#i don't mean shit like 'oh ur not making eyecontact oh ur fidgeting' that's ok
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i understand it's an issue of wanting to relate to people and not wanting to be left out but there has got to be a better way of trying to fit in
#we'll figure it out#idk what to do honestly bcs these are v nuanced convos not only in terms of picking things apart w ur brain but also#in terms of trying to guess emotions and insecurities at play#that's my THING bcs as much as i love directness and being straightforward and hate passive aggression and hints and signs#there's a point at which u have to realize that even in ur directness u are communicating nonverbally#that even if u wanna be the most direct person ever ur words and actions are still loaded w meaning#i don't mean shit like 'oh ur not making eyecontact oh ur fidgeting' that's ok#i mean more subtle things that u pick up on only after u get close w someone#call it tells call it whatever but they're THERE#to pick up on shit like nervousness or insecurity or anger and then having to delicately bring it to ppl's attention#in a way that doesn't make them feel antagonized or cornered or judged#me and my long term friendship marital problems
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