#i dont want to sleep and i wanted to ramble........

[ghostorbz]

Drew this last night

Here's the original if you want it

[newtness532]

person who has been thinking about sleep since she opened her eyes can't stop procrastinating going to sleep

[screechingfromthevoid]

@disastertourwaterdeepedition

Sorry for the weird fucking post but like tumblr straight up ate your ask?? I had to search and screenshot from my email??

Its like super fine I love big rants and big feelings (especially about the blorbo of the month).

Whoa buddy if you wanna talk about a rant. This got so long I'm putting it under a read more.

I'm not sure any of this is above board conscious thought process. When he looks to Orym, when he thinks about how he feels about Orym, I think Dorian, king of compartmentalizing, gets a rush of all three of the things in the post. He gets a little too lost in thought looking at the way Orym's hair now tries to curl against his ear or how well tailored the armor is to his body, he first gets hit with the Will guilt. Then he thinks about "ohmygodtheresawaron" and he'd shovel all of that down. Because its not time to think about Orym and him. But he knows by the way Orym watches him "sleep". He knows by the way Orym refused to be princess carried in Aeror. (Seriously dude Dorian princess carries everyone. It would have been less suspicious if you let it happen). He knows because Orym didn't see his husband when they were in Zephrah. But when he dares himself to actually think about a possible future together, he uses the big three to shove it down. And no, he has no clue that Orym thinks he doesn't return his feelings. (Wow you're right. Pronouns are hard)

Lol to finally answer your question: I'm not sure! Because the thing is! Orym has gone down twice in a battle with Dorian there! And honestly if Orym being on death's door doesn't make either of them confess, i'm not sure what will! (thats a lie I do have an idea). But like Orym went to the moon and back and almost died on the moon and all the count communicate to Dorian was "I miss you"!! Orym nearly died twice in one battle and he didn't think to give Dorian a sloppy, "If I die again I want to have kissed you once" kiss before going in for another round of getting hacked on. Dorian watched him go down and had to bring him back from death's door (one failed save scared the shit out of me) and he didn't think to give Orym a "We need you, I need you" kiss.

My unfortunate thought process, which I can't decide if I want it to come true or not, is that Dorian has to get hurt. Like when I say hurt I fucking mean it. Taken down in a round or two, two failed death saves, hurt. Because then Orym will have to face losing Dorian again. Face losing the man he loves, again. He pours a healing potion into Dorian's mouth because warlocks don't have a single healing spell. (Just checked). Orym feels so helpless in saving Dorian, because a healing potion isn't nearly enough to keep him up. He starts to cry over Dorian's (now conscious) body. He whispers between sobs "Not again, not again. Dorian you can't leave me. I love you, please, I never got to tell you, please stay alive." and Dorian, having heard all of that, reaches up to cup Orym's cheek and says. "Alright, just for you though."

Or something like that.

As much as I would love for them to be adults and just talk to each other. I know thats not going to happen. (Please, Robbie, Liam, prove me wrong.) So I think major tragedy will be the reason they confess to each other. Because they're idiots in love with a lot of weight on their shoulders.

[daffythefox]

i feel like people say "abuse is always intentional and a choice" because it helps them believe that they haven't and will never abuse someone so long as they believe abuse is wrong.

Do you think every abuser woke up and thought "today I will abuse someone on purpose"? Probably some of them, but not all. Some abusers genuinely think that abuse is just how relationships work. Sometimes kids abuse other kids before they grow up and realize what they did was fucked.

If you decide that abuse means "person intentionally abusing another", what about people who were abused by people who weren't intentionally abusing them? Is that not real abuse?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry at your abuser. I think you should be angry at whoever you want to be angry at. But I think looking back at your actions and checking "was what I did okay? how did my actions impact the people I love?" is very important, especially for people with NPD, where having issues understanding how your actions impact others is a symptom.

Having NPD makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships way harder. I would know. It's also way harder to control emotional outbursts while you're having one (and emotional permanence issues mean once you stop having one, it's hard to imagine what it felt like).

Introspection about why you did the things you did, if/how you hurt someone you care about, trying to make it up to them, and minimizing the chances that it will happen again, are very important. In "npd abuse" spaces, this introspection is usually shut down by "well, if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not one". But I think this introspection can be very helpful, so long as the introspection doesn't begin and end with guilt/shame.

[lavenoon]

kisses him kisses him kisses him

@naffeclipse you've seen this one but I'm posting it today for the serotonin boost, so have a callback to the first doodles <3

*self insert is not a girl (he/ she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

[shokupanda]

me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh

[elkkiel]

day 1 of relearning sketching/literally basic traditional drawing skills, here's a wonky little II for u

side note: I'm a lil tipsy (we are hanging out in the backyard around the fire pit tonight!) so my hands are extra clumsy lol, bear with me I just thought his not-quite-correctness was a lil cute pls be kind I am so so out of practice :')

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[claitea]

would they ever let lear or any of the rest of the pokemas originals appear in other games. the chances are so low but they're too fun to just leave in the mobile gacha game :(

[oobbbear]

Today my sleep paralysis demon appeared to be a therapist

She was sitting beside my bed holding a long notepad, she was very thin very tall with one vertical eye looking at me, on top of her head there were a couple of halos or maybe just random lines moving around, I panicked and try to move she told me to stay sill and talk about my feelings

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

every day im tempted to make a neocities site to back up / archive / organize all of my stuff in one cohesive place.

but that's the demons talking

[suguru-getos]

I’m going on a trip tomorrow and the amount of shopping and packing I’ve done — just to be prepared- overplanner for real.

[sunflower-cathedral]

Lets Talk About The Perception Of Ren This Season.

Going to try say this as politely as possible, this season it just feels like some people are Infantilizing and really boiling down the relationships he holds with certain hermits to something that it's not + turning Ren into a one dimensional person and character.

I wanted to try address a couple things in this post regarding that; How the fanbase has been reacting to how hermits are treating him on camera mainly (Long Post, so it's under Keep Reading <3).

Regarding how the neighbourhood of ministries have been treating Ren;

They are all very close friends. and have been for up to 10 or so years. Please, for the love of everything holy watch old series like Foolcraft, Hermitcraft UHCs, the Renskall Podcast, older seasons of Hermitcraft etc. Hell, even watch my favourite VOD; Sea Of Thieves. You quickly learn the dynamic they have, and the fact they all go off on playful banter (and also re: British Humour/Love that Cleo and False have mentioned off-handedly in streams and videos before being typically brash and sarcastic. Also not to mention how Martyn is British; I'll get to that later though.) There's a really specific dynamic where Iskall, False and Stress are close friends with him and care about him deeply; and Ren has openly talked about how much the Hermits have helped him out during IRL struggles. The roles and performance they put on for the camera is not going to always reflect how they treat each other off camera, let alone show how much they all deeply care for one another. Cleo has outright mentioned how much they care about Ren on stream too even. A lot of hermits have mentioned how much they appreciate Ren, and have complimented him + said affirmations on stream.

Regarding hermits ribbing him/not playing along;

If something happened that was uncomfortable for Ren or Too Much, it would've been mentioned after and not included in anyone's POVs. Ren's whole kinda thing is being a Theatre Kid, his whole thing is being dramatic and taking up roles for the sake of creating fun storylines and contents for the other hermits to either play along with or turn into something else. If a hermit took it a way Ren wasn't happy with He Would Bring It Up To The Hermits Because They Are Adults And Communicate Amongst Each Other. Like I mentioned above, the banter is very much more part of british humour and culture/attitude, as well as their general dynamic going on.

I've even seen concerns of it being bullying, which is far from the case. I think a lot of us longer term viewers have a better grasp of how much they all care about each other and how deep the friendship goes.

The other concern I have is how like, the joke of him being a 'Wet Pathetic Dog' is kind of going a bit overboard to the point where it's the only defining factor people are mentioning about him? and that like, so much so it genuinely feels more like the fanbase is infantilizing him or making him out to be this damsel in distress who needs to be rescued. He's a grown adult man, who can more than easily speak up for himself and advocate for himself. Minimizing him down to this pathetic useless character who can't do anything is just rude and misses the point of the characters he tends to play when doing storylines. He tries his hardest to organize server events and include all the hermits in things, which is both great for content and a great show of how much the hermits are willing to go along with his ideas and either see where it plays out or evolve it further. Mind you there's always MULTIPLE if not ALL the hermits being willing to play along in these events!! from the mining event this season to the king Ren arc last season all the way to log fellas in season 4.

[anadorablekiwi]

Hm.

[kerizaret]

Ugh. I want to draw, but I don't want to draw, you know??

[dragonbleps]

Me right now. It's a complicated emotion.