#i feel like they don't really fit the universe
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I think maybe part of the danger in holding up finding out you're autistic as this universally amazing revelation that finally makes you feel like you belong is...when you find people you share that label with, and you don't feel like you fit in with them. And that can make you think, depending on the specific differences between you, that you're not really autistic, that they're not really autistic, that you or they are "too normal" or "too weird" or "too functional" or "too disabled" to fit, or that there's something extra that's just a character flaw, and it's just, putting that possible connection between us on a pedestal just breeds resentment and suspicion when faced with the reality of how different we can be.
#brought to you by me observing other autistics being better at making friends#and feeling some kind of way about that#actuallyautistic#lateral ableism
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Fics I don't know if I'll ever write but I'd love to Part 3.
Tim doesn't really exist, something created him post-Death in the Family in order to keep Batman engaged in The Mission
Playing with the dominant fanon idea that Tim doesn't quite "fit" somehow, this concept sees some higher power (let's call it The Universe) conjuring this black-haired, blue-eyed boy up from thin air as a means to keep Bruce in the Bat-saddle. Perhaps he's created from Bruce's very own mind.
A few little canon moments I'd spin into breadcrumbs:
Tim insisting that Batman needs a Robin,
Tim (a literal child) figuring out what virtually nobody else can regarding Bruce and Dick's nighttime work,
Bruce several times complimenting Tim on attributes that he admires in himself and that, tellingly, he feels he lacks,
The environment shifting again and again for Tim to make sense; changing schools, the death of his (equally conjured) parents,
Tim surviving the unsurvivable like falling off a dinosaur from a very great height (ahem, getting pushed)
Tim, who has his own free will with crucial limitation, threatening to walk away several times but never being able to.
Potentially also the age mumbo jumbo. Could be fun...
Any others, gang?
This would run parallel to a B-plot of Jason still being mostly estranged from the rest of the family.
Eventually, we work towards Jason being drawn closer to the family at which point the case for Tim's existence is...
:')
Let's all take a moment to reflect on how Dick would react to such a revelation.
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I finally started visualizing my senkitai ocs, the concepts of which have been living in my head for months. The first ones are these siblings, they didn't end up exactly the way I imagined them in the beginning, but I'm happy with how they turned out.
This post will be mostly about Hakuya, I'll try to make a separate post about Kinsaku later.
In short, Hakuya is a narcissistic idiot.
They consider those who agree with them clever people and do not digest criticism, especially when it comes to their intelligence. They are easy to get mad or upset.
They respect Kagemaru because they think their opinions agree in many ways, which isn't necessarily true. They are pretty good at strategy and are responsible, a perfectionist.
As Hakuya dislikes rats and dirt, he feels little sympathy for Nezumi-kun (that's what they call Oboro), who may return in an unsightly appearance after some tree hopping.
#i feel like they don't really fit the universe#but what can i do if i only capable of creating long-haired fancy queers#hakuya oc#kinsaku oc#ayakoi oc#ayakashi koi meguri#ayakashi romance reborn#ayakoi#ayakashi rr#arr#kagemarunya
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
Her face before she flies off---
She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-#emmodii plays bg3
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Overwhelmed by nostalgia actually
#this will sound SO elitist of me#but#i miss my summer course at the boarding school that was closed after the summer and they carved out an artificial lake on the manor grounds#and converted the cozy two-person dorm rooms to have bunk beds to fit six to eight kids#apparently they also 'refurbished' a historic building on the site :(#i mean i'm glad someone is taking care of the site - it's so beautiful#but i miss the way it was soooo much and there's no way to go to that place again except in memories#and then !! sequel - cambridge 2019#granted it would probably be much the same as a town if i went in summer again but it really was when i learned how much i love university#but yeah deeply sad and insane about [redacted] manor i miss it sooooo much#one of my teachers actually really liked me and wanted to seriously talk about me studying there full time oabdlskdödldöfo#obviously it was never going to happen because who pays english boarding fees when you can study 100% for free at home#but what if in an alternate universe i did study there#idk i don't feel that sad about THAT missed chance#mostly because i'm legit replicating it w my master's#but i do wonder if i'm going to spend the rest of my life chasing similar places and the way i felt that summer when i was 15 🥹#if you send me a dm and we're friends etc i will show you pictures of the manor because it looks amazing
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Also. The weird girl in school feeling of both intense jealousy and violent repulsion towards "normal" girls.
#this post brought to you by: the normaler girls i follow on insta and the stories they post#like these three girls. two of them from the same university as me. the other one also french. all in the same city as me#all exchange students at the same uni in england!#but they're going on day trips to london and living their best year abroad#and i'm - what. staying at home and making soup? sleeping and failing to buy postcards?#the warring impulses of jealousy and repulsion.#because. i want to be normal too. i want my life to be simple and nice and easy.#i want to be a pretty girl who's doing it right. i want to have my life together (somewhat) (for my age and status)#i want girlfriends in the straight way who i can have daytrips with.#i long for the simplicity of asking out cute boys and aesthetic study sessions that actually pay off#i am so blindingly jealous of them. they're so much more normal than me. they're doing Girlhood and Womanhood correctly.#but at the same time i would rather die than change so much i'd be that girl#because i am simply not that person. this is not who i am at my core#i do not want to buy startbucks. i don't want relationship drama. i don't want to put all my personal data on instagram#i do not actually want to force myself to fit into the restrictive mold of what normal and socially acceptable girlhood and womanhood are#so i feel both 1) left behind and inadequate like i'm back in middle school#2) but also at peace with the fact that you can't get along with everyone and i'm old enough to find my people now#i mean my housemates are really cool and i have other friends that are also the kind of nerdy weirdo people i hang out with#AND 3) inadequate for general 'i'm a fucking child' reasons#they're independent. they're spontaneous. they're just doing things. they're on the way to adulthood. they're in their early 20s.#what am i then but a child. i don't go out much i don't drink i have this huge aura of no romance#i need structure and plans and i have a lot of inertia#and i thought the adult thing was going well! i'm feeding myself all on my own! i'm planning my days!#i'm doing laundry and cleaning up messes! look at the adult!#she's not done baking but i was expecting much much worse honestly. i was braced for a total crumble#but no we're good. i felt proud of myself#and here i see people having the normal typical year abroad experience. and i'm not#i'm being childish and i'm wasting money doing the exact same thing i'd be doing at home but in england#anyway. 2:30. sleep time. good night#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Now now, not too much of a voice of reason (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Tala#Bar#The familiar trio lol#I was in a weird mood for the first one haha - I was thinking about the dying a glue trap meme and the Family Guy death pose at once#I didn't end up doing anything about it but what is with these morbid blorbo memes lol#Blorbid memes#Bar's always my go-to for that which is weird 'cause he's not a whump character?? I don't actually want to kill my whump characters tho so ♪#He's just a memey lad#Anyway that was a while ago lol#Last three are much more recent!#Still been thinking about Tala in the BunBonBop universe since creating Dahlia she'd really fit right in!#She's also old enough which I forgot was a rule I made lol - Shifters start presenting their specificity at age 5 so she just made it lol#Threw myself into the mix for funsies as well lol - we'd be fairly low-power Shifters :)#Tala'd be a shape of course - she's always been a plush doggo!#I haven't given a lot of thought to inanimate object shapes yet but I'd like to! It feels like there's a lot to dig into#Things like would they be able to move around in their inanimate object shape - probably only after practicing!#And what kind of regulations and social rules would develop around a significant percentage of the population turning into inanimate objects#What would theft look like? Would theft/kidnapping rules be more conflated? Something closer to how we consider pets in certain states?#What might certain lawsuits look like lol ''My client had every reason to believe that object was in fact not a person!''#That'd be very scary for the Shifter as well if they felt they were in a position where it wasn't safe to shift back ah D:#Nevermind it's making me sad to think about lol#Also established a new rule for time Shifters - some can only age in certain directions lol#That Also gave me some ideas specifically in reference to IDs - would a time Shifter be able to fake their age to purchase alcohol?#Probably not there'd probably be some kind of signifier on the ID itself that says what kind of Shifter they are lol#Card everybody!#And then finally the last - in addition to getting a couple Tamagotchis I also impulsively bought the first book of KoiBo and hhh <3 <3#I love Souichi so much he is So fucked up <3 <3 <3 <3#Getting to read it in person in my own hands has really reignited my brain to think about him So Much he's such a delightful character
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Wednesday: It takes a special kind of stupid to dedicate a theme park to zealots responsible for mass genocide
A whole ass black kid: My DAD owns Pilgrim World!
Me, now knowing Burton wrote this: -stares in tired black alt girl-
#Real Life with Risa#mr Black People Don't Fit My Aesthetic put TWO black characters in this show and their both bitches#(and dark skinned and aggressive I'm noting that don't worry)#I was willing to wait and see if the siren girl would get like a rivals to friends thing#but then this happens and it's like MY GUY#YOU MADE THE BLACK FAMILY OWN THE PILGRIM PROPAGANDA AND MADE THE WHITE GIRL THE WOKE ONE#ABOUT MASS GENOCIDE IN AMERICA#SURE SIR#WHATEVER YOU SAY#I hope he's at least adopted#not that it makes it better for multiple reasons but at least then I could be like 'oh that's why you're like that'#this man ain't never beatin the racist allegations lmfao#also two months ago we got Wendell and Wild and now poor Wednesday Addams is being used as a mouthpiece for microaggressions#one step forward and all that#ANYWAY I'M TAGGING THIS AS BURTONS ADDAMS FANFIC FROM NOW ON#it's really not bad but it definitely feel like a canon Addams universe outside of aesthetic#*doesn't
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( 8 0 <- Tried to replicate the face.
#Art#myart#doodle#clip studio paint#oc tag#Unidentified Flying Strawberry#Strawberry#Extant Universe#March 2023#I feel like most users would not know the origin of that Strawberry tag#Basically there was a point where Strawberry was just a placeholder name but It stuck around for long enough that someone -#told me to just name him that. Tbh I'm still not really into but I think that makes it more fitting#Sometimes people are born with names they don't like#that's canon now btw#Strawberry in canon probably wishes he was named a cool dragon name
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shoutout to all psychonauts ocs i love you all
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#psychonauts oc#i will see several ocs that are like 'yeah this character is psychic and something happened in their life that screwed them up'#and every time i'll be like 'omg no way'#and another really awesome thing about ocs#is that a lot of the time they feel like they fit perfectly in universe#like i've never seen one that doesn't already look like a character you'd see in the game#keep up the good work guys#love all of you (and your ocs!) ^^#OH AND ANOTHER THING#they all have such interesting concepts#like all the ocs that i've seen are completely original#and that's so freaking awesome#and some of them are so unique!!#they don't even have to be people#i saw this concept for a 'phobia' type of enemy and i thought it was so awesome#you all amaze me more and more every passing day#i'm done rambling now. maybe#five hours later i'm back because i saw a really awesome original concept!!#jnixz's dream vaults :]#they're so cute and interesting
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December is Kai's birthday month! :'D
#as in. it's gonna be one year since i made him ;-;#no no you don't understand i'm genuinely emo over this. send help i was never supposed to get nearly this attached to him 😭 adfghgdsdf#anyways! since i don't really mind when his in-universe birthday is i've been thinking it of making it just the day of his creation#so.... dec 17. that's when i first got the idea.#or... dec 25. that's when he got his final name ;-;#oh man. i guess it could be dec 17 when he was actually born and dec 25 is the day his werak took him in? seems fitting 🤔#since his werak did name him and not azzie....#azzie would NOT be able to take care of a human baby for that long but hey asdfghjhgf#i'll think on it some more. just know i am very emo right now and i have no one to blame but myself afgfasdfg#it feels like he's existed forever and at the same time it was just yesterday 😭#ramble#oc tag#oc: artekai
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dropping by a bit just a bit before midnights and i head to sleep because HELLL am i so glad with my fire units actually. i need to do work on proper teams and grids and shit but ?? wilnas percival michael medusa athena anila nemone etc i am Winning here
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა gbf ໒꒱ *·˚#fire... i never really favorited it as an element in gbf to play w but now it is different LMFAO#wilnas + percival is sooo fun i love doing a bunch of super strong attacks and charge attacks esp w michael's double ca skill#but yeah even before i got lucky with those three units in particular i was pretty smart w using athena and nemone already#like. synergy. or maybe i'm stupid idk but !!!!! the way they build up levels of yk. one when they get hit. one when they dont. so it fits#okay that's all ..... sorry it's funny to me i was suuuper yeah with gbf farming before the break and then throughout it NAH FAM but after#again. hi! also i played a bit of ffxiv today GOD i miss playing that game actively sooo much ..... kinda feels unreal i havent been super#active. anyway. sleep. uhhh oh wow i don't really feel stressed even though i have a quiz tomorrow that. is likely easy but i didn't really#study HAHAHGBSJ I HAVE A LOT OF TIME THOUGH SINCE IT ISN'T TIME-LIMITED and until afternoon sooo yeah. yeah#GOOD NIGHT i ramble again. also percy jackson universe my fucking BELOVED wait
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Miss Universe National Costume 2024, Part 2!
Splitting this off into a new post so I'm not clogging up everyone's dash quite as much.
Miss Malta is some sort of environmental protection Sailor Scout. I think the giant bow would look better on the back of the skirt but otherwise this is solid.
It has just come to my attention that I skipped over Miss Albania and several other A/B countries, back at the beginning. I sincerely apologize! She went to all this trouble putting together a Fifth Element cruise ship passenger costume, and I nearly missed it.
Miss Armenia, in what even I have to admit would be a legit Princess Leia fit.
Miss Bahrain, adding some green to her Gold And Vaguely Historical look, along with what is either a comically large prop chalice or an upside-down lamp.
Miss Bangladesh appears to believe that adding two plush tigers from the toy store around the corner from the pageant venue will conceal the fact that she is just wearing a tiger-print evening dress. Miss Bangladesh is incorrect.
Miss Belgium. Girl. No.
Miss Belize let the seventh-grade art class do her whole costume, which was a bold choice.
Okay, I think that's everyone I missed! Back to alphabetical order. And I should have to rely less on shitty screenshots, now. Some countries were benefiting from the low resolution, tbh.
Kind of feel like Miss Maldives had a luggage mishap and she's just wearing the outfit she packed for a slightly dressy dinner.
Miss Martinique's costume would honestly have looked better in the shitty screencap version. The construction is... bad. It's bad.
Feel like we're in a little bit of slump here. Miss Mauritius did not stick enough butterfly appliqués to her gown to conceal that it is, in fact, just a regular evening gown.
Slump officially over! We are so back. Everyone say thank you, Miss Mexico.
I would like this better if it had just committed to the giant skirt and not felt the need to make it a Sexy Miniskirt look. Sorry, Miss Moldova.
Miss Mongolia wanted to stand out from all the other gold armor on stage, so she decided to a) wear cooler armor and b) bring a bow and arrow instead of a sword. Great work, Miss Mongolia.
Starting to feel like I'm picking on the smaller countries that probably don't have a huge pageant culture or the budget for really elaborate costumes, but on the other hand Miss Montenegro's costume is super low-effort AND the fabrics look cheap, so what am I supposed to do?
Okay, this looks like a pretty standard Miss Universe Sexy Bird, yes? Well, THIS is how Miss Myanmar entered the stage:
She had to fight her way out of that thing! God only knows what the visibility was like in there.
I think the hat is doing most of the heavy lifting to keep Miss Namibia's costume from being Just An Evening Dress, sadly.
Oh, yikes. It's more obvious in motion but Miss Nepal's bodice looks like it's made of craft foam and it fits real weird. The rest of it looks a little like she got together with Miss Cyprus and a pile of tablecloths for a sewing bee last night, I'm sorry to say.
Miss Netherlands has chosen a Tribute to Delft. I think if I were in charge of this costume I would do a much fuller skirt that falls from the waist, instead of the weird trumpet-skirt-with-hoop we've got here. And, obviously, I would make the windmill on the bodice actually spin.
It looks like she's having some issues keeping the wings and peplum in place, but I really like Miss New Zealand's costume from a design perspective. It at least slightly resembles the bird it's supposed to be (New Zealand fantail) and I think the feather pattern is meant to be in a Maori art style.
Miss Nicaragua is a Sexy Cathedral, which I think might be a Miss Universe first and is definitely a big old step closer to drag.
Okay, pausing here to get the next batch ready.
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Osha's backstory episode of The Acolyte fits perfectly with a headcanon I've had forever about Force-sensitive children in the galaxy--that some children feel called to the Jedi and some do not, and that the Jedi look out for this. We see that destiny exists in the Star Wars universe, the Force calls to people to walk certain paths, but that it's still up to them to decide, you still have to make your own choices. (See: Everything about Anakin Skywalker and how the Jedi never brought that up around him, it was always about personal choice and agency. Yes, he was the Chosen One, but he had to choose his path.) From the moment we first meet her, child Osha didn't want to be a witch, she wanted to see more of the galaxy beyond Brendok, she was immediately entranced by the Jedi when they showed up during the ceremony, like a magnet pulling her to them, that she was drawing the Jedi Order symbol long before they ever got there. It wasn't just a sudden way to get out of there, she was feeling this pull towards them long before she ever even met a Jedi. She's the one who first slips out to meet Sol during the ceremony despite being told to hide, she's the one who goes over to talk to Kelnacca before the test, she's the one who fights against her entire family to say she wants this. She's the one who wants this even before she knows there will be other children like her with the Jedi. We don't see the Jedi giving Mae that same nudge, because the Jedi path wasn't meant for her, she didn't want it, and I love that both here and in The Phantom Menace, the Jedi make sure that this is what the child wants, too, that both prequels and High Republic Jedi are shown to take such care, that it's done with the parents' permission, but also getting a sense of what the Force is or isn't calling this person to do and whether they accept it. But Sol gently pushes Osha, not to tell them what they want to hear, but to tell the truth, do you want this? Do you feel like this is right for you? Just as Qui-Gon made sure Anakin knew being a Jedi was a hard choice, the Jedi want you to be sure, want you to feel called to this, because the Force exists, a mysterious destiny exists in this galaxy. It's still your choice, you have to have agency over your choices, it's not just, "What does the Force want?" but instead Sol asking, "What do you want, Osha?" The narrative is careful to point out Sol telling her about his own testing, that he knew he was different from his family, that he was scared at first, but it was clearly his choice. "But you must have the courage to say what you want." The Force called her here, the Force is something that exists within Star Wars and has a will of its own, and some people are not called to this particular path, I don't think Mae was ever meant to be a Jedi, she never wanted it, she never felt that pull. But Osha, like so many other Force-sensitive children tapping into this giant mystical energy field that has a destiny for you if you want it, they are pulled to it and the Jedi take such care with that. Some are meant to walk the Jedi path and some are not, that's something only each individual can figure out for themselves, and the Jedi do their best to honor both the Force's calling and the person's own choices. And if a child resists and pulls away, they let them go, it wasn't right, it wasn't meant for them. But when a young Force-sensitive is practically vibrating in place with how badly they clearly feel this is meant for them, that's something that exists as a thing that really does happen with the Force.
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part one
cw: onlyfans!simon, canon universe, cybersex, solo sex/masturbation, being simon's good girl while he has some downtime, parasocial relationship???
author's note: and let me say this once to be clear, if you don't know how to ask for a part two properly without giving some sort of positive feedback and instead demand it from me you will get a verbal spanking from me and i will embarrass you, i do not care
Your breath catches as you gawk at your phone, rereading the message. The sensation of anxiety pricks at you causing you to perspire under your pits and the temple of your forehead.
The thought of him—TacticalHeat—or Ghost or whatever the hell his name is waiting on the other side, possibly stroking himself at the notion of you joining him on a private call sends a rush of arousal up your spine.
Ping!
TacticalHeat: You still there, lovie?
Oh, fuck. You card your fingers through your hair and let out a heavy exhale. It's awful timing really. Like getting caught with your pants down...literally.
Fingers sticky with lube and your own arousal, you stretch your limbs to open the drawer of your nightstand and pull out a wet wipe to clean off your hands and get a gander at the state of your appearance. It's slightly disheveled, but honestly? In a super sexy bedhead kind of way.
You wipe the corners of your eyes to remove the accumulated smudged mascara from your gruesome work day and let a sharp expire through your nose. Well, if you were going to do this, you'd at least look hot doing it.
You: Yeah, I'm here.
TacticalHeat: So what do you think, lovie...you up for it?
"Fuck!" You exclaim to yourself, not realizing that your dumbass forgot to reply to his original message. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment, tracing circles in the air as you try to unscramble your mind.
You: Now works...what do you have in mind?
The three dots appear almost instantly like he's waiting for your response with the same fiery intensity that has you gripping at your phone.
TacticalHeat: I'll send you a link. I wanna see you, too.
Ghost has invited you to a Zoom meeting.
Your heart pounds rapidly against your ribcage, and you feel the heat sidling to your cheeks. You hadn't expected this to escalate so quickly, to be pushed into the spotlight. And yet, the idea of him watching you is thrilling.
With trembling fingers, you adjust the lighting in your room and the camera on your phone to ensure you're getting the best quality. One last look in the mirror to smooth out your hair, and make sure your top reveals a little cleavage before you tap on the link, muddying your phone screen with oils on your finger.
Twiddling with the tripod that sits by the edge of your bed as the link loads, you clip on your phone and sit back while you wait to get accepted. He wastes no time getting you out of the waiting room and you watch as the screen shifts, and suddenly, there he is. Simon's half-lidded gaze fixates on you, his familiar skull-mask in place, but this time it's different. He's relaxed, clad in a black loose-fitted henley that outlines his taut physique, and he's manspreading in light-wash denim jeans, hands exposed and you're already aching at the sight. It's an intimate setting and the atmosphere shifts when he gets a real gander at you. His gravelly voice sends a frisson up your spine:
"There's my good girl," he purrs, and just like that you're hooked.
There's a moment where your heart drops to your ass, and you let out a little shaky breath before giving him a shy smile. His gaze doesn't waver. It's intense and focused as he drinks in every detail of your appearance. You're half wondering what he thinks of you and half focused on the hoarseness in his voice when he calls you 'good girl'. How the blood rushes to your face and your trepidation tingles on your skin.
"Hi," You finally muster up and you swear his dark eyes light up, or maybe it's the delusion that spikes into your prefrontal cortex. "I'm a bit, um, surprised that you wanted to chat like this."
His mask warps in the corner of where you assume his lips are indicating a smirk. "I like a bit of spontaneity," he says, leaning closer to the camera. "Besides I wanted to see how you would handle this."
You avert your gaze for a moment, feeling hot all over again. He notes how you suck in your bottom and how your dilated eyes flicker all over the screen, a subtle sign that your adrenaline is pumping. He wishes he could hear your heart beating through the screen.
Your fingers delicately trace over your collarbone, "what do you wanna see?" your voice drops to a sultry whisper.
His eyes darken and he takes a slow breath as fixates on you, taking in all your subtle gestures and the silkiness in your dulcet tone.
"Show me how you've missed me," he rasps. "show me what you've been doing while you've waited for me."
Christ, you want to melt into your mattress. You knew it was a playful gesture to create a more intimate atmosphere between you two, even if it wasn't true.
The challenge in his tone exhilarates you with a hint of collywobbles that infest your tummy. With a quick glance at your full-size mirror mounted on your closet door, you begin to tug at the strap of your skimpy top, teasingly revealing enough of your skin to keep him riveted.
And it works.
As you continue, you can hear the jingling of his belt being unbuckled and the sound of his zipper going down.
Your blown eyes are entranced by how he frees himself from the waistband of his briefs and you’re driveling over how the muscles under the porcelain skin of his cock twitches. He tilts his head back, transfixed on how you’re exposing your pebbled bud to him.
“Bloody hell,” he murmurs, swallowing thickly as you squeeze your breasts between your fingers. “Every inch of you looks perfect, lovie.”
You practically fawn over his compliments. He’s praising you, watching you, getting off to you. And that feeling is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You feel liberated and exposed, knowing that he’s eagerly watching you as the lines blur. This feeling consumes you, consumes him, and soon you’re stripping off your panties and he doesn’t even bother to hide the groan that escapes his lips.
“Look at you, absolutely stunning. Every bit of you…” His tone changes when you part your silken, glistening folds. “Touch yourself for me, lovie.”
It’s a demanding tone. One that sends a frisson up your spinal column and you feel the need to please, but there’s another side of you that awakens. The kind that crawls out when you’re being railroaded by a domineering man.
“Say please,” You wave your wand around.
He softly snorts at your attempt at trying to tame him, but he humors you, “Please, lovie. I crave ya.”
And that’s enough to inflate your ego. Your fingers switch on the vibrator and you tease it over your clit, bucking your hips at your sensitive clit.
There’s a twitch in his eyes when they widen. Like the light in his head switched on. “So you’ve been playing with yourself, have you, pretty girl?” he coos, sitting up a bit more. Oh, you’ve really got his attention now.
Your heart flutters at the same rate that your pussy does when you realize he takes note of your current over aroused state. “Maybe,” you give him a coquettish grin.
As you take the initiative and push the boundaries with him, a rumbling growl emits from him. His gaze intensifies as they lock on yours with a mixture of surprise and approval. He loves a good brat.
“Is that so?” he susurrates, his tone oozes with amusement. He likes the way your pretty face glimmers with the excitement to satisfy him. “You wanna take control now, do you?”
He shifts in his seat. “Go on then, lovie.” he gestures to you, and oh how his dick creams at the sight of you shaking your legs on for, gasping at the vibrating sensation of your toy caressing your cunt. You’re really such a site for sore eyes.
“Such a pretty pussy,”he praises with a husky voice that makes your heart race. The saccharine moans that leave your lips as you spasms against the silicone while you instruct him to tug at himself.
He obliges because how can he not when you’re looking so fucking luscious on the other side of the camera as you winsomely order him to smear the opulent precum that oozes from his angry, swollen tip. A little sob leaves your lips when you see how compliant he is, and how his chest shudders at your words and creamy cries of delight.
“Just like that,” he encourages, pumping at himself and in an instant the tables turn, and you’re more than willing to let him take control. He pants at the sight of your parted, saliva-lacquered lips and lolled back eyes. “No one else gets to see you like this. Only me.”
And that sentence alone leaves you breathless. “Oh, you like that?” He chuckles, through his own labored breaths. The raw emotions in his voice makes it clear how much he’s affected by you, “God, you’re everything I want and more.”
And that does it for you because your orgasm rips through you like a hurricane and you feel your spine involuntarily arch in pleasure, peaked breasts splayed out as your pussy rapidly pulsates on full display for him. They bounce at your ragged breaths and throes of passion and he’s quick to follow, elongating the pleasure of your peak. His velvety, opulent cum spurts out in plentiful, white cords as he bucks his hips and throws his head back. His guttural moans are like music to your ears and you’re quaking at the pure rapture.
There’s a long moment of silence as you both come down from your highs. A laugh leaves your lips, and a wry grin twitches at his features under his balaclava. You’re no longer dripping nerves. Your smile lights up the room, and his heart swells at the sight of your afterglow. Your confidence shines through and he’s still hard. Not a very common occurrence in the world of Ghost.
Your eyes flicker to his girthy cock and your grin spreads. His eyes follow yours and he chuckles and gently pumps himself, “not every day that happens.”
You cock a brow. “What the inviting me for a cybersex sesh, or the staying hard after cumming part?”
He barks out a hearty laugh, “Both I s’ppose.” he softly plashes. “Really got me goin’ there, lovie.”
And the nickname brings you back to life. Maybe you really were delirious because you can sense that his eyes display a different range of lingering emotions--persisting lust and a genuine admiration. You can’t help but to feel a little victorious as you watch him continue to stroke himself, even after the both of you reached your peak.
“Not everyday I meet someone who can keep up with me,” he rasps. He lets out a breath of satisfaction.
You tilt your head, a coy smile etches into your lips. “Guess I’m just full of surprises,” you reply softly. There’s that sensual confidence seeping into your tone and it shows on your body.
He chuckles. It’s low and alluring and it causes gooseberries to trail up your skin. “That you are, lovie,” he counters, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. His voice makes you feel warm and gooey. “Could get used to this…to you.”
The implication hangs heavy in the air making his interest in you clear and undeniable. Your heart skips a beat as the heat between you simmers again. It’s no longer the deviancy alone that tips him off, it’s the fact that he’s brought out a different side of you.
“Maybe next time,” your voice is low and tempting as your eyes motion to his still-engorged length. “you’ll let me show you how much more I can handle.”
His smirk widens under his mask, and his hunger for you multiplies. “Count on it.” he replies with the promise of fulfilling that request.
You both share a yearning moment. The spark between you is electrifying and certainly obvious. You decide to make the first move as you sit up to hover your sticky thumb over the end call button, “Good night, Ghost.”
He chews at the end of his cheek and his eyes crinkle signaling that he was smiling wide. “Good night, lovie.”
There’s no doubt in your mind that this won’t be the last time you’ll see each other like this.
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can we see rafe with a pouge reader and they are dating. they go out to go grocery shopping and rafe sees that she has a calculator out and watches as she picks up an item then types it in the calculator and then puts it back and chooses a cheaper option and he has to tell her that she doesn’t need to do that
birds of a feather - rafe cameron
word count: 2.9k belongs to this universe
The grocery store is quiet for a saturday afternoon, a rarity that makes the experience almost peaceful. Fluorescent lights buzz softly overhead as Rafe pushes a cart lazily with one hand, his other hand draped comfortably around his girl, you.
He catches your eye and smiles, relishing the way you always lean into him, your bodies fitting together perfectly. Dating you was like finding the missing piece of himself—something he always knew he needed but never thought he’d find, let alone on the other side of the island.
Rafe grabs a box of cereal, tossing it into the cart without a second thought. “You good on milk, babe?” he asks, scanning the shelves for anything else that might catch his eye.
You nodded absentmindedly, focusing elsewhere. He notices that you are holding your phone in one hand and have a small calculator app open. His brow furrows as he watches you pick up a box of pasta, glance at the price, and then quickly type something into the calculator. After a moment of calculation, you place the box back on the shelf and reach for a cheaper brand.
Rafe's heart clenches. He hadn’t really thought about the differences between you in this way before. He knows you don't have the same privileges he does—didn’t grow up in a life of luxury as he had—but it’s moments like this that make him feel like a fucking entitled douche.
He watches you do it again, this time with a jar of tomato sauce. You compare the prices, calculate the difference, and opt for the less expensive one.
“Hey,” Rafe stops you as you reach for another item. “What’re you doing?”
You blink, as if coming out of a trance, and look up at him with almost embarrassed smile. “Just trying to make sure I stay within the budget. Groceries can add up, y’know?”
He can’t stand the idea of you worrying about something as basic as food. Sure, he understands budgeting—everyone has to do it to some extent—but this? This was different. This was a mindset.
He gently takes the phone from your hand and slips it into his back pocket, keeping your hand in his. “You don’t need to do that. I’ve got you, okay?”
“Rafe, I—”
“I’m serious,” he interrupted, “You don’t have to worry about the prices. Just get what you want. We’re fine.”
You are grateful—God, you were always grateful—but there’s something else, something that has kept you up at night.
You hate relying on him. Not because you don’t trust him or appreciate everything he does for you, but because it reminds you of the whispers you’ve been hearing ever since you started dating.
You can almost hear the voices now, like a nagging reminder in the back of your mind. “Gold digger,” they’d hiss. “Dirty Pogue. Look at her, clinging to him for the money. She’s got him wrapped around her finger, totally pussy-whipped.”
The rumors had messed with your head the first time you’d heard them, and even now, they still hurt, despite knowing they weren’t true. But the worst part is that a small, insecure part of you hates there might be some truth to what they said. You didn’t want Rafe to feel like he had to take care of you, or that you were using him for his money. You love him too much to ever want him to think that.
You glance at him, watching as he casually tosses another item into the cart without checking the price, without even a second thought. He’s so at ease, so unbothered by the things that you had worried about during your entire lifetime. You can’t help but feel guilty, like you’re dragging him down, making him take on responsibilities that should be yours alone.
A you walk down another aisle, you keep your eyes on the floor, as you force the words out. “I know you’re just trying to help, and I really appreciate it, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me.”
Rafe stops in his tracks, turning to face you fully. His brows knit together in concern like he genuinely can't grasp what you just said.
“I don’t feel like that,” he says,“I want to take care of you because I love you. It’s not about feeling like I have to—it’s because I want to.”
“But I hear what people say, Rafe—”
“They don’t know shit,” he scoffs, hand wrapping tightly around the cart, “They don’t know. Anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves.”
You sigh, your shoulders slumping as you lean into him, “It’s not that simple, baby. But I appreciate the thought.”
His other hand tilts your chin up so you’re looking directly at him, “It is that simple. I love you. You love me. That’s it.”
You know he means it, that he’s not just saying it to please you, but it doesn’t make the worries disappear. You nod, giving him a small smile, but he knows your brain is working double shifts, imagining all kinds of scenarios.
He sighs, knowing this conversation is far from over, and presses a gentle peck against your temple, all while murmuring, “Let’s finish up here and get out of this place.”
You agree, and the two of you continue down the aisle. Your hands are itching to take your phone out of his back pocket, and your brain scrambling to do simple math. You hate it. You automatically reach for the off-brand items, skip over the more expensive snacks, and choose the smaller sizes of products to stretch your budget. Rafe is abnormally quiet and you know it’s taking every will power in his body not to pick you up and lock you in his truck while he finishes shopping for you.
He pauses in front of the snacks aisle, his eyes catching on your favorite candy. It’s something he knows you love but rarely allow yourself to buy. Without hesitation, he grabs a couple of bags and tosses them into the cart.
“Rafe, those are expensive—” you start to protest, but he cuts you off with a playful grin.
“They’re my favorite too.”
You open your mouth to argue, but the way he looks at you, with so much affection, makes the words die on your lips. Instead, you shake your head huffing as he wraps his arm around your shoulders dragging you along, “You’re so annoying.”
“Don’t be mean, baby.”
You squeeze his waist in retaliation.
When you finally reach the checkout line, he watches as you nervously glance at the total on the screen. It’s a small thing, for him, but it’s enough to make him realize just how much it affects you. Without saying a word, he hands over his card to the cashier, ignoring the way you try to protest.
“Rafe, you don’t have to—” you start, but he shakes his head, cutting you off.
“I know,” he says firmly, “But I want to.”
You bite your lip, nodding reluctantly as he pays for the groceries. It’s a small gesture, but it means the world to him. He wants to take care of you, to make sure you never have to worry about something as basic as food ever again. He wants to give you the life you deserve, the one you never experienced on The Cut.
He opens the trunk of his car, starting to load the groceries while you stand there, too quiet. He hates not hearing the sound of your voice.
“Hey,” he closes the trunk and turning to face you. “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
He steps closer, his hand finding a home in your neck, thumb caressing your pulsing point, “Forget about them okay?”
You sigh, forehead touching his chin, “I’m trying. I just don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me.”
“You’re not a burden,” he says firmly, fingers pulling your head up, his blue eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that, no matter how often it happens, still takes your breath away. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Now get that fine ass inside the car.”
You can’t help but laugh at the way he says it, so casually and with so much conviction that it leaves no room for you to second guess his thoughts. His confidence, his overwhelming trust in everything that he says, is one of the things you love most about him. He’s always been like that—bold, sure of himself, and unafraid to go after what he wants. And right now, what he wants is you.
“Why?” You tease, rolling your eyes but smiling as you let him guide you toward the car “You gonna make me if I don’t?”
You wish you could photograph the grin on his face, the way his beautiful eyes seem to drink you in like he’ll die if he doesn’t look at you all the time.
“Oh, you know I will,” he says as he steps closer, his hand slipping down to give your ass a firm but playful slap. The sound echoes through the quiet parking lot, and you gasp, more from surprise than anything else.
“Rafe!” you scold, though your laughter makes it known there’s no real annoyance. The smirk on his face only grows, clearly pleased with himself.
“Consider that a warning,” he leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “I’d hate to have to follow through.”
You try to hold back a grin, biting your lip as you tilt your head to look up at him.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wouldn’t I?” His tone is a challenge.
For a moment, you consider pushing more just to see what he’d do, but the way he’s looking at you—like he’s ready to scoop you up and take you back to his bed right then and there—makes you rethink it. Instead, you play along, giving him a coy smile as you turn and head for the door.
“That’s what I thought,” he calls after you, his deep voice filled with a smug satisfaction that makes you roll your eyes again. Before you can reach for the door handle, he gently pulls it open for you. You slide into the passenger seat, and before you touch the seatbelt, Rafe is leaning in, his hands brushing over yours as he clicks the belt into place.
“Safe and sound,” he murmurs, as he pulls back slightly. It’s something so simple, yet so endearing he has insisted on doing ever since the two of you started dating.
You smile up at him, practically oozing in your love for him as your hand reaches up to brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead.
“Thank you."
His gaze softens as he leans down to press a tender kiss to your lips, “Anything for you,” he whispers, his thumb brushing lightly across your cheek before he finally steps back and closes the door.
As he rounds the front of the car to get in on his side, you can’t help but watch him. It still blows your mind that this is real. The way he looks at you, the way he takes care of you without making you feel small—it’s everything you never knew you needed. You’re still not used to someone loving you like this, so openly. You never imagined Rafe Cameron would be that someone.
He starts the engine, the low hum filling the silence between you. The radio automatically tunes to a soft indie station, one of your favorites, and Rafe reaches over to lace his fingers with yours.
“I’m cooking tonight.”
You turn to him, even though you know his attention is on the road, “Really?”
Rafe’s thumb absentmindedly rubs circles on the back of your hand, “Hmmm.”
“So you can burn down the kitchen again?”
“Baby, that was one time.”
You snort, the image of Rafe with a fire extinguisher still fresh in your memory, “What’s on the menu?”
He grins, “I was thinking we could make that pasta you like, with the garlic bread.”
Your heart swells a little at the thoughtfulness behind his choice. He remembers all the little things—your favorite foods, the way you like your coffee, the songs that make you smile.
“Are you trying to get laid?”
He laughs, loud and boisterous as he lifts your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to your knuckles, “So you don’t want desert?”
You hit his shoulder gently, all too aware you’re still in a moving vehicle, “Don’t be nasty.”
His touch moves to your thighs, squeezing gently, "Can't help it when I'm around you."
The smile tugging at your lips is impossible to hide. There's something so easy about being with Rafe, despite everything. Despite the whispers, the looks, the insecurities that sometimes creep in—he has a way of making you feel like none of it matters.
The city lights begin to twinkle on the horizon, the sun dipping low in the sky. It's peaceful, the kind of quiet that lets you sink into yourself. The idea of a cozy night in, just the two of you cooking dinner together, fills you with a warmth that has nothing to do with the summer heat outside.
Rafe glances over at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Penny for your thoughts?"
You shake your head, the smile widening on your face. "Just thinking about how lucky I am."
He quirks an eyebrow, "I think I'm the lucky one."
"Yeah, but you're also really annoying," you tease, earning a chuckle from him.
"Annoying but irresistible," he counters smoothly, pulling into the driveway of his house
He parks the car and quickly rounds the front to open your door, always the gentleman. As you step out, you look up at him, your heart swelling with a love so deep it almost overwhelms you. It's not just the grand gestures or the way he spoils you—it's the little things, the way he makes you feel cherished, the way he sees you for who you are and loves you anyway.
"Ready for our gourmet meal?" he asks as he takes your hand, leading you towards the front door.
You laugh, leaning into him as you walk. "If by gourmet you mean slightly burnt, then yes."
He chuckles, his arm slipping around your waist as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. "With you, it's always perfect."
Before you can walk through the front door, he stops all too suddenly, dragging you against him. You’re confused for a second, looking up to see him ogle you.
“What?” You stutter out, “Something’s wrong?”
Rafe shakes his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his pink lips as he looks down at you with that same adoring expression that never fails to make your heart stop. "No, nothing’s wrong.”
You blink up at him, still confused, “Rafe...”
“I know you worry sometimes. About what people say, about what they think. But I don’t give a fuck about any of that. I only care about you, about us.” His hand moves to cup your face, his thumb moving gently along your cheekbone. “I love you, y’know that? Right? Aways.”
Your breath hitches at the sudden emotion in his voice. It’s random moments like this that remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place—beneath the confident, cocky exterior, Rafe Cameron has a heart that beats fiercely for the people he cares about, especially for you.
“I love you,” you whisper, feeling the words settle between you like a vow.
“I love you more,” he replies, his voice full of conviction. Then, with a small grin, he adds, “And I’m gonna marry you someday. We’re gonna have our own place, our own life. Just you and me.”
It’s not the first time you’ve talked about the future, but hearing him say it so plainly, so confidently, sends a warmth spreading through your whole body.
“Is that a proposal, Cameron?” you tease, though your voice wavers just a little, eyes burning as you pathetically attempt not to cry.
“Not yet,” he smirks, leaning down to press a peck to the corner of your lips, “But when I do, you’ll know. It’s gonna be perfect. Just like you.”
You pull back slightly, resting your forehead against his as you take a deep breath, trying to calm the stupid fluttering in your chest. “You mean it?”
“More than anything,” he replies without hesitation. “I want to build a life with you, baby. The kind of life where you never have to worry about anything, where you can just be happy.”
Tears form at the corners of your eyes, but they’re the good kind, the kind that comes from being overwhelmed with love. So different from the ones you’d experienced as a kid, growing up. You nod, not sure how to explain how you’re feeling inside, so instead, you pull him down for another kiss, letting your lips show what your voice can’t.
You kiss each other like you have all the time in the world, which you have, savoring the way your lips fit perfectly against his. There’s no rush, no urgency—just you two.
When you pull apart, both of you slightly breathless, Rafe gives you a lopsided grin, his lips just barely grazing yours as he speaks, “So, how about we start with dinner?”
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