#i guess this is a writer's blog now? maybe?
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chupacabren · 2 years ago
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sometimes repeating the actions of your forefathers does not limit one to the same outcomes. maybe given the chance your circumstances, while similar, become a new cycle. oftentimes, you aren’t given a choice. it’s time to learn to play the cards you are dealt with
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movedtodykedvonte · 1 year ago
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Will the Addison/spamton posts ever come back?
Yeah I am gesturing vaguely
To be fair the first like arch was completed with the last chapter and I know more is gonna happen and like be going on so I’m like in no hurry. Since I’m gonna devote major time to it when it does eventually happen. Though I know it’s a little upsetting for yall.
Maybe I’ll listen to my voice claims for them and look through notes to get back into UTDR faster but ive been in this weird slump due to work and school.
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ohjoelmiller · 2 years ago
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joel miller fic recs vol. 2 ✯
⇾ 18+ minors dni, read at your own risk! ⇽
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happy reading and enjoy! thank u writers we ❥ u!
previous ⇾ vol. 1
series ✰
come home — by @imtryingmybeskar
the hawk and the canary — by @dino-fart
confused warmth — by @rise-my-angel
daughter’s best friend — by @coolgrl111
texas sun — by @from-the-clouds
my bestfriend — by @mannaima
mrs. miller — by @fantasyqueen502
the stable girl — by @guess-my-next-obsession
fallacy: reject me, i get it— by @cherry-clafoutis
the beginning of us — by @companionjones
one-shots ☆
i’m right here — by @orangevtae
morning, darlin’ — by @mandoalorian
dinner date — by @juletheghoul
running free — by @aphroditesmoon
lucky & pt.2 — by cherry-clafoutis
not a thing — by @cevansgoatee
for you, anything — by @mellowsaturns
say you love me — by @thot-of-khonshu
i won’t let go — by @youlightmeupfinn
untitled — by @forever-rogue
fears — by @nonexistent-introvert
blushing — by @talaok
warmth — by youlightmeupfinn
what comes after — by @jobean12-blog
gift (giving) — by @inklore
maybe now — by @supernaturalgirl20
tricks of the trade — by @mypoisonedvine
connected together — by @flightlessangelwings
these burdens we carry — by @thedgeoftheuniverse
if he wanted to — by @sl-ut
in the dead of night — by @egcdeath
love in the time of cordyceps — by @sameheart-sameblood
from eden — by @nexusnyx
religion's in your lips — by @millersdjarin
safe and sound — by @disturbedbeautywrites
it's chemical that make me cling to you — by @cockslutpadalecki
perilous companion — by rise-my-angel
short days, long nights — by @frannyzooey
us against the world — by @ynscrazylife
after the end of the world — by @narcosfanficworld-blog
gone soft — by @blathannabeaga
weakness — by @cevansgoatee
the price of a life — by @criticallyacclaimedstranger
a way to quiet the mind — by @inlovewithquestionablecharacters
seeing joel again — by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
late spring — by @heartpascal
save a horse, ride a cowboy — by @mandoalorian
the gold — by heartpascal
i never stopped loving you — by @musings-of-a-rose
never enough — by @joels6string
mini pedro pascal fic rec list ✫
the seat filler — by @whiskeyncoke-redux
(series) wildest dreams — by @i-magines
sunflower — by @writersblog20
strawberries & champagne — by youlightmeupfinn
papi — by @missbabyjay
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just-a-girl-who-wrytes · 1 year ago
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Omg I just accidently found your blog and I'm so freaking happy, cause there are not enough writer who writes for Deacon 😭 unfortunately I'm super obsessed with him, with an unhealthy amount of fic ideas in my brain xD so I give it a try and send you one of those, hopefully jot annoying you with this (or with my shitty English, it's not my first language, so I'm sorry).
Well buckle up for my request:
Reader is a new Swat member and instantly everybody loves her, with her bubbly friendly self. She's bonding great with her teammates and especially her and Deacon grow super close (they develop feelings for each other but don't want to tell the each other afraid to ruin their friendship, so their feelings stay hidden). When one day a case goes sideways and it leaves her injured (maybe a concussion or something like that) Deacon blames himself for her injury and the next days he distances himself from her, cause he thinks that it is unhealthy for him to have such deep feelings for her and him constantly worrying for her wellbeing. She notices his change of behavior and she's super sad. He starts to being unfriendly to her and being a little bit of an ass?! Even alerting the other members with his behavior. The whole situation is taking a toll on her and she is starting to effecting not only her poor heart but also her health. (so maybe she falls sick, but keep it from her teammates especially Deacon, cause she thinks that after her injury during a case he thinks of her as not capable or something like that). That is until one day she doesn't show up to work which very uncommon for her, cause she's always on time and the first one at the station. They're all worrried and Hondo tells Deacon that he has to drive to her apartment. Well he tries to refuse and send Stress but Hondo insists, so Deacon drives to her apartment. He finds her suffering from a very high fever..... So maybe with a happy ending like Deacon regrets his shitty behavior, she instantly cries when she recognizes him in her feverish state, asking him why he hates her suddenly, which is now breaking his heart. He cares for her and nurses her back to health, or at first tries to bring her fever down. Later he confesses why he was an asshole.
Soooorry it's so long. There's so pressure for you to write this. Maybe you just want to use some ideas? Well I would be so happy.
Please take care lovely
Here you go, hope you enjoy!
“Nice!” Luca exclaimed as the team watched you send rounds down range from your firearm.
With the increase in officer related shootings, LAPD had decided to provide each team a SWAT medic and you were the newest member of 20 squad. 
“Who knew girls can shoot?” You heard Deacon asked. You turned to playfully scowl at him and noticed him wink at you. 
“Better watch it, Kay, or I’ll show you just how good I really am.” 
You had been a part of the team for just over two months and they were the best guys you had ever worked with in your career. You truly became a part of their family – you had their backs and they had yours. There was one that was different though. 
David Kay. 
You had noticed him watching you on more than one occasion, stealing winks from you, sharing small, flirtatious smiles. You weren’t sure if your attraction to him was mutual or not, but if you had to guess, you would say yes. However, you didn’t want to complicate anything by dating one of your teammates and you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had developed with Deacon. You assumed Deacon adopted the same mindset because he never brought it up either. 
However, that didn’t mean your flirting with each other fell on blind eyes. 
The entire team noticed it and often gave you both shit over it. 
You both were in the middle of denying another teasing round of friends with benefits accusations from your teammates when you were dispatched to a school shooting. 
The mood immediately sobered up as all of you put on your gear and grabbed your bags and firearms. The ride to the school in Black Betty was quiet minus updates from Hondo. 
“Stay liquid, guys,” He told the team as you pulled up on scene. 
There were multiple reports of injured children inside of the school. 
This call was all yours. 
It was going to be your job to go inside and assess each injured child to see how critically injured they were. It was your team’s job to protect you while you did that. You were going in without any knowledge of where the shooter was, but you knew if you had children, you would want someone to go in and save your baby. You swallowed your fear and prepared to do your job. 
You got out of the armored truck and took your spot in the middle of your team. You slowed your breathing down to get your heart rate under control and keep your emotions in check. 
Deacon made sure that he stayed close to you as you entered the school. He knew his teammates would have your back too, but he felt… differently about you. He cared about you a lot. He had quickly fallen for your smile and your personality. You didn’t let the team’s banter intimidate you one bit from the start. You were quick and witty with your playfulness with them. You were smart as hell when it came to medicine and you had proven to be a solid member of the SWAT team in training exercises and on calls you had run together. He wanted so badly to ask you out to dinner, but he wasn’t willing to change the dynamic of the team by adding a relationship to the mix. However, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be protective over you – whether you noticed it or not. 
That was why Deacon had taken it so personally when you were knelt down, applying a tourniquet to a fourth-grade student’s leg and got shot by the hidden gunman. His team covered him while he immediately turned to you to make sure you were okay. The round had struck your vest, but you knew it had broken ribs. The pain you felt in your side was unmistakable. Regardless, you threw your body over the child’s to protect her from the gunfire that ensued. Deacon and Luca dragged you both behind a desk behind a wall in a classroom. 
“Are you okay?” Deacon asked without taking his aim from the door way. 
“We’ve got to get her out of here.” You ignored his question as you continued to try and stop the little girl’s bleeding. 
Your voice was forced and you were breathy. 
“I asked if you were okay,” Deacon said angrily. 
“I’m fine.” You retorted. 
You soon heard Tan’s voice over the radio that the shooter had been neutralized. You didn’t know if there was more than one shooter, but didn’t see any signs of one so far. When you got the clear from Hondo, you radioed for another team to come in and get the girl out and get her to a hospital. Once she was safely removed, you resumed your formation in the middle of the team to continue to clear the school building. Deacon could tell you were injured because you didn’t shoulder your firearm correctly, but he didn’t see any blood so he let it go. He was pissed off at you for not stopping and going to get help yourself, but he was even more pissed off at himself for not seeing the gunman before he shot at you. 
It took two hours to clear the rest of the school and stabilize the remaining children. By the time you were done, you were visibly diaphoretic and short of breath. You could hardly manage three words without stopping to catch your breath. 
“20-David to command,” Deacon radioed, “We need an EMS unit to our location, we have a team member who needs to be checked out.” 
You were in pain, you couldn’t breathe, and you were pissed off that Deacon asked for EMS without consulting you first. 
“Why did you do that?!” You managed to asked through clenched teeth. “These children need those paramedics.” You took a few shallow breaths, “Not me! Cancel. Them.” 
If looks could kill, your sergeant would be the one who needed a medic unit, not you.
“Officer,” Deacon said sternly, “You look like hell and you cannot breathe.”
You started to open your mouth to cut him off, but he started speaking loudly again.
“Now, I suggest you shut up and listen to your sergeant. I am not the one who takes orders from you.” 
His harsh words hit you harder than the bullet hit your ballistic vest and left you just as speechless. David had never been so disrespectful to you. If the paramedics hadn’t arrived to assess you, you would have turned in your badge right there. You knew the rest of the team had noticed as well because they were all silent which pissed you off even more. Where was your support?
The paramedics tried helping you onto the stretcher, but you refused it. Despite not being able to speak for being short of breath. You held onto the stretcher for support and walked to the ambulance. By the time you finally made it outside to the ambulance, you were physically unable to get into the ambulance because you were hurting so bad and so short of breath. The EMS providers finally convinced you to get onto the stretcher and they were able to load you into the truck. 
When you arrived to the ER, you were taken to a trauma room due to the fact that you had technically been shot. Your chest x-ray revealed a collapsed lung due to the broken ribs. 
The rest of the team finished debriefing before being cleared to leave for the day. Hondo met Deacon in the quiet locker rooms since most of everyone else had already left. 
“Deac…” Hondo paused, knowing he needed to tread carefully, “What was up back at the school? I have never heard you speak to anyone like that – especially one of our teammates.” 
Deacon slammed his locker shut. 
“Hondo, now ain’t the time, brother.”
The lieutenant raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, I won’t press, but I do ask that you consider an apology. It was unwarranted today. We all performed immaculately given the circumstances.”
“No, Hondo. No. We did not all perform immaculately.” His tone was biting. 
Deacon walked passed Hondo and left the locker rooms. He left the station and threw his duffel bag in the backseat of his truck. He climbed in, started it, and drove to a nearby lake that off the road and would likely be deserted after dark on a week night. He parked in the dark and slammed his fists against the steering wheel in frustration. 
Tears filled his eyes as he mentally kicked himself in the ass for missing the shooter that injured you today. He didn’t fight the tears as they spilled down his cheeks. What had gotten into him? Why were you different? Why was he so upset? Why did you getting injured bother him so badly? You were okay and you were expected to make a full recovery according to Hicks. Where along the line had he developed feelings and why was he so afraid of talking to you about them?
You spent 6 days in the hospital, 4 of those with a chest tube before being discharged home. During your entire hospital stay, Deacon had not been by to see you once despite daily visits from the rest of your teammates. It made you mad, but most of all, it hurt your feelings. You really liked you sergeant – or you thought that you did. His actions since you had been injured spoke louder than any words that could have been said. 
Luca and Chris were there to take you home and help you get settled. They carried your bags in and Chris helped you unpack your things while Luca cooked supper for the three of you. Chris helped you remove your bra so you could put on a loose, comfy t-shirt. Being the only females on the squad left you two comfortable around each other. 
“That is one hell of a bruise, babe.” She said as she looked at your black and purple side. 
You had to agree – the entire left side of your torso was bruised. It looked awful. Thankfully, the doctors had been able to help manage your pain with narcotics. 
“I’m glad it finally looks worse than it feels… Which is saying a lot because it still hurts like hell.” 
You slipped on a pair of sleep shorts and made your way back into your kitchen with Chris. 
You took a pain pill and joined your teammates in your living room to eat the spaghetti that Luca made. 
“Thank you so much for taking care of me guys,” You said several hours later as you walked Luca and Chris to your door. 
“That’s what we’re here for, love,” Luca said, pulling you into a gentle hug. 
You kissed his cheek, “Supper was delicious, Dom. Thank you times a million.” 
He returned the kiss to your cheek and Chris pulled you in for a hug. 
“Call us if you need anything?” 
You smiled at her after the hug, “You know I will.” 
You settled onto your couch with a glass of wine. You knew the alcohol and narcotic wasn’t the smartest elixir, however, you needed to mask more than your physical pain. 
You couldn’t get Deacon off your mind and your heart had yet to stop hurting. Your emotional pain screamed much louder than your physical pain. 
“Dammit!” You heard through clouded consciousness. “What the fuck?” 
You felt yourself being picked up and carried to your bed. You recognized a familiar cologne but quickly disregarded the scent and winced at the pain in your ribs before drifting back off to sleep. 
You woke up the next morning nearly in tears again as you entered a coughing spell. You managed to get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen where your pain pills were, but you were scared shitless by a man sitting at your kitchen table. As soon as your heart began racing with fear, the fear subsided, realizing that it was Deacon sitting inside of your home. 
“Jesus Christ! What the fuck, David?” You held your chest with one hand and braced your broken ribs with the other. 
He didn’t answer you. 
You ignored his silence and took your morning pain medication. 
“Ya know… I said the same thing last night when I came over and found you unconscious on your couch. So, I can also say, what the fuck? What were you thinking?” Deacon’s voice grew steadily louder as he stood up and turned to you. “Pain pills and alcohol?”
You were angry. “Something to make this shit stop hurting,” You spat as you snatched up the side of your shirt to reveal your black and blue torso. 
You could tell the extent of your injuries caught Deacon off guard. His facial expression softened and he didn’t respond. 
You let go of your shirt, letting it fall back down to your waist and continued fixing yourself a glass of water to take your pain pill with. You took your medicine and continued to ignore your sergeant as you turned your back to him to get the milk out of your refrigerator to fix yourself a bowl of cereal. His hand stopped yours mid-air reaching for your cabinet. He gently held your wrist with one hand and you felt the edge of your shirt being lifted again. He let go of your hand, staring at the bruising that covered you. You could sense his demeanor soften. 
There was a long silence as he took in your injuries. 
“I’m so sorry…” He whispered. 
The tone in his voice felt like a hug to your soul. 
“Deacon-” You turned around to face him. 
“No, listen to me,” he interrupted you. “This…” He grazed his fingertip down your side, “is all my fault.”
The confusion was written all over your face. 
“I should have seen that bastard before he ever had a chance at you.” 
You began shaking your head but you weren’t quite sure what to say. 
“You’ve been an asshole to me ever since it happened, David, what the hell has changed now?” You were beginning to grow angry again. 
“Look, I am so, so sorry.” His voice was gentle. “I should have stopped that guy before he shot you. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did. I should have visited you in the hospital. You are a teammate and I failed you, but I really should have told you from the get-go that I have developed feelings for you.” He didn’t take a breath the entire time he spoke so you struggled to follow him, but his last sentence hit you like a ton of bricks. 
“Excuse me?” 
“Ever since you have been on the team with us, you have become more than just a teammate to me. Truthfully, I have liked you from the day that I met you and my attraction to you has only grown every single day. I like you so much more than just as a teammate. I would dare say that I am falling in love with you.” He slowly reached up to cradle your face with his hand, hesitant, wondering if you would allow him to touch you. 
You did. 
“I am so, so sorry that I have treated you so poorly this week – so wrong. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that I hate myself for not being able to protect you like I should have. I’ve been so afraid to let you know how I feel about you. I’m sorry I was more afraid of affecting the team than I was giving you the honesty that you deserve. Please, please forgive me.” 
He looked into your eyes as he nervously chewed on his bottom lip. 
“Deacon…” You said quietly, leaning into his hand caressing your jaw. 
He took a deep breath and continued, “If you don’t feel the same way, I understand, but I came over here last night to apologize and tell you all of this. When I found you passed out on the couch, barely responsive, it frustrated me. So, I stayed here last night to make sure you were okay. Please don’t be mad.” 
Silence fell between you while you considered how to respond. Given the emotions that you had worked through over the past week, going from feelings for your partner, to physical and emotional hurt, to anger towards David for not visiting, texting or calling, resentment towards yourself for having feelings towards David despite how cruel he had been to you with his absence while you had been hospitalized, you struggled to find any words.
Deacon watched you suffer through a week’s worth of feelings as he watched your eyes. You took a deep breath. 
He decided that you were taken too long to respond and if he didn’t act now, he never would. 
He leaned down and softly pressed his lips on yours. 
You instinctively closed your eyes and allowed David to kiss you. When you didn’t pull away, he parted his lips just enough to run his tongue tenderly along your bottom lip. You opened your lips, allowing him to kiss you deeper. You began to return the kiss when David went to place his hands on your waist, forgetting about your injuries. You stopped kissing him and winced. 
“God, I’m so sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay.” You whispered, your voice shaky. 
Deacon noticed the tears that trickled down your cheeks. 
He wiped them away with his thumbs and began apologizing to you again. 
You interrupted him with another kiss. You reached up and intertwined your fingers behind his head, softly rubbing his neck with your fingertips. He moaned quietly into the kiss. He grabbed your arm and squeezed it, needing to touch you, but being mindful of your injuries. You enjoyed the feeling of his tall, muscular body, towering over yours. You felt protected. 
“Deacon?” 
He pressed his forehead to yours, brushing a stand of hair behind your ear, “Mmhmm?”
“I love you.” 
"I love you too."
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nightangle9 · 1 year ago
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hii! I just found out about your blog, and you do write about Johan (monster), so could you do a smut fic about him and f!reader
thank you!!
~Foreordain~ (Part-1)
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Johan Liebert x Inexperienced! fem reader
Genre: Oneshot Series & Smut
Warning: manipulation, very toxic behaviour, sexual content, dirty talk, fingering
Word Count: 2.3k
Writer's Note: Sorry this took so long ᴖ̈
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Wisterias burn around you as you look at the man in front of you. What… could have let for this to happen. Hearts connected to stow are now shattered with just one go. Mind hypnotized by the monster, the demon, the ferocity. You still longed for him, after all that...you still did. You loved him, you really did. But this was meant to happen from the moment you saw him, your fate was decided. It was Foreordain.
~10 MONTHS BEFORE~
You despised monsoons. Insects, dirt, mud, everything. Other than one thing. The smell. The smell of monsoon was like a drug to you. Every time it filled your nostrils, it gave you a feeling of Euphoria. Nothing could’ve matched that smell until you walked past him.
Light blonde hair, pale skin, and handsome features glistened with the dawn of the day. He simply looked so…angelic. So, you stopped, stopped in your tracks, and just looked at him. How seraphic, you thought. Then he turned and looked at you. Just when you thought that he couldn’t get even more beautiful. You saw his blue eyes. Those ethereal and divine blue eyes. And they looked at you. But…something about those eyes scared you just as much as they attracted you. They just looked so…lifeless.
“Is there something wrong, miss?” he spoke, his voice so soft and gentle. And you blushed, of course you did. “N-no, I-it’s nothing!” You spoke in a flustered tone, still lost for words. He came closer to you, only a few inches between. His smell. Oh, he smelt so good…so damn intoxicating.
“Then why is that, you’re so flustered, miss?” he spoke in that soft voice of his, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Blue eyes scrutinizing your face. Looking for something…anything. And just for a mere second, you swear your life. He smirked. It was slight, only appearing for a second. But it made your heart stop beating for a moment.
He pulled out a pen from the breast pocket of his coat and then gently took hold of your hand. “May I?” he whispered. The question was so simple but you were too hypnotized by his charm to reply, so you just nodded.
He wrote his number on the palm of your hand, his movements smooth. There was no hesitation or awkwardness. He was just so effortless even with these simple gestures, that it was alluring to just observe and look at him.
“What is your name, miss?” he whispered in your ear, leaning closer. Blushing profusely, you could only answer him in a breathy voice, saying your name. “W-what about you, what is it…w-what is your name?” you spoke quietly. And you notice, how his eyes darkened at your simple question. But it quickly vanished, and he smiled at you, so soft and gentle. “Liebert…Johan Liebert.” How tempting.
~AT NIGHT~
Later that night, you called him. “H-hello?” you spoke in a questioning manner, even though you knew who was on the other end. “Good evening, Miss Y/N. Missing me already now, are you?” He spoke from the other side of the call. His voice like always, so soft and sweet. Your breath hitched at the question, gulping, you spoke. “I guess so. S-so what about tomorrow…are you free tomorrow evening?” you asked biting your lip slightly in nervousness. You heard Johan chuckle through the phone. Then he spoke, his voice was normal but still…you felt it. That slight seductiveness. “Why...you want to ask me out on a date?” you felt your cheeks blush at his tone and question, but you quickly replied. Trying to maintain your composure. “M-maybe, I do.” Then he spoke again, his voice even more seductive and tempting. “Oh, is that so? Well, I certainly wouldn’t mind going on a date with a lady as beautiful as you. So how about you be the boss, and decide the time and I’ll take the honor of assisting and taking you to a nice place.” Goodness, this guy knew exactly how to raise your heartbeat. “Y-yeah, sure…sure. How about tomorrow evening at 7 pm?” you asked, crossing your fingers in hope. “Sounds good to me…You can send me your address. So, I’ll be able to pick you up from your house.” He said sweetly.  “P-pick?! I can come by myself.” You spoke, surprised at his request. Nobody has ever picked you from your house, its not exactly safe to tell people your address. It seemed almost…suspicious.
“I don’t think so…a woman like you deserves nothing below the utmost treatment. It would be an insult to you if I don’t give you best” he spoke gently��his gentle voice suddenly becoming slightly deeper and smoother. “Or perhaps you haven’t experienced being treated that way? Do you want others to find out the kind of treatment you’ve received from men till now? I’m sure you’d be embarrassed if that happens…Your friends would start treating you like an inferior person. Or maybe they already have. Well, all I'm doing is suggesting an idea.” You felt him smile through the phone, his tone shifting slightly. You were left speechless, every word of his cut you deep inside. Almost as if he knew everything about you. You always had bad experience with men, you never were the type of person to had a lot of relationships and experience. This made you insecure around your friends, who were either in a long-term relationship or at least had some experience. Whereas you were shy and nervous making you never really approach people from front especially for a relationship. You let out a deep breath as you realized his care and kindness towards you. He was so perfect…such a gentleman. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll send you my house address.” You said with a smile. “Thank you, Y/N, you truly are the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met…Goodbye then. We’ll meet tomorrow.” He spoke sweetly, as you felt him smile through the phone. “Goodbye.” You whispered as you ended the call. Tomorrow was going to be a great day.
~NEXT DAY~
The anticipation of meeting him had a chokehold on you for the whole day. You wanted to look your best, dress your best, smell your best, talk your best, just be your best for him. Or you could say his…approval. You didn’t know how, but you felt the need to prove yourself in front of him. Show him that calling you the most wonderful woman he had ever encountered was not a mistake. So, you did…well you tried more so.
Starting the day by going to a spa, a salon, a manicure & pedicure center. You did it all. Going as far as to buy new clothes. A pleated black skirt and a silk red top with matching black Louis Vuitton heels. God, you were excited. Wondering how he may look? Well, it didn’t matter anyway. Even if he showed up wearing a potato sack, he would still look good anyways.
The time came, sitting on your couch. All readied up for him. Staring at the wall, zoned out. The sound of your doorbell ringing suddenly reached your ears. Instinctively standing up, you panicked. Thoughts swarming in your head like goldfish in a pond. Then, it rang again. Taking a deep breath, you adjusted your dress and looked at yourself in the mirror for the last time. All perfect.
“Good evening.” He greeted you in that oh-so-soft voice of his after you opened your front door. “G-good evening.” You stuttered after you saw him. Dressed in an all-black suit. He just looked so elegant and gorgeous. You checked him out in secret. Damn, how can someone be so beautiful? He felt more like an angel than a human. Taking your hand in his, he kissed it softly. A faint blush appeared on your cheeks as he did so. “Shall we go?” he whispered, softly. Speechless, all you could do was nod.
The date was the best one you ever had. Every word he spoke, every touch he implanted, every look he gave made you put in a spell. A spell you cannot resist, becoming automatically submissive to his voice. And the way he touched you in an almost teasing manner. Leaving you hanging between threads longing for more, in a wonder of what he can offer. And the way he looked at you, seductive yet with a softness to his sapphire eyes. You didn’t even know when it happened, at what time it happened, but now you were left aroused. Wetness smirching your red panties. Something that Johan was seemingly unaware of.
“Shall we head somewhere else?” He asked smiling softly, holding your hand as you walk along a bridge. “Sure!” you said with a sweet smile on your face.
The moonlight glistened in the dark sky suffused with stars as you stepped inside the medieval-themed hotel. You looked around the hotel’s lobby as Johan booked a room for both of you. “Let’s go.” He smiled, putting his arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer. You looked down, blushing as you, both walked inside the elevator. “So have you ever been to a hotel with a man before?” he asked. “I-I haven’t” you muttered, embarrassed of yourself. “Then, may I have the honor of accompanying such a beautiful lady?” he whispered, voice almost seductive as he inched his face closer to yours. “Please.” You whispered back, licking your lower lip slightly. Hands that were earlier pulling you closer now caressed your neck, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He pulled in for a kiss. Starting slow now turned passionate. Desperate. Hungry. Desirous. He kissed you with every being of him. A man has now finally found the thing to cease his thirst. Breaking the kiss first, you were left longing for air. As you met his eyes, you felt that lust and greed oozing from the almost perfect man in your presence.
A small ‘ting’ sound awoke you from your lost state. You arrived on the 17th floor of the hotel, where your room was stationed. As you got out of the elevator and started looking around the floor, suddenly you felt Johan hug you from behind. His pale arms wrapped around your torso, as he whispered so seductively, so quietly in your ear. “Why don’t we continue this somewhere private, love?” …. Love?! You genuinely thought at that moment you would’ve melted in his arms. Face flushed profusely at his ‘innocent’ request, you nodded.
Getting inside the room, the first thing he did was lock the door while you sat on the edge of the bed, oh-so-flustered by the situation. Your breathing got slightly heavy as he started walking towards you slowly, his eyes almost having a predatory look in them. Crouching on the floor in front of you, he started to take off your heels. “W-what are you doing?” you asked softly, almost breathless from the anticipation. “Taking care of you sweetheart.” He replied as he stood up in Infront of you, his hand coming to hold your chin in a gentle but firm manner as he inched closer to your face and whispered in a subtle voice. “That’s what I’m doing.” Oh….
Holding your face in the gentleness of his palms, he inched his face closer to yours. Finally letting go of the boundaries between you two, his lips crashed into the softness of yours as his hand caressed the back of your neck. An intimate movement lasting for eternity to your heart and soul. The softness, the wetness, the desperation, and the anticipation all crashed down to land onto one prominence of time. Opening your eyes slowly almost in an allured state you looked through them as he kissed you. His hand coming down to unzip your top. His touch, was like that of a feather, light but leaving goosebumps all over your skin.
After taking off the scrapes of clothing from your body, he laid you down on the soft mattress of the bed. “Are you nervous?” he whispered seductively in your ear, placing delicate kisses all over your neck and collarbone. Your heavy breath hitched as you avoided eye contact with him, cheeks flushed from embarrassment mixed with arousal. “N-no..” you whispered, flustered. “Yes, you are. You shouldn’t lie. It’s not a good habit.” He spoke in a smooth tone, all while looking deeply into your eyes. His other hand came to grope your breast, making you whimper in his embrace. “Good girls don’t lie.” His long fingers traced patterns on the skin of your inner thigh, and slowly but surely those long fingers sunk into the very place they had the purpose for. He slowly started by rubbing gentle circles on top of your puffy clit, and when he felt the wetness trail down your thighs that he approved of, he sinks his fingers deep inside you. All while his mouth abused the sensitive bud of your breast. Biting, licking, sucking. “Understood?” he said in an almost demanding voice, to which all you could do was whimper a nod. Overwhelmed by the pleasure caused by him on your delicate body.
He increased the pace of his hand, as his long fingers inside you constantly brushed against your g-spot, making you cry in pleasure. Moans and whimpers escaped from your pretty mouth like a chant. One hand gripped the soft mattress beneath you while the other gripped the soft blonde hair of his.
“J-Johan~” you moaned in a high-pitched voice, lip quivering from crying as your orgasm finally hit you. The tight knot in your stomach now clutching open. He took his wet fingers out of you, looking at you with a slight smirk. “Woah, aren’t you sensitive…”
“You did well.” he said, smiling softly as he cuddled you up in his arms for the night.
Waking up with a slight pain in your lower stomach, you grumpily got up, stretching yourself. You felt something missing.
“Johan?”
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daenysx · 4 months ago
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hi! i’m pretty new to your blog but i’m really loving your content! you’re a fantastic writer. if it’s okay i’d like to request something for james x reader, where r is going through a friendship breakup and james is comforting her? i completely understand if you don’t want to write this, regardless i’ll continue to enjoy your content! have a great day/night 💗
hi, angel, thank you so much for being so kind! i hope you enjoy ♡ requests are open
james potter x fem!reader, modern au
"come on." you scoff, looking at your phone and feeling sick to your stomach. james lifts his head from his laptop to see what you're doing. you put the phone on couch a bit harshly, crossing your arms defensively.
"angel?" he asks.
"yeah, jamie?"
"everything alright?" he puts his laptop on the coffee table to go by your side. you turn your head, feeling a hot teardrop roll on your cheek.
"she doesn't even care about what i say." you start. james knows exactly who you're talking about. "i'm trying to talk about how i feel and she- it's nothing to her, apparently."
"what did she say?" james asks, he rubs a generous hand on your arm.
"she just- she says she's sorry and she'll fix it, but she said all those things 2 months ago! just- you need to do something for someone if you promise them but she keeps forgetting and she never explains anything."
you're getting more upset each second. this is a person who you spent your days with before, someone close enough to share secrets. something happened two months ago, something you can't even properly remember now, and she hurt you. she never realized how distanced you've been and when you told her, she promised she'll fix it. two fucking months ago. she did nothing.
"am i doing wrong?" you ask james. "is it wrong to be angry?"
"no." he says. "it's not wrong if you feel like it. you don't wanna let go of her so easy but- i guess she doesn't try like you do."
the truth hurts so badly. you hate losing friendships, strangers turning into loved ones, losing them makes you feel like losing a part of your memories. what can you do? you're feeling too proud, too unforgiving. you don't want to be a bad person.
"i just don't know why she keeps giving up on me." you say, quietly. tears turn into hushed breaths. "am i so easily forgettable?"
"no." james takes you in his arms. "baby, of course not. it's not your fault if you believe you try hard enough to save your friendship. maybe it's not anyone's fault. sometimes things don't work out."
you put your head on james's shoulder. "i thought we were closer than this." you say, sadly. "maybe i was wrong."
james rubs your back until you relax on him. your phone is forgotten, you won't send any more texts tonight. it already hurts enough, but you gotta get through it.
"i'm sorry." he says, a quiet sound comes out of his lips as he kisses your head. "i'm sorry it's hurting, baby. you'll be okay."
maybe you should just leave this as a good relationship that is over now. there's no need to try to save something if it's already lost. you've gone through this before, you can do it again. you think your anger for the situation will make you forget about things quicker. you won't hold any grudges.
"i don't wanna be friends with someone who treats me like this." you say, sharply. "i didn't do anything to deserve it."
james kisses your hair again. "i'm not blaming her." you say, after a second. "it's not anyone's fault at this point but- i won't try anymore. she can do anything she wants, i guess."
not getting a closure hurts a bit, but you'll survive. james likes how you perceive the situation from both sides, you don't see yourself as the only person who's right, you still have respect and love for your old friend. your head stays tucked on his neck nicely, he rubs your now dried cheeks with cool fingers.
when you look at james with expectant eyes, he nods. it's good to see him agreeing with you, you know he'd tell you if you were making an irrational decision out of anger. you kiss his cheek and he carries you to his side of the couch.
you don't look at your phone again that night. james figures out you like watching sitcoms when you're upset. you fall asleep to the background sound of the office, your head on james's chest and his hand on your lower back.
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devil-in-hiding · 1 month ago
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I just wanna say this before I attempt to restart my day for it to be a little better-
I was a lurker before all of this, before posting my first Price x Reader, before interacting with some of my favourite authors, before answering asks. I was just a girl who wanted to join a community because i enjoyed the people, I guess i have avoided most of the discourse and hateful blogs because everyone i have followed, chatted with and interact with is lovely. I just wanted to finally have a place to put my writing out there because this is what I’ve done since i was 8, not COD obviously but I’ve been a writer most of my life, it brings me happiness. I know i’m not the best, my plot can get lost sometimes and i’m still getting use to writing smut tbh.
But i am TRYING. This blog is my safe place, even more so now, i can actually put my crazy thoughts on here and people understand, they enjoy my brain (which is crazy because i don’t even enjoy my brain most of the time)
i came into this for the people, to make friends because honestly that’s what i’ve needed for the last year, being able to share my writing is honestly the bonus here.
I genuinely have no idea what I have done to make someone so upset, one of the previous asks read as though i never got to an ask that person sent me and it upset them, greatly.
I have over 1000 asks in my inbox right now. Before august 18th i had maybe 17 that were old messages from one of my first friends on here.
I am a 25 year old first time mom who is just trying to find a place that i feel accepted and kind of wanted.
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ughgoaway · 9 months ago
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my favourite fics and writers
hi, y'all!! so I've decided that this year, I want to be more appreciative of all the amazing content we have on this app, and thank the writers providing it. this was inspired by Lily (lastnightwaskindofablur) who shared how long it took her to write her series, and it made me realise how much time and love are poured into these fics.
so this list is basically everyone im following, and my favourite piece of writing from them! I don't think I've forgotten anyone, but if I have IM SO SORRY!! if I am following you- I'm obsessed with you.
anyway, so sorry for tagging 1000 people but I love and appreciate you all so much!!
(so much rambling below the cut)
@64yrsold; “aches” is amazing and “wintering” is heartbreaking in the best way. Also, all of their one-shots are just amazing, I could read them over and over again!!
@yourtouchismidas; “ruins” was one of the first fics that had me checking AO3 every day for updates. truly heartbreaking and all-encompassing. and all the blurbs from it are also amazing. The dad! Matty content mixed with the angst is just so well done.
@abiiors; is not only one of the nicest people on this app (and maybe the world) but also one of the most talented writers. so so many amazing fics that honestly, don't even get me started on bc I will talk for HOURS. but “haunt//bed” is one fic I can't stop coming back to. And “Three’s a Party” is… mind-numbingly good, it actually made me scream into a pillow when I read it for the first time. Vee also creates all the amazing 75 Tumblr activities so really she is to thank for SO MUCH content on here!! one of the kindest people I know, and I feel so lucky to call her my friend :)))
@shinycollarboneapologist; was the blog where I started rambling and sharing ideas, so she is to thank for all the friends I've made on here!!! The Taylor verse is PHENOMENAL and “illicit affairs” is a fav. but “clandestine” has invaded my brain so much I literally dream about it regularly... so I have to say that's my no.1
@imagine-that-100; I first discovered her series "Drunk” on ao3 and then promptly binged everything on her masterlist (multiple times...) “Chicken Shop Date” is just a masterpiece (she and her co-writer are AMAZING on this and I will ramble about her later), but my personal fav is “truth serum”. I have probably read that fic about 50 times over and I love it just as much every time!!!
@heyidkyay; I first read “Who Can Say No to Bridezilla?” and became obsessed on ao3. but then I found them on Tumblr and was completely sucked into "I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name" which is quite possibly the best George series on here. so much character building and back story, and overall just a phenomenal fic.
@justlikemebutsixfootthree; has some of the best smut on this app,” The Birthday Party” is probably my most re-read because it is just an absolute masterpiece. but “insane” and “direction” are also both amazing.
@imightgetbetter; was one of the first blogs I discovered on here, and I fell in love with the whole “Love It If We Made It” series. such an amazing development of a relationship and their writing is AMAZING. but my absolute favourites have to be “Bets are off” and “I love dilfs.”
@butyou-callmewhenyourebored; has such good Ross content all around, truly providing for the Ross girlies!!! but the Leeds au blurb 1 is my fav from them!
@drivelikeiido; has some beautiful fluff, and I just love the way they write Matty. but (not so) important decisions just make my heart warm like nothing else!!!
@toomuchracket; my beloved mads!! the fun wine aunt of 1975 Tumblr. I mean I could talk for 17 pages about my love for all of her au's... birthday party is the perfect supportive husband, d-word is the best slutty old man content on this app lol and flatmate is the friends-to-lovers content we all yearn for. asking me to choose my favourite Mads fic is like choosing a favourite child, but right now it has to be totally wrecked. I think that has altered my brain chemistry in an indescribable way… (edit; since writing this she has put out possibly my no.1 fic of all time, “and this is how it starts” so I just had to mention how much I fucking adore it)
@lottiecrabie; I mean... what else is there to even say about Lottie other than she is one of the best writers I have ever read. truly the mother of 1975 Tumblr. “rockstar girlfriend” and “pray for my soul” both have such special places in my heart, but anatomy au locked a new section in my brain fr. that little loser lives in my head rent free!!!
@tillthelandslide; is so so kind and has some amazing series I would recommend to EVERYONE. “insufferable asshole” is one of my absolute favourites, I love a grovelling man what can I say!!! but “Same for You” has me flipping sides every chapter, I still can't choose if I'm team Ross or team Matty.
@lastnightwaskindofablur; what more can I sat about the whole ATPOAIM universe other than it is quite literally phenomenal. the amount of time and effort poured into the Brittany Jackson universe is so clear by how amazing each fic and blurb is. my absolute favourite thought is "Christmas isn't cancelled (just you.)" from the 12 days of Christmas. it is easily one of my favourite fics I've read!!! She is also the whole inspiration behind this list and made me realise how important thanking your favourite writers really is.
@cowboylor; ohmyLORD the smut on this blog is just... wowowoowowowow. actually made me nervous to attempt smut because of how good theirs is. "Cabin Fever" is probably my favourite, I love a good threesome fic.
@alovesreading; the other half of the JAW DROPPING series that is “Chicken Shop Date”. the hours that have been put into that fic are so clear in how well thought out it is. every word feels purposefully placed, and every chapter fucking HITS. A also writes amazing fics for Alex Turner and is slowly making me an Alex girlie just by how good her writing is...
@bookish-strawberry; such such good fics in the "You and Me Till the End Universe". Ambrose has just created such loveable characters and you can't help but adore his writing. “alleyway” pt 1 and 2 are my favourites, I do love some fwb content.
@hypersonic04; her teacher Ross universe is just great, every blurb and fic just radiates the love between the characters that she has created!! but my absolute favourite fic of hers has to be "Tis the damn season", it somehow made me love one of my favourite songs even more.
@cryley; her “Petichor” series is just fluffy perfection, I have probably read it over 10 times and will 1000% be reading it at least 10 more...
@cows-wearing-my-sweater; has some amazing one-shots, and his work on “Eternal Summer” is absolutely beautiful. she manages to make you feel the warmth of summer through a screen, and it's fucking beautiful. 
@thefrontofmymind; has so many great matty fics/imagines, “Helping Hand” jumps out easily as my favourite though. Once again, friends with benefits is ALWAYS gonna slap. especially when they confess their feelings at the end!!!! ahhh so good. “Proof Positive” is such a good Ross fic, if you like pregnancy fics I would HIGHLY recommend it.
@uramilf; did the 12 days of Christmas last year, and every day was amazing!!! But £The Record Shop” is my favourite series from her, love and music combined are too perfect for me not to adore.
@3terna15unshin3; Marcey's fic "then because she goes" had me refreshing ao3 DAILY. este is such a well-rounded and beautiful character, her and Matty's love makes me so lovesick it's CRAZY. that whole series is my favourite, and my fav blurb from that universe is Toothbrush. Este and Matty are so beloved by me <333
@because-she-goes; has an amazing universe with Matty and an OC that I adore, Nora is such a lovely character and every fic about them makes me giddy. "black lace" and "Summer Girl" are my favourites of their fics though!
@theseventyfive; has such a way with words, every fic makes me giggle and kick my feet. but if you saw my tags on my reblog of "not so secret Santa" you know how deeply I adore that fic. the writing on it is beautiful and makes you feel warm somehow??? amazing.
@wrongendofurcigarette; George girlies it's your time to shine!!!! "sun-soaked" and "wet" swirl in my mind whenever I see a pic of George looking... particularly good. but recently she has created an actress reader au that I am BUZZING for. that little snippet was... wowowowowowowow
@automaticllamacycle; OLIVE!!!!! once again, such a nice and genuine human being and I am so so lucky to chat with her because she is the best hypeman EVER. and is amazing to bounce ideas off of. just such a kind person and I am blessed to scream to her over DM. her coffee shop AU might be my most-read fic ever. it was my daily routine at one point to wake up, go to AO3 and read that fic. when part 2 came out???? I DIEDDDDDDD. but also all of olives horny thoughts are... MUWAH chefs kiss.
@red---moon; "after party" is another fic I read regularly on ao3, sleepy matty after a party with flirting and then smut??? hellooooo yes please. also, “Souvenir” as a series is just amazing, so so so good.
@maxverstappensflatbrim; “show me yours” is such a beautiful universe, and has SO MANY CHAPTERS for you to become obsessed with. I just love every character in that universe, and Mac’s writing is amazing.
@justanamesstuff; “All I Need” is such an amazing series, and I would recommend it to anyone who loves Dad! Matty content!! But all her blubs are worth reading too!!
@procrastinatinglikeapro; is so so sweet and has some absolutely mind-blowing fics. I must have read her entire masterlist 10 times over at this point. Choosing a favourite is hard, but “Does it matter” as a series has me HOOKED. (but also I love “mango lipgloss” and “wear my name around your neck”… don't make me choose okay)
@wrestletotheground; has some absolute BANGERS that everyone MUST read. Once again, the ross-tent on this blog is amazing. “Crime and Punishment” is my fav Matty fic from them, and she absolutely killed it with “Settle Down” for Ross!!
@mybrokenveins3000; college ross SUPREMACY!!! She is right when she says she is proud of “everyday rockstar” because it's easily my fav!!
@steel-elle; beautiful writing with everything she does, but my favourite has to be “But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes” (is this also because I love the song New Year's Day?? perhaps…)
@kscheibles; “e la vita” is so stunning I don't even know how to verbalise it. That fic has a portion of my heart FOREVER. But college bf! Matty is truly the man we all deserve, and I am obsessed with him.
@think0fmehigh; molly!!! My love!!! What else is there to say about Molly other than she might be my fav filthy smut writer on this app, and thats a tough competition. Every time I get a snippet in DM’s from her, I feel like one of the luckiest human beings alive. Molly does not have a bad fic (despite her protests im sure) but my top two (because I CANT CHOOSE JUST ONE) have to be “Birthday Girl” and “You Get Me So High.” but honestly if you have the time, bless your life by reading every word she's ever written.
@controlmyfeet; DAD MATTY FIC. thats all I even need to say, it is SO SWEET and it makes me so happy!!!!
@bfiaflbox; sooooo much good content, but my favourites are “Wintering” and “Tonight I Wish I Was Your Girl” !!
@nowshesdoingitallthetime; kirke. This is me BEGGING for more bartender matty!!! “Cocktails, Cowboys and back alleys” is MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH. Bartender Matty is a need, I adored every second of that fic.
@wiintring; I NEED more from Christina!!! Her writing is all wonderful, and “Come here dressed in black now” does live in my mind!!! 
@grocerystorelist; “body of Christ” is made for the religious trauma girlies and the fleabag girls. PREIST MATTY DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYY. Leila is so talented, it's crazy.
@forcryingoutlloud; wowwowwowwow the smutty content on this blog… its sooooooo good. “Beg for it” and “greedy” did melt my brain in the absolute best way, like I was genuinely SWEATING at how hot it was. As is everything on her masterlist!!
@hrryshoney; gyno! Matty unlocked a whole new side to me that I had NO IDEA was there. Like… insane. And the newest photographer reader fic also drove me CRAZY because I do love a cocky fictional man and some semi-public sex…
@the1975attheirverybest; Halla’s blog is a great place for discussion, good writing and crazy intelligent analysis of the band. “Education” and “being funny in a foreign language” are just… art. Truly. The character of Amelia and the characterisation of Matty are some of my favourites on this app. Hot smut, good writing and a lovely human being- what else do you need hellooo?? (also the pegging blurb from ages ago… yeah I think about her A LOT.)
@sugar-coat-it; FILTY, AMAZING SMUT. literally, every piece on Belle’s masterlist is worth reading 100 times over. Her newest thigh-riding blurb has been rotting my brain, I can't stop going back to it and reading it. Also, the Kylo Ren fic… mask kink unlocked fr. and the matty helping you deepthroat fic is also incredible. (can I just name everything she's done orrr???)
@cinomn; Nina has some great content, and I would genuinely recommend anything!! My favourite has to be “Summer Nights”, but it's a TOUGH competition tbh!!
@noacfslut; THE WRITING SPEED ON THIS BLOG?? MIND BOGGILING. And not only is Elle speedy, but every fic all absolutely wonderful. “Jealousy jealousy” and “undo” are my favourites, but that might change when I get the chance to read her mechanic au, because from what I've heard, it's also extraordinary.
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toomanystoriessolittletime · 3 months ago
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Gonna be real under the cut
As someone who has been bullied all of my schooltime because I was too awkward, too fat, because my dad left us, because of how my hair looked, because I was wearing the same pants for two days in a row, because I had respect for my teachers, because i never had a boyfriend, because i didn't drink....
I am so glad the internet wasn't around back then.
If shit like what is happening currently in this fandom would have been happened to me twenty years ago?
I don't want to imagine what I would have done to make it stop.
Bullies have always been the same.
Mirroring their insecurites on someone who thinks won't fight back (or in this day and age can't because you can't censor the internet and reporting will only get you so far)
If you are one of the people "confessing" on that certain blog
You are nothing more than a bully.
If you have a problem with someone and don't want to use the block button for whatever reason, you get into the inbox of the person you feel is "mistreating you" and ask them why. You don't go around sending hateful messages hiding behind the anonymity this website provides under the impression that it's "confessing".
If you genuinely feel offended that not everyone (of the so called big blogs) talks to you, that you're not instantly are getting the notes on the fics you post, that you don't have enough followers, that you dont feel welcome in a fandom....
Things like this can take years.
And it takes work. It takes constant writing. It takes constant making gifs. Constant making art.
And yeah sometimes people chose to not reblog other fics/content? So what? Big deal. No one has to!
Like it is some kind of obligation once you hit your made up big blog follower number to reblog every single content from anyone. wtf?
Of course things mutuals post get reblogged more often, because they are on our dashboards.
Personally I used to find new writers/fics by going into the Pedro tag. The tag that is now swamped with hatefull "confessions" so I just don't go looking anymore. You think this will get you the exposure you want to?
Maybe it will, but not in the way you have been dreaming of.
And you bet your ass we are gonna reblog our shit as often as we want to. . And if I want to reblog my own fic twenty times because i am proud of it? Not your problem. The unfollow and block button is there for a reason. USE IT.
Because, newsflash, these are our own fucking blogs and we can do whatever we want with it
Like you.
Who choses to bully people for the fucked up reasons your little brains think are valid.
But bullying is never okay and I hope one day you realize and care that you actually hurt people. Sometimes to a point where you can't be sorry anymore cause they're gone.
I guess what I wanna say with this post is grow up.
And don't even get me started on how people over the age of 30 are creepy for still being in fandom.
You do know what a hobby is, right?
The majority of the content you love so much would be gone if we all would be gone. Maybe keep that in mind the next time you get into some inbox to call people out you never have bothered to get to know in the first place.
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jolapeno · 3 months ago
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i wasn’t sure if I wanted to say something or not. but, I saw the post that @moonlitbirdie did here with the addition from @tonysopranosrobe and I guess it inspired me to be a little braver with my honesty.
because at the end of the day, this is my blog? it’s my thing I’ve taken and nurtured, and watered and made my own.
so lemme start with I’m aware it is humanly impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea, and I do not expect to be. but before the last week or so, I’d naively thought that if I wasn’t, those people would bow out politely from my life/space.
but that blog showed me that isn’t the case, and that sucked.
there are far more adjectives and words I’d love to say to describe my feelings on that blog and that situation. to describe the hurt and the sadness I’ve felt, not just for the words said about me but about moots, friends and others I see in the community I love being in. but I think I would never stop talking and we all have lives.
so I’ll get to the point of what this is.
normally, I wouldn’t address things publicly, but this time I want to put my foot down, to say a few things.
I might seem more confident in recc’ing myself, but that isn’t because I was faking it before. instead, it’s because I have good people in my life, and good friends who I might not have had before taking the time to let me hold some space in my life. who have reminded me that it’s okay to toot my fucking horn sometimes, and it doesn’t make me a bad person even if it feels bad.
they remind me that it’s okay to celebrate with cake when I finish a series I’ve worked really, really hard on. and those same good people are also ones who politely and virtually slap me when I begin talking shit on myself, who have helped me begin to forge a better relationship with the warring voices in my head—the writer who wishes to write and the girl with no self esteem who wishes to crawl into a ball each time she posts.
next, I know for some, it may have seemed like I was okay. that the normal posting on here was it running off my back like water. but it wasn’t. it was hard to come into a space where it felt like people hated me, and where people would send in asks about other people I’m friends with or care for or know. because even if it’s only a few asks, it feels like more, because I don’t know who is screenshotting and agreeing with it. and once you begin tumbling down that thought-cliff there’s no stopping you.
again, I’m aware I’m not perfect. i make mistakes, I try to learn from them, and I do not expect to be everyone’s fave person. but anon hate is not a thing I’d wish even on the people I personally dislike, and I’ve had it on and off pre that blog appearing. I’ve deleted and deleted, blocked and reported, and then that blog came and then it was out there, and I could do nothing. I just had to stare and read it, had to hope that people knew who I was.
and look, I say none of this for sympathy, but more an acknowledgment that not everything that stands past the ground shaking is stable. that people don’t always know or feel able to ask or share that they’re hurting. and then it’s isolating, it’s dark and it’s fucking lonely.
which is what leads me to my final thing, which is thank you. thank you to every single person who has reached out to check if I’m okay, to offer the option of a vent or a thot, and the ones that have even just sent love hearts. and also thank you to those who have thought about sending something to me or instead disputed or reported that blog.
I know on the post above by birdee and commented on by han mentions about checking in with people, and I just want to echo that point so loud. if you’re unsure what to do it this happens again (maybe not even now - god I hope - or in this fandom, but in the future) from someone who was mentioned, it’s check in.
similar to han (you worded it perfectly and I’m going to butcher it) it validated how shitty I was feeling, it allowed me to feel okay taking space to be mad and to be sad, because someone else was agreeing it was wrong. those things seem easy on the surface until your North Star has gone, until your upside down and topsy turvy. and if you’re reading this and thinking “bit fucking dramatic jo” then I ask you to kindly unfollow me, no hard feelings, or anything.
because in my eyes, anyone would feel a little disconcerted when their hobby doesn’t feel safe or provide the same comfort it did. when your hobby is the thing you look forward to, and then you can’t enjoy it because there’s a thousand thoughts running around and it feels so anxiety provoking. and yeah, I know there will be people who will go “it’s just tumblr” but I’ve been here a while, this isn’t my first rodeo here, and I just never wish for anyone else to feel like this. ever. no one deserves the hobby they love to be tarnished by shadows that shout and spew things, that you can’t fight back against, because you don’t know who they are.
but kind voices eventually break through and smother the unkind ones. they do. they have.
and I know for me, those check ins and messages brought me comfort when I needed it. they helped.
so if you’re unsure what to do, take comfort that a little love does help. it isn’t magic, it doesn’t fix it all, but it does make a difference, and that matters too.
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babyjakes · 1 year ago
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sweet surprise. [blurb.]
〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉
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event | august '23 general requests blurb night
summary | ransom has a surprise encounter with your little niece.
pairing | soft!ransom drysdale x auntie!reader (+ reader's baby!niece)
warnings | SOFT RANSOM IS BACK. just soooo fluffy, like unbearable amounts of fluff hehe. written from reader's pov, but most of it is just ran & da baby <3
word count | 689
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requested by @brandycranby | hiiiiii eun ✨💕 for blurb night, maybe we could see a fluff or hurt/comfort + unexpectedly soft!ransom + baby? like a teeny tiny chubby wubby baby 🥺
an | aaaahhhhh i'm so glad you sent in this request brandy bby, i've been DYING to write soft!ran lately and this is just the sweetest idea ever ever, hope you enjoy sweet friend and thank you for the amazing idea!!
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You don't hear Ransom as he returns home from work, tossing his bag beside the door with a quiet grumble. As always, he's not in the best mood after spending nearly six hours at his grandfather's, helping the old writer with the logistics of his business. He can't wait to spend time with you, the sunshine that always brightens his day and erases any worries that might be floating around in his mind. He doesn't see you as he looks around the living room, but what he does see catches him off guard. On the floor, across the room, sits a strange-looking contraption— some sort of swing. He lets out a gasp as he sees what's sitting inside: a tiny baby whose big, bright eyes are looking over at him with a darling sense of curiosity.
"Oh my," Ransom hums to himself. He stands frozen for a few moments, looking around the room again. You're nowhere to be found. "Now what are you doing here all alone?" he hums softly, finally building up the courage to start making his way over to the swing.
He stops several feet away, just observing the tiny being. Judging by the sweet pink lettering on her jumper that spells out Mama's Girl, he's able to easily guess the infant's gender. "My goodness," the large man whispers, his face softening as the sweet little girl smiles at the sound of his voice, "you're so tiny. What're you doing here, hmm? Was y/n looking after you this afternoon?"
He sits down cross-legged on the floor, scooting himself up a bit more as the baby sways gently in the swing, clapping her tiny hands together clumsily to show the stranger that she's happy to see him. Ransom bites back a smile, reaching out a hand to brush back the little one's thin tufts of hair. "Hi there, pretty girl," he murmurs, "Are you clappin' for me? That's so nice of you, sweetheart. What a smart girl you are."
The infant claps a few more times, giggling softly as a defeated smile finally crosses the brown-haired man's face. "You're too sweet," he admits, stroking the baby's chubby little cheek. "I wonder where y/n is, hmm? Have you seen her?" he asks comically, his grin widening as the baby just continues to wiggle and smile in the swing. "You wanna come out, sweetheart? C'mere, let me hold you."
His hands are steady and careful as he gently unbuckles her from the swing, being sure to support her neck and head as he lifts her up and brings her to his chest. "Oh my," his voice flutters as she tucks her tiny head against his shoulder, snuggling right up to him. "There you go, angel. I got you," he whispers, stroking her hair as he bounces her gently in his arms.
"Welcome home," you giggle as you enter the doorway to the kitchen, your heart swelling at the sight of the giant man holding the tiny baby so carefully, as if she's the most precious thing in the world.
"Look, there's y/n!" Ransom coos excitedly to the little one, causing her to look over at you and offer you a huge, toothless smile. "I bet she missed you!"
"Looks like you're Uncle Ran, huh?" you joke as you join the two on the floor, rubbing the tiny girl's back as Ransom sways and cradles her. "Never knew you liked babies."
"Me neither," the man chuckles, looking down at your niece with the gentlest smile. "But I think this little one might've changed my mind. Look at how tiny she is. So tiny and precious, aren't you?" he fusses her again, earning a chorus of giggles from the baby as he messes her hair carefully. "How long is she staying?" Ransom asks, looking back up at you. "Can we see her again soon? I'll take off work, Harlen won't mind— we should bring her over to see him! He loves kids."
"Hey, hey, slow down," you laugh, leaning over to kiss the sweet man's forehead as you remind him, "I haven't even told you her name yet."
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the-modern-typewriter · 11 months ago
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Hello! I've been reading through your blog for the past few days and everything you write is so amazing. I was wondering if maybe you would consider writing something about an aro high schooler who gets asked out by this person they've convinced themselves that they like, but when they're actually asked about it, it just feels wrong? (Bonus points if they think kissing is gross because imo it is) - sincerely, an aroace teen writer who is very inspired by you
"River kissed you!?" Their best friend shrieked, with all of the excitement that the protagonist had expected to feel.
They managed a weak smile. Their stomach squirmed.
It was supposed to be great, wasn't it? A first kiss. People wrote novels about them. It was the epic climax of the episode. It was fireworks and a fluttering stomach, it was the whole world narrowing down to a single moment, it was heart pounding love.
It was gross.
"...was it bad?" their friend asked, catching their expression. Their face fell. A smashed plate of disappointment.
The protagonist swallowed. "It was...wet."
"I mean, it takes a bit of practice to get good at it. Even with the right person. Did they stick their tongue down your throat?"
"No. I don't think so? I mean - it was fine." It would be fine. It would definitely be fine. Maybe their first kiss hadn't exactly been what they were hoping for, but it would get better. Wouldn't it? Their throat suddenly felt horribly tight. They pressed their lips together to keep their voice from wobbling and took a breath. "You're probably right. I mean, I don't know if they've ever kissed anyone before either. Maybe I was really bad at it."
"No!"
"It's okay." At least, if they were bad at kissing, that was something they could improve upon. At least it wouldn't always feel so...
It wasn't like it was all some elaborate ruse the whole population was in on, anyway. That would be ridiculous!
It had been a nice night otherwise. The movie had been good, and their hands had touched over the popcorn, and they'd got into a great discussion about the plot after.
It would get better.
...it did not get better, though.
They started to find excuses not to kiss River; "Let's take it slow."
A kiss on the head or the cheek wasn't so bad, or like a one second peck on the mouth. It was all the other kisses.
When it didn't feel wrong, they felt nothing. They counted the awkward seconds for it to be over, then vowed to do much better next time when they caught a glimpse of the confused sort of hurt in River's eyes.
"I know you're shy," River said, one day, in a trying-to-be-casual voice. "But you like...never kiss me. It's always me kissing you. Did I..." Their voice dropped, agonised, "am I really bad at it or something?"
"No, no!"
"Oh, good."
"I just - I don't now." Their stomach squeezed. "I'm not sure I really like kissing," they confessed. "It's - I don't know." It felt rude to say ew.
"Oh," River said, in a tone of less good, but trying to be chill and non-judgy. "Okay."
"Sorry."
"It's okay." River took their hand, squeezed. "Kissing isn't everything, I guess. There are other things."
For a second, just a second, they were sure they'd never loved anyone more.
They liked River. Didn't they? They certainly thought they had. They had those cheekbones, and those pretty eyes, and they were always nice to everyone. They made the protagonist laugh, at least when there wasn't kissing involved.
It should have all been perfect.
They'd always wanted to fall in love.
In the end, they broke up after about three months.
The protagonist didn't ask what they'd done wrong, because it felt obvious, even if River wasn't cruel enough to say it. Maybe they should have ended it themselves, instead of forcing River to do it. Probably.
But what could they possibly say? It's not you, it's me. Nobody would believe that even if it was true. Oh, I know I said yes to dating you, but I'm just not that into you. That felt far too mean. It wasn't like River had done anything bad.
Their best friend held them while they cried, wracking things that choked up in their chest.
"What if I die alone?"
"Don't be stupid." Their best friend hugged them hard. "Of course you're not going to lie alone. River wasn't that great anyway! There's clearly something wrong with you if they don't want you."
The protagonist didn't quite dare say that wasn't exactly how it happened.
They kissed a few other people over the years, normally around the time when everyone else did. New Year, at the strike of twelve. If there wasn't any fireworks in the kiss, at least they were popping and fizzing outside and a new year was a new slate. They tried once after a few too many cocktails, with a friend, because maybe it would feel a little better when they were tipsy. With someone who definitely knew what they were doing.
It wasn't, though.
"You'll find the right person," their best friend said. "It's different when it's the right person, you know? Like me and Willow. I didn't think, but then..." They were happily in love; exuberant on it, nonstop on it.
The protagonist didn't want to resent it. They didn't want to be that person, spitting bitter like the villain in a fairytale.
"Romance novels are very exaggerated," their best friend said. "It's not always butterflies. It doesn't have to be butterflies to be real, you know? It's just someone you really want to spend time with."
But, the more the protagonist thought about it, the more they weren't sure that was quite true. There were plenty of people that they liked being around. It still didn't make them want to kiss them.
They weren't even sure they wanted to fall in love anymore. It wasn't like they spent most of their life miserable or anything. It was just...sometimes, when everyone else in the room had someone, or their parents asked them yet again if there was anyone they'd been seeing. Even in the height of drama, it all seemed so much easier for them.
They were twenty when they first came across the words.
Aromantic Asexual.
It was the second time they'd cried over the whole kissing thing.
That time it was relief.
"Oh my god," they left their best friend a message, vindicated. "It is an elaborate ruse!!! I'm going to bite something!!"
It got better, after that.
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lemotmo · 4 months ago
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Hey I found that one BT blog and this answer is even better. The question they got was basically why don't Buddie shippers remember that the original plan for Eddie was Maddie, and why don't we understand that's proof Buddie has never been the plan. They also went on a rant about the date scene from the finale. The ask also mentioned being blocked by Ryan and Oliver and threw in some Ryan/Oliver hate so just a heads up!
A. Hi anon! Okay you're correct, and I believe it was Jennifer herself (I could be wrong) that let us know the original plan was Eddie/Maddie but she lobbied hard for Chimney (go Jen!) and it means absolutely nothing. I hope that doesn't sound mean but it has no bearing whatsoever on anything at all. Nothing. Buddie doesn't have to have always been the plan to go canon. It can go that way if the natural trajectory of the story and characters lead things that way. And right now that looks like where it's going. I could be wrong, but it feels like that's what's coming. I mean Eddie and Maddie aren't even friends at this point, lol. I can't remember the last time they even had a scene together. I know both Ryan and Jennifer said they wanted more Eddie/Maddie interaction, which might mean they know they're going to have scenes together in the coming season. I hope they do, it's weird that they haven't interacted more. And none of that has anything at all to do with Tommy. I'm not at all sure what you mean by that? There is no Tommy connection running through the history of this show. That is not a thing. Yes he has history on the show but not to every character on this show. And certainly not to the degree you're trying to imply.
I have zero idea why people are choosing the finale date scene as their Tommy hill to die on. It was a terrible scene. It was wildly out of place in the context of that episode, and people should be willing to admit that. It was unequivocally and universally panned. The journalists who review and cover the show, the general audience, no one understood or liked that scene. The fact that Tim had to come out and flat out tell us it was supposed to be flirting is embarrassing. And tells you everything you need to know about how hard of a dud that scene was. We have all seen Buck flirt. And that wasn't even close. And it felt entirely out of character for Buck in every possible way. A lot of it can be pinned to K, who is a terrible writer in general, but, in my opinion, has never known how to actually write Buck. I also think Oliver wasn't trying to make it flirty, which maybe if he had tried it would have helped some but he clearly wasn't going for flirty. The episode as a whole was abysmal and that scene was no different. There is no need to pretend otherwise.
Now I'm going to lecture. I haven't seen a single Buddie shipper excuse Ryan's past comment. Not a single one, I'm sure someone somewhere has, but I haven't seen it. What I have seen is plenty of excuses offered for Lou's problematic history. What Ryan said was wrong, flat out inexcusably wrong. And guess what? He owned it. Publicly. He made a public apology and clearly worded himself. You can tell between then and now he's grown as a person. You only need to look at his relationship with Aisha to know that. We don't tear down or try to erase someone's personal growth to excuse the behavior of someone else. That's not how life works. You don't get to diminish Ryan's growth and personal journey to make you feel better about Lou's twitter history. Lou could have addressed things, and he chose not to. Actually he chose to go radio silent. Whether that turns out to be work related or not remains to be seen. I'm sorry you're upset that you've been blocked by Ryan, but if you sent him what you sent me in this ask, I can see why he blocked you. I also don't think it should be surprising that Oliver also blocked you. I don't think they're sitting around talking about Tommy fans like you're saying, but it wouldn't at all surprise me if they're sharing certain things they're being sent. They're friends. They're going to talk. They're allowed to be friends. You're not the first person who's mentioned being blocked by both of them. They are both huge mental health advocates and them blocking nasty comments should surprise no one. It is surprising, and incredibly disappointing, to kind of see how many people they appear to have had to block though. Look the bottom line is the story has already been decided. Whatever the direction is won't be altered by being assholes to the cast. And if we did have any kind of power to change things, which we don't, being openly hostile toward, and an asshole to, the main cast, would accomplish the opposite of what you want.
Imagine what this anon had to have sent to Ryan. I don't want to know. Also, imagine choosing the date scene as your favorite scene 🤣. Good on the answer though, it was I'm sure, humiliating to have to publicly explain that scene.
Wow. Thank you Nonny. :)
I have to admit, the eloquent way this person explains everything is incredible. They say all the things I've thought about, but might not have voiced so clearly in my previous posts.
So, I'm just going to leave this here for everyone to read. I encourage you all to take a look at it. It's highly interesting.
And again, please no hate on this post. I'm not posting this to mock anyone or to generate more hate.
I'm merely posting this because this is clearly written by a BT fan who has not been lead on by Lou's headcanons in his cameos. This person sees the show for what it. They see the way the story is unfolding and respectfully speaks their mind about it without any insults towards anyone else in the 911 fandom. I can appreciate that from anyone, no matter what they ship.
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bekolxeram · 23 days ago
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So... I said I couldn't wait for the plane disaster arc to be over, and I still stand by that statement. If you read my blog regularly, you'd know I loved it, the more plane stuff the merrier, but at the same time, it was a huge relief for me to finally be able to move on.
Warning: long rant incoming
I joined this fandom last season because of my love for BuckTommy and aviation, I've made it clear many times before. I saw comments downplaying Tommy's role in the cruise ship rescue, and I thought, well I know a thing or two about how hard flying is, especially flying a helicopter, so maybe I should write something about it.
Fast forward to last month, someone asked me whether Tommy could fly a plane realistically, so I answered it as they asked, realistically no. I can imagine him flying a light plane as a hobby, but never a four engine turboprop military plane that takes 5-12 crew members to fly, or an airliner that's basically a flying computer. I wasn't even aware of the Airport 1975 pilot transfer theory at first, so imagine my shock when I woke up to multiple posts naming my theory by name, (yeah, I said the water bomber in 2x14 belonged to CAL FIRE, I made my first post about this a long time ago, and I don't think anyone from the other side even made the effort to dig this deep, so those posts were referring to me) each with 400+ notes, and many reblogs by people I'd been following, telling me to shut the fuck up. It wasn't even aware that my aviation hc would be anything close to controversial, it deeply upset me and it fundamentally changed my interaction with the fandom as a whole.
I tried putting my more aviation focused posts under a specific tag that people can block if they're not interested, still, like clockwork, some posts popped up in the main ship tag around 6 hours later, digging up old interviews from Tim saying "Tommy did the water drop, just off screen" or expressing their disbelief that there were still people out there who thought Tommy didn't fly the air tanker.
I wanted to explain my reasoning, but I knew it would come across as needlessly confrontational, so I kept my mouth shut. I saw the pilot transfer theory gaining traction, I knew it was too crazy and too expensive for the show to pull off, but I kept my mouth shut. I even leaned into that theory at one point saying Tommy could be flying the helicopter in that stunt, but still the theory was hyped up more and more and its supporters were gradually getting more annoyed by me. I knew I would feel bad whether Tommy rappel into that cockpit or not, because on one hand, I hate that film with a burning passion, on the other, I basically stood back and watched everyone got their hopes way up then witnessed them getting crushed in real time.
Now Schrödinger's cat box is opened, without Tommy in it, I guess there's no need for me to self censor anymore. So here are some stuff I was too afraid to post when people were still deeply invested in their theory, before we all move on from this disaster arc.
The writers don't care about timeline, they can't even get when Tommy transferred out of the 118 right
Tommy supposedly left the 118 right before Buck joined, so 7 years ago, but in 7x09 Tommy said he joined Harbor 5 years ago. My very first post on this site is about this timeline conflict. My explanation was that it takes some years of training before you can even touch a helicopter at Air Ops (in real life LAFD sends you to LAPD for basic training), so Tommy probably only officially transferred to Harbor 5 years ago.
That led to a lot of comments saying the writers just didn't give a damn, they didn't care to google or get their story right, just accept it. But you don't even need to google. The description Tommy gave Buck in the Harbor tour scene was lifted straight from the LAFD Air Ops website, and you know what? If you scroll a little bit further down, you can clearly see the "at least two years of LAFD AIr Operations training line". It takes less than 5 minutes to read it all through.
Tim said Tommy did the water drop, so it's canon he flew that plane in 2x14
Someone pulled out Tim's interview specifically to disprove my CAL FIRE hc. Yeah, he did say Tommy did the water drop:
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But I've never heard anyone from the show said Tommy was literally grabbing the yoke, pulling the thrust levers, flying the plane. A C-130 (or L-100 as the civilian variant) is not a single engine water scooper, it's a four engine monstrosity.
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The heavier the plane, the faster it has to fly for the wings the generate enough lift to keep it in the sky, right? Well, in order to drop water/fire retardant in an accurate and effective fashion, the C-130 has to fly low and slow enough that the flight crew has to get used to hearing the "terrain! terrain! pull up!" and "stall! stall!" warnings at all time during a mission.
In fact, the C-130 water tanker usually flies behind a lead plane, most of the time a lighter business jet that surveys the area and plots the optimal route for the water drop. It fires a line of smoke to mark out the designated location for the payload, the C-130 behind it just has to release the water/fire retardant once the nose of the plane hit the trail of smoke.
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That coordination is extremely cool.
The C-130 takes at the very least 3 crew members to fly: 2 pilots and a flight engineer, no fly-by-wire on this one, but it usually takes even more for a safer more accurate operation.
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I can absolutely picture Tommy being one of the people sitting behind the pilots in 2x14. They didn't have a lead plane, so maybe the CAL FIRE guys asked him to pull his weight, since he was the one who asked for the favor and he was also an aerial firefighter, they needed an extra pair of professional eyes anyway. So technically he did the water drop, but he flew no plane that day. (I have a fully developed backstory in my head about Tommy's involvement in that episode, but unfortunately I'm not a good writer, and it'll probably piss people off more than it entertains them. It's about a clandestine mission à la 7x03 and Tommy's meet cute with his ex boyfriend)
If you've made it this far, you probably really like my blog or aviation stuff, and I think you for your support. At one point, I told myself I would leave the fandom behind if I saw one more post telling me to shut up, I got so closed to it. Now, reading post after post saying leaving the newly reintroduced pilot character out of the show's plane disaster arc is a missed opportunity just makes me, I don't know, kind of sad? I've always thought he's just a helicopter pilot, he wouldn't be much help in guiding the crippled jet down anyway, that I was right, but then what? It doesn't feel good to be right this time. I can accept not seeing Tommy working with the 118 on the ground, I can be patient and wait for a week longer for his presence, but accidentally annoying people with what I thought was fun trivia, watching hundreds of them clown on me for taking the show too seriously, for being a nitpicker, for being too obsessive, I don't think I can ever erase it from my mind.
Let's just hope we can all move on (mostly on my part), and I can return to making bad quality humorous gifs about our boys. I'll still post stuff about aviation, now that it's less controversial. If you're a brave soul you can go search for the tag I created for others to block (#aviation realism).
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goodluckclove · 7 months ago
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I've been meaning to say something. (100 follower hot take)
Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've had a nice day. Why don't you rest with me for a while? I made some chocolate chip cookies - with shortening instead of butter, so they're very soft and very chocolatey. I made way too many and they aren't my wife's favorite, so I could use some help in eating them.
You're probably a writer, right? Or maybe you think about how you could be. Browse the tags here, or on other social media platforms. Maybe you used to write stories as a kid. I bet those were fun. Teachers might've thought they were impressive, or they dissected them line by line until the words didn't make sense in your head anymore. Either way, if you're here you're probably here for a reason.
(rant alert)
I dipped a toe in online writing communities on and off. My last attempt was forty-five minutes scrolling through the writing hashtag on Youtube Shorts (so TikTok, I guess? I don't know). I didn't like it. I really didn't. The thing that sticks out the strongest in my mind is one particular video where a woman claims that every story needs a second act plot twist.
Huh? Every story? All of them? Why? Since when? Who are you? What qualifications do you have to make a statement like that?
That's the common thread that makes a lot of writing spaces very uncomfortable for me. Successful writers are really only successful in their genre and for the given moment, so they don't have that much objective authority in the craft. And yet I see a lot of people deciding the things that you can't do in writing. Or the things you have to do, and how you have to do them. It was so much of Writeblr at first glance that I almost dipped out once again. I didn't, though, and I'm glad I didn't because now I get to watch some of the next great storytellers from across the world grow and examine and forge their way forward.
No one can teach you how to write. No, that's not true. Teachers teach literacy. Handwriting. Typing maybe - do schools still teach typing? Let me try saying it in a different way - no one, not one single person on this goddamned planet, has the right to tell you how to make a story.
I was supposed to get my MFA in creative writing before my first breakdown. My uncle stayed in the program I was meant to be in, and a few years after I dropped out he graduated. Recently I had the thought to look up his thesis novella, and as I searched I found myself regretting my decision to leave school. If I stayed and got to develop my writing in an actual class, with other writers and a knowledgeable professor, how much further along would I be than where I am right now?
It was bad. His novella was terrible. It was so bad I had a small existential crisis for, like, three days. He spent so much money on years and years of professional education and came out with a truly soulless story that read as if you prompted an AI to write the next Great American Novel. So if you think you need a writing degree to be a legitimate author, it could help connections-wise, but it ultimately won't be the thing that does the work for you.
Not all advice I see online on writing is bad. I find the people who are able to capture the "I" statements of therapy and phrase advice as things that have worked for them, or things that they personally enjoy, to be fine. Some writing advice can spark inspiration.
But if someone is the type of person to boil every story down to troupes and cliches, and then immediately say that every story that uses the trait they don't like is automatically bad for everyone? I'm dropping the kindness for a second - that's trash. That's a trash take and I see far too many writers use it as a reason to stop before they begin.
I don't like whump. I say my reasons in previous posts if you go back through my blog. But you will never hear me say that any story with whump in it is bad, because I don't know that. You might prove me wrong. I am an adult human being and I have the humility to admit that I can like something I didn't expect to. I genuinely enjoy the direction of The Human Centipede (only the first one) and if you cringed just now that probably means you haven't seen it.
There are so many types of books and movies and plays and comics out there. To enjoy a specific genre is fine, to ignore the existence of everything else is a really, really, really odd thing to do. Maybe someone will hate your story because they think everything should be Neil Gaiman, and therefore have no way to understand your epistolary high-Western. You are not the wrong end of that situation just for existing.
And at there is a definite threshold on how many writing tips you can gather before they stop being useful. If you find them interesting, that's one thing. That's fine. But if the culture of creativity online has made you feel like you need to educate yourself on every possible angle before you can write a story, you are actively harming yourself.
Imagine taking the level of structure you put on yourself in that way and putting it on children playing pretend in the backyard. Oh, Susie, don't you know that it's overdone for your Kitsune have dead parents? Xyler, shouldn't you ask someone else before you decide how Spiderman would react to this? It would make no sense and they do not need it. Kids will make a whole world out of nothing and it's the most fucked thing in my heart that at some point they get access to Reddit and dipshits start insisting that's wrong.
They aren't wrong and you aren't either. Your favorite creative influencer can't tell you your story, strangers on the internet can't tell you your story, your teachers and loved ones can't tell you your story. They can influence it, but they can't write it honestly the way you can.
You do that. That's the thing you do.
Man that makes me upset. I can't tell you how to make a story, either. If anyone sends me asks for writing advice the most I'll do is say what I've done before hopping into your DMs and starting a direct conversation. it's so personal to each individual artist, and I'd like to think that the people selling these classes and software and promoting these platforms haven't thought about that before. Otherwise it does feel manipulative. If you have a willingness to practice and imagine and really experiment with the possibilities, you are ready to write your story.
And if it doesn't work? Try again. That's what you do.
Stephen King has written roughly a thousand books and maybe five of them have decent endings. He is unimaginably successful.
I'm rambling now. I think I got that out of my system. I was really worried to say this out of fear of being too weird or somehow reverse-gatekeeping so hard that it circles back into also being a bad thing. I've just spoken to a lot of people who I still think of throughout my day, and I truly ache for them to get past the fear of creation. Because it's worth it. It's worth it and it's fun, even when it's messy and you're tired.
Let it Be just came on. Beatles. I haven't listened to The Beatles in a long time. Feels a little apropos.
I love you, reader. Reader, Writer, Colleague. Take care of yourself. Especially the little you, still sitting there in the backyard of your soul, bathing in the sun with their bare feet in the damp earth.
Consider joining them, maybe.
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flurrysahin · 4 months ago
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writeblr intro!
about me
Hi there, I'm Florence (or Flor for short)! I'm a tech person by day, an artist by night, and a writer everywhere in between!
I set up this blog because I want to document my writing process whilst also being able to connect to fellow writers and get into a community! Since I'm new here and don't know anyone I'll give a follow to everyone who interacts with this post! ✧
writing
culturally/ethnically diverse characters
mostly contemporary about topics such as grief, identity, mental health - even though I am working on my first post-apocalyptic project rn
I would love to write more angst which I'm practicing atm
I keep it pretty PG (even though I like reading non-PG stuff I don't feel comfortable writing it myself)
there's always a little bit of romance lingering I guess but it's never the main story
WIPs
SUNFLOWER KILL
action / slife of life idk
Hitwoman of Turkish descent living in London visits her grandmother in Turkey over the summer, whose reality is completely different to hers
mood: funny, hopeful, exciting (hopefully)
SOMEWHERE BETTER
dystopian / post-apocalyptic duology
set in 2067 on a dirty sad earth (think a mix of Fallout wastelands and the earth depicted in Idiocracy)
the plague has taken over the world causing humanity to escape to mars colonies
native American / Mediterranean (I don't touch on cultural / traditional themes though as I am not native American myself, it wouldn't be authentic and I don't want to be accidentally insensitive) female main character with hearing aid (yeahhh!)
south American male side character who used to work at the colonization corporation and is now on the run
finished
road trip novel featuring a young woman of greek descent
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Good Company | Novel [available here] (release date 24.07.2024)
True-Crime fan Sofia is still mourning the loss of her grandfather when she unexpectedly comes across his legacy in the form of a forgotten movie script. One thing leads to another and Sofia soon finds herself on a turbulent road trip along the West Coast, where she not only encounters weird strangers, bizarre delicacies, and odd museums but also has to prove herself as a getaway driver. Their destination is Los Angeles, where Sofia hopes to find not only answers but also traces of her grandfather and maybe even a piece of herself …
fun facts
I have four cats! (yes, four)
I love true-crime podcasts and forensic files (who doesn't?)
I'm vegan
I'm also an artist over ✧ here ✧
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