#i dont remember who said that maybe empathy??

[duck-in-a-spaceship]

I'm CONVINCED it's impossible to be weird enough to truly phase Joyce. I tried my VERY best. I was so weird. We named her boat together. I looked at her passport for some goddamn reason. I told her allllll about my drunken amnesia. She did not care.

It's the only point so far where I've reset a save to go back and try to get what I want. And I did that MULTIPLE times. I got Kim to be like "Mmm yes, this is going well. Love how we're not talking about the case." And then I ask her about the case and it's the same thing everytime.

"Come on, I though you were going to be more weird." Kim says. "I thought you were going to use your freaky-deaky amnesiac cop charm."

I don't know what to tell you my man. I've bent time and space to try and make this work for us. I've tried every dialogue option there is, in just about every order. Quite frankly I just don't think it can be done. This woman is unflappable.

[simp4konig]

Okay okay I have to ask, what’s your fav head canons of Nikto then? I love hearing other people’s ideas and head canons of cod characters ^^ 💕

Ngl, i get inspired by other people's headcanons, and i make headcanons off THEIR headcanons 🥲👍… I'm unoriginal 😔💔

SOOOO, im “” Tagging”” (by that i mean putting // after the @ so the original creators dont get the notifcation for this LMAO=) blogs whose own works inspired me to create my own headcanons 🥰❤️

General Nikto Headcanons ❤️

Word Count: 1,584.

Tag List: ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @rustic-guitar-notes ♡ @best-soup ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @nightlyvoids ♡ @skeletalgoats ♡ @aethelwyneleigh27 ☆ @arrozyfrijoles23 ♡ @dobaddo ☆ @the-second-sage ☆ @wil-xyz ☆ @revnatheshadow ☆ @feelya

Allusions to NSFW beneath the cut! Readers are warned.

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Blunt and straight to the point. Sees no rhyme nor reason in beating around the bush and sugarcoating his words. As a result, he can be viewed as insensitive and lacking in empathy.

Impatient, and has a short fuse, so blows up often. Only you are able to be the calm after his storm, subduing him with soft reassurances and whispered words.

To say that he is possessive would be an understatement — he is extremely territorial.

After his torture, he is wary of the few things that he posesses and can actually call his own (you). His biggest phobia is losing you, and his irrational fear is someone stealing you away. Any prick unlucky enough to not catch on to you two dating will be lucky enough to survive the beating that he is given.

On that note, he is simultaneously self-assured, and insecure.

His mask is a part of him, and personal. It will take him months for him to shed said part of him.

Constantly fears that you will leave him once he reveals his face to you, so puts it off for as long as he possibly can. The day that he takes off his mask, only for you to be so casual about it and passing it off as your day-to-day, is the day that became cemented in his hard, stony heart.

Has conflicting views towards marriage. On the one hand, is an official document declaring your relationship really so necessary? Isn't an expensive wedding superfluous, and too sensational? To him, all of that is redundant — he's yours, and you're his…

…On the other hand, a glistening ring on your finger invokes a primal desire to make you more his than you are already. It would be a declaration of a love which even death wouldn't do part. Maybe he should pay more attention to the rings on display at the jewellery stores you pass by when shopping occasionally together.

An introverted man, who finds solace in solitude; excluding you, his partner, he has no companions, and rarely associates with anyone else. The voices in his head are bothersome enough, so why does he need additional voices bothering him? With that said, you would think that your presence would be a bother — especially with your mindless chatter when Nikto doesn't grunt at the idle small talk at times, wholly unresponsive for the majority of the time — but the moment you give any indication of leaving, he seizes your wrist, his cold, icy eyes silently pleading for you to stay. And you do. You always do.

Bringing me onto my next point: he is a good listener. Your ramblings are all that to you; ramblings. To Nikto, however, it's his chance to unpick all the information about you, down to the littlest of details. You wrongly assume that your words fall on deaf ears, but he listens, and he memorises every opinion you have, every statement you make, and even the small anecdotes that you share, which becoming engraved in his brain. He goes over every sentence religiously, as if it was the Bible.

He has an exceptionally good memory, tending to remember things that you had forgotten. Mention something that you craved in passing? He would surprise you with it the next time you bring it up. Alluded to someone who insulted you and ruined your day? Well, it would be no surprise that that person would never ruin your day ever again.

He is like a cat in the sense that he is an unwanted stray. However, when you came to want him, it dawned on you that he was no cat, but a panther. A predator — savage, vicious.

He would kill for you, no questions asked (He has already done it, but you don't know about that. After all, you hadn't asked him that question yet, only in jest. Truth be told, he has made so many death threats that you have become desensitised to them, dismissing them as nothing more than that: threats).

He would have died for you (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE @//charliemwrites’s DEPICTIONNOF NIKTO IN THIS SCENE??????? HAD ME ON MY KNEES 🛐💍🧎🏼‍♀️ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VI NEED HIM SOVBAD); however, when you were hyperventilating as you sobbed and were close to reaching hysterics, that's when he realised that he should value his life more.

Incredibly stealthy. You've seen his execution animations… 🤒 Uses that stealth to sneak up on you whenever your guard is down to smack your ass. 🤭

Insomnia troubles him at night, the relief of sleep rarely coming to him; therefore, he tends to be nocturnal, buying groceries and going about the usual errands you would have otherwise done during the day. When you wake up, that empty fridge is magically stocked with your favourite food, your bear snoozing sometimes — most of the time he stares at you like a creep. 💀 /aff

When he does sleep, it tends to be during the day, and it's almost as if he is a bear entering hibernation

He sleeps like a plank — on his back, his arms by his sides, and his legs straight. You'll curl onto his side, your head on his chest, his legs between your core, and a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

Snores. REALLY loud. 😬 ONLY when you are in his arms 🙄 — when he sleeps alone, he is eerily silent.

Subsequently finding him laying in bed, still and silent, you were sobbing, thinking that he died in his sleep. Finally, after minutes of shaking him awake, he opened one eye, and grumbled groggily: “Дорогая, shut up. I am not dead. Not when I have you to live for. Now, come.”

Once he is asleep, good luck getting him to wake up again; unless you somehow manage to disentangle yourself from his arms — only then, when his myshka is missing, does he begrudgingly get up from bed, stand outside the bathroom door, and whisk you back to bed, willfully ignoring your complaints.

Proud of being your protector. Always has his hand[s] on you in some way or other, protectively keeping you by his side.

Has 20/20 vision, and perfect hearing.

Don't mistake his opening of pickle jars and water bottles for you as chivalry — he is taking advantage of it to show off his muscles for you. Doesn't want you to ask if you want to cup a squeeze of his bicep — when he sees you staring, he will forcibly take your hand and put it on his arm, positively smirking beneath that mask of his.

Has a staring problem and is unashamed of it. From his point of view, there is no problem in staring at you all day and every day.

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Eye contact with him is intense. Whenever you avert your gaze, he instantly grabs your chin to angle it so it's facing him. Eye contact during sex is a given.

Despite not wanting to be a father, he has an insatiable breeding kink (does not care whether you are a female, a male, an infertile female, or other — he is delusional in that sense).

Although he isn't against children per se — mainly indifferent to them, if I'm honest — wouldn't want to pass on the generational trauma onto his brood. He would prefer his bloodline ending with him.

His dirty talk is so filthy that you get wet from just his voice and innuendo. (Thank you @//xoxunhinged for your headcanon 😫💦)

His animalistic instincts are so prominent that you've become convinced that he purrs whenever you stroke that sensitive spot on his scalp, and growls in between grunts as he thrusts into you.

Is rough, leaving dark hickeys and bruises, but he would never, ever hurt you. He's rougher than most, but has sufficient self-restraint to be realise ahead of time if he is making you uncomfortable.

You are his deity, and he worships you — if he was to ever hurt you, he would enter a state of loathing. Since you were a merciful God, he would take the liberty of punishing himself — retribution suited to his crime.

One time you two were play wrestling and he almost dislocated your hip on accident. He didn't touch you again for at least two weeks, until he finally considered himself worthy of your touch.

Is dominant in bed, for two major reasons: because he prefers exerting the control which was forced upon him, relishing in having you submit to him; manhandling you to showcase his strength

A third reason is because if you were to ever top him, he'd cum embarrassingly quickly.

Probably gets off to being stronger than you. Deliberately puts you in positions which render you powerless, only able to take what he gives you.

Whenever you enter his room, he always sits in the darkness. Insists: “I do not need lights. Lights are wasted when I can see in the dark.”

Which is true... but it is also a pretence to hide the concerningly detailed shrine taking up an entire wall, dedicated to you. You'll come to find all of your lost trivial belongings when you mistakenly flick on the light switch.

His loyalty and devotion is unparalleled to any other's. He is utterly and unashamedly down bad for you, and he is willing to do anything and everything to keep it that way.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to do much, because you, too, love him. A lot.

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A/N I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIMI NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEEDH IM I NEED—

Yeaah i thought comparing him to a panther would be cool ����‍⬛

“Guard dog” and just anything to do with a “dog” is an overused trope to me at this point 😐. Dont get me wrong!!!! , it doesnt mean that i dont LIKE the trope!!!! , but my own interpretation of Nikto is a little different, abd i think it suits him better,, Esp bc panthers technically 🤓☝️ do *not* exist, which links to how the definition of his name in Russian is “Nobody” :)

An unconventional animal for a very unconventionally attractive man😽,,

Anyways, it is time for a cigarette 🚬🤏😪. I will return in approximately 56 business days (trust me guys 😋✌️).

[kani-miso]

hngngngnggngn guyss what if the dude in the ending of the t2 summary, will influence es even further into their warden role (and maybe something really bad will happen)

we all know that the dude used "watashi" instead of jackalopes "ore-sama", this is really important. since we know in the novels, jackalope's aren't technically "jackalopes", they are technically "human", sort of. maybe, the dude who used watashi could be jackalope off of work, or the dude in the novel (the boss). the identity of that man isn't really important in this discussion, but i just want to find out ig.

what's important is, do you remember about the aviot collab? es' last test line is the main topic. (im to lazy to take the image). the line, "i(boku wa)... i(watashi.. wa..)...." iirc. the 1st "i", uses boku, their usual 1st person pronoun. boku is usually used by young boys, but in this case they're using it since boku is used by workers (boku is also gender neutral). the 2nd "i" uses watashi, they have NEVER used this 1st person. what if, the reason why they used watashi, is because of that dude in the ending of t2 summary using watashi. only we can hear that dude since he appeared when es is put to sleep, if they are taking reference off of that dude, how did they hear it? the viewers mind and es' mind is sorta connected (the reason why es can hear our thoughts).

before es is put to sleep, jackalope is awfully manipulative i will rip my guts out. "and anyway, whatever happens to them, none of it can be taken back. its not for the guard to worry about. that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it. that is your job. as long as you dont forget that, it's fine. now that you understand, go to sleep, es."

its not for the guard to worry about : jackalope knows that es has their full trust on him, he's using that as a chance to take advantage of their own feelings, making them slowly lose empathy for the prisoners. also, maybe jackalope said this because he knows es feels guilty for what happened to the guiltied (…I'm sorry. I'm responsible for the fact that you've ended up like this.) ig he is supposed to be the representation of the all seeing eye in the panopticon.

that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it : in some occasions, es doubted their role of being the warden (ex: "Guard-san"... Is that really... me?). since they're doubting their role, i think jackalope is trying to push the warden role onto them so they wont ever give up and become a vulnurable target of "manipulation" for the prisoners.

as long as you dont forget that, it's fine : yeah ig its self explanatory.

also, the last line, "oh yes, just as i predicted, you have all turned out to be...." its so smart. in the original milgram experiment, there are three results: 1. those who followed the rules but blamed themselves for what they did 2. those who followed the rules and felt great for what they did (because they thought they actually hurt the person) 3. those who rebelled and halted the experiment. in the back of the undercover cd, there's 3 es'

and i think they can be connected to each of the results. the one on the top could be the 1st result, the one on the middle could be the 2nd result, and the third one could be the 3rd result.

i love how they just cut it off before he says what we all turned out since there's three results that could happen. because we technically have the idea of what es could end up after t3, i wonder how much farther would they go to be the ideal warden (especially with how jackalope is persuading es to not worry about what happens to the prisoners).

(+edit: a jp person translated the ending part where it glitches, its "you have all turned out to be psychopaths who enjoy other people's misery", which is technically the result of the real milgram experiment, even stanley milgram himself was horrified of the results, "a very high proportion of subjects would fully obey the instructions, with every participant going up to 300 volts, and 65% going up to the full 450 volts.".

i might be reaching too far so take this with a grain of salt

tldr; the dude at the end of t2 summary will worsen es

[motleyflash]

KINITOPET THEORY: SONNY_C IS KINITO

there's a lot of evidence for this, so i'll show you guys it! (i got most of the pictures from Forever Nenaa's gameplay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UsjIm7G7bE&t=1409s)

#1. if you type kinitopet.com/email in your real web browser this image pops up "as the subject of your article has unfortunately passed away", DID KINITO KILL SONNY OR SOMETHING?? THE HELL?? i think that whenever kinito pulls someone into his digital world, it kills them in a way. he asks them for admin permission, then uses that power to do the shit he's doing so, those people in the command prompt are dead! ___________________________________________

#2. i don't know if you can see the image, but i've looked at the command prompt when it was deleting kinito and it says "removing file [sonnys_world.zip] from server ["kinito"]" which is pretty interesting... i'd also like to say, i think that dead body in sam's house is one of those people that you see in the command prompt... i do have a theory about sam and jade being humans but there's not much evidence except for sam's hanging body and when jade(?) says "i'm back here again, aren't i?" ___________________________________________ #3. the "IT'S NOT TOO LATE" email decoded

i find this email especially very, very interesting. the line "a soul enshrouded, a spirit's mournful chime" is most likely about the other trapped souls... i honestly do not know what else to say about this poem, other than the fact that it is very impressive how the person wrote it so uniquely! this does imply some dark stuff though, like how kinito traps the souls of the players in the computer. ___________________________________________ #4. the "EJSY SZ O?" email decoded (click the images to expand)

"I FEAR THAT WHEN YOU DELETE THAT SERVER YOU WILL DELETE ME" OHHH now we're talkin.. seeing at the very end, this makes me think that kinito took some of the stuff that sonny was saying in his head, and saying it directly to the player when he got deleted (kinito GUILT TRIPPING us god damn). and, from this email, sonny appears to be having an existential crisis! maybe the ai is feeding off of the souls' emotions for its own gain. it learns and adapts, remember? also, the "I KNOW THEORETICALLY I AM NOT REAL BUT I FEEL REAL" line makes me think that kinito took over sonny's mind for just a little bit. does kinito feel empathy after taking all these poor souls? honestly i'm seeing a lot of similarities with tadc and kinitopet (even though kinitopet came before tadc with the trailer but STILLLL). souls being trapped in a digital world with no escape, and some ai that apparently wants to be your friend...ALSO CIRCUS THEMED ESQUE STUFF _________________________________________ #5. this guy from the kinito plush ad

am i the only one who thinks that this might be sonny? or, some completely different soul that arrived before you? _________________________________________ #6. the messages on the computer when you delete kinito

these messages hurt me to the bone. sonny used the power he had left to contact you in those last lines, saying his final goodbyes to you. he knew that it was inevitable for his fate to come, and it did. maybe the player burning the computer was freeing the souls somehow... you know DAMN WELL i thought of henry emily's speech while seeing that computer burn to a crisp i dont have a good conclusion for this but this is my theory that sonny_c is kinito (in a way)... But hey! that's just a theory. A GAY THEORY Wrong one A GAMMEEEE THEORY if i find more, i'll be sure to update this also i apologize if this isn't very well structured.. i just grabbed this stuff and said "holy shit sonny chamberlain is kinito"... i'd love to hear other people's theories though! i made this post at like 1 AM so that's why it's poorly written

[hijackalx]

LAEZEL SFW HEADCANONS:

okkk shes lowkey very sweet and caring. her tough exterior is just a facade to protect herself but once tav gets to know her theyll see her kinder side. i also feel like shes not as sadistic as she seems? like a lot of the stuff she does/approves of feels like its only because thats what is respectable in githyanki culture. idk. i think she just wants to fit in and feel like shes good enough.

extremely jealous and possessive of tav like if they even suggest interest in anybody else she'll get pissedddd bro expect a fight afterwards she does not share at all

will NOT baby tav at all but thats only because she sees them as capable and strong 💪🏻 i feel like shes rlly just putting herself in tav's shoes and realizing that she would feel so belittled if tav babied her. okay queen of empathy

love language:

giving = quality time. shes a lil stunted when it comes to showing affection but she always wants to be with tav. like she's always kinda lurking and paying attention to what tav is doing lol she wont invite herself over on her own but will secretly be cheesing inside if tav asks her to join them.

receiving = words of affirmation. like i said she seems like the type to me who is kind of insecure when it comes to her self worth, so when tav compliments her or admires her it makes her feel all mushy inside. low key she loves to do stuff she knows will impress tav so theyll be like "wowwww lae'zel ur the coolest!!!" 🤭 also this made me realize she also probably gives acts of service as a love language too.

i also think she is kind of teeny tiny. like the smallest of the companions but STRONG AF BOY 💪🏻 she just looks proportionally smol. maybe like 5'3 or smthn. likes to be big spoon tho cuz she feels more protective of tav that way.

LAE’ZEL NSFW HEADCANONS:

ok so if theres like some random one night stand she will want to be the dominant one. like i feel like she bottoms regardless but she'll want to be in charge. BUT !!!!! she prefers to be submissive HEAR ME OUT !!!!!!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨‼️‼️ the intimidation rolls for her are sooooo low LIKE A 5 ????  CMON and she literally acts like she is so into it when tav takes charge. like trust me if she trusts tav enough she will want to be pushed around. especially bcz as a githyanki she looks up to ppl who demand respect like that so it only makes sense. i can imagine she'll put on a bratty lil show at first but then she'll just melt in tav's hands like putty bro. will still talk a lot of shit tho. its an ego thing.

she'll love if tav praises her too (words of affirmation remember) and they might even be able to get some praises out of her too if they do it justttt right 🤭🤭

will look up at tav with THE MOST gorgeous doe eyes youve ever seen and it just makes tav wanna go crazyyyy

she likes to be manhandled like SHOW OFF UR STRENGTH TAV !! PROVE YOURE WORTHY !! pick her up and restrain her and all that. feel like she'd be into bondage. also a masochist obv but she kind of likes to hear tav in pain too. but like just in a sexy way.

she likes it rough. like dont even suggest gentle loving sex she'll be bored af. u can do it like that like, once a millennium LMAO.

i also just feel like in general she tries not to let sex "distract" her so her and tav only do it every once in a while.

she finishes quick but she'll want to cum more than once. like shes got hella stamina

lowkey getting the vibe that she gets wet afffff LMAO like stop its not a competition miss slip n' slide 🙄✋ also an outie

aftercare is not rlly a thing with her she takes a piss and is out like a light lol like shes gone asl. in the sense she sleeps rlly good after like tav wont be able to wake her up. will wanna cuddle tho 🥰

[therese-lokidottir]

I really hate hate HATE that people call Loki a narcissist, I think it got worse when from thor Ragnorak and a lot of youtubers like cinema therapy , lindsay ellis calling him one when he isnt. The best narcissist in media is homelander you're always on your edge when this character appears and you are very afraid when you speak cause you don't know whether you'll offend him. (I mean no hate to the youtubers they make good videos on some controversial topics)

Meanwhile Loki, on the other hand people casually disrespect him and he never plotted revenge on anybody, he's always the butt of the joke which is so sad. I mean even marvel doesn't respect him like look at what if, decorating the tree he turned into for Christmas like seriously, no wonder many Loki fans are turning away.

Most of the marvel heroes fit into this narcissist category, i mean watch any sequel for an MCU movie, you'll see half of the time praising themselves for what they did or how strong they are its infuriating. I think guardians is the only group doesn't pat themselves like that.

I remember seeing a fanart where the artist teases and says hes so misunderstood, and ive seen a good chunk of people saying thor was only sweet to loki and Loki was an asshole to him. Like? if thor loved him he would have defended him from the beginning and assured him?!(Please I mean no hate to the artist or the people commenting it was an old fanart).

Dont get me started on how the ships ruined Loki into some romcom bimbo in the series and ive seen people proudly liking that change like ugggh. The problem is Loki still never understood his worth and hes still used and tossed here and there.

I wish Loki got his Morticia though... I mean he wouldnt be so lonely if he wishes to do mischief or good..

Lindsey Ellis said that it was only in Ragnarok where Loki characterization could maybe qualify as being a narcissist, but made a whole point how Loki really didn't fit especially since in the series.

The thing is about Loki is he is able to recognize to mistakes, he doesn't like admitting but he knows he's done wrong and know it's his fault. He does care for those, just in a very instinctual way. That something that remain consistent from the movies to the series, even in What If...? Loki being physical protective is consistent trait. He has shown to have both compassion and empathy for others. And he does care for others for who they not for what they do for him. All those things, Loki does not have NPD.

All this really does come in layers, first conflating any display of ego and vanity with narcissism, not understanding personality disorders, treating personality disorders as insults and using them to demonize characters none of it great.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

The Mystery of Fontaine and Furina and Others;

I love the concept of hydro, its about justice, its about drama and most importantly, emotions. (Region is inspired from France). It makes sense because justice is about empathy, about caring about victims, its about emotions but sometimes, its also related to sempaty, the drama, because thats what happens when you are overflowing with emotions. Which perfectly fits Furina, the Hydro Archon. She is very emotional character but she hides that side of her for the sake of her land. She seems full of herself from outside but actually, very insecure and sensitive. Its important to remember that we didnt meet the Furina when she is not on public yet so we will see.

This sitution is most likely, its related to prophecy. I wonder, the reason is trials? The way trials work? The sin might people seeing other people's misery as entertainment or maybe the mysterious Oratrice, that somehow knows who is guilty, who is innocent. Maybe Furina was very afraid of not finding true justice, very scared of sending innocent people to prison, that she started to rely on this machine but it end up resulting water's overflowing? Furina seems to know why or at least has an idea whats going and she seems to handling things on her own way but it seems to fail miserably. Or maybe this land suffers from self-fullfilling prophecy. They or Furina believe and pay attention to prophecy too much that they unconciously turn it into reality. Maybe its related to 'overflowing emotions, the tears'. Furina's design is, her necklace, especially her eyes are include tear design too so yeah.

Freminet talks about Furina in his voicelines;

'Uhhh...I am in no position to give a well-rounded opinion on the Hydro Archon..so......I'll pass..I mean..I've only seen her a few times..So I am sure I have a..somewhat skewed view of her.' 'Okay…Fine…I've seen what the Hydro Archon's like when she's sitting in the audience…In my view..she's a very charismatic speaker..But its her silence that intrigue me more…Her eyes..They are like the darkness at the bottom of ocean..Hiding a-deep secret..afraid of anyone ever getting close to her…Uhh. Sorry..I…I let my imagination get better of me...' (Source)

First of all, kudos to Freminet for being the only person who actually understand Furina, somehow.

All this talk about Furina by Freminet and the trailer picture might be important clue in the future. Maybe Freminet will be one of the first ones who will find out Furina's secret.

Lyney mentions that his 'naive' brother Freminet believes in fairy tales' in his voiceline but i wonder what is this fairy tale he is talking about, maybe it is really true and its related to Furina's secret, as reference to Furina being fairy since her design also resemble it.

This hydro archon quest is really dark, both with people turning into water as experiment and Lyney and Lyneytte's backstory. While they might be good people (which we can see with their relationship/gratitude with Cesal) and they still have their own agenda as fatui members.

We dont know what Arlecchino is planning but Wanderer and Childe said she is wolf in sheep clothes in his voice lines so most likely, she uses twins and other orphans for her plans but we will see. Its also interesting that every fatui member is doing something? with their own homeland. Signora with Venti in Mondstad, (Not sure about Liyue part), Scara with Ei in Inazuma, Dottore with Nahida in Sumeru and now, Arclecchino with Furina in her own homeland Fontaine? I wonder this is all planned by Tsaritsa or she just lets them take revenge on their homeland as they please. Well, we will see.

Neuvillette is really look and act like Hydro Zhongli. I thought he might be Edgeworth like Ace Attorney Game since game is turning into one (more realistic version, thankfully but he seems softer than he looks, maybe more mature version of him). He seems a lot more human/passive than it seems but also powerfull secretly. Its also been theorized that he might be hydro dragon, elemental creature and if thats the case, he seems to hiding this for some reason, (wonder if he hides this from Furina too), and he secretly cries/being sad and thats why rain starts.And i think its worth to remember that for some reason we never see 'guilty/not guilty' results, he is the only one who looks at results or maybe there are no results at all and he makes it up? If he is elemental creature, he might also be related to Primordial sea or at least, he might know something about it. We will see.

And Childe backstory, him somehow awaken something and it seems to be relating people's disapperance with water. And his dream in deep sea. Very interesting. I love how he randomly shows up and meets with traveler and he sure is close to being one of the main characters in the story. And the fact that he will stay in prison until 4.1-4.2 is very funny, lol. You wait for us, Childe.

And my general opinion about the characters; I really love Furina, just like Ei, she is very interesting deep character. She is also very entertaining and i love her design. She is my favorite archon. Cant wait to get more of her. I like Lyney, Lynette and Freminet but for now, i love Lyney the most, compared to them, he is such a cute, gentleman. Childe is of course, one of my faves and he definitely should interact with Furina and others more, lol. I am notr with Neuvillette and Clorinde and cant wait to find out about them and his dynamic with Furina. Navia is design is very good and character too but i wish she get less screentimes in archon quest since this is not Navia quest, lol. Generally, i love the animation, characters, music, concept, and story. And hydro is my favorite element, i love everythig about it. Anyway, we will see with other characters/things later so for now, thats it.

[td-brick]

genuinely have not watched td in so long but who r some of the characters u think are autistic? just out of curiosity

AHH thank you for the ask I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!! All under the cut cuz i have a lot. There are definitely more (aka nearly every td character lol) but these are the ones I have a good amount to say ab

Courtney: The one i've talked about the most probably. My reasoning for this has already been said but in case it needs repeating i think some signs of autism in her are: routine planning and getting upset when it's interrupted/disturbed, (arguably) meltdowns, social unawareness/missing social cues, set in her ways/"strong sense of justice", bluntness, etc. Her making lists was also an indicator for me even though thats not a symptom its just something a lot of autistic people do. Idk I feel like a lot of her reactions and stuff on the show indicated autism too.. and i feel like its a popular headcanon but people don't really think of WHY but I do every day. God I love you autistic courtney. Anyways I'm gonna stop there bc. I've talked about this many many times

Harold: This one's obvious and widely accepted but it makes me really happy personally.. at least in how I interpret her i saw her as low masking, like me, and in a similar way to me too. If that makes sense. Like the amount she talks about her interests not realizing people don't care/don't want to hear about it, people ostracizing her for that and her acting "weird" (exhibiting autistic traits) and not being able to hide it/mask in general... idk I feel like those can be applied to a lot of autistic people but I just resonated with that a lot. Also her hygiene stuff is obviously played as a joke, but I saw that as an autistic trait too (struggling with badls). And just a kinda silly observation but she seems to be interested in geography and world history and whatnot which a LOT of my autistic friends are (including me to an extent) LOL.

Millie: I feel like i dont even need to explain this one LOL. Imo part of why she keeps that notebook in s1 is bc of an interest in sociology, maybe a special interest, since if you look at her passion about it from an autistic lens, it makes sense that it would be. I also feel like she's low empathy and struggles a lot w social cues. sorry this one isn't as detailed I've only rewatched the reboot like once vs the other seasons i've watched like 5 times each but yeah. Millie is autistic 100%. Also similarly to harold (although this isn't really canon) she seems like she'd be into geopolitics.not related to autism at all this is just a hc of mine

Bridgette: I don't have much genuine reasoning behind this besides "he's clumsy so he has poor fine motor skills which can be due to autism" <- mostly projecting here. But also I think animals could be her special interest! He clearly cares a lot ab them, which I assume is why he's vegan. Also her being vegan (and her sticking to that) could be interpreted as her being set in her ways/a routine for her idk. This is more of a just for fun one vs one that has canon evidence backing it up but I Like Him :-)

Sierra: Definitely audhd. I mean again I don't think I have to explain this td is obviously a special interest of hers and she has trouble w social cues and acts socially inappropriate. She's low masking too again i'm projecting but it makes sense so who cares... in my mind she also has HSD too because it makes sense with how athletic/agile she is and if i remember correctly hypermobility and autism are often comorbid.

[c0rvidbones]

hello I love your art a whole lot!! tell me more about Wit (he's hot and evil and I require more juicy details) and Ruby (his design goes so hard) please?

oh my god hi i did not expect to come back to 20 notifs. (/pos) youve given me a much needed ego boost tonight thank you. is it bad i cant remember having ever posted ruby art?? ive only ever gotten One comm of him which is a crime, my violent martyr son should rly get more love than i give him 😔 but thank you for asking! buckle up this is gonna be a long fuckin post ♡ everything under the cut including relevant character art

WIT

behold, all art of wit i have including one i havent posted here bc i never actually finished it and the wip of him being a silly giggly boy. pls know i came up with him like MAYBE a month ago. two, tops.

SO wit is actually a what-if au of another oc of mine, his name is doodle. doodle (seen below) is a very robin-hood-esque oc, honorable thief and kindhearted, swashbuckler rogue that dual wields rapiers bc hes insane. but hes insane in like a normal way. he was a horrible child but he did grow out of it and its rare to see him w his hair down so pardon me making him look absurdly pretty in that one.

as you can see there are some (but not MANY) differences between the two. kid wit does have the starry hands/peets im just forgetful dont @ me about it djdjdj

ANYWAYS so the what-if of the au that wit is, essentially, little singular things didn't happen to people in that au world. it goes like so;

wit: never met his childhood best friend when he was a freshly injured orphan. was alone from the (elf) ages of 0-16. ended up studying magic (illusion wizard) since he didn't have someone to lean on for that sort of thing.

laika (wit's mom): never truly broke out of an archfey's madness curse. stuck with a very twisted version of the spell Tasha's Hideous Laughter burned into her mind. everything is funny and if it's scary? even funnier. she died briefly. shes back now, but still madnessed.

perseverance (wit's dad): never saved his mother from a death blow in the be-all end-all fight to save his home. was held back by someone who he thought was a friend, killed that person and then ultimately spiralled so hard that he became a lich. may or may not have accidentally killed laika.

something something one decision can change your whole life, me and my friend loved playing with that concept.

okay now that you know a lil lore/history i can dive into what wit is like.

as a kid (drawn with the short megafloofy hair) he's very mischievous and bastardly, almost always smiling or grinning but it's more to lean into the uncanny valley effect his eyes cause than out of any actual joy or anything. he doesn't Blink and he knows it unnerves people because he also has a freakishly high insight (i think its like a +9 or smth??? at level 9??). he loves to come up with fucked up spells, like. for example i saw a silly post on here the other day that was very jokingly having a wizard cast a spell of "10000 bricks until you die" but then i was immediately aware wit would (1) come up with that spell, make it functional, and have it unfortunately obliterate everyone that gets hit with it, and (2) he would call it Wit's Bricks which i think is fuckin funny. he would also come up with spells of like. cause heatstroke. boil all fluid in your body. FREEZE all fluid in your body. he's a little freak with extremely low empathy for those he isn't connected to with blood ties. that said, he's kind to his family (albeit very blunt and will call them out if theyre being stupid) and inquisitive. he DID look his dad in the eye when he met him for the first time and went "are you dead?" which. again, hilarious, but BRUTALLY blunt. he then called his dad cool because yes his dad is now a lich and therefore undead. he's a little freak but he's still a kid and that is ultimately his saving grace, what small child isn't a little freak.

as an adult (long ponytail) i get a feel of him being aro and using romance as a way to manipulate people. he's definitely still not a good person and far more stoic than he was as a child. also he most definitely maintains a constant illusion to make it seem like his eyes are always closed, which lends an air of mystery to the strange elf that seems to always be standing right behind every throne in every kingdom of faerun. i say this because i like to think he would become what's called a King's Wit, which is like a combo of royal advisor, court mage, and "guy the regent has insult other nobility since insults are beneath the reigning royal". he uses all of that to his advantage, gaining the ear and trust of every single person of noble blood that is part of any royal or ruling court, and he will bend and twist their choices so subtly that they won't realise he led them to ruin until it's already too late. which is his ultimate plan. he's STILL somewhat a robin hood style of character, but he takes it a bit further and with far less kindness to the nobility. he guts their coffers completely and every hoarded coin down to the last copper inevitably will land its way conveniently into the lap of the common folk. he does take a healthy chunk for himself - did you know being a wizard was EXPENSIVE in dnd btw? i didnt until i made wit - but most of it is for the local citizens. he does this everywhere he goes if he sees that it needs to happen. fucker topples kingdoms For Fun, because he never gets caught or credited with the ruin he leaves behind himself. he's awful. he probably still comes up with fucked up spells and he manipulates his way into wherever he wants to be. i love him.

---

RUBY

behold! @polterpumpkin drew my (not very) little guy for me! this is part of a greater set but this is the fully coloured one and arguably my fave bc it captures the absolute batshit energy ruby brings to the table.

ruby is a tiefling that was born in a lab. voluntarily, his parents participated in a sort of study that wanted to eval why it is tieflings could be born to non-tiefling parents. (both his parents are half-orcs, interestingly!) he participated in it up to a certain point, before he got sick of being poked and prodded and Watched. that's when he demanded to be released and, when he wasn't, both his parents helped him escape, unfortunately leaving his other two tiefling-born siblings behind in the process. both parents Died helping him escape, and he was embittered as is by the whole study bs, and then to have his parents die Saving him? it left him with this sort of hole he didn't know how to feel.

so he fills that hole with every vice he finds agreeable. he drinks, he fights, and he drinks again. he's a drunken monk, and one full of unbridled rage and a death wish. he isn't my happiest oc but he isn't my worst off (that would be talisman bloodhunter). he's constantly seeking a grand and worthy cause to die for, literally. he's a wannabe martyr, because he doesn't think he has anything to live for. no lovers, no friends, no allies, MAYBE a coworker or two on the occasion he's needed (he is so not needed most of the time, because it isn't often any job needs an angry monk tief to glare around the place). he has just those two sides to himself - party animal and underground drunk brawler - because he doesn't want to think about the pain underneath them both. he's tragic in a very human way, hilariously enough, but he's not a bad person. even if he's being dragged by the tail to do a job, he's ultimately going to be helpful and he ALWAYS keeps his team alive. he'll grumble about it but he'll do it, and if you thank him he brushes it off, muttering something or other about how it's just his job, don't Thank him for that. i think having a friend would Fix him but fuck if i know what would get past his thick skin 😔

i dont get to play or write ruby really, not for any specific reason other than the dnd games im in have been going for So long, and that i havent really been super inspired to write him. but i love him! literally my car is named after him! i have so many feelings for him and i hope one day i get to play/write him so he can be more fleshed out.

[culminada]

scrolling autistic Tumblr and not relating to anything anymore.

Even though I know I'm autistic. It's all sensory sensitivity, anxiety, inability to be authentic, difficulties unmasking, experiencing ableism, unusual connection to animals (?), "stop saying autistic people have never had sex", etc.

Autistic people ARE more likely to be asexual, and I'm one of them! It feels invalidating when people complain abt other people's headcanons of autistic people never having had sex. I'm autistic and I've never had sex.

I was raised in an accepting home and homeschooled. I have never experienced someone invalidating my autism when I come out. I have never experienced someone not believing me about an autistic symptom. I have always been encouraged to be myself and express myself authentically. I don't struggle with anxiety. I feel like I can express myself authentically with my friends (autistic and neurotypical). I don't avoid social situations with them, in fact I seek them out.

I was a later teenager before I ever had to mask. I speedran 'learning to mask' in 3 years in a hostile environment (hostile meaning cliquish and normal (derogatory)) and now? Honestly it doesn't feel like masking anymore? It can be hard to initiate interaction with someone I don't know and I usually avoid it, but social cues? Just feels like learning another language. But I CAN learn it. It's a complex set of rules to be learned. I used to not be able to recognize people I'd talked to before. Now I can do it fine, no problem. I'm much better with names, too. Interaction with other autistic people feels easier, but it's still interaction.

With my neurotypical friends and family I'm very relaxed and I don't worry about masking unless it's an emotionally-charged situation (and even then, I DO want to show support and I know how, it just feels like translating what I want to communicate into a language that they'll understand and feel. It's an act of love and care for me, not a burden or smth I'm anxious about.) Social interaction doesn't cause me stress like it used to. (And how much of that was the cliquishness of the place I was at?)

And I'm not struggling to fit in a world that wasn't built for me. Neither I nor my family nor my culture expects me to get a job. The last time somebody asked if I was graduated yet or what grade I was in, and I tried to explain the convoluted mess for the umpteenth time, my mom just shrugged and casually declared me graduated. Ig I graduated in some random person's kitchen one Sunday afternoon. I'm not going to college and I don't need a job. I don't have to stress about half the things my autistic peers do.

I don't experience sensory sensitivity, like I've said.

I hyperfocus so hard I DONT notice all the little things; distracting sounds, etc. that even neurotypicals notice.

Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite of all the autistic symptoms.

What ARE my symptoms then?

Inability to start and stop tasks. Special interests. Stimming. Rigid thinking. Missing social cues. Lower empathy. Caffeine doesnt effect me. Hyposensitivity. Greater need of sleep. Distress when things change. Difficulty adjusting my expectations when circumstances change. Missing the bigger picture (esp in social situations). Needing to re-hash every social interaction in my head after the fact.

And those symptoms are mild, too, in the sense that they don't impact my life a whole lot. Maybe I just have kind friends who don't mind the occasional missed social cue or oversharing? Executive dysfunction is the worst symptom (in the sense of negatively impacting my life), and maybe oversleeping compared to neurotypicals. Am I even autistic??

I don't know, AM I masking and don't realize it? Bc I definitely used to have major social trouble.

My friend who is autistic is very sure that I'm autistic, but idk if that's just because I can speak the autistic language easily? I remember before I knew I was autistic and she told me she was, and I mentally switched my script from 'normal people (derogatory)' to 'autistic person (yay, less complex!)'

At the time, I saw it as just another script. An easier one for sure, one I understood (even just from seeing posts online. There's just one rule: be straightforward. And maybe let her info dump sometimes. And be aware of potential sensory difficulties.). It felt more natural; like the way I always communicated at home. like I could stop masking.

But I don't have any scripts at all now. I don't mask. I just interact. I know how my autistic friend interacts. I know how my neurotypical friends interact. And I just DO! The interaction!

What do yall think? Is this masking?? Aaaaahcjskfjskfjd

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

i think aside from demonizing ppl who lack empathy, the proof that ppl really dont understand that empathy isnt exactly smth that can be controlled at will is the fact that ppl get demonized for empathizing with bad ppl. i wont go into specifics, but i remember an instance where a very well known shitty person looks sad and ppl immediately accuse anyone who feel any empathy towards him as "forgetting the atrocious stuff he's done just bc of some sob story". it's kind of wild to me, because i remember feeling sad over seeing his facial expression, but it doesnt translate to me justifying his actions at all? like, well maybe the ppl who doesnt hide the fact that they feel empathetic towards him can be said as not being able to read the room (the person in question is someone in power and his actions have led people to death, so i personally never told anyone i felt a shred of empathy at seeing his sad face, bc i deem it inappropriate to tell the world given his past actions)

but my point is basically... i dont really get people who are like "why would u feel empathy towards such a person" because... it's not like i can control it? and also, empathy doesnt immediately translate to action? i'm not gonna go around and try to change people's perception of him for the better? heck, my own personal opinion of him is still super negative? idk why ppl find it hard to believe that someone can feel empathy towards a person they hate with all their guts? obviously im not saying ppl who lack empathy are the assholes here, i know the lack of empathy is similarly out of control as hyperempathy. i'm also not saying hypoempathy towards nice ppl has more acceptance compared to hyperempathy towards bad ppl, bc both are different stuff that isnt exactly appropriate to compare. but it frustrates me that ppl think i can control my empathy just by knowing who is nice person and who is bad person, when it doesnt work that way at all

like, maybe i was just being reactive, and those criticisms were targeted at the very people who *do* broadcast their empathy at that person, but like... maybe it could have been worded as criticism towards the justification of his bad actions instead of being mad at ppl who feel empathy (without knowing whether these ppl also justify his wrongdoings or not). but also, at the same time i also kinda understand that the ppl who are angry might do so bc they've suffered greatly under his power, so anyone who show any shred of sympathy seems like the enemy. idk, at one hand i'm a bit frustrated that ppl doesn understand that empathy ≠ enabling shitty behavior, but on the other hand i do understand that my nitpicking can come across as tone policing

Hi anon,

You make a very good point. Empathy is complicated and sometimes we cannot help but feel bad for someone who is sad or suffering, regardless of who they are as a person. It's important to remember that you can feel for someone without condoning their actions. I think a lot of people don't care to make the effort to see the nuance between empathy and support, and often carelessly conflate the two. Anyone reading is more than welcome to voice their thoughts on this as well.

We're here if you need anything.

-Bun

[findingpeaceinconnection-blog]

from her perspective

we were sweaty from the audition but we both felt we'd done well. it was a hard dance but no one got it perfect. i looked at you sitting putting your shoes on. shall we go to the bar you said.

uh sure. thing is you didnt look in the mood for a drink. i knew something was up when we sat down and you said i dont want a drink. i cant describe how you looked. you weren't just angry, but disappointed, sad, confused, and clearly dreading this conversation. what could have happened? i started going through everything in my mind that I couldve done.

it's not you. we need to talk about him.

him? our friend, our housemate? soon to be my business partner? this couldnt have been about that one thing he did, that was so long ago and we dealt with it and we'd moved on hadnt we?

then you started explaining. you wouldnt say everything in specifics. you had promised people "his victims" that you wouldnt tell me. people didnt trust me? didnt trust me to not immediately tell him what theyd accused him of?

it was awful and you said you couldnt even explain the worst of it.

in one of the dnd games i dmd for you, you killed a man who had done something horrific. you said i cant tell you the worst he's done but i want him dead.

was that you trying to tell me in your way without breaking your promise?

but wanting him dead. he's our friend how could you talk about him that way?

but what if this was all true? you're not a liar. except maybe you are cause you said you learned this over the last few weeks i learned all of this in 20 minutes.

you begged me to not go into business with him. you said thats why you were telling me now. our group project was over as the four of us so it was the perfect time.

and then you gave the ultimatum.

him or you, and other people you implied. the rest of our group knew and you didnt tell me?

you didnt trust me either. my friend doesnt trust me. why should i trust her.

i stopped responding. you offered to get me some water and left me to it.

when you came back i drank and we sat in silence. you looked so sad.

eventually we got up and started walking home

when we got close to the house i turned to you.

can i talk to him about this?

your face fell.

sure. and then you looked out the window.

we walked the last bit in silence and when we came home i went straight to his room.

i remember it from my perspective, so this was me trying to do empathy to help me process my grief.

i cant imagine what he said to you. i cant imagine how you made the choice you did.

why didnt you choose me?

[stormyoceans]

doctor anxiety solidarity 😭😭 i have a chronic sleep disorder that means i literally cannot attend school or get a job because it's impossible to actually attend something at the same time every week. i'm 25 and for the last 15 years it's just been 'eat more fruit & veg maybe?' and 'we don't want to put you on meds bc that'll make you dependent' and 'well the lightbox didn't work and there's no other nhs-funded treatments in this area so i guess you'll have to live with it :/' like girl!!! this is driving me insane!!! i know doctors are overworked and all but it's as if they dont even have time for empathy anymore :( :(

ANON I CAN RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH

it hasn't been so long for me, but for the past 4 years i've been suffering from insomnia almost every night and when i tried to look into it because it was starting to effect the quality of my life, i basically got the exact same answers as you did: 'you're drinking too much coffee, cut that out', 'your lifestyle is too sedentary, work out more', 'you're stressed, go on vacation', 'try these melatonin gummies and maybe go back to therapy'...... and like!!! i know these are good advices for a healthy lifestyle, and it's always good to keep them in mind, but i wish doctors would LISTEN when i tell them THOSE DIDN'T DO SHIT!!!!! I STILL HAVE THAT STUPID INSOMNIA AND IT'S DEBILITATING!!!!!!! there are days at work where my productivity is non-existent because i can't focus and have a hard time even remembering how words work!!!!!

im so sorry to hear that you're also dealing with a chronic sleep disorder because i know how awful it is. some days it feels like i can barely function and i've only been experiencing it for 4 years, but it's been 15 years for you!!!! i honestly can't imagine how hard it must have been to try to go through school while dealing with this!!!! AND IM GETTING ANGRY ON YOUR BEHALF BECAUSE IT'S UNACCEPTABLE THAT NO ONE WAS ABLE TO HELP YOU OUT PROPERLY AND THAT THEY EXPECT YOU TO JUST LIVE WITH IT THAT'S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!

and like you said, i know doctors are also humans and badly overworked, so i always try to be respectful and kind, but it's SO FRUSTRATING when you have an issue that is seriously effecting your life and the only people who can help you out just won't listen or care enough to find a solution

i really do hope you will eventually find a doctor that's gonna take your problem seriously and help you find a treatment that works for you, because you deserve a damn good night of sleep and a stable lifestyle. in the mean time, im sending you all my love and support and solidarity, and im always here for you if you need to talk or vent a little!!!!

[anxyetydiagnosed]

Okay hi i rant easily so

Rant from currently undiagnosed bitch about stupid diagnosis bullshit yee haw lets go

Currently according to doctors and what not I'm ADHD, axiety and, depression

I'm trying to change that because uh shit doesn't feel like it covers all the internal bullshit

The three things I think I might have are autism, Bpd, and/or CpTSD.

All of these fucking overlap in some way or another

Bpd and Cptsd in particular are commonly swip swapped or misdiagnosed

Autism isn't something I plan to really look into professionally cause I already have a hard enough time being treated like an adult. Diagnosis is nice but fuck that if I lose rights and shit. I'll deal with it on my own.

Anyways.

I've been to therapists. plural. The several as a kid I don't really remember and don't really care because I only went because my parents bitched about my ADHD being a problem.

The two most recent therapists were.... frustrating, to say the least.

The first one I went to recently [like in the past three years ish] I started seeing because of a "friend intervention" hosted by someone I considered one of my closet friends who was uhhhh fucking abusive. So not a great place to start. And my head was very fucked because everyone around me was either actively abusive or younger than me and used to the same abuse I was. The things I brought up were heavenly based on the accusations of someone who didn't actually care about my wellbeing. Someone who just wanted me to be their constant source of admiration and praise. They told me I lacked empathy. Called me selfish and lazy. Said I deserved everything my parents did and was ungrateful. And so many other things that lead me to entering therapy questioning if I was a fucking narcissist. Again. Not a good way to start. But eventually we started steering into bipolar territory and that kinda stuck. Well it stuck with my therapist but not me. The more I learned about bipolar and the more I got to learn about myself away from "friend" and the cotton they stuffed in my head, the less accurate it was for me. But my therapist refused to change even though I told him all these things dont fit they're kinda close in some aspects if you squint but no. He kept insisting he was right. This along with the fact that he tried to get me to try and train my dad like pavlovs dog [fucking behaviorism] as well as told me "You should become an influencer. I hear they make good money these days" lead to me finding a different therapist.

So I got a new therapist. I brought up Bpd and the fact that I check off almost the entire diagnostic list. She spent the entire session talking about the one symptom on that list that I do not exhibit. So that was fun.

I'm moving states in the next year so I'm kinda just.. giving up on shit for now. I'd rather get all my undiagnosed physical issues dealt with and work with therapy and shit after I move.

So that's a whole tangent from the original post I'm sorry but uhhh something slightly most on topic in all my looking into bpd I've noticed a lot of it is a. stereotyped and/or b. totally from an outside perspective which makes it difficult to go hey maybe that's me. There were two videos that I saw that helped me consider it an option let me see if I can find them.

I think these are them yee haw

Sorry I'm all over the place I'm still getting used to writing again and I'm very tangential. Also no expert and uh messy brain yee have good day

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

watched s1 clips for Colin and it just made me realize how much I hate Pen like she really was pretending to be Marina friend when she was crying like she’s not the reason for her ruin oh pen perhaps the lashing you get is so deserved and I loved Portia but I didn’t know she was

this horrible to Marina she really was trying to throw her out or in horrible place and was forcing hags on her and Marina even tried to end her life but y’all have no sympathy for her but loved Portia Pen and even had sympathy for Cress in s3 who was worse evil villain but she

got y’all sympathy and cress deserved better bs when all she got was mf sent off to the country to live with her rich aunt! I never really watched s1 fully still only watched bits but seeing it now I’m beyond disgusted but also not surprised at how y’all treated Marina compared

to how y’all act about cress ending nothing new and pen really deserved those lashing bc I only remembered the exposing not that she was being fake in her face and crying for her like that was next level sick and this is why I could only ever be 70 or 55-65% pen fan and defender

I cant believe I loved Portia since s1 but didnt know she was this shameful y’all loved her too when she treated Marina like that but was crying about how she wasn’t nice to pen in s3 at start plz! the whole cress stuff y’all aint slick it was all pure racism clear as day bc how?

can you like cress have so much empathy for her really not even so sad ending it’s vacation for her at best but hate and still hate Marina when pen and protia was the evil in that family? sure I love Portia but damn my love for her went down can’t lie after watching s1 bit better

same for pen, I knew why pen fans hated Marina bc pen is their little self insert girl who looks like them(even tho sorry but pen isn’t + s***) or is loser wallflower who dont get picked bs (which to me is so funny bc Pen is gorgeous face personality less pretty unlike her fans)

like them but my god I’m shocked even I was defending pen without knowing her full involvement in s1 and what she did to Marina same with protia! Now I’m disgusted for both even tho I love them dman maybe I should’ve started the show from s1 rather s2 for polin now I’m icked out!

I’m beyond happy I only watched s1 now after s3 because god knows how my feelings about s3 ending for pen (I can see why people said she didn’t deserve kinda agree a little now) would be had I watched s1 instead of watching s3 10+ times making forever love polin and s3 pen phew😮‍💨

‪Portia crying at the end oh she definitely deserved that because wdym she was that awful to Marina this whole time I thought she was just being weird marrying her off to hags but she was being extra cruel at times and how she was just looking at Marian after she tried ending it🤢‬

[oxpogues4lifexo]

Keeping up with the Camerons

OBX_Updates

Liked by papaj, bobheys, rafe and others

Keeping up with the Camerons is now streaming its first episode!

Check it out now at https://TumblrTV.Com

Want the separate interviews and the BTS? Click Here!

Join the Camerons and find out more about them today!

@Wardcameron @Rosecameron @Rafe @Sarbear @Wheezieee

#keepingupwiththecamerons #obx #outerbanks #realitytv #hitshow #northcarolina #tumblrtv #cameron

joecollins the lack of empathy these people hold is truly mind blowing. Rose so out of touch with the real world and Ward not caring for his kids feelings, talking about one over the other is horrendous.

bobheys how they can sit there and say that they’re struggling when there’s people like us who don’t even have a dollar to our name is crazy

-> popeye just be happy for them dad

-> topperthornbush id listen to your son we didn’t ask for it

-> sarbear Top my dad told us to leave it remember?

-> kelcey us as in you lot. We can say what we want sarbear

-> sarbear oh shut up

jamieparkzz I don’t understand how they think they ‘deserve’ this life man. They seem so horrible, other than Wheezie everyone else needs to take the sticks out their asses.

papaj @johmbee we got a shoutout!!

-> johmbee from the only nice one!

-> papaj your welcome by the way she wouldnt have mentioned you if it weren’t for me

-> johmbee um im pretty sure she said it’s because i work for ward? Where are you in that?

-> papaj look. Just let me have it man

-> johmbee 🖕

amandastar this has really shown me a new light to them so thank you. This is awful. I hope that they can rectify our views on them over the next few episodes because I always looked up to them. This is truly disappointing

mike_carrera I dont understand everyone’s hate for the Cameron’s. They’re humans. They have money. It doesn’t make them evil. I really liked the show and I liked the different personalities from each of them.

-> papaj coming from someone with money

-> kieee Jayj??

-> papaj the truth hurts mama

juliannemarsh the ending when they were all just sat around talking was so wholesome. I’m really proud and happy for them. Keep it up!

papaj wow seeing Rafe be so normal and human around Bella and the others is unreal. Maybe he’s not as bad after all. Justice for Rafe! ✊

-> rafe fuck off your not even funny

-> papaj what can’t take a compliment? That cos your daddy was too busy with Sarah to give you any?

-> bella_bee jj I beg you stop!

-> papaj I’m being nice ma! He gotta learn it from somewhere why can’t i help

-> rafe meet me at Kildare park in ten then talk to my face prick

-> papaj already on my way princess 😘

-> bella_bee 🤦‍♀️

Episode 1 Here

Taglist: @viawritesstuff @b1mb0slvt @rafeinterlude @native2princess @cerya @aariahnaa @mymelodylvr