#i forgot about daylight savings time so i thought it was like a video game reference or xtianity

[quihi]

A couple years ago, I forgot about daylight savings time. Usually even if I forget, I notice right away because the clocks on the wall and next to my bed and on the stove and microwave all need to be manually updated, and I fix them all and am aware of the time change. But not one year.

The evening before the change, there was a power outage. It was very brief, no big deal, just enough time to get completely disconnected from a video call and lose the round of whatever online game we were playing. But it was late, and I didn't feel like running around the house fixing all the clocks instead of hopping back on the call. I could do it in the morning.

So the next day, I got up, and I set all the blinking, completely wrong clocks based on my phone's clock, and went about my day.

Hours later, I was sitting down and looked up at the clock on the wall. Huh. I thought it was later than that. Weird. Disconcerting. I don't remember how long it was before it clicked—when I'd set all the clocks that were affected by the power outage, I'd updated them to daylight savings time, and hadn't even realized daylight savings time had started. Only the analog battery-powered clocks had stayed the same, to inform me there was a discrepancy and it was now daylight savings time.

[morganaofcamelot]

Robin Hood BBC Commentary/Rant - Season 1, Episode 1 - “Will You Tolerate This?”

‘Tis the second time I’m watching the series. During my initial viewing, there were a lot of things I’ve missed, and frankly, I ignored. So I will take it step-by-step, focusing on the four main characters of the show - Robin, Marian, Guy & the Sheriff - as well as their interactions with the others. You must forgive my english, I am afraid, as it is not my first language and some things may get lost in the translation. I won’t go into much of a technical issues (camera angles, unneeded slow-mo’s, not period appropriate costumes etc, but I will mention some that caught my eye. And, expect memes and references thrown in there, cause if my life is a joke, then I will make jokes of others’ lives, too.

Fair warning: some slight cussing, I guess. Thirst over Guy of Gisborne, some distain for Marian. The usual. Enjoy, under the cut!

Oh, almost forgot! @maxkiki @antigonemorris

1.       Robin makes his heroic entrace, saving Allan A Dale. This first scene sets the tone of the series - Allan is poaching, the guardsmen are relentless and want to punish him, clever Robin has conjured a plan of smoke and mirrors. The guards actually believe that there are more than two people surrounding them. A plan that goes well, until Much opens his mouth. (I loved Much btw, but I think they sidelined him later on).

2.       Their escape and the business at the barn(?). Here, we get a better glimpse of the kind of man Robin is, the irresistible womanizer that he is, the dashing rogue! What we learn for Much is that he likes food. The daughter of the man that offered them food for labor, is taken straight out of a dance-pop music video (again, I will not go into detail, but I just had to say it, because it almost made me stop watching the first time). As Robin snogs the girl, Sarah, her father explains to Much (and us) that there’s a new sheriff in town and he is BAD. The father sees them, and goes to fight for his daughter’s honor, and Robin showcases his agility and finesse (the sword fight is silly, to say the least) and his love for flair and flirt.

3.       Locksley, at last. Sentimental Robin walks around the village, sees that the villagers are frightened. Dan Scarlett is the only one who isn’t afraid. He explains the situation even more – that Guy of Gisborne runs Robin’s estates, that he works for the sheriff, and that the punishments have been harsh for anyone stepping out of line.

4.       Fabulous Gisborne enters the scene. Nothing short of a diva, Guy of Gisborne rides into the village, inquiring about stolen flour. Now, this is where it gets interesting. Gisborne is “quiet menace” incarnate. He talks quietly, but threateningly all the same. He asks for the perpetrators, and when no one comes forth, he gives the order to take the one he had already caught back to Nottingham. This is where Robin steps in, there’s a hint that he and Gisborne know each other, but nothing more. When Robin reveals his identity, Gisborne takes it like a champ, even though he is humiliated in front of the peasants.

5.       The manor. Robin tells us that Much is a free man now. Gisborne enters the manor and welcomes Robin, saying that he ran the estate at the behest of the sheriff. Robin, for reasons unbeknownst to us, acts like a prick. Then Guy asks him about the Holy Land, and Robin replies the good old “oh, show me an argument that was ever settled with blood” and Gisborne calls him out on his bullshit, as he should. But Gisborne isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and lets slip that he has seen Robin fight, and Robin wonders ‘where?’ Where, indeed, sir Guy? Don’t stress over it, we will learn about it somewhere further down the line. Gisborne informs Robin of the sheriff’s feast, and Robin decides to lord it over Guy, saying that he will demand the prisoners to be released. Guy says, ‘I don’t get paid enough to deal with your bullshit, take it to the sheriff’ and thus ends the confrontation.

6.       ‘She’s still unmarried’. So. Robin tells Much that he will pay a visit to the old sheriff, Much wants to get some rest, although out of obligation and love towards Robin, he concedes. Robin offers the food of the feast his servants were preparing to the villagers of Locksley, to Much’s dismay. Now, Edward of Knighton, seems like a man that has lost his mind, he doesn’t recognize Robin and behold! Marian, with a bow and arrow and ringless fingers (as Robin will comment later), telling them to go to hell. Robin tries to work his charm on her – seemingly it doesn’t work. Then it’s the ‘bless you Robin for feeding us’ scene, which is kind of wholesome and cute and I don’t mind it.

7.       They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard They’re taking the sons to Nottingham.: Sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke. Remember Dan Scarlett? His sons have been arrested for stealing that flour Gisborne made a fuss about, and so they were taken to Nottingham, to await the sheriff’s judgement. Nottingham is a shitty place, by the looks of it. Robin promises he will plead their case.

8.       The BIG BAD. My boy Gisborne is pacing around the room, frustrated. The sheriff pulls a Shredder on us for a little while (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reference, because I got range) and laughs in his face because Gisborne didn’t force his claim on the manor, besides having 24 men and Robin only had Much. It’s safe to assume most of the peasants wouldn’t get involved in the fight. See, Guy is taking the high ground here. The sheriff assures him that the manor will be Gisborne’s by the end of the month. (Keith Allen is a scene stealer and he is phenomenal in this role, I love him.) The way he plays the next scene, which is the meeting of the lords of Nottinghamshire, is marvelous. He mocks them in their faces, and nobody bats an eye. Robin makes his entrance, Marian and her father are present, they exchange some ‘pleasantries’, and then Robin throws shade at the Pope (not present), and asks to abolish the taxation policies in favor of free market capitalist schemes (yes, I went there). The sheriff, being an old-fashioned chap, is pro-feudalism, and I imagine him that in modern-day, he would be a Brexit enthusiast/Trump supporter.

9.       The birds. The sheriff is upset and goes to his birds to find some peace. Oh, I thought, he loves animals, there’s a redeeming quality! Oops, he accidentally crushed a bird. Nevermind

10.   Marian & Robin creep me out, part I: Marian asks Robin to drop by her house after midnight, because the house is being ‘watched’. Robin goes into insta-flirting mode, hitting on her, which she likes, despite what she says. (and question: Robin was gone for five years (Marian tells us), the betrothal happened when Marian was sixteen, but people say she is supposed to be nineteen at the start of the series(!) Was Marian fourteen when she got betrothed to Robin, and Robin was like, twenty-five, I guess? Not creepy at all.)

11.   Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming: Robin interviews the flour thieves. We learn that the punishment is for them to hang. Allan A Dale lied to get an audience with Robin, only to learn that his lies would lead him to the hangman’s noose.

12.   The Sheriff owns Robin. Oh, the shade! The sheriff is a straight up savage, one of the original gangsta’s of medieval England. My boy Gisborne is in the back, doing what Gisborne does best; looking hot in leather. Marian walks in and smirking, my boy Gisborne steals her away.

13.   Grow up, Robin. Alright, next scene. (Obviously one of those shot into broad daylight, but made it look like nighttime) Robin and Much visit Knighton and Marian tells them to step in, because they will be seen. Robin decides to be a snarky, jealous bitch. Edward of Knighton explains how the new sheriff got in power, and begs him to play the long game, which we know that Robin won’t do, because Robin is, as Robin does. But he thinks on it.

14.   The hanging #1. Robin walks amongst the peasants, inconsolable. The sheriff and Gisborne come to the courtyard, and commence with the hanging. The sheriff has Much, to prevent Robin interfering with the punishment. A “clergyman” asks for the prisoners to be released and let join the Church. Robin smirks, which means it is his plan. The sheriff’s not buying it. The drum rolls…and the stools gets kicked. Robin goes into Avatar state and starts kicking butt, freeing the prisoners, whilst the whole castle watches and does nothing, before the prisoners are free. Silly battle ensues, Robin saves Much by throwing his sword. A bowman is aiming at Robin, but doesn’t fire. Marian does her ninja trick, saving Robin’s life. My boy Gisborne relishes the fact that the manor will now belong to him.

15.   The gang escapes and makes it into Sherwood where they are ambushed by Little John and his twenty men, who in later episodes disappear.

[maskydoo-old]

Nightmare Neighbors 5

(I’m writing out scripts for upcoming storytime style youtube videos, and posting what I have here. Note that this is a true story. Feedback is welcome.)

Ok, so we’re several videos in now, and if you’re just jumping in – hi. You should probably go watch these to get caught up.

But the TLD…W version of this is:

Moved into nice house in supposedly nice neighborhood. Oops crazy neighbors. Boyfriend is away, small lady alone and unguarded. Ambushed! Insane troll logic. I’m too tired for this. Crazy up to 11. Humans need mute buttons. Reddit to the rescue! They’re watching me…

Was that a helpful catch up?

Probably not. Go watch my other videos.

I worked hard on those.

It didn’t take long for the neighbors’ harassment to become a regular thing. Whenever I’d be outside, leaving to work or going home, the Loony and Toony Feckwad, both of them now, would be outside to scream their insults.

They weren’t even pretending to have a complaint anymore. It was just yelling abuse.

Toony mostly stuck to repeating his usual lines. I’m a this, I’m a that, I’m all kinds of things I can’t say if I want to keep my videos PG. I’m heinous, a term he probably got from a word-a-day calendar. I’m a psycho, yeah, look who’s talking. And I’m ugly, because…. That matters, I guess.

Loony was more involved. She wasn’t more creative with her insults, since she probably didn’t know any more words than Toony, but she sounded less like she was reading off a script. She’d jump around like a monkey, lunging towards me only stopping at my property line because of the video camera at her face. And she’d direct her screaming at me, not about me like Toony.

I wouldn’t say anything. Not one word. I just quietly recorded on my phone and saved the evidence.

Unfortunately, my phone was kind of crap and with all the wind and car noise, it was hard for it to catch what they were saying clearly, and harder still to prove how much of it was directed at me. I couldn’t really do anything until I had something usable.

I could hear their screaming loud and clear, whether I wanted to or not – I had no choice, but when I’d play back the recording…

(indistinct sound)

Loony and Toony were even harassing me in broad daylight now. I suppose the lack of consequences for their actions so far emboldened them.

But on the matter of daylight… let’s go back to how they called me ugly.

I’m no beauty queen and I never claim to be. And, I’m fine with that. I don’t really care too much. Looking good is nice, but I don’t see why it should be so valued over anything else about me. I do not care.

It’s just… they don’t really have a lot of room to talk in that department. And as I was seeing them in the light of day for the first time in some while… well… a few things stood out.

The pair were always pretty thin for their height, but now they were looking more gaunt than ever. Even at a distance, their skin looked dry and cracked over their sunken faces. Loony in particular was looking uncomfortably leathery.

Aside from Loony’s orange spray-tan, their skeletal faces were missing color, not just light but pale. The only thing breaking it up were the angry red sores they were collecting. Loony’s long bleached hair was wiry as long as I knew her, but now it was visibly missing patches, like fistfuls have been falling out… or pulled out. Toony looked like he was losing hair too.

And the eyes, those crazy eyes. They were more bulging and wild than ever, with harsh dark circles beneath like they slept even less than I did.

It was apparent that they were seriously neglecting their health and hygiene. Their bodies were deteriorating as much as their mental state.

And that wasn’t all they neglected. It wasn’t even a matter of mowing anymore. Their yards, front and back, got to be completely overgrown with weeds, and dead trees were left standing and ready to fall.

So yeah, definitely the kind of people with such pride in their lawns they’d be mad over dog poop and trash from the wind, huh?

The fading fake flowers they had strung over their ground floor windows, tacky as they definitely were, showed the at least cared about appearance once - but clearly something changed that.

On the advice of the lovely and supportive people of /r/letsnotmeet, I started reporting incidents with my crazy neighbors, Loony and Toony Feckwad, to the police.

Now, it’s not that I cared what these people thought, it wasn’t that they were hurting my feelings. The problem is that to do this, they’d have to be actually crazy, so there was no sense to their actions.

I wasn’t calling the cops because I took the neighbors’ words personally. It’s not like they hurt my feelings or anything. I really and truly do not care what these people think. They’re jerks, why would I value their opinion?

What I DID care about is that these people were targeting me for harassment in what was now a continued pattern of escalation over time. These people were undeniably hostile and completely irrational.

I couldn’t predict how far they might go or if they might ever become destructive towards my property or even violent towards me. Irrational people do not act rational.

So I figured the best option was to get the police involved sooner rather than later, before matters could get truly out of hand. And /r/letsnotmeet agreed.

I made sure the police were aware of the situation, and made reports, but nothing much came of it – yet. They didn’t even go talk to the Toony that time. Fine by me, this is what I expected. that’s about what I expected.

The important thing was getting police familiar with the situation, and getting the a police report on file.

There would be a LOT of police reports.

The thing is, it wasn’t just me they’d go after. In these events, they’d randomly start screaming at eachother, too. They’d scream, she’d threaten to leave him, he’d alternate between worshiping the ground she walked on and calling her a the same things he was just calling me. Then they’d go back to screaming at me again.

It was sometimes unclear who they were verbally attacking one moment to the next. They’d switch without warning.

I don’t know what was going on, but it was clear they did not have a healthy relationship. And really, how could they? They’re not healthy people, physically or mentally.

I might even feel sorry for their for their apparent marital struggles if they hadn’t decided to drag me into it.

Ya know, it’s a good idea for partners to spend time together, share common interest, get a hobby together. Just. Maybe make sure that hobby isn’t harassing the smallest neighbor you can find?

But f- what I do I know - I’m no couple’s therapist.

(Take your misery and give it to someone else meme)

I’m no mental health professional, so I couldn’t like diagnose these people or anything. But there was clearly something going on here psychologically, and worsening all the time. Maybe related to substance abuse, maybe not.

So one night I got home at 11 at night and once again there they were. 

I saw them when I pulled into my driveway. I would  have just parked in my garage, but I drove the wrong vehicle for that, and it was already full. So I had no choice but to park in my driveway.

I just won’t look at them, won’t say anything-

L: “ARE YOU PLAYING A GAME?!”

I never know why Luna says that. She was jumping around all crazy right at the property line. It looked like she was going to come at me, but she stopped when I held my phone up.

L: “Yeah, start recording B-, F- you!”

So, they knew they were being recorded, and STILL did this.

T: “I don’t see how anybody could possibly be as psychotic as that F- rotten C-”

If he was talking about Loony, I would have agreed. But no. He meant me.

This is where it got weird. Well, weirder anyway.

Luna called me something new, a D-boy. As in, male genitalia boy and then yelled some intelligible accusation at Toony.

I don’t know why Luna suddenly was calling me this now. I’m pretty clearly a woman.

I guess she thinks accusing people of being transgender is supposed to be some kind of scathing insult but like, there’s nothing wrong with being trans anyway. So… all she was really doing was demonstrating her own bigotry, among all the rest of her character faults.

Toony yelled back at her.

Toony: “I’ve NEVER f-d that rotten s-t! I’d never possibly want any part of my body touching any part of that F-ing disgusting psycho f-ing c-’s body! Never!”

What the f--???

L: “Which psycho c- are you talking about?”

T: “Same one I just said a second ago! Maskydoo Surname at 8802 Illusion Drive! The f-ing rotten waste of skin!”

Whaaaaaat?

Is that what this is about? Seriously?! Where- where did this even come from???

I did not speak to these people. I did not like these people. And at this point, in the story, I didn’t ever know what these people’s names were!

I’m sure I was told their names at some point, but forgot. Which made calling the cops on them weird.

Me: “My neighbors are harassing me again.”

Cop: “Ok, I’ll send an officer out. What are their names?”

Me: “Frack if I know.”

The idea that I’d even want have anything to do with Toony was laughable, just on the face of it. Who. Would? And it so out of nowhere. I literally have no idea how Loony even got this at all. But it’s no good trying to rationalize irrational people.  

Toony’s strategy for proving his innocence and his devotion to Loony was to scream at me, or about me but still like totally at me, about how horribly unattractive I am.

I just. How does that seem like solution?

Like. Ok, say your crazy partner up and accuses you of cheating, and with someone you didn’t even speak to.

What do you do? What does a typical person do in this situation?

If your answer is to stalk this innocent third party and make a point of loudly screaming insults about how disgusting that person is in front of your crazy partner, then Toony I would like to remind you that I still have that restraining order and leaving a comment here would probably counts as a violation.

He could just stand up to his crazy wife. Correct her nonsense accusations. Or just dump her crazy donkey. But NO! NO! That would take balls! And if he had any of those, he wouldn’t be going after what he thinks are easy targets, short little ladies living alone.

And hey, Loony, Loony. Think about what you’re saying. You think I’m an ugly d-boy… and you also think your man wants me more than you… so… what does that mean about you?

Loony: “You better F-ing move c-!” As in, move out of my home. Sounded like a threat to me.  

Ok, so maybe at this point your bullshit meter is maxed out. There’s no WAY anyone acts like this. I’m just making this all up for… I don’t know… internet points. Well, I have the video!

It’s not great quality, like I mentioned before, but it’s something. So, like. Here you go. I stuck it at the end of the video.

Anyway, that recording was just enough for the cops to act on, so I gave them a call. As soon as I had the phone to my ear, the neighbors made themselves scarce.

See? No balls.

I told the police what was up and showed them the video, then they went over to have a chat with the neighbors. After some time, they came back and told me how it went.

The cop said that the neighbors were really belligerent when he was over there. Belligerent being his word. Apparently it wasn’t a pleasant exchange. The cop looked a bit tired now then he did when he arrived.

Amusingly, he said the neighbors were shocked and surprised they could actually be arrested for this sort of behavior. Maybe Toony didn’t expect his third person loophole to fail.  

How did this not occur to them?

The neighbors tried turning it into a complaint about my dogs.

Yes, because obviously that’s what this is about. My dogs, which they mentioned exactly ZERO times in their speeches about how terrible I am.

The cops weren’t buying it. They knew by now it was bogus. Why? Because they read the previous reports and were already aware of the situation.

See? This is why we document. Get that paper trail going early. Even if the police can’t do anything at the time, you now have an ongoing record.

The cop even called them out on the fact that they only complain about the dogs when my boyfriend wasn’t around. He said they stumbled a bit before unconvincingly trying to claim the dogs somehow acted different when my boyfriend was home.

Oh, my dogs weren’t the ones whose behavior changed.

The cops gave the Feckwads a stern warning STFU, and that was it

– for now.

So that was that for the night.

You’d think having police show up at your door to tell you to quit your shit would get you to, you know, quit your shit. That’s what the police and I were hoping for, that this would be enough to be the end of it.

But if these were reasonable people, well, none of this would have ever happened I the first place.

Instead, this kind of episode became the new normal.

I’d call the cops, the cops would tell them off, and they’d shut up for a short while, but they’d always pick up again. The only real change is they’d be slightly more careful about staying off camera.

They’d save their worst harassment for night time, when I’d get home from work, when it was too dark to see their faces on camera.

A bit bolder in the dark.

When it was warm enough, they’d sit in the garage to wait for me, and come out when they saw me pull into my driveway. If I saw their garage door open, I knew there was about to be trouble.

As it got colder, they started waiting for me by their kitchen window, the only window of their house with a clear view of my driveway. If I saw that was the only light on in their house, I knew it was because they were waiting for me and would rush out.

It made me dread just coming home at the end of the day.

And it was only getting worse.

[sindearlyconnormurphy]

My Favorite Person [Connor Murphy x Reader]

Title: My Favorite Person Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen Requested: by the lovely @rinzix Summary: College!Friends with benefits | You’re thankful to have a friend like Connor, for more reasons than one, but you’re fun may soon be coming to an end, and Connor isn’t feeling like himself Warnings: mentions of sex | Connor has a potty mouth | mentions of mental health relapses and recovery | brief allusions to domestic violence | first person reader A/N: This was such a wonderful, fun prompt and it reeaallly got away from me, so I apologize in advance. Essentially, the summary is I will probably never let Connor Murphy be happy. As always, it’s really rushed and I didn’t proof read. Enjoy?

It never starts the way I expect it to.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not complaining. It just doesn’t work out the way it does in the movies, ya know? I’ve never gotten a text at eleven pm asking me to sneak across the campus to his conviently empty dorm room, never received anything remotely similar to a booty call. It started on accident, like everything else Connor Murphy does. He doesn’t understand the sort of pull he has on people.

Connor Murphy was an absolute octopus, first off. I woke up early–much earlier than he ever would–underneath a pile of pale, lithe limbs that seemed to tangle around me in a number of places. I was sticky–definitely sweaty from sleeping too close to Connor, who apparently fell asleep on top of me like some kind of animal, but I also felt an uncomfortable squish between my thighs that reminded me of the drastic turn of events that happened last night.

To be perfectly clear, this wasn’t the first time we had done this. The first time had been planned–an accidental mishap that had spiraled out of control, beginning with texts (“Hey, would you mind to model for a piece I’m working on? I can’t find any decent reference poses online.”) and ended with some not so appropriate banter (“Are we sexting? Is this sexting? I mean I’m horny but like it’s gotta be smoother than this, right? Shit, do you have nudes??) that had snowballed into an agreement: we could fool around, platonically, because being in college and being ridiculously horny all the time and balancing a decent relationship was one thing too many.

Still, our first few times had been planned: I’d come over for pizza when Connor’s roommate was out, we’d play video games and watch a movie, and, at some point, Connor would lean over with little to no warning and kiss me much too roughly, taking me off guard–it usually either dissolved into a fit of giggles or ended up with me on my back staring up at the smooth column of his throat, watching his pale adams apple dip briefly as he groaned into my hair.

The sun was up, shining obnoxiously through Connor’s too thin quilted curtains, filtering across our tangled bodies. My shirt was still on, thankfully–I had no idea when his roommate would be back–but Connor was entirely nude (save for a pair of tie-dye tube socks, I can’t believe I slept with him while he was wearing that), sprawled on top of me, all pale skin and angles. From here, I could see the knobs of his spine pressing against the thin, pale skin of his back where my hand rested. One of his hands was fisted tightly in the fabric of my shirt, just over my stomach, and the other was dangling off the edge of the  bed, his thin wrist almost comically looking as if it would snap.

The smell of him was overwhelming, of course, it always was. I could still taste him if I ran my tongue across the backs of my teeth. I’d need a long shower to scrub away the smell if I wanted to think coherently today–Connor was definitely my favorite person, the only real  friend I’d made at school so far, but the very smell of him was going to make my brain short circuit.

We needed to have a discussion, needed to stop doing this every time we hang out. A limit. I sighed, remembering. We were going to have to have a talk anyway.

Reaching up gingerly, I ran my fingers against the knots on his back, tracing the triangles of his scapula and cupping the back of neck to run my fingers through the curls. His hair needed washed, badly, but I didn’t mind, just continued to soothe, feeling him sigh in his sleep against my neck. I grinned, feeling his nose press more firmly against the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

"Why are you awake?” He slurred, lips wet where they brushed my skin. His limbs went taunt, stretching before rolling over off of me, his arms slinging against his eyes.

“Ugh, can you cover up?” I groaned, sitting up and pulling a blanket to pool in my lap, trying to look anywhere but Connor. “It’s daylight now, it’s too vivid.”

He just chuckled, running his hands to scrub at his face in an attempt to wake up, pushing tangled curls out of his eyes, grinning at me. “Sorry, geez. Didn’t hear you complaining last night.” Nonetheless, he yanked the blanket over his lap, rolling over to look at me with a smirk.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked, tapping my forehead with his thumb, before leaning over to kiss me there. He didn’t move away, just hovered over me on an elbow, and surrounded by his scent left me vaguely dizzy. I’d miss it when I left here, I knew.

I scrunched my nose, letting him know that the affection was unnecessary, but he kept leaning over, pressing another kiss to my temple.

“I don’t remember,” I sighed honestly. “You kinda kept me up till two am.”

“What time is it now?”

“One.”

“Christ, sorry,” he laughed, sitting up immediately and pushing his hair back. “Guess I tired you out, huh?”

“Don’t get cocky. We were talking until twelve thirty, you only last half an hour, bucko,” I said, crawling quickly out of the bed and tugging on my panties.

“Ouch! Didn’t hear you complaining,” he chuckled, pulling his hair back into a ponytail holder. He was planning to let me shower first, then.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, and I could tell that was the end of the discussion. We had a habit of skirting the topic during the daylight hours–if we talked about it, then we thought about it, and if we thought about it, then–well, you get the picture. “I’m gonna shower.”

——

By the time I’m out, my hair combed in wet strands sticking to the back of my neck and dressed in a clear pair of panties and one of Connor’s bigger shirts, Connor is sprawled on the bed, fully dressed, staring at a worn copy of T.S. Eliot poems, the green cloth binding fraying between his lithe fingers. The steam from the shower followed me in the room, making it look like a hazy 1970s Polaroid, accompanied by the warm light trying desperately to filter into the room through Connor’s quilted curtains.

He’s brushed his hair, I noticed, and there’s a lingering scent of cologne in an attempt to mask the smell of him–of us, if I’m being entirely honest–without showering. I nearly snorted aloud when I saw what he was wearing.

“That’s my shirt, you know,” I choked out between laughter, unable to believe that Connor fucking Murphy is wearing my tie dye crop top with a pair of ratty grey sweatpants. It was big on him, with a little pink embroidered heart stitched messily over the chest. The sweatpants rode high on his square hips, so all I could see was the slope of his ribs into the flat plain of his stomach, his belly button barely peaking out over the elastic waistband of his boxers, which rode a little higher than the sweats.

He looked up from the book, grinning lethargically, letting me know he was still barely awake. I probably should’ve let him sleep longer, but I needed to leave soon, and I wanted to tell him goodbye.

“I know,” he sighed lazily. “You left it here last time. It’s really soft.”

I bit back my smile, crossing the room to sit beside him. “Fair enough,” I conceded, tucking back a piece of hair that was beginning to slip from his ponytail.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he pointed out, pouting his bottom lip.

“I forgot to bring a clean one,” I lied.

“You know you have extras here,” he said, suddenly frowning and returning to his book. I paused, unsure what had caused the sudden mood shift, and wanted to be careful moving forward in the conversation. “I mean, you can always borrow mine, I don’t care or anything–”

“You don’t want anyone to see me wearing it, I get it, I’ll switch back before I leave,” I said reassuringly, scooting away half an inch to give him space. It was easy to overload Connor–it wasn’t his fault, I really did understand. Sometimes social interaction was too much, especially when I’d spent almost twenty four hours with him, and we’d been so intimate.

“Fuck, I don’t care about that,” he hissed, flipping the pages of his book much too rapidly to be actually reading them. “Do you care about that?”

The second statement was shorter, softer, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear. It made me nervous–Connor had been doing better, a lot better. Throwing himself into school, into art, made him better. He wasn’t recovered–it was hard to tell if he ever would be, and I’d only ever seen a few of his episodes, but any form of relapse that I couldn’t help him control was unwanted.

“Of course I don’t care, Con,” I said softly, reaching up to soothe his hair softly, feeling him stiffen and relax beneath my fingertips. “Jeez, we’re in college. I couldn’t care less what people think.”

He nodded, eyes creased before closing, his lips pressed together in a frown. “Right, right, you’re right, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I muttered, feeling nervous. He certainly wasn’t in any mood to hear my news. Something was on his mind. “You good?”

“Huh? Yeah! Great, don’t sweat it!” He some how managed to morph his deer in the headlights expression into one of enthusiasm.  It was more than concerning, and I hadn’t noticed when he’d developed the ability to swallow back his feelings. I didn’t know why he felt like he needed to. “What’s the plan for today, kiddo? There’s a Clark Gable marathon on TCM tonight, I know you like that black and white crap.”

Shit. I swallowed thickly, realizing I needed to tell him, and now. I was hoping it would wait until at least after we had food in us, or at least until Connor was awake enough to reign in his emotions and think with a level head.

“When’s your roommate getting back?” I asked instead, scratching at the back of my neck and not meeting his gaze. I felt him squint angrily at me, aware of my avoidance. “Don’t want him to walk in on anything unseemly,” I laughed.

Connor was still watching me, I felt it, with a pinched, calculated expression. “We don’t have to fool around tonight,” he said softly. “We can just hang.”

His voice was that soft, melancholy tone again that made my heart constrict. He wasn’t feeling good, I realized. He clearly thought that I was upset with him–I wasn’t, but I realized with a jolt that my news certainly wasn’t going to help his sudden self conscious streak.

I shifted on the bed again, feeling his eyes on me as I delayed, and I could practically see his inner turmoil. I should stay here with him. He wasn’t doing well. But, I’d promised….

“Um,” I mumbled, pushing back my wet hair with my hand. “About that. I, uh, have plans for tonight.”

His eyebrows took a quick hike into his hairline, his slate eyes wide, before he horrified me by neutralizing his expression again before I could read him properly–he gave me a small smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Oh,” he said hoarsely. “That’s chill. You could’ve just told me that.”

I smiled gratefully back at him, reaching out to rest my hand on his knee. “You’re sure?” I asked softly, tracing a pattern out on the grey cotton knee of the sweatpants. He swatted my hand away, and I felt a sudden dip in my stomach. He was upset.

“Yes, geez,” he grumbled. “I am perfectly capable to spend a day without you, you know. I probably need to check in with my folks, anyway.”

“You’re sure?” I asked again, leaning back, a bit more skeptical. Connor saying he wanted to check in with his parents was the boldest lie I’d heard in a long time.

“Yes, Christ, shut it,” he hissed, flopping onto his back, the crop top riding comically up on his stomach, and, without thinking, I leaned forward quickly to press a wet kiss to the cluster of freckles on his ribcage, earning a loud swear from Connor, followed by a slew of giggles, his thin hands pushing at my hair to pull me away from his ticklish sides.

“Stop it! Stop! Christ–st–” he sat up abruptly and tangled his hands into my hair, yanking me down against him, his bare chest trapped between us, soft against my palms.

What had started as a gentle joke, just a silly peck, escalated as it tended to. It was slow–Connor’s laughter dying quickly in his chest, his breath hitching in the back of his throat instead. I opened my eyes to glance down at him, his eyes closed, his eyelashes flickering against his cheeks. I pulled back, just for a moment, amazed to find his lips parted, head tilted back, obvious that he expected me to move my lips to neck. I just chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the cleft of his chin.

“Not this morning, Con,” I whispered, kissing behind his ear.

“Just kissing,” he whispered, letting out a shuddering breath into my hair. Eyes still closed, his hands tightened in my shirt in an attempt to keep me against him.

“You know it won’t stop there,” I laughed. He pouted beneath me.

“But–I’m not wearing a bra. I’m all ready to fool around!” Connor snorted, hands digging harshly into my sides as he laughed.

I smothered my laugh against his jugular, fighting to control my breathing, before pushing myself up against Connor’s chest.

“Not now,” I sighed sadly, giving him a closed mouth kiss against his lips, watching his eyes fade as he chased me for another kiss.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Sorry, my fault.” Throwing a hand over his eyes, he groaned, tangling his fingers in his pretty, pulled back hair.

“Don’t be sorry,” I mumbled.

“Later,” he smiled against his fist, slate eyes staring up at the ceiling with amusement. “Later. Christ, no one told me my libido would get a second wind after fourteen.”

“You’ve always got your hand,” I reminded with a chuckle, rising from the bed to stretch. Distance, I needed distance to think. He wrinkled his nose in disdain.

“Yeah, no thanks, not the same.”

There was a beat of silence, where I caught Connor watching me from the bed, before turning away with a pinched expression. It triggered an oddly sick feeling in my stomach–I shouldn’t feel guilty. I shouldn’t. This was just fun, Connor was just my friend, nothing more.

“So, uh,” he coughed. “What was your plan for tonight?”

I stiffened, turning around to sit on the edge of the bed with my back to him, beginning to braid my hair. The bed dipped suddenly, and Connor’s leg was flush with mine, the other folded behind my back, and Connor’s fingers wove into my wet hair, beginning to plait it silently.

“I have a date.”

His hands stilled, just briefly, and I felt myself relax when his fingers began again. He hadn’t taken a single breath.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Who with?” Cold. Uninterested. I growled low in my throat.

“Not sure. Some guy my mom set me up with–they’re pissed I don’t have a boyfriend, you know,” I reminded, and Connor just grunted in affirmation.

“You have no idea who he is?” Connor groaned in disgust. 

I shrugged. “He goes to school here–I think his name is Jared? He’s a business major. My mom is very impressed.”

Now, Connor really paused, his fingers abandoning the braid to snap his hands down into his lap.

“You know him?” I asked.

“Jared Kleinman?” Connor hissed, not looking at me.

“I think?” I said skeptically, unsure what about this kid had Connor in such a state.

“He’s an ass,” Connor growled. “An absolute asshole, bully, short-stack, scum bag, and you can’t go out with him. You can’t go out with that jerk off, trust me, okay? As your friend, I forbid you.”

I’d been taking everything Connor said seriously up to that point–it took a lot to make Connor that verbose, let alone that enraged–he’d been working on getting better, he really had–but his final statement made my eyes snap open, throwing my body off the bed.

“You forbid me?” I hissed, spinning with a wicked laugh. “I’m not your girlfriend, Connor. You can’t stop me from doing shit, okay?”

His eyes widened–in shock or shame, I wasn’t sure–sliding back up onto the bed. “I didn’t mean, fuck, I’m just trying to look out for you, okay? He’s bad news. He was–fuck, he was such an ass in highschool, okay?”

“And people can’t change, right?” I laughed crudely, watching the muscle twitch in his jaw. I’d pressed a button. Good. His eyebrows furrowed down over his glare, and I saw his hands clench and unclench in his lap. He’d caught my eyes flickering to them, and immediately looked helpless, wiping them on his jeans.

“I’m not having a fit,” he promised. “I’m not gonna hit you, I fucking swear to–”

“I know,” I lied, softening my posture and  looking away from him. “I know, Con. You’re not gonna hurt me again.”

Truth be told, he might. Relapse was easy–I knew, I’d seen it in teaspoon sized doses, whether be him throwing me against the door with too much force or be it a fist coming to connect on the wall behind my head after I gave a particular nasty comment. Connor had never hit me, not hard, but he almost had, and he’d said a few nasty things, broken some things of mine.

We were friends because I trusted him, because I didn’t want to leave him just because this felt hard. But I wouldn’t let Connor talk to me like that again, I’d promised myself. It meant a time out–no sex, no talking, not until he could calmly apologize and talk through what he was feeling.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, scrubbing his hands over his eyes–he’d forgotten to paint his nails this week, I noticed, but his wrist had flowering patches of indigo and lavender peppered along his arm like blooming bruises–they were just left over from his last art class Friday. He really needed a shower, I realized.

“Don’t be sorry,” I said again, leaning against the bathroom’s doorjamb in lieu of joining him on the bed. If I sat on the bed, I’d want to touch him, and as much as he deserved reassurance, he didn’t need the positive reinforcement. He had to learn I was a finite fixture. “That Jared kid–he said something to you, right? In school. You didn’t like each other.”

Connor laughed mirthlessly, filling my stomach with lead. “Yeah, you could say that. He’s one of those weasely kids, ya know? With just shitty underhanded comments they get out of Mad magazine. Gets under your skin.”

It was too easy to picture, embarrassingly so, I thought, watching Connor now with his eyes downcast and his mouth pursed, I could still see him, just a year ago, and some punk kid whose comment landed on its mark. He probably sent Connor into fits.

I tried too hard not to picture Connor those nights, crying disgustingly in the shower, banging his head too hard against the tile, replaying over and over in his head what that little shit had said to him.

I didn’t want to go out with him. I hadn’t wanted to to begin with. But, I had to. I’d promised.

“I’m really sorry, Con,” I sighed softly, thunking my head against the doorjamb in punishment. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Don’t be,” he laughed bitterly again. “’S over now.” He held his arms open, silently asking me to come back down to him, just to make up. “Just because you’re sucking his cock now–”

He froze, eyes bugging out of his head, staring at something on the ceiling I couldn’t make out from here. My stomach churned uneasily, and the tips of my ears got uncomfortably warm. Connor sat up slowly, bracing himself on his arms, staring at the wall with a horrified expression. He was vaguely green around the collar of my shirt.

“You wanna stop. That’s why you told me. You wanna stop.”

I swallowed thickly. “Con–”

“Christ, kid! What happened to relationships and sex and school are too much? We said–”

“It’s out of my hands!” I gasped, Connor’s glare finally snapping to mine, melting me into the floor. “I don’t want to go out with him–you know my mom expects me to–”

“Fuck, I know, you’re parents want you to be a fucking baby factory with a rich husband, I know, okay?” He groaned, shoving his hands into his hair and dislodging the ponytail holder, his dark hair cascading around his shoulders, his whole expression pinched.

I flinched, shutting my eyes, wishing desperately to be somewhere else. He didn’t mean it, he was angry–it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“It’s just to appease my mom,” I sighed quietly, disgusted to realize how wet and broken my voice sounded. “Just to say I have a boyfriend, to keep her out of my hair. Otherwise she’d be down here every week, and I’d never be able to see you–”

“What if I pretended to be your boyfriend?” He said suddenly, making my gaze snap to his, despite my discomfort. He was staring seriously at me, and I felt sick to realize he was sincere.

“Trust me, Con, you don’t wanna do that.”

To subject him to that kind of scrutiny would be unfair. Connor was my favorite person in the world right now, and, despite coming from a good family, my mother would be less than thrilled to hear I was involved with an art major with a juvenile record.

He snorted. “I know I’m no Jared–”

“Don’t,” I glared. “Don’t. I’m sorry, but yeah, we can’t have sex for awhile, okay?”

“Fuck,” he hissed.

I felt sick–like crying. “I’m sorry if that ruins our friendship for you. I thought you might be able to tolerate spending time with me when I’m not getting you off.”

Connor’s horrified expression let me know he hadn’t actually thought of that, but it didn’t mean he hadn’t known.

“Hey,” he said softly, rolling off the bed to stand, his hands out stretched as if he was scared to spook me. “Hey, that’s not–hey, don’t cry.”

“Fuck off.”

“No,” he growled, coming forward to wrap his arms around me, still wearing that stupid crop top, pressing his face into my neck. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” he murmured, his lips brushing my jaw. “You come first, you always come first. I’d rather have you than sex, you know that, right?”

His fingers scraped under my shirt to press against my skin, pulling me tighter to him, his fingertips tripping with friction.

“I know,” I sighed, going limp against him and wrapping my arms around his neck–it felt nice just to be close. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Fair enough.”

He pulled back, reaching up to cup my face, his fingertips burning where they thumbed my cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. He stared down at me so intently, and I realized he was still scared.

“Before your lame ass date, you wanna get some take out?” He asked with a crooked grin, leaning in to kiss my forehead quickly.

“Fine, but you have to change,” I giggled, pulling away despite his protests to grab my purse from his desk.

“I refuse to change–this color looks too good on me.”

——

“I can’t believe you’re gonna wear one of my shirts on your date with that wank,” Connor groaned, watching me button up one of his shirts over my chest, shaking his head. “He’s gonna try to cop a feel–it’s like he’s grabbing my boob, kid. That’s the worst violation of all.”

I rolled my eyes, brushing my hair back from my forehead. “First off, they’re still my boobs, but I promise I’ll bring the shirt back in mint condition. I doubt I’ll be kissing him tonight.”

Connor grinned around a mouthful of rice–he was cute like that, I realized, cheeks full and eyes crinkled with a smile. His mood had flipped swiftly, thank goodness, despite the fact it had started to pour outside, the sky pitch black despite the fact it was still early in the afternoon.

“Maybe he’ll buy you something nice,” Connor grinned. “I’m sure he’s loaded. If he brings a friend, make sure you hit on him.”

I snorted, but pulled on my slightly dirty skinny jeans anyway. “If he brings his friend on a date, I’m walking out and taking you home for thanksgiving.”

Connor grinned again. “God, that’d be rich.”

Thunder pounded through the room, making Connor’s hair products shake on his desk, causing me to jump back onto the bed to be near Connor.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared,” he teased softly, glancing out the window to see the downpour. “Christ, maybe you should stay in tonight. Last thing you need is to be trapped in some shitty French restaurant with mademoiselle rat face.”

“You’re hilarious,” I said bitterly, watching the leaves paste themselves to the window pane. “But, maybe I should reschedule. That’s not a shitty thing to do, right? It looks awful out there.”

“Nah,” Connor said around another mouthful. “Plus, if you do, we can have one last hoorah–okay, you’re right, sorry.”

I just grinned, hitting him lightly upside the head. “You can finish up in the shower, pretty boy.”

He frowned. “Fine.”

I pursed my lips, glaring out into the storm again. “I should call Jared ask him to reschedule,” I sighed again, feeling only vaguely guilty. I mean, what were the odds Jared even wanted to go on this date? Our parents set us up, for goodness’ sake.

I wondered briefly if Connor had worn this shirt in highschool, if Jared would recognize it.

“I highly recommend standing him up,” Connor said chipperly. “Allow me to hand you your phone–”

Connor froze, still half stretched across the bed, staring at my phone on the nightstand.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” I asked, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh my God,” Connor said again, this time dissolving into a fit of giggles, yanking my phone off the charger and throwing it on the bed. “I can’t believe this!”

“Connor, if you don’t tell me–”

“He stood you up!”

“What?” I screeched, fumbling for my phone, surprised to see a few missed texts on my home screen.

From: Jared To: Me Srry 4 the short notice, do you think we coukd meet some other time? Don’t wanna get caught in the strom

“He can’t even spell,” I muttered in disgust, throwing my phone onto Connor’s bare stomach that shook with laughter.

“This is hilarious, oh my God. It’s so sad, you look so cute and everything! You were gonna put on mascara for that asshole!”

“I’m gonna dump this soy sauce on your shirt, Murphy.”

“Sorry, sorry, geez!”

He put down his plastic fork, reaching across the mattress to stroke his hand across my bare arm. For a minute, I thought he might ask me how I felt, but instead just asked, “Are you up for a round of Battlefront?”

I grinned, beginning to undo pearline buttons of Connor’s nice navy shirt. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

He grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners and his lips cracking with the force of his smile. “I look forward to it.”

[opepin]

nov: week two

13: 5/6 pto day~ it was pretty gloomy outside so i felt a bit gloomy on the inside. kevin went to work and i woke up before he left. i ate another cinnamon raisin english muffin for bfast and then i hopped on my computer to update my tumblr. until i get my new gratitude journal, i am going to continue writing about my day, but i might change it up so that it’s bullet points again. we’ll see. i was pretty productive today. i finally decided on a gratitude journal to try it out and ordered it on amazon. then i chilled and watched some youtube videos and caught up on anime while eating lunch. after lunch, i digested a bit and then hit the gym. i thought i was going to spend it all in the yoga studio but i ended up needing to go to the fitness center so after glute activation exercises, i went across and did sumo squats and deadlifts. my legs felt so weak today. it could have been my form as well because my mind was scattered from going back and forth to the fitness center and yoga studio @_@; i managed to get through all the weighted exercises and then went back to the studio to do a burn out and hip dip exercises. i might have scared off someone in the studio, but i was in the zone so... ahha...

i came back, cooled off and stretched, and then showered and made myself a smoothie. i started prepping dinner and then kevin told me he left the office late so i just made dinner tonight. i made our spicy kale coconut fried rice and it came out pretty good (: i’m so happy with the outcome haha. kevin was also real happy to come home to a hot meal. it was nice. before cooking, i spent some time looking for my chocolate molds. they disappeared somewhere. i don’t know where they are :( i looked in all the small places as well as the storage room and no dice. kevin even looked with me after we ate :( sigh. i’m sad but i hope it will turn up somewhere. we asked the front to check our old apartment to see if we forgot it. i mean, it is transparent right? kevin went for a run after helping me look and i just continued looking until it was time to sleep. i was really bummed so i slept early. lol. 

14: i got up at 7:45 am and then did my 30 minutes of stretching. it was nice and quiet in the morning and i felt like doing something but not cardio or anything of the sort. then i changed and made my smoothie for breakfast, said goodbye to kevin, and left for work. only john and haowei were in the office today. cole was waiting for a furniture delivery so he wasn’t in. mmm the moment i got on the train, i felt really sleepy. when i got into the office, i felt pretty kjsfnbkjsdf. i don’t know if it’s the heating, lack of people, etc. but i wanted to go home asap. there wasn’t much for me to do in the morning so i did some testing. then at around 11:50 pm, i ate my lunch and then packed up and headed to a chinatown market to get a carrot for our slaw tonight. i waited 10+ minutes to buy one carrot for 46 cents because the people in front of me chose to buy soy sauce that wasn’t entered into the system yet -____<” i mean it’s not their fault but the two other lines started moving faster after i was boxed into this line...

i got out and then rushed over to south station to get on my train. i waited 7 minutes for my train because it probably had left before i got to the station :( luckily, i got back at 1 pm and phil didn’t ping me about our meeting until i asked him if he was ready at 1:06 pm. we talked about next steps and upcoming sessions and then he went into a meeting and i continued to work while watching an episode of ‘jane the virgin.’ i got my blender bottle in the mail today! i washed the dishes as soon as i could so i could use it after my workout today. i also got kevin a ‘pre xmas’ gift! i saw that there was a christmas caroling and hot chocolate boat cruise so i got tickets for us because last year, he went on a team outing instead of the jazz cruise i booked for us (i took hillary instead because it made sense and we had funn!). so i thought it would be nice if he actually went this time~ hehe. kevin went climbing so after work, i cut up the carrot and cabbage and let it wilt with salt for about an hour while working out. i felt like doing a few cardio hip hop routines, standing abs, abs on a mat, and then ending everything with hip dip / bodyweight butt exercises. it was a good and fun workout. i finished seasoning the slaw after my workout and used my blender bottle to mix my protein with cashew milk. lol, the lid wasn’t locked in properly so i spilled a bit of my expensive af protein on the rice cooker and counter T___T on the bright side, everything was blended perfectly! tomorrow, i’ll try putting in some honey to see if it will mix well or not.

as i finished up with the slaw, kevin came back. we showered and then toasted burger buns, heated up the leftover pulled chicken, and ate small burgers for dinner. we were still hungry and i got an idea to make “curry buns.” i flattened out one burger bun, put leftover curry inside, sandwiched the curry inside and sealed the bread by pinching the outsides, and then pan fried it in butter. well, i did the stuffing and kevin did the pan frying. if we heated up the curry before pan frying it, i think it would have tasted better but it was fun cooking on the spot with kevin :3 <3 we split one and then i had a bite of kevin’s guava strudel while we watched the latest foodwishes video. we want to make his new soup video as well as his hasselback turkey breast video when we come back from thanksgiving. we cleaned up a little and then beat battleblock theater! omg the last few levels are so hard lmao. the ending was trololol but i think there will be a sequel. it was challenging and fun playing with kevin. :) we half-planned what to get our families for christmas (gift baskets for each of us visiting our families from harry and david). 

then he gamed and i got ready for bed. this night, i was on my phone later than usual because i was chatting with daniel about working out with him when i get back, michelle about daylight savings dahkness, and chewy about us missing each other and i want to see her and i want to visit her so badly but ticket prices are so expensive from coast to coast T__T and then i did the thing where i stayed up on my phone doing nothing productive. if i got a new phone, i think i would spend more time on it, which is bad. lol. my oneplus one is my longest tech relationship with a screen (lol): 3 years and still going strong (well, my phone’s body is chipping).

15: i’ve been working out when i actually feel like it so i didn’t work out this morning and slept in :) i’m getting back to 7 hours of sleep now (more than once or twice a week)! kevin headed out for work and then i made my breakfast smoothie and started work. i’ve been craving warmer foods because it is colder now but my protein won’t taste as good if i put it in oatmeal or something. hmm, maybe i could just blend milk and protein and then eat an english muffin with pb and bananas on it. it’s a bigger breakfast but if it’s hot, i don’t think i would mind at all :) work has been chill this week because it is nearing thanksgiving and things are winding down for now. this day is a bit of a blur for me. i’m not sure what i did. i stayed at my computer for the most part until kevin got back home. i did talk to phil for a bit and then signed off and hurried to get the chicken thighs into the slow cooker. i didn’t realize it would take 4 hours for the slow cooker recipe. so i chopped up onions and garlic, put in the sauces and spices, and turned on the slow cooker. kevin got back early-ish but it he was in a heated argument with jon about sentencing. -___- this debate went on even after i went to sleep...

i snacked on edamame while kevin angrily typed away at his keyboard and waited for him to go to the gym with me. i knew it would take him more time to stop so i just left and did arms and back. i lifted mostly with 8s and 10s and took it slower this session. my arms are pretty flimsy and i still think my form is a bit off. i’m gonna check with daniel when i come back to chicago. after my workout, kevin was still debating. so i forced him to stop and go run and then i showered and added cornstarch to the thighs before it was done cooking 30 minutes later. i was pretty hungry by the time we ate. while kevin showered and cooked celery, i watched the beginning of season 5 of ‘mind of chef’ featuring ludo. lol kevin could see how excited i was and i kept gushing. i have 2-3 favorite chefs: david chang, ludo lefebvre, and christina tosi. i go nuts when i watch documentaries about them. lol. i now want to go to LA just to try all of ludo’s restaurants. instead of opening a big fancy restaurant, he went for a bit grungier strip malls in LA, which is fascinating. lol ok i’ll stop fangirling. we managed to get in a few games of helldivers before i rq’d and went to sleep because kevin would not stop debating with jon. i slept pretty late at 1 am (my phone dammit). i wrote in my gratitude journal that i just got as well. i want to think more positively. i think after this week, i’m going to stop updating my tumblr for a bit and just write in my gratitude journal.

16: i got up to go to work but after eating breakfast and changing my outfit twice, i really didn’t feel like going. so i changed back into my sleep clothes and worked from home. when it rains and looks gloomy and i’m not sure if my team is in the office, it makes me want to stay home. kevin got out of bed a bit later than usual so he went to work straight away. then i did a bit of work and phil pinged me with a new thing to do so i hopped on that. i worked on that until lunch time. then i ate lunch while watching youtube videos and downloading videos and movies to watch on my flight tuesday morning to chicagooo. after lunch, i anxiously waited for the eggie season ii drop. when it happened, i got a password screen and then all the items slowly came loading in. tbh, i wasn’t impressed :( mindy and i looked at the same time and she said she kind wanted the blur tee and i kind of wanted the oo dang long sleeve but $7 shipping is not worth for two shirts that are a bit pricey. we decided to wait for the next drop and bundle the shirts later. yeah, i had really high expectations. the season is inspired by the 2000s fashion, which i’m not a huge fan of, so maybe that’s why?

after that anti-climatic moment, daniel talked me into trying to bypass the $20 guest pass fee for his gym by live chatting someone for a free pass on his gym’s website. what he didn’t tell me is that they would call me and ask more and try to sell me their membership... man, i can’t lie. i feel so bad about it. :( i’m not gonna pick up sigh. i feel guilty for lying. anyway, i hopped on stand up and finished with the assignment phil gave me. the stand up took longer than i expected but after, i took a break to do some internet errands and stretches while watching more mind of the chef ft. ludo <3 after work, i made rice and chicken thighs for dinner. kevin came home and he made some chinese broccoli. hm i think today, i was feeling pretty moody. i watched some anime probably and some youtube videos while walking around the apartment. kevin went ahead and gamed with the guys. i think it was a pretty typical evening for us. we watched more ludo <3 while eating dinner and i continued watching after. hehe. i love this season.

17: today, i had a stressful day because of work. i didn’t work out in the morning but i ate my breakfast and then asked phil some questions and at the end of the conversation, i felt overwhelmed with the amount of videos i had to remake because of our monthly releases... so right after our talk, i hit the yoga studio. i started out with kickboxing with weights and then into hiit and a bit of legs. i ended up working out for over an hour. then i went back, drank a protein smoothie, showered, and ate lunch. i tried starting on my massive pile of work by figuring out how to streamline this process so that this won’t happen again. i like doing video tutorials but not when i am told i have to redo all the ones i’ve done because of small navigational changes... so i googled, researched, thought, brainstormed, etc about ways i can make this process easier for me and maybe for someone else in the future. i did this for a while alone until i decided to ask winston, kevin, and vivian for their ideas. winston actually video chatted with me for a while and it was nice catching up with him even though no solid solution came up. vivian gave me her best answer, which was plausible but not in the long run. kevin came back home and gave me two interesting ideas, but in the end, i had it in my mind that i had to remake all of them. oh well. it was the end of a week, so i set my mind to rest.

kevin brought me back sliders from his friday happy hour and we ate that while playing pokemon ultra sun and moon! i could have not worked a bit more and started playing but i wanted to start with kevin. we played a bit and then kevin went out for a run and then for dinner, reheated some broth to make korean rice cake soup. we watched ‘mind of a chef’ until i realized, that ludo’s season was only half of the season’s episodes... i forgot that this is how it was laid out after david chang in season 1. so we started watching the ‘best of’ episodes while eating. we ate the rest of our pomelo for dessert. we gamed for the rest of the night happily. we obviously, stayed up and gamed lol.

18: oh yes, we woke up late and we played pokemon in bed until we got hungry. then we decided to be responsible and went to do a quick grocery run. we just got edamame and bananas from bj’s because that’s what i eat on a daily basis lol. we got some ingredients to make caldo verde with the leftover kale in our fridge as well. kevin got me a slice of chocolate cake and some dark chocolate because i’ve been craving it like crazy. i know it’s going to be my time of month when i have a craving for rich dense chocolate cake lol. we also picked up chocolate covered wavy lays chips -- it’s a no. i ate it all but i would not buy again. lol. i would suggest getting ferrero roche instead. well, we got back and kevin felt like going climbing. i think we put everything away and then played more pokemon for a bit and then kevin went out. i tidied up a bit and got myself in the mood for working out. i wasn’t sure what i was going to do but i went to the yoga studio anyway. there was a girl facetiming someone in there... i felt awkward but i just did my thang in the corner while she did that. i don’t think she meant to go into the yoga studio for just that purpose because i heard her saying that he was interrupting her workout session. she left like 10 minutes after i started working out lmao.

i did full body strength today because i won’t have access to weights for most of next week. it was a good workout! i got back, made myself a smoothie, cut the potatoes and onion, and then washed some dishes. kevin got back, we showered, and he got to cooking caldo verde. i was pretty munchy at this point so i kept picking off the sausages lol. the soup turned out delicious! i think we ended up playing pokemon for the rest of the night. well, at least i did. i think kevin stopped and played hots before going to sleep. zzz.

19: today will be the last post before my gratitude journal break. we were bums again :P we played pokemon in the morning and then i was getting cramps and feeling out of it. i think we kept gaming for a while... ryan asked us if we wanted to game with him and terence and we ended up playing gauntlet together. after that, i started cleaning to be productive. at some point, i think kevin went for a run and then i worked out as well. we showered and then kevin made us fried rice with leftovers for dinner. after dinner, we digested a bit and then... hmm, maybe we ate then digested and then worked out, showered, and then cleaned the kitchen. lol. i am updating this on the 21st (when i stayed up to catch my flight to chicago) so i’m a bit out of it and 3 days ago is a lot @_@; anyway, it ended up being a really productive night. we cleaned everything and i got to rest a bit with my cramping and stuff. i tried going to sleep a bit earlier than we’ve been going to sleep because i needed to check in for southwest and get up to see the gymshark sales as well as take a call from kristen. yup. it didn’t feel like tomorrow was going to be a start to a new week aka work. i loved the way we spent this weekend just chilling and enjoying each other’s company. :)

20/21: okay, so that’ll be it for a bit. yesterday and today has been crazy. we spent monday working. i actually came up with a great game plan for the videos currently and worked a bit longer than i expected to -- i was on a grind though! we gamed together after eating dinner and when we left, we thought we had everything down, but when i got to chicago, i realized we didn’t take out the garbage... so i hope i don’t see a million fruit flies when i come back T__T i’m a bit worried but we’ll see! anyway, i stayed up yesterday because kevin’s flight to china left at 1 am and i wanted to go to the airport with him even though my flight left at 5 am. so after he went through security, i headed back to my terminal, brushed my teeth, and found a place to charge my phone. i started watching ‘psycho pass’ and i did stay up for the entire aiport process. i ko’d when i got on the plane. now it’s 10 pm and i am getting a bit sleepy. not sure if i want to do 10-15 minutes of abs anymore and/or play pokemon. i’m kind of ready to sleep. well, talk to you later, tumblr! thanks for being there for me and helping me document my life from sophomore year of high school until a year / two years after college graduation. it’s been real. i’ll be back in some way! <3