#i dont expect anyone to read this lmao

[keithsangstyass]

had a new oc idea so im just gonna rant about her in a read more because i need to put these thoughts down or im going to spontaneously combust

Basic gist is that she can see spirits/sense the paranormal. I was initially thinking of making her for a Monster of the Week character, but then I was thinking about my character Specter and HOO BOY

So Specter has rapid regeneration and I've been toying with the idea of basic immortality. In the most recent Masks game we've been playing, she's struggling with feeling like she's competent in any way since she's the only one on the team without flashy powers. So, I came up with this side thing (because it's not likely to happen in canon) where the villain abducts/"kills" her and starts draining her powers to fuel their own immortality.

In comes new OC (tentatively named "Jenny"). She's just moved from another town (in the shared universe of the TTRPG group I'm in, I think it'd be cute if she was from "Willow Bluff" which is where all the spooky/paranormal stories take place) and is basically trying to get away from using her powers. Yeah, superheroes have powers, but they aren't creatures of the night so that's better...right?

Nope! Day one, Jenny is on her way to school, and sees a spirit orb. It's not completely unusual, everywhere is going to have orbs, but this one stands out for whatever reason. She winds up following it back to the base where Specter frequented. Once there, the orb takes shape into a person, and it's obvious that they're trying to get the attention of somebody.

Jenny tries to get the team to see Specter, but they're all convinced she's dead/gone. Still, Jenny winds up winning them over, and she hangs around them while keeping an eye on Specter. In the meantime, she and Specter get closer since Jenny is literally the only person that can see her.

Of course, Specter is still upset that her friends can't see or help her, because she has some memory issues (cue angsty trying to reach out to her friends or yell their names and no one answers (': ) . She just knows that the team feels like home, but bits and pieces are coming back. Unfortunately, the more Specter learns, the harder it is for her to manifest. Jenny does what she can to help, but they both start to realize that Specter's time is running out, and that's when they learn that Specter's body is still alive.

Cue big rescue scene and bringing Specter back to life. Of course, at the end, Jenny is cupping Specter's spirit orb/soul as it flickers and nearly fades, but she gets there just in time to bring Specter back.

Specter lives again and she and Jenny fall in love and it's cute and yes ;.;

Jenny wouldn't really be much of an active super in the scenario, more she just likes the team as friends, and wants to help them get back their missing teammate (even if they don't believe her). She's usually pretty quiet and sweet, but a little stubborn when she wants to be. She's awkward because she's bigger for a teenager both in height and weight plus the otherness of her abilities. The team and Specter both help her feel welcome and loved though and aklsfdkl

I love her. Even just as a character without the little story blurb I've been thinking of.

[rigginsstreet]

*alexa play he had it coming*

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[loveume]

# birthday twin 🫂🎂

the morning seemed to flow just like water.

you were getting ready to have brunch with friends, leisurely doing your skincare and makeup before starting on your hair. picking your outfit took almost no time as you had an idea of your options from looking through your closet the night before.

a light colored sundress with small embroidered flowers was what you ended up choosing. not something you wore often but you thought you'd try to look good for your friends at the very least.

"you sure you don't want me to drive you?" a sleepy voice mumbles.

you're busy rifling through the jewelry box atop your vanity, but you look over your shoulder to respond.

isagi is sprawled across your mattress, buried under the blankets and looking quite cozy.

"no, baby, my ride's almost here. besides, you should rest before your afternoon plans, i remember how late you got in last night." you assure him.

you find the pieces you were searching for right before you phone vibrates in the pocket of your dress. your friend must be outside.

you move to stand in front of your boyfriend and lean down to kiss his forehead.

"happy birthday, baby. have a fun time with the guys, okay?"

isagi catches your wrist in his hand before you can stray too far. "happy birthday, hope you have the best brunch." he replies, kissing the back of your hand softly.

"you're so pretty," he says as you reach the bedroom door, "my girl."

it takes everything you have in you to go to brunch.

the next time you see your boyfriend is in his parents dining room. both sides of your family had planned an elaborate joint birthday dinner, graciously hosted in the isagi household.

he's dressed sharply, a button down with the sleeves rolled up and slacks with his hair pushed up and away from his forehead, likely due to his mother's insistence.

you've done an outfit change as well, trading the sundress for a flowy blouse and your "good" jeans.

isagi has you in his arms as soon as you get close enough. "you look nice," you say, greeting him with a kiss.

"you can thank my mother," he replies, hands settling against your lower back.

dinner with your families is a lovely affair. the food is delicious and the conversation is lively. and even though you and yoichi had insisted on no cake, his father picked one up anyway. "it's nice to have cake on someone else's birthday!" your nieces and nephews faces are of course covered in frosting moments after the group sings happy birthday.

it's dark out by the time you and isagi stumble into your shared home.

"i can get everything set up in the living room, could you just grab me a change of clothes please?"

soon, you're seated on your living room floor squished against your boyfriend. a small red velvet cake sits in front of you with two candles, as well as a bottle of champagne. the tv show the two of you were currently binging was playing across the screen.

"i still think we should have got a different cake flavor."

you gasp in offense, "yoichi this is my favorite cake flavor! we had yours last year."

he sighs before leaning over to light the two candles. "okay, you're up. make a wish, babe."

you think for a moment before closing your eyes and blowing one of the candles out. isagi follows suit before pulling the candles out.

you feed each other forkfuls of cake between laughter and sips of champagne.

later when the episode comes to an end and you're more curled into isagi's side than you were earlier you think about how grateful you are.

as if reading your thoughts isagi says; "i love sharing a birthday with you."

you lock eyes with him and feel as if you're about to start sobbing, "i love sharing a birthday with you too, baby."

the rest of the night is spent sharing kisses and quiet comfort, in you and isagi's little corner of the world.

[firestorm09890]

Kingdom Hearts: Nobody Anatomy, Physiology, Psychology, Ontology??? headcanons

saw people talking about more monstrous Nobodies a bit ago (okay it was a long while ago at this point, this has been in drafts for ages) and that reminded me to share some of my thoughts. it spiraled kind of out of control and now this post is ridiculously long. three parts: the physical side, the less physical side, and other thoughts. most of it’s under the cut. enjoy

The physical side

All of these apply to ALL Nobodies, not just the funny squiggly ones.

Alrighty, here’s my proposal: Nobodies don’t have any internal organs. Even the ones that retain their human form. They may look and act like they’ve got regular human body processes, but I like to think that it’s just a hollow imitation. This is why every single Nobody has an absolutely snatched waist

So they’d lack both their metaphysical hearts and their real hearts!

The Organization was founded by a bunch of researchers who got into this mess via unethical human experimentation so you know they tried to pin down the specifics of Nobody biology early on, but every time they tried to use any medical equipment it would come up empty or just straight up not work. And then none of them were willing to get vivisected for the cause lmao

I think the greater Nobodies (human-shaped ones) are made up of the same weird, rubbery flexible stuff that lesser Nobodies are, but just don’t have that flexibility because hey! They’ve got a human form to maintain! They may seem human, but on a biological level, they’re closer to the squiggly guys than an actual human. This is why it’s possible for Xemnas to turn greater Nobodies into Dusks. We never see him do it, but I doubt it’s an empty threat. I don’t think there were any other greater Nobodies in the Organization in the past, but he’s probably transformed one of the specialized Nobodies, like a Dancer or Dragoon, into one of the lowest-ranked ones, like Dusks or Creepers or something.

All Nobodies have the Nobody sigil somewhere on them. For lesser Nobodies it’s easily visible, but for greater Nobodies, it’s on their backs, and since they’re always wearing those coats, no one ever sees it.

If a Nobody is cut, they don’t bleed- instead, little wisps of darkness leak out of the wound, like what happens in the Org’s death animations but on a smaller scale. They can heal faster than regular humans thanks to ✨something something darkness and nothingness✨.

Though Nobodies are supposedly shunned by both light and darkness, they are more aligned with dark than light. Any Nobody can wield light, not just Roxas (as shown by Zexion in Chain of Memories), but it takes great difficulty. However, they can wield darkness with ease.

Nobodies do need to sleep as regularly as humans, but can last much longer without food or water. Rest? Yes! Nutrience? Unimportant

They have no body heat- that’s a corpse, baby!!! That does bring up some questions about thermoregulation. I don’t feel like thinking about it tbh. There’s lots of questions in this vein: can Nobodies get drunk? I think they probably can’t. In 358/2 Days, Demyx says “Wait, training!? That sounds like work, which means sweating. Which is gross.” and that... complicates things! I could chalk it up to how a lot of people in Organization XIII have a tendency to keep acting like they’re humans and nothing’s changed, even though it has.

Nobodies are “born” in any world in the Realm Between. Roxas first appeared in Twilight Town, but some might have shown up by Castle Oblivion, or even the Mysterious Tower (god bless). Showing up in The World That Never Was is probably the most common.

The less physical side

It’s quite an unlikely coincidence that every apprentice of Ansem the Wise had a standout, super strong heart that allowed them to retain their human forms as Nobodies. I think it had something to do with being stabbed by a keyblade, not just their wills alone. That would also align with 9-12 being tied to a keyblade legacy. A strong will is important, yes, but you only get to be human-looking if there was a keyblade involved.

In a Nobody, the most important part of this will is the will to live. Should that ever wane, they Nobody will begin to destabilize, and eventually, they will return to nothingness.

Nobodies have hearts, and they do not have hearts. They have feelings, and they do not have feelings. It’s like the observer effect in quantum mechanics. Anyone who can sense hearts or feelings or whatever will not be able to sense anything from a Nobody, no matter how far along in development that heart may be, reinforcing the belief that yeah there’s nothing there. But there is... and also there isn’t. Both statements are true. A friend described it as “Schrödinger’s Feelings” and it’s the most accurate “Schrodinger’s ____” joke I’ve ever seen made. Someone else described it as depression which is also accurate (source: i’ve had depression). There are bouts of emotion occasionally, but those emotions are dulled (and usually negative) and most of the time there’s only suffocating apathy.

There is some truth to the statement that Nobodies’ feelings are simply recreations of what they might’ve felt back when they had hearts, but it’s also bogus. Memories are important to the makeup of a Nobody, but that statement is often used as an excuse that covers up the reality that there was a feeling there. It’s very easy to lie to yourself when there’s mostly data supporting your argument and any evidence against is less common and easily disputed by “logic” like this.

The most prominent “feelings” in Nobodies are an intense sense of longing and dissatisfaction. For some, the longing is for a heart, but for others it is aimless. That was the idea behind all the Nobodies having little hobbies like cooking and puzzles and reading magazines in the manga. They’re trying to fill that void with anything they can.

In one of the novels, Demyx, #1 proponent of the idea that Nobodies do have hearts actually, gives us this:

I play and play, but I can’t make a satisfying sound.

In truth, I know I won’t be satisfied in all eternity.

If you don’t have a heart, there’s no such thing as satisfaction.

You don’t even think you want to be satisfied.

And yeah, the novels aren’t canon, but it’s still interesting to see and think about. Nothing you do is good enough to fill that emptiness, but you can barely bring yourself to care about it anyway. Yep, depression!

Nobodies are prone to a high amount of introspection. It’s an inherited trait all Nobodies share- if you manage to survive past humanity in a bizarre fucked up state like this, you’re naturally going to be thinking about it. However, they’re all also incredibly bad at it, and generally do a horrible job at self-reflection. This is just an unfortunate coincidence

A Nobody can regrow a heart if they make connections, and are seen and acknowledged by others. Pretty sure that’s just canon. HOWEVER, Nobodies cannot help each other grow hearts- this is why none of the Organization regrew hearts after 10 years of being around each other, and despite connections within the group. 0+0 is still 0, after all. That’s what makes the policy of going undetected on missions so insidious. They’re never allowed the chance to regrow a heart. I’ve already talked about it somewhere else, but this is why Roxas grows a heart so fast- he ignores that rule, for the most part. Axel’s interactions with Sora are also what kickstarts his heart growth.

Hypothetically, since someone doesn’t have to remember a memory for Castle Oblivion to draw on it, the mechanics with the cards and the rooms could have been used to help Xemnas recall his past- considering how much time he spent talking to Aqua’s armor, I think that’s something he might’ve been interested in. HOWEVER! Since the Twilight Town card came from the memories on the other side of Sora’s heart, I propose that the properties of Castle Oblivion would have no effect on Nobodies. RIP.

Other thoughts

I’m not saying Ansem the Wise and Yensid were right about Nobodies! I do think they’re different from humans on a fundamental level, but demonizing them is Not Cool

On the idea that Nobodies aren’t meant to exist: Well. Just like before it’s total bogus bc the main perpetrators of that idea were either bigoted about it or liars or both but I think it’s a little more complicated than “everyone is flat wrong about this”. Nobodies are essentially naturally-occurring byproducts of Heartless. Most Nobodies (or, at least, the lesser ones, based on that one cutscene in kh2 where hearts rain down on The World That Never Was and we see a bunch of Dusks grasping for them) seem to have a drive to reclaim the heart they’ve lost- if reclaimed, that would mean they wouldn’t be a Nobody anymore. Creatures born in worlds of neither light nor darkness, created only through the destruction of another and only some of the time, who don’t even want to exist like this themselves... that’s what “Nobodies aren’t meant to exist” means to me, I think. BEAR IN MIND “MEANT” IS NOT THE SAME AS “DESERVE”

And then! There’s Nobodies who defy that! Or, uh, Nobody, singular. Roxas goes “bro I don’t care I want to exist as I am” and he does that (Naminé... didn’t really seem to share that opinion, if I’m remembering correctly. Probably because DiZ hammered it into her head that she didn’t deserve to exist). I wish we had seen something like that from one of the regular Nobodies- why should recompletion and/or regaining a heart be the ideal? Why do they have to die again in order to be “right”? It just further perpetuates that idea DiZ and Yensid pushed in kh2: Nobodies are Wrong and shouldn’t be around. Unless you’re special like Roxas or Naminé in which case it’s okay. But for everyone else it’s recomplete or bust... anyway this is a tangent I did not mean to go on with this post-

I think it’s interesting, how they’re made of nothingness and their existence is “nonexistent”. Nothingness is, as an element, something, as opposed to true nothing, which is the absence of anything. Nonexistence implies existence. It’s like how in math, sometimes an answer to a problem will be DNE-- that’s Nobodies, and “nothingness”. “Does not exist”, but in writing the answer, it does exist, as a nonexistent entity. As opposed to just... not having a math problem at all, and therefore not having a place to write a solution. That is true nothingness- all the Nobodies of people whose hearts weren’t strong enough to create Nobodies fall under this category. They don’t exist for real. Nothing as something vs nothing as nothing- ah fuck I just realized this is the second time I’ve used a math analogy for kingdom hearts. shit

in conclusion

that’s all of it. probably. i like nobodies a whole lot. now that i’m thinking about it i should’ve made this multiple posts instead of one huge one. if you read all of this you earn my undying love

[good-beans]

Ough I love being ace but I sometimes I wish I was allo enough to do my homework 😔👍

[the-kneesbees]

I'm a firm believer that people should consume whatever media makes them happy, because that's the whole point...I won't make fun of someone for liking taylor swift or the kissing booth or whatever (ok, fine, I do poke fun at my friends for it sometimes- but in reality, outside of my little circles, I don't give a shit. it's not that serious) because if it brings you joy, then thats all that matters (it's still important to look at things from a critical perspective, and acknowledge whatever problems they might have, but that's not what this is about)

but I do think it's really important, in addition to doing whatever makes you happy, no matter how "mainstream" it might be, to watch/listen/whatever to some weirder shit...

not to sound pretentious but like. you can't spend your whole life watching brain rotting rom-coms with all white casts...go watch a slightly problematic black and white movie in a language you don't understand..go listen to some music recorded by three dudes on an iphone where you can hear th singers voice crack..put down milk and honey and go read some freaky poetry about cannibalism or something....

you can hate every second of it, it doesn't have to be your thing, but you have to try to challenge your brain once in a while or itll completely turn to mush and you won't be able to think critically, or have "deep" (for lack of a better word) conversations about anything

[qilyns]

long ass psychology hot take / personality notes headcanon / me rambling about my least favorite recurring joke within ganyu's background . tw for mentions of eating disorders + armchair psychology

psa: i'm aware it may be contentious for me to use the lens of eating disorders to make conclusions about interpersonal relationships, but i think many people who have gone through this for themselves can tell you that the two are intimately tied together.

ganyu's commitment to emotionally isolating herself is not only an expression of her qilin heritage but also a display of restraint as a warped idea of self–discipline (in reality this falls further on the scale of self–punishment) which is also mirrored in her disordered eating habits. wether it was intentional by hyv or not, i still see it as a theme that informs her personality not only in regards to how she presents herself but also in how she interacts and forms relationships (or doesn't) with the people around her.

the fandom likes to make fun of the monster choking incident from when she was younger, which the text also enforces by describing it in a very humorous tone. i can accept that it wasn't meant to be that deep but based on her behavior for the past 3000+ YEARS i think we can infer that it was a deeply upsetting moment for ganyu regardless of how humorous it may have been for the other adepti. many instances relating to her weight are described as being intensely embarrassing for her, like cloud retainer sharing her childhood stories with the traveler during her story chapter (fucked up fr... dumbass bird) and her literally running away in frustration from feeling humiliated by someone so close to her.

" another secret that ganyu is anxious to keep hidden is the fact that she is watching her physique. " ₍ ... ₎ " during the archon war, she once choked a giant monster to death after getting lodged in its throat when it tried to eat her.. " ₍ ... ₎ " for  ganyu,  avoiding  any  similarly  embarrassing  episodes  in  the  future  is  an  absolute  must. "

" whenever she finds herself being drawn towards some delicious dish, she will attempt to reassert her self-control. " ₍ ... ₎ " the difficulty of such a challenge is second only to finding a flaming flower atop dragonspine. " ₍ ... ₎ " but she is not one to give up half-way through the ascent. "

canonically having an eating disorder for more than three millennia is not only fucked up on hyv's part for.. coming up with the idea.. but i think it does show us her recurring tendency to deny herself of potentially enjoyable experiences (such as eating with others, which is a big aspect of socializing within liyuen culture.) to maintain a strict status quo. she worries about people distancing themselves from her if they find out the truth of her being half-qilin, she worries about people distancing themselves based on her physical appearance, and she worries about how people perceive her in a professional context, she worries about being replaced professionally and how that would eliminate her role within human society entirely.

the point of all this rambling is this: it's my personal headcanon that two big aspects of her personality are restraint and self punishment as means to control her circumstances and avoid embarrassment and how in turn this makes her averse to forming deep bonds with others. i don't read this as a matter of vanity since, in spite of all her efforts, there's no sense of accomplishment in keeping these secrets. only endless worrying and stress.

however, as someone who has experienced disordered eating for many years in real life, there is also an unspoken sense of accomplishment within this idea of discipline. the text describes her as " not one to give up half-way through the ascent. " which is notably aspirational in tone and tells us that this is something she sees as a good thing, not merely as a struggle to avoid embarrassment but as a pursuit of self–improvement. obviously this is fucked up and not the case but i think it's a very obvious coping mechanism to try and find a noble purpose within something you're suffering – otherwise the suffering itself may be seen as a source of shame and failure.

and on the aspirational note, the qilin in real life mythology is described as being lonely by nature but there's really nothing in the mythology of genshin to suggest this might be the case in universe. i see it more as a motif for her struggle than a definitive characteristic of hers, and perhaps isolation it's a way for her to aspire to embrace this side of her heritage which she obviously does not identify with on a deeper level? she does insist on describing herself as inhuman so perhaps it's also an attempt to delineate herself from others.....

so anyway, i believe that this idea of restraint plays into her loneliness as an inhuman. we don't see any examples of her being rejected from human society other than her own insistence that there is no place for her beyond her function. someone like yanfei is clearly able to live and thrive within liyue harbor, so why not ganyu?

i propose that this isolation is more or less self imposed. microdosing on (imagined?) societal rejection to avoid confronting loneliness and strife within actual interpersonal relationships. cloud retainer says that life as an adeptus in juyeun karst would be too lonely for her to cope with but ganyu insists that the loneliness she feels among other people is more personal and therefore harder to endure.

as a character, she often takes steps to avoid embarrassment and rejection but she doesn't necessarily shy away from suffering itself. if the writers truly want us to believe she goes without close friendships or romantic companionship for decades if not centuries at a time (she rarely if ever brings up anyone from the past other than the adepti and rex lapis) then i think the only reasonable conclusion is that she imposed those restraints on herself and that she probably does find some level of comfort within that loneliness, even if it's starting to wear on her by the time that genshin impact takes place.

many psychologists adhere to the idea of the cyclical disorder, which is essentially a process of using restrictive behaviors to exert control over negative feelings or dissatisfactions with life, which are recurring emotions for any person regardless of how long they live. i don't think she is a hermit though. i think that, similar to the cyclical nature of disordered eating, her disordered idea of relationships is to abstain for as long as she possibly can and then punish herself afterwards by seeking relief in familiar habits of isolation.

i imagine her restrictive eating began as a way to exert control over the way people view her, and i think the fact that she has maintained these ideas for so. fucking. long. implies that this mindset probably extends further than we ever get to see in our role as traveler within the story

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[mieczyhale]

note: i spent quite a bit of time rambling, and it truly is rambling, so i have not gone back and re-read any of this.

-

you can hate someone all you want and say whatever you want about them, but to attack their appearance and a speech impediment is gross. idc who the fucker is. his appearance has nothing to do with his behavior and making fun of the way someone talks?? really?? not only does that also have nothing to do with his behavior, but a lot of people have speech impediments and he's not gonna see your ~jokes~ but they will

go after him for shit that's relevant. go after his actions

anyway

dude needs a psych eval, therapy, and anger management at the very least imo. he's never really hidden that he isn't mentally thriving, but there is a lot more going on up there than depression.

-

as someone who can react aggressively, even violently, when frustrated enough or angry enough - and has said some awful shit in the moment that felt out of my control (there is no brain to mouth contact in that moment) - i know there is shit that can be done to help that. medications, therapy, learning redirection, knowing when to exit a situation before you hit that point, and other shit.

i've been struggling with this again lately as my mental health is shit, but it's still better than it used to be years ago, and i'm aware of it and what a problem it is. bc real talk: i did not think it was an issue. it was like "yeah i'm yelling and screaming and throwing things and breaking shit (not all at once, thank god) but so what?? that's just how i am". you can truly be so unaware of yourself and your own shit it's ridiculous

not saying he's got the same shit in his head but from personal experience i wouldn't rule it out entirely. there are a lot of mental illnesses out there and things that can get messed up in you. nothing excuses his behavior, but there could be an explanation.

once again: explaining =/= excusing

and if there is something genuinely fucked up (well..) then he can get help. people don't like to think about or consider it for some reason, but even people who do abhorrent things can get better and change (if they want to) not that that would make up for anything but it would keep a repeat from happening with someone else. and idk i believe there is good in almost everyone. he fucked up a helluva lot but i don't think he's this unsalvagable evil demon. he's a human being

okay yeah editing one thing in and that is that there could be something mentally at play, or medically, or he could just be an asshole that needs to learn and do better (i'm not ruling it out entirely) or it could be a combination deal. idk. i'm just not a big fan of calling someone a piece of shit with the tone that that IS who they are. the end. that they've always been a piece of shit and they always will be and there is no hope for them.

and maybe that's one of the reasons i'm being so unwell about this. because, top 10 anime betrayals aside, i've seen bits of myself in his videos prior to all of this blowing up - the good and the bad. i've seen a bit of the worst part of me in the clips of his aggression and threats. but despite what i feel and say when i've gotten like that in the past i never meant it outside of that moment. you calm down and you genuinely hate yourself because what the fuck was that shit and you feel embarrassed (and for me getting embarrassed usually manifests as anger) and it's just shit

i dont tend to develop parasocial attachments but in the span of like.. a month maybe here we fucking are i guess. it's not great, i'm not thrilled by it - especially now - but it really got me out of nowhere and bc i have attachment issues (there are many reasons i'm in therapy thanks) that's.. probably also part of the unwellness i've been feeling (i keep calling it "unwell" bc truly i do not have the words to describe it beyond that)

there are people who say they "got a vibe" or "never liked him" or whatever but could not be less me. he quickly became a comfort channel and there was nothing that tipped me off that anything was wrong. his channels spark(ed) joy (serious videos aside, but even then there was comfort in seeing someone get so passionate about things that mattered)

i enjoy him and his content, both solo and joint, and - saying this bc i've seen more than one comment on it - i like listening to him speak and i like watching him speak. his lisp is cute and he has a nice voice. his humor is great, the fashion and vibes were immaculate before whatever the fuck happened that ended up in him removing color from everything he owns. and growing that mustache situation

he's someone who is seriously not well, he did and said godawful trash shit, and he should face consequences. none of this post is me saying he should be forgiven with zero punishment. people shouldn't push it aside just because they're fans

this was not a victimless situation, nor was it a first time, from what some people have said

you can be a fan and admit when the person you're a fan of fucked up / did something awful. being a fan does not mean excusing their every word and action. a*ex is a person. a human being. not a demon but also not a god. and he should be treated as such. stop putting strangers on pedestals. i might be incredibly unwell about things but at least i never thought he was perfect or whatever. anyone can let you down at any time, be it content creators or actors or whatever, so please be careful and be at least a little sane about them)

i'm sure i have more to say about this but my brain really said "we've done enough with serious words for now" and i can't remember where i was going with this - if anywhere. maybe this was just supposed to be a rambling vent - which, if so, mission accomplished. i know it was triggered by people attacking a*ex for the wrong things, bc going after shit like a speech impediment is so low and so not relevant to the situation, and then i just got my feelings and thoughts everywhere. eugh.

i've watched a couple videos on the evidence (sound off w/ captions bc reading vile things is easier than hearing them) (i do the same thing with my voicemails tbh. i never listen to them, i read them. not bc they're vile but bc i just get less anxious if i don't have to hear it. idk) and while each covered the biggest things (so far anyway) i certainly am not going to claim to know it all. but there have been video clips, audio clips, screenshots across them all - each video having some of the same pieces but also pieces the others don't show or touch on. so.. i've seen.. enough.

i really need to disengage from all of this, and i sure would like to, i'd love to not be aware of this level of "drama" regarding someone i'm a fan of as it's breaking, but i can't go back in time and stop myself from clicking on his channel and i can't undo liking his videos so here i fucking am

-

"he's cancelled!" bitch shut the fuck up. canceling isn't a real thing. look at anyone with a fanbase who has done bad shit. they still have a fanbase, they still do whatever.

"his career is over!" maybe, maybe not, i for one can't see the future but i wouldn't place bets that it is. because again: look at what people have been accused of, and have done, and even if they suffered real consequences for their actions they came back from it.

maybe focus on what genuine consequences there could be

OR - better yet - focus on showing support for the victim. yeah actually maybe lets do that. maybe care about a victim more than you hate their abuser. just tossing that thought out there as an option

-

i keep thinking i've reached the end of what i have to say and then some part of me, the apparently country part that stormed out the saloon doors, comes slamming back through a moment later - cowboy hat waving wildly - with a yell of "AND ANOTHER THING-"

-

on top of everything else - and i know this is going to sound so shitty and so immature - i do not like being told what to do. to like.. a really aggressive degree. it's one of the traits i got from my mom. if you tell me to stop watching something or stop listening to something, to do or not do something, you have almost guaranteed that i am going to do the exact opposite.

and tbh... if we cut off content from anyone who ever did bad things there would be like.. no content left. which might sound fine to you, you weird purity culture angel fucks, but i personally like to find relaxation and joy where i can get it. i personally like to enjoy life when i can. mostly because it isn't an easy thing for me to do, so if some band's music is a vibe or some guy posts random videos that make me smile or laugh then brother i am in. not necessarily on a personal level but then maybe yeah on a personal level. i don't know. i'm just saying words at this point. not that i don't mean them, but they're a bit of a mess.

i've been awake for over four hours

it is 7:52 AM

i don't know why i'm still trying to get my thoughts and feelings out.

maybe because i want those things to get across as clearly as they can. i don't want there to be a misunderstanding if it can be avoided. i want it to be understood (as much as it can be) why i think the way i do about all this and what i don't think about it all (like no, i don't think a*ex is innocent. do i think we have the full story?? i don't know. probably not. even with evidence we've only heard half directly, but he certainly did more than enough wrong and there should be consequences. real ones.)

all this and i still don't feel like i've gotten out everything i wanted to properly, which is whatever. i can make another rambling vent post later if i have to. i just hoped unloading all of this would make me feel a bit better, maybe a little less anxiety-induced nauseous, idk. it kind of worked i guess

-

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr: i'm not an empath but i can be intensely empathetic, as well as intensely sympathetic, to my own detriment and my brother in christ has all of this really driven that home

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr 2.0: person who is multiple mental illnesses in a trenchcoat and feels Too Much affected by situation Too Much at least partially due to mental illnesses

[weed666]

god dammit i really need to finish my big stupid fanfic already. auaurghrugr

[catboii]

← Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 → Full Thread

[Day ####]

It’s been several days since there were any markable concerns. No breaches, no alerts, no deaths on the clock... Everything has been running smoothly. As it should. 

The Overseer of the current area leads their Agents through the corridors, writing up directives for the daily observations and handing them to the respective Agent.

The Anomalies here are usually very quiet, although sometimes, one of them will just sort of- change… Wake up… And then they completely flip. You can’t trust them. Sometimes Agents have underestimated what seemed like a normal inanimate object, like the hairbrush that hypnotises people, pulling them with psychic tendrils into its room, so that they'll brush their hair with it, then two weeks later they'll wake up from a coma; or a small animal, like the mouse that turned out to eat concrete and burrowed out by nibbling around the steel reinforcements before anyone noticed. There was so much paperwork...

Most of the chambers look the same, bland, metallic grey inside and out, the only difference being the cautionary and instructional stickers of varying sizes, shapes and colours, on the corridor-side of their doors. Some have more than others, and some seem to tell a story. 'No eye contact', 'No turning your back', 'No auditory interaction', 'Unconfirmed: Inanimate', etc; the list could be endless as more instructions are being discovered and printed every day, although it's not a fast process as the braille needs to be sized and punched correctly. Whenever something is Suspected, they use a medium sized Yellow sticker, with a dashed border for the colourblind. If something is confirmed, then it’s a larger sized Red sticker with a bold border. There are the occasional smaller, Green stickers, with a wavy line as a border; this makes them look more whimsical and friendly, although doesn’t mean that whatever is being contained is safe, just that the action is ‘safe’, such as 'Safe: Eye contact', 'Safe: Slow movement', 'Safe: Liquid exposure'. As it’s quite difficult to confirm that something truly is ‘safe’, there aren’t as many Green stickers as the others, and they’re easy to peel off, in case something turns out to not actually be safe... There are alot of Yellow stickers through the halls, as it’s all too easy to have an unconfirmed suspicion, rather than to prove that something is safe or not. 

After a few Agents are sent on their assignments, the Overseer leads the remaining toward another bland silver door, with the usual square viewing window and several Yellow stickers: the expected, and potentially obvious instructions when approaching any wild animal, ‘maybe don’t touch or feed this thing, it might bite, but we’re not sure’. There are also some White and, some rarer, Black stickers though. The White stickers are confirmed guidelines, Agents normally call the neat little sections of White stickers Biogs, as they’re a bit like summaries, and you need a better name than ‘what do their Whites say?’ when discussing cases with your peers. The Black stickers, however, are important notes to keep in mind if you have to go into the room. These are always very specific, but usually a little cryptic, as if their info is on a need to know basis. Which it sort of is, as they only get explained to you if you’re the one going in. 

Most Anomalies in this section have the White 'Does not eat' sticker, as they’re inanimate objects (less of an instruction, just an observation that it doesn’t need to be fed, although someone must have tried, to be able to confirm it, which summons amusing images of Agents trying to coax mysterious Diaries or amulets to nibble on some fruit or a raw steak), but this one also has this sticker, and it appears to be some kind of small animal. Trying to peer through the door window, Agent 23 thinks it looks like a crow sitting in the middle of the floor, although there are too many layers of thick, toughened glass to get a clear view from this distance. There also appears to be a large, Red, octagonal sticker ,right beside the White one that looks like the 'Do not approach' instruction, based on the size and shape, but it’s covered by a Black sticker frantically scribbled over with what looks like black sharpie? As if someone was trying to take it back, but didn’t have the right sticker to hand. The white text is still easily readable, and says 'Caution level C-3'. The Caution level 'C' stickers are reserved for the Anomalies that have shown cannibalistic traits, which is a rabbit hole of a definition when you consider that these Anomalies aren’t human, and eating other animals is a perfectly normal carnivore activity… for animals. 

But why would a creature that doesn’t eat, according to that White sticker, show interest in eating other creatures..? 

Moreover, the level is a scale, like 1:1 or 1:10 in scale models. 'C-1' is for creatures that will attack and/or eat other creatures the same size as them, 'C-0.5' would mean creatures half their size, etc. So 'C-3' means that it’s 'shown an interest' in attacking and eating something three times its own size. Which, based on how small it is, doesn’t sound too worrisome. And besides, this must have been observed before it was put into containment...

As the Overseer looks over the paperwork left hooked on the door, a couple of the Agents peer through to the chamber. There are three interlock doors, which seems excessive for such a small creature. Two is perfectly fine for most of the other, larger Anomalies. Besides, the extra door space takes away some of the chamber space, leaving it alot smaller, even if the creature inside isn’t very big itself. There aren’t any perches or furniture inside, nothing for enrichment. There are also two chairs outside the doors, one either side, when there are usually just two. Only one is the metal kind with the little document shelf under the seat though, the other doesn’t look like it belongs here, more like it’d been dragged from somewhere else, possibly a staff room on another floor, since the ones on this floor are cushioned. 

“Alright,” the Overseer starts confidently, “have any of you had any experience with this Anomaly?” Two of the six Agents raise their hands, one being Agent 23, a low level Agent who'd been working at the Facility for three years so far. “Perfect. Now please lower your hand if any of those experiences have been negative in any way, if you have verbally expressed any negative thoughts around this doorway, or if you may have been overheard disciplining another Anomaly or member of staff in this hallway, at all”, they slightly raise their voice at the end, as if to emphasise how important this was. Agent 23 keeps her hand raised, but she couldn’t see why any of the staff would do anything like that; however, the other Agent had already lowered his hand, but Agent 23 wasn’t sure at which point of the statement. The Overseer looks down at the clipboard, ‘uh-huh’s to themself a few times, then hangs it back on the designated hook. “Alright. You may lower your hand now. The rest of you, I trust you have jobs to do, you’re dismissed. Agent 23, I’ll instruct you on your tasks for the next…” they pause, as if thinking, “week. If all goes well”. 

The instructions sound like the usual, to observe the Anomaly through the cameras and the door windows, to record everything on the sheet every hour. Although there are also extra, lined sheets to fill in if the Anomaly tries to communicate. Any sign of intelligence should be recorded. It's been reported to react to the verbal greetings given by the Agents through the intercom, and if someone gets close to the glass, sometimes it seems to be looking toward the door. The Overseer has instructed 23 to actually try to get it to respond this time, however she can. If it looks like it’s reacting to the intercom, to continue talking, to see if it’s just the noise, or if it’s the actual speech it recognises. There are the odd notes in the ‘Guide’ that say that it has been observed to obey basic commands such as ‘step away from the door’, ‘stand still’ and such like. 

All of the initial pages in the observation log seem to have been crudely torn out, then the first intact pages have nothing written on them aside from the first boxes having mention of observations being difficult, due to the Anomaly being ‘outside’. 23 decides this must mean before it was put into containment, and was just being observed; because if it had breached containment, then there would be far more paperwork, and more Red stickers on the door. Breachers normally went to a far more secure floor several stories lower, and had their own guards stationed at every checkpoint. The pages documenting the last month or so are all basically uneventful, and nothing of note jumps out at her. 

As 23 turns on the intercom to read the obligatory greeting statement, there’s a slight electrical crackle-buzz as the speaker turns on, and a red LED indicator light at the bottom lights up. The small, crow-like creature turns its head toward the soft sound, its eyes dull and reflectionless, staring slightly off from the main door camera, as the intercom speaker is about a foot underneath. “Greetings. I’m Agent 23,” she begins, trying to sound casual, though professional, as if she doesn’t feel the least bit silly trying to talk to a bird, who probably doesn’t understand anything she’s saying, “I’ll be observing you today. I’ll be here for-” she briefly flicks her eyes down from the monitor to check her notes, quickly counting the start to finish times in her head, “Six hours. Please go about your business as normal.” She lets go of the intercom button, and it makes that same quiet crackle, then silence resumes. 

The creature keeps staring toward the speaker for a moment, then, as 23 observes as instructed, she thinks it glances up to the main camera, but it keeps turning, openly facing one of the side cameras, just staring toward it for what feels like the longest moment. 23 starts to wonder if it can somehow see her, and that its watching her, so she makes a little waving motion with her hand at the monitor to see if it'll react… But then it turns to face the back wall, away from the three cameras pointing toward it, and stays facing that direction.

The rest of the day is relatively uneventful, another Agent nearby makes a breakthrough when they say they got a recording of an inanimate object moving, and they furiously scribble in their observational notes. 23’s ward just sits there, once or twice taking a few slow steps toward one side of the room, a few hours later going to the other side. 

Once it’s time to finish up, she stands, stretching her arms above her head, making a little squeak noise through her nose as her spine pops, and when she turns toward the intercom, she notices the creature on the camera monitor, looking toward the door. Perhaps it could see her shadow move? She pauses briefly before pressing the intercom, there’s no movement at the buzz this time, not even a twitch. “This is Agent 23. I have concluded today’s observations. I will be returning tomorrow. Thankyou for your cooperation.”

[martyrbat]

👍👍

[minustwofingers]

Neil did say he wouldn't do a story that goes from enemies to friends concerning Ellie and Abby. Concerning the Abby being gay, I haven't seen anything from the writers that strictly says Abby is straight, but at the same time going from what I have seen in my respective playthroughs leads me to currently believe she isn't. If you do end up attempting to write them as a pairing, to stay true to both characters, sparing Joel and Jesse, etc and not go from canon would help with that because knowing Ellie, if Abby kills Joel especially in front of her and then they start dating, it would go against Ellie's character and it wouldn't be an accurate depiction of her. Then on another level it could easily delve into a toxic relationship if canon events transpire and they get together. I agree with the posts I have seen recently about toxic relationships shouldn't be glorified. I escaped a toxic relationship and when I see those stories I scroll away from them and they aren't appealing at all in more ways than one.

hi again anon! first of all, before i respond to this, i want to say thanks for taking the time to type out a thoughtful response :)

to address what you've sent in an (semi) organized format since these are some really good points (also so sorry for the ramble...i have a lot of thoughts on this...)

a lukewarm defense of ellie x abby/enemies to lovers as a whole

straight abby

so to clarify what i was saying in the other post, i'm not disagreeing that abby could be straight/that you have good reason to believe that she's straight in canon. what i was saying in response to this was that if you're totally convinced that abby is straight, then that's great, i'm just not really sold on the idea that portraying her as queer betrays her characterization, since her sexuality + romantic life aren't a focal point of the games. (please note that i'm writing this under the assumption that your point is that writing a queer abby is synonymous to an ooc abby, which i really heavily disagree with. if this is just you saying that your personal characterization of abby is that she's straight and that you can't bring yourself to imagine her in a relationship with another woman, then that's a totally different thing and imo totally valid!)

neil's take

this is my own personal take on fanwork and fanfiction, but i don't really take this as an indicator that the pairing shouldn't be written for. i personally wouldn't want to see ellie x abby in the next part, because to be executed well it would require the bulk of the plot.

when toxic pairings are glorified

first things first, i'm sorry you also had a bad experience! i've had my share of toxic relationships too and i'm glad we're on the same page about glorifying toxic relationships.

however, i don't use my fanfiction to moralize. there's a rather big difference between glorification and depiction, and i think it's my reader's responsibility to know where the line is. there's also, imo, a big difference between fanfiction that has some morally grey elements and flawed characters and fanfiction that's self-insert and makes your love interest an abusive asshole while still maintaining a joking/positive tone.

there's also a significant difference between pairings and self-insert, too. self-insert implies a sort of escapism, and it's sort of fucked up when the escapism being sought out includes toxicity. pairings are different people and don't have that same level of reader relation.

this all makes it sound like i'm going to purposefully write a toxic, shitty, unhealthy ellie x abby fic. which is not the case and leads me to my next point...

why i would write ellie x abby after joel's death: a short treatise on why i disrespect canon for sport

i have a lot to say about this one so i'll split this up into subsections

exhibit a: characterizations are sort of flexible

i say this with a caveat, because sometimes it's so clear when you pick up a piece of fic that a writer has no fucking clue what's going on and doesn't know how to write a character. but some of the best fanfictions i've read have taken a pairing i'd never see coming and would ordinarily disagree with and turned it into something insane, because odd pairings and circumstances that seem otherwise impossible require you to dig into what's left of a character after the most obvious character traits. on the surface, of course ellie would never be compatible with abby. but what about below that? that's something that you can only find out by writing it with your own personal interpretation of the characters.

exhibit b: genuine enemies to lovers is by definition a little iffy at first

real enemies to lovers has really gotten watered down lately, and i think that part of the problem is that so much fic is tagged as enemies to lovers when it's really just surface level tension that's resolved 1k words in (i myself am guilty of this, but i think it's important to point out anyway). it's supposed to feel impossible at first! they shouldn't start out with the characters making eyes at each other and by describing how crazy the sexual tension is in the air from the moment they meet, because that makes the payoff so much less rewarding. which leads me to my next point:

exhibit c: stirring the pot is fun

this is the reason why any fic i write for them would be set at least after joel's death and likely after seattle. if those events hadn't happened, it just wouldn't be a very interesting story. the challenge as the writer is to figure out how to get these two characters who have both immeasurably hurt the other person into a situation where, while still honoring their characteristics, they manage to adapt and see each other in a different light. that's why i like this pairing—not because i was picking up on mad chemistry between them and just want them to bang. from what i know about them, i feel like the potential for genuine character exploration/growth is crazy.

tldr: i see what you're saying! but the reasons you don't like the pairing are actually sort of the same reasons why i personally do...which is kind of an odd impasse to be at lol. anyway thank you so much for sending this in!!

[thecoolerliauditore]

YOU. YOU GET IT,,HLSDHLKSLHKAD

re: the venom video

[animusbell]

speaking as someone who almost never uses tone indicators, i have yet to see a single complaint about tone indicators on this website that actually acknowledges the reason they exist the way they do

[scarlethallow160]

long-winded arcane s2 ramble/arcane in general ramble after act 1 (yes this contains spoilers)

let me preface by saying 1) i went into watching arcane knowing absolutely NOTHING about league of legends, i think i'd barely heard of jinx or seen her before and that was it? and 2) vi is my fav character of the show and honestly one of my fav characters in general and i am Specifically talking about her arcane iteration (im aware there are flaws in how they write/treat her character in arcane cuz they also bug me as well)

ok i LOVE arcane so much like season 1 is Amazing but there have always been like. weird consistency issues in the writing and with how season 2 is going they seem to be even further highlighted

like. again i LOVE vi so much bc i love characters with big hearts and how in spite of all the terrible shit she's been thru still strives to do good and how protective she is and bonus that she's a brawler cuz boy do i love women who can punch ppl out

but. god the whole enforcer thing is SO- it's so fucking infuriating and awful to see. i was so disappointed finding out vi is an enforcer in league cuz like. HOW? how can arcane vi grow up like that, see and experience what she has at the hands of enforcers/piltover....AND STILL FUCKING BECOME ONE OF THEM? and this brings me to one of my main issues albeit an unpopular opinion i know: her relationship with caitlyn

im ngl again i went into the show knowing Nothing about arcane so honestly. didnt rly care for caitlyn and i still rly dont (at least Definitely not to the extent of other characters) like im sorry im not saying shes a Bad character but i saw she was an enforcer i was like boo cop character but then. when her and vi meet etc i was like OH no...... theyre gonna pull the "people from opposite worlds fall in love and vi starts sympathizing/seeing past her being an enforcer/from piltover etc etc" and was absolutely right

im not faulting vi for coming to like caitlyn necessarily like she's the reason vi got out of prison and caitlyn genuinely shows care and concern for vi and her wellbeing. but she knew her for what is clearly a relatively short amount of time and Just Like That is willing to toss all of her beliefs aside and put on the badge for her?????????

i was happy she outright rejects the offer at first but OH my god. when maddie tells her the nice things caitlyn said and vi's like "omg really??" i was like HO YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW???? THATS ALL IT TAKES????????? vi i love you but WHAT THE FUCK

also. also. it made me SO sad and upset how quickly in act1 vi's like "yep powder's gone, time to hunt down and kill jinx" ??????? i get its bc she came to care for caitlyn and sympathizes that her mom was killed in the attack but.....vi, the council never gave a Shit about the undercity who cares about them (besides mel heehee)? at the VERY least this bit could've played out a lot more and show vi very begrudgingly coming to agree to the idea but jfc in the span of ONE episode, vi tosses everything aside bc...caitlyn said some nice things about her?? like vi accepting powder is gone and donning the badge should've been an ep3 thing. or end of ep2 AT THE VERY LEAST

and OMG the fact that she was okay terrorizing the undercity like that? gassing them?? like i get silco fucked shit up and everything got worse after vander died so there were a lot of scumbags but VI HELLO???? why couldnt we have gotten scenes of her like. being visibly upset and put off by what she agreed to do??

and i've seen other people more eloquently put this but this is also one of my big issues with cait//vi. it just...it really does Not make sense and the imbalance between them is so glaringly obvious. like i Hate how quickly vi warms up to her (an enforcer) and in that one scene in s1 is more aggressive to ekko than her and theyre already close to intimate on the bed scene after knowing each other for like a day???? VI GET UP????? i dont fault her for being unwilling to shoot caitlyn at jinx's request tho but jfc vi just way too quickly folds when it comes to caitlyn and i dont know why... like i understand caitlyn is the first person in Years to show vi genuine care in s1 after prison but still

like the writing for vi sometimes is just really. upsetting and questionable. how does she spend YEARS in prison getting beaten up constantly, starved, etc. and just seems perfectly adjusted when she's freed? why dont we get to see any of her trauma? its fitting that shes the type to keep it hidden/bottled away but... idk everyone always talks about jinx's trauma etc but Never vi's and i know it doesnt help that they portray her like everything is Fine like none of that awful shit affected her but vi's had such an awful life too i would like to see that addressed instead of everything always being framed as her fault

she just constantly gets the short end of the stick people dogpile on her for hitting powder (after watching their entire adoptive family die horribly, not saying hitting her was right but ppl for some reason ignore the "saw her brothers' dead bodies and watched her father-figure die" when judging her) and "abandoning her" (she walked away to cool off and then literally got kidnapped and thrown into prison for the next Several years) and ofc now seeming to doubledown on choosing caitlyn over jinx and BECOMING A GD ENFORCER its like the writers really want her to suffer!!!!! because after all that. caitlyn tosses vi aside and shes literally left with nothing lmaoaoao (<- sad laughing) bc she'll never really be welcome in piltover and zaun sure as hell wouldnt welcome her back if they knew she'd been frolicking with the other enforcers gassing them

i know this wont happen but GOD i wish after caitlyn hit her and abandoned her that vi would see the light and reconcile with jinx and join their little gang against piltover.... (i want to see her and sevika team up) like the creators/writers i think have said arcane is the new canon/characters in league arent exempt from dying SO..... if they can change the lore can they like. make it to where vi doesnt actually end up becoming an enforcer ha h ah aha it just really feels like a Huge disservice to her character in arcane.........

also i hate that ppl are like "ha ha vi gets a taste of her own medicine heehee" after caitlyn hits her and leaves in comparison to vi and powder in s1 cuz like.... the overall situations are not at ALL the same lmao? vi saw her whole family die and (wrongfully) lashed out at powder in her grief and anger and got kidnapped after going to cool down, like she was literally trying to run back to her before marcus stupidass grabbed her! caitlyn got mad that vi didnt want to risk a child's life and just straightup ditched her!!! it shows her and the others at the meeting ambessa puts together and doesnt seem bothered about ditching vi! its not the same!!!

act 1 of s2 was very exciting but SO much happens in 3 episodes there wasnt enough time for things to be fleshed out (why did No One react to the hextech weapons freaking out like that)

other things that bugged me:

jinx seems more....."mentally stable" than she did in s1? like just magically isnt hearing voices/seeing shit as much if at all? is it cuz she "fully accepted jinx and let powder die?"

im sorry but sevika should have absolutely folded caitlyn like an omelette in that fight. like in 5 seconds wtf she had her by the throat so many times too like???? babe thats an enforcer and the one that shot u in ur mechanical arm fuckin finish her already 😭

isha and jinx are cute but the kid is just kinda There and im sorry but her blocking jinx and shoving that gun is vi's face was kinda corny LMAOAO

also in s1 ekko was the one that sold jayce the stuff cuz thats how he knew about the place to tell vi and the others but i feel like he would have definitely recognized jayce lol idk a small detail but still

i love sevika i love that shes going to be one of the good guys in s2 but also it feels like she "flipped" way too quickly? granted she was there when jinx was growing up so i dont think her and jinx beginning to bond is a bad or unrealistic thing necessarily but in s1 she was introduced as what would clearly be one of the antagonists and like almost Immediately in s2 its "no shes a good guy now :)"

again why did NO ONE really react to the hextech freaking out like that????

also. im very VERY excited for pit fighter vi but now i hate that it seems like her main reason for crashing out like that is "my cop gf did bad cop things and ditched me when i stopped her" and not like.... "i compromised my morals and beliefs for someone belonging to the group of oppressors directly responsible for the terrible shit in my life thinking she was different but, surprise surprise, was proven wrong and almost readily killed my sister for her and have definitely ruined that relationship for good" but ok

this is getting too long and doesnt completely make sense but idk i love this show but sad to say it is definitely not without its flaws