#i guess when i get tired of it; ill go fight this woman

[samarecharm]

Cant believe they wont let me farm that fucking teddy bear

[tiredfox64]

Part three of Go for the Kill? But its based ok the ending where reason is with all three of the brothers? She soon gets knocked up and the threee fight over whose it is? >:3

The Soil was Tilled Enough

Prior notes: I knew somebody would ask for this. Had a That’s so Raven moment when I was writing that last part.

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: You’re gonna have a stroke with my reasoning.

You are faced with a light pink stick in your hands. You were growing tired and sick just days before which worried the brothers a lot. The last thing they want is for their vicious woman to grow horribly ill. Oh but this is no illness. This is the miracle of life.

Yeah this is a strange situation. Truly a spectacle that has some people, or more like someone, disappointed. Liu Kang ain’t too happy that his paid assassin would be out of commission for at least a year. What he also doesn’t like is hearing that the brothers are fighting over who is the father. The yelling is really getting annoying.

“It can’t possibly be your child! I slept with her first!” Bi-Han yelled directly in Tomas’ face.

“We all slept with her first! You are just jealous that the baby is possibly mine!” Tomas yelled right back.

The only one staying calm was Kuai Liang. He stayed right next to you, rubbing your belly as you contemplated the same thing. Who is the father?

Alright, so you put too much faith into Plan B. Guess it wasn’t made to handle loads upon loads of baby-making liquid from men who probably never allowed themselves to feel relief in quite a while. Plus the fact that they love you a lot made the chances of you getting pregnant much higher. I think they were aiming for that goal but I’m not a mind reader.

“What are we gonna do? Are we ready enough to handle having a baby and raising it?” You questioned, concerned about way too many things.

“Of course can handle it. The baby will be in safe hands. Even if the baby is not mine I promise to take care of them as if they were my own.” Kuai Liang made that promise to you.

Kuai Liang really loves you and just wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to worry too much especially now that’s you are pregnant. His commitment to you made you feel a little better, knowing he won’t be mad about whose baby it is. The other two…yeah that’s gonna take some time.

At this point Bi-Han had Tomas in a headlock which made Tomas start punching Bi-Han’s arms in defense. Kuai Liang ran in to split the two apart.

“Enough of this! This fighting won’t solve anything.” He yelled at them both.

“I do not understand why you are not threatened by the fact that Tomas might have impregnated her. What good will that baby do coming from a man like him?” Bi-Han was being harsh again which made Tomas punch him.

“It does not matter. She is pregnant and she wants to keep it. We must support her no matter what.”

Kuai Liang was right and all the brothers had to agree with his statement. Though Bi-Han was still being as stubborn as ever. If he just keeps the mindset that it’s his baby in there he will be fine.

“Well, do you know how far along you are?” Tomas asked.

“Considering the last time we did it was a couple of weeks ago and I’m getting sick, it might be four to six weeks.”

Oof, if it’s six it can only get worse when it comes to the symptoms. Get ready to start taking bathroom breaks and getting sick from smells.

“It will still be a few weeks before we can get a paternity test done.” You added on.

“We should do that. Settle this debate early on whose child this is.” Bi-Han was on board with doing a paternity test even though he didn’t know you can test that while still pregnant. It’s that old mindset don’t worry.

“I want to the know the gender first. I wanna see if we are having a baby boy or a baby girl.” Tomas gushed at the idea.

“No you don’t, Tomas! We will not wait to find out the gender first.”

“Yes we will, brother. It will teach you to have some patience. It will also test if you still love her enough to take care of her while she is going through this.”

Kuai Liang was shutting Bi-Han down at every opportunity. How dare his little brother accuse him of not loving you. Fine, he’ll wait. They’ll all wait. And as that goes on they will start preparing things for you like a nursery. They gonna spoil the hell out of you.

A woman who is pregnant is a strong woman indeed. They will make sure to take good care of you. They will do their parts as the possible fathers.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Finally! Week thirteen! You can expect your results to be one hundred percent accurate when it comes to the gender. Now here’s the interesting part—

“WHAT!” You, Tomas, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang all yelled at the doctor in shock.

…I didn’t get to finish. Let me speak up. Damn…

As I was saying the interesting part was that as time went on you noticed your belly was getting quite big. It was a little too early but you didn’t think it was anything much. This was your first time being pregnant so you thought it was normal.

Not necessarily.

“T-twins? We are having twins? And they are all ours?” Tomas was questioning the doctor on how accurate it was.

The ultrasounds did show two little babies. Two little nuggets growing inside you. And they are both boys, congratudolences!

“It’s called Heteropaternal superfecundation. It’s incredibly rare but it can happen. Especially to someone with three partners.” That doctor was throwing shade at you. She was just jealous.

“So one of those boys is definitely mine,” Tomas was all smiles, “But what about the other one?”

Yeah, what about the other one? Still got the other two. They are blood related so this might be harder.

If it’s Kuai Liang’s this might not end well for him since Bi-Han was staring him down with a death glare. Luckily the doctor had something to say about that.

“That’s the thing, we can’t tell. Because they are related there is some difficulties. So as far as any of you know, they are both the father of that other little boy.”

Kuai Liang is content with that. He is just happy to start a family and have a child with you. Bi-Han…ah he gives up. There is no point in being upset about this. There is nothing anyone can do. He’ll be happy to have a son of his own that he can train and possibly be the next grandmaster to the Lin Kuei.

All the brothers are happy to be fathers to a wonderful set of twins, dizygotic twins to be exact. Tomas is already imagining having the twins play together and teaching them to take care of one another. Kuai Liang is imagining caring for them both and teaching them to be good brother. Bi-Han already preparing in his mind a plan to train his son. That’s his responsibility.

The tension between the brothers dissipated. There was no reason to fight and stress you out even more. Looks like they better get more things ready for the babies. The nursery has to be big enough to accommodate two of them.

You have a good support system going on here. I hope you are happy with your multiple lovers and your set of twins.

…

Oh don’t tell me, you want to know who the father actually is. Alright so the clinic didn’t actually have the advanced technology to figure out who the father was when it came to Kuai Liang and Bi-Han. They were only certain on Tomas.

The true father is…I don’t know. What? Did you think I knew all? No! Even I don’t know. And do you even wanna know? Just let be happy that they are happy. Now get some rest, mama. You have a long journey ahead of you and it’s called motherhood.

After notes: Why do I keep doing twins? I’m scaring myself. Here’s a fact about me I have a high chance of having twins if I were to get pregnant. Yeah, I know, crazy. Please tell me I haven’t manifested this for myself my period still hasn’t come oh gosh 😭. I would have done triplets for this fic but nature doesn’t work like that. Well since I’m done I get to eat. Adiós! (Pls make my period show up y’all)

[vikingsarememes]

Of Broken Rabbits - Part 2

Previous part

Characters: Ivar “the Boneless” Ragnarsson x Reader, Ubbe Ragnarson

Summary: You are still locked in your chamber, Ubbe visits you to convince you to survive, and eventually you were convinced, and Ivar, well, he is trying to be kinder

Word count: 1251

Warnings: mention of abuse and bickering

A/N: none

Credits: photos from Pinterest, editing app is picsart

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The day had passed, all of the maidens’ attempts to convince you to accept Ivar’s offer failed, you felt yourself grow weaker within the hour, too tired to lift a limp, the day became two and two became three, that’s when you had an unfamiliar visitor, Ubbe, you recognized him from the doomed wedding “Y/N, you look awful” he had told you, you glared at him weakly “what are you doing to yourself? Is this really how you wish to pass?” you nodded “Freyja will have mercy on me” you replied, he laughed “Freyja couldn’t care less about her subjects, otherwise, Ivar would’ve been different” 

You looked at him with teary eyes, you were about to cry if you weren’t too dehydrated and tired “look, Ivar… he has a unique way of showing his feelings, one minute he is the sweetest, the second he wants to burn everyone alive, don’t allow yourself to die a meaningless death because of his tantrum” you didn’t say a word “what is it that he wanted anyways? For you to look nice and eat with him? You can do it, live another day to fight another fight”

His words  made sense, the closer death is, the more you realized, if you die, then it is another girl who will fall a victim of his “bring her mead” he requested from the maidens who obeyed immediately, he took the jar and placed it near your mouth “drink, believe me, this act of bravery is not worth it” 

Spiteful, you drank the mead, emptied the jar, Ubbe smiled at you, he got up and looked at the maidens “help the queen into a gown, she will be dining with us tonight” they obeyed, and you allowed them to dress you and fix your looks, the problem was not you, your death would’ve been meaningless, the problem was your husband, his death would mean something, a better life for the people of Kattegat and ensuring that no woman or maiden will go through his cruelty again.

When you entered the great hall with Ubbe by your arm, guiding you to your rightful seat, all eyes were focused on you, especially Ivar’s, his feelings were mixed between relief and anger “look, my beautiful bride is feeling better” he exclaimed, people cheered, once you were seated, the food rushed to you, of all kinds, drinks as well, Ivar remained quiet.

The night went smoothly, few cheered for you getting better, you guessed Ragnarsons told them that you fell ill, Ivar tried to keep his distance as much as possible besides a few stairs, mainly to make sure that you are still alive, you remained quiet aside from sharing pleasantries with the people of Kattegat.

Returning to your room, you felt your heart clenching, unsure of his reaction, he limped to the bed and took off his braces, and rested his feet on the mattress, you saw the pained expressions on his face, you undressed yourself and re-changed to your nightgown then laid on your side of the bed, ignoring his existence, however, gods had different plans.

“I’m glad you didn’t die out of stupidity” he mumbled, his eyes forward, looking at the fire “you are so stubborn, it is tiring! Why can’t you just accept our lives the way it is?” you scoffed and turned to face him “life? What life? You don’t talk to me, you hit me and we are not even wedded for a month, you stole me from me from my village and you starved me to death!” 

The king rolled his eyes “in my defense, you starved yourself and disobeyed me” you looked at him angrily “I’m supposed to be your wife, not your subject! You supposed to respect me, care about my wellbeing, I’m supposed to be your wife” he furrowed his eyebrows “I respect you, I never humiliated you in front of anyone, I always praise you in your presence, and it’s not like you respect or care about me!” 

The man was getting on every nerve you have, you couldn’t hold back your tongue “are you fucking kidding me? I literally tried to be kind to you and I was met with a don’t tell anyone what happens in the  bedroom, I tried to care for your wellbeing and you hit me! Tell me, what respect can remain with actions like this?” you snapped “I apologized!” he snapped back “saying you are sorry is one thing and meaning it is another!” you attacked back “gods I wish I never met you!” he groaned, shifting to his side of the bed, giving you his back “oh believe me it’s the most mutual feeling we have” you did the same.

You tried to sleep that night but you couldn’t, you kept shifting on the bed, uneven from the days you laid still and waited for your death, Ivar was sensing every movement, it was no surprise when he groaned and sat, glaring at you “woman enough!” he demanded, you rolled your eyes “i’m trying to sleep, not my fault” he rolled his eyes “of course, nothing is ever your fault” he said sarcastically, you wished you had a dagger next to you to stab him right there.

You didn’t reply, he took a deep breath, calmed himself down, and laid down, his attention focused on the ceiling, quiet, for a minute or so “I’m sorry, I’ve been treating you roughly, when I’m mad I don’t see what’s in front of me” he mumbled, you shifted and looked at him “almost sincere” he frowned “it is sincere!” it was, you could feel it, you simply didn’t want to let it go that easily.

He shifted to look at you instead of the ceiling “let’s start over, pretend the last month never happened” you hesitated “I will be kinder to you, I will be a better husband” your hesitation grew, but those piercing blue eyes were making it difficult for you to remain mad at him, you still wanted him dead, but you wanted to believe that he had more to him aside from being a complete psychopathic king.

You sighed and nodded, he offered a gentle smile “thank you Y/N” you didn’t reply “let us spend some time tomorrow, just the two of us, we can do whatever you wish” you wanted to list things you wanted to do, like walking in the fields, swimming in the rivers, playing with the children, but you knew none of these activities was an option anymore, not with your so called husband at least, you thought for a moment “we can go to that farm I saw across from here, with the small abandoned house, we can spend the day there together” he nodded “I will send the servants to prepare it for us at once” you shook your head “let us not, you are the one who said we should do as I wish, and I wish for us to be alone and uninterrupted”

He raised an eyebrow at you “you are a queen, you shouldn’t do mundane chorus like cooking and cleaning” you shrugged “for tomorrow, I’m not a queen and you are not a king, we are a man and a woman” it took him a minute but eventually he was convinced, you grinned, perhaps, away from the flashiness of a ruler’s life, a different side of your husband will appear, a side that made Freyja certain of the wellness of this match.

[somber-sapphic]

How About, No

Alex dragges Lena to Urgent Care, which goes as well as expected.

Word Count: 1435

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A half hour of intense negotiation later and Lena was too tired to continue to fight. She was tired, and felt gross. All she really wanted was Kara. She wanted her stupid girlfriend to come and stupid hug her. She was at the point of her illness that she was ready to give up on pretending to be okay and just curl herself up in Alex’s arms. She was nearly 97% sure that the other woman would hold her.

“Okay. The drive to Urgent Care is only five minutes, are you going to be okay in a car for that long, kiddo?” Lena shrugged, not really wanting to answer that question. She was in no way “okay”. There was nothing okay about how she felt. Her brain was melting, her throat hurt, and she wanted a hug. She really, really wanted a hug.

“Hey, Leenaaa, can you hear me?” Alex asked, earning a nod from the young witch. She knelt beside her, and placed a hand on her burning cheek. The poor thing felt like an oven.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well sweetheart. I know you don’t want to go, but the doctor is going to give us some antibiotics and you’ll feel better soon. Once we get home, I’ll make some tea and we can watch Titanic. Does that sound okay?”

A single tear traced its way down Lena’s jaw line, dripping harmlessly onto her shirt. She didn’t respond, which only made Alex more nervous. Her basically little sister always had an opinion, and was never one to keep quiet about it.

“Oh, love,” Alex leaned forward a bit, and wrapped the sick girl in her arms. Lena resisted the touch for only a second, before melting into Alex’s comforting embrace. She finally got her hug.

A small sob escaped Lena’s lips and she tried to curl up further against Alex. She couldn’t do it anymore. The fever felt like it was boiling her brain, which was oozing her stupid emotions all over the place.

“Oh, love.” She said again, smoothing back sweaty hair and rocking the brunette the way she would if Esme started to cry. After Kara came to live with her family, Alex had figured out that rocking generally calmed everybody down. For some reason, it just worked. Lena was no exception to Alex’s golden rule.

“I-I’m s’ry,” She sobbed, still holding on to the former agent for dear life. Alex rubbed her back and pressed her lips against Lena’s scalding temple.

“Shh, it's okay. We’re gonna stay here until you’re ready, okay? We’re not going to leave until you’re ready, and I swear, I am not going anywhere.” She promised, resting her chin on Lena’s head. The pair sat this way for nearly fifteen minutes, before Lena’s breathing had evened out, and she was ready to re-enter the normal, much less comfortable, world.

“Ready to do this?” Alex asked, pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. Her shirt was wet with Lena’s tears, but she really didn’t care. All that mattered to her was that her charge was okay.

“I guess…” She mumbled, her voice wavering slightly with her anxiety. Maybe her fear was stupid. Maybe she shouldn’t be terrified of the doctors in white coats and the terrible antiseptic smell. Maybe the pristine cleanliness that disguised death and disease shouldn’t frighten her. But it did. It probably always would. Phobias were like that, especially when linked to the inevitable PTSD that came with being a Luthor.

– The waiting room was the worst part. There were people vomiting into bags, sneezing into the open air and coughing loudly enough to make Lena jump. It wasn’t well known, but Lena was a germaphobe. She hated sick people, but generally put up with them. Whenever she had to have a meeting with someone who had even the smallest case of the sniffles, she would drown herself in hand sanitizer after the person left. Despite her deep seeded terror, she was mostly able to hide the phobia. She could usually control it, but her head was spinning, her fever was increasing her nerves, and she really didn’t want to be at the doctors.

“Deep breath kid.” Alex said, pulling the ill woman out of her thoughts. She did as instructed and pulled a big breath of air into her lungs. Her lungs did not like that. A wet, painful cough racked her body, bringing up a small glob of phlegm which was quickly spit into a hastily grabbed tissue. It was gross.

“I don't want to be here.” She grumbled, unable to take her eyes off a man who was coughing blood into a cloth. He should probably be in a more hospital-ish place, rather than Urgent Care. It was useful when you had some sort of small problem, but blood coming out of your lungs seemed pretty bad.

“I know. We should be up next. Stop staring at him. Focus on me instead. You know, Kara said she might get you a kitten for your birthday.” She said, earning a little smile from the brunette. Lena loved cats, but she knew that her girlfriend was more of a dog person. Kara, of course, loved all animals, but it wasn’t quite the same for her affection towards dogs.

“She wants a dog.”

“Yes, but you want a cat. She loves you more than anything you know. She’d do anything for you.” Lena smiled again, and leaned over to rest her head on Alex’s shoulder. She was too tired to hold her head up on her own. The older woman made a small sad sound, and wrapped her arm around Lena’s shoulders, rubbing her upper arm gently.

Lena must have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes again an unfamiliar man with a clipboard was standing over her. She jumped a little, startled by the stranger, but Alex’s reassuring hand on hers was quick to calm her down again.

“C’mon honey.” She called, helping the brunette stand. She helped the ill woman into the small exam room, where the man -who turned out to be a nurse- took her weight, height, and general vitals. He promised that a doctor would be in with them soon, and left after having barely spoken to them. Lena was happy that she didn’t actually have to have very much human interaction. On the other hand, she was also frustrated that the nurse hadn’t told her what he was doing before he started touching her. She nearly punched him when he grabbed her arm to put the blood-pressure cuff on.

“Almost done sweetheart.” Alex pressed a kiss against her temple, trying not to wince at the heat that radiated off of Lena’s skin. The poor girl was shivering aggressively, and trying to curl up in on herself to get a little warmer. Clearly, the tactic was not working. It was, however, slightly adorable. As much as Lena was clearly suffering, she was cute when she was sick. Something about the innocence brought on by her brain melting fever. Her walls had come crumbling down, and she was forced to accept help.

“I want to leave.” She practically growled, trying to sound more in control than she really was. Alex just pulled her close and rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her.

“The doctor will be here soon, love. Just try to relax. When we get home, we can try to call Kara, okay?” She murmured, pressing a small kiss against the woman’s sweaty forehead. Lena just sniffled in response, and laid her head on Alex’s forehead. If she were strong enough, she would have left long ago. Of course, if she were strong enough she wouldn’t need to be there.

About fifteen agonizing minutes later a small woman with short red hair walked in holding a chart. She smiled gently at the women sitting on the bed and started asking questions that Lena had already answered. The brunette was getting too tired to talk, so Alex translated the mumbled responses, often before Lena had said anything.

After the brief conversation, another exam that involved the doctor -who's name turned out to be Maria- having to poke Lena's lymph nodes (which hurt) shoving a swab into the back of her burning throat (which also hurt) and having to get a blood draw (which almost didn’t work because of how much the woman was squirming) they were sent on their way with a diagnosis of strep mixed with a nasty case of the flu, and a prescription for penicillin. This week just kept getting longer.

[scentedluminarysoul]

So I just had a fight with my father and his partner. A real fucking fight. Here's what happened:

For context, they're both straight elderly folk. All things considered not exactly super queerphobic, but very stubborn and ill-informed

Dad, randomly: So now (sister who just started a relationship with a woman) is the man in the relationship

Me, trying to be lighthearted: No, pretty sure she's still a woman

Partner (I'm paraphrasing multiple rounds of me saying to please stop): But that's how it always is, one takes on the male role and one the female role, one is always the dominant

Me: That's not necessarily true, and most queer people hate being assigned these roles

Partner: But it's just what I see, it's true! Just like in a normal couple of man and woman

Dad: And how would you even know?

Me (never having talked about it with them for reasons): Because I'm queer myself. You're projecting your own view on them and most queer people hate it when you do that.

Partner: It's just my opinion!

Me: Sure, and this is mine.

Dad: Oh and why would your opinion be so much better? Do you know so many queer people?

Me: Yes, actually, almost all my friends are queer and I talk to them on a daily basis.

(One point of note: I could barely finish a sentence already without being interrupted by one going "but that's just how it is!" I could not make an argument for why stereotypes like these are bad)

And that's when the shouting began. Dad got angry and told me to drop it.

Every single time I opened my mouth, I'd be cut off by both of them, dad getting louder and louder.

"It's my opinion! Drop it! You're so unwilling to drop it!" without ever listening to what I had to say.

Me: Can I finish a single sentence?

Them: No!

And that's when I left.

It's not even the awful heteronormativity or being essentially called not normal

It's not being allowed to even say anything that goes against their viewpoint

I know old people have these really internalized, simplistic views, that's not really the issue

It's about being cut off every single time, and shouted at, and being treated like a fucking child who doesn't know how the world works

I'm fucking 36 years old! We were actually meeting up to celebrate my birthday. And now we're not anymore. Because they can't accept difference in opinion

But it's also very much about being an affected party, being told by outsiders how my life and relationships work. Being affected by stereotypes that are harmful, being squeezed into some box because it's convenient. And then being told to shut up when I even slightly push back, being told I don't know anything when it's literally my life. Fuck everything.

Of note is also that in an earlier conversation we also had a difference in opinion (about my nephew*), but that was okay. Because my dad had the same opinion as me, I guess. But the queer issue I'm personally affected by? Not acceptable.

I'm just really sad and tired.

(*Context here: nephew wants to live with ex husband and partner doesn't like it, thinks "something should be done". Nephew is 14 and can choose himself, but she doesn't agree. She thinks he should be forced to live with his mother even if he doesn't want to. I told her I've seen what can happen, a former friend's nephew ran away to his father all the time.)

[blackjackkent]

We didn't actually get to fight Ethel here; she knocked down a stone wall and made an escape out the back way while we had to fight a couple redcaps. Not ideal, especially since she hid Mayrina magically so she's still unaccounted for, and she's the main point of this whole mess.

There's a book in a cabinet which explains what Ethel is (I think):

Of course, we are about to do the exact opposite of what the book advises, bc Hector is not going to let this go at this point.

There are quite a number of healing potions and some food to steal in Ethel's house, but no sign of Mayrina and nothing else much of interest. So I guess we'll head down the way the hag escaped.

The hole behind the fireplace leads to a path down into unsettling darkness. This leads to a new area called "Overgrown Tunnel" which seems...unpleasant.

Ethel is waiting for us in a cavern up ahead.

"You are as thick as they come, sweetness. This is my personal playhouse, and you don't have an invite. Get. Out."

Hector is tired, pissed off, full of righteous protection, and feeling super ill from the well-water he ill-advisedly drank outside, and he is not backing down.

"Tell me where Mayrina is."

Ethel giggles maniacally. "Has that wriggler eaten your brain already? leave. Or you'll end up in tonight's stew. You'll go nicely with Mayrina. She's already marinating. HAH!"

She disappears again, leaving Hector feeling more ill than before.

Looking around the area, we find people in various states of torment. A guy whose spirit is trapped in a mirror "to preserve his beauty forever" while his own skull stares at him eternally. A (presumably dead) woman standing carrying her own head. An elf who's been blinded because she "never wished to lay eyes on her family again." A dwarf turned to stone to fulfill his request to halt a disease that ravaged him.

There's also this fellow, who has been screaming in agony in the corner since we came in:

He's being tormented by illusions that purport to be visions of the future. Unsettlingly - when he looks at Hector he sees...

"Monster. Monster! Mindripping, fleshpeeling. MIND FLAYER."

Not a very heartening experience for anyone involved; Hector tried to comfort him and break the illusion but he wasn't having it.

We need to deal with this hag immediately. (Also definitely a good thing Hector didn't try to get help from her for the tadpole.)

Perhaps the creepiest thing of all, however, is a door that Karlach triggered accidentally by walking near it.

Based on the visions she got from it, this door was once a dude who tried to steal from Ethel; he got dismembered and then transformed into this thing forever. Karlach managed to convince it to let us through by telling it they're going to kill the hag and free it, but yeesh. This woman is FUCKED UP.

[splend-42]

The Famous Proust Questionnaire

Tagged by @ilovepostitnotes

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Curled up somewhere comfy, reading a book/watching something, with people I love and peace & quiet.

What is your most marked characteristic? Probably my goofy humour.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Survival. I'm still here despite constant self-sabotage and various hardships.

What is your greatest fear? Spiders. Drowning. Rejection. Being unloved. Take your pick.

What historical figure do you most identify with? I can't think of any, tbf.

Which living person do you most admire? I guess Jacinda Arden, PM of New Zealand. She appears to be an incredibly rare type of person: a high-level politician with a soul and a conscience.

Who are your heroes in real life? I try not to have heroes, they can so easily disappoint you by being, you know, actual people with flaws and stuff.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My mental illness. It's exhausting having to fight your own psyche every day just to get things done, and to fight for every scrap of dopamine and self-worth.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Selfishness. Nastiness. Bigotry.

What is your favorite journey? I really enjoyed a trip to Bruges I took once.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Chastity. Safe, sane and consensual: knock yourselves out.

Which word or phrases do you most overuse? “I'm tired.” When I'm tired, you'll hear about it.

What is your greatest regret? Oh god this is tough, I regret a lot of things. I'm going to go with regretting that I didn't commit to writing sooner, especially scripts. Of course, there was undiagnosed ADHD & the rest of it to contend with...

What is your current state of mind? Better than I have been in the last couple of months, but still not great.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? Ooft. Another complicated one. Too complicated, in fact. I'll settle for the easiest bit: I would have my Mum back and cured of the COPD that took her.

What is your most treasured possession? Maybe my Castle Greyskull. Spousal unit and metamour bought it for me (and Snake Mountain!) when I was having a bad time, because I'd had to sell mine off with all the rest of my toys as a kid.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Crying myself to sleep, wishing I had the courage to kill myself but knowing I could never and that, to my broken brain, it meant the suffering would never end. Whee.

Where would you like to live? Somewhere on the Mediterranian coast. All the Med countries have the best food, and also siestas. Maybe, er, maybe not Israel though.

What is your favorite occupation? If I can actually consistently get paid for it, then the one I have: being a writer. Getting paid is proving to be tricky, though.

What is the quality you most like in a man? Compassion.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Compassion.

What are your favorite names? I've always been fond of Yasmine.

What is your motto? My gaming motto is "you got there once, you can get there again" for when I beat a tricky bit and then die shortly afterwards. I guess it applies in life too - when failure or a setback follows a success, it doesn't erase the success, and you can do it again.

I tag @silversunsky @endreal @grimsauce @suppuration @fullcuntact @zombiearmadillo @zombearzilla @sisterquill @thusthusthus and anyone else who'd like to share, but no pressure as always <3

[wutheringheightsfilm]

right back atcha wei wuxian!!!! and hm! jiang yanli!!

YAYYY

wei wuxian

My first impression:

he's everything to me

My impression now:

HE'S STILL EVERYTHING TO ME!! protagonist of all time

Favorite thing about that character:

i love his confidence, his righteousness, his intelligence!!! he literally is so fucking smart and i just really love how he saw the way cultivation society functioned, how it was designed to uplift him only when he served them, and decided to say fuck all that i'm going to do the right thing and did it. ugh

Least favorite thing:

nothing but my least favorite thing about how a lot of fans write him is that they will write him as being overly insecure when in canon he honestly isn't. is he repressing his emotions? sure. does he have a bit of a self sacrificing complex? yes. but is he insecure about himself to the point of thinking he never deserves any love ever? no. like i don't mind this per se it just gets very tiring when fic after fic stylizes wei wuxian this way AND it's usually coupled with making him extremely immature. it just gets so tired

Favorite line/scene:

IT HAS TO BE THE SIEGE.... HOW CHEAP YOUR ADMIRATION WAS!!!

Favorite interaction that character has with another:

of course the "who do you take me for?" "i once thought of you as my zhiji" "i still am" is the most iconic scene of anything forever. but i also really love the one scene where wei wuxian is sitting on the steps and wen qing sits next to him... it's so good

A character that I wish that character would interact with more:

MIANMIAN... i really do think they would be bestie boos if mxtx didn't hate women

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character:

in my mind i have a very specific web weaving post that i have yet to actually make online that web weaves heathcliff from wuthering heights and wei wuxian together. don't worry it all makes sense TO ME

A headcanon about that character:

even outside of cql and the fact xiao zhan is a singer, i think wei wuxian sings to himself like, all the time. i think he's always making noise. he's either singing or talking to himself like, all the time. it helps him think

A song that reminds of that character:

so so many but i'll narrow it down to just one. mercury by sleeping at last

An unpopular opinion about that character:

this wouldve gotten me guillotined back in the day before cql aired but i am team wei wuxian and lan wangji are the same height forever and ever. i also think they're both vers and now THAT'S unpopular

Favorite picture:

i currently have this as a widget on my phone...

OKAYYY jiang yanli time!!!

My first impression:

omg she's so sweet i love her

My impression now:

omg she's just like me fr

Favorite thing about that character:

HER PATIENCE. if i was her i would've blown up lotus pier by age 18 to be quite honest

Least favorite thing:

the fact that mxtx fridged her so hard it's insane. i guess it's thematically relevant to the story that she dies but i refuse to accept that tbh. also when fans in the fandom insist that jiang yanli can't be sect leader because that's "girlbossifying her" wait til they find out she doesn't have to 1) fight violently to be a sect leader and it doesn't mean she has to change her entire personality to do it and 2) chronically ill characters can still hold leadership positions isn't that crazy.

Favorite line/scene:

oh definitely her confronting jin zixun at the golden banquet like she was legenderic for that

Favorite interaction that character has with another:

any time her and wei wuxian interact with each other is the best thing on planet earth idgaf. also that one singular conversation she had with lan wangji... in my mind i've spun it into jyl and lwj being best friends and i hate to see that isn't canon

A character that I wish that character would interact with more:

literally any other woman. also in my fic i have her, nmj, and lxc being friends and i wish that was canon too

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character:

hmm this is hard...she sort of reminds me of fuuka yamagishi from persona 3 !

A headcanon about that character:

my most famous headcanon that spurred me to write a fic about it is that she only became so good at cooking in order to avoid arguments with her parents

A song that reminds of that character:

everything's alright from jesus christ superstar but specifically the sara bareilles version

An unpopular opinion about that character:

i feel like very few people in the fandom actually understand her. like yes she's chronically ill and sensitive and quiet but that doesn't mean she can't do things like hold leadership positions or stand up for herself. everyone seems to think that just because mxtx wrote her with the women belong in the kitchen vibe that means everyone needs to take that word as law and never have her be an active participant in her own life. it's very tiring and very fucking annoying.

Favorite picture:

i love her in this scene so so so much!

THANK U FOR ASKING MY BELOVED LIEUTENANT!!!

[chrisbannor]

Elements of Change

Chapter Forty Four: A Friend of Fairhills

Author: Chris Bannor

The sun was setting over the hillside when Ezo realized it was time to stop. After their last fight, Kammon had stopped his ridiculous behavior and began avoiding villages and towns. As much as Ezo wanted to push ahead tonight, he knew it was too late. They were less than a day’s ride from the flooded valley of Fairhills.

“This is as far as we should go,” Ezo admitted. The trees on either side of the road opened a mile down and fed into the village of Fall Vale.

Kammon pulled the horse to a stop. “Are you sure you don’t want to push on?”

Ezo shook his head. “If we rode on, we’d arrive in the middle of the night, and I wouldn’t be able to look around. Besides, I could use a break from riding.”

It was as close to saying he was tired as he would get. Kammon understood, though, and when he dismounted, he didn’t say anything about it. He helped Ezo down and walked off to find a good spot for their camp.

As Ezo waited, he heard a horse pulling a wagon. It wasn’t far out, and Ezo stood back off the path, waiting for them to pass him by. Ember let out a sharp screech, warning Kammon about the travelers. Ezo kept his eyes down, aware that too many people saw someone on the side of the road as a danger. He noticed the two staring at him and whispering between themselves, but he didn’t look up to see their faces.

He didn’t like the attention they were paying him.

“Ezo?”

His head jerked up as a woman called his name.

“It is you!” she said as the wagon stopped. She scrambled down and hurried over to him.

She stood in front of him before he recognized her. “Hatley?”

“Why, boy, what are you doing out here?”

He laughed. “Looking for a spot to rest for the night. What are you doing here?” Her husband had died in the flooding, trying to shore up the upper banks before the mudslide had washed it all out.

“My daughters and I settled in Fall Vale. Come on, then. I won’t leave you out here. I’ve got a spare room, and you need a good bed. And a good meal, I can see.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” he said. “And I’m traveling with a friend.”

“Well, a Fairhills friend is always welcome under my roof.”

 “Ezo?”

Kammon didn’t sound worried, which meant he’d been listening long enough to hear who she was.

“Kammon, this is Hatley. She lived in Fairhills before the flood. She offered us a bed for the night.”

“Most people run when they hear my name. You must be brave to welcome the Calamity to your home.”

Ezo wanted to shut him up, but there was no way around it. Kammon liked to punish himself for his deeds and expected Hatley to make some excuse for why they couldn’t come now. Ezo smiled because Kammon didn’t know Hatley.

“The Calamity! Well, you should have some interesting stories to tell. Come get in the back, Ezo. Looks like I could knock you down with a swat of my fan,” she said as she took his arm and led him to the back of the wagon.

“They used to say awful things about Jacob too,” Hatley told him. “Tried to make us think ill of our own. I knew that boy when he was just a twig of a thing. I don’t need magic to see a liar, and I’m sure there is more to you, Calamity.”

She was back in the wagon’s seat, and Ezo recognized her oldest daughter’s husband driving it. He crawled into the wagon bed and smiled at Kammon as they started moving. Kammon walked the horse behind it, staying close to Ezo.

“How well do you know her?” he asked.

“Fairhills was small. We were all in each other’s business. Her oldest daughter married and moved to Fall Vale before the flood. I should have guessed she’d moved there with her.”

“Is it safe to stay with her for the night?”

Ezo smiled. “I think if the University showed up with a hundred elementalists, they’d be afraid of her frying pan before the fight was out.”

###

“Are you really going to Fairhills?”

Ezo was standing on the back porch of the Hatley farm, watching the stars after dinner. Hatley’s youngest daughter, Delly, walked quietly from the house to stand by him.

“I need to go home,” Ezo said. “I didn’t think I’d ever return, but some things just have to be.”

“Too many people blamed you for not being able to save the village. I’m sorry you left before they realized they were wrong.”

Ezo didn’t like to dwell on it. In fact, he did his best to avoid all thought of it. He was mostly successful, but some nights, he still heard their voices, railing at him for letting the village drown. Saying he blamed them for the deaths of his family so he destroyed it all.

“They were hurting. I understand.”

“You shouldn’t. You should be angry. I would be.”

“Anger wouldn’t do any of us any good. It was best for me to go. I needed to explore the world. I still need to. Jacob taught me to be a force of change in people’s lives. I can do that now.”

“Mom wouldn’t mind having an elementalist around if you wanted to stay,” Delly suggested.

He smiled. “I’m not ready to sit still, yet. Besides, I don’t think anyone would know what to do with Kammon farming.”

“He’s… rather …”

“Yes, he is,” Ezo said with a smile.

“You two are…”

“Yes, we are,” Kammon said from the doorway. Ezo would have smirked at him if it wouldn’t have hurt Delly’s feelings.

“I’ll go see about your bed,” she said, dashing into the house.

“You scared her,” Ezo said.

“Just making sure she didn’t get any ideas.” Kammon stood next to Ezo and looked up at the sky. “Hatley suggested we go to the village past Fairhills. She said a friend of Jacob’s came looking for you about a year ago.”

“Who?”

“Remec.”

“He’d traveled with Jacob after he came back to Fairhills to raise me. He was gone when the floods came. Jacob trusted him. It might be worth finding him after Fairhills.”

“So long as no one tells the Imperium we’re here, we should have time to head to the next village. And then figure out where we’re going from there.”

“Ezo, Mom said your room is ready.”

Delly popped back inside, and Kammon gently knocked into Ezo’s shoulder. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Ezo let Kammon herd him back to the small bedroom they were sharing for the night. Before the moon could grow more prominent in the night sky, he was asleep and fending off nightmares of chaotic escapes from rivers of mud and drowned cities.

Author's Note: I love to see the slightly possessive side of Kammon :P What do you think about this Remec? Should they try to hunt him down? Or is that just asking for more trouble?

[briamichellewrites]

33

Matt Damon was enjoying his dinner when he caught a glimpse of a beautiful woman being seated with three guys. She had long brown hair and a tall, thin body. He guessed she was in her early twenties. The guys she was with looked slightly older. Maybe they were on a double date or were just friends hanging out. He heard one of them mentioning not having been there before. She had always wanted to go, but for some reason forgot it existed.

She usually went to Nobu or the Chateau Marmont. Mike had dinner with her at Nobu. It was fifty dollars for a steak but it was the best steak he ever had! Rob jokingly asked him what the poor cow had to do to deserve to be eaten by him. They laughed. Wasn’t Phoenix there, too?

“Oh, yeah. He was”, he said.

“I’ll have to take you, him, and Jason out for dinner sometime.”

“Bria, you will never leave us hungry”, Brad joked.

“I love spoiling you guys. You guys are awesome and deserve it one hundred percent because you never ask me for anything.”

Thank you. They appreciated that. Rob jokingly asked for five million dollars. Fuck you. They laughed. No, he didn’t want that from her. He was content making his own money. What was she going to do now that she was home? She was going to research getting a horse. It was different from getting a kitten or a puppy because they had different needs. She didn’t want to do anything impulsively.

She knew they ate hay and they needed exercise. Mike agreed it was different. They were also more expensive because they were bigger animals than cats and dogs. He would help her research what she needed. She thought that would be an awesome idea. He pointed out she already had a barn with stalls. She could take care of a horse because of how well she took care of Woody, Missy, and Buddy. He just wanted her to be fully prepared. They agreed.

Since she had so much energy, she thought about using her pool. Mike would sit on the edge because he didn’t bring his swim trunks. Was she going to stay awake for another three to four days? She hoped not! They laughed. What happened? She just had too much energy? Yeah, her mind was so exhausted that it couldn’t calm itself down. It was like an overly tired toddler.

When she got up to use the bathroom, Matt finally made herself known. They all introduced themselves. Was their friend single? Yes, she was. He apologized but he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. They agreed she was gorgeous! She was more beautiful inside. He handed Brad a piece of paper and asked him to give it to her. I will do that. With that, he got up having paid his bill and leaving a tip.

Oh my god! He and Rob looked at the piece of paper. What was it? It had his name and phone number. He held it up for Mike to see. Oh my god! Bria was so beautiful, she could turn heads by walking into a room. It wasn’t just them who noticed it. But she was even more beautiful inside.

She was funny, independent, not afraid to keep them in line, and strong. But she also had a vulnerable side. Underneath her personality was a girl fighting against mental illness. Her mind played tricks on her and it wasn’t always kind. They saw what she couldn’t. When she got back to the table, Brad handed her the piece of paper. What is this? After sitting down, she looked at it before holding it up. Dude! They laughed. Oh my god! She got out her phone and texted him to see if it was legitimate.

Hey, it’s Bria. The girl at Koi with the three guys. Just making sure this is Matt. – Bria

They finished eating and paid what they could afford. She got the rest with her card. They all thanked her. They were very welcome. She left a great tip for the staff. It was something her parents taught her. Even if the food and/or service wasn’t the greatest, she should still leave a good tip. They told her that the staff depended heavily on tips to pay their bills.

It was also a great way of saying thank you and appreciation. Every time they went out to eat with her, they modeled what they expected from her. When they got back to her place, they said goodbye to Brad and Rob before going inside. It had been another fun afternoon and evening. She still had a lot of energy, so she was going to use the pool. It had been about a half hour since she finished eating and her stomach had settled. He went in after taking off his socks and shoes.

He sat on the edge with his pants legs rolled up. The water felt wonderful! Next time, he was going to bring his swim trunks so he could swim around with her. Maybe he would just put them into a bag in his car or keep them at her place. It would be easier that way. She came down with Buddy and Missy behind her. They whined because they wanted to use the pool. She asked Mike what he thought.

He thought it would be okay since they would be watching them. Yay! They ran inside. Thank you, humans! They laughed at their excitement. She took off Missy’s dress because she didn’t want it to get wet before getting in. Mike took it from her. He would keep it dry. The dogs got in after her and paddled around. They were as happy as dogs could be. Mike understood why she would be hesitant about letting them in. What if they drowned? She would hate herself.

It was why she had the door installed. They would have to be rinsed off to get the saltwater out. That was why she had the dog washing station installed in the laundry room. The house was designed and built with her animals in mind.

Haha yes, it is. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself before. – Matt

Rob and Brad were stuffed when they got home. They both had leftovers, which went into the refrigerator. Rob kissed his cheek, making him laugh. Neither of them liked PDA so they always waited until they got home to be affectionate with each other. They were going home to Agoura Hills to have dinner with their families at Brad’s parents’ house.

It was only a forty-minute drive but they had been busy promoting their album. It would be them, their parents and brothers. Rob had a younger brother named, Dave while Brad had two younger brothers, Greg and Jeff. Their families loved each other and they wanted them to get married. They were talking about getting engaged. The only issue they were having was the question of children. Brad wanted children but Rob was unsure.

They didn’t want to break up, so they were working together on how to compromise. Brad was not going to push him into doing anything he didn’t want to. He knew and respected that. Even if they did break up, they were mature enough to not have it affect their friendship or the band.

Did she want to hook up? Yes. She sent Matt her address before getting ready. Mike had just left, so she hopped into the shower to rinse the saltwater off. She was getting dressed as the intercom buzzed. It was him. She told him she would be down in a minute. When she opened the door, she looked at the man standing in front of her. He was gorgeous! They introduced themselves before she invited him in. They then went upstairs to her room.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[timeoverload]

I have spent a lot of my weekend sleeping but I keep having horribly vivid nightmares. I woke up at 5 because I had another one.

I've had to cut down on smoking a lot (against my will) since the person that was helping me with that is strung out on coke now or something and I don't feel safe going over there anymore. They have changed a lot and I can't trust someone in that state, especially when they have weapons laying around. I don't want to be around that stuff and I'm not going to put myself in a potentially dangerous position just for that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now but I will probably have to stop entirely since I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I'm pissed that I can't just go to the store and get it myself and I wish it was legal here. It's so much better than drinking all the time and I haven't really wanted to do that either. I don't handle hangovers very well anymore. It's probably good for me to take a bit of a break but I hate it and I'm grumpy. I think that has contributed to me having more nightmares and definitely isn't helping with my pain, appetite, or my mood. I thought I would be more motivated without it too but now it's worse.

I decided to get up and force myself to go to the grocery store this morning since I couldn't fall back asleep. I bought way more stuff than I normally do so hopefully I can get myself to eat more. I like going to the store really early when there aren't very many people there so I don't get overstimulated and feel like I need to rush out of there. I don't feel like I did that much but I'm worn out again. I also feel like I have a migraine coming on. I need to force myself to get more stuff done today and tomorrow. It feels like any time I make any progress, I have to start over again. I'm tired of it being that way.

I greatly appreciate my family letting me live here for free because I would probably be homeless otherwise but I really wish I had a little more room. I really like my bedroom but with all of the stuff in here it feels small and overwhelming. I really miss having my own bathroom and my washer and dryer. It is nice not having to pay rent since I was spending almost $1000 a month on that since I usually ended up having to cover most of it. I like being able to save some money and also buy myself the things I always wanted when I wasn't allowed to spend money on myself without getting in trouble. I've made quite a bit of progress with paying off my debt too.

I guess I've still been feeling a little bitter though because the person who ruined my life has gotten to live comfortably in a brand new place since I left and I have had to struggle to do everything. I'm still angry with his family for treating me like I'm a bad person and spoiling him when they witnessed how he treated me and they were fine with it but I don't think they ever liked me or understood me anyway. They could tell I was traumatized and I wanted to tell them that he hurt me but I couldn't trust them. I also couldn't sleep at night without worrying that he would do something to me while I was unconscious. He was a creep and lacked self-control. He didn't get my permission. He didn't have respect for my bodily autonomy. I remember him insulting my appearance and then later trying to say he was just joking. Apparently no one ever taught him that it's not ok to hit a woman either until I came along. I remember him responding to my panic attacks by trying to wrestle me and pin me down and I had bruises on my arms from trying to get away from him. Sadly that's not the worst thing he did to me. There is a lot of mental illness and violence in his family too. It got to the point where I had to start fighting back and I'm not that kind of person. I didn't like how he and his dad started buying lots of guns and it made me uncomfortable to know there was one in the closet when we lived in the apartment. I don't miss getting screamed at on a regular basis either and getting in trouble for doing anything. Mental illness isn't an excuse in my opinion and he refused to get on medication until after I broke up with him and tried to use that as leverage to get back together but obviously I said no. He also wrote me a 40 page love letter and forced me to sit on the couch while he read it to me after we broke up even after I begged him to stop and was crying. He also went and got tattoos on his arms that matched the color and theme of the ones I have after we broke up because he wanted to match and I thought that was weird. He was just being obsessive and wouldn't leave me alone for a while even when I would ignore him. His mom always hated me too because I "took her son away from her" when he was the one who pursued me initially and wouldn't back off until I decided to date him. It still grosses me out that his dad also tried to sexually harass me on multiple occasions when he was trashed and I was still expected to be around him despite my complaints. I want to warn his current girlfriend about him because I don't want to see anyone else get hurt but it isn't my place to do so. I'm happy he moved on. I don't miss him and I don't care that he's with someone else but I just hope he treats her better than he treated me. I know I wasn't the perfect girlfriend but I spoiled him and did everything he asked me to do and it still wasn't enough. I let him manipulate and control me for so long and I had to relearn how to make decisions for myself. I'm so happy I never have to see those people again. I would never go back. I can't say they never did anything for me but they definitely didn't treat me with respect a lot of the time. I'm really surprised that our last conversation was amicable considering what a nightmare it was trying to get out of there. Lately I have been thinking about all of the bad things that happened to me during the time I spent with him and I know I made the right decision to leave. I don't think he ever truly loved me because that's not how you treat someone you love. I'm so thankful we never had any children together despite him pressuring me to do so. I couldn't imagine trying to raise a child in that environment. It wasn't healthy at all. I spent so long questioning my reality and wondering if I was as evil as he said I was. Unfortunately those memories have been resurfacing in my nightmares and I feel like I need to talk about it because it has been bothering me. I definitely have PTSD from that situation. I'm glad that I feel safe here with my family because I never want to experience that again.

I know I will always have a home here. I know my dad has tried really hard to be patient with me and make me happy and I'm not sure where I would be without him right now. He stepped up and took care of us when my mom couldn't do it anymore while trying to work full time and take care of the house. I know that being a single parent isn't easy. He has a lot of responsibilities and things to worry about and I don't want him to be super stressed out all the time. He doesn't show it but I know he is. I'm thankful that he has helped me take care of the cats too because it has been difficult for me to do anything. I wish I could do more for him and help him more and maybe I will be in a place soon where I am able to do that because he deserves it. He hasn't had an easy life and has worked really hard and I think he needs to take a vacation soon. I definitely feel like I owe him a lot for helping me get my life back.

I just can't wait to get out of this slump because I don't think I have ever been this bad. I know I'm capable and I'm not giving up on myself. I think I am also getting stir crazy because I have been cooped up in here for a long time now. The weather has been really nice lately and I want to go outside more because my vitamin D is extremely low but I don't really like going for walks by myself because of past experiences. I really hope I can get out and do something fun this summer because I really need it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day and try to stop thinking about bad stuff so much.

[madchild-dennis]

I STILL Cry

Once reminded, or have to sleep and God brings it back up (cause I could care LESS), I am going to cry. Why? Not because of love. THE FUCK NOT. It's the fuckery that came and will come with it because

WHY GOD WON'T FUCKING LET UP.

Like I said BELOW:

I WILL NOT:

Pray

fast

inquiry

help

sacrifice

or do anything specific for him

THE FUCK NOT.

I choose to STOP speaking in tongs nor PRAY in the spirit because right after, God also redirect the source/solution is FUCKING RAHEEM. SO NO. Not even the our father prayer. I was told to pray it a few weeks ago and guess what, God took it as praying in the spirit and once again direct it back to that BITCH.

I started to write a whole post about it and stopped:

for almost 2 FUCKING YEARS I've:

suffered

been hunted

attacked by many (including him and his fucking mother as well)

called mentally ill

bullied by his gf's ppl

homeless

scorned

ridiculed

nearly raped

judged

probed, medicated and injected

SUFFERED

MUCH MUCH MORE

For some promises that include him. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT GOD IS STILL SAYING HIM.

Clearly, I have NO FUCKING CHOICE IN THE MATTER. HENCE CRYING

I AM TIRED OF THIS SHIT AND HIM

No one understand, no one cares.

Even the person couldn't believe that it was me and my story God led her to be in a spiritual warfare for. I had to be digging up old messages and shit to show that the girl name is Samantha,. The name God led her to as the source of the witchcraft. As you can see below:

(I don't care if she's clout chasing. I could care less about her actually)

Someone said when I showed her profile that she's, fat, ugly or sour. I don't watch people's weight nor care about that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I've never been near her to know if she smells.

I just know we are NOT the same in the simple fact of confidence, charisma, I know how to PROPERLY HANDLE MY SHIT, and the simple fact that I DO NOT CARE. I do NOT CARE what others think of me or how I do things.

In fact I do NOT paint myself as some woman of God. I actually a very tortured woman who feels is WRONGED BY A LYING GOD, but giving him a chance to prove 'him'self.

BUT SHE prides herself in that identity, even IF she dabbles in witch craft (obeah/tying). Which is where God has this unquenchable anger towards her and WILL DESTROY HER AND HER WHOLE FAMILY FOR IT. Especially because it's forcing someone to be with her from her CLEAR obsession, her family's choice to encourage or fuel it, the LIES and trying to hurt/harm/kill me.

You don't have to believe me. Nor the fact that this woman who say she was led by the Holy spirit to speak in tongue, free someone from the demonic ties and heard God say her name. (She doesn't want to make a video with me out of fear of loosing her job. Which is whatever people will still choose NOT to believe even with a video)

I'M SO OVER ALL THIS SHIT!!!!

ONE THING I WILL NEVER DO:

Force, convince or do anything to get someone to be with me or stay with me.

I work by this rule: If I have to force theme, to be with me, I will have to keep doing it to keep them. I don't have the time nor energy to do that, PLUS THAT"S SELF-HATE. I LOVE MYSELF TOO MUCH to do that shit. So I will choose to be with someone who wants to freely be with me, and LOVES me like or better than I love me.

WHICH IS WHY I FUCKING HATE GOD!!!!

THAT BITCH CHOSE AND CONTINUE TO Choose. I DO NOT CARE if he was witch crafted.

IF HE WANTED ME HE WOULD FIGHT TO BE WITH ME.

That weak ass afraid bitch won't do shit. The same person who did the spiritual warfare said, if he wants to be free, HE HAS TO CHOOSE IT. HE HAS TO FIGHT IT.

Thats why I won't fight or do shit for him.

The ONLY way I will is AFTER HE DOES ALL I REQUIRE.

Till then, that bitch can nyam shit with his bitch.

MY ANGER IS WITH GOD and what He's going to keep doing behind my back.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

break up in a small town (jake “hangman” seresin)

a/n: no one talked me into doing this, my undiagnosed adhd hyperfocused and produced this. i’m gonna write what is a sequel to memory i don’t mess with and this is the prequel in a sense, but you should definitely read that one first if you haven’t read it yet. sets the tone and context and such

mildly inspired by sam hunt’s “break up in a small town”

memory i don’t mess with | when i get where i’m going

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

warnings: break-ups, slight angst, brief mention of terminal illness, she a shortie, i still don’t know how the military works, i included a lizzy mcalpine quote courtesy of my friend but i’m not telling you who it applies to you have to guess, 

word count: 1,211

“and the funny thing is I would’ve married you/if you had stuck around”-lizzy mcalpine, doomsday

Jake loved his little town, he did. He couldn’t even leave his house without the ghost of his past haunting him, memories floating in his peripheral. He was tired of the looks from his friends, the people in town, even neighbors he’d never spoken to since news of your breakup had hit the masses. Everyone had said that it was the two of you till the end of time. And for a while he had agreed, kissed your temple, and talk about how he couldn’t wait to marry you someday. But Jake hadn’t been the one to make the decision to end it had he? Never mind all that though, he wasn't going to waste an unnecessary second thinking about the break-up or how much it had hurt. He wouldn’t think about how angry he was that you had thrown away the relationship before it ever really had a chance, how terrified he was for the day he’d see you again. Terrified he’d leave for the Navy and never see you again. What Jake didn’t expect to hear about was you moving on so quickly. He had thought, assumed, that your relationship had meant more. It had to him. You were his forever and the only girl he considered marriage for. He wouldn’t admit or think about how much his heart broke when he got those all knowing looks from his sister or heard whispers of your new flame in town. He was torn and conflicted and so he settled on not thinking about it all, making the most of his last few weeks at home before leaving for basic training. 

-

Jake couldn’t forget the night it had all ended though, the memory replaying everyday in the back of his head, meticulously picking apart the fight and your relationship for a decision, a choice, a sentence, a word that could have changed the outcome. But you’d made the choice and he couldn’t change your mind. You had stood firm in what you wanted and what the future held for the two of you. 

-

He couldn’t understand why you were upset. He’d enlisted in the Navy just a few days prior, was in the process of going through all of his tests, and after passing them, he’d wait and then get his basic training placement. This wasn’t news to you, all things the two of you had discussed before he’d ever even sent in his papers. But you’d mumbled about seeing Mrs. Thompson, the widow of a Navy officer, in town today, had had dinner with the woman, and were now in some kind of freak-out about him enlisting in the Navy. The two of you had been arguing, but there’d been a pause as the anger seemed to run out of you. You slumped down at a chair at your kitchen counter and Jake followed suit. His hand reached out for you, placing it on your thigh as you held your head in your hands. He shifted some your hair so it was no longer covering your face as he realized you were crying. “Baby, I don’t understand what’s happening.” He whispered, rubbing a thumb across your thigh. 

“Jake, I can’t-” He visibly saw the words get trapped in your throat and his heart sank. He knew where this conversation was going. You stayed silent for a few more moments, clearly trying to formulate a sentence around the tears. He’d give you all the time you needed if it meant you would stay. “I’m so scared you’re going to leave and not come back. And I- I’m just supposed to wait here in this stupid town not knowing when or if I’ll see you again?” Jake desperately yearned to take you in his arms, hold you close, let you know that it was all going to be okay. 

“Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this. When I leave for basic, I’ll see you afterwards. Once I get my deployment orders, we’ll know more. You’ll be in school, working towards your degree okay? We’re gonna figure it out together.” 

“I’m not going.” You muttered. He froze. What? “Mom’s getting too sick, someone needs to stay here and look after Tyler and the business.” He didn’t know that. Why hadn’t you told him that? “Called the school yesterday and officially changed my enrollment notice.” A heavy silence hung in the dim room as he took in the news. You weren’t going to college. Passed up on something that had been your dream to look after your family and here Jake was, getting ready to leave you alone to wherever the Navy would send him. “Jake, it’s not- not just the long distance.” 

“Baby, what are you saying?” He knew exactly what you were saying. 

“Okay, so we go through basic. And then deployment. And then what? Jake I can’t handle knowing every time you leave me it may be the last time I see you. After losing my Dad, I will not lose you too.” 

“Baby, you aren’t gonna lose me.” 

“You can’t guarantee that! Jake, you can not guarantee that wherever the Navy sends you isn’t gonna cost you your life!” He swallows. You weren’t wrong. 

“I’m gonna do my very best to come home to you baby, I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes.”  

“And I’m supposed to sit here, taking care of my baby brother and dying mother, living everyday in fear and anxiety that the next time my phone rings it’s gonna be some Navy officer to tell me my boyfriend is dead? No thanks, Jake. That is an awful way to live and I can’t - won’t - live like that.” His heart pounded in his chest, mind reeling as he took in the severity and sincerity of the words. He knew what was about to happen. “It’s better if we end it now. I’d rather lose you like this, where I get to say goodbye, than lose you like that.”

“Baby, please don’t this, we’ll figure something out I promise, please just don’t-” Jake was desperate, tears of his own starting to form. 

“My decision’s been made. You're not changing my mind.”

“But I love you.” He whispered, voice cracking. His head bowed, body shaking with silent tears. 

“And I love you.” His heart held out a dangerous flame of hope. “But I can’t force myself to live like that.” The flame of hope extinguished painfully in his heart. “I love you enough to let you go.” He took a deep breath and then stood up from the table, wondering if he should say anything. But you wouldn’t look at him and you were right, your decision had been made. He walked out of your house, shutting the door behind him for the last time, missing the way you whispered goodbye. He slid into his truck, breath catching in his throat. He drove down the gravel road, trying not to think about what he was leaving behind, focusing on ignoring every part of his body that was screaming at him to go back, fix this, don’t let her leave. 

He loved her, but he would have to love her enough to let her go.

[themand0lorian]

BEHIND THE MASK // 3 // SOCIAL DISTANCING

Summary: You get to see a different side of Dieter Bravo.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader (no Y/N)

Rating: Teen

Words: ~5100 (AO3)

Tags: enemies to lovers, miscommunications, lots of Pandemic talk, Reader gets sick so lots of mention of illness/vomit/pills/doctors, the real Dieter Bravo™️

no movie spoilers (unless unintentional)

Notes: Had to make up some scenes/dialogue for Cliff Beasts as well as Dieter’s backstory, so assume none of it is real. But I used some lines from recent promos, see if you can spot them :)

Bravo does not show up back on set in ten. Or twenty, or thirty. By forty, Nick insists you go look for him, and you trudge back down dutifully, not quite ready to face him after your blow ups. You let yourself into his suite; he’s dressed and ready, and for once, not looking at his phone. He’s just staring at his hands in his lap, twiddling his thumbs, barely registering your presence.

“Mr. Bravo?” you ask gently, and he startles to attention. You can practically see his shift in demeanor, painting the douchebag picture once again as he stands, but it feels half-hearted.

“Sorry, sweetheart—I lost track of time.” You nod, watching as he gathers his things in silence and then making your way upstairs with him. The tension between you is thick, and you fight your better judgement to break the silence.

“I’m sorry I overstepped, Mr. Bravo.” “You didn’t,” he replies smally. “I needed to hear it.” You nod, not expecting an apology from him, and you don’t get one; but you still hold your breath when he turns to you to speak. “Sweetheart? If—if you want to leave, you can. I know this isn’t what you signed up for.” You look up at him, stopped on the stairs below entering the set.

“I don’t leave when things get hard, Mr. Bravo.” He nods, accepting the answer. You suppose it would be easier for him if you left, too, and you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Maybe we could start over?”

“Okay, Mr. Bravo,” you agree tentatively, still awaiting an apology you know you won’t get.

“Would you call me Dieter?”

“Sure, Mr. Bravo. Whatever you want,” you sigh, appeasing him, and he only nods, masking his own disappointment as he turns to set. He promptly turns on the Dieter Bravo façade you’ve come to expect, schmoozing with the first woman he sees—a boom operator--while you deflate out of sight.

They end up finishing up relatively quickly, Hailey trying to communicate with wide eyes when Dieter approaches you where you sit with the other PAs, waiting quietly until you’re finished to lead him back downstairs. He trails behind you a bit, and you think you may have punched the wind out of his sails too much, but before you can even leave the floor, the boom operator from earlier is slipping into his room, and you leave with a roll of your eyes.

Hailey is waiting for you at your door, hands full of Pete’s cookies and mouth full of questions. What happened, what you said, what he said; you had never been fully forthcoming about your relationship with each other, or things he said to you, but they all spill out now, like some kind of reverent confession. By the end, you’re exhausted, sprawled horizontally on the bed and full of cookies. Hailey lays next to you, hand intertwined.

“He doesn’t know who he’s messing with, sweetie.” “I know,” you sigh. “I just—I don’t know.” Hailey waits quietly for you to expand. “Sometimes I get tired of being the bad guy, you know? The ‘ball buster.’” You can practically feel her roll her eyes. “It’s just—It would be nice to feel wanted. Appreciated. Cared about.”

“Well, I care about you,” Hailey interjects.

“I know. I just—it’s hard to explain I guess. I’ll never look like you. I’ll never be pretty enough, or smart enough, or good enough to him. And I don’t know why I care, I just—”

“It’s dehumanizing,” Hailey offers, and you nod solemnly, not making eye contact. “I guess now you know why so many of his PAs have quit.”

“I’m not going to do that,” you offer smally. “I just—I’ll suffer through it. I have so far, I can continue.”

“You don’t think he changed after today? He certainly looked pitiful.”

“He didn’t even say sorry, Hail. I apologized, and when it was his turn he just—gave me another demand. I’ll never be anything more to him than a servant.” She hums, but you both go quiet. The endless cookies you ate are starting to get to you, the heavy weight of all your issues making your head pound. You end up saying goodnight early, skipping crew dinner entirely to go to bed, hoping to turn off your brain.

Despite the extra sleep, you feel awful the next day. Your last virus test came back negative, so you figure it’s probably just the stress—and the diet of cookies and coffee—and soldier on, ready to start the day like usual. You’re surprised when you walk in to find Dieter’s quarters neatened up; not quite clean, but dishes are put in the sink, and there isn’t much for you to wipe down. You figure the maids had made it in before you today. You notice only one wine glass, but decide not to dwell on it, figuring you’ll see the boom operator sooner or later anyway. You pull the wardrobe for the day, pin the schedule up—then your eyes land on the tabletop. The script is open on top, some notes scribbled in the margins. Looking closer, it seems like the scenes are on deck for today. Maybe you did get to him.

When Dieter emerges from his cave, you’re almost surprised a woman isn’t following behind him. He’s still disheveled from sleep, but he wears normal glasses instead of his usual sunglasses, overall seeming a bit brighter and more clear-headed than usual. He actually greets you with a curt “good morning,” walking to the coffee pot, and you watch in awe.

“You okay?” You must have been spacing out too long, caught in your own thoughts, and you nod quickly.

“Yeah, yeah—tired I guess.” You quickly finish up what you were doing before heading for the door, the hair and makeup team on their way in; Dieter even greets them. “I’ll see you on set--”

“In 30?” He finishes.

“In 30,” you confirm, leaving him to his morning.

The boom operator gives Dieter a dirty look when he enters set, looking wholly and utterly—prepared. He smiles smally at people, sits in his chair with his name on it but faces it toward the poor guy who has to give the morning meetings, instead of gracing him with his broad back. He pays attention, he says his lines in that stupid fucking accent and the few times he messes up, it’s minor stuff. He even gives you a small wave, like a kid on his first day of kindergarten, when he catches your attention across set, which you return sheepishly. He’s not quite eager to make friends, but he is at least cordial, and you think you finally set his path straight.

One day, on an extended break, he sits running lines while you return a few emails on his phone. It’s quiet when you’re both immersed like this, though he’s been attempting to say the word “feathers” in that stupid accent, but it’s not all that unpleasant—the melodic repetition of “fey-ethers” almost like background music as you work. His normal voice makes you jolt from your concentration.

“What was your favorite consulting job you’ve ever done?” “What?”

“You said you were a consultant before. Did you have a favorite place you worked?” He…remembered that? Dieter Bravo remembered something about you…and now was asking you about it? You blinked at him, your original rules blaring like an alarm in your head, but you saw it for what it was—an olive branch.

“A florist.” So you took it.

“Why?” “Well, for one, they didn’t need to change much. The hired me before things got too bad. But, I don’t know—I guess being around flowers all day was nice. Better than an office.”

“You’re into flowers?” You give a more playful roll of your eyes. You can tell he’s done practicing lines, easily bored by the task. He never quite nailed his “feathers” pronunciation.

“Not really. Just—being surrounded by beautiful things all the time. It was nice to just get lost among them.” He nods, pinning you in his stare.

“I can relate to that.” You look away under his gaze, then decide to extend your proverbial olive branch back.

“I’m sure. You’re surrounded by beautiful people all the time. What’s your favorite role you’ve done?” When he doesn’t immediately answer, you add on. “It certainly can’t be this one.” That earns you a laugh, whole and pure, which makes you smile in return.

“Joe. In Sailing into Fire,” he admits. You quirk your brow.

“An indie film? That’s surprising.” “You know it?” He smiles, then frowns when he realizes what you said. “Why is that surprising?”

“Just—not as much pomp and circumstance as I expected.” He shrugs.

“I—I’m not so into that stuff as it may seem.” He looks to his fingers, toying with them. “It was my first leading role in a movie. It—it felt like I made it.”

“And look at you now,” you offer, only somewhat sarcastically. “Leading man in the Moondust trilogy, critically acclaimed for Hunger Strike--” “You watched them?”

“I told you, I do my research,” you reply. It’s well past five now, so you move to finish up for the day, but not before revealing your own admission.

“But I think Joe was my favorite, too. Even though his character was sad, you really brought him to life. You just seemed—passionate. Happy.” Dieter only nods, watching as you walk out the door for the night.

The next morning, he’s awake before you even get to his suite, coffee already brewed. He asks about your night, reads over the schedule you pin up. When he sees his later call time, he even starts to ask to run lines with you, which is comical, but you give it your all. Each character gets a different silly voice—Colt Rockwell gets a gruff, adventurey voice. Dr. Lacey gets a ditzy twang. Dr. Packard gets a gruff voice as well, though slightly deeper, the deepest you can go. Dolly gets just about the worst Southern accent you can manage, drawing on your experience with Hailey.

“Stay-tus up-dayte. We. Are. Fucked.” Dieter looks at you a long moment, composed, before breaking into raucous laughter. You’ve honestly never heard him laugh so hard; sound so genuine. But it still feels a little hurtful, and you roll your copy of the scene, whacking him with it.

“Hey! I’m trying here!” “No, no—I know. It was great.” He finishes laughing. “Please. Continue.” You scrunch your nose, then read the next few lines of the short monologue.

“Eet looks like this is eet. I’m sorry I couldn’t save ya’ll. I’m supposed to know all about these beasts, and they damn near snuck up on me.”

“Well—I have to tell you. I don’t know about any beasts. I don’t know about any cliffs. But I do know a beautiful woman when I see one, and I can’t—no, I won’t--let these creatures take you away from me.”

 Dieter reads his own back to you, and for a moment, you’re entranced. You’re actually at the top of a cliff, there are actually beasts. It all sounds so ridiculous in that accent, but just watching him give the lines--despite the obvious writing flaws—with such emotion and depth really bring something out of him. A passion you think Dieter Bravo has learned to hide over the years. A humanizing element he brought to Joe coming back through.

A dream where maybe, Dieter Bravo is actually calling you beautiful.

You realize he’s done talking, looking at you expectantly, but you falter, closing the script as you glance at your watch.

“Sorry Mr. Bravo, looks like that’s all we have time for today, your call time is in fifteen—” “Oh, before you go, wait—” He stands with you, pulling a laptop out of his bag and typing something in. He turns the computer to show you a necklace with two gaudy, bejeweled hearts interlocked. The price almost makes you gag. “What do you think?” You grimace, then try to save face.

“It’s—it’s expensive,” you offer, trying to be truthful.

“What? Okay, but—what do you think?  Tell me the truth,” he pleads gently. You swallow.

“Uh—well. In times like this, it’d be better if you supported a small business instead of a chain. I’m sure they’re struggling.” He nods thoughtfully. “And, uh, I obviously don’t know this person--but generally, women don’t like heart necklaces.” “Even if you want to show them you love them?” “Especially then,” you counter, and he nods like he’s never heard of this before. “They’re kind of tacky.”

“What do you recommend then?” You take the computer for him, typing a new website and clicking a few times before choosing something and handing it back. The necklace is similar; still gold, still more expensive than you’d ever spend. Instead of intertwining hearts, it has intertwining rings.

“Rings? I’m not trying to marry—” “I know,” you roll your eyes. “But it’s a metaphor. Unity. Wholeness.” He nods lightly. “Endless love that can’t be broken.” You click a new picture over his shoulder. “It can even be engraved on the inside—you can write a message only she will see.” He opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “That’s all you—I’m not coming up with that. But really just--something simple. Timeless. That's what women want.” With that, you begin to leave, the stylists making their way in, but his voice stops you.

“Sweetheart?” You turn to him. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Of course, Mr. Bravo.” He smiles, lips in a thin line, and you exit, trying not to think about the woman he’s buying jewelry for, or the fluttering his stupid accent as his stupid explorer with his stupid lines made you feel. None of this is real.

Dieter’s only scene that day is a solo monologue, so you don’t see much of anyone else on the sound stage; you’re thankful, since you’re starting to get drowsy with such a late start to the day. Dieter films his monologue in two takes, though they get a third just in case, and then you’re done for the day, parting at his door as always, though there feels like there’s some invisible string tethering you to him. You don’t know why, or when it started, but part of you is wont to let him go, and the rest of you tampers that feeling, deciding to file it away until you’re back in your shoebox apartment and out of Dieter Bravo’s path.

When you get to your floor, there’s a sign outside the kitchen announcing crew dinner is cancelled for the night, and that filming is paused for the weekend as the studio gets a “deep clean.” You grumble a bit, grabbing some of whatever you can find in the fridge, then head to your room, where a note from Nick is stuck to the door.

Filming’s cancelled over the weekend to clean the studio—you’re off the Bravo hook until Monday. Enjoy :)

You bring the sticky note in with you, exhaustion finally settling into your bones as you enter your own space. The food and drink you brought in suddenly seems less appetizing than before, and you store it away before falling into bed, hoping that a weekend away from Dieter Bravo will help lighten the load you’ve felt on your chest since your argument-though now, the load feels less like loathing and more like confusion. Your feelings are allowed to change—but have his? Or is this just the pinnacle of his acting career, fooling a smart, confident woman into believing he cares, only to get what he wants? You groan as you flip to the other side of the bed,

No one steps in Dieter’s path as he angrily stomps down the stairs Monday morning, and into the crew hallway. The housekeepers don’t bat an eye, and the crew—they’re all upstairs, filming newsreels and interviews and other small scenes while a few of the actors are down for the count—exactly where Dieter was supposed to be.

An hour ago.

But you hadn’t come to his room, pinned his schedule, made his coffee. His whole morning was off-kilter, and he missed his interview, and his agent had called seven times trying to figure out what happened to Hollywood superstar Dieter Bravo, and it all felt like too much and not enough and pressure and feelings and everything was culminating in the pound of his fist on your door, labelled smally with your last name. When there’s no answer, he tries again, a hand on the handle finding it unlocked, and takes it upon himself to take out his anger on the only other person he has—you.

He shouts your name angrily as he opens the door, still pounding on it. “Hey! Where have you been, I missed—” taking a moment to look around, he stops in his spot. He’s surprised at how small the room feels; barely room for the bed and the kitchenette. So where could you even be? He calls your name again, worry starting to lace his tone as he steps around the room.

It’s a mess, which seems unlike you, always quick to clean up his space. The bed is unmade and the sheets are thrown off the top, there are dishes and cups scattered around and half-full of liquid. The entire room feels stale and musty, and when he rounds the bed to glance into the bathroom, he understands why.

He finds you laying on the grimy tile floor, rushing up to you to kneel at your side, turning you until you’re flat on your back.

“Sweetheart?” His voice wavers, barely audible, but your eyes flicker open, some vague recognition behind them.

“M’Bravo—s’Monday?--the interview—phone—” He shushes you gently.

“Why are you on the floor?” “Cold. Tiles. Nice.” You groan a bit, trying to roll over again to press your cheek to it. He can see you’ve been throwing up, and your face is hot to the touch when he runs a hand over it. Still, you keen into him, mumbling. “Hands cold too.”

“How long have you been sick?” He coaxes gently, helping you to sit up and lean against the wall.

“Few days.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Was busy,” you murmur. “Interview. Beasts.” That seems to make something click for you. “M’Bravo, phone interview—” “Stop,” he pleads gently. “Don’t think about work. Just—c’mon.” You move with him as he stands with a groan.

“Old,” you mutter, and he releases a light chuckle, holding you to his side and placing your hand over his shoulder to guide you.

“And I thought you didn’t have a filter before.” You manage a weak roll of your eyes, which he appreciates all the more now, before he leads you out into the hall. No one is really around; everyone on set or in meetings or giving press tours. When you climb the stairs at Dieter’s behest, each one feels worse than the last, you practically pushing him over by the top of them, but he remains strong and steady, leading you by the hip as your head rests on his shoulder. You think about Cliff Beasts, if only for a moment—deciding this is your version of Mount Everest—which makes you snort, but Dieter’s not in on the joke, and he just grins quietly when you look at him with a stunted, delirious chuckle.

You’ve walked this path every day since you’ve been here, but you’re so out of it you don’t recognize it until you see the door labeled “Bravo.” When you try to turn away, thinking he led you astray, he gently guides you back, entering the room you’ve become well accustomed to, before bringing you to the interior door. He pulls keys as you sway next to him, unlocking it to let you in first.

The first, and only thing you register is bright. Windows are thrown open with gauzy curtains swaying in the light breeze, but the sunlight makes your head pound, and when you curl away from it, you end up curled into Dieter’s arms.

“S’Bright,” you moan, burying your face into his shoulder. He holds you cautiously, not quite encircling you.

“I know,” he coos. “Let’s get you into bed and I’ll close the blinds.” You whine lightly in response, but let him guide you through the room. It’s much larger than yours, with several doors you can’t figure out in your haze. The sheets are cool and plush, and you practically melt into them the second you hit the fluffy bed.

You come in and out of sleep over the next few minutes, eyes struggling to follow Dieter’s moves as he flits about. The blinds get closed, though fresh air still billows in. A glass of water appears, then a trash can, then some crackers. You can hear him talking, vaguely—in that voice you hate.

“I don’t care, get a doctor up here right fucking now—” You flip to the cool side of the bed, but get no relief. Suddenly, a hand appears on your face. “Yeah, she feels hot—fever, I don’t know, this is why we need the doctor—” When he tries to pull away, you grab his hand again, replacing it on your cheek in contentment.

“Feelsnice,” you murmur, leaning into it.

“And she’s delirious,” Dieter adds. “Get a doctor here, now, or I’m quitting the movie.” When you open your eyes again, he has his phone in his hand, but you hold his other to you still.

“A doctor will be here soon, sweetheart,” he assures you, his voice back to the tender version you prefer.

“Why?” you ask quietly.

“You’re really sick—”

“Nooo,” you whine, taking a drink of water when he offers it to you. He doesn’t even let you hold the cup, gently lifting it to your lips with one hand while the other cradles the back of your head. It lingers there after the cup has been brought back down “Why are you taking care of me?” He looks into your eyes, trying to communicate something without words, but instead pulls his hands away.

“They’ll be here soon. Get some rest.” You pout at his lack of answer, but fall back asleep by the time he reaches the door.

When you awake the next time, it’s to the doctor, though you don’t remember much. She did her normal tests, tsked at your temperature and lung function, you gagged a bit when she swabbed your throat. All this time, Dieter was nowhere to be found—and somehow, you missed his presence. Sure, he was an ass—but he also saved you from death-by-vomit, and this side of him, this tender, soft, human side, you wanted to see more of.

By the time the doctor diagnosed you with the “normal” flu—which had apparently been going around some of the other cast and crew, hence the cancelled weekend shoots—you were exhausted, eyes barely open, but you still startled to attention when Dieter opened the door, a mug and several pill bottles in his hands.

“Oh, lemme help you—” He stops you almost instantly from standing up, coming over with the items instead.

“I got it,” he hums, placing the pills in front of you as he sits on the edge of the bed. “I got your prescriptions—and some tea. Here.” You nod gratefully, letting him help you dose it out before taking the pills. He leaves the tea, standing up. “She said they might make you a little drowsy. Is there anything else you need? Blankets, pillows? Bathroom’s over there—it’s the only one so I’ll be in and out.” You nod, still barely coherent, drifting almost back to sleep as he leaves you to rest. “But I’ve got bad news for you sweetheart—we’re both gonna be stuck in here for quarantine together.”

“Why?” “Because you’re sick and I’ve been exposed—” “Noo,” you complain. “Why is that bad?” He looks at you a long moment, trying to figure out if you’re serious, if you’ll even remember this.

“You hate me,” he supplies smally. You roll your eyes again, but the action allows them to fall shut as you speak.

“I don’t hate you,” you murmur. “I hate Dieter Bravo.” He huffs.

“We’re one in the same.”

“Are you?” you question with a yawn, snuggling into a pillow. It smells vaguely of chocolate and sage and musk, but you revel in it, falling asleep too quickly to hear Dieter’s response.

“I’m not sure anymore.”

When he reenters a few hours later, you stir again, groaning as you see him. You had been restless all afternoon, sleeping in fits, but he has the next round of pills with him, and you’re thankful for the next cup of tea, taking it only somewhat greedily when he sits on the edge of the bed next to you.

“I’m sorry I took your bed,” you croak.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m glad I’m here to help.” He takes the mug from you to put it on the nightstand.

“Why are you helping me?” you ask again, a moment of clarity before the next wave of sickness or medicine-induced sleepiness kicks in. He seems to think a moment before responding. “I don’t leave when things get hard,” he replies simply, quoting you. “And you’re certainly a tough nut to crack.” You grimace at him.

“M’sorry.” “Don’t be. That’s what I like about you.” You grin, and even reeking of sick and sleep, feeble, sweaty and disgusting, it blinds him with radiance.

“No one’s ever said that before.” “That you’re tough?” “That they like that about me,” you clarify sleepily.

“Well they should. You’re one of the strongest people I know—you deal with me.” That earns him a quiet giggle, which makes him smile too. “You’re not so bad,” you reply. “When you’re quiet.” That makes him bark a laugh.

“Bold for someone who’s lying sick in my bed.” With that, he stands. “Get some rest—” You stop him with a hand to his wrist, making him turn to face you.

“Thank you, Dieter. Really.” He swallows audibly, looking to your hand before back into your eyes.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

You follow your regimen gratefully, allowing Dieter to bring you medicine at the assigned intervals, dozing and barely watching the large tv on the wall when you realize it’s been turned on over the next day or so. You barely acknowledge him when he enters, but he doesn’t press, accepting the little conversations and quips you give when you’re up to it. The doctor had told him not to worry when things got worse before they got better, the general course of the flu apparently ravaging the entire set almost set out in front of him, but he wasn’t quite ready to see you suffer more than you already are.

Dieter startles from his sleep to hear you retching in his room. He hadn’t slept much on the shitty couch anyway—more for decoration than comfort—but didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. That seems to go out the window when he walks into his room, finding you groaning over the toilet. Almost immediately, he’s at your side, rubbing your back as you whimper.

“Go away. I’m disgusting.”

“I’m not going to do that,” he replies gently, letting you glare at him from the other side of the toilet.

“I’m going to throw up on you.” “Then I’ll change.” “I’m gonna get you sick.”

“Then you’ll get a few days off.”

“I’m gonna—” “Sweetheart.” You look at him, earnestness over his face. “I’m not leaving.” You accept it, finally.

“Then distract me from how miserable I am.”

“How?” “I don’t know. Tell me a story from your fancy movie star life. Like why do you wear this?” You murmur, flicking his gold hoop earring. The small piece flies off his ear, clattering somewhere across the bathroom, and your eyes go wide as he suppresses a smile.

“I broke your ear,” you whisper in awe.

“It’s fake,” he admits quietly. You narrow your eyes at him, examining his ears, which move as he smiles more broadly. “Just—started as a joke. Kind of stuck.”

“Like it better like this,” you mutter, leaning to rest your head on the toilet, but he quickly steps in, leaning you backwards instead until your head rests on his shoulder. He straddles you in front of the toilet, your back warm against the undone buttons on his shirt as you wiggle to get them more comfortable. “Like you better like this.”

“Like what?”

“Human.” You seem to doze off a moment, but come back to him with a start when he blots your face with a cool washcloth. “M’Bravo?” “I told you to call me Dieter, sweetheart.”

“No,” you mumble. “This isn’t Dieter.” He looks at you for a long moment, and you continue to ramble. “This is the real you. You when no one is watching. Not Dieter.”

“Diego,” he offers, and you look up at him. “Dieter’s a stage name. My real name is Diego.”

“Fucking knew it," you mutter under your breath, but when he laughs, you come back to yourself. "I like it,” you run a hand across his coarse beard, each hair prickling your palm as he hums contentedly. “I’m glad I got to know you, Diego,” you murmur, holding hazy eye contact. “That I gave you—this--a chance.”

“I’m glad I get to know you,” he specifies, closing with your name; no sweetheart, no demands. Just your name, from his lips. The two of you stay embraced for a long moment, you cradled to him, holding his eyes with yours. He leans in for a moment, and your eyes close, hoping, hoping, but his plush lips press a gentle kiss to your forehead, off-target from where you expected.

“You’re gonna get sick,” you offer weakly, but he only shrugs, rinsing the washcloth in the water he brought over.

“That’s okay,” he hums. “I already am.” You get the feeling he isn’t talking about the flu.

TAGS: @i-love-movies @frasmotic @justanotherblonde23 @nicolethered @buckybarneshairpullingkink @scorpio-marionette @songsformonkeys @pedrostories @littlemisspascal​ @gracie7209​ @fangirl-316​ @spideysimpossiblegirl​ @mariwinns16​

[folklorelise]

That one time the kids called you “mom”

HC / OS (i don’t know) about that one time the kids called you “mom” and that one-time Jean called Captain Levi “dad” (not related with the “being a mom to the survey corps” -- you’re a squad leader in this).

 -          Armin

Armin was a smart kid and he loved spending time at the survey corps library. Armin grew up with his grandfather and he had to work very hard to provide enough food for the both of them. When Armin’s grandfather died, he was still a kid. When they all joined the survey corps, Armin instantly loved you – you would always be in the library, reading different books every week. He obviously wanted to come to you and talk about books with you, but that boy was too shy. You were a squad leader which meant that you were his superior officer.

You would notice Armin of course. He would always read and study strategies sitting in front of you. Sometimes he would open his mouth, thinking ‘today I’ll talk to her’ but he never did. Once you decided that you would start the conversation, but as soon as you put your book down, Armin ran away. After that, you told Levi, your boyfriend, what happened earlier.

“I think he’s scared of me.” You admitted.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Why did he run away then?”

“Maybe he needed to take a sh!t. Like really needed to so he ran away.”

Meanwhile in Armin’s bedroom, with Eren and Mikasa.

“Why did you do that?” Mikasa asked.

“I don’t know!” Armin inquired, “I’m so embarrassed right now.”

“That was a weird move.” Eren admitted, “Next time just say something, anything really.”

That very next day, Armin was determined to tell you how much he wanted to discuss books with you. He saw you at your usual place and he took his. He repeated his sentence over and over, ‘squad leader Y/N I’ve seen you here multiple times and I’d like to discuss books together.’ But before he could say anything, you started to talk.

“Why did you run off yesterday?” you asked.

“Books.” Armin shouted which only startled you a little, “I like books and you do too.”

“I do like to read.”

After that, Armin was more and more comfortable around you. You would always read together before an expedition or after an intense training day – it became your little tradition.

A few weeks later, Armin wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. He has read a book that he knew you would like, and he needed to tell you about it. He was eating with his friends and when he saw you and Captain Levi entering the mess hall, he shouted “MOM! I-“and stopped immediately after.

Everyone was staring at him and all Armin wanted at this moment was to be eaten by a titan. You on the other side were just smiling widely at Armin.

“You look like a creep, stop smiling.” Levi told you.

After dinner, you went to the library and found Armin sitting at your usual table, arms crossed on the table with his head on his arms.

“Armin, hey. How are you feeling?”

“Embarrassed. I – I don’t know why I called you that.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to worry about it.” you reassured him.

“But I embarrassed you too!”

“Who said you did?”

“Everyone was laughing.” Armin guessed.

Then, you spend your night like you always do which is reading together until Levi came to bring you back to bed.

“Good night Armin.” Levi told him before leaving.

“Good night Captain, squad leader.”

“Good night… son.” you finished before joining Levi, laughing slightly.

 —————

-          Eren

Eren was outside with all the others resting after training with Levi. They were discussing their skills after Levi made them do hand to hand combat to know who could have a day off from cleaning duties (it was your idea – Levi would never give a day off for cleaning).

“I am obviously the best here.” Jean acknowledged.

“Mikasa won against you!” Eren screamed back.

“Yeah, but I’m talking about us. Today, I won!” Jean replied.

“That’s because I was too tired from the titan experiments!”

“Riight. You are a titan. You shouldn’t even be tired!”

“Yeah because you know everything!” Eren shouted even louder.

Both were ready to fight, but they were expecting their friends to stop them, but they were just talking between them, ignoring their little dispute. Both of them just stared at each other, waiting for something to happen or someone but nothing – so they just stared at each other awkwardly. Eren spotted you not too far away and screamed at the top of his lungs:

“MOM! WE NEED YOUR HELP!”

You were taking a walk with Levi as one of your rituals with him since during daytime, you could hardly see each other. You both looked at Eren surprised but still walked towards him and his friends.

“Yes? What did you need me for?”

“Eren said he was better than me at hand-to-hand combat which is obviously not true.” Jean explained.

“You agree with me, right?” Eren said to you.

“Hm…” you turned to Levi expecting help, but he just had a smirk on his face, waiting for you answer too. “Well… I mean…” you paused each time a word was said, “I just want to say that I love you guys but it’s late and I’m tired,” you tried to avoid the topic of the conversation. “Levi, let’s leave the kids.”

“But m-“ Eren suddenly stopped his sentence and thought ‘wait, did I just almost called squad leader Y/N mom? Did I call her mom earlier?’

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked.

“Nothing, squad leader Y/N,” Eren insisted on these words heavily, “is right, it’s late, let’s all go to sleep.” Eren then run to his bedroom.

“Such a weirdo.” Levi stated before walking away with you.

In the middle of the night, Eren was still awake thinking about what he said. He was moving loudly, and Armin woke up very annoyed.

“Eren stop moving so energetically!”

“I’m not.” Eren mumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did I call squad leader… you know.”

“Did you do an Armin? Yes. You call her mom. Welcome to the club! Now sleep.”

 —————

-          Mikasa

Mikasa was hanging with Eren and Armin outside after dinner. Eren and Armin were frenetically about Eren’s next prank on Jean.

“You always prepare something either too dangerous or just normal dangerous. Jean could get hurt!” Armin protested.

“That’s the idea I was going for. Plus, it’s not that dangerous.”

“You want to push him off the wall!”

“Yeah, but he has his gear on and we’ll just all laugh at this anyway. Right Mikasa?” Eren asked her friend.

“Jean could die if he doesn’t use his gear.” Mikasa observed.

“He’s not that stupid.” Eren replied.

“Ask mom then and look at her being disappointed by you.” Mikasa told them.

They both turned their head towards Mikasa and glared at her, with a shocked look.

“What?”

“You just called squad leader Y/N ‘mom’” Eren burst out laughing.

“No, I didn’t. I said mom… as in…” Mikasa tried to correct herself.

“Yeah right, what other mom you possibly could be talking about?” Eren pointed out.

“It’s because you two keep calling her that! And I just forgot her name and…” Mikasa defended herself, “It’s your fault!”

“It’s fine, that makes the three of us in the club!” Armin shouted.

 —————

-          Historia

Everyone just discovered that Historia was the rightful heir to the throne, and no one knew what to do.

“Fine. Then run.” Levi said taking Historia by her blouse collar.

“Oh my, Levi!” you screamed rushing towards Historia. “Let her go!”

Levi let her go and left. You took Historia in your arms as she was ready to collapse on the ground.

“Are you okay sweetie?” you questioned her worried. She just held you close and thanked you. “Levi didn’t mean it. I’m going to ask to apologise.”

“It’s fine. He’s right. I should do something about this.” Historia waited a few minutes before saying “thanks mom,” blushing.

Everyone else wanted to throw a comment but no one dared after seeing you glaring at them. Only Armin whispered “welcome to the club” for himself.

 —————

 -          Annie

Instructor Shadis sent you a letter asking you a favour. He was feeling ill and asked you to substitute him while he recovers. You obviously agreed to it. You were surprised at how Annie was at hand-to-hand combat.

“Who taught you that?” you asked marvelled by her technique.

“My father.”

“Well good job!”

The whole time you were here you would constantly compliment her. You would really compliment everyone on their asset.

One night, Annie was outside with Reiner and Bertolt, talking together.

“I like squad leader Y/N, she is nice.” Reiner said in a moment of silence.

“Or she could just pretend to be nice so we wouldn’t try so hard when she’s here and that’s how we fail.” Annie pointed out.

“She’s not like that.” Bertolt insisted, “She seems genuinely nice. Never felt that supported in such a long time.”

“Yeah.” Reiner agreed.

Annie did not want to say it, but she agreed with them. You were always so supportive, always encouraging people do to better. Always telling them that they did a great job when they messed up. Annie wanted to add something, but she heard footsteps and she turned around ready to fight but it was only you.

“Mom! I was ready to fight you.” Annie yelled.

“What did you just call squad leader Y/N?” Reiner asked surprised.

“I– I said mam.”

“No, you said mom.” Reined laughed.

“NO! I said mam as in sir but for a woman!”

“I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright,” you admitted, “it’s late and I don’t want you guys to be tired since I know how instructor Shadis can be.”

“Instructor Shadis?” Bertolt asked.

“Yes, he’s feeling much better and he’s coming back tomorrow. I also came to say goodbye since I’m leaving tonight. I wish you luck and I know you guys are going to be amazing!” you end your little speech with a hug to each one of them. “I’ll probably see you around if you ever decide to join the survey corps.”

Annie was right, she was going to miss you.

 —————

-          Sasha

Sasha was a great kid, a great fighter but more importantly, she was a food lover. She never had enough food at lunch or dinner. She would always ask her friend for their bread or a piece of their meat when they did eat meat.

Once, Sasha was late to dinner because she had cleaning duties and she was a slow cleaner which made her late. Being late meant no food too but she still came to the kitchen hoping for leftovers – there were none. She went to the mess hall and collapse on the table. She heard a person sat down in front of her but did not move.

“You should eat Sasha.” she heard.

“No food.”

“Look up.”

She did and there was a tray with a bowl of soup that was still hot and two pieces of bread. She gasped and started to cry tears of joy.

“Thank you, mom! I was so hungry!” Sasha thanked you with her mouth full of a mix of soup and bread.

“You’re welcome, next time you can come to me and I’ll help you clean alright?” you told her.

You waited for her to be finished before going back to your bedroom. In the middle of that night, Sasha suddenly woke up, panting.

“What’s wrong?” Mikasa asked ready to fight an intruder.

“Nooo. I’m in the club now too.” Sasha realised.

“What? You called squad leader Y/N mom too?” Mikasa joked.

“Yeah…”

 —————

 -          Jean

Jean had cleaning duties in the equipment area. He and Connie were talking and being careless as usual when they were cleaning. So careless that Jean somehow caused a shelf full of heavy books to fall on his leg.

When Connie explained to you what happened you rushed to where Jean was. You and Connie helped Jean out and took him to the infirmary. Jean was now on bed rest for at least a week since he could not move his right leg anymore.

“How am I going to live now?” Jean complained after hearing the news.

“I’m taking care of you until further notice.” you reassured him.

Levi decided that Jean would still be attending training even if that meant only watching. After two weeks, Jean was still hurt – according to him anyway. Which the nurse found weird because that type of injury did not last long if he was resting correctly which is something you made sur of. Levi told you that it was suspicious, but you believed Jean.

“Your love for this kid is making you blind! Jean is obviously fine now!” Levi told you desperately every night.

“He’ll get better, if he’s still hurt and he goes back training then he might not be able to fight at all.” you explained.

You should have believed Levi because one day, you were stuck in a meeting with Commander Erwin which meant you couldn’t stay with the cadets training. Thankfully, the meeting ended sooner than you thought so you went to see the kids, only to find Jean perfectly healthy, on his feet, fighting Eren.

“JEAN KIRSTEIN YOU SON OF A B–“ you yelled.

“NO!” Jean screamed collapsing to the ground dramatically, “It’s not what you think mom! NO!” Jean put his hands on his mouth.

“Oouh Jean called squad leader Y/N ‘mom’” Eren chanted.

“Now that they almost all called you mom,” Hange stated coming out of nowhere, “does that mean Levi is their daddy?”

 —————

-          That one-time Jean called Captain Levi ‘dad’

It was during one of the expeditions outside. You brought tents and prepared them but none of you wanted to sleep yet. You built a fire, and all sat around it. The cadets took turn telling horror stories and once Jean was done, you all applauded him.

“That was great.” Levi complimented him.

“Thanks, daaa–ptain!” Jean corrected himself hallway through his sentence.

Everyone burst out laughing and Jean was blushing hard, while Levi was only smirking drinking his tea.

“Jean, it’s official, you’re their kid now.” Hange kept laughing.

“I’m so embarrassed.” Jean grunted, “I’m sorry d– captain! What is wrong with me!”  

 —————

From then on, they wouldn’t even hide the fact that they all called you mom from time to time. At one point, new recruits thought that it was you name so some of them would call you “squad leader mom”.

MASTERLIST

[cafedanslanuit]

♡   —   pairing: eren x reader

♡   —   tags/warnings: mentions of cheating and alcohol. side aruani and yumihisu. honestly just a feel-good fic, with humour and fluff <3

♡   —   a/n:  honestly, this is the most “romantic comedy” fic i’ve ever written and i love it <3 shout out to @ofoceansandtombstones​ that beta read this one mwah thank u

♡   —   masterlist

There was an ill taste in your mouth that wouldn’t go away, no matter how many drinks you had. And you already had more than a few. From your spot on the table, you could see your friends dancing and having the time of their lives. You really wished you could join them. Nevertheless, you had wasted all your energy forcing a smile and clapping along during the ceremony. Once you had arrived at the hotel reception with the rest of the guests, you had slid a bill to a kind waitress and told her to keep the drinks coming. 

Ymir and Historia were dancing in front of you. Stoic, sour-faced Ymir couldn’t help but smile as her sweet girlfriend twirled and giggled, her cheeks red and eyes just the tiniest bit unfocused. Next to them, Sasha, Jean and Connie were owning the dance floor, moving in sync to the happy music. A grin formed on your face as you saw Connie lifting Sasha up and her almost falling to the floor. Jean was holding his stomach as he laughed loudly.

On a nearby table, Mikasa looked over at them, a small smile on his lips. She was sitting next to her girlfriend, who was holding her hand as they watched their friends dance. You saw her girlfriend leaning over to her and whispering something in her ear, to which she chuckled. It was so strange -and so beautiful- to see Mikasa laugh that it took you aback. And apparently, also the girl she was with, because her lips slightly parted as she watched her in awe.

“How’s the party animal doing?”

You looked up and saw Eren staring down at you with a funny expression. He was wearing black dress pants and a white shirt. The first two buttons were undone, and he was carrying his suit jacket over his shoulder and a beer on his other hand.

“Someone’s gotta keep an eye out for everyone,” you replied with a shrug. Eren scoffed and took the seat next to you on the empty table, leaving his jacket on the nearest chair.

“I mean, I know attending your ex’s wedding isn’t bound to be a good time, but you’d think you would try to put on a happy face.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hey, at least I’m here.”

“After Mikasa tried her best to convince you during a whole week,” he said. You turned your head to Eren, eyes wide open. “What? Of course she told me.”

“That little… That’s it, I’m going to tell her girlfriend about that one time Mikasa got drunk with us,” you muttered angrily, standing up. Eren was quicker and pulled you back to your seat.

“You and Armin broke up a year ago. Why are you so upset he’s moving on?”

Before you could answer, the music stopped and the dance floor erupted in applause. Eren and you watched as Armin and Annie walked in between their guests, greeting everyone as they made their way to the bride and groom table, covered with a pearl cloth and decorated with the finest flowers. Every detail screamed elegance and you knew Armin had been the one to decide most of it. It had his taste written in every napkin and strategically placed flower.

Armin’s smile was almost too big for his face and if you had to guess, those small red marks on the external corner of his eyes meant he had been crying just a few minutes ago. You rolled your eyes. So sentimental. On the other hand, Annie’s smile was far less noticeable, but for someone who always repressed her public displays of emotions as much, that little smile must have felt heavenly to her new husband.

Husband. You took a big gulp of your drink.

“I’m telling you this because I care for you,” Eren said, redirecting your attention to him. “You’re looking like a petty ex.”

“Rather be petty than a cheater,” you shrugged, finishing your drink. You gestured to the waitress and she immediately walked to you, handing you a full glass. Thanking her, you wasted no time in taking a sip.

Eren’s eyebrows were deeply furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Armin never told you why we broke up, right?”

Eren scooted his chair closer to you and you bit back a laugh.

“He said you just weren’t good together,” he said, trying to remember his friend’s words. “And you said something similar when I asked you back then. Where does this ‘cheating’ thing come from?”

You let out a long sigh. “Maybe it wasn’t cheating. Not by definition, at least. But when your boyfriend starts dating someone else a week after you broke up a two-year-long relationship and he gets engaged four months later… you draw your own conclusions,” you explained, taking another sip of your drink and making a grimace. “Fuck, this one’s strong.”

After not getting a response from Eren for a long moment, you finally turned to look for his emerald eyes. You could almost see the numbers flying around his mind, trying to make sense of everything you had just told him. It was endearing.

“Wait, no-- wait,” Eren gestured at you with his hand. He stopped himself again and took a sip of his beer. “The first time Armin told me about Annie was in February. I remember it clearly. We were shopping for Mikasa’s birthday gift and then he went to pick something for Annie. And you guys broke up around Halloween, that’s the time I found you crying-- in Jean's backyard during our costume party.”

“We had a big fight at that party. We hadn’t broken up,” you clarified with a smirk. “He broke up with me after Mikasa’s birthday party. The same party he convinced me not to attend.”

Eren’s face dropped once all the pieces clicked together. He turned his body to look at the bride and groom table, where Armin and Annie were taking a sip of their champagne glasses and talking to each other enthusiastically, while the rest of their guests kept dancing.

“That son of a bitch,” he breathed out. You burst out laughing at his reaction. “No, I mean it! I really thought you had broken up during that Halloween party! You didn’t upload any more photos together, I don’t even remember even seeing you together--”

“I told you, we were fighting and… not in the mood for photos or public dates. Most of those months were spent at his apartment, fighting over really, really stupid things or just not texting each other for days,” you explained. “Honestly, when he broke up with me he made the decision I was too afraid to take. He was right, we weren’t good for each other anymore. But... fuck,” you chuckled icily. “I wish he would have broken up with me before getting with Annie.”

Eren listened in silence, his eyes still on his friend. You gave him time as you kept drinking, your gaze drifting to your friends again. You really wished you could have the energy to join them and forget Armin and Annie. It was true you didn’t love him anymore, yet seeing them together only made you remember how you had been fooled by someone you thought loved you the most.

You had had many dates ever since, but no one ever stuck. It was fun, getting someone’s attention for a couple of weeks, but then you couldn’t help but ghost them, putting up shitty excuses like wanting to focus on yourself and not having enough time to spare with them. You had lost so many amazing opportunities with both boys and girls that a couple of months ago you had decided to stop dating at all. It was lonely for sure, but at least you didn’t find yourself feeling guilty for not being able to open yourself up emotionally for someone else.

“Want to get back at him?”

You turned to Eren so fast you almost hurt your neck.

“What?”

“I have an idea. Just play along,” he explained, standing up.

“Eren, hey, what are you--”

“Everybody! If you could give me a minute please!”

You watched horrified as your friends started turning to you and Eren, confused at the commotion. Eren kept waving his hand, gathering more and more people’s attention, Armin and Annie included. He even gestured to the DJ to lower the music and she complied. In a few seconds, all the guests of the party were looking at you, who was still sitting down with a confused expression, a drink in your hand. Once he deemed enough people were looking at him, you saw him fumbling with his hands nervously.

“Eren,” you called for him again in a whisper, but all he did was take the drink you had in your hands and put it on the table.

“Sorry for interrupting, I know a lot of you were having a lot of fun dancing. But all I’m asking is one minute of your time. I hope that’s okay with you guys,” he grinned back to the bride and groom table, where they were as confused as all the guests around. “I have something really important to say.”

“Eren, no, you can’t tell them about--”

“No, no, give me a moment,” he hushed you again. The DJ walked to both of you and handed an inalambric microphone to Eren.

You didn’t like how devilish his smile turned.

“Great, thanks, this is much better,” he told the DJ, who just kindly smiled at him. “Anyway, I don’t want to take much of the bride and groom’s time, so I’ll try to be concise. The thing is…” he said, turning to face you. “I love you.”

Your mouth flew open as you heard multiple gasps coming from the guests. Yet, you couldn’t bother with looking anywhere but Eren’s eyes. What was he doing? Since when did he have feelings for you? If he wanted to say something, he could have easily said something a few minutes ago, when--

Just play along.

Oh.

Your questioning glare turned into a big smile and you noticed Eren softly nodding at you.

“You already know how much I love you. Honestly, I never get tired of telling you so. And hiding our love from our friends has probably been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Sorry about that, Mikasa,” he said, gesturing to the woman.

You could imagine your friend’s dumbfounded face, but you knew better than to turn and check for yourself. You knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your laughter.

“So I’m here in front of all our friends and some other guests I don’t know to ask a simple question.”

In a swift movement, Eren got down on one knee. Your hand flew to cover your mouth, trying your best to hide any trace of laughing on your face. The flash of the cameras startled you for a moment, but that only meant Eren’s plan was working. The excited murmurs and squeals only fueled Eren, as he pulled up a ring and showed it to you. You immediately recognized it as one of the rings he had been wearing a few moments ago. 

“Would you marry me?”

A huge, honest grin made its way to your face and you nodded quickly. You grabbed the microphone Eren was holding and spoke right into it.

“Yes, I’ll marry you!”

You hadn’t listened to a crowd erupting in applause and cheers as loud as the guests at Armin’s wedding when Eren slid his ring on your finger. Once again, the flash of the cameras were right into the both of you as you leaped into his arms. He stood up while holding your body close to him, even giving you a small spin and you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

When he finally put you down, the music resumed and all your friends began running to the both of you.

“You’re fucking crazy,” you whispered to Eren, holding his face between your hands. He laughed.

“Kinda ruined the reception, huh?”

“When the fuck did this happen?” Jean inquired as soon as he reached you.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell us?” Sasha whined, with a small pout. “But congratulations!” she quickly followed, hugging you tightly. As you hugged her back, you felt someone taking the hand that was now wearing Eren’s ring.

“This is one of your rings,” she noted, shooting Eren a dirty glance. He lifted his hands in surrender.

“Hey, I didn’t plan this! But I will get her a prettier one soon,” he said, winking at you. You laughed and shook your head.

“Nah, I like this one,” you replied. You shared a knowing grin and soon it was Connie’s turn to hug you.

While you were hugging your friend back, you saw in the corner of your eye Armin getting up from the table and starting to walk to both of you. Your smile immediately vanished from your face and once Eren caught it and followed your eye trail, he understood the reason why. You heard him mutter a curse before he pulled you from Connie’s embrace.

“Well, we’d love to stay, but my fiancée and I want some time alone.”

“C’mon, you haven’t told us yet how you got together!” Sasha complained.

“Next time, we promise,” you hurriedly assured her.

Eren picked his suit jacket from the table and before Armin could reach your group, you quickly walked away, exiting the hotel. Eren whistled to a taxi and you jumped inside, telling the man behind the wheel to drive. Loud laughter filled the vehicle as soon as it began moving.

“How-- how did you even have this idea?” you asked him, holding your stomach as you laughed. “Dude, Armin looked so upset, we totally stole his thunder.”

“That was the plan,” Eren shrugged, a winning smirk on his lips. “Knowing the gang, everybody’s going to be talking about us and the engagement for the rest of the party.”

“Remind me to never have you as an enemy,” you chuckled, leaning back on the car seat. Letting out a long sigh, you took off Eren’s ring and handed it to him.

He shook his head. “Nah, keep it. As a souvenir of today,” he winked.

“Thank you,” you smiled. You put the ring on your thumb this time, since it was too big for your ring finger anyway. “You didn’t have to do this at all, and yet--”

“It’s okay,” he assured you.

“No, really. It’s just-- I’ve been having a tough time since the breakup,” you admitted. “To have you doing this for me means a lot. Makes me feel someone really cares for me. I never said anything to anyone back then because Annie is also a part of the group and I thought…”

Eren leaned his head towards you.

“You thought…?”

“I thought you would pick her too. It’s stupid, I know,” you shrugged, turning your head to Eren. “But Armin had just broken up with me and a week later he was already in public with Annie. Back then, I thought everyone knew we had just broken up and if no one had said anything was because they didn’t care. So I just… stopped hanging out with all of you as much as I did before.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” he muttered.

“You did?”

Eren nodded. “That’s why I asked Mikasa to pressure you into coming to the wedding. I hadn’t seen you in a while.”

“You could have just asked me to hang out, you know,” you teased him. Eren chuckled, pushing some of his loose hairs behind his ear.

“I think we know by now I don’t take the conventional route.”

“Yeah, all of the guests know that too,” you quipped, making both of you laugh.

This time, when the laughter came to an end, you realized how close your faces were. Your noses were almost brushing as you both were lying your heads on the back of the car seat. You looked into Eren’s emerald eyes and noticed he wasn’t looking away from yours either. Was it the alcohol that made his cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink? If it was, then you could say the warmth crawling up your face was its fault too. It had to be the alcohol, or else, you would have to also ponder about the reason your heart was beating out of your chest at having your friend so close to you. He was handsome, he had always been and you knew this. But why were you losing all your composure just now?

A brief look at Eren's lips gave your thoughts away and, in less than two seconds, he was pressing his lips against yours.

For a spur-of-the-moment kiss, as you thought this one was, it was rather soft. Eren kissed you as if he thought you were the most expensive and fragile thing he had ever seen. But of course, this was just a product of the adrenaline and the fact that -as far as you knew- he hadn’t been dating anyone as well, right?

Your small theory crashed and burnt when you felt his hand softly cradling the side of your face. No. This wasn’t an adrenaline kiss, neither one that you gave without a thought. Maybe it had been unprompted and maybe you hadn’t seen it coming, but it sure as hell seemed he did. Eren’s lips gilded against your with ease, revealing a soft tenderness you didn’t know he possessed. You kissed him back, matching his rhythm as you softly pressed your hand against his chest.

Eren pulled away from you softly, and if his longing eyes were any indicator, a bit reluctantly.

“Hi,” he breathed out, making you grin widely.

“Hi,” you replied. You gently caressed his cheek with the knuckles of the hand that was previously resting on his chest. Eren took it and kissed your palm, making your heart flutter.

“Sorry to interrupt kids, but where are we heading?”

The voice of the taxi driver startled you, making you pull away from Eren. He chuckled at your reaction and then looked back at the man.

“Take us to that pizza place near the central park. Gotta have a celebratory dinner with my fiancée,” he said cheekily, taking your hand into his. You squeezed his hand back, his ring digging a little on your skin.

“So young and engaged already? Congrats!” the driver said, turning left and heading towards the direction Eren had given him.

“Thank you!” you smiled brightly at Eren while he took your joint hands to his mouth and placed a kiss on your knuckles.

A part of you knew you weren’t taking that ring off anytime soon.