#i don't get it what happened to the me that could eat an entire medium pizza alone in one sitting and still be hungry for dinner?

[dubacheryking]

ok if eating is REQUIRED to not die why is it so hard to eat??? why can i never rememeber to eat??? why, even when i remember to eat, does it take so much energy to eat???? such horseshit

[starmergeddon]

To someone who doesn't live in the UK and has only a very basic understanding of the different parties involved, pray could you provide a very brief rub-down of the election situation? Also a side question, where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up? I've been getting a lot of British politics posts on my dash and I was curious. You seem like a reliable fellow to ask :)

Btw you really don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to or if it's too much work. In that case, could you point me in the right direction for some online resources I can refer to? Thank ye very much, cheers!

for context, I recieved this ask the day after the election, and somehow managed to miss it for 3 weeks. oops.

if you don't know how British elections work, here are three youtube videos from Jay Foreman which I recommend: how elections work, how elections don't work, and the bit that isn't elected at all

very long post under the cut...

the british political parties

like the US, the UK is a two-party state. unlike the US, the UK has more than two relevant political parties. here they are, in order of seats won this year:

Labour Party (411 (63.2%) seats, with 33.7% of votes)

won this year's General Election.

led by kid starver, queer harmer Keir Starmer, namesake of this blog.

was the Big Left-Wing Party. has recently become the Big Party which Doesn't Stand for Anything, Really, Except for Winning Elections and Hurting Transgender People, due to Starmer's leadership.

oddly patriotic. wants to establish "Great British Railways" and "Great British Energy". Nobody really knows yet what they mean by this.

former leader Ed Miliband is the man in my pfp, pictured failing to eat a bacon sandwich. Some speculate that this photo was the reason he lost the election in 2015.

Conservative "Tory" Party (121 (18.6%) seats, with 23.7% of votes)

tonight's Big Loser.

led by fishy, dishy Rishi Sunak, but not for long, because they're electing a new leader on Halloween.

was the Big Right-Wing Party. is still the Big Right-Wing Party, but is now also an Embarrassment.

they were in power for 14 years until this election.

Directly responsible for this country's decline over the past... 14 years.

their colour is more of a dark blue, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Liberal Democrat Party (72 (11.1%) seats, with 12.2% of votes)

returned to its rightful place as the Third Party.

led by Sir Ed Davey, who spent the election campaign bungee jumping, playing Jenga, and paddleboarding.

is the Centrist Party that Nobody Really Cares About.

somehow is more left-wing than Labour.

Scottish National Party (SNP) (9 (1.4%) seats, with 2.5% of votes)

tonight's Medium-Sized Loser.

led by John Swinney, who was also their leader like 20 years ago.

unsurprisingly, is the Scottish Independence Party. is also more left-wing than Labour.

their colour is yellow, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Reform UK Ltd. (5 (0.8)% seats, with 14.3% of votes)

Fascist Cunts.

led by Nigel Farage.

not actually a political party, for some reason.

enough said. (for now)

Green Party (4 (0.6%) seats, with 6.7% of votes)

the one I voted for.

co-led by Carla Denyer and Adrian Ramsey.

the Actually Left-Wing Party. Their slogan is "real hope, real change" which sums it up.

Plaid Cymru (4 (0.6%) seats, with 0.7% of votes)

the SNP, but Welsh. (it's pronounced "Plad Cumry")

led by Rhun ap Iorweth. (pronounced "Rune app You're weth")

their colour is dark green, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

None of these parties run for election in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK, but not part of Great Britain. NI is an entirely different situation which I don't know about.

so what actually Happened? Now that the scene is set, I'll go through the events that transpired, from the conservative landslide in 2019 to the conservative demise in 2024.

2019

the Conservatives don't have enough MPs who want to vote for their Brexit plan, so they call a snap general election. in the UK, our elections aren't at regular intervals. ONLY the Prime Minister decides when they happen, within a 5 year limit. this is important later...!

they win a massive landslide victory, with Boris Johnson as their PM. the SNP wins 48 out of 59 seats in Scotland.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn (affectionately known as Jezza) resigns, as does LibDem leader Jo Swinson.

2020

Keir Starmer takes over as Labour leader, and is immediately very boring. Labour gets more unpopular.

Jezza is kicked out of the Labour party, as are many of his supporters, on false allegations of antisemitism.

Boris finally "gets Brexit done" (this was his slogan.) The Tories get more popular. The Brexit Party changes its name to Reform UK, but they're still considered right-wing extremists

COVID happens. Everyone rallies round the flag. The Tories get more popular.

Boris gets COVID and nearly dies.

top conservative politicians hold parties in Downing Street, breaking their own lockdown rules, but shhhh! nobody knows about that yet! these keep happening until April 2021

The NHS begins to collapse a bit more than it already had, due to Conservative underfunding. The Tories get less popular.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announces a program giving people discounts to eat out in restaurants. COVID cases spike. The Tories get less popular.

It's revealed that one of the top Tories, Dominic Cummings, broke lockdown rules by visiting family. The Tories get less popular.

End of year - Tories and Labour tied in the polls.

2021

the Queen's husband dies. She goes to his funeral, socially-distanced, alone. on the same day, more Downing Street parties are held.

not much else happens?? until December, when

people start to find out that the Tories were breaking their own rules by partying in Downing Street. Immediately, the Labour Party gains a 7% lead in the polls.

2022 - shit hits the fan

people are MAD about the lockdown parties. it's named Partygate and the police start to investigate.

Russia invades Ukraine. Boris tries to distract everyone by supporting Zelenskyy.

the police conclude their investigation. Boris Johnson becomes the first Prime Minister to have officially broken the law. as a firm punishment, he is fined.... £50. (so are Rishi Sunak, and lots of others.)

Everything gets expensive. Many people are now choosing between eating and heating their home.

Just after this happens, it's revealed that Johnson also gave promotions to a Tory who he knew had committed sexual assault. His cabinet revolts. He is forced to resign as Conservative Party leader. But because he is Prime Minister, he's the only one who can call an election, and he simply chooses not to! because he knows he'd lose!

The new Prime Minister is chosen not by the people, but by the Conservative Party members. people hate this.

Liz Truss beats Rishi Sunak in the final contest. She becomes Prime Minister.

The Queen dies.

Liz Truss crashes the economy. All hell breaks loose. The Labour Party now have a 25% lead in the polls.

The Daily Star starts a YouTube livestream - will Liz Truss leave office before this lettuce expires?

Liz Truss loses control of her MPs. She, too, is forced to resign, just 40 days after becoming PM! Because she doesn't have to call an election, she doesn't.

The lettuce won.

ONCE AGAIN it is up to the Conservative Party leadership to choose a Prime Minister... except nobody wants to be Prime Minister. Rishi Sunak becomes Prime Minister without being elected by ANYBODY

2023

not much extra happens, for a while. people are just sick and tired of the Tories

They decide it's a good idea to try and deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, because immigration is "too high".

Nicola Sturgeon gets bored of being a politician and resigns as SNP leader. Without a clear successor, the SNP destroys itself finding a new leader.

Nicola Sturgeon is also arrested on suspicion of having funnelled money out of the SNP to herself before she resigned! (she's cleared of suspicion, but the public gain a conception of the SNP being corrupt.)

Shit happens in Gaza. The Tories back Israel. Labour, having shifted massively to the right, also back Israel. People become unhappy with both of them, and still are today.

2024

A general election has to happen this year. The Tories are still 20% behind in the polls.

It's announced that the UK entered a small recession at the end of 2023.

Four asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda. They spent £700,000,000 on this.

Rishi constantly dodges questions about when the general election will be, simply saying it will come "in the second half" of the year. Most people think he means autumn.

He did not mean autumn. He calls an election for 4 July, but forgets to bring an umbrella in the process, and gets rained on.

Nigel Farage immediately takes control of Reform UK. (He's allowed to do that because it's technically a company, and as owner of said company he can do what he wants)

Reform UK surges in popularity, reaching 17% in the polls, just behind the Conservatives at 21%

Rishi leaves a D-day event halfway through to give an interview with a TV broadcaster, in which the multimillionaire claimed his childhood was hard because he didn't have Sky TV.

The Conservatives decide to cure their election woes by sending all 18-year-olds to National Service. (ie. military)

It's also revealed that many top Tories placed bets on the election being held on 4 July.

The Conservative Party loses voters to Labour on their left, and to Reform on their right.

election result analysis

where did it go wrong for the Tories? uh, everywhere.

where did it go right for Labour, though? depends who you ask...

voters decisively rejected the Conservatives, choosing either Reform, Labour, or LibDem instead.

however, they weren't enthusiastic about Labour instead. many Labour wins came about as a result of Reform splitting the right-wing vote in half.

polling suggests most people who voted Labour did so to remove the Tories from power.

Fewer people voted for Labour this year than in 2019, but they doubled their seats in Parliament. Our voting system is fucked.

The Green Party quadrupled its seat share. They have won in every seat they have targeted.

Five leftist independent MPs beat Labour in what were "safe" constituencies. One of them was Jeremy Corbyn!! What this shows is that people don't really like Labour, or that people really don't like Labour. They want something better.

The SNP is nearly wiped out in Scotland, despite getting 30% of the Scottish vote. Labour wins most seats in Scotland with 35% of the Scottish vote.

The "Party of Women" (which is literally just TERFs) got fewer votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party. Lmao.

19 people voted for Elmo in Keir Starmer's constituency.

More people voted for the Conservatives and Reform UK combined than they did for Labour. If Labour doesn't get its shit together, we could be in trouble.

what's happened since the election?

7 Labour MPs have already been kicked out of the party for voting to adopt measures to lift 1.6 million children out of poverty

pressure from Greens and independents led to Labour accepting the ICC's arrest warrant for Netanyahu and stopping some arms sales to Israel's genocide.

what happens next?

the Tories choose a new leader on Halloween. other than that? fuck knows lmao. what the 2019-2024 parliament tells us is that anything can happen. as mentioned before, we don't even know when the next election is.

where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up?

you tell me

i also realise just now, after typing all that out, that you asked for a "very brief rub-down" of what happened............. yeah my bad

[therealmak]

INTRODUCTION

🖤𝑬𝑼𝑵𝑶𝑰𝑨🖤

"No one needs love as much as the ones who have nothing but only love to give."

"Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war."

Emma Chamberlain as Chloe Noelle Monnier

"The Sweet Mama-To-Be🤰"

"In less than a year I had a beautiful baby and found epic love. I'm pretty sure I won the freaking lottery."

"What bothers me is that he was my husband and yet every day I had panic attacks, stomach aches, heart palpitations. I mean I went and got an EKG for my heart because I was stressed. My body was rejecting my marriage and I just never listened to it. The second it was over it all stopped."

"I mainly go to clubs because my friends and loves feed me. I also like to dance too, but food."

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Cole "Colby" Robert Brock

"The Protective One"

"I trust you with parts of myself I'm afraid to show to anyone else."

"Just let me protect you, take care of you, and hold you."

"We signed up for you, Chloe. We've done this shit completely backward from the beginning. We moved in with you before we started dating about two weeks ago. I don't care that you're pregnant with a baby that isn't mine, we want to be with you. Plus backward seems to be our thing, but Malia and I want to be here and want to be here with you and the baby."

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Malia Gee

"The Caring One"

"God you're so special. You're so fucking cute. Everything you say is so adorable."

"You do have a place, love. You have a place with me, Colby, the baby, and the rest of our chosen family. You are never alone in this."

"You can't let anything happen to her on the trip, Colby. It's scary enough when you go, and now Chloe is going with you."

———————————————————

✨𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑵 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀✨

"There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family."

"My circle is small but the love is enormous + genuine. It gets no better."

Samuel "Sam" John Golbach

"The Soul Brother"

"There is not a man or woman, no matter how fit he or she may be, who is capable of carrying the entire world on their shoulders. Not even you, Coco. Let us carry the weight together."

"I want you to be every bit of yourself. So if that's being super kind, loving, and chaotic then so be it."

"Chlo we brought tons of snacks and drinks, so, at any point in the investigations, you could snack if you need to."

💛💛💛💛

Katrina Stuart

"The Soul Sister"

"What baby and Chloe want, baby and Chloe get. So Sam just go get the fucking breadsticks for Coco!"

"Don't eat that it's super spicy. Omg Chlo, spit it out, spit it out!"

"Chloe, Colby just doesn't want you to worry like this. Ironically, you're worrying for him and he's worried for you."

💛💛💛💛

Anastasia "Stas" Siver

"The Future Sister-in-Law"

"Send me the measurements and I will find your maternity clothes."

"Aunt Stas is going to make sure baby wears the cutest things ever!"

"The upside to me dating your brother is that we might be sisters-in-law someday!"

💛💛💛💛

Nate Hardy

"Ride or Die"

"That baby is going to be spoiled rotten by Uncle Nate. You best believe that."

"You can't just disappear like that Bubba, Colby would kill me if you weren't next to me."

"I can't tell if Chloe is laughing or crying right now, I actually think it's both."

💛💛💛💛

Amanda Raye

"The Friendly Medium"

"You're like my sister, where you go, I go."

"If you think I'm going to let you hurt Chloe, you're out of your mind. You cannot touch her, you cannot hurt her, and you may not follow her."

"Oh, Chloe everybody sees the way you look at them."

💛💛💛💛

Kristina "Kris" Lee Halliwell Collins & Celina Myers

"The Partners in Crime"

"At the end of this pregnancy, Chloe is going to have a dead mouth and a beautiful baby."

"Auntie Kris and Auntie Celina are going to teach you how to be crazy like us."

"We have to stop before we make Coco pee herself."

💛💛💛💛

Tara Yummy & Jake Webber

"The Cool Aunt & Uncle"

"That punch was for Chloe, how dare you disrespect her like that."

"It"s Tara Yummy and I'm here with one of my favorite people in the world... Chloe Monnier!"

"So me and Chloe are officially going to start documenting our McDonald's runs. I think we'll call it Jake and Coco late-night adventures." 

——————————————————— 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀

"Family is more than blood, it is heart, it is the courage to be present in people's lives and to bear other people's burden."

Marion Cotillard as Isabelle Monnier

"💞Mama Bear🐻"

"Chloe, accepting help from others is hard, but what you made for yourself here is family. So your papa and I are moving to be closer to this family."

"I'm sorry sweetheart but I knew that Luca was no good for mon bébé."

"We tried our best to raise you both with an open heart and open mind. I'd say that me and Papa did a wonderful job."

💞💞💞💞

Vincent Cassel as Jean-Pierre Monnier

"💞Papa Bear🐻"

"That girl is too much like her mother sometimes, mon dieu."

"I like this Colby and Malia. In general, chéri, you've made wonderful friends yourself. It's a beautiful family."

"Mon petit-enfant, my gosh she looks just like you when you were a baby, Coco." 

💞💞💞💞

Timothée Chalamet as Gabriel Monnier

"💞Older Big Brother🙄"

"If I see him I'll hit him, as much as we fight you're my little sister." 

"I like Stas, like a lot. Coco, it would mean a lot if I could ask her out. Pretty please?" "Someday, I'm going to put a ring on Stas' finger and we'll fight whether you're my best woman or her maid of honor."

💞💞💞💞

Mae McKagan as Amèlie Monnier

"💞The Twin Sister🫀"

"Through every challenge, I stand firm, knowing my family needs me."

"Love is the legacy I want to pass down to Chloe's baby."

"Family isn't an important thing. It's everything."

———————————————————

Michele Morrone as Luca Silva

"The Ex-Husband"

"The world revolves around those who know how to spin it." 

"Chloe, people like me don't settle for anything less than perfection, including you." 

"In the grand scheme of things, Chloe, it's all about winning. And I've never been comfortable losing."

I DO NOT own any pictures or gifs they belong to their rightful owners. The pictures of clothes belong to SHEIN, CIDER, and ROMWE, not myself.

OTHER WARNINGS⚠️ -SAM AND KATRINA ARE TOGETHER IN THIS STORY (because I miss them and am still in denial. -CUSSING -SEXUAL CONTENT? -POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP (if you don't like it leave) -SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

[galraluver]

Alfor x reader? I hope I'm doing this right, scenario where alfor is introduced to earth cats by the reader? Which may lead you to a kitty adoption :>?

Hey, don't worry about it, I've got you covered 😊

Honestly, out of all the original paladins I see Alfor as the type of person who would love hanging out at a cat café and spend the entire visit surrounded by most, if not all of the kitties 😽

(Whether Cheeto and Blinky are two boys, two girls or one of each is left to the imagination of you, my dear readers)

_________________________________________

Alfor loved living on Earth with (Y/n), and even though he would eventually take her home to Altea with him, he wanted to spend as much time with her on her homeworld until then. There were so many interesting things to do and see on Earth, and (Y/n) was always happy to take him out to do and see those things. Before Alfor went out in public he had to disguise himself as a human since aliens weren't welcome on Earth, even if they meant no harm, and he didn't want to start a mass panic or get his girlfriend in trouble. There was one thing (Y/n) really wanted to take Alfor out to do, but first she needed to save up enough money before she could do it; there was a cat café in their area and she wanted to take him there since she knew he liked cats, then once she had enough money she brought it up with him one evening during dinner. Alfor kind of knew what Earth cats were, although he'd never spent time with one before and he couldn't wait to go to the cat café with his girlfriend.

The best part was that the cat café (Y/n) was taking Alfor to was it was partnered up with a few animal shelters and adopted cats out to new homes, so if there was a cat they really liked then they would adopt him or her. On the day of their trip they would be going to eat lunch together at the café; Alfor was excited to see the cats, he really hoped that he and (Y/n) would be able to adopt one or two and bring them home with them. After arriving at their destination (Y/n) and Alfor signed in, ordered some food and drinks and selected a table to sit at. There were about fifteen cats lounging around, most of which stared at them when they sat down. Alfor noticed how the cats in the café looked somewhat similar to the cats on Altea, but at the same time they were different; none of them had bold blue, red, purple or orange markings on their coats, although a short-haired calico caught his attention.

“Well, what do you think?” (Y/n) quietly asked Alfor with curiosity, noticing how he was looking at a medium sized calico cat with short fur.

“I wasn't expecting to see so many cats in one place. That cat over there; the black, white and tan one, is very unique.” Alfor answered, looking at (Y/n) again before he told her that he liked the calico cat who sat on a cat bed nearby.

“Yeah, that one's pretty cute.” (Y/n) acknowledged, smiling when she got a better look at the calico cat her boyfriend had his eyes on.

Alfor wondered what would happen if he called the cats over, so that's exactly what he did; (Y/n) was surprised that the whole ‘here kitty kitty’ call was universal, and worked on every cat from pretty much all over the universe. Almost all of the cats perked up and came running when Alfor called them over, including the calico who jumped up onto his lap prior to meowing sweetly. (Y/n) was in awe when the cats flocked around her boyfriend after he called them to him, each of them wanting attention from him. Two of the cats went to sniff (Y/n) when she offered her hands-on them, one black and the other a tuxedo, but then the black cat joined the others over by Alfor. If it were anyone else they would have been jealous of all the attention Alfor received from the cats, but (Y/n) was even more in love with her significant other than before because he was a cat magnet.

“They're all so soft and affectionate, and I believe this multi-colored one likes me. You said that we can take one or two home-” Alfor said while he pet as many cats as he could, hesitantly bringing up their earlier conversation about adopting a cat or two; he didn't want to seem too demanding, although he really liked the calico cat and the tuxedo cat appeared to like (Y/n).

“I did say that, but we can only adopt two. I really like this tuxedo cat, and the calico loves you.” (Y/n) replied thoughtfully; she wasn't expecting to find two cats that they liked so easily, although with her boyfriend being a total cat magnet finding the two kitties that liked them had been simple.

“So we can bring them home with us?” Alfor queried enthusiastically.

“As long as no one else has signed any paperwork for them, then yes.” (Y/n) answered; she really hoped that the calico and the tuxedo cats weren't spoken for, because it would break her and Alfor's hearts if they were.

“Thank you, darling. I can't wait to bring them home with us.” Alfor expressed gleefully, excited to possibly bring the two cats home with them.

Alfor pet the calico cat on his lap and smiled, but at some point he reached for his strawberry shake so he could drink it. The cats with the longer fur were really soft and fluffy, although as much as he liked them as individuals he understood that keeping them thoroughly groomed would be difficult due to their fur length. The other cats eventually walked away to either do their own thing or visit the other people at the other tables; however, the tuxedo cat stayed on (Y/n's) lap and the calico remained with Alfor, both cats having chosen their favorite people. The food and drinks were delicious and there were various cat toys spread throughout the entire café, Alfor couldn't help but grab one of the feather wands so he could play with some of the cats in between eating and drinking. He could hardly wait to bring the two cats home with him and (Y/n), he hoped they would like their new home.

(Y/n) finished eating before she grabbed another toy and played with one of the cats who passed by her, causing the adorable white cat to roll onto her back playfully. Playing with some of the cats was a lot of fun, she was glad that she brought Alfor to the cat café. After she and Alfor finished eating, drinking and playing with the other cats they went to the office to see if they could adopt the calico and tuxedo cats; they were both perfectly adoptable and their names were Cheeto and Blinky, once (Y/n) paid the two adoption fees the lady at the desk finalized everything and provided two carriers for the two cats who had chosen them. (Y/n) wasn't expecting to adopt two cats that day; she and Alfor didn't even have the proper supplies, so they had to stop by the nearest pet store to pick up some basic supplies. Cheeto and Blinky would need some time before they adjusted to their new home, but until then their safe space would be Alfor and (Y/n's) bedroom.

__________

(Y/n) smiled in her sleep when she felt an arm wrapped around her midsection; at some point during the morning Alfor always snuggled up to her, even though he was usually asleep when he did it. Life was absolute bliss with him and things got even better after they adopted Blinky and Cheeto. After they paid the adoption fees they had to go pick up some basic supplies at the nearest pet store; toys, a scratching post, a litter box, food and other such things, then (Y/n) and Alfor picked up any small objects before they let their two new kitties out of their carriers once they had everything set up. A week had passed since then and even though the two cats weren't fully adjusted to their new home yet, they weren't quite as frightened of being somewhere new. When (Y/n) woke up she looked at the foot of the bed after she noticed a slight weight near her feet, smiling when she saw Cheeto and Blinky curled up and fast asleep.

“Alfor, wake up. Look who's sleeping near our feet.” (Y/n) whispered to her sleeping boyfriend, slowly sitting up a little prior to gently shaking his right shoulder; she glanced at the clock and saw that it was eight o’ five, just in time for them to wake up.

Alfor had been sleeping peacefully, although after he heard what (Y/n) whispered to him he began to wake up. Ever since they brought Cheeto and Blinky home, they slept in their cat beds that were on the floor near the dresser. After opening his eyes and letting out a yawn, Alfor sat up, blinked a couple of times and looked at the foot of their bed; he smiled softly when he saw Cheeto and Blinky curled up between their feet, both cats still fast asleep.

“They appear quite comfortable this morning. I never thought they would ever come to sleep in bed with us.” Alfor spoke quietly so that he wouldn't accidentally wake their cats up.

“I know; it really feels like we're a family now.” (Y/n) replied with an equally quiet tone, turning to face her boyfriend.

Alfor couldn't have agreed more; they were becoming a little family, and he could hardly wait to make it official when he and (Y/n) eventually got married. He slowly leaned towards his lover and gave her a good morning kiss; neither of them cared that they had morning breath, plus their kiss didn't last for very long. (Y/n) and Alfor decided to cuddle in bed together for a while, then they would eventually get out of bed and prepare breakfast for them and their cats. They made sure Blinky and Cheeto were spoiled; after the lives the two cats had before they were rescued, they deserved to be spoiled and loved. Having two adorable cats living with them made Alfor and (Y/n's) lives a lot more interesting, (Y/n) was glad that she'd taken her significant other to the cat café when she did.

[endangered-aquarium-fish]

Gimme ur opinions

theres an ongoing debate about captive bred vs wild caught fish in the hobby and both sides have valid points but personally i always try to get captive bred. but i wanna know what yall think bc i was reading abt cardinal tetras earlier and it made me question that a bit

basically captive bred fish are better adapted in almost every way to aquarium life, generally less likely to carry diseases/parasites, more resistant to sudden changes in water quality like ammonia spikes or pH crashes, tend to be more colorful, aren't a drain on wild populations, and the entire process of how they get to your tank is much more ethical and better for the fish. but they can sometimes be very inbred and all carry the same few v dangerous parasites and diseases if you get them from big factory farms (like guppies and neon tetras which have suddenly gone from super duper hardy to rlly sensitive in the last few years) so you have to be careful where they come from but as long as you are theyre generally better

Wild caught fish are more likely to carry parasites and diseases than most captive bred ones, they're a lot less adaptable to fluctuating water parameters, they may not know how to eat prepared foods, they can sometimes be a drain on wild populations (some species have become critically endangered from overcollection while others seem unaffected by it even when it happens on a massive scale so it depends on the species), and the most important part to me is that the whole process of getting them out of their natural habitat and shipping them across the planet is extremely dangerous and cruel to the fish.

But its more complicated than that- some fish like otocinclus come from pools that dry up seasonally and leave millions of fish to die. So even if the shipping process is horribly stressful and most of them don't survive, they would've suffocated in the forest anyway and those few that do live get much happier longer lives than they would've had. Also, some fish (especially cardinal tetras) are HUGE for local economies. Which normally I'd be like shush that is no excuse at all BUT we live under capitalism and its one of the only sustainable ways for those communities to find a livelihood. So it provides an incentive for them to protect the ecosystem bc without a stable population of these fish they would have no other source of income except for things like logging and poaching endangered species which are far more destructive to the ecosystem than catching the most common tiny fish. so those are the two situations where wild caught starts to seem like potentially a valid and good way to get fish

There's also the issue of the experiences of the fish- like i would imagine a fish that grew up in wide open rivers where it could swim for miles is a lot less happy in captivity than one that's descended from several generations that lived their whole lives in aquariums. ofc thats less true for some than others, like for example apistogramma pairs tend to set up territories in the wild thatre about the size of a medium aquarium and they never leave so im sure they prefer the tank where they get taken care of over living in the same amount of space in the wild but with predators and limited food. but for fish that move around a lot i have a feeling it matters to them

so yeah whatre yalls thoughts about this which one do you generally prefer and are there more nuances that im missing

[homicidal-slvt]

"Strangers Are Especially Strange Here"

-

Part 2

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OCs x F!Reader

-

You are a young woman who also happens to be a witch- ending up with you in a college of mythical beings... {This story is gonna be silly chaos and will be aimed at my fellow bisexuals.}

-

Warnings: None- just silliness.

-

You unintentionally discovered you aren't entirely human a bit late in life, which resulted in where you're at now. Learning how to control your abilities should be fun though, right?

Right???

You've so far spent the whole day running around getting lectures on what you shouldn't do as a witch. Yes, it's very very important that you learn that stuff- blah blah.

But it's boringgggg... And you have every right to be complaining in your head, waddling down the hall books in hand like a depressed penguin.

At least the long corridors of the old building are beautiful, an intricate lacy gold pattern that imitates the look of vines lines the wallpaper, the floor beneath your feet a shiny black marble with gold streaks through it- feeling as though the place has a strong energy and power of it's own.

Though without warning you are harshly dragged from your thoughts to the sudden appearance of a young guy's head popping out of the wall...

"Sup!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

You let out quite the shriek but miraculously don't fall or drop your books. The dude has thick fluffy medium length creamy blonde hair that is wavy in a very unruly way, his eyes are more rounded in shape and the picture perfect example of the color baby blue, his skin tone closest to that of pale ivory and you could describe his face shape as being more heart shaped. He quickly came fully out of the wall and stood in front of you, he's probably somewhere around 5'11 in height, from what you can tell his body type falls more into the category of 'inverted triangle'. He's wearing an extremely baggy but comfy looking ice blue sweater, a pair of simple jeans and some scuffed up white tennis shoes. Despite the fact the guy just scared you shitless- he still has a bright smile on his face.

"Oops. You must be new here."

Oops??? Not an apology??? Just- oops???

You do not have time to deal with this, you're already tired and bored and annoyed- so you just make your way around him and keep walking. The guy pauses for a second before calling out to you.

"Hey- wait! Sorry! I really didn't mean to scare you!"

Too little too late- you rounded the corner and kept on going.

-

You know- you failed to realize just how big this place is. The separate building that you get to stay in is huge, you have your own bedroom in it. Granted- there's set times for breakfast, lunch, dinner... Yeah, not like a normal college at all. You have decently cooked food and you just have to show up to eat it.

However of course- you still had to pay to be here. Well, more like your aunt paid for you to be here- you didn't even know you had an aunt for a long ass time... You know what- that's not important right now.

You open your laptop and start typing away, you do have normal assignments to get done on top of the extra classes to do with your powers.

Pros and cons...

You're also surrounded by so many different kinds of people, you swore you saw a guy with cat ears earlier.... However he didn't stick around very long and seemed to want nothing to do with any of the socializing happening around him.

Totally understandable.

This place is giving a whole new meaning to the word 'strangers' but hey- that isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it?

-

{Is this bad? I don't know. It's October and I had a silly idea for a series and decided- fuck it. You only live once.}

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{@sofasoap @shadofireshinobi @scar-crossedlvrs sorry if you guys don't wanna be tagged. Just let me know.}

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{More Content}

[twosides--samecoin]

also, unsure if you ever read pokemon fic, but if you appreciate music informing the reader of a character's personality and diegetic music, you may enjoy "make you suffer" by girllikesubstance on ao3. i certainly did! it's written like an action movie but with solid characterization; i literally cannot recommend the author's work enough.

Oh, I have not, thank you for the recommendation!

"Diegetic music", for anyone who's never heard of it, refers to any in-universe music or lyric that is interacted with or acknowledged by the characters. The musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is entirely diegetic music, performed by the characters; however the intro theme of that show is not.

I consider music a main character in the fic. It started with choosing song titles for chapters and the fic title, then it snowballed into, "How do I indicate to the reader Music Is Happening in a natural way that doesn't always need me introducing, like, 'a guitar rang out/a solemn voice sang', etc?" How do you solve the characters hearing what the reader can only, well, read? Sure, I have some playlists on Spotify to follow along, but as Marshall McLuhan said, "the medium is the message". It must be clear in the writing that music is playing. A new voice has entered the room.

One of my favourite novels is Ulysses by James Joyce. He had a masterful talent for cacophony and onomatopoeia. Several threads of conversations and voices and thoughts all happening at you on one page. And he just goes for it.

I chose to solve the problem by having my own style guide. Lyrics just happen as though they're a person speaking, they're just italicized to indicate it's a recording. Here's an excerpt of one of the most successful examples of diegetic music I have written in the fic, from the chapter Thunder Road.

The radio DJ’s voice interrupted the silence. “Hi, it’s Delia, we got the weather monitor fixed. It’s only a few degrees below freezing tonight and I’m not in a sour mood anymore, so.. Here’s a favorite, for my favorite. Here’s Thunder Road.”  Olivia’s eyes widened as harmonica and piano played together. She turned towards the radio. “Are you serious right now?”  “What?” RJ asked.  "..The screen door slams, Mary's dress sways. Like a vision, she dances across the porch as the radio plays.." Jack smiled. He knew what this song was about and wondered just how well she knew it. He caught Olivia’s eye as she turned away from the radio. RJ saw Jack’s shit-eating grin and knew it meant he figured something out with her. A smile that could mean he was having fun, or he could checkmate you.  The same glance Olivia and Jack shared about him earlier. "..Roy Orbison singing for the lonely, 'Hey that's me and I want you only,' Don't turn me home again, I just can't face myself alone again.." “I- what, why are you looking at me like that-”  “Good song, huh?” he responded, smiling at her. "..Don't run back inside, darling, you know just what I'm here for.." RJ didn’t quite understand what Jack was getting at. The radio was low enough that he could hear the music, but the lyrics were harder to hear from across the room.  “Bruce fan?” Jack asked her. “Yeah, um.. I like him.” Jack’s heart melted. “My wife, Nora, was a huge fan. We have the first seven albums on one holotape,”  “Wait, no way-”  "..So you're scared, and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore.." “Yeah, way. How many Bruce albums you got in this vault, huh?”  “I don’t,” Olivia told him, looking almost apologetic. “I only get to hear Bruce when he’s on the radio.” 

[breezypunk]

2 and 25 for the soft prompts 🖤

Thank you! <3 (I will write #2 here, and #25 in a separate post, so it doesn't get too long)! :)

soft otp prompts here

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

2. Write about your ship helping each other to prepare a special meal.

Goro watched on day by day as Vaughn butchered every meal he ever tried making for them both, and day by day Goro would eat it with absolute pleasure, always admiring how hard Vaughn tried, knowing how picky Goro was with almost every food Night City had to offer, but he always made the exception when it came to his partner. Somehow with Vaughn being the worst cook ever, he managed to make his meals bearable.

It was the most endearing thing he'd ever seen, Vaughn wanting to make something good for his love every night, knowing just how hard it was to find something worth eating, it made it easier to eat anything Vaughn made, and he was happy with it no matter what.

The weekend had hit, and Vaughn's birthday had approached, and Goro thought it was a perfect opportunity to step into the kitchen, and help Vaughn prepare one of his favorite meals, spicy ramen. As basic as it sounded, it was Vaughn's absolute favorite, the spicier the better, and Goro was the expert on spice.

"I would prefer if you let me do it entirely, V.. but if you must, we can do it together." Goro spoke as he grabbed a medium sized pot before putting it on the stove and filling it halfway with water. He turned the stove on before stepping back over to Vaughn, who was already chopping some of the green onion.

"Oh, V.."

"What?" Vaughn smirked, he halted on chopping and looked over at his lover, who was dumbfounded. "Shapes are fun."

"I forgot you were still in elementary school." Goro slowly walked behind Vaughn, and reached an arm around Vaughn's side, his hand placed directly over his.

"Don't you know what happens when you do stuff like that?" Vaughn breathed out, just above a whisper. Goro leaned up towards his ear.

"Don't you know you could lose a finger with those chopping skills..?"

Vaughn rolled his eyes, but lovingly, as he allowed Goro to continue guiding him. He enjoyed these little moments of intimacy, doing things they both enjoyed even though one sucked terribly at it. But it was moments like these that brought them closer together.

The water was starting to boil just a little, but before throwing the noodles in, they got together the rest of the ingredients, adding them to the saucepan Goro had placed just a moment before, little by little, taking their time to make sure everything was right. Goro was still helping Vaughn learn how to chop the correct way, but it was still funny to see the way Vaughn could make actual shapes, even making a tiny heart out of one of the garlic cloves.

"You are a Casanova, V." Goro winked before adding the last of the ingredients to the saucepan. Now it was time for the sauce, Vaughn's favorite part.

Goro allowed Vaughn to take over much of this part, he loved spice, the spicier the better, and even though Vaughn could barely handle the heat, he loved it. The sizzling of the sauces and the dry ingredients coming together, and the smell looming around the kitchen made both Vaughn and Goro's mouth water. It was definitely the best birthday dinner Vaughn could ever ask for.

He turned around to grab the honey, ready to add in a generous amount, when he noticed Goro gripping the bottle. he snapped the lid open and squeezed a small amount of the honey into his index finger and slid over the Vaughn swiftly.

"Open." Goro stared at Vaughn intently, waiting for Vaughn to make the next move, and Vaughn wasted no time.

Vaughn very slowly gripped Goro's wrist, and brought his finger to his mouth before taking it all in, sucking leisurely as his eyes locked onto Goro's. He barely felt Goro's other hand clutching tightly onto his shirt. They both stood there wondering now what they had just gotten themselves into, but he continued excitedly.

Vaughn twirled his tongue around the entirety of Goro's finger, the softest hum you could hear escaped Vaughn as he reluctantly released Goro's finger with a gentle pop. They both stood there in silence for a moment, wondering who'd be the first to speak up. They both were breathing a little more heavy than they were two minutes prior. Goro couldn't take it anymore.

"I think.. maybe we should take this-"

Before he could finish, they both heard loud sizzling, forgetting that the water from the bigger pot was boiling, the water was starting to pour over onto the stove.

"Shit!" They both yelled out in tandem. They hurried to turn the stove off. It was starting to smell a little burnt from the items in the saucepan, and the water being spilled into the stove caused quite a mess neither wanted to clean up. As disappointing as it was that dinner was partially ruined, Vaughn had a better idea instead.

"Dessert?" He cocked his head over to Goro, who took a moment to understand.

"Dessert sounds very good right now V.."

Vaughn grabbed Goro's hand, making sure everything was shut off in the kitchen before hurrying up the stairs. Dessert was much better than dinner anyway, and it was Vaughn's birthday after all.

[myrthing]

Last night I realised I've now been Officially Autistic™️ for half my life, which is my entire adult life.* I was diagnosed late! I'm smart so there was never a concern in school before I literally burned out in high school, and my... behavioural issues... weren't something my family assumed to be atypical or anything other than me being a terrible, evil child.

Talking about this is always loaded, because of the fact that I am talking about it on my own, in my own words. Obviously I'm not that autistic, so does the diagnosis even matter*? I was a terrible, unpleasant child, so should I be allowed to think of myself as a victim of a system that rewards smart, publicly well-behaved girls (most of my behavioural issues were at home)?

But a tiny bit of me likes to imagine the what if of having been diagnosed earlier. It would maybe have saved everyone a lot of pain, if there was any investigation into why I acted like I did, before I was seventeen. Maybe I could have learnt actual emotional regulation, instead of the thing I do where I push all my emotions down because I learnt they didn't matter and weren't valid.

Also, while I'm imagining an alternate timeline where everything is rainbows and fluffy clouds, I wouldn't be depressed, I could still eat wheat, I never fought with my sister ever again, I finished high school at the top of my class and I went on to get a PhD in history and became a bestselling author at age 25. And I got a pony.

*Full disclosure, my official diagnosis is Aspergers Syndrome. I stopped using that name several years ago, partially because I don't want to be associated with a fucking Nazi, thanks; and partly as a reaction to a lot of my classmates in Asperger school** using the diagnosis as a justification for looking down on people (mostly allistic people, but really anyone who did not have specifically an AS diagnosis). I happened to really dislike those classmates especially, but I do and did also find that kind of superiority insufferable. Distancing yourself from people who are more disabled because you happen to have the "socially acceptable" version of a disorder never sat right with me.

**Uh. Short version: think community college with dorms, with a AS program aimed at teaching basic life skills while also earning the equivalent of a GED, with accommodation for our diagnosis. We were split roughly 2:1 towards low need versus medium need. I loved it there. Not sure I was helped by it, except unintentionally.

[cartoonbrat16]

The elemental:chapter 3

Max sighed as he stood outside a convenience store using his arm. After the Kraken incident and the fight, Jen had gone mute toward her grandpa and cousin. She never spoke to them or gave any signs of acknowledgment toward them. Max did a lot to try and fix it he offered to buy Jen new clothes, toys, and games, offered to let her pick dinner, and took them to an amusement park. Nothing was working but he was taking them to see his sister and maybe she could help.

Anyway, inside the store the girls were getting ice cream to help cool off. Gwen got some low-sugar junk and Jen pointed to a simple strawberry and vanilla swirl. The clerk looked at her with concern "are you ok sweetie?" she asked and Gwen answered. "yeah she is just being a brat is all." Gwen said then took her ice cream.

Jen walked out and Jen patiently waited for hers and the clerk still looked concerned. She changed Jen's small cone to a large cup and gave her a medium tub of ice cream to take. "it's on the house sweetie and don't let her get to you everyone has bad days." the clerk said and Jen nodded with a smile. The clerk smiled back then Max walked in to get Jen so they could get going.

~~~~~~~~~

At Vera's retirement home Max and Gwen were thrilled to see the woman. "oh, it is so good to see you two, and where is Jen?" Vera looked around and saw the brunette looking rather down. Vera gasped and cupped Jen's face "Jen, what's wrong sweetie?" she asked and Jen shook her head. Vera frowned and wrapped an arm around Jen and as they walked inside she looked at Max with a look that said 'you need to explain.'

Later at dinner, they were enjoying Jello with brown and white chunks in it. Jen however wasn't eating and Vera turned on extreme aunt mode. "Gwen, Max Can you two handle clean up?" she asked the two nodded and Vera smiled then took Jen.

Vera entered her bedroom with Jen and they sat on the bed. "Jen, what is wrong dear?" Vera asked and Jen looked at her with tears welling in her eyes. Vera was quick to pull Jen into a hug and started stroking her hair. "what is it dear? You know you can tell me anything." Jen broke down but didn't tell her aunt. "I'm-I'm not ready to talk about it." Jen sobbed and Vera nodded.

Outside Vera's door stood Max with a pained look on his face. He hated seeing Jen hurt but he didn't know what to do. "A nap will do you good," Vera said then exited her room and looked Max in the eyes. "Max, what happened to my sweet girl?" Vera asked with a hard stare at her brother.

Max and vera sat on the couch with tea and Max was about to explain when Gwen broke into the room. "Grandpa, something is not right at this place," Gwen said and started to explain some strange events she witnessed.

~~~~~~~~~

Jen stretched as she sat up with a yawn and rubbed her eyes. "crap, I fell asleep with them in." Jen muttered and removed her contacts. The door creaked and Jen looked up to see her aunt peeking into the room. "how do you feel dear?" she asked and Jen smiled "better."

Later the two sat on the couch drinking tea and talking. "so, how was school this year?" Vera asked and Jen frowned "I've had better years." she said taking a sip of her tea. Vera frowned "oh, what is it dear?" Vera asked and Jen started talking about her bullies, the stress and pressure from her parents, and many other things.

Vera frowned and pulled Jen close tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Jen smiled and closed her eyes leaning into her aunt. "aunt Vera can you tell me a story?" Jen asked and Vera chuckled "of course dear." she said and started to tell Jen an old fairy tale.

~~~~~~~~~

Jen sighed as she watched the retirement complex disappear into the distance. "was aunt Vera one of those things?" Jen asked looking at Gwen. Gwen looked at Jen surprised "umm, not the entire time but at one point they got her." Gwen said and Jen nodded.

Max smiled as he heard Jen talking to Gwen. "I guess some time with Vera helped," Max said as he carried on driving to their next stop.

[iv3lostcontrolofmylif3]

I reblogged this so that I could add to it when I had a moment to sit down and add to it.

Everything said above is absolutely true, but I'd like to bring another fact to light that others have said before, but I still feels like needs to be said more often.

Even if you can't make art 'for a living' you are still an artist. Even if you never get that industry job you were told you'd get if you only had a college degree, if you live and breathe your chosen medium and devote every waking moment to it, if you only sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice. That isn't living. And very rarely does it ever work out the way it's intended. More often it ends up being burn out, or bitterness, or giving up entirely.

I graduated from a 'Name' art college in 2016. For the following 5 years, I felt this anxious pit in my stomach every time I got another year older, and constantly felt that self inflicted push to get an industry job, or get popular online so i could stream or sell commissions.

When I finally DID get an industry job, I was working remotely for a small animation company in another country that had an amazing team of wonderful, talented people behind it. We worked on a show produced by a much larger company (no I will not divulge which one or which show. but your first guess is probably right.) I loved every moment of it, even with the sleep deprivation, the aching back and carpal tunnel. I had camaraderie though, and I could finally breathe. I got to sit back and for the first time think 'I'm not a failure.'

At the end of the project when my contract was used up, I watched the show proudly.

Our company wasn't even mentioned in the credits.

This wasn't the first time I was disillusioned by the industry, but it still hurt. I hurt for myself and for the rest of the team, because we were all still SO PROUD of the work we did. But we didn't get to see our names scroll by on the credits. No one really gets to know just how many people it took to make it happen. Even if they couldn't afford to list every name, they could have *at least* mentioned the company.

Now, two years later, I've had a perspective shift of sorts.

I still love art, I still love animation. And yeah, when I can I still try for different positions if it's remote work. But I no longer shame myself for not wanting to move clear across the country on the slim chance of getting an in house job in the industry, uprooting my life and being separated from loved ones. I don't put myself down constantly just because I work a 9 to 5 so I can try to live as comfortably as I can in an economy constantly trying to eat the middle class and under. And even if certain projects consume me if I feel the pull enough, I don't deprive myself of other creative outlets. On top of drawing and animating I write goofy ass fanfiction and read and fall asleep on the couch listening to game grumps compilations.

And yeah, I show my work at conventions and craft fairs, so I don't feel like I'm constantly creating and pushing it out into the void hoping something sticks. Even when people don't buy anything, theres something so Buoying about getting a simple compliment, or appreciation for the things I draw. Is it what I pictured when I went to school? Of course not, but when does that ever really happen? to anybody? But If I'm not content, I at least feel...balanced.

You are an artist even if you aren't in any galleries or guest talks. You are not a failure if you aren't living to make art. You are simply living. You make art to live. Those are two very distinct things that I think people lose sight of.

If you made it this far in, thanks for listening lol.

I think at some point in time we need to sit down and start explaining to artist who want to make a career out of art that there are FAR more options than just "living off of commissions" and "posting my art online and praying I get paid for it".

[bobaheadshark]

I very diligently read the entire ask list then promptly forgot which numbers I wanted to ask you so at random: 2, 6, 7, 11/12, 14, 17, 20 :)

mads!! so many aaa thank you... at the risk of being very long-winded but i will try NOT to b....

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

rarely tbh! i will go through like six to nine month bouts of not opening any of them ever and then re-reading a bunch and going, omg this was actually quite good??

i feel like i put everything into writing them for that moment and then get too conscious about what other people might think of them and that colours my perception for a while. so maybe new year's resolution is im trying to just meet the fics i've written like... where they were, rather than what i think they could or should be.

ok that was really long-winded already...

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

earthbound (reylo), i think about it every couple of months

i also think about ever_so_reylo's head over feet/lawyers AU quite a lot though i haven't reread it in a while. thought it was a masterclass in romance shortform that hit a lot of strong beats and just kept me reading while advancing plot really seamlessly. idk like, no surprise that ali's like a bestselling romance writer now???

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

*long sigh* too many and honestly it's mostly sports yaoi this year. don't ask me how that plot twist happened, idk either

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

usually yes! i write a LOT to music. and usually for fics that are taking a while to percolate in my head.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

idk how to share it without giving away my spotify details but here's one for the sequel to infraction

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

answered in linny's ask! the gong yoo salesman rpf one LOL

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

not necessarily research 'cus i read these before i started writing sydcarmy fic, but i definitely think the kitchen memoirs and books i read for enjoyment factored into the authenticity of the kitchen stuff i wanted to write for subsequent the bear fic. specifically: kitchen confidential by bourdain, eat a peach by david chang, and salt/fat/acid/heat - samin nosrat's cookbook. someone in the fic comments said the cooking and kitchen details felt true to life to them as someone who worked in a kitchen before (and i've neeeever worked in a kitchen before), so i was v flattered!!

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

the recent sydcarmy one ("you make christmas seem like a four letter word")! lovingly stolen from a sufjan stevens song. tonally appropriate. also bit of a departure from the one-word titles i'd been using.

asks from here

[judas-escargo]

Evil Kitchen Log #00003

Results - Partial Success

Before tackling the average drying time, I decided to see if there was a better way to get the cinnamon on the apples than just sprinkling them on. The sprinkling hurt my wrist if I did it for too long, so there had to have been a better option. I stayed with the same Cosmic Crisp apples and Medium size slice (1/8in or .32cm), as well as deciding to stick to a drying time of around 7.5 hours.

I had generally no idea where to begin with this experiment. Obviously I would try the sprinkled over cinnamon and no cinnamon, but other than that I was mostly stumped.

I ended up settling on sprinkling and rubbing it in, finding a sieve and sprinkling it on that way, and basting the apples. I had no idea if these were going to work, but I thought it was worth a try.

I made sure to set Craig to the correct temperature this time, and let my apples go. For the 7.5 hours it took for Craig to dry them, I sat nearby and thought about basting some of the apples and the decisions in my life that led me to the point where I would be doing that.

Sprinkled Cinnamon Over - Same as it always was. Decent amount of coverage and not overwhelming texture. Seems to be better the higher up I held my wrist, but had the side effect of blowing away a little bit with the air from the AC unit. 5/10

No Cinnamon - Surprisingly good. Hard to go wrong with dried apples, but I've done it. Did only taste of apples and didn't have the familiar brown dusting to it. Very easy to keep consistent because I didn't have to do anything to them. Good to know how it ended up but will not be moving forward with them. 4/10

Sprinkled Cinnamon Over and Rubbed in - This was a textural nightmare. The apples started getting brown before I had finished all the rubbing. Also, rubbing apples? Bad! Decent amount of coverage and not overwhelming texture (when eating), but only because they are basically the Sprinkled Cinnamon Over option! 3/10

Sieve'd - The holes on the sieve were too big, which basically made it look like I had accidentally spilled the entire container of cinnamon on an apple slice and wiped off what I could. Unfortunately, that is almost exactly what happened. The texture was bad. The texture was very bad. I couldn't taste the apple at all. Has the potential to be better, if I find a sieve with smaller holes. 1/10

Basted - Why did I do this. This wasn't a worse experience than the lemon demon from Log #00001, but oh god, the feeling of basting an apple, one 1/8 inch (.32cm) slice at a time really makes you question some things. What was I doing here? What led me to this point? Why am I basting an apple? The simple reason lies in the fact that when I searched "how to put stuff on things" in my favorite searchbar, all I got was Minecraft tutorials and lyrics from a They Might Be Giants song from 2013, so I had to lean on my imagination. Distribution was incredibly varied and the apples didn't dry all the way through. Probably because I basted them. Potentially could be better if I let them dry for longer. 1/10

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I guess. I'll be sticking with the Sprinkled Over option for the foreseeable future.

Supplemental: What is Stuff Is Way even about? It's just a bunch of nonsense. Is it supposed to be? Whatever the case, the song is in my head now. Also, I'm never basting a fuckin apple again. Eugh.

[soulprompts]

𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 (𝐏𝐓. 𝟏)

so, i absolutely love cooking! it's a passion of mine, i've been cooking for my family for years, people seem to find my food edible enough, and i recently found myself unable to cook at all for about a week, resulting in this little list coming into existence! i'm most likely going to make more of these, simply because the dynamics in a kitchen are varied as hell, right? we have romantic couples who cook together as a hobby, there's professional restaurant kitchen settings, baking oriented stuff, cooking with kids, there's a LOT to be done w the topic! so these are more for the chaos of someone who cannot boil an egg to save their life, vs. someone who enjoys cooking and is widely considered to be a dab hand at it! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST! but i do hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it!

" hey, hey, it's okay! we'll scrape off the burnt bits! "

" here, let me chop the onions, okay? you can dice the peppers and beef; just be sure to do them on separate boards, yeah? "

" you... you know the wine was for the stew, don't you?! "

" i swear to you, i don't know how this happened. i followed every single instruction, word for word! "

" taste this and tell me what you think! "

" oh my god... this is AMAZING! you should have your own cooking show! "

" you're kidding me! no way this whole thing is vegan! it's just too good! "

" so, um... i might have possibly accidentally tipped the entire jar of cayenne pepper into the soup... and by might have, i mean definitely. "

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

" it says here to fold in the eggs... now, tell me, how exactly does one do that? "

" i might have over-exaggerated my cooking skills... and blown up the oven. "

" look, it sounds gross, but i'm telling you, when it's cooked right, it's the best thing ever! "

" i lied to my date and now they think i'm this amazing cook when i'm absolutely not, so please, can you spare me the lecture and just teach me how to cook? "

" woah, woah, woah... try chopping like this. yeah, that's it. you won't chop off your hand this way. "

" so, um... how exactly did it manage to stay frozen solid on the inside, but scorch to a crisp on the outside? "

" okay, remember when it asked for fifty grams of sugar? yeah. i accidentally used salt. "

" well, at least we know the smoke alarms work, right? "

" i ruined three knives, i have a roast chicken embedded in my ceiling, my oven officially needs therapy, and so do i! wanna call it quits and order a pizza? "

" i swear, you're one of those kitchen gods who can make ice cubes taste fantastic! "

" this is the fun part! take that tenderiser, and beat the absolute crap out of that pile of steaks. "

" i'm trying so hard not to judge you right now, but... onion goggles?! "

" how on earth did you get pasta sauce on the ceiling? "

" you know every single firefighter in town knows my name? and my top three favorite comfort foods to bring each time i trigger the fire alarm? yeah. that's my culinary reputation. "

" hey. it's okay. this isn't the first time i've burnt dinner. i have taco bell on speed dial. "

" sometimes recipes just don't work out. and that's okay! what matters is that you tried. "

" i didn't realize it was even possible to burn water! "

" ah... i see where you went wrong. the recipe uses paprika. this is chilli powder. "

" quit eating the batter, or we'll have no cupcakes at all! "

" no! no way. i'm not tasting anything cooked by you; not since your orange juice gave me food poisoning. "

" the last time i tried to cook, my pot roast ended up on fire and put a hole in my dry wall. i had to hang paintings over it until i could refill the crater. "

" no, you cannot cook chicken medium-rare. wanna know why? because that means it's raw. and you'll end up with food poisoning. and i'll have to tell you what a moron you were to even think that was an acceptable thing to do in the first place. "

" i thought you teaching me how to cook would be all soft and friendly, like the great british bake-off! but it's more like hell's kitchen. "

" no tears in my kitchen, thank you! "

" six fires in three hours is your personal best! only problem is, we're making fruit salad... "

" i understand that it's meant to be salted caramel, but... exactly how much salt did you use?! "

[avastyetwats]

"You seem to really care about impressing my children."

"Nah, I just don't want them to eat me because they're starving." He gives Charles the widest grin when saying that, clearly joking. He didn't actually think his girls would do that, or Charles, himself, either, but since they'd been joking and teasing, he couldn't help himself with that one. Though, he did wonder how they'd be during the full moon since that's when their transformations happened and they couldn't exactly control themselves, unless they somehow could. Said full moon wasn't too far off from today and he knew he needed to be careful. But those were thoughts he'd keep to himself... for now, at least. Because that conversation would need to happen at some point. But not right now. Not when they seemed to be enjoying each other's company. Not when they were at peace. Literally in the kitchen together, talking and bantering like they were two married men prepping dinner for the children before they woke up.

His heart did that strange flutter when thinking that and he tried to shake the thought from his mind, but then Charles brought him a beer and proceeded to talk about how he preferred his steak and how the girls preferred theirs and fuck... why did this feel so goddamn intimate and domestic? And why the fuck was that making his heart dance like he was enjoying it? Oh, because he fucking was. He probably shouldn't since he was a werewolf. A different being entirely so it wasn't like them being together would ever be a possibility. Wait, why the fuck is he even thinking about that, anyway? Get yourself together, Flint. He scolds himself before taking the beer, thanking him with a small smile as he quickly takes a big drink of it. "Two rares and two mediums, got it.." He nods, clearing his throat. Medium rare for himself. "Should I make one for what's their fucking faces..." He moves to the barely cooked steaks onto a different plate. "Or are they grabbing something while out?" Jesus fuck, they really did sound like a family right now didn't they?

"Yeah, well, I'm not like other humans. I'm a hunter, remember? My job is quite literally the fucking opposite of avoiding you," he smirks, plopping two more steaks onto the frying man - these would be the mediums. When Charles mentions his love for the girls, it gives him pause and he swallows hard. It wasn't like he could deny it, because that would be fucking rude, but goddamn, he'd just met them tonight and already he was attached. He wasn't supposed to be. Not only were they his enemies - or rather used to be - but this was supposed to be just a business deal of sorts... it wasn't meant to be anything more than that, yet it felt like it was. He was thankful when he changed the subject, asking if he could help, and with a sigh, James turns to look at him but didn't realize just how close Charles had gotten. He was standing right next to him and when James turned just slightly, their shoulders brushed and their faces were inches apart. His face turned red and his heart jumped, his eyes falling briefly to his lips that were wet with beer. Fuck fuck fuck.

His gaze lifted back to his eyes and he turned away, trying to hide his red face though not quick enough. "Uh, sure, yeah. Um, there's some in the fridge, both drawers. Whatever you and the girls would like best with the steak," He took in a deep breath to try and calm his fluttering heart while shaking away the thoughts his mind came up with while they stood that close. Like what his lips would taste like stained with beer, if he'd taste more of Charles or the liquid... or how his tongue would feel tangled with his own and their bodies pressed together and... "fuck." He mutters under his breath, now having to will away the growing arousal between his legs.

Charles told him to breathe and yet he still panicked. However, hearing him say he didn’t want to mess things up made him smile. “You seem to really care about impressing my children. “ He chuckled at his soft tease, but honestly he adored that. You know how hard it was to date with three kids? Near damn impossible. It was a lot of baggage for many that didn’t want to walk into that kind of life. Wait, what was he thinking? Dating? This hunter tried to kill him earlier! And yet here he was steadily winning his heart.

“ I like mine still mooing. “ He teased again, hopping off the counter and heading to the fridge where he fetched two cold beers. He opened them both and brought one to the man toiling over his dinner. “ Rare, please. Charlotte would want rare, but the other two are medium kind of girls. “ Yes, he knew every detail of what they liked and don’t liked. He took a drink of his beer, watching him with amusement. Of course he could drink some booze. It was personal taste.

“ It’s just.. surprising is all. Other werewolves or even humans would avoid me like the plague because I have three children. And yet here you are, even in love with the most stubborn one, learning something you never knew before. “ That Thomas was right. Werewolves had families and goals too. “ Is there anything I can help with? Maybe making some veggies? “ Even though he was tired he still wanted to help. Flint had offered so much, he didn’t know how to repay him.

[teabreakpancakes]

Always And Forever Luchino x GN Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: a bit suggestive at the end

If the scholar had to list down one thing that scared him enough to fill him with worry that could eat him up from the inside, it was your reaction to his mutation.

He was no longer human after all, thoughts of your reaction filled him with anxiety than he's felt in his entire life.

So when you greeted him with your usual "Welcome back dear" with a kiss—well, you asked him to lift you so you could reach his face— he was astonished.

"Dear, will you sit on the sofa while I get the med kit? you're hurt and yet you didn't think to treat your wounds before coming home, what if they got infected" Luchino's lover nagged from the kitchen, all while taking out a medium sized box from one of the cupboards.

Luchino was in a daze—were you not freaked out by his new appearance?, he'd be labeled as scary by other people if anyone saw him but here you are, acting as if nothing has changed.

(Name) sat down beside him, cleaning the raw patches of skin on the reptilian and patching him up.

Orange eyes met (Name)'s own, the human arching one of their eyebrows at Luchino's gaze. "What?" they asked, going back to the med kit to look for bandages of the appropriate size.

"Are you not afraid of my new appearance? of me?" the researcher questioned, his voice getting quieter with each word that left his mouth.

(Name) resisted the urge to roll their eyes, letting out a sigh they shut the med kit. They grabbed whatever was left of Luchino's clothes and pulled him down so they were eye to eye with each other.

"Listen, I don't care about whatever you look like, I have loved you for almost three years even before we even became a thing, if you seriously think I'm giving up this wonderful relationship because of your appearance, you are mistaken" they reassured in a very aggressive way because Luchino swears that he saw literal fire in their eyes when they said that.

"Now come on, let's get you some new clothes and some food—that is, if you still eat human food?" they looked at him, waiting for his answer with an expectant look on their face.

Luchino nodded, "Of course I still eat normal food but even if I didn't I'd still eat the food you made" he claimed, smiling down at his lover.

(Name) resisted the urge to flick him because of the last thing he said—WHAT IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS AND HIS BODY REJECTS THE FOOD!?.

(Name) pushed away those thoughts, smiling back at Luchino. "Good, because I made your favourite", pulling him by one of his hands to their shared bedroom.

"How can you make yourself?" Luchino teased, pretending to contemplate regarding the matter while a tomato red hue slowly crept up his S/O's face.

They let go of his hand, running into their bedroom with a silent scream. Scrambling to get a random oversized pair of pajamas Luchino owned, they threw it to him before speed walking to the kitchen.

Luchino chuckled, he thought that a tomato would be very jealous of how red you were.

Though, he was serious when he said you were his favourite—he was gonna make sure that you were only capable of saying his name by the end of the night.

i was supposed to write for joseph but while i was playing a match of duo hunters as luchino, i dropped this scale for this little girl that was one hit away and watched proudly as she stunned geisha with it.

i was like, "yayy" and then i thought of writing for him so yeah.

- lawless