#i fucked up but it was not my fault
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so you know how in space babies ruby is all like, are they growing the children for food, and the doctor responds really strongly how that's a silly idea? my dude, like a day ago you were both literally fighting goblins that feast on human babies, ruby made a perfectly reasonable guess here
#by my dude i mean mostly whoever wrote that piece of dialogue#LOOK ruby's doing alright! it's not her fault her introduction to aliens was a little bit fucked up#i guess its also because you cant expect everyone to have watched the special episode#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#space babies#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#dw#octarine talks
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KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.
uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)
Klee: Kaeya! Come down here! Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?
Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know... Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right? Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y- Klee: Oh. Klee: OK OK OK- Kaeya: Hm? Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one! Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.
Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands! Kaeya: Mhm! Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!
Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?
Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much! Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!
a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."
#I LOVE YOU KAEYA#these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg#i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe#ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#genshin kaeya#im putting em all in here f u#klee#diluc ragnvindr#ragbros#none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic#my art#sona#these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself..#not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con#rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry#kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow#OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH#HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖#this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him#is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be#ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think#... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰
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i feel the urge to make an aita post cause goddamn
#i fucked up but it was not my fault#i still feel deep deep remorse and embarrassment#and she’s not mad at me in the slightest#but i feel absolutely awful about it#i’ve done things like this before in the past#where you make a comment to someone but because you don’t have full knowledge of their life you accidentally say something that touches#and i did that for three days before she told me#she thought i knew the whole time#i just feel so deeply sorry and so deeply sad for her#the whole thing is a mess#and it’s triggering my flight response in which i feel like i should just never talk or see her again#which is silly as i am in love with her and have been dating for 4 months#and i am literally taking a train to see her in like 12 hours#it’s just i feel so bad#august talks#sleepy girl
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tag yourself
#doodles#sketching#warmup#sketch page#twilight sparkle#my fucking roommate wont shut the hell up and I cant focus on my actual work should I explode her with a ballistic missile?#its not her fault i just have misophonia#expressions#the silly goober#mlp fim#my little pony#fanart#my art#original art#small artist#autism creature#artists on tumblr#digital art
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Yeah yeah linux having problems is a big joke but honestly have you considered that linux wouldn't run like shit if it didn't have to reverse engineer byzantine proprietary drivers and hardware architecture and deliberately hostile BIOS firmware and one thousand other things that exist solely to force everything that isn't a corporate OS to suffer miserably on every computer ever
#it's easy to get mad at linux for having all these arcane issues but have you considered that this is the fault of corporations#Computers are literally explicitly designed to be hostile to linux because that's not friendly to advertisers and corporate interests#I'm sick of getting shit for running linux. I hate all the problems i'm having too. Obvioisly. Fucking clearly#But it's not a stupid prize for stupid games. It's a punishment for having the audacity to want my computer to be fucking mine#I'm sick of using billboard OS. I'm sick of having to hump spyware to talk to my friends. I just want to have a computer#And that's fucking difficult because computers are literally built from the absolute bedrock up to be hostile to the way out#This isn't my fucking fault. I'm not fucking stupid. It's corporate bullshit. fucking again. I'm a victim of spite#not of choosing the problems OS#problemnyatic rants#problemnyatic vents#problemnyatic thoughts#linux
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Something something fate bound enemies to lovers slow burn 10k blah blah blah
#cookie run kingdom#crk#crk fanart#goldenspice#burningcheese#golden cheese cookie#burning spice cookie#yes i am on that bandwagon but to each their own yaknow#oh no im down BAD for these two what the fuck#my fault for getting attached to their dynamic#eating them up politely#art#crnl's crk journal#doodle#trying to make something out of this and i might as long as work doesnt rob me of the chance#pretty good for never drawing either of them before me thinks
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coming back home.
@barrenclan
#patfw#patfw fanart#patfw spoilers#rainhaze#THE NEW ISSUE. IT SURE WAS AN ISSUE HUH. I AM NORMAL. SO NORMAL IN FACT#THAT I REDREW A PANEL OF THE COMIC IN MS PAINT#i need someone to put this horrid beast down already. he needs to DIE i am not joking. euthanise him. please.#he is soooo fascinating.#i CANT get over his expression in this panel. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM#hes smiling .is it a genuine smile? is he smiling bc he knows how this is going to go and all he can do is laugh now?#why. why why why the smile. at first he looks shocked or surprised or terrified but THEN it turns into this playful soft grin. as if full o#nostalgia. or maybe grief. or maybe joy. he looks like he knows something we dont.#did he accept that his family is going to get wiped out (HIS FAULT HE KILLED HER HE RIPPED HER THROAT OUT) and is just happy he got to see#them one last time?#this is so weird. before killing asphodel he was so terrified of meeting them. of facing his past and acknowledging what he became.#is him smiling a symbol of him giving up? becoming part of defiance? hes not running away anymore. he doesnt have to.#jesus.#my art#wanted to make him look as fucked up as i could. i hope he looks like a corpse or perhaps a starved dog to you
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y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way
like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!
idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing
#ramble#ok to reblog#can you tell living back home has brought up a lot of unresolved stuff#the amount of times i said 'there is something wrong with me' and i was told i was fine just made me feel like i was the problem#and that i should just try harder instead of there being a physical barrier that i couldn't control#idk there's just a lot of anger from realising that it wasn't my fault and NOBODY tried to help me#@ parents: different doesn't mean bad. help your fucking kids
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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Love is like a poison (2024) 毒恋~毒もすぎれば恋となる~
Episode One.
#love is like a poison#doku koi: doku mo sugireba koi to naru#毒恋~毒もすぎれば恋となる~#doku koi#jdrama#hama shogo#hyodo katsumi#soomedits#this is the first gifset i posted this year... huh#photopea had ample time to fuck things up this past year#hardly anything works the way it used to anymore or just straight up doesn't work at all????#my old way of sharpening doesn't work anymore#when i tried to add a selective colour layer it just turned everything black??#as do some other things i always did for the colouring...#i have to fucking reload the page to get any of the filters in the gallery to work + i can't even see the picture while adding one??#and the timing is just one big question mark...#fun times. some of it might just be my old laptop. or the browsers fault. but i've tried other methods... they were worse.#i really enjoyed the first ep though so i pushed through and made a little something
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More about Loser Baby but about the moment where Angel calls himself a “coked up dick sucking ho”
He calls himself that to demean himself. Many other characters (antagonists usually) use the same kinds of words to demean Angel and imply he isn’t worthwhile.
But Husk says “baby, that’s fine by me.”
And it makes Angel smile, it’s what really cheers him up.
The entire song is about having value as a person despite where you are in life.
#it’s time to lose your self loathing excuse yourself let hope in baby!!!#there’s actually many different parts of the song I could talk about#like also#the first step to being better is to stop digging the hole#and it’s so fucking hard to stop digging#and also just like. shit just fucking happens!!!! people end up in bad places and they DESERVE respect as human beings#even if it’s their fault#that’s what my other post was about#huskerdust#hazbin hotel#Angel dust#husk#thots4thoughts
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the weight of family and the pull of gravity
#those are song lyrics listen im running out of dramatic one liners to use as captions HGFJKD#i like the DRAMA!! the DEVASTATION!!!! if it doesnt feel fitting to the emotional weight i feel then i will DISINTEGRATE ON THE SPOT#the pic looks more saturated as i post it than it does in photoshop so hmmmgh not sure how the balance will be? c'est la vie it's j for me#u can rip those fuckign birds from my cold dead hands. i wont give them up. sleepie made fun of me for my bird motifs BUT I LIKE THEM#I NEEDED THEM FOR THE COMP IT GGRGAGAHAHHH#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#twst spoilers#ch 7 spoilers#oh yea i wanna make an animatic to that song once ch7 is done. maybe.. i fucking HATE making animatics but its SOOOOO SILVER#blame lettie its her fault#suntails
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hate to say it, but part of ending the stigma around sexual assault means not assuming every woman blames herself. yes, female socialization encourages it, but that doesn’t make it a given, and the goal of all of these campaigns is to eventually diminish the proportion of women who do blame themselves. it is entirely possible, and increasingly common, for women to experience sexual assault and not feel shame or guilt, which we should be happy about. but instead, there are only so many times you can hear “you know it’s not your fault, right?” before it sounds like “it was your fault”. and there’s only so many times you can hear “don’t blame yourself” before it sounds like “you should blame yourself”. because it feels good to say, doesn’t it? sure, you don’t believe she’s guilty, but you do believe she should feel guilty, so that you can disabuse her of the notion. just something to consider.
#i think we are very pleased with the idea of female shame#even among people who genuinely do not believe women are at fault for being assaulted#you are still meant to pay the penance of suffering and self destruction#god fucking knows why#“i got mugged” “aww don’t blame yourself for walking around with those fancy shoes and visible wallet okay? it’s not your fault”#you’d be like girl what. i didn’t fucking say it was my fault but your mind sure jumped there fast 🤨#“my mom died” “wow. do you feel terrible crippling shame for everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life?#up to and including causing your mom’s death? because that would be totally wrong if you did”#like how could that possibly be an appropriate response#genuinely i think the feeling that i was going completely insane post-being raped because no one would believe i didn’t blame myself#was like. solidly half as traumatic as the actual event#like. it is okay not to feel guilty and shameful. it’s great actually. you’re not having the wrong response.
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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Regional at Best is so special because it feels so exactly like what it is, which is an album made by a young person, younger than I am now, who'd given up everything else to make this dream work and probably had no idea what the hell he was going to do if it didn't. Keep working a normal job? Go back to college? What do you do if the dream doesn't work, when you're an early-20-something who (like all early-20-somethings) has precisely nothing else figured out? What do you do if everyone's right and the art isn't worth it?
Then your bandmates leave. But actually, it turns out perfect anyway, because you end up with this other guy who also has precisely nothing else figured out and no plan B except to be in this very band with you. How rare and precious of a thing that is, to meet someone who believes in your art just as much as you do. At least if you fail you fail together, right?
I think RAB feels like the end of summer and growing pains because it exists in that same itchy, anxious space as your last summer before you graduate high school/college, when it begins hitting you that there will never be a summer like this again because next year you're supposed to be grown up. But the truth is you never figured out how to grow up and you never figured out how to stop dreaming. So many people have to learn that lesson for various reasons, but Tyler and Josh never did because they believed in it so much that I think it truly never could've failed. Even if they never got as big as they did w/ Blurryface, I think they never could've failed because they are for the dreamers.
Self-titled is complicated and beautiful and core to everything else they would do after, but RAB is the beating heart of what tøp was always meant to be imo. It's embracing the fear of getting older because you have no other choice, while acknowledging you're still a little afraid of the dark. It's a night light for the grown-ups who are still scared of long dark hallways they can't see the end of (and work email chains). You turn 23 and discover you probably don't actually want to die as much as you used to, and also that you still think pokémon cards are fucking rad, and both of those things are okay. And maybe you'll never get out of this goddamn town but it never hurts to dream
#twenty one pilots#regional at best#im beginning to feel like clancy is an unintentional response back to rab#because in a lot of ways clancy is about what happens when you're actually Grown Up and how you reckon with that without destroying yoursel#like both albums are sitting at a table in my mind and oldies station/glowing eyes & next semester/forest are having conversations#idk i love rab so much despite any technical faults because#it's not just that it understands what it's like to be in your early 20s it literally is just being in your early 20s. and You understand I#whenever i listen to it im like ohhh you certainly were like 21-22 and lonely and sad as fuck when you made this#and i mean it as the highest praise because me too
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"Yeah, but we talked about it and I didn’t want it." "Why not?" "Because it scared me."
#critical role#ygifs#cr3#fearne#she got me fucked up#her leaving her treasured cherished postcards at the altar of the raven queen where so many memories are left#leaving the one thing that had been her lifeline and her hope. the most important thing to her and she leaves them behind#because they weren't what she thought they were.#her innocence growing into sadness and that's the reason why she feared the dark versions of herself#because she was sad and angry and alone#this faun wearing her heart on her sleeve and running from what hurts her and it's just. ms johnson i'm#''do you think it’s the world changing you or do you think it’s you changing in the world?'' ''yes.'' girl i'm on my knees#I couldn't be more grateful fearne continued from exu this growth hurts so so so good I'd die for her#fearne angry? delicious. fearne sad? delicious. fearne tits? del-#fearne this episode you can really taste the If I'm Not Pleasing People It's My Fault When They Leave and it bit me
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