#i drifted off in the middle of buffy angel torchwood ctm ent leverage and now tcw

[sigmastolen]

on the phone with comrade d today, she wondered if they were going to make any more jurassic park movies (she wants to get a dvd box set with all the films, but not yet if they're going to make more). and i replied that my idealistic side would say 'no' because they've done the big reunite-the-cast film and come to a story conclusion, but my much louder, cynical side says 'of course they will because they can make more money from it, especially from merchandising' and that endless milking of cash cows for diminishing artistic returns is part of my current detachment and disillusionment with today's media landscape (in which the only things i am "keeping up with" are jeopardy!, the pbs airings of all creatures great and small, my favorite canadian sheep farmer youtuber, and a handful of npr podcasts).

and my thoughts keep coming back to that, and i can't tell if i've disengaged from all these things i used to really enjoy (or at least be very invested in) because i'm busier than i used to be (or in a different way than i used to be), or because of depression/depression-adjacent patterns, or my attention has always been this fleeting, or if things are actually worse. realistically, it's probably a combination of things, but am i using media crit sound bytes to excuse/cover for personal problems? or is it just that i've read too much criticism and become a snob? (lbr i was always a snob tho; there's even a tag) idk i sometimes feel like i no longer know how to act when someone is really enthusiastic about something i used to and no longer like. this happens very frequently with hp because i work at the library, but also because it was such a foundational text for my generation -- so many of my age-and-social-class peers are deeply devoted potter fans, still, even with how much joanne has shown her ass (and even before that, i was the one saying, no, i'm not interested in pottermore or anything else she has to add, my way of doing fandom is ~*~different~*~) -- but it also happens when i have to say i stopped watching got well before it ended, or that i have no interest in rings of power, or that no, i haven't watched the most recent [x] installments of [y] franchise (this also happens with things i still legitimately like). and feeling nothing in the face of someone else's enthusiasm, enthusiasm i would once have shared, is so uncomfortable. it makes me wonder what's wrong with me, why i can't just enjoy things any more, why i have to bring myself down like this, am i broken?

well? am i?