#i get good endings are just what some people prefer so they may be disappointed in playing this game without that warning

[hiddenobject-fanblog]

I've been reading some old reviews on the Big Fish Games site for Brink of Consciousness: Dorian Gray Syndrome, and I found a few recurring points that I...disagree with?

A common complaint was that (spoilers ahead, here) the protagonist loses to the villain, and people want to play games that have 'good endings', and not 'disappointments'. Call me a Villain Sympathizer or whatever (because I am), but I find it's much rarer to have a story where the villain actually wins, and to see that in a Hidden Object game of all things is extremely hard to come by.

-There is a plot hole worth mentioning in Oscar's framing of Sam that's been pointed out before -- the fact that Sam is actively carrying and using a voice recorder on his person, which you can revisit all of Oscar's dialogue with. All he would have to do is play the recordings to the authorities where Oscar confesses to the crimes, and he would be free to go, wouldn't he?

...Still, I love the surprise ending where Oscar frames Sam and succeeds in doing it. It's a complete turnaround from typical HOPAs where you're the hero and you effortlessly save a town/people/etc. But in Dorian Gray Syndrome, you get to see the protagonist face an unjustly ending despite doing everything right. It really is a 'Villain wins in the end' story, and I wish there were more like it, just to break from the usual story cliches of Hidden Object games.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: October 2024

hello, ahoy, and welcome to my October reading recap.

I made a real effort to focus on spooOOOoooky books this month, in the name of the season; you may even recall that I started early and read some spooky stories at the tail end of September. (read Carmen Maria Machado's comic The Low, Low Woods, btw.)

I've never been great at sticking to a theme but I think it helped that what gets classified as "horror" can vary greatly, so I never really got bored of the genre. I did get disappointed more than once by how Not Spooky some of these books turned out to be, but that's a totally different question.

right at the end of the month you'll notice a couple of outliers with Caped Crusade and Luster, which happened entirely because I was out of library books and on the road for a conference, so I was reading what I could get my hands on! I've been working on rereading Caped Crusade on and off for a couple months and I bought Luster at a cool indie bookstore in the town I was visiting and then inhaled most of it on the way home.

ANYWAY. to the books!

And Then I Woke Up (Malcolm Devlin, 2022) - this is a novella with an interesting spin on the zombie story, where the "zombies" are actually people who have started suffering hallucinations that fill them with paranoia and force them see other people as monsters. so, like, there were never any REAL monsters, but a woman looked at her young son and saw him as a cannibalistic monster, so she killed him. so who's the real monster? it's very deep. this story's explanation for this is "the narrative," an idea so strong that it simply seems to take hold of anyone who's around a sufficiently charismatic ringleader who drives them to join in their delusions and kill innocents who don't share their worldview. it's not a super subtle zombie metaphor, but I guess very few zombie metaphors are. it's fine.

Through the Woods (Emily Carroll, 2014) - I truly wholeheartedly wish I had more to say about this but it's just a very charming creepy collection of comics. my favorite was the one that was the scariest, involving humans getting taken over by body-snatching worm monsters, but on the whole it was a very minor creepy factor. the art's great the whole way through.

Happy Medium (Sarah Adler, 2024) - Happy Medium is October's romance novel as picked by my patreonites, and I will admit: my hopes were not high going in. a conwoman posing as a psychic clashing with a skeptical hottie goat farmer didn't ping me as a great mix, but honestly? HONESTLY? it kind of served. there was a much more well-rounded emotional core to this book than I often encounter in my romance novels; at risk of sounding like a cornball it genuinely had a lot of heart. the conwoman is actually extremely charming, I was rooting for her in a big way, and her emotional journey goes so far beyond just falling in love with the goat farmer. I'll happily claim Happy Medium as my #1 romance of the year unless a challenger arises in the next two months, but it's not looking likely.

The Ones That Got Away (Stephen Graham Jones, 2010) - this is a collection of Graham's short stories that was published long before he became a huge name in horror with books like The Only Good Indians and My Heart Is a Chainsaw. and as much as I hate to say it, I think I personally prefer his longer form fiction. none of these short stories were bad, per se, and they're incredibly stylized and polished, but I think I like Jones' work a lot more when it has time to simmer out. I may have also been biased by the fact that I was desperately seeking something scary to read, because while Jones plays with some pretty narsty concepts, the horror tends not to hit until a last page reveal that recontextualizes everything that's come before. which is cool! but not scaring me as much as I wish it was.

The Salt Grows Heavy (Cassandra Khaw, 2023) - a lot of people told me I should read this because it stars a killer mermaid and a plague doctor, which are two aesthetic archetypes I love, and I will give this to Cassandra Khaw: I liked this a lot more than their other book, Nothing But Blackened Teeth. which is clearing a very low bar, since I didn't really like that book at all, but I do think Salt is genuinely a pretty marked improvement. the prose is still kind of torturously overwrought in many places and I desperately wish that Khaw would put the thesaurus away, but there's like. a Concept here. the core is fun.

Tell Me I'm Worthless (Alison Rumfitt, 2021) - this book is by far the scariest I read, because the horror is hatred and bigotry and a fucked up, evil house that brings out the very worst of everyone who steps inside of it. this book gets so fucked up and bloody and downright nasty in its exploration of the characters and the underlying bigotries that turn them against each other and drive them apart. I don't want to spoil anything, but the book follows a white trans woman named Alice and her mixed race, cis ex-girlfriend Ila. in the past Alice and Ila entered the evil house with their friend Hannah; that ended with Hannah dead and missing and Alice and Ila both scarred and traumatized, each certain that they were raped by the other. so that's what this book is like! not a lighthearted undertaking, but one that I could. not. put. down.

A Sunny Place for Shady People (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2024) - what is there to say? Enríquez is my short story queens, and her new release absolutely lived up to the precedent set for me by The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, which was originally published in 2009 but not translated into English until 2021. this collection is sooo aptly named, because many of the stories are obsessed with the terror of places: hotels haunted by memories, neighborhoods filled with ghosts, junkyards where bodies are hidden, towns abandoned and taken over by something sinister. also, completely detached from the quality of the writing, this book has one of the most striking covers I've encountered this year. the screaming yellow cover and bold purple text looked SO COOL under the purple string lights in my bedroom, which was a little +1 to my mood every time I saw it :)

Thirst (Marina Yuszczuk, trans. Heather Cleary 2024) - I think if I had to pick a favorite book from my spooktober reading, Thirst would edge Tell Me I'm Worthless out by just a hair, because I'm just SUCH a sucker for a modern gothic. this novel is split into two chunks. the first is narrated by a vampire (hinted to be one of Dracula's infamous brides) who flees the Old World and crosses the sea to find safety in a young Buenos Aires, where she struggles to figure out how to slake her thirst and escape from loneliness while avoiding detection in a modernizing world. ultimately she seals herself away in a crypt to escape the relentless pace of change around her, and that's when our perspective shifts. here we join a modern woman with a young son, an ex husband, and a dying mother, who's struggling under the pressure of grief as she watches her mother waste away. she ends up accidentally reawakening the vampire from the first half of the book, and you can imagine things get weirder from there. honestly, for me, the part of this book that's most brilliant is the latter half and it's deep meditation on grief, but the historical portion of the book also plays the vampire gothic to the hilt. delicious!

The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture (Glen Weldon, 2016) - this is a really fun piece of pop culture history, tracking how Batman came to be DC's little #1 it boy alongside the developing prominence of nerds and fandom as a cultural force to be reckoned with. as I said above, this was a reread for me, because I wanted to circle back now that I've actually read most of the major comic events discussed in the book. Weldon weaves between Batman in comics, TV, and movies to examine on how one portrayal influences another - for instance: the goofy '66 TV series saw a huge backlash in comics, which went way dark to reinforce a grim and serious Batman for 'real' fans who objected to the show making Batman a joke to much of the normie population - and I think that's a really neat lineage to trace. while I think Weldon is sometimes a bit too transparent with his own disdain for certain adaptations, he overall has an extremely levelheaded approach to Batfandom and a conversationally informative approach that I really enjoy. of particular note is the fact that Weldon is himself a gay man, making him one of the only writers I trust to talk about why he personally dislikes Joel Schmacher's movies without getting homophobic about it.

Luster (Raven Leilani, 2020) - this book!!! this was one of three novels recommended to me by Bonnie at Snowbound Books, and Bonnie if you are on this website I owe you my LIFE because you were 100% correct. I was obsessed from the very first line and it only gets better from there; Leilani's prose is painting a searing, witty Sistine Chapel to render her protagonist's miserable life in vivid color and detail. the short version is that our 23 year old hot mess finds herself jobless and homeless and ends up moving in with her married boyfriend who's 23 years her senior, where she forms a powerfully weird connection with his rage-filled wife and develops a bond with the couple's nerdy adopted daughter, as the two of them are the only Black women in the excessively white neighborhood. (spoiler alert: she also realizes that her married boyfriend is a fucking loser.) it's a simple enough premise but the execution is bananas in its flair. I couldn't believe this is Leilani's first and so far only novel; if she ever drops another I'll drag myself through barbed wire to get my hands on it.

Juniper & Thorn (Ava Reid, 2022) - I first became aware of this novel via twitter thread of Reid's that made its way to tumblr, in which Reid bemoaned being harangued by readers who were shocked that her dark fairy tale retelling had, you know, dark shit in it. having now read the book, I have to say: these people are fucking pussies. going into this book I was under the impression that there was full on-page father/daughter rape happening, which is actually NOT the case, so you can breathe easy if incest is a hard no for you. what's actually here is a wizard dad who's emotionally abusive, non-incestuous sexual abuse in the backstories of the main character and her love interest, some moderately explicit consensual sex, some bulimia, and [spoiler alert!] admittedly a lot more cannibalism than expected. it's not a lighthearted romp but it's also like, come on. come on. grow up. in terms of the actual book, rather than its controversy, I didn't LOVE it but I'm still compelled enough by the world building (particularly Jewish author Reid's Hueli people, who are a fairly obvious stand-in for Jews down to people claiming that they have horns and using phrenology to prove the have an unfair advantage at making money) that I'm going to check out Reid's earlier novel, The Wolf and the Woodsman, a novel set in the same world. it felt a little repetitive in places and the characters were largely pretty predictable, both of which may be a byproduct of trying to encapsulate the vibe of a classic fairy tale, but I had a good time reading it.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Jonathan Pine

Summary: Jonathan Pine is very nice to work for but you've been fooled before.

Warnings: Age discrimination, Bullying.

A/N: Reader is 40+ years old and female. No physical descriptors used.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Jonathan stuck around in CEO Levinson's office after Lloyd stomped off in a fit. He was always one to wait until being properly dismissed.

Ari shakes his head, "alright, how about we go visit your department?"

"Of course, Mr. Levinson," Pine smiles.

He sends you a quick text to inform you that they're on their way. He used to be nervous about these sorts of things. Previous assistants have either failed to read his messages or were too distracted to prepare for such a visit. But with you, he has every confidence that you'll have coffee, tea and the preferred snacks of Mr. Levinson and his assistant, Mr. Smith.

Sure enough, as they entered the IT area, you were ready.

"Here is your Moroccan spiced coffee with a side of ma'amoul, Mr. Levinson," you smile. "And your Earl Grey, plain, with some rich tea biscuits, Mr. Smith. They might not be as good compared to what you get overseas but I have every confidence in the abilities of our local establishments."

Ari takes a sip and moans. "You place your faith in the right people." He gives you a wink before heading into Jonathan's office with him, Raymond staying out with you.

"Are you not joining them, Mr. Smith?"

"I have been asked to stay outside for this particular meeting," he tells you. "He alternates sipping his tea and eating one of the biscuits. "I must say, you do have quite the taste. You are correct that nothing compares to the comfort of home however these are clearly made by someone who knows what they are doing."

"Thank you, Mr. Smith," you smile. "Would you like to have a seat, then? I'm not sure how long this meeting will actually go."

"Please, call me Raymond. And thank you for the offer." Raymond sits across from you at your desk. "I do hope you will sit as well."

"Of course, Mr.--Raymond. Of course, Raymond."

After you sit, Raymond pulls himself closer to you. "I have been asked to stay outside for this meeting so that I may speak with you alone."

"Is...is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. In fact, it is possibly something very good," Raymond is quick to reassure. "I have found myself, unfortunately, falling a bit short in aiding Mr. Levinson with both his work and home matters. As I travel with him, his manor and its care have slowly become...lacking," Raymond sighs, clearly disappointed with himself. "With his permission, I have begun looking at potential housekeepers. You were one of the first people that came to mind for the position."

You gasp at this information. "I...may I ask why?"

"Simply put, your competency. Like myself, you are very good at your job. Mr. Pine has the jealousy of all of the other managers in this company." Heat rushes to your face as you consider this. "I have also taken the liberty of looking into your previous employers," he continues. "While their reasoning for firing you may have been technically legal, the circumstances are dubious. What was exceptionally clear, however, was the drop in quality and business soon after you left. Clearly you were carrying those previous employers."

"Would...would you be willing to email me the, the details of the job?" you ask. "I'd like to know what I'd be getting myself into."

"Of course," Raymond nods. "I will have it for you by the end of the day, along with the salary and benefits information."

"Thank you, Raymond."

"I have to tell you, Jonathan, you're assistant is something else." Levinson takes another sip of the delightful spiced coffee.

"Yes, she has been an exceptional boon to my work," Jonathan nods.

"Has she ever given you any problems?"

"She has always ever been professional."

"Just professional?"

Jonathan furrows his brows, "yes."

"So the two of you have no personal relationship?"

"Not as such," Jonathan confesses. "May I ask what this is about?"

Ari rubs the back of his head. It's tactic he's used before to make himself seem apologetic but Jonathan knows better. "Well, I'm need of another assistant. Raymond is overworked and some things are falling through the cracks. Your girl there is one of my top considerations. If there was something between the two of you, I would immediately drop her from the list, I'm not going to break a relationship. But if it's only professional, I'll keep her in the consideration until she says she's not interested."

Jonathan's blood freezes. It would be quite the move up for you but he knows your absence would hurt him more than just professionally. "Who am I to stand in her way?" is the most diplomatic response he can make.

Tagging @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @peyton-warren @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare

@lokislady82

[vivalarevolution]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓯'𝓼 𝓓𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻

Jake Sully x Metkayina Reader x Neytiri

Request: „I was kinda thinking of Jake x reader x Neytiri like a poly relationship. Like how they are during sex or maybe a cute one on how they are with aftercare. Do Jake and neytiri work together on the after care?‟

A/N: The idea from anon, whom I send my regards, his/her honesty and directness made me laugh.

Work can be touchy for people who take the age gap quite seriously (reader is of age) , but I prefer to warn you beforehand. Nevertheless, I hope you all will enjoy the work and read it with pleasure.

Remember that english is not my native language, mistakes can happen. Also is a smut so minors do not interact with it.

Part 2

*Some people may have already seen this work, but due to technical problems it did not show for a long time.

What she was doing was so bad and wrong, but she felt so good about it.

The touches on her skin, lips gliding over her body, and gentle words whispered in her ear that made her blush constantly were too addicting to stop.

So she didn't dare to disrupt any of it. Staring at the man between her thighs , who held nothing more then a hunger and lust in his eyes.

Jake held her hips, pinning them to the ground. Her legs involuntarily entwined around his neck, inviting him closer, while her hands held tightly those of Neytiri, who gently rubbed their cheeks together in an act of comfort, occasionally kissing her cheekbones or temples.

His tongue was warm and wet between her folds. Tasting her as if she was the sweetest of fruits. A young woman could compare him to a starve man by the fact with what fervor he devoured her womanhood.

And when Neytiri began to mark her neck and shoulders with wet kisses while her husband did the same to her clitoris ,Y/n quickly became numb.

Amount of attention she was getting was beyond her small body, but she didn't want this moment to end, oh no.

The contrast between softness and roughness was changing so rapidly that she no longer knew what was real, and she secretly loved it.

-I wonder what your parents would say - Sully muttered lowly, spitting on her labia, rubbing the sticky substance with his finger, sending a shiver down her spine - Seeing their sweet daughter, corrupt, spreading her legs for strangers.

Y/n whimpered softly, her inner thighs tightening around his head. This words had more of an effect on her than they should have.

-My Jake, don't be mean to our sweet girl - Neytiri admonished him, stroking the girl's thick locks.

Man just let out a murmur from his mouth, slowly approaching her face like a predator, running his thumb over her bottom lip, her legs still up giving her the feeling of being even more exposed than before.

-But she doesn't mind, right baby girl? - he asked, looking intensely into her blue eyes.

-No, daddy - she replied, her lips parting at the end of the sentence, looking even more innocent now.

-Good girl - he said pleased, returning to his previous position.

Jake licked and kissed her womanhood, hooking his tongue against her entrance again and again, feeling more of her juices flowing out of it, which he drank greedily, growling and purring as he tasted her on his lips.

-You don't have to always agree with him - Neytiri suddenly whispered in her ear - He likes to be in control - she added, looking at her husband out of the corner of her eye, knowing that he was listening.

-I don't want to disappoint him - Y/n confessed looking at the woman, oh so sweetly , that she couldn't help but kiss her soft mouth.

Girl was engulfed in a kiss, clasping her mate's arms as best she could, trying to get closer, even though her position prevented it. Arching her back, she moaned into her mouth as two fingers of the avatar entered her canal, pushing in her slowly, filling her in such a delicious way.

-That's right - he growled from between her legs, seeing her walls greet him contentedly, tightening on him almost instantly, - Your pussy is squeezing daddy's fingers so hard. I just put them in, but you're already close, aren't you? - he asked, and when he didn't get an answer, he hit her clitoris, causing her to break away from his wife's mouth with a squeak.

-Daddy! -she moaned, but only got another slap - Yes, I'm so close, please!

-Give me everything - he growled, shoving a third finger inside - Now.

As if on cue, the walls of her womanhood tightened impossibly hard, making Jake unable to move his hand. His tongue greedily licked her climax, gliding his fangs along her swollen folds, causing her loins to move uncontrollably due to overstimulation.

-Too much - she whimpered with tears in her eyes, trying to pull away, but a large hand on her leg prevented her from escaping.

-You can take it - he claimed from between her thighs - You are a good girl, then behave like one, or I will punish you.

Y/n lowered her eyes, then timidly looked at him with half-closed eyelids.

-I want to ride your face, daddy - she confessed softly.

He eyed her, however it truly felt like he was devouring her with his gaze. But despite this, Sully straightened up, moving away from both women.

-A moment ago you said it was too much - he remarked, teasing her.

-Please - she said with a hint of question in her voice, looking at him with big doe eyes, snuggling into Neytiri to make her look smaller, more fragile.

Woman embraced her, also waiting for his decision. Her hands caressed her thighs, which showed the marks of their mate's hands from gripping her delicate skin too hard.

Jake settled down on the mat beneath them. Turning his head towards the two na'vi, he patted the floor beside him in an act of summoning.

-Come baby girl - he said to Y/n, who crawled over to him on unsteady legs, kissing his lips before placing her legs on either side of his head, being careful of his hair and their braids tied together.

Girl slowly lowered herself to the level where the man's mouth tickled her wet femininity, not wanting to hurt him, but he grabbed her firm thighs and with a strong, powerful movement lowered her so that she was actually sitting on his face.

-Ah - she sighed, feeling his nose and the way it rubbed against all the right places.

-Go on, ride daddy's face - Neytiri encouraged her in a warm tone, sitting down in front of her to see her facial expressions well.

Y/n began to move back and forth, still watching the man's reactions out of the corner of her eye.

-So good ,mommy - she whispered, closing her eyes, moaning timidly from time to time.

-Yes? - she asked, stroking her face - Here, hold my hands ,sweet girl - she added, joining their hands together.

Young woman, absorbed by the pleasant sensation, closed her eyes completely, opening her mouth in blissful delight.

Jake watched her the whole time, how her ample breasts moved and how her hair fell with every movement of her head. Under his fingers he could feel her loins move, which he began to guide himself, needing to feel more. The feeling of her womanhood against his tongue and against his nose was too good and tempting. While licking her, he traced his name on her labia and clitoris.

Minute by minute, Y/n's power faded, giving way to the male's dominance, who moved her body as he wished, growling and moaning as he devoured her, his tongue entering her core.

-Atta girl - he murmured, squeezing her hips - Give me one more, come on, be good to daddy.

She moaned loudly in response, clasping her fingers tighter on Neytiri's hands who was kissing away her tears that were now adorning her cheeks from the amount of pleasure that flowed through her body.

-I...I - she tried to form a sentence, but before she could explain what she meant, she squirted straight into her lover's face, clenching her thighs tightly, which trembled so much that she almost fell forward if not for the woman in front of her.

-Shh, shh my sweet - the woman whispered soothingly in her ear, stroking her dark locks - You did a great job.

-Thank you, mommy - she replied, closing her eyes as she felt Jake's tongue still move between her thighs.

-You're going to help daddy now, aren't you? - she asked, taking her face in her hands.

Y/n nodded.

Coming down from the man's face with a slight resistance from him, she got on all fours. She pushed her hips up while her upper body lay flat on the floor beneath her. Her tail waved lazily from side to side, as did her pelvis, inviting Jake to use her.

Turning her head towards her two lovers, she watched as Neytri tasted her husband's lips, purring contentedly, tasting both of her mates.

-Do you want me to make you fell good too, mommy? - she asked as the woman knelt down next to her, running her long fingers along her spine.

-I feel the same as you, sweet girl - she remarked, pointing to their kurus - But no, not today, today is about you.

The avatar smirked at the sight before his warm hands covered her waist, pulling her closer. His large, thick manhood slid over her wet, swollen folds, occasionally snagging against her entrance, which closed every time his member's head was close.

-Please, daddy - girl whimpered -I need to feel you inside me.

Jake directed his manhood in the right direction before he entered her in one, sure and strong movement, filling her to the brim. Her mouth opened and all sorts of pleasure sounds spilled out of her throat as she felt him deep inside her, so deep she thought he was in her belly.

Their hips rutted against each other and wet slaps resounded shamelessly across the tent.

She moaned loudly, her body already physically exhausted, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her legs ache and her back burned from the way he has been arching her.

-Daddy - she mewls with her eyes closed.

-That good, huh, baby girl? - he let out a low chuckle, pressing her waist even tighter, increasing the arch of her body, his thumbs gently rubbing her soft skin, contrasting with the way he fucked her womanhood like an animal in heat.

-Mhm, so good, daddy - she confessed, trying to keep her body from falling completely down.

Man grabbed her bum, squeezing it so that the skin poured out from under his fingers, leaving the imprint of his hand behind him. This little play with her ass made her insides clench tighter around his member, announcing how close she was.

-I can feel you clenching - he growled against her ear, after a moment slapping her right asscheek, watching it jiggle under the impact.

-Yes, daddy, please harder ,fuck me harder - she said, laying her head heavily on the ground.

-Daddy's got you, just let go - he assured her, suddenly sounding tender, moving inside her so hard and deep she could have sworn she felt him in her throat.

Y/n came with a groan muffled by her hand, gushing from her inside again, soaking thighs, abdomen and manhood of the man behind her.

Panting, her eyes closed lazily as she fought the exhaustion that started overtooking her body. As her womb was flooded by the familiar warmth of Jake's cum, she whimpered softly as the heat spread through her, decorating her gummy walls white.

-Oh, my sweet girl - whispered Neytiri, taking her in her arms, leaning Y/n on her breasts - Rest now, me and my Jake will take care of the rest - she assured, stroking her inner thigh, wet and sticky from previous activities.

-I have to go home, my parents will start to worry - she remarked stubbornly, but the woman's body was so pleasantly soothing.

-You'll rest first, okay? - Jake said, stroking her sweaty face with his hand - I won't let you go home like this, what will they say to such a state of chief's daughter?

-Hmm - Y/n only muttered, snuggling into the body of her mate - We're still arguing, so I don't know if I care about their opinion - she said, obediently opening her legs as Sully approached her with a clean, slightly damp cloth to wipe off the mess - But I feel better now, thank you for helping me forgetting about it , even slightly.

-Anytime baby girl - he promised, trying to wash her thoroughly.

-Gently - Neytiri hissed, seeing how the girl's body trembles - She is very sensitive - she noticed, taking the fabric from her husband to clean her femininity herself.

-I'm sorry - he confessed, suddenly flustered by the woman's attitude.

Y/n laughed softly, looking with a lazy smile at the picture in front of her. Her hands rested on the shoulder of the dark-haired na'vi, kissing the skin on her collarbones, only to try to catch Jake a moment later, who, seeing her efforts, bent down to kiss her swollen lips from Neytiri's kisses.

Her hands cupped his cheeks, savoring the moment.

Without interrupting the caress, he grabbed her waist, laying her on a new, clean mat, Neytiri soon joined them, hugging the young woman's body, holding her close to her.

Jake joined them fully after cleaning up all traces of their lovemaking, burying both women in his strong, muscular arms.

It was the middle of the day, but the feeling of warmth from her two lovers was too tempting, so sleep came to her and cunningly took over her body, making her forget about all her worries and problems.

As long as she had her mates with her, she really couldn't care less. Even when the consequences could have been lurking just around the corner.

[harmonysanreads]

Imagine... yandere!vampire!al haitham because this mv's been tormenting me with brainrot for MONTHS and I need to talk about it — and you know what? Let's make it modern-ish mafia au as well because yes.

cw(s): yandere, stalking, mentions of blood and murder, mild gore at the end. proceed with caution.

art credit↬MiotaWorks on twitter.

「 au masterlist 」

In the surface, what appears to be the quaint and picturesque city of Teyvat, betrays its proclaimed perfection every time the sky rolls its curtain of stars, and Alhaitham was better acquainted with this change in appearance than his own kin.

That's not to say people of the daylight are completely ignorant though, there are always whispers and mutters of the undead who rule the night, traversing and hunting for unfortunate preys — and such stories usually get dismissed as mere fantasy. Therefore, the human kind's own fears serve as effortless camouflage for Alhaitham, he cannot even think of it as anything more as the humor in the stories lost their tincture decades ago.

Contrary to popular human belief, he and his kind are much more sophisticated, powerful (of course) and tasteful in their way of living. If they were not, the little tale-weaving populace would've been wiped off long ago. It's only due to the lower ranks' occasional immaturity do such ridiculous rumours even spread. Alhaitham digresses, after all, one of the most disappointing realization of his existence was that not everything will be to his preference. He wouldn't deny that some parts of their fantasies are correct and by which he ascertains the part where you shouldn't be loitering in the streets at the dead of the night, not in fear of the inhuman creatures solely, oh dear no, but also because of the monsters amongst the humankind.

That being said, Alhaitham would say he had been living a ‘fairly descent’ existence thus far. His preferred position in the Vampire Lords' ranks (high, but not so high for him to be swarmed with expectations) with a handsome wage and perhaps a little-too-vacant place (not to worry for he fills it regularly with books... Or tries to) to rest. Sure, there were some loses that may have altered his perception of life here and there but he's all good. Life was great for Alhaitham, until, a particular mission would challenge his peace.

He had been a little confused then, for, disposing of troublesome individuals was Cyno's line of work but by whatever came upon the Vampire Lords that day, he was chosen for this certain job. Alhaitham may not be a soldier but he has his ways to deal with people as well, it's just that he'd rather not dirty his hands unless absolutely necessary. What the vampire failed to comprehend was why an ordinary citizen should be held accountable for someone else's crimes. This bemusement is further amplified upon his first encounter with you ; it was the person who was actually responsible for crimes against the Vampire Lords' funeral and lo and behold, you're the only living relative of said person, who, Alhaitham was ordered to get rid off.

Still, for the sake of the mission, he decided to approach and ignite a casual conversation with you and be done with the job in the spur of that moment. After all, the quicker he gets this done, the quicker he could get back to resuming where he left of in his book. He did get to return to his book at the end albeit, half-lost, an endearing conversation to look back to, the failure of being unable to inflict a single scratch on you and one single, innocent parting comment from you echoing in his head.

You'd look great in red.

From then on, instances of him watching (waiting for an opportunity to strike) you kept on spiraling into sweet little encounters where the outcome was always his knife left dry and maybe, although he'd not admit, a strange warmth tingling in his unbeating heart which he was sure he'd lost long, long ago. Alright, looks like a head-on approach is vastly ineffective in this scenario, time for a change of strategy — so he opted to take your life at the dead of the night where you'd be the most defenseless.

Alhaitham was certain this would work, this had to work. Fast forward to a couple of months, he ponders while wiping his hands from the residue scarlet ; utterly utterly defeated by a mere mortal who'd done nothing yet still managed to give him the biggest frustration of the century. Turns out, every night where he creeped through your window with the determination to kill would either 1. turn into him losing track of the time distracted by your peaceful visage and having to leave at the cues of dawn 2. being distracted by the surroundings because, oh, how your home reminded him of his ; empty and lonely — how you reminded him of himself and with the amount of times he'd opted to take your life but instead found more reason not to made it seem as if.. as if the universe itself was beckoning you to be together.

What nonsense. Alhaitham at first dismissed it with fervour, much more intent on finding the logical cause. But as weeks turned into months and the deadline grew nearer, the tickles of affections turned into vicious thorns that constantly jabbed at his dead heart and manifested in the form of yet again another body discarded — he became more and more unsure of how to rationalize this situation.

Alhaitham was more than a little confused now, if the Vampire Lords' desparation to wipe your existence was anything to go by ; sending lower ranked and burdensomely ambitious agents behind his back even so. Not like Alhaitham allowed them to harm  even a strand of your hair, but, he certainly found himself angry to an extent. You were his target, his prey, so sending interferences pricked his pride. It also doesn't help that he'd managed to find nothing to charge you guilty ; from the files the Mafia had, from direct observations, from ravaging your house at night—nothing, absolutely nothing. You appeared as innocent as a newborn child, unlike your relative. While Alhaitham is well aware that debts to the Vampire Mafia do tend to fall on the person's closest after passing, he really, logically, does not see any reason to punish you.

So the work was procrastinated, anyone who came in between simply removed and before long, your appointed murderer became your protector. All the while his brilliant mind kept on searching for solutions, solutions to save you from their clutches as he, yet again, drinks in your serene face instead, resisting the urge to sink his fangs on your supple skin. He'd been inattentive to his state of mind although, which continued to rot in obsession and twisted logic.

All it took for him to finally snap was the next (and last) agent sent your way.

Another rookie with more ambition and arrogance than wit, though what differed him from the previous brainless brutes was his approach ; the creature had attempted to use your loneliness against you and worm his way into your heart to rip it from the inside, smooth-talking, faux comforting. You'd fallen to the trap to a degree too and it made Alhaitham feel displeased in all forms possible. He should've ended the nuisance ages ago but he won't deny that this is definitely better.

As Alhaitham predicted, the fool decided to finally lure you to a secluded crevice of the city, deep into the night and then, jump at your defenseless form. You could only watch quivering as he was yanked with incredible force and smashed, smashed, smashed against the pavement with inhuman strength til he was nothing but a mess of ribs, grinded bones and splatter of blood.

Oh, Alhaitham hadn't felt this much joy in a while. Turning to glance at your petrified form on the pavement, the absolutely mortified look flashing through your eyes.. the solution to the months long dillema finally came. A step forward, you flinch violently, too tired to beg for your life. The vampire crouches to your level, his manic eyes pinning you to your place.

“Sshh, I won't hurt you.”

You hadn't even felt the tears starting to cascade down your cheek until his blood-drenched hand went to wipe them away, cradling your face with a gentleness that mocked his previous aggression. The Vampire Lords had told him to ‘get rid of you’... no one specified he'd have to kill you to get rid of you from their gazes though.

The monster before you painfully squeezes your cheeks together, only a fraction of the insanity swirling through his head made apparent by the action. All his crazed whispers of affection fall on deaf ears, he swears he'll never allow anyone or anything to hurt you, take you away but all you can think of is who'll save you from him.

You'd said that he'd look great in red, but God, not this much red.

plot twist : the vampire lords were just bored and decided to play matchmaker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

any brainrot/ideas stemmed from this au is warmly, cordially welcomed in my asks

[lozfanchick]

Hello, a little bit too much obsessed with your Parent Trap Au but I really need to ask.

What is Azure's real reason to send Macaque away? Is he good, is he bad.. Is he none? What's his plan? Does he really only adore Wukong because of his wealth and population?

Is his goal to manipulate? If yes, who? Maybe just from jealousy, envy?

Thank you!

Hey again!! No worries I LOVE talking about my fic so questions and rants just make me super happy and proud!!! :DDD

So Azure in the show is manipulative. He manipulates MK into going into the scroll to get his brothers. He tries to talk MK into leaving Wukong. Plus he's the type that sees if the ends justify the means then it's worth it. I mean he destroyed the area around his paradise, but he got Camel Ridge so it was worth it (nevermind all the death literally surrounding it). And once he has his mind set then there's no changing it. In his eyes DBK and PIF are traitors, even tho PIF betrayed Heaven and has lived as a demon for a super long time. And DBK had literally just recently "retired" his demonic war-waging ways. But I guess only his people get to beat on demons and the like then betray Heaven and join the cool kids club; PIF was late so she doesn't get a seat at the table idk (can you tell this is a big issue for me lol). Anyway, he's charming and has got a lot of charisma and wields it well. So in my fic I just expanded on that.

Now to put his mindset in the fic into perspective think of the biggest current day superstar. Someone most people in the world would recognize or at least have some familiarity with the name. If that person suddenly started dating someone, everyone would then know their name and they would ROCKET up to new heights. That's a SUPER tempting promotion and seems so easy to get. Date the biggest celebrity, stay with them for awhile and then BAM you're now a known name, not just someone in the credits. That's the main goal for Azure.

And now we get into my headcannon's for Azure and Wukong in LMK:

In the show I got STRONG lionpeach vibes because I mean...Azure looking at Wukong with those eyes. BUT he only saw what he wanted to in Wukong, a strong and caring leader. But Wukong was also reckless, greedy (left his people and his island often for power and titles), and clearly was a prankster/jokester. Now I don't believe this is even shown in the show, but I think part of the reason Azure is so mad at Wukong isn't just him betraying them but him not being everything he thought Wukong was. Wukong not fitting the mold Azure's mind had him in. Wukong couldn't defeat the Jade Emperor and instead gave up (not fight till the end), Wukong wasn't strong enough to win, Wukong wasn't a leader but a follower of a human monk. So many let downs and that's why he was ready to turn on Wukong before the fight between the jttw crew and Camel Ridge crew. Yet he still loved or at least wanted Wukong or some control over him. So he didn't want Wukong dead, he just wanted him trapped and then he'd decide when to free the monkey. All this is to say that's also what I did in my fic. He may like Wukong, but he doesn't love him because Wukong isn't just a good actor, he's also a dork who prefers to eat fruit all day and has a pool even tho he can't swim and refuses to learn.

tldr: I HC that LMK Azure saw in Wukong what he wanted to see and got disappointed at the real him, so I also emulated that in my fic

[igotanidea]

Quiet: Dick Grayson x fem!reader

Stubborn like a mule, Dick would never admit he fell for a teammate. Of course everybody knows and with the amount of teasing it won't take much to push him over the edge.

Inspired by Charlie Puth;s song Charlie be quiet.

Warning: it's long :D (20.971 words!) - that part was not planned :D

Seven years ago

„Stop staring.”

„What?”

„You heard me. Stop ogling her.”

“I am not….”

“Dick.” Donna’s voice was as stern as it possibly could. Despite her best effort she was slowly losing patience with Robin’s childish play of cat and mouse. Everyone, literally everyone, team or not could say he was head over heels in love with his teammate, Y/N Y/L/N, who also happened to posses the power of blue lantern. She was the third one to join the Titans, after the corps decided that the girl, born human, had to be near Earth’s green lantern to get access to her full power. Hal, who was supposed to be her mentor trained her well for a couple of years and despite their differences they become friends. So when the green one left her at the tower, arguing that she needed friends at the same age and with similar capabilities and assuring that she could always reach him if need arises, her heart broke a little. At first she was withdrawn, intimidating and hard to understand but soon her other, lighter side emerged. One thing everyone noticed about the girl was that everytime she was indulged in things that gave her sense of fulfillment the lantern’s blue light surrounded her, making her look ethereal and beautiful. Perhaps that was the thing that quickly caught Dick’s attention. Despite their initial fights and a lot of misunderstandings and communications problem they worked through it. Of course, only for the sake of the team, nothing else. Both Dick and Y/N were individuals who hated being told what, how and when to do, but also knew when to step down. She was the one to make him stop, think and analyze the situation before acting, he helped her in developing her intuition. In no time, he found himself falling for that introverted analyst who always, always had  a plan and was way too much in her own head.

“She’s gonna figure it out. Is that what you want?” Wondergirl mocked, knowing well enough that for the last couple of years Dick was doing everything in his power to keep this infatuation a secret. In his own words, it was not wise to get into relationship with someone who could be called into space at every second. And definitely stupid to love a teammate, which may cause a distraction and damage while fighting. He just kept coming with so many dumb excuses to adore her from the distance. At this point he didn’t even bother to answer Donna’s question since it was obvious Y/N realization of the situation would be the end of him. So he kept it quiet. Y/N was that kind of person who preferred to keep the emotions at bay as well, never giving him any sign she was interested in forming a relationship, more often than not pushing people away when she was scared and worried and stressed and vulnerable. Not really talking about it but separating to gather back her strength and balance. Well, she was the blue lantern, who got power from hope, so what else could you expect.

“Did you guys want something?” said blue one turned around towards her friends “you’ve been standing there for like a quarter now and it’s getting suspicious” she mocked

“it’s fine. We were just trash-talking you” Donna smirked

“Oh thank god, I was getting worried you were saying some good stuff about me. Such a relief” she fake-brushed her forehead. “Anyway, is anyone up for some sparring? I need to keep my spark up.”

“I thought you were  supposed to recharge? I mean… meet with Hal?” Dick frowned and a shadow of disappointment crossed the girl’s face as she shook her head.

“He was called on Oa. Apparently some threat appeared in the north side of the galaxy and Green Corp needs his immediate help. Nothing new, so yeah, I’m gonna go workout. Want to join me, Grayson.”

“Nope.” He felt his heartbeat fasten. Shit, it was getting harder and harder to be around her.

“ Ok. Donna?”

“Sure. I’m game. You can never count on the boys, right.”

“Hear, hear, sister.”

Just as Donna and Y/N left, heading towards the training room, Hank appeared on the other side.

“You did it again, didn’t you?” he let out a laugh “I would love to see you breaking one day.”

“Not a chance.”

***

Four years ago

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Y/N eyes went wide the second she entered the lab at the precinct. “it’s all for me?” it took a lot of strength not to jump out in joy. When, after the Jericho incident, the Titans fell apart and everyone went their own ways, she put all her intellectual efforts into science, biology and chemistry, taking first steps on a path to become a Forensic Scientist. With her stubbornness, passion and insight she soon got to be the best in the field. Last year was spend on working with the best detectives and investigators (including detective Chloe Decker from LAPD), getting hell of a knowledge and experience. And now, she moved to new city and easily scored a job at the best precinct in the whole country.

“Yep. All yours. Take your time and when you are ready, come meet the team. It’s quite big if you ask me, may be a bit overwhelming, so at first you’ll only meet with the best of the best. Those will be your regulars.”

“Good. I’m not exactly good with people.”

Half an hour later, the girl finally left the lab equipment, the books and agents and came down to the main office of detectives. With every step the feeling of something strangely familiar of this place was consuming her more and more and that hope of good things to come made her hand glow blue. A single raise of an eyebrow of one the officers was enough to snuff it.

“Y/N! Oh, you decided to grace us with your presence.” Her boss was talking to some man, whose back was turned to her so she did not see his face. “good timing. I would like to present to you our top investigator. Meet detective Richard Grayson.”

“Wha.. what?” she stuttered a little bit, pure shock reflecting in her eyes as the man turned around his expression being a mirror reflection of hers. “Dick?”

“Y/N?” he hadn’t seen her for two freaking years. Hell, he did not contact her in any way, despite a bit of stalking to make sure she was doing fine. And after all this time his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the girl he was still in love with. Time did nothing. And she was going to work with him, again.

“Hi.” She tilted her head and smiled lightly as the first surprise passed

“You know each other?” the captain caught up on the scene happening in front of his eyes

“From the previous life.” Dick said without looking away from her. It was real, she was real and here. He got her back.

“Should I be worried then? Will your past cause any problems in professional relationship?”

“No, sir. Not at all.”

Dick Grayson was always a good liar.

***

 “Hey.”

She wasn’t even doing anything, just sitting at the desk, covered with document and samples collected from the crime scene. Her eyes were a bit puffy and red,  clear sign she did not sleep much in the last days, her thick h/c hair a perfect mess. Lack of makeup and lab’s soft light mixed with her blue aura made her look young, fragile and innocent. All those adjectives far from truth given her secret identity.

“Hey Dick.” She smiled softly, yawning and stretching “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“You are?” that was surprising. Maybe she did change during the last time he saw her. There was something more gentle in her action.

“Mhm.” She rubbed her eyes in child-like manner “I need to stand from behind this desk like now. I’m way too sore. I’m going to grab some coffee. Would you mind staying here and watching the documents? Can’t risk anyone getting the confidential information about the investigation. And since it’s yours….”

“Sure.” His heart dropped a little but he did not let it show.

“Thank you.” She hopped down from the chair and suddenly lost her balance. Dick’s instincts kicked in and he was quick to catch and hold her before she fell to the ground. For the first time since the Titans she was so close to him, yet not close enough. He wanted to embrace her fully, stroke her hair, feel her heartbeat next to his, feel her. Sad thing he couldn’t.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asked instead, unwillingly letting go.

“Not sure. I took a nap yesterday, but…”

“Y/N.”

“What?” she scoffed “to much to do. You know…. the other job…. And it’s not like you are not running around the streets dressed in red and green.”

“You….?”

“Yeah, of course I know. I observe. And did you really think I bought that story about your injuries being the effect of the latest work action? Please, I know you better than that.”

“And I know you. How’s your light doing? Hope still up?”

“Never dying. But I’m not going to lie. Given the condition of the world last two years was a rough ride. I was even summoned by the Blues.”

“You were in space, huh? Why?”

“They thought I was getting weak. Wondered if I deserve the power of the lantern. But you know, the ring know what it does. I was just cut from using it for a bit. Last week of my suspension and then I’m back at my full capabilities.”

“I’m sorry about it.” He took a step closer and grabbed her hand. She didn’t even flinch when he started caressing her palm. It was nice and comforting and moving something inside her.

“It’s fine. We learn from mistakes, right? At least some of us” she shoved him playfully killing the atmosphere in effect.

“Sit down, Y/N. I’ll fetch you coffee and then we’ll talk about my case.”

“Ok, thanks. I want…..”

“Black, no sugar. I remember.”

***

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this” Dick and Y/N were standing at the crime scene. Or rather a battlefield scene. Blood and dead bodies were everywhere reminding of horror movies, especially those where the chainsaw was used.

“I’m not an amateur, Dick and this is not my first rodeo so stop it. I’ve seen worse. In both lifes.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“It’s ok. That little protectiveness of ours is touching. And gives me a reason to mock you freely.”

“Don’t you dare” he hissed grabbing her by the waist “I can always go full Robin on you” he whispered his face centimeters from her, unwillingly leaning in, forgetting where he was, who he was and what he was doing.

“Well than, I’ll go full blue lantern on you” she smirked and wriggled from his arms “but now, I have work to do. Genetic material, my favorite kind”.

As Y/N came closer to the one of the bodies Dick was completely consumed by his own thoughts. He loved her even more now and it was getting impossible to hide it.

Two years ago

Two years of working together did not bring him any closer to confessing his feelings. Even when after night patrol he showed at her apartment to get patched up and stayed the night watching her sleep on the other side of the same bed, unable to even close an eye. Her obliviousness was no help, since she was always calling him a friend, a coworker, a team member, even a mate. It was killing him. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she muttered shifting her position  a bit. She knew he was awake and there was no point denying “how are your injuries?” she reached towards his arm covered with fresh cuts almost touching it, but stopping a few millimeters away from the skin. Luckily for him, since he knew her single touch would make him burn. He wanted to kiss her, to do more – to make her feel good, to make her his and only his…….. Dirty thought and images was now creeping in his mind “Dick?” she frowned “you are distracted, officer”. That last word and her body so close made him jump out of the bed immediately, terrified his self-control was failing him.

“I’m fine. I’m gonna get some water. Go back to sleep, you need to rest.”

“But…”

“No buts. Sleep. I’m taking the couch.”

He did not get any rest that night. Crazy dreams that could never happen were enough to keep him up.

***

She got hurt. Because of him. Because of his recklessness and distraction. He shouldn’t have left her alone. Y/N was just doing her job, securing the evidences. Every other detective was in the other room of the house when shooters came through the door, firing their guns in every possible direction. Before anyone could react three policemen where bleeding, and one was dead.

“Shit! Y/N!” Dick hissed and rushed to the place where she was hoping nothing happened. He managed to disarm three of the attackers on the way, but judging from the sound she was dealing with the fourth, doing pretty good job. Even if blue lanterns were never considered the fighters, she was an exception, years in Titans and Hal’s upraise giving her exceptional skills in hand-to-hand fight, blue constructs adding to that. She was spinning, ducking and sliding, creating blue daggers and blades, going for the win when she saw him. A second of hesitation was enough for the opponent and she ended up with a knife in her stomach and  blood flowing everywhere. The last thing she felt was a pair of strong arms embracing her and lifting her up, holding close to wide chest whispering the most cliché words – it’s gonna be ok.

And now she was on the ICU, looking small and pale in hospital bed with Dick sitting on the uncomfortable chair holding her cold hands.

“Detective Grayson?” doctor’s voice made him stand up immediately “she’s going to be fine. No serious damage was done, luckily the blade missed the organs by an inch. And this girl, she’s strong, a fighter.”

“You have no idea, doctor. Thank you.”

“Just doing my job.” The MD shrugged but smiled happily “you got couple minutes left, and then she’ll need rest.”

“Ok.” When the doctor disappeared he leaned over girl’s sleeping figure and lovingly kissed her forehead “I’ll take care of you.”

***

Year ago.

 “I need your help.”

“My help of Blue’s help?” she asked “wait, don’t answer. I know what it will be.”

“Of course you do.” she could tell he rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone line.

“So? what’s the case? Go on. I got work.”

“There’s this girl. Her name is Rachel…..”

“Wait, are you talking about the teenager that run away from the house? The one, whose mother was shot straight in the head?” Y/N voice came up an octave.

“Yes. Wait, how do you…..?”

“So it happens I’m at the crime scene, detective.”

“Right.” Of course, he should have known she would be called there right away. And he did not like the fact that he wasn’t there with her to keep her safe. He didn’t trust anyone else with that.

“Relax, Dick. Everyone’s safe and I know how to protect myself. I can’t understand why do I have to assure you of it every time you are not around. I thought you knew my killer skills.”

“I know, but remember what happened last time?”

“It was a year ago, you fool! And it was your fault.” He went quiet for a bit too long “Dick? Are you still there?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”

“I know.”

“But you’re sulking. We’ve been through this. All is forgiven and forgotten. Now, what about this Rachel girl?”

“She’s like you. She has powers. And she’s terrified.”

“she just lost her mother, no surprise with that.”

“Not only about that. There’s something dark about her. Can you come?”

“Give me an hour.”

***

“Hey, you must be Rachel? I’m  a friend of Dick.”

“Where is he?” the girl truly was terrified

“Dealing with paperwork. He asked me to watch over you.”

“I don’t think it’s safe to be around me.”

“I can handle myself. Now, since I work on the case of …. Nevermind. Can you tell me what happened?” Y/N held Rachel’s hand trying to reach for the hope inside the girl.

“I…. I……”

“I won’t push you. But I know Dick promised to help you and I’m going to make sure he keeps that promise, all right?”

“Ok. I need help…..”

***

Today

“What exactly is the case of Dick and Y/N?”  Gar could not hold back the question

“Are you asking me?” Donna raised an eyebrow at the green haired boy.

“Well you are the only one here who knows about their past.”

“Yeah, everyone can tell he’s in love with her.” Rachel added “so why does she keep pushing his limits?”

“Well it’s not my story to tell” Donna scoffed “if you want to know anything you may as well go the subject of this discussion and …..”

“So you are now talking shit about me behind my back?” Y/N leaned on the doorframe and crossed he arms “come on, I;m a big girl I can handle anything. Donna?”

“Nope. I’m out. You can talk to the kids, they seem very interested about your past.”

“Really? Why? Rachel? Gar?”

“Y/N, I love you, but I need to speak with Dick. Gar can explain. Right, Gar?” she eyed him suggestively.

“What?” he frowned but soon the realization dawned on him “oh, yeah, right, sure. I’ll explain.” Rachel and Donna nodded and left leaving Y/N with the boy.

“So, what’s up shifter?”

“Why don’t you love Dick back?” Gar blurted before realizing his words

“What?” she was taken aback “what are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” He tried to escape but she was quick to pin him back to the chair

“Oh, no, no, no, no. You are not running away from me. Talk. Now.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.” Gar raised both his hands in surrender “but how can you be so oblivious? Everyone knows he loves you and you miss all the signs!”

“that’s absurd! He’s just a friend. Which is a progress, since we were more like enemies at the beginning. And who’s everyone? And since when you are so gossiping?”

“Donna. Rachel. Kori. Me. Everyone! From what I can tell even Hank and Dawn get the message. And I’m not gossiping.” He sighed “Look Y/N, you are my best friend, you know it, right?” the girl nodded “and that’s why I care about your happiness.”

“But….”

“No, no buts. You are making two people unhappy. Three if you count me. Do you love him?”

“Gar…..”

“Do you?” he studied her face carefully, his tone now gentle. They only knew each other for a while but he already knew talking about and expressing emotions was not her stronger suit.

“I do….” She whispered looking down.

“Well I can assure you he loves you to. Why do you think Rachel went to talk to him?”

“You two are unbelievable.”

“And that’s why you love us” he grinned “now go talk to him.”

***

“Dick? Can we…. Can we talk?”

“I’m actually a bit busy.” He was tensed so his conversation with Rachel must have been emotional

“Come on, Dickie, I bet you have five minutes for me.” She came closer and put an hand on his arm from behind gently stroking his shoulder. Out of instinct he leaned more into her touch wanting more. “So, Gar talked to me.”

“About what?” he turned around making her hand drop and immediately missing the contact.

“You. And well.. um.. me being blind.”

“How so?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“You know what!”

“Well maybe I’m tired of guessing!”

“Putting the pieces of information together is your job! So quit playing!”

Instead of soft conversation they were now yelling at each other. Not how it supposed to go.

“I hate you! All those years I held it back but I hate you!”

“Really?” She mocked “what do you hate about me the most?” she started circling him like a predator

“don’t do this.” He warned, his eyes glistening

“my blue light?” she took a step letting some of the aura out “or maybe my hands?” she brushed her fingertips on his arm causing him to close his eyes

“You’re walking down a dangerous path….”

“Sure, what’s new. Oh,I know” she faked surprise “I know what you hate about me the most.” She leaned close to him “I bet it’s my lips, right?”

He didn’t answer as he could not hold back anymore and closed the distance between them crashing his lips on hers. She was right. He hated those soft pink, plump and kissable lips he was dreaming about for so long. He hated her aura, full of hope. He hated her hands that patched him up so many times and that brought him comfort and sense of safety everytime she touched him. He hated what she was doing to him, how she was messing with his head, how vulnerable she was making him, he hated…..

“I love you” he whispered pulling away, letting his arms sneak around her waist, holding her tight, not wanting to let go. “I loved you since the day you showed at the tower. I wanted you for so long.”

“Why did you hold it back? I really thought we were just friends. You were withdrawing every time I tried to…."

“Stop talking.” He pressed their lips together again, drunk on the feeling of her, craving her, tightening the embrace trying to get her closer than it was physically possible.

“Ouch, not that I’m complaining, but Dick that hurts. You’re strong, remember?” she whined as he started to crush her.

“Sorry. But I love you so fucking much. Feels good to say it.”

“Why don’t you let me try then?” she smirked locking hands on his neck and looking him straight into the eyes “Richard Grayson, I love you too. But you are an idiot! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”

“I was scared you would run away. You always displaced the emotions, so….”

“Dick, you dumbass. I am a lantern, I thrive on emotions, I just can’t let it consume me. Don’t want to turn into the red lantern, or worse – a black one. Do you know the latter drive on death?”

“Is that possible? For you to change color?"

“Don’t know, but I can’t risk it.”

“Well, I’ll make sure to provide you with hope if that’s what you need. Hope for us, for starters.”

“Ok, Mr. Grayson, so why don’t you kiss me again?”

“Gladly.” He would never get tired of holding, touching and having her. He was dead set on making up for the lost seven years.  

@somest1 @pinksirensong

[crguang]

fav hcs about kafka and black swan?

sfw? let me think… off the top of my head:

kafka not being able to cook is a favorite of mine idk why. the idea of her being terrible in the kitchen while having a picky palate is funny. at most, she can grill and boil things and make simple dishes but she can’t replicate the meals she prefers to eat and that’s just funny to me

she loves jazz. this one just makes sense to me i feel like she can listen to almost anything but if she were to control the aux some jazz would be in her playlist

she knows flower language and a bunch of pager codes

can tie a knot with her tongue

prefers calling over texting because she lowkey loves to talk. if you text her she might not answer but if you call the chances of her picking up are higher

has the habit of moving her index finger around or in circles when she’s lost in thought, like she’s conducting an orchestra

most of her favorite coats are custom made/designed

takes a whole day when she’s shopping because she’s super picky. still ends up with five bags worth of clothes and is always on the lookout for new ones no matter where she is. speaking off, everyone knows her pin cause they need to be on the lookout too (she has multiple credit cards. keeps track of each one)

her favorite lipstick color is peach with a little pink in it

gets quiet when she’s disappointed, sad or annoyed. tho she’ll also petulantly whines and tsks when she’s annoyed (my big baby)

not a words of affirmation girlie if you can’t handle her only telling you she loves you four times in a lifetime just end things😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 master at deflection, if you ask her if she loves you she’ll say shit like “isn’t it obvious?” “what do you think?” girl

SWEET TOOTH. IDC IDC she never says no to cake DIRECT FIREFLY QUOTE. she loves her lollipops

spine tattoo yup… a rose’s stem with thorns ive seen it personally

for swan let’s see…

somewhere on some planet she’s immortalized in art and doesn’t know it. for the amount of times she appears to people in reality or in dreams, i just know there’s an artist who had to draw/paint/sculpt this spirit they swear was tangible one second and disappeared the next

swan is very easy to remember because she stands out a lot by both her looks and her behaviour. people may not know that she’s a memokeeper, but she’s in a lot of people’s memories regardless

i don’t think her being a little stalker is a hc but i’m adding on to it so it kinda is… it’s one of my favorite things about her it’s just so funny to describe it that way 😭 all memokeepers are stalkers by default but swan is a very curious soul, she gets invested and ends up having to reveal herself because she just has to have an interaction with whoever she’s interested in

unlike most memokeepers, swan doesn’t discriminate in terms of what memory holds value. she sees value in everything. she’s more drawn by the feelings attached to memories than the memories themselves sometimes. a moment of quietude where nothing is said, all is still and everything is felt? so nice. she extracts it

she can call her s/o every pet name under the sun and somehow not be cringe about it. it’s a super power. maybe it’s because she’s so sexy and that voice is so sultry that if she called me some shit like “baby cakes” i’d giggle

some of her favorite moments are when her s/o is just about to fall asleep. i feel like she’d love to be the reason they get a good night’s rest and it’s story time (she loves telling stories)

a gift giverrr, since she sees value in all discarded and overlooked things it’s not rare for her to bring back objects that “have witnessed a lot” and that she thinks her s/o would like

fav cuddle position is being on the bottom with her s/o on top of her

she is soooo calm. so zen. so good at dealing with stressful people and stressful situations. not above giving her s/on a nice massage either but thats just an excuse to get her hands on them

doesn’t feel thirst or hunger but she does have a favorite drink. i dont know what it is but i know she has one ok. she was drinking a little too often with acheron

might indulge you if you ask her to show you her memokeeper tricks. mostly the stuff about her getting into tvs and billboards and paintings

loves to dance even if it’s just twirling her s/o around in the living room

smells like incense or specific candles

she lovesss touch and physical contact. always touching her s/o in some way. when they’re alone she takes off her gloves for it

i cant think of any more but i probably have a thousand that i write in unconsciously honestly

[becauseimanicequeen]

(I'm writing this after painting for 10 hours straight, so I hope it makes some sense, lol.)

I've been thinking a lot about My Stand-In while painting today, and how I have different expectations of this story than some comments I've seen here and some reactions I've watched on YouTube (I've learned my lesson to avoid MDL like the plague, so I, fortunately, have no idea what's going on there). But I especially thought about why I don't particularly mind some of the things that have happened or haven't been addressed in the series so far. And I realized it's just a part of who I am and what I'm used to.

As someone who was raised on Days of Our Lives (which is weird because I'm not American), I don't mind things like the kidnapping or the transmigration in My Stand-In (and that the transmigration might never be addressed or explained).

I mean, I'm used to kidnappings, people being possessed, and long, lost, dead people coming back to life. That's just a normal Tuesday.

I don't need a revenge plot to be satisfied with the series. I don't even want a revenge plot (it would be very out of character for Joe). Fortunately, I'm pretty sure this isn't the story they want to tell.

Furthermore, in my opinion (colored by being raised in the delulu land of DOOL), I don't even need the transmigration to be addressed or explained for me to enjoy the series. I don't need Joe's feelings about what it's like for his soul to live in a new body. I don't need him to deal with the repercussions of being in a new body (that might not even be the story they want to tell). I don't need any of that because I'm used to ludicrous shit (especially the fun ludicrous shit). And I'm used to ludicrous shit that doesn't always get addressed or explained.

(I get that not everyone was raised on DOOL, and good for you if you weren't. So if you need to have the transmigration addressed, that's great. Be disappointed if it isn't. You have every right to be. Don't mind me and my ridiculous soap opera preferences.)

That's not to say that My Stand-In is ludicrous, because it isn't. It's a pretty normal story for someone like me who was raised on soap operas (and whose tolerance for ludicrous stuff is pretty high).

I mean, even if Joe is kidnapped for the umpteenth time and kept in a golden cage (yes, Stefano and Marlena, I'm looking at you), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen in My Stand-In.

Even if May has drugged Tong to get herself pregnant with his child (and that being the reason they get married) only to find out years later that it's actually his brother's child (btw, does Tong even have a brother?) (Yes, Sami, Austin, and Lucas, I'm looking at you.), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen either.

And even if Ming's dad turns out to be a Stefano DiMera-esque character and Sol turns out to be Joe's half-brother (because shit like that is normal in delulu Salem), I'll have a blast with it. But, again, I'm pretty sure this will never happen.

My Stand-In is no soap opera (unfortunately). But I enjoy the heck out of it as it is right now anyway. And I would enjoy the heck out of it even if it became completely ludicrous.

The only thing that disappoints me at this point is that Joe 2.0 doesn't even have white eyes even though he's possessed by another person's soul... (Yes, Marlena, I'm looking at you again.)

On a more serious note, though (let's see if I can pull this off, lol).

Based on what I've seen so far (and since I'm only on chapter 41 in the novel, which is around the end of the 4th episode, I don't know much else about the source material), I feel like the story they want to tell us is more about Joe's role as a stand-in in all the different parts of his life, about how unfair life can be, about grief, second chances, and an obstinate refusal to giving up.

I still don't think they will give us a revenge plot. I feel like the farthest they will go is for Joe to resist Ming and make him grovel for as long as possible (as he should!). They might address parts of the transmigration later. But, again, that's not really important to me.

I'm more interested in Joe mourning his old body/life rather than figuring out how his new body works. But that's just me.

I'm more interested in Ming losing his shit in his grief, repeating old patterns, and (hopefully) breaking those patterns when he gets his shit together. But that's just me.

I'm more interested in the chaos (more catfighting between Ming and Sol, please). But that's just me.

Hell, give me more of the blind shaman, who evidently sees clearer than Ming does (why did that idiot take off the glasses he wore before he left the country?! He clearly needs them...). He is more interesting to me than whatever Joe might be feeling being in a new body. Please, oh wise man, tell me more about what you see! And speak in riddles because I love a good old mindfuck. But, again, that's just me.

If a golden cage shows up or Joe 2.0's eyes start to change color or children show up claiming random people as their parents, I will probably start talking about how ludicrous this series is (but I'll still have such a fucking blast with it). This will never happen, though, because My Stand-In isn't a soap opera.

Do I need My Stand-In to be more unhinged to enjoy it? No, because I already enjoy it as it is. Do I mind if it gets into ludicrous territory? Absolutely not. I'm raised on that shit.

My Stand-In can practically throw whatever it wants at me (or not) and I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride. Because I already do.

(Btw, I Googled the cage in DOOL and I can't believe I remember that it was golden! That storyline was from 1996?! I was around 10 years old when I watched that shit (since my country was 3-4 years behind in the release of the episodes). It must've made a real impact on me, lmfao! Also, I love that when Supernatural fans raved about Jensen Ackles, I just knew him as Eric Brady, lol!)

[saintarmand]

a stray cat from a toy shop

while i'd noted it before, this post by @iwtvfanevents gave me a title for the cat painting in claudia's room: The Kitten's Art Lesson by Henriëtte Ronner-Knip. (if you enjoy being insane like me go read the artist's biography at the link, but keep in mind that just because you CAN draw parallels doesn't mean they were necessarily intentional. but they ARE delightful.)

let's take a look at the kitten's art lesson!

the kittens are studying under the watchful eye of the adult cat, who seems disappointed by the lack of decorum. the kittens are in a playful mood! one of them has torn through a painting. another is clinging to the art board with tooth and nail... just playing or trying to hold on after nearly falling? a couple are in a half closed drawer—almost like they could be trapped inside at any moment. one has actually found a paint brush but doesn't seem to know what to do with it. the teacher is not impressed.

i can't help but note the one staring towards us from the drawer looks awfully familiar:

the art teacher and students aren't the only cats in claudia's room; there's also a cat statuette on the mantle (click to see the closeups in full.)

above the cat painting, there's a blurry painting of what looks like some women sitting, and one of them looks she might have a cat in her lap, though that might be wishful thinking on my part. the bottom of the painting blends in so well with the wallpaper that at first glance i actually thought the painting had been cut into, which sent me on a wild train of thought but yeah that's not actually true lol. but the effect is interesting regardless. the cat on the mantle definitely evokes the idea that it escaped from the painting nearby, and could flee at any moment—and in episode 6, it's no longer on the mantle or anywhere else that i can see.

i wonder if it broke along with so much else in the house at the end of episode 5, or if claudia moved it somewhere. fellow insane people keep an eye out, a kitty's gone loose!

so... why cats?

there aren't many cat references in iwtv compared to other animals, but the ones that are there speak volumes. in episode 3, we see louis bite into a black cat as a substitute for the human blood he craves. later in the evening lestat says he "fears for the feline population of new orleans" (after comparing louis to fish and birds). when louis reaches a breaking point, "rats, cats, dogs, would no longer suffice." so what he really wants or needs is something else?

in the next episode, claudia delivers the punchline:

“I used to [live around here] too. I remember there used to be a toy shop a few doors down by there. They used to keep stray cats in boxes for people to take.”

claudia sees herself as a cat. louis took her in like a stray—a helpless little kitten in need of rescue—and he took her (took for free because no one else wanted her) from a box at a toy shop—a place where you find things to play with.

but cats love to play and they love sleeping in boxes so this is fine actually!

...right?

claudia knows herself much better than anyone else in this show. she is a cat in a kitten's body.

the thing you always have to keep in mind about cats is that they are not docile and subservient by nature. they don't do things because they are told but because they choose to. a cat's fur may be pretty and soft to touch, but don't forget those sharp teeth and claws! it's not that they don't like to be pet at all, you just have to get permission first. and even if you do, they might just change their mind, as is their right.

cats do like good company but they also like their independence. they prefer to come and go as they please; not to be locked up inside, and not to be kept on leashes. they like boxes because they feel safe in there, but they also like to jump out for play time: hunt! catch! kill!

they may be small and cute and soft but they're still predators, and brutal ones. if they don't get to hunt for their food in your care, you better find them another outlet or they'll go for your ankles. they developed that instinct to survive, but hunting also happens to be fun! cats love to play with their food.

if you manage to earn their trust, they'll make for wonderful companions—but do not make the mistake of assuming you can ever own them... or you'll have to sleep with one eye open like they do. they're quick and clever but also patient, and they know how to move without a sound. let them out of your sight for even a second, and you won't know what hit you until it's too late. and they'll relish the kill!

no matter how others may speak of her, claudia is not a lap dog, nor a bird in a feathered nest. lestat is not a beauceron herding sheep, and his last name does not make him a lion. the three of them are not fellow dogs either. from the very beginning, claudia knows she's a cat. and by the end, she realizes what lestat let slip in the pilot: he's just an overgrown fucking rat. and while “a cat and a rat” rhymes, that does not mean they're the same thing.

[soulfulazrael]

Who am I and what I write. The tale of a weird as all Hell fanfic I put too much time into about an odd ship.

So... If anyone here cares I am a Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss fanfic writer (and I am 23/24 year old. Depressing isn't it?). Although I can't exactly call myself the biggest fan anymore. I do love the potential those series have and the ideas in them, but I am not a nut over the execution. In fact I say it is pretty bad in many respects and I think Viv and her writing team do not utilize the full potential of what they have on their hands.

What I want to do is well... Do something I would prefer this world they created to be. So I make several odd as hell Fics. Or at least one now. As you can see from the image about Stella and Moxxie (art btw is made by talented @Caffe1neW1tch on twitter). Now I know, I KNOW how she is in the show... I can explain my case. I do change her character quite significantly from what she is in canon show (as I do so with MANY other things). To something I would prefer her to be. Something while still deeply flawed being more dignified than what she is in Helluva Boss season 2 as I think the direction they took her character was severely disappointing. I can't say they retconned her, but I have to say they went overboard with the direction she was taken. Way too far into just pure Hate Sink. Something I would prefer if it wasn't done at all with a character tied to such a potentially interesting conflict.

Not to mention the direction Vivienne took the world of Hell and it's characters... I must say. I do not enjoy how easy it is to say who is good and bad in both of her shows and how similar Hell is to Earth. It honestly robs the setting of it's potential as it is perfect place to explore some deeply disturbing characters with interesting alien mindsets and their own unique conflicts as it is hard to grasp who are you supposed to root for in the end. But both Hazbin and Helluva greatly miss the mark on that front as every character is either without a shadow of a doubt a good guy (that at most cries, swears and likes to tell sex jokes because I guess that's enough to say character has depth these days) or are so cartoonishly evil and stupid they make Team Rocket look competent and make Micah from RDR2 and Erebus from 40k say "THAT'S NOT SUBTLE ENOUGH!". Not to mention how similar so many of her characters are and how limited their interactions are, the treatment of Heaven, the confusing character arcs... You know what. Issues with both Hazbin and Helluva are too many to count, too many for this post, but I also say they are not TERRIBLE shows, they are just shows that disappoint me at every step for the last few years.

And now I get to the crux of this elongated point. Again. I'm writing fics and one of them is Song for the Quiet Bird. A fic I say is best to read on a site AO3 (but it is also on Fanfic site if it's up to your speed) where I try to explore hell in more meaningful ways and make their culture more unique while telling a story of a very strange ship which is Stella and Moxxie. And do not worry, I am not going on any "Millie is dead" kind of cop out. I am into doing things in an easy way. And here is the link to it:

I also make another fic called Torments of Sinners and Imps which you may find on my profile as well which delves more into Angel and Moxxie, but that one for now is on a break. In a way Song is too, but I do hope I'll post a chapter for that one soon (personal issues and family issues).

Alright, if anyone is interested or sees this post I hope that you will enjoy my take on this series. Will post something more here? I dunno. Maybe? But anyway I just want more people to see it and maybe give their opinion on it which is what I always want to hear.

And I may post more things about what I do not enjoy in those shows and how I think they could be fixed. Talking about several things in both shows that irk me the wrong way.

Also given how deeply I go into the worldbuilding in my fics I may also post some stuff about how I made some things work there and things about culture of Hell I came up with and mythology there... Or maybe just talk about some philosophical mumbo jumbo that I sometimes think of. But whether or not I do it, especially consistently will be another story. If anyone sees this, thanks for sticking around. If anyone is interested in my works or opinions share your thoughts. If anyone hates my guts for the things I write about and my opinions of these series... Can't say I am surprised some people do hate those. You are free to share your discontent too. I welcome all voices. At least until they make my head hurt, then I just take a nap.

Anyway. I rambled for long enough. Again check out the fic if you are interested. Wont force you. If you do so leave a comment which is the most important thing for me when I write something. Hearing what people like and don't like. Have a good one and I hope you enjoy yourself. If not with my story then in your life whoever you are (as long as you are not a total POS).

[husbandograveyard]

🕱 Lovebites Masterlist 🕱 this is a VAMPIRE AU event 🕱 ☽☽ Character: Toshiro (Bleach) x Gn Reader ☾☾ ✩ Requested by: @kagechikage ✩ [Fluff] ✩ Warnings: mentions of blood, biting ✩

As a vampire, you had lived through quite a few decades already. Initially, it was a struggle for you to survive. You settled mostly for drinking animal blood, because the thought of hunting humans was terrifying and made you feel queasy. 

But over the years, you have settled into your nature. You figured out you could ‘ethically’ hunt, even find people that would willingly offer their blood to you. A bite didn’t turn a human, as they would like to think because of their stories. It was perfectly possible to hunt without any of the downsides, in certain cases a bite was actually more of a pleasurable experience. 

Today’s prey however, was proving to be a little more of a challenge. You had met him on a college campus and had an interesting conversation. He seemed only mildly interested in you, but you chalked it up to playing hard-to-get. His body language betrayed him and the rosy blush on his pale cheeks let you know that he was at the very least a little infatuated by you. The way he averted his eyes when you asked him to meet you that night was telling as well. You had gotten good at this over the years, picking out those that would eventually fold and let you have a few sips of their blood before never seeing them again. 

But he had left you waiting in the evening, something you weren’t really used to anymore. He seemed wary when he approached you too, and you knew you’d have to put in a little extra effort. You wanted him at ease, wanted him to consent when you finally popped the question. You didn’t want your hunt to be for naught. 

“So, Toshiro, any places around here that you like to frequent for a drink?”

He was quiet for a bit, seemingly thinking about an answer. When he did open his mouth to reply, he caught you off guard. 

“I don’t know, doesn’t your kind just take their dates into the forest for a drink?” 

He put such emphasis on the words ‘your kind’, but kept the rest of his tone so lighthearted, that you got a mental whiplash from just the one sentence. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” 

It was no use denying it, and you weren’t even sure just why you tried. The hunt was over, and you’d explain and ask for a bite anyway. You should’ve just come clean then and there. Sure, it wasn’t the way you usually let it build up, and sure, you would have preferred that he was more relaxed and happy in the moment you told him -increasing your chances of a positive reply-, but there was nothing wrong with him figuring it out. 

You spoke up before he could even reply. 

“I mean, I wanted to tell you at some point tonight, I don’t do the creepy forest vampire thing. I usually go out with potential targets, have a good time, and maybe if I’m lucky, ask them for a little nibble in the evening.” 

He raised a white brow, not even bothering to hide the skeptic look on his face. 

“You ask consent?” 

“yeah,” you shrugged, “you’d be surprised how many guys are actually into it. And it feels kind of nice in the right setting, or so I have been told.” 

He was quiet for a bit, overthinking what you said. He may have taken you off guard by confronting you, but he wasn’t prepared for your casual -yet honest- answer. He was not quite sure just how much of your reply he could trust. 

“So you really just want a date right now?” 

You nodded. 

“And if by the end of the night, I do not want to get bitten, then you’ll just let me leave?” 

You nodded again. He went silent once more and you were starting to feel awkward. He was cute, and you were definitely intrigued by him, but you were wondering if it was worth the hassle. The silence went on for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was probably only a couple more seconds. 

“Okay, let’s go then. I will have to disappoint you though, I don’t frequent bars. But I know a nice coffee shop not too far from here that has great cake.” 

You giggled, resisting the urge to make a joke about his small stature and the fact that he’d rather go have sweets than a drink. You figured he wouldn’t really appreciate it, and if you wanted your ‘hunt’ to be successful, you had to have him on your good side. 

“Sounds great, and then afterwards, you’ll be my dessert?” 

“We’ll see about that.”

[litsen-lithenna]

Some thoughts about UA healing journey post-game

TW: Speaking of abuse, trauma, ptsd, and the struggles of healing (take care 🧡) [Long rambling… I’m sorry, and it’s all about my headcanons and how I imagine Astarion and Tav/Durge’s relationship post-game. Of course, I’m perfectly fine with people disagreeing and discussing it, as long you’re not rude✨] I’ve had many thoughts about post-game spawn Astarion, precisely because I find his ending really inspirational, and as a survivor myself, I believe there’s a bittersweet edge to it. {a brief foreword} Healing takes a lot of time, it’s painful and difficult, and you can’t completely get rid of the past. You learn to accept your trauma as part of your life, but the idea is to not let it define you. You're a victim, but you’re not just a victim, it doesn’t define you although it’s a part of you. And you may eventually find a way to live with it, but it never truly goes away. In the epilogue, we (I, at least) understand Astarion will try and walk that healing path, with your Tav/(resist)Durge. And even if he stumbles and falls on the way, he's not alone anymore, there will be people around to help him get back on his feet. It's beautiful, even if it's sometimes difficult.

And there's one line from the epilogue that makes me quite sad, and increases that bittersweet feeling I have: when the narrator says that Astarion told you that those last those “6 months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery”; it does sound sweet, but I think it's a lie (sorry😫 ).

The narrator doesn’t use direct speech with a sentence like "It feels like those 6 months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery“ or "it is obvious that those last 6 months of happy memories…" - Instead, she uses indirect speech, she reports Astarion’s words: "Astarion told you that…", and well… Astarion is an unreliable narrator, he does have a tendency to lie and hide behind a smile, right? (Even if he opens up a little more after Cazador's death).

That’s why I tend to believe that he would prefer to avoid talking about his hardest struggles to the person he loves, and here are some hypothesis of why he'd do that:

He wants to reassure Tav/(resist)Durge so they don’t worry too much.

He doesn’t want to admit he still struggles with his past, not just out of pride, but also because he might lowkey think he “failed” at being completely happy, he might that he "failed" at being done with his past… (Which is, of course, untrue – healing is not a competition, it’s hard, it takes years, and it’s never a straight path,;sometimes you feel better, sometimes you have relapses, sometimes you don’t know what to do or how you feel.) I wouldn’t be surprised if, after years of abuse, he’d believe himself incapable of being good enough to heal… (that hurts a lot)

He doesn’t want to disappoint Tav/Durge – like, "Tav/Durge did so much for me andI can’t even stop struggling with my past, how ungrateful I am!" (ouch) 4- That’s his way to thank Tav/Durge, like “I am so grateful, so I’ll pretend to be completely healed because I know that’s what they want for me: to be happy." (Can you see where this is going?)

Wait a minute!

I’m not saying that post-game spawn Astation would be unhappy! On the contrary, I do believe that he’d be really happy, rediscovering what happiness means, what affection means, the pure joy of knowing how it feels to be himself, to be free (and in love, and loved!).

But I also think there would be relapses, moments of doubts, ptsd, dissociation, nightmares, intrusive thoughts and awful memories, and nights during which he would withdraw into himself completely, if only because he doesn’t know how to deal with all this.

All of this to say that I HC that the relationship wouldn’t be all sweet and soft for them- not all the time at least - even if Tav is the most healthy, considerate, sweetest person to be with - I usually play resist Durge so the traumas are piling up and they have to deal with their respective pasts, which makes it even more complicated.

I’m not saying the relationship would be toxic, but that they would both have a lot to do to make it work. And considering how Astarion tends to hide how he truly feels, Tav/Durge would definitely have to help him open up, to create safe spaces for him so he could feel like he can talk safely when things are getting difficult, instead of just brushing them off with a fake smile. Another point that I’ve been thinking of (A LOT), and which you can connect to point 3 and 4 above: he doesn’t want to disappoint. He spent two hundred years obeying, and each time he would disappoint Cazador, he was punished. So, I think he wouldn’t so easily get rid of what he was trained to do. Therefore, even if Astarion doesn’t see Tav/Durge as a potential 'master', I think he’d still have some tendencies to rely on them, to follow their lead. Because, even if he says multiple times that he wouldn’t let anyone control him ever again, and even if Tav/Durge refuses to tell him what to do, even if they refuse to control him, Astarion would unconsciously tend to let them take the lead. (which would obviolusly be even more difficult for Durge)

And I think Astarion would do his best to never disappoint, terrified to be abandoned, or worse, that the one he loves might see him just as he sometimes still thinks he is: not enough, just a pretty face.

It would require a lot of work and talking and patience from Tav/Durge to help him go through that, giving him agency about small things, mundane decisions, and little by little, make him understand that he doesn’t have to rely on anyone and that he can make the right choice for himself, and by himself. And they’d have to reassure him too, but I don’t think he would enjoy if this support was too obvious; I think he’d hate being paternalized by a partner who’d keep on openly encouraging him as if he was a child. But subtle tokens of support, quiet encouragements (a hand on his arm, a smile, their hand squeezing his hand, etc.) could probably help him feel better about himself without making him feel inadequate. In any case, I don’t think 6 months, even 6 months of the sweetest honeymoon, would make up for what Astarion went through. I can’t believe it, and I think the writers knew that too. And that use of the indirect speech by the narrator is enough for me to confirm it (alright, maybe my academic studies in literature are biasing me a little but aaah…! I can't help thinking about the "Astarion told you that…").

Sorry this was wayyyyy too long and heartbreaking and quite incoherent and there’s no real conclusion, but I needed all this out of my chest! Thank you for your attention 🩵 (and I apologise for the typos, it's late and I'm tired af)

[nerdieforpedro]

Patrolling on Christmas

Joel Miller x plus size female reader

Fanfiction rating: Teens and up

My blog overall is 18+

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Summary: Joel prefers patrol rather to be around others at Christmas, even after spending a few years in Jackson. He’s paired up with you on patrol and it’s not so bad. If asked, he may even say fair.

Warnings: Post outbreak, cursing, Joel is a grump, depression, survivors’ remorse/guilt, jokes about The Bard, damn knees and back, a fall, minor injury, ending fluff

Notes: I wanted to write Christmas Joel. I was going for sweet & happy. Post-outbreak Joel cropped up and my post shift mood determined that This is The Way. Merry Christmas 🎄 It’s got a sliver of sweet.

“Patrol can wait a day Joel. I don’t get why you’re still so damn weird about Christmas. It’s just all of us gathering at the Tipsy Bison and talking shit. No one’s going to ask you to do anything, not even me for fuck’s sake.” Elle threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

“...Language Elle.” Joel reminded her.

“I mean, I agree, language, but she’s right. There’s other people on rotation who can-” Tommy with his arms crossed explains, trying to put on a stern face. Doesn’t affect Joel at all.

“Shut it. I said I’m goin’. That’s it. See you tonight.” Heavy boots stepped out of the house and stopped on the porch looking back. “Have fun. Stay out of trouble.” With that, he adjusted the rifle that was over his shoulder and made his way to the perimeter to meet up with his patrol partner. He was expecting Sam or John but tried to control his eyebrows raising at the sight of you. He thought you’d join the others at the festivities.

Just like in the world before the outbreak, no one wanted to work holidays. The few holidays that were still celebrated anyway. Joel volunteered in part because the holidays always reminded him of the people he’d lost and it kept his brain from wandering to the dark recesses of his mind. If he kept busy, followed tasks and tired himself to the point of exhaustion, he’d briefly say goodnight to Elle and collapse in his bed. Then he may be blessed with the void of sleep, where his mistakes and failings may not play back through his head because he’s shut down.

The former smuggler wasn’t disappointed or annoyed that you’d be patrolling with him. In fact, it was likely best. You alternated between silence and run-on sentences about any and everything. That also removed his thoughts from being on himself. He even found himself chuckling on occasion at something you’d say that he found funny. He knew you didn’t mean it to come out that way, but hearing about horoscopes that you thought you remembered and comparing them with Maria and the other ladies based on some old papers they’d found was weird as it was ridiculous to Joel. It was good to have a bit of silliness in this hopeless world.

The both of you checked your weapons, you had a revolver in addition to your rifle. You said that you won it in a bet with Fred that Joel would ‘fire’ you as a patrol partner. Joel was curious as to why. You didn’t look directly at him when you told him why. Your gift of gab and keeping things light as well as your build which was short, stocky and thought to be poor for evading clickers, raiders and hunters. Fred wasn’t wrong in that respect outright, but you’d learned to either hide well or improve your aim to prevent them from getting to you.

Joel noted that Fred was a bigger asshole than he thought.

“Doesn't matter. What does is that I get the job done and come home. Let’s go.” Joel followed your lead, it seemed the bet you’d have with Fred had spurred action in you, not a bad thing, but it’s best to keep a cool head.

“Keep focused. Raiders and clickers don’t give two shits about Christmas.” Joel adjusted his rifle again as the two of you walked, it was a familiar path around the Jackson settlement. Shorter than normal patrol.

“I almost thought Elle was with me instead of you Miller with you talking like that.” A light laugh made Joel feel more at ease. ‘That’s more like normal. Am I sounding like Elle? Dammit.’ He wondered if he needed to worry about his own language use. The sun was high behind the clouds, peeking through every so soften as the crunch of grass and dirt was heard from both of your boots.

You still weren’t saying much and Joel had no clue what to say to get you talking. He suggested about halfway that you both sit on a rock. You offered it to him first on account of his knees. Joel’s face contorted into a scowl and refused to sit until you sat down first. When you saw that he was serious, you sat down and patted the space left on the rock and he took his seat next to you. The elder Miller brother turned away from you to keep an eye out as you did on your side. His knees stopped screaming at him that they ached, they only whispered now.

The crisp air reminded Joel that he was alive. His hair flopped with the wind, his eyes squinting slightly to get a better look at the trees and lake in the distance. He flexed and relaxed his fingers, feeling calm when he should be on high alert. Sometimes Joel found himself concerned that he wasn’t built for a calmer life. That he desired the chaos of the unknown instead of the predictability of the commune “Tommy refused to call a spade a spade. The damn place is nice, but it is a commune…” Joel muttered aloud grinning, he recalled discussing it with his brother and him being so adamant about it.

“I mean, a rose by any other name is, well not a rose. I feel like it's supposed to be more poetic than that.” Her answer made Joel turn his head slightly before keeping his face front, he still needs to be aware of any threats.

“I never had much use for The Bard. Especially now. The hell’s that pentameter shit gonna do with a clicker?”

“I’m surprised you remember that Joel. I just remember Romeo and Juliet. Hamlet. Tights and Plays, I think.”

“Full of surprises darlin’, even with these sore knees.” The broad man stood as you turned to look back at him. Hair bouncing on his head and a wry smile on his face. “We should get a move on, ya good?” He saw you nod and stand, though he couldn’t quite make out the look on your face. Maybe he did really surprise you, the thought alone made Joel put a half a pep in his step. His knees would be back to screeching soon enough. This time around you let him lead as you chatted about what the both of you knew about Shakesphere, neither of you remembered much so the two of you started making up things that he may put in a Christmas play.

“There’s gotta be some weird trickster spirit fairies that give good children presents and punish bad children. Plus ghosts, there’s usually a ghost.”

“Hamlet’s daddy came back as a ghost right? Might be a dead relative of whoever the play’s ‘bout. Also need a big feast. There’s also food.”

“Don’t talk about food Joel, I’m going to be even more hungry.”

“They always have turkey legs and grapes and wine at those things I think. I feel like that’s what was always in them plays as props.”

“You’ve seen a Sharkesphere play?”

There was a moment where Joel was quiet. “Now Darlin’ keep this to yourself. I maybe was one of those cousins of Romeo or Juliet. Don’t ‘member which one thou.” he heard you stop walking and looked to see what was wrong. Your face was beaming with this piece of information. Joel almost regretted it, but still wanted you to know. He needed not to think about why, he’d go back in the recesses of his mind again that connected to those emotions. They’re locked away to keep him functioning. “Told ya we gotta move. I’ll leave you right there.” He began walking again and heard your steps move to catch up with him.

It was when the gate to Jackson was within view. It was another period of silence after finishing the conversation about the bard and you asking several questions about Joel’s short stint in acting. He said it didn’t suit him and continued with football. You then asked if maybe he sang since they can sometimes go hand in hand. That wasn’t what did it, Joel heard you tell him that he had the voice for it. Sure it was a little raspy, but what he was able to communicate in verbal and non-verbal cues suited some songs.

Joel Miller is not an easy man to surprise. He’s seen too much, done too much and been through too much for that. At least he thought he had, and when he stopped walking, his foot got caught on some underbrush and he tried to break his fall. His left hand hitting a sharp rock and he went down. Would he be able to get up? How badly was he injured? He didn’t feel his knees right now…nope, never mind. He felt them, even more than before. He heard you yell and move by his side, he was slightly out of it and you weren’t able to lift him all the way.

“Sweetheart, don’t ruin your back. Gimmie a few.” He told you, sure he was embarrassed but he could sulk about that later. Joel really did need to get off the ground. It was cold, he was sore and anything could happen. He’s completely open. Slowly, he rolled on his side and sat up with a loud groan. The worried look on your face made him sigh, he’s supposed to be the experienced one here and he falls right in front of home basically. “Hands darlin’.” Joel stretched his large hands toward yours and you pulled him up, using your body weight to force him upright. He hopped up and took a minute to adjust, large hands holding your small ones. Joel knew he held them a few seconds more than was necessary, but he told himself it was to ensure he was steady so he wouldn’t fall again. But he knew it wasn’t, and it was no help when you decided to walk at side by side with one of your hands on his back. Normally he’d fight you on it as he did with the rock, but he doesn’t mind it being there and understands that you’re trying to help.

Your hand left Joel’s back when you two could see the guards at Jackson’s gate. Joel decided the least he could do was walk you back to your house after reporting in. Nothing unusual, no raiders or clickers. No news was good news. Your house is smaller than Joel’s, it is meant for one person. A small wreath is on your door with a red and gold bow.

“Maria said I had to put something on my door. I’ve never been much for decorating. You have to put it away later.” You explained and unlocked your door, letting him in. You had a couch, kitchen, cabinet with a few books and a dented wooden globe. Tommy had let you keep it and you weren the only person interested in it so he said it was fine you took the thing. All of them had pieces of garland on them. “Sit down Joel, I’m gonna wrap your hand.”

Joel instead walked over to the sink and rinsed his hand under some cold water. “Nah darlin’ you’ve done plenty.” Apparently, you’d had a small first-aid kit. Joel wondered what you may have traded to get one, or what you may have done to earn one.

“If you won’t sit, then I’ll wrap it while you stand. You might want to be nice to your knees though. I won’t have you falling in here.” You’re teasing him, he doesn’t hate it. Joel resigns himself to his fate and plops on your couch, noting some mistletoe on the wooden post next to the loveseat he just sat on. It looked like it was slapped up there. “Maria and Kelly decorated, hence all the garland, I never noticed that though.” Your eyes rolled and you sat next to Joel and took some supplies out of the kit, dabbing and cleaning his hand before adding some clean gauze and wrapping it. You taped it and Joel complemented your work, it was better that it was covered as to stave off an infection. He knew he didn’t need anything like that.

Not thinking about it, Joel patted your thigh before standing up, “Thanks darlin’. Didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’ll be on my way.” He realized he needed to go. It’s been too long any he can’t. He needs to wrap his head around this if he can. Maybe not his head. He just made room for Elle in his heart, would he have room for you too? Did you even want to be there? You’re friendly and talkative with everyone, it just seems special because Joel is aware of how prickly he is. But you’re not treating him differently, he’s reading into it. He may be heavily starved for companionship.

Those heavy boots of his start to carry him toward your door. He’s bid you goodbye, but you grab his arm. “Darlin’ I-”

“Joel, wait.” He closes his eyes for a moment, then stops. His boots step toward you, Joel looks down at you, trying to discover what’s on your face, but it’s something he recognizes - longing. “Could I just, just close your eyes Joel.” He shakes his head, but your grip on his arm doesn’t wane, he allows his body to relax with an exhale.

“S’alright. Don’t feel ya hafta do-”

“I don’t have to do anything. Yes, I know. Just close your eyes will you? This is the most I’ve heard you talk today Joel.” He ended up bending forward slightly, tipping his chin down and his face toward you. A pair of soft lips touched his cheek, right above his graying beard. “M-Marry Christmas Joel. That’s all I wanted to do.”

A smirk spread on Joel’s face, “Sure about that Sweetheart?” He was aware he was playing a dangerous game, but it was enjoyable. He was one for some risk. You huffed which he found adorable, your other hand found its way to his cheek and pinched him.

“I’m sure Joel Miller. Go on home and rest. Your back and knees will thank you. Dream of the bard while you’re at it.” Joel and you chuckled and you lowered your hand as he caught it, kissing the back of it and then your forehead.

“Not going to dream of some puffy bard darlin’, got someone a lot sweeter on my mind. Merry Christmas to you too. Sleep well.” Your grip on his arm loosened and he dropped your hand, heading to the door before opening and exiting your home. He stood on the porch to hear you lock it, then he started walking to he and Elle’s home.

Joel Miller might be ready to let someone in this Christmas.

Joel Miller’s Sweethearts: @morallyinept @fhatbhabie @goodwithcheese @trulybetty @for-a-longlongtime @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @musings-of-a-rose @rhoorl @laurfilijames @avastrasposts @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @megamindsecretlair @saturn-rings-writes @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @maggiemayhemnj @undercoverpena @alltheglitterandtheroar @pedrodascal @linzels-blog @lincolndjarin @pedritapascal @sp00kymulderr @movievillainess721 @perotovar @pamasaur @magpiepillsjunior @yorksgirl @guelyury @legendary-pink-dot

[stonyponyofficial]

oh shit? whats that skanking this way? are those some more summer songs? are those some summer songs spliced seamlessly alongside some ska since Skaugust started? seems interesting, maybe u should pick em up and take a listen if u get the chance... might be the rudest sounds of the SKAmmer...

🎺spotify link ⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜ yt link🎺

notes on each ⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛ below the cut :3

Remember Summer Days - Anri: my city pop kick has not ended as you will continue to see. its the kinda shit that makes me wanna be taken on a warm evening drive. yeahh bitch i control the music and im not even driving >:3 sorry. umm also the horns make the song fit our skankin tone this time around so very well. they are like sisters <3

Car Song - Danny L Harle, MC Boing - speaking of drives! if, say, you are ever driving in a car, or perhaps playing music in a car this would be the track to signal to those around u that u are doing those things. i just love mc boing also. so much dumb hype that i cant help but follow his lead and bounce along. check out his like three other songs if u get the changce soun

Death Grips is Online - Death Grips: i was looking at my 'summer rewind' on spotify and this was apparently a death grips song i had listened to a lot a few years ago just without getting into any more death grips after that? it makes sense tho i was listening to a lot of igor of tyler the creator fame around that time. i was probably like ooooh this has that hard cunchy igor bass i like. and was like 😂 what the heck is the rest of their stuff tho seriously tihs is craazy 😂. probably is how i was like back then. tch. fool.

Flaunt It/Cheap - Rae Sremmurd: amen break waveform tattooed on my forehead running up to u voice HEY U SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG THEY. HEY> THEY RAP OVER AN AMEN BREAK ITS GOOD. okay thats misleading they only do that for a bit but after that the flow is very amen break inspired..but then beat switch thats still very good i love a good beat switch and all.... i just wish he kept spitting over that pure amen break sample. paws in pockets kicking the dirt as i walk away.....

Helium - Ecco2k (Drain Gang Archives): comes back excitedly to talk about draing gang ^w^. this time around our drain gang entrance is actually a bootleg posted by a drain gang leak aggregator on spotify. in case u were wonering this is probably the best of those unreleased/leaked songs ........... ecco's voice fits this song so well with all his falsetto stuff (get it it's like helihey it's like a helium balloon get it his voice it's hifh) but he also does that on his other songs bc he's a beautiful angel. GOd and his pouty fucking sighs in the chorus god i just wann[

Merlin's Staff - Ski Mask The Slump God: as i posted about before i love me some ski mask :) i hadnt listened to a lot of his new stuff until i watched his most recent interview with nardwuar. it is from here that i found this song bc ski mask references nardy on the track. HOWEVER. i would be remiss if i did not talk about my favorite lyric from this song that ive refrained from just posting as is. makes me GIGGLE every goddamn time.

"On the go like Mario, drive in a kart

Lisa Simpson, her head sharp"

now he does bring this back around to be a joke about her "giving brain" but just that line alone with the cadence gets stuck in my head. Li. sa. Simp. son. Her. Head. Sharp.

Morning Bell - Radiohead: speaking of... head? been catching up with ol mr. head recently on account of people i know whose music opinions i trust liking his tunes a lot (hai :3) this is My preferred morning bell btw.... for u music perverts out there who wanna know (hai :3) .... the drum groove is irresistible and the piano feels so cooold. cmon its in 5/4.... like im sorry to those whom i may have disappointed i do like amnesiac morning bell it feels a lot eerier.. yet brighter with all the bells? and the 'release me's in that one are very pretty but. kid a morning bell 👍

your clothes - Jane Remover: still havent listened to new jane BUT i have gone back to revisit old stuff i hadnt listened to in a while. upon listening to this one i was reminded Wow! Jane just doesn't miss! so congrats to Jane the Remover on being the only artist to have never left some songs thus far. may ur reign be long.

Last Summer Whisper - Anri: i leave you with this. the last whisper of summer. the last whisper of my city pop kick. the last whisper of some songs until fall right guys? do u guys hear a train?

⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️

⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️

Train to Skaville (Live) - The Selecter: ALLLLLLLLL ABOOOOOOOAAAARRRD. THIS TRAIN. IS BOUND. FOR. SKAVILLE!!!!!!!!! wait oh shit i can't leave yet i have a train to catch 😳someone made a joke to me last year about this song (i believe it was in September they said 'the train to skaville has left the station') and i straight up didnt get it at the time bc i was kind of a poser skahead when i made my skaugust post eheh nervous laughs bc i pretended to know it in that post ehehe ^^ . i do believe in ska fans beliefs (that ska is good, and anticapitalism probably) i just didnt know much about it besides like stupid horse did it that one time and that post about a kid getting an extra mozz stick.. anyway fast forward one year this fucking song is the idle music in my head. i pretend to be that funky ass bass on this song a lot too hehe. there are MANT live versions of this song on yt so i chose the most fitting one for the playlist but the one ive been listening to is the spotify one -w-

Superman - Goldfinger - this is the archetypal ska song to me. and u know why. that fucking post about that kid getting an extra mozzarella stick and ska plays in his head. from uo there ^. this is the song on that post. this is like capital s Ska to me. u know how people associate dnb with really slick games u grind on rails and skate/snowboard in. make the main character 12 and sucking ass on his first shitty skateboard rolling around his neighborhood and the soundtrack is now ska. only this song actually. it is good tho is the important thing

Never Meant - Skatune Network, JER:

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I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - Skatune Network, JER:

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Come on Eileen - Save Ferris:

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Take On Me - Reel Big Fish: what can i say im a sucker for a ska cover? SKA-ver. heh so true

Old SKrAp - Jeff Rosenstock: i believe jeff rosenstock has done other things which i will get to eventually like all things but i know him specifically for having made an album called No Dream (that i... havent listened to :/) which released in 2020 (05/20 specifically). and then.. on 04/20 of 2021 (!!!!!!!!!!! WEEED WEED ITS WEED) he released Ska Dream, which, of course, is a complete reworking of No Dream but to be Ska instead. the original title of this song is Old Crap which they still sing in the song i just love how they put SKA into the title. all of them are like this btw.

stupid horse - 100 gecs: the OG. also s/o aimkid amv. s/o all aimkid amvs but thats beside the point. there was a point in 100 gecstory that there were maybe only a few interviews they did after 1000 gecs and ofc not many live performance videos besides minecraft festival screen recordings and maybe one video of a show from the secret tour. but there was an interview from skullcandy of all places with an accompanying live performance of stupid horse that i rewatched sevreal times :) ......... i thought the neon green and yellow set pieces and outfits were cool ok??? anyway fucking stupid horse yeah a swordfish dancer spend my money on a fishnet carousel go go go go goin so fast now go go go go goin so fast now.

Frog On The Floor - 100 gecs: and then they did it again :)

I Got My Tooth Removed - 100 gecs: and did it again :)

Two-By-Four-And-A-Half - Thee Goblins: as i said before ive been narding it up recently with some nardwuar interviews. my favorite thing about him is his elusiveness as like. a guy who does things besides being nardwuar. and my favorite story about him doing other things is that on his quest to interviewing kurt cobain, he tried talking to dave grohl and somehow dave recognized nardwuar from a band he's in (this band Thee Goblins :3). but the band wears masks when they perform so u cant see its nardwuar. and he still knew it was him without the mask and i guess felt enough respect for nardwuar in that moment to decide to get him an in with kurt, which did come to fruition BTW. anyway this song is a SKA SONG by NARDWUAR himself.... this isn't on the yt playlist unfortch but there is a good video of the nardman himself and others as thee goblins.

Ska Sucks - Big D and the Kids Table: found this one while just ska-ouring ska-tify for more ska. and idk theres just something in a good subversive title (and lyrics if u venture to take a listen >w< ).anyway this ska doesn't suck its quite good actually :) this is a theme in ska if u could not tell. being quite good not sucking. sorry if that was unclear.

yyyaWWWn ummmmmmmn.. okay This is ewher i leave u.. with all the skanking ive been doing i believe ive kicked up a month long ska storm... but i hear there are some pretty rude winds forecasted to come in later today so oerhaps keep ur ears to the wind on that front 😳... um anyway peels off in my car i am sooooo licensed to operate leaving u behind with this helpful guidento steer your path. and this, thjs last SKA-mmer whisper, is how ill leave u until fall music fans :3 <3

[the-art-of-sanshoku]

Shadowheart End of Questline Thoughts - ACT 3 SPOILERS

A very long analysis of Shadowheart's story/themes of BG3. As stated in the title many spoilers for Act 3 - mainly regarding Shadowheart, but also Astarion and Gale's stories

So I was thinking about her quest again yesterday and I have A LOT of strong opinions and feelings regarding the choice with her parents. When I did it months ago I only talked about it with some friends and I was the odd one out, and I feel like I don't see the end of her story discussed that much so I thought I'd talk about my thoughts here (although maybe it was discussed just when the game was newer and I missed it).

For context in my playthrough I went pretty hard in being anti-shar, in Act 2 I had her make her own choice regarding Nightsong and she chose to spare her. I then encouraged her a lot to find her parents/reclaim her memories/etc. When the choice came for whether they live or die I also had her choose for herself, thinking she would choose to save them and live with Shar's curse. She then chose for them to die and not going to lie I was kind of surprised and disappointed. I still watched the scene play out and also did her following long rest scene. I felt like this choice was supposed to be a harder pill to swallow but seeing her parents turn into moon motes and frame it as them "forever being with selune and watching over her" I felt like took the edge off the choice a lot. Maybe I just love some good tragedy I don't know, but I would have preferred if this choice was a bit - sadder I guess?

I also want to say that I don't think killing Shadowheart's parents is a bad or wrong choice (I don't think this game has wrong decisions), but I do find it narratively unsatisfying in regards to the themes and character arc of Shadowheart.

First of all, when my Shadowheart chose to spare the Nightsong that to me signified she was ready to live with Shar's curse forever. What hope does she have of getting her favor back after betraying her? And she made that decision with her only resolve being that her parents might be alive and that she wanted her memories back, so when her parents were right in front of her and she makes the decision to have them die so she doesn't live with the curse it felt like a real let down to me based on what I had seen her do previously. It felt like a betrayal of what I thought I had known her character to be.

Regarding the themes the entire House of Grief/Followers of Shar seemed to revolve around "people who lose themselves because they give up things important to them (mostly memories) because they do not want to deal with the pain of reality, and in turn become 'empty' ", and I feel that this framed as a sad thing in game. What I felt the message BG3 wanted to convey with a anti-Shar Shadowheart is "We mustn't choose the easy way out that rids ourselves of pain, because living with pain and growing and overcoming it and sharing it with others is what it is to be human and to be alive", something akin to "To live is to suffer but it is also to know joy/can't have happiness without sadness/can't have darkness without the light".

So for Shadowheart to give up her parents so she can avoid the pain of the curse was just very dissatisfying to me. People say that Shadowheart wins over Shar by severing the curse and gaining freedom, but I think she wins over Shar by living with the curse. Her choosing to live with the curse shows that Shar cannot control her, that Shadowheart is not afraid of the Sharran wound and she will not give up anything anymore to her. Sharrans throw away their memories, their personal relationships, everything to appease Shar, so even though Shadowheart may be severed from the curse by throwing away her parents it still feels like Shar gets the last laugh by getting Shadowheart to do this act. It shows that Shar had -and may still have- power over Shadowheart and her decisions.

Now by continuing the "Shadowhearts parents die" path you can say that the "darkness" in the "darkness without the light" is the weight of her parent's death , but I think the moon motes scene kind of cheapens the impact of that. But in return the "light" is that Shadowheart can now more freely choose who she wants to be and she will be free of the past. And I do think BG3 also has themes of that "gaining freedom/moving forward" and "not being chained down by our past" so I don't dislike this take but I think her having to throw something away and harm others to achieve that makes it my less preferred Shadowheart ending.

You can kind of compare it to Astarion's storyline. Should he choose to become Vampire Ascendant he loses an important part of himself, he could not become more than what Cazador made him - a spawn who thinks only of power. Should Shadowheart give up her parents she loses a part of herself and fails to become more than what Shar made her - a woman who is forced to embrace loss. Of course there is more nuance to all of this as the game is very well written but in broad strokes this is how I read into the character arcs for them.

I also view the Sharran wound as the equivalent of Astarion's sunlight issue. It's kind of a metaphor - I don't think that's quite the right word but I'll use it for now - for the things they've done. Both of them did horrible things to others, they may have both been essentially brainwashed/coerced in a way that I don't blame them for doing what they did, but in the end they did do those things. And in Astarion's conversation with Sebastian I think you can see that as much as he dodges the question, he does feel some responsibility for what his actions under Cazador. And Shadowheart as well feels responsible for the things that she did as a Sharran. In the Astarion spawn ending he must live with the curse of the sun and the hunger for blood, in Shadowheart's ending with her parents she must live with the Sharran wound. They are reminders of what they have done, being a vampire and having been a Sharran will always be a part of who they are but more importantly it does not define them and it is not all they are.

Going back to BG3 having themes of "Moving on/letting go of the past" I think is a bit too simple, I think how I have more so read it as "We must live with our actions, but not let it define all that we are" which I think is quite suitable to the Shadowheart with parents alive ending. You can still move on without just pretending everything before never happened, and in fact you shouldn't pretend it never happened because that is just running away and failing to take responsibility for what you have done. And also because the past you is still you and is an important part of who you are. For another example I think Gale fits here quite well, in my preferred ending for him - if you don't want to him to be obsessed over the crown of Karsus - he apologizes to Mystra (I think a romanced Gale can bypass this but I'm not 100%). Gale moves on but recognizes he fucked up too, and he also bears the responsibility of the orb in his chest until he can get her the crown (his equivalent of the Sharran wound from my previous analogy). But, he has become more than Gale of Waterdeep who can only pine over his ex and be defined as "Mystra's favored", he moves on to be Gale Dekarios who is a man of many things and talents and wants and dislikes. Honestly, I don't really like Gale asking Mystra for forgiveness because fuck Mystra she sucks you know, but I see why it is needed for his character arc in acknowledging the folly of his ambitions.

Another argument I've seen against letting Shadowheart's parents live is that her mom is like mind broken and doesn't have long to live anyway so it's better for Shadowheart to have a clean future, but for the reasons above I don't think that matters. Whether they end up even being a family or not, or how long they have together, does not matter, for it is the choice to not throw them away out of fear of Shar is what matters. That this chance of reclaiming what was taken away from her is more important.

Also just to gush a little bit about how cute the Hallowleafs are. They recognize that their family will never be what it once was, or that Shadowheart may decide she ultimately does not want to be them, but there is a chance that they could still be something. That their fragmented relationship could still mend into something new and something still precious and I guess I just love that kind of stuff in fiction. Also the hug scene and Arnell telling Shadowheart he doesn't mind calling her Shadowheart/identifying as Shadowheart instead of Jenevelle is so touching and cute and 😭😭You know how a lot of BG3 fans have that one side character they love a lot like Zevlor or Rolan or Karniss - Arnell is that guy for me he is so cute and sweet😌

As an aside, apparently as a Shar-aligned Shadowheart you may learn that not severing the curse (aka not killing the parents) also means Shar gets to like take her and her parents in death? And that her parents will not become moon motes or return to Selune after dying, but be in Shar's hands? Or something? I'm not entirely sure I just saw like one post on it online. Which certainly adds a different dimension to this choice but since the game does not seem to really allude to any of that in the non-Shar path that I could see I will still stand by my feelings above.

Again I don't want to create arguments or discourse on which path is "right", this is just what I prefer from a narrative standpoint based on what I had seen from the decisions in my game and why. In fact if I was actually the Tav living in the world of BG3 I think Shadowheart not living with the Sharran wound and having her parents watch over her with Selune is probably the "better" ending! (This is the ending/reasonings my friends had actually) But, for me as a player who sees it from the lens of a third party, from a thematic and character perspective I much prefer her choosing her parents to live.