#i dont really like sharing my projects cause i feel like they're not very good so maybe if i just share the stuff i worked on during a

[recreationaldivorce]

as someone whose only tech qualifications are being a bit autistic about linux and submitting small PRs to random github projects it is interesting to read about the inner workings and politics of the tech industry. idk have been considering going to school for cs mostly bc the government pays you to study if it's ur first degree and it'll be nicer than retail 😭 i do hate the tech industry though if i cant find like a nonprofit or whatever who wants me as a tech worker i'd probably just not use the degree professionally lmao

[hballegro]

chapter 8. the biggie. part 1.

it is now i reveal a terrible secret to you all;

you can ctrl+f this chapter and compare it to If-- by Rudyard Kipling. and you will find that every god damn word in that stupid poem appears at least once. there are also a few paraphrased lines in there that you might notice.

WHY???

[i am very bad when it comes to gaging ppl's knowledge of poems i think everyone already knows, so yeah, the poem they're sharing is If- by Rudyard Kipling. easy for me to recognize personally because my mom memorized it all in school and would say it to me sometimes]

this process included me writing the whole thing out by hand, ctrl + f for all of the words, highlighting the ones that i had yet to use, and then keeping the list next to me while editing the first draft

and if you didnt notice this fact at all. that means i did a GOOD JOB!! cause its SUPPOSED TO BLEND IN SEAMLESSLY!!

yknow. its the moment hawkeye fell head-over-heels. and bj too, maybe. so ofc i had to include it in the chapter where they finally Kiss. they havent worked it all out yet yeah but. cmon. i cant just not. my options were to either have one of them reference it directly [im bad at that, and would be ham-fisted], or do this insane strat. and i picked the worst option. fuckin Knaves i hate you rudyard kipling for this and other reasons

also; shouted out in the ao3 endnotes but ill do it here to all sneaky-like, shout out to serpercival for both motivating me to put trapper in this chapter via loving the guy a lot and for letting me use their marvelous brain to pick out some subtle nods to Trapper John MD. i dont wanna @ people but hehe i can still link their page >:]

anyway: the painting peg talks abt being erin's favourite is California Spring, as she says, and here it is

folks i can finally use this meme i made back before i even finished chapter 4

shoutout to this video for being great to have in the bg underneath my sad love music to really set the scene. Loon moment

if you liked how papa Daniel Pierce acted in this, good! hes based off my childhood best friend's mom! she was very intimidating and always had this serious look on her face but the very first time i went over to their house she went 'psst. [best friend]. hball. come over here my husband is gonna come up the stairs and you should jump out and scare him' within the first 20 minutes!!

so basically hes stern/serious/intimidating [formal letters, the kind of man to not want to worry his son, idk just feels right] but goofy as shit and its all a facade [had hawkeye so he gotta be a lil silly, dinner table talk in Sons and Bowlers]

if you liked how i described hawkeye's childhood home GOOD!! i was describing my grandmother's house the whole time and you didnt even know. that ugly sofa is a thing my grandpa did. get pranked. always draw on experience when possible folks

i plan to have the next chapter out two days from now. THREE at the LATEST. and tomorrow i plan to publish the next Operating in Limbo chapter ~sometime~ before midnight [my time. central time.], or like 1am at the latest since i can stay up late tomorrow. unless the Troubles.

reward for scrolling this far; my saga of proto-names being shit like 'ooga booga' continues in the form of this being the working title for the Big Conversation chapter;

[straykats]

hi guys have this list of ideas that i've had forever that i wanna write but never got around to doing so. this is not intended as a prompt list, and more as me just sharing my ideas bc it feels sad if i just keep them in my head, but if anyone reads these and is like 'wait thats a cool idea' and writes a thing inspired/based off of it, pls tag me AHAHA (also come into my inbox and talk to me about any of these ideas!!!)

note that each dot point is independent of the other, even if they're grouped under the same heading, but ofc, they can be combined.

rockband au kinda stuff

bassist!changbin nvjdsknvds pls i have wanted to write bassist!changbin for so LONG?? like... idk just smth about bass lines and changbin.. sits so well. but also, drummer!changbin. pls. sir pls.

multi instrumentalist!chan, whereby the man is a one-man-band. like yeah he's part of a band and is a guitarist and vocalist, but he's more than happy to sub in for any instruments that are needed. also, guitarist!chan who utilises a loop pedal??? *deep breaths*

reader lives next door to A, who is part of a band and they do mini band practices or jam sessions at night and reader is all "if ur gonna keep me up all night then at least let me sit in and listen" and everyone becomes friends yay

cleanup crew (not in a dead-body way) that works at a ??? one of those bars or pubs that have livebands?? like to jam after closing hours/while cleaning up, and end up landing themselves a gig?? (i swear to god this has been in my ideas document since 2019/earl2020, and i only just saw it again today, so this is in no way inspired by maniac mv jkvsnvjkds)

orchestra au >:)

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. first desk violinist!A and first desk cellist!B. i'm seeing hyunjin or chan..? and like, they keep making eye contact during rehearsal or during a performance and trying not to laugh (or even worse, losing count and then one jsut watches the other frantically try to find their place/figure out when to start playing again)

or even first desk A and B, sharing a stand, with sheetmsuic anotated differently so always arguing about whos to use etcetc nvjkvs i miss orchestra

AHAHAHHA and then third wheel violist!C bvhjsvsj esp if they're first desk and they're just watching A and B HHAHAHAHA

(for those who aren't familiar, 'first desk' refers to the music stand at the front of each instrumental section in the orchestra. i phrased that bad, but it refers to the violinists/violists/cellists at the front of their respective section, closest to the conductor. in most orchestras/my experience, it's two people, and the one sitting closest to the audience in each section is deemed the 'section leader'. )

hero/villain type o' things

hero!A, villain!B and villain!C

A is being targetted by B (who is evil. very very evil.) but C is getting annoyed because reader is their target. C is a villain but in a 'i want to cause mischief for fun, not because i enjoy people getting hurt. normally i don't enjoy people gektting hurt, anyways' kinda way?? so now they're all "i'm gonna protect reader and try to get rid of B >:(

is there gonna be romance? who knows, this isn't even a wip (hence why it's in this list). does C have any motivation other than posessiveness over reader? who knows; i sure don't.

the only thing keeping me from writing this is that i dont like making a character evil evil, especially when it's a real person (ik it's fiction but it's still ??)

(visual) art school kinda thing

A has an idea for a photography assignment, and they enlist B and C to be their subjects, but A ends up being the thirdwheel behind the lense and they aren't sure if their story/concept is really a concept anymore bc B and C are really good at acting all lovey dovey???

needing a model for a fashion assignment or for an art project or smth idk but yes

misc.

this (link to an instagram video) which i saw earlier today and it's so cute and i would /love/ to write smth based on it but i don't think i can create the right atmosphere or develop it enoughvd svndksnvjsk

A is a witch and their animal companion is.. a crow. who steals things and rarely manages to deliver letters to the right person. One day B mistakenly gets a letter reader had written for someone else and they become interested in A and come to their magic shop (to return the letter, totally not to meet reader), and actually befriends the crow and the crow is kind of the wingman. Literally.

fake dating au BUT FULL TRANSPARENCY KINDA THING "Don't..  Don't fall in love with me." "Why, because you're worried i'll get hurt?" "Because then i'll feel like i'm taking advantage of you."

bookstore owner minho, who (obviously) has bookstore cats and reader who frequents 100% bc of the cats but like yknow, numbers fluctuate (its me im reader)

A wanting to go on a ferriswheel but for some strange reason they don't let solo riders on so B volunteers to go on with them because they'd come to [place] with C and D and they were about to thirdwheel on the ride anyways so might as well go with A and let C and D make out or whatever

communal kitchen ehehehe

[chemsexholmes]

3 & Trapper!

Well since you asked...

how I feel about this character:  love this guy. im a big fan. it's actually kind of funny because on my first watch of s1 (way back before I got into mash) he was my least favorite character- second to frank. but now he's really grown on me. I think both because of the character development he received during his run, as well as the character development he didn't, because he's an easy character to project how you want to see him onto without it seeming too out of character. but what we see of him (outside of the adultery and early-series typical coerciveness) I find really charming. like... he's built and funny. what more could you want in a character.

my non-romantic otp for this character:  chiefly him and hawkeye, they make a great duo romantic or not. but otherwise: margaret! I think he and margaret should've gotten to be friends. they're both so different and don't have a lot of shared baggage the way hawkeye and margaret together do, but I think they would be very good covers for eachother(me headcanoning margaret as a lesbian and trapper a bi man) if they ever needed to play it straight a la fake dating. and also they'd cause all sorts of awful problems on purpose. together, but not necessarily for the same reasons.

all the people I ship romantically with this character:  hawkeye first and foremost! i'm a big time piercentyre enjoyer, if you couldn't already tell by the (gestures) everything about me. but I also think if I hc'd margaret as bi I would ship her with him some. and again I don't know what degree of "true-love-conquers-all" romance there would be between him and bj, but I love the thought of bj had-a-crush-on-a-girl-told-her-to-get-out'ing trapper if they ever met because I think it's so funny.

my het ship: had to wrack my brain on this and I think I have to say, on a very casual level, him and some of the nurses. trapper can have a little fling. like as a treat.

my unpopular opinion about this character:  the man is super sweet. outside of the times he's not. I don't know how unpopular this is lol but I honestly think trapper is comfortable with his sexuality as a bi man. I say this all the time, but portrayals of trapper as angry and abusive cause of (internalized)homophobia really just rub me the wrong way. nothing of what we know about him from the show really gives you much of a reason to think he would be (he seemed totally cool with george and was no questions asked o.k. helping hawkeye help him), casual homophobic jokes aside. watching mash from the 21st century as a bona-fide gay person is so so funny cause the homophobic jokes are obviously meant to be taken as jokes, but if you take it all at face value it just comes across as a bunch of very mean homosexuals ribbing eachother constantly. and I like that in a tv show.

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: deeply felt loss the fact that he got as little time to develop as a character as he did. but I really think he and margaret should've gotten to be closer! certainly close allies(against frank?? the war?. hawkeye and his devious pranks???) if not friends.

my otp: all honesty I dont deal in 'one true pairings,' like im just not that kind of man. but if I had to say: him and hawkeye, hands down. like you've gotta know this about me by now, a homoerotic and deeply codependent fictional friendship is something that can be so personal. and like, to me. with them specifically, I think it's about how blatant they get to be, with trapper and his lack-of-a-complex complex about being unfaithful to louise (and that's another thing I looove pushing around in my mind. lavender marriage trapper and louise.)

my ot3: I don't have any strong feelings on this. genuinely im drawing a blank. but the thought of hawkeye and bj and trapper all together is hilarious to me. complexes and disorders triad.

a headcanon fact: trapper doesn't know shit about music like I know this to be true I feel this in my heart. but he likes the softer jazzier stuff. also I think hawkeye probably got him hooked on south pacific and he'll catch himself singing it from time to time.

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG

[somedaytakethetime]

Hello have I helped summon a whole Sandro kink brigade? 😳 Your welcome or I'm sorry I dunno which it is. 😄😄

Atleast we have a broad variety of kinks covered. 😊 Because even if he were into that I'm totally unable to hit or slap someone who hasn't slapped me or otherwise really really pissed me off first and wouldnt even dream of slapping his darling face. 🥺 I'd probably cry and also dont wanna get slapped back. 😆 I sure hope his team mates all have a hair pulling kink tho because he often grabs people by their hair to pull them in for a cuddle and its strangely sexy.

Tomorrow its Serie A & Premier league crossover time! 🇬🇧🇮🇹 There are so many pan european leagues its unbelievable! I hope I'll be able to watch atleast some of it and I'll be supporting Leicester ofcourse! Apart from Kasper they also have a really pretty defender with long hair & an equally long complicated name. 😃

I'm so glad other people also do weird superstitious stuff I know its silly but at the same time cant help it! So I was planning to drink this bottle of Italian red wine that I've had for ages during the Milan match on Sunday but its soo early so thats probably a bad idea unless I pull an allnighter but that could also be a bad idea. :D You always make my days better. 💕 I'm so glad I came across your blog by complete accident back then! I felt sort of bad for starting a gross discussion but now I know your fine with that I'm happy. 🙂 Have a good day today, goodnight! 😴

~S.A.

That's alright we love a kink brigade in this house, it makes life more exciting and amusing! 😂

I'm with you on that one, I wouldn't dare slap Sandro because I have a feeling he'd slap me right back... and that would just cause a fight to break out and I don't want to fight a man often associated with keeping knives on his body... 😳 (disclaimer: this is a joke) I think a lot of them probably are into a bit of hair pulling.... or maybe it's just me projecting my kinks again

Yay!! Thank you for the support for my clowns they're definitely gonna need it! 😭🙏🏻 I think you mean Söyüncü! Usually people call him Soy from my understanding, he's Turkish that's why his name is a bit complicated for us. xD Have I watched Turkey play just for Söyüncü? Maybe.... 😶 but he really does have such nice hair 😌

None of us are alone in the paranoid superstitions thing and I love all of this for us. We may all be a bit nutty but at least we're all together in it! 🤣 I do all sorts of oddities for matches because.... I'm trying to find something that'll work... logically one knows one isn't affecting their performance at all but... if one can avoid throwing their karma off balance or something might as well try 👁️👁️. I wouldn't advise drinking very early, especially not wine but..... I once drank cheap champagne for breakfast so... I'm not the model picture of good health here 😅

Awww, thank you so much! 😭♥️♥️♥️ I'm so happy you guys actually like it here, my little silly self loves you all so much and I'm delighted you found a place to share all your gross kinks because I welcome all discussions, especially of the spicy yet gross kind! 😌😊