#i feel like im going such a cliche route with this blog but

[ask-rodent-boy-blog]

Oooh, are you crushing on a guy or a girl? 👀

“No offense, I mean. Uh.. guy? Don’t really know why you guys are so invested in my personal life.”

[mizugucci]

hi mairin! 🎵

hey!! thanks for sending hehe i hope you like it! you have no idea how hard it was to hold myself back from taking the easy route and making your group concept mythology/planets bc of mars LOL i tried to make it a little less obvious

position: ooh this ones hard. you're probably a double threat, amazing at dancing AND singing, as well as the best at breath control (breathing evenly while singing during dancing) in your group. you're exactly in the middle of the group, just chillin with your skills

group name: couverture (preferably italicized!) is a very high quality type of chocolate w/ a higher percentage of cocoa butter. it's just fun to say (and i also found it via googling mars bars) but also the meaning behind it is that your group aims to be a high quality talent in the industry and help soothe people's sweet tooth. there are 9 members!!

concept: i cant believe im saying this but i think your concept is actually school. you know, school uniforms and all that. your theme (and those gifsets of dino) really makes me imagine a cream sweater vest over a white blouse topped with a touch of red (a bow? a tie? a bow tie???? up to you) BUT you all use the cliches of school and also go "the bad student/bad boy" route as well as the prep/nerd cliches for each comeback

debut song: hmm to match both your concept and your name... the music video's probably a valentine's day set in school. where everyone exchanges chocolates but there are like twists where 1 member goes on a hunt for chocolate by following 1 hershey kiss on the floor to the next, while another member is in a misunderstanding about who they gave chocolate to... you get the idea. the song itself is of course up beat, fun and funky. feel like it'd be a mix of mansae and q&a by cherry bullet

fun fact: during your first reality show you company actually makes you all go and tour a confectionery. you learn how to make chocolate and fudge and actually it's a really fun time

send me a 🎵 and ill create a kpop group for you based on your blog

[sirius-archive]

Champagne Kisses

Request: Georgie!!! Hey!!! Can I please have prompt 1, 5 and 18 with Steve Rogers??? Love your writing!!

Prompts: 1. That’s starting to get annoying, 5. I’m not here to make friends 18. What’s the matter, sweetie?

Prompts: Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: finally got around to finishing this!! First Drabble in the Drabble challenge! This is a first for this blog: a marvel imagine!! Pls request more.

In which Steve Rogers does not become an old man, Clint Barton is Single and Ready To Mingle, and Natasha Romanoff is [avengers endgame spoiler]

Enjoy!

***

In theory, the mission is fairly simple: Crash the rich dudes party, steal the biochemical weapon, and slap a lifetime sentence on said rich dude before he can take another sip of his ridiculously expensive champagne.

There is, however, one contingency that always seems to fuck theoretically simple missions up.

“Fuck!” Natasha’s voice is in your ear; a husky curse that tapers off into an irritated sigh, making the ear piece nestled in the shell of your ear crackle, “Dawson must have amped up the security once he got wind that the weapon’s in demand. There’s guards crawling all over the place. It’s starting to get annoying...”

Her words are cut off with a sharp grunt and you hear the crunch of broken bones low groans of pain as Natasha takes each one of them out. Glancing around the large ballroom, you spot several security guards loitering around the exit, looking equal parts bored and boring, and realise that Natasha is right.

“Well, it wouldn’t be any fun without a fist fight,” you sigh, twirling a ribbon of hair around your finger, chewing the velvety flesh of your cheek in annoyance.

“A woman after my own heart,” Natasha quips, a little breathless as you hear the crack of her knuckles against flesh.

“Tasha, you’d better not be flirting while I’m listening in,” You hear Clint quip, and you can almost hear the smirk tilting his lips as it curls up the edges of his words.

“Oh yeah?” You ask, your fingertips skimming across the spaghetti-string strap of your halter neck dress, “And what are you going to do about it, Clinton?”

“Don’t you worry sweetheart, I’ve always got something up my sleeve.”

You take an elegant sip from your flute of champagne, hiding your smirk, “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“Are you guys done?” Says a familiar baritone, and your breath catches in your throat.

Steve Rogers is several yards away, yet it feels as though he’s standing right behind you, hands on your hips and breath on your neck. Of course, the possibility of a romance with Captain America was something you only entertained in your sweetest dreams, but you supposed it was okay to fantasise...

“Oh Captain, my Captain,” you retort, sultrily, “We are only just beginning.”

“You’d better finish up then because we have a job to do...”

You can hear the smile in his tone, a touch of playfulness that seems to soften his scolding.

You shift in the bar stool, the delicate, smooth skin of your leg peeking out from the long slit in your satin, gold dress. You feel dozens of eyes swivel over your body appreciatively, drinking you in like golden champagne. In your previous life, that would have been the effect you were after. But tonight, you’re not here to steal hearts, only biochemical weapons.

“While you guys are having fun flirting and drinking champagne, I’ve actually been working,” Sams voice bites into your ear, his tone mingled amusement and exasperation, “I’ve scouted the area. Our escape route doesn’t seem to be affected by the additional security.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you were in here with me,” Natasha snaps.

“Clint, what’s your status?” Steve asks.

“Im in position, Cap,” Clint answers from a neighbouring rooftop, “Enjoying the view from up here.”

“I’ll need you on the ground with Romanoff,” Steve orders, “I’m moving into position.”

“We’re back on a last name basis?” Natasha says, the hum of her Widows venom buzzing in your ear, “Well that’s cold.”

You take another languid sip of champagne, taking in your surroundings.

Classical music swells from the orchestra, climbing up the wobbly, tumultuous ladder of a chilling crescendo as you watch the wealthy mingle with one another, shrill, careless laughter echoing. There was once a time when you were with them, either running a con or planning a heist. You never imagined that you’d be thrust back into this world again as an Avenger.

“(Y/N)?” Steve asks, his voice softening just slightly.

“I’m in position,” you answer, swirling your flute of champagne elegantly, “Waiting for your signal.”

“Good,” Steve commends, his voice sounding warm and clear, “By the way, gold really is your colour.”

Your heart leaps into your throat as you turn, surveying the room. Steve is in the corner, dressed up like a daydream as he stares at you from across the room.

Your gazes clash.

Your heart freezes.

Steve crosses the room, sliding into the vacant stool next to you.

You recover quickly, ironing out your posture as you try to bury your emotions beneath a nonchalant mask.

“That was quick...” you murmur, and Clint snorts.

“Don’t say it—” Sam warns through the comms, but Clint is already speaking.

“—Title of your sex tape.”

A smirk curls around your lips, meeting Steve’s eyes for one charged moment, “Oh Clint, that’s certainly not the title of my sex tape...”

An adorable shade of pink dusts the apples of Steve’s cheeks and he quickly averts his gaze. Tilting your head at Steve, a simpering smile sprawls across your lips.

“What’s the matter, sweetie? Cat got your tongue?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Steve glances at you, a hint of a smile tugging at the ends of his mouth. His expression straightens and he looks around, “Seen Dawson anywhere?”

“Nope,” you smirk smugly, “He’s still knocked out in the closet I left him in.”

Steve smiles, regarding you warmly. There’s an intensity in his eyes that you can’t quite place, a sense of longing that makes the base of your spine tingle warmly.

“I got eyes on the weapon.”

Natasha’s voice shatters the moment. Steve shakes his head, drawing himself out of a lingering gaze.

“Excellent. Sam, where are you at with the security situation?”

“Working on it,” Sam grunts, slamming a guard into a wall.

“And I’m with Nat now,” Clint adds, panting slightly.

“You’re getting too old for this game, Barton,” you quip and you hear Clint sigh.

“You bet I am.”

“(Y/N) and I will extract the plans from Dawson’s diary,” Steve mutters into his comm, “We will meet at the rendezvous point.”

“Copy.”

“Copy that, Cap.”

Steve nods purposefully and the two of you glide smoothly off the dance floor, edging toward the closed off hallway inconspicuously.

After swiftly evading the security personnel, you finally arrive at Dawson’s private study. Recalling the blueprint you had stolen earlier, you locate the secret passage and enter through a hidden door, scaling down a spiral staircase until you reach the secret, underground lair.

“Well if this doesn’t scream cliche James-Bond-style villain lair, I don’t know what else does,” you retort, sauntering into the cold, damp lair.

The two of you split off into opposite directions, silently rushing around the room in search of the diary.

Steve dashes forward, moving briskly, until he finds a locked drawer. Using his superhuman strength, he wrenches the door open and steals Dawson’s diary; a heavy tome with a large, metal bracket locking it into place. You and Steve exchange a look.

“Think you can break into it?” Steve asks, raising a questioning brow at you. You grin.

“Finally, I get to do something fun around here,” you quip, a sharp blade of crackling psychic energy shooting out from your palm. You neatly slice through the lock, the jaws unhinging with a click and a hiss, clanging loudly onto the floor.

You gaze at the book, teeth digging into your bottom lip. How many times had you used your gift to steal, and yet now you were using your abilities to save the world? It was a startling realisation that had crossed your mind hundreds of times over the past year or so since you had joined the Avengers as a criminal searching for redemption.

“I never thought...” you whisper under your breath, trailing off into silence.

“Never thought what?” Steve asks from the opposite side of the room and you glance back at him, momentarily forgetting about his superhuman hearing.

“I just...” you begin, unsure of how to phrase the emotions you’ve bottled up inside of you, “...I’m still adjusting to the whole ‘Avengers’ thing...”

Steve pauses, hesitating, gazing at you with so much hidden meaning, you think for a moment that you must have imagined it. Just as you think he’s not going to speak...

“Change always takes some getting used to, trust me, I know,” Steve takes a step toward you, blue eyes genuine and unguarded as they consider you carefully, “But friends always make it easier and - well - you have us...”

You clamp your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down on a sincere smile, “I’m - well - I’m not here to make friends.”

Steve slides a hand through his hair, “You can’t isolate yourself forever.”

You shrug, eyes not quite meeting his, “Doesn’t have to be forever, just until I’m sure about this...”

Steve frowns, expression rippling, “You’re not sure about us? About...” he trails off, blushing.

“No, not at all! Just, well, sometimes I feel like I’m not...worthy of this...”

Steve crosses the room, resting a warm hand on your shoulder as he ducks his gaze, peering into your eyes with a piercing gaze, “You don’t have to doubt yourself, (Y/N). Just you being here is enough, enough for everyone and enough for me.”

His hand lingers, and there’s so much sincerity in the clear, ceraluen depths of his eyes, you almost believe him. And then his fingers start to trail up your neck, calloused tips dancing across your skin until they tangle around a loose strand of hair and you melt into his touch, embracing it. You’re drawn to him, stepping closer, until you can connect the green flecks in his eyes like constellations, and your eyes flutter closed for a moment, his voice leaking into your mind, into your inner ear, crystal clear and overflowing with hidden yearning.

...Kiss her...

Without really thinking, you step forward, pressing your lips to Steve’s in a gentle kiss. Steve immediately responds, cupping your face with strong hands as he groans against your lips, his tongue gliding across the bottom cushion of your lip. You moan in response, parting your lips, and you taste champagne and mint and a hint of whiskey, and it’s like tasting sunlight in the early mornings, the ones you love the most, and you arch into him, raking your fingers through his hair and tugging him closer, closer, closer.

“Erm...you guys still there?”

Distantly, Sams voice breaks into your consciousness and you groan, reluctantly breaking away from Steve with an irritated sigh.

“We were kind of having a moment here, Wilson,” you snap, and Sams chortles trickle into your ear.

Plucking the comm from your ear, you carelessly toss it onto the desk with a smirk. Steve’s brows nearly graze his hairline, but he copies you anyway, and with a smirk, you step toward him.

“Now, where were we?”

****

[therealestatesparkblog]

Q & A With Real Estate Attorney: Structuring JVs, Newbie Closing Mistakes, and How to Build Your Team

Whether youre on your way to your first deal or your 50th, one thing you cant escape is the paperworkyouve got to get your deals signed, sealed, delivered. For that reason, one of the most important pieces of your team is your legal representation. You need lawyers for real estate, contracts, andeventually, as you graduate to developmentand use and zoning regulations. The Importance of Legal Representation in Real Estate In my case, one particular land use and zoning attorney single-handedly, overnight, took my business from two- and three-family properties to high rise developments. Because of thisI kid you notI ended up on the cover on my home countrys version of The Wall Street Journal, with words like glorious and tycoon used to describe me. What?!

Imagine that. Only in America. I started my real estate company in 2016, basically just picking up smaller duplexes and triplexes. In late 2017, my father, my nephew and I set up a development subsidiary. We started with $850,000 in seed capital to pursue more aggressive opportunities. Since then, weve exploded, inching close to $80MM in the development pipeline. One of the key components to that growth strategy has been how we structure our acquisitions legally. (And not legally as in not illegal, but legally like the legal composition of the transactions paperwork.) Structuring Deals as Joint Ventures My favorite method is through joint ventures (JV). In Q1 alone, weve gone under contract for over 200,000 square feet of buildable real estate. Altogether, when built, those properties have an estimated $56MM aggregate valueall through the JV. Dmitriy Ishimbayev runs his law firm from the 85th floor of the World Trade Center. This is us here, actually discussing the structure of one particular simple JV we thought we had in the books.

Since the deal isnt happening, Ill spill the beans. Hopefully the person who reneged will read this and feel embarrassed (since well most likely do business in the future). A piece of shovel-ready land (i.e., no approvals needed) on a corner lot by Temple University was for sale at $175,000owned free and clear. It was a decent corner lot. It didnt work as a straight buy at that price point. But it could work as a JV.

Gist of This Deal Sellers bring the land. I bring the capital. A third partner builds. We earn an even 33 percent for each. For this specific deal, we were looking at an ARV of $1 million at $600K to build. Usually you structure these a bit differently, but in this case, it turned out everyone actually knew each other. Happy days. Lets just keep it simple, I said. And well roll over the proceeds to a larger deal. Seller agreed. All agreed.We sent the contract and were just waiting for the signature. All of a sudden, the seller wants money. The third partner texts me with the news, asking, What price point would you consider it at for a straight buy? Im not interested, I responded. It doesnt work as an acquisition, only as a JV. I didnt care what discount the would offer me, a deal is a deal. So the deal was off. It is what it is. It happens. To be honest, I was doing the deal to let my 20-year-old rockstar associate KT build his own portfolio and earn his first promote. Lesson? A deal isnt done until the ink is dry. I mentor many young investors, either through advice or smaller co-investments. And they often ask, How do you talk landowners into giving you their land?! Well, its a little more complex than that. (Im going to write about this particular growth strategyand how I do itin detail in another piece.) At the end of the day, your paperwork has to be airtight. So I figured we should get the answers straight from the horses mouth: the attorney behind the activity. Q & A With Real Estate and Business Attorney Dmitriy Ishimbayev I went back to World Trade to sit down with Dmitriy. And boy, do I have some gems to share with you. In this question and answer session, we discussed mistakes newbie investors make, how to avoid them, and what every new investor should look for before, during, and after closing.

Whats up, D! Dmitriy Ishimbayev: Hello, Philip. Lets do this. You see a million deals on a daily basis, from single family to high rises. Whats the number one mistake you see real estate investors make contractually? I think the number one mistake real estate investors make is that they do not include the right contingencies. Or, even worse, they dont put contingencies at all. A lot of real estate dealsfrom tiny deals to complex transactionshave skeletons. And you, as an investor, should have an option to get out of the deal if the deal turns out not to be what you signed up for. When youre new to something, you really dont know what you dont know. Whats the best advice you can give young real estate investorsentrepreneurs evenas they get ready for their first deal, investment, or even business? I always tell my clients, be it entrepreneurs, real estate investors, or business owners, start building your team earlyand dont do it alone. Find people with experience in your fieldand that applies to mentors, lawyers, accountants, and other advisors. Does that mean find someone with decades of experience? Do not hire a lawyer just because he or she has 30 years of experience. Find a lawyer who has experience in what you plan to do. If youre an entrepreneur, find one who understands the fast-paced world of a startup. If youre a real estate investor, one who understands the complexity of a real estate transaction. But most importantlyas cliche as it soundsfind people who care about the success of your venture and who are interested in building a long-lasting relationship with you. What are the main issues you see come up during a closing period? In most of the deals, things come up the last minute, and you need to make sure that you have an experienced attorney who knows how to navigate the deal toward closing. Most delays happen because one party relies on the other party to do something (thinking, Well, it is not my responsibility) and loses sight of the end goal of everyonethe closing. So make sure your attorney stays on top of all the parties involved, the attorney representing the other party, lender, title company, brokers, etc. One of the issues that comes up quite often is people underestimate how long it takes to accomplish certain tasks, especially when you deal with lenders, coop boards, or municipalities. For example, to order a collateral for a simple co-op sale can take four to six weeks; getting an inspection done by the city officials can take weeks. The lesson: start early with all the paperwork and dont leave anything until the last moment. Some readers may be thinking, How do I do a JV? Whats the benefit of a real estate joint venture? JV is a great tool that allows you to be creative in how you structure a transaction. For example, in the Temple triplex deal [you mentioned earlier], each party had a unique asset or skill: one party was to contribute the land, another was to bring financing, and the third was to develop the project. Is this common and can other investors do this also? This type of JV is somewhat common for real estate transactions. The main benefits of a JV from a legal perspective are that it is very flexible and it allows to share the risks between the parties. Once you decide, however, to go the JV route, make sure you have a written JV agreement, outlining all the duties and responsibilities of all parties involved.

What other questions do you have about joint ventures? Let me know in a comment below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/blog/real-estate-attorney-jvs-mistakes-team

[wallkickswillwork]

signal jamming

incoherency is comforting because of the narrative weve been fed our whole entire lives that in order to be palatable media must in some way be complete and have beveled, well-defined edges rather than being a mess of finger paints, bright colors, strange dialogues and verbiage, build trees of moods.

thoughts on: -futuristic anime, 90s anime and the unique sense of mood in toonami shows. they are a very good series of shows for people who are coming of age and who must slowly be forced to reckon with the industrialization and mercenary nature of adult life, as it is increasingly held captive by capitalism. there is also something essentially spiritual about it, especially shows like precure and dbz, where an interior or exterior-made-interior force is responsible for the protagonists' success in the face of an oppressive world-system. under capitalism, it frequently is the case that the entire world or entirety-of-world is against us. heroes must overcome overwhelming odds to leave their mark on a gauntlet of greats. -cowboy bebop, final fantasy 7, metroid as meditations on loss, urbanization, dating back to blade runner. this is a type of meditation that is present in much of cyberpunk, but its also not exclusively cyberpunk, and can extend in nature to non-cyberpunk works.

thinking about necrobarista and how its attempting to "resuscitate" anime, while this approach doesnt really examine what contemporary anime like jojos, precure, and slightly more dated anime like hidaske and nichijou do well. if we get all this tunnel vision for gurren lagann and flcl we can never look forward. i think a lot of the visual work that needs to be done is probably in movies. i think maybe there could be work done to marry cinema proper with its animated counterpart. steven universe seems like it gets it, and there are some anime that really seemed like they got it. i dont think were beyond salvation.

-listening to the whos "tommy" and thinking about how trauma and the humanity of that trauma is experienced and lived-through by the main character in socratic fashion. these stories are discussed by people whose actual, authentic experience of trauma irl is doubtful at best. they are great successes on stage who dont struggle in the sense that an actual victim would struggle. calls to mind how a lot of freuds patients would fabricate csa in order to fulfill the expectations of the therapist. but in other cases, actual patients with csa would repress their experiences or not feel comfortable discussing. so thats how i feel about gurus like meher baba or i guess alan watts. less trustworthy and more like scam artists. i do believe in what they teach, however. i think that a guru can teach the truth even if that guru is a liar. maybe its the truth, but the guru doesnt know it to be true, or else, the way the guru teaches it is untrue.

-for a while i imagined my own autism to be the result of childhood trauma that was repressed, but later emerged that those memories were fabricated, to my knowledge, and was left wondering.

-learning to regard the world with a sense of wonder from media like cowboy bebop and ff7. these worlds are jaded and decaying realities but there is a sense of awe at the vast, uncompromising reality. truly vast, sprawling and yawning cities and vast starry skies up above. beholding these things and beholding the starry skies and huge cities of our own planet surely stirs something in me.

-fantasy anime tends to go the joke route like slayers or else the route of "we are all kids, bro, stuck in an mmo" and i think this is mostly due to the admittedly antiquated setting of high fantasy in european trochets and history which to japanese people probably feel like white person set dressing and as they should, i mean. there are more high fantasy themes in something like inuyasha and japans history can be feudal, edo, the meiji restoration, primordial like princess mononoke, etc, so theres more wiggle room for historical works there. slayers et al is usually reduced to "characters moving around the forest" which is almost like this grand slice of the collective anime consciousness as it stands overlapping with, say, pokemon, to the extent where its one of the cliche anime things everyone thinks about, alongside high school, robots, nurses, etc.

-another thing to which we could probably ascribe the success of something like slayers to is wizardry and by proxy dragon quest. small graph paper monster garden games. the appeal is entirely mathematical so there are only a few directions that anime directors tend to run with it (goofy gag comedy if youre making a show or cut and dried authentic dungeon crawlers with moe characters instead of the usual dbz ones). going off what you definitely learn in japanese history class if youre a japanese student, for starters, there are thousands of years of chinese history, so you have romance of 3 kingdoms type stuff. or you have high school romances accounting for the various fire emblems where the appeal becomes game of thronesy "which of my characters in dragon quest land can i make kiss each other and myself", very good ground to cover as we start asking the important questions. theres samurai stuff as we already know, drawing on years of samurai media, kurosawas films and zen spirituality, art of the blade type stuff, jeet kune do in some instances and reaching so far afield as to probably raise some interesting and important questions about pan-asiatic cultural identity which this author (white) is ill-advised to answer. but reeling it back in, the question mostly being of history, and how a lot of fantasy media draws more from History proper as a codified cultural body than histories being individuated familial experiences. its true that when a work does something unique with history (earthbounds hippy dippy approach to the 1960s, undertales handling of furry culture, yume nikkis south american murals) its tended to be seen as that works "thing" as if because hulk hogan was an all american wrestler that precluded john cena from being same, or at least, embodying a similar if slightly modified niche. nobody can make a hippy dippy rpg now or something because itd just be called an earthbound ripoff rather than a loving homage. and i think thats wrong headed and how genres become stillborn rather than invented and developed upon. we have this vast morass of stuff from the 20th century and we could be developing various 60s, 70s, 80s fantasies. hindsight is 20/20 i guess. who knows, we could see bluff city become something in 50 years time.

i feel this is because of extreme stringent expectations of intellectual property laws and their dissemination into everyday discourse online. i dont really like or agree with monolithic cultural expectations like intellectual property or *shudder* advertising, but only to the extent where i can acknowledge that whether or not i agree with them is irrelevant to their all-consuming scope and the need for marxists to actively combat them. its one thing to say "x is bad" and another to clamor for urgency of fighting x, which is, if you believe what we read every day about global warming, too late, so its not important. nevertheless there are a multiplicity of settings that could be developed into genres and identities and ideologues that rarely are if only because it would be seen as "oh yeah like that other thing". people are fickle and develop dwarflike strange moods when it comes to defining what constitutes original versus hackneyed and derivative. i think its mostly dictated by star signs and the weather.

so lately if you follow me on twitter youve probably noticed im doing sort of a tweet concrete kind of thing where i post plaintext quotes from various media taken out of context. i decided to do this for a while, maybe a few weeks, because aesthetic blogs and the aesthetic style of blogging allow me to pool and channel my energies towards larger and more ambitious styles of writing. i usually get loaded on caffeine during this process and frequently watch large amounts of anime and meditate some. its definitely a process and its geared toward something hazily, vaguely spiritual but with pretentions toward being authentically publishable as theory. the idea also being i would like to make some money to support my livelihood, and i like to write, and am somewhat skilled at it, or at least experienced in kind of a ramshackle homespun sort of way. so if my social media presence is pretty boring and kind of weirdly nostalgic or else contrariwise if you feel it has improved lately thats the reason why that happened.

ive been getting very hazy and foggy mentally lately. i feel like it has to do with caffeination and lack of sleep. its important to get everything flowing properly, and sometimes depression and anxiety make that difficult to do. theres anxiety over unemployment, something im trying to remedy, and theres anxiety over theory and where to proceed next via theory. for years i was a devout buddhist in some ways, and meditated a lot, almost every day. i prayed to the bodhisattvas and copped to buddhist metaphysics, something which, based around personal life experience, i had every reason to believe was true. lately and in my own, strange way, ive begun to question this ideology and interpret it as part of a patchwork of ideologies, each one which attempts to describe a totality, a totality which is rarely if ever described properly by any ideology. grasping at straws in a structural sense, and feeling nonplussed but with no ground to run to, and im back on the boss level in super mario 64 where bowser smashes the ground to make it fall away. attempts at restructuring as this dissolution transpires only serve to create new protocols equal in scope to pre-existing paradigms. and there are plenty of people who dont struggle this much with religion and probably still go to heaven, or think theyre going to heaven, or something. hows marge and the kids. did jerry get that new promotion. mom just got back from vacation in cancun. smalltalk style concerns arising in every day transitionary speech feel distinct and very distant from these kind of hazy, pie in the sky questions. plato never wrote about the kind of stuff you see in a cheers episode. there are philosophy books that try to merge the two, but they usually get shelved in the comedy section.

so its mostly a matter of trying to absorb and contain new information, which abides in abundance, and trying to corral it into sort of a pointing arrow to direct me where to go, in my hewing, a feat not easily done. probably the endgame is in the crafting and solution of art, but what kind of art, and whether i have the tools at my disposal to even create it, is less easily answered. so for now, i guess, im absorbing, waiting, asking questions, and who knows, and who can say.

earliest memories of religion are of the greco roman religion and not knowing about the mystery religious rites but knowing about an abstract concept of wisdom and the ocean and extrapolating the existence of athena and poseidon in that way. later i have memories of exposure to christianity and buddhism and bahai but none of these things feel particularly useful to me at this time in my life. i can more readily receive a picture, a kind of enlarged image, of a broad religious landscape and some of the questions it attempts to provide answers for, or at least, a way of thinking about. the greco roman religion, for instance, is a presentation of a deleuzian multiplicity, and the monotheistic religions are a monad, but i also dont think either of these things can say the other is inherently undesireable. tolerance seems to be the best method, but also, and likewise, not dwelling specifically in any of them. acknowledging they all exist, but not being any of them. enjoying in surfeit the tension between multiplicity and monad. that there can be many things and one thing. like the album cover of dark side of the moon.

[chibinekochan]

Hi💗I wanted to thank you for your amazing work and that I am so glad for finding your blog. This is my first request ever Could you write a fabric with MC x Jumin, where Jumin's dad doesn't approve of her first and because he thinks MC isn't enough for his son and tries to persuade him in marrying an other powerful heiress. But the plot is that MC is a trust fund kid but in an other country but she hasn't told him. I hope this is not too specific and you can change the story if you want 💗

Im glad you like my writing and I´m glad you found my little space.I´m thankful for all your support ! I know you liked a lot of thethinks I made it really means a lot to me.

Thatgoes to all of my lovely followers of course. I would benothing without you !

I´m honored to do your first request ever.

Its not too specific at all. I can picture that Sr Han is doingsomething like that.

I´ll do it as au since it would not make much sense after Juminsroute it also makes it more fun to write.

1,5k words

You had kept your upcoming as a offspring from a wealthy family asecret from the RFA. It was part of the agreement that you had withyour father. You wanted to be independent from him and from him andfrom his money. You wanted to prove him and yourself that you coulddo it without him. So you left the country and your more thensheltered life to life in Korea. It was really hard for you to getused to the commoner ways. You where more then happy that you atleast had a grandmother that lived in Korea she was the main reasonwhy you wanted to live in this country in the first place. She alwayshad told you about the country and you where eager to find out more.Of course you messed often up but you always tried your best. Youthen got leaded to the apartment from Unknown. It was easy for himsince you where naive enough to believe him.

You liked the apartment though and you had some experience withplanning partys thanks to your mother. You liked the lively people inthe RFA and you wanted to tell them the r´truth but you knew that ifyou did your father would force you to return home. It became harderby the day.

Specially after you fell in love with Jumin. You really not hadplanned to like him that much specially when he came from a richfamily himself the exact world you wanted to escape from. He feltdifferent to you though you felt a connection to him like with no oneelse. Maybe it was because you both where that similar. Your feelingsonly grew after you met on the RFA party. You kept on calling eachother when times got hard and before you knew it you wanted to meetmore and more. You knew you should tell Jumin the truth even whenthat would mean that you eventually had to return back home. It madeyour heart feel heavy but you not wanted to lie to Jumin.

Then one day in the chat he told everyone about the plans his fatherhad for Jumin. It was so bad to hear that he was suppose to marry awoman that he not loved and on top of that you secretly regrettedthat you not told Jumin earlier that you are also have a wealthybackground.

You thought that if Sr. Han knew that your family was rich he wouldnot oppose it but to say it now of all times was also not right toyou. If Jumin thought that you where just after his money or hisstatus that would be very awful to you.

What could you do though lie or tell the truth and risk yourrelationship ?

You had a hard time to figure it out you seek guidance from yourgrandmother she always was wise in such situations. This time she gotkind of angry at you though. Since she really not liked it that youkept it hidden for so long that you where in love. You feel terribleabout that. Then she tells you that you need to follow your heart andthat she would take care of your father in worse case scenario afterall you are an adult and she would be their to support you no matterwhat.

You are glad about that and you plan to tell Jumin the truth afterall he been really open about everything with you. You call him andask if you can come over. Jumin has nothing against it since hewanted to talk to anyway about the engagement that he not even agreedto.

You end up talking about Jumin´s  feelings about this wholeengagement think and he really does not like that. He talks about howhis father just decided that without him and he is strongly againstit. You know how he feels your father was also ever like that to you.

Jumin really dislikes it how his father tries to persuade him and youagree with him you really not want him to marry anyone that he doesnot love. Jumin then asks you what you have on your mind since itsounded really important to him but just when you want to tell himeverything his father calls him and tells Jumin that there is aImportant Business party in the evening and Jumin needed to attend toit. You where worried about it and Jumin not wanted to go either. Henot really had a  choice it sounded really important so he asked youto come with him. You could talk at the way their if you wanted to.You where surprised by his sudden invitation and where wondering ifit really was okay for you to join Jumin like that.

He said that he wanted you to come along since he had the feelingthat his father was planning something and he wanted you to be theirto support him. You agreed even when you where not sure how yousuppose to keep your calm if his father really planned on somethinglike to announce the engagement to the public. You where afraid ofthat moment.

You arrived with him at the very extravagant party it looked way tofancy to be a simple business party it looked like your fears wouldcome true. You where afraid of the announcement of Jumins engagementhow would he react to it if his father would tell it to the wholeworld in all public?

Your heart was pounding. Jumin introduced you to his father who waspleased to meet you but he did not like the fact that Jumin broughtyou to this party. He wanted Jumin to meet the woman who he hadchosen once again even when Jumin always disagreed on it. His fatherhad invited her too and it was the exact kind of woman that Jumindisliked. She was like all these people that you knew too goodyourself. It made you mad that Jumin was suppose to marry that kindof woman. Just for her money too it was terrible. You where sighinglightly at the woman her presence took your energy away. You justwanted to get out of the awkward situation.

You excused yourself to the bathroom. You hated this whole situationso much why couldn´t you just tell Sr. Han that if he is looking forsomeone with money he could just let you marry Jumin too. You couldat least make him happy. You where quietly scolding yourself forbeing that weak.

If you only could tell Jumin the truth then this whole situationcould had been avoided. No that was really not the right thing tofocus on. You where sighing and prepared yourself mentally for thenext round.

When you looked up you saw Jumin right in front of you. You panicked, did he heard what you where just saying ? You where praying that hedid not. “You really should tell me the truth I thought you trustme by now.” Jumin looked really sad. “I do I really wanted totell you  but if I do then I will have to leave…”You wherelooking down to the ground. “If it´s about your father I´malready aware of that situation.” Jumin looked at you and you wherereally surprised. “You knew … but how and since when ?” Youcould not believe your ears. “707 found it out right after youjoined I found it out after the first party. 707 told us all to keepquiet so we would not loose you.” Jumin sounded extremely calm. Howcould he be that calm about the truth that you kept hidden for solong ? “So all of you knew this the entire time ? But why are youtelling me that now ?” You where more then confused. “As I saidwe not wanted to risk that we loose you or that we destroy yourfuture by forcing you to stay.” Jumin came closer to you and youfelt your heart was pounding. “And the reason why I tell you thisnow is because it does not matter  to me I really love you for whoyou are I never cared about the money that your family has.” Juminlooked deep into your eyes and you where blushing. “I love you tooJumin and I am sorry that I not told you this earlier.” You stillfelt extremely guilty about this. “I know you wanted to tell methis you where trying it a few times  when I recall it right.”Jumin was smiling slightly. You where nodding and it was reallyembarrassing. “You don´t need to worry about this woman either Itold my father that I already choose who I marry and that is ofcourse you. I know you might need some time to think about it andthis is not the proper place to do so but I will diffidently marryyou no matter what.”  Jumin left that statement and then turnedaround and walked back to the party before you could give him anyreplay.

End note : This turned into a very cliche romance movie or soap operaso its still Jumins route.

That is how you get someone to marry you the Han way -!

Takea look at my Masterlistmy requests are open so drop by !

[sk1nny-b01]

hey

im ingrid. this is gonna be my blog for bad mental health, if you are uncomfortable with talk of eating disorders, self harm, anxiety, panic attacks or depersonalisation i would apreciate you not reading this blog; wouldn't want anyone having a bad time made worse. 

ive had anxiety issues since i was 8 eight that actively went untreated for years. i developed my ed as a result at 12 after going into high school. in the 4 years I've had it i tried to recover twice; once age 13 after going from 59kg to 54kg, once at 16 going after from 75kg to 64kg. I'm currently at 75kg as I've only just gotten worse these last few months after periods of wellness due to stress of exams, future plans and friends. the blog is 18+ i don't want little kids here, i don't want to let others go down the route i did when i was 12 of following ed blogs and hating myself. please if you're here to look for tips, diets, thinspo  because you heard thats how you get sick then go away. you don't wanna be sick, trust me.

apart from being ill, since it isn't a personality trait or anything, I'm a fan of xmen, peaky blinders, inspector morse tv shows, cillian murphy, freya major and tilda swinton. I'm currently sitting a levels and its killing me from the inside out. I'm bisexual (though that just between you and me). i have a hamster and i am addicted to caffeine. expect these to come up if you want to follow.

im not gonna lie, don't particularly like the user names so if you have any ideas of a less cliche one feel free to comment/message me.

ta x

note: decapitalisation insnt an aesthetic choice im just used to using my phone but tumblr deleted itself so I'm on my laptop and am too lazy to hit the caps button.

[cchsctv]

The Trip of a Lifetime

as i sit here in the CTV room, the day after we got back from nashville at 2:54pm wanting to go home bc im literally running on 3 hours of sleep and alfredo thinks its a good time to be a good teacher and let his tv1 students edit their musicals????? i can honestly say, the separation anxiety from the group and withdrawals from STN as a whole are so real and so heartbreaking. being able to wake up and walk 2 feet to whatever room i choose and behind the doors are some of the people that i love the most. its so surreal. before this trip, we were, mere, a group of friends. but as the trip progressed, we became a family. and thats cliche and all. but for STN2017, i can’t say that. i can’t say we were a family. STN2018 exceeded my expectations and i wouldnt change it for the world.

Since i didn’t blog the night of trash n i’s individual. lets get into that. we got into the room with the prompt pickup 30 minutes before and we met up w schwammy and chadster since movie trailer was also getting their prompt at the same time as we were. i think my favorite part of prompt pickup was the fact that a guy from ithica college or whatever the heck it was called. CAME UP TO US AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE COLLEGE MEANWHILE ITS 8:29 AND THE PROMPT COMES OUT AT 8:30. the clock struck 8:30 and the amount of speed ashton n i whipped our head around to get the prompt seemed so extra but that ithica guy had it coming freakin idiot. anyways. we got the prompt and we didnt look at it until we got outside by the big staircase. we read it and we booked it back to the room to start brainstorming. we got an idea kinda fast, we both unanimously agreed to take the metaphorical route of I Walk the Line. bc we thought everyone was gonna go the geometry route. WHICH THEY DID AND IT WON????????? IM FINE WE’RE FINE. ANYWAYS. we got our concept and we start filming and filming without a script and without shot comp in mind or written down is VERY difficult and lead to much frustration and confusion and doubts in our story line. seeing THE ashton bosse break down bc he was not proud of what we were doing and he thought it made no sense at all had to be the most heartbreaking thing to have witnessed. i think i wouldve lost it too.. bc as the one to figure out the concept, i still had no idea what it was about tbh. i had no idea wth we were filming and what order it was being filmed in. i think one of the main reasons i didnt break down was the fact that i KNEW that no matter what footage we got.. we were gonna pull thru and it was gonna be amazing. and it freaking was. ashton and i went into the editing room so chill thinking, “what we got sucks, we’re just gonna put some clips together and export” so throughout the whole 3 hours, we LITERALLY had a picnic, within the first hour we had eaten a bag of popcorn, doritos, laffy taffy, ASHTON ATE ALL THE FUN DIP, and some gummy bears. we were literally so chill that we took a photo booth picture on my laptop of us catching the gelatinous bears in our mouth. its iconic. we also kept loooking back at becca and chad and nicole n bri and they all seemed so into it but meanwhile ashton accidentally spilled a cup of water after specifically telling me not to, OH AND I HOPE TAYLOR FINALLY GOT THE RIGHT SANDWICH #iykyk anyways trash n i exported and had about 15 minutes to spare. we were both so incredibly unexpectedly proud of the outcome which was surprising bc we literally watched it again after it was the hard drive and it ends and we look at each and other and simultaneously shrug our shoulders and go "yeah ok." seeing jimmy pg's face as it ended when we showed them after really made me feel like we had done something right and made me more confident than i was already. he always stressed to make it clear, and to make the audience feel what you want them to feel, and he said we did that. so that was dope. 

anyways after we waited for becca and chad and schwammy's face when he met up w them was the cutest thing ever. you guys killed it #proud, bri n nicole were next and literally i dont think anyone has experienced 2nd hand stress as much as everyone watching them TRY to export did. but they did it woo. felipe and melissa freakin exported w 45 minutes to spare. APPLAUSE TO EVERYONE BC ALL OF CTV MADE DEADLINE.

line dancing was probably the greatest excursion (#vocab) we had all trip. ACTUALLY DAVE N BUSTERS I LOVEEEEEEE MY LIGHT UP PINEAPPLE SHOUTOUT TO JAKE MAYOR AND SHOUTOUT TO JIMMY PG FOR NAMING US THE BEST NEWS SEGMENT IN CRAZY 8'S BC GIRLLLLLLL I WOULDNT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WITOUT IT. just a little apprecation post for my #softnews/softstanduppartner BUT back to line dancing. dancing like freakin crazy bats and in a circle and just hearing ethan yell FAMILY the whole time just idk like becca said it was surreal and i couldnt believe that i was able to be there in the presence of such talented individuals and be able to call them my best friends and the group of people that i can go to when i need a shoulder to lean on. 

STN went by way too fast and it literally felt like 2 minutes but the days felt like 47 hours. the exhaustion and the constant walking around that damn hotel was so unnecessary but i would do it all day everyday if it meant being with this group of people forever. 

to the presidents; thank you for leading us. thank you for leaving such a legacy that will be so hard to follow but one that we will try so hard to surpass. thank you for showing me what the family side of ctv is which ive been waiting for since my freshman year. i love you all as individuals and even more as leaders.

to my fellow officers; no better group to lead with than all of you together. we each have our own qualities that added up to one amazing and successful year.

to the senior oldbies; thank you for everything you've done and thank you for not giving up on this club even if it is your senior year and all you guys wanna do is graduate. youve showed massive perseverance and determination. and even if some of the seniors are newbies this year, youve impacted my life and have inspired me to be better and do better.

to my underclassmen newbs; its just the beginning guys. you all have 2 more years left and you guys are such passionate, persistent, and happy individuals and you should all be proud of what you guys have accomplished this weekend. and don't lose your drive to create and better yourselves as creators and journalists. youre in for a hell of a high school career. 

to andrew n gabby; we are going to be seniors. its time to put everything we've learned and to turn it into everything we'll teach. to the newbies of this year and to the incoming newbies. i love you both. i can't wait to continue the CTV legacy. we can make it a 4peat. i know we can. 

and last but not least,

to alfredo pichardo; i cant begin to express how grateful i am to be able to follow in your footsteps. thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me into your world of TV production and to experience what it is to have the greatest high school experience ever. whether it be from ctv or sga. you're there through it all and i wouldnt want it any other way. i love you immensely and i hope i've made you proud and can continue to making you proud. because who knows. i might be changing my college major just because of this trip.

and with that. my stn2018 experience has come to a close. 

here's to the laughs, the tears, the wepahs, but most importantly the bond that we've all created and i hope to keep that bond for as long as possible. i love you all always. 

For CTV Soft News, this has been Aleggsama Pichardo the Wepah Queen.