#i get clingy 2 an unhealthy degree

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

the way i get soo attached. whoopsies

[foxtricksterwriting]

SLSQ MC 2

Author's Note: surprise, I have not one but TWO new mcs for SLSQ~! Mans got sadder than I wanted him to be....

Credits: the IF SLAUGHTER SQUAD belongs to @harlequinoccult

Preferred Name: █̴̷̡̣̪̳̖̺͔͎͇̤̹͆ͣ͋͗̎̔ͬͥͯͩ̄̈̕̕͞͞█̖█̴̢̢̛̛̬̣̟̹͉̗̹̗͍͕̠͇͕͈̺̙͓̼̒͑̀͗́͗͊̀̍̑̓̒ͦ̅̒͐ͥ̀͠█̴̸̡̟̫̖͕̬̜̞̦̯̺̳͓͎͔̐̒̌͑̌ͫ̈͒̇͋́̍ͥ̋́̂̅̋͘̕͢͢͠'̜̀��̛̛͕̪̤̹̜̰̼̘͔̌ͫ̎͑̀̂ͩ͋ͧ͒ͭ͌ͥ̚͢͟͝͝͠█̷̷̵̧̢̡̛̣̩͈̟̝͙̪̟̗̺̤̗͔̖̺̯̥͊ͥͨ́̑̿̓̽̇ͯͦ͊̕͘͢͠͠ͅ█̵̷̛͉͕͚̣͓͎̠͉̲̦̬͙̖̙̱͕̀̾̈́͗̾̄͊͌̈́ͬ̔̾̏̐ͬ͗ͥ͡█͍̀͢͟█̴̵̫̠͚͍̮ͤ̾ͧ̊̆̾̚̚ █̷̷̷̧̯̖̠̼̰̥͓̤̻̺̐̏̽̋ͯͣ̊̽̈̅ͣ͆̍ͨ͜͝█̸̨̧̛̺̱̹͕̞͈̥͍̤̥̰̲͕̪̞̹̣͈͍͐͆̽̀̿̾̋ͬͥ̀́̀͛͒̿̒ͩ̒͡ͅ█̶̟̬͍͎̮͔̼̼̍̉̽̀ͬ̑͊̂ͪ͋͌ͪ́̍͢ͅ█̶̢͉̪̹̣̜͚̦̖͛͋̿ͬ͛̒̄͑̓̓̚͘͜͝͠͞█̶̡̢̨̧͓̙̬̞̻̦̹͎̪̫̊͛̐̈̀͊̑ͧ̾ͩͧͧ͆̐̈ͦ̂͊͑ͦͨ̂ͣ̐͢͢͝ͅ█̸̷̴̧̥̪͎͕̖̰̘͈͉̦͕͎̥͖̮͐̌͛́͌ͧͫ̽̄̈́̽̅̿ͯͯ̚͢͟͟͜͜͝͝█̶̺͍͈̠͗ͧ͂ͦͭ̿̈́̀ͣ̃ͫ͟͡█̷̧̟̣̭̪̺̘͉̩̺̞̩͍͕̞ͤͭ̑ͦͣ̏̀̌̌͗͋ͣ̓͟͞͞ (I'm sorry, but I can't let you know that!)

Alias: The Nopperabo (A Nopperabo is a faceless monster that follows its victims around. Some stories say they kill their victims, others say they just scare them. In any case, I find it....interesting, don't you?)

Gender + Pronouns: man + he/him

Age: 25

Ocupation: Secretary for an office building (Boring.... like me, eheh)

More About Him; He blends seamlessly into the background of any situation. He has almost no presence and lets people walk all over him. Often fidgety and afraid to stand up for himself or speak out against any mistreatment he faces, others around him describe him as spineless at best. Should he somehow gain a speck of confidence, he can be charmingly charismatic. He can make anyone feel comfortable around him in a matter of minutes and naturally has the air of someone you can tell your entire life story. If only he'd use it for something more productive.

He cares deeply for his family, especially his twin. When they were younger, he protected and shielded zer from anything that tried to hurt zer. Now, the roles are reversed. His life experiences have caused him to become very codependent and clingy to a sad degree. His sibling now aggressively protects him from any further trauma and helps him in any way possible. He considers zer to be his only true friend.

A last little note about The Nopperabo is his desperate perfectionism. He will often do things repeatedly, trying to get it perfect. He is more willing to tear apart fully built furniture that's imperfect and try to rebuild it than just leave it be. He gets frustrated at himself for not being able to just let things go, but does them anyway to avoid a possible anxiety attack.

Subconsciously, he seeks out ways to stand out and take back control of his life. But, is he willing to seize the opportunity presented to him? Or will he let it slip through his fingers?

Fun Facts

Pinterest here~

Playlist there~

Offers Abo as a little nickname for the slashers to use for him.

Romances Black Dahlia and Elysium, might tact Sweetheart on tho. Abo would like someone doting on him, I think.

Obsessed with apple flavored anything. Will devour a apple pie(or two) on his own if no one stops him. Always has jolly ranchers on him; he eats the apple ones and gives the rest to others who want them.

Carries a bag with him everywhere, has basically everything in it. If you need/want something, ask him. 9 times out of 10, he'll have it. (Do you need water? ....Here. Unopened, of course. Wouldn't offer it if it was open.)

A horror movie enthusiast, he fucking loves them! Maybe to a unhealthy degree....

Likes gardening, but isn't really a green thumb. He tries, but fails pretty badly.

Has a interest in folklore, mythology and history, knows a lot of random history facts or bizarre people that lived once. And loves infodumping about different creatures in folklore and mythology. (Have you heard of the kushtaka from Alaska? Oh, can I tell you about it?? Please!?!?)

Abo has a odd fascination with death, stemming from his background. His twin shares this same fascination.

Idk if SLSQ has a 'canon' backstory for MC(aside from Carter), so I've made a backstory for the twins. I think I'll make a in depth post for it later, in the meantime here's the spark notes version; the twins family moved to America just before they were born, then died. They were adopted into a shit family and eventually one ran away. The other was caught trying and forced to stay. They lost contact, then found each other as adults and are inseparable now.

[tobi-smp]

apparently one of the takes going around about the end of wilbur’s arc is that it’s Good because it’s the solution to c!crime codependency issues.

which on the one hand, I Do understand to a degree. it’s been highlighted quite a bit that they have Real issues with loving each other but not knowing how to exist alongside each other in a healthy way.

however, I really Don’t agree here for a couple reasons.

1: Much like I get into here [Link 1, Link 2], sometimes extreme situations either cause or outright Require behavior that would be extreme or even Unhealthy in a healthy environment.

I could talk about how wilbur and tommy Didn’t have a particularly unhealthy relationship at the start of the series (tommy Idolized wilbur to an extent sure, but in the way that tommy was a Teenager and wilbur was The adult figure in his life at the time. in the way that he’d idolized Techno and Phil once too), I could point out that tommy and wilbur’s Major issues with clinginess started in direct response to trauma (pogtopia, exile, limbo) and are majorly About needing reassurance and security.

but the bigger issue is that Right Now both of them are at the point where they Very Practically Need Support.

wilbur has never learned how to forgive himself. and you could argue that that’s due in part because he remembers his failures when he looks at the people that he’s hurt. and that’s fair !

except he’s a very actively suicidal man who has now just cut himself off from literally All of his immediate friends and family. the fact that he Grew Up in utah does not mean that he has a Support System in utah.

the ending goes out of its way to confirm that he’s still Not in a good place and he still Doesn’t and Can’t see himself as a good person. that Doesn’t sound like a situation where he should be Completely Self Isolating to me At All.

and tommy.

if I even mention the name “dream” there are people whose immediate response is going to be “It’s Not Wilbur’s Job To Protect Tommy” or “Wilbur Was Never Capable Of Stopping Dream In The First Place” but the fact still Absolutely remains that wilbur is the person who makes tommy feel the Safest and tommy’s abuser who killed him three times and whose threatened to torture him for Literally Eternity is Actively out there.

the deal that wilbur made with dream to protect tommy was Directly reliant on the fact that wilbur was physically there on the server. the moment you remove wilbur from that equation the gambit is over.

it’s been directly confirmed that dream, tommy, and tubbo are going to have some kind of final confrontation soon. and out of universe it’s being planned around the fact that wilbur isn’t going to be there. I Highly Highly doubt that they’re going to write c!tommy dying after everything, so we Have to assume that wilbur doesn’t need to be there for tommy to survive.

but We Also Know For A Fact That Dream Is Going To Go After Tommy The Moment He Realizes That Wilbur Is Gone. because that gambit Will Be Over and that axis of tommy’s support system Will Be Gone. 

c!tommy is Most Likely going to survive, but In Universe there is every chance that he isn’t going to. and tommy would absolutely know that.

Disregarding the Literal Physical Danger that tommy is in right now, the fact that wilbur left him in this situation is going to hurt him (or at least, it would Realistically, whether it’s actually acknowledged in character or not is up to the cc’s). not being taken to safety and instead being left at the mercy of an actual serial killer Would Hurt Him.

this isn’t going to fix his co-dependence, this is going to make it worse. Realistically when you put someone into a traumatic/survival situation and knock out their safety nets and support systems they spiral and either Lash Out, cling harder to what they Do have, or both.

2: lets assume for a second that none of that is true and that wilbur and tommy Aren’t in positions where some level of heightened dependence is necessary (both for their mental health and their direct survival). this still isn’t the “best way” to address their co-dependence because this wasn’t Healthy.

lets look at this chain of events as they were presented in canon.

- wilbur starts avoiding tommy because he’s set his mind on apologizing to everyone, but he’s afraid of tommy not forgiving him.

- so for an actual year he pushes tommy away both without explaining why and while still wanting him in his life. tommy knows something’s wrong and he knows he’s being lied to but he doesn’t know Why. 

- at some point wilbur makes the decision that he’s going to move back to utah. we don’t know when, but it most likely coincides with his increased effort to try to genuinely make amends with the people important to him. despite this he doesn’t tell anyone what his plan is, though he does make many vague hints about him going Somewhere, and he Doesn’t let tommy back in to his life.

- that is, until, it’s time for him to try to get closure with tommy. tommy opens up to wilbur about his trauma in exile, about being abused (physically and mentally) to the point of suicide. this is the first time tommy has Ever opened up about this to anybody, the first time he’s ever used those words exactly (even to himself).

- wilbur realizes that he has to do something to ensure that his brother will stay safe while he’s gone.

even pretending like the plan he came up with Would ensure that, what happened is that wilbur pretended to burn tommy’s disks in front of him and then threatened to kill himself to dream (which, again, was confirmed out of character to be Genuine) all without telling tommy what was about to happen or the fact that it Was a plan until afterwards. something that would’ve been Deeply Traumatic.

- wilbur then disappeared again for months (this was confirmed in a stream tommy did with tubbo afterwards) until the c!wilbur finale.

- in the lead up to the big reveal tommy Genuinely thought that wilbur was going to kill himself. which had to do with what he’d been saying here yes, but it Also had to do with the fact that he Literally Threatened To Do It Right In Front Of Tommy The Last Time They’d Seen Each Other. wilbur Refused to tell tommy what was going on, to open up to him after tommy had opened up to Him, until the very end.

until tommy had been literally begging and crying, until tommy lashed out in frustration (in Fear).

- it was then that wilbur revealed that he was leaving.

- he gave tommy a book with writing that, apparently, helped tommy feel some level of closure. but he still then left Immediately after telling tommy. with no time to process.

and that’s it. that’s the end.

maybe Wilbur will find some kind of closure in this. maybe he really Does have friends and family waiting in utah to help him heal and grow, maybe he’ll get a therapist. I don’t know.

but this? was the actual opposite of healthy. this isn’t setting tommy up to heal from his co-dependence, this is traumatizing him.

he opened up about the most traumatic event of his entire life to someone he loved and cared about and Trusted and then was immediately traumatized, left alone for months on end, and then traumatized Again so he could then watch wilbur teleport away to What? another country? another plane of existence? either way, wilbur is somewhere tommy’s never gonna reach.

we’re being asked to accept that whatever tommy read in that book is supposed to make up for all of the trauma and emotional turmoil surrounding this relationship and experience, but like. I Don’t Believe That.

I Can believe that there was something in there that made him feel better in the Moment. but if the intent was set tommy up to address his dependency then he was set up to fail.

what is he being taught? not to open up to anyone about his trauma ever again? that the people he cares about are gonna lie to him and there’s nothing he can do about it?

like. I Love wilbur. I care about him More Than I Probably Should. cc!wilbur Carefully and Intentionally set up Many problems with this relationship that were Highlighted in this stream on purpose and then deliberately didn’t resolve them. the only answer we’re given is Deliberately kept off screen.

this will not Fix crimeboys. it will certainly make their relationship Different, but it won’t make it Healthy.

[hannibalecterf]

#MilkGate: A Tale of Love, Loss, and Lactation

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

So a little while ago I said this in the tags of a post:

and at the request of absolutely no one, I’ve decided to do the full writeup!

This is a very long, complicated story involving no less than 7 parties, and the destruction of a friendship group, but I’m hoping that, if nothing else came out of this mess, it might at least get me some clout on tumblr dot hell.

So, without further ado, here’s the story of #MilkGate

Before we properly begin, we need to introduce our key players, who can generally be considered in three separate groups:

The TERF Trio

Me (M): your intrepid narrator and instigator of Lactation Discourse

Cat: bravest girlie in the world

REDACTED: lady of intruige, and, incidentally, my ex

missfilchstannie: bestie, unwitting instigator of chaos, and secret fourth musketeer

The TRAs

Milk Pervert: former friend, a trans identified male and lactation kink haver

Erupting Scrote: my former best friend, male, identifies as nonbinary

Herb: former friend, nonbinary female with bones made of glass

The Inoccent Bystanders

Crow, Crystal and Flower: tangentially involved friends

Jam: another ex of mine, in hindsight did not end well

With that out of the way!

Chapter 1: Prologue

The actual events of #MilkGate went down in August this year, but really the seeds were sown three years ago, at our university’s Pride Society social. I’m just starting my second year of a four year degree. It’s the beginning of the new year, and Erupting Scrote (currently my best friend and fellow second year) has made friends with Herb in their joint class! Herb is a first year, and naturally wants to meet new people, especially some fellow el gee bee tees, and so we all decide to go along to the Pride social together. Here we meet Herb’s friend Milk Pervert, who is very tall, LOUD, and domineering in conversation. We’re hanging out in a little group, eating pizza, enjoying the surroundings, when Milk Pervert spots a girl with a fidget spinner (what can I say, it was 2017). Milk Pervert gets it into his head that he wants to play with the fidget spinner, so she points at this girl and yells “You! With the fidget spinner! Come here!” We learn that this is Cat, she is a lesbian, somewhat nervous in big social situations, and autistic (hence the fidget spinner). I actually leave the social early, but I am later informed that, within only a couple of hours, Milk Pervert had kissed Cat (without first asking permission) and asked her out, and Cat, not knowing what to do, accepted. Nobody thinks this is wrong. (Cat has since informed me that part of the reason she accepted is because she didn’t want to be seen to be transphobic. The other part was fear and confusion).

So now Cat and Milk Pervert are in a relationship which is, how should I put it? Unhealthy. Milk Pervert is clingy and possessive and never gives Cat a moment’s peace, and he actively takes pride in triggering a nonverbal meltdown in Cat. He also talks about his kinks incessantly. Not just with Cat, with all of us. After about a month of putting up with this crap, Cat ends the relationship, as politely and amiably one can manage. The rest of the friendship group, who have already become very close-knit, immediately revile Cat for the terrible crime of ending a relationship that isn’t working out for her. I, however, have grown quite close to Cat, on the grounds that she’s nice and normal, and so she remains friendship group adjacent.

Time moves on. Herb introduces us to a small social media app called Peach, which we all start using to share memes, aesthetic pictures, or uncomfortably personal details about our mental breakdowns. In my 3rd year I make friends with missfilchstannie, a lovely and intelligent foreign student who came to university a couple of years early. She never really gets into the friendship group, because they’re all uncomfortable with the fact that she’s underage. Milk Pervert is not so uncomfortable as to stop talking about his various kinks (primarily her lactation kink) in front of her. Cat goes on a year abroad, and only one other friend and I keep in touch with her all year. I have my first real breakup — Jam and I had been dating for about a year, but she breaks it off because the relationship isn’t really going anywhere. We remain friends, but we’re not very close anymore.

The summer between 3rd and 4th (final) year, I begin a tentative relationship with REDACTED. It’s intensely emotional, but ultimately short-lived — she’s about to head off for her year abroad. I tell Erupting Scrote about the relationship, because he’s still my best friend, and also he kind of guessed it was happening. He tells me, though not in so many words, that he disapproves of this relationship, but never expands upon why. (A year later, REDACTED learns from Herb that it’s because Scrote apparently believed that I was somehow manipulated into this relationship). Scrote comes out as nonbinary because he enjoys wearing makeup and the occasional skirt. When we’re hanging out one on one, it’s fun and easy, like the friendship always had been. Mostly, Scrote comes over to my house we watch old tv shows and episodes of Pointless. With our other friends, Scrote makes a big deal of how close we are and calls me his “wife”. This started as a joke, but by now it feels possessive. My intelligence and acerbic nature are suppressed and ignored by my friends, who call me “baby” and treat me accordingly.

In my final year, I write my dissertation on postfeminism in children’s films. I hadn’t heard about postfeminism before, but all of a sudden something clicked in me, and I finally understood why liberal feminism was so grating to me; I finally had a vocabulary to express my frustration. (I get 90% on my dissertation, the highest grade my supervisor has ever awarded anyone, if you even care 😤). This leads me into reading more feminist literature, and especially radical feminist literature. At the same time, Cat, REDACTED, and missfilchstannie are also steadily getting into radical feminsm, and we fuel each other’s awakenings with book recommendations and late night conversations. Milk Pervert still won’t shut up about how much he loves “tittie milk,” even when I directly ask him to stop.

Then, lockdown happens. Milk Pervert, Erupting Scrote, and Herb are living together in one house (their fourth housemate, Jam, made it home a few days before lockdown went into effect). missfilchstannie, Cat, REDACTED and I aren’t locked down together, but we keep in regular contact with each other. I also stay in regular contact with our other friends Crystal, Crow, and Flower. In June, J. K. Rowling ‘TERFs out’, and our conversations increasingly turn to radical feminsm as we watch with mounting horror the number of rape and death threats she receives.

And then, it was August.

[driftinglightofthewoods]

🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️

Send me a “🖊+an OC“ and I will talk about that OC! It can be a headcanon, a fun fact, a small paragraph of backstory- anything!Alternatively, send in just a “🖊“ and I will talk about any one of my OCs at random!

You sendin’ 20 pencils? you gettin’ 20 ocs. You asked for this.

1. Sileves

I love Sileves, I love her big generous heart and how eagerly she accepts friends of her children and her husband as honorary family members. I wish I could talk more about her job as a healer because she takes such immense pride in it and she is what I would want any nurse or doctor to be; so caring and patient and kind.

2. Methenor

Methenor is a soft boi hidden under layers of icy indifference, sarcasm and dry etiquette and I love it. He cares for his family so much ;-; And like I feel incredibly bad for him because no wonder he’s cold as ice when pretty much his entire family left him in Rivendell; His parents sailed, his older sister is who knows where, his younger brother ran for Lothlorien and now his only son left him too.

3. Malgelir

Chirpy social butterfly with a small bit of a “ME FIRST” complex towards her siblings. Malgelir always wanted to get married and have a child, and the fact that she did so before her siblings does make her prouder than she probably should be. Thankfully this isnt out of pure malicious intent because I don’t think she ever had an evil thought in her life.

She also cares so much about her hubby and her son ;-; i cry

4. Rhoscthel

Fun fact I aint got a single clue about what goes into fashion design and yet here Rhoscthel is being a tailor. Send help. Plz. I’m making this up as I go and I just hope nobody notices I’m bluffing my way through anything that takes half a glance at her skill as a tailor.

I also wish I knew how people Actually Flirt TM because Rhos is supposed to be a charming she-elf with bargaining powers that could almost rival Caranthir’s but idk anything about either flirting or haggling. The woes of an introvert trying to play a socially savvy extrovert TM

5. Amathel

With Amathel I’ve been contemplating switching her social status of engaged to married but Amathel kind of has concerns and worries about the act of getting married so idk how to really.. change her status? Like should I just change it or drabble it or..

Like it’s not that she doesnt want to be married to Lagoron, she loves him very dearly, but there’s certain expectations that comes with having a wedding especially as a highly valued member of the Rivendell guard.

Idk I kinda want to dive more into the complex nature of her always wanting to be on top and number one in her class despite the fact that she has a lot of… performance anxiety, I guess you could call it?

She doesnt like to be put on the spot or even necessarily in the spotlight even though she has an ambitious drive and is always looking to improve as a guard.

6. Innith

With Innith I’m kinda having the opposite problem I do with Rhoscthel. I don’t get to use her much because she’s a shy, introverted scholar who would really only want to interact with coworkers and patrons of the library in Rivendell; and unfortunately there’s not a lot of those muses around.

this is very much me asking you to throw Pan at her sometimes I think they could be fun together plz

I’m also a bit sad the one ship I had for her has long since sailed away. F/F ships are so hard to come by.

7. Nethel

You would think I have a similar problem with Nethel like I do with Innith but since Nethel is such a drastically different character I actually dont find it hard to find interactions for her lol. People seem to be rather drawn to her even though she’s brutally blunt. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Nethel is a lot like Feanor just minus the genius linguistic part. 

Plus while Nethel is cooped up in her workshop most of the time she does need to come out and tend to her biological needs like eating, bathing, sleeping, much to her dismay as she has little patience for small talk.

Aside from that I think most of the muns I toss her at are aware that she’s a deeply insecure person under all that brutal facade, and people generally seem to have a little more patience with a character like that? like idk, just something I noticed. 

8. Miston

Honestly without Miston this blog wouldnt exist and I wouldn’t be here to gush about all my characters, so needless to say Miston is incredibly important to me. I feel like he has grown as a character a lot since the beginning of this blog but that he has also remained true to the description I give him in his about section. He is still a character who doesn’t like sharing his feelings and rather deflect them, ignore them entirely or distract you with conversations about literally anything else.

Miston is very near and dear to my heart.

9. Eredhon

Baby. Precious soft child. Eredhon is such a sweetheart and it’s truly thanks to a lot of brainstorming with @legolasgoldy that he has been crawling out of his shell because for quite a while I myself didnt even know all that much about Eredhon.

He is a soft, gentle soul with a lot of deep running emotions and his social anxiety can definitely play cruel tricks on him, but with the right support system he blossoms into a very sweet and devoted friend who will always try to help you through any emotional problems. He’s also a lot more emotionally intelligent than I originally gave him credit for. He’s usually paired with social butterflies (see Malgelir) because he does get those type of characters to kind of.. relent the walls they build around themselves and let him see the emotional struggles they tend to ignore

He’ll also never apologises for feeling his emotions. He’ll apologize for snapping, for raising his voice, for letting his anxiety drive him up a wall and for anything that deserves an apology, but he won’t apologize for feeling sad or anxious or happy or in need of comfort.

10. Calithilon

I’ve been thinking about aging canon Cali up to at least a talkative elfling because honestly because he is so young in canon I haven’t really gotten a chance to use him all that effectively in the main storyline.

Most of Cali’s development comes from modern aus with @hclliish where he’s a teen, dating her Sleipnir (another precious child, just not one of mine lol)Cali takes after his mom in looks and unfortunately for him after his dad in personality, making him a rather shy and quiet person with a lot of insecurities. Being born to two singers makes him a natural singer as well, and his voice is higher in tone than that of his father.

Despite being an anxious teen (because when is puberty ever kind) he does find a lot of comfort in his parents unconditional love for him. They’re a very solid parents-child unit tbh.

11. Lagoron

Another character that I don’t get to use all that much, which is unfortunate because I find Lagoron an incredibly funny and interesting character. He’s a very un-elvish elf, in fact he’s more a hobbit in an elven disguise. While also being a guard, he is an entirely different type than Amathel; where Amathel yearns to be the best and the strongest, Lagoron is a team player who believes in the strength of numbers and strong bonds between guards to drag them through the most difficult situations; and that hasn’t exactly made him the top performer of the class. 

He is however truly the kind of person you want on your team, and in a fight he’s surprisingly endurant and likely to exhaust his opponent by focusing on dodging their power attacks rather than wasting his energy in fighting back.

Always has food on him and will offer it to anyone he feels like stricking up a friendly conversation with. 10/10 good friend.

12. Hinnoron

Hinnoron is definitely more of the tradtional elf. He’s radiant, and ethereal, and pleasant to be around. He also has a natural calmness about him and a certain kind of wisdom. Y’know, typical Tolkien Elf TM stuff.

Hinnoron gets interesting when you dive into his deeper relationships. His relationship with his eldest sister is on a very low pit, and the one he has with Methenor has definitely taken some blows. When Gelwenil left to follow the stars, Methenor got rather clingy towards Hinnoron, who felt suffocated in return.

Hinnoron left for Lothlorien, and to this day regrets that he abandoned Methenor when Methenor was clearly struggling with the departure of their parents and their sister. While they have mended their bond since, this kind of guilt does seem to creep into his relationships with Haldir ( @thehiddenhero ) and Oropher ( @oropherrrrr ) He often doesn’t tell them when things about the relationship upset him and bottles his emotions up to an unhealthy degree, all because he fears of upsetting their feelings or even damaging the image they have of him if he’s not the perfect, ethereal and unconditionally supportive partner. For someone who gives love so easily and unconditionally, he seems to have a hard time believing that the love he receives doesn’t come with the condition that he has to be a perfect lover or it’ll be revoked.

Someone plz teach him that he’s allowed to have needs and that he’s allowed to have those needs tended to.

13. Gelwenil

Ah yes. The lost one. Well no, not lost, she knows exactly where she’s going but nobody else does. Gelwenil honestly never meant to upset Methenor or Hinnoron when she left to follow the stars. Like Methenor was definitely struggling when his parents left for Valinor, but in retrospect Gelwenil left several years after that. Maybe not enough for him to have healed and moved on, but I don’t blame her for thinking that with his wife, children and their youngest brother Methenor would have enough of a support net to justify her wanting to explore the skies.

Gelwenil is an avid believer in the power of Varda, and also deeply respects Tilion and Arien. Any type of celestial Maia can be expected to be treated with the deepest respect from her.

Out of all my characters Gelwenil deserves the most TLC tbh I feel like she’s underdeveloped compared to everyone else because I dont use her a lot.

14. Faerveren

Uuuugh I miss Faerveren so much. Mistons second cousin twice removed, and probably the only person to ever leave him flabbergasted and when Miston is the voice of reason in a duo, you know somethings up.

Faerveren is also an interesting character because with her I wanted to present the idea of people assuming you’re always emotionally fine as long as you’re physically strong enough to be virtually invincible.

15. Nengelon

Local edition of the “I’m so fucking done with this shit I don’t get paid enough to deal with” club, together with Feren and Lindir. Nengelon tends to fall into an elven variety of Welsh when he runs upset with the leader of the Sabaid elves, and just about no one knows what he’s saying.

There’s also the implication that he basically ran away from the Riunnag (waterelves, maybe related to the Teleri through distant blood but sources (ie me) dont confirm that yet so its just rumors) tribe he belonged to because of his secret romantic ties to said leader, but Nengelon doesn’t speak of his romantic outings to anyone so it’s just a rumor.

16. Braigon

Ah, big, bulky, burly, 7 foot something Sabaid leader Braigon. Rides a grizzly bear as a warmount, wields a gigantic twohanded battle axe, and is an absolute terror on the battlefield… when he bothers to get his tribe of warrior travelers involved. Braigon tends to stroll around like he owns the place, because not many dare to defy this mountain of an elf.

Maybe thats why people are so bewildered when 5′9 sized Nengelon curses him out on his bullshit in some incomprehensible tongue they don’t know.

Braigon is actually a pretty solid leader of a tribe where elves can pretty much do as they please as long as they do their job as either warrior or provider (finding food and other supplies) outstandingly. The Sabaids aren’t a big tribe, there’s only a couple hundred of them, but they make for fantastic allies… but only if you can manage to convince Braigon to risk any of his people in any given war; and he usually isn’t concerned with fighting the battles of others for them without a good reason. 

 17. Bereneth

Bereneth is an interesting case. An accident between a Sinda lady and a Noldo refugee, at a time when those relationships weren’t exactly accepted after the reign of destruction left by the line of Finwe. (I like to believe thats something that took a generation or two for elves to get over dont @ me.)

Because of this, Bereneth was relentlessly bullied to the point where as soon as the oppertunity rose, her mother left for then newly settled Rivendell. Being under the rule of Elrond, she figured her daughter would be safe there. Bereneth remained there and bore three children to Carandolon and sailed to Valinor when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

18. Carandolon

Chieftain of a squadron while Greenwood was under the rule of Oropher, Carandolon was a bright eyed and wanderlust filled soul, born to two fullblooded Silvan elves. When on a mission to Rivendell, where he had to accompany a diplomat, he saw Bereneth and for him it was love at first sight.

When the mission was over and he returned to Greenwood, he immediately requested to be dismissed from his chieftain status and to be allowed to move and live to Rivendell.

A reckless and bold move, and it did take him a while to woo Bereneth, but they ultimately fell in love, got married, and had three children. He sailed with his wife when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

19. Nemiron

The missing link that connects Miston to the line of Finwe. Nemiron is the bastard son of Írimë and an unknown father of Vanyarin descent. Nemiron lost complete vision in his right eye when the healer tent he worked at got raided by the enemy in that war; and he threw himself as a shield between the blade and the wounded soldier it was aiming for.

During the war, he was usually found in the company of either Finrod or Edrahil, as he needed help to adjust to his new lack of depth perception. Sometimes during that same war, he left to settle in Lothlorien, where he met the weaver apprentice Dillothés. They married and moved to Rivendell as a position for an experienced healer was open there, and they had their family there.

Nemiron remained in Rivendell, despite yearning to sail, for the sake of his only daughter, and he ultimately sailed for Valinor when she was pregnant with her third child.

I havent decided if the power of Valinor heals Nemiron’s injury, but if it does (and I doubt it), it would do so only partially. His right eye will never be 100% functional.

20. Dillothés

The third and last born daughter of her parents, Dillothés worked as a weaver’s apprentice in Lothlorien before moving up to becoming a weaver of her own, selling her selfmade fabrics to tailors and others interested and making a comfortable living out of it

She became infatuated with Nemiron, who was often found in the library studying Lothlorien native herbs to aid in his small healer practice. After she learned of his injury she never backed away from him once, and helps and supports him to the best of her ability. This remains the case when they went to Valinor and whether or not he partially heals from his injury

[fundeadasylum]

This Photo of Us Part 1: Lips Like Strawberry Wine

To literally no one’s surprise it’s more Micoverse. Let’s just say I listened to Blake Robin’s Unhealthy Obsession one too many times. 

Warnings: none for this chapter

Part 2 / Part 3

**********************************

On a wet, rainy autumn afternoon, Jacob Pierly disappeared.

----

Months before, just as spring was nudging aside the last, clingy vestiges of winter and stubbornly sprouting flowers against the still chilly mornings, Jacob Pierly met a girl. He’d ducked a coffee shop, eager to warm fingers cold from poor circulation and a breeze that had been biting since the early afternoon. Instead he got a shirt soaked with piping hot coco and a frantic, scrambling apology from the young woman who’d spilled her drink on him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention--it was a total accident--I’ll pay for the cleaning! I’ll--I’ll buy you a new shirt! I’m so, so sorry!”

“I, uh, n-no, it’s f-fine, it’s just--it’ll come right out. It’s not a big deal,” Jake stepped back, awkwardly raising his hands to fend off the woman’s frantic cascade of paper napkins, “It was my fault, I was distracted. Let--let me buy you another one.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t--”

“Please?”

The young woman bit her lip, dirty blonde hair in disarray, twenty or so napkins clutched in her grasp, “I...okay.” She smiled, shy and relenting, straightening up and trying to compose herself.

Jake’s heart skipped a beat for reasons entirely unrelated to preexisting medical conditions.

----

Her name was Rosanna Pearl and she was studying for a medical degree at a nearby college.

“With a minor in chemistry,” She added as they sat at a table in the cafe, each anxiously clutching at their drinks and avoiding direct eye contact, “And you can call me Rosie. Everyone else does.”

“Jake Pierly,” He said, the corner of his mouth twitching in an awkward smile, “Stay at home editor.”

Rosie giggled, “Pierly. Sounds like Pearl. Our last names kind of match. That’s a little funny. Maybe it’s fate we ran into each other.”

“Ah, maybe,” Jake could feel his ears burning as he chuckled, “But next time fate intervenes, I hope it involves less spilled hot chocolate.”

Rosie laughed, a real, resonating laugh that made her cheeks turn pink. It was such a sweet laugh that Jake found himself laughing too.

“What do you edit, if you don’t mind me asking?” Rosie asked when they had settled down.

Jake swallowed a mouthful of decaf, shrugged one shoulder and looked out the window so he didn’t have to face his problems, “Nothing special. Usually whatever anyone throws my way. Creative writing, mostly. Sometimes academic papers but there’s a lot of jargon I don’t get in those so I have to decline a lot of them. I can’t tell you how many awful books get handed off to me by these wanna-be novelists that think they’re going to be the next Stephen King or something.” He rolled his eyes, caught Rosie’s glance, and flushed, “D-don’t tell them I said that, I mean, I do the work. P-pays the bills, you know. Heh.”

“Oh no, don’t apologize, I’m pretty sure I know the type,” Rosie raised her eyebrows, “I used to work at a salon and you would not believe the bitches--the kinds of people who came through there! Awful people. Just. Terrible.”

Jake hid a smile behind the lid of his coffee cup, “Sounds like you’ve got some horror stories.”

Rosie smirked, “I’ll regale you with them sometime.” She glanced at her phone sitting on the table next to her, “But right now I really have to head out. Tell you what, coffee’s on me next time and I’ll spill all the dirty client secrets. Deal?”

Jake hummed, “Deal. What’s your number?”

----

“DAD! DAD! JAKE HAS A DATE! JAKE HAS A DATE!”

Dan looked up from the stove so fast he banged his head on the cabinet. Head smarting and eyes watering, he turned to face the teenager spilling head over heels into the kitchen, “Ow! What!? Milo, stop shouting! What did you say?”

“He didn’t say anything!” Jake shouted, spilling into the kitchen and nearly wiping out on the tile as his socks slid underneath him.

“JAKE’S GOING ON A DATE!”

Dan stared at Milo and then looked at Jake who appeared as though he’d like nothing better than to vanish through the floor, never to show himself again. His face was bright red and he was twisting his shirt into knots between his fingers, gaze darting across the room, shoulders hunched to his ears as he curled in on himself. In contrast, Milo was bouncing up and down, a wide grin on his face, snickering madly at having shared a piece of juicy gossip.

“Jake?” And even though Dan said it carefully he could still hear the eggshells popping under his feet.

“Ih-it’s not a date!” Jake said to the floor, “It’s just a coffee…meetup. Thing. To talk about work. Strictly--strictly platonic. M-maybe even business related. We only just met today and barely know each other but sh-she seems nice and stuff and we were joking around and so we’re just--just going to meet for coffee next week. It’s not a date! It’s nothing!”

Dan winked at him, “Of course, Jake. Not a date. Strictly professional. Got it.”

“You both are the worst.” Jake groaned and Milo cackled with glee.

-----

Dan and Milo left him alone about it for the time preceding the coffee meetup (though Jake suspected Milo only did so with much bribing and pleading from Dan). Jake was grateful for that much because he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten out of the house with friends apart from Dan and...well, these days it was just Dan. So this would be a nice change of pace from the usual fanfare.

Still, that didn’t stop him from fretting the morning of and changing his shirt three times. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to be presentable. That’s just who he was. He only settled down when Milo caught him trying to match ties and asked him what “his date’s favorite color was”. Dan had to stop Jake from chasing the teenager around the house with a dress shoe and threatening to smack the smile right off his face.

“When do you think you’ll be home?” Dan asked as he ushered Milo away to find something more productive to do with his time.

“Um, no later than 5?” Jake hazard, pulling on a jacket, “I’ve got a video call with a client I don’t want to look like roadkill for tomorrow, so I’ll be home in time for dinner and a decent night’s sleep.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes, dear,” Jake chided gently, “I’ll keep my phone on and I promise not to sleep with any strangers.”

“Jake…”

“Whoa! Dad’s cheating on dad!”

“Milo, go to your room!”

“This house is a nightmare!”

Jake could only laugh as he stepped outside and pulled the door shut.

The drive to the cafe was short but enough for Jake to work himself back up into a nervous frenzy all over again. He nearly shut his leg in the car door and tripped over his own feet as he stepped into the cafe.

A glance around and he met Rosie’s pretty brown eyes at a seat near the back, private and away from the crowd, sheltered mostly by a bakery display. She smiled and waved and he made his way over, slinging his jacket over the back of the chair as he sat down.

“Hi, um, hello Rosie, sorry. I hope you haven’t been waiting long. You haven’t, have you? It’s just I had to wrangle Milo and--”

“No, no, you’re fine, I’ve only been here a couple of minutes,” She assured him with a smile, “Who’s Milo? Your cat?”

Jake choked on his own breath of air and struggled not to laugh, “Oh my g--no, if he heard you call him that--good lord. No, no, Milo’s my son. Adopted son. My roommate Dan and I are looking after him since his dad, our friend, um…” He swallowed, the lies tasting foul in his mouth.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I asked.” Rosie said quietly. She shifted in her seat, glancing away from him, “Wow, what a way to start the day. Good job, Rosie.”

“Ah, it’s not...a big deal. It’s been ten years.” Jake pushed his finger across the linoleum tabletop in an absent manner, “Anyway, weren’t you going to--what was it?--regale me with epic tales of your worst clients?”

Rosie smirked, “I don’t think I said it quite like that. But why don’t I get us our drinks and tell you about this lady who wanted every shade of pink in her hair.”

----

It carried on, as these things tended to.

Every few weeks, Jake and Rosie would meet up at a cafe or a restaurant, and share drinks, a meal, and stories of their lives. Jake told her about college, about the red head father of his adopted son, something he hadn’t talked about to anyone for ages. In response, Rosie admitted her crippling fear of academic failure and disappointing the legacy of her dead parents. They got along incredibly well for a pair of mostly introverts, enthusiastically discussing music almost every time they met up. It made Jake light up in a way that even Dan couldn’t remember seeing before.

So of course, it had to end and end badly. Because life just couldn’t be fair to Jacob Pierly.

Dan came home from his shift one evening to find Jake slumped bonelessly on the couch in the sitting room, his expression tired and forlorn, his shirt unbuttoned and rumpled, and an empty package of Oreos open beside him. The television was stuck on the retro channel, playing old reruns of shows from the 70’s and 80’s, audio muffled by age and then cleaned up by modern tech.

“Jake…?” Dan asked tentatively, setting his coat down on the back of the couch, “Hey, buddy, you okay? Is Milo sick again?”

“Huh?” Jake blinked, coming back to himself with a small jolt and looking around as if unsure of where he was, “Oh, no, he’s over at Cody’s right now. He’s fine.”

“But...you’re not.” Dan said, easing onto the couch as if afraid he would startle his friend away, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Mm...I dunno…” Jake sighed, letting his head roll back onto the couch cushions, “Not really, but…” He sighed again, “I screwed up, Dan.”

“How’s that?”

“I...I asked Rosie out.”

Dan brightened but then immediately sobered, “Ah, that was, um, real brave of you.”

“Tch,” Jake snorted and his lip curled and for a second, Dan saw a flash of forgotten bitterness and old anger bubble to the surface, “Yeah, sure. Would have been great except she...she said no.” He deflated all over again, staring at his fingers curled loosely in his lap, looking more drawn and tired than ever, “Said I must’ve gotten the wrong impression, that she never wanted to be more than just friends. Said...we should probably...not see each other for a while.”

“Aw, Jake,” Dan murmured, “Jake, buddy, I’m sorry.”

Jake shrugged and sniffed as if he could dismiss the dreary atmosphere hanging in a cloud over his head, “‘S whatever.”

“Nooooo, no it’s noooottt,” Dan cooed, scooting closer to his friend on the couch, “Come here, Jake, let Dan hug all your sorrow away. Hug Machine Dan is here for you.”

“No, no, no Hug Machine Dan!” Jake backed up, but Dan pinned him against the arm rest and crushed him into a hug, “DAN! DAN LEGGO!”

“Are you done being sad?”

“YES!”

“Lies. I’m gonna keep hugging you!”

“I’m going to tell Milo to eat your cookie stash.”

----

Jake’s funk lasted for weeks.

But, eventually, as summer tumbled awkwardly into autumn, apologized, and politely stepped out of the way, he got over it. Jake tended to hang onto things and hang onto them hard and it took work for him to let them go. But he was trying and Dan could see he was trying and told him he was proud and Jake shoved him and they laughed and tried to pretend they didn’t miss the echo of a third laugh that should have been there but wasn’t.

Things were getting better. Things were looking up.

And then, on a wet, rainy autumn afternoon, Jacob Pierly disappeared.

[survey--s]

372.

Are there any specific things you have to do every night before you go to bed? Yeah, I definitely have a bedtime routine lol. I sort everything out downstairs - so that means giving the dog his tea/letting him out, filling the water bowls if necessary, emptying my wax burner and picking a new scent for the next day, putting all the blankets etc. away, tidying up any rubbish and washing any dishes, then brushing my teeth, peeing and getting my stuff sorted for next day before getting in bed.

When you're in a relationship, do you like a lot of space, or do you prefer to talk to them as much as possible? Nowadays I prefer lots of space, but in the past I’ve been quite clingy and in all honesty, it caused a lot of problems. 

When you go to the zoo, what enclosure do you head to first? I tend to just work my way around, but I always spend the most time near the penguins, elephants and tigers.

When you get sick, are you a "good patient" or do you tend to complain about it a lot? I just like to be left alone when I’m sick - I’ll sleep, watch TV or just relax on the sofa. I’m not good if people keep fussing over me though.

When the power goes out when you're on the computer, what do you tend to do instead? Mess about on my phone instead, or read a book.

Do you buy DVD's, or do you prefer watching them online for free? I haven’t bought a DVD for years lol. I just use Netflix or whatever these days.

When was the last time one of your parents was angry with you? Why? Years ago probably. I don’t live with my parents so they have no business getting angry with me lol.

How long have your parents left you in the house by yourself for? I mean...I don’t live at home lol but when I was living there, 2-3 weeks at a time when they went on holiday.

How old were you when your parents started letting you stay home alone? Uh, probably around 9-10 years old for short periods, but once I turned 12 I spent the whole of the school holidays home alone, pretty much.

Do your parents let people of the opposite sex sleep over in your room? They did once I turned eighteen, but I was allowed to sleep around their houses before that age which made absolutely no sense to me, lol.

If you wake up during the night, what do you do when you can't get back to sleep again? Mess about on my phone.

Do you have enough credits to change your Xanga username? Would you change it if you could? Ha, I remember those days of saving credits. I did change it a few times.

Have you ever suffered from insomnia, or from some other type of sleep disorder? Yeah, definitely. I either struggle to fall asleep or to stay asleep during the night. Could you cope sharing a room with someone who snored? Mike snores. It’s a real PITA but I have no choice - we only have one bedroom and there’s no way I could sleep on the sofa.

Do any parts of your body crack a lot? My back, neck and toes. Do you have all your wisdom teeth through yet? Have you ever had one taken out before? I have two left and two have been removed.

Do you prefer curly or straight hair when it comes to your preferred sex? Curly hair.

Do you enjoy thunderstorms, or do you still find it all a bit scary? I love them so long as I’m not outside in them.

What's your ideal type of weather? Do you get that weather a lot where you live? Blue skies, sunshine and around 16-18 degrees with a breeze is perfect. We do get it a fair bit, mainly around April and September.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself at home, or do you pay to go to the hairdresser and get it done professionally? I do it myself at home.  What household chore do you not mind doing? Vacuuming, laundry. Would you say you ate a healthy diet, or do you eat a lot of junk food and unhealthy snacks? Hmm, I’d say it’s probably 50/50.

Do you find you tend to get sick when you're stressed out about something? I get anxious and I lose my appetite when I’m stressed, yes.

What do you do with your hair when you can't be bothered to style it properly and need to go somewhere? Just tie it up in a messy bun.

What's your favourite film from the last five years? I have no idea what’s come out in the last five years, really. I never go to the cinema anymore. When you're on the computer, do you listen to music or watch TV more often? I have the TV on pretty much all the time.

Do you have any snacks in your room for when you get hungry? What? No, I don’t eat in the bedroom really.

[dragonquill]

Gotham and LGBT+ Representation

So. Gotham.

On its surface, Gotham has more LGBTQA+ characters than most shows, and this should be good.  But the more the series limps on, the more enraged I am by this representation, and the more I feel like Gotham manages to be more dangerous for the community than shows that pretend we don’t exist.

Before I start, let me say that I know there is no such thing as a healthy relationship on this show, especially romantic ones, but I still argue that m/f relationships are treated, on the whole, with more respect than queer ones, and it really gets under my skin.  I’m going to sort through the various romances played in the series, as well as the strongest example of queerbaiting on the show (Penguin/Riddler; a one sided romance) to explain what I mean.

NOTE: I am not against all the m/f pairings on this show, INCLUDING the controversial Lee/Ed, even though it doesn’t row my boat because of how it has been wedged into this No Homo Ed idea.  But the idea that we should accept out of nowhere straight couples, and that straight couples are generally given more nuanced relationships, burns my cookies.

Relationship 1: Jim and Barbara  m/f, one presumably straight character, one definitely bi character

The one good thing: No one shows any problem with the fact that Barbara is bisexual, and in the first season I never got a vibe that Barbara’s sexuality was erased because she was engaged to Jim, a man. Everything Else: Of course this relationship was unhealthy, with Jim expecting her to accept everything she was told and her being clingy and demanding.  Jim is meant to be the protagonist of the show (a whole ‘nother issue, in that he is incapable of personal growth and responsibility), so the show is crafted to make her seem unreasonable for wanting to know what’s going on in his life.  Eventually, they break up.  Jim moves on to another m/f relationship while Barbara, tellingly, has relationships with both two men and a woman but remains obsessed with the wonderful Jim Gordon.  Of course, she was also kidnapped and sexually tortured, which allowed her to release her “real” self.  How nice.  And JIm gave no shits about really helping her.  But this was all Gotham-typical terrible writing of women.  The relationship was shown as dedicated and mutually loving until it fell apart, at which point the bisexual character went batshit.

Relationship 2: Montoya and Barbara f/f, lesbian character, bisexual character

THe Good: Um..I guess....Montoya’s being lesbian hasn’t...affected her job?

The Rest: Montoya and Barbara had a mutually toxic relationship which involved drugs in their past.  They’ve both cleaned up.  Babs has moved on.  Montoya, however, is written as the jealous, possessive bitch who wants to get Babs away from that evil, evil man.  She dogs Jim at work and tries to tell Babs not to see him.  Tellingly, when Babs and Jim DO break up, they’re together for one night and then Montoya gives a speech about how they can’t be together and disappears from the storyline entirely.  Their relationship was written entirely as a foil to JIm/Babs, presents a lesbian character as a jealous bitch, AND was shown as mutually unhealthy.  

Relationship 3: Jim and Lee m/f, both so far presented as straight Overview:: This relationship was well-developed, they suited each other well, they were shown as loving and good for each other.  They break up, there’s Gotham-appropriate drama, Lee goes fucking batshit but whatever.  The relationship itself is treated as well-developed, interesting, and healthy, as well as long-term (still in love after breaking up).  As far as actual, believable and nuanced relationships in the show, this and Ed/Oswald are the best written.  The difference is, of course, that since JIm and Lee are a straight couple, they get a time period of actual happiness before things fall apart, instead of it being a one-sided, queerbaiting mess.  Also, Jim is obv. still in love with her two seasons later.

Relationship 4: Ed and Kristen m/f, both so far presented as straight (Ed presented as NO HOMO) Overview: This relationship is toxic and terrible, Ed is a creepy stalker, and Kristen ends up murdered.  AND YET, it manages to be treated respectfully for  few episodes, they are shown to date traditionally, people are happy for them.  Kristen is held up as Ed’s True Love despite the fact that he didn’t really know her as a person, she was horrified by his dark side, and he frikking murdered her in the end.  NO HOMO Y’ALL.  Hella unhealthy, but Love of His Life and the writers just won’t revisit this and show how terrible Ed’s behavior was throughout.

Relationship 5: Jim and Valerie m/f, both so far presented as straight Overview: Presented as a healthy short term relationship.  Ignoring the horrible treatment of Valerie as a character which stems, again, from the terrible writing and fridging of women, the relationship itself progresses along normal paths and is treated as a regular relationship until it turns out Jim is obv. still in love with Lee and they break up.  

Relationship 6: Babs and Galavan m/f. presented as straight and bisexual

HERE WE GO.  Once she goes crazy, Babs abandons her “healthy,” “normal” monogamous relationship with Jim Gordon and the writers immediately turned to the bisexuals are promiscuous stereotype (don’t tell me I’m slut shaming because I’m not; people who have responsible sex lives do you, I’m talking about representation in this show).  FOr no apparent reason, she is thrown at Galavan.  At the same time, it becomes clear she is having sex with Tabitha.  Her actions are increasingly sexual in nature without the influence of her “good man,” and she becomes more and more unstable.  Sexual only relationship, exists to make Galavan look more powerful because he’s having sex with a hot lady.

Relationship 7: Babs and Tabs vs. Relationship 8: Tabs and Butch f/f, bisexual and bisexual; bisexual and presented as straight

Okay this is the one that just....ugh.  They could have gone with happy polyamory, but instead they create a weird sort of love triangle.  Babs and Tabs have a sexual relationship that is never portrayed as a romance.  They are both HIGHLY sexualized characters by this point in both dress and actions; Tabitha has definite dominating tendencies.  ANd yet, when Tabs starts her relationship with Butch, Babs becomes the jealous one while saint Butch, our everyman, is fine with sharing.  The entire triangle reeks of “It’s awesome these two women are having sex because LOOK OUR EVERYMAN character is TAPPING THAT.”  Butch falls in love with Tabitha, there are certain indications she begins to return his feelings.  Babs, meanwhile, murders Butch out of jealousy.  Damn those women who love women and their insane jealousy.  

Relationship 9: Oswald and Ed m/m, asexual gay, NO HOMO OHMIGOSH presented as straight

The Good: RLT is proud no one made a big deal in-show that Oswald fell for a man.  That’s nice.  Shame it’s followed by the gay guy falls for straight friend cliche he said he’d never play....

Ah, the ultimate in queerbaiting and one of the most cliched of all storylines when it plays out.  Here we have one of the most nuanced, well-developed relationships in the show, the two characters knowing each other over an extended time, growing as people, and apparently learning from each other.  (OF course it’s hella unhealthy, they MURDER TOGETHER, but this is GOTHAM).  Then, Oswald falls in love, determines to tell Ed, and Isabella appears out of nowhere with her Wholesome Straight Love and it all falls to hell.  SPECIFICALLY because a woman was thrown at Ed in an astonishing move of NO HOMO.  Oswald, our gay man, becomes insanely jealous a la Babs and has Isabella killed.  Ed destroys Oswald’s life, followed by one of the most obvious COming Out parallel storylines IN HISTORY (Coming to grips with his feelings for Oswald; becoming the Riddler) which, as soon as they meet again, is completely ignored in favor of their hating each other.  Relationship becomes interesting and nuanced again in season 4; 4x15 is shameless queerbaiting; Lee is IMMEDIATELY thrown at Ed a la Isabella to make sure there is NO HOMO.   The weirdest thing about all this is canon Riddler is queer as a three dollar bill.

Relationship 10: Ed and Isabella m/f, both presented as straight What the ever loving hell.  Some of the worst writing in Gotham history, giving no introduction or interesting follow through.  I’m so proud y’all saw Vertigo, good for you.  Pat pat.  Isabella is created for no other reason than to NO HOMO Ed.  She isn’t given time to develop as a complete person, behaves in weirdly abusive ways, is obsessed with tragedy, and is willing to completely destroy her own identity to pretend to be Kristen.  Then she dies.  The end.  And yet, this is another Love of Ed’s Life, we’re supposed to believe he is deeply in love with her within two weeks (and not be suspicious how “perfect” they are together), and her Pure Straight Love saves him from the evil Oswald’s Gay Love.  Yes, I get that one can read this with layers of meaning (literature degree here), but NONE of that appears in-show, and I am no longer giving the writers the benefit of the doubt. Once again, as with Ed and Kristen but in reverse, the writers see nothing problematic with Isabella’s behavior...I guess?  So?

Relationship 11: Lee and Mario m/f, both presented as straight THEY LOVE EACH OTHER IT IS PURE AND RIGHT look at this normal, healthy relationship that ends so tragically!  AWWWWWWW!!!  No one is manipulating anyone!  Yay!  Sure, she goes batshit after, but here was a nice, healthy relationship complete with wedding and Lee standing up to Jim’s bullshit.  THANK GOODNESS THEY ARE STRAIGHT.

Relationship 12: Babs and Ra’s m/f, bisexual and presented as straight Again, bisexual Babs is having sex with Not Bashir to improve his cred because he’s tapping a hot chick.  And that’s about it. Relationship 13: Sofia and Jim m/f, both presented as straight This is one that comes out of nowhere, she is OBVIOUSLY manipulating him and he is OBVIOUSLY a moron, but we’re all supposed to accept it because we have tossed together an attractive male and an attractive female so sex obviously happens.  Naturally the relationship is a mess and destructive, but the audience is still meant to just buy into it immediately because, despite a total lack of chemistry between the actors, no emotional build up, and her Using Her Evil Feminine Sex to manipulate him, they’re straight so.  Sex.  ACCEPT IT.

Relationship 14: Ed and Lee m/f, both presented as straight WTH.  They were really interesting as friends with shared interests and then Riddler suddenly decides Ed is in love with Lee because she is Pretty and Smart, ohmigosh, and just in time for 4x15′s epic  queerbaiting.  SO the basis of this relationship is Ed Has a Type.  Lee deserves better than Ed but, hey.  Man, Woman, Sex has to happen.  Also there are hints that she’s just using him a la Sofia because we didn’t get enough of that this season but whatever.  ED IS STRAIGHT 5EVA and women can only use sex as a weapon!  Listen, it’s hella unhealthy yet again, but we are just supposed to accept it because Ed is totes straight and she’s purty and yuk yuk men are so easy to lead by their dicks.   AT LEAST They were given some background before the Sudden Romance, which could make them one of the more interesting potential couples, and I can see why people ship it, but it’s so insulting to the storyline and to the characters that it was obviously created entirely to give fallback from the queerbaiting they were going to do with Ed and Os.

IN SHORT: It is more harmful to fill your show with bisexual stereotypes and tired, cliched gay fall for straight friend storylines and bitch jealous gays and lesbians and only straight relationships are valid than to not have them there at all, and Gotham needs to be called on the carpet for it instead of being lauded as forward thinking and open.

[proxylynn]

*Lynn typing away and staring hard in concentration at her laptop*

Jack: What are you doing, sunshine?

Lynn: Well...I figure if I’m anything like OG Lynsie, then I’m capable of digging up lore on you guys too. Granted I can’t with Mal as I have to wait for payday to get into the Patreon, I used my spare bucks after bills to get into yours, boo.

Jack: I’m honored.

Pedro: So who ya diggin’ up stuff on?

Lynn: Doe.

*across the room he’s napping on a nest of newspaper like a dog*

Peter: Why him?

Mal: Better safe than sorry, mate.

Lynn: Yeah...And uh...I’m not sure what to make of this.

Peter: Where’d you find all this?

Lynn: The creator’s CuriousityCat. Get a load of this...

his voice sounds like when someone talks to you in a dream and when you wake up you cant recall what they sounded like, only some of their words that slowly vanish from your memory as you wake up.  he does like to repeat words a lot though and his voice is either very slow or VERY fast when he talks depending on how excited he is.  his repeating words can vary from just a few times to over and over without taking a breath.

I would consider him a yandere! He's clingy, needy and in love to an unhealthy degree to the point he would alter the very fabric of reality to make you love him (or at the very least make it so you can't leave until you give him a chance).  So yeah, I think he would fit under that archetype.

his favorite color is burnt sienna.

he likes burgers.

he loves that electric static feeling you get from licking vintage televisions.

when he blinks it sounds like a different sound effect (i.e glass shattering, car crash, etc).

his birthday is November 35th.  he usually celebrates with a nice dinner with his meat effigy of "You".

his species is "regular guy".

he very much has cartoon physics and is generally pretty goofy.

If you try to stab him before he stabs you, the knife will gently sink into him and disappear and reappear in HIS hand.

who says he actually killed You in any ending.

as for cleaning his room, for every piece of trash you remove, 2 more appear in its place.

if you stared at John Doe the same way when he was staring at you your eyes would touch.

doe loves WHATEVER "You" looks like, regardless of body type.

I don't think he'd get puns about his name, they would go over his head I think.

he’s always known about You.

If You ever kissed John he wouldn't need his meat effigy anymore.  it would make him very happy and I think his reality would reflect it a little.

other things does john doe finds cute (aside from a scared “you”)...heartbeats, eye contact, pretty much anything "You" does he finds cute and endearing, baby rats before they get hair on them, raw meat.

what does doe smell like...wet and raw.

what type of candy Doe likes the best...hard candy :) broken glass.

if you sleep in the same bed as him he’ll just stare at you the entire time.

he don’t have a belly button. his feet have three clawed toes.

I don't think he'd be the best at cheering You up if he saw them crying, he'd probably stare a lot, call You cute and wrap himself around You (including his hair). it wouldn't be the most pleasant though, his hair is slick and his body is uncomfortably warm.

brushing his hair would likely get you tangled and your brush eaten...by the hair.

he's very forward and doesn't really beat around the bush, he'll just say he loves "You" and cling to that, that's essentially his way of flirting.

the name of the city he lives in is called "The uncanny valley".

he’s  20-40 in age.

doesn’t wear makeup unless that’s something you want.

The "doe loses interest" ending is mostly caused if "You" is overwhelmingly adamant about saying "No" to him. Doe misses a lot of normal social skills, but if you continue to be firm with him, he gets the hint and leaves "You" alone. (The bloody mess in the kitchen is still present in that ending because rather than a show of his love, he leaves it as a parting gift).  Otherwise, if you show any interest in him for the most part he'll take that as a sign that he has a chance and will continue to pursue "You".

He has no "traumatic past" or specific reason he is the way he is, he’s just doing what he thinks is totally normal.  Hes just like that lol.

how would Doe deal with You being a hoarder and depressed? well he’s a hoarder himself, so You being a hoarder would make that worse.  he'd most likely lose You somewhere in his house.  he’s probably not the best person to help you with depression, unless you like watching a lot of tv while he stares at you.

his whole self is very fluid and shifting/changing around. He can change to fit what "You" prefers or wants, or it can be random.  he is fluid nonbinary ^W^ any pronouns work for him, I just personally use he/him usually, his gender is mysterious like him.

How would Doe react if You died? he might not notice for awhile.

he’s normally 5'8", but he can be taller or shorter if you'd like!

Known Powers: Time Manipulation - as shown in the 4th ending, John Doe seems to have some kind of supernatural control over time, including foresight and the ability to create time loops. Psychokinesis - also shown in the 4th ending, John Doe is able to force You to talk and behave in the way he wants, against their own will.

And this is what happens if you poke his eyes...

*everyone just stares in visible horror at whatever the hell is living with them*

Mal: We’re all gonna die.

Lynn: *shrug* I still think he’s neat.

[stripesquadsideblog]

Perhaps I should concentrate at work? Well, not gonna happen anyway XD 2,4,5,9,11,28,35,41 if you don't mind.

big post so brace yourself

2. Hate

Tsurushi is not a hateful person by any stretch ofthe word. He likes to put on a tough guy facade, pretend that everything sucksin that stereotypical teenage angsty way. He says he hate many things: peace, foreigners,his class mates, his clan mates and basically anything different from hisfriends narrow world view.

Everything Tsurushi hates is simply for the sake offitting in.

After the field trip arc he patches things up withKagura and stops hanging out with a bad crowd and eventually the little cuddlebug he is comes back out. He’ll never be a flower child with a smile and a hugfor every living thing like some of his clan mates but Tsurushi is generally areally nice person with a kind heart.

Ichirota on the other hand can be a very hatefulyoung man. He is bitter towards his parents for essentially isolating him whenhe was younger (even as an adult now he fails to understand it was for his owngood as he was very ill), he hates the era he lives in and Chojuro for creatingthis world of peace were people like him just don’t fit in and he really hatesoutsiders who preach chojuros peaceful nonsense without understanding what it’sreally like to live in a peaceful kiri.

While he’s not usually outspoken in his hate ofthings, he gets a lot worse after the field trip arc. He’s prone to violentoutbursts and huffing like a child when his views are challenged. His parentssuspect he’s resentful towards shizuma for failing him but they don’t quiteknow how to ask.

 4. Fears

Tsurushi as I’ve mentioned is a mess with anobvious anxiety disorder bubbling in the background. It might not be a fullblown illness right now but he’s defiantly going to struggle with it in thefuture.

In terms of actual quantifiable fears Tsurushi isafraid of Shizuma. Not so much after seeing him beaten and broken by boruto andkagura, reduced to a bloody mess on the floor a dejected look on his face as herealises how badly he just fucked up. No after seeing shizuma like that he can’tbring himself to be afraid of him anymore. He’s dangerous, like a caged animalyes but Tsurushi only pities him now.

When Tsurushi was a child he was afraid of caves aswell. There are a lot of caves in and around kiri that fill with water becomingwatery coffins for anyone unlucky enough to be trapped in them. After going tothe academy and learning some basic water survival he’s mostly conquered thisfear but still shudders occasionally on a stormy day during high tide.

Ichirota is afraid of lots of things. Not that youwould ever know that. He keeps his fears hidden behind a veil of confidence.But this mask is paper thin, it wouldn’t exactly take someone like Ibiki morinoto push the wrong buttons or pull the right string and have it all crumblingdown.

Ichirotas biggest fear is actually being trapped:inside a cell or a room or a coffin. The size doesn’t really matter he justneeds to know that he can get out

5. Crying

Ichirota and Tsurushi are both ugly criers. Their facesare red and their noses are running and they sob and hiccup like children.

However where they differ is in the details: Tsurushigoes from 0 to 10 awful fast. He could be ok one second and the next you need alife raft to escape the deluge of tears. However it doesn’t really take much tostop him crying again and get his face back to normal. One well timed joke andhe’ll nose laugh himself happy again.

Ichirota on the other hand is a real slow builder. Ittakes A LOT to make him cry but when he does he just can’t stop. He gets prettymelodramatic about it too, like if HE is crying then the world must be ending. It’spretty difficult to get him to stop and it takes hours for the flush to fadefrom his face and the redness to fade from his eyes.

9. Music

There is always music in kiri so both of them grewup with it. I think they can both play some sort of instrument. Tsurushis momsings and plays the piano and I think he probably did too at some point. He eithergave it up when he became a big tough ninja or gave it up when people found outhe liked to sing and play the ninja equivalent of Mozart because don’t be such a girl Tsurushi. He tries to hide it but if there’s musicplaying he probably knows it and will sing the lyrics under his breath

Ichirota has really grown to hate music. His parentsforced him to play when he was younger. They tried everything to get him interested:different tutors, about 20 different instruments and even bribery. He would getgenuinely interested every now and again because he was too sick to play with the other kids so he might as well. But gradually interest dwindles and he windsup staring at the ceiling again.

11. Best Friend

Tsurushi has a lot of friends, or at least thatwhat he tells himself when the group gets together to try and cause somemischief. But when he’s home alone he realises that none of them would come ifhe called and it makes him pretty depressed. He looks at a photo of kagura andhim when they were academy kids and wonders if he made the right decision tofollow shizuma if it meant being such a jerk.

He tends to just push those thoughts to the sidebecause who needs a best friend when you have as many friends as him?

Ichirota never had friends as a child. He developeda bit of a superiority complex to cope with it. A sort of “I don’t care if you don’t like me, I’m too good to be your friendanyway” thing. He was ill and then so socially maladjusted he didn’t makehis first friend until he was a genin and put into a team. Ichirota was prettystandoffish at first. I mean he was essentially forced to be friends with thesesecond class losers.

But as time wore on, he eventually he came to lovethe people in his team. The worked flawlessly together and he has photos ofthem together everywhere he goes.

But like most things with growing up eventually theteam had to move on. One member left to marry her fiancé. They live in sunanow. The other member was asked to join the hunter squad. Even if Ichirotawanted to talk to her he probably wouldn’t be allowed.

Now as an adult he is loyal to a fault and dare Ieven say a bit clingy. He was willing to die by explosion for shizuma and hisplans. I think it goes a bit beyond best friends with shizuma, almost to an unhealthydegree. There’s a little bit of idolization and hero worship in there thatsomeone emotionally unbalanced as Ichirota could do without

28. Home

Home for Tsurushi is the hachiya family plot. It isquite unlike the rest of kiri. It is lush and full of life and greenery. Hachiyashouse is covered in constantly blooming flowers and wildlife. The inside of hishouse is always the perfect temperature, inviting and present. The wet climateof kiri is perfect for growing things but the cold tends to let them down. As suchthe family land is heated constantly by their fire style users and is now someof the most fertile growing land in all of kiri.

The hachiya family uses this to grow herbs and medicinesfor most of the village. They are among the kindest clans in kiri and have noproblem sharing with anyone who might need it even outsiders. Now you mightthink that kiri Nin would eat such kindness alive but you’d be wrong. Everyone hasa sort of fearful respect for the high ranking Hachiyas because if they everrealise what kind of power they have in being the village healers (and thendecide to withhold it from anyone who’s mean to them) the whole of kiri wouldbe collectively f’d in the A.

Ichirotas house is constantly cold even in themiddle of summer. To the untrained eye it looks inviting and lavish. The oniyuzufamily are mostly non ninja with expensive tastes. They like things they knowand have a fondness for antiques. The clans land is decorated like a feudalvillage. With the clans enormous wealth they have found a way to incorporatethe latest technology in with the old world aesthetic.

Ichirotas house is not his home. When he joined thestripe squad they let him in on their little secret: an abandoned building theyhave turned into their head quarters. Shizuma shows him to his room. It’s easilya 1/8 of the size of the one he’s used to but he loves it 100x more. Because it’shis and he earned it and he can decorated it whatever way he wants. Home for Ichirotais a pokey shoe box room in a crappy old building decorated with lights andphotos and best of all no antiques.

 35. Guilt

Tsurushi has massive amounts of guilt about prettymuch everything he’s done in the last few years. Try as he might he just keepsmaking stupid decisions because he’s justso afraid of sticking out .he wants friends and he wants to fit in but atwhat cost?

He acts out of course in different ways trying tocope with it. Yells at people who don’t deserve it for asking questions “why don’tyou hang out with that karatachi boy anymore? He was lovely, such a politeyoung man.” Eventually the guilt keeps him awake at night. By the time thefield trip arc rolls around he’s hardly sleeping at night, frequently nappingduring class and in the afternoon when he should be up and about.

After the field trip incident he decides to make achange. He stops talking to shizumas messenger boys and makes up with kagura. Theguilt doesn’t fade like he wanted it to but he hope with time, things willchange.

Even after being caught and getting in trouble. Evenafter hurting a lot of people and even after he finds out about all shizumasmurders Ichirota refuses to feel oraccept any guilt. He remains stubborn even as his mother is crying in the chairacross the room for him just begging him to admit he was wrong and say he’s sorry.“I didn’t do anything wrong” he says through gritted teeth causing his motherto sob and his father to shake his head in anger. “I didn’t do anything wrong” he repeats it like a mantra as theycart him away in hand cuffs.

By the time he reaches his cell it’s more of aquestion than a statement

41. Memory

So I’m not sure if this refers to a specific memoryor their ability to remember stuff so I’ll just go with if they have a goodmemory or not

Tsurushi has an ok memory. He frequently forgets toput on matching socks, grab his lunch on the way to class and leaves hispartially done homework on his desk but he always knows what day it is, whenpeoples birthdays are and how many bottles of his favourite soda are left inthe fridge.

Ichirota hates forgetting things. Really trulyresents it. He has very few memories from early child hood. He spent so muchtime in hospital back then he tells himself it’s probably not worthremembering. He’s beginning to getting more forgetful lately too which reallyscares him. Both sets of his grandparents had some sort of dementia and hewonders if it’s hereditary or that his illness may have set it off prematurely.He brings his concerns to his parents who tell him he’s probably just stressedor tired. he thinks to himself that he can’t wait to forget about them.

[tidethreads]

Share your Shaun thoughts!!

my saving grace here is that i don’t actually have more than like 2 shawn stans following me so at least the fandom won’t see this. here are some opinions™:

- shawn’s team is amazing at creating parallel narratives where depending on how real a stunt is, they gently lead the fandom to a story with shawn always being the good guy

- similarly, they’re absolutely ruthless to the girls (Camila, Hailey) in a very subtle but precise way that makes them seem desperate and clingy and attention-whorey with, again, shawn being “the opposite” and idk why Camila’s team hasn’t realised that her bringing him up doesn’t do her any favours in the eyes of his fans - not too sure about the GP though

- he’s probably gonna have to do a girlfriend stunt before the next album bc it will likely wreck his narrative by having songs about an established relationship on it and there’s only so many times he can deflect about exaggerating and writing about other people and shifting the content on his co-writers

- similarly, he was backed into a corner in the RS interview and had to actually say something about Hailey that wasn’t a denial and as demonstrated in my points above and literally any interview of his ever, he likes to deny the relationships so that if people end up realising it was a stunt later on, he technically hasn’t actually lied to their faces. i feel like he’ll have to do that, though, if they’re doing a full-on relationship stunt - there is no way he’s going public with any relationship in the near future

- him being authentic™ will be a source of immense pressure and anxiety for everyone involved when it comes to his next promo cycle for new content, right now he’s lucky that e.g. no one has called him out on lying about never having been in a relationship before when he slipped up on camera and admitted he has, but this fandom is obsessed to an unhealthy degree with him being honest about his relationships and i’ve seen even people who i respect and who i consider to have informed opinions flat-out say that they can’t imagine shawn will ever hide his relationship from the fans for more than maybe two months and that the songs he’s released so far are literally about girls he saw on a bus and daydreamed about because they could never fathom that he has lied to them and would feel immensely betrayed. i really don’t know how he’s gonna get out of that one other than a full-on relationship stunt and then going public in maybe 2+ yrs with whoever he’ll be dating then because it’s for sure not happeng now.

[inloveswan]

Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicy, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) SPREAD POSITIVITY!

First of all, BABE ILY AND FEEL HONORED TO BE ONE OF YOUR 10 FAV

1) I have killer eyebrows, I might be an average looking person but my eyebrows kinda rock lol

2) I’m in general a curious person and LOVE travelling and learning about other cultures to a very unhealthy degree. But that’s what helps boost my mental health the most.

3) I don’t get drunk easily but when I do I’m a very fun drunk, the clingy type who hugs everyone and tells them I love them but I’m a positive drunk at least and not the brooding type.

4) As I grew a bit older I started appreciating my own culture more, I remember my generation being completely detached from that culture, especially in our teenage years and only loving western culture and I was one of these people as well. But for the last couple years I found the beauty in my own culture that is very unique and something in the middle and I started to love its east-west meshness. Maybe it’s because I got a bit more mature idek. But realizing the beauty in your own identity and culture is quite beautiful.

5) I love taking scenery photos, I’m not a professional obviously and only do it on my phone but I’m not too bad at it either?

[anoldwound]

Fic Meme #1

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like. 2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle. 3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards! 4. Do ten of these, then post them. Song 1; Mike/Bella: I'm Sticking With You - Velvet Underground 2:29 "Hey," said Mike, sidling up next to Bella at her locker. She stiffened slightly, but she turned her head and smiled at him. "Hi, Mike." He shuffled his feet slightly and tapped his fingers against the steel absent-mindedly. "You coming to work later?" "Yeah," she said, slowly like he was a touch slow. "I always do." "Yeah, of course. I was just checking." He shrugged and smiled. "How are things, anyway?" Bella mirrored his shrug and smile. "They're okay." He could tell by the look in her eyes that they weren't. He patted her arm and said, "I'm here for you, you know." "Thanks." Song 2; slight Mike/Bella: Banquet - Bloc Party 3:22 Mike ran his hand casually through his hair as he gazed at his reflection in the mirror. His new hair-cut was pretty cool, he thought -- granted, it was a style he had completely stolen from Edward Cullen, but he had to admit the guy had a good sense of style. Even if he was a complete douche. He sniffed and rubbed the underside of his nose. He wondered if Bella would notice... but of course she wouldn't. Her life had become entirely consumed by Cullen, and it worried him a bit. It seemed to him that a girl shouldn't give up her entire life and all of her friends just to hang around some guy 24/7 -- especially a guy like Edward Cullen. Mike wasn't entirely sure what about Cullen bugged him so much, but he knew it wasn't entirely because he was going out with Bella. The guy was just creepy, was all. Song 3; Mike/Bella : Into the Night - Santana ft. Chad Kroeger 3:39 There was nothing more freeing than riding his bike in the dead of night, the cool wind blowing through his hair, steadily speeding down a steep hill, and feeling the world just rush past him in a large blur. It was the perfect way to forget everything, forget the world, and forget his stupid problems. One of the stupid problems being Bella Swan. He honestly didn't know why she continued to haunt him, even though he knew it was a lost cause. He didn't even know why he liked her, to be perfectly honest -- the girl was clingy, and odd, and whiny, not to mention that bizarre depression she went into when Cullen had left, and the way she just took him back after he had abandoned her so cruelly. Mike just couldn't fathom how that worked. She hadn't even hesitated for a second to take him back. There was something unhealthy about it all. But, try as he might, he couldn't get her off his mind. Not even when he rode around town for hours and hours, endlessly searching for something... he didn't even know what. Song 3; Mike/Angela : Ineluctable - David Byrne 4:19 "I don't know what I'm doing sometimes," Mike said quietly, his hand gripping the porch railing. "I know what you mean," Angela said, blowing out a puff of air. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up at the stars. "But I don't think any of us do." "I thought college was going to be so easy, you know?" Mike said, turning around and crossing his arms. "But it's not. And sometimes I feel like..." He trailed off, the words getting caught in his throat. "Feel like what?" Angela looked at him, face etched with concern. Mike felt his stomach drop. "I feel like... like I feel differently about you than I used to." A short silence. "In what way?" she asked quietly. "I think... I think I'm sort of falling in love with you," Mike said, gulping and not looking at her. God, he was so stupid. He was totally blowing it. Why did he have to say that? Why? Their friendship was totally ruined now, it was just -- She was kissing him. "Eh--?" he said after she broke away. "Shut up," Angela growled, oddly aggressive, and shoved him against the railing, kissing him fiercely, pressing into him tightly, making him groan and go hard. She moaned and thrust against him. Song 5; Gen: Revolver - The Donnas 3:30 Mike experimentally gripped his hand around the holster of the gun. He wasn't going to mess around with it or anything like that; he just wanted to get the feeling of it. He'd always had a sort of weird fascination with hand-guns. It had nothing to do with wanting to kill people, or even animals... it just had a sort of elegance to it, somehow. He shook his head and let it go before his dad came back and saw him holding it. He would totally freak out if he saw Mike holding a gun again -- last time he had been grounded for an entire month, even though the gun had been on safety and he hadn't even been pointing it at anything. Mike supposed part of his fascination had to do with watching so many westerns when he was a kid -- all of those cool cowboys twirling their guns around and cooly shooting rowdy bar patrons, being vigilantes... something he'd never do. That was probably why. Song 6; Mike/Bella: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie 7:55 Mike wrote Bella a letter every week. E-mails were too impersonal, all shiny computer screens and dim lighting. No, letters were real -- the rough texture of the paper, the pen imprints, all of the cross-outs from when he'd said something too personal or something too emotional, or when he accidentally spelled something wrong. Letters were true, and carried meaning with them. He'd spend almost two hours penning one, crumpled-up rough drafts littered around his feet, dried-up pens arranged around his desk. It was a lot of work, getting it just right, but it was worth it. Except he had been sending her letters every week for a year now, and he still hadn't gotten a reply. He didn't know why he still kept doing it -- clearly, Bella wanted nothing to do with him now that she was married blissfully to Edward Cullen and was living in some remote region in Alaska (which had never made sense to him; he'd figured Bella would want to go to college somewhere sunny). It hurt. It hurt a lot. But he still wrote the letters anyway. He needed to remember her, for some reason, and he wanted her to remember him too, even if she didn't want to. They had been friends, and friends shouldn't just cast each other off like that. One day, he went to his mailbox, and an envelope was lying inside. Irrationally excited, he ran back to his dorm room and ripped it open eagerly, his heart racing. It read: Dear Mike, Hello, Mike. I hope you're doing well at Northwestern. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but Bella has requested that you not send her letters anymore. I can't tell you her reasoning for this, but rest assured she still values you very much as a friend, and she hopes that you're doing well for yourself. Best of luck, Edward Cullen Mike let the letter drop to the floor. Song 7; Gen: Hyperpower! - Nine Inch Nails 1:42 "Ha! I beat you again, suckaaaaaaa!" Eric shouted at him tauntingly, pointing his finger at him wildly. "Um. Eric. It's just chess. No need to get so worked up," Mike said jokingly. "Ha! That's what you think," Eric said triumphantly, crossing his arms. "Chess is a reflection of life, ergo I beat you at life." Mike chuckled and shook his head. "Whatever you say, man." "It is now time for EXTREME CHESS!" Eric declared, slamming his queen on the board. "Are you ready to be annihilated?" Song 8; Mike/Jessica: Starlight - Muse 3:59 Jessica laughed insanely as she clung onto his waist. "Mike! Slow down! You're going to get us killed!" She didn't sound terribly scared, however. "We're about to reach this really steep hill!" Mike shouted, pedaling faster. Jessica shrieked and gripped onto him tighter. He smiled. "You're crazy!" she yelled, and Mike turned his head to look at her, her wild curls streaming behind her. He had never seen her look more beautiful than she did right now. "Maybe I am," he said deviously, arching his eyebrow. Jessica made a face at him. They reached the hill, and Jessica screamed in delight as they shot downward practically 90 degrees. Her loud screaming almost broke Mike's eardrums, but he didn't mind. Song 9; Mike/Bella: I Wish The Best For You - Emerson Hart 3:50 The wedding. Wedding. Mike still couldn't believe it, even after the rings had been exchanged and the vows had been said and the kiss. Even after the reception and the flower-tossing and the cake and the bad dancing. He'd had to leave -- he just couldn't take it anymore, watching the two of them. Bella, married right out of high school. It just didn't make any sense. "Mike?" He turned, and was startled to see Bella standing behind him. "Hi," she said quietly. "Hey," he said. They stood there silently, just looking at each other, the air hanging heavy between them. "Congratulations," he said. "Thank you," she said, but she didn't look too happy. "If you ever need anything..." he said. Her face broke into a warm smile. "Thank you," she said again, and this time, it was heartily sincere. He smiled back. Song 10; Mike/Edward: Nancy Boy - Placebo 3:19 It was one of Mike's best-kept secrets that it wasn't Edward Cullen he was jealous of -- it was Bella Swan. This crush of his was completely ridiculous, he knew, but he'd had it ever since he had set eyes on the astonishingly good-looking boy -- no, not boy, man; the word "boy" didn't suit him. He had barely even thought the words, "Wow, that guy's hot" before Edward had turned his head toward him sharply with a surprised look on his face. His heart had almost stopped, but then he realized that it wasn't like this guy could hear his thoughts or something. It must've just been a coincidence. Maybe Edward had thought he was someone else, someone he knew. Because he hadn't done anything that could've betrayed his thoughts... right? He sighed as he mindlessly doodled Edward's name on a piece of paper, then promptly scratched it out furiously and threw it away.