#i feel like cassandra is under-represented but this post is so long

[bookerwrites]

Hope Has a Place (In a Lover's Heart)

Cross posted on AO3 here!

Pairing: Solas/Lavellan

Summery: Lavellan let's Solas in on a little game she used to play.

Word Count: 1,302

Content: Fluff, light angst, some good old hurt/comfort, discussion of spirits. Spoilers for Dragon Age: The Veilguard!

“I was right about you.” Lavellan sighs as she turns the page of her book, squeezing Solas’ hand softly. They’re sat beside each other on the sofa in the reflection room, thighs pressed together as they read quietly.

“Oh? How so, vehnan?” Solas asks, his attention not quite wrested from his reading. Lavellan shifts next to him, untucking one leg from under herself as she dog ears her page and turns to face him, a mischievous smile slipping onto her face that he doesn’t quite catch.

“I always knew you’d be a spirit of wisdom.”

Solas is startled, momentarily, by her words, his book tumbling into his lap as he looks up at her in shock. “You-You knew?” He asks, his voice almost imperceptibly higher as he swallows nervously before clocking the teasing look on Lavellan’s face.

“Oh.” He murmurs, his brows creasing as he picks up his book and tries to find his place. As she presses closer to him she catches the wry little smile that he’s trying to stop from tugging at the corner of his lips.

“It was a game I liked to play on long journeys.” She says softly as she leans down and wraps her arms around his waist, making herself comfortable between his legs, chin resting on his chest as she looks up at him. “I’d try to match you all up with which spirit I thought represented you best.”

“Ah, an…interesting thought experiment.” Solas replies, trying his best to feign disinterest.

Lavellan shrugs half-heartedly, smile curling further across her face. “It staved off the boredom, and the cold.” She says as she digs her fingers into his sides to get at his attention.

Solas lets out what anyone else might describe as an entirely undignified yelp, snapping his book shut as he looks down at the woman currently using him as a glorified pillow. Instinct dictates he berate her – all be it gently – for such conduct in a place where anyone could see them, a remnant of their Inquisition days that he realises all to quickly no longer applies.

He catches the tail end of her laughter, soft and rich as she sits up again, legs splayed either side of his own, hands resting against his chest. He finds he misses her warmth almost as soon as it’s gone.

“Alright.” He smiles, and this time it reaches his eyes as he concedes. “Colour me intrigued.”

“Well, as I said- you were an easy read, vehnan.” She says as she leans down to press a kiss to the divot in his chin. Solas would deny it if asked, but he feels the way his cheeks heat up at how casually she preforms the gesture. “So was Cole, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Solas replies, recalling the young man fondly. “Who else?”

Lavellan takes a moment, tracing an idle pattern across the neckline of his shirt as she tries to remember. “Well okay, so- Vivienne always seemed like she’d be Command to me.”

“Makes sense.” Solas can’t help the way he huffs derisively at the mention of the mage, earning himself a playful smack on the shoulder that spirals them both into laughter again.

As Lavellan regains her poise above him she continues, “Josie…always seemed like a shoe in for Love.”

“Really now?” Solas asks, book relegated to the floor as he moves his hands to rest on her hips. “Not Cassandra?”

“No, Cassandra was always Duty.” She replies easily, as if the answer were obvious. Solas supposes with the amount of travelling they had done in the past she may well have considered the topic thoroughly.

“I see.” He nods softly in agreement, already invested in her line of thinking; in this little game she’s let him in on. “And what of our brave commander and cunning spymaster?”

“Oh, Honour and Faith, respectively.” She shrugs softly, shifting above him to ease the press of her knees into the plush of the cushions. Solas hums in thought as she does so, contemplating her words as his thumbs stroke softly across her hips.

“Blackwall…” Lavellan trails off for a moment, her brow quirking in the way it does when she’s deep in contemplation; in the way he loves so much. “Blackwall was Valour. But Thom Rainier is Justice.”

“Who else vehnan?” He asks, curious to see what she’ll say next. This time, he catches the mischievous glint in her eyes as she opens her mouth.

“Sera would be Courage!” The look on his face must have been clear as day, not that he cared to school his expression under these circumstances. “No-don’t look at me like that!” Lavellan laughs as she taps his nose with her finger. “You know I’m right!”

Solas makes a point of trying to nip at her finger with his teeth, feeling the frown on his face crack as she shrieks and giggles above him. He lets a long suffering sigh escape him. “I suppose-”

“Aha!” She shouts, and he feels himself pout. The look on his face only seems to spur her on, her giggling devolving into laughter again. He can’t help the smile that works its way onto his face now, despite his best efforts.

“Alright!” He laughs, grasping her wrists as she tries to dig her fingers into his sides again. “Alright, vehnan! Who else?”

“Bull- he’s Purpose.”

“And what of Dorian?”

He catches himself too late, the association between the two men spurring on his line of questioning before his brain can catch up with his mouth. Unusual for him, he thinks. Solas watches as her face falls a little, laughter dying on her tongue, her smile wistful now; no longer meeting her eyes as she stares just over his shoulder.

“Learning.” She affirms quietly, nodding to herself in conformation. Solas feels a pang of guilt settling in his chest, washing over him like cold water. She’d not gotten to say goodbye to her dear friend when she’d followed him into the Fade, something he knows she still isn’t at ease with. The feeling intensifies when he realises that there’s only one member of the Inquisition’s inner circle unaccounted for.

As he peers up at her, he sees the uncertainty work its way across her face. He moves to hold her arms, steadying her as their eyes meet again. They don’t need to say Varric’s name to know that’s both who they’re thinking of. Solas watches as she swallows around the lump forming in her throat, a tear pricking at the corner of her eye before he reaches up to wipe it away.

“Oh-vehnan, ir abelas.” He speaks quietly, like she’ some suddenly some skittish halla he’s afraid of spooking. She takes a steadying breath; deep into her lungs before she releases it all in one go.

“Perseverance.” She says, the waver in her voice lilting gently as she says it. “He’d be Perseverance.” She looks back to him in that moment, and he is sure that even if it takes him another thousand lifetimes he will never be done trying to make up for all he has put her through.

As she settles herself back down into him, he wraps her in his arms and thanks whoever will listen that she still finds him a source of comfort after all this time; even when the cause of her pain was inflicted by his own hand.

They lie together for a while, his breathing falling into tandem with the now steady rise and fall of her own. The silence between them is soft, lulling, and he almost doesn’t want to break it when a thought crosses his mind that he simply must voice.

“Hope.” He says softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“Hm?” She's drifting now, barely registering his words.

“You’d be Hope.” He murmurs. “Ma vehnan. My hope.”

[proosh]

post the meta op - @ludwigbeilschmidts (and tag me pls)

As requested, @ludwigbeilschmidts;

So it took me a bit to figure this out, but I've decided to approach this as a general analysis and brief overview from my perspective so you're going to have to forgive me for being a bit rambling lmao

(Cw for discussions of historical gender and misogyny)

One of the things that struck me when doing research that Prussia was, as a nation, pretty weird in its concept of gender. I’ll mostly be focusing on Frederican Prussia here because that has the most meat to chew on and is what I’m most familiar with:

Interpreting Gil as a trans dude (so much as the concept can be applied to an early modern context) puts him in such an interesting position re: the toxic hypermasculine chauvinism of the martial culture of Prussia, and especially the contemporary standards of manhood. Masculinity was a performance and a duty, and within Fritz’ personal circle it was explicitly homosocial, homoerotic, and homosexual — Fritz himself was a raging misogynist to the point he managed to alienate and offend potential allies into turning against him by being a crude and often cruel chauvinist.

It's an interesting point to note that FW1 (Fritz' father) and his brand of extremely austere, no-frills-attached masculinity was, as similar to "modern" misogyny as it is, an aberration for the time. In the 1700s masculinity was - at least in aristocratic circles - very much typified by "effete" homosociality, high levels of personal grooming and pomp, and a personal cultivation of interest in high arts and culture.

It’s that “performance” of masculinity that interests me re: HWS Prussia, and even if he were a cis man I do believe he would be operating under a sense of gender identity that would be foreign and register as “queer” to the modern reader. He’s a soldier so he performs his duty as is expected of him, and I feel like that echoes into the other elements of his identity: gender and sexuality.

Which brings me back to my preference for interpreting him as a trans man within the the context of what he represents and why I find it narratively fascinating and fulfilling — What does this mean for him? Where does Gilbert begin and end within the performance of duty and manhood of his nation? Does he find familiarity within the “effete”, homosocial structure of Frederican era masculinity, or does he prefer the later, stricter gendered lines? He knows he’s not a woman, but what makes him a man?

There’s something to be said about the contrast between the homoerotic manhood of the Enlightenment Era and the homosexual scandals of Imperial Germany but this post has gotten long enough already and I don’t think I’ve really said anything much at all in the first place.

There’s really so much to consider and I didn’t even touch on the neurotic and bizarre gendered fanaticism of the Knights (@makwandis would be a fantastic person to ask about this!), or the recurring Cassandras within Prussian folklore, the interpersonal dynamic of being Ludwig's creator (father, mother, brother), or the delirious genderfuck of the Weimar Republic. Maybe those posts will be written at a later date if people are interested.

Thank you so so so much for the ask, I hope I’ve managed to give you something to chew on, this is really one of my favourite topics ❤️

[disappointingcake]

“Bat or Wayne“

One scene in a recent WFA (when Duke grapnels up the staircase and the witnesses only response is “Rich people are wild”) got me thinking: how many identity shenanigans do the Bats get away with not because they’re ~so amazing~ at being discrete, but because the Waynes do something completely ridiculous everyone shrugs and goes “yeah, that tracks”.

Then THAT got me thinking: what if people do it all the time? To the point where it’s become an in-universe meme?

Bat or Wayne: Once base jumped from the top of Wayne Tower.

Dick Grayson-Wayne. (It was a charity thing. The Bats regularly grapnel from the top of Wayne Tower, but that’s different.)

Bat or Wayne: Has a library card for the Gotham City Library branch in Park Row.

Red Hood. (And he posted a pic on Twitter proving it.)

Bat or Wayne: Has a "the usual” order at the Diamond District Batburger.

Tim and Cassandra (Going to Batburger together every Friday is their weekly tradition.)

Bat or Wayne: Has a “the usual” order at the Dairy King on McNeil.

Batman and Robin (Though it’s been a different order for each Robin.)

Bat or Wayne: Is regularly called a “dickhead” by their siblings.

Nightwing. (The Wayne kids are actually very defensive of their eldest brother’s preferred nickname. [In public. Calling Dick a dick is a family-only privilege.])

Bat or Wayne: Every member can drive a motor cycle.

Trick question, it’s both. (Yes, even Damian Wayne, though he’s only allowed to drive on private property until he’s 17.)

Bat or Wayne: Is banned from every Red Robin in New Jersey.

Red Robin. (There was this one villain who tried to- look, it’s a long story.)

Bat or Wayne: Is banned from every Red Robin in California.

Tim Drake-Wayne. (He was there for a conference and- look, it’s a long story.)

Bat or Wayne: Is banned from every Waffle House in the United States.

Spoiler. (They even have a picture of her posted in every location with “DO NOT SERVE” on it. No explanation has ever been given, by either side.)

Bat or Wayne: Can do a quadruple sommersault.

Dick Grayson-Wayne again. It was the signature move of the Flying Graysons, and is an acrobatic feat that can be achieved by only a few people in the world. No Bat has ever been documented performing one. [*cough Tim cough*]

Bat or Wayne: It’s a running joke for their siblings to put on sunglasses when they show up.

Duke Thomas. (He is, quote: “The sunshine child.”)

Bat or Wayne: Got caught by mobsters trying to smuggle exotic animals out of a bad situation.

Ironically, the Signal and Damian Wayne. (Apparently, Damian had snuck away during a field trip to an animal shelter to “liberate” some neglected parrots. The Signal was investigating that particular shelter for exotic animal smuggling, and Damian got caught up in the commotion.)

Bat or Wayne: Calls their adopted father figure “B”.

It’s both again. (And yes, it’s as adorable as it sounds.)

10/23/23 edited for clarity

[streets-in-paradise]

The Good Guy

American Horror Story:Hotel, Chucky and Supernatural crossover fanfiction - Part 2 

Masterlist

Word Count  8.719

Characters (main): Andy Barclay, Cassandra/ Val ( AHS Hotel OC), James Patrick March. The Countess ( mentioned), Chucky (mentioned). There is also a short contextual appearance of Donovan and Iris. 

Warnings: This includes references to some of the fictionalized versions of real life serial killers that this season of AHS portrayed in Devil’s Night. None of them show up as characters, but their passing by the hotel is mentioned. 

Relationships: Platonical: James and Cassandra’s bond as father and daughter. Initial hints of development for her friendship with Andy. 

                        Romantical: James March x Elizabeth “The Countess” (James’s one sided obsession with her), Donovan x The Countess, Donovan x Cassandra ( mentions to a past of unrequired love on her part.) 

Summary: Andy follows the trail of Chucky to Los Angeles, dragged there by the news of mysterious deaths happening around the production of a horror movie. The search takes him to the Hotel Cortez, where he checks in following the stay of potential victims of the killer doll. 

There he will find himself unwittingly trapped between the opposed interests of the hotel’s owner and his daughter in a new game being played over his free will. 

Notes:  In this I’m picking up the original concept for the first Child’s Play film regarding the doubts about Andy’s innocence and I made a little reference to the origins of Chucky’s full name. 

Also, I’m in the process of rewatching Hotel. The last time i watched it was like in 2018, so I apologise in advance for any mistakes regarding details of the season’s plot. I do remembered the greek mythology references that James did on his speech in Devil’s Night and that was a great inspiration for this, March loving classic literature feels canon to me. 

Tags: @mysticaldeanvoidhorse​ @losersclubisms​ ( I don’t know if you would want to be tagged, but i’m showing you this like a child who shows an ugly draw with excitement lol) 

Hotel Cortez - 2004 

Cassandra wasn't able to think of anything else because guilt wouldn't let her. That sharp feeling in her chest that she thought forgotten was striking again. An emotion meant for children in the world she lived in, if there was such a thing as childhood for any kid in that place. Growing up was embracing apathy, resigning to the triumph of evil. After all, who was she to expect otherwise? From all the macabre things populating that hotel, her existence was one of the most unholy. Like her brother, she could be judged as an abomination, an infernal experiment who shouldn't have existed. Many times she has heard that from the spirits of dead hunters who rejected her post mortem help, some of them after getting themselves killed for ignoring her advice. 

Bartholomew didn't count with her same luck because he came before her, at a time where their parents weren't fully aware of the infinitive possibilities in the world of the occult. Death showed James the way, but it took decades for him to realize the unlimited potential of his power on that limited territorial space. He was a gatekeeper for Hell, everything he would desire would be granted as long as he would fulfill his task... and what he once wanted was another child. A girl, since he and his wife already had a boy. A princess for his castle, a little thing to play family with from time to time on the sporadic dinner visits of the Countess to him, a bridge between them to keep her close. 

Self awareness wasn't his strength and he liked to face his eternal life as a ghost under the delusion of having a happy marriage with a vampire woman who actually despised him, but who also happened to love collecting children to satisfy the maternal desires in her. Hell granted his wish and he got her, a daughter given to him without conception. A witch, her special nature making her irresistible for the mother to grow fond of due to the peculiarity she represented among her children. Their marriage was broken beyond repair, but sharing her gave James an illusion of improvement that was close to happiness. 

Despite everything, Cassandra still loved her family and that was the most twisted aspect of her situation. The differences in her nature were the primary factor creating a distance between their ways and hers. Living there was hard for someone with her gifts, it implied a sharper perception of the darkness surrounding them. She learned to block to some extent the suffering of the prisoner spirits only after years of hard work with a very powerful witch that was consulted to help her talents flourish. However, that differential sensitivity experimented during a good chunk of her life setted a precedent in her personality. For as much as she would wish to block it as well, she developed empathy. 

Then more than ever, it was biting her in the ass.

The Cortez was receiving a new special guest, another unlucky bastard who checked in without knowing that he would be selected to become James' new project. His obsession continued after death and his primary hobby was manipulating chosen targets into the making of a serial killer capable of following his legacy and finishing his unconcluded work. He never pushed it on her, he didn’t feel like doing it because her existence fulfilled a different need. Besides, getting to see the development of her particular talents was enough to make him proud of her as a parent. 

Over the years, Cassandra observed many individuals come and go from the cursed corridor leading to room 64, most of them not remarkable enough to reach fame because only the worst of the worst would hit the headlines. With her name as fate, she pointlessly tried to warn many of them about the manipulations they would be being submitted to, as she also would do later for their victims about to be killed when there was no more hope on that front. Her words would inevitably fall on deaf ears and she would remain as a powerless observant of people running with excitement to their own demises. James liked to see it as a game to play with her, a way of bonding. In his point of view, it was a strategic game of influence. His lovely girl represented good while he was evil, both playing for the souls of selected mortals like a delightfully offensive biblical parody. He loved it, the minor challenge created by her irruptions made things more exciting. Being the caring father he considered himself to be, he was always there to comfort her on each defeat. The results were mostly in his favor, victories for her were extremely rare. 

Two years before, after the death of Aileen Wournos, she decided to drop it out of inconmensurable hopelessness. That woman wasn’t one of the persons she tried to warn, she was too little at the time of her stay. However, perhaps because she was the only woman in that elite group of killers and she had vague memories about her that were rather depressing, her case had an emotional impact on her. 

The warnings to the living stopped, she began to focus more in blocking the mourning spirits instead of helping. After two full years of staying at margin she believed herself ready to embrace apathy, to become careless once and for all.

Until he checked in to wake her up of her delusion. 

The new guest was a sweet,shy man named Andy. They were around the same age, both being in their early twenties, and she felt an immediate connection with him. 

Unfortunately, James picked him for himself on the spot. 

A short peek into the room confirmed for him that he arrived armed to the teeth. The lack of any magical protection tokens disqualified him as a hunter, so he guessed that the young man was a killer of his own kind preparing his spree. James was very excited, but his daughter disagreed with the choice regardless of the evidence. Andy was quiet and sometimes even a bit awkward, but he wasn't Jeffrey Dahmer. 

There was no depravity on him, no repression of obscure desires of a similar kind. He was sad, living in fear, and his darkness was closer to a depressing paranoia. Her readings of him pointed him as the survivor of some tragedy and her personal guess was locating it in his childhood. He had the blatant lack of security of someone who never got to feel sheltered and safe, who never got to be a child. 

In the course of his days there, she began to become obsessed with him. He was a good person, a kind man in an unbearable amount of emotional pain that he wouldn't or couldn't share with anybody. Imagining what her father would make of him became intolerable to her and she was feeling the inmintent urge of protecting him. 

Guilt and a tenue light of renovated hopes forced her back on the game. She liked Andy with his sweet awkwardness and his kindness making her feel good in his company at every little meeting they would get. 

Even if he wouldn't listen, she was going to warn him.

It was past midnight, the worst hour of the place was getting closer and she had to find him before some horrible vision could disturb him. On the search she accidentally stumbled across Donovan. A mistake of the rush, since she usually tried to avoid him as much as possible because she didn't want more troubles. Things weren't at their best with her mother and it was partially because of him. 

She wished he could just pretend he didn’t catch her, but he wasn’t going to let things go that way. 

“ For how long are you going to keep ignoring me? It’s getting boring, Cass.“ He commented, cutting her any route of escape for that talk as he began to walk beside her. 

 " I have time to get over it, but that doesn't mean that I'm forgiving you. " She replicated, forcing eye contact for an instant just to prove that she was perfectly able to stare back at him." You humiliated me. " 

His expression had a certain amount of disbelief. 

" It was a natural reaction, I was surprised." He excused himself. " I'm curious... Did you really think that you could have had a chance with me? Did I actually break your heart, is that why you ignore me? " 

" You are still alive because I allowed it, dad wanted you dead. " She clarified, reconquering her pride. " I told him that it would be pointless. You aren't worth the pain, you are already dead and ready to stay here for an eternity. Turning you into a ghost only changes your species, but you would be the same asshole." 

" Are you a daddy's girl now? Is that why you changed me for that loser?”  Donovan teased, mocking her weird obsession with Andy. " It's so sad, you must be so full of spite to do that. I don't want to give you hopes for saying this, but you are too pretty for him. You will never be The Countess, but that doesn't have to push you into looking so beneath your league. " 

Cassandra didn’t care to dissimulate her annoyance and proceeded to cut him off. 

" You are ríght, I will never be her. I found you interesting because I used to think that you were something more than a vain,entitled manchild. She knows who you are and wants you like that." She snarked back with satisfaction. " ... Goodnight, happy hunt. Take care of those fangs and try not to stink of blood afterwards. " 

She was going to follow her intended path, but one last snark of his stopped her tracks. 

" You say that I'm the manchild, but he is the one who came here to pick up his toys. " 

" What the hell are you talking about?" 

" Your good guy is too messed up in the head. " He explained, almost laughing at his own punchline. " I catched him stalking those guys from the studio like a total creep. What's your deal with him? Did you have a massive standard drop after I rejected you? It's frankly offensive to see you moving on from me to that freak. March's newest creep, seriously? And he is not even cute, you could have replaced me with someone who fills my shoes. " 

" I don't owe you any explanations. If you think that the only reason someone can have to care for anyone else is that, then that is your problem and I'm the one who should feel sorry for you. It's not my fault if she taught you that when she rescued you.” Cassandra concluded, letting go for the first time an impression of a point that she knew that could hurt him. " I do think that Andy is cute, by the way. He may not be a model looking dude like you, but he doesn't need it. He has his own thing going on, very cute." 

" He is a ridículous nutjob. Hasn't he told you yet that killer doll bullshit he has been saying to everyone? " 

He didn’t, but she had already heard commentaries about it coming from the ones who got to hear him. She even catched him once talking about it with Liz at the bar and switching the topic the moment they saw her. Knowing that it bothered her, Liz tried to cheer her up that time claiming that he wasn’t comfortable with telling her about it because she must have been the only person in the hotel whose opinion he cared about enough to worry about sounding crazy. 

" The guys he creeped? He told them that Chucky was going to kill them because of some movie their studio was making. By the way: Chucky is a doll.” Donovan continued, understanding her silence as a need for context explanation.” He asked every single alive and dead person of the staff if they may have seen it, he even came to me doing warnings of the great danger he thinks we are all facing. The stupid asshole thinks that the doll is doing the killing here!!!" 

Strong chuckles coming out of him forced the telling to be interrupted for an instant. 

" ... A freaking doll!! It's hilarious, we all should thank March for picking one of the funny weirdos this time. " 

She didn't find it funny. 

" You are a vampire, I'm a witch, we live among an infestation of ghosts, we are ruled by one and do I have to mention the Addiction Demon? How can anything sound crazy to you? " She complained. " Andy is a mortal trying to make sense with this cursed place, he will evocate for it the craziest things. Don't be a dick just because I don't find reasons to be skeptical. Many forms of magic use dolls, voodoo being the most known of the list." 

" C'mon, nobody can take him seriously! Can you imagine it? Chucky, a little doll with his little feet and tiny hands chasing someone down the hallway? Holding a knife? Strangling someone? It's a fucking joke. " 

“ What is your explanation then?” 

" He has been killing for years, but he isn’t conscious of it and March is going to wake him up. I wouldn't grow fond of him if I were you. " 

It was a warning out of kindness, his way of proposing a truce, but Cassandra prefered to believe in her own self imagined theory. It was easier for her to imagine Andy as the víctim of some voodoo curse than thinking that he could be yet another serial killer with an alter ego symbolizing childhood. Chucky the doll couldn’t be another Pogo the clown, there had to be another explanation. 

The descriptions that Donovan made didn't disencourage her. Killer doll thing aside, Andy's heroic behavior was indisputable. His first instinct to the perceptions of the paranormal activity surrounding them was wanting to help people, warning them of the danger. Reckless, but incredibly kind hearted. That was who Andy was, a clumsy but well intentioned guy whose will to help could often surpass his preservation instinct. 

A genuinely good person, the rare kind that was worth fighting for. 

After a moderately desperate search, she found him in the corridor that led to his room and he was a mess. Sat on the floor with his back against the door, he was crying out of impotence and confusion. 

" No,no,no.." She rushed to comfort him, sitting beside him and not minding for anything else. " Darling, what's wrong?" 

Andy replied without daring to look at her. 

" It doesn't matter, you wouldn't believe me. No one does. " 

The resignation in his tone as he tried to control the sobbing in her presence hitted her hard. She had been there before. 

" Don't say that, lovely. I will, if you tell me. I promise. " 

The softness of her voice and the real caring that was easily perceptible in her were tempting him to do it, but he was afraid of being open and honest with her. 

" You will leave if i tell you, it wouldn't be the first time that happens. " 

He still refused to look at her and she began to stroke his hair in a calming way. 

" What if I tell you that I can see things that most people can't?" She wondered in an affirmation, with sweet excitement. " I have been called crazy before, I can tell many things that you wouldn't believe. " 

Andy remained silent for an instant before feeling the courage to talk.

" I heard screams, followed the sound and there was this man... He was stabbed everywhere, bleeding out in front of me and then .. he was gone. " 

The disturbed emotions dificulted the telling, but she had a vague idea of what he saw. An echo, ghost trapped in the infinite repetition of the moment of death. The description made her think that he could be one of the main sacrifices of Devil's Night. Dying in such horrible and confusing circumstances often turned them into the most confused spirits of the place. 

"People always come to die here, that's not something we can stop. This place can not be destroyed,only closed, but a power greater than us needs it open. The man you saw could have died years ago. " She tried to explain to him without alarming him even more. " Most hotels are haunted in some way. Some more, some less. I have struggled with horrible visions my whole life. It ruined my childhood. " 

Andy dared to shyly look at her and she smiled for him. It was her way to show him that she was fine. 

That time, he was who felt called out in her sayings. 

" Do you believe in ghosts?" He asked, a vague startpoint to check if the feeling that he was getting from her was correct. 

" Of course, there are good ghosts and bad ones. Spirits used to be people, their world is as diverse and complex as humanity." 

" How about when a serial killer dies?"

The opportune question was on point for the warnings that she initially intended to give him. She felt as if he would have read her mind and replied with clear thoughts she had about her father and his friends, the merryly cursed group that Andy was about to be guided into joining. 

" The ones bringing death to others are usually the most terrified about their own deaths. It's tables turning, karma or whatever. The only thing that scares them more than death is the police arriving." 

He let go a little chuckle, cute despite the context. It was like both knew more about the topic than what they were willing to confess to each other. 

" So, you believe that those can choose to stay because they like to keep hurting people. " 

" Because they are scared. " She corrected him. " Even the most disorganized are creatures of habit, but death shakes everything they knew before. It equates them with their victims, reminds them that they are human. Plenty of serial killers enjoy believing themselves above the rest of humankind, they think that they are stronger because they dared to break the barriers that civilized morals establish for what is human. Death leaves them in the same hopeless condition of the people they killed, strips them from clinging to that delusion. It's the moment of truth and not all of them can take it. " 

He was watching and listening to her in awe. With each answer he felt a bit closer to his first chance of being understood without proof. His hopes were being nurtured as hers. 

" Are you a medium, a True Crime researcher or what?" 

" Neither of both things,something in the middle. I know way too much about dead seríal killers to not be called crazy. " She pointed out, teasing her own confession. " Also about a few who are still alive, but we are occupying ourselves with the dead ones now.. Dead serial killers and their smart haunting mechanisms to avoid facing their final judgements." 

" Like, for instance... Possessing a doll ?" He asked what he meant as an affirmation, excitement changing his semblant to the possibility of finding someone who could believe in him. " Do you think that can be a thing?" 

" ... Or possessing entire buildings, like this hotel. " She added, fearing afterwards for the awkward switch. " ... But yeah, dolls too. Why not? The dark spirit can be a minimalist. " 

At that point, everything encouraged him to continue. 

" Do you believe in magic? Not card tricks, witchcraft. " 

" Yes, I do. " The witch innocently confirmed, still not ready to come out to him as what she was. " Do you want to know something more? I believe that there is a fascinating and dangerous correlation between serial killers and magic. " 

" No way!!! Really? " He exclaimed with evident enthusiasm. " Please, explain it." 

"The majority don't accomplish shit, but lots of them fantasize about controlling some form of mystical power. I guess it is part of their delusion of being exceptional. There are tons of examples: Richard Ramírez and his obsession with satanism, Jeffrey Dahmer and the zombies. He used the means of a mad scientist, but the ends were essentially magical. What he would have needed to fulfill his twisted dream was some good old voodoo or greek necromancy. Things would have been far worse then. It's terrifying, thinking about what a maniac can do with the ríght book. “

" It’s horrible. " Andy followed her, the validation obtained on their talk was priceless. It was more than what he ever expected. 

" Did you come across one, Andy? A maniac who found the ríght book? Is that what you hope to find here? " 

He gave her an avoidant reply, 

" What do you know about voodoo?" 

" Not much, but I can start researching for you."

They remained silent, subtly staring at each other before bursting into laughter. Incontrolable chuckles shared in the non addressed happiness of being listened to. Out of sudden, Cassandra huged Andy as if they would have known each other for a lifetime. He didn't see it coming, but allowed it because it felt nice. 

The support of a stranger who wouldn't have any reasons to believe them was precisely what both weren't expecting to find on each other. His truth isolated him from anyone new he would try to approach, while she remained somewhat in service of the hotel because she could only share hers with the perpetual residents. 

 Where else would she feel understood, if the only life she knew was there? Who would want to be with her, if the only connections she had could be counted among the obscure creatures of the hotel? She believed for so long that there was nothing left for her outside, only loneliness and eventual death by the hands of some hunter that would get to her with ease without the dark protection of the Cortez over her.  The moments of connection felt with someone from the outside were enough to reanimate the questioning, to make her doubt everything.

The exactitude she had in the following of his trail of thoughts weirded Andy a little bit, but he was more amazed than scared. He had spoken with tons of other unaware people before, but that never happened. She proved not only to be willing to believe him, but also formulated a correct theory by herself. Was she more aware than what he believed her to be or simply crazier than average? In any way, he was feeling grateful for the non asked support found so atypically. 

The blissful moment ended with an interruption. 

" Get up, sunshine. You have work to do, if you still want it. Room 37." Iris told the girl, ignoring the context with certain disgust. 

Cassandra stared back at her to show that she understood the true meaning of her ask. 

After that, her attention was back on Andy. 

" I loved to have this talk with you. " She softly told him. " Not many people would bother to listen to me, my ideas are too strange for most. They don't get that living here for so long is what shapes them. Experience teaches you to keep an open mind everyday if you live here long enough. "  

Andy gave her an awkward smile while he clumsily stood up at the same time she did. 

" Rich people are too skeptical, I guess. " Was all he could manage to answer. " It was great, thank you..." 

" ... Cassandra. " She finished, reminding him of her name because he was getting nervous. Probably ashamed while watched over by Iris, who seemed to be surveilling their interaction with tattling interest. " You are welcome, Andy. Sweet dreams, you need to rest. If someone or something bothers you let me know. Don't be afraid of coming to me. It doesn't matter how crazy it would sound to you, I will believe you. " 

He avoided her glance before replying. 

" ... I will. Thank you, Cassandra. " 

She gave him a kiss on the cheek as part of her goodbye before following the very impatient woman. Andy watched her from afar, still struggling to process what happened, and returned to his room. 

What he found there almost ruined his mood because of the off putting weirdness. There was a man in front of his improvised desk, sitting on his chair and reading all his gathered information about Chucky. Notes,newspaper articles from past murders and the current ones he was trying to connect to him, some very few police reports he accomplished to get. He was calmly revisiting everything as if he intended to do the work for him, like if they were in some sort of partnership. 

They had met before, a very polite man of high status who used to frequently stumble across him. They would even involve in some talking every time because he was just that much friendly and eccentric. 

He had no idea how the man of strange accent and vintage clothes entered his room. 

" Andrew!!" He saluted him with his usual formal cordiality, abandoning his readings. " I took some liberties to check on your efficiently cataloged work. I hope you don't mind my intromission, dear boy." 

"... I would like to know who gave you my key." 

The recrimination didn't bother him in the slightest. 

" Nonsensical details distracting you from the truly important matters. " He simply replicated. " I must say I found this fascinating except for just one aspect: the signature. It's bizarre, reputation damaging. We will have to start working on finding something better for you, more frightening and mature than those hideous dolls. It was understandable for your developmental years, but It isn't functional anymore." 

"... That is private, you weren't supposed to read it. " Andy complained, trying to dissimulate his annoyance and the lack of understanding he had over most things coming out of him. 

" Is this Charles Lee Ray your lifetime's inspiration? You seem quite obsessed with him." He casually wondered. " The Lakeshore Strangler was frankly mediocre. Over the same decade he was completely outshined by the Night Stalker. I understand that he operated in your home city, but he is unworthy of your devotion. There are greater things in your future, you will triumph where he failed!" 

Andy couldn't or didn't want to understand what he meant, so he limitated que to thank what he interpreted as aware encouragement. 

" Taking him down is all I have wanted since I was six. " He explained as part of his attempt to make him head out of the room. " I appreciate your good intentions, Mr March, but I don't feel comfortable allowing others to get involved. I work alone." 

His listener interpreted his words equally wrong. 

" Only six years old.... Astonishingly young!!” James commented, marveled. " You are a prodigy, It would be my pleasure to guide you in a complete exploration of your potential."

He almost forgot how fed up with that place he was. All Andy needed to do was wait until Chucky would show up to kill the guests from the studio that intended to make a movie about him, but it was taking more time than all the previous deaths surrounding the production. 

No signs of him, but an imminent feeling of constant danger caused by the impression of being surveilled. Chucky could be everywhere or nowhere and he had no way to know. Despite what Cassandra told him about the shade of a man he tried to help, the stabwounds said otherwise to him. She may have seen a lot of ghosts, but she didn't know Chucky like he did. The thought of his very much hated old plastic buddy coming to get her became unbearable to him. 

" If you want to help me, keep an eye on Cassandra. The Countess doesn't seem that worried about her daughter, but if you are an old time resident, she must trust you." He asked, unaware of being talking with her father. " Keep her safe, it wouldn't look good if I do it. I would come to her as a stalker and she wouldn't trust me anymore. Make sure she is okay, it is important. She has been so sweet to me, if anything happens to her..." 

" That girl is the light in my eyes, I love her as much as I love her mother. " March clarified, slightly pleased to hear him praise her. " Count with it, there is no need for your heroism. Not at least in the current sense of the word. " 

Andy was feeling progressively more confused. 

" I'm not a hero. " 

" Yet, you are not, but you will be." James introduced another one of his philosophical rambles about literarian iconography. " Do you know what being a hero used to mean before cristian knights and saints co-opted that term? ... Exceptional, remarkable, a conception disprovisted of any moral valoration. A hero used to be anyone who dared to perform acts beyond mortality. A man beyond humanity, not a holy man.” 

" I appreciate whatever you think you are doing, but I don't care. " 

" I'm trying to teach you a valuable lesson. " March insisted. " Think, for instance, of the classical heroes. Each one of them formed a reputation through certain abilities and an específic code of conduct that implied the committing of inhumane crimes. Achilles was the fastest and most brutal, known for the horrendous malice of his vengeance over the corpse of Hector. Odysseus was the most intelligent, his mind plannified the prolific genocide of the trojans. Heracles was the strongest, but he was also known for being the murderer of his entire family. Then we have the House of Atreus: child sacrifices, antropofagy, incest and parricide." 

" I don't see your point, sorry. " Andy cutted him off, visibly tired and confused. 

" Villains were an invention of cristians, being a hero used to mean becoming able to perform acts against nature. Exceed the limits of humanity and be worshiped or feared in the memory of the people. To leave your mark in history, become a legend. " James concluded the explanation. " You are not like everyone else, Andrew. Your exceptionality isolates you because you are not meant to belong among them. Fame, glory and immortality is what awaits those who are brave enough to leave humanity behind. " 

The intricate speeches weren't feeling good to him, he got the sense that something was wrong.  Even if the girl didn't get to make her warning, she helped him to spot a manipulation tactic. March was repeating what Cassandra said about the hopes and fears of serial killers. Andy didn't guess ríght away to be in the presence of one, but the resonation of words kept him alert. He understood vaguely that she was subtly warning him not to trust in that man. 

He believed in her. If Iris wouldn't have pulled her away, she may have seen it herself.

She headed to do what she was told to, but she would have prefered to receive the news from Liz. Talking in the way with Donovan's mother was awkward, especially because she had her own interpretation of what she saw. 

" You have been very busy with that boy lately. " She pretended very badly to comment casually. " It's a good move. Dono will value what you had if he sees you with someone else. It's a shame that you two aren't close anymore, you were his best friend here." 

Cassandra avoided answering in order to watch over her own energies for the tasks she had to do. 

Unfortunately, Iris saw it as encouragement to keep insisting. Using a particularly complicit tone in that next try. 

" I know how you feel for him. The Countess is just using him, but you love him. Maybe he would miss your love if we make him believe that someone else has it. " 

The young witch was trying hard to keep the emotional balance, but the woman made her too angry. 

" Of course, it was you !!! Who else would be eating his brain with that crap?? Stop, Iris. I'm not spending time with Andy to make Donovan jealous."

...But it would be a good idea if you would, a mother knows. He will make it look like he doesn't care, but he will be upset. " 

" You don't do what he did to me to someone you care about. “ She tried to explain to her. “He was in all his ríght to reject me when he found out, but he chose to do it in the cruelest and most humilliating way. Whatever I thought I felt, he killed it. That compulsive need to prove his loyalty to my mother was more important to him than showing basic care for me at the time of breaking my heart. " 

" I'm sure he didn't mean it, maybe he wasn't thinking about it. " 

" You don't understand. I never expected him to reciprocate, I knew he would never be mine and I was fine with being his friend. All I would have expected of him when finding out my feelings was a softer reaction. I wanted him to let me know of the obvious without hurting me: a shoulder to cry on, a nice speech saying that he didn't feel the same but still loved me as a friend... Anything but what he actually did. He laughed at me, Iris, and the entire hotel found out. I felt like the most worthless piece of trash, I don't know what would have been of me if it wasn't for Liz." 

" Where was your mother in all of this?" 

" That is not the point. I was so wrecked that I ended up listening romantical advice from dad... Do you know how terrible his advice is? He tries so hard and i love him, but he thinks that murder is a viable solution for everything. " 

" Thank God that you don't follow his criteria. " Iris commented, with relief. " Isn't he...?"

" Planning the murder of Donovan? " The girl followed her. " Nah, we got a better idea. I will be practicing my most witchy cackle for when mom would eventually dump him. When he will be destroyed by the heartbreak I will get my revenge. Dad called it ‘ the way of Paris and Oenone’. The question may be how many decades it will take, so we started making bets. " 

" That heartless bitch is unbelievable... What kind of mother chooses her vanity over the happiness of her child?" Iris kept ranting, deviating the conversation into her object of hate. " It even feels like she enjoys having won the competition against her twenty years old daughter. " 

" It was never a competition because I never tried to compare myself with her. " Cassandra clarified. " Stop excusing him. We all know that she is a bit of a bitch who loves to generate irresponsible emotional dependency on others, but Donovan had the choice of not being a jackass. Trying to manipulate me against my mother as if I wouldn't know who she is will not help you. " 

" I want to help because I believe he is too blind to see that he could be happier with you." 

" You are deceiving yourself because you think that Donovan could fall for me and the effect of what you perceive as my good influence over him would help your cause. " Cassandra cutted her off. " You blame my mother for your problems, you think that if we get together he is going to suddenly see you as the best mother on earth. That is not going to happen, don't force it because you are making things worse. "

" I want the best for both of you. You are a sweet girl who has loved him for years, such a devoted daughter to your mother and that bitch abuses of the gift that you are. " 

" Iris, I'm not what Donovan wants. In any case, I'm the daughter in law that you want. " She kindly tried to explain to her. " It's flattering, it shows that you appreciate me in some way, but it's going to lead nowhere. Please, just... Stop. "

In a more sensitive approach to what would correspond to Iris’ intrusive attitude, Cassandra finished the clarification by holding her hand in a calming way. Her intention was to show her that, even when she sounded angry, she was able to understand the root of her frustrations and wasn’t truly upset with her. All she needed was for her to see that her attempts of helping were creating more damage, she didn't want to make her feel bad about the unresolved tensions with her son. 

After that, the girl proceeded to make her point. 

“ Andy has only one picture on his nightstand and it is of his mom, Miss Evers saw it and asked him about it. You should have seen how radiantly happy she was when she came to tell me her findings.“ She commented pretending the same casual approach Iris faked with her but making it on purpose for her to notice the irony. “ From what I could figure out from her, his mother raised him alone. She must have faced the struggles you had in your time. This boy’s childhood wasn’t easy, something or someone back then broke him in a way I can't still deduce. He still loves his momma and doesn't blame her for the tragedies in his life.” 

Iris wasn’t adding any remarks, imagining the blatant adoration the maid ghost must have imprinted in the tale. In life she had been another lonely mother in a judgemental time, but her luck was worse than hers because she was doomed to eternally mourn a lost child who was killed by a sadistic kidnapper. If the implications of the anecdote were right, talking with that boy must have been a sweet comfort for her as the troubled soul she was. 

“ I tell you this not because I want to guilt trip you, but to help you see why Andy matters so much to me. “ The girl concluded. “ He is a good guy, I can’t give up and let my father destroy all the goodness in him. “ 

They reached the hallway leading to her destination in peaceful silence, no more words were needed in order to find a mutual understandment. Only while standing in front of the indicated door Iris spoke again in a reminder for her to be careful in the approach of the matter that needed her. It was a moderate spiritual cleanse of the room after a murder, something she would do because purification rituals were impossible to practice there. Her attempt of making a kind reception for new ghosts, to help them come out of their initial lethargy in a less violent awakening under her guidance. 

After that, she was ready to spend the night awake digging in her humbly self built magical library trying to find the right reference to put together the puzzle that Andy brought her with his question. Voodoo and dolls were the main clues, but she was a bit lost about the part including the serial killer ghost. The only use of dolls in voodoo that she was aware of wasn’t fitting with the vague description she got from him. It would make sense as a method to kill victims without leaving evidence, but she never heard of techniques for doll possession in the soul transferring sense. That was more proper of a haunting, an inaccurate word that could be somewhat used to describe how James stayed in the hotel after his suicide. There were many non specified details that wouldn’t allow her a clear comprehension of the case: In which degree was the possession manifesting? Was the doll a conduct like Annabelle,the possessed Raggedy Ann doll once claimed to be the tool of a demon? Was he an animated object providing a lifeful body for his occupant, what in the slang of exorcists would be called a ‘vessel’? Turning a lifeless object into one would surely require particular magical assistance to work while regular hauntings didn’t take more than anger or confusion. The ‘how?’ in that theory was the part driving her insane. 

Answers weren’t easy to find, but she wasn’t giving up. With the puzzle solved Andy would have no option but to share the whole truth and then he would connect some missing dots for her. They needed to get there and she needed to put in the effort if she wanted to make him trust her for real, because he wasn’t going to raise his walls easily. The creativity to come up with a solution was there, but trying to find anything useful was a nightmare. All she had about voodoo were vague references in texts that weren’t about the topic. From all the infinite forms of magic that she could be reading about, Andy asked her about one of the most hermetic circles of witchcraft existing in the country. Even satanism was easier to research without access to the right people. She was getting frustrated and unexpected intromission made it worse. 

Her father, deck of cards in hand, appeared as if he would be inviting her to give up. 

“ Your disturbed humor is making me sad.” James commented, concern in his voice and a genuinely loveful tone. “ Don’t waste more of your time, my dear. There will always be another one for you to claim and this amount of involvement you are delivering is hurting us both. We can play plenty of other games together: Chess, cards … Would you join me for a hand? “ 

She raised her head, abandoning her reading to stare at him with annoyed disbelief. 

“ I’m not in the mood for cards, dad. This isn’t a game anymore. Not for me, at least.” Was her strongly determined reply. “ He will never be yours, I’m not going to allow it. I will get him out of here even if that means I will have to carry him out myself.” 

James was mixing the cards with a playful attitude while standing close to her desk. He wanted to make her feel better, prepare her for what he saw as a crushing defeat with possibilities of getting her hurted. She let it get personal to a dangerous limit, her care for that boy wasn’t a simple humanistic reaction. 

Emotional attachment, a terrible mistake. 

“ Something has changed in you. I’m not blind to your misadventures, but never before you reached such desperation to protect any of my chosen ones. There is no amusement for me in your pain and you shouldn’t be suffering for this young lad. He may be gifted, but he is unworthy of you. Your fates will never tangle: Andrew is a nobody and you are my daughter. From darkness you were made for me to become my joy and I'm not willing to let him steal you away from me.” 

It shouldn’t have surprised her to find out that he reached the same conclusion Iris did, because as a parent he adored her in an overwhelming way. 

“ I’m not in love with Andy… What the hell is wrong with everybody here?” 

The answer seemed plausible to him. 

“ I’m dead, darling. Not stupid.” He added, with skepticism. “ I can feel it crushing your heart. It may not be the love meant for lovers, but you love him and that is a problem.” 

There were no secrets between them, not at least on her part. She didn’t mind being honest about her feelings and thoughts about him in the way she interpreted those. 

“ He listens to me, no matter how crazy I sound to all the other outsiders. I feel that Andy understands me in ways no one else ever did. I want to find out, but everytime i’m close to do it, it slips away from me.” 

He was smiling at her, as if the reasons given were very typical of her and he was happy to have got at least one guess of parent right. 

“ … Cassandra, my splendid princess. “ He praised her, the adoration in his voice was comforting to some extent. “ When your mother agreed with me in the discussion of the name we were going to give you, we never imagined you were going to embrace it so foundly. All I wanted was to name you after a mystical lady from classic literature to honor your exceptional nature. “ 

“... The argument was between three final options:  Medea,Cassandra or Morgana.” She completed the rest of a story she heard him tell thousands of times.” Mom chose Cassandra because, despite it being Greek in origin, it sounded Italian to her. “ 

“ Mortals will hear only what they are ready for, you are cursing yourself assuming that obligation. “ He followed her, using the metaphor with her name to make a point. “ Not that you aren’t radiant enough for a god to curse you out of unrequired feelings. “ 

The obvious joke made her chuckle. 

“ Stop it, dad !” She playfully thanked him while trying to get serious again. “ You would understand why I do it if you could feel things in the way I do. Do you think about how much time of training I needed to be able to sleep without depending on mom’s special blessing? You know it well, when I was a kid she had to sedate me with her charm so I could find peace at night. It isn’t easy for me, papa. Even now, things don’t get better. The very same people who ignore me in life come back begging for my help in death and they are very loud.” 

“ Rowena is a special guest always welcomed here, we can request her help again.“ 

“ I can’t control my compulsion to warn the living because I am emotionally affected by the pain of the dead. “ She insisted, trying pointlessly to explain herself. “ She helped in everything she could, but she can’t fix the way I feel. I don’t need you to understand it, i know you can’t but i love you anyways. The thing is that, for some reason I don't know, Andy gets it. “ 

Listening to her with attentive carefulness made him feel reassured in the imperious need of disappointing her. It needed to be done, regardless of the outcome of the game. In the best case for him, the man would come out as a killer by himself and she would be devastated. In the worst, if she was ríght and the darkness in him wasn't enough to be turned into pure evilness, he could be giving her a hopeful purpose to abandon the hotel. 

He would kill him before letting that happen. If what his princess wanted was a new friend, he would give her one to keep forever. 

Still uncertain about having to get that far, he proceeded to make the calculated entrance to disappointing her of him.

" Andrew is obsessed with the Lakeshore Strangler, a non-transcendental name operating in his home city when he was a kid. It is a long date issue, the origins are placed past his sixth birthday. It can't be a coincidence and I have reasons to believe that he already has some victims on his count.  It wouldn't be the first time that happens, many of my associates don't come here to commit their first murder. For instance, Jeffrey did his first experiment long before our meeting. " 

The comparison made her incredibly angry. The rage in her eyes indicated to him that the comment crossed the line.

" I knew that you were going to do this!! Is it because of the shyness and military background?  Stop projecting crap on him, Andy is not who you think he is. He is not some awkward pervert like Dahmer and Chucky isn't like Gacy's Pogo. Call me naive, call me crazy ... I don't mind it, I believe in him. " 

Rushing to rectify the verbal mistake, James still kept the same intentionality. 

" Fair enough, my dear. I may have chosen an imprecise example for my statement, but that doesn't exonerate Andrew from all he has been hiding from you. " 

He handed her a piece of paper conveniently stolen from the room in his late night visit to the fed up man. It was a news article about a supposedly accidental massacre that happened at Kent Academy, a military school. Despite it was declared an accident, the facts implied massive red flags for a shooter.

" Most of the deceased were in his class. " Her father explained to her while the  girl read in avid shock."   Doesn't that remind you of someone?" 

Cassandra didn't reply, she didn't want to remember that boy. 

" If that ghost deceived you once... Why wouldn't this lad?" James insisted in an ambivalent  tone inviting doubt. " You need to be protected from your kindness. It is my responsibility as your father to save you the suffering. "

She couldn't speak because she couldn't think her words right. Thoughts were getting blurry as tears started to flow. 

James pretended to close the issue summarizing his interpretation for her, not wishing to upset her more. 

" Mr Barclay has a peculiarity absent in all of my previous attempts. He is a guideless killer who proved himself willing to continue the work of someone else. A mediocre inspiration, but one he follows with obsession... Charles Lee Ray, that petty burglar of Chicago. He would have had better luck following Charles Manson, at least he was one of my students." 

The out of place joke awakened her of her own desperation induced lethargy. 

" CHARLIE!!! A six years old would have called him Charlie!!" She screamed to herself, looking legitimately crazy at the moment of the epiphany. " If the doll would be a representation of Charles that little Andy imagined as his killer menthor, he would be a Charlie, not a Chucky. No kid would think of naming a Charles Chucky before Charlie. Manson is the most famous Charles and those who wish to nickname him call him Charlie. CHUCKY IS A SELF GIVEN NICKNAME THAT THE FUCKING BASTARD USES TO DIFFERENCIATE HIMSELF FROM MANSON!!! " 

Her hopes were unbreakable. Her father was astonished to see her finding one new stretched reason to believe in that stranger. 

" Watch your language. It's not proper of a lady to swear like that. " He reprimanded her before going back to his point." I fail to see how a nomenclature difference can be enough justification for you... Cassandra, you are making yourself blind to everything but what your visions of him dictate. "

She stared deeply into his eyes after cleaning her face. Her eyes had the challenging fire of someone who would be ready to die defending their truth. 

" I believe in Andy because he believes in me. " 

There was nothing that could be done, his daughter was determined to insist in that stance. 

 " If that is your verdict, then I can't save you the pain. " He concluded. " The least you can do for me is postpone this vain search for explanations until tomorrow, since I already gave you a name to start over from a different angle. Isn't that more than what you have obtained so far?" 

She knew he was ríght and she didn't mind admitting it. 

" Ask Miss Evers to make us some coffee and we can go to your room. I'm not tired enough to not play cards with my father." 

" Splendid !!" He exclaimed, showing a happy enthusiasm that he typically reserved only for her and her mother. 

They made him happy, but the young witch wasn't fully aware of how important her company was for him. It was her reason for existence, or at least one of the main ones he found to wish for her. He only had one night per month to be with his wife, but his daughter was available anytime he required it. Keeping her was a priority, even if it would imply the sacrifice of his new pawn. 

His guilt or innocence on past crimes mattered very little. His only options would be learning to kill for him or perish on the negatory to make sure that Cassandra wouldn't follow him out.

[twnflaem]

an independent, selective and low activity multimuse hexed by evie. this blog may hold triggering content but will be tagged. Minors, racists, homophobes and personals dni.

temp rules and muses under the cut:

001. Hiya, my name is Evie, I’m 27 and live in the EST timezone. I use she/her pronouns. If we’re mutuals feel free to add me on discord at numb little bug#0055. Independent, private, and mutually exclusive Multimuse. I am in no way affiliated with any actress/actor or any media represented on this page. I do own all the headcanons / divergences on this page however.

002.  I will tag triggers as trigger tw, if I post something that is triggering to you and it is not tagged, please message me nicely and ask for it to be tagged. Nsfw / graphic content can ( and most likely will ) be present on this blog. Violence, explicit language, blood and sexual themes. everything will be tagged accordingly.

003.  This blog is oc friendly, but please do not just assume my muse knows yours unless it would make sense for them to do so or it has been plotted beforehand.. All I ask is that you have a bio/bullet points up so I can get a feel for your muse and decide if we’d mesh together or not.

004.  The only issue I have is with sup/sub, as it hurts my eyes straining to read such small text. Aesthetic does not matter to me, if I can see us roleplaying I don’t mind if you don’t format at all. Length of replies don’t matter as long as you give me something to work with but please do not give me a one liner if I write one or two paragraphs. Please for the love of god cut your posts as well.

005.  I prefer my writing partners to be at least 18, but I prefer 21+! I will not follow blogs that are under 18. I am a slow replier, I try to work with a queue to keep things going while I can’t seem to find the time to write. Please do not rush me for replies.

006.  My ask is open to mutuals only. I prefer memes to starter calls, so more likely than not the easiest way to roleplay with me is send a meme and we can go from there. So if you're thinking of sending the meme, do it.when it comes to ship-related memes, and you’re worried I'll be upset if you send it because we’ve never interacted ( or never discussed a ship ), please send it! I don't see this as forced shipping. I see it as an opportunity to test a dynamic. the only way to know if there’s chemistry is to take it for a spin.

007. credits go here. 

008. I do not follow first! Few exceptions will be made but for the most part I want to write with those who follow me! So don’t be afraid to yell at me and tell me you wanna plot or write once we’re mutuals!

MUSES: 

Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars Samantha Fraser - Fear Street Steve Harrington - Stranger things Harley Quinn - DCEU based Hope Mikaelson - Legacies Landon Kirby - Legacies Harry Hook - Descendants Toni Topaz - Riverdale / Archie comics. Walter De Ville - the Invitation Cassandra Myers - Sebastian’s lost love - Sydney Sweeney Dick Grayson - DC / Titans Bonnibel “Bonnie” Bubblegum - adventure time Marshall Lee Abadeer - adventure time + more tba I’m sure. 

[the-ice-reapers-art]

WELP! Here I am, late to the party, but oh well! Better late than never, right? But yeah, after a few months of putting this off, I finally do a ref sheet of my Balan Wonderworld OC; Opal! Put her bio under a "Keep Reading" cut to keep the post small ;u; Also please keep in mind, I might update the bio on a later date if needed! so if you think I missed something or need to fix something that seems odd, feel free to let me know! ((also yeah, no backstory for her yet, I'm still working on it! QQ)) Opal (c) Me

Name: Opal

Former human name: Cassandra Windfall

Nickname(s): Stagehand, Op, Cass (old nickname, by a younger Balan), little mouse (by Lance), Miss Silver Eyes (by Balan)

Wonderworld Name/title: ???*

*it’s been a long time since she’s used that name-- currently, only those who’ve known her for a long time know what it is.

Age: 3,002

Primary job in Wonderworld/backstage: Costume Creation and Repair

Abilities/skills:

Costume designing/creation - The name says it all! Using the Positi Needle and Wonder Thread, Opal is able to create costumes based around the visitors that enter Wonderworld. -She’s also able to repair costumes and even modify them (if needed)

Costume destruction - Rarely used, but if a costume becomes too corrupt with negativity (or a particularly rowdy/aggressive visitor gets out of control while in a costume), Opal is able to use the Negati scissors to quickly destroy a costume– Opal hates this ability.

Stagehand Jack-of-all-trades - Given there are only 4 ‘stagehands’ who can actually enter the wonderworld ‘Backstage’ (Balan and Lance being obvious exceptions), Opal has to take on a number of other jobs to help out her fellow stagehands– The main one she helps with is stage maintenance.

Light steps - Given her job requires her to move around stages undetected, Opal and the other stagehands are able moves around as quickly and quietly as a mouse.

Speed of Descent Regulation - Sadly, unlike Balan, Stagehands do not have the ability to fly around at will. However, they can control how fast or slow they fall (similar to how Steven Universe can– except theirs isn’t based on their emotions like Steven)

Thread n’ Needle - While in their normal state, Opal’s needle and thread can only mend and create costumes. However, should the situation call for it, Opal is able to use them to fend off Negatis– or capture visitors that wander too far from their stages. - Funfact: Wonder Thread can only be broken/cut by Negati scissors, making it hard to escape once tangled up in it.

Quick Costume changes - Using the gem and key she, and all stagehands, wear at all times, Opal is able to quickly change into any costume at will.

[More abilities and skills might be added or adjusted later!]

Bio: [To Be Added on a later date~!] All I can say about Opal's backstory, for now, is that she was once a human before being ‘reborn’ in Wonderworld like all of the other stagehands!..... In terms of the other Stagehands…. There use to be a lot more…

Now there’s only four…

Funfacts:

Besides Opal, the other 3 ‘stagehands’ in Wonderworld are James (whose primary job is maintenance for both stages and the train), Cor (Who is mainly in charge of stage design, stage lighting, and carpenter), and Ivory (who is in charge of musical directing and Choreography). I might draw them at a later date!

Opal is ambidextrous

Opal– like other stagehands– resides in her own stage when she isn’t working (These stages are what the stagehands had when they were human and visited Wonderworld). These stages are tucked away deep within the ‘Backstage’ of Wonderworld so visitors can’t get to them. They are all inhabited by the stagehands’ old costume representatives and other costumes.

Opal’s stage is a fairly big lagoon surrounded on all sides by cliffs and forest, with one waterfall, one opening that leads out into an ocean, and a pirate ship anchored in the middle of it. Opal’s room is a small cave hidden behind the waterfall.

Opal’s old costume Representative is the “Dreamy Siren”-- based on what Opal imagined Sirens to look like when she was a child (it also appeared in a dream when she was a child too) [[I might draw the Dreamy Siren on a later date!]]

The little sun, moon, star, and cloud on the string of Opal’s sleeves help her and the other stagehands control the appearance of the sky and weather in Wonderworld–they don’t use them often since Wonderworld can manage its own sky, for the most part, lol, they only use them if something goes off with the sky suddenly (I.E. the moon disappearing randomly, suddenly rain, ect.). All stagehands have them on their sleeves.

Opal is actually very talented at playing the violin! Some nights, when Balan and Lance are either away or sleeping, she will sneak onto the main stage and perform for Tims and her fellow stagehands.

Opal is an avid collector of books relating to fairy tales, fantasy, adventure, ect. Anyone who enters below deck of the pirate ship on her stage will be met with a small library full of the books she’s collected over the years.

A very long time ago, there used to be a time when a human deemed worthy by Wonderworld had the chance to be reborn in Wonderworld-- those who were chosen were close to the maestros of Wonderworld; like one big family...That all changed after the…Incident occurred… That's all of her bio for now! Hope you enjoy!

[antivano]

The Ultimate DA: I OC Questionnaire.

Hi DA fandom! I’m seven years late to the party. A few years ago I whipped up this huge DA: I questions template and never released it but I figured why not. It’s got 22 parts and almost 200 questions, free to be modified to your liking for other websites as long as there’s credit. It’s very packed and full, and is all located under the cut. I would strongly recommend copy pasting everything underneath the cut and turning it into your own post (please like/reblog if you do, and tag me in it if you want to!) for your own ease, but you’re welcome to just reblog it and fill it in from there.  Without further ado, the ultimate DA: I OC questionnaire. Enjoy! 

THE ULTIMATE DA: I INQUISITOR QUESTIONNAIRE by @antivano.

Basics. 1. 1 Introduce the Inquisitor! Name, age, race, gender, sexuality, birthday, class.   1. 2 Any reasons for these choices? Are they named after anyone?   1. 3 Are they happy with who they are? Do they wish they had a different name, another gender or race, wish to be born with/out magic?   1. 4 Does your Inquisitor stick to canon origin stories, or did you change it to fit your story? I.E is your dwarf Inquisitor a mage, is your “rogue archer” Inquisitor secretly a mage, etc.   1. 5 Do they have any artistic, singing, dancing talents? Anything that stands out? Any hobbies?  

Appearance. 2. 1 Give a detailed description of what they look like, or add a picture!   2. 2 How do they view themselves physically? Do they believe they’re attractive, or have low self-esteem? Is there any one particular thing about themselves they wish they could change?   2. 3 What about mentally? How do they view who they are as a person? Do they believe they’re a good person? Bad? Do they like or dislike who they are? 2. 4 Do they have any scars, and if so, how and where did they get them? Why were the wounds not healed with magic? Any tattoos or piercings? If they have vallaslin, what colour is the ink? At what age did they get it and what does it represent? Do they regret any of those choices?   2. 5 If they have vallaslin, how did they feel about learning the truth behind it?   2. 6 Which voice out of the four options do they have, or do you have a voiceclaim for them? What about faceclaims?  

Personality and views.   3. 1 What kind of person are they? Give a detailed description of their personality. Are they friendly, broody, quick-tempered, impatient, etc? Flaws and strengths?   3. 2 How do they view other species/races? 3. 3 How did they react to suddenly being in charge? Are they a natural born leader, or are they waiting for the first chance to escape?   3. 4 Does their personality change during the events of the game? How so?   3. 5 What is their opinion on magic, templars, seekers, apostates, blood mages/blood magic, the chantry?   3. 6 If a non-mage, do they have any former templar training? How did they get into it?   3. 7 Any political views within Thedas that stand out?   3. 8 How do they view the countries of Thedas? Do any of their views stand out as noteworthy? How do they view Tevinter and the controversy surrounding it?   3. 9 How do they feel about the fall of Arlathan and the Dales? Do they hold all humans accountable? If dalish, does it hurt to think about, or is it so far in the past that they’re detached? Does their opinion on these things change upon learning what truly happened to Arlathan?   3. 10 What are their religious views? If dalish, how do they react upon learning that the Old Gods were just powerful mages? How do they feel about them being locked away? Do they feel abandoned, betrayed, angry? 3. 11 What are some of their favourite things in all of Thedas? The ocean, baby nugs, the colour silver, rainy nights? Any reasons?   3. 12 What is their greatest wish, hope, dream? What is their greatest fear? How do these things affect who they are?  

Skills.   4. 1 What was their fighting skill like before they were sent to the conclave? Did they know how to fight, or were they thrown into the fray?   4. 2 How does this improve during their time in the Inquisition? If a mage, do they have any knowledge of how to use swords, daggers, or bows? Were they self-taught?   4. 3 How do they deal with combat? Do they drag it out, hack and slash, or get it over with as fast as possible? How do they feel about death and killing? Was their first kill during the Inquisition, or have they killed before that? How did they cope with it?    

Backstory.   5. 1 What’s their backstory?   5. 2 What were they like as a toddler, child, teenager, and now as an adult? 5. 3 Any traumatic or noteworthy incidents that have stayed with them? How did they cope with it?   5. 4 What is the greatest tragedy that has ever happened to them? How did it shape who they are? 5. 5 Do they know the Hero of Ferelden or anyone from Origins? How and when did they meet? Do they still keep in contact?   5. 6 What about Hawke or anyone from DA2? If so, does Varric know that Hawke and the Inquisitor know one another?   5. 7 How did they feel about being sent to the conclave? Did they volunteer or was it forced upon them?   5. 8 Are they happy with where they come from? Do they wish they had a higher or lower standing in society? Have they run away, or wanted to?   Family.   6. 1 What are the names of their parents? Are they living or dead? What are or were they like? Does the Inquisitor have a healthy relationship with them?   6. 2  Any siblings, nieces, nephews? Tell us about them.   6. 3 Any children that the Inquisition does or doesn’t know about? Why do they keep their children a secret, if so? Are they mixed race? Where are they now, who do they live with? How do they feel about their parent being named Herald of Andraste? If none, does the Inquisitor want children in the future? Talk about them here. 6. 4 What was their family home like growing up? Did they stay in one place or move around a lot?   6. 5 Who is the Inquisitors closest friend? How did they become friends? Was it always a happy friendship or was it enemies-to-friends? How has it evolved or crumbled during the Inquisition?   6. 6 Is there anyone they aren’t on good terms with? Anyone they can’t stand? Either individual people or organizations (Red Templars, etc). Why so?  

Romance.   7. 1 Did the Inquisitor romance anyone from the Inquisition, or were they solo?   7. 2 When did they first begin to have feelings for their love interest?   7. 3 Was there a break up? Was it permanent, or did they rekindle? Are they still friends?   7. 4 How do they feel about their relationship? Is it serious, or fun?   7. 5 Do they fight often? What is it most often about?   7. 6 Are they a flirt?   7. 7 Do they want to marry their love interest, or is it not on their mind right now?  

Misc.   8. 1 Do they have a favourite place in all of Thedas? Is there anywhere they’d hate to be?   8. 2 Do you have a playlist for the Inquisitor? A theme song?   8. 3 Do they carry around anything significant to them that has sentimental value?   8. 4 What languages can they speak? Were they self taught?   8. 5 Have they ever been arrested outside of the conclave explosion? If so, what was it for? How long was their sentence? Did they escape or were they let go?   8. 6 Have they ever been drunk? When was their first time being drunk? What are they like being drunk? Do they get any hangovers or do anything they regret?   8. 7 Are they addicted to anything? Have they tried to stop? How does it affect their stay in the Inquisition?  

Pick Your Party.   9. 0 Who does the Inquisitor most often bring with them on quests? Do you pick this based on who they’d want with them, or who you as a player needs at the time?   9. 0. 0 Do you make decisions based on your Inquisitor in a roleplay sense, or do you make decisions based on what you as a player wants?   9. 1 What were their first opinions of the companions and advisors?   9. 2 How does their relationship with them change during the game? Have they grown closer or further apart?   9. 3 If allied with the mages, does the Inquisitor and Dorian share a bond from being trapped in a destroyed future together, or were they able to brush it off easily with no impact?   9. 4 Did they help Blackwall find the Grey Warden objects? Did they go out of their way to find them, or was it just right place right time?   9. 5 Did they help Cassandra hunt down the missing Seekers? How did they feel about finding out the truth of the seekers and tranquility?   9. 6 Did Cassandra rebuild the Seekers?   9. 7 How did they react to Cassandra’s love for Varric’s books? Did they help, or tease her? Have they ever read Varric’s books?   9. 8 Did they help Dorian hunt down Venatori agents? How do they feel about the Venatori?   9. 9 What happened during the events of Dorian and his father? Was the Inquisitor supportive?   9. 10 How does the Inquisitor feel about Mother Giselle?   9. 11 Did the Inquisitor become a Red Jenny?   9. 12 What became of Harmons? Did Sera kill him? If so, how did the Inquisitor react?   9. 13 Did they help Solas retrieve the elven artifact? Did they help Mirhis? Was there a fight for the amulet? 9. 14 Did they help Solas and his spirit friend? Was the demon killed by the Inquisitor? 9. 15 Were the Chargers sacrificed? Why or why not?   9. 16 Did they help Varric with the red lyrium, and with Bianca? How did they feel upon learning that lyrium is alive?   9. 17 Did they bring a real Snowy Wyvern heart to Vivienne, or a fake one? How did they react to Vivienne's beloved?   9. 18 How did they react to Cullen’s lyrium addiction? Did they help Cullen become clean?   9. 19 How do they feel about Krem? Have they ever met an Aqun-Athlok before?   9. 20 How do they react to Zevran and the Crows? Do they know anything about them? Do they keep in contact?

Finding a Safe Haven.   10. 1 What was their reaction upon being locked up? Did they immediately resent Cassandra (and/or Leliana) for it?   10. 2 Did they try to escape before reaching the breach? Did they consider killing anyone to escape?   10. 3 What was their reaction upon learning that they could seal rifts?   10. 4 What’s their opinion on Haven? Is it too cold for them, too loud, too quiet?   10. 5 What is their opinion on Roderick? What about other minor characters within Haven?   10. 6 Which path did they take to get to the breach? What was their reason? Do they feel guilty about the casualties of the other path?   10. 7 How do they react to being named the Herald of Andraste? Do they ask people not to call them that, or do they wear the title proudly? How do they feel about Andraste and the Maker in general?   Mages, Templars, Seekers, (oh my!)   11. 1 Did they choose to ally with the templars or with the mages? Why? Did they take their companions opinions into consideration or was their mind set?   11. 2 How do they feel about the conflict? Do they think it’s time the mages got their freedom no matter how, or are they staunchly pro-circle?   11. 3 How do they react to the templars and seekers going rogue? Is it a surprise?   11. 4 How does the Inquisitor react to learning of the plot to ally with Tevinter? Do they agree with it, or blame Fiona?   11. 4 How do they feel about Alexius and Felix? What was their reaction to Felix's letter? Did they trust it, or were they suspicious? 11. 5 Did they care about Felix's illness, or was it unimportant to them? Would they have tried to help him, if they could? How did they react to the events of the potential future?   11. 6 How did they react to meeting the King or Queen? What do they think of King Alistair or Queen Anora?   11. 7 How did they react upon gaining the support of the templars/mages? Were they glad to be surrounded by them, or did they wish to be as far away from them as possible? 11. 8 Did they want to relax, after gaining the support of the templars/mages, or did they want to celebrate?   11. 9 How did they react to Corypheus and Samson/Calpernia? 11. 10 Did the Inquisitor try to save as many people as possible? Did they feel guilty about the ones they couldn't save? 11. 11 How does the Inquisitor feel about being a distraction for Corypheus while Haven flees? Did they volunteer?   11. 12 How do they react to being lost? Did they walk until their legs give out, or did they want to curl into a ball of fear? How do they react to being found by Cullen and Cassandra? Did it change their dynamic with either of them?   11. 13 How do they feel about being chosen as leader of the Inquisition? 11. 14 How do they react to Solas telling them the orb is of elven origin?  

Skyhold.   12. 1 What are their thoughts on Skyhold as a whole? Do they get lost easily? Any favourite areas or areas that they’ve decorated?   12. 2 Do they change the appearance of Skyhold often with throne replacement or banner decorations? Does the Inquisition object to it?   12. 3 How do they generally judge people in trials? Are they lenient or brutal? Do they enjoy being a judge, or would they rather pass the responsibility to someone else? Do they visit prisoners? 12. 5 Any noteworthy trials?   12. 6 Does your Inquisitor generally use Force, Secrets, or Connections to complete War Table Operations? Why? What does the Inquisitor usually spend Inquisition Perks on?   12. 7 Do they have any pets? What mount do they most often ride?  

Phoenix. 13. 1 How does the Inquisitor react to Hawkes presence? Do they get along? Do they agree? Do the tales live up to the reality? 13. 2 Who is Hawke? Mage? Sarcastic? Did they romance anyone? Is their partner with them in Skyhold, or did they stay behind?  

Here lies my heart. 14. 1 Who is the Warden contact, and how does the Inquisitor feel about them? Have they met them before? Do they spend time with the contact at all outside of combat and quests?   14. 2 How do they react to the letter the Hero of Ferelden sends? Do they write back? Do the Warden and the Inquisitor then keep in contact?   14. 3 How do they feel about The Calling?   14. 4 What is their opinion on the Wardens? Did they know anything about them beforehand? Have they ever met a Warden before the contact? 14. 5 Would they join the Wardens, if they could?   14. 6 How does the Inquisitor react to Warden-Commander Clarel?   14. 7 Did they bring Blackwall along? If so, are they suspicious that he never heard the Calling? Does it raise red-flags?   14. 8 Did they intend to open a portal to the Fade, or was it accidental? 14. 9 How do they react to being in the Fade again? Do they have nightmares about it afterwards?   14. 10 Do they believe the spirit they encounter is truly Divine Justinia?   14. 11 How do they react to the revelation regarding the Wardens’ involvement in the Conclave attack? Do they exile the Wardens?   14. 12 What would the Nightmare say to the Inquisitor?   14. 13 How do they react to learning it was the Divine behind them in the Fade, not Andraste? Does it break their spirit, or are they relieved? 14. 14 What would be on the Inquisitors tombstone? What about Hawkes? 14. 15 What else do the Fearlings take the shape of, or are they all giant spiders? 14. 16 Who do they leave behind in the Fade? Any guilt or regret? Why do they choose this person? If Alistair or Hawke, how does the Warden or Hawke’s love interest react to their death?   14. 17 How do they respond to Varric if Hawke dies? Do they comfort him? Does it change their dynamic?    

No Rest for the Wicked. 15. 1 What is their opinion on returning to Orlais? 15. 2 How do they feel about the ball? Are they excited? How do they feel about the clothes they're wearing? 15. 3 Is the Inquisition confident that the Inquisitor will succeed at the ball, or is there a fear that they'll be kicked out within five minutes? Is the Inquisitor the belle of the ball, or do they barely scrape by?   15. 4 What happened during the ball? Any romance? Did they gather coins, secrets?   15. 5 How does the Inquisitor react to Briala? Celene? Gaspard? Do they agree with Briala? 15. 6 What becomes of Orlais? Who holds the throne?   15. 7 Does the Inquisitor dance with anyone?   15. 8 What is their first impression of Morrigan? Does this change during the events of the game? Do they spend time together? How do they feel about Kieran? Who is Kieran's father? Do they meet? How does the Inquisitor react to Kieran's parentage? 15. 9 How do they feel about the Orlesian Game? 15. 10 Are they a good dancer, or do they have two left feet?

Pride and Prejudice.   16. 1 Does the Inquisitor take the Pilgrim’s Path, or fight their way through? What is their reason for this? 16. 2 Does the Inquisitor ally with Abelas or Morrigan? How do they feel about Abelas? Does it change their view of Elves at all?   16. 3 If Dalish, does Morrigan's attitude annoy them at all? Do they confront her?   16. 4 Do they drink from the Well of Sorrows? Why or why not? If so, does it change them at all?  

Run, Kieran, Run!   17. 1 How do they react to the disappearance of Kieran? Are they worried? 17. 2 How do they first react to Flemeth, and then Mythal? 17. 3 If they drank from the Well, how do they react from discovering they are now the servant of Mythal? Are they fearful, determined to find a way out of it, or do they believe she holds no power over them? 17. 4 How do they react to finding out who Kieran really is?    

Hope Will Never Die. 18. 1 How does the Inquisitor feel about facing Corypheus for the last time? Do they feel confident? Do they believe they will survive the encounter? How do they cope with the possibility of failure? Are there any tearful farewells?   18. 2 How do they react to the broken orb? 18. 3 How do they react to defeating Corypheus? Are they relieved, unnerved? Are they in disbelief? 18. 4 If they drank from the Well, did the Dragon they mastered survived, or was it killed in the fight with Corypheus's dragon? How do they react to now having a pet Dragon? Does it serve them, or fly away after the battle? 18. 5 How did they feel about Solas's disappearance?

I Know the Mark Like the Back of My Hand. 19. 1 How do they feel about the Anchor? Is it sacred to them? Do they hate it? Have they tried to remove it?   19. 2 Does it hurt? How much? 19. 3 Does it control them, or do they control it?   19. 4 Can they do any fun tricks with it? 19. 5 Has it gotten them into trouble? (ex; glowing in a dungeon and alerting enemies)

Jaws of Hakkon. 20. 1 How do they react upon learning that they will be investigating the fate of the last Inquisitor? 20. 2 Do they gain an alliance with the Avvar? 20. 3 How do they feel about the Avvar?   20. 4 How do they react to Telana? How do they react to her Dreamer abilities? 20. 5 How do they react to discovering the truth of Ameridan? Does this change their opinion of history? If Dalish, how much does it affect them to discover that they were an elven mage?   20. 6 Do they vow to tell the world the truth, or do they continue letting people believe that Ameridan was a human noble? 20. 7 What becomes of Storvacker?  

The Descent.   21. 1 How do they feel about the Deep Roads? Did they find the scenery beautiful, unnerving? Are they afraid of heights? 21. 2 How do they feel about Valta and Renn? 21. 3 Did they believe in the Titans? 21. 4 How did they react to Renn's death? 21. 5 How did they react to the truth of Titan's? 21. 6 How did they react to being inside a Titan? 21. 7 How did they react to Valta using magic? 21. 8 ow did they react to Valta staying in the Deep Roads? Were they concerned for her safety? Did they send search parties to later look for her? Any headcanons of what became of her?

Trespasser. 22. 1 How has the Inquisitor changed in two years? What have they been up to?   22. 2 How has the relationships with the Inquisition changed? 22. 3 How has their love life been? 22. 4 Are they happy to get back into the fray, or annoyed? Were they hoping for peace and quiet? 22. 5 How do they feel about Bann Teagan?   22. 6 How do they feel about the people's wish for the Inquisition to be disbanded? Does the Inquisitor agree? 22. 7 How do they feel about the Qunari being involved? 22. 7 Do they suspect Solas of being involved, or does it come as a complete shock? 22. 8 How do they feel about the ancient elven city beyond the Eluvians? 22. 9 How do they react to finding out Solas is Fen'Harel? Did they ever have even a small hint or suspicion that something about Solas wasn't right? 22. 10 How do they feel about Fen'Harel in general? Has it changed their opinion of him?   22. 11 How do they react to their mark flaring up again? Are they angry? Do they become frightened? 22. 12 Do they believe that the fight with the Viddasala will kill them? Do they say goodbye to their companions? What about their love interest?   22. 13 How do they feel about Fen'Harel's plan? Do they agree with him or vow to stop him? 22. 14 How do they react to their arm being ripped off? How do they cope with it? Was it a relief to be rid of the mark? How do they adjust to life without it? Do they use magic to compensate? How does their love interest help them?   22. 15 Do they get married? How is their marriage? What was the celebration like? 22. 16 What becomes of the Inquisition? What was the reason for the Inquisitor’s choice?   22. 17 What happens after Trespasser? How is the Thedas looking? What are your headcanons?

[your-turn-to-role]

hi okay i hate sending asks to people without knowing them but you seem kind so im trying: during the break, i’ve been working my way through VM, and i’m at episode 75. my question, because i’ve read some of your more recent meta, is “what’s Percy’s deal?” i know he’s loved by the fandom, but i can’t find myself relating to him, and i find his assertions that he’s the only one with a plan offputting. is there more context you can give to me about percy’s character that explains his motivations?

aww, thank you!

(and yeah, asks like this are totally fine, i totally get that anxiety, good job on sending this!)

i mean, first off, you don't have to like a character everyone else does? if you don't relate to percy you can just, not relate to percy, that's fine

(and to be fair, as much as i love him as a character, i would not want him as a friend, because he's a very flawed person that has a lot to work on, but in fiction those traits are interesting to watch rather than difficult to deal with)

but, percy's deal! the short answer is people generally like him because taliesin's funny and charismatic and he does morally grey right, which is rare and a fun thing to explore (also in his relationships with other people, the entire vex-vax-percy-keyleth square is full of neat parallels and opposites and interesting things and i have whole essays in my head on all six combos there)

i don’t know which posts you’ve read so i’ll link this one here too, just to cover a couple more of the generally unnoticed aspects of his character, and things i like about percy

he’s also far from perfect, as you’ve noted, he does tend to believe he’s the smartest person in any given room, because he’s young and clever and used to being that, which you’re allowed to find off putting, but i will say i find he does that less than a lot of characters of his general archetype? he listens to pike, he listens to keyleth, he listens to vex, he respects when they have more knowledge than him on a particular subject, he’s not above asking for help. and generally most of the arguments he has with keyleth on that subject aren’t him asserting he knows more than her, but more a matter of principles and values (they’re a really interesting pair that way, they have similar backgrounds, both children of royalty running away from the crown, but they’re such opposites. percy is a natural leader who would rather anyone rule than him, keyleth fumbles her way through all of it but sticks to it because she doesn’t want to let anyone down, percy is a pragmatist, keyleth is an idealist, they both are too focused on the big picture but in two completely different ways, i could write a whole other post on this, but to get to my point, they wouldn’t be such good balances for each other if percy didn’t absolutely respect where keyleth is coming from)

for the long answer, i’m gonna break this down into parts and try to get to the core of percy's character and why he is the way he is

(under the cut bc this gets long)

1 - heavy trauma

like... this is the really really big one. percy, at age 17 or 18, had his entire life up to that point completely destroyed. his family was killed, his friends were killed, people he trusted like family (professor anders, who was a more present figure in percy's life than his actual parents) betrayed him and helped the briarwoods, he was imprisoned in his own castle's dungeons and tortured for information, they threw his siblings' bodies in there with him to make a point, cassandra helped him escape but as far as he knew she died helping him. he has two years of his life after that he straight up doesn't remember, his hair turned white from the stress of it. 

trying to go after ripley the first time didn't work, he was captured and left to starve in a prison cell, for the first few months of travelling with vox machina he genuinely believed it wasn't real, because realistically no one was gonna come save him, this was just a hallucination of his dying mind. returning to whitestone he was forced to confront the fact that literally everyone he ever knew growing up (with the sole exception of archibald) was either dead or working with the briarwoods, and even after retaking the city there's a lot that can never be repaired. 

and he's just... never really dealt with any of this? like, he gave vox machina the technical details of what happened to him in the briarwood arc, because they needed to know that information, but the first time he actually started processing his trauma, the first time he admits it out loud to anyone, is the final episode of campaign one. before then it had been occasional snide or handwavey comments, and like, he'll let himself feel the anger over it (in the beginning of the story he encouraged it, because then he didn't have to feel anything else), but he's never processed the grief, never admitted to himself how badly that affected him

which means he's got a lot of pent up emotions in there that he just keeps burying, and sometimes they come out in unhealthy ways. having so much taken from him also makes him really motivated to keep the things he does have - he’s got some deep set abandonment issues and takes any kind of betrayal really badly, don’t know if you’ve got up to the scanlan stuff by the time i post this, but that’s something to keep in mind as to why he acts the way he does there. (and it’s not more explicit because percy was raised nobility, keeping a brave face through anything is part of who he is, he tends to cover emotions he’s insecure about in snark or indifference or, for the intense ones, anger, because those are the things he thinks he’s allowed to show, but the real emotions show up occasionally, when they’re particularly strong, or if you’re reading between the lines. he really does care a lot about vox machina)

2 - legacy and loyalty. 

speaking of nobility, it's hard to do a character study on percy without mentioning whitestone and the house of de rolo. this is the number one thing to percy. he was raised to respect title and name, and most importantly, raised to respect the people he represents - both the townsfolk of whitestone and also percy's ancestors and future de rolo generations. whitestone is more important than any one life, he has a duty to protect and serve it, and that comes before any personal wants he may have. it's also important to him for family reasons - he was a pretty lonely child, but he loved reading about the history of the city, all the weird ghost stories whitestone had even before the briarwoods. it probably made him feel more connected to all of that, this is the place he belongs. and after his family dies, it becomes even more important, because this is his connection to them. the soul of a city lives as long as its people, by protecting what's left, he keeps a little bit of what came before

(and also in just tidbits to understand percy's character, he sees all cities and man-made things the same way - in a world where some races live for centuries or millennia, their history exists mostly by word of mouth, you can physically talk to people who were around 500 years ago and get their take on things - humans don't have that, they get 100 years at most, so the things they build are vital to their heritage. this is how you keep people alive long after they're gone, by honouring what they created. and especially for someone so concerned with legacy and history, percy literally says abandoning westruun would be blasphemy, because the place people grew up is important, yes it's better that they live, but letting the city be abandoned and destroyed would be an irreparable act of violence.) 

this is the number one thing on percy's mind when evaluating anything about himself, where do i come from, and what do i leave behind? which is a question that has a lot of moments to be tested, because of my next point...

3 - pragmatism and terrible thoughts

when it comes down to it, percy is a very ends justify the means kind of person. he finds it very easy to square away any kind of collateral damage as long as it gets him to his end goal. see: trial of the take, where he's fine to catch his friends in the blast radius of a new bomb design because he's so excited that it worked, preparing to fight vorugal and resigning himself to potentially having to kill innocent people to kill the dragon (he wasn’t okay with that, but he would do it), also his conscious decision to let ripley go, knowing she would lead to the deaths of thousands because it was her or the briarwoods and he wanted revenge 

(this is by his own admission his lowest point and worst mistake, because as mentioned, he thinks about the consequences of his actions near constantly, he knew she would reproduce his guns and they would lead to a whole new form of warfare. but in that moment he was just blinded by grief and way too emotionally burnt out and did not have the capacity to care. and he spends the rest of the campaign and honestly probably the rest of his life trying to make up for that one)

he's also, by his own admission, someone who has a lot of bad thoughts he doesn't act on, he's very clever and creative and ideas for ways to use those skills for violence or vengeance come easily to him (like, percy as an actual villain would be ripley but worse, ripley's intelligent but a very direct point a to point b kind of thinker, percy has multiple times criticised her lack of imagination, a percy with her lack of morals would be terrifying)

(honestly this is why i was seeing percy so much in taliesin's narrative telephone, because "sometimes i wake up having dreamed of a terrible thing, and normally i just file that away for things that i would never do, because i wanna maintain friendships, but then LIAM did something to me." and the whole being absolutely fine with throwing the rest of the cast under the bus just to enact revenge on liam was quintessential percy)

but we’ve seen the pragmatic anti hero everywhere, anyone can be a terrible person, and have reasons for it, that alone doesn’t make an interesting character (at least not for me)

what does, is my last point

4 - trying to be good

i still vividly remember when i first watched campaign one, being really surprised at how much percy asked for help? like, i went in expecting the usual full on demon possession storyline, i expected percy to hide how bad it was, i expected him to make poor decisions without realising he was doing it until he was in too deep to back out

and like, he had some of that. but at the first sign of things being out of his control, he asked his friends for help. he let pike greater restoration him. he told vax to kill him if things ever got too out of hand. he was really, genuinely scared about what he got himself into and what he might do because of it. there was never a point where he pretended, even to himself, that making a deal with orthax was okay. the minute he realised there was a demon involved, he was working to stop it. and yeah, by the time he realised it was already a bit too late, there were already some things out of his control (and also taliesin kept having the worst rolls against the whitestone corruption which was really fun on a meta level), which is how things got as bad as they did. but honestly, all things considered, there’s very little to criticise about the way percy handled himself in the briarwood arc. 

and he keeps doing that, trying to get better. he struggles with it, he struggles a lot, against his anger issues, against all the trauma, against the fact that he really doesn’t want to be here and things would be so much easier if he were dead. but he recognises he holds grudges too easily, so he starts actively trying to forgive those who’ve wronged him (this is something he and vex have in common, and something they were working on together before they were together, which probably helped a lot in getting them to that point as well). he recognises he makes poor decisions when he’s angry, so he starts learning to step back in those moments and leave the decisions to someone else. he has never not owned up to his mistakes, he takes responsibility for everything he’s done, and if he notices a problem he can’t solve himself, he asks for help.

and i find that fun to explore. like, percy’s been likened to hamlet in the actual show, and i was the kid who got super obsessed with hamlet when i was like 15 because i was in that same mental space of suicidal self hatred and existential melancholy but also thinking i was the smartest person in any given room and being too young to have gotten over the arrogance that makes you ignore everyone else’s needs for the sake of indulging your own problems. and then i got older and realised there are smarter ways to go about things, like having empathy and appreciating the light in the world and not being a dickhead to people because it makes you feel better, and maybe hamlet can be justified and in the wrong at the same time. and while there’s some stuff i won’t spoil for you, percy after ripley kills him is definitely starting to learn that, which you rarely see in the hamlet archetype, bc everyone’s like “ah yes so Deep so Important who cares what bad things this person did they had Trauma and are Clever”

well, percy cares about the bad things he did, and cares about not doing those anymore. so like, he’s still a disaster of a person bc he’s like 23 and no one has their life together at 23, especially not someone in percy’s situation, and honestly i find that fun to watch as well bc i like watching characters make stupid mistakes and do stuff i’d never approve of in real life, and as i mentioned at the start, taliesin makes captivating and funny characters. but yeah, that’s generally where percy’s at, most of the time

[smokeybrand]

He Gave Us The Signal

I’ve been giving Batman a lot of sh*t lately and feel like this gives the impression that i actually hate the character. I don’t. I actually really love Batman. His entire mythos is really the only thing i like about DC Comics. I find the way there heroes are represented to be unwieldy and too fantastical for me. I absolutely know how contradictory that sounds because, you know, comic books, but lets be honest; It’s a lot easier identifying with Spider-Man than it is Superman. Marvel characters, from the outset, were grounded in the real world. They were written like real people. I got into comics during the gritty Eighties so all of the comic companies were trying to reintroduce more grounded, grimy, fare. Indeed, my first Batman comic i ever read was the introduction of Killer Croc. The first Bat-book i ever purchased with my own money was The Killing Joke. That version of Bat,an is my batman and, while i have had a roller coaster relationship with the character over the last thirty years, dude remains one of my favorite characters to date. I just wanted to take some time and gush about what i love most in the Bat-verse. Just the comics though. If i included ancillary media like the cartoons, movies, or games, I'd end up writing an entire novel.

Cassandra Cain

I love Cass. Love her. I think she is the best addition to the Bat-Family, period. Aside from injected a bit of Asian representation into a mainstream comic with little to no fuss, her character is the most compelling one since Bruce, himself, to get that shine. Progeny of super-skilled assassin, David Cain, and one of, if not, THE best martial artist in all of DC, Lady Shiva, Cassandra is a one woman wrecking crew. She was hones as a living weapon since birth, for the sole purpose of brutalizing man. Cass is an AR-15 with legs. She is easily the best warrior, including Bruce, among the Bat-fam and yet, the most delicate. Watching Cassandra grow from a violent mute into the woman she was right before the New 52 was a pleasure. And then she was erased for half a decade. That sucked. However, her recent reintroduction as Orphan has been pretty chill. I like the relationship she has with Duke Thomas. I liked how she could feel compassion for someone like Clayface, even if no one else could see the same thing she could. I love Cassandra Cain, man. I loved her as the bet Batgirl. I loved her when she had her title snaked away and became Black Bat. I'm loving her as Orphan. I like what Cass has become so far. Here’s hoping they don’t f*ck her up going forward.

Knightfall

I actually really like Knightfall as a concept. I don’t much care for all of the other sh*t that goes on after the book, Azrael Batman was a mistake only redeemed by his White Knight revamp, but i tend to gravitate toward arcs where Bats is given the full-court press and Knightfall is one of the best. It also introduces Bane, a character i am rather indifferent to but still respect, as a proper force of nature. To this day, his breaking of the Bat has been a defining moment in the Bat-mythos, one that has lingering repercussions like The Killing Joke or No Man’s Land.

Damian Wayne

Damian took a few years to grow on me but i love the little dude. he’s like a mini version of his assault father and i love it. There is so much sass packed in that little kid, it’s ridiculous. That said, he is not to be taken lightly. Damian Wayne is child of Brice and Talia Al Ghul, through what can only be seen as a drugged rape at some point. We’ve seen this idea flirted with a few times, the first i can recall being Ibn Al Xu'ffasch from Alex Ross’ Kingdom Come. When i realized who that character was, i was shocked and intrigued. It felt like there was a ton of potential there and a proper missed opportunity for mainstream DC comics. A decade later, we were properly introduced to one of the best additions to the Bat-Family in decades. Not better than Cass, though. And, before you get at me about that super deepcut, questioning my Bat-cred and everything, yes, i am aware that, technically, a version of Damian exists in the main Bat-contnutity dating back to the Eighties. Son of the Bat is a thing that i acknowledge but that kid as never names and had no character so i prefer to think the 06 introduction is the real origin of Damian. Plus, kid got a pet cow. That sh*t is adorable.

Joker

I wanted to put Joker War here because that was the best Knightfall story I've read in years but then i hesitated because i realized how much i loved Endgame. And then A Death in the Family. And then The Three jokers. And then The War of Jokes and Riddles. And then Emperor Joker. and then White Knight. And then The Killing Joke. And then The Man Who Laughs. And the Mad Love. And so many more that escape me at the moment I'm writing this. I realized that it was Joker, himself, that i loved so much and for good reason. Joker is, quite literally, the best comic book antagonist of all time. He’s so malleable, evolving over the years with the times and trends, lending his distinct clown chaos to some of the best Bat-stories ever written. The ambiguity of his identity coupled with the fact that he knows Batman’s entire history is absolutely horrifying. The fact that he refuses to even assault Bruce on a civilian level because “it’s not fun” is absolutely contradictory and solidifies his position as pure, antagonistic, chaos for the Batman, alone. There is no Joke without the Bat and i love that dynamic so much. I love this character so much!

The Court of Owls

I really enjoyed this whole arc. Thomas Wayne Jr. The Talons. The whole clandestine cabal of elites, poisoning Gotham for their own gain. It tickles my tin hat sensibilities while being something that makes all of the sense for the cesspool that is Gotham City. The Court of Owls was easily one of the best narratives to come out of the overall abortion that was the New 52 and i appreciate Scot Snyder for bringing it to us. This narrative fleshes out a lot of underlying aspects of the mythos, gives a bit more agency to and intrigue to Dick, and allows for a myriad of potential stories where Batman is effectively pitted against Gotham, itself.

Jason Todd

I was never a he fan of Todd as Robin. At that point, it was just him and Dick, and Dick was a MUCH better character. In my opinion. I enjoyed his introduction, though. Snatching the rims of the Batmobile was kind of a brilliant way to differentiate him from goody-goody Grayson. If I was old enough to vote, I definitely would have voted to kill him way back when. Fast forward to his resurrection in Under the Red Hood, and I am hooked. His super edgy, Punisher-esque, vigilante justice is fantastic to see. Todd is understandably brutal, violent, and unforgiving. His solution to crime is a bullet between the eyes and that makes for the most interesting dynamic with his pops. More than that, outside of the Bat-family books, Todd is thriving. I love Red Hood and the Outlaws. The current run, not the original. Mostly his relationship with Artemis but I adore the big brother position he took with Bizarro, too. Jason Todd started out as a ridiculous replacement for a beloved Robin, got beaten with a crowbar then exploded, resurrected decades later to take on the mantle of the man who killed him, raved through Gotham on a one-man mission to destroy everything that was the Bat or Joke, and eventually settled into being the black-ops branch of the Bat-fam. I respect his growth as a character and I love his relation ship with Artemis to bits. That feels super right. That Trinity, the Dark Trinity, is my favorite and it absolutely has everything to do with Jason Todd's utter bad-assery. His new costume his sh*t, tho.

White Knight

I’ve literally wrote an entire essay, gushing about my love for this Elseworlds universe. You can search for that on this blog by looking up Bat Kino or White Knight to bring up my detailed fangasm if you’re curious but, in short, the White Knight universe is the best Bat-anything I've read in years. I really, really, liked Endgame but White Knight is so much more compelling a read, it’s hard not to give it the edge.

Harley Quinn

I’ve written in part about my love for Harley in my post about my disdain for Punchline. I love Harley, man. Watching her growth as a character has been a very real privilege. She’s been handled incredibly well by the writers at DC and watching her popularity grow over the years has been very refreshing. Harley always had the potential to be great. Her introduction in the Timmverse was one that sent ripples throughout the fandom so, when she was moved over to the comics, it made sense she’d be a hit. More than that, comic stories are free from the constraints of television censors and we saw an absolute evolution of Harleen over the next three decades. Harley went from being a lovesick whipping girl, locked in a violently abusive relationship with one of the worst psychopaths in all of DC, to a brilliant vigilante and trusted ally to the Bat-family I love that Harleen has found real love with Ivy, even if DC keeps shenaniganing that relationship. I love that she uses her PhD whenever she can. I love that she is one of the most complete, nuanced, and fun characters in the entirety of the Bat-fam. Harley Quinn is a real gem and one of the best things about modern Batman. Even is I do miss the old jester outfit.

There is, legitimately, SO much more I can reference because Batman has a very LONG history full of content to adore. Off the top of my head, Bat-Cat, Hush, Bluebird, We Are Robin, Year One, Damned, The Dark Knight Returns, The Long Halloween, Signal, Beyond, Gotham Girl, Thomas Wayne; It's like an embarrassment of riches. If I listed everything, I'd be here all day. Just Joker stuff, alone, is more than enough to fill several of these lists. I really, genuinely, love Batman which is why it's so seeing him written so poorly as of late. The climax to Joker War was excellent, I'll admit that, but the lingering issues with that OC Punchline chick taints that triumph for me a little bit. The idea of The Batman Who Laughs and the entirety of the Dark Multiverse is absolutely intriguing, but look what they did to my boy. They massacred my boy with all of this literal godhood nonsense. And don't even get me started on this Ghost Killer guy. I thought Clown Hunter was a little bit of a shark jump but this guy? Word? Batman is a great character with one of the best rouges galleries in comics (Spider-Man give him a run for his money) and one of the deepest, richest, histories to pull from. He is a character that has endured for eighty years and I know he's weather this panicked stunt writing as of late. I just have to remember the stuff I love and try to tolerate the rest. Even after taking the worst kind of hit, Batman always finds a way to stand back up.

[battlestar-royco]

updated faq

Round 2! I tried to shorten the answers so as not to be repetitive, and I also added new FAQs for your convenience. My past self who wrote my first FAQ annoys me, and this one is more thorough anyway, so here you go. I still can’t believe you all actually interact with me enough that I have to make one of these.

Questions up here, answers under the cut.

anti sjm basics

1. why are you an anti?

2. why are you specifically anti SJM?

3. do you like anything about SJM’s books?

4. terminology and practices

5. why do you hold SJM to a higher standard than other authors?/why do you focus on criticizing this one woman more harshly than you do men?

6. did you see what xyz stan did?

7. are you an anti for non-SJM stuff?

best of (in my humble opinion)

diversity and sensitivity

8. I have a question about writing and/or how to portray xyz identity...

9. can you please tag...?

10. is it okay if I like [x author]/[y series] even if I know they’re problematic?

11. what are your suggestions for aspiring authors who want to write diversely?

personal

12. is it okay if I message you?

13. why don’t you post about books/shows/movies you actually like?

14. favorites?

15. book suggestions?

16. are you a writer/what are you writing/do you plan on publishing?

17. is it okay if I follow you on other social media?

18. fandom research

19. when did you start your blog?

20. how did you decide your url?

anti SJM basics

1. why are you an anti?

I love thinking critically about the media I consume. Though I wouldn’t say I’m particularly “anti” any text or author, some people classify any criticism as “anti.” To respect people in the main tags, I post in anti tags so they don’t have to see critical posts. Otherwise, I love talking about positive, neutral, and negative aspects of books.

2. why are you specifically anti SJM?

The Anti SJM Manifesto

What made you turn into an anti? x x

Rowan/Rowaelin: x x x

The fandom: x x x x x x

3. do you like anything about SJM’s books?

Yes. I like a lot of SJM’s ideas, but I don’t like how they’re executed at all. I highly enjoyed TAB, TOG-HOF, and the witch storyline of QOS. My favorite TOG characters are Manon, Chaol, Nehemia, and Sorscha. Honorable mention for Lysandra, Kaltain, and Asterin. My favorite ACOTAR characters are Nesta, Lucien, and Tarquin. Additional links: x x x x

If you want my positive thoughts on certain SJM characters, look up: “anti sjm: [character name]” and you’ll find them.

4. terminology and practices:

Anti SJM Glossary. Seeing as many of us have had bad experiences with stans and in one case, authors, we censor names so our posts stay in our own tags.

What is soap dick? From August 2018 x x.

Manongate? when KOA came out, Charlie Bowater’s promotional art (x) depicted Manon as Asian. Here’s more on why that’s a problematic and lazy decision on SJM and Bloomsbury’s part: x x.

5. why do you hold SJM to a higher standard than other authors?/why do you focus on criticizing this one woman more harshly than you do men?

SJM alone out of all the biggest YA authors has yet to make craft improvements or display a social awareness similar to what I’ve seen from her colleagues. I give all authors an equal chance, but SJM’s writing and behavior has significantly decreased in quality compared to other fantasy authors despite her books being lauded as complex and feminist works. However, I’m not perfect, so do feel welcome to send me an ask if you think I’m being unfair.

The anti SJM community is focused on women because we all mainly read women. Critiquing women doesn’t mean we are unaware, dismissive of, or silent about the issues in men’s work. The “anti” movements for the likes of GRRM do exist, but under a different name than “anti”–there are thousands of critical meta blogs, book/TV critics and reviewers, Youtubers, etc out there who discuss his flaws in depth. I also have lengthy anti GRRM, anti GOT, and anti ASOIAF tags. Finally, I personally find critiquing and discussing women’s work a lot more interesting, productive, and empowering than doing the same for men, especially because my blog’s focus is on the YA author/transformative fan community at large.

About Leigh Bardugo: x x x x x x x

About GRRM (and GOT): x x x x x x x

About Tolkien: I've only read The Hobbit and a third of Fellowship of the Ring, and I’ve only watched FotR, so I don’t say much about him at all.

6. did you see what xyz stan did?

Probably not, especially if what they did was off Tumblr. I don’t look at stan accounts unless someone informs me that my posts or I have come up in conversation on their blog. Any specific stan urls in asks will be redacted both for their privacy and my own well-being. Stans have doxxed, harassed, and discriminated against antis, including myself, so I’d rather save us all the trouble.

7. are you an anti for non-SJM stuff?

I most often talk about SJM’s books, but I’ve also been very critical of GOT/ASOIAF. Following GRRM, several other YA authors have appeared in positive, neutral, and critical lights. On the more critical side we have Cassandra Clare and JK Rowling, and a very little bit about Victoria Aveyard, John Green, Maggie Stiefvater, Stephenie Meyer, and Veronica Roth. Otherwise, I’ve talked about Susan Dennard, Rick Riordan, Leigh Bardugo, and Marie Rutkoski. Check out my YA critical tag for more. I’m also down to discuss franchises like Star Wars, Fantastic Beasts, MCU, etc, as well as TV shows. Basically anything big in genre fiction media, there’s a good chance I’ve read/watched it and I have opinions!

best of

anti SJM

Are the Illyrians MOC?

Moral Ambiguity Series

Anti Nessian

Lucien or Rhysand?

Chaol or Rowan?

misc.

why are period dramas like... that

White Feminism

a beginner’s guide to fandom racism

diversity and sensitivity

8. I have a question about writing and/or how to portray xyz identity...

First and foremost, check my “writing advice” and “writing advice: poc” tags to see if the question has already been answered.

I am black cis girl with a dual degree in women’s/gender studies and creative writing. I will best be able to answer questions regarding black characters, women, racial oppression and identity as a whole, and most questions about queer characters. There’s a chance I can provide a basic answer to questions about demographics outside of these, but I’ll most likely advise you to ask another blogger or seek out sensitivity readers.

9. can you please tag...?

Yes. Just send an ask and I’ll tag anything. I’ve turned off all Tumblr notifications for this account so I probably won’t see tag requests in comments unless you comment within a day or so of the post.

10. is it okay if I like [x author]/[y series] even if I know they’re problematic?

Absolutely. I’m not the liking-things police and I can’t control whether you like something or not. There’s no such thing as an unproblematic author or unproblematic series, so you just have to like what you like at your own discretion and with a critical eye. As long as you’re aware of the issues and not denying or ignoring them, maybe even seeking out other people whose opinions add to the conversation, you’re good. It’s exhausting to be 100% critical but harmful to be 100% uncritical, so you have to seek out critics you like and figure out how to maintain a dialogue with the text and/or the author. The balance is different for everyone but once you find it, it gets easier to keep up!

11. what are your suggestions for aspiring authors who want to write diversely?

Concepts to be aware of and tropes to avoid: male gaze, the Bechdel test, the Mako Mori test, the sexy lamp test, fridging, Orientalism, xenoface (called “the Gamora Phenomenon” on my blog), black best friend, Spicy Latina, Dragon Lady, bury your gays, disability narratives, queerbaiting.

What not to do when creating a culture.

My advice about writing POC.

Check out these blogs if you like: x x x.

Follow as diversely as possible. Follow multiple blogs, especially writing- or fandom-themed blogs, run by POC (especially women and LGBTQ+), bloggers from religiously marginalized groups, bloggers with disabilities, older bloggers, younger bloggers, international bloggers, plus size bloggers, etc. Everyone has different perspectives and opinions, so it’s best to read from multiple sources.

Magnify marginalized voices in conversations about diversity, and LISTEN to what they are telling you.

Read diversely! Read genre fiction written by marginalized people. Maybe even read some gender, queer, race, or disability theory if you like. I’m personally a fan of Audre Lorde, Anne McClintock, and Sara Ahmed, but I like a lot more.

Seek out multiple sensitivity readers for the specific identity you are trying to represent (ie if you are trying to write a Muslim woman, ask a Muslim woman to sensitivity read for you. Experiences are not interchangeable so don’t treat them as such).

Don’t let the research stop here. This is just the beginning. There are plenty of awesome and accessible resources out there if you want to know more. I started learning about this stuff on sites like Tumblr, Goodreads, and Youtube. The Goodreads review sections, especially for YA books, are so entertaining and full of commentators coming at texts with feminist, queer, and POC lenses if you look in the right spots. There are also podcasts and Youtube videos about feminism, history of queerbaiting, and such. Happy reading/listening/writing!

personal

12. is it okay if I message you?

If we’ve been mutuals and/or we’ve interacted for a while (at least a few weeks or so), absolutely. When it comes to questions about writing or diversity advice in WIPs, I prefer asks (off or on anon is fine; if you’d like to be off anon but answered privately, you can indicate that in the ask). That way, other people with similar questions can join the discussion and I’m less likely to repeat myself. That said, I’m not opposed to messages; I just get shy around people I don’t know :). Regardless of ask or message, please try to ask the full question as clearly as possible so I can answer it to my best ability. Generally, you can expect an answer to your message or ask within a few days to a week of sending.

If you’re looking for a fight and/or if you start using condescending, rude, or discriminatory language, you will be ignored.

13. why don’t you post about books/shows/movies you actually like?

I do! :)

14. favorites?

books: Harry Potter; The Hunger Games; Six of Crows; Percy Jackson; The Winner’s Trilogy; Angelfall; The Secret History; Othello; Jane Eyre; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe/The Magician’s Nephew; A Storm of Swords.

movies: Alien, Blade Runner 2049, Harry Potter, Wonder Woman, Black Panther, Annihilation, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Terminator 2, The Breakfast Club, The Lion King, Moonlight dir. Barry Jenkins, Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, Tangled.

tv series: Sense8, Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008), Black Mirror, The X Files, The 100, Westworld (season 1 only), Watchmen, Homeland (seasons 1-4 only), Orphan Black, Breaking Bad, The Office, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, New Girl, Fleabag.

15. book suggestions?

Book recs!

Maxine, did you read/watch...?

16. are you a writer/what are you writing/do you plan on publishing?

I hope to publish, yes! I write mostly YA fantasy, but I also love sci fi, crime drama, and certain elements of horror so I have works in or influenced by all of those genres. I want to get my foot in the YA fantasy door first and foremost :). Check out “polysorscha writes things” if you want to know more specifics.

17. is it okay if I follow you on other social media?

As of now I keep my blog disconnected from my personal life, so I don’t share my other socials but feel free to follow me over on my main blog @ripley-stark if you like! It’s just pretty gifs and photos of my favorite movies and shows, social justice, meta reblogs here and there, and rambling in the tags. Don’t feel like you have to follow if you don’t want to; I say a lot more on here.

That being said, I have given my Goodreads to a handful of people who ask, so if you want to track what I’m reading, private message me and I’ll send you the link. In the case that I share the link with you, please respect my privacy and do not repost or share the link anywhere else unless you see me share it on my blog publicly.

18. fandom research:

In March to May 2019, I conducted a survey on my blog in an attempt to gather information about fandom through a social justice–specifically, intersectional feminist–lens. Here are the results and my analysis of the survey x. The purpose for this data collection was to write my final undergraduate research paper in one of my two majors, women’s and gender studies (the other is creative writing!), which focused on diversity and inclusion in genre fiction media and fandom. The final paper is about 11k words. I haven’t publicly published it, but message me if you’re interested in reading it! I also plan on doing more similar surveys to gather information about what audiences want to see in future media, so if anyone is interested, please send messages, asks, comments etc about what YOU want to see and/or ideas about how we can spread the info to creators. This is much bigger than just me and I can’t do it without your help. I love hearing from diverse voices and amplifying them as much as I can. Everyone’s perspective is meaningful!

19. when did you start your blog?

No earlier than the end of April or beginning of May 2018.

20. how did you decide your url?

I wish the Celaena/Dorian/Chaol love triangle resolved in a polyamorous relationship, and that Nehemia and Sorscha were thriving. Seeing as I am black, Sorscha is one of two characters in T0G who represents me. Thus, polyamorous + Sorscha. :)

[shielddrake]

The Monomyth in Video Games (AKA My Longest Rambling Ever)

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

 A person who comes from humble beginnings is called to go on an adventure to accomplish something great. He (it’s usually he) may either jump at the call or initially refuse it, but finally goes with the help of a mentor figure. He meets various amazing people and faces a myriad of challenges to achieve his ultimate goal. He confronts the main obstacle, overcomes it, and is rewarded for it. He returns to his home a wiser person, and bestows upon his fellow people the lessons he has learned, to the benefit of all. The End.

 Anyone know this? Anyone? Yup, that is a short, short, very short and simplified version of the monomyth, also known as The Hero’s Journey, a narrative device observed by many people but popularized by Joseph Campbell.  It has been studied and used by storytellers of various media, ranging from oral tales to books to movies to, yes, video games.

 It is one of the most common narrative devices out there, if not possibly the most common, at least historically. I’m sure a lot of us were exposed to Greek myths such as The Odyssey in school (at least, in America we are). JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings has many of the steps in the early parts of the story, before drifting in other directions once the fellowship separates. Each individual Harry Potter book has its own cycle of The Hero’s Journey. Every. Single. One. Star Wars is still a popular franchise (the more recent criticisms aside) and George Lucas has admitted repeatedly he used the monomyth as inspiration while he was writing the scripts for the original trilogy. So even if you are not intimately familiar with The Hero’s Journey in detail, high chances are you’ve been exposed to it simply through consuming various media.

 That’s not to say that using this narrative device is always intentional. I would find it incredibly surprising if Hiromu Arakawa or Hajime Isayama were purposely trying to include monomyth steps in their creation of Fullmetal Alchemist and Attack on Titan, respectfully, or that the creators of the 2019 anime version of Dororo meant to put Hyakkimaru through the paces of The Hero’s Journey, but sure enough, all these have some aspects of the monomyth in them!

 Does this mean a story, whether it’s a novel, TV show, movie or video game, has to possess all these steps in order to be considered using the monomyth?  No, definitely not.  On the contrary, it would actually be a good thing for stories to not require use of all these steps.  Telling a story by just crossing items off from a list is bound to create a rather stale experience. What I’m saying is simply that stories will borrow aspects of The Hero’s Journey to make the story compelling. The same goes for order and magnitude. The monomyth is usually presented in seventeen steps, but I don’t feel like they necessarily have to show up in the story in the listed order, nor do the steps have to take up equal amounts of the story-telling experience. Steps four through ten usually are the longest, while the last five or so tend to be rather short.

 So, in my apparently endless determination to apply the same techniques used in literary theory and film theory to video games, I would like to go over a couple of video games and how they do or do not apply the various steps of the monomyth.  I will go over four video games, noting whether each step is present, how much it adds to the story by its presence or absence, and how well the game represents the step.

 I’ve decided to review Final Fantasy VII (because its remake it coming out relatively soon), Dragon Age Inquisition (for another RPG, but not made in Japan), Bioshock (to show this isn’t just an RPG thing), and Psychonauts (because I’ve still got Psychonauts on the mind from my last post). I will also be comparing this to the monomyth found in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone, The Lord of the Rings, and the Star Wars Original Trilogy.

 There will be spoilers for these movies and games, on the off chance that anyone who hasn’t seen or played them doesn’t want them ruined. Do I need to keep putting spoiler warnings on older games? Or for the books/movies? Although I’m also kind of writing this with the idea that you have at least a passing knowledge of these movies, books and games…Oh well, just to be safe: Spoilers Ahead!

 This is a really, really long one, so beware. Readers may want to take this in phases.

  Let us begin.

 1.) The Call to Adventure

 First, there needs to be a little backstory established. The hero’s journey usually begins in the home of the main protagonist, more often than not showing the protagonist’s life in its everyday normalcy, which is often put in a negative light, ranging from boring to outright dangerous.

 The hero will generally come from rather small beginnings, which is probably why orphans are a common origin story. Luke is an orphan who lives with his aunt and uncle, oblivious to the fact that his father is Darth Vader. Harry Potter is very much the same, living with a borderline abusive family who force him to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs. Frodo is also an orphan taken in by Bilbo, his second cousin (hobbit family trees are confusing). Please note that this does not preclude a hero from learning a parent is alive later in the story (looking at you, Luke).

 In addition to this, the hero is rarely someone with much power, authority or money. Being a moisture farmer on Tatooine is apparently not the most noble of professions (though on a desert planet I’m a bit surprised by this), and the Dursleys appear to be middle class at best. Bilbo and Frodo are wealthy by hobbit standards and seem to be higher on the social hierarchy in The Shire, but remember that hobbits mostly reside in the Shire and immediately surrounding areas, so they aren’t considered to be important players in the world of men or elves. They are small both in stature and in society.

 For our chosen video games, it’s a little bit up to interpretation of the word “orphan” and what the player decides, but the humble beginnings idea still applies. Cloud from Final Fantasy VII (FFVII) is half-orphaned at a young age when his father dies, but doesn’t become a full orphan until he’s a teenager, when his mother dies during the Nibelheim Incident. We only see this in a flashback, and adult Cloud is a full orphan by the start of the game. By this point, Cloud has fallen from a SOLDIER First Class to a mercenary. So he’s rebelling against the more powerful people in Midgar, or at least is being paid to do so.

 The Inquisitor of Dragon Age Inquisition (DAI) may or may not have living parents, depending on origin and player choice. A human Inquisitor probably has living parents, but it’s a bit debatable if an elf, dwarf or Qunari Inquisitor does. At the beginning of the game the Inquisitor loses any prestige they may or may not have had (especially the human noble), and a Carta dwarf, Dalish elf, and Vashoth Qunari don’t have much in terms of power or rank in Thedas anyway. Whatever the case, the Inquisitor ends up being just a simple prisoner for the early prologue part of the story, before being raised up to the Herald of Andraste and eventually to Inquisitor.

 Jack from Bioshock is an interesting case. He’s sold by his biological mother, “raised” by Dr. Suchong and Brigid Tenenbaum, and later smuggled out of Rapture to live with adoptive “parents.” He is also an outsider in that he is kind of an unknown factor, given his upbringing, so by the time Jack arrives in Rapture at the start of the game, he is basically nothing but another body that happens to be there. Without Atlas directing him, it is very possible he could have just become another splicer, the crazed and deformed human remnants of Rapture’s human population. Either way, he doesn’t have much in terms of money, power or authority by the start of the game.

 Raz from Psychonauts doesn’t fit the orphan archetype, as he clearly has a rather large family, but he is estranged from his father at the very least. We don’t know his relationship with the rest of his family, but perhaps we’ll see more of that in the sequel. Raz definitely fits the humble beginnings archetype though, seeing as a circus performer profession is looked down upon, especially if you ask Kitty or Franke.

 The Call to Adventure itself can come in many forms, either through circumstance, a person begging for help, the hero learning about their origin they previously didn’t know, the hero’s own desire for a better life, and so forth. “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” Yeah, that one is pretty clear. Harry Potter gets his letter to Hogwarts delivered by Hagrid, and Gandalf says that Frodo must deliver The One Ring to Rivendell (although in the book Frodo takes a few months just thinking about it before actually leaving the Shire).

 For Cloud, the call really comes from both Barret and Tifa, with Barret paying him to help destroy the Mako Reactors, and Tifa pretty much calling in the promise Cloud apparently made to protect her during their childhood. The Inquisitor is basically blackmailed into working with Cassandra and Leliana to rebuild the Inquisition to close the Breach, which the player can either go along with willingly or unwillingly.

 Jack…doesn’t exactly have a call to adventure so much as he’s thrown into the adventure by way of mental conditioning and circumstance. The player doesn’t really get how the plane he’s riding crashed and why he ended up in Rapture until later in the game, but he’s basically told by Atlas/Fontaine what to do to help him save his (Atlas’) family. And things just go from there. For Raz, he receives a pamphlet for Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, and being a psychic himself Raz decides to run away from the circus (in an inversion of the normal run away to the circus trope) to attend the camp. I would still like to know who it was that gave Raz that pamphlet to begin with. I’ve heard a lot of different theories. What do you guys think?

 2.) The Refusal of the Call

 When the hero receives the Call to Adventure, in whatever form it comes in, the hero often refuses the call, saying he or she is not cut out for whatever the adventure calls for or they have something else more important to do.  This can be saying you have to help your uncle on the moisture farm, saying you can���t possibly be a wizard, or trying to give The One Ring to the wizard who reveals the danger you’re in. The Refusal is of course short-lived and the hero goes along with the call anyway, otherwise there would ultimately be no plot, or at least a very, very boring one.

 Cloud’s Refusal of the Call is short-lived but repeated. He tells Barret that Shinra sucking Mako from the planet isn’t his problem, tells Biggs he’s gone once the job is over, proclaims to the entire AVALANCHE group that he doesn’t care about the planet, and tells Tifa he’s going to let AVALANCHE deal with Shinra and that he’s no hero. It isn’t until Tifa reminds him of a promise he made to her that he actually sticks around the group. All this occurs in roughly the first half hour of the game.

 In DAI, a Refusal of the Call is optional based on player choice. The Inquisitor can reject being the Herald of Andraste basically from the word go, with repeated rejections scattered about the entire game. Later, the player can refuse the idea of leading the Inquisition, including for race or religious reasons.  All this doesn’t matter, however, as the game continues on with the player’s character being referred to as the Herald/Inquisitor anyway, so the refusal is kind of a moot point.

 Bioshock and Psychonauts don’t really have any Refusals of the Call. Raz actually jumps at the chance of going on an adventure, away from the circus, away from his family, who he thinks doesn’t understand him.  If anything, the refusal comes from his father, Augustus, who destroys the pamphlet for the camp and forces Raz to practice acrobatics instead. But Jack’s story is the most interesting to me in terms of the refusal, and anyone who has played through Bioshock knows why. Not only does Jack not refuse the call, but also he also literally cannot refuse it. His “Would You Kindly” mental conditioning keeps him from doing so, and I love that it is buried in the gameplay in a way that the player doesn’t even realize the mental conditioning is there until much later. Story and gameplay integrated!

 3.) Supernatural Aid/Meeting the Mentor

 I’ve seen this step be called alternatively both Supernatural Aid and Meeting the Mentor, depending on who is describing The Hero’s Journey. Campbell called it the former, while the more recent Christopher Vogel calls it the latter. Personally I think these should be separate steps, but they often have to do with one another in some way, so I guess they can go together.

 The term “supernatural” is just vague enough that it can mean many things.  It can mean magic, divine intervention, magic, genetic manipulation, magic, psychic abilities, magic, aliens, or Force magic, to name a few. Harry Potter and Fellowship of the Rings all have some form of magic (of course), while Star Wars has the Force. FFVII has magic, the ancient spiritual race of the Cetra, and, strangely enough, the alien invader Jenova. Psychonauts has psychics (again, of course).  DAI has presumed divine intervention from the Jesus-like figure of Andraste, at least until the Inquisitor enters the Fade and learns it was actually Divine Justinia, who is basically the Dragon Age version of the Pope. The Plasmids that Jack uses throughout Bioshock is more scientific than magical, but it still serves the same function.

 As for mentors, some of those are pretty obvious for the books/movies. Luke has Obi-Wan, Frodo has Gandalf, and Harry has Dumbledore. For our chosen video games, it’s a bit less clear.  Cloud’s “mentors” might actually be his love interests Aerith and Tifa, depending on how far in the game the player is. Jack has both Atlas/Fontaine and Tenenbaum, for better or worse. Raz actually has several, which is no surprise considering summer camps have to have several camp counselors, but the two major ones are Sasha Nein and Ford Cruller, since those are the ones he spends the most time with and Raz clearly looks up to Sasha as his hero.

 For the Inquisitor, that’s where it gets a bit muddy. It would seem like Cassandra starts as a mentor figure, giving the Herald advice and trying to direct them, but quickly takes a backseat once the player character becomes the Inquisitor proper. She doesn’t even show up at the war table anymore, whereas in Haven she does. Is Leliana a mentor? Kind of, but only in the sense that she acts as an advisor, roles that are also played by Cullen and Josephine.  Solas? Well, he would like to think so, and you even get minor boosts in approval if you listen to him. Or you could ignore him entirely and piss him off.  Andraste? Sure, if your Inquisitor is devout. It’s more up to the interpretation and choices of the player.

 4.) Crossing the First Threshold

 This is the step where the protagonist basically goes, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” (Yes, MGM’s Wizard of Oz also has its own Hero’s Journey!) It is the point of no return, where the hero finally decides to go with the Call to Adventure.  It is also in this step that the hero first encounters some of the real world outside of his or her comfort zone. So, this is another step that is kind of more like two steps.

 Our movies certainly have this two-part step. Luke decides to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan after his aunt and uncle are killed by Imperial soldiers, and the cantina scene is his first real interaction with the tougher people that exist in the galaxy, including the skeptical Han Solo. Frodo (eventually) decides to take the One Ring to Rivendell, and The Prancing Pony in Bree exposes the hobbits to full-sized people for the first time, other than Gandalf. Harry Potter also has two, once at the Leaky Cauldron (pubs and inns seem to be a trend) leading to Diagon Alley and again on the Hogwarts Express.

 Psychonauts has an obvious Crossing of the First Threshold: Raz enters Coach Oleander’s mind, the Basic Braining level, the first mind Raz ever enters…presumably. It’s possible he entered another mind before then, but it’s not likely.

 Jack’s first sight of Rapture kind of acts as a first threshold, for both Jack as a character and for the player, but I also kind of like to think of it as the scene where Jack first sees a Big Daddy defend a Little Sister from a splicer. It gives a bit of foreshadowing that nothing is what it looks like down here, and Jack (and by extension, the player) should be careful about who he trusts.  A Little Sister is not a small, innocent creature after all, because there is always a dangerous, hulking Big Daddy somewhere nearby. Atlas is not who he appears to be, and ultimately Jack isn’t either. Instead, they are both people wearing masks, one intentionally and the other completely obviously.

 The first attempt at closing the Breach in DAI is a clear crossing, because it is from there that the Inquisition is reborn and the main character becomes the Herald of Andraste. Nothing is the same for the player’s character from that point on. The same goes for Cloud and the gang after the pillar holding up the upper plate over the Sector 7 slums collapses. Most of AVALANCHE’s members are killed and Aerith is captured. It’s not about saving the planet by this point. It’s about saving Aerith and getting revenge. Things just domino on from there.

 5.) Belly of the Whale

 This step coincides with the previous one. It is the final separation from everything the hero knows and moving into the unknown. Oftentimes it overlaps with a step called Loss of the Mentor, but it doesn’t have to. Consumption by a whale is optional, though use of a metaphorical whale is the more common approach.

 Speaking of metaphorical whales, what’s a bigger one than the Death Star? The same place where Obi-Wan dies, leaving the last connection to anything Luke had to his previous life and the one who would help him step into the future. He’s aboard the Millennium Falcon with two other people, two droids and a Wookie, but in reality he’s completely alone.

 Another such whale is Moria, the underground kingdom previously ruled by dwarves, but by the time of The Fellowship of the Ring, it is overrun by goblins, orcs, and the Balrog. The fellowship is swallowed by the earth and needs to get out. The price of that, however, is losing Gandalf. Another mentor lost. An even bigger whale is seen later in the books once Frodo and Sam reach Mordor itself, and they have to face even more challenges to get the One Ring to Mount Doom.

 For Harry, the whale could be a couple of things. It could be Hogwarts itself, the Forbidden Forest, the Hogwarts Express, the forbidden room on the third floor, or perhaps the trapdoor under Fluffy and the passage underneath…Lots of options here.  Now, the mentor figure for this book, Dumbledore, doesn’t leave Hogwarts until near the end of the story, and thankfully he doesn’t die, unlike the previous mentors who happen to be old, bearded, wizard men. He waits until book six to do that.

 FFVII kind of has an opposite whale. On one hand, it could be argued that the Shinra, Inc. building could be the whale, and although it certainly could be, I think a more poignant one would be the greater world itself. Once Cloud and the gang escape from Shinra, they leave Midgar and head out into the world, and they don’t return to Midgar until the end of the game. This could also be considered a Crossing the First Threshold.

 Again, DAI is about choice, but there are two events that are pretty big whales. The first is trying to recruit either the mages or the Templars to the Inquisition to close the Breach. Whether the player ends up facing Alexius in a dystopian future or fighting an Envy Demon for control in the Herald’s own mind, the main character ends up delving deep into a dangerous situation they have to climb out of. The second time is during the quest line to fight the possessed Gray Wardens and the Inquisitor ends up falling into the Fade. Quite a whale there, the Fade. A giant world that is only supposed to be accessible either to mages or in dreams. This is even more intense of an experience for a dwarf Inquisitor, since dwarves do not dream and cannot be mages in this universe.

 Bioshock…well, besides the idea of Rapture itself being a whale (during the game’s opening scenes, we even see a whale swim between Rapture’s towers), I would consider the most likely place to be Rapture Central Control. It’s here that some of the most important game events happen, after all. Jack kills Andrew Ryan, there’s the reveal of Jack’s “Would You Kindly” mental conditioning, and Jack learns he’s actually Ryan’s illegitimate son. Not to mention learning that Atlas, who has been guiding Jack and the player throughout the game thus far, is actually Frank Fontaine, the big bad. He has actually been using Jack this whole time just to one-up Andrew Ryan in their little power struggle. And then Fontaine betrays Jack and sends security bots to kill him, leading to yet another loss of a mentor. That’s a lot to take in during such a short time.

 Psychonauts doesn’t have a whale, but it does have a Hideous Hulking Lungfish. Raz has to do battle with her beneath Lake Oblongata, and then enter her mind so Raz can release her from Kochamara’s control. By then, Sasha and Milla have already been kidnapped, under the ruse of “Official Psychonauts Business,” and Ford Cruller is forced to remain in his underground lair near the psitanium so he doesn’t fall into one of his many personalities. So much for help there.

 6.) The Road of Trials

 The Road of Trials is the meat and potatoes of the story. It’s all the challenges the hero must overcome in order to reach the ultimate goal, whether it’s a big or little one. The challenges themselves may also be large or small, and according to Campbell often occur in groups of three. These challenges prepare the hero for the final encounter at the end of the story.

 …Do I really need to go over these in detail for each movie and game I’m reviewing here?  It’s basically the plot all the characters go through during the course of the story, ranging from battles, dungeons, travel, magic classes, camp activities, puzzles, and so forth. I’m not going to list each one here. This post is long enough as it is.

 7.) The Meeting with the Goddess

 This step involves the hero meeting with another character who helps them in some way, whether it’s as part of the hero’s group, by giving an item that is helpful, or just giving good advice. More often than not, this character is one of high ranking: an actual goddess, a princess, a queen, or something of that sort. She may or may not be a love interest, and more modernly she may not be a “she” at all…our examples here though do happen to be female, but I’m just saying this doesn’t have to be the case.

 Star Wars is obvious. Luke meets Leia, the Princess of Alderaan who hides the plans to destroy the Death Star in R2D2, first in her hologram and then in person aboard the Death Star itself. Frodo meets Galadriel in Lothlorien, where she allows him (and Sam, in the books) to glimpse into the Mirror of Galadriel to see the possible future of the Shire should his quest fail. She also provides him the phial containing the light of Earendil’s star, which is vital to fighting off Shelob later on. I wouldn’t exactly say Harry Potter has a goddess to meet, but I like to think it’s supposed to be Hermione, since she knows so much and often is the only one who actually knows what’s going on.

 Let’s see. FFVII has Aerith, whose big “gift” to the story is giving her life while she prays for Holy to stop Sephiroth’s Meteor. Bioshock has Brigid Tenenbaum, who assists Jack throughout the game if he spares the Little Sisters, and removes part of his mental conditioning so Jack can resist Fontaine. Milla is one of Raz’s teachers at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, teaching him the Levitation ability, which is arguably the most useful ability in the game.

 As for DAI, there are plenty of characters that can play the role of the goddess, but I would argue the most important one might be Morrigan. She tells the Inquisitor about the eluvians and theorizes Corypheus is searching for one as a means to reach the Fade. Although she ends up being wrong, Morrigan also is a candidate for drinking from the Well of Sorrows, and if she does she helps the Inquisitor by fighting the red lyrium dragon during the final battle with Corypheus.

 8.) Woman as Temptress

 Here’s another misleading title. The Woman as Temptress originates back from Campbell’s research of Greek myths, where the hero is enticed by a female figure: Circe, Calypso, the Sirens, and so on. Today, the “woman” is really just anything that tries to drive the hero away from the path of his journey. This can be power, money, promises, or threats, for some other examples. It can still be a person, but lately that hasn’t been the case.

 There is always the temptation of the Dark Side of the Force, although Luke doesn’t really encounter this in full force until The Empire Strikes Back. The One Ring is the temptation itself, and it actually does succeed, since Frodo doesn’t throw the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom. It isn’t destroyed until Gollum bites off Frodo’s finger, reclaims the Ring, and falls into the Crack of Doom while doing a happy jig. Voldemort tries (very briefly) to get Harry to join him and hand over the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone at the end of the book (it’s a bit longer in the movie) but that doesn’t last very long.

 There’s not exactly a temptation in FFVII, although I guess Jenova manipulating Cloud into bringing the Black Material to Sephiroth at the North Crater is the closest thing. I feel that goes more into the manipulation category than temptation though, but it still functions in a similar way. Bioshock has the temptation of harvesting the Little Sisters to receive more ADAM from them, and thus allowing Jack to obtain more abilities. This can be really appealing from a gameplay perspective, and results in the bad ending of the game if you kill every Little Sister. Alternatively, Tenenbaum compensates you if you spare the Little Sisters, so it’s not the end of the world to resist the temptation.

 …Raz doesn’t have a temptation to stop trying to become a Psychonaut. At all. Oleander never convinces him, Loboto doesn’t convince him (their interaction is actually incredibly small in the main game), none of the other campers dissuade him, and he faces all the obstacles in all the different minds with determination. The closest thing I can think of is Lili, who really just tries to give him a realistic view that the Psychonauts are not as important as they once were. I guess the “making out” scene kind of fits here, since Raz is clearing distracted by the idea of kissing Lili and doesn’t pay any attention to what she’s saying immediately after. Linda interrupting them puts an end to that though.

 As for DAI…yeah, I have trouble with this one.  There really isn’t anything that tempts the Inquisitor in a way that distracts them from the danger at hand. Romance doesn’t do it, power doesn’t do it, money doesn’t do it, blood magic doesn’t do it, demons don’t do it…Yeah, I’ve got nothing. Readers, please help me with this, if possible!

 9.) Atonement with the Father

 This is the step most people know even if they don’t know the concept of the Hero’s Journey itself, because it is such a common trope used in all kinds of story telling. This can be a father or father figure, and honestly it’s not unusual for this to be replaced by a brother in video games, and less commonly with another relative. This step may or may not be related to the next step, Apotheosis, depending on if the “father” is the source of the main conflict, but it is still one of the major obstacles the hero must overcome. Another thing to note that this step does not have to involve the death of the “father” either.

 Let’s face it: Star Wars is one of those films that normalized the father-son conflict dynamic in movies. Sure, it existed before then, but it became a huge thing after the iconic scene between Luke and Vader in The Empire Strikes Back. The conflict doesn’t come to a head until The Return of the Jedi, when Vader finally redeems himself by killing Palpatine and saving Luke’s life, giving his own in the process.

 That being said, it’s interesting that the other two movies we’re looking at have more distant aspects of the Atonement with the Father step. It’s not Frodo who has to deal with his father’s displeasure, but Faramir. Is there anything worse than hearing your father admit that he wishes you had died and your older brother had lived? Denethor doesn’t appear to care about Faramir until he appears to have died. This is less apparent in the book, but it’s still there.

 Harry Potter has the same thing. Obviously since Harry doesn’t have a living father, it’s kind of hard for him to have a conflict with him. I guess there’s kind of atonement with Severus Snape in the last book, but you have to really, really squint to make it that relationship one of a father-figure and son. …No, that doesn’t work for our purposes. There are issues with fathers with other characters, like Ron, Neville and Draco, but those relationships aren’t really elaborated on until later in the series.

 Video games often follow a similar pattern. Conflict with a father or father figure is incredibly common. Raz and Jack both have big issues with their dads, although Raz’s resolution is obviously more positive than Jack’s. Raz actually does atone with his dad, right before the final battle with a giant two-headed father monster in Raz and Oleander’s combined mental world. (If you don’t know Psychonauts, it makes sense in context, I promise.) Jack meanwhile…kills his biological father, although perhaps not willingly considering his mental conditioning. Andrew Ryan is a pretty terrible human being though, so maybe Jack/the player would have wanted to kill him anyway. Maybe.

 It should also be no surprise that the father issue doesn’t have to surround the main character, especially since being an orphan is a common backstory, as mentioned in the Call to Adventure step above.  The Inquisitor doesn’t really have issues with his/her father, presuming the player thinks the father is still alive, but Dorian certainly takes umbrage with his father trying to use blood magic to change his sexuality. It’s up to the player to either encourage or discourage Dorian from reconciling with his father, so this step is up in the air in that regard.

 Another similar conflict that occurs in DAI that isn’t with a father is between Morrigan and Flemeth, although I would hesitate to consider it”atonement,” especially if Morrigan is the one who drinks from the Well of Sorrows, thus tying her to Flemeth’s command. Of course, with Flemeth out of the picture and Solas taking over, I wonder how that connection stands now.

 The father conflict is also not related to the main character in FFVII. Red XIII, aka Nanaki, has issues with believing his father, Seto, abandoned his mother and his tribe during an attack by the Gi tribe. In truth, Seto actually sacrificed himself to prevent a backdoor invasion, turning to stone after being hit by several petrifying arrows. Once Red learns the truth about this, he proclaims that his father was a hero and he will protect his home, Cosmo Canyon, just like he did.

 And that’s not even getting into all the father issues present in the other Final Fantasy games, plus others in FFVII. Maybe I’ll do another post about that topic another time.

 10.) Apotheosis

 This is the point the quest has been leading up to. The final challenge. The final battle. The final countdown. The hero takes all they have learned over the course of their journey and applies it to this final challenge. If there’s a main villain of the story, this is the time where the hero confronts them.

 This is pretty self-explanatory. Luke Skywalker trusts in the Force, which allows him to blow up the Death Star. Harry Potter decides he wants to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone, but not use it, and that’s what allows him to receive it from the Mirror of Erised. And Frodo has to throw the One Ring into the Crack of Doom to defeat Sauron. That last one is interesting in that Frodo technically fails to do this final task, which is not something we historically see in Hero’s Journeys, but such a failure is becoming more common.

 Applying this step to video games feels a bit like cheating considering that a large majority of them have a final boss battle of some kind, and our four games are no exception. Most of the resolution of the main character’s stories coincides with the defeat of the final boss. Jack’s story ends when he is able to reverse his mental conditioning (with Tenenbaum’s help) and he defeats Fontaine, and the Inquisitor’s conflict with Corypheus ends, of course, with Corypheus’ death. The Trespasser DLC for DAI adds more conflict involving what happens after and what the Inquisitor is going to do about their Mark that is slowly killing them, but I feel that’s another story, so it’s beyond The Hero’s Journey of the main game.

 However, despite having final boss battles, I feel that Psychonauts and FFVII also have an Apotheosis step in terms of the characters themselves. Raz has to defeat the two-headed mental amalgamation of his and Oleander’s fathers, but he is able to do so because his real father breaks into his mental world and lends Raz his power so he can fight the monster. That reconciliation is more important to Raz’s story than beating the monster. Honestly, Raz probably wouldn’t have agreed to use his father’s strength if they hadn’t reconciled literally just prior to the final fight.

 Cloud’s Apotheosis really has to do with coming to terms with his false memories. He never actually joined SOLDIER, instead becoming a grunt in the Midgar army. He was experimented on after the Nibelheim Incident, escaped with Zack, and basically imprinted Zack’s life, experiences, mannerisms and skills after Zack was killed right in front of him. Cloud and Tifa have to sift through Cloud’s memories to figure out what really happened during the Nibelheim Incident, thus returning Cloud to his normal self. Essentially, Cloud has to realize that he is not as strong of a person as he previously believed, and that there’s nothing wrong with being weak. What you have to be is true to yourself. That’s more important than being strong.

 11.) The Ultimate Boon

 So if the Apotheosis is the final challenge of the journey, then the Ultimate Boon is the reward for overcoming it. This can be material or not, and likewise may or may not be what the hero initially set out to receive or accomplish. The boon can be large (such as saving the world) or small (earning a medal), and it can be public (again, saving the world) or personal (winning a love interest’s heart).

 Harry and Frodo both set out to accomplish a task, preventing the Philosopher’s Stone being stolen and destroying the One Ring, respectively, although Harry’s realization that he must do this thing is later on in the story compared to Frodo. They both succeed and are both rewarded. Harry and his friends are basically handed the House Cup at the end of the school year for thwarting Voldemort’s plan, and Frodo and the fellowship save the world, and more importantly for Frodo, save the Shire.

 However, Frodo does end up having to leave the Shire and go into the east due to the wounds he acquired throughout the journey as well as the strain of carrying the Ring. In a way, he is rewarded for his journey, but also punished because he didn’t actually accomplish the task he set out to do. He ends up leaving the Shire, his home, which he wanted to save to begin with.

 Luke is kind of the same way. He doesn’t set out necessarily to find his father and bring him back to the light. His Call to Adventure had to do with going to Alderaan with Obi-Wan to help Leia, and he is rewarded with a medal at the end of A New Hope for destroying the Death Star. However, his boon really has to do with reconciling with Vader, a conflict that doesn’t begin until The Empire Strikes back, later in his Hero’s Journey. However, this is just a good example of how the boon does not necessarily have to relate to the call.

 The boons for both FFVII and DAI are saving the world. It’s good for the world to not be destroyed, after all. Raz’s boon is a bit more personal: He is allowed to join the Psychonauts, which he set out to do, but his relationship with his father is also significantly improved now that the two of them understand one another better.

 For Jack, he saves Rapture…sort of. If the events of Bioshock 2 indicate anything, it’s that things really haven’t gotten better for Rapture following Fontaine’s defeat. However, presuming that the player spared the Little Sisters and gets the good ending of the game, Jack returns to the surface world with the cured Little Sisters, who essentially become his daughters. In the words of Brigid Tenenbaum, “In the end, what was your reward? You never said. But I think I know…a family.”

 Jack is given the short end of the stick in terms of family and future. His parents are not his real parents, his biological father Andrew Ryan didn’t want him, his mother sold him to Tenenbaum and Suchong as an embryo, and he has no control over himself or his own destiny. Considering it turns out everything Jack knew about himself and his family is a lie, a real family is the best thing he could have received. Jack basically has nothing at the beginning of the game, so the fact that he is able to still build a life for himself and the former Little Sisters is a great reward. Of course, this is thrown out of the window if the player harvests the Little Sisters and gets the bad or neutral endings, so there you go.

 12.) Refusal of the Return

 We’ve reached the point where the hero has accomplished the goal he/she has set out to do, has received their reward, and now has to go back to normal life that was left behind at the beginning of the story. What? The hero doesn’t want to return to normal life? They prefer the world they’re in now? Yeah, in a strange reversal of the Refusal of the Call, the hero no longer wants to return to their previous life, having earned the boon and learned the lessons they have.

 Can anyone really blame Harry Potter for not wanting to return to his aunt and uncle’s house once the school year end? Yeah, let’s go back to the house where he’s treated horribly, has a literal hand-me-down bedroom, and is not allowed to perform any of the magic he has grown to love. Plus his owl is forced to stay in her cage the whole summer. That sounds great! Let’s do that.

 Frodo, on the other hand, does return to his normal life in the Shire, but later has to leave because of his wounds and from carrying the One Ring (see The Ultimate Boon step above). It’s not so much that he refuses to return, but rather he is forced to leave again. Luke is kind of the same way. He doesn’t really refuse to return to his family and their moisture farm, it’s that he can’t return to it, because that has been destroyed. His previous life can no longer be. Even if we stretch the timeline to the end of The Return of the Jedi, Luke never goes back to just being a moisture farmer.

 Psychonauts only has a half-hearted refusal. At the end of the game, Raz acts like he’s going to go back to the circus, but only for a moment. Once the opportunity to go on another rescue mission comes up, Raz turns to nonverbally ask his father if he can go. It’s more like he’s asking for permission to not return rather than refusing outright.

 The Inquisitor of DAI doesn’t return to their previous world either. The life of running the Inquisition doesn’t end when Corypheus is defeated. It continues on until the Trespasser DLC, which even at the end of that the Inquisitor continues their adventure to stop Solas from basically destroying the world in a few years. I’m actually pretty eager to see how the Inquisitor fits in the next Dragon Age game, although the developers have given a 2022 release date, last time I checked.

 For Bioshock, Jack really does not refuse to return, symbolically indicated by him leaving Rapture and returning to the surface world. Regardless of whether he brings the cured Little Sisters to the surface to have a normal life or he becomes the splicers’ new leader and brings them to the surface to destroy mankind, he peaces out of Rapture at the first opportunity he has. There’s no refusal to return on Jack’s part at all.

 FFVII…okay, I’m again having trouble with this step. Cloud doesn’t really act like he refuses to go back to his previous life. His previous life is actually up in the air, with all his messed up memories and near lack of anything connecting him to his past, either as himself or with his false memories as an ex-SOLDIER. The only person really connecting him to his life before the story is Tifa, and I’m not going to get into the shipping wars about whether he should be with her or the now dead Aerith. That’s a different post. Regardless, by the end of the game, Cloud is more interested in moving forward than going back.

 13.) The Magic Flight

 In the process of returning to normal life, the hero will often have to flee from some kind of danger. This happens after the hero has received the boon, but before they are able to bring it to the people. If there’s a bad guy that needs to defeating or a task that needs accomplishing, this step often takes place immediately after. Actual flying is not required, but don’t be surprised if it does. The Magic Flight frequently merges with the next two steps, Rescue from Without and The Crossing of the Return Threshold.

 Let’s see. Luke escapes the Death Star on a shuttle with his father’s body. Frodo and Sam fly with the Eagles back to safety as Mount Doom is erupting. Harry is knocked unconscious and rescued by Dumbledore from the room containing the Mirror of Erised. Whew. Managed to keep that short.

 DAI doesn’t really have this step, because again, the story keeps going even after Corypheus’ end. However, I could argue there are other parts of the game that have a Magic Flight, such as escaping from the dystopian future after defeating Alexius or escaping the Fade after fighting the Fear Demon. These events just don’t happen at the end of the game. FFVII also only kind of has this step too, in the form of the Highwind bringing the party out of the North Crater following the defeat of Safer Sephiroth.

 Raz has to escape from his own mind, which is intertwined with Oleander’s in the last stage of the game, and his brain has to be detangled in order to return to his normal self. He’s not really conscious for the process though, so the player doesn’t really see it. As for Jack, this step is really kind of merged with the next two, so we’ll get to those.

 14.) Rescue from Without

 During the course of the Magic Flight, the hero will be unable to escape the danger they are trying to flee from on their own. Someone (or multiple people) will need to come in and rescue the hero. This is especially true if the hero is injured or weakened in some way, particularly after a rough final battle with the big bad.

 As stated before, this one often overlaps with the previous one and the next one. Vader saves Luke from Palpatine’s Force Lightning. The Eagles rescue Frodo and Sam from the erupting Mount Doom. Harry rescued from the attack from Voldemort/Quirrell by Dumbledore and brought to the Hospital Wing for treatment. Yeah, that sounds about the same as before.

 The closest thing the Inquisitor comes to being rescued from without, at least at the end of the game, is with the red lyrium dragon, where either a dragon-shifted Morrigan (if she drank from the Well of Sorrows) or the Guardian of Mythal (if the Inquisitor did). However, the red lyrium dragon defeats either Morrigan or the Guardian, and the Inquisitor and the party have to fight it anyway. So it’s an attempted but ultimately unsuccessful rescue.

 Raz is rescued by his dad, Augustus, from his own brain, and I imagine Cruller, Sasha and Milla all played a role in separating Raz’s brain from Oleander’s and rebraining him, even though this isn’t shown on screen.  Several Little Sisters stab Fontaine to death with their ADAM-collecting syringe, saving Jack from his final blow. It’s a wonderfully satisfying scene and I absolutely love it. FFVII has a rescue of sorts in that Aerith has to basically make the Lifestream rise up to help her Holy spell stop Meteor from destroying the planet. How she manages to do this from beyond the grave is never explicitly explained. It must just be a Cetra thing.

 15.) The Crossing of the Return Threshold

 So, this step is the final of the triumvirate of the return steps. The hero actually returns to their normal life or their previous home, and distributes the boon they have received upon the rest of the world. This is basically anything that happens after the climax of the story. Exposition explaining what exactly has happened may or may not be included.

 Luke returns to the rest of the characters on Endor to celebrate the destruction of the second Death Star, bringing the teachings of the light side of the Force with him. Harry Potter boards the Hogwarts Express to return to the Muggle world. And the hobbits all return to the Shire, although in the books they have to deal with Saruman and the Scouring of the Shire once there.

 For Psychonauts, there’s kind of a Return Threshold, but only if you stretch it, and not in the sense that returns Raz to his normal life. Quite the opposite actually. Raz and the gang levitate into the Psychonauts jet that just happens to show up from the ground. Hmm, didn’t Raz say he suspected that Cruller had a jet hiding in his lab somewhere? Oh look! More setup and payoff!

 Finally, we come to Jack. After defeating Fontaine, he is finally able to take a bathysphere to the surface again. The player sees this almost immediately after defeating Fontaine, and it occurs regardless of whether the player gets the good or bad ending.

 As stated in the Refusal of the Return step, neither DAI nor FFVII really have Crossing of the Return Threshold. FFVII just sort of ends and DAI doesn’t show the Inquisitor returning to their home origins, either in the game proper or in the DLC.

 16.) Master of Two Worlds

 This step is no so much of a step, but rather a final result of the hero’s journey. It is closely related to the next step, Freedom to Live. We see the hero basically in their final form, having achieved what they set out to do, whether that was the original intention or not. The hero is able to live in both their old and new worlds.

 In our chosen movies, Luke is really the only one who is the Master of Two Worlds. He recognizes the darkness that exists in him, but he can overcome it. Frodo, on the other hand, literally can’t become Master of Two Worlds due to his experiences. He has to leave one world (the Shire) permanently for the east.

 Harry…really has to compartmentalize his wizard and Muggle experiences, but that has more to do with his family not being willing to accept that magic is a part of him. Obviously his aunt and uncle do not care for his boon (magic) that he brings with him, forbidding him from using it, even without the Statute of Secrecy in place. He can’t really master both worlds in that regard, not until the last book and he reconciles with Dudley. (I’m really annoyed they cut that from the final release of the movies. That badly needed to be shown.) Harry does become a master of two worlds, the living and the dead, in the last book, but we’re looking at the first book alone, and this step isn’t really possible for him due to his circumstances.

 Now I have to admit, the only game (on our list anyway) that has this step is probably Psychonauts. Cloud steps away from his false life as an ex-SOLDIER when he admits that it was all in his head, choosing instead to continue to live as himself. Jack either returns to the surface with the Little Sisters and stays there (in the good ending) or becomes the master of Rapture and new leader of the splicers, rejecting his previous life. And The Inquisitor, well, I guess you could say they become the master of both the real world and the Fade, especially since he/she gets progressively better at controlling the Anchor and closing Fade rifts. However, they he/she still remains in the real world as the Inquisitor, until the events of Trespasser at least. These three games have the main character choosing one world over another, so it’s hard to pin them down as “masters” of two.

 Psychonauts, however, shows Raz accepts both parts of his life, as an acrobat and as a Psychonaut. This is illustrated excellently during the last platforming part of the game, during Meat Circus, with the rising water and Raz needing to keep up with his mental image of his dad. He uses both his acrobatic skills and his psychic powers to reach the top of the area. And as stated previously, Raz gains his father’s blessing before running off on another mission. Raz succeeds at being a Master of Two Worlds, and this kid is only ten!

 17.) Freedom to Live

 A follow up of the previous step, Freedom to Live is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Having mastered both worlds, the hero is allowed to live, as he or she wants, without worrying about any more conflicts…until the story sequel at least. This is the happy ending of the story, presuming the story has a happy ending.

 All of our protagonists, both movie and video game, manage this step in one way or another. Luke no longer has the threat of the Sith looming over him, and he can be at peace knowing he helped to redeem his father (and, for now, I’m going to ignore the stuff that happens in the New Trilogy, because that starts up a whole new set of the monomyth). Harry is given the opportunity to go back to Hogwarts for more schooling, and even though his Muggle family disapproves, he knows who he is now and has answers for things he couldn’t explain before. Overall, the end of the first Harry Potter book gives him a new lot in life, and the series continues on with that from there.

 And Frodo. Poor Frodo. Perhaps it’s hard to say he has “freedom” to live since he does end up leaving the Shire, but considering that his goal was to save the Shire (and by extension, all of Middle Earth), he succeeds. Frodo had to leave his home, but the other hobbits, including Sam, his closest companion, were able to live without a care. It’s a sacrifice, but one Frodo seems content to make.

 As for the video games we’re looking at, well, now Raz has the freedom to pursue his dream of being a Psychonaut without worrying about it alienating his family, his father in particular. Cloud is able to put the past behind him and move forward as his own person, rather than trying to live up to a standard he forced himself to before. The Inquisitor has challenges ahead to be sure, but without the threat of Corypheus breathing down their neck, they have a bright future to look forward to (at least until Solas decides to tear down the Veil, but we’ll have to wait for Dragon Age 4 to see how that turns out). And finally, Jack finally has answers to any questions he had about his life, and with his mental conditioning removed, he is finally allowed to choose his own fate, whether as a despotic leader of the splicers or as a father to the cured Little Sisters.

 So there you go. The Hero’s Journey in a bunch of movies and video games. As I said at the beginning of this extensive diatribe, the monomyth is not the only way to tell a story well, and it certainly is not mandatory to make a story good. However, whether intentional or not, parts of the monomyth somehow find their way into the stories we share in our various media. It’s worth looking at for any kind of story, if only to analyze how the presence or absence of the monomyth affects the story, for better or worse. And yes, video games can be a great form of story telling, if developers take the time to create it and players take the time to experience it.

 Okay. This post has gone on long enough. To anyone who managed to make it all the way here, thank you for your patience and commitment to reading my ramblings.

[wyrdsistersofthedas]

Symbols and Signs: More Thoughts on the Dread Wolf Rises

Wow!  Thanks for all the comments, reblogs, and asks!  It’s great to read all y’alls thoughts on our posts.

And looking at how many of said comments, reblogs, and asks have to do with whether the figure in the new picture is Solas and if the orbs around the idol represent the Old Gods it looks like we need to share some of the method to our madness.  Now that our initial flailing about DA4 being a reality is under (mostly) control, I’ll try to break down our thinking.

We immediately believed the figure, the central circle, and the wolf represented Solas given his Inquisition tarot cards, the Heirophant, the Hermit, and the Tower.  There were just so many visual similarities and elements from these cards incorporated into the design of this new mural that we were pretty confident about saying the figure was Solas.  Nick Thornborrow later confirmed that the figure was bald directly, and that it was Solas indirectly (sort of), on his twitter account.

So we know visual elements associated with Solas were carefully incorporated into the new image to echo the symbolism of the earlier tarot cards.  It therefore stands to reason that other symbols in the Dread Wolf Rises mural could be found in “Solas’ art” throughout the games.  The one below, in particular, caught our eyes:  

In this mural, a Titan has been felled and its heart taken.  Notice that the asterisk symbol representing the heart or orb is the same as the half circles in the Dread Wolf Rises mural.  

This is what led us to conclude that the half circles represented orbs, like Solas’, rather than the Old Gods.  If they represented orbs, then seven orbs suggested the possibility that they represented the seven Evanuris imprisoned in the Fade.  We also think that the large circles represent the Veil, cutting off both Evanuris and Titans from waking world.  `

(Side note: Doesn’t the “eye” above the Titan look like the Inquisition’s original sigil?  The Inquisition of Old’s goal was to control Fade magic.  The symbols presence in this mural makes me wonder again if the mages and templars are just the newest recruits in an age old war, one first fought by the Evanuris and the Titans.)

The presence of the idol definitely suggests a connection to the taint, but perhaps not to the Old Gods.  The idol is actually way older than the Blights, suggesting it is tied to the origin of the taint, not necessarily the Old Gods who are untainted until they are found and awakened by the darkspawn.  

Your Majesty,

It's difficult getting a straight answer out of the scavenger. These sods get themselves so blighted they can't think straight, much less keep spit in their mouths. He says, however, that he's gone down into parts of the Deep Roads that are so old that our people forgot them long before the Blight even happened.

He spoke of great statues and temples--temples! He spoke of things that could have only been made of magic and of impossible ruins untouched by darkspawn. He described creatures the likes of which we've never seen.

None of it's possible, of course. I've conferred with the Shaper and he says the Memories date back to the founding of the first thaig--what could have come before that? Yes, we're unable to explore these depths the scavenger spoke of because of the darkspawn, but surely the Memories would speak of such places if they existed.

Yet in this scavenger's belongings, amidst all the filth, there was a single idol. It was clearly of dwarven make, but not resembling any Paragon on record. The idol was dressed in a manner I've never seen. The Shaper of Memories also could not identify it or the substance from which it was made. The thought that the Memories might be wrong is... unsettling.

— Excerpt from a report sealed in the Orzammar royal archives by order of King Annalar Geldinblade in 8:48 Blessed.

Symbols, however, often have multiple interpretations depending on the point of view of the audience.  (Decima is working on a post about exactly this in regards to the tree behind the figure in the Dread Wolf Rises.)  Could the orbs represent the Old Gods?  It’s certainly possible.  Especially if the Old Gods are connected to the Evanuris.  

Setting the half orbs along side Solas and the red lyrium idol suggests a connection between all of them.  Solas definitely has strong feelings about the Blight, Grey Wardens, and beings like Corypheus who delve into tainted magics.  He expresses concern about the Blight and the methods the Grey Wardens employ to combat the archdemons several times in Inquisition so it is a logical premise that these orbs could also represent the two remaining Old Gods.  

The Wyrd Sisters have always hesitated to infer that the Evanuris and the Old Gods are one and the same.  With that being said, however, we do think they are connected.  We just think it’s more likely that the Old Gods are the Forgotten Ones and/or the Champions of the Evanuris rather than the Evanuris themselves.  Connected, but not the same beings.  Cassandra’s thinking follows similar lines when she discusses Corypheus’ dragon with Solas:

After Here Lies the Abyss:

Cassandra: Solas, the dragon Corypheus commands - could it truly be an Archdemon?

Solas: One assumes that if it were, we would be facing a Blight.

Cassandra: So what is it, then? A corrupted dragon, simply another darkspawn?

Solas: It is connected to Corypheus. Such a relation goes beyond mere control - it is a bond.

Cassandra: It makes you wonder if that's all the Archdemons themselves are: pets to beings who no longer exist.

Solas: I would not go as far as that. This dragon is a replica, spawned from a creature who aspires to greatness. No more.

The Old Gods could be part of what is tethering the Evanuris to the Black City.  If the Old Gods were their Champions (“pets”), they would be bound to the Evanuris in a similar manner to how Morrigan or the Inquisitor is bound to Flemythal if they take on the geas from the Well of Sorrows.  Perhaps the Old Gods have to be killed in order to sever those bonds and allow the Evanuris to be escape the Black City.  Bonds to the mortal world make it damn near impossible for spirits (and elves who can take on spirit forms) to return to drop their connections to the mortal world and travel the Fade uninhibited. 

How do you bind a god?  Use the chains they created for others against the gods themselves.  

This would explain why Solas shits a proverbial brick when he thinks about the Grey Wardens slaying the Old Gods.  They are “freeing” the Evanuris of one of their bindings.  This might also explain why the Old Gods are not corrupted until the darkspawn find them.  The Evanuris are “singing” to them through their agents.  They can then control the archdemons through their bond with their champions.  Anyway, thoughts for another day and a more coherent post.

-MM

Post scripts (because I can’t stop thinking about all this!)

-An interesting point that Decima brought up as we were talking about this post is that the innermost circle of the Dread Wolf Rises mural looks like it has eluvians crossing the Veil circle.  Some of these “eluvians” are dark and dormant.  Others are active and in use.  Could symbolize Solas’ use of the eluvian network as well as the potential for eluvians to breach the Veil allowing access to the Fade (a la Kieran).  Great catch on her part, me thinks!

-The Old Gods’ song calls to the darkspawn, Titan song on the other hand repels them.  The darkspawn are compelled to find the archdemon, but they never set foot in the Primeval Thaig.  Why?  

-Several of the Old Gods seem to have been imprisoned near Titans.  Were they “standing guard” over the Titans?  Or were they their jailers?  Prepared to give warning if they ever woke up?

-Are the Titans asleep...or tranquil?  Did Corypheus’ actions at the Temple of Sacred Ashes “reconnect” the Varta’s Titan to the Fade?  So many possibilities, so little time!

-Last thought (because I have to undermine myself).  If the Old Gods were the Evanuris then they are “fragments” similar to how Flemythal can separate pieces of herself in order to escape death and destruction.  When the Darkspawn find an Old God, the taint creates an instant connection between the imprisoned (and likely mad with Blight sickness) Evanuris and this fragment of their former selves.  

[icywhitescar]

QoAaD and theories based on the chapter titles

Today, Cassandra Clare released the chapter titles of QoAaD and as a faithful literature student, I decided to analyse the poem they are based on.'The City in the Sea' by Edgar Allan Poe (1845) is the poem they are inspired from so I will be analysing the poem and theorising any possible events. The chapter titles aren't chronological to the linear structure of the poem so this will go according to the poem and not the sequence of the titles.   I'll be mostly blurting out random thoughts so this is just some general points of interest and maybe they're far-fetched but let's just get into it. 

The poem was initially published under the titles of  'The Doomed City', and 'The City of Sin' and tells the story of a city ruled by the personification of Death, perhaps alluding to many deaths in the upcoming novel. The city resides near "melancholy waters" (title of chapter 2) and the water element has been a theme throughout 'The Dark Artifices' and is a key aspect of all three book covers. The poem ends with the city sinking, which many argue is symbolic of the descent to Hell - most likely caused by mortal sin. One interpretation of this is the downfall of the Shadowhunter race by the sin of some - an idea the Cohort have already undertaken as they strive to restore the Nephilim to the old 'golden age'. The submersion of the city could allude to the downfall of the Cohort that is brought about by their own ideology, or the downfall of individual Shadowhunters due to unspeakable deeds they have committed (perhaps Julian's punishment for his willingness to transgress morals and laws for the benefit of his loved ones, seen when he was open to the idea of severing all parabatai bonds so he could be with Emma whilst also keeping his family). 

The city is located "far down within the dim West", which is the direction of the setting sun and could symbolise the descent from light to darkness as night-time prevails in the poem. Downfall is a key theme and as "everything changes" in  QoAaD, it's quite obvious that dark and sinister forces will arise. "Holy heaven come down" and "Hell, rising", convey a feeling of good forces being defeated or supressed by the villainous opposition. The most powerful villain yet is said make an appearance so the allusions are probably spot on as the Shadowhunters will struggle against a powerful enemy. 

A chilling rhyming couplet goes: "Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best / Have gone to their eternal rest", suggesting that people from both the 'good' (Livvia's Watch etc) and from the 'bad' (Cohort, Unseelie King) side will die. Cassandra Clare hasn't revealed a precise death count which supports the idea that many will be lost. Death's city is described as elaborate and impressive with "kingly halls" and "marvellous" shrines, but the magnificence is juxtaposed because the architecture is "long forgotten" and "shadowy". There is an overwhelming absence of life and it reminds me of Edom's history from CoHF, a reality where Shadowhunters perished because they lacked certain equipment such as seraph blades, but ultimately because they were too prideful to accept the help of Downworlders in order to fight demons. This is a chilling parallel to the current situation in Idris, where a blight caused by the Unseelie King is not only present in large parts of Faerie, but it has also spread into parts of Brocelind Forest. Shadowhunters would be unable to use their tools in the case of an invasion, and if the Cohort's ideology spreads and Downworlders are alienated, the Nephilim could perish exactly as they did in Edom. The presence of ruins is also in the cover of QoAaD where the ruins of a city are seen in the background.

"Babylon" is the title of chapter 3, and I believe will focus on the Cohort. The term 'Babylon' is used by Rastafarians (a religious movement in Jamaica) to refer to oppressive colonial institutions as Jamaica was a British colony. There is an inextricable link between the Cohort's fascist ideology and the ideology shared by colonial powers who saw non-white races as inherently inferior, and the Cohort represents the rise of extremism in contemporary US politics.  Perhaps Downwolders will rally up in opposition to the Cohort (maybe ally themselves with Livvia's Watch) the same way the Rastafarians do with Britain's oppressive establishments that are still present in Jamaica to this day. The title of chapter 15 is "Turrets and Shadows" which likely alludes to Julian's dark nature as he is further isolated from others by his secrets. There are plenty of theories on Julian's downfall and he is an anti-hero so this isn't surprising. Similarly to the tower covered by thorns on his bedroom wall, Julian is metaphorically trapped by his own darkness (his lies and deceitful nature). Cassie has revealed that Julian will be more isolated in QoAaD than Emma will be because he has no one to talk to, to share his burden with, and this isolation reflects the entrapment of a tower. Julian is a Blackthorn and his fairy tale is Sleeping Beauty where he is Beauty that lies in the tower so this imagery is very familiar with his character. 

Another terrifying chapter title is that of 31: "A redder glow." In Poe's poem, this is about the water's colour right before Death's city begins sinking, but in the context of TSC, this is frighteningly close to the glow of the demon tower's in Alicante during a demon invasion. A war is certainly coming and will likely take place in Alicante like it did in TMI. 

Lastly, "Hell Rising" of chapter 18 reminds me of Sebastian's quote, "If I cannot move  Heaven, I will raise Hell", something that Satan said in Paradise Lost by John Milton. Sebastian's known legacy right now is Ash who is generally accepted by the fandom to be his son which makes me question if Ash will follow his father's footsteps.  

I might add more later but I'm too tired at the moment, let me know what you guys think of this! I finally put my literature skills into use for this fandom since I don't draw or write fanfiction and doing this was really fun (and time-consuming). I'm posting this on the 10th of November 2018 and please tag me if you want to use any of these points so I can read your theories!

[jordm]

Heartland 12x10 - All Hearts Lead Home review

So, long story short; I went on vacation and came back Sunday night and completely forgot Heartland was on, until I saw Soile’s review on IG. Then proceeded to completely spoil myself on the totally (unsurprising) main plot points, so go me. Anyways, i’ll append a few photos from my trip under the cut.

I have also not seen Hudson yet and do plan on doing so probably once S12 concludes. If anyone is interested in a review let me know, otherwise I shall just sit back and watch (and perhaps anyways, still make a short post).

Anyways, to tonights action! (where Lyndy is holding a stuffed animal proportional to her height) and says hi a thousand times to anyone entering the room.

Jack

Jack is getting his fishing hooks ready for his fishing trip next week which can only mean heartbreak is on it’s way. Because then Doreen shows up, unexpectedly and while Jack is initially enthused, he quickly realized this visit was not pleasure. She was here to deliver the bad news that their dear friend Will passed away and Jack is devastated. Everyone is devastated as they all - in one way or another and in particular Jack and Ty/Amy had a particular connection with him. At least Doreen will always have that song Will wrote for her?

Anyways, Jack holds up to his promise and goes to the cabin - alone, despite Amy and Tim’s insistence that he not spend too much time there alone, even if it may be best. And yet again, I ask; 

Where the heck is Lisa in all of this?! Did NO ONE tell Lisa before she came home about Will/Jack? DOES LISA KNOW ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT FAIRFIELD OR NAH?

Of course, Jack saves a bird from the enclosure, then slips and hallucinates Will (I was wondering how he ended up with his haggard appearance from the stills and I guess I have my answer); and almost dies?? Because he sees his body slipped on the rocks.

So, Jack really did almost die (I guess?) and the out of body experience was um a little um, weird?! I’m not exactly sure what to think if i’m being honest. I guess it gave him closure and some nice reminiscing about the past; saving the herd and all at Pike River, but did he really have to almost die for this to happen? (I mean I guess he did because that’s how it works). Lisa is there for him in the end, and the reunion was very very understated - frankly I wanted more after her long absence and I can only hope she never goes away for that long again.

Tim

Tim may be annoying AF but way to speak for the audience (and really not so deep down really care about Jack). When Jack refuses company to the cabin, Tim listens to his wishes, instead of inserting himself where he isn’t wanted (which he usually does). 

He even stands up for Jack and says the things Jack would never say to Lisa - about how he’s missing her and how much he needs her. He’s pure concern when he sees Jack’s had floating down the river (good one Heartland), plus he’s basically the voice of the audience.

“You’re back - finally.”

“He’s been alone for quite awhile now Lisa.”

“You’ve been away for months Lisa. Jack hasn’t been the same since you left; I can’t count the number of times he tried to call you. So, I guess at the end of the day you have to ask yourself what’s more important - your aunt or your husband?”

“Jack needed you too.”

Speaking of Lisa - could she not come back for a week or so to visit in between the few months she was gone? Did she have to spend all the months away and was she really unable to visit at all (even for a few days?).

There’s a nice moment at the end of the episode with Jack conceding to let Tim park his trailer in the driveway and Tim admitting he needs to get his life together - he had his second chance (presumably with Casey) and blew it. And yet again, reminds me that we will never know the full story with this situation and for that I am bitterly disappointed. Hey Tim? It’s never too late - look at Will!

Georgie

So, apparently Georgie has a ticket to Europe if she wants to take it - or rather if she should take it. No one is in doubt that it’d be a great opportunity but is it really what’s best for her? Amy is trying to teach Georgie how to do her free horsing thing (totally forgot the name and too lazy to look it up) when Georgie is supposed to be taking time off and while Amy makes it look easy, Georgie is quick to point out that it is easier said than done (as is most). It does prove to be calming and zen, which is exactly what Georgie needs, in addition to her family supporting her. 

In fact, Georgie may even be finding her love of riding/horses again - for herself, not for anybody else and i’m here for that. 

Amy and Ty

Amy reminisces that if it wasn’t for Pike River that they would have never gotten back together - and while i’m not sure it’s entirely true (they would have found another way), it is very bittersweet reminiscing about past seasons.

Luke is scheduled to come and Amy and Ty don’t want to cancel despite the recent news. This means another Clint appearance (who has officially made more appearances than Lisa this season?) and another opportunity for Clint to see how happier Luke has become since he met Ty and how his bond with Boots has grown. Heck how his bond with Amy has grown - he even shows concern for her when he notices Amy being sad. He even helps Luke with his STEM project and provides some solid advice to Luke about showing emotion - and I think I’m finally coming around to mentor Ty.

It turns out that Luke is sad because Amy being said reminds him about his mother being sad most of the time. Anyways, eventually they get the Toy Car working, he bonds & he says hi to Lyndy (aka the word she says a thousand times this episode) and then the end when Clint lets Amy/Ty know that he’s looking at foster for Luke (mom’s choice, not Amy/Ty’s request thank god).

I’m all for it, and I think that they would make good foster parents, but here’s the thing. i don’t think their 100% ready, and even if they are, they don’t know how Luke is going to react if he knows his mom is willingly giving up custody. Sure he may be great now but things can change in an instant if the situation changes, which it has, plus if he does move in, that means they need to move right? Currently it’s only a one bedroom (although i’m not sure where he stays now). Then again, this probably is the best option for Luke if it has to be done. Is it the best option for Amy and Ty? We have yet to see.

Lou

Georgie doesn’t think Lou is over Mitch - and I agree. FTR, I don’t think Mitch is completely over Lou either, which really shouldn’t be the case since he’s engaged. 

What I will say about the wedding is, their request for a donation is all Maya. I can’t believe that this is really Mitch’s favourite charity - like at all  - also Changing the World with Crystals makes me think of drugs... and I think said Charity needs a new name.

“Please make a thoughtful donation to our favourite charity, Changing the World with Crystals.” - Mitch and Maya’s wedding registry. 

Anyways, Maya is way too nice for this world and comes by to ask for her plus one to the wedding. I almost feel kind of bad for her... except I’m reminded that I don’t even know her - or will ever get to know her. She will fall into the “character for a plot point” abyss just like Casey, Cassandra and Lisa. And that’s unfortunate. 

“But I want you. *pause* at the wedding.” - Mitch

Yeah Mitch, that’s real convincing. 

My opinion? Lou shouldn’t go. Don’t go to your ex’s wedding, especially if you have feelings for said person - unresolved feelings and he may too. Frankly, i’m not even sure why Mitch wants Lou there, especially if he isn’t over Lou completely. It’s only going to complicate feelings and end in both of them being a little more star-crossed (by choice though) lovers; while sometimes space is the one thing one can do to get over someone.

Let your family represent you at the wedding - take a girls trip with your daughters that weekend somewhere and relax, now that’s what you should do. Maybe here? (where I went-  not stock photos ;))

Songs in this Episode @heartandians 

Second Chances - Shaun Johnston

[residentlesbrarian]

Start of Something New

This is gonna be long but I got some ‘splainin to do so here it is. Most of you know me on tumblr as SmttnPegasus, that is my blog for screaming about gay stuff and just generally losing my everloving mind. This is gonna be something wholly new and a little more organized though I will cross post everything on this blog onto that one.

So, first off, what is this? Great question, you see in the last year I have achieved a dream from way back in my time as a tiny bean. I started working at a library! Yes, I was that nerd that spent hours in the library imagining how magical it would be to work behind that desk. Well, tiny bean me was right! This is the best job I have ever had and although the literal magic is underwhelming there is something incredibly special about helping people in their pursuits of knowledge and entertainment.

This blog is going to focus on that last bit; the entertainment, specifically the entertainment through books. That can mean so many different things to different people. Some people seek books to distract from reality while some use them to see people like them depicted so they feel a little less alone. Again this blog is going to focus on the latter example. Here is where it is gonna get real gay. But first some back story...

I grew up as a total bibliophile. Every shelf in my house had books that my parents had collected through their lives. I went to sleep listening to my mom’s animated voice reading the Hardy Boys and Magic Tree House. When I was a wee bean I would steal my older brother’s library books and read them in the closet (the irony of that statement is not lost on me). Books were a precious part of my life back then and still are to this day, but there was something that eluded me for the longest time in the world of books. This one thing was something that would have made my tiny gay life so much simpler. That something was proper queer representation that would have showed me that the thoughts and feelings I had weren’t the same as all other girls.

I was never opposed to nonfiction books but they always seemed like a means to an end. Read book A to learn fact B and apply to situation C of your life, but my true passion was for stories and characters and the worlds that surrounded them in fictional books. I dove head first into whatever I could get my hands on and of those thousands of books I read through out my teen years, do you know how many had queer characters? None. Not a single one. No wonder tiny me was so utterly oblivious to how unbelievably gay she was.

The first time I remember reading a queer character was Alec Lightwood in Cassandra Claire’s Mortal Instruments when I was in my late teens. Now I wasn’t ignorant of the fact people were gay, I even had a lot of friends who fell somewhere on the spectrum, but something about my brain just couldn’t take that a step further and think maybe I wasn’t straight. The main reason was because my whole life I had only read book after book about girl meets guy, they don’t like each other, then they do, then they are in love. Wash, rinse, repeat. No character ever jumped off the page and showed me that the way I felt about women was different than what straight women feel.

It took the low budget Youtube web series Carmilla to open my eyes, because for the first time in my life I saw myself fully in the character of Laura. After that I was veracious in trying to find more things that made me feel represented and helped me understand this part of myself I didn’t know was there, but found it was...a lot harder than it should have been.

After years of picking up the scraps I could find I made the decision that, as a writer, if I couldn’t find the representation I wanted then I would put it out into the world myself. My first time writing something that was explicitly gay was none other than fanfiction. I felt I could put it out into the world and know that people who were looking for it would find it. Fanfiction showed me that there were others out there that were looking for and also creating queer content, but I never found anything on bookstore or library shelves. ClexaCon 2018 was the first time I saw books written and published with the express purpose of making the literary world a bit gayer.

I know most of you know what ClexaCon is but in case you don’t, ClexaCon is a convention born out of the backlash following Lexa’s death on the 100. Queer women had been under represented in media for decades and this was the last straw, so across the world queer women and ally’s banded together and made a statement. We weren’t gonna take the scraps we were given anymore and part of that was coming together once a year to celebrate creators who were trying to make that difference. That included authors who were writing the books tiny bean me should have been able to read.

I was lucky enough to go to the 2018 convention and went to a panel that was all about queer authors writing queer books. It made me see that I can do this. I can write the stories I am passionate about and people will want to read them, but more importantly to this blog is that it showed me that gay books were out there. I just had to find them.

Now to tie it all together, what does any of this have to do with me working at a library, you ask? Everything. Now that I work at a large library system I have thousands upon thousands of books at my fingertips and I was determined to find the gays among the multitudes. So over my first six months on the job I have been tirelessly reading through reviews and Goodreads shelves and just general google searches and the amount of potential I have found is incredibly encouraging but now is the point where I just have to bite the bullet and start reading through this mountain. I don’t want to just find a book, stamp a rainbow on it and go, I want to find the good positive representation that deserves to be recognized.

That is what this blog is gonna be all about, reviews of the books as I read them to find those that need to be seen and highlighted for others to find. I am gonna have a scale to gauge how good the rep is. It will be a scale of unicorns (because what else really), which I will fully explain in another post after this one because this is way too long already.

Now in doing these reviews, I am not claiming to be an expert on anything literary at all. My only qualifications are that I’m an avid reader and a member of the LGBTQIA+ community who deeply loves the places books can take you. If anyone disagrees with what I have to say about these books please comment or send me asks. I want this to start a discussion even if it is just squealing about how good a book is. And please send me recommendations if you can think of a book you want me to review. Also it should go without saying that I will try to keep the reviews as spoiler free as possible but there may be occasions where my excitement makes me ramble into that territory.

Let me know what you guys think of this and the rating scale post will be up tomorrow followed by the first review on Monday. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[soulcrossed]

HEADCANON / VALKYRIE CAIN :  POST TDOTL

since bedlam is around the corner, i’d just like to remind everyone who’s following me for val that phase 2 is  NOT  part of my canon. i read spx & spxi, idk if i’ll read more of the sequels as they come out, but either way, phase 2 will affect my portrayal of val marginally at best. this headcanon is a rewrite of my interpretation from my old val blog from way back & it’s under a cut because it’s long af. if you want the tl;dr, feel free to give me a shout, but i’d appreciate it if you gave this a read.

when all is said and done, there’s just — silence. valkyrie didn’t really have any peace and calm and SILENCE in years — darquesse was never really gone. all those little thoughts in the back of her mind that had actually been her — they’re gone now. completely. and just then does she realize what had been darquesse and what had been her, and it SHOCKS her, because on the one hand she notices just how LITTLE of herself is actually left now — she doesn’t feel like  ‘ stephanie edgley ’  anymore, because stephanie edgley was killed by darquesse — and she’s not darquesse anymore, either. and on the other hand, she notices just how many of the bad thoughts were actually her own after all.

and the entirety of the magical community knows who she was now, and we already saw in TDOTL how some of them treated her, so she doesn’t feel safe in ireland anymore. china and skulduggery probably made sure no one would bother her, but she’d just FEEL it, anyway. the glances and talks behind her back. the polite, but distant and forced conversations. poorly hidden disdain and hatred. outright animosity and confrontations, sometimes moving into outright attacks she doesn’t have the heart or energy to fight off. it’s hard to bear, and she begins to stay at skulduggery’s house when he’s at the sanctuary more and more often.  ( although things are still a bit tense between them since he made her think he’d die and she told him she loved him. )  or at gordon’s, although she doesn’t like to be there unless it’s absolutely necessary, because it’s just as empty as her head now.

she doesn’t really like to go home either, because now her parents know who she is and they simply don’t treat her like their daughter anymore. they treat her with such care and they’re always so worried and she feels like she doesn’t even know them anymore. and it’s kind of TRUE, because she hasn’t seen them often since the war between the sanctuaries started and even before, it’s been becoming less and less, and it just makes her feel guilty and sad, so she keeps to herself a lot. and even though she tells herself that she’s their daughter and they love her, she can’t help but feel that she’s disappointing them, because she can’t be the reflection who cared for them so much and then died, and she just can’t get a grip on who she really is anymore.  ( and of course, there are the memories, and whenever she looks at her parents or alice, it all comes back again, and she feels like she’s suffocating, like the weight of her actions will crush her. valkyrie knows she’s not darquesse anymore, but she  IS  the person who did that terrible thing to her little sister, and shoe doesn’t know if she can ever come back from that. )

and one night she just snaps. it’s all becoming too much and she can’t handle it anymore, so she arranges everything in silence while staying at gordon’s house, packs all the stuff she needs and doesn’t even say goodbye to her parents, she just shows up at skulduggery’s doorstep in the middle of the night, and says that she can’t go on like this and she really, really needs to go. and then she leaves, all alone, and goes to america to figure herself out.

and some time after, maybe one or two years, she finds a soaked and underfed little puppy at the side of the street one rainy day and took it to the vets. and she WANTED to bring it to a shelter afterwards, but eventually just keeps her because it seems just as lonely as she is herself, and those big, sad eyes kinda remind her of fletcher, so she couldn’t leave it behind and takes it in instead.

she slowly figures out who she is and who she wants to be, when she can actually bring herself to think about it at all, and eventually comes to terms with herself over there, and after getting shoved back into action  ( the only thing that was in TDOTL & is canon )  she’s really ready to come home. however, she forgot that while she figured out who she was and what she wanted from her life  ( and from the people in it ), her family and friends at home did that too, just that they didn’t even know where she was or if she’d come back at all; they simply COULDN’T include her in those plans.

[ NOTE: THE FOLLOWING REACTIONS OF OTHER CHARACTERS ARE SIMPLY MY THOUGHTS & NEITHER REPRESENT CANON NOR OTHER PEOPLE’S INTERPRETATIONS. THEY ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE CANON IN INTERACTIONS, BUT THEY INFLUENCE MY PORTRAYAL OF VAL. ]

tanith would’ve stayed in Ireland for a while, but then went back to england because really, what was left for her there? the memories of a dead lover and a lost sister she doesn’t even know anymore.

valkyrie’s parents had to take care of alice — who is 8 by the time she comes back, and has only ever seen pictures of her sister — she wouldn’t even recognize her on the street. and Melissa may be happy when valkyrie comes back, but she’d also be angry at her for leaving without a word in the first place.

desmond and china might be the least affected by it — they’d both understand. desmond, because he’s her dad and he took her time away to remember all the stuff his grandfather taught him about magic and the dangers of it, and he understands that something terrible must’ve happened and that they simply can’t help her because they don’t understand, so he lets her go when she needs to be away, but he welcomes her with open arms when she comes back. and china because one,  she’s not really one for change, and two, she probably missed her too, if just a little  ( & because skulduggery became WAY more silent and reclusive since then, much like when she was darquesse )  and three, she’d probably understand her, because she has her own wrongdoings of the past she once had to come to terms with.

of course, skulduggery would understand, too, in a way. with lord vile, he probably understands her better than anyone, but that’s why her leaving hurts him the most? because she KNOWS this about him, and yet she won’t let him help her figure it out. he was alone then, and he doesn’t want her to be this alone, but she just NEEDS it at the time, despite knowing that he understands and wouldn’t judge her, and would even leave her the space she needs. the thing is, as long as ANYONE is around, she would look at them and start blaming herself for EVERYTHING that happened to them, and that includes skul — because she left him alone and she wasn’t strong enough to keep darquesse out and in the end he even had to become vile again and she’s just so SORRY for everything, but she knows she can’t GO ON hating herself and skul wouldn’t want that, which is why he wants her around — to show her she doesn’t have to hate herself and that there’s still people who love her and all, but she needs to believe that herself and not only be TOLD this by others.  ( and still, she’s very certain that she will never quite stop despising herself for what she did, because there’s no way to forgive THAT. )

she never even answered his mails or calls in america, athough she cried for hours after listening to every voice mail he left, and she’d listen to them on repeat when the homesickness is becoming too much. he still keeps calling, and informes about her family  ( he and desmond actually become really close friends in those 5 years. )  to them, she doesn’t speak, either — because she just knows one word from alice would immediately rip her out of her self-chosen exile, would make her want to go back, make things right; would make her want to prove that’s she’s a better person now, just that she’s not yet sure she actually is.

and when she eventually comes home, she and skul meet again after all this time and they’re happy to see each other, but something’s just broken between them. they’re not these synchronised partners anymore — one of them is always slightly off track. like, skul wants to touch her. hug her, hold her hand, brush her arm, all those little things just to make sure she’s actually back & everything, like after she came back in TDOTL. but val hasn’t really been touched in 5 years and just — she’s HAPPY he’s doing it, but she can’t help flinching every time because she isn’t used to it anymore, and at one point he stops doing it and their problem is that they don’t talk about it. about all those little mistakes and about their thoughts on it and for a while everything is kinda tense and feels almost fake.

it would take so long for them to get truly comfortable around each other again. it would only strengthen their bond eventually and all, but for the first few months it’s just uncomfortable and kind of like before she went away — she doesn’t like being around anyone at first, because she became so used to being alone, and she’d move into gordon’s mansion for good. slowly, she would start spending more and more time with her father and china. she’d call tanith and cassandra at some point and meet up with them. approaching fletcher is a lot harder, because she’s not sure he’d even want to see her. and it would take her a while to get herself to meet alice, even if she missed her sister terribly  ( though she still feels guilty when looking at her and alice takes a while to get to know her again. )  of course she’d see skulduggery quite often, but it’s some time until they really start spending their freetime together as much as they used to, and until things fall into that easy rhythm between them again.