#i feel better putting big blocks of text in the tags rather than the body so

[beesgav]

scribbling down some stuff for an idea that's been poking at me for the past few days

[tamagochiie]

pairing: timeskip!kenma x fem!reader

synopsis: You come home late from your cousin’s funeral, and though Kenma didn’t expect much from you but perhaps a few leftovers you’ve managed to steal away from the dinner, he finds you with a surprise: a sleeping child cradled around your neck and a teenage boy hovering behind you.

Your poor boyfriend wondering what in the hell it is you’re plotting…

tags: angst and fluff, time skip!, slight spoilers if you squint

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of depression, cursing

w/c: 2.2k

tagging list: @angrylittleriri​ @chims-kookies​ @gooseyhouse​

a/n: hello! welcome to the second chapter of the series! i’m posting this a little later than expected because wifi is really trying to cock block me from posting :’) i honestly wasn’t expecting people to like or interacting with this fic, so my heart is super warm right now :>  

anyway, I hope you enjoy!

happy almost new year! see you all next week!

master list

<< life as we know it | life as he’s known it >>

You wonder what the younger version of you would think if you went back in time and told her she'd be eating at a dining table filled with food that wasn't microwavable, and the air wouldn't be filled by the sound of metal clanging and scraping against each other, but instead be filled by the lilting giggles of a little boy; his older brother pressing him to keep it down; and Kenma's casual yet awkward attempt to relate to the two.

She would probably cry.

Your parents' work piled up to the late hours of the evening and spilled into the morning, leaving you in a constant state of dejection. The house would be barren, nothing but the faint ticking of the old grandfather clock to keep you company. But even if your parents were home, it would still be the same; the air cold and unmoving.

Your parents were not warm nor were they emotional, and maybe that's what drew you to Kenma; he was quiet, rarely affectionate, and gave you more than enough room to breathe. Sure, there were the occasional forehead kisses, the head pats, the 'how are you doing' texts, and sometimes if he was brave enough, he’d interlock pinkies with you in public.

But you grew selfish, finding yourself wanting a little more each time you saw him, and you weren't sure if it was okay.

Was it okay to yearn for things? 

Was it okay to ask for more?

But Kenma saw through your facade of accepting things as they are and right into your neediness. He was willing to give as long as you asked or even when you were too shy to do so. He even gave you his whole life without sparing a second thought even if the realization that he had done so came much later.

"Here, let me." Kenma slips his hands over yours, taking the plate from within your grasp to wash it in your place. He bumps his hips against yours, causing you to stumble away from the sink.

You mumble a thank you before resorting to wiping down the dishes and setting them on the rack.

You delight in his banter. He asks you about your day, stealing glances between you and the stack of dishes before him while you give him the run down. He listens to you intently, gaze wandering a little longer when he hears an exasperated sigh escape your lips, but you let him know you're just fine.

"What about you?" You ask, tilting your head and playfully moving it in front of Kenma's face, blocking him from the plate he needs to scrub. "How was your day?"

He hums, tiptoeing over you to finish the chore like the diligent little worker he is. "It was another day," You frown at him and his lack of effort to push further. He rolls his eyes, chuckling at your pouty face. "I played another trial game with Eiji—"

"And how'd that go?"

"Oh, he's absolute shit—ow!" Your slap against his arm resounds throughout the apartment, causing Yuki and Eiji's to jerk their attention towards you both. You mold your face into a look of ease, sparing them a warm smile, telling them you saw a fly.

"The hell?! I wasn't finished!" The pudding head seethes. "Sure he was shit, but he was still better than you."

The cocky grin slipping across his lips matching with his lidded eyes has you throwing your hands, erupting a series of ow's. "You're such an ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, the ass you chose." He sneers, handing you the last plate to dry.

He rubs his arm in an attempt to soothe the stinging, glaring at you begrudgingly. It takes you a while to ease back into his trust, but you do, and he picks up where he leaves off as if he wasn't in any pain  to begin with.

He tells you about his little trip to the convenience store with Yuki for his strawberry milk, and the foreign, constricting feeling that wouldn't leave his chest until they came back home. How he couldn't let go of Yuki's hand when they were in the store, and if he did, it would send him in a state of sheer panic.

"Must be your mommy instincts kicking in," You joke, and he only rolls his eyes.

He also admits inadvertently turning all your favorite whites into various shades of pinks and blues. As someone as analytical as Kenma, he was challenged by the task of separating the lights from the darks. 

You snort, earning a scowl from your boyfriend and a string of explanations to defend his case. But it isn't the mistake that makes you laugh, but rather how far you've come after a month of adjustments and an unfortunate series of events.

The first two weeks were exceptionally trying. No one spoke a word and everyone walked on eggshells. Eiji was still too shy to look at you, his responses down to a bare minimum and quieter than a whisper; Yuki cried almost all the time over every little thing, and the vein in Kenma's neck was threatening to pop every time he did.

It didn't help when you and Kenma would end your nights at each other's throats, bickering till you fell asleep. And when morning came, you'd be greeted by the emptiness from his side of the bed.

And it helped no one when the two of you would avoid each other, never crossing paths or breathing a word the moment you came home until it was too painfully awkward to continue.

Two and half hours charged with petty arguments, things of the past, and all the little things that came in between only to have finally arrived at one conclusion: You weren't parents and you weren't Akihiro-san. You were your own people and it was okay to do things differently.

Even if different meant that Kenma might call the kids by the wrong name or forget the fact he's living with someone else other than you. Even if different meant that you'll be absent-mindedly teaching Yuki a few curses to add to his vocabulary or forgetting to enroll them in school.

The truth is no one from the family was going to return your calls, and you were probably going to spend the rest of your twenties making up bedtime stories and giving pretty bad advice to someone just a few years younger than you.

Which brings you here, wearing your bathing suit as you share your bubble bath with Yuki because he wanted to play with the rubber duckies he whined and moaned at Kenma to buy for him at the store.

Lathering his hair with shampoo, Yuki's head leans against your chest, eyes gleaming beneath the bathroom lights. He beams at you, giggling at the ticklish feeling as you massage his head. He brings attention back to his ducks, making crashing sounds as he splashes them into the water.

"Is that how ducks swim?" You ask, washing away the soap from his hair. "Don't they just kinda...float around?"

He shakes his head before twisting his body to face you. He's got a tough expression plastered on; brows furrowed, his jaw clenched, eyes unwavering.

A very serious boy.

"These are special ducks," He explains, raising one to your face."These are battleship ducks."

Your lips fall to an 'o', still not picking up what he's putting down but you pretend you do.

Is this what kids are into these days?

Yuki goes on to tell you about his special ducks; something about lasers in their eyes, super special flying skills, and...echo location? You ask him if he's sure—if you heard him right, but he's as firm with his stance as he is with the death grip he has on his rubber duckies.

You drain the tub before rinsing yourselves beneath the warm water of the shower. Yuki flips his hair around, air drying himself as he steps out of the tub. You tell him to brush his teeth while he waits for you to finish rinsing.

"Hey, Oba-san," Yuki's call is muffled by the foam of the toothpaste still in his mouth. "Are you and Kenma-san married?"

You nearly fall when you slip off of your bathing suit and into your pajamas.  "Ah, no, Yuki. We're not."

"But aren't you in love?" He asks, oblivious to the sudden shift in the atmosphere, spitting into the sink and washing his mouth.

Your eye twitches and you swallow the lump in your throat before it goes big enough for you to choke and die. "Uhh, people don't always have to marry right away just because they're in love..."

"But Kenma-san said he's been in love with you for four years."

"I—Yeah, well—"

"That's sounds like a really long time, Oba-san." You can't tell if he means to sound condescending. You can't tell if your mom has awakened from the grave and possessed the young boy because she woke up thinking she had a few more things she'd like to pester you with.

"Well, Yuki," You gather the little patience you have left, taking a deep breath as you step out of the tub. The bathroom tile is cold against the soles of your feet, sending a shiver down your spine. Enough to keep you sober for trivial conversation with a six year old boy. "Love—Love kinda looks different for everyone, Yuki."

You choose your words carefully, not wanting to say anything that might confuse him.

You help him into his clothes, his hair leaving wet patches onto his his dinosaur pajamas. He listens to you intently, looking right into your eyes. "There are people marry the moment they meet—or at least after a short while—because they can't help but feel sure?” 

And you can’t help but feel flustered at your own explanation, not too sure with your words, “...and other people don't do that. Some relationships move at a faster pace and other's move a bit slower; and Kenma-san and I...we're happy with how things are right now."

He hums, nodding his head as if he understands. "Even though Eiji-san and I are here?"

"Yes, little love." You assure him with the new nickname, booping his nose. "Even though you're both here."

You grab his towel and dry his hair. You pat down the tiny puddles of water on his face and neck, noting to wipe behind his ears.

"But," Yuki mumbles through the material of the towel, swatting your hand away to to catch his breath, "sometimes people don't like different..." Yuki pushes the towel to this side, his glossy eyes meeting yours and your heart cracks. "They didn't like my dad 'cause he was different."

"H-He didn't love someone th-that looked like y-you..." Yuki bites down on his bottom lip, keeping it from quivering and fixating his eyes onto the tiles of the floor to prevent himself from choking on his words. "H-He...He loved someone that look like Kenma-san."

You understand what he means. You know full well. Their father was gay and because of that, your family ostracized him without wasting another breath. As if it was easy as blinking.

You knew what their father had been going through, you had enough time to help, yet you stood idle, doing nothing but add to his loneliness.

You kept all the sunshine Akihiro-san shared with you during your bluest days, even when it had been so obvious he needed it more than you.

But not once did you ever think about returning a sliver of it. And you wonder maybe if you hadn't been so selfish and naive, a silver lining would've been enough to avoid something as painful as this.

Instinctively, you pull him close to you, threading your fingers through his still damp hair. You shush him and press kiss on the crown of his head as his petite figure trembles in your arms. You let him sob into your shirt, his fingers twisting the material in anguish.

And it breaks your heart that a little human like him would not only know the meaning of anguish, but how it feels to have it tear through his heart.

It takes a few moments for Yuki to catch his breath and for you to ease him. He slumps onto you as he regains his strength. You tell him you're sorry because you are and because you don't know what else to say.

You try to use his strawberry milk and his brother as an incentive to keep him from crying again. And after a few minutes it works.

You trail closely behind him when he walks out of the bathroom. He begins to run when he gets closer to Eiji, the  pitter patter of his wee little feet carrying in the apartment.

You watch as Yuki thrusts himself forward into the arms of his brother, and Eiji doesn't fail to catch him. The sight before you leaves you gawking in silence, watching Eiji unravel into his big brother form as  he lifts Yuki to the ceiling, playfully sniffing his under arms, the crook of his neck, and even his little bum before complimenting him, "Good job, you smell just like flowers."

His giggles float in the air, swarming around the apartment as if he hadn't been crying just a few minutes ago.

And as you watch the scene unfold do you  decide to step out of the sidelines, using this warm moment shared between the boys as your driving force to keep the last of your cousin's light safe. 

[koutarouthighs]

『 orange slices 』

S U M M A R Y ― orange slices are usually eaten during or after sports events to replenish hydration, vitamins, and antioxidants; these characters can be forgetful, so what will you do to help them remember that sometimes it’s important to take care of themselves even though all they want to do is get lost in the game of volleyball?

post type ➺ headcanons fandom  ➺ haikyuu!! characters  ➺ daichi ⧾ bokuto ⧾ kuroo genre ➺ fluff tags ➺ college!au; established relationship;  word count ➺ 2k+ request ➺ [YES/NO]      ↳ request here!

⤭ people always tease you and daichi, calling you mom and dad, or playing around and saying, “oh, it’s like you two are already married!” and you suppose, most of the time, they’re right. you two just click. ⤭ you try to make it to as many of daichi’s intramural games as possible, given your busy school and work schedule. and every time, without fail, whenever he spots you on the green chatting with another one of the player’s girlfriends, that signature little bento box is seated safely beside you. ⤭ after the game is over, he snags one last refill of water from the team jug before jogging over to you, standing in the way of the sun so you’re not blinded when you look up at him. although, he shines brightly enough all on his own that it’s still tough not to narrow your eyes even just a little. ⤭ he makes small talk with the girls around you, their boyfriends slowly trickling in as they wrap up from their games. daichi sits next to you, hand on your knee, careful never to interrupt or overstep, always aware of you in every capacity. there is laughter as you all share stories about your least favorite professors and that one assignment you just can’t shake. ⤭ daichi waits until his stomach growls to make a move for the bento, knowing that the box is big enough for the both of you. you unravel it carefully, putting the cloth wrapping to the side before allowing him to unlock the lid.

more below the cut ↴

daichi’s eyes practically roll into the back of his head as the steam from the still-warm meat and rice wafts upward to his face. he sighs and leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before taking the set of chopsticks and digging into the food.

everyone else is watching you two, in awe or disgust at the natural ease of your relationship. you two sit closely, read one another’s minds as you get him a napkin when you see sauce drip from his chin, and he passes you the thermos filled with some sort of tea when he notices you trying to stifle a cough.

“thanks, honey,” daichi wipes his face clean before kissing your temple this time, one hand on the back of your head to steady you as he leans forward. he tucks his tissue into the empty box and nuzzles your cheek with his nose, “you always make such good lunch.”

it’s a simple recipe, one even tanaka couldn’t screw up, but the affectionate words are not lost on you. your face still heats, your eyes still avert his saccharine gaze, and your skin still buzzes at the sound of him. you thank him in that small voice you get when you feel self-conscious, and daichi wraps you up in his arms, pulling you tightly against his still-damp chest, mouth against the shell of your ear, “i’m so lucky to have you, y���know? always looking out for me.”

“daichi,” you groan, your skin burning as he kisses your cheek relentlessly, uttering little sweet nothings against your face like stardust. you wrinkle your nose and shove at him, but it has no intent. you curl your fingers around his jersey, “we look after each other, you silly goose. no need to thank me.”

daichi huffs and you look up at him, noting the wrinkle in his brow. just as you go to ask him what’s wrong, if you’ve said something that’s hurt him, his lips part, “i will never stop thanking you for being the wonderful person that you are. if i do, then i’m taking you for granted and that’s not fair.”

you know that he’s being overly dramatic, but you don’t have the heart to refute him. rather, you press your palm to his cheek and tilt your head upward to meet him halfway, a warm kiss passed from you to him. daichi’s hands seize around your waist, an anchor holding you to the grassy lawn you’ve been camped out on since early this morning. he sighs as you pull away, utterly enraptured by your graceful nature, “you deserve the whole world, darling. i just hope that what i can give you comes close enough.”

and you know that it will be. daichi was always more than enough.

⤭ bokuto always forgets his water bottle, no matter how many little notes you leave around the apartment as a reminder for him to pick it up, or how often you place it in the most easy-to-find and obvious places, he still manages to forget it entirely ⤭ even though he’s too focused on the intramural game to text you and ask you to bring it, you always show up after you’ve done your morning study routine with his huge water canister filled to the brim with ice cold h2o ⤭ after the first set, when he gets a five minute break before they start up again, bokuto spots you with that signature black water bottle hooked by the key chain attached to it’s lid looped around your finger, swaying it back and forth in midair, a little smirk-turned-smile on your pretty lips ⤭ bokuto has no bashfulness when it comes to your relationship. he loves you, is totally smitten, and wants everyone to know it. so he has no qualms with running across the green to pick you up around the waist and hoist you into the air, twirling you as he blabbers a dozen different thank you’s ⤭ he’s always so appreciative of the way you never get upset that he’s forgotten something yet again. rather, you pick up his slack, helping out where he lacks. today this trait shows by you bringing by his water bottle [and a little bento box filled with his favorite food for after the game is over]

﹢

"i left it on the front doorstep, bo,” you chastise him just before he manages to plant a kiss on your lips, effectively cutting short your admonishments. he chuckles, the sound reverberating his chest and yours, before settling you down on the ground so you can get your bearings straight before he kisses the breath out of you all over again, “yeah, but then i wouldn’t have had an excuse to come over here and kiss you.”

your whole body goes hot, from ears to toes, and you look down at his sneaker-clad feet so you don’t have to stare up into his shimmering golden irises. but bokuto, ever the steady-hand, notches his knuckle under your chin to tilt your head upward, “thank you, baby. i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“dehydrate,” you deadpan, trying your hardest to keep from turning to a molten pit of lava right here on the campus green, “starve.”

“you little...” a mirthful smirk tugs on his lips and then he’s devouring you all over again, grabbing you around the waist and invading your space as he leans forward to kiss you square on the mouth.

“bokuto! time to start the next set!”

reluctantly, and with a low growl, he departs from you, raising a pale brow as he nudges your nose with his, planting one last chaste kiss to your mouth, “gonna watch the rest of the game, babe?”

you nod, smiling as he pulls away, “of course, bo. i always watch your games.”

“just checking,” bokuto pinches your hips before finally unraveling from you, “can’t wait to show you my new power serve i’ve been working on! you better watch me!”

pushing him away, you lick your lips and grin uncontrollably, his energy infectious as he bounces on his heels at the sight of you and the thought of playing another set of volleyball. you take a breath before nodding up at him, “i can’t wait to see it, kou. you’re always amazing.”

he can’t help but to kiss your cheek one last time before jogging back towards the volleyball court, his water bottle still hooked around your finger, forgotten once again.

⤭ kuroo is not forgetful of his things like jerseys, water bottles, etc. but he can lose track of time. usually he’ll have played so many games without eating that you have to interrupt him after a few games too many and only then does he realize how lightheaded he is. ⤭ you press your palms to his heated, sweaty face and force him to focus on you, reminding him that he needs to take a break every now and then. his eyes will flit around for a moment before he finally zeroes in on your features. ⤭ one of his classmates who has been taking a break on the bench tells kuroo that he’s going to sub in for him, he wants to try blocking against the other team for a while. you know it’s just the classmate trying to help you out, so you give him a small nod over kuroo’s shoulder and then turn back to your boyfriend. ⤭ you force kuroo to sit down on the grass underneath a big tree, the shade already cooling him down as he guzzles water from his bottle for a few moments without speaking. you simply sit next to him, keeping your distance because you can tell by his posture and the flush of his skin that he’s overheated, and you don’t want to contribute to his warmth by touching him with your palm to his knee. ⤭ finally, after a few minutes, he looks across at you with a genuine grin on his lips, his eyes practically lighting up at the sight of you now that he can see you in your entirety. he reaches towards you to press a palm to your cheek, tilting his head before kissing you slowly.

﹢

"you worry me, tetsu,” you whisper as he pulls away, your fingers clutching at his jersey.

kuroo kisses the tip of your nose and then your forehead, smoothing your hair away from your face before sitting back on his thighs, still towering over you even as you sit close together. his free hand drifts to your knee, drawing little swirling motions along your skin, warmed from the sunshine beating down through the sparse leaves of the tree, “i know, sweetheart. i just get lost in the game sometimes, i forget how long i’ve been playing. i promise i’ll be better.”

the same promises every time, but you know that he misses playing with nekoma. he misses being a captain. he misses the camaraderie. and who are you to tell him that he can’t have that any longer? who are you to rob him of his sidelined dreams that are played out now in the form of recreational volleyball?

instead of arguing, you purse your lips, silently asking him for another bout of affection. kuroo chuckles before obliging, rather enthusiastically, tackling you down into the grass. he loiters over you, lanky and long and bulking as always, broad shoulders down to a trim waist, knees caging you in on either side of your hips.

“thank you,” he murmurs as he pulls away, translucent lids still partially hiding his amber irises from your view, “i don’t know where i’d be without you to bring me back down to earth.”

“you’d manage,” you whisper, tracing his jawline with your thumb, “but i like to think i make your life a little easier.”

a slow blink and the gentle tilt of his head has you completely enraptured in the beauty of his eyes coupled with his smile. every time you see him, you’re completely blindsided by his mere presence, and he never ceases to amaze you, no matter how many days you spend together. your fingers slot into his hair at the nape of his neck, thumbs brushing along his throat, like this is what you were built to do, easy and smooth.

kuroo kisses your lower lip and then your top lip, paying closest attention to every part of you, “i don’t think you know how much you mean to me, baby. guess i’ll just have to remind you.”

if you two get lost in each other against the tree trunk, the sun setting and bringing about a newfound chill in the air, nobody seemed to notice. almost as if you two were in your own world, completely lost, unable to know where one of you ends and the other begin. eventually you have to go home, but for now you’re going to bask in one another’s presence.

[bnhabadass]

Pairing: Dabi x reader Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rough sex, name calling, alcohol, angst Word Count: 4185 Prompt: Fuck against a door A/N: A big thank you to @honeytama​ for giving this piece a quick read through before posting.

Tags: @bakugoukatsukiswife​

When You Joined the League of Villains everyone warned you about the same thing. Stay away from Dabi. It was simple enough advice which you took to heart at first, trying your hardest to leave the room when he would come in and only meeting him with a small smile and wave everytime he would greet you.

But you began to wonder why people warned you to stay away. Yes they gave their reasons, but everyone told you different things.

“He’s practically useless,” Shigaraki told you. “He never does his job correctly. He usually ends up incinerating people and just leaves their bodies lying around for the police to find. It’s like he’s leaving a trail right to the hideout.”

“He’s hot, don’t get me wrong,” Toga said, “but he’ll just break your heart and move on to his next victim.” It was clear as day that she wasn’t speaking from personal experience, rather out of suspicion or hearing the unfortunate crying of girls he’s dumped or kicked out in the middle of the night.

Twice had both good and bad things to say about Dabi. “He’s the best partner a guy could ever ask for. That jerk! He’s such an asshole!”

It was strange to you how different all of their responses were, and that difference only made you more curious about what kind of person Dabi is.

Your first real conversation took place at the bar. You had just come back from a mission with Toga. Your villain costume was covered with mats of blood and dust, and while Toga told you it made you look even cuter, you still couldn’t help but complain about the new found rips in the fabric from tumbling across concrete and gravel.

“Double scotch,” you told Kurogiri when you sat down at the bar.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Dabi leaning against one of the brick walls, cigarette hanging off his lips like a water droplet about to fall from a faucet. He took a drag of the cigarette. His eyes shot daggers at you from behind the hazy cloud of smoke that came from his lips. A lazy smirk etched its way on his face when Kurogiri set the drink in front of you and you took the first painful gulp.

“That’s a pretty bold drink for someone like you,” he said, leaning his back against the counter.

“How so?” You didn’t look up at him, instead opting to stir the ice cubes around and watch as they ever so slowly melted into the drink.

“Well I’d expect a bubbly princess like yourself to order something a little sweeter.”

Your eyes shifted to glare at him. The light emanating from the bulbs hanging from the ceiling bounced off his staples. The way it shined down on half of his face illuminated his blue eyes making them seem almost pretty. “What makes you think I’m a bubbly princess?”

That was good. Dabi likes it when a person has a bit of a bite to them, and your teeth were proving to be sharper than he thought. “You’re prissy,” he said.

“Prissy?” Your voice grew shrill at his comment, only proving his point. Your eyes had widened as you turned your head to look at him.

“Exactly.”

You didn’t know what to say. It was a staring match between the two of you, and the first person to speak would lose. “I’m not prissy.” It sounded more as if you needed to say it for yourself than anything.

“Then why are you so upset about a little dirt and blood on your outfit, doll?”

The nickname sent shivers down your spine and a warm blush crept over your face. How did he know you were so upset over that?

“Isn’t it just so,” he paused for a moment pretending to look for the right words. “Trivial?”

Trivial. That must be what he thinks of you. That you would drown yourself in whisky over a messy outfit when there are real injustices in the world. You’re pathetic. “I’m not prissy,” you repeated under your breath. It’s as if you were a robot having technical difficulties and could only say the one line.

Kurogiri placed a shot of whiskey on the counter for Dabi and took the empty glass away seconds later.

“Oh?” Dabi’s eyes widened as the shot ran down his throat and settled in his stomach. “You wanna prove it?” The blush creeping up your face ran cold as Dabi placed a scarred hand on your thigh. “Why don’t you come with me, doll.” His other hand delicately tucked itself under your chin and his thumb caressed your bottom lip. “Show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”

You’re not sure what you were thinking when you stood up to follow him, and it’s safe to say you regret getting on your knees for him. But what you wish most of all is that you didn’t enjoy it as much as you did.

With a new realization of why your fellow league members urged you to stay away from Dabi, you tried your hardest to avoid him. It was proving to be much more difficult than planned. The week following your alone time together he was hard to find. You suspected he was either out on the town or spending time in whatever shit-hole apartment he probably lives in.

You appreciated your week alone from him. It was silent and gave you time for reflection. You thought a lot about the night you shared and what your friends warned you about. As shitty as you felt, you couldn’t shake the memories of his hardened cock slipping in and out of your mouth with tears spilling out of your eyes as he grabbed the back of your head and thrusted his member down your throat.

Memories of you wanting to touch yourself but Dabi slapping your hand away rang through your head.

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself, did I, princess?”

Flipping your pillow over and burying your head inside, you let out a muffled whine. The more you thought of how much you enjoyed that night, the crappier you ended up feeling.

“I need a drink,” you said to yourself. Standing up from your bed, you left your apartment and walked the few blocks down to Kurogiri’s bar. The wind seemed to brush right through you as you walked the dimly lit street. Even so, you didn’t bother going back to grab a jacket.

The bar was near empty, as you expected it to be on a Wednesday night, aside from the league members who like you had nothing better to do with their time. Shigaraki was sitting in a booth playing some video game. Looking up at you as you walked in, he gave you an acknowledging nod which you happily reciprocated.

Spinner, Toga and Twice waved you over to the booth they were laughing in, but you respectively declined to sit at the counter.

“Double scotch,” you told Kurogiri.

It wasn’t long before you could feel a warm presence behind you and hot breath tickling the back of your neck. “It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you, doll,” Dabi’s sly voice croaked out. “Don’t tell me I scared you off.”

“I should be saying the same thing to you.” You smiled at Kurogiri as he set the drink down in front of you. Even after taking a sip you refused to look at Dabi. You weren’t trying to play coy with him, you just knew that if you did look into those piercing blue eyes of his, you would freeze entirely.

“I shouldn’t be complaining,” he chuckled, turning around so that his lower back was flat against the edge of the counter. “But we both know that this little confidence act you have going on is just a decoy.” His eyes shifted to glare at you. Dabi has a way with words, and he could tell just how flustered you were getting underneath the layer of makeup you had put on earlier that day. “So why don’t we just cut to the chase and you follow me around back.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a demand that he knew you would follow. Kicking back the rest of your scotch, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the burning sensation to pass. You stood up to follow him into the back room, all while training your eyes on the hardwood floor.

It happened again and again. Dabi would approach you at the bar and you would end up with bruised knees the next day. At first it was a weekly ordeal, but after a while it became more regular. You were sucking him off so often that you were sure the other league members assumed you were dating. You were curious why no one bothered asking if you were a couple. Then you realized.

Dabi doesn’t do dating.

Still, you didn’t want to believe that you were nothing to him. He was the closest league member to you physically yet the most distant in all other forms. He had taken a liking to you so much that he let you put your mouth around his most intimate area. That had to mean something, right.

Walking into the bar on a Friday night, you scouted the booths of tipsy men gambling away what little money they have in order to find him. Tears pooled in your eyes, however, when you saw Dabi leaning against a booth talking to a young woman you had never seen before.

She twirled her fingers through her long black hair as she spoke to him, a tipsy smile on her face like she had just taken a hit off a joint. She reached out for what would be the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to her.

The sly smirk on his face didn’t go unnoticed by you. It was a smile your heart had grown to flutter at as you assumed he was only giving that smile to you.

The woman stood up and dragged him out of the building. As they walked right past you, he didn’t even bother to glance in your direction.

You cried yourself to sleep that night having finally realized what you were to him; a toy, his plaything, someone to abuse when he had nothing better to do. Loud muffled sobs echoed through your room as your feather pillows began to smell like mildew from the tears and snot that kept dripping out.

Your face was blotchy and the inside of your head felt like one big bug bite. You were miserable.

You ignored Shigaraki’s constant berate of texts and calls and missed your meeting with the league the next day, instead opting to watch reruns of shojo animes that appeared on your crap TV and eat copious amounts of instant ramen.

Eventually you texted Shigaraki back telling him you were sick. In a way you were. Every time you thought about going to the bar, more images of Dabi fondling that stupidly beautiful woman plastered themselves into your mind.

It’s not fair, you thought, how hard I’m falling for him and he doesn’t think to take a second glance at me.

Most of your day was spent yelling at yourself. You yelled at yourself for crying over a boy. You yelled at yourself for letting him get to you, for being so vulnerable that he could easily manipulate you into being his little puppet. But what you hated most of all was how you longed for him to stroke your hair, something he’s never done in a loving way, as you would sob into his chest.

Looking down at your knees, you frowned at the tender bruises that made you feel so exposed. You stood up to walk over to the poor excuse that you call a closet. The only items in there are a heavy duty jacket and a strapless dress that Toga got you as a birthday present. You never had a reason to wear it but it was long enough to cover your knees and that’s really all that mattered.

You slipped the dress on and spread it out with your hands. You modeled for yourself and couldn’t help but smile. She got your size right and everything.

Maybe you would go out tonight. You felt confident in the dress, something that you hadn’t felt in a long time. After putting on makeup to hide the blotchiness of your face, you left your apartment and headed straight for the bar.

The bar was less crowded than usual for a weekend. Your fellow league members hung around their usual booths and a couple other parties of a few people looking to get wasted were strewn about various tables.

Strutting over to the counter, you could hear Toga gushing over how cute you looked in the dress she got you.

“Double scotch?” Kurogiri asked.

You scrunched up your nose trying to decide for a moment if that’s really what you wanted. “Let’s change it up. Gin and tonic.”

You watched as Kurogiri prepared your drink.  He handed it off to you and you thanked him. It was a lighter drink than you were used to, but you didn’t mind. If anything, you felt happier drinking something more bubbly.

“Howdy.”

You turned your head to face a rather confident stranger who had sat down in the stool next to you. You had never been approached by a stranger before. It was almost exciting. Maybe it was the dress or the lighter drink or maybe it was the sorrow you were trying so hard to mask over, but you felt as though you had a vote of confidence sitting next to this stranger. Taking another sip of your drink, you smiled at him. “Hi.”

“What is a fine young lady like yourself doing in a place like this?” His eyes raked up and down your form. Though you were slightly repulsed by the act, you giggled nonetheless.

“Just looking for a fun time,” you said, leaning your cheek against your hand.

The stranger bit his lip and looked down at your chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”

You were about to respond when a gruff hand grabbed your arm and yanked you away. “Sorry, pal. She’s not interested.” Dabi dragged you along towards the back room you two have spent oh so many nights together in. He flinged you in front of him and slammed the door behind. The only light in the room was coming from the full moon peeking its way through the window.

“What the hell, Dabi?” You raised your voice, something you were not used to. It felt off but at the same time empowering.

“What the hell? What do you mean what the hell?” The usual sultry look in his eyes was replaced with rage.

“Why did you drag me away from that guy?” You weren’t sobbing like you expected to be the next time you saw Dabi. No, the sadness that once clouded your mind was replaced with anger.

He scoffed. “Oh, so you think you can fuck any stranger just because it’s been a few days since I let you suck my dick.”

You cursed yourself for the small ache that formed between your thighs. And you hated that you could feel yourself getting wet as Dabi inched his way towards you.

“Nah, sweetheart. You belong to me.”

Those were the four little words that you longed to hear since the first day he forced his cock into your mouth, leaving a small bruise on the back of your throat. Now that you’re actually hearing them, all you wanted to do was scream.

“How can you fucking say that?” Now it was your turn to back him up against a wall. “I’ve seen you flirt with other girls at the bar. I’ve seen you leave with other girls at the bar. So don’t tell me I’m not allowed to talk to another guy when you’re clearly out and about fucking whoever. I don’t belong to anyone.”

You don’t remember the few seconds leading up to Dabi grabbing you and slamming you against the closed door. The next thing you do remember is his hands pinning your wrists against the wood. The moonlight illuminated his eyes that stared into you with a mixture of lust and anger.

It wasn’t long before he crashed his lips onto yours like you were the last meal he’d ever eat. It’s then that you realize that this was the first time he had actually kissed you. You had never fully tasted him until this point. He tasted like stale cigarettes and whiskey, an intoxicating combination.

Dabi pulled away, glaring at you. You tried to lean back in and recapture his lips, but you were stopped when one of his hands delicately gripped your throat.

“Do you really think you’ll find anyone who’s better than me?” Slowly and cautiously, his hand tightened around your throat, gripping it enough to feel your pulse in his hand. His deep chuckle bounced throughout the room. “You haven’t even seen what I can do.”

The hand around your throat left to wrap around your hips and hoist you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him. You couldn’t stop the look of shock from spreading across your face like butter as you felt the tent in his pants poking at your panties.

Dabi chuckled as he reached into your dress, pulling it down and scooping your boobs into his hands.

You gasped as you felt him latch his mouth onto your nipple. Your hands instinctively traveled to his hair to support yourself. You squished your body further into him.

“Someone’s eager.” His remark caused your nether regions to twitch. “Has sucking my cock not been enough for you, princess?”

You didn’t know what to say. So instead, you tugged on his hair letting him know that you wanted him to continue.

“I see,” he said. He began trailing open mouth kisses from your clavicle bone all the way up to the shell of your ear. “If you keep this up, I might just have to take you right here, where everyone can hear you screaming my name on the other side of that door.”

His words didn’t click immediately. All you could think about was the thought of screaming his name as his pierced tongue ran laps against your tender and puffy clitoris. “Please,” you whispered. “Please.”

It was one word that spoke numbers. Dabi’s shit-eating grin widened as he hiked up your dress. “Well then, I guess we better see how wet your little pussy is for me.” With your arms still wrapped around his neck, he gripped your ass with one hand, using his thumb to stroke up and down your already soaked panties. “You’re already this wet for me and I’ve barely touched you?” There was a hint of smugness to his words like he knew that he as good at sex and if you weren’t already soaked it wouldn’t be long before you were.

You bit your lips as the warmth from his palms dug into your core. In a split second, your panties were ripped and the remnants were left forgotten on the floor. You would have been mad if they were a nice pair or if you weren’t so focused on Dabi’s knuckles barely grazing your hardened clit.

“You want me so bad don’t you, you little slut?”

The words rang in your ears loud and clear. You do want him, more than anything.

Dabi sticks two fingers in his mouth and rubs them across your clit after gathering the slick from around the outside of your walls.

Your breath staggered a bit at feeling his warm fingers. You tried to grind your hips forward, matching his pace, but the way Dabi pulled at your hair and bit your collar bone told you to stop.

When he pushed his fingers deep inside you and your walls clenched around him, he could finally feel just how tight you were.

With your eyes squeezed shut and face contorting in ecstasy, Dabi could truly see just how beautiful you were to him. He slid two of his fingers inside and scissored them up and down, back and forth, just feeling the way your walls pulsated around him. He snickered at the sloshing sound of his fingers hooking around your walls and the little breaths that escaped your mouth.

Dabi pulled his hand out to spit on his four fingers, and rapidly rubbed them against your clit, causing you to cum instantly onto his palm. He caught you in his arms again before your knees could give out.

When the waves hitting you had finally subsided, you opened your eyes to find a smirking Dabi, clearly pleased with the performance you had just given him.

“Look at you,” he said, wiping his hand covered in your juices across your breast. “You’re so fucking messy. Did you do all of this just for me?”

The sight of you coming undone like that had him palming his dick through his black jeans. The ways your mascara trailed down your cheeks as tears rolled down the side of your face made him want to take you right then and there.

So he did.

Dabi made a big show of unbuckling his belt and letting his cock spring free.

Even though you had sucked his dick countless times, it looked so much more intimidating knowing it would be going inside you.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared, doll.” Dabi stroked his length, fondling the pieces of jewelry dawning its head and underside.

You found yourself drooling at remembering what his jacob’s ladder felt like against your tongue.

Hoisting you up again, Dabi slammed your back against the door. You could feel it wobbling against your back as your jaw went slack.

With your arms around his neck, Dabi pushed your still bruised knees to the side, exposing your tender pussy to the air. He held the base of his cock in one hand and gathered up as much slick as he could. Positioning his head along your opening, he snapped his hips forward, roughly penetrating you.

You let out a harsh moan that seemed to rile him up.

“That’s it.” Dabi eased out of you, only to snap his hips forward again. “Say my name.”

“Ngh. Dabi,” you muttered in a breathy moan.

“Louder.”

“Dabi!” Your throat felt raw at saying his name like that.

As his hips snapped forward and his piercing tickled the edge of your cervix, your back rubbed up against the old wood of the door. The burning sensation was beginning to feel unbearable, but the feeling of Dabi playing with your breasts and biting your neck distracted you from the pain.

“Who do you belong to?” he barked.

“You.”

“Who do you belong to!?”

“You dabi! I will always belong to you. I won’t fuck anyone else. Only you.”

He chuckled. “Not so much of a priss now, are you?” He grabbed your chin, forcing you to turn your head towards him. Your shaky breath tickled his face as he forced your hips further and further against the door.

You knew there would be bruises the next day, that you would probably ache all over, but you didn’t care.

Dabi pinched your clit and he thrusted into you and you couldn’t help but scream. Your pussy tightened and you came around him. He thrusted again, once, twice, until he shot his hot ropes of cum inside you.

He stayed there for a moment, knees shaking as your back was held against the wall. As the both of you caught your breath, you stroked a hand through his black hair, exposing a couple white roots into your sight.

Dabi pulled his softening cock out of you and tucked it back into his boxers.

Barely able to stand, you used his shoulder to prop yourself up and stretch your legs. “How do I look?” you asked, bleary eyes looking up at him. “Is my makeup too smudged?”

He smiled down at you, a smile you have never seen before. This one was sincere and in a way loving. “You look beautiful.” He wiped underneath your eye with his thumb “My little cumslut.”

As Dabi opened the door leading to the rest of the bar, you pulled the top of the dress back up to cover your tits and spread it down with your hands so it wouldn’t expose your pantyless ass. When you left the dark room you paused to see the entire bar was staring at you, both your friends and the complete strangers.

Toga had a shit-eating grin plastered along her face whereas Shigaraki looked at the two of you with disgust. Twice, in all honesty, looked like he was about to cry.

“Everybody here needs to back the fuck off,” Dabi said, looping an arm around your waste. “This one belongs to me.”

[staywritten]

Over&Over│Seo Changbin│III

Over&Over│ Chapter III

Synopsis: Loving Changbin was either than breathing, but why was it so hard to accept that he can love you just as you love him. Why do you always questions your own self worth. What were you supposed to do when he went on an arranged marriage meeting?

Genre: Non idol au, fluff, angst, hurt comfort, smut

Word Count: 1604

Part I PartII 

Masterlist

Jisung groaned as his phone rang, the one night he actually falls asleep early and Changbin decided to call him. “What man? I’m sleeping- wait what?” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before crawling out of bed. “You did what?”

And that was how Jisung found himself wandering around town looking for you, it was getting pretty late. Changbin was only worried because you blocked his number and had no way of making sure you were ok. Jisung walked inside your job and walked over to Chaeyoung. “Is she here?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she glared at him. 

“Look Chaeyoung, this isn’t my drama. I’m only a bystander, and yet I had to get out of my bed, run halfway across town just to make sure she’s ok so could you like cut me some slack here?”

“It’s fine” you walked out from the back and sighed. 

“Thank God you’re ok” he pulled out his phone to text Changbin. 

“If you text him, I’ll break your arm.” Jisung raised his hands in retreat. “Fine fine, since you two dragged me in the middle of this can someone at least tell me what’s going on.” he opted taking a seat.

You leaned against the bar top. “How about you tell me what Binnie told you?”

“He just told me he fucked up, and he was worried about you.” 

“That’s it? You got out of bed to look for me all because Binnie said he fucked up?” you raised a brow. 

“Yes and no. I mean he’s my best friend, I’ve gotten out of bed for less. And you’re my friend too, and I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you either.”

You sighed shrinking into yourself. “I’m sorry for snapping at you… I’m just upset…. Binnie doesn’t usually lie to me… He went to an arranged marriage meeting...and he hid it from me...it doesn’t matter that he rejected her. He shouldn’t have it…” 

“I’m sure he didn’t want you to overreact or be sad overthinking it”

“Imagine how I feel now? I It’s so hard acting like everything is ok… Acting like our very obvious class difference isn’t there…” your eyes began to water. “I’m just a bartender… my family has nothing but debt and a farm…” you wiped away the stray tears that fell. “Everyday I wake up next to Changbin it feels like a dream. He’s so perfect and kind and I know this is temporary… it’s only a matter of time before his family makes him marry someone else...or that he realizes I’m nothing… I have nothing… I can give him nothing… That he’s gonna meet someone pretty, smart, more charming...and he’s gonna get bored of me an leave.” you choked back a sob. “That he claims he didn’t tell me about this meeting for my sake because he doesn’t want me to worry…. But I’m always worried…” you covered your face. “I’m always so scared….”

Jisung’s eyes softened as he gently rubbed your shoulder. He called your name so softly, his own eyes watering at just how broken you looked. “How long have you been feeling like this…? Have you ever told Changbin-Hyung?”

You just shook your head, you couldn’t bare to look at Jisung. You couldn’t bare to see the obvious pity you knew he had for you.”

“How could I tell him…”

“Because it’s not just your burden to carry” a familiar voice echoed from the door way. Changbin stood, heaving heavily covered in sweat. 

Your head shot up looking over at him, you quickly tried to cover the fact that you were crying. Shooting Jisung a glare. “You called him?!” 

He shook his head and raised his hands again. “It wasn’t me! I swear.”

“I called him” Chaeyoung leaned against the backroom. “You two have a lot to talk about...And running away isn’t going to help. Rather you fix this, or break up...you need to talk.” she sighed “Jisung, c’mon let’s give them some space for a bit”

“You don’t gotta tell me twice” Jisung hopped up following Chaeyoung out.

“Please don’t run away again…” He took a step closer to you, hesitant and slowly. Almost like he was approaching a wounded animal. His eyes were soft, brows furrowed. “Baby...please…” He took a seat at you across the bar. 

Your eyes were wide, pupils darting to look at everything. You were scared, your anxiety getting the best of you. It didn’t happen often but when it did he was usually the only one who could calm you. “Breathe Baby… deep breath…” he held your hand lacing his fingers with yours. “It’s ok… It’s ok…” he cooed. “You don’t have to put up a strong front for me…” he tried to cover it, but the hurt was so evident in his eyes. His heart broke that you were so easily able to share all your concerns with Jisung. “Do you want me to go first...or should you…?”

“You…” you mumbled, your gaze never leaving his; hands laced between your fingers. 

He took a deep breath. “I love you… more than anything or one in my life… I would do anything to make you happy.” He rubbed your hand with his thumb. “I made a mistake… My sister arranged the meeting because it was more so a business deal than anything else… I knew from the beginning that I would say no, and I fought to not go but...I could have fought harder…” his shoulders slumped. “It’s not Noona’s fault either… She wanted me to tell you… And I was going to but… I just didn’t want to worry you…” he sighed. “I’m so sorry…” 

Your eyes watered as you shook your head. “I’m just… so scared…”

“Don’t be scared… I love you and I’m never going to do anything to make you doubt that.” he tilted your chin to look at him with his free hand. “Baby… I’m going to meet a lot of people in my life… a lot of women. And no one will ever be better than you… I will pick you over and over and over again… Because that what it means to be in a relationship… It’s picking the same person every day of my life.” he smiled softy. “And for as long as you let me, I’ll continue to pick you…” he cupped your cheeks gently, gazing into your eyes with that warmness that always made you feel safe. “Can you forgive me?”

You nodded attempting to choke back your tears. Despite all your insecurities, despite your anxiety he really was your home. “C’mere…” you moved out of his hold to move around the bar, and run into his arms. He pulled you into his chest, bundling you as close as possible. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s ok…” you gripped the front of his t-shirt, your fingers still shaking. Looking up at him he pulled you into a kiss. His lips moving gently against yours as he deepened the kiss. The bitterness of liquor on your lips, and desperation on his tongue. 

You weren’t even sure of how you made it back home. You refused to leave his arms, refused to break the kiss. You needed him.

Stumbling into your apartment, your back hit the mattress as he pinned you under him. His mouth leaving sweet kisses on your skin. His hoarse voice groaning your name over and over like a prayer. 

His whole life he’s never had to want for anything, and he recognized that he’s never had to work too hard for much. But you were the single most priceless thing in his life, and he’d never stop working to prove to you how much you deserved to be happy. 

You gripped his back, nails raking along his skin as he pumped into you. Your legs hooking around his hips, holding him closer to you as you moaned. “B-Binnie please…” your eyes clenched in pleasure. 

He pulled back just slightly to get a good look at you. Your body convulsing from pleasure, lips parted as you begged, body flushed and warm all from him. He brushed your hair out of you face, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “I love you so much…” he whispered. 

You looked up at him, biting down on your lip as you tried to calm your racing heart. “You’re my whole world…” you threaded your fingers through his hair, brushing them against his scalp. 

He gave you that lazy smirk of his before grabbing something from the side table. He’d been trying to figure out the perfect moment to propose. Big dinners, events, huge moments with your families. It all felt off and he always lost his nerves. But in this moment here. Just the two of you lost in one another. This was the moment he was looking for. He grabbed the ring from the side table. “There’s still so many ways I want to love you… so many things I want to learn about you...And if you’ll have me… I want to spend our whole lives doing it…”

Your eyes widened as you looked at the beautiful diamond ring, words escaped you. Your eyes watered before you nodded pulling him into a kiss. He chuckled kissing you back, showering you with tiny pecks as he pulled away to slip on the ring.  

There wasn’t much that could be done about your anxiety or insecurities. A life time of trauma wasn’t going to be resolved in a single conversation. But he sure as hell was going to work hard to at least reassure you everyday that he loved you.

End.

Mini series complete. I hope you guys enjoyed that and special thanks to @soobinsmile ❤️❤️❤️

∘Tags List:

@sassystay-bunny​ @skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo @tonfilm @soobinssmile

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Job Hunting~

Au: Roommates

Part: Three

Theme: general

As usual the day started with a loud knock at your door before Magne burst inside. You groaned and fastened the blanket over your head, gripping it as tightly as possible in case she decided to yank it off. No, Magne was going to take the better approach to the situation. She moved to open your room curtains and light instantly flooded the room. It was ineffective against the forcefield of your blanket though. You had hoped she’d leave you be, but nooooo...

She just had to call in the big guns.

“Alright Toga, plan B! She/He/They won’t get up!” By the time she said that, it was too late to raise your white flag of surrender. “OOOF!” You huffed when the sudden slamming weight jumped on top of your body. “Jesus Toga, get the hell off me!!!” Himiko just giggled and began to tickle you until you jolted out of bed yourself. “Good job!” Magne praised her and she smiled widely. “Alright, now that you’re up Y/N, we gotta get our asses on top of this job hunting or else we’ll all be moving out faster than we moved in.” Magne spoke seriously and you nodded. She was right after all. You guys had your fun already. The moving process was over, you already had dinner at multiple places on this side of town, and you threw an absolute rager of a housewarming party last weekend. Now it was time to get serious and do adult stuff. You sighed and went to get ready for the day ahead. Once finished, both the girls were already in the car munching on toast. “We can stop somewhere and get lunch after a while if that’s okay.” Magne asked you and you nodded. “Alright! We’ve used all our connections and rounded up the places for our best possible options! First stop on the list is just a few blocks away!” Magne informed excitedly before pulling out of the parking spaces and heading towards the first destination:

The tattoo shop where Dabi worked as Assistant Manager.

The bell that hung above the door dinged as the three of you entered the shop (resume’s in hand) and approached the desk where Dabi sat. He sighed and placed the flash sheet away to look up at you 3. “Alright, you actually were being serious about the whole job thing?” He sighed in annoyance and Magne gasped. “Uhm yeah!? I wasn’t kidding around when I said that to you the other day!” Dabi pinched the skin on the bridge of his nose and looked back up at everyone. “I wanna first off start by saying, you need to have some sort of skill to do this. The art, AND the steadiness of your hands as well. Oh and you have to have a relationship with blood.” When he said this, Toga gasped excitedly. “Ugh, a GOOD relationship with it.” Dabi added and Toga frowned, turning to walk out of the shop in defeat. “How are the hours? Can I request a lot of days off in case I have to get a second job?” Magne asked curiously and Dabi just burst out into laughter. “You’re a fucking hilarious chick!!!” He laughed at her (even as she turned to walk out of the shop too). “Then I guess that just leaves you huh?” He smirked at you mischievously. “Do you wanna try for it?” He asked, quickly yanking your resume from your hands and giving it a look over. “Wow, you’re pretty impressive but I’ll be honest with you...” He handed your resume back. “We really don’t give a shit about what grade you graduated with in college algebra. Come back with a portfolio of your artwork and then you’ll be in business. If you think you’re interested in it of course.” Dabi winked and got back to work. “Oh okay, thank you.” You spoke quietly and quickly headed out the door. “So how is it for you? Did we land it?” Magne and Toga looked at you expectedly. “Honestly I probably did if I wanted to work there, but I don’t think I have enough time to put together an entire portfolio before our first rent is due. On top of that, I have to spend money on my own equipment and the apprentice thing doesn’t pay until I get my tattoo license. In all reality, this seems like a long term process. Let’s just check out the next spot please?” Magne nodded and drove off to the next place:

The Plus Ultra Tech Store where Spinner works.

The three of you entered the store and you smiled when you noticed Spinner behind the counter tinkering with an old keyboard. He looked up and directly at you as a blush started on his cheeks. “H-hey Y/N.” You smiled lightly and opened your mouth to greet him back but Toga spoke up first. “Spin Spin!!! I came to see if you had an open position or two orrrr three???” She approached the counter and excitedly slapped her palms down. “Okay whoa hey! First of all please quiet down, and second of all don’t call me Spin Spin. Anyway, gimme your Resumes.” Spinner took each of them and looked them over thoroughly (which took a bit so Toga and Magne went to look through the store). He sighed when he finished and looked over at you. “You guys have pretty darn good credentials but that’s not gonna play too much of a part here. Hey guys! Can you come over here real quick?” Spinner called out to them and the two of them made it to the desk fast af. “Okay, I really don’t wanna hurt you guys feelings but I’m gonna be frank here: Do any of you know how to fix technology?” Spinner was met with silence and confused expressions. “Uh...okay. Well do any of you have extensive knowledge on movies, tech, or video games slash consoles?” Spinner was once again met with silence. “DO ANY OF YOU KNOW HOW TO SET UP A CELL PHONE AND ARE YOU OKAY WITH DOING IT FOR MOST OF THE DAY?” 

“Oh I can!!!”

“Alright you’re hired then.” Spinner sighed and took Toga’s resume. “I can try to ask my manager to open up some more positions for you two if you want. I really don’t wanna leave you out and-” You gently placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled sweetly at him. “It’s alright Shuichi, don’t worry! Just hiring Toga has helped us a ton. Now all we have to do is focus on Mags and I, and we’ll just be A-OK.” You winked at him and pat his shoulder, watching him look away quickly as he tried to hide that cute blush of his. You and Magne headed back to the car and waited for Toga to finish up the impromptu interview/hiring process. Finally she burst out of the store doorway and skipped back to the car happily with a folded uniform in her arms. “We did it!!!!” She shouted happily once she got into the back seat. You laughed and Magne playfully rolled her eyes. “No you did it, crazy. Me and Y/N still got at least 3 more places to head to. Next stop is:

The University Shigaraki attends.

Once you guys made it there, Magne texted real quick and Shigaraki approached the car car 5 minutes later. He knocked on the driver window and Magne rolled it down. “A Sorento...really? I honestly saw you driving a bug or a smart car.” Tomura played with the door interior and Magne slapped his hand away. “Excuse you, Mr. California Raisin but my Mom gave me this car and it’s fully payed off. AND it’s a 2018, so let’s see you do better hmm?”

“I drive a 2019 Prius.”

“A Prius and you???” Magne burst into laugher and Toga giggled from the back seat. “Get the fuck out of the stupid Sorento and let’s go. I don’t have time to waste. My next class is in like 40 minutes and I still gotta get some lunch to eat.” Tomura grumbled as your crew made it out of the car. You all trekked near Tomura across the campus while he pulled out his map and argued with Magne the quickest routes to places. “Listen here you ashy bitch, I’m telling you if we cross over in FRONT of the cafeteria then we can make it to the biology building faster than if we took that sidewalk by the financial aid office.” She tapped the paper furiously and Tomura growled. “No you listen Mop headed slut, I go to school here so it’s ME that knows where we’re supposed to be. I have TWO teachers to introduce to you and Y/N each and it’s gonna take me a bit to get there so let me do it my way.” He grumbled back at her and she snatched the map. Toga leaned over to whisper in your ear as you two continued to walk behind them. “Those two argue like a married couple. 20 bucks says they’ll be dating by Christmas of this year.” You quietly laughed and pushed her to the side. “Shut it Himiko, or they’ll both kill us!” Suddenly the whole group stopped walking as two familiar faces approached. “Hey, what are you guys doing on campus? I thought you all graduated college already last year or whatever.” Hari spoke with a welcoming smile as Kai stood next to him. “Good evening you three. Thank you for inviting us to that party last week. It was nice to not focus on schoolwork for a moment of two.” Kai added peacefully. “Oh not biggie really! And we’re here because me and Y/N have to go see two teachers here for a possible position as a secretary, or teachers assistant. Tomura’s dumbass is failing as our lead to them though.” Magne and Shigaraki glared at each other for a moment. 

“Well Kai just got out for the day and my next class isn’t till later tonight since I’m taking mainly night classes and all. Why don’t I take Magne to the first teacher, and Kai can take Y/N. That way you can go eat or whatever Tomura. Besides, I owe you after you helped me with the programming homework I had before I changed my major last semester.” Hari explained and Magne squealed. “Oh such a gentleman, say less!” She grabbed Hari’s arm and he laughed nervously before she pulled him along, following the map and chatting as if they’d known each other forever. Tomura explained where to find the other teacher and then he left eagerly towards the cafeteria with Toga tagging along (because she genuinely wanted to see what the food was like here). “Thanks again for leading me there. I know you’d probably have places you’d rather be huh.” You spoke up and Kai laughed slightly. “Oh no, think nothing of it. Any escape I get from having to focus on this work all the time is perfect for me. Besides, I feel like we should get to know each other since we only just met through Shigaraki’s invite to your housewarming. You seem like an interesting person with a charming personality and a stunning face...I mean as if that has anything to do with it.” He cleared his throat and looked forward. “Wow, that was a terrible save.” You teased him, hinting at his little compliment he threw in there. “Anyway Kai, what are you going to graduate in? Like your major and all.” 

“Biological Sciences and Pre-Med. After that, I gotta head to Med school 2 cities away from here.”

“Wow, off to do great things huh? I’m kinda sad knowing that now haha. Seems like we don’t have much time to get to know each other after the next few semesters and all.”

“Oh well I wouldn’t put it that way. After all, we still have phones. And when I’m passing through to visit family on holidays, I’ll be sure to drop in and see you...and everyone else haha.”

“Wow, another bad save.” You continued to tease him and he laughed it off. You guys seemed to make it to your destination in no time. Kai was kind enough to wait around outside while you chatted in the building with the English teacher. When you came out he looked at you with worry apparent on his face. “Did it go well?” You immediately shed your fake somber expression and smiled widely. “I don’t know, but you’ll just have to ask me that when I clock in next week!!!!” You jumped up and down excitedly. “Hey that’s great! Let’s go out to celebrate with coffee or something eventually.” You smiled and nodded. It didn’t take too much longer to get back home with Toga and Magne. Turns out Magne failed the interview pretty bad but luckily she made it into a pretty cushy job with Twice and Hawks at the store in the Mall she really loved (just think Spencers pls). “Well I’d say we achieved our goals for today so let’s go blow the rest of our cash on a crap ton of junk food and binge watch Netflix at the house!” Magne cheered on the way home as you and Toga joined her. Hopefully this job would last long, and hopefully it would bring you some peace at mind when it comes to financial stability because after all...

you still needed to save money for a car👀

(but that’s a story for another time)

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

[queenofthefallenangels]

Think Twice Part 3

“I am going to make sure you never even think of touching my girl ever again. I am going to make sure you wish you never even met her.”

Seth Rollins X OC X Jon Moxley

Rated: M

Warning: Some violence

Tag Team: @sithstatlander​ @xladyxfatex​ @awkward-teenaged-girl​ @steadysuitcasepurseranch @themansbliss​ @katelynirwinhemmingsclifordhood​ @strwbrryshrtckexo​ @bluedragonfly678​ @luleelurah @mohawkmama​ @foreverthenerdprincess​ @aujenaeblaze​ @missnena2194​ @suicidepanda07​ @kelseyann2002​ @princessminjikwon​ @nerdgirlsblog​ @multi-stan-kpop​ @redz0mbie​ @thebornalpha @acon1120​ @jonsmoxley​ @chonisberonica​ @goddessofhardrock​ @1dluver13xx​

@marismar @vampirepixi​ @dietwrestling​ @asktvhead​ @moxslilangel2020 

Aria poV 

I shook my head at Seth's text messages. I knew it wouldn't take long for the news to travel to him that I was talking to someone new. This felt too fast. Almost as if someone was watching me telling him. I shook that idea out my head. Kevin probably told someone who told him or something. I hadn't seen Kevin at all today though. I wanted to thank him, but he was out sick. No one would say what with. 

My phone buzzed with a new message. I was hopeful it was Jon. My heart sank when the caller id said, Seth. 

Seth to Aria: I love you, Aria Love Meyers. Please just forgive me and forget this guy. Come back. The bed is lonely without you.  

Aria to Seth: Even if I forgive you that doesn't mean I am going to take you back. I deserve better than this. 

Seth to Aria: You do and I am sorry. I messed up big time. Let me fix this. 

Aria to Seth: Oh, you did more than just mess up. You fucked up majorly. Just leave me alone. You already proved you would rather be with Becky than me. Go be with her and let me be happy. 

Seth to Aria: I love you more than I will ever love anyone. 

Aria to Seth: You have a funny way of showing it. 

I turned my phone off after I hit send. I couldn’t keep doing this back and forth with him. It was only going to end up breaking me down into going back with him like always. 

I stabbed my fork into my salad just as Nikki and Alexa walked in. “You okay?” Alexa asked, raising an eyebrow at me. 

I nodded, “Peachy just peachy.” I lied. 

Alexa shook her head, “Is Seth still texting you?” 

“You need to block his number, love.” Nikki chimed in. “He’s just going to keep at it if he knows you will give in at some point.” 

I sighed, “I know, but a part of me, I guess isn’t ready to let go. We have been together for five years in November. He was there when my dad passed away. For a long time, I felt like he was all I had.”  Tears burned my eyes, “I really did love him a lot. I wanted to marry him and have kids with him. What kid deserves this life? A dad who can’t keep it in his pants for five seconds.” I put my head down on the table. Nikki wrapped her arm tightly around me. 

“You just need some time to forget him. Think about this new man that Alexa told me you met. Jon?” Nikki told me. “I am pretty sure from what Alexa says...he is just what the doctor ordered.” She winked. 

I giggled, rolling my eyes a bit. “You had to tell her everything,” I asked looking at Alexa. She shrugged. “He is exactly what the doctor ordered. He is even more than what he ordered for sure.” 

Jon’s POV

---Date Night--

I pulled my brown leather jacket over my body as I looked at my hair in the mirror. It was messy, but looked neat somehow. I could tell I needed a haircut by how long it was getting. It was getting as long as it used to be.  I tighten my belt on my faded blue jeans.  

 My nerves were slowly getting the best of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Seth had said about Aria learning that I was Dean Ambrose. I knew he wouldn’t tell her. He had too much to lose if I let loose what I knew. There was also a chance that she wouldn’t believe him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try other ways. Her face the last time I ever saw her still haunts me to this day.  I ran my thumb across the DA on my old dog tag that I had left in next to my new one on the dresser.  My mind slipped into the memory. 

“Dean,” Aria said as she ran towards me. “Dean,” She grabbed my arm. I turned away from her. “Seth told me. He told me you were leaving. Why?” I could hear her voice crack as she asked me why. I couldn’t look at her face. It would only make this harder. 

“Because I have to.”  I sighed. “Why do you have to? Dean, please give me answers. My dad passed away and now you are barely talking to me. I thought you were my friend, but you can’t even tell me why you are leaving!” 

I whirled around, “That’s all I am to you! That’s all I am ever going to be, Aria? Just your friend. Your buddy.” My fists clenched tightly. 

Her eyes went down fast. “Dean, don’t please.” She began to back up from me, but I pressed on. 

“Why should I? You know what happened. Have you even told Seth about it?” She shook her head. “I didn’t think so. Why would you though? You were so sure that you were going to break up with him. What stopped you?” 

“You know what stopped me, Dean. My dad…” 

“Your dad would want you to be happy if he saw the truth about Seth. Saw him for who he really is. He wouldn’t want you to be with him.”

She backed into the wall and I blocked her in. Tears streamed down her face. “First my dad now you.” 

I shook my head. “What do I have here anyway? Suffer in silence well I watch you and Seth be happy together. What kind of life is that? Is that really what you want for me?”

“It’s selfish isn’t it?” She looked down. 

“Incredibly. It doesn’t make you any better than Seth at all. You want to have your cake and eat it just as much as he does.” I shook my head as I backed up from her letting her go. I began to walk to the locker room. I could hear soft footprints following behind me. I knew who it was. I just didn’t understand why. I didn’t turn around to address her and instantly regretted it as I heard the tires screech as we walked through a parking garage. 

The car went flying through towards Aria. I was about to try and save her, but I was too late. It hit her with a force. It wasn’t enough to kill her, but she was knocked to the ground. I ran towards her as the car sped away. 

“Aria,” I tried not to move her too much as blood fell from her head.  She wouldn’t wake up, but her pulse beat slowly. I called 911 as soon as I was able to. “Why did you have to follow me Aria? Why couldn’t you just stay inside or stay away?” I cussed to myself. 

------

I was in the waiting room, pacing the halls for what felt like hours just waiting for word. Seth was with him due to the fact that he was her emergency contact, unfortunately. He didn’t speak to me. He just glared at me. I knew the nurses could feel the tension that was in the room. The one at the front desk looked a bit uncomfortable. She seemed scared that a full out brawl was going to happen between us. She wasn’t too far off. I honestly wanted to kill him. This was all his fault. If he had just kept his mouth shut about me leaving she wouldn’t have come after me tonight. 

The doctor came and called Seth to speak with him. Seth got up and approached him. They talked in hushed tones which did nothing, but piss me off even more. In their eyes, he was her only family left nearby. He was her emergency contact after all which was the only reason he got word of this. I would rather him be far the fuck away from her. 

Once they were done, Seth came towards me, “Are you happy with yourself?” 

“Fuck off, just tell me if she’s okay?” 

“She will be. She has a concussion and a couple of stitches no thanks to you.” 

“I didn’t hit her with that damn car now did I? I did my best to save her for fucks sake, Seth.” 

“I have worked hard as hell to keep those men away from her! You just lead them right to her. You know what they wanted to do to her. They knew how much she meant to Ricky and they knew how much she meant to you.” 

“They know how much she means to you apparently. Oh, no, that’s right you sold your soul to them for a bigger push. So, you could get better fights and further your career. Get more girls that are filled with so much plastic.” 

Seth hissed at Dean’s words. “I did this for her. Ricky smoked like a train. He would have met his end soon anyway. Aria never deserved to get into the mess he was bringing her into. Do you know what they would have done to her?” 

“You could have protected her!” I injected. I hated how Seth was acting. Ricky was his hero and mentor just as much as he was to me. Now, he was acting like he was nothing more than something that got in Seth’s way. Like a nasty bug on the wall that he had no choice, but to kill. 

“What the fuck do you think I was doing, Dean? I was protecting her!” 

“You were protecting yourself. You are a selfish piece of fucking shit.” I spat in his face getting close to him. “You are only thinking of yourself. If you were thinking of Aria, you wouldn’t have let them kill the only family member she has left. But, that’s what you want. Aria can’t leave if you are the only person she has. You make me so fucking sick just looking at you. What happened to the Seth I knew? The Seth I grew up with. The one who I called my brother. Where the fuck did he go?” 

Seth pushed me away from him. “Get the fuck out of here, Dean. Go away just like you said you would. She is better off without you around.” He turned to walk away, but then stopped.  “She will never love you the way you want her to. All you will ever be to her is like a brother. You will never ever be anything more.” 

[msjr0119]

The Unexpected Roommate

Part 1

What happens when your roommate of many years falls in love and moves out unexpectedly? Drake Walker was in this situation, until his friends fiancée suggested that her friend moved in to replace her fiancé. The new roommate is causing tension already. Will they be able to survive living together? What’s the worse that could happen?

Drake x Riley

Leo x Olivia

Warnings: Swearing, tension, mention of smut.

Tags- using combined tag list for this, as always if you want to be removed please do let me know. I won’t be offended.

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @drxkewalker @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desireepow-1986 @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex @bebepac

******

“So why is your roomie such an arse... what’s up with you, Riley? With every other roomie you’ve used that charm. He can’t be that bad?” Riley rolled her eyes back, knowing that no one would fully understand the extent of Drake’s awful attitude. Most people would assume that she was over exaggerating- wishing deep down that she was. Ordering another tray of shots for herself and her friend Daniel- she believed that this would numb all the negativity at home, even if it was only going to last for a few hours. I hate him. Or do I? Hate is a strong word. I think I’d have a closer friendship with a serial killer. Yes, I hate him. He doesn’t deserve me to be nice to him. He hates me too, so the feelings are mutual.

“He’s just... so frustrating. He’s horrendous towards me. He hasn’t even given me a chance- you know to get to know me.”

“It’s still early days, moving in with a stranger is going to be tough at first especially as you don’t know each other. Maybe when you are both off work, sit down and talk. Find out what each other like, what you both dislike.” Daniel had his own thoughts regarding his friends new roommate but wouldn’t dare expose this. Not needing to give her an excuse to pour alcohol down his new Armani shirt. In his mind, he believed that the man possibly actually liked Riley rather than hate her. Using the ‘hate’ as an excuse to not confess his true feelings- Daniel believed this way the reason why. Daniel himself had been in the same situation with a previous relationship.

“He wouldn’t even give me the light of day, so he’s definitely not going to talk to me like that. Fuck him. Is there any overtime at work? The less time I spend at home, the better.”

“I’ll text Carlos and find out. But for now, let’s drown our sorrows. Let’s drink!”

****

Fumbling through her bag for her key, she soon regretted having far too many shots with Daniel. Squinting her eyes, she was staring through the keyhole rather than inserting the key. Not knowing how long she had been stood up attempting to complete the ‘difficult’ task of opening a door- she believed that there was a god, saving her from any embarrassment if anyone was to walk by. As Drake opened the door, he caught her before allowing her to face plant the floor. For fuck sake, muttering to himself- he helped Riley stand up. As soon as she regained her balance after a few wobbles- he soon let go of her.

“Heh. Thanks, roooomieee.” Giggling like a naughty school girl, she was grateful that he was still awake in a way. That was until she saw his body tense, and the anger that surrounded his face.

“Past your curfew! It’s a good job that I’m still awake. Get inside now!” Shrugging her shoulders, she wasn’t his child, but she damn felt like it. Deciding to act like a teenager, to suit the ‘role’ allocated to her- she decided to become cocky and back chat him.

“Technically, I could stay outside for another minute. It’s 2.59am. So I’m back before my curfew. Arsehole.” Checking his phone, she was in fact correct- much to his annoyance.

“Just get inside before you vomit everywhere. I’m going to bed.” Following his commands, she walked into the kitchen- turning the kettle on she knew that she needed to sober up. Mainly to be able to provide Drake with any insults back- insults that would actually make sense, rather than them being garbage. Removing her dress, once it had reached her ankles- she kicked it through to the living room. Landing in the bin, she spun her body around in circles- even her drunk mind was contemplating doing a back flip to celebrate. “Goalllllll....” She cheered, before becoming silent hearing that all familiar stomp echo around his room.

Impatiently waiting for the kettle to boil in her matching lacy underwear, she was wondering if she had actually turned it on- knowing full well that didn’t trust herself when intoxicated.

I will wait, I will wait for youuuu 🎵.... to boil. I’ll wait for the boil to kettle. Maybe I should become a songwriter? I’ll send the updated lyrics to Mumford and Sons. She laughed to herself.

And I'll kneel down 🎵 ... oh fuck how am I getting back up?

Wait for now 🎵.... did I even turn it on? I need to stand up!

Struggling to stand back up, she pulled the drawer handle off, rather than stand up. I’m a dead woman, he’s going to kill me. Get up Ri! Eventually after a few attempts she stood up, and held on to the side for the dear life. Finding some gum in her purse, she hoped that it would hold the drawer handle in place- for now at least. Continuing to sing, random songs to herself-the noise of the door swinging open with full force, muted her- she was prepared and ready for Drake to comment with some sarcasm or a insult. One, two, thr...

“Will you shut the fuck up! You sound like a strangled cat! Put some fucking clothes on too! Jesus Christ, Riley! I don’t want to see all your flab.” That’s a lie. Fuck, she’s gorgeous. Just be nice to her. Remember the letter. Shit. Where did I put it?

Flab? Who the fuck does he think he is? What an insensitive comment to make.

“Yeah, because I’m a fucking obese whale aren’t I? I don’t really want to see your face or smell your whiskey scent breathing down my neck, insulting me every fucking goddamn opportunity that you get!”

“At least I can handle my drink. Stick to one drink next time and you won’t stumble around...” Actually stumbling as if on cue, she regained her balance yet again- losing count of how many times she had been in this situation. Making sure that the coffee was black she picked up the mug and began making her way to her room.

“What the fuck do you want from me Drake? I stuck to the curfew; I cleaned up whilst you was at work, I replaced all of your food. Just get a pen and paper, write down your likes/dislikes- anymore rules and I’ll fucking abide to them. Goodnight!”

“Oh, I will do. Another rule. Don’t leave your clothes scattered on the floor, or in bins. I dislike you and your attitude.”

“Ditto!” Unable to prevent her bottom lip from trembling, Drake soon realised that he had upset her. Did he care? He wasn’t too sure.

“Riley... I’m sorry. I’m tired, you keep disturbing me. I’ve got work in a few hours. You are being pretty damn selfish.”

“Don’t. I didn’t ask for you to fucking be a parent to me- I didn’t ask for you to be my babysitter. Good fucking night.”

“I need to be a fucking babysitter, you’re a loose canon! You couldn’t even insert the key into the keyhole. Good fucking morning, you idiot!” Slamming the door like some stroppy teenager, Drake slightly jumped realising that he had once again become the bad guy. Picking her dress up from inside the bin, he lift it up to his face as he inhaled the sweet perfume that was on it. Throwing it into the washing machine, he shook his head not knowing why he insisted on wanting to be close to her by smelling it.

****

Has he gone to sleep?

Yeah, I think. Come up now. I’ll sneak you in. He’s a wanker.

Ten minutes later Daniel text her, informing her that he was waiting outside. Since she had her spat with Drake, she had sobered up a bit- seeing her friend at the door, she soon realised that the hangover was due back on the agenda for the next day.

“I’ve brought alcohol! Alcohol is fun. Nice place.” He whispered, as he tip toed inside.

“You are the best! It would be nicer if he wasn’t here.” Quietly they snuck off into her room, Riley reiterated what had happened when she had returned. Also explaining about Drake’s silly rules- one that made Daniel laugh was ‘no visitors without permission’.

“Well you’ve broken a rule. He’s going to go apeshit.”

“So?” They both provided each other with a mischievous grin.

****

Drake stirred in his bed, many thoughts were roaming through his mind. One, where the fuck did he put the letter that he had wrote after supping a full bottle of Jack Daniels. Two, his obnoxious attitude towards Riley- again, making him feel slightly guilt ridden. Three, why the fuck had he woken up at four in the morning? Knowing that he must have only shut his eyes for a slight moment- they were heavy and he wished that he could just fall asleep instantly. Forcing his eyes closed, the banging and the noises suddenly awoken him.

“Oh. My. God. Yes!! Right there... harder Daniel!”

“You like that baby? You like my big hard cock inside of you...”

“Yes.... give me more! Please!”

What the fuck? Shooting out of bed, the noises increased- attempting to block it he couldn’t. Riley was getting fucked, she wasn’t his but he couldn’t help but feel disheartened. Why do I wish it was me instead? I hate the girl. Hearing her continue to moan, gave him a slight stiffy. Get down, Walker. We hate her. She’s an annoying bitch. Talking to his cock didn’t help the situation, no matter what he did- it was still growing thinking about Riley.

“Riley! Shut the fuck up!”

“Do you want to join in Drake?”

“Do I fuck! You’ve broken a fucking rule! Some of us have work in a few hours! Shut the fuck up!”

“I’m... I’m so close... oh.... Drake? I’ll be quiet soon.... I promise....go and get some beauty sleep babe!” Punching the door, he stormed back to his room- practically suffocating himself with the pillow, he was thinking about how he was going to get revenge on her.

****

Riley bit her lip as she listened to Drake stomp off to his room. Daniel was sat on the edge of the bed practically hyperventilating due to the reaction of Drake. They were the best of friends, colleagues - most people believed that their friendship was odd. On many occasions when they had been drinking they often masturbated in front of each other not giving two fucks. It turned neither of them on. Tonight she was debating whether or not to use a dildo for that extra effect, to make their prank seem sincere and real.

“Imagine his face if he finds out that I’m gay and that I actually would never fuck you. Fishy fannies. No, thank you. Big hard swollen cocks- yes! They are welcoming. What are we doing with these condoms then?”

“I have just the plan. But first, more shots!”

****

Drake had never been able to sleep in late, unless he was on a bender. Usually he would have an early night and be an early riser. Despite the annoying disturbance only a few hours ago, he was fully awake- deciding to work at home rather than go into the office, he was grateful that he had the option to do this. Sneaking quietly out of his room, through to the living area- his eyes widened. Firstly noticing the mess that Riley and her one night stand - as he assumed - had caused. Then he saw her half naked on the couch, his previous anger had deteriorated- instead he was admiring her. Placing her into a more comfortable position than she originally was in- he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her. Caressing her cheek, his hand lingered there for a moment. Kissing her on the forehead, he was unsure as to why she was like a magnet pulling him closer to her. Fluttering her eyelashes open, shock was written all over her face. Why is he so close? Has he found the condoms? Oh god, he’s going to kill me.

“Drake! What the actual fuck? You pervert! Have you just kissed me?” Using all of the energy she had in her, she pushed him away- forgetting how she ended up in the living room, she quickly scrutinised the room for clues. Empty bottles on the floor, my bra is on the floor- when did Daniel leave? Fuck, my head hurts.

“Have I fuck? Why the fuck would I kiss you? I hate you! I was just checking your pulse. I don’t really want to have to hide your corpse down the laundry chute!” Feeling slightly embarrassed that she called him out for something that he would always deny doing- he opened the curtains and decided to do something productive- work.

“Soz to disappoint ya but I’m very much alive! Get me some pain killers please.” The constant ache surrounding her head felt as if someone was hammering at her brain. Wrapping the blanket around her, she didn’t really want to move from the couch- however her dry chapped lips and the dehydration couldn’t be ignored for much longer.

“Enjoy your hangover, darling. I have work to do. And thanks to your antics, I need a lot of caffeine- get off of your arse and get your own pain killers.” Rolling his eyes back, he just wished that she would leave him in peace- at least until she was sober. Remembering that he wasn’t her ‘babysitter’ he didn’t owe her anything as far as he was aware. Standing up, the room was spinning and her body was swaying- Daniel you mother fucker- why is he such a bad influence? Drake typed away on his laptop- every so often he looked over towards her, quietly laughing as she was struggling to cope he had no empathy for her.

“Hey, Drake?” She turned to face him, as she swallowed the pain killers and water- not really knowing what she wanted to tell him. In the back of her mind, she felt slightly guilty for her drunk antics as she noticed that he was knackered. Feeling like she had to apologise, she decided against it- he deserved it in a way.

“For god sake what?” Slamming the cup of coffee on the table as he shouted, she flinched. No he definitely doesn’t deserve an apology.

“If you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask.” Smirking at him, he returned the smirk followed by the middle finger gesture. “Oh so you prefer fingering a girl, I see.”

“No, that was my polite way in saying fuck off.”

“I am. Don’t worry. I’m tired. Sorry, by the way.” Pausing, she noticed his perplexed expression. Sorry, that’s a start- he thought to himself.

“I used all of your stash of condoms. I also gave my lover your ‘Tom Ford’ aftershave too, to thank him for the passionate night that we shared together. I’m sure you won’t mind, it’s not like you need it. It’s only aftershave. You’re a boring bastard so don’t need it to pull. No girl in their right mind would go on a date with you.” Waving to him, she left the room- looking smug with herself. Drake assumed that she was lying about the aftershave, after a while he walked into the bathroom- it was indeed missing. There was however a lingering smell of it, as if it had been sprayed.

“Fucking bitch!” Condoms were scattered around the bathroom, each filled with different things such as; shampoo, shaving foam, toothpaste and Drake’s aftershave. Cleaning the mess up, he wasn’t sure as to why he was doing this- she made it, so she should do it. But he didn’t have time to argue, he needed to complete some work today. When he believed that he had finished, his eyes filled with anger as he looked into the mirror. Riley had left him a message on it with what he assumed was lipstick as well as a ‘kiss mark’ - his teeth grit together as he read the message.

Don’t fuck with me Drake, this is only the start! Be nice, and I’ll be the most sweetest roomie. Ri 💋

“Enjoy your hangover and work Riley, because when you return home later- I’m going to get payback.”

[nightsysdoesart]

yeah so

so i had a mental health crisis last night and didn’t go to bed until after 5:30 and i wrote this sort of as a coping thing. it was really cathartic, but as you might guess, it’s really depressing. tws in the tags

The first 1k words are some fluff and the last 1k are all depressing. I pulled most of this from my real life, with some changes (obviously. i mean, i am sitting here typing this) yes the people in this are based off people i know/knew irl

reader discretion advised, this is really sad and upsetting. i just wanted to post it to get it out of my saved writings that never see the light of day. plus i spent all night on this.

2241 words

She’s talking, hands flapping excitedly as she infodumps about butterflies and moths, lepidopterans, she calls them. She’s loud and expressive and bubbly, the opposite of me. Maybe that’s why I love her so much. Love. What a crazy thing, the chemicals in your brain firing in such a way when you meet the right person that you’re willing to do anything for them. People pass on the sidewalk in front of us, and kids play on the playground behind us. Leaves crunch under their feet, and our breaths are visible in the cool autumn air. Laughter and chatter echo through the park.

Her curly hair shines in the dying afternoon light. It seems to be getting dark earlier and earlier. Her eyes are bright, though. They shine with excitement as she tells me about the coloring patterns of poisonous butterflies, how they warn animals away, and how some non-poisonous species mimic the poisonous ones to survive. I feel my lips curve into a smile, her enthusiasm infectious. My eyes snag on her mouth, moving quickly as she speaks so fast I can barely keep up. Her lips, always so quick to tilt into a smile, make everything out to be the best it possibly can be. Always so quick to offer reassurance and a positive comment. The best part of this world I’ve been condemned to.

Police sirens startle both of us, her hand flaps turning nervous as she goes silent. They fade into the distance, and I quickly sign to her, trying my best to reassure her. It takes a few minutes, but her breathing goes back to normal. I sign and question, and she nods. I put my hand on her shoulder, hoping to reassure her with touch. She turns to me, looking at my shoulder as I watch her chin. It starts to wobble after a second, and I gently pull her into my arms as she collapses into my chest. I play with the ends of her hair as she sobs, coming down from the adrenaline shock of fear.

I press my eyes closed as a breeze comes through, threatening to make my eyes water. She shivers, and I wrap my arms more fully around her, dipping my chin to lean my head on her. Her hair smells like her hair products. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s inexplicably her. Through both of us adjusting to get more comfortable, she ends up in my lap. Her shaking slows down, and she looks up at me. I offer her a small smile and cup her cheek with my hand. She leans into it and closes her eyes, being absolutely adorable. I clench my gut at the onslaught of emotion I feel when her lips curve into a small smile. She looks happy and content. With me. Because of me.

But I can’t keep this up. I can’t keep her safe. Not from everything that’s going on. Not from the world that will keep hurting her, for no fault of her own. I can’t protect her, keep her smile on her face. I will inevitably fail. This is a situation I can’t succeed in. I’m bound to disappoint her. I don’t want to fail her; she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If only I could do better, be better, then I could make sure she was never sad or in pain. If I could do more, I could make sure she didn’t have to deal with racists, misogynists, queerphobes… I could make her happy, always. I could make sure the smile never left her face and make sure she had everything she ever wanted.

Her eyes flutter open, catching on my ear. She asks a question I don’t fully process. She noticed me tensing up, drifting away in my mind. I shrug my shoulders, wanting to savor this moment with her rather than dive into it right now. She seems to understand, falling silent again. This time, it’s a comfortable, companionable silence. She leans her head against my shoulder, and I rub her cheek with my finger. Sometimes the world gets so fast I forget to stop and appreciate what I have. What I don’t deserve. What I won’t always have.

I press a kiss to the crown of her head and feel one of her arms disentangling from around me to happy stim. I suppress a smile and press another to her forehead, another to her nose. She lifts her head a bit, guessing my next question. I still ask, though. I tap the corner of her mouth with my pointer finger, and she nods, smiling and happy stimming a bit more. I grin, feeling my mouth go lopsided as I close my eyes and press my lips to her.

Every time feels like the first time.

Nevermind the facts that it’s only been a handful of times. I will treasure every kiss I get from her. They are gifts, and I can’t be more grateful. Kisses from her feel like how looking at outer space feels when you’re in an area with low light pollution. I feel simultaneously small and in awe and wonder of how something, someone, so amazing could exist. And I have the honor of being here, at this moment, to experience it.

It doesn’t feel like the fireworks and explosions I’ve read; it feels like a quiet night where you might see a shooting star, but even more importantly, you’re sitting on a blanket with the one you love as the sky blazes purple and blue with twinkly lights here and there. I learned all about the constellations when I was younger, but I can’t sign to her while she looks up. I wish I could infodump to her the same way she does to me. I wish I was verbal like her; I wish I could take the words in my brain and put them in other people’s ears.

Her phone goes off, buzzing against my thigh as we separate. Her face dims as she reads the text. She lets me know she has to go as she stands and collects her bag. I stand up too, opening my arms as an invitation for one last hug. She takes me up, wrapping her arms around my midsection. I lean down a little to rest my head on hers, closing my eyes as I savor the moment. She pulls back, and I mirror, expecting her to leave, but she surprises me with another kiss. I happy stim as well, thumbing the spinner ring on my finger as I kiss her back. I try to memorize the feel of her lips on mine, her hands on my back, her curly hair in my fingers, our bodies pressed together- nevermind the fact I won’t have the memories for too much longer.

I do my best to make her last memory of me a good one. We break apart and I sign to her how much I love her, no matter what. She smiles and signs back, still learning. She waves goodbye and heads down the street to her apartment. I picked this park for our last meeting place so I wouldn’t have to worry about her getting home safely. This city isn’t as bad as others, but there are always bad people. I watch as she strides confidently down the sidewalk, a look I’ve seen more and more on her as we’ve been together longer. She’s grown so much, gotten so much happier- which is why I need to do this before I ruin it. Before I hurt her like I always do with those I love. Once she’s out of sight, I head back towards my apartment. It’s several blocks away, and I use that time to run over my plan in my head, to ensure that there will be no hiccups. I switch my music to instrumental and try to relax.

It doesn’t work, though, as I fumble with my keys and nearly drop them trying to get my door open. My hands are shaking so badly it takes me four tries to get the key in the lock. What am I, scared? No, I’m ready for this. I’ve come close many times, but this is the time. I’m going to do it tonight.

I swallow a handful of ibuprofen and down another glass of water. I’ve been drinking a lot more water than I usually do the past few days. Sparkling water, of course, I have sensory issues with plain water. I turn on the spout in the bathtub, getting it warm but not too hot. I grab some candles, lighting them to help me feel more relaxed. I put a bath bomb in the slowly filling tub for the same reason. Switching my music to the speakers placed strategically around the small space, I wander into the kitchen for a knife and sharpener. I change into a swimsuit because fully clothed would feel weird, but my dysphoria is bad enough to unsettle me right now.

Moving to the bathroom, I sit on the edge of the bathtub with my feet in the water as it slowly rises. I work on sharpening the blade as my hands shake uncontrollably. I sigh, setting down the knife and sharpener to move to the kitchen. It takes a minute of digging, but I find the bottle of vodka I had put back there in case I needed it. I squirt a ton of water flavoring in; I’ve never loved the flavor of alcohol. I take a sip and put in some more flavoring.

Making my way back to the tub, I find that it’s mostly full. I set the blade on the ledge of the tub and slide in, sighing at the warmth. Picking up the vodka bottle that’s now filled with green liquid, I take a big gulp, the liquid burning as it goes down. I keep sipping as I think. I let my mind fill with thoughts of her as the tub finishes filling with water. I push the remains of the bath bomb around with my finger, watching the colors trail out of it. Rainbow colors, like the colors of all the dresses she wears. Rainbow colors, like all the colors she’s dyed her hair. Bright and wonderful, like her. 

She’ll be happier with me gone. She’ll be able to find someone new, someone who can say “I love you” out loud. Someone who can infodump verbally, someone who can do all the things I can’t. She deserves someone more, someone who is better. She’s better off without me; the whole world is. With that in mind, I pick up the knife and start cutting. Right arm first. I dig in, barely feeling the pain. It’s bleeding a lot, which is good. But I can’t really see if I’m cutting in the right place or not, so I just keep pressing the knife in deeper until it hurts too badly to continue. I don’t know if I hit the artery or not, but it’s bleeding pretty heavily, so I’ll leave it at that. I dunk my hand in the water, watching as blood swirls and dissipates in the water. More blood comes out of my wrist immediately, which is a good sign.

I switch my knife to the other hand and immediately drop it into the water, my hand wet and slippery. I fish it out and dry my hands off with the bath towel hanging on the wall. I sip some more alcohol, hoping to get deeper on my other wrist. I take a deep breath and check the time on my phone. Good, I have plenty of time before my roommate will be home. I pick up the blade again and start on the other wrist, the shaking worse than before. Now, I feel every little movement in my right wrist, and it’s not responding normally; I think I nicked the tendons in there. My usual coordination is gone, and I’m glad I did my non dominant hand first.

I’m getting kind of lightheaded, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I just keep going. I’m not going to let some dizziness stop me. I’m doing this, and I’m doing it now. 

Spots swim in front of my eyes as I start breathing faster, almost like I’m hyperventilating. I try to remember my breathing exercises, but I can’t remember what counts they were. Was it four in or seven in? Why can’t I remember? I’ve literally used this same exercise for most of my life. Am I? What am I… ? Something slips from my hand, there’s noise in the background. A splash and noise, radiating pain and- what’s going on? I just wanted to hit quit. Why do I have to put so much work into it?

My head drops, and I can’t keep my eyes open. Am I? Why am I in the bathtub with my swimsuit? There’s a noise that won’t stop. I know it from somewhere. Over the throbbing of my head and the sound of my breath, I hear the front door unlocking. Why is my roommate home so early?? Oh well, they’ll leave me alone for a little bit. I can’t see anything; the pain is gone, there’s nothing to sense. The sound bounces in my head. The video chat ringtone I set for her, echoing off into the void.

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Silhouettes: Returned

Prompt: William Nylander, Sequel to “Silhouettes” For: anons Warnings & Tags: sad beginning, creepy creeper being creepy, happy ending Word Count: 2328

It had been three months since The Incident, when Kappy mistakenly assumed you and William were dating. Willy was your best friend, you had great benefits with that friendship, yeah, but it was different now. Now you didn’t know what you wanted, what he wanted, and all the things you’d loved about being with him, the low pressure relaxation with someone you could talk to anything with, it was gone. You were a full-time student. He was a full-time hockey player. The both of you were too busy for pressure.

So you eased off.

You kind of hated yourself for the way you went about it.

You didn’t ghost him exactly, but it was definitely ghost-adjacent.

You figured you could blame it on essays due, then exams, then his playoffs, but those were all done a month ago and still, your answers were so infrequent that he seemed to have stopped trying.

You told yourself it was better that way, that this was best for both of you, but some nights, when you were feeling particularly vulnerable and honest with yourself, you could admit how much you regretted it. There was a big, blond, floppy-haired hockey player-sized hole in your chest.

You missed him.

Maybe it was too late, now. It probably was.

The universe, it seemed, had other ideas.

---

You were only taking one summer class and, as busy as it kept you, you still had a modicum of free time. The weather had been beautiful lately, and you kept seeing your friends send snaps of this beautiful bar with outdoor seating and great-looking tacos. It was a late afternoon on a Thursday. They shouldn’t be too busy, you figured. So you put on a flowy, comfortable yellow sundress, a floppy hat and sunglasses, and decided to treat yourself in this warm weather.

You were glad to see your prediction was true. The restaurant wasn’t too busy, with quite a few of their outdoor tables still available. You were seated quickly, ordered a margarita on the rocks, and just basked in the beautiful day.

Your basking lasted all of fifteen minutes before there was a large shadow blocking your view. You blinked up at some smarmy-looking dude, smirking down at you. You used your menu to cover your cleavage and scowled up at him.

“Can I help you?”

“Sorry to bother you,” the guy said looking absolutely not sorry at all. “Seems I’m looking for a place to sit here. It’s filling up fast. You mind if I keep you company?”

You looked around at the obviously empty tables around you, maybe only a third of them occupied, then blinked back up at him.

“I do mind, actually,” you said calmly, though you internally started to panic. What if he didn’t take no for an answer. “I’m waiting on someone.”

You pulled out your phone, trying to text your friend Winslow. She lived nearby. You sent your location to her, followed by an ‘SOS creepy dude. Rescue me and I buy dinner’.

The guy scowled down at you, obviously wanting to say more, but the waitress came over, clearly sensing an issue and put herself between you and the creep. You gave her a relieved smile.

“Hey,” you said to her, before the guy could speak up. “This guy was looking for a table. And can I get an extra menu for when my friend gets here?”

The waitress nodded, winking before she grabbed another menu for you, then she turned to the guy. “Come on, sir. We just cleared a booth inside for you,”

Your shoulders relaxed as the waitress led him away. Twenty minutes later, you spotted him at the bar, trying to make eye contact with you as the waitress brought a refill on your drink. You opened your phone to see if Winslow texted you back and your heart fell into your stomach at your notifications.

You clicked through, hoping it was a mistake.

You had accidentally texted William instead.

And his response came not even a minute after you sent your message. “On my way.”

He didn’t really live close by, and you started to text him back, telling him that he really didn’t need to, when you spotted him, rushing over to you, breathing heavy like he’d been running.

“Are you ok?” he asked immediately, eyes wide and concerned and you sighed, pushing out the seat across from you for him.

The waitress stuck her head outside and tilted her head at you, obviously concerned again, but you gave her a reassuring smile. Willy wouldn’t be a creep. And you were the idiot for texting the wrong person.

“You didn’t have to come. I meant to- I meant to text Wins. She lives like a block away.”

Willy’s face fell. “Shit. I can-”

You shook your head, remembering the guy at the bar, and then, with a little more sadness, the way you’d been treating Willy the last few months.

“No,” you sighed. “Stay.”

---

Five minutes later, Willy had a matching margarita and the awkward silence had grown so deep that you were shifting in your seat at the discomfort of it all.

He hadn’t looked at you since he arrived.

You felt horrible.

You blinked, taking a deep breath. You knew you owed him an apology at least. And probably an explanation. And then you both could move on or whatever you both wanted to do.

“I’m sorry,” you finally said, pushing your margarita away a little. The waitress arrived with your food and he ordered his, and you let that ‘sorry’ hang between you in the meanwhile.

As soon as the waitress walked away, Willy looked at you. Properly looked. And you could read the sadness there so well it was like you hadn’t spent months avoiding him. You still knew him.

You still missed him.

“For what?” he croaked, not bothering to hide the bitter bite to his words.

You winced. You deserved that. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“Ghosting me,” he corrected.

You nodded, allowing him that. “It’s not an excuse,” you said quietly. “But I was scared.”

William put his drink down, blinking at you in shock. Like that wasn’t what he expected you to say. “Scared?”

You nodded, a lump in your throat.

“Why?” he continued. “What did I do? Like… fuck. I don’t want to bother you or be creepy or unwanted or whatever, but I just want to know what I did, y/n.”

Sighing, you fiddled with your sunglasses, trying to find something to do with your hands. “I just… That day. With the smoothies.”

He nodded, thick arms crossed over his chest. He leaned back in his chair, taking you in with an obviously forced calm.

“Kappy thought we were like… together,” you said quietly.

Willy sighed. “And rather than talk it through with me, you decided to run?”

You put the sunglasses down, rubbing your temples as you nodded. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “I freaked out. I- I liked what we had. You’re busy and I’m busy and what we had was good and it wasn’t stressful and there wasn’t any pressure and I was happy and then all of a sudden there was all this pressure.”

“And you weren’t happy,” William filled in, voice still hard.

“I was scared, William,” you shot back. “I was scared because there was suddenly too much pressure and expectations and it stopped feeling like just me and my best friend. There was all this subtext and just-”

“Pressure,” he finished.

You nodded sadly, swallowing around the lump in your throat.

“So you figured, you could just burn it all down, then, right? Just… screw it up ahead of time before it had a chance to get screwed up?”

“Listen,” you said, a little tired of being made to feel small. You already were angry at yourself for this. You already were sad about this. Him making it worse when you just needed to explain didn’t help. “I’m trying to explain. If you want to berate me afterwards, and make me feel shittier than I already do, go ahead, but let me finish first for fuck’s sake.”

Willy nodded. “Yeah. Sorry,” he said quietly, but the corner of his mouth twitched. Like he was going to smile.

“Is something funny?” You scowled at him, grabbing for your margarita.

He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, then sighing. His smile was soft, fond. And it ate at your heart. “It’s just… that was you again. That was- I missed that.”

“Me yelling at you?” you raised an eyebrow.

Willy shrugged. “You just… getting all worked up about something. You’re always passionate about something and I just- I missed that…”

Your shoulders slumped. “I missed you.”

Your quiet admission seemed to stop him for a second, then he reached out and put his hand over yours. You were glad he didn’t question it, try and make you feel worse, like you didn’t miss him. Because you know you fucked up. And you know you missed him.

“Can we just-” you continued, flipping your hand over under his so you could link your fingers with his loosely. “Can we start over? Be like we were before?”

William looked at you, his eyes wide and earnest.

“No.”

You stilled, feeling your body tense up again, but he ran his thumb over the back of your hand once and you tried to relax into the familiar, and very much missed, feeling.

“No?” you repeated back, confused.

“No,” he said again. “I’m gonna… Ok, all cards on the table here, y/n. I wanted that. What Kappy thought? I wanted that. A lot. I still… uh… I still do.”

Your shoulders tensed and you could feel all those pressures start to sink you again, but he kept hold of your hand and squeezed, before continuing.

“I just… I know you said you don’t want the pressure, but why can’t we be in a relationship and still be us?” he asked simply. “Why can’t we do the same thing as before, just with a different name. We were good together, y/n. Like a team. You were happy and I was happy. Why would we change that? We just call it what it is. Because I don’t love you any less as friends than I do right now or if we were together. I still love you the same. I’m still the same me. If you weren’t the same you, I wouldn’t want this.”

You blinked a few seconds, and you could see exactly when the hope started to drain from his eyes.

“Please,” he said quietly “Did that make sense?”

Slowly, you nodded. You hadn’t thought of it like that before. You thought, dating, the title, meant that you’d have to put your school on a lower priority, that he’d be too busy with hockey. “We wouldn’t have to change?” you repeated. “Because I can’t- I have school and you have hockey and we’re both so busy and-”

“No change,” he assured you, squeezing your hand again. “Just you and me. I trust you. I hope you could trust me. I don’t need hours long conversations every night. I’m cool to just text you stupid memes and talk when we both have the time, around my hockey and your school.”

“And you wouldn’t… like… I don’t know… resent that, or whatever?” You were putting your insecurities right out there for him. You owed him that much. And what he was saying… if he meant it… well it didn’t sound like the worst idea.

His face went all soft and he gave you that smile that made his eyes go all crinkly in the corners and you felt a warmth settle through you. “The only thing I’d resent,” he said quietly. “Is if you felt like I forced you to put your life on hold. I knew your priorities going into this. I knew your schedule and all the shit going on in your life when I fell in love with you.”

Love. Wow. You were surprised at how easy that felt to hear. “I’m not-” you said quietly. “I don’t know if I’m ready to say that yet. But um… I want to. Eventually. And I… I’d like to try this.”

You did care for him. And you missed him. And you knew you’d be doing a fair bit of trying to make this up to him, but he was being a lot more understanding than you’d ever have expected from him. You weren’t sure you deserved that, but it meant a lot that he trusted you like this. That he wanted this despite what you’d done, how you’d treated him.

“I know I need to get better at um… at communicating. I might not be like… great at it… like immediately or whatever,” you continued. “But I’ll try. And I won’t shut you out again. But if I start to like… pull away, just… remind me?”

Willy was blinking at like you like you weren’t real and you were a little concerned, until he finally got up, stepping around to your side of the table and dropping into the chair next to you. He cradled your face in his hands and you leaned your forehead against his, just breathing in his air for a moment.

He still didn’t say anything.

“So… we’re uh… good? We’re doing this?” you asked, a nervous giggle escaping your lips.

“Yeah,” he croaked and you saw his grin, wide and bright. “We’re doing this.”

“Maybe this time tell Kappy to get some boundaries, maybe, though?” you teased, leaning forward just enough to brush your lips over his. It was electric and right and you realized how comfortable it was with him. You didn’t need to skew your ideas of what worked to be in a relationship with him. It worked just as it was.

“No promises,” he laughed against your lips.

[anarcoqueer1994]

Please Don't Go: Chapter 3

Another chapter in my post costume day fic. I will be posting another chapter of my Trans Tarty story soon. Let me know if you want to be on a tag list for either.

Yesterday had been one of the best days Cyrus has had in a long time. TJ, his sweet, oblivious, gorgeous boyfriend, took him on a real date. They even held hands...in public! As he lays in bed, letting the morning sun shine on him from his window, it's all he can think about. He can't believe anyone could care about him so much.

Every wall TJ has ever put up, he let Cyrus tear down. He even let Cyrus help him with his fear of thunder. He knows how proud TJ could be so Cyrus knew that this was a big deal. In fact, anytime TJ let Cyrus see his vulnerable side, he knew it was a big deal. He could not get over how happy TJ made him feel. TJ captivated Cyrus with everything he did.

He picks up his phone and stares at a text from last night. It had started storming again around 11pm, and without a second thought he had sent TJ the playlist from the museum with a short note.

Cyrus:

"Songs That Make Me Think of TJ"

In case you need this <3

TJ:

Thanks Underdog.

TJ:

Can I FaceTime you? I kind of rather hear your voice…

TJ:

You don't have to though. I'm sorry.

Cyrus:

Don't be sorry. Of course you can.

Moments later, he got a video call. That's how they spent the next few hours, with TJ under a blanket with headphones on, just listening to Cyrus talking about anything to block out the the thunder rumbling outside their windows.

Cyrus keeps smiling as he sits up in bed to get ready for the day. He blushes to himself as he thinks about TJ's cute text. He actually said he wanted to hear Cyrus' voice. Cyrus can't help but gush over TJ. How could he be so lucky?  He considers sending a good morning text to TJ but decides against it. He knows his boyfriend likes to sleep in most weekend mornings and really does not want to bother him. So he throws on his clothes and gets ready for the day.

**********

After breakfast, Andi had called Cyrus to see if he wanted to hang out with her, Amber, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty. They were going to spend the day at Andi's, maybe watch some movies and order pizza. Of course he accepted, but part of him was a bit disappointed that he couldn't invite TJ. Obviously with the exception of Amber, none of them liked TJ. They only tolerated TJ at school because he was Cyrus' friend.

Cyrus actually feels really guilty towards TJ. He wishes his friends would be kinder to the older boy. He sees the way they shoot him looks; he is not blind. He knows they are being protective, but he does not need babysitters, he needs friends  When they are all hanging out together, he tries to ignore those looks and focus his energy towards TJ. Most of the time he gives him gentle, apologetic smiles to counteract his friends' negativity. He never wants TJ to feel bad and he hates that his friends are part of the reason he may. Even Andi, who has a crush on TJ's big sister, won't let up on him.

One of the things that stuns Cyrus the most about TJ, is he doesn't complain about the way the GHC(and friends) treat him. Cyrus would understand if he did. They could be terrible towards him. He is a little worried that he is doing that so Cyrus won't feel bad. He knows his boyfriend always puts Cyrus' feelings before his own. He does this to a fault.

On more than one occasion, Cyrus has run into TJ at school, and noticed how sad the basketball player was. Whenever he asks about it, TJ promises that it is nothing, and puts on a big beautiful smile but Cyrus can see how the smile doesn't reach those green eyes. Cyrus knows that when TJ is truly happy, that happiness radiates from his entire face, like yesterday when he stared at Cyrus talking about every dinosaur in the museum. He can't believe how TJ could make him feel like he was the only one that mattered.

That is the problem though; TJ did not treat himself like he mattered. That's why Cyrus is convinced there is something happening at school that TJ is not telling him. He does not know what to do because he doesn't want a push him to talk though. One thing that is for sure, his friends are not making whatever it is better.

***********

In the early afternoon, he starts heading towards Andi's. It is mid November but it had been pretty warm, so he did not expect it to be that cold. He is only wearing a light button down. It's a little chilly when he gets outside but not cold enough to go back inside and grab a jacket.

Boy, did he regret that decision. By the time he reached Mainstreet, the wind picked up and he was shivering. He walks past the little supermarket on the corner when he spots a familiar tuff of dirty blonde hair. The older boy is examining some apples on a stand outside the store, trying to pick out the right ones. He doesn't notice Cyrus sneaking up behind him. Cyrus stands on his tiptoes and whispers "Boo" into the TJ's ear.

TJ spins around around and smiles as he sees Cyrus. Cyrus takes a moment to absorb how cute TJ looks right now. He does not have his hair done up with the usual copious amounts of gel. Cyrus likes it better this way. He likes the way little strands of hair fall on TJ's forehead. It reminds him of the night at the park when they first got together. He is wearing a pair of faded jeans with his blue basketball team hoodie, and a jean jacket over that. Cyrus thinks he can stare at TJ all day. He reminds himself that he should speak though.

"Hey Teej." He flashed the other boy a smile.

"Hey Underdog." *TJ fought everything inside him that wanted to pull Cyrus in for a hug. He couldn't help it. Every time he saw Cyrus, he wanted to touch him, even if it just to hold his hand.

"So what are you doing today?" Cyrus immediately feels dumb asking. Obviously TJ was shopping.

"Just picking up some things for my mom. We are going to bake some apple pie flavored muffins tonight."

"Bake? I didn't know you liked to bake."

"What can I say, Cy? I have layers." He laughs softly before continuing."It's kind of a thing my mom and I do together when it is just us. Dad is working 2nd at work tonight and Amber is going to be at Andi's for some movie night. I'm guessing that's where you're heading, right?

Cyrus nods his head slightly. He still feels bad going, knowing TJ was not invited. He really wants to hang out with his friends, but he also wants them to see TJ like he does. TJ was genuinely a sweet boy, albeit misguided at times. He has worked so hard to let the good come through. God, was he proud of TJ.

As if TJ could read his mind, he says kindly "Enjoy your friends tonight Cy, I'm okay. I promise."

"I just...I just think you deserve to be seen for who you really are…" Cyrus wants to say more but a small gust of wind blows, sending shivers through his body.

TJ notices Cyrus shivering from the cool fall air because of course he does. He notices everything about Cyrus. He slips off his jacket before pulling the hoodie up over his head. He puts back on the jacket and then hand Cyrus his hoodie. "Put this on, it's cold. I don't want you getting sick."

Cyrus cannot bring himself to argue with TJ. Plus he is pretty cold, so he welcomes the idea of warmth. The smaller boy slips it over his body. He likes the way that it smells. It smells citrus-y, just like TJ. He is not sure if it is the soap TJ uses or what, but whenever they are close together, he swears TJ smells like lemons. He takes a second to inhale the scent from the piece of clothing.

TJ blushes as he looks at Cyrus in his hoodie. The sleeves are too long and the hoodie is too big for his small frame, but TJ thinks he is adorable. Something about his boyfriend wearing his hoodie makes him feel so pleased. He always sees other sports players' girlfriends in their hoodies and letterman jackets. So giving Cyrus his hoodie felt so right. He says quietly "You look good in my hoodie...I think you should keep it for a while."

Cyrus' face is bright red at this point. He has to remind himself not to do anything to give them away. He settles on a soft smile as a response. TJ lets out a quiet laugh before saying "Better get going, Muffin. Text me later?"

"Yes of course." Cyrus says before turning around to head out. TJ's eyes linger on Cyrus a little longer before going back to what he is doing.

The rest of the way to Andi’s, Cyrus is smiling like an idiot. He can’t really explain why TJ has this effect on him, but he does. He pulled the hood over his head so he could literally be surrounded by TJ’s scent. He wants fill his entire world with this smell. It makes him feel like he is not alone, like TJ is with him, even when he is not.

Before long, he arrives at Andi’s front door. He forces himself to put on a nonchalant face before knocking. Andi comes to the door and lets him in. “Cyrus, took you long enough.” She laughs as she holds the door open.

By the looks of it, he is the last one to arrive. When he walks into the living room, Marty and Buffy are on the ground in front of the couch, talking about something that Cyrus really has no interest in. Jonah is on the chair in the corner, while Amber is on the couch next to an empty spot that Cyrus assumes is Andi’s. Cyrus takes a seat on the floor and faces the rest of the group.

“Hey Cyrus” Buffy says taking her attention away from Marty for a second. Her greeting is echoed throughout the room. Cyrus looks around at his friends. He loves them all so much and they are so wonderful to him. He tries not to let them see him frown as his mind drifts back to TJ. They all go back to what they were previously doing.

It is Amber who ends up interrupting his thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that my brother’s hoodie?” All the eyes suddenly turned to look him.

Crap. He forgot to take it off before he came in. He has to come up with a good cover. “Yea, I saw him on the way over here. I forgot my coat and I was really cold. I asked him if I could borrow his hoodie since he had a jacket. Honestly, it was pretty dumb of me to leave the house without a coat…”’

Buffy rolls her eyes. “Wow, TJ actually did something nice for you for once. Don’t get used to it.”

Cyrus didn’t know what to say, he did not want to give away too much and he knew he had to be careful what he said. Luckily, he did not have to worry about that right now because Amber piped up.

“Hey, I know you guys don’t like him but that is still my little brother so be nice.”

Buffy rolled her eyes even harder. Cyrus knew Buffy wasn’t Amber’s biggest fan either so he did not know if she would listen. For now though, Buffy seems to have dropped it. Jonah, ever spacey to what is going on around him, says “So when is the pizza going to be here? I am starving.” The room laughs and he just shrugs his shoulders.

**************

Cyrus should have known that Buffy was not going to drop the TJ stuff permanently. It was not long after the pizza arrived that she started at it again.

"I don't get it Cyrus, why are you still friends with that guy? I mean, he is not..."

Marty interrupts her. "Buffy, if he wants to be friends with him, isn't that his business, not ours?" Cyrus has never been more thankful for Marty.

She shoots back at him. "Cyrus is my best friend and it is my business when some jerk isn't worth being his friend." Andi nods is agreement.

Cyrus doesn't know what comes over him but he stands up and says louder than intended "Don't call him that! He is not just some jerk. He is a really great guy. And you know what else? He is so considerate and sweet. You don't know anything about him, Buffy. So just stop.

Everyone is quiet for a moment. They are all shocked by his outburst of assertiveness. To be honest, Cyrus was shocked by it too. He looks around at his friends' stunned faces waiting for someone to do something. Buffy takes a deep breath and stands up to be face to face with Cyrus.

"Cy, do you still like TJ?" She says in a quiet, understanding, voice. Cyrus doesn't know how to answer. In reality, he wants to just tell them all the truth. He wants them to know that he doesn't just like TJ but TJ likes him too. More than that, TJ  is his boyfriend. He wants to tell them all how happy TJ makes him, how even now, in this tense situation, his boyfriend's scent, enveloping him in the form of a hoodie, helps him feel stronger.

"I need some air, okay?" He manages to choke out. He knows Buffy wants to push more but he is grateful that she doesn't. He gets out of the living room and into the backyard.

He really doesn't know what to. His head is spinning as he sits down on the bench. Why is this so hard? Being with TJ is so easy. Why can't telling people be this easy? He knows it is not his right to out TJ so telling his friends now is not an option.

He really doesn't want to bother TJ tonight. After all, he is spending his night baking with his mom. But it is as if his fingers have a mind of their own.

Cyrus:

I don't know what to do.

TJ:

What is happening? Are you okay, muffin?

Cyrus:

Yea, I'm okay. It's just, I screamed at Buffy. She just called you a jerk and I lost my temper. Then she asked if I still had a crush on you and I panicked, and now I am outside like an idiot.

TJ:

Cyrus, I'm so sorry...I hate that you are feeling bad.

Cyrus:

I wish you were here

After that text, Cyrus does not hear anything. He hopes he did not weird TJ out by being too clingy. He is kicking himself for being so dumb. He sits outside for another 30 minutes and he is glad his friends let him be. He keeps staring at his phone in case TJ texts him back.

He finally collects himself enough to head back in and face his friends. He does not know what he is going to say but he will figure it out.

He walks back through the back doors to the living room. He is still lost in his thoughts so he barely notices his surroundings. He is not even looking up because he does not want to meet his friends' eyes. That’s why he is caught off-guard when he hears an unexpected voice say "Hey Underdog..."

Cyrus' voice catches in his throat. He can barely believe who he is hearing. He looks up from the ground to meet TJ's eyes. Then he quickly looks around at his friends who all look as confused as he is. He goes back to TJ's eyes. "You actually came..." Cyrus thinks back to the last text he sent.

"Of course, I came." TJ beams at the younger boy. TJ had shown up a few minutes prior. Andi had answered the door. She was not expecting him but let him in anyways. He was just about to head outside to look for Cyrus. TJ continues to stare into Cyrus' eyes. They are in their own world again. Cyrus feels his heart flutter in his chest. TJ dropped everything to be here for him. How could he be so lucky?

As usual, Buffy is the first to break the silence. "Okay, what is going on between you two?"

Cyrus bites his bottom lip and silently asks TJ with his facial expressions for permission to say out loud what he wants to say to his friends. TJ nods his head slowly and Cyrus feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He mouths "Thank you."  Without removing his eyes from TJ, he says in a shaky voice "TJ is my...boyfriend." He feels it get harder to breathe as his chest restricts. He knows that this is also difficult for TJ but once again, TJ puts Cyrus' feelings first.

Everyone in the room stares in shock at the two boys.No one quite knows what to say. The air is thick and Cyrus could practically cut the tension with a knife. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees everyone's faces. Buffy, Andi, and Jonah all have mirrored looks of surprise on their face. Marty looks kind of clueless, which Cyrus expected.

But it is Amber he appreciates the most right now. She is smiling over at her brother. TJ is so focused on Cyrus, that he doesn't notice her but Cyrus does. He is so thankful that someone else really cares for TJ. He focuses his attention back to his boyfriend. As soon as sees his face, he melts. TJ is practically glowing as he smiles at Cyrus.

TJ steps closer to Cyrus. He moves so he is at Cyrus' side, grabbing his hand. He squeezes his hand gently, urging Cyrus to continue on. He clears his throat and begins to talk, this time in a way more confident voice.

"TJ and I started dating a month ago yesterday. It’s been the best month of my life. He even took me to the Natural History Museum yesterday, on like a real date.  TJ treats me like I'm important."

TJ interjects "Because you are important, muffin." He blushes when he realizes he said that out loud. Cyrus smiles even bigger. He runs his thumb over TJ's knuckles. Buffy looks like she is going to laugh at the overly cutesy nickname but Cyrus shoots her a look that makes her reconsider.

Andi steps up closer to the boys. She looks hesitant at first but then gives a small, nervous smirk. "That explains a lot...but I still don't get it. " She turns her head to TJ. "Why did you abandon Cyrus on costume day?" Cyrus goes to speak but TJ interrupts him. "It’s okay, Underdog... I want to be open with your friends..."

He pulls Cyrus to the couch so that they are sitting against each other. Their fingers are still laced together. The other kids sit down too, getting ready to listen. He takes a deep breathe. “It was Kira…she figured out I liked Cyrus…a lot. She had come up to me to ask about being on the boy’s team, and I turned her down. Cyrus had come up, and she seen how we interacted. At the time I was oblivious to how obvious I was about liking Cyrus. She made me feel bad for wanting to do a costume with a boy. She made it seem like people would know I was…gay if I did. It was dumb, I know. I was dumb. I understand why you all hate me, because I hated me after what I did. I kind of still do.” Cyrus looks at TJ with sad eyes. It kills him that TJ feels this badly about himself. He tries to focus on the rest of what the boy has to say.  “Cyrus deserves the best and it makes me so happy to know that you care for him so much.”

Buffy looks so angry. Cyrus is afraid of what she is about to say. He does not want her to still hate TJ. She spits out “How could she do that?! Oh god, I am so sorry, guys. I kicked her off the girls team, and she went after my friends…I can’t believe her! I’m sorry for the way we have been treating you, TJ.” She pause and thinks about something. She laughs to herself. “Who would've thought a year ago, I would be apologizing to you?”

TJ laughs back. "It's fine, you were only protecting Cyrus...I would of done the same thing."

Jonah chimes in. "So is Kira still bothering you, man?"

TJ gets quiet and Cyrus feels him tense against him. Cyrus turns to face TJ. "Wait...TJ is she? Is she doing anything to you?"

"It's nothing, I promise…"

"Teej, don't lie to me...please tell me. I see you sometimes at school, looking so sad. I never want to push you to talk when you are not ready, but it is breaking my heart knowing that someone is making you that upset. "

TJ looks around at the room. Marty speaks up "Look, if I know anything about this group of people, they will all go above and beyond for their friends, and that includes standing with them when someone is giving them trouble.” Buffy looks behind her at Marty and smiles.

Cyrus squeezes TJ’s hand and pleads with him. “Baby, please tell me if something is happening.”

TJ feels so vulnerable right now. He has worked so hard for the past month to hide this from Cyrus. He hates putting so much on the brunnette. Cyrus has already done so much for him, he really did not want to add to that. But now, here he is with his big brown eyes peering through TJ. The way Cyrus called him baby made his breath catch in his throat. Cyrus literally could make him putty in his hands. TJ could not possibly hide anything from him now.

He tries to keep his voice calm and as detached as possible. He does not want to come off as too emotional over this. “It’s really not that important. She just says some mean things sometimes…”  TJ tries to look anywhere but back at Cyrus. But it is no use. Everywhere in the room he looks, he sees a pair of concerned eyes looking at him.

Cyrus says tenderly “TJ, what kind of mean things does she say? “

“Just...just like..umm things to remind me that I’ different. She likes to point out how unfortunate it would be if my secret got out. She is right though, this is a small town and not everyone is that accepting.But  like she is threatening me for the fun of it. But she doesn’t have any proof so I think that is why she hasn’t outed me...us. Oh and sometimes she brings up cute girls in front of my teammates and asks me what I think about them.I  think she just wants to embarrass me. She gets some sick pleasure out of making people feel small. Or like...on Friday, she noticed I was struggling in math so she started basically calling me stupid. I did not even turn in anything to Coleman…” TJ was rambling and he was starting to speak faster. Cyrus could see how upset he was getting.

Cyrus pulled TJ into a hug, squeezing him tight, in an attempt to push away any hurt TJ was feeling. Cyrus was so beyond angry. How could Kira be so cruel? He never wants to see TJ hurting.especially when that hurt was caused by a senseless reason. Kira was a bully and for some reason, TJ was her target. It just wasn’t fair.

Cyrus could tell that TJ was getting uncomfortable around all these people. He knew TJ was trying to hold himself together and put on a strong face for them. As he hugged TJ, he whispered “Wanna go to the swings?” TJ  nods slightly as a response.

Both boys let go of each other as they go to stand up. “We are going to go, okay?” Cyrus gives them all a weak smile. Everyone understand and bids their farewells. Right before TJ walks out the door, Buffy grabs his arm. “Hey, you know we got your back, okay? We will figure out a way to handle Kira.” TJ gives her a little smile. ���Thanks, Driscoll.”

*************

It's about 6:30 when they get to the swingset. The sun is starting to set, and the park is pretty empty. TJ likes it that way. Now it can be just him and Cyrus. He takes a seat on the swing next to Cyrus’. “Hey Cy?”

“Yea?”

“I am glad we told your friends… 

“Me too...but can I ask you something?” The shorter boy asks meekly.

“Anything, Muffin.”

“Why did you change your mind about telling them? Was it just for me?”

“Well part of it was for you..” The blond says honestly. “But part of it was for me too. I was kind of hoping that...they could be my friends too. I know that sounds pretty lame but sometimes  I get jealous of anyone who has friends. Besides you, I don’t really have any.”

“That is not lame, not lame at all. And I think after tonight, you have a huge group of friends.”

Tj smiles at the thought of that. He clears his throat to continue speaking. “I really am sorry for not telling you about Kira. I just did not want you to worry.”

Cyrus looks around for anyone who may be watching. They might have come out to their friends but neither of them are ready to come out to anyone else. Their friends are pretty understanding people, but Shadyside could be kind of conservative. Not every kid, or even adult would be so kind to them. When Cyrus is sure they are alone, he twists in his swing to face TJ. He grabs the other boy’s hand.

“Teej, it is my job to worry about you. It is part of the whole boyfriend deal.. Think about it, You would want me to tell you if something was happening to me, right?”

“Yeah, of course!” *TJ says almost matter of factly.

“Well I feel the same way. Kira doesn’t get to bully my boyfriend and get away with it, you understand?” Cyrus says in a very controlled voice.

TJ nods.How could he be so dumb to believe that Cyrus wouldn’t want to hear about his problems, about his bully. God. He does not understand how Cyrus does it  He already thought Cyrus was attractive, but he has never looked cuter than right now. TJ took in the image in front of him. Cyrus’ face looked so confident as he spoke about standing up for his boyfriend. Adding to that, Cyrus was still in TJ’s hoodie. The sleeves were pushed up slightly and the hood was draped down the top of Cyrus’ back.

TJ reaches for one of the strings hanging from the hoodie, and plays with it as Cyrus stops talking and looks at him. TJ’s green eyes meet  Cyrus’ brown. He bites the bottom of his lip as he notices Cyrus’ eyes flicker down to his lips. He stands up from his swing and steps closer to the other one. As he stands over Cyrus, he leans down and cups the bottom of Cyrus’ chin with on hand as his lips press against the other boy’s.

It is like the world stopped spinning around them. TJ has never felt more connected to another person in whole entire life. He could stay like this for hours, if only he did not have to breathe. When they break apart, TJ goes back to his swing and sits. They spend the next few minutes in blissful silence, both of them lost in their own happy thoughts.

Unfortunately, neither boy realizes they were not alone in the park. Come tomorrow, their whole worlds are going to change.

@abg-blah

[theeternalspace]

walls that we repainted white 1/1

I had been in the Sanders Sides fandom for a little while before I started posting my own work. I read fanfics, I reblogged art. I even worked up the courage to speak to a few of you and made a wonderful friend in the form of @jittery-glittery

Thanks to her encouragement, a year ago today, I posted the first chapter of what would become the ongoing epic The Consequences of Sound. Without Flo, I don't think I would ever have posted a word. (Another chapter is going up later tonight)

I made more friends, I gradually started talking to other fanders and making friends like the awesome @i-will-physically-fight-you (who very kindly stepped in and let me break her heart while she checked my tenses for this ficlet) or the sweet and funny @romanticsanders. To name only a fraction of the lovely people I'm proud to know. I love you all and I wish I could list more but then this would be nothing but a list because I am so blessed. 

I also want to talk to a whole lot more of you and maybe one day I'll work up the courage. Social anxiety is hard as we all know.

Anyway, I wanted to do something special to celebrate my one year anniversary writing as well as still a little stunned that it had been a year already.

So I give you angst! Terrible, terrible angst. This is part of a story I've wanted to write for a very long time now and is in fact from the middle of the plot. It would eventually have a happy ending but there isn't one here. If this gets a good response I will have to write the rest but I just needed to get this part out of my head right now.

You could also call this chapter one of a story with the history planned in flashbacks, should I continue it...

walls that we repainted white

Genre: Angst. Hurt, no comfort. Miscommunication to the max.

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Virgil/Roman. Human Au.

Warnings: Past injuries, hospital mentions, miscommunication, possible brain trauma.

Story and tag list below the cut!

walls that we repainted white

The clock on the wall was ticking.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

So loud that for a moment it was all that Virgil could hear, the steady monotonous tone of tick, tick, tick. It was even louder than his own heartbeat and he tried to time his own breathing to the beat, tried to will his racing heart to calm down. He needed to be calm but the only problem was that it felt impossible to be calm right now.

Not with Roman in the room with him, the other man examining the dirty plates in his sink as though they were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen in his whole life. Virgil felt his skin crawl, able to imagine all the thoughts that had to be running through the redhead’s mind as he stared at the evidence of Virgil’s laziness, of his disgusting life habits. Virgil knew he should have cleaned up, housework was a good way of gently exercising without pushing himself too much because there was always a comfortable surface whenever he got tired. It was a good workout for his brain as well, something slightly more mentally taxing than a mere walk, could he remember where everything went, could he put it all away without breaking anything?

Virgil had gone for a walk instead, had ignored all the not so subtle advice of his doctors and wandered out in the middle of the day without his phone.

He could see it sitting on the counter next to the dishes. It lit up as though on command, a text from Patton flashing up on the screen. The brief moment of light was enough to show him that he had multiple texts and missed calls from various friends. There are a few from a number that had no name attached, but Virgil knew the number off by heart.

He might have deleted Roman's contact info from his phone, but he had never gotten around to actually blocking him completely. Perhaps some part of him had wanted to know if Roman would care, if he would try and contact him or if he would let the friendship wither and die now that he revealed himself as the fair weather friend Roman really was.

He should block him completely. If only it was that easy in real life, if only he could press a button and not have to deal with Roman, never have to look at his stupid smug beautiful face ever again. Never have to hear him sing or the musical way in which he said his name. In Roman’s voice, his name became almost magical, imbued with far more power than it really possessed. Virgil often felt as though he could have committed any wondrous feat with the energy of Roman saying his name.

Now Virgil never wanted to hear it again. Not his voice, not his name. He wanted to block and hide Roman from his own memory and never be confronted by the inconvenient truth of Roman ever again.

Snap him out of existence.

No, not that. Virgil didn't want Roman to stop existing. His brush with the blind fury of fate had given him a new appreciation for life in any form. No matter how spiteful he might feel towards other people - and spite still made up about eighty percent of his thoughts - he wouldn't wish even his worst enemy to go through what he had done.

None of that changed the fact that despite deleting his number and ignoring him, Roman hadn't taken the hint. Strange considering Roman had ignored him first.

Apparently Roman not only tried to call but also tracked him down. Question answered. It didn't settle him - in fact it did rather the opposite, it set him on edge, made him stand stiff and to attention, aches and pains creasing deeper into his body and soul. His body was still so broken, held together by tape, determination and spite.

Virgil was so tired. The clock was ticking. They were breathing, both of them rather heavily and Virgil knew why he was so worn out and lost for breath but he couldn't start to guess what Roman had been up to, in order to warrant such heavy breathing. It was almost as though the other man had been running around although there was no reason for him to do such a thing, especially in the middle of the day.

He shifted a little, the crutch handle feeling slick with sweat under his fingers. It had been warm in the sun, so warm and Virgil had perhaps pushed himself further than he should in his impatience to be normal again.

To be whole.

It was as though he had run a mile instead of a small walk around the block. Logan would be terribly disappointed in him, but at the same time Logan should have known better than to expect anything better from the mess of a person that Virgil was stuck being. He hated the weakness that ran through his mind and body. An invisible crack on his soul that was breaking him further and further apart to go with all the physical damage that the... incident had caused him.

All his fault. The incident, the sleep that followed, the damage that he had to carry around on his back for the foreseeable future. Possibly for the rest of his life and Virgil could at least appreciate that the doctor hadn’t beat around the bush, hadn’t tried to sugar coat the pill or wrap the truth up in lies. He had been honest, brutality so, and Virgil hadn’t told Patton about those conversations.

Or Roman, but then he had no intention of ever sharing that information with Roman. He had no intention of ever speaking to Roman again and yet - and yet here they were in his kitchen, staring at the remains of last night's meal on dirty plates that festered in his sink. Virgil wasn’t ready to tell Patton either, but that was because he knew Patton would cry, would hug him and be so supportive. He would break Virgil with his kindness and Virgil would let it happen. Anything to try and make Patton feel better, even if it ripped Virgil’s soul apart in the process.

Logan, he strongly suspected, knew. Logan who was too smart for his own good, who had seen charts and overheard snippets of conversation, who knew all the medical jargon. Logan who would never bring it up first because of all the emotions that swirled around the topic.

At least Virgil could always count on Logan to want to avoid anything with unpleasant feelings because he didn’t know how to properly express them. His friend had emotions, felt more deeply than he would ever willingly admit to, but right now, Virgil couldn’t help but feel selfishly glad that he struggled to share them because it meant he got to avoid talking about it for a little while longer. The diagnoses swam in his mind, the words thick and black behind his eyelids with every slow blink.

Possible brain damage.

Tick. Tick.

“Virgil.”

His name sounded as though it has been spoken underwater, distorted and distant. Some part of Virgil wasn’t even sure if he heard it. Maybe he had just imagined it. He imagined a lot of things lately, his brain slipping like a disconnected call, the handset just gently humming to nothing and nobody.

A low level static where all manner of things could lurk.

His whole body was aching, screaming out as if on fire and begging him to sit down, to take the weight off. Virgil didn’t move though. He couldn't, not while Roman was in the room with him, not while he had to remain strong. As soon as Roman left, Virgil could collapse, could give in to the pain. He was long overdue another dose of medication, something his body was only too keen on reminding him. Virgil didn't know how much longer he could remain on his feet. The blackness of unconsciousness was calling to him.

It wasn't fair. He had spent so much time unconscious, nothing but a body in a bed and now that he was finally awake, he wanted to do nothing but sleep. More time forever lost.

Humpty Dumpty had a big fall.

Virgil didn’t understand why Roman was here at all, why he had belatedly decided to care.

When they had first met, Virgil dismissed him as a vain, shallow excuse of a man, someone who cared only for the illusion of the moment, who was delighted by the splendour, by the fireworks and emotion but not the hard work that came with anything real. At the first sign of trouble, Virgil had expected Roman to fade into the background. To some extent, he had been confounded by his own expectations.

Once, in the early days of knowing Roman, Virgil had been ranting to Patton and described him as nothing more than a vain crack of words with no substance behind them.

Later, Virgil had been ashamed of that first opinion, at being so quick to judge him after so long of being judged himself.

Now it seemed as though he had been right all along. The moment things had gotten hard - really hard, in a way none of them could have predicted - Roman had bailed. As though he had been the one with a parachute and all of Virgil’s other friends had hit the ground in the form of an uncomfortable hospital chair.

Didn't he already know that all the king's horses and all the king's men had failed to slot him back into place? Sending the prince after they already failed seemed like a fools errand because there was nothing else to be done for either of them.

“Well? What do you want?” He snapped, feeling the rage rise so swiftly and Virgil didn't want to do this. He didn't want to stand here in his kitchen, he didn't want to pick a fight with someone he had once thought was his friend, who he had once hoped could be something more.

Then again, he hadn’t wanted to lose seven weeks of his life to a hospital bed so it seemed as if what he might want was nothing more than another dream to go with all the other lost ones.

Tick.

“Virgil,” Roman tried again, his face pinched and sharp. Idly, Virgil wondered if that was the face Roman pulled whenever he tasted citrus fruit. He had always claimed the taste of lemons or limes were too unpleasant for him, that the sharpness cut through any other flavour, overpowering and ruining it.

That should have been Virgil’s first clue that his daydreams were simply not to be.

He was nothing but sour, nothing but tart.

How could he have ever possibly thought he would fit into the sweet honeyed world that Roman inhabited?

They were two different beings and they might as well have belonged to two different races for all that they had in common. It had been a miracle, a wonder, that they had gotten along for as long as they had, that they had been able to be friends for a little while at least before the shards of what they had dared to try to be rained down on them.

Still, he always just assumed that the crash would be his fault. That Virgil would do or say something unforgivable because he was good at that after all.

He hadn't expected to be abandoned by Roman when he was at his weakest, that the moment he had opened up and risked his heart by telling him how he really felt. It hadn't been the way he had wanted to tell him or any of the various ways he had imagined finally working up the courage to confess but that still didn't explain why Roman had been so cruel about it, why he had turned coward and run when Virgil had admitted his feelings.

Maybe if he had done it in a more romantic way, Roman wouldn't have crushed his heart so casually. Virgil had never thought Roman would be the type to take an offered heart and stab it with a needle. He would have thought Roman would let him down gently if he ever told him. He had pictured Roman being sweet and charmed and flattered before regretfully telling Virgil that it was never going to work between them.

Virgil never entertained any real hope that Roman might have liked him back, he knew life was no fairy tale.

Nobody was going to fall in love with the urchin child in the corner, the scowling, angry boy who was lost. Nobody was going to rescue him from his tower, nobody was going to search a whole kingdom looking for him based on one fragment of himself that he had left behind.

And nobody was going to kiss him awake.

He was already awake, in a world he no longer understood. Awake. He needed to stay awake. Just a little longer. Virgil blinked, the world snapping back into focus. The clock on his wall was ticking.

Tick. Tick.

“-ied. I was looking all over for you.”

Roman looked at him after he finishes speaking as though he expects - as though he expects something. Exactly what, Virgil doesn’t know. An explanation? An apology? His words sounded as though he had said a lot, a whole speech and that was what Roman was good at after all. Saying all the right things to get what he wanted without worrying about the damage he left in his wake. He had smiled and said all the right things to Virgil, he had caught him hook, line and sinker.

Until eventually he was done playing with him and had tossed him back into the sea. Now the siren was back, and had Roman changed his mind? Decided he wanted to keep Virgil dancing to his tune for a little longer? Didn't he know that Virgil no longer knew how to dance?

Virgil was just so tired. Too tired to try and soften the blow for Roman, far too tired to come up with a nicer way to say what he was thinking. The words that he had heard slice into his heart and soul, cut open a wound that has never even started to heal. Virgil can't even start to piece together what Roman might have said before because all he can focus on is the hypocrisy of what little he heard.

Roman hadn't cared to find him when Virgil had been still and silent in his hospital bed. He hadn't cared when Virgil had needed him and more importantly when the others had needed him. It was one thing to abandon Virgil - he had been unconscious, blissfully oblivious to the betrayal. It was quite another to do the same to their friends, to leave Logan, Patton and Remy struggling to hold themselves together. If nothing else, Roman should have been there for them.

He lifted his head, mismatched eyes meeting Roman’s gaze, his own for once focused, sharp and boiling. The rage had to be visible because Virgil no longer cared about hiding it. There was a lot he didn't care about anymore, lost under misery and the rising pain of his injuries. Roman needed to leave, because Virgil really didn't know how much longer he could hold on and he was damned if he would pass out in front of him.

Roman flinched before he actually spoke, almost as though he could peer into all the broken pieces that made up Virgil's psyche and see the storm that was brewing there. He still looked worried, almost concerned for Virgil and that makes him want to laugh until he cried. It was far too late for Roman to be playing that role again. The clock on the wall was ticking, his life draining away in relentless little seconds.

Tick. Tick.

Tick.

“I’ve been sitting still for nearly two months Ro... how hard did you look?”

General Tag List;

Send a message if you would like to be added to my general fic tag list however, please, please be aware that I use my general tag list for snippets, abandoned ideas, deleted scenes etc as well as actual complete chapters so make sure that is what you want to see from me.

@jittery-glittery @applecannibal @cookiethedevil @i-will-physically-fight-you@jemthebookworm @4amanxiety @plaid-purple-patches

[iambuckyrogers]

Let Her Go

Summary: After an unfortunate foot in mouth situation you and Bucky are torn apart. How will you recover?

Word Count: 1980

Warnings: almost smut? (Idk how to phrase it, it gets raunchy), mention of anxiety angst, breakup, some swear words,

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Authors note: this was written for @queenofkings121 . Sorry it took a little while, I started really well but hit a block, ugh! But it’s done now yay. I haven’t written anything like this before so I had a lot of fun trying out something new. I hope that you enjoy it! Likes and reblogs always appreciated xx

Prompt: Can you write one where Bucky accidently calls the reader Nat during sexual intercourse and she breaks up with him. He's been staring and talking about, talking to and just hanging out with Nat for awhile and him saying her name during sex was the last straw? Also, she ends up with another guy [non-avenger] and Bucky regrets letting her go?

* * * * *

The door to the bedroom banged open and hit the door stop sending a crashing boom through the corridor.

“Bucky,” you snickered wrapping your legs tighter around the super soldier’s waist.

“What? I needed to get the door open didn’t I?” He sassed back before dropping you unceremoniously onto the bed. Your laughs turned into moans as he began kissing your neck, nipping and sucking at your soft skin. You tilted your head up to give him better access, your hands wound into his hair and pulled gently as he continued his ministrations. He tugged at the hem of your shirt, pulling away from you just long enough to rid you both of your tops before crashing his lips onto yours in a heated kiss. It was all tongues and teeth, desperate and needy. Using all your strength you rolled so that you were now straddling Bucky’s hips. With a hand to his chest, you pushed him onto his back, moving down his body so you were chest to chest. You pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, eliciting a delicious moan which caused heat to pool between your legs. You sucked dark marks onto his neck, soothing them with a gentle kiss before continuing your trail down his chest. Your hands roamed up and down his sides, caressing his hard muscles with gentle fingertips before settling you grip on his hips. You kissed down his happy trail, mouthing at his clothed erection which drew another guttural moan from the man beneath you.

“Oh fuck yeah Nat,” he ground out. Instantly you froze, eyes snapping up to look at Bucky but he hadn’t moved, his eyes were shut, head thrown back in the pillows.

“You called me Nat!” You snapped pushing yourself up to sit back on your haunches.

“I - no I didn’t. I said just like that,” he spluttered.

“Cut the shit Bucky I’m not fucking deaf,” you yelled getting off the bed and feeling around on the floor for your shirt.

“Just calm down Doll, it’s not a big de-.” You cut Bucky off with a sharp slap to the face.

“Don’t you dare tell me it’s not a big deal,” you choked out, eyes stinging, fists balling at your sides. You yanked your shirt over your head and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you

The gym was empty, as you had expected because it was 2am after all. You made a beeline for the boxing bag, not even bothering to pick up gloves on your way through. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, hands clenching at your sides as you thought about all the warning signs that you had ignored. You opened your eyes and imagined the boxing bag was Bucky’s stupid face, throwing punch after punch onto the hard leathery surface. You thought about the last Thursday when you walked in on Nat and Bucky discussing your anxiety behind your back. You remembered how two weeks ago they were play fighting over the remote, ending up on the floor on top of each other. With each new memory, you were hit with a new surge of anger, fuelling your fists to hit the boxing bag harder. Your body was heaving and sweat poured off of your furrowed brow as you went to town, letting out all of your anger and frustration. More and more images came flooding back, Bucky and Nat having their own movie night, Bucky staring at Nat’s ass at the gym, the two of them hanging out more than you ever did with Bucky. Your anger slowly turned to sadness, your arms began to turn to lead, each punch harder than the last until eventually, you collapsed onto the floor. Tears streamed down your cheeks, you hugged your knees into your chest and let the sadness roll over you, suffocating you as sobs wracked your body. That was how you stayed until you felt numb and had no more tears left to cry. You pulled yourself to your feet and headed to your room. Not even bothering to shower you collapsed onto your bed and drifted into a restful sleep.

The sharp ring of your alarm pulled you from your sleep. Drowsily you got dressed and headed into the kitchen for breakfast. You prayed to whatever gods were out there that Bucky wouldn’t be around, but your silent prayers were left unanswered because as you rounded the corner you saw him stood behind the stove. You thought about turning around but why should you flee when he is the one clearly in the wrong. You pulled out a chair behind the breakfast bar and sat yourself down.

“Morning,” Bucky said cheerfully making you want to smack him again. He had turned around from the stove and was plating up his bacon and eggs.

“Mhm,” you grunted back.

“Listen, Y/N, can we talk about this?” Bucky asked.

“What is there to talk about James?” You spat, Bucky visibly shuddered at the use of his real name, it was something that you knew upset him so you used it to your advantage.

“Us, last night, everything really. I was talking to Nat about our situati-,” You cut him off with a crazed laugh, shoving yourself off of the chair causing it to clatter to the floor.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” you yelled, “she’s what got us into this situation,” using air quotes around the word situation.

“Ok let’s just take a deep breath.”

“Actually I will, and I’ll use it to tell you that we’re over, James. Go talk to Nat about that,” you stormed out of the kitchen not waiting to hear Bucky’s response. You needed to get away from him, put as much distance between you and your problems, so you headed down to the garage. Ignoring Friday’s warnings that it wasn’t safe to drive in your mood, you picked a car from Tony’s rather ridiculous selection, got the keys from the glove box and took off down the driveway. You didn’t know where you were going and you didn’t really care, you were just happy to be out of the compound.

It wasn’t long before your stomach began to growl. You got the GPS to take you to the nearest Starbucks because after your ordeal you deserved a good coffee. Thankfully the shop wasn’t busy, the line moved quickly and in no time it was your turn to order.

“Yeah hi I’ll have a -“ you blanked, not being able to say your order, it reminded you of all the times you and Bucky had gone to Starbucks together, how he would get a milk moustache and whipped cream in his beard. Tears sprung back to your eyes as you recalled your many coffee dates.

“Ah, sorry, are you alright?” the barista Joel (according to his name tag) cleared his throat as he looked at you with concern.

“I’m so sorry,” you sniffed wiping your eyes, “I’m ok.” Joel scoffed.

“No, you’re not”

“Well, you’ve got me there,” you laughed.

“I know its definitely not my place since I just met you but I get off in 5 if you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” He offered. You thought about his offer, he seemed genuinely sincere and you didn’t really have anyone else to talk to.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you stared and he looked slightly disappointed, “but I’d like to be distracted.”

“Consider it done.” You gave him a weak smile before going to find a spot to sit. Realising that you hadn’t even made an order you were about to go back to the counter when Joel appeared with two drinks in his hands and a beaming smile.

“I don't know what you drink but I hope this is ok.” He set one of the glasses in front of you before taking his place across the table. You took a tentative sip of the drink and were pleasantly surprised with how good it tasted. Much like the drink, Joel’s company was better than expected. He helped distract you from your problems for a little while before you decided to open up to him and he actually gave you some really good advice. You continued to talk for hours, only having to stop because the shop was closing. You exchanged numbers and headed back to the compound in much better spirits than when you left.

That wasn’t the last time you saw Joel. You texted frequently and even called each other occasionally. You went on a real date, followed by plenty more. You were finally happy and ironically you had Bucky to thank for that.

*****

While all of that had been happening, Bucky had been on a mission. After you stormed out of the kitchen he had burst into Fury’s office and demanded to be put on the first mission that came up, he needed time to think away from the compound. Fury had obliged, sending him on a reconnaissance mission somewhere in the middle east. This gave Bucky plenty of time to think. Time to think about all the things that he’d be missing out on without you in his life, to think about how lonely he was sleeping all alone, how you were the greatest thing to ever happen to him and how he threw it all away so easily. He spent the rest of the mission crafting a speech to give to you, to tell you how he fucked up and how badly he needed you in his life, how you gave him meaning and how he needed you back.

As the mission was nearing completion he was growing restless, needing to see you more than ever and rectify his mistakes. He had been gone 2 months by the time he got home. The quinjet engines had barely stopped spinning when Bucky launched himself off of the craft and into the compound, heading straight for your room despite it being 2am. Friday had tried relentlessly to get him to debrief, Fury and Hill were waiting for him but he didn’t care, the only thing he was thinking about was you. He banged on your door frantically, the speech he had crafted running around his head, adrenalin pumping through his veins. Eventually, you opened the door wearing a silk robe, the soft light from a bedside lamp shining behind you creating an angelic aura around your sleepy figure.

“Bucky, what the hell is going on?” you whispered, voice heavy with sleep.

“Y/N, I never should have let you go,” Bucky began.

“Buck-“

“No, please just listen to me,” he pleaded, his voice laced with desperation, “You’re all that I can think about, every waking moment is plagued with reminders of you and even in my dreams I can’t escape. I miss the way you’d play with my hair when we’d be in bed, or when you’d do silly impressions on missions to keep us entertained. I fucked up Y/N, I really did. I let the best thing I ever had go and I’m here to get it back, to get you back.” Bucky pushed your door open and entered your room, closing the distance between the two of you.

“Please,” he whispered, putting his hand on your cheek and leant in closer only for you to pull back.

“Bucky no,” you didn’t look him in the eye, he followed your gaze to your bed where a man was laid sprawled out amongst the covers. Bucky stumbled backwards as if he had been shot

“His name is Joel,” you explained quietly, “I’ve moved on Bucky, I think its time that you do too.” With that you shut the door, leaving Bucky to pick up the pieces of his broken heart like you had to do yourself 2 months earlier.

[jarienn972]

Curse of Undoings - Part 8

After a busy week, I finally got around to finishing this installment. This chapter ended up a little longer than I originally planned, even after taking out a huge section. I decided not go into a great detail about how Henry and Killian got from the mines into town so no one would get bored, but suffice it to say they’ll get there. Will they find help from Rumple or will they get caught? Don't expect things to be easy...

No major trigger warnings apply to this chapter, just a lot of angst and angry people - oh, and Gideon’s still a jerk.  

Tagging my whump-loving pals @hookaroo @killian-whump and @castielamigos and if you’d like to catch up from the beginning, you can find the story on AO3 or FF.net  

Tumblr: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7

Emma stomped back up the stairs to the main level of the Town Hall in a full blown rage, daring anyone to cross her path right now. She'd had the bastard in her clutches – shackled to a table, weak and bleeding and yet somehow, he'd managed to slip out of her dungeon unnoticed. In retrospect, she probably should have left Gideon in charge instead of the incompetent idiot who'd ended up asleep on the cement floor, apparently soundly enough to be stripped down to his boxers without stirring.

She'd have to contend with the guard's failures later though as she had other priorities to attend to. She needed to locate her wayward son and verify whether or not he'd been complicit with the escape, preferably before the prisoner would have a chance to completely corrupt her boy's fragile mind. She also needed to find the little weasel who'd helped Gideon shackle Jones. If he hadn't properly fastened the padlocks, he'd be held equally culpable in aiding a prisoner's escape. She'd have to contact him as soon as she reached the station, knowing she'd probably have to send text messages since the odd little man was so bashful that he rarely spoke to anyone. Of course, that same shy demeanor also made it highly unlikely that someone could have influenced him – even someone who was supposedly as charming as the legendary Hook.

She shoved open the door to the main floor and stormed through the hallways, eager to reach the exit and the refuge of her Bug before she completely lost her temper – or ran into the last person she wanted to see right now, Mayor Fiona. Emma made no attempt to disguise her dislike of the woman but she'd learned to keep their conversations curt and professional. She knew enough not to rile someone in a powerful position who could end her career in a heartbeat and Emma certainly hadn't moved to this god forsaken town to fail. Her parents had long ago urged her to come here, to have a better place to raise her young son than the slums of Boston, but look at how that had turned out. One fateful night a decade ago had changed her life forever when Killian Jones and his rowdy crew had sailed in to their sleepy harbor. Nothing had been the same since. She'd grudgingly taken over her father's post as Sheriff when no one else wanted the job and she'd witnessed her son slowly lose his grip on reality. Maybe she should have run back to Boston, and maybe she would yet – as soon as Killian Jones was put out of their lives permanently.

"Emma?" She heard her name called from the opposite end of the corridor and knew without looking that the voice belonged to Fiona. She wanted desperately to pretend she hadn't heard the Mayor summoning her but knew it would be pointless to try to avoid Fiona. Better to face her now than drag the agony out further. "Emma, I heard the awful news…" the Mayor continued as the clicking of her stiletto heels on the marble floor echoed loudly. So, Gideon had already called Grandma to tattle… "Is it true that your prisoner escaped?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Emma grumbled, not caring how unprofessional she might appear right now.

"Do we have any idea how?"

"I have absolutely no idea," Emma spat. "Gideon is heading up a search team to find our fugitive. We're also going to round up any former members of his crew and I'll grill them for information if I have to."

"You assume he had help?" Fiona pressed for additional information and Emma was smart enough to realize she was being baited. Fiona had seen Henry coming from the direction of the Town Hall so was it a stretch to think that Fiona believed Henry was involved?

"I'm assuming everything and I'm assuming nothing," Emma replied, keeping her response as vague as she could. "There's a possibility that he wasn't properly restrained. The locks may have been faulty or – yes – he may have had help. It's too early for me to speculate on that right now."

"Of course," was Fiona's polite, but disbelieving response that rang with an accusatory tone. "At this moment, though, I need to report another crime. Something was stolen from my office."

"Don't tell me that you think Hook stole something from your office in the middle of his escape from a prison cell?" Emma queried sarcastically, arching a suspicious eyebrow. Why would a fugitive waste precious time and risk getting caught just to break into the Mayor's office? "What exactly was taken?"

"It isn't anything too valuable, more of a family heirloom, so to speak."

"Any you're certain that this family heirloom was stolen, not simply misplaced?"

"It was on my bookshelf earlier today when you visited my office and when I returned from lunch, it was gone. My office was locked and I certainly didn't remove the object myself."

"Okay, well, at the present, I have far more important things to worry about than a vague missing knick knack," Emma asserted, eager to get back to work. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an escaped prisoner to find. I'm afraid your missing heirloom will have to wait."

"What if I were to say that I have a feeling the two crimes are linked?" Fiona offered. "I understand that you do have your priorities, but I'm asking that should you come across my belongings, please take great care with it. It's irreplaceable."

"Irreplaceable?" Emma doubted that was the case, but she'd play along. "May I ask what this irreplaceable object looks like so I'll know if I come across it?"

"It looks like a rather common snow globe, but it is very important to me. If you find it, please return it to me."

"Yeah, okay…," Emma sighed, wondering why a snow globe was such a big deal. "If I find your precious snow globe, I'll make sure you get it back."

"That's all I ask," Fiona said with a slightly devilish grin. "You'll see how much it means to me later."

Whatever that meant, Emma thought as the Mayor finally strolled away. How important could a damned snow globe be?

Henry peered cautiously out of the mine's main entrance, rapidly surveying the wide-open space ahead that they'd need to cross as their first obstacle on their way into town. He'd draped his own coat around Killian's shoulders like a cape, hoping to conceal the majority of the blood stains soaked through the back of the once tan shirt. It really wasn't much of a disguise, even paired with the navy blue knit beanie hat that he'd tugged over the top of Killian's head. At least the extra layers would help keep him warm, hopefully calming some of the tremors and shivering.

They'd discussed the route they'd take before stepping foot from the mines, choosing to follow the tree line past the MacDonald's farm then cut through the school yard. It was Saturday, so they weren't likely to encounter anyone around the school so it seemed far safer to head that way than towards the church where Henry had had the unfortunate run-in with Fiona. The school was only a few blocks from the pawn shop and Henry knew they could sneak through the alleys and between buildings to reach the shop, but they would still have to venture into the very public street to enter Mr. Gold's pawn shop.

Henry tried not to think about the huge gamble they were taking, both in venturing outside of the tunnel and in turning to Rumplestiltskin for help. The mere thought of the danger they were putting themselves in made him nauseous, but the teenager was determined to live up to his family's legacy. He could be a hero. He could find a way to break the curse and save his family, but first, he had to save Killian and unfortunately, that meant crossing into enemy territory.

They paused for a few minutes behind the maintenance shed at the school to allow Killian to catch his breath. It was only a couple of blocks further, but the pirate's aching body was slowing them down. To him, they may as well have been attempting to cross the entire continent instead of mere city blocks, but they kept vigilant as they headed into the proverbial lion's den. When at last they came to the narrow alley flanking the hardware store, Henry volunteered to go speak to his grandfather first while Killian took shelter in a seldom-used stairway that led down to the basement storage level of that same store. The steps, partially concealed by a brick wall, would provide Killian with a place to hide, although Henry feared that his stepfather might lose consciousness and tumble down the cement stairs to split his head open. Well, the safety of a hiding place was more important right now. If found, falling down a flight of stairs would be the least of Killian's problems.

"Try to stay out of sight," Henry whispered to Killian who nodded wearily in response as Henry headed down the alley toward Main St. alone, cautiously poking his head out around the corner and scanning both directions of the small town's primary road. Seeing no one he felt need to fear, Henry walked hurriedly to the entrance of Gold's pawn shop and opened the door, sounding the attached bells which would alert the store's proprietor. His heart was racing as he waited for his paternal grandfather, Rumplestiltskin, to emerge from behind the brocade curtain that separated the business from his private work space in the rear of the building.

Attired in his typical tailored dark suit, the Dark One appeared formidable as always and Henry suddenly found himself second-guessing this idea. "Henry?" Rumple greeted the boy with a quizzical glance. "What brings you here?"

"Uh… I may need a favor," Henry stammered. He needed to be certain that Rumple's real memories were intact before divulging any additional information.

"A favor?" the old man chuckled. "Well now… What brings this on?"

"Your mother's curse," the boy stated, quite matter-of-factly. He didn't have time to waste.

"My mother? Henry…" He was trying to play ignorant, but the teen knew instantly that he was attempting to lie.

"Don't patronize me!" Henry interrupted. "I know your memories weren't affected by the curse. I know it was you that she was talking to earlier today."

"And just how would you know that?" Rumple asked skeptically.

"That's my business," Henry replied boldly. "Suffice it to say that I know. What did she promise you anyway? Immunity to the curse? A way for you and Belle and Gideon to live happily ever after? And I'll bet you believed her…"

"Let's say that she did," Rumple began, interest now piqued by his grandson's persistence. "What does it matter to you?"

"It's the reason I need a favor. I need someone who can help break me the curse and to do so, I need someone who can help me stop my mom from killing Hook."

"Any why on earth would I want to do that?" Rumple chuffed. "Perhaps she'd be doing us both a favor?"

"Because if you don't, your mother is going to make all of the stories disappear! I know what she's trying to do, but if you don't believe me, see for yourself…" Henry lowered his backpack off of his shoulder and retrieved the storybook, flopping it open atop one of the display cases so Rumple would get a good view of it. He flipped to one of the pages that depicted a dramatic scene from Rumplestiltskin's own story – an image from his and Belle's early life in the castle. What remained of the illustration had dulled, the once vibrant colors now muted. "All of the stories are disappearing – even yours! Fiona wants to destroy True Love by having my mom, the Savior, murder her True Love in a fit of rage. Fiona's already trapped the rest of my family so they can't interfere, but you can help us."

"Help how?" Rumple queried as he contemplated the boy's tale. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time his mother had double-crossed him so there was no surprise that she might betray him again."

"Killian's hurt badly. He was tortured and beaten in a prison cell hidden beneath Town Hall. We need a place to hide him until we can figure out a way to free all of my family. No one would ever suspect that Captain Hook would turn to his mortal enemy, the Crocodile, for assistance. You're still the Dark One so you must have some way of protecting us?"

"I'm afraid I've no magic right now, laddie. Fiona's curse drained all of Storybrooke's magic."

"But you still have spells and the ability to make potions. I'm sure you can think of something. You don't want to see your story disappear so if you don't want to do this for us, do it for yourself – for Belle and Gideon. Because if your mother wins, everybody loses as all of your stories disappear!"

Rumple returned a bemused grin at the lad's fortitude, entirely certain that Fiona had vastly underestimated Henry's proclivity to meddle. "Where's the pirate now?"

"In the alley next to the hardware store. Do you think there's a way to get him into the shop without a chance of being seen?"

"Sorry, dearie. Afraid I don't have any invisibility spells available at this moment and without magic, I can't just teleport him over. You'll have to figure out that one on your own if you want my assistance."

Henry frowned in frustration but kept thinking. He hadn't exactly expected his grandfather to be overly helpful but maybe there was something he could do even without magic. "Any chance you have a cape or cloak or maybe something similar that I could use?" Rumple gave an apathetic roll of his eyes but reached inside a nearby armoire and retrieved a jet black hooded brocade cape that he offered to the boy. Henry barely gave the garment a glance as he snatched it from Rumple's hand impatiently and rushed out the front door. The cloak wouldn't help much but it might provide a little anonymity – even if Killian might end up looking like the hooded figure that had haunted his mother's dreams for weeks. Of course, she probably didn't remember those since she was now dealing with a new set of nightmares that Fiona had forced upon her.

Running out of the pawn shop with the cape clutched in one hand and the straps of his backpack – containing his precious storybook and the even more precious snow globe - held tightly in the other, a distracted Henry failed to notice that he wasn't alone in the street.

"Henry!" he heard a familiar voice shout his name, sending an instant chill down his spine. "Henry, your mom's been looking for you. I'm going to need you to come with me." He knew it was Gideon and he wanted to pretend he hadn't heard him, but he was too afraid to ignore even this fake deputy.

"It's okay. I was just over here visiting with Grandpa Gold. You can let my mom know that I'm on my way home now. I mean, I'd tell her myself, but my cell phone battery died so I can't call 'til I get home." Henry didn't even bother to take a glance back at Gideon as he responded.

"Sorry, kid. You know I can't do that," Gideon replied as he reached for the two-way radio clipped to his belt. "Sheriff, I've located your boy," he announced over the radio waves. Henry could hear her reply over the crackle of static. WHERE? "Main Street, by the pawn shop." BE RIGHT THERE was Emma's curt response.

A multitude of curse words swirled through Henry's brain as it panicked. He didn't need his mom here. Not now. Killian was too close and he was certain she'd already figured out that he'd aided Killian's escape. If she was pissed off with him earlier, she'd be on the verge of a full rampage by now and Henry was smart enough to realize that both his and Killian's lives could be on the line.

"I wish you hadn't called her," Henry mumbled as he shook his head, slowly turning around to face Gideon who he discovered was standing across the street, a few doors down from Granny's. His mother was only two blocks away so Henry knew he had just seconds to think up a plan. "So, are you going to arrest me?" he challenged the would-be deputy. "Or are you just jealous that I was visiting with my grandfather? You know, your father?"

"I should arrest you, you insolent little brat, but I promised your mother that I wouldn't harm you. Personally, I think she should just lock you up, maybe in the asylum where they can properly treat your insanity."

"I'm not insane! I'm one of the few people around here who actually knows exactly what is going on and yes, I know what the Black Fairy is planning to do! If I were you, I'd be getting worried because she doesn't care what happens to you. She only cares about herself! She's going to destroy everything – even you!"

"You have such an overactive imagination, Henry. You read too many fairytales…," Gideon sneered and Henry feared that maybe his biological uncle had simply spent too much time under the Black Fairy's influence to be redeemable. He might just be as delusional as his fairy grandmother.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Henry spat back defiantly.

"Didn't warn him of what?" Emma demanded as she stomped fervently towards her son, brow furrowed deeply and radiating pure fury. "Something I should know too?"

"Mom…," Henry stammered, searching for words that wouldn't further aggravate the already tense situation. "You don't know what you're doing…"

"I don't know what I'm doing?" Emma repeated as her son tried to avoid making eye contact with her. "I have a son who believes that fairytales are real, that a now-escaped murderer is really my husband and that his dead grandparents are still alive out there somewhere, but I don't know what I'm doing? Henry, this has to stop and if that means I need to put you back in that hospital, I will!"

"I'm not crazy, Mom!" Henry shouted, raising his head with new-found conviction. "I'm the only one here right now who's actually seeing the reality of this curse. This isn't you, Mom! You are not some revenge-driven maniac. You're the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. You're the product of True Love – the Savior, but right now, your head is all clouded with fake memories because of a curse. Yesterday was your wedding day and you were so happy – until Fiona cast her curse on the town. She trying to destroy True Love, Mom, and if you keep going down this path, you're going to help her do it."

"Henry, stop…" Emma insisted, but the teenager ignored her.

"No, Mom, I can't. You need to hear this – all of this! Grandma and Grandpa aren't dead, they're trapped in another realm by Fiona's magic. We can find a way to break this curse, to bring them back, but first, you have to believe me."

"Seems as though your boy is losing what little mind he had left," Gideon quipped from behind Emma, but she quickly spun around to face the deputy.

"This is between me and my son, deputy. Perhaps you should get back to work searching for an escaped prisoner and allow me to parent my child?"

"Yes, Sheriff," Gideon replied, shrinking back a few feet from Emma and stepping up onto the curb, taken aback by her lashing, but not yet prepared to actually leave the area.

As her deputy faded into the background, Emma returned her attention to her son. "I don't know what has gotten into your head today, Henry, but right now, you are going to head straight to the station and wait in my office or I swear, I will lock you in the holding cell myself!"

"I'm not going anywhere," Henry defied her orders yet again. He allowed the cape to fall to the sidewalk as he reached for his storybook. "Not until you actually look at this. Not until you hear me out…please…" He opened the book to an illustration that should have brought back fond memories – the image of Emma in a ruby red gown, masquerading as Princess Leia at King Midas' ball alongside her dashing Prince Charles. At least that was what the image had once vividly depicted. Most of the color was now gone, leaving only muted blotches and just enough linear definition to recognize the faces of the couple pictured. "This is you and Killian at King Midas' royal ball. It's always been one of your favorite illustrations in the book because it was one of your first images that made it into the book. And because it probably marked the moment you really decided you were falling in love. This picture and all of the others in the book are vanishing as you're unknowingly weakening True Love. If they completely disappear, so will the stories and then, so will all of us."

"Henry, this is pure madness. It's just a story book. It's not real."

"It is real! It's our family's story and that family includes Killian Jones. If you keep hurting him, you're letting Fiona defeat you."

Emma exhaled an exasperated sigh. "Killian Jones isn't a part of our family! He's the one who took it from us!"

"No, he didn't. That was Fiona and we can still stop her and bring our family back. You have to believe that Killian is your True Love…"

"Emma, Love, what the lad is saying is true…" a weary voice spoke up from behind Henry. The boy's head snapped around to get a glimpse of a figure behind him, seeing Killian hobbling out of the alley. Henry didn't even need to see the action to know that she immediately reached for her service weapon.

"Mom, no!" Henry cried, placing his own body directly between his mother and the husband she didn't remember. "I won't let you hurt him anymore."

"That man is a dangerous fugitive!" Emma insisted, trying to find a clear line of sight to her escaped prisoner. "Step out of the way so I can take him back into custody!"

Henry refused to budge from his position. "No. I'm not moving. If you want to get to Killian, you'll have to go through me."

"Henry… it's alright, lad," Killian assured him as Henry's bloodstained jacket slipped from his shoulders while he raised his hand in surrender. "Please, you've risked too much already…"

"I can't do that, Killian," Henry insisted. "I can't let them take you. They'll kill you, and then we're all doomed."

Killian didn't want the boy to be caught in the middle of this, but Henry was every bit as stubborn as his mother. "I have faith that you'll find a way to free your family, Henry."

"I'm not moving." Henry remained steadfast in his stance. "I won't let you hurt him, Mom." He took a step backward, continuing to use his own body to shield Killian.

"I am not going to ask you again, young man," Emma growled, livid that her own son would dare defy her and side with the enemy. "Step away from my prisoner, Henry. That's an order!" Henry shook his head vigorously as he stared into his mother's irate eyes, so darkened with rage that they appeared nearly black as night. He had to believe that the mom he knew, the real Emma Swan, was still in there somewhere.

But while mother and son were focusing so intently on each other, they both failed to notice Gideon, who had moved into the center of the street, the sights of his raised weapon trained directly onto the teenager standing in the way of his quarry. Gideon's actions hadn't gone entirely unnoticed though as Killian lifted his head in time to see the deputy's aggressive stance, instinctively realizing that Gideon had no intention of waiting for Henry to move – he was going to take the boy out of the equation himself.

"Henry, look out!" Killian shouted as he lunged forward to shove the boy out of the line of fire. Henry's knees struck the sidewalk just as Gideon's shot rang out, the storybook and his unzipped backpack both knocked from his grasp with the impact. A brilliant flash of bright light appeared before his eyes as he fought through the momentary disorientation as he heard the book and all of the contents of his pack striking the unyielding concrete with repeated dull thuds. When his senses returned, he scrambled to locate the snow globe, finding it on the sidewalk next to the wide-open book, cracked and leaking both liquid and plastic snow – both objects resting inches from the fallen form of his stepfather.

Note: Decided to post a little behind the scenes photo of my first draft.  I’m still a little old school so all of my first drafts are handwritten and I color code them with different ink so I can easily pick up a notebook and know which one I’m working on.  Here’s what this one looks like:

[danceswithcybermen]

Babymoon

Babymoon

Summary: Scully is in the second trimester of her second pregnancy, and Mulder decides to take her on a “Babymoon” in the Nation’s Summer Capital, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Written as part of the “50 States of Sex: A Map of Us” challenge, so definitely NC-17 and NSFW.

This is set in the same “universe” as my Next Files series, but it’s not necessary to have read that to understand this story. If you are reading it, this will tide you over until the next installment.

Click here to read on AO3.

tagging @viceversawrites @softnow @today-in-fic

“I look like a beached whale, Mulder!”

Scully sat back in the passenger seat of their SUV, looking forlornly at her pregnant belly. She was 21 weeks along, and the pregnancy website said that her baby was as big as an endive now.

That website. The same blasted website that gave Mulder the bright idea for this whole “Babymoon” thing. Every Wednesday, he checked that damn website, told her what kind of fruit or vegetable Lily was, and rattled off all of the advice he found there as if it were Gospel Truth handed down on stone tablets:

“Come on, Scully,” he pleaded. “The website says that the second trimester is the best time to take a babymoon because you’ll be feeling at your best then.”

 Scully rolled her eyes at the word. “That’s a marketing term coined by the travel industry, Mulder.”

 “But Jackson found us some great Airbnb’s in Rehoboth!” he pointed at his computer screen. “Look!”

 Scully sighed. Whenever Mulder wanted her to agree to something she was skeptical about, he’d get their son involved, and it was two against one. She looked forward to having a daughter in the house, if for no other reason than to balance out the “teams.” She loved her boys, but living with two Mulder men could be trying. “Jackson just wants the house to himself.”

 Mulder laughed. “I know better than that, Scully. Remember, I WAS a 17-year-old boy. Anything he’s thinking of doing, I already did it and bought the tee-shirt. He’s going to be staying with John and Monica.”

 “What about the dog? I don’t feel comfortable boarding him.”

 “They said they can watch him, too.”

 “What about the class you’re teaching?”

 “We’ll only be gone for a few days. I can get someone to cover it.”

 Dammit, he’d covered all the bases. “But why does it have to be the beach? I got huge with Jackson, and I think I’m going to be bigger this time. I’m already bigger now at this stage than I was with him. Can’t we go to the mountains or someplace else that doesn’t involve swimwear?”

 “But Sculleeeeeee. Summer is for the beach. Look at this house here.” He pointed to a particular listing. “It’s three blocks from the beach and has a nice yard with a privacy fence, WiFi, and cable. I think you’re beautiful, but if you’re really that self-conscious about putting on a bathing suit, you don’t have to.”

 “Mmmffh.” Scully looked at the listing. They hadn’t taken a vacation in years, not since before their separation. The rental did look quite nice, a brightly painted cottage with a beautifully landscaped yard, a back deck with a grill area, and a rather large clawfoot tub in the bathroom. She couldn’t quite contain her delight when she saw the tub, and Mulder beamed at her. “Okay, well, so long as you don’t insist that I put on a bathing suit if I don’t want to…”

 “Great! I’ve booked it for the third week of June!”

 Scully raised an eyebrow at him. “Really, Mulder? Fine. Since you decided to play it that way, you’re taking me to the outlet mall for some tax-free shopping.”

 And that’s how she ended up in an SUV speeding its way to the Nation’s Summer Capital. When Mulder booked the trip, she’d been 14 weeks. She felt like she’d grown twice as big in the interim. She’d steeled herself and bought a maternity swimsuit and a coverup, but she wasn’t sure she’d feel comfortable wearing it on a crowded public beach.

 Mulder spat a sunflower seed husk out the window. “I think you’re getting more beautiful every day, honey.” He reached over the center console and squeezed his wife’s hand. They’d been married for just over two months. “Hey, I just realized. This is our first vacation as a married couple.”

 Scully smiled. She was happy with their lives and their household, and she’d even embraced her late-life pregnancy, as had Mulder. She knew he couldn’t wait to be a dad again, and to be around this time. “I just don’t know if I want to wear the swimsuit.”

 “Don’t you have a cover thingie for it? Put that over it.”

 “I’m just worried about people looking at me on the beach. People look at me weird in stores sometimes.”

 “Fuck people. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve never cared about what other people think of me, and I’m sure as hell not starting now. You are not spending your pregnancy sequestered in our house because of the ignorant opinions of asshole strangers.”

 He’d promised her that they weren’t going to jet around the country doing field work anymore, and he’d kept that promise. They ran their own consulting firm now, taking the cases they wanted, providing expert advice, and letting other people chase human and supernatural perps around. Mulder also taught a couple of days a week at Quantico, but Scully’s doctor had relegated her to desk work for the duration of her pregnancy. She had nearly exclusively been working from home, on the computer. It kept her mind active and engaged, but she wasn’t going out very much, and Mulder feared the isolation was making her apprehensive when she did have to venture out in public. He, of all people, understood the dangers of too much isolation. This had been one of the reasons he’d booked the vacation. She needed to get out of that house more often.

 Traffic was steady on Route 1 in Delaware as they approached Rehoboth, but it wasn’t gridlocked. While the beach town attracted tourists year-round, it wasn’t as crowded in June as it would be in July and August. They stopped at a grocery store to buy some essentials, then headed for their rental.

 Scully looked around as Mulder texted their host, letting her know they’d arrived, and unloaded the car. The canary yellow cottage was small but had more than enough space for only two people, with two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a full kitchen. The house had central air and ceiling fans throughout, and the host had provided everything except sheets and towels. The backyard was enclosed by a privacy fence and had a deck, an outdoor table and chair set, and a large charcoal grill. Next to the gate that provided access from the driveway was an outdoor shower with a sign reading, “Please rinse off sand after returning from beach.”

 She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, listening to the seagulls and smelling the slight tinge of salt in the air. She felt Mulder’s arms encircle her from behind. “Getting your zen on, Scully?”

 She leaned back into him. “You were right. This is nice.”

 He kissed the top of her head. “We have a couple of hours before dinner. Why don’t we go sit on the beach for a while?”

 Scully was nervous about putting on a bathing suit, but she reminded herself that it would be silly to come to a beach town and not go to the beach. “Okay, let’s give it a shot.”

 She had purchased a simple black one-piece swimsuit paired with a colorful, mosaic-patterned cover-up that tied in the front and was long enough on her to pass as a mini-dress. She knew Mulder had bought a new pair of swim trunks for the trip, but he hadn’t let her see them. When he pulled them out of his suitcase, she understood why: They were patterned with alternating green alien heads and avocado halves set against a space-sky background. Her eyes grew wide, and she burst into laughter. “Oh my GOD, Mulder! You are not seriously intending to wear those, are you?”

 “It’s either these, or this pair. Which one do you prefer?” He grinned as he yanked out another pair of trunks featuring a pair of aliens entangled in various sexual positions.

 She erupted into a fit of giggles. “You are BAD.”

 “And you are beautiful.” He pulled her into a kiss.

 “I’m fat.”

 “You’re PREGNANT.” He lifted up her shirt and stooped down to give her growing belly a kiss. “You have no idea how sexy I find you right now.”

 She looked down, saw the love in his eyes, and felt a stirring between her legs. Despite her misgivings about the changes in her body, her libido had been in full swing courtesy of her second-trimester hormones. Lately, a mere glance from her husband had been enough to turn her on, and they’d been having sex every day, often more than once.

 Mulder saw the look in her face and stood back up. “Later,” he whispered in her ear. “I want to take you to the beach first.”

 ********************************

 While the cars crowding Rehoboth Avenue made it obvious that the summer tourist season had arrived, the beach itself wasn’t terribly crowded. They easily found a nice spot, and Mulder set up their beach gear: chairs, beach towels, and an umbrella. Scully made herself comfortable with a book as he removed his plain black tee-shirt – she was surprised he hadn’t chosen something obnoxious to wear on top – to go in the water.

 He held out his hand to her. “Let’s go in the water, Scully.”

 She looked up at him and gestured to her book. “You go ahead. Maybe later.”

 She still had her cover-up on. Mulder decided not to pressure her and made his way to the ocean himself. She watched him as he walked away, admiring his form. Not only had he continued his exercise regimen, but he’d amped it up and was tracking his protein consumption to add size. The result was a hard, muscled body that many men half his age envied. His arms, back, and chest had grown absolutely huge. Scully noticed more than a few women (some of them half his age as well) looking in his direction and smiled. She wasn’t jealous; she knew he paid them no mind. Her weird, wonderful husband was all hers. She shifted her attention to her book.

 After sitting for a while, she felt hot in her cover-up but was still timid about removing it. She looked around at the other people on the beach and reasoned with herself. Mulder was by far the most fit person there right now; most of the other beachgoers looked like anyone else on the street, imperfect bodies and all, and many of them had on swimwear that was far more revealing than her own. No one is even looking at you, she told herself as she removed her cover-up, then sat back down and returned to her reading.

 After a few minutes, Mulder padded back to their area, pushing water off himself. “My beautiful beach bunny,” he said as he bent down to kiss her. He tasted like saltwater and sunflower seeds. “Come in the water with me; it’s great.” She hesitated, and he nuzzled her neck. “I’ll give you a prize if you do.”

 She giggled, but his hot breath on her neck was sending tingles through her body. “Okay, but not for too long.”

 He grinned and helped her up. Scully felt the little girl in her come out as he held her hand and they walked towards the water. She remembered holding her mother’s hand and being led to play in the ocean, and she remembered getting old enough to go in the water by herself. She remembered sand castles, ice cream, sunblock, and the smell of Noxzema when she didn’t put enough sunblock on. It occurred to her that she would soon be taking her own daughter to the beach and making the same memories.

 The water was a bit cool, albeit refreshing after sitting on the beach. They went in deeper and joined hands so they could jump waves together. She shrieked when he put his muscular arms under her back and legs, picked her up, and held her as the waves rolled past them. “Lucky me; I caught a mermaid!” They kissed again, and he put her back down. They spent some time playing in the water, splashing and chasing each other and jumping waves. Scully enjoyed the buoyancy; she’d been feeling a bit unsteady on her feet due to her center of gravity having moved, and being in the water let her move smoothly and freely, without fear of falling.

 He lifted her back up again to kiss her, then looked into her eyes. “I remember the first time I saw you laugh like that, in the rain in Oregon. I had this – feeling. I don’t know how to describe it. It was like I knew you’d be by my side forever.”

 She blushed. “I thought you were crazy, but there was something about you. I didn’t know what it was, but I was drawn to you.”

 He grinned. “You couldn’t help yourself. I’m irresistible. It’s only natural that you’d throw yourself at me.” She rolled her eyes, and he pulled her into another kiss. Their kisses deepened as a few more waves washed over them, and Mulder put her back down when he felt himself getting hard despite the cool water. “Let’s go dry off for a while.”

 ***************************************

 They spent about an hour enjoying the beach before heading back to the house. On the way, they stopped to buy fudge and salt water taffy from a boardwalk shop. Scully had been having cravings for junk food, and Mulder indulged her. He enjoyed her uninhibited pregnancy appetites.

 Yes, plural, he thought. Once she relaxed, she’d begun making suggestive comments to him about the things they could do in the water if there weren’t so many people around.

 They entered through the yard so they could use the outdoor shower. Mulder took a good look around at the privacy fence. It was a tall, solid vinyl fence with no gaps, and the homes that abutted the yard were all small one-story cottages. The shower itself was also partially enclosed. By the time he placed their things on the deck, Scully was already rinsing herself off, her bathing suit still on and her back to him. Mulder took off his shirt and swim trunks and took a moment to enjoy the view before he joined her, putting his arms around her and pressing his center into her backside.

 Scully turned around to face him and gasped. He was already half-hard and growing fast. “Mulder! What if someone sees?”

 “I already scoped it out,” he assured her, tugging at her swimsuit straps. “It’s completely fenced. If someone wants to see in here, they’re going to need to climb a tree. If they want to watch us that bad, let them have at it.” He took one finger and traced her neckline down to the side of one breast.

 She looked around. He was right, and dammit, he was so fucking hot, leering at her like that, water dripping down his solid, muscular body. The cashier at the grocery store had asked him if he was a fitness trainer, and it hadn’t been the first time that had happened. She let him divest her of her swimsuit, and ran her arms up and down his body as he kissed her under the cool water, his hands resting gently on the sides of her growing belly. He slowly moved them up her body to her breasts, which had always been quite sensitive and were even more so thanks to her pregnancy. She stifled a cry as he kneaded and pinched both nipples, then moved down to lick and suck on them as he slinked one hand between her legs to pump her pussy with two fingers, brushing her clit with each in and out stroke.

 It didn’t take long. She’d been hot for him since they’d made out in the water at the beach. She whimpered and thrust against him as he felt her convulse around his hand. He put both arms back around her and planted light, loving kisses all over her face as she came down and caught her breath.

 “I want you inside me,” she finally said, turning off the water. “But not in here.”

 Mulder nodded. She had gotten big enough that certain sex positions – like him lifting her off the ground and fucking her against the wall – weren’t possible anymore, and the ground was concrete. They pushed the excess water off themselves and entered the house through the back. Scully led Mulder into the bedroom, threw a couple of towels down on the bed, then got up on all fours and seductively wiggled her ass at him, looking over her shoulder seductively.

 “Oh fuck yes,” he growled, his dick throbbing as he looked at her glistening, pink pussy just begging to be filled up. He joined her on the bed, grasped her hips and slowly entered her, enjoying the tight warm wetness as it enveloped him inch by inch. After they found their rhythm, him plunging in and out of her as she met him thrust for thrust, he reached around to play with her tits and tweak her nipples, making her squeal.

 “God, Mulder, HARDER!” she thrust back against him with all she had, and he knew that meant she wanted to have the daylights fucked out of her.

 He was more than willing to oblige, putting all of the core work he’d been doing in the gym to good use as he pounded her, their bodies making a lewd wet slapping sound on each inward thrust. He knew from the sounds she was making when she was close; she wasn’t afraid to be loud now that they were indoors. He gritted his teeth to maintain control until she finally arched her back and ground her backside against him, emitting a strangled cry that sounded somewhat like his name. He threw his head back and let out a primal yell as he felt himself empty inside her.

 His legs felt like Jell-O. He collapsed to one side, pulling her with him and holding her as they gasped for air and felt the warm afterglow embrace them. He put one hand on her belly and propped himself up when he felt movement.

 “Hey, she’s moving,” he said, a look of wonder on his face.

 “Yeah, I can feel her. She’s been getting more active.” They’d gotten the ultrasound two weeks before, which confirmed what they already knew; they were having a little girl, and so far, everything was fine. Both she and their baby were perfectly healthy.

 “I read that when you have an orgasm, the baby gets a massage.”

 Scully rolled her eyes. “That website again.”

 “One of them. I’m not sure if it was the vegetable and fruit one.”

 She turned over to face him. “I want to take a shower and have some fudge. Then maybe a hot dog later.” She ran one finger up and down the length of his cock, which had softened but was still wet and sticky from their sex.

 “So, I take it this means you’ve warmed up to this whole Babymoon thing?”

 “Sure, if it means a full week of you feeding me and fucking me.”

 “Jesus, woman.” Mulder decided to go have another protein shake while his insatiable wife showered.

Those swim trunks? They’re real:

Both of them: