--.”

“Happy? Yep.”

“Did he say--.”

“He wanted this? Oh yeah.”

You went over the message in your head again.

“Was he--.”

“The sweetest and cutest about it? Yes. Oh my god, Y/N.”

You played the message again and listened to it in its entirety. You didn’t stop at once, or twice. You listened over 5 times but each time you were still flabbergasted by his words.

“Oh my god.”

“Well look on the bright side—he’d never be one of those asshole deadbeat celebs trying to make their girl get rid of a baby they helped create.”

“Why does he want this? Why isn’t he mad? We haven’t really talked about kids. This is so out the blue?”

“You want him to be mad?”

You paused and thought about it. Any other answer besides no was ridiculous. This was an ideal reaction if the situation was real. This was how every man should react to an unplanned pregnancy. He was being major goals right now and it made your heart swell with love and pride.

Your notifications went off some more and you checked them to find some of his fellow F1 drivers commenting about the news. They all were sweet and thoughtful, which made you think again about this prank.

“Shit. How do I tell him it was a prank now?”

Zoe laughed loudly. “I suggest starting with apology head then let him shoot your club up for real and voila baby.”

You smacked her across her stomach while kissing your teeth.

“Be for real.”

“I’m being as for real as your man is.”

A text notification came in then.

MSG Lewis: The jet will be landing in a few hours. It’s not planned but come see me this weekend. I really want to be close to you right now.

“Oh my god.”

Your friend laughed again as she teased you about your prank gone completely wrong.

~~~~~~~~

Just as he’d said, Lewis’ jet arrived 4 hours after he’d texted. The call from the pilot came at nearly midnight. You were packed and ready for the weekend with a possible week’s extension, but you were also still debating how you were going to make this right. He thought he was going to be a father and that prospect had him in his feelings. You felt horrible.

MSG Lewis: Did the pilot call?

You’d replied to his text after the message about spending the weekend with him because you knew staying quiet longer would make him more anxious. You were messed up, but you weren’t cruel.

MSG: Yeah. Guess I’ll see you in a few.

MSG Lewis: Don’t be scared. Everything’s going to be all right. I love you.

“Uugh. I’m an asshole,” you said, hanging your head.

The chauffeured car took 40 minutes to get to the airfield and the whole time you tried to come up with a way to easily let him down. If he had been angry you would have been obnoxious with it and laughed in his face, but seeing how sweet he was about it there was no way you could now.

Of course, the flight to Barcelona didn’t take long. The pilot even had the audacity to cut what was a 2-hour and 20-minute flight to just 2 hours flat. The nerve! The whole flight your nerves toiled which made your stomach uneasy. Nothing helped, not ginger ale, 7-up, Sprite, cranberry juice, tea, nor sports drinks. You suspected it was your anxiety manifesting in an upset stomach, so you didn’t stress the flight attendant with helping ease it.

Now it was 3am Barcelona time and you were steadily approaching the penthouse that Lewis was staying in. The closer you got the more nervous you got. When the car began to slow down in front of a cute building with adorable Verona-style balconies you groaned. It was time to face the music. The driver unloaded your bags and helped you inside to the door. As he was about to ring the bell you stopped him and told him you could take it from there.

Once you were alone in front of the door you took a few breaths and tried to get control over your nerves. Before you could ring the bell though, the door opened and there stood Lewis in a white sleeveless T-shirt and grey sweat shorts. Instantly you pouted and waited for him to speak first.

“C’mere,” Lewis said holding open his arms for you.

Without hesitation you rushed into his arms and allowed him to hold you.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as he stepped back into the penthouse taking you with him.

He lifted you off your feet and carried you inside. When he placed you down on a soft couch, he kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back.”

Lewis disappeared for a few minutes. You assumed he was bringing in your luggage and rolling them into the bedroom. By the time he came back, you still had no idea what to say. He kneeled in front of you and lifted your chin.

“I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”

Your stomach churned then and you clasped your hands over your mouth while gagging.

“What’s wrong?”

You pointed to your throat, and he got it instantly. Lewis rushed through the halls showing you to the bathroom. Dropping to your knees, you allowed every drink you’d consumed on the flight to empty into the toilet. As you retched Lewis dipped beside you and rubbed your back like the perfectly sweet man he was. It only intensified your “you ain’t shit” feeling and you began crying.

“What? What’s wrong? It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No baby. Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s a baby, a blessing. Not the end of the world.”

You cried more and repeated your sorries. It was all you could get out. You remained on your knees in front of the toilet vomiting with Lewis rubbing your back and whispering soft words to you promising everything would be just fine. After, he got you in the tub and washed your body for you as you relaxed against him. He rubbed every knot out of your muscle, massaged every tension from your scalp, while making your skin gleam and glow.

When he got you in bed he topped it all off with a body massage from head to toe. You didn’t deserve it at all. When you laid on his chest, you tried to find the words.

“Lewis,” you began with a meek voice.

“Princess.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. I don’t know when along the line of our relationship you got the impression that I was some asshole who would be angry about something like that. I’m not,” he assured.

“You’re not an asshole. I’m the asshole.”

Lewis rolled over to peer into your eyes. “What?”

“How? Why?”

“I—I lied,” you quietly finished.

“Lied? About what?”

“The baby.”

You watched worry and fear wash over his face.

“What do you mean?”

“It—it was supposed to be a prank.”

Lewis rushed a breath out then dropped on his back to stare at the ceiling.

“It was supposed to be payback for your last prank on me with my OB appointment. I didn’t expect you to take it like this. I thought you’d be mad and freak out a little. I didn’t think that you—want it.”

He was so quiet and so unreadable right now you worried he was really hurt.

“I’m sorry baby. I feel like shit now. I didn’t mean to--.”

“So you’re not pregnant.”

“No,” you quietly replied.

Lewis scoffed, covered his face. “Wow.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Wow. Wow. Wow. I was really—I truly—jeez.”

He sat up and stared out into the darkness. You didn’t know how to make this better. You could sense his disappointment, sense his hurt that it wasn’t real. You were speechless and so confused about how long he’d been secretly wanting a baby. Right now didn’t feel like the right time to inquire though.

“Okay. You got me.”

You leaned forward to study his face. “That’s it?”

“Yeah. You got me. I really thought you were pregnant, especially with the way you’ve been acting the last few weeks. Ha! Good one.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Angry that you had the balls to prank me like this or angry that you’re not pregnant?”

You thought about it for a quick minute. “Both.”

Even he looked to think about it. “I’m not angry about the prank. I'd been wondering what you’d do to get me back, but I let my guard down. It was a good prank, ballsy, especially putting it on social but it was good,” he explained.

“And the other?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m angry you’re not pregnant. I’m—disappointed. I should be relieved because as you know our lives right now are chaotic. You with your business, me, and F1. Adding a baby in now would be nuts.”

You heard a but. “But?”

Lewis chewed the inside of his mouth for a few moments then he laid back down. “But the longer I sat with it and thought about what it meant the more I wanted it. I wasn’t mad, or freaking out for the most part, I was relieved it was with you.”

Your heart melted. You rolled on top of him and splayed yourself across his chest. “I’m sorry baby.”

Lewis wrapped his arms around you and traced his fingertips up and down your bare spine.

“How do you feel about a baby—our baby?”

You thought about it for a few moments dividing points into pro and con columns in your head.

“I understand what you’re saying. Our lives are hectic right now. You just signed a contract extension with Mercedes which means more racing, more time away from home. My lingerie line has been blowing up and I just opened a second store location. Things will only get more and more hectic.”

“I want us both to be present,” Lewis added.

“Yeah.”

A contemplative silence filled the room. Both of you were lost in your own thoughts.

“Do you want to have a baby with me, though?”

Your head popped up meeting Lewis’ eyes.

“Only you. No one else.”

A smile slowly spread across Lewis’ lips.

“Only you, no one else,” he repeated.

You kissed him gently and that kiss intensified within seconds. Soon your hands were pushing down Lewis’ shorts with urgency needing to get closer. You were already bare for him, but he needed to catch up. Once his shorts were rumpled at the foot of the bed, you straddled his hips and lowered yourself on his ready and waiting member.

Both of you sighed out in unison relishing the pleasure you only found in each other. As you slowly rocked back and forth on him, Lewis’ hands gripped your hips helping you move. Bit by bit he picked up the pace taking full control of the way your body moved. Back and forth, round and round, up and down.

When you began bouncing on him, Lewis abandoned your hips to cup your breasts. His moans filled the room as his eyes drank in every inch of you. In no time, you felt your orgasm creep up on you. Lewis flipped you onto your back, placed your ankle on his shoulder then took over. That was the final push to send you over the edge.

“Fuuuuck!”

“Mmm!”

Lewis brought your other leg to join the first then held you off the bed as he flicked his hips forward with such force the bed jerked giving the craftmanship a run for its money.

“Yes, baby. Right there!”

“Yeah right there? Like this?”

He slowed his moves, then pulled out fully only to slam his hips into you filling you to capacity. Every time he did it you yelped unable to control yourself.

“Like that?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm, I’m going to fill this sweet little pussy up. You’re gonna be so fucking full of me you can’t walk.”

Lewis ground his hips against you making you feel how impossibly deep he was. Instinctively, you pressed against his abs hoping to keep him at bay, however, he wasn’t having it. Lewis dropped your legs, hovered over you then began rocking into you in the most artful way. His body rocked, ebbed, flowed, rolled, and torpedoed you into yet another release.

As you clenched around him, Lewis groaned.

“So fucking tight. You loving this dick baby?”

“Yes, I love your dick baby. Fuck me.”

“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum, you’re so beautiful when you take this dick.”

You cupped your breasts, holding them out like ripe fruit for him. Lewis dipped down and bit down on your nipple making you wetter than ever.

“Fuuuuuck!”

Lewis lowered his lips to your ear as he fucked into you. “You’d look so fucking pretty with my baby in you. Makes me want to fill this tight cunt up.”

“Fill me, baby. I want your hot cum, I want it now," you whined.

Lewis locked eyes with you just as his hand wrapped around your throat. Rolling your eyes to the back of your head, you let him use you as he wanted.

“You want me to cum deep in this pretty pussy?”

Yes!”

“You’re gonna keep every fucking drop, right where I put it.”

“Fuck Lewis, I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum with me princess.”

His thrusts sped until you were seeing stars and rainbows. It was an impossibility, but it was what you saw. Your moans matched, desires synced and desperation for one another took over. Lewis flicked his hips forward then came so hard and so deep his grunts were all you heard as he released stream after stream. Your body broke out into shivers at the thought of him intentionally trying to knock you up.

Lewis pulled back and dropped his attention between your legs. Slowly he pulled out only to shove himself back inside. It was like he was trying to keep every single drop of himself inside of your body.

“Fuck baby, this pussy looks so good with me dripping out.”

“How good?”

“So good I’m gonna fill you again.”

With that, Lewis crashed his lips to yours and in seconds round two had begun. You felt sorry for him tomorrow because he would be useless with how little sleep he would have gotten. He didn’t seem bothered in the least though. His only thought was fucking you into oblivion until he’d planted a seed.

The next afternoon, you woke alone with a note on Lewis’ pillow.

“See you on the paddock. Love you.”

You sat up and a sea of nausea filled you. Quickly you ran to the bathroom and heaved the contents of your stomach into the toilet. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand what was going on. You’d confessed about the prank you weren’t anxious anymore. Why were you sick? Could it have been jet lag? You’d never experienced nausea with jet lag before and the flight was only 2 hours long. As you went through the possibilities, you continued to heave.

After 20 or so minutes, you got back into bed with your phone and began googling reasons for nausea when first waking. You’d barely put your head on the pillow before the first result popped up. The result had you bolting upward with wide eyes.

“No fucking way.”

You kept scrolling but your mind still lingered on the first result. You thought back over the last weeks to a month trying to debunk it. You’d only made it a few seconds before your eyes widened even more. You swiped open your love tracker and scanned through the last few weeks. There were so many red colored in boxes, that signified every day you’d been intimate, throughout the month you began to panic.

“No way. Right?”

You sprang out of bed and hurried to get dressed. As you did, you tried to find the closest drugstore. In record time you found yourself in the back of the chauffeured car that Lewis had left behind for you to get to the racing grounds. As the car zipped through traffic, your brain was going almost as fast as a Mercedes race car. You were afraid to put your hat in any basket because you just didn't know what was going on.

With your dark sunglasses on and one of Lewis’ bucket hats tipped low, you dipped inside the store and did a once around the store to be sure no one had recognized or noticed you. You then walked in the general vicinity of where those items rested. If you were a NASCAR driver and this was a pit stop, you would have been the fastest back on the track. In less than 5 minutes you were back in the car and headed back to the penthouse.

Soon you sat in the bathroom at the edge of the huge porcelain tub staring at the 14 boxes of pregnancy tests. You couldn't decide on which one, so you bought 2 of every brand, 5 from brands you knew and the other 2 from unheard-of probably local brands. With a large juiced vegetable and fruit blend in hand, you attempted to finish it off. Since you'd returned another bout of nausea hit you that took nearly 30 minutes to pass.

Right now you were stalling. You had to pee so you could easily take them but it was the thought that crippled you. Right now the unknown felt like a comforting place to be. In 10 or so minutes you would either be disappointed or happy. You were in Lewis' shoes in reverse.

You sighed, guzzled the rest of the juice, then slammed it on the sink counter as a wave of determination filled you.

“Okay, Okay, okay. I got this. I got this. I got this!”

You grabbed the disposable mouthwash cup then tackled it head-on. Once you’d finished and ripped open every bod, you dripped the tips into the cup and laid them all out on the counter. You’d told yourself to sit right back on the edge of the tub, but your legs would not obey. So, you paced the room. Back and forth, back, and forth, round and round, corner to corner, wall to wall.

By the time your phone went off indicating time was up, you were perched on the porcelain tub staring out to nothing thinking of everything. You remained there for a minute more trying to control your breathing then you stood and approached the mess of tests on the counter in organized chaos.

Hyping yourself, you took the first up and stared at the window. Your breath hitched and you moved to take another test up. Glancing at it, you were met with the same answer. You sifted through the tests, taking them up, looking at the results, and moving to the next. You checked once, then twice and every single one of them mirrored back one collective and cohesive—positive.

“Plot fucking twist,” you said.

Your phone sounded making you open your messages to see Lewis’ name.

MSG Lewis: Feeling better?

You scoffed. His timing was impeccable. You took another calming breath before you replied.

MSG: Not much but I’m okay.

MSG Lewis: Still throwing up?

MSG: Here and there.

MSG Lewis: You can stay in bed today. I’ll see you after.

MSG: Not a chance. I’ll be there. Wouldn’t want to miss your P1.

MSG Lewis: Don’t push yourself.

MSG: Says the man who only got like an hour of sleep because he kept pushing for round after round.

MSG Lewis: Wasn’t much pushing needed. You know I can go for days.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always cocky; it didn’t matter about what. You stepped back and took a picture of all the tests making sure a few showed the results then you began getting yourself ready.

~~~~~~~

By the time you got to the racing grounds, it was packed. With two of Lewis’ guards flanking your left and right, you walked through saying hello to the drivers, waving at faces you knew, and taking some footage for your socials. You even had some approach you to congratulate you on the pregnancy. It tripped you up for a second because you’d just found out but then you remembered your prank that had gone wrong and was not right back on track. Every time someone came up and said it you couldn’t help but giggle. It was all so ironic.

Once you made it to Mercedes, the crew saw you first. They began clapping and as you approached. When you were close enough many of them patted you on the back as they expressed their happiness over the news.

“Our first Mercedes driver baby. Congratulations.”

“Uh, thank—you.”

You smiled and tipped your head at the others who were smiling from ear to ear. Toto approached with a grin.

“Such great news, Y/N. You and Lewis are going to be amazing parents. You can count on Suzie and me up for babysitting.”

You nervouisly giggled. “I think we’ll hold you to that.”

“Eh-em.”

To the left Lewis approached with his brow crooked.

“There he is, the soon to be dad.”

He looked evidently uncomfortable as he stood beside you.

“About that," Lewis began.

“He’s going to be such an amazing dad,” you said while staring at him.

The two of you stood there staring at one another. You in complete love and adoration of him, and he in utter confusion. Gradually everyone took the hint and went back to what they were doing before you got there.

“What’re—what’re you doing? Shouldn’t you be telling them it was all a prank?”

“Maybe that’s how it started but—we’re past that now.”

“What do you mean?”

You laced your fingers with his then smiled.

“I—I’m pregnant.”

Lewis looked even more confused.

“What? Is this about last night? I’m sure it’s too soon to be--."

You snorted as you rolled your eyes. “Seriously?”

“What? You said it wasn’t real.”

“It wasn’t, not then. Or maybe it was but I didn’t know. You didn’t put a baby in me last night. There was already one in me. I got sick again this morning and that made me look back into some things on my calendars which had me taking 14 pregnancy tests and they are all positive.”

Lewis’s eyes widened.

“What?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’m pregnant.”

“For real, for real?”

“So for real for real.”

Lewis looked down to your stomach area, then to your face. He smiled before he lifted you into the air. You laughed as he spun you around. Your combined laughter brought the attention of nearly everyone around you.

“Oh my god. We’re having a baby?”

He put you down then peered into your eyes. “Yep.”

He snorted then laughed heartily. “What a fucking plot twist.”

“Right! oh my god.”

The two of you cackled together before he kissed you, not caring who was watching. When his hand cupped your backside you squealed.

“Behave.”

“Not a chance. I can’t believe I put a baby in you.”

“Me neither.”

“Are you happy?”

You smiled and nodded. “Very.”

The way he smiled back at you made your heart swell. You were sure you looked like fools in love giggling with each other like idiots but neither of you cared. Lewis cupped your cheek and then softly caressed your skin.

“You and me.”

You took his other hand and put it on your stomach.

“Plus baby makes three. And with Roscoe--.”

“Makes a home,” Lewis finished.

A stray tear rolled down your cheek, but Lewis’ thumb flicked it away then kissed the spot it once laid.

The news must have been what he needed because a few hours later he stood on that podium claiming that P1. You beamed at him while you tenderly held your nonexistent bump, feeling closer to him than ever before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #plus baby makes three one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton blurb

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stitchzin · 2 months

Text

Sasuke The Demisexual King

I was a bit apprehensive about making this post because English is not my native language. So, apologies in advance. But thank you @kirinlady for the comment.

First of all, being demisexual has nothing to do with being gay or straight; you can be either. Another point is that you can have your headcanon; you are free to do so. But I am focusing on the canon line Kishimoto intended, which was SasuSaku from the start, according to the databooks and the novels.

There is A LOT OF CONTEXT SO GET READY.

Let's start!

In the first part of the Naruto series, Sasuke is very touch-deprived, traumatized by his family's murder by his brother, living in the house where they were killed, and self-isolating. A more correct way to describe it is to say he is touch-starved. Lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

Sasuke had been without care for so long that being touched in a non-aggressive way might have given him sensory overload.

It's important to discuss these points when it comes to Sasuke's story. Naruto was also touch-deprived, but he externalized it, while Sasuke internalized it. This context aside:

A good part of the reason why people think Sasuke is gay is because he repels the touch of women and rejects flirtations from many girls. Sasuke doesn't need to feel anything towards these people, no matter their intentions. A man rejecting a girl does not make him gay, just as a girl rejecting a guy does not make her a lesbian. People have the right to their own bodies. It doesn't matter if you or many people would act differently; Sasuke is not that guy.

As I said, you can have your headcanon, but even fictional characters are people. Doubting someone's sexuality just because they don't follow a pattern says more about people in real life than about the character.

A good example is Gaara, who is clearly asexual with clear romantic feelings towards Naruto. I can see that in him more than in Sasuke. But this is my headcanon. I said Asexual no Aromantic.

Back in the series, Sasuke eventually gets more comfortable with Team 7. Kakashi respects his boundaries, Naruto is not the hugging type with him, but Sakura is another story. He can not avoid her like all the girls.

But this time is different. He sees her maturing, becoming a friend to him, and like a sister to Naruto. And this is the part where Sasuke starts to change. Seeing Sakura and Naruto's interactions makes him angry, maybe jealous. Sakura's attention was entirely his, but now it isn't, though a lot of it still is for him.

And this healthy distance makes him realize he misses her, maybe even wants her close. This brings us to the second part of being touch-deprived: What do you do when someone touches you? Mostly, he stands there or keeps his arms still. But he is not annoyed or pushing her away. He could, but he just doesn't want to.

She has such power over him that she can stop him even while he is controlled by Orochimaru's seal. He reaches for her while in pain, he gets mad when she is hurt. We all love the phase "who did this to you". He remembers her hug when he is losing control. She is that light.

They are kids at this point, but I really think he had feelings already. He wanted to protect her as a friend, and as something he did not understand. Lets not mention the blant Jealousy at adate ( =I think that's his name", and feeling powerless when Naruto saves her instead of him. But he had no time to figure out his feelings before being manipulated by Orochimaru's machinations to leave.

Even when he left, Sasuke accepted her feelings but chose to go anyway. But accepting her feelings, doesn't mean he is ready or is the time to act on them.

I have a post on their goodbye.

Now to the point of the post: Is Sasuke demisexual?

Demisexuality means being sexually attracted to someone only when you have an emotional bond with them.

The first part of the post was about 12-year-olds. This part is about 15/16-year-olds. Sasuke could have had any girl, and this is the age where most people's hormones are crazy. But he does not feel that need.

When facing Sakura for the first time, he recognizes her immediately. Sure, her hair is the same, but it has been three years. He is not attacking; he is just looking at her. It could be coldness, or it could be a boy who does not know what to do. I can't know what would have happened if they were alone. Sasuke shifts after Naruto gets there. His voice tone is different; he is not as pleased to see Naruto as he is to see her.

(there are great fics on this cenario, I would love some links because it was the SasuSaku fanfiction golden age)

This part is a more general view, but MOST demisexuals don't flirt like most people. Since it is deeply connected to emotions, there are a lot of acts of service, a lot of stares, and small touches. Much of what Sasuke shows towards Sakura and only Sakura.

And there is Karin. I dont have her, I like her. She is a great charact with great backstory if you don't agree fight me.

But Karin is very disrespectuful at the begning. Maybe that is why there was so much hate.

Sasuke pushes Karin away in a more respectful way than she behaves with him. He is not interested in that. Karin is pretty; anyone would want to be with her, but Sasuke did not because does not have feelings for her, plus she did not respect him. Even traveling with him for some time, she still did not respect his boundaries. Maybe that is why he has no warm feelings towards her. Feelings that would keep him from doing that infamous Danzo scene.

Karin did nothing to harm Sasuke, yet he harmed her because she wasn't important to him. So there were no feelings to hold him back, even a little. The once-manipulated Sasuke, this time by Obito, had no problem getting rid of her.

Yes, he was wrong. Terribly wrong, because she had helped him so many times. But the reason was that she wanted him carnally. And this does not flowrish in Sasuke.

Sakura and Sasuke are on a whole other level. Sasuke was fed up with Naruto and Kakashi because, even though Sakura also wanted him in the village, her methods to pursue him were different on his eyes. Sakura had hugged him, Sakura had begged him to stay. He had a completely different vision of her.

He attacked Naruto first.

But Sakura attacked him first, so he reacted.

I really think "losing Sakura" made him even madder. He dived even deeper into his sadness. She was that one thing he was sure about. Honestly, I think his offer was to push her away because hurting her would hurt him.

Sasuke put those feelings inside once more. But seeing her again at the war, he answers only to her. The more he tries to push her away, the stronger those feelings come. And he is always watching her. He smiles when she destroys the ground, she shakes when she calls him.

And he claims, "I have no reason to be loved by her or to love her," even if that was not what Kakashi said or asked. He said Sakura wanted to help him. Honestly, he brought up the romance card. The moments their eyes clicked, when he came to save her and succeeded, the way he once felt powerless to do as a child. So he puts her to sleep because her words would stop him.

Maybe he could take Naruto in a fight, but he could not handle Sakura's cry one more time.

Because he thinks he does not deserve her. He leaves and travels. Again, he could have had anyone at this time once more. Now a man with crimes pardoned, a respected man. Only when he was complete did he come back.

People talk about Sakura's constant "afterglow" when Sasuke is in the village. They comment that they have pillow talks, the intimacy he craves, and a person to go and call home.

Sasuke never loved another because he had already accepted Sakura's feelings at age 12. Sasuke never wanted another physically because he had wished for only one person. His desires are connected to his emotions.

Sasuke says that no matter how far they are, or how long they haven't seen each other, his feelings for Sakura will never change.

And neither have hers.

Ending with this frame because it shows what I think is the start of his feelings. Look at how beautiful she is; this is Sasuke's vision. I think Sakura is very pretty. But here, she is much prettier than normal.

He sees her as more beautiful than we do.

#sakura #sasuke #naruto #naruto classic #naruto shippuden #pro sasusaku #sasusaku #demisexual #sasuke x sakura #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura

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kpopsexstories · 2 months

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jist recently found out about your acc and WOAH I NEED IT especially the jisung gay one my bottom ass was LIVID now i need a dream version where they treat me like their pocketpussy cause of the dating ban and cause they cant for the life of them have a girl 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i am ready for all 7

Wow, this made even me blush 🤭 Are we doing this? Yes, we are doing this 😄 Let's move on from Jisung, to Heachan...

GAY #3: NCT Haechan 'Dating Ban'

NCT Haechan can’t date. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs (*Requested*)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut or this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Haechan x Bottom male reader

Content: Blowjob, Haechan fucks you from behind against a couch

Type of Sex: MEDIUM

Word Count: 3.6k

Click here to read the previous 'Dating Ban' story with NCT's Jisung.

You're on the couch of the NCT Dream communal living room. Haechan is lounging beside you, with bare legs and his feet brushing against your thigh. He's in a dark hoodie and really short shorts.

He's focused on the TV too, but you can swear that he's glanced at you several times since you started the movie. You can sense it in the corner of your eye. His feet have gradually moved closer to you.

They poke your thigh as Haechan stretches out. No biggie. You may be Jisung's best friend, but you're on good terms with all of the boys and feel like you know them pretty well. It actually feels good that they can be so comfortable in your presence.

Haechan suddenly lifts his bare feet and puts them in your lap. You instinctively turn to look at him.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“Sure,” you say and smile at him. You rest your hand on his ankle.

You sit like this for a while, and you can swear Haechan is looking at you again. You become fully aware of it as he appears to keep staring for quite some time.

You begin to stroke his leg. The skin is nice and smooth. Gradually, your strokes get longer. You go to his toes and all the way up to his knee.

Until you reach his thigh. It feels thrilling to touch the man like this, and you're getting closer and closer to sensitive parts. Though he was first to test your boundaries, you wonder at what point he will find your touching weird.

When Haechan doesn't move or stop you, and you keep feeling his gaze upon you, you finally turn to face him.

“Is it true that you and Jisung had sex?” he asks when you look him in the eye.

The question surprises you. You had thought that was something Jisung would want to keep a secret.

“Did he tell you that?” you ask and laugh.

“Yeah. Is it true?”

You hesitate for a moment. “Yes,” you finally admit.

Haechan smiles faintly at you, then adds: “You know, he's not the only one with a dating ban…”

There's no point in dancing around the subject. You've been around, sexually that is, and you can sense where this is going. Haechan's feet near your crotch, your hand on his bare thigh, his curiosity and questions. They must mean something. And yes, if asked, you wouldn't say no to Haechan.

You giggle. “Are you horny?” you ask and let your hand wander higher still. Your fingers are almost touching the bottom of his shorts.

Haechan decides not to dance either. “Yes,” he says.

“Do you want to have sex?” you ask.

“Yes,” Haechan replies.

You smile at the man crookedly. “Haechan… Are you gay?”

“No. But neither is Jisung.”

Fair point, you think. I love this dating ban.

“I'm not some sex toy for you to play with,” you point out.

“Is that a no then?”

Uh-oh, I'm losing him. “I didn't say that.”

“What's it like anyway?” Haechan asks.

“What's what like?”

“Sex with another man.”

You smile wide, turn your body and fold a leg under you as you scoot up on the couch. “Oh, it's wonderful,” you say and lean on your elbow on the backrest of the couch. “An asshole is so much tighter than a pussy.”

Haechan's eyes widen. “Isn't it disgusting?”

“I mean, it is a hole meant for… something else. But no, not if you clean yourself properly before doing it.”

“Doesn't it hurt?”

“It can. But it's individual. It usually doesn't hurt me.”

Haechan gives you a teasing smirk. “Because you're so used to it?”

What he's implying is rude, but it isn't wrong. You've always been promiscuous. You decide to laugh at the joke. “That might be part of it. But I've always been able to take a dick, no problem.”

A moment's pause follows. Then Haechan finally does ask what you've been hoping he'll ask: “Will you take mine?”

Yes! you think. “Hmm, I don't know,” you say, but really only just to tease him back.

Haechan's smile fades and you realize that you might lose him again. To keep the sexual conversation going, you add: “You wouldn't find it disgusting?”

“Are you clean?”

“Always.”

“Then no. Look, last night I fucked a peach. That's how sexually frustrated I am.”

“Gee, such a romantic,” you say and laugh. “I feel so flattered.”

Haechan reaches out and slaps you playfully on the arm. You laugh and jolt, and when you lean back down your hand slides even higher up Haechan's thigh. This time, your fingers reach all the way inside the shorts.

“Alright,” you say. “I'll have sex with you. If that's what you want.”

Haechan's eyes widen again, and his smile is bigger than ever. “Yes!” he says eagerly.

Blowjob starts here…

Without saying anything else you scoot closer to him. You reach all the way in with the hand. You feel the bottom of Haechan's underwear and stick your fingers inside them.

His dick is already growing and he feels a tingle between his legs. You find the dick and touch it, then wrap your fingers around the shaft. It grows to full size in your hand.

Haechan keeps looking at you, and you at him. You stare at each other until you stroke the cock and Haechan closes his eyes, as lust and pleasure takes hold of his body.

He opens his mouth and inhales deeply, then breathes out slowly.

“Does it feel good?” you ask.

“Oh yeah,” Haechan moans. He pulls himself a little higher on the couch.

You follow, half way laying down beside him to reach the cock. You take your arm off the backrest and go for the top of Haechan's shorts.

Slowly, you begin to slide them down. He lets you, and even lifts his ass slightly to aid you.

“How long do we have before the others are back?” he suddenly asks and opens his eyes.

“At least another hour. Don't worry, I have a feeling you'll be done long before then.”

Haechan stares at you as the shorts slide down his hips. You lift his underwear to free his dick, and look on with anticipation as it appears. He pulls his hoodie up to give your hands more space.

You can hardly believe that Haechan is letting you do this, that the straight man wants this, and that, if this is going where it appears to be going, you'll have sexually pleasured two of the Dream team members in two days.

You let go of the dick to pull the shorts all the way down. Haechan lifts his hoodie even higher, revealing his soft tummy. Soon enough, he's laying half naked in front of you while you jerk him off faster.

You wonder where his limits lie. A hand job is one thing, but what would he feel about a blowjob? You decide to find out. You know that you're an excellent sucker, and once Haechan has gotten a taste of that he simply won't be able to say no. You've got him exactly where you want him.

You lean all the way down while looking at him for a reaction. He's got his eyes closed again though and can't see your approach. You decide to act swiftly.

You open your mouth wide and put the full length of the shaft inside it. You build up a significant amount of saliva, then slowly drag your lips upwards, tightly sealed around the cock.

“Holy fuck,” Haechan exclaims when you wet his dick.

You stick out your tongue and play around with it. “You like it?” you ask when the head falls out of your mouth again.

“Oh my God,” Haechan moans. He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it hard. “Yes, don't stop.”

What ensues is a most wonderful blowjob, something Haechan has never experienced before in his life. You have, and you take great pleasure in making the man squirm and moan in front of you.

The blowjob is short though. You lick, kiss and suck for almost a minute, until Haechan is so overcome with the pleasure you spawn in him that he pulls your hair.

“Stop,” he suddenly exclaims. Then he repeats the word, a little calmer when your head becomes frozen in place. “Stop. You're gonna make me come.”

You release the cock and look at him with a smirk. “Isn't that the point?” you ask.

“Yeah, but didn't Jisung get to fuck you?”

“He did. You want that too?”

Haechan looks at you with puppy eyes. “Yes,” he almost whispers.

You work hard to contain your excitement. This is insane! Calmly, you sit up straight and hold out your hand.

Haechan takes it and you both stand up. He follows you, but then pulls your arm when you attempt to lead him into Jisung's bedroom, where you're sleeping during your week-long visit.

“Wait,” he says. “I want to do it here.”

“On the couch?” you ask and raise your eyebrow.

“In the living room. It's not often we have the place to ourselves like this. I want to take full advantage of that.”

“Alright,” you say with a smirk. You let go of the hand and playfully grab Haechan's hard dick. “I'll be right back.”

You turn around and leave the man standing there, half naked and a little confused. You go to Jisung's room to grab a tube of lube from your bag, then disappear into the bathroom.

You smile to yourself when you wonder what Haechan is doing right now. You've left him hanging, and he must wonder what's taking so long.

Let him wait, you think. This is fun.

When you return to the living room, Haechan has taken his shirt off. He's sitting naked on the couch with a pillow covering his crotch. Maybe a part of him is worried that the boys will come home earlier than expected, and he wants to hurry up.

You have the same worry. “Are you sure we shouldn't go to the bedroom?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says. “Just relax.”

You scoff, then giggle. You should be the one who's helping him relax.

With the tube of lube in one hand you hold out the other. Haechan takes it, removes the pillow from his dick and stands up.

“So how…” he begins, but you interrupt him. You pull him closer and kiss him on the lips.

Shit, I shouldn't have done that, you think. But Haechan doesn't seem to mind.

Your eyes meet and you smile softly at each other. Your hand falls down his side and grabs the still hard cock. Then you take his arm and guide it, to the front of your pants.

“Take them off me,” you whisper.

To your delight Haechan is quick to comply. He undoes the button and pulls down the zipper.

With your pants half open, you walk to the side of the couch. You gently pull Haechan's arm to encourage him to go with you. You stand facing the couch and lean on the armrest with one hand, guiding Haechan to go behind you with the other.

You put his hand on your hip, then yours on the couch. You spread your legs slightly and straighten your spine, bending your body in an almost ninety degree angle.

“Take them off,” you say and turn your head, to see the man in the corner of your eye. This is a test. You don't want to push him, but want to see if he's willing to work for what he's asked for.

Haechan looks down, grabs the top of your pants and underwear, and slowly starts to pull. The seams round your cheeks and your ass is revealed. He strokes it softly while taking in the sight.

“Here,” you say and hand him the tube. “Put some in your hand and rub it on your dick.”

Haechan seems to take forever. You reaffirm your stance and spread your legs a little more, and move your elbows closer together on the armrest.

Eventually, Haechan returns the tube by holding his hand out beside you. “Done,” he says in a cheerful tone.

You bend your spine and hunch over, to reach in between your legs. You find your asshole and stick a finger in it. Haechan has a hand on your hip, just below your shirt.

“Get closer,” you say. Haechan takes a small step forward, and you feel the dick brush against your cheeks. You reach in even further. “Right here.”

Sex starts here…

Haechan understands the instruction. He takes his cock and puts it near the hole. You stretch yourself with your fingers, until you feel the head press against them. You pout your ass to help Haechan get into position.

When the head is pushing harder against your asshole, you remove your hand and instead reach around your body. You find Haechan's naked ass and pull him closer still. His hand becomes firmer around your hip, and he holds his breath when the slippery cock eventually slides inside.

“Ahh,” you moan, partly to encourage the man. “Oh yeah, fuck me Haechan.”

It does the trick. The hard part is over. If Haechan ever had any reservations – which his initial questions suggest that he did but which his actions seem to prove that he does not – he's already overcome them. Now, all that remains is to make him come, and you secretly hope that he'll go all the way and do so in your ass.

When the shaft is half way in, Haechan begins to rock his hips slowly back and forth. He's still quiet and you wonder what is going through his head. But as he grows comfortable with the sensation, and the reality of what you're doing, he gradually picks up the pace.

“Oh, yes, fuck me,” you moan again, hoping that it will help him feel more relaxed. “Yes, Haechan, fuck me.”

You feel a second hand on your hips, as he grabs you tighter and thrusts a little harder into you.

“Faster,” you encourage. He heeds your words and starts to pull your whole body onto his shaft.

“Yes, that's it,” you say. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Haechan is deep inside you, fucking you fast and hard from behind, grimacing and grunting occasionally while pulling your hair with an arm stretched long above your back. Your legs are spread wide and your head is tilted so far back you face the ceiling. Your eyes are closed and your mouth wide open, and you clench the front of your shirt to hold it up and keep it from falling down onto your ass and Haechan's hands and cock.

“Oh, yes, ahh, fuck me, fuck me!” you almost scream repeatedly. “Yes, yes, ahh, your cock feels so good, yes, Haechan, you're amazing.”

The way you submit yourself to him and allow him to fuck your ass so passionately proves to be an immense turn-on for Haechan. Maybe it's the deeply rooted sexual frustration, caused by the now infamous dating ban, but you'd like to think that the man is not as straight as he might claim to be. Maybe he's hiding it, from the world and maybe even from himself, another possible consequence of strict SM policies and cultural taboos.

Whatever the case, the sex is great. You love Haechan's dick inside you, and judging from his eager thrusts and lustful grunts, he's loving it too. You're surprised by how much he's evolved since you sat on the couch and stroke his legs.

The couch is shaking violently on the floor and you let out another scream. You can hear Haechan pant behind you, as he lets loose and puts and end to God knows how many months of sexual frustration.

He does not get to come, however, before the sex is unexpectedly interrupted.

“What the fuck?” a voice suddenly exclaims.

You immediately stand up straight and grab a pillow to cover your crotch. Haechan pulls you closer, slipping his cock in deeper, as he's trying to hide behind your half naked body.

Chenle is standing in the door. He stares at you with his mouth wide open, then bursts out in an instant fit of laughter.

“Go away Chenle!” Haechan shouts. But rather than pulling out he only holds you tighter and pulls you closer.

Chenle looks away, but doesn't stop laughing.

“Are you alone?” you ask calmly.

“Yeah,” Chenle says. “But I can call the others and tell them to hurry back.”

“Don't,” Haechan pleads. “Please, Chenle. Go to your room.”

Chenle calms himself and looks at the spectacle again. “I mean, I don't want to interrupt your… fun time,” he says and waves his hand as if painting a picture of whatever it is he's witnessing.

“Thank you,” Haechan says, and to your surprise he's not ending the sex right then and there the way you expect him to do. “We're nearly done, just let me finish.”

“Take your time,” Chenle says and walks away. You hear his door closing behind him.

You turn your head and giggle. “What the fuck?” you ask, having just gone through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

Haechan begins to laugh too. Then you feel his body relax behind you, as he gently pulls up your shirt while slowly thrusting forward, pressing his pelvis against your ass cheeks.

“Wait, you don't want to stop?” you ask, genuinely confused by the situation. “Shouldn't we?”

“Why?” Haechan asks. “It's only Chenle. He's already seen us anyway, so what's the point? You don't want to help me?”

You scoff at the remark. What does the man think you're doing? But hey, if he wants to continue, you don't want to back out now either.

So you reach behind your head and push on Haechan's neck. His cheek brushes against yours as he rests his chin on your shoulder. He wraps his arms around your chest and stomach, gliding them all over your body and inside your shirt.

Gradually, his gentle thrusts begin to pick up the pace again, and you suddenly feel the need to be completely quiet. There's no more screaming or violent thrusting, only shallow breaths and gentle moans, as you pull your shirt higher and Haechan holds you tighter.

His thrusts remain slow but hard. He takes his time when he pulls back, but jolts each time he thrusts hard and fast back in. He repeats the sequence, a little faster and harder each time.

You open your mouth again and tilt your head back. Still with your hand on his neck you moan softly each time he hits you, and his cock is jammed inside you.

You feel his breath on your skin and hear him panting by your ear. You don't want this to end, but know that any of the others could return at any moment. Or Chenle might grow weary of staying in his room.

“Oh yeah, come for me baby,” you say, partly to encourage Haechan to finish.

He stops moving his hands and buries his face in your neck. He holds you tight around the chest while thrusting hard. He keeps going at a steady pace, until he's finally brought over the edge.

“Ah, yes, come for me,” you whisper when he holds his breath and plants his lips on your skin. ”Come inside me.”

Haechan eventually jolts a final time, and you can tell that it's the finish line from the way he grunts and suddenly digs his fingers into your skin.

He erupts inside you, releasing his load in a powerful explosion. He hasn't been this horny and felt such a strong orgasm since before the last time he had sex. Or maybe ever, at least you'd like to believe that. Regardless, the long period of sexless existence is over for him, or at least reset at zero.

“Ahhh,” he sighs deeply when he's finished, and his body comes down from his orgasm.

“Mm,” you moan. “Holy shit, you're so good Haechan.”

You can feel his smile against your skin. “No, you are,” he says softly. “Thank you.”

You turn your head to kiss his cheek. “You're welcome babe.”

Now that it's over, however, you're quick to push him away, encouraging him to pull out. You don't want anyone else to see you, and you wonder how you can explain all this to Chenle.

But then you realize that maybe Chenle is more Haechan's problem than yours. You should probably worry more about Jisung, and what he might think of what you and Haechan have done. You have no idea if your best friend will laugh or get mad, if he ever finds out.

You wonder if you should tell him or not, and whether Haechan will. The boys all seem to be very tight.

For now, you decide to let it go. What's done is done. You release your shirt and pull your pants back up, and help Haechan gather his clothes. He too gets dressed, and when your eyes meet he smiles wide at you.

You smile back. You're happy to be of service, because maybe you wanted this even more than Haechan did. It really was good sex.

“You can come out now,” Haechan suddenly shouts.

“Okay, thanks,” Chenle yells back, but he doesn't open the door.

You sit back down on the couch, and Haechan lays down beside you. You un-pause the movie and Haechan immediately puts his feet in your lap again. You watch in silence while you gently stroke his legs, get fully into the movie, and wait for the boys to return.

Click here to read the previous 'Dating Ban' story with NCT's Jisung.

Click here to buy me a coffee.

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66sharkteeth · 4 months

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Weekly thoughts Ep 173-

Well i said last week that I'd definitely have more thoughts this week, but here I am again, kind of just empty headed as I start this. I was actually pretty excited for this episode, just because it's the first time we see Jericho undeniably as the villain, as well as his scion's first canon lines technically.

But I dunno, feedback lately is kind of killing my enthusiasm. I know the majority of readers are still enjoying the comic, but it's exhausting to see the negative comments increase, ranging from people just being disappointingly moronic about there being LGBT themes in the story, to people telling me the story is going down hill. To which... I'm sorry! But! How?! Like I'm trying to wrap my brain around it. I'm not immune to criticism, there are plenty of points in the story that I agree were not the best writing, but this is not one of them. I've seen comments ranging from "not enough is happening" to "things are only happening for the sake of conflict" and both of those points baffle me. How is everything that's transpired in the past 10 episodes alone nothing? Sorry, do I have to kill off ALL of the cast for it to be "something"? And as for conflict only happening for the sake of conflict???? I literally don't know how to respond to that. Conflict is how a story progresses. Should Rex and Jericho just have...hugged it out?? Should Jericho just have been like "Actually, you know what Claude, I think I do just need therapy. This world domination thing was a bad idea." Should Rex have, back when everyone was betraying him and joined the bad guys, been like "Actually, the systemic treatment of me is fair. I guess I'm just gonna go to jail now instead of going into hiding with these guys. See ya!"

I dunno. I've been SO sad and down the past two weeks, but typing this out I've progressed to angry haha. Mad at homophobes and media illiteracy taking away the pleasure I get from sharing this comic. In a venty way, to be clear. I definitely don't think I'll post this one anywhere else because I can see people saying I don't take criticism or something, but man. No. I can and I have. But the points made this week would make for a flat out bad and BORING story. And I'm so mad people just want my story to be so BORING because they just don't like facing negative emotions in a story. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel of this story eventually, but we're just in the tunnel currently. I'm not gonna hurry up the tour for everyone else just because you're afraid of the dark.

Raugh ok, I guess this wasn't actually much about the actual episode, was it? Ironic that the big villain monologue episode is where I finally kind of lose it and monologue myself. I guess for the sake of actually commenting on the ep...

Yes, I had lots of fun drawing this ep. I've been waiting a long time to have Jericho's scion finally "speak." There's also a lot of cracks showing in Claude that I'm glad people are taking note of. I've said it before, but Claude's development has been some of my favorite to write in the entire story, and we're still in his arc. Excited for things coming up for him.

#city of blank #weekly thoughts

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farfromstrange · 1 year

Text

Lizzi's Kinktober 2023

Day 3: Cockwarming

October 18th, 2023

Main Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader (use of "good girl")

Summary: Matt is always working, but you need him. So, he gives you what you want. Sort of. But not really.

Warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (18+ MINORS DNI), cockwarming, praise, use of "good girl", teasing, slight Dom!Matt, not proofread (I sense a theme here)

Word Count: ~970

A/n: This is a drabble again, and I am so sorry for not posting it yesterday. I finished it and then I fell asleep. Oops. I caught a cold and I am so tired, so I hope this can live up to expectations once again.

Matt’s working.

He’s always working. Either on a case or out on the streets as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. The protector. There are only a handful of moments when you have him all to yourself, and sometimes you have to beg for it and hope he caves.

Just like tonight.

He’s been working again. He’s been working ever since he came home. He told you he would have to go out at some point that night, possibly after you’ve gone to bed. Maybe he’ll cuddle you, but that is never certain. You can hope, you can pray, but you can never be a hundred percent certain that he will be there.

But you love him.

You don’t care that he is gone a lot because when he isn’t, he makes up for the time he missed. He treats you like you are an angel on earth. That’s what he calls you often enough.

Angel. Sweetheart. Divine. Heavenly. He loves you more than you’ve ever been loved. He would go to the ends of the earth with you. But you can’t make him stop something that sustains him. You understand. You really do.

He’s doing something to help people, and if you have to spend a night or two alone, so be it. Not everyone could do what he does, and that’s as much a blessing as it is a curse. He has to do it or he will lose himself. Maybe it’s an addiction, maybe it’s unhealthy, but you love him and your love has survived much worse than that.

Still, there are times where your needs become a little too hard to ignore, and most of the time, they take over.

Sometimes, the little voice in your head gets stronger than your common sense, and you become needy. You become so needy, Matt can’t tell you no because deep down, he loves it when you get needy.

It’s the easiest way to distract him, being needy. It’s the easiest way to get him to pay attention to you, yet at the same time, it makes him just want to take care of you in ways he too often neglects.

Matt has been sitting at the dining table, typing away on his laptop as he listens to witness testimonies on his latest case for what feels like an eternity.

As the time dragged on, you eventually started shifting on the couch, watching him, trying to get his attention. When that didn’t work, you started sighing. It took about thirty minutes until his low voice rang out, “Come here.”

And that is how you ended up here. Part of you regrets it now that you have been teasing him so relentlessly, but you couldn’t stop. You had to do it. This is your compulsion.

His hard cock is nestled deep within your slick folds as he’s got you seated on his lap, chest to chest. He’s so deep inside of you, you can feel him in your very soul.

Your walls are so tight around his girth, you can feel his veins pulsating every time you try to shift your position. You’re clinging onto him for dear life, your head on his shoulder, and he just types. He types away on his laptop as if he isn’t buried completely inside of your wet cunt. The clicking sound is slowly starting to drive you crazy. It’s his moans you want, the sound of skin slapping against skin, not whatever this is.

It’s torture, to say the least.

“If you’re so needy, you can keep me company while I finish this report,” he said to you after he called you over to him.

You thought nothing of it until he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer.

“You can keep my cock nice and warm for me until I’m done, and then I’ll fuck you, baby. I promise. I just have to do a little more work.”

You shouldn’t have pushed him, but God, you love what he feels like inside of you.

You shift again. His left hand flies to your hip, stopping you. “Don’t move,” he says. “I’m not done yet.”

Your moan is muffled through his dress shirt. “Please, Matthew,” you whine.

“No.”

Oh, he’s cruel. He’s so, so cruel.

He knows exactly what he’s doing, too. His rough hands alternating between gently resting on your thighs, stroking up and down, and his nose burying in your hair to breathe in your scent—and every time your clit bumps against his pelvis, you can’t help but moan and seek more friction. But when you do, when you move to seek friction, he stops you time and time again because, “I’m not done yet.”

When will he be done?

Every time he breathes, every time he talks, his cock moves just a little deeper. He presses against that sweet spot inside of you entirely unintentional, but he knows instantly what effect it has on you.

At this point, you’re sure he’s teasing you. He’s doing this on purpose. Is he even working? You’re sure he can’t be.

“So beautiful,” he whispers into your hair. “And so good for me. I’m almost done.”

“You’ve said that before,” your voice is hoarse, breathless, on the edge of breaking.

Matt only chuckles, tilting your head back to give you the softest of kisses. Suddenly, you’re not so mad anymore. The pleasure that simple kiss sends straight to your already dripping cunt, coating his cock in even more wetness and allowing him more leeway as he shifts in his seat now, forcing you closer together—it is inhuman. You moan into his mouth, and the kiss turns heated.

You are so needy. Maybe he is getting desperate too. He’s kissing you back a bit more forcefully, and you’re sure he’s about to lose it. But then he stops, pulls back, and focuses back on the Braille on his keyboard.

“Be good,” he tells you.

You try. You really are trying, but it seems nearly impossible. You still bury your face back in the crook of his neck, and you try to breathe.

The rubberband in the pit of your stomach tightens with every passing second, threatening to snap. Your nerves are on fire. Your muscles are sore. You can feel yourself tensing up, trying not to move, trying not to make a sound…The relief is too far away, still.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

You’re done for. Your teeth sink into his shoulder, and the lewdest moan escapes your lips.

“You like that?” Matt asks. “Being called a good girl? My good girl? Is that it?”

He shifts again. It’s better than nothing. It soothes the ache in your core, but as soon as he stops, it multiplies.

“Yes,” you breathe.

“Then be good just a little longer for me, sweetheart, and I’ll give you exactly what you need.”

You’re going to hold him to that.

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