#i guess at least there aren't any more ���evil gods” to be ruined

[gotstabbedbyapen]

I have very complicated feelings for the Vengeance Saga (after the first listen)

Disclaimer: I will only criticize Epic the Vengeance Saga as a work on its own, not for its inaccuracy or deviation from mythology and The Odyssey. There are more knowledgable people who can point out and analyze the changes in Epic the Musical, but that is not what I'll be tackling here.

To put it bluntly, I'm not being angsty about it as I should. The whole saga just... didn't feel right with me.

Now, first off all, I'm a big fan of Epic and had been following it since the Cyclops saga (first version). I've been in love with many songs and hyperfixed it for months on end. But when the Vengeance saga came along, I didn't feel that same bubbling love rise in me.

Even as a fan, this isn't my first time having peeves with Epic. I didn't jam with the re-release sagas for a while, I'm underwhelmed with the Circe VS Odysseus fight and other issues, very unpopular opinion but "Monster" wasn't too impactful to me, and also the God Games (especially Zeus' attack).

The Vengeance Saga though? Well, they say we gotta do the Bun-Meat-Bun (or whatever the hell its name really is) technique when giving criticism, so I'll start with the good parts.

I love that Odysseus looked so done with Calypso in "Not Sorry For Loving You". They're basically this meme:

Like sorry you're a sad but you're still an abuser 😒

Then Odysseus starts singing the reprise for "Full Speed Ahead" but there's no one to back him up. That one hits me hard. To whoever on Tumblr said that after the Thunder Saga we will never hear the crew's back-up again and Odysseus' singing will be answered with silence, Apollo really blessed you with the red ball.

Hermes and the Winions' part was really cool too! I really like them being mischievous helper! The warning about the wind bag and the changing scene of Odysseus fighting off sea monsters while Hermes just vibing with the beats is 👌👌👌

But after that the hype started to sizzle out for me. You might want to skip this part if you're not comfortable with harsh criticism because I WON'T hold back.

It's really backward but I like the Odysseus VS Charybdis draft more than the final production. Charybdis' roars and music are somehow less intimidating, which is a shame because I thought this would be one of the biggest struggles Odysseus will face. Even with awesome illustrative animatics, the scene wasn't as thrilling as I've expected.

The other songs got massive improvement from its draft version (on top of my mind I can think of "Thunder Bringer", "There Are Other Ways", "Little Wolf"), but I don't get why "Charybdis" didn't get up-graded as much like them. It's like a cake that was throughly baked but half decorated and it just didn't taste as good as I've hoped.

Then we have the Odysseus VS Poseidon part in "Get In The Water" and "Six Hundred Strikes". The first thought I had for GITW is this song sounds like all the draft snippets were mashed together without a smooth transition/connection between them. Jorge and Steven's performance is great, but there's not enough tension for me to dread for Odysseus. When Poseidon first met Odysseus in "Ruthlessness", the whole opening was terrifyingly good! And we didn't even have any illustration animatic back then! (that's not to say the GITW animatics were bad, they just can't salvage much when the song itself was already weak)

I wasn't impressed with Poseidon's Shatter The Ocean move either. It's supposed to be the Strongest AttackTM but it's less scary than when he and the Laestrygonians destroyed Odysseus' eleven ships with probably 1% of their power. It didn't even help when Poseidon looked like he's having a seizure with lights pouring out of his eyes and mouth during the transformation.

Odysseus being literally on the brink of death with the souls of his loved ones pulling him into the abyss is a gem in the rough, but because we've seen Odysseus almost drowning before in the end of the Thunder Saga, it's not as shocking as it should be. Furthermore, Poseidon could have instant-killed Odysseus right then and there but didn't really annoyed me. But I guess he just wanted Odysseus to slowly suffer while dying.

Right when I thought the progress will get better, it... gets down. I can go with Odysseus using wind to escape the water, but him wearing it like a jetpack is so comical it ruined the drastic of the situation. And I'm officially let down when Odysseus FUCKING ATTACKED Poseidon in "Six Hundred Strike".

What? Just... why with that choice?

Look, I'm not gonna fault Epic for making creative liberties from the source material (as said in the disclaimer), but I will criticize if that change contradict itself in the transformative work. And this is one of them.

Poseidon and the gods have been proven time and time again in the musical just how powerful they are. Their ominous and grandiose entrances, them striking fear and inferiority in our hearts just by singing. Even Circe, a low-level goddess, poses a constant threat to the crew and Odysseus had to get help from Hermes just to get a chance to corner her (and Hermes even joked that he can still die!)

Poseidon easily destroyed almost all of Odysseus' fleet. Odysseus was very avoidant of him, opting to go to the literal Underworld to find instruction on how to dodge him and sailing through Scylla's lair + willing to sacrifice six men for safe passage. And when Poseidon said he can drown all of Ithaca, it's not just bluffing, he would and could have done that. Yeah, the King of the Sea is THAT BIG of a treat.

So no, Odysseus isn't cool to attack Poseidon, he's being stupid. I'm not even cheering for him the whole him he fight, just groaning at how ridiculous the whole thing is. If Epic is more believable and sticks to WHAT IT HAD ESTABLISHED BEFORE, having a sudden burst of anger and choosing ruthlessness won't save Odysseus from one swipe of Poseidon's trident. Odysseus stood no chance against a one of the most powerful deity, even if he's the protagonist and love his family.

Not only that, Poseidon didn't even defend himself and was wounded by a mere human! And he just sat there and took all the blows and insults from Odysseus??? And he actually begged Odysseus to stop and agree to quell the storm to let him get home??? I'm not buy that bullshit. I'm more upset that a literal Olympian god was nerfed down than Odysseus having a Gary Stu moment. Give me a break, that try-hard moment to be cool and edgy just show how badly written the scene is.

What's the fucking point of hyping up how dangerous the gods are if a human can take one down? Tell me this isn't some Wattpad-y Greek myth retelling fanfic where the teenage Y/N sass her way to defeat an entire pantheon. Epic really traded its opportunity to be better for some cheap and out-of-the-blue dramas in this saga, dare I say it's even worse than Zeus' OOC attack on Athena. I'm very disappointed with that decision.

On an end note, the saga did have one saving point with the "After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?" - "Next to my wife" lines. Odysseus knew he could be the most horrendous man ever and Penelope would still choose his side, that just show how powerful their love and faith in each other are.

But not enough to excuse all the terrible cinematic choices.

[gil-notskajla]

I know it's 2020 but I rewatched [prototype] gameplay because i remmembered that it was cool and angsty af but did not really remmember what happened in it except Alex turning evil in sequel for some reason and it seemed weird.

Soo im watching this shit for 3 hours because im professional time waster and i still don't get it. Viruses, i mean the viruses viruses, rewrite genetic code of attacked cells, they can't create hiveminds or any minds in fact, viruses aren't built to do such complicated tasks - virus is just some RNA (not even DNA) closed in protein and sent off to the world to cause maychem in animal, fungal, protista and floral kingdoms. In this situation - animal kingdom. Dr.Alex Mercer 1.0 steals the virus and smashes the container, gets infected and murdered by guys sent to catch him. Some fans speculate that that's the point where Alex Mercer has died including some in game characters and Zeus (Alex Mercer 2.0), unaware of not being Alex, took his place. But that's bullshit my dudes. Alex Mercer is still Alex Mercer but mutated and amnesiac (probably because he was braindead and memories are stored by continiuos bio-electrical reactions, neuro transmitters and ionic concentration on neuron membrane). Why Alex is Alex and not Zeus? Because conciousness is stored in organ, not genetic material (not to mention our cells mutate all the time, thats why we have moles and cancers). If conciousness was stored in genetic material, than twins would share conciousness, clones would share conciousness and those whoose genome would change would lose conciousness, not to mention that our cells get replaced several times durring our lives - the body you are in is not the body you were born in, yet, you are still you (of course neurons live really really long). We could argue that other infected were agressive and cannibalistic but that's not conciouss behaviour, these are instincts, there was no goal in their doing. Other infected were like: holy shit, prey animal, food! Of course some were controled by Greene but she was, like Mercer, an anomaly and her will was hers, not virus'. She just hated everyone and was evil as fuck. But back to Mercer, we could also argue that he died back there when his brain got destroyed by lack of oxygen - but than every new conciousness gets deleted every single time he gets shot in the head durring the game. My hipothesis is that there is one conciousness per one brain and is a series of biochemical processes on neurons in one specific body, uncopiable and irreplacable. By that hipothesis (which is very bold but way more specific than anything the game offers us, or better put, doesnt offer) Alex Mercer got infected, torn appart by bullets, his brain got damaged but did not die entirely because if it did he would have a way worse amnesia than just not knowing anything and he didnt get shot in the head

, virus already has infected him and probably kept his brain alive-enaugh soo that he would at least know english when he wakes up, virus managed to work on what alive cells were left (yes, when you die, your cells in several places in the body still live off of the reserves and substances in cytoplasm for a while) the virus, unlike most viruses, had ability to... (basing on my knowledge im trying to imagine how this would work) manages to reanicate dead cells and with, at this point, sheer willpower fix the damage caused by bullets and give Alex's heart a kick from the God themself to start working and that's when he wakes up durring the autopsy.

Giving that analysis, Alex Mercer is still Alex Mercer because he is technicaly same organism but modified, amnesiac because of brain damage caused by lack of oxygen between moment of getting mass-shot and fixed by the virus and i have no idea who gave him the doctor title if he really believed that guy that some Zeus replaced him. Like, Alex sweetie, viruses are fucking dead matter, ok? You are a mutant but not a new being. But he has amnesia soo I guess we can forgive.

Edit: Dunno where to put memory stealing aspect, here is good enaugh spot. I have no goddamned idea how this would work: maybe he doesnt damage the brain of the victim, somehow connects the brain to his own, transfers knowledge and than disposes it (however the hell this would work)? There was this one dude who killed himself soo Alex wouldn't consume him and get his knowledge, destroyed his harddrive basicaly soo he can't read it, and that's really cool of game creators to think about it. Respect. This also kinda prooves that Alex didn't actually die the first time he died, when he was still 'human'.

And the very end? He got caught in explosion but he must have created some form of safe box for his brain alone and got rebuilt from this and some other leftovers of him and a crow because it was already stated by doctors suicide that destroyed brain or something resembling a brain whatever he has at this point bust be preserved to keep memories. And he knows what happened at the end of the game. Period.

But than second part happens and holy shit i'm soo angry, you have no idea. I mean, ok, the story itself was fine but Mercer aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaicant why why why who allowed this plot disaster to happen!?!? In part one Alex did his absolute best to prevent the virus, to stop infection, to stop gentek and to bring peace. A beautiful, beautiful ending, a satisfying ending. Finnish the task and boom! He can live in peace, potential immortality before him, a world to see, a knowledge to gain, a life to live and no danger in sight or at least no real danger for him in particular. Perfect situation to start over. But what do they decide to do? Well we need to make sequel because first game sold. Soo we will ruin this whole character we have build instead of, i dont know, giving him new objective, expanding his character, and we will turn him into another evil guy dissapointed in life who lost faith in humanity and destroys his work from the previous game because we need something absolutelly devastating to happen soo new protagonist will have something to fight for AND also we will make those already a bit fucked up and evil bio engeneering corporations come back even more evil soo that making Mercer not only evil but genarally badly written character will have NO SENSE WHAT-SO-EVER and just, I'M JUST----!!!!!!!

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [I'm thinking the vibe should be that maybe she hasn't heard from him all at for these 3-5 days like NOTHING which is obvs not like him even when he's busy] Ava: Hey, just checking in Ava: it's all good if you're busy but I'm just a little worried, probably stupid but Ava: give me a quick shout so I don't ramp it up and come 'round like a potential total idiot James: [when you can see he's reading it but not replying] Ava: James Ava: What's wrong? James: what's right? nothing Ava: Please tell me James: how? Ava: I don't know Ava: sometimes it's easier to just say it, stick to the facts Ava: I can take time to gather my thoughts and reply, if you can't James: I can't, Ava James: talk about this, think about it, handle it James: those are the facts Ava: Okay Ava: Can you tell me where you are? James: home, I've been there the entire time James: except when I went out to buy a bottle I can't drink & drugs I can't take, so they're staring at me Ava: You could Ava: but you haven't Ava: are the girls with you? James: yes, having them here is the only way I can be sure I won't Ava: You'd never hurt them James: but I said she uses them & that's exactly what I'm doing James: as a sobriety chip Ava: Caring enough about your loved ones and your responsibility towards them is a noble one to stay sober Ava: hold onto it James: it doesn't matter, I'll lose her anyway James: I can only hold on to Matty Ava: Why are you going to lose Jay? James: because she's not mine Ava: you've done a test Ava: oh god Ava: I am so, so sorry there are no words Ava: when did you find out? James: Chloé insisted James: I'm not her father but thanks to that lovely conversation we had, I do know who is Ava: She, what? Ava: She's pure evil James: she insisted because of you Ava: me? James: yes, her hatred of your family is more deeply rooted than I realised Ava: but Ava: if I had any idea Ava: I'm sorry, I should've listened to you but I thought she'd come after me, not Ava: this Ava: James James: in a way, she is, this affects you too Ava: but it's yours and the girl's lives Ava: it only affects me because I care about you James: you don't understand what I mean, it's yours & your family's too James: I can't say the words, Ava, other than what I've already said, I know who her father is Ava: I don't understand but I'm trying Ava: how could it affect my family Ava: that's Ava: no it's not possible James: Ava James: she told me how it happened James: told me to ask him Ava: but Ava: how could he James: I don't know, she said that they'd had an argument & he was really under the influence Ava: but Ava: forget the fact he's a bad boyfriend, forget the fact he's turned that into being a worse husband Ava: it's the fact he's going to be so selfish, put us all through hell because he loves Rio and that makes it okay, then he's not even going to fucking mean it and worst of all, he's going to fuck it all up, after all the pain of us accepting and dealing with his decision, with her- and why? because she made Nancy's life hell? Ava: he's as twisted as her, I'm gonna kill him James: I'm sorry James: if it redeems anything at all, I think Rio at least knows, I think it's possible that maybe everyone did but us Ava: you have nothing to be sorry for Ava: he's helped Ava: he's helped ruin your life Ava: Jesus James: you see now why I couldn't tell you James: talk to you at all Ava: Of course I see Ava: this is Ava: just terrible James: everything is ruined Ava: what are you going to do? Ava: what is she going to do? James: she's going to tell him if I don't Ava: He has to know Ava: how has it never crossed his mind Ava: he's clearly many things but stupid isn't one of them James: apparently she told him about the pregnancy and his response was to tell everyone about his relationship with your cousin James: so she quickly recanted & we know the rest Ava: so he used Rio as a scapegoat Ava: that's even worse Ava: well, karma has caught up with him Ava: but not enough, nowhere near James: this is all according to Chloé, she's rarely to be trusted Ava: She didn't lie about the DNA, did she James: evidently not, but that doesn't mean she has a clear insight into any of your brother's motivations or feelings Ava: I don't care Ava: any way you slice it, it's wrong Ava: oh God Ava: he can't take Jay from you Ava: she's yours James: she uses people, Ava, he won't have been any different James: he's a law student, he'll know better than me what he can or can't do Ava: Like he used her, because he was pissed off? Then used Rio, who he claims to love, to get out of the situation you then got forced into Ava: I don't want to talk about him Ava: you've raised her, you wanted her when she was presented to you as yours, you didn't wriggle out of it Ava: she named you, even if she lied James: maybe he won't want her anyway, he's got a family, a wife, whatever happened then it's obviously in the past for them Ava: Exactly Ava: even if that's Ava: disgusting Ava: leave Chloe to tell him, it'll go as well as the first time James: she's given me time to get a DNA done, with no prior knowledge of how long that would take, I can leave before she tells him Ava: You can Ava: she's a fucking idiot, even if he for some reason believed her this time, how is he doing a DNA, he's never met Jay, he has no way of contacting her but through you James: our bags have been packed for days, I just need to actually go Ava: Where will you go? James: I don't know Ava: I guess it's for the best you don't tell me Ava: I wouldn't want to say, even under duress James: right Ava: I'm so sorry, James James: me too James: I thought the hardest thing left to tell Jay would be about us Ava: Do you have to Ava: if you leave James: she'll have to know & if it doesn't come from me it could come from Chloé herself, years from now potentially James: there's only so long we can stay away, I don't have my own money Ava: That's true Ava: that would be Ava: but this will be so hard for you Ava: at least she's still going to want to stay with you, there's no chance she'll want to be anywhere else Ava: you'll find a way to make your own money Ava: wherever you end up James: as a single parent with so few skills I'm less sure of this imagined future but Ava: People do it Ava: you can James: maybe she'd be better off with him James: in the end Ava: No Ava: money makes life easier, it doesn't make it worthwhile, come on Ava: knowing your parent loves you, that's so much more important Ava: you love Jay, more than anyone else could James: but he's not a bad father, is he? he could love her Ava: You love her Ava: what about you? James: I love you too but it's not enough James: everything's still ruined Ava: not because of you Ava: because of this Ava: them James: I should've done this sooner James: I knew there was a chance James: she never said it about Matty, not once Ava: So did he, where's he been Ava: and she knew for sure and she still let all of this happen Ava: no one else is here taking responsibility, looking after those girls, it's you James: what the fuck am I going to do? Ava: The money you have, if it was enough for a deposit in London, it'll be more than enough anywhere else, enough to rent and live off whilst you get it sorted, getting them into schools, job hunting Ava: I still love you, James James: come with me Ava: I can't, my parents would file a missing persons Ava: even if I told them I was going, they wouldn't let me Ava: when you're settled, tell me where you are, I won't tell, if they start asking Ava: and I can come see you again James: I can't just leave you here not knowing how long I'll be gone Ava: I've already made things bad for you Ava: she wouldn't have done this if I weren't related to him James: but I'd still be married to her if I didn't have you to make me realise how bad that was Ava: I don't want you to go Ava: but that's only because I'll miss you so fucking much I can't think about it, and because I'm scared for you and what you'll do and what will happen Ava: but you can't lose her James: can you convince your brother to do the right thing? you talked to Teddy, that helped James: I don't know, I know it's not the same, but James: I can't lose you either, not now James: not when I need you more than ever James: I'm so scared & so alone with this & I don't want to do the wrong thing James: Jay will have so many questions if we just leave Ava: Oh, darling Ava: I don't know either, I don't think you can be sure about this it's so Ava: uncertain and messed up Ava: but if you can't lose me, you won't Ava: and I'll try my best with whatever else you need me to but I can't promise anything, really James: there's always been someone telling me what to do, every step James: & now there's nothing, we're all in free fall Ava: You can do this, I know now more than ever is a time impossible to have that self-belief but you can Ava: you don't have to be alone though, I'm here for you James: will you come over, please? Ava: of course James: I just can't go anywhere else right now Ava: That's beyond understandable Ava: I'll walk, that'll be quickest James: okay Ava: James James: yes? Ava: Before I leave, we'll have a plan, alright Ava: even if we don't stick to it fully or we make changes Ava: I won't go 'til you feel at least 1% better about it all James: if it makes you feel better I'm at 1% at the prospect of seeing you James: not only because I can't tell if Matty is actually getting sick or if I'm just stressed Ava: We'll aim for 2% then Ava: and I'm sure she's okay but I'll make sure too, yeah James: how could I ever walk away from you again? Ava: I wasn't convinced I'd survive it either but James: they aren't the only reason I stayed sober James: I don't want you to see me like that either Ava: I am so proud of you Ava: no one would want to be sober in your position right now, so the fact you could Ava: you're so strong, love James: it's so hard being around her right now, wondering if actually her temper isn't inherited from her mother like I thought & what else I've mis-attributed, but the idea of not being with her is Ava: There must not be a word to put to how confusing, conflicted, it all feels James: this whole situation is a huge blank page James: my family have all individually kept ringing me but I have nothing to say, no way to tell them that any of this is going on Ava: You've been in shock Ava: They can wait, you had no choice in hearing it but you can feel as if you have more of an idea before you tell them James: until they're at the door Ava: you've dealt with worse, you can't deny that now Ava: but we will try to get you some reprieve Ava: I bet you haven't been to sleep James: how long can you stay before your parents take issue with it? Ava: I'm sure I can get a friend to cover for me, I'll sort that Ava: I'll stay as long as you need me James: an eternity then, fine if you have loyal enough friends or I had vampire attributes Ava: I'll stay with you for an eternity like that Ava: even if I have to go back to sleep after a certain point, I'm not going anywhere James: I love you James: she can't ruin that, okay Ava: She can't Ava: ever Ava: she tried, amongst all the fucked shit she has pulled James: your sister clearly had the right idea Ava: yeah Ava: who'd have known James: maybe she'll have a spare bed for me in New York Ava: that will make visiting slightly more problematic but you know James: in that case, I won't write it down as step 1 of the plan James: understood Ava: unless step 2 is I apply to some NYC schools James: Goldsmiths would never forgive me Ava: I love you so much Ava: also I think I'm here but come let me in just in case James: [does]

[unseeing-eyes]

1975

An opening to a book I might get time to write

Tw for suicide mentions, parental trauma, mental issues (referenced) and uncanny valley I guess

Any feedback or criticism welcome :)

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There’s someone he doesn’t know how to feel about, his father used to be nice enough, nothing to write home about but now he doesn’t know what to feel, he always wanted a son and when he got one he was so utterly confused by one that didn’t act like he did, that he never knew what to do with him. It got worse as he grew up, as he eventually grew out being able to be forced to try for sports teams and watch football with him at the weekends. But after, well, he didn’t really say much to him. It wasn’t like he avoided him, still asked him to pass the salt or help his mother out with tea but that was pretty much it. He never really got it, he lived in a world where things always happened to other people and well they got over it so why don’t you. It’s almost a mercy that he doesn’t have to see him much now, would be great if it wasn’t the way it affecting his mother, he swears she grows more snappy and bitter with every ‘urgent meeting he just couldn’t miss’ at least it keeps him away, but he wishes his mother had something to do; her way of coping with it, is to smother him, and never give him a moment of peace.

They don't talk about it, what happened, why he had packed his life back into suitcases and came crawling back to them, why he had followed them to America. How he put his life on hold, well the life they want him to have anyway, because at the end of the day who wants to be an accountant if their parents aren't paying for it. He pushes the thoughts out of his head before he ends back in the dingy flat in London, back to the taste of blood and back to the feeling that he managed to ruin everything he wanted when it was almost in his grasp.

He glances around for a distraction, some little detail of the church he can mindlessly stare at to clear his mind. The stained glass windows cast red on the floor, and he flinches. He can feel his mother’s eyes on him, her disapproval. He follows her to a pew and sits. His eyes are drawn to the priest as he approaches a podium and clears his throat. Jude lets the priest’s words wash over him, and he stares off into space into better things like unpacking his things and finishing the book he started, and he should really go check out the library. He’s nearly finished all the books he brought with him, he had to leave the rest after, well, he doesn’t want to think about it. He shouldn’t think about it, but the thought weighs heavy in his head, dragging him back to a shared flat, trousers discarded on his floor and the flashing of lights.

‘Deliver us from evil’ the priest says in a commanding, low voice as if he can call God down from heaven if he simply tries hard enough and then he’s back to this dingy old church in the middle of nowhere Ohio, back to his mother’s glare and the priest’s sermon. He looks up and meets the priest’s eyes, he’s staring at Jude, has he been doing that the whole time? Oh well, he never backs down from a challenge, he stares the priest down. He sits for the rest of the sermon, you never realise how slow time passes till you’re sitting listening to one of those, and stares the priest out. It lasts the rest of the sermon until it reaches the end. “Amen,” the priest says and smiles at Jude as if they’re sharing a joke between the two of them. There’s something unsettling behind that smile, like it’s wrong somehow. Something about it just makes the hair on his neck stand on end and a cold sweat trickles down his spine.

As the church sermon ends he practically flees out of the door, but as he leaves the feeling doesn’t leave, it doesn’t lessen even back in his room. Thoughts of being childish, running out of that church like a wimp away from that priest who probably was just being nice ran through his head. No, he thinks there was definitely something off. He felt like a deer in headlights at that smile. He sits on his bed, his back to the wall, as he draws his knees to his chest and curses himself.

Wishing he was back home, back where everything was alright, the worst thing he had to think about was going shopping and nine o’clock lectures. But he can never go back to that life, the person he used to be is long dead and so is Warren. A part of him knows that it would be better than being in that empty flat, crowded with a dead man’s stuff, covered in his hopes and dreams. But if we were home, another part argues, then at least we could be alone and unbothered, yeah that worked out so well last time and chuckles; the laugh sounds hysterical even to his ears.

How does someone get better after that? Warrens gone and the hole in Jude he left when he died is still bleeding all these months later. He tried everything at some point but there’s only so much someone can do to try and dull the pain after your best friend jumps for the 6th floor of your apartment building. Yeah you can call an ambulance, wait in the emergency room but get told he was dead on arrival, you can talk to his grieving family members, and you can even speak at his funeral. But nothing really will make it go away, he’s tired of the pitying looks and the words of reassurance that everything will be okay because it isn’t and it never will be and he’s spiraling again. He knows he needs to stop it, push it out of his mind, he can’t afford to slip again, they barely let him out last time they definitely won’t this time.

So he decides to figure out what the fuck was wrong with the priest and his twisted smile. What’s the worst that can happen, he dies? Well, he wants to die anyway, and wouldn’t that be an interesting way to go, he thinks. His mind is made up, he is going to figure the priest out even if it kills him. At least that will give him something to do when he runs out of books to read a suitable distraction from the parts of him that’s missing.

[tartaricing]

Doctarded: Act 4 - Gustave Kateb vs The People

With any remaining dregs of audacity gone, Doc faces Team Rainbow.  This was originally made from a larger so I split it up for dramatic effect. R&R!

"Okay, from the top…"

"SHIT!"

"ASS!"

"FUCK!"

"HAMBURGERS!"

"Fuze, hamburgers is not a curse word," Tachanka gave critique, "It is something we call the Americans, yes?"

"But doesn't most instances of this condition have only benign words?" Fuze stood his ground.

"While that may or may not be true, we need to put our backs into it. Kapkan, flail more excessively! Glaz, make that shuddering believable!" Tachanka continued, having his claps echo in his tiny room, "Okay, again, from the top-"

"Tachanka, dear what are you doing?" Finka burst into the room, jaw dropped.

"Ah, Finka!" Tachanka bellowed a greeting, "Have you heard about what happened about the Spetznaz?" He motioned to give a bear hug, but was rebuffed by the younger woman.

"No, I have not but this is not acceptable," Finka's jaw hadn't lowered, pitch increasing, "First Doc loses his mind, but now this?"

"Love, we are just trying to show that our brothers and sisters back home need the money."

"By deceit? What is going on here?" She still stood, shocked.

"Oh…" The man's voice went monotone at the realization, "Love… We have received bad news. The Spetsnaz is losing funding from the UN."

"That makes no sense…"

"We're all aware here, Finka," Kapkan spoke up, "But yes, it's happening."

"What is your plan here?" Finka asked, "Are you going to deceive the UN by by doing a charade of a poor excuse of Tourette's syndrome?"

"Well… yes." Tachanka was blunt, "But we are proving a point."

"What kind of point?"

"Well, the UN has a soft spot for the disabled. And if we make light of the fact that we have the disabled in our ranks, maybe they'll retract their decision. It's not wrong, is it?"

"Technically, you are not wrong," Finka put her fingers on her chin, and whispered in Tachanka's ear, "I am one of them."

"See?" Tachanka whispered back, "And we'll posture ourselves as such, so you don't have to."

"…Fair enough," She blushed, "It's not the most moral decision, but speaking of morals, Lion's been injured."

It was CQC practice in the boxing area and Lion and Bandit were duking it out. Bandit was incredibly ferocious today, taking more punches than usual. Lion dodged back and forth and landed a few on the other. Bandit didn't care, as he shook them off and kept punching.

"What's up your ass?" Lion chuckled, dodging in rhythm.

"You're awfully slow," Bandit tersely replied.

"Oh, come on," The atoner chuckled some more, "What is it? You can tell me."

"You already know."

"No, really I don't."

"No."

"Please?"

"I will not."

"Pleeeeease?"

"NO." Bandit gave an undercut to the atoner's shit-eating face, causing him to collapse onto the floor, giving a loud, dry, echoing smack, "You already know." He came in closer to his face, and then unceremoniously walked away.

"I don't think he's breathing," Sledge casually said, checking Lion's face, "Oh, wait, there it is."

"Well I did my part," The German walked away, wiping the sweat off his brow. He then turned to Blitz, who was on the bench, unmoving, "I'm… sorry, Elias."

"I don't need your fucking pity," Blitz droned, monotone.

"Hey, hey," Bandit gave a mild pat on the shoulder, "You'll get through this. On the bright side, at least I saw it loud and clear. God knows what schisse you'd do if you saw it."

"That doctor's gonna pay…" Blitz started with a growl.

"It's unfortunate, but he's going to be the one to heal Lion here," IQ joined in, wearing her green dance uniform.

"Good."

"Greetings, brahtan!" Tachanka burst into the room, with the rest of the Spetznaz following him.

"Ooooh Lion's fucked up," Fuze laughed. Glaz took out his sketchbook, went into the ring, and started to sketch out Lion's form.

"…Pugilism," Kapkan scoffed.

"Where is the doctor; he should be coming any time soon?" Tachanka asked.

"My question exactly," Sledge agreed.

At Mute's notification, Doc rushed out of his office. Lab coat and medical bag in hand, he went towards the boxing room. Mute then locked the door behind him. Doc then asked everyone to clear out of the way, hopping into the ring. As much as his relationship with Lion was rocky, he wouldn't neglect him. He started to check his vitals: blood pressure, pulse, breathing, heart rate, and eyes. Seeing that it was all normal, he started to drag Lion out of the ring.

Only for him to suddenly wake up and give him an uppercut. Doc landed on his back, swearing all the way down.

"Merde! Of course you'd fake it!" He looked up at Lion, who was now standing up and pounding a fist into his palm.

"I've been waiting for this day, Gustave!" Lion cackled, now picking Doc up and holding him up by the arms, "I swear the day you slip will be the best day of my life, and here it is!" He broke into an evil laugh, "Anyone care to take a swing?" There was a glint in his eye as Doc struggled to get out, but Lion's strength restrained him.

"Me first!" Blitz got up and undid his jacket, revealing a wifebeater and sweatpants. He turned to Doc, "What kind of logic do you have to sleep with Rook? The Rook I'm with? Did you think fucking him would solve your problems?"

Doc's eyes widened and he stared wordlessly at Blitz, "I needed him. I'm sorry."

"THE HELL HE DOESN'T!" Blitz snapped, letting out a barrage of punches, "HE WAS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND AND YOU FUCKED HIM! YOU FORCED YOURSELF ON HIM! Yet you think you're hot shit because you're a rich doctor who did Doctors Without Borders. Doubly so that you're Rook's best friend. Well guess fucking what? YOU AREN'T! You fucking aren't… You act like you're the savior of Team Rainbow. WELL BULL FUCKING SHIT!" He then gave a variation of Bandit's uppercut and a swift kick in the groin, voice starting to break as he inhaled, "You're not fucking sorry, and all these mistakes, they just pile up… And worst of all, Rook was so open and so kind. He doesn't let me love him anymore. You ruined your best friend. You sir, are a shit altruist…"

Blitz turned his back and walked to a dark corner of the room, suppressing his sobs. Bandit and IQ joined him, soothing him.

"Well, who wants to go next?" Lion bellowed.

"Me," Tachanka said, getting into the now bloody and beaten Doc, "You caused Lera to almost die. That makes me angry," He gave a direct gut punch, causing the doctor's eyes to snap open and his mouth to cough blood. The Russian walked away.

"…I think you were too harsh with him," Glaz followed him, "I don't feel like drawing anymore."

"Nyet," Tachanka disagreed, "After all the shit he did, it was coming."

"Infidelity is pretty shit," Kapkan added, "Even though Blitz will be fucked for even breaking fraternization policy. I'm surprised you didn't do more."

"I think it's fitting."

Twitch emerged from the shadows, unmasked. Everyone started to whisper, shocked. She blew the stray strands of hair out of her face and walked towards Doc, head held high. Holding his chin, she looked up at him. His eyes were near death. Hers were warm with pity and contempt. She let go of his chin and knelt down to his level.

"Gus," Twitch began.

"…Emmanuelle?" Doc weakly replied. His eyes fluttered, "Are you angry?"

"Not really," Her warm smile made it sincere, however, "Mira and I fixed it."

"…I'm… sorry," Doc started to cough, "…I was being selfish. I felt neglected."

"…That's the thing. I looked up to you as a paragon of ethics. We all did. It's not that you were deprived of whatever that was. It's not how you casually let all these mistakes pile up on your person. You taught us all that all life is precious and everyone has inalienable rights. In effect, it's you. I don't know what's wrong with you and I'm afraid to guess, but… it's all you: you shooting a child, you swapping Finka's medication with said child's, and now you having sex with Rook even though he's with Blitz. I know this is a tired sentiment from your conscious, or whatever's left of it and from the rest of us at Team Rainbow, but…" Twitch put a palm up to her head, leading into a deep sigh of consequences, "You need help. Professional help. World class help. Because that's what you are to us. World class. It's still in there somewhere, you just need to find it." She stood up and walked away. Her head was buried in her hands.

Somewhere in the dark and the empty space between the operators, there was a jiggle of the lock. The jiggling went faster and faster. Until it fully stopped.

A blanket of light emerged from the door.

"What the hell is going on?"

The entirety of Rainbow Six was in the debriefing room. Six was at the main podium while Doc was at the left podium. Doc was taken immediately to the hospital, with Finka as the residing physician. After a few hours of rest and treatment, he sat up bandaged with an eyepatch. Everyone else sat in chairs facing them, with those in the gym at the front.

"Is everyone present?" Six called to order. A flurry of whispers, chair squeaks, and cell phone noises filled the room.

It all came to a hold as Vigil and Echo rushed into the back, holding hands.

"I see everyone is here," Six continued, "So we'll proceed with the hearing." She cleared her throat, shuffling documents in hand, "Today, we are all here to discuss the elephant in the room. Starting with today's events." Blitz shook in his seat, "From witnesses in the boxing area, we have a beating of our doctor, Gustave Kateb. Callsign Twitch, would you give your account please?" Twitch got up to the right podium.

She had bags under her eyes and her hair was messy. With a heavy sigh, she began her testimony, "Apparently Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, Mute, and Blitz had planned on this. Bandit and Lion were having a boxing match and Bandit knocked out Lion. Mute asked for medical help and Doc came. He then locked the door. Lion apparently faked being unconscious and hit and restrained Gustave. He then offered him to anyone who wanted to punch him. Blitz came in with a flurry of punches while Tachanka punched him once. I talked to him only about his issues. He came in my scrapbook… I don't want to talk about it any further-" She started to hyperventilate and ran back to her seat. Mira held her as she broke down.

"A clear witness account. Before we let the men plead guilty, I want to know what drove this premeditated beating," Six replied, "This month has been rough on all of us. Mute, I'll let you come first." Mute took his place on the podium.

"If you want to know my motive," Mute mumbled through the mask, "Doc shot a child. Who the fuck shoots a child?"

"For your information, that was already fixed! The child is alive and healthy," Doc defended himself.

"It doesn't matter Doc! That's unacceptable at any angle!" Mute countered, "The media would kill us quick if they learned. That's a goddamn liability-"

"Enough, Mute!" Six cut him off, "Do you plead guilty?"

"Yes!" Mute curtly answered, "It's a violation I'd take." He threw his hands up in the air and sat down.

"Lion, you're next."

"You see, mademoiselle," Lion took Mute's place, starting with a haughty air, "I do not have the best relationship with ze doctor here. So I was willing to aid in this beating of justice-"

"Lion, NO!" Rook interrupted, "Doc's actions don't excuse yours, Lion!"

"Shut it, fuck toy!" Lion hurled the insult loudly. Rook sat down heavily in a huff, arms crossed and fuming.

"Language!" Six intercepted, "Of course you're guilty, Lion. Sit down."

"At least I own my sins," Lion walked off, tagging in Tachanka on the podium.

"…And what is it this time, Tachanka?"

"…He swapped Finka's medication for the child's. He's the reason why she froze in Mosul. I'll take whatever charge," Tachanka sat down. Bandit went up next.

"What is your issue here Bandit?"

"I…" Bandit stammered, eyes on the ground, "I witnessed infidelity and felt incredibly offended on Blitz's part. I felt like I had to do something. Why are you punishing us, Six?"

"…I understand the host of issues that Doc has stirred up, but in this environment, mob justice isn't the solution," Six gave a heavy sigh, "I'm conflicted, but regulations are regulations. Blitz, you're up next."

Bandit walked off the podium, only to have it filled by Blitz. "I know Rook and I are a violation of the fraternization policy. But it's so goddamn obvious. You even see it." Blitz breathed through clenched teeth, "It's not right that Gustave here had his way with Rook. It's not fucking right."

"Elias, I'm sorry but it isn't like that," Rook interrupted again, "As Twitch said, he's not completely bad."

"You didn't have to cheat, Julien!" Blitz yelled back, "It hurt to see you and Doc in the same bed after I come back from Munich."

"There was some issues that I solved wrong, yes-"

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO IT RIGHT?"

"ENOUGH!" Six moderated with an iron fist, "All of you are guilty. Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, and Mute for a count of premeditated assault. Blitz for premeditated assault and a fraternization violation. And Doc… Where do I begin with you? Sexual misdemeanor, fraternization violation, assault, and negligence!"

People burst into a gossipy whirlwind, with them whispering to each other.

Six put a swift end to it with a few pounds from her gavel. People went silent. "As I was saying, as severe as these counts are, they don't take away from your abilities as operators or your accomplishments. You are still valuable. However, the punishments need to be served. Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, and Mute have kitchen and janitorial duties for three weeks. Blitz, you have kitchen and janitorial duties for four plus house arrest for the first week. Doc, you have kitchen and janitorial duties under house arrest for six weeks. You are only allowed to practice within the halls of Herefordshire and even then, you will be monitored by a medic. You are all dismissed."