#i felt so emo making this Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ghostinghome]

what a silly guy, i think

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

Sanders Sides The Librarians AU

The Library is a magical building that houses mythical artifacts and books. One would say they have everything, but some artifacts were lost after their creation or simply thought lost and impossible to find, and that’s without adding the fact that new magical artifacts can and sometimes are created every day.

Probably should say that “magic building” means that it exists as an infinite plane between our reality and the void and that it has a sort of “conscience”, since it’s the building itself that chooses the people that will become Librarians and Guardians.

Those who work at the Library (Librarians, Guardians, Caretakers and Custodians) become infused by the magic of the Library, and they take that into the world with them. If the connection is severed, humanity will be cut adrift from learning, curiosity, investigation, knowledge and wisdom.

Likewise, it is dependent upon the ones that work at the Library having belief in it, in order to maintain a physical presence. If that belief destroyed or otherwise broken, the Library ceases to exist.

Librarians have the job of search for and retrieve the artifacts, the job of protecting the world of the next magical apocalypse, protecting it from evil and greed taking over. They protect the library and the magic and knowledge linked to it.

Guardians protect the librarians, but not only as a sort of bodyguard, because the most important job of the guardian is protecting the librarians’ soul. They keep them sane and make sure they don’t become consumed by evil and greed.

Caretakers and custodians they are quite hard to explain, so I think I will leave it as they are immortal humans (???) that live/stay at the library. They know where the things are inside the library (Well, where most of the things are) and they do the common librarian job (Keep inventory of the things they have, accountability, etc.)

Librarians: Roman, Patton, Logan and Damián (Deceit)

Guardian: Virgil

Caretakers/Custodians: Emile, Thomas and Remy 

(The rest under the cut because this got long)

(They are in the order they started working for The Library)

Emile, Thomas and Remy

Emile and Thomas are the original librarian and original guardian.

They are as old as the library itself, but since they are connected to its magic they became immortal.

This two are probably the only “competent adults” around, if we are being honest. As I said, they keep things working.

Remy is Morpheous, the Greek god of sleep and dreams.

Remy spends most of his time outside the library but pops in from time to time to annoy the hell out of Thomas, shamelessly flirt with Emile and check in the library and how everyone is doing.

He likes to think of himself of the “guardian deity” of the library but in reality he is more of a cute and friendly stray dog that the librarians found and they couldn’t kick out because they felt bad.

He makes a killer coffee though.

It took Remy 300 years of flirting and spending time together, but he became Emile´s boyfriend

He is not sure how he did it and is very surprised he hasn't fucked up the relationship yet, but there isn't much Remy can do to “Fuck it up”. Emile has lived a long time, he is patient and kind and hopelessly in love with the godly idiot.

Roman Palacios

He worked alone for about five years.

He had a guardian but he died while protecting him. This destroyed Roman, because the guardian wasn't just his guardian, it was his boyfriend too.

After quite some years of librarianing alone he became a brave, reckless and badass explorer!

He is the one with the most experience but that doesn’t mean he’s never more than two steps away from panic at any moment and is pretty much in a state of perpetual mild-to-severe terror.

He loves the job but he is perfectly aware of how dangerous it is, and after the others join the library he becomes a bigger mom-friend than Virgil, which is pretty damn difficult, as Virgil´s entire purpose is to keep all of them from getting themselves killed. (Virgil is grateful for the help and finds it charming that this cute dramatic nerd cares so much about his friends)

Roman in his time in the library, managed to befriend Excalibur, after learning that Cal is surprisingly smart and snarky for a magic object that cannot speak (Yes, as in “Arthur´s sword” Excalibur. The thing is very much magical and very much sentient)

Excalibur teached Roman how to sword fight.

Speaking of Excalibur, it took Roman two years to befriend the sword while it took Virgil less than a day. Roman is both offended and impressed

His first impression of Virgil was something like this:

“Why the fuck is this tiny edgy looking emo a guardian. He won't last a day”

Two days later it became:

“Strong,,,charming,,,,edgy bastard,,,Im,,,,WAY more gay than I suspected,,,”

Virgil Storm

Exercising helps him calm his anxiety, so since he was little he did a lot of things: Boxing, ballet and judo, to name a few.

So now that he is older he is a Strong Boy that has the physical ability and muscles to knock you out without breaking a sweat while still having a heart of gold under all his sass.

And that's the reason the library chose him to protect their new bunch of idiots- I mean, librarians.

The first time he met Roman, the librarian joked “And remember, you aren't allowed to fall in love with me”

“That won't be a problem” Virgil said grinning

Ah, but two days later:

“therE IS A PROBLEM”

His relationship with Roman is “Oh, he is insufferable. I love him”

The ultimate mom-friend

He is the only one here that has just a bit of common sense and he swears one of these days the librarians will give him a heart attack

Since he started working in the library he befriended a few gargoyles and the chupacabra

Patton Medina, Damián “Dee” Jones (Deceit) and Logan Stone

Patton is an art and architecture expert, author of scholarly works on history, art and architecture in his spare time. He can speak fluently speak 10 languages, 3 of which are dead ones and he is decent at at least other 5

Damián is a tech expert and world-class professional thief. There isn't a lock or puzzle he can't get past.

Logan is a maths and science expert, with a love for chemistry and physics. He is an actual genius and can mentally solve any equation you put in front of him

The three of them working together make One Good Librarian, the library knew this and that's why they all got called and hired the same day

Dee, despite being the best thief to have ever graced the earth, has a good heart.

He is just very bad at this “friends” thing. He grew up alone in not the best of places.

“But he is a thief!!”

Yes, but I never said he kept the things he stole.

He sold everything he stole and gave the money away, keeping the bare minimum to buy food and pay rent in the tiniest apartment in existence.

When he stole a very rare diamond, hospitals were built. When he stole an old painting from a museum, people went to college. (You get the idea, a modern day Robin Hood)

Damián is the only Librarian in history to have befriended nessie.

Patton´s bubbly and cheery personality made his family and old “friends” think he was just a stupid airhead, despite everything he has ever accomplished.

The first time someone (Roman) called Patton a genius he literally started crying tears of joy.

All the things he published were under fake names and identities because he was scared. He thought that if not even his family would take him seriously, then no one else would.

Logan went from “I know Im smarter than everyone else” to “I am the best in what I do but that doesn't mean there isn't people smarter than me” pretty damn quickly after he started working in The Library

So basically Roman, Logan, Deceit and Patton go in magical adventures while Virgil screams in distress in the background trying to keep everyone alive and Remy and Emile stay in the library being Cute and Dorky gays. Thomas looks like a tired dad too old for this nonsense. 

[vivaciousyellow]

y: neverwhere by neil gaiman

...or actually, rather, nevermore of the-raven-by-edgar-allen-poe kind because guess what ya bitch is feeling downright feistily angsty what’s new? this isn’t. 

dear victoria,

i binge ate today.

it felt worse than usual because i’ve been trying really hard lately to watch what i choose to put into my body and at what quantities. and not to mention i’m already rather devastated about my thinning hair. am i being vain? i need nutrients nutrients nutrients nutrients nutrients

someone just chop all my hair off 

maybe i’ll be so compelled to get more angular cheeks and chin due to the unflattering amount of exposure i’ll stop eating for a bit

late last fall, i began wondering what it would feel like to just make the cut. a cut. the excuse i recited to myself in objection was that the only access to sharp things i had were the dirty ass communal kitchen knives. and i was too anxious to go to the 100 yen shop and have to ask to buy my own. and i was too scared to do anything with my hair clippers (also from the 100 yen shop, aka the best place on earth, aka heaven, aka i should be investing in items that are of the most excellent Made In Japan quality because sustainability but you know what the things in there are so high qua you wouldn’t believe your eyes ten million firelies it’s less than one wholeass USD). 

i confessed to david in the winter that i didn’t know how to feel happy anymore

but at least now i understand why people might want to feel pain

i shouldn’t have started the day eating two packs of ramen. now im about to end the day with two. but fuck, the bag of cheerios i downed in the interim with my litre carton of milk is wreaking mild havoc. last time i drank four cups of milk i was in fifth grade, reading a book by the huge bay window of our first home, my parents’ personal prototype of the American Dream. and honestly, i didn’t even mind getting diarrhea for it. it was in the late afternoon, just a smidge past golden hour. mom and dad had gone out, it was just my sister doing unrelatable teen things in her room. there might have been a CD player involved? was i sitting on the pastel purple stool or was i reclined into the lazy boy chair? was i happy or just content?

anyway, it was the perfect time to overdose on lactose and whatever, the milk was delicious. #yolo beaches

even tho it was skim. lmao i just needed to drink water but opted for tasteless murky bullshit instead. and now i can’t tell if i want to shit my pants because of lactose intolerance or because of my seminar class on wednesday. 

so, this is the one year anniversary of my first depressive episode since the social worker in high school called me troubled. i’m so scared this monstrous sense of hopelessness and dread is reviving itself upon the fertile ground of unresolved issues i’ve seemingly kept ready for it, so tip top swanky spanky new.

why can’t i do better? why am i throwing this tumblr irredeemably back into the dark times of angsty xanga-livejournaling (victoria, hee~elll~lllllpppp)? am i even allowed to snarkily refer back to those ‘dark times’ when i’m only vicariously living through my own blurred memories of my sister typing secretively away on her old ass chonky laptop as she sat wrapped in darkness and metal chains, dressed like a chinese-knock-off emo grunge kid?

i can say that because she literally got most of those clothes and necklaces from china i swear

excuse my pathetically unrecognisable attempt at edgy humour, all i can think about is how that one fleeting whimsical thought i had earlier about self-induced vomiting is becoming increasingly substantial. 

i feel like the protagonist in neverwhere by neil gaiman. but like only in the sense of a very loose interpretation on what similes are supposed to accomplish and based on a very loose interpretation of what the book was about.

1. like i’ve become unrecognisable and/or easily forgetable but to myself so like i see the world (read: my body) going on and operating as usual, but like i know i’m missing something (read: me? my place in the world? what?)

2. or like suddenly, i’m being forced to navigate a slightly and increasingly very off version of the world that i’d never been exposed to before where that world is my reality of mood fluctuations that are very confusing but, ultimately, of mild uncertainty. are fluctuations, quantum measured in uncertainty? 

3. oh physics? wherefore art thou? 

4. have these vague, inaccurate references to the plot piqued your interest? please say yes because it’s a great book. even though i told myself i was gonna focus on WOC writers. so much for that. 

5. dammit, ying, smh.

i wonder what my various overblown quotidian fears look like. you know, people have been doing inktober themes, very inVentively visualising various mental illnesses. (give me at least one instance of alliteration per post or give me death)

but im too scared to face mine. 

i’ll just keep eating instead.

happy spoopy season.

-ying

..of course with love but am i even capable of love cries in rolling my eyes at myself can’t even see those damn irises anymore

or should i say

nevermore