#i don't even own beast yet so i can't even just go ahead and read it now :

[altruistic-meme]

biting and chewing an gnawing >:((((((((

[umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken]

Pro Nesta rant

You're telling me that Nesta, proud as a peacock Nesta who once told Feyre:

'... you're a burden.'

'What do you know?... You're just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up, and someday- someday, Feyre, you'll have no-one left to remember you, or to care that you ever existed."

(ACOTAR p.19)

You expect me to believe that after she was finished telling Feyre that she's not worth shit, she's going to go ahead and continue to rely solely on Feyre for money, food, and everything else they need for survival? Nah, I don't buy it.

The amount of pride this girl has tells me that she WOULD NOT allow this to happen. She'd probably rather die than contradict herself, and she'd probably rather die than have Feyre see that she's finally bringing herself down to her level by actually doing visible work, SO

Did Nesta contribute in the cottage?

We already know that Feyre is an unreliable narrator who doesn't value traditionally feminine roles, so anything that Nesta did around the cottage most likely wasn't even seen as a real contribution in Feyre's eyes.

Feyre, self admittedly can't cook, and yet how were they able to eat for the past eight or so years before she learned how to hunt and cure meat? Their father? I don't think so. I think it was a joint effort between Nesta and Elain, this seems the most likely.

Also, unless all of the Archeron sisters didn't grow at all in the last eight years, how did they all have appropriately sized clothes to wear? I doubt they had the money to buy three new sets of clothes every year, so that means that someone needed to take over the job of mending hand me downs and making sure that they fit. Again, was it Feyre? I doubt that. Their father? I really doubt that. Again, the job falls to Nesta and Elain, the two sisters who would have been taught by their mother traditionally lady-like tasks such as sewing.

That's just general contributions/ chores around the cottage, if she'd wanted to make some money, that leaves jobs that she could do during the day whilst Feyre is off hunting, such as:

Tutoring: We already know that she enjoys reading, and was highly educated by her mother and grandmother when they were alive. She could have tutored the children of the village during the day and come home in the afternoon, just in time to keep up her façade of not giving a shit for Feyre.

Embroidery/ sewing/ laundry: This comes with the lady-of-the-house education that Nesta would have received. She could have done the mending for the women of the village, or been commissioned to embroider little things on their clothes and linen, or even to make clothes/ quilts for the villagers. She would also be able to easily hide her projects/ commissions away in a basket or something that would be completely overlooked by Feyre.

Elain's flower garden: There are tonnes of flowers with medicinal properties that could be dried and sold to apothecaries for remedies, or even made into home remedies and sold straight from the cottage.

With the money earned from these jobs, she could buy food, candles, needles and thread, soap, etc etc, and just spend Feyre's 'breadwinner' money on frivolous things.

tl;dr, I find it hard to believe that Nesta simply sat on her ass for eight years and constantly belittled and bullied Feyre pretty much every single day just to rely wholly on her for her own survival. She absolutely did shit around the cottage, she just kept it a secret so that she could keep her pride.

[anticidic]

hi darling!! i am back because i realized that somewhere along the "just spit it on to the page" writing i've been doing for the abo fic that is still 100% your fault, i am somehow at. almost 10k words. which is insane.

BUT since i've got so much and yet have barely begun, i decided to poke you about something that im playing with in it which IS: what are your thoughts on the possibility of Chuuya's secondary gender being messed with/fucked up by his time in the labs?

that is still 100% your fault

but omg i'm happy for you!! i'm still totally interested in what you've got cooking and will 100% give it a read, hehe 👀

(putting this warning ahead of time but cw: for talking about experimentation)

it's funny you say that, because my beast skk fic has this loosely used as a subplot explanation for some of the fuckery going on with him that i won't go too into details bc the fic is still ongoing and i'm pretty sure I have readers following me here. but i somehow managed to make professor n even more of a scumbag for what happened to chuuya, so uhh, yay?

my immediate thought is: heck yeah!! esp. if you like to add a touch of explanation to your omegaverse worldbuilding beyond just 'uhhhh it happens because i say so'

the tldr of what i did in my own fic about chuuya getting experimented on was that his clone was used as a scapegoat for a secret experiment wherein scientists were trying to see if they could combine alpha/omega traits either into a beta or put alpha traits into an omega and vice versa with alphas. like, implanting the scent glands of one individual into another in the hopes that the recipient would inherit the behaviors of the first person and by proxy their unique scent, because scents are tied to identities in a very 'if your identity is stolen, your life may as well be forfeit in whoever's hands it fell into because they know now all of your memories'

the short answer is that the experiment went fucking terribly because it turns out the body can't handle experiencing both a rut and a heat at the same time. people just drop dead best case scenario because they fail to thrive.

ANYWAY, that was the angle i went with as an example and i feel like since what was done to chuuya as a kid is vague enough to leave up to interpretation, this can work in your favor for what you have planned. as a wink-wink nudge-nudge, you could also factor in the poisons used on chuuya/him getting stabbed with that knife laced with poison. where the consequences aren't immediate, but long-term it ends up altering his genes on a basic, functioning level.

it doesn't have to be all bad, either. his time in the lab could've positively affected him (i know this sounds ironic but i don't mean that he had a good time there sdfjkdjfk just that there was a silver lining to the unspeakable horrors that he can use to his advantage) depending on the omegaverse worldbuilding you do. maybe one of the subgenders has a disadvantage of some sort, and he was experimented on ~for the greater good~ to save him from a future life of hardship. OR, OR, you could use it as an excuse for why he doesn't experience heats or ruts or isn't affect by the scents of those around him. maybe professor n dun goofed real bad and no one even knows what to classify chuuya as. he's just chuuya.

there's actually a lot you can do with it tbh that are all very, very interesting. it's ripe for angst, for some cool lore, and interesting plot twists that i don't see explored often in omegaverse tbh. i hope this gave you some food for thought!!

[royal1asset-if]

Late Story Part 2

Another late story, sorry about that just finished my exam today and I'm so happy that I got a good score and still happy to write this snippet😁😁.

Continuing with were we left off, MC recounting the events.

(Before, MC's Story)

You hear the birds chirping and rooster crowing, signaling a new day has arrived.

You groaned in annoyance due to the sun is blasting your eyes with it's blinding light, you turned to your other side and raised your arms to hug your wife.

But only emptiness and the soft foam of the bed is all you feel, you prod along the edges maybe your wife is at the far-end of the bed but still not feeling her smooth skin.

Opening your eyes, you saw that no one is there and that your all alone.

Then your remembered that the children has class today and maybe your wife is the one who took them to school.

Well, your sleep gone and deprived the touch of your wife, you got off from bed and freshen up a bit.

Getting and wearing clothes fit for this sunny day, you exited the bedroom and arrived at the hallway.

It's very quiet, alarmingly quiet or maybe you're just paranoid because the kids are at school right now.

You past the kid's bedroom doom and descended the staircase.

Going straight ahead to the kitchen to calm the beast that is your stomach, your eyes landed on the oaken table finding a note and a plate covered with a another plate.

You pull the chair and sat down and pluck the note to read it.

Dear, Firefly

I woke up early and prepared the kids for school, I also noticed that your sleeping soundly and I did not want to disturb your slumber.

There is pie on the table but it's cold as ice but I think you can manage to warm it on your own ;)

Also, Serena and Elrick drop by telling that we should have get-together this evening and should meet at the "Bullseye"

And don't forget to pick up the children after school!!!

With Love, Moonpie

Dropping down the note, you made a mental reminder to not forget the kids because the last time you did that.

It did not bode very well for you, who would have thought that the combined wrath of kids and your wife will spell the apocalypse, for you at least.

Gaining the kids forgiveness is easy because they have a great time watching your ass get whooped by your wife but you can't say the same for your wife.

You chuckle remembering all the hard work she dropped down on you as punishment for your negligence.

Working hard and begging her forgiveness she started to come around and finally forgave you but did not really forget your transgressions.

Rising up from your chair and getting the pie to reheat it on the fire.

Up to this day, you're still trying to wrap your head around the fact that your wife who is and vicious and relentless assassin loves pie and that one of her childhood dreams is being a baker.

Ah yes, you still remember how you try your best stop laughing when she confess.

Honestly speaking you really did your best and mustering up your strength to stop from falling over but it's just to much to bear and like a dam bursting off you exploded.

You laugh and laugh, you only stop when you felt a shiver went down on your spine and noticing that she is glaring at you and it's the most terrifying glare you have ever seen.

Gulping because you know that this particular glare is different from her default stare and preparing yourself for the worst.

Yet, your still breathing and what she did next made you think that you're going insane.

She is laughing and is the most beautiful thing you have seen, sure others might call you dramatic but to you is the most heart moving scene you have ever scene.

Maybe you can say that it outrivals the joy that you felt when you hold your kids in your arms when they are still an infant.

Times sure is fast and you start to think that maybe you're getting old.

Nose wrinkling and smelling that something is burning, you look down and saw that your pie is ablaze.

(Intermission)

"HAHAHAHAHA!" A familiar and annoying laughter interrupted your story.

You glare at your companion and clearing your throat hoping that he will get the hint.

He continued to laugh and others laugh with him, you cleared your throat again and this time you really want to punch his face very much.

"Alright, Alright I stop!" Elrick wipes the tears from his eyes and gathering his composure.

"But you have to admit MC it's kinda funny!" Serena says in a mocking tone.

"HEY BE QUIET YOU TWO!" Garry The Barkeeper saves your pride and dignity.

You looked at him and tip your imaginary hat to him to which he in response raise a mug in your honor.

"So let's continue shall we?" so that no one can further disrupt your story and preventing another rounds of laughter from your audience.

(Resume Story)

Managing to avert the disaster of burning the house down because you know deep down that the blazing flames is no match for the hellfire that is the wrath of your wife when she learns that you burnt the house and burnt her pie.

So you took a spoon and bite the pie to which your surprise that is still delicious even after it's ordeal.

Finished eating and washing the dishes, you went with your daily activities such as cutting wood for fire, feeding the chickens and milking the cows.

The day went on without any further incident and the sun is starting to go down.

You clean yourself up and preparing to pick the children from school, you started the journey.

It's a little far away because your wife preferred the quietness and company of Mother Nature rather than the bustling town.

Maybe this is her way of coping from all the gruesome work that both of you have done when you were active in duty as the "Royal Assets" of the King.

Arriving at the school grounds and seeing your children waiting for you at the school's gate.

Something is wrong you can feel it in your gut, you can almost feel it as a father intuition.

Why is your children not running towards you? So you walk towards them hell bent on wanting to know to what is causing this.

Getting closer you can see that Nick head is cast down and not quite looking you in the eyes.

This is what they usually do this when they feel that they have something done wrong and feeling ashamed of their actions.

"What's wrong?" you inquire him with worry.

Nick remained silent and still not looking at you, Richard is the one who gave you an answer.

"Dad, Nick got into a fight with a bully and the principal wants to talk to you if you have free time." he tells you the news with shaking in his voice.

Your hand balls into fist on instinct, your child is being bullied and have been hurt, you knelt down to Nick's level and put your finger under his chin.

You tilt his head up so that you can meet eye to eye and you want Nick to be the one to tell the truth.

"Is it true Nick?" you steel your voice but it cracked under the pain seeing that your son has a bruise on his cheek."

"Luna will not like this, not like it at all!" you ponder worriedly.

The last time someone hurt those people who she held dear is lying 6-feet underground or some is too wounded to stand up.

Let's say that Luna tend to loose control, more like go berserk. You still remembered that night, when you and her just talking a walk after having dinner.

You saw two silhouettes at the far end of the road that you were currently walking, noticing that they are drunk evident by the way they stumble and walking swaying side to side.

You didn't pay it no mind focused on your date but when the 2 drunks got nearer they sucker punch you on your gut.

Knocking the wind out of you and dropping to your knees, you can't defend yourself and your date.

You looked upwards to your attacker and saw that he is winding up another punch but your date intercept the attack by punching him in the throat.

The drunk's friend got pissed and charged at your date and raising a fist.

Your date dodged to the side and evading the attack then she delivered a kick to the shin and you swear that you remembered that you heard bones breaking.

The friend sunk down to his knees and crying loudly, your date hold the head his head like a bull and slam her knee to his face.

Leaving a ugly look on his face plus a broken nose to go with it.

She offered her hand to help you to which you accepted gladly, standing to your feet albeit still wobbly.

You have to hold her back to prevent her from killing the two and have to beg her to return to her senses, that is the day you knew that Luna tend to be vengeful and murderous.

"Dad?" the voice of Nick brings you back to the present.

You looked down at a worried and scared Nick, holding onto the hems of your clothes.

"Wil Mommy be angry?" he ask you and eyes starting to tear up.

You hug your child knowing that he needs this the most right now, you calm him and rub his back to soothe him.

"No Mom will not be angry." because you know that her fury will be directed at the antagonizers and you know this will not end peacefully.

You hoist Nick to your arms and wrapped your arm on Richard's shoulders and getting him close to you.

"C'mon let's go the bakery and get you two Mom's delicious pies!" you try to divert the worry and attention of the 2 but to no avail they remained quiet.

Leading the way and thinking how can you gently break this news to your bloodthirsty wife.

"No rest for the wicked!" you murmur tiringly.

TO BE CONTINUED

[bluemoondust]

i just found your blog and i love all of the yandere pokemon stuff, can you please do some yandere eusine headcanons like i believe he's almost as bad as pepe le pew when it comes his darling like it almost makes him forget about suicune for a little bit

I'm glad you enjoyed my yan pokemon stuff! Eusine is one of those characters that, for some reason, stuck to me when playing through HG, so I got really excited to write these. A lot of the stuff he says in pursuit of Suicune gives enough yandere material 👀

✧General Yandere Headcanons — Mystery Man Eusine✧

Warning(s): Obsessive Behavior, Delusional Thoughts/Behavior, Stalking, Mentions of Non Consensual Touching, Breaking and Entering, Use of Hypnosis, Manipulation

The whole ordeal begins with curiosity. You caught this man's attention when he saw how Suicune would appear whenever you were around. He believed the beast of the north winds had chosen you and admittedly, Eusine could see why. You seem to have this aura around you that intrigued him. Every time he encountered you in pursuit of Suicune, he say you and decided to pick up on more details on you as a person.

Sooner or later, it gets unhealthy. To an extreme. Eusine, to put it bluntly, is a very obsessive yandere. He has been trying to track down Suicune for ten full years, so it's very telling right off the bat what sort of yandere he is. The small interactions eventually are not enough for him as he becomes sidetracked by you. This is to the point where, as you've said, Suicune is less of a priority now. You're what's on his mind. You keep him up late at night as Eusine makes up these little scenarios in his head about you. You are the reason he keeps popping up every now and then just so he can talk to you. Meanwhile, you are completely unaware of the fact that he was already following you beforehand.

It turns into a necessity to know every little detail about you, so Eusine can be closer to you. When he's not striking up a conversation with you, he is tracking your every move, wherever you go. He deems it an obligation to have every bit of information on you, whether it be mundane or worthwhile. Everything that has to do with you is something he holds dear to him.

Eusine is not fully aware of his yandere tendencies. He views it as a very deep passion and is the type to put ideas in his own mind. Though, in the context if he were conscious of all this, he pushes the red flags aside; without a care in the world. Whatever the case, Eusine is ever still calculating and charming. With every moment he spends time with you, it fuels the idea in his head that the two of you are together. He is the type of yandere who makes you feel comfortable, unless you can see past everything and catch onto the red flags. If that is so, Eusine views your avoidance as a silent treatment. He must have done something to upset you, but what? Either way, he'll come to your side and try to make things right as rain. Eusine can read you after all with how much he watches you.

But oh, I haven't even gone onto the topic of his... Little visits. Eusine has taken upon himself to pass by your home every once in a while to pick up trinkets. It can range from anything you own such as articles of clothing or accessories. It's just so he can has a piece of you with him wherever he goes. He does still has his research to do and he gets lonely. Eventually he can just make a copy of your key so he doesn't have to go through the window. You... Just haven't brought up the subject of such yet. You're probably hesitant to bring it up but don't worry, Eusine is way ahead of you.

He throws small acts of affection here and there, depending on how you are. He always gives the back of your hand a kiss whenever he conveniently runs into you. Compliments all around too. The man practically worships you to a high extent and can't go without a moment where he doesn't remind you how wonderful you are. He is always touching you in some way. A hand on your shoulder, petting your head, poking your cheek or nose, grasping your hand, a finger against your lips, and so on. It becomes... Overbearing, suffocating even. Eusine just loves the feel of you upon his skin; it's an addiction, really.

Why would this man be jealous of anyone? You're already his after all. The two of you are destined to be together, so why worry about anyone getting in the way? To him, those people are arrogant to even attempt such an act. If someone were to try and 'steal you away', the solution is simple: hypnosis. They will forget why they even tried or just come to an 'understanding' that you are with Eusine.... And they will completely support it. How nice of them!

I don't think Eusine is a selfish yandere, however I believe he has these little moments where he wants more from you. He's been good to you, so why don't you return the favor, darling? Even in his delusional state, Eusine is very aware that this whole thing shouldn't just be all give on his side while you just take, despite the fact that you aren't aware of such. So, it's only fair if Eusine steals kisses from you every now and then, right? He can freely ask for your presence any time, yes? If you refuse, that's disappointingly. Eusine thought you knew better, but that's fine. He has his ways in negotiating with you.

[skania]

The Final Stroke: Thoughts on Haru's conflict (+Rin)

Okay so reading all the summaries of The Final Stroke Part 1 has left me with A LOT of thoughts. About Haru, about Rin, about Rin & Haru and how all the different character conflicts will be tied together in Part 2.

BUT since I have been waiting YEARS for Free! to feed me some juicy Haru conflict, of course I'm sinking my teeth into that first because peeling off Haru's layers has always been my favorite Free! sport.

It's been a long while since I've tried to get into Haru's head AND I haven't even watched the movie yet so I'm probably wrong, but here goes nothing. As per usual, it will be long and image-heavy because I can't keep things short and sweet to save my life.

Also, it's heavy on spoilers about The Final Stroke so please do not read without reading Fencer's summary first!

AND since it's basically impossible to discuss Haru without discussing Rin and vice-versa, please do also expect a healthy dose of RinHaru.

Utsumi: Indeed; it’s a path Haruka never would have chosen himself. But despite claims that he doesn’t care about winning or losing or scoring certain times, he’s always been attentive to Rin’s presence. [x]

Please assume there's a huge "IMO" attached to this whole post.

In Season 1, we saw Haru struggle to understand that the reason for his emotional turmoil was quite simply that he wanted to swim with Rin again.

In Season 2, we saw Haru struggle because he wanted to follow Rin into the Pro world, but he felt like he didn't deserve to do so because he didn't have a dream and thus, no strong feelings about competitive swimming itself.

Needless to say, there's a pattern.

In Season 3, the series kind of took a detour. Still, it did plant some seeds, the most important IMO being the following:

"After I hit 20, I will be..."

"If you ask me what lies ahead of me, I..."

"You can't survive without throwing something away. I didn't want to throw anything away. But I lost."

"Maybe I don't deserve to compete at the global level."

Road to the World adds some extra layers to all that by showing us just what else is connected to that fear of Haru's.

Because, what do we see after Rin tells Haru that no matter what wall [Rin] faces, the one thing that doesn't change is his desire to keep swimming with [Haru]?

We see the moment Rin tells Haru "aim for the world with me, Haru!". Then, the moment Rin asks Haru what his dream is—right when Haru finally felt free after achieving the dream he had that season, that of swimming with Rin again. Lastly, we see the moment Rin asks Haru "what will you do?" when it comes to choosing between swimming in a recreational pool, or the one used by the National Team.

Every single one of these moments brought Haru closer to his dream—and Rin is the common factor in them all. So when Rin tells Haru,

It's obvious by those flashbacks alone what Haru's answer is. He, too, wants to keep swimming with Rin in that world.

But before the thought can fully form in Haru's mind, Albert flashes through it. We immediately see Haru's disposition change, and the result is the most telling of all.

Just like always, the imagery is on point. Rin and his desire to swim with him give Haru strength and purpose and Haru clenches his fist—but this time, Albert seeps that strength from him until his fist goes limp. And suddenly, Haru doesn't know what to say to Rin anymore.

Because, what Albert makes Haru wonder, is this:

From my limited perspective (like I said before, I haven't watched TFS yet), I think that might just be where the heart of Haru's issue in The Final Stroke lies.

I think a big part of why Haru wants to win against Albert so badly is probably because he wants to prove to himself that he does deserve to be in that world—like Rin. That all his friends are right to believe in him.

And he feels even more pressured because he thinks he's running out of time.

All this pressure to win—not to feel the water better or to be the best in the water he loves so much, but simply to win before he's "ordinary"—does not let Haru swim freely. He doesn’t swim like himself.

He is probably terrified of his own limits and of how close he might be to hitting them, and this fear and pressure are binding him.

Moreover, while Haru decided that he wanted to swim in that world, the truth is that he doesn’t know what the future holds for him.

He has no long-term, tangible plans. Unlike Rin, who wants to win a gold medal, Haru just wants to swim "in the whole world". This, added to the fact that he thinks he’ll be ordinary by 20 and that he has not managed to beat Albert, makes it so Haru is basically blinded to what the future can bring for him. He can’t see that sight.

Part of the reason for this, I feel, is that the series has never addressed the big elephant in the room.

What exactly does Haru get out of competitive swimming, besides swimming with Rin? Because "swimming in that world" is nice and sweet and idealistic, but it doesn't cover the fact of racing itself.

I used to talk a lot about why Haru needed to find a reason to enjoy competing even when it isn't against Rin. That he needed to find a reason to want that for himself. I even thought S3 may finally go for it, but it ended without Haru finding meaning in that "world of wins and losses", as he used to call it.

Usually, he’d look at Rin to point the way forward. And it is knowing that Rin (and to a lesser extent, Ikuya) is there fighting with him and aiming for the world as well that gives Haru some reassurance.

However, from what we know from the summaries, Haru isn’t thinking of them when he swims. He is entirely caught up on needing to beat Albert because of what it has come to represent to him.

There’s also the issue of Haru’s competitiveness. Haru spent a long time suppressing it and only indulging in it with Rin. But he has always wanted to be the best in the water—the one who "feels" it best.

It wasn’t that he wanted to win, or that he hated losing; it was just that he couldn’t simply accept that there was someone who could feel the water more than he could. (x)

So when you combine all of this, I feel like Haru has lost sight of the most important thing—that instead of swimming just to win, like it’s a job, he should swim to feel the water he loves so much and, most importantly, for the team (with his friend’s feelings in his heart).

That way, he could swim like himself and the water won’t be sad nor lonely.

This all sounds like a lot and it is. Haru is all but suffocating under this weight.

So, when Rin comes and tells him that [Haru] will be facing Albert alone—that they aren’t fighting him together, like Haru hoped for—Haru snaps.

It’s not only that what Haru perceives as the biggest obstacle to his dream (Albert) is standing before Haru (alone) and Rin won’t be there to share his struggles, but also that Rin is the reason he’s there in the first place because Rin is the one that made Haru stop wanting to be ordinary.

He’s the reason why he’s gotten to this point and the reason he came into the global stage and ran into Albert. He’s also the biggest thing Haru will lose if he can’t win against Albert—because if Haru’s dream ends, he won’t get to swim with Rin in that world anymore.

And now Rin’s walking away from swimming free and leaving him alone with this beast of a swimming machine and with [Haru’s] own limitations. And Haru feels trapped. He feels bitter. He feels betrayed. Terrified.

And, of course, lost. Because just like Rin once said, "Without you, I have nothing to aim for, you know?"

So, he snaps.

And by burning bridges with Rin, the very embodiment of "For the Team", the one person that he has always wanted to swim with most of all, the one whose feelings he was still connected to above all—by virtue of swimming together in that world, by sharing a dream—Haru now feels like he's truly alone in the water.

Haru is essentially turning his back on the very reason he swims for—in more ways than one. So, he’s becoming a second Albert. Only there to win, not to have fun.

Because that’s the thing. Haru says he’s doing it for his dream, but since he can’t see that dream clearly, he lacks direction. All he can see is the immediate future and all that stares back at him are his own limitations—embodied by Albert himself.

Albert represents, then, the road Haru must not take. Haru can’t be all about becoming stronger simply for the sake of winning—and he must definitely not do so alone. Like Ikuya said in S3, if Haru isn't gaining that strength for someone else (the team), there's no point.

So, since this is Free!, Haru needs to go back to his roots and truly swim for the team once again. But I feel like he also needs to re-contextualize his dream and truly define what it entails, for once and for all. Which, if we go by everything we've seen so far—should involve swimming with Rin.

Only then will he be able to swim freely again.

There's A LOT of foreshadowing and things from S3 that will most likely play a role in that and I haven't even touched Rin's choice to not swim free anymore, but this has gotten really long and I've run out of image slots lmao so I'll just have to ramble about those some other time 🙇‍♀️

[buttercandy16]

Desert Rose

Pairings: Sam (Desierto) x reader

Genre: Dark, Thriller

Summary: 

While trying to pass through the US border you and your sickly little brother along with a group of Mexican migrants encounter a deadly fate in the hands of a merciless, deranged vigilante and his faithful but vicious Malinois dog. What happens when the said vigilante took a sinister interest in you and decided to spare you and your brother in exchange for your surrender and obedience, and maybe more.

Warning(s): DARK, angsts, sinister intentions, violence, explicit language, obsession, possessiveness, Dub-Con, manipulation, death, mental illness, hurt/comfort, smut(?)

(y/n) - your name

(b/n) - brother’s name

A/N: Be warned I’m not an expert writer and mostly just writing this fic down for my own pleasure. This is probably my second-ish published fanfiction and it’s 100% shitty (for me). So please bear with me and I hope that you’ll still find this enjoyable to read. *fingers crossed*

Also, special thanks to my creepy soulsister @negans-attagirl for being an awesome beta reader, lots of love 😘

Part 1 || (Y/N) P.O.V

It had been an hour ago since our truck broke down in the middle of the US borders and now I'm currently sweating like a dog under the desert sun while trying to keep up with the rest of the group that my brother and I came along with.

"(y/n)? Are we there yet? I feel so tired"

My eyes went down to the little boy looking at me with tired eyes while trying his best to continue holding on to the end of my jacket.

"Nope, but don't worry buddy we'll get there soon, just hold on for a bit, okay?" Smiling to him reassuringly.

To be honest, I have no idea how long it will take for us to get there, and I'm beginning to feel worried for my little brother since I know that it wouldn't be long till his lungs decide to work itself up. My brother is suffering from a serious illness called Chronic Bronchitis and that is the main reason why we need to migrate to America. Back home I have an on/off job that can barely feed us, the doctors I can afford for (b/n) aren't that good either and I know that the only way I can help my brother is to cross the border and do everything that’s needed to make him eligible for the treatment. So here we are, illegally crossing...

BANG!

A loud gunshot echoed throughout the desert stopping us from our tracks. I held onto my brother’s hand tightly preparing myself to run when needed. Once our guide Lobo called out to us the next thing I know we were sprinting to the fields.

Minutes of running we finally stopped giving us some time to rest while Lobo and Mechas, another guide of ours, surveys the area for any signs of danger. Looking down at (b/n) I could clearly see that he was trying his best to control his breathing. I quickly reached for his inhaler and gave it to him. Once done inhaling the medicine his breathing was beginning to normalize, and so was mine.

“Hey bud, you good?” I asked while putting his inhaler back in his backpack.

“Yup! All good. Umm (y/n) what was that gunshot about? Are they gonna shoot at us?” (b/n) asked thoughtfully. Thinking about what to say I finally settled to a somewhat more comforting answer, “Of course not, must be something else. No need to worry okay? I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you”

“You promise?” holding out his pinky for me to take.

“Promise. I’ll do anything for you” and I know that I will, no matter what.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

(A few moments later)

Resuming our journey once again, (b/n) and I were trying our best to keep up but we ended up getting left behind along with a teenage girl which I came to know as Adela, Ramiro her sleazy guardian, a lanky man named Moises, Mechas who’s currently berating us to move our ass, and another male migrant which I forgot his name.

Lobo and the rest were already way ahead of us and as much as we tried to get their attention, we ended up getting ignored.

Letting out a frustrated sigh I averted my attention below and what I saw made me freeze on the spot. It’s a truck, SHIT!

“Everybody, get down now!”

Everyone immediately complied. I pointed down to the truck just a couple of miles away from us, as a man stepped outside the car. Moments later a dog jumped out of it and it seems like the man was giving it something he found on the ground to smell on. The dog ran in the direction of the rest of our group and I know from that moment that something bad is about to happen. He ordered his dog to get in the truck while he retrieved something deadly... Oh lord! That looks like...

“A sniper” Moises shakily stated, finishing my terrified thoughts.

I held onto my brother preparing for the worst.

The man positioned himself near a cliff while aiming his gun towards our fellow migrants. And then the first shot was fired…

BANG! BANG! BANG! The gunshot continued while we shockingly watched what was happening in front of us...One by one, our fellow migrants were crashing to the ground painting the desert floor with the blood of the innocent.

Covering my brother’s eyes and ears with tears welling up in the corner of my eye.

I was so terrified that I didn’t even realize that the gunshots stopped. I was pulled back to reality when Adela was frantically pulling my arm while telling me that we need to go. Getting back to my senses I pulled my brother with me while we dashed to where we came from. Sweat falling from my forehead while my breathing became labored and still, I didn’t stop running. I’ve only paused for a moment when I heard (b/n) breathlessly say that he can’t breathe.

No no no please not now. Crouching down to my brother’s level, I took his bag while in search of his inhaler. That’s when I noticed a rip from the bottom. No this can't be happening. I tried to search for it but it’s gone. Looking at my brother his breathing was becoming erratic. So I held him in my arms while I rocked him back and forth “Hey bud, look at me. (b/n) look at me and listen to my breathing okay? Your alright buddy”

“What on earth are you doing?! You have to get up now or else they will catch up!!” Moises yelled at me.

“I can’t. We lost his inhaler somewhere and he’s having an asthma attack. I need to calm him down or else he won’t be able to breathe!” my voice filled with desperation as I just yet noticed Moises terrified expression. Something was behind us...

When I followed his gaze I saw the dog running towards us. Oh, god!

Moises’s eyes were full of guilt as he turned away from us and started running. “ No! Please don’t leave us please!!!” I cried desperately but to no avail. When I returned my gaze to the dog I can see that it was getting closer and closer. I know that we wouldn’t be able to outrun it no matter how much I tried. Looking down at my brother who was still having a hard time controlling his breathing. Time to deliver a promise… I gently placed him right behind me, standing up to my full height readying myself for what’s about to come. 

The dog immediately jumped right at me while it sinks its canines in my arm. Crying in agony from the pain that ripped right through me, my brother’s breathy cries can be heard from behind me while I tried to get the beast off, stumbling on a rock I fell down on the ground and then hit my head hard on a rock. Fighting for consciousness my vision was getting blurry, I was barely feeling my mortal wound. I even failed to realize that they were no longer any canines sinking into my arm. Lolling my hazy head to the side, with a blurry vision I could see a pair of black heavy boots slowly approaching me. The sound of dust, his heavy boots clinking with each step and my desperate cry for my brother were the only sounds in the otherwise silent desert.

blink* boots by my side blink* shadow above blink* soft caresses on my cheeks blink* I was losing my consciousness... With tears in my eyes I can barely hold on,  but before losing myself to the darkness I can hear him mumble on… the words of the devil have sealed my fate and from then on I knew I will never escape.

“Beautiful, my desert rose,” he said. 

yup, I'm fucked.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

TAGLIST:

@happysgal @negans-attagirl

Comment below if you want to get tagged for the next chapters 😘💚

[king-maven-calore]

*asks about Mare's M scar turn into another episode of Annie overanalyzing YA books*

this is your fault guys. In trying to make sense of Mare's "decision" to keep the scar, and reading your takes on the matter I started to wonder if there was something more to it than what is offered as an explanation in Mare's PoV. Some parts of the story can't be taken at face value and still expect them to make sense in the established narrative.

⚠️ LONG POST AHEAD ⚠️ and I apologize in advance for my limited English to try to elaborate on such a complex subject.

Anon #1 said: I AGREE WITH YOU SM. I don't understand why Mare kept the scar. Imagine having to explain to your children how you got it...

Anon #2 said: Same. Personally I think she shouldn’t keep it. She claims that she keeps the scar so that it can always remind her of who Maven truly is, but there are literally multiple reminders to remind of who he is. Like the entire Nortan government changing. He was the cause of everything and it caused a domino effect. He caused Shade’s death, babies dying, etc. so all that should be a reminder of who he is imo.

@lucy-the-cat said: Well, in King's Cage she held onto the brand as proof that Maven was irredeemable and didn't deserve sympathy. This framing continued in War Storm, where Mare weaponizes it during the meeting. After killing him, she probably kept it to reassert to herself that she made the right choice.

After killing him in War Storm, she needs to reassert to herself that she made the right choice. Remember that strange scene where she talks to Cal and is all “You’re mad at me for killing your brother” and he’s very confused and she insists “You are you just don’t know it yet”? She’s projecting her guilt over Maven’s death onto him, and in Broken Throne, she sees Cal grieve for the brother that never was, and fears succumbing to the same.

War Storm has a passage where Cal discusses healing some of his scars and Mare retorts that some things should be remembered. But here’s the thing: When a scar heals, the memory of how you got it doesn’t disappear. It’s about not ACTIVELY reminding yourself of it every time you look in the mirror.

That’s self-harm logic. And Mare has always been prone to self-harm, what with her keeping Maven’s letters and admitting to scratching herself in King’s Cage. She got better about it as the books went on, but to me the brand is proof she never fully grew out of it. Maybe she did eventually but humans will do anything to rationalize continuing what we’re already doing.

And yeah, I can see Cal giving up and being like, “FINE I’ll enable you” lol

I think we can all agree that the use of the scar during WS makes sense from a propaganda standpoint, also as a reminder for herself because at that point in the story Maven is still alive and kicking it.

In a world where erasing scars completely is a possibility, it's very interesting that the protagonist chooses to keep it after it served its purpose in the plot. Hence, my problem with the scar starts after the main plot arc ends, when Maven is already gone and the sole presence of the mark becomes a source of retraumatization for Mare.

I really like lucy-the-cat's psychological explanation and I couldn't have worded it better myself. On the other hand, in literature, a wound tells a story.

A scar is a narrative inscribed into the hero's skin, granting them authority over the lived ordeal. Think of the term "Battle scars" something that men used as badges of honor, as proof that they fought in a romanticized war and proved themselves to a patriarchal society that deems violence a form of authority.

Mare takes this conception when she is trying to convince Montfort to go against Maven.

Traumatic memories lack verbal and narrative context; rather, they are encoded in the form of vivid sensations and images (a "death imprint"). The traumatic memory gains destructive force not for the link to the past, but for the repetition in the present of the event that hasn't been fully processed yet.

“You had some scars removed.”

I can only shrug. It’s been weeks since I had a healer erase the older scars across my back and ribs, wiping away the raised edges of white, knotted flesh. Wounds unbecoming of a king. (...) “Some things don’t have to be held on to.”

Her eyes narrow. “And some things do, Cal.”

I can only nod in silent agreement, unwilling to follow her over the precipice of that particular conversation. It won’t lead us anywhere productive. (War Storm ch 23)

If we take a look at the dichotomy of Mare's choice with Cal's, and how it relates to their character arcs, we can see a very common device used in media that employs the damaged body to show the state of the character's soul.

In mainstream media such as Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars, Moon lovers (a K-drama) the redemption of the male protagonist's soul, the ending of their journeys, is marked by the restoration of the body either by transforming back into human (the Beast), the healing of a scar (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and Wang So), just to mention a few.

At this point in the story, Cal is nearing his final redemptive act by stepping down from the throne, while Mare is reaching her final destructive act, Maven's murder.

I have scars of every kind, from Maven’s brand, from wounds not properly healed, from my own lightning. But I am not a ruin. Not yet. (WS chapter 8)

What I mean to say is, the scar is as much of a choice as the destruction of her soul in the name of the greater good, which isn't much of a choice at all (narratively speaking). And the permanence of the brand even when in canon she could simply have it healed is the metaphorical repressentation of her healing journey. The healing journey that barely fucking starts at THE END of War Storm, as we all know from the infamous epilogue.

Anyway, I hope that made sense. Here's the article mentioned above ("Scarred narratives and speaking wounds").

[chateautae]

I for duck's sake need help people.....see, I would be very pleased if anyone of you would just help me out....the thing is, I have been in a relationship for like around 3 years and trust me, he is like the most perfect kinda person I have ever met..but now comes the main issue, he has till now, never ever hinted me about doing anything ( the max. we have went is uk till just a little makeout types, ik spoiling my sex life like this sucks but that's why I am going anonymous and I think some of you might have experienced it ig, don't take me wrong, I mean like uk). The good thing is, we both are understanding and extremely working persons (he works as a employee in a business firm and I am a newbie doctor (kinda just started my practice as a doctor)....and even though I am a doctor and that having sex is like a normal thing because we literally studies everything, I still freak out upon thinking about doing it with him....it's not like I am scared or anything but I just want some uk girl tips upon how to actually do it....reading about it is quite, tbh, okay for me, but then doing it is like, a difficult task....i bet you he knows about everything and that's why he hasn't hinted upon anything but like from the past 1 week, he jas been dropping kinda hints ig.....like I won't go into the details, otherwise I would be hella embarrassed, not that I am not right now, I am literally sitting in the washroom typing this ( don't judge me)....while reading about it, it feels so easy to execute everything but then when doing it in real life is like so much like wierd ig....I mean how do I respond to it.....I am nervous and what not.....as 25yo, I sometimes feel wierd that I can't uk do it......can anyone of you just help me please......like some girl tips.....I searched it on Google too, still I don't have the courage.....amd moreover, my friends circle is so wierd amd plus, I am too shy to ask anyone.....ik asking this in such a way and place is way too inappropriate to be even considered normal....it's not like I am not ready for it, it's just I am quite nervous about how to do it.....tbh, he hasn't forced me even once still remained to be sweet and all but internally we noth know, we might wanna step up.....HELP PLZ.....my mom is way too conservative to even have an open conversation about kisses let alone doing it....

Oh hun, you are completely and tOTALLY allowed to come to this blog for any advice and not feel ashamed. This is an 18+ blog and anyone here would be so glad to help you, something like this is totally normal!! I shall leave my words under the cut, though if anyone else would like to help this lovely anon please do not hesitate to drop off a reply or even something in my inbox! I'll answer right away to help anyone wondering the same thing 💓

Alright hun, first and foremost I am so happy your relationship has been so strong! And I'm glad you're with someone who hasn't pushed you or anything into doing anything sexual yet, I'll tell you from experience that can be extremely daunting and uncomfy so I'm super relieved your man has been sweet!!

In terms of real advice, tbh I'm quite the wrong person to go to. I lost my v-card with my first boyfriend when I was 16, literally we were both inexperienced and even the times we did you know, do the deed it was very clumsy and nobody knew what they were doing, and the second person I've been with was a Kiseok situation (if you read maybe I do, yes Kiseok is based on a real person in my life) so fuck that dude. But maybe my own inexperience can also help you out, here are at least some lady tips I can think of:

1. Make sure you're comfortable. I say comfortable instead of ready because I'm quite the believer in if you wait until the moment you're ready, you'll wait your entire life. So my best advice is to make sure you're comfy with the situation and your partner!!

2. Ensure your partner is someone who cares about you. I know everyone's stories are different, and not everyone has sex with someone they've been with for a long time or even love, one night stands are totally okay and I salute you sister. get that dick!!! But even in situations where you're with a stranger, sex is a very intimate thing, and it would make your experience 1000x better if you can at least tell the person cares about you and your body and your wishes during sex. Everyone deserves to be respected during an intimate act like sex and if you feel you're not being respected, whether it's your body, your wishes, your limits, your choices, do not feel obligated to still go through with this person.

3. You have to be wet. Of course not all sexual encounters happen the same way, and every female gets off on different things or turned on by a variety of actions, but essentially you have to be wet for sex. Most men understand this but a lot also don't, basically you gotta get into that juicy foreplay to get wet my girl. Try making out, maybe if you're sitting down swing a leg over his lap and bam you're straddling him. This position is usually optimal because you gain the opportunity to grind against yo man's crotch and my fucking God, does that shit feel hella nice. It's also highkey ego-boosting feeling how much the guy's getting worked up because literally anytime you grind or move over their crotch it immediately spikes to their dick and you can usually feel them against you. If you're standing, try moving to an area that has a wall and keep grabbing at your man's neck, usually men naturally will indicate you to jump and you'll easily be all up against the wall making out, this gets hella fun too cause being carried like that is so 😩

3.2. Okay cool, we're making out, now it's essentially a game of go with the flow. Men usually take the initiative and begin the escalation of things on their own. Maybe he'll start kissing down your neck, his hands are gonna be somewhere at your waist, maybe inching down to your ass or maybe he's an ass guy and he's already palming at yo cheeks. Regardless, I can confidently say you can sit back and relax, let yourself feel, get into the kissing and grinding and if you love the way he's touching you, make some noise and let him know, don't be afraid to be turned on and goddamn horny, dudes love that shit. You however are also allowed to take the wheel, and guys usually search for the greenlight from girls by sensing their movements and how eager they seem for the go-ahead on anything. If maybe you begin tugging at his clothes, they'll usually think "okay, she's okay with this rn" and so on. This part's sincerely just go with the flow, you don't need to rush and honestly the more foreplay the better for getting your puthy wet. Make sure you're comfy and your partner makes sure you're okay with that they're doing to you.

3.3. Whoop dee doo your man's hands are suddenly going, you know, places. Another case of go with the flow, if you're comfortable with your man wanting to do a lil rubby dubby on your kitty then totally let him, this shit feel's god-like I tell you. Maybe I'm just a sensitive ass whore, who knows but something about feeling a man's hands do what your lady fingers can't just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But essentially from here maybe you wanna reciprocate. Get them pesky pants open and feel your man up. Reach inside those boxers and touch that beast he's hiding inside. Make sure to go nice and slow and your hands aren't rough, men's dick are super sensitive and if you go too hard on at least a dry dick it acc hurts them. Men usually leak pre-cum at their tips so try using some of that to slick up your hand.

3.4. That's handjobbing, now if we're getting into oral, very important things to remember. A) retract your teeth, it's hard and it hurts to do it for a long time but teeth will hurt dudes a lot so suck them in and away from their cocks. B) Hollow your cheeks, men like the tightness of a mouth and that's what really gets them going. C) BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE PLEASE DO NOT JUST STOP BREATHING AND TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY BLOWJOBS ARE ACC VERY FUCKING HARD AND FUCK YOU UP especially for someone like me who has a small mouth, yeah that shit sUCKS but nothing is more beautiful than seeing a man fold under your touch. D) Tease yo man a bit, kitten licks and kisses, dragging your tongue over his slit, maybe a pump and then take him out, slick him up with some saliva maybe, anything you feel like doing go ahead girl, that dick is yours for the time being and I promise he'll love it. E) Deep-throating is really when gets guys going cause they only acc feel shit at their tips, so please deep-throat with caution, and take your time if he's a big one, you can acc really hurt yourself especially if you're constantly deep-throating a really big one. F) Go to town girl, get up and bobbing, go down on him like he can't survive without you, go at your own pace and own it. G) Balls usually go neglected and I promise if you even fondle them or grab at them your man will combust.

3.5. Okay so with actual sex, FIRST OF ALL BE SAFE!!!! USE A FUCKING CONDOM, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THEN DON'T FUCK BUT IF YOU'RE STILL HORNY THEN PLEASE RECIEVE SOME MONEY FROM YO MAN FOR PLAN B!!! IT'S NOT ENTIRELY FOOLPROOF THOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT RISK. You can totally go on birth control too but this has its complications, there are also monthly shots you can take and other contraceptives.

3.6. Okay it's sexy times, this is just gonna have to be a thing for you. Everyone's different and has different comfort levels, maybe you can take someone that’s bigger while some women can't and that's fine. Just make sure when he does go in, you feel okay with it. It will hurt if you’re dry and not wet, like hurt a lOT but if you do feel loads of pain just let your partner know to go slower, and let yourself get used to the feeling of something inside. You can always say stop if it hurts too much, seriously it's normal and that's what I did with my first boyfriend. Hell I fucking kicked my ex off me LMAO and he was so sorry and we just ended everything there, and had actual sex the next time I visited him. From here on I've really got no lady tips, essentially it's up to you what you like and what you'll do, get it on!!!

General Tips:

4. Be you, and be confident. I know sex can be really daunting especially when you consider men usually tend to be more experienced, and maybe you become afraid you won't measure up or be as good as his previous partners or you’re not good at sex, but baby girl it ain't about that. This dude is going to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you, and whether that's his dick speaking for him or his heart, it means he will not be thinking about some other  chick he got it on with a year ago, he will be thinking of you and your pretty mouth and what you're doing, focused on touching your body and thinking he loves the way it feels. The more confident you are, the better. You're sexy and pretty and you are desirable babes, let those noises he makes when you touch him drive your confidence, the way he groans a little when you do something, the way he's tugging your body close to yours cause he wants to feel you, it all means he wants you and that's hot, let it boost your lady ego my love. You're allowed to be shy, I totally understand that, and if your partner really cares about you then they'll easily take your hand and guide you through it. Let them know you're a little nervous, and they'll really try to make things more comfy and easier for you because sex is about both parties, not just one.

5. Orgasming is hard, but it's still achievable. Especially in an open, established relationship, really let your man know what turns you on. Let him feel at your cooch while he's penetrating you and I promise that can usually get you orgasming. Other than that, another huge case of doing what you need to do to get yourself off, and always let your partner know. If you’re really searching for an orgasm in a newer relationship or if you’re too shy to say something, then literally just take your man’s hand and place him over your clit and start rubbing with him, he’ll get the hint and start doing it himself. 

6. Communication is key. This is obvious, but even if it's dirty talk, usually it's still a way to communicate and see if you're okay. You can ask to go slower, faster, softer, harder, stop altogether or entirely wreck your goddamn shit. Your partner should listen and if they don't, get the fuck out of there and leave that man, he don't fucking deserve you at all, especially in situations where you ask to stop or to slow down cause maybe something hurts, if he doesn't listen here then no, he don't deserve shit and LEAVE. Don't be afraid to make noise either or say something, dudes usually love hearing you. If you don’t like something please let your partner know, I’m sure they’re wondering if you do and would love to hear you communicating. 

7. Be clean after you're done woo-hoo-ing. Make sure you're tidy and stuff before putting clothes back on, sex can get messy especially if it's your first time you can bleed. Usually if the dude is a sweetheart enough they'll clean you, which is obviously aftercare uwu.

8. Pee after sex, UTI's are not fun. 

9. Your body may also feel weird or go through changes after you have sex for the first time, but that’s normal. Just you body’s response to feeling something foreign inside you. 

10. Ladies, remembering during sex that you have power, IT’S YOUR BODY!!!! Whether it’s because you’re totally domming or because your man is super duper sweet and will not do anything unless you want it, sex is meant to be fun and for both parties’ enjoyment. It’s not a chore nor is it something you HAVE to do to keep your man around or something, let yourself have fun girl, you deserve it. The flow of sex and any activities as such are usually dictated by you and what you want, so remember you don’t have to go through with something if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter if a dude really badly wants to get his dick wet, this is your body and you are to decide what happens to it. If a man makes you believe otherwise, FUCK THAT DUDE!!!! HE DON’T DESERVE YOU!!! YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND TO BE CARED FOR AS A HUMAN BEING!!

[lukewhitesuns]

Day 5: Touch-Starved

*shows up to the challenge five days late with a really obscure gen dynamic and a loose reading of the prompt*

@loving-fox-hours

tw: child soldiers, what initially looks like a suicide attempt, self-hatred

(AO3)

There's a youngling perched on the roof of the Galactic Museum, and Fox is exhausted.

No one reported this. Fox happened to be walking back to the barracks after a thirty-six hour shift, glancing up at exactly the right moment to spot a child idly dangling their legs over the side of the building, some ten stories up. Which means this is now his problem.

Lucky him.

What's one more cut away at his sanity? He doesn't need sleep; after what he did to Fives, he doesn't deserve it, either.

Still, he seethes as he stalks toward the building.

People refuse to behave on this kriffing planet. Everyone always has to race illegal circuits, or drunkenly brawl with each other, or cause lasting property damage for no other reason than they were bored. On the more excruciating days, there's even some explosions, attempted assassinations, and bounty hunters wreaking havoc. And who can forget the time a giant beast destroyed half of the upper city? Because that's definitely something Fox could prepare for. That was a fun experience.

Finding people where they're not supposed to be is tame by comparison, but it's still a waste of his already limited time. This kriffing kid, when he drags them out of here—

It's nearly nighttime, so the museum is closed, but there are still a few staff members loitering about. He barges in after the door gives easily.

"The roof," he says to the nearest guard. It's meant as an order, but resembles a sigh more than anything else since he no longer has the energy to slip into a commanding voice.

The man stutters a moment, then gathers himself enough to point. Fox is already moving. Too slow; he saw the lift himself. How did the Republic survive without the clones as long as it did?

He presses the button for the roof, and swipes his pass without even glancing at the access screen that pops up. Fifteen seconds later, he's stalking out onto the roof and directly toward the youngling's back with single-minded determination. It's past both their bedtimes, and Fox still has a mountain of paperwork in his office, and his patience was spent at least six hours ago. He's obviously not going to hurt the kid, but he's not past ordering their ass off the roof as rudely as possible.

As he approaches, the kid whips around, eyes widening. Fox does a split-second survey: male, redhead, approximately the age of a six-year-old brother, weighs almost nothing. Another problem: the robes, the braid in his hair, and the lightsaber clipped to his belt. He's a Jedi youngling, meaning Fox's job is now that much harder.

"Listen, I can explain—" a young, high voice begins nervously, once he's almost reached him.

Fox doesn't slow down until he's nearly level with the kid, centimeters away from the ledge, looming over him, arms across his chest. "Get. Up."

The boy stiffens, but doesn't otherwise move. His eyes are glued to where his legs are still kicking out over the edge.

"I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I couldn't stay there!" He bursts out. His voice wobbles at the end, and dread immediately settles heavy in Fox's chest.

Haar'chak, it's going to be one of those.

Why couldn't the kid just be a truant like the rest of them?

Who is he kidding, he should've realized what he was in for the moment he saw the lightsaber.

Resigned to his fate, Fox knows he has to tread very slowly with this. He loosens the intimidating posture and asks with a small sigh, "Where?"

"Th-the temple," he answers, as expected. "I don't—I can't—"

Please don't cry, please don't cry, he really doesn't know what to do with a crying kid and he's so tired right now.

To his guilty relief, after another moment the boy draws in a deep breath and straightens his posture. He glances up at Fox with embarrassment plain on his face, mouth open as though to say something, but then his expression shifts into one of surprise, then curiosity, then hesitance. His stare seems to pierce directly though his armor and trap him there.

Apart from Tano and Offee, who were both older and under arrest at the time, he has no experience with Jedi children. Are they all this strange?

When he speaks again, his voice is unnaturally even with forced calm. Still holding back tears, most likely. "You're a clone."

Fox doesn't see how this relates to dangling himself off a roof at dusk, but if it keeps him calm, there's no harm in answering. "Yes."

He frowns, digesting this, then tilts his head slightly. "So...did you want to go to war?"

The question is said cautiously, but still hits with the force of a gut punch, and is so random that for a long moment all Fox can do is stare. "What?"

"Did you want to go to the war?" he repeats. "Fight for the Republic on the front lines and everything?"

Is he mocking him for being stationed on Coruscant? His tone implies genuine curiosity, but he could be wrong. Either way, Fox has a job to do, and it gives him a helpful delay on such a loaded question.

"Here's the deal. I'll answer your question if you move away from the edge there." He knows there's no chance he'll be able to wrestle a Jedi child away from somewhere if they don't want to move, so he has to be diplomatic about this. As a peace offering, he degrades himself to sitting down on the rooftop a few meters away, despite the protests of his armor, and watches the kid expectantly.

The boy frowns at him, frowns down at the edge, then frowns at him again. "I can catch myself if I fall, you know," he says slowly.

But if he falls and he dies, that's on Fox. He doesn't say that, though. Instead he asks mildly, "Have you ever done it before?"

"Well, no, but I've practiced catching my friends when they fell off the climbing course. It can't be that much different."

Fox does not have time for this. "Sit here. Now."

Another round of staring, and the boy finally sighs and relents. "Fine." He plops down in front of Fox with none of the Jedi's renowned grace. "I'm Cal, by the way."

"Fox."

"That's a nice name," Cal replies, and despite it being the same rote response Fox receives every time he tells a nat-born his name, he's yet again struck by Cal's sincerity when he says it. "I never saw a fox before. Guess now I have." He grins sheepishly at Fox, as though expecting an eye roll behind his bucket; Fox sits there awkwardly, still at a loss of what to do or say, especially when the kid's gone from nearly crying to smiling in under two minutes. And people rarely ever smile at him, so this is disconcerting.

"So you said you'd answer my question..."

Right. That. He did say that, didn't he.

Is he actually going to confess this to a random child? He supposes he has to, since this is somehow important to why Cal was up here in the first place.

Fox chooses his words carefully. "I did want to go to the war. I'm a commander—commander of the Coruscant Guard, now, but my batchmates and I were all born to serve on the front lines, alongside Jedi Generals. It's in my genes. But someone was needed here, too, protecting the home front. My duty is to the Republic above all else, so I serve where I am needed. Which is here."

That's what he convinces himself to keep going, anyway, although lately Fox wonders if any of it was worth it.

Cal's expression turns melancholy again. While Fox was speaking, he tucked his knees under his chin and wrapped his arms around them. "I don't want to go. I'm twelve, and I'm a commander too." Freeing one arm, he gives an sloppy salute as his lips twist in a bitter smile. "Commander Kestis of the 13th Battalion, at your service. I ship out the day after tomorrow."

Fox stares. And stares. And doesn't say anything.

Then he makes a decision. He takes off his bucket. He never takes off his bucket, and says as much to Cal.

"Then why did you—?"

Because there's something poisoning the Galactic Republic, and I can finally admit it to myself, and suddenly I'm suffocating. Children going to war, brothers killing brothers, nothing ever changing. This is not what I was made for. But who can I even tell? What can I even do?

"Because you need to look at my face when I tell you this."

"Okay..." Cal says, bemused.

Fox takes a deep breath and forces himself to meet Cal's eyes unblinkingly, pushing as much gravitas as he can muster into both his voice and his expression. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

His own words twist his stomach into knots. Because Cal still has time. He still has a modicum of freedom left, and Fox realizes he wants the kid to survive, and not become what he's become. Fox is a brother-killer now. He's less than nothing, and still, he works himself to the bone for the duty he swore himself to as a youngling. He's trapped by the war, and he can't escape. He never had that option.

The exact meaning of his words confuse him, too. What is he saying? Is he offering to help Cal escape, if the reason he's up here is because he ran away? Or is it because he wants to prevent another senseless death, so soon after being the cause of one? Cal may be a Jedi, but he's so young. Even the most skilled Jedi masters have fallen in this war, so sending one with barely any experience seems rather like sending someone to be slaughtered.

This isn't what he expected to happen at all on this roof. He's talking to a kid he just met, trying to offer advice when, as Thorn puts it, he can barely hold himself together.

"No, I..." Cal hesitates. "I'm sure if I begged, they wouldn't make me. But I have to. It's my duty to the Republic. Like you said with your job," he adds, gesturing at him vaguely.

That was not what Fox meant. He opens his mouth to object, but Cal's already barreled ahead, speaking so fast the words almost tumble over each other.

"The youngest person they sent 'til now was fourteen, and they had arguments about her all the time—though Jedi arguments are more like 'who can be more passive-aggressive' competitions. They really don't want to send us, but there are so few of us left...it was just a calculation, I guess. Even though I'm young, I'm really good. That isn't even me trying to be mean to my crèchemates or anything, they're not bad Jedi at all, it's just that I've always had more of a grasp on the Force than some people. And I'm psychometric, which is when I can touch something and see things that have happened with it in the past."

"Like Vos." Fox scowls at the mere thought of him. He and this kid couldn't be any more different.

Cal narrows his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, like him, although he's not my master...anyway, I guess I'm saying...sending me is a better choice to end the war faster. The sooner we end the war, the sooner we can go back to being actual peacekeepers. At least that last part's what Caleb says. He's also going the day after tomorrow." He sighs and stares at his hands. "But I still don't want to go, even if I have to. I freaked out this afternoon and had to go somewhere a lot quieter to think. Which is why you found me here."

"Makes sense," Fox says, processing. That sounds like a reasonable reaction for a scared kid, actually. "You still plan to go, then?"

Cal hesitates, then nods. Fox's heart sinks, but he doesn't know what more to say. His mind's still reeling; he just learned more about the Jedi Order in a quarter hour than he ever learned about the Senate in two and a half years, and he has no idea what to do with the information.

"Well, you'll need to be well-rested then," Fox says after another moment, and giving exaggerated glance to the sky.

Night has fallen, and the sky is completely black with the pollution blanketing the stars. The buildings provide enough light to see, but sometimes Fox does wonder what the center of the galaxy looks like from the surface of a planet with an unencumbered view. If it's any different from the sparse pinpricks he saw from Kamino the few days there wasn't a torrential rainstorm.

He puts his bucket back on, stands, and beckons. "Coruscant's its own war zone sometimes, and trust me, speaking from experience, you'll need every minute you can get. Let's go. I'm legally obligated to return you to the temple."

Cal groans, but thankfully, stands and follows after Fox. “I have been here a long time, I guess. Honestly, I'm surprised Master Tapal hasn't sent after me. Maybe he just thinks I've been meditating in the 'Fountains. That's what we call the Room of a Thousand Fountains."

Since the museum lies just outside the Senate District, the walk is short. If Cal wanted to hide, he didn't do a very good job. Cal chatters away the entire time about everything but the war, clearly trying to keep his mind off it as long as he can. Fox indulges him, although it's not like he can get a word in edgewide regardless.

They're at the steps of the temple when Cal abruptly stops dead in his tracks.

"Cal?"

A questioning look to his side—stars, the kid barely reaches his waist—Cal appears lost in thought.

He's so busy trying to figure out what happened that at first he doesn't even process that the blur that crashes into him with superhuman speed a second later is Cal. When he does, he freezes, glancing down at the boy, who has wrapped both of his arms around his armor and is—inexplicably, given how small he is—squeezing hard enough that Fox can feel the warmth even through the plastoid. Either it's Jedi thing, or else Fox has finally, officially lost his mind.

Gently, he rests one hand on Cal's back to acknowledge the hug. He's too nervous to do anything more, partly because he doesn't want to...break him or anything, and partly because if he's too stunned to move.

When was the last time he was touched in a way that wasn't malicious? Months since he'd had a hug from his closer brothers because their sleep schedules hardly coincided anymore, and never, by a nat-born, because why would anyone ever hug a clone?

He'd almost forgotten what it feels like.

He's doesn't deserve it.

"Thanks," Cal mumbles, face pressed half into his armor.

"What for?" Because he has no idea. "I didn't do anything."

Cal pulls back and beams up at him. "Yes you did. You reminded me I still have a choice."

Even if he picked the choice he doesn't want? Even if he barely said anything to him? Why does he deserve a hug from a kid that just met him, who would probably hate him if he knew what he's done?

"And you were really nice and didn't make me feel dumb or anything," he continues, oblivious to the turmoil in Fox's head.

Children are kind without reason, and to people who don't deserve it, but Fox realizes he's still glad that this strange kid thought he was worth a hug.

Cal starts to move away, waving a little at him. "Bye, Fox. Next time I'm on Coruscant for leave I'll come say hi."

"Bye, Cal."

He turns around again a few steps up. "And don't worry, I didn't get any memories off the armor. Big parts of clothes usually count as a part of the person, for some reason, and people aren't objects."

Fox watches his form disappear into the temple and tries to convince himself he did everything he could. That Cal will actually survive to make it back to Coruscant. He hopes he will, but he knows as well as anyone that there's no guarantees. For all he knows, this is the first and last time he'll ever see him.

The next morning, after a miraculously uninterrupted sleep, Fox wakes with a newfound determination. The guilt remains, but it's muted. No longer consuming his entire existence. Now he has a plan.

He has to take his own advice. He may not have been given a choice to begin with, but now he has one because of Fives. Ignore the warnings, or listen. He's a person, not an object, and he shouldn't have something in his brain tagging him like glorified inventory.

The chip is coming out.

[saltandstranger]

WHEN CHASING LIONS: BE BOLD, NEVER SETTLE, DARE TO BELIEVE

So, here we are at the close of the 1st half of the year. And it's with twice as much hope & anticipation than at the start of the year that I look forward to what's ahead for the remainder of 2021.

I want take you to this incredible story in the Bible about courage, never settling, and about the relentless pursuit of the dreams that God has placed in your heart.

And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was a valiant man of Kabzeel, a doer of great deeds. He struck down two lion-like men. He also went down and struck down a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen. And he struck down an Egyptian, a man of great stature, five cubits tall. The Egyptian had in his hand a spear like a weaver’s beam, but Benaiah went down to him with a staff and snatched the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear. These things did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada and won a name beside the three mighty men. He was renowned among the thirty, but he did not attain to the three. And David set him over his bodyguard. -1 Chronicles 11:22‭-‬25 ESV

I needed to pause when I first came across this passage in order to process it because clearly these are no small feats.

So this Mr. Benaiah, son of Jehoaida, from Kabzeel is not only a hero-conqueror, he's also a lion-slayer and a giant slaughterer. No wonder why he was captain of King David's bodyguard.

I wanna zero in on one of Beniah's three recorded mighty deeds: Benaiah slew a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen (1 Chron. 11:22)

Read it while imagining the scene unfold before your eyes. This is intense!!!

And this is such a special teaching moment because here we learn that while there are times when God delivers us from lions (like Daniel in the den with the lions), there are also times God gives us the strength and courage to slay them.

Now this happened during the most dire of circumstances when the ground was slippery and he could have easily lost his footing. Benaiah slew a lion in a pit. IN A PIT. In a pit. He was up against the worst possible beast, in the worst possible circumstance, and the worst possible place. And yet, he chased and slew that lion down the pit.

When's a good day to go kill a lion? There's none! I'd rather not face one thank you very much. But if a lion does come at you seemingly out of the blue, then let me ask you is there a better time other than TODAY to kill it?

You can't keep putting off the things that you know you need to do today. There are just times in your life when you've got to make up your mind and determine that it's NOW or NEVER.

I want to reference another story in Joshua 17 when the Israelites were being given their portion of land. The children of Manasseh complained that the land allotted to them had Canaanites living there.

And it happened, when the children of Israel grew strong, that they put the Canaanites to forced labor, but did not utterly drive them out.  -Joshua 17:13 NKJV

How many of us have grown strong through the trials and the fire, but still allow Canaanites to dwell in our land even when God's clear instruction is to drive them out completely? We can't keep sweeping things under the rug. We can't be partial with our obedience. We can't NOT slay that lion.

Eventually, you will have to run towards the very thing that you're afraid to confront, grab it by the throat, and face it head-on to finally and fully overcome it.

We can't keep waiting for the perfect circumstances before we move. If Benaiah waited for it to stop snowing, he would have been dinner. If he had been content to leave the lion in the pit, who knew if it would come after him? If there's one thing we should NEVER do this 2nd half of the year, or EVER- it's to settle for less.

Don't run away. Don't shy away from uncomfortable situations.

Brave confrontation even in the midst of inconvenience will often times set you up for great victories.

It's not new to us that the sequence of events the past year and a half have unfolded a certain way and so we found ourselves in this pit or cave. Yes we go through the coping or healing process. Yes we indeed had to pivot or adjust. But that doesn't mean we should settle. You've got to stop allowing the circumstances or past hurts, our shame, or our fears dictate our future or stop you from going after what God has for you! We need to make that choice to chase down the lions of impossibilities and fears into the pit and slay it right there.

What is it that you have your eyes on? What's your dream? What's the prayer of your heart that makes you go shikarababaseteyy? What has God been instructing you to do in this season?

I know "Today" looks different for each of us.  And so when I say don't put it off "today", what I mean os do not quench your spirit. If the instruction is to pray, don't put if off. If your dream is to buy a house, start looking for listings and saving up diligently. If you want to write a book, stop spending meaningless time on social media and just start writing. Don't be afraid to start small. Don't despise the days of small beginnings. It always starts with a seed anyway.

When I went through the entire ordeal last year with my heart and my health in the midst of the pandemic, I can't count how many times I wanted to quit being in the ministry because I felt so beat up. But what God did was make it all the more clearer to me where He wants to take me. And so to you who are reading this, I pray that your heart for God and His will for your life would be amplified all the more even in the midst of a day when snow is falling and you feel like you're up against a lion in a pit.

It takes supernatural courage I'll tell you that. But what's great is that courage and tenacity during times of relentless pursuit aren't personality-based. They are dependent on who God has called you to be. You see, the meaning of Benaiah's name is GOD BUILDS, and the meaning of his dad's name Jehoaida means GOD KNOWS. God loves you and KNOWS His plans for you and He KNOWS exactly where to take you. Trust that there is a purpose and a season for every activity under heaven.

God doesn't do things for nothing. He is always intentional with you. God is BUILDING you for something more than what you can ask, think, dream, or even imagine. So to you- hero conqueror, lion slayer, and giant slaughterer- be brave, never settle, and dare to believe.

-K 🌊

(Photo courtesy: @bravoprince on Unsplash)

[sonicasura]

Sonic May Cry

Today is Groundhog Day and the entire internet is going into a huge 'Into the ___Verse!' shtick. Basically an Into the Spiderverse based trope where alternate universes cross into one another specifically the characters. This story came from a recent What If situation involving Sonic the Hedgehog that was stewing in my brain yesterday.

And taking alternate universes thing, I delved in deeper with an another alternate universe involving the original Devil May Cry. Mix them both together and I got this.

Time is a very fragile thing and the wrong move can break it. Or: Classic Sonic/Kid Sonic gets blasted into the Devil May Cry universe and causes some big changes.

"Sonic! Run! The rift is closing! If you don't get out of there, you'll be lost in time and space forever! No! Don't do it! Don't leave me! Please! Sonic!!!"

Time was a very precious thing to have. It should never be taken for granted and should never be toyed with. The mechanized menace called the Time Eater had done more damage than either Robotniks could've estimated. The rifts were closing even faster than they should. Someone was going to be left behind with no choice. His best friend Tails wasn't going to be that person if he could help it. His best buddy would be fine without him. For this was his end not Tails. The end of Sonic The Hedgehog. And he welcomed it with open arms.

Great sacrifice comes with a greater reward. Fix their broken hearts, brave little warrior. Heal the wounded hearts of the Sons of Sparda, Sonic the Hedgehog. Right now, they need you the most.

Mitis Forest on the outskirts of Fortuna, a light shone brightly in an open flowerbed. The soft daffodils, petunias and dandelions were greeted by the weight of a small light blue furred hedgehog. The little beast barely reaching 2 ft in height with both face and stomach round with baby fat showing he was quite young. White gloves and red running shoes were the only clothing worn. His muzzle was light peach along with the center of his stomach.

Quills slightly long just like the ones on his back and stubby little tail. Black pupil like eyes slowly opened to be greeted with a vast starry night sky. 'Huh?' Thought Sonic the Hedgehog as he took in his surroundings. He was alive yet… 'What happened? I should be dead.' Sonic thought for a moment. 'This isn't my world that's for sure. And why does my back feel stiff?' The hedgehog then he picked himself off the ground and looked at what he was previously lying on.

Shock became evident as eyes widened when they laid on 7 gray lifeless stones amongst the grass. They looked to be cut into perfect diamond shapes but to Sonic these gemstones were far more precious. 'The Chaos Emeralds?! Why are the Chaos Emeralds here? No better question, why do they look so dead?' He thought picking up one of the lifeless emeralds. It felt really cold to the touch but the hedgehog could feel a tiny bit of energy in the stone.

'Could the emeralds have saved me? No… It did something else. Before I blacked out I thought I heard something. I also feel different too. I feel the same but I can't shake the nagging feeling that something about my body had changed.' He thought before looking at the lights coming from up ahead. He picked up the stones before hiding them in his quills. It was sorta weird on how the Emeralds could hide themselves in his fur like they weren't there but he never bothered about the details.

Sonic walked a bit closer up the hill to see the lights were coming from a large city. What struck him as odd were the large demon statues scattered about the whole place. 'Ain't getting any answers standing here. That city looks like a good place to find out where I am.' With a goal set in mind, he disappeared into a streak of blue as he ran over to the city at supersonic speed.

This city was very odd and quite creepy to the blue blur. Everyone was wearing hoods over their heads, there were armed soldiers about and the place seemed...tense almost ominous. It was the kind of feeling he got running into Robotnik's base or places like Chemical Plant Zone. That something nasty was brewing on the surface. A feeling that no town or city should have.

Speeding past everyone had earned a very unexpected cry of sorts. "Demon! There's a demon!" Demons? This was even stranger to him than meeting his older counterpart that could TALK. His voice box was stunted so he couldn't actually talk but the problem would resolve himself once he turned 10 years old. A few years didn't look so bad though it'll suck if no one can read his charades well.

A tiny hand grabbed his nose surprising the little hedgehog that he nearly crashed into a dumpster when he skidded to a halt. Plucking the nose grabber wasn't as shocking as finding out who had done the deed. A little human baby with white hair and blue eyes had managed to hitch a ride on him. A baby boy in a blue onesie had hitchhiked a ride on the FASTEST thing alive.

'#$#!@ How the heck did you get on me?! You must have insane reflexes to grab me in mid-run!' Sonic thought looking at the baby. His brain halted upon spotting what was really odd about the infant. His right arm was blue with little red scales and had tiny blue claws! It was even glowing light blue through the cracks of each scale! 'Nevermind. You ain't no normal baby because human babies don't have an arm like that.' He thought with a deadpanned expression.

The baby merely babbling as he tried to grab Sonic's nose again though Sonic pulling the baby away from his prize. The child was giggling and all happy before he immediately began to cry strangely. The hedgehog easily catching onto the sound of what he could guess were soldiers behind him yet they were talking about a 'project Nero'. Sonic immediately looking at the baby or Nero in his hands and couldn't help the rage bubbling inside him. He pushed it down before cradling the child in his arms and breaking into a sprint.

'No way those jerks are getting ya little buddy! They're insane to think babies are some kind of science fair project! Time to ditch this crazy island!' Sonic thought as he began to steadily speed up. He needed enough speed to run across ocean surface and he didn't want to accelerate too quickly or he would end up hurting Nero. It was a good thing to know that city was an actual island so he had many places to go from there.

The hedgehog glimpsing a map about a port town that was the closest to Fortuna or the island he was on. A smile grew on his face as he saw what looked like a pier leading straight towards the wide open blue. Without hesitation, Sonic sped up further before using the pier as a ramp. Both hedgehog and baby flying high into the air as a blue streak of light amongst the starry sky.

Nero giggling happily at the sight before him and the rush of wind going by his form. 'Glad you like the wind as much as I do. Have zero clue on caring for a baby but I could find some way to take care of ya.' He thought with a smile before looking down to see they were getting closer to the water. Being quick he immediately began to run after touching the top gliding across the dark blue surface.

Finding land once more was a good feeling considering he had been running for quite a bit. Truth was that the hedgehog wasn't fully recovered after waking up in this new world. The effects were beginning to show as fatigue was starting to slowly wash over him. He rather not drown with a baby in his arms. Sonic sped up a bit more so he can at least reach the beach.

He could rest there with Nero for the night before picking up his search for answers tomorrow. The hedgehog quickly slowed down as he skidded off the water and into the soft beach sand though not without tumbling up a bit at the end. Seaweed had gotten tangled around his legs leading the blue blur to take a header though taking the brunt of the impact so Nero wouldn't.

Something hard hitting his head was the last thing he felt before falling to his side and vision going black. Yet for a short second, he felt saw something red and blue coming closer to him. Everything was whispers leading to silence.

"Are you sure that woman wasn't hallucinating on what she saw? Humans tend to easily be mislead." A cold male voice said with irritation. Two twin males with snow white hair and pale skin walked across the beach shores sand. One whose hair was slicked back, eyes verdant, dressed in black shirt, long blue coat embroidered in gold and blue katana being the only difference to his twin.

The other had his hair down, bright blue eyes and wore no shirt but a black shirt, red coat, and had a giant black broadsword on his back yet walked easily as if the blade weighed nothing. "Lady swore on her own mother about what she saw Verge. Something was travelling across the ocean. A blue blur faster than even you! She said it was heading towards this very beach." The male in red fired back.

"My name is Vergil. You know that so use it foolish brother. I don't know why you took her words or judgment to account so quickly Dante." Vergil growled back at his twin. "Says the guy who raised a giant tower in the middle of the city." Vergil was ready to stab his twin when a streak of blue grabbed their attention. It was coming from over the distance as it glided upon the watery surface.

It slowed down enough for both twins to see what it actually was: a small blue hedgehog in red running shoes. They didn't question the absurdity upon noticing the little guy tripping before rolling into a rock head first knocking the fella unconscious. The brothers running to inspect the injured animal who was nearly balled up into a perfect sphere.

"A demon nestling? No, the little guy doesn't feel like it yet he does have some odd energy. Yet there's something demonic on him." Dante spoke loosening the hedgehog's balled up form to uncover a sleeping Nero cuddled into the hedgehog's fur and stomach. Vergil's eyes widened upon the baby's demonic arm and the energy flowing from it. 

Dante quickly catching onto who the baby actually was. An amused yet heartfelt grin growing on his face at the very conclusion he came to on Nero's identity. "Holy shit. The little fuzzball must have took all the impact so this little fella wouldn't. Never suspected ya to be the first to get laid without protection." Dante quipped only to earn a snarl from his brother.

Verdant eyes soften upon the sight of the infant before looking at the hedgehog that shielded his child from harm. 'The little furball is a mere nestling in age yet it's unfathomable for him to have that type of speed. If trained properly, this young creature will be a powerful force to be reckoned with. A worthy comrade and general." Vergil's devil hissed within the depths of his mind. Neither of them weren't blind to the massive potential the little hedgehog had.

"Vergil! Earth to Vergil!" Had snapped the young man out of his thoughts. He realized that he was cradling both his child AND the hedgehog in his arms. "Looks like someone's demonic maternal instincts decided to kick in. You snatched both the tykes and growled at me." Dante joked with a mischievous grin on his face. Vergil secured the two children into his left arm before pulling out his sword, the Yamato.

He brought the blade slicing a rift in the center of time and space revealing the interior of a shabby shop. He sheathed his sword while a blue spectral one stabbed into his laughing brother's chest. Dante recoiled from the sudden weight yet was still laughing as he followed his brother into the rift. He'll clean up the blood later. Teasing 'Mama Vergil' was more important.

After all, it isn't everyday that a little hedgehog who can run at supersonic speed across the ocean before crashing onto the beach with your older twin brother's baby with him. Or said brother instantly going into papa devil mode and growling at you for even trying to help take care of the unconscious tykes.

It was hilarious on how quick Vergil's personality just swapped because of his primal maternal instincts. The little hedgehog had a nasty bruise and cut on his head from hitting stone at how fast he was going earlier. Vergil threatening to stab his brother if Dante didn't get any bandages to wrap around the injury or any baby products for his son Nero which was the name on the tyke's onesie.

Yet, when Dante came back to seven lifeless stones on the counter of his desk as Vergil sat on the couch with a sleeping Nero nestled into a long silver black tail fast asleep coming from said brother's spine. The little hedgehog was on Vergil's lap while the older brother applied some ointment to the little guy's injury. The hedgehog wincing from the sting but not fighting back or even screaming in pain. "Looks like Sonic is quite the trooper. Despite being conked out, he ain't even letting out a whimper." Vergil gave his brother an odd look.

"Sonic?" The oldest asked in pure confusion. "Got to call him something until he wakes up. Since he was running across the ocean at Mach 1 speed, I thought the name Sonic suited the little guy. He must have some insane pain tolerance though. A bump to the head with your crappy homemade medicine would have me howling." Dante quipped as he handed the medical tape and bandages to his now growling brother.

"By the way, why are there a hunk of rocks on my desk?" The younger male pointed out casually picking up one of the stones. His eyes widened a bit upon detecting the small bit of peculiar energy hidden deep inside the stone. "It was on 'Sonic'. Hidden amongst his fur and quills when I went to inspect for any other injuries despite the absurdity. There is or was some intense power within all 7 of the stones. Something must have drained them dry except for a miniscule amount." Vergil explained giving his brother a serious look.

"Another mystery added about our fuzzy little guest until he wakes up. Glad you still follow the rules that I've set up after the 'recent' incident. 'No hoarding or using any items of potential magic or otherworldly power without Dante's knowledge.'" Dante joked before getting stabbed with another spectral sword in the stomach. The youngest twin had locked the jewels into a lockbox before stuffing them away. After treating both children, Vergil retired to his room upstairs.

Laid both Nero and Sonic down onto his bed before curling his warm body around them followed by his blanket. His demonic nature giving him the incentive to have both in his 'nest' and to keep watch of his 'young'. The thought had him let out an amused snort. Vergil rested his eyes and arms holding both kids near his chest before drifting off to sleep. It was the first night in years that his dreams weren't plagued by gruesome nightmares.

That's it! Kid Sonic basically babynapped Nero from Fortuna, ran across the ocean all the way over to the beach in Capulet before accidentally knocking himself out.

Sonic is like 5 years at the time during the events of Generations. This takes place after the events of Devil May Cry 3 but Dante didn't let Vergil fall into hell. Vergil is under 'Dante' arrest hence that rule until he can be trusted.

He isn't as distant since the events in later games didn't happen so expect this Vergil be a bit softer.

Plus neither of the brothers are blind to the potential our blue blur has and Vergil is going to take the initiative quicker than Dante. This Sonic is going to be OP as hell.

Until next time folks! Jambuhbye!

[goddessofthundathighs]

Happy early birthday to my twin @panthergoddessbast! Always remember that I love you immensely! 😘

—————————————

VI. THREE-HEADED MONSTER

The sexual tension on the ride back to O'Shea's house was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Erik could feel the way her eyes bore into the side of his face, her stare unrelenting. She wanted more, but he still didn't think she deserved it. She was gonna have to work for the dick, no matter how many times her hand brushed against his hardening third leg.

"What are you doing, Ms. Powell?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the road.

"I was a good girl at dinner. I think I deserve a treat."

"You got one in the bathroom, don't be greedy Princess." This made Shea pout, but she was determined to make him break.

"Please Daddy?" she tried again, sliding her perfectly manicured coffin nail up his thigh.

"O'Shea, I said no," he scolded firmly causing her to recoil slightly.

"No?" she inquired, her eyebrow raised in confusion. Being the spoiled Daddy's girl she was, no wasn't a word she was used to hearing. Erik noticed her change in demeanor and decided to exploit the situation.

"Yes, I said no, Bianca. Any other questions?" She huffed loudly, turning her body back to face the windshield.

"First of all, I'm an adult and you will address me as such. You're going to give in eventually. That tent in ya pants will need to be handled somehow."

"I have Skylar for that," he added just to antagonize her further.

"Nice try, but Skylar is a lesbian."

"Skylar is just like you, she doesn't give a fuck who eats her pussy, I'm just the only man she lets do it," he replied with a shit-eating grin. O'Shea remained silent the rest of the ride to her place, not even bothering to give him a look back as she walked up to her door and into the house. He couldn't exactly explain why, but he loved getting her riled up the way he had. He loved seeing the fire in her eyes when she was angry at him. It made his dick even harder and the dormant beast within him began to come to life.

Let me have a taste, the beast growled.

"Soon, big fella. Soon," he told himself. Little did O'Shea know he had his own Bennie, and Killmonger was an expert brat tamer.

--

"Why in the fuck would you tell her that? She should've punched your ass," Skylar fussed from her seat behind Erik's desk. She was on the computer, her long nails tittering away on the keyboard as she worked on an informative pamphlet for her own clients.

"The three major components of the cognitive-behavioral approach are: (a) replacement of sexual anxiety with sexual comfort; (b) adopting positive sexual attitudes and learning sexual skills; and (c) a program of individually designed sexual exercises to be done between therapy sessions. The goal of this therapy is to develop a comfortable, functional, and satisfying sexual style... How does that sound," she asked aloud.

"Like you copied and pasted it from a generic article but it serves its purpose and describes what we do. I might just change the name of the practice to mine and steal your pamphlets."

"I don't think so," Skylar mumbled printing multiple pamphlets before ejecting her drive.

"You couldn't do that in your office?" Erik teased watching her lips purse in indignation.

"I could've but I was already here," she replied, taking a sip from her caramel macchiato. "So how are things going with you and Shea?"

"Oh the usual, however, I think we're making progress with her attitude. She's starting to learn that acting out and misbehaving gets her nothing but blue balls."

"I don't think women can get blue balls, but go off I guess."

"Shut up you know what I meant, nigga," he replied, blowing the wrapper of his straw in her direction. The pair shared a laugh before Erik grabbed his leather notebook from the desk drawer.

"I need help coming up with the next method I want to try with her. She's the ideal candidate for experimental therapies. We can really take this thing as far as it goes with her. Hypnotherapy was successful, I've taken thorough notes on that session after watching the footage a few times. And the toy. The toy did exactly what it was designed to do. However, it's not just toys and hypnotism. I've found that engaging her in non-sexual ways are just as effective to bring out her little personalities.

"Oh, so you met them already." Sky leaned forward interested in where the conversation was headed.

"I've tapped into her Little behavior and experimented with some of her kinks. Buttercup is the Little and she appears whenever she feels that I'm upset with her. There are layers to that psychologically that I'd like to examine."

"Hmm," Skylar nodded intrigued.

"Bianca is the brat you and I are used to."

"Too used to it." Skylar's eyes roll.

"She's obviously triggered by the word 'No' and tends to act out when she doesn't get her way. She's also fairly easy to contain... Bennie-"

"You don't need to tell me about Bennie, I work in a sex shop. Bennie comes to work every day."

"I'm kinda stuck now... I have all of this leeway yet I can't decide which method to use next. When I look at her I see endless possibilities. Since you know her, what do you suggest?"

"How about you do some type of exercise in which you bring all of her little personalities to the surface? Get her high."

"Seriously? That's it?"

"Yeah. You'd be amazed at what you'll learn from her when she's under the influence." Erik rubbed his chin as he pondered the thought.

"But you know how I get when I'm high, Sky," he said, sending a sly grin her way.

"Boy get your slick ass away from me. Save the bedroom eyes for O'Shea, thanks."

"On some serious shit though, how do I go about asking her to the crib? That violates all types of rules and crosses all types of barriers."

"Well technically it doesn't because it's possible to file it under intensive in-home services," she chuckled.

"Sky..."

"Okay, seriously working with the client in their home is not out of the ordinary. Don't make this weird."

"Aight, so you think we should do this at her crib since I've already been there before?"

"Yes. Her home is easier to justify on paper since it's familiar territory and she'll be more relaxed in her own space versus yours."

"Yo smart ass! That's why I keep you around," he said kissing her forehead repeatedly.

"I thought it was because I rolled the best weed but both compliments will do."

"You know I love you girl. That reminds me, you still got that dispensary connect in LA?"

"Maybe, why? You tryna get some specialty shit?"

"Yes, ma'am. Something that will ease her mind and body and allow her to open up to me."

"I know just the thing. It's called Green Goddess."

"Ooh, sounds exotic. I need two ounces."

"$2500."

"You know my account info. Get it for me and bring it by. Oooh, bring some In & Out too. And Cold Stones."

"Nigga is O'Shea the female in this situation or you?"

"Hush woman and do what I say," he said with a sharp smack to her ass.

"Yes Daddy," she teased in a soft, Princess-like voice.

"Aye chill out, it's been a minute." Skylar's soft giggle rang throughout the hallway as she walked towards the entrance. He thought for a minute before typing a quick text to O'Shea.

Busy tonight?

Nah why?

Netflix and chill at your crib? I'll bring the bud and food.

You had me at bud. See you at 7.

"Spoiled ass," he chuckled as he put his phone away.

The rest of the work day went by smoothly and soon it was time to head to his patient's house. As usual, Skylar came through with the bud he requested and both his and Shea's favorite meals from In & Out and ice cream from Cold Stones.

"At this point, you owe me your life," Sky fussed from her desk. "Traffic was hell. There was an accident, a four-car pileup." She was working late due to Erik and his needy ways so she opted to facetime him as he made his way to O'Shea's house to make her frustrations known.

"I knew it would be something that's why I knew I wouldn't have the time or patience. But you know I always got you, ma. If all else fails, I'm marrying you."

"Choke on rocks," she pouted. "Always using me for the shit you don't wanna do. I'm getting a new best friend, one that respects how great I am and loves me for me."

"If it's a dude, I'ma kill him. Killmonger don't share."

"I ain't Killmonger's bitch," she countered. "And murder is very much so illegal. This ain't the Navy." He smiled, revealing his bottom row of gold. He cleared his throat before dropping his voice several octaves.

"You sure about that, ma?"

"Oh no, put the demon away."

"Nah, you said you were replacing us. You sure you wanna do that?"

"Unlike O'Shea, I can do what I want, but no sweetheart, I'd never replace you."

"Pinky promise and swear on Crip."

"On Crip, I'd never replace you and you know we don't lie on the hood."

"Aight we good. I'll call you later to let you know how things go." The pair shared their goodbyes and Erik exited his vehicle.

"You're early," O'Shea noted as she stepped back to let him in. The clock on the microwave read 5:30.

"Work was light and I figured I'd just go ahead and come over. Problem?"

"No. Is that Cold Stones?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Yes it is and no you can't have it."

"B-But why?" she pouted.

"Later, Bianca."

"How many times must I remind you that I am an adult?"

"Barely," he regarded with a smirk as he made his way to her kitchen. She followed him the whole way, pouting all the while as he pulled everything out of the bags.

"Fix ya face or you won't get any at all."

"That's not fair!" she pouted harder, folding her arms over her chest.

"Life isn't fair, Lil' Mama."

"This is some bullshit," she fussed as she walked to the couch.

"Bet. I'll keep this sweet cream and oreo shit to myself," he teased, noticing how her mouth dropped in shock. Erik's grin only widened as he walked over to the couch with their food and drinks.

"So what we watching, Bianca Boo?" he asked, reaching for the remote.

"First of all, my name is O'Shea."

"You're acting like a brat so your name is Bianca, now answer my question."

"Can we watch Hercules?"

"Fuckin' child," he mumbled as he pressed play on the movie. The couple ate, sang, and smoked as they breezed through their little Disney movie marathon. From Hercules to Mulan to The Emperor's New Groove they relived their childhoods while the Green Goddess indica worked its magic to mellow them both out and allow them to talk and bond on a more personal level. Several hours into the Disney and chill session, O'Shea figured she'd try her luck again. She noted how much more mellow Erik was when he was under the influence, using this opportunity to fully appreciate how good he looked dressed down. The charcoal gray turtleneck clung to his muscles effortlessly, barely covering the Patek Phillipe watch on his left wrist. His black slacks fit him well, as though they were tailor-made just for him. Her eyes remained glued to the bulge in his pants as he sat with his legs spread wide on the couch. O'Shea fought hard to keep herself from staring, but of course, Erik noticed. He had been watching her watch him for the last 20 minutes and the beast within him noticed too.

"You gone suck or just stare at it?" Killmonger growled, startling O'Shea from her shameless eyefucking. The deep timbre of his voice had her quaking and before he could change his mind, she dropped down to her knees in front of him, seizing her moment to strike him down to a base level of weakness. Surely he could not withstand her oral talent no matter what contenders he'd faced before. Skylar was a master of oral sex when it came to women, but O'Shea was the oracle when it came to men. She looked up at him innocently as she took him into her mouth, lightly teasing his tip with gentle licks before finally taking as much of him as she could down her throat. Though she was cursed with a gag reflex, she was still a master at her craft and the way he was moaning above her proved that she hadn't lost her touch. His stout, thick fingers found their way into her curly mane, lightly gripping her tresses to help guide her head up and down his shaft.

"Just like that, Shea. Grip that shit, stroke what you can't fit in that wet ass mouth," he encouraged. O'Shea moaned around his shaft, using his praises as encouragement to show out on the dick. She wasn't sure when she'd get him this loose again and wanted to make sure this experience was memorable. Just as she was finding her groove, he made the most awful sound above her.

"Ah, shit! What the fuck?!"

"Wait, stop moving!"

"That shit hurt, what the fuck did you just do to me?" In all of the 5 years that O'Shea had had her braces, never once had they gotten caught on anyone. Leave it to Erik Stevens to be the unlucky contender.

"I-I'm sorry, that's never happened before," she said fighting back her laughter. He was being more dramatic than the situation really called for.

"Oh, that shit's funny to you? I'm fucking bleeding."

"You're not, but ok," she said standing from her position on the floor.

"Man move," he fussed, rushing to the bathroom to assess the damages.

20 minutes. 20 whole minutes was how long he left her to her own psyche while he calmed down. He knew she didn't mean to do it, but the fact that she laughed is what really pissed him off. Once he composed himself, he walked out to see her back on the couch with her head down towards the floor. He didn't speak to her, only went to the kitchen to throw away the trash and grab his keys.

"So are you going to leave and not speak to me? I told you it was an accident."

"I know, Buttercup and I'm not upset. I just think it's a good idea to end this session where it is. I'll have Harper contact you about your next appointment. Have a good night." With that and a kiss to the back of her hand, he walked outside and back to his car, leaving O'Shea a confused, sad mess. She didn't do well with people being mad at her, especially at this point in her life when her little personalities were fully functioning entities. The buzz of her phone brought her out of her psyche.

"Daddy's sorry for the way he left you, Buttercup. I meant what I said about not being angry at what happened, but what really pissed me off is the fact that you thought it was funny."

"But you laugh at my pain all the time," she replied meekly, curling up into a ball on the couch.

"I don't laugh at your pain, I laugh at the fact that you think you run shit. How about this, let's meet somewhere and talk about it."

"Where?"

"Cold Stones."

"But I have ice cream in the freezer."

"Since when have you turned down more?"

"Touché. Give me 10 minutes." She quickly dressed, happy that he wasn't upset and that he still wanted to continue their therapy and build their potential relationship. Though he was indeed her therapist, she felt comfortable with him. More comfortable than she had felt with anyone in a long time and if she were being honest, it scared her. She hated how vulnerable she was around him having been so guarded for most of her life, yet she liked that she could be her true self without fear of judgment and ridicule for her behavior. The benefits of having him as her therapist outweighed her fears. He got her on a level that no one else had before, not even Sky.

Excitedly, she met him in the air-conditioned shop finding him with ice cream in hand. On her approach, he rested his palm atop her head as if to say welcome.

"So now I'm a dog?"

"Nah, you just small. Have a seat, baby girl." She sat down beside him and began eating the cold sugary concoction of sweet cream, chocolately brownie chunks, crumbled graham crackers and walnuts all drizzled with thick caramel. She bounced happily in her seat as the divine mixture set her tastebuds ablaze. This was one of her all-time favorite combinations and she was glad he'd remembered it to the smallest detail. He smiled as he watched her smiling and bouncing in her element, happy that she was happy. She was eating so fast that she dripped ice cream onto her chin and brand new royal purple Disney spirit jersey. She pouted, but he merely grabbed a napkin and cleaned her mess.

"Why the long face, Buttercup? I thought a messy little girl was a happy little girl."

"Sky just bought this for me, though. I didn't want to get it dirty. There's even a stain on Mickey." She turned her body slightly to show him the smudged caramel on the sparkly D emblem.

"Well that won't do, will it? You're welcome to take it off. You wouldn't want to spill again."

"But I'm not wearing another shirt," she pouted further.

"Less material to worry about. You should enjoy your ice cream freely. Do remove the shirt, Buttercup.. for your own good." She nodded, slowly lifting the sweatshirt over her head and laying it on the table. He grabbed and folded it neatly before placing it on the booth beside him. Now free from the constraints of the jersey, she tore into her ice cream like a woman starved.

"Doesn't that feel better? Your sweater is now safe from any harm and Daddy will worry about having it cleaned. That's not something a little girl should concern herself with."

"Yes Daddy, thank you," she said with a wide grin. It had been so long since she had been allowed to freely be in her little space, especially to this degree and it was nice to put the stresses and worries of adulting to the side, even if it were just for a little while.

"Um... I'm sorry sir, but um.. shirts are required in this establishment... Sorry..," the gangly scooper spoke nervously, obviously intimidated by his stature though he was not in his imposing state. The anxiety in the guy's eyes rubbed him the wrong way. Another negative profile. If that was the case while he wore a sweater and a name brand watch, he thought, the man deserved to feel fearful.

"Several pale skinned patrons are wearing sports bras and cropped bandeau tops, similar to my date's. Are you going to say the same to them?" Erik asked with a raised eyebrow watching the guy stammer in distress.

"I- It's just- Nevermind," the scooper stumbled, making his way back behind the counter. He started to pick up a phone, but when Erik made eye contact and mouthed a message, he put the phone back down.

"What did you say just now," O'Shea inquired, looking from the counter back to Erik's peaceful expression. The behavior of the scooper didn't match his face.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, Buttercup. Take your time. Finish your ice cream and we'll be on our way." O'Shea shrugged but continued to bounce happily as she ate her ice cream, even going as far as to ask Erik for another bowl for later. Because of the way he behaved earlier, he obliged.

"Whadya know, Buttercup! We got this one free."

"Yay!" she squealed, happily thanking the fearful scooper who nodded without eye contact.

"I-It was no trouble, really," he stuttered, eyes never leaving Erik's menacing scowl. As the couple turned to leave, Erik bucked at the young scooper, laughing loudly at the way he flinched, dropping a tower of ice cream all over himself.

"Damn, nigga. You need to lift weights or something," he smirked opening the glass door for O'Shea.

"Where do you wanna go now, Buttercup?" he asked as he brushed a rogue curl behind her ear.

"I wish it wasn't so late. I really wanna go to Disneyland." Erik checked his watch and noted that the park would indeed be closing soon.

"We can't get into the park, but Downtown Disney is still open."

"Ooh can we go to Salt & Straw?" she asked, bouncing on her toes.

"Buttercup you just had ice cream and got a free one to go. Not to mention you still have ice cream in the freezer from earlier."

"Yeah, but none of those were honey lavender with whipped cream and a waffle cone," she pouted.

'You're right, but considering the fact that I'm a doctor who also cares about your physical health, the answer is still no. You are sweet enough." She was upset but didn't protest further for fear that he'd just decide to take her back to her house. No matter how upset she was, Disney fixed everything. As the pair roamed the district, O'Shea's eyes grew wide watching Erik walk into to the Pandora shop. She'd been wanting new charms for her princess-themed bracelet forever, but never had the time or the extra funds to splurge on herself the way she wanted.

"How about I make my Buttercup something special?" he beamed down at her, rubbing circles into the small of her back.

"Oooh, what is it?" she asked happily.

"It's a surprise, but why don't you go get us two of those honey lavender cones and it'll be done by the time you get back."

"Ok!" she squealed happily, taking his card and running out of the store before he changed his mind again. It took her all of 10 minutes to go and come back with her half-eaten cone and his full one. Her grin was wide as she regarded Erik standing in front of the counter with both hands behind his back. His shit-eating grin was back like he knew he was that nigga. And at this moment, he was.

"Whatcha got back there, Daddy?"

"Just a little something for my second favorite princess," he replied stepping closer to her. "Close your eyes and hold out your left wrist." She quickly complied and her beaming grin grew even wider as she felt the cold metal against her skin.

"Alright, open." He watched smugly as her eyes opened and widened. Her heart was so full she thought it would burst. She hadn't even realized that he had slipped her princess bracelet off her wrist until she saw it in its complete form.

"You finished my bracelet?"

"Yes ma'am, chronologically just the way you had it and I started your villain one." Her fingers toyed delicately with the Tinkerbell and poisoned apple charms on the princess bracelet before moving to Maleficent and the Evil Queen charms on the villain bracelet. Then her eyes met his. She wanted to cry.

"Thank you so much, Daddy."

"Anything for my Buttercup. I even left off Anna and Elsa because I know those are the ones you like the least." Again, he'd remembered something seemingly frivolous solely because he knew it was important to her. She felt her little heart swell two sizes.

"You're the best, really." She rewarded him with a sweet kiss on the lips, which he deepened when he grabbed her chin and added a little tongue. Just enough to leave her wanting.

"Come on, pretty girl. Let's get you home, we both have work in the morning."

—————————————

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[pickalilywrites]

hello. I don't know if you're doing requests rn, but could you do a arumika mermaid fic??? I jus saw an amazing art of it by askmermanlevi tumblr, and now i can't stop wishing to read about it.

thank you @askmermanlevi for creating such a wonderful mermaid au w/ so many snk characters. i hope it’s alright that i wrote a mermaid au inspired by your au esp since i reused your cute design for mermaid mikasa xoxo 

To the End of the Ocean

Arumika. Mermaid AU. 

1693 words. 

Buy me a ko-fi!

There are those that are daring enough to explore the vast expanse of the ocean, but Armin is not one of them. The depths of the ocean have always intrigued him, and yet he has always wondered what lies past the barrier of coral that he has come to know so well. It is not that he is frightened of what lies ahead - stinging jellyfish, ravenous sharks, and vicious stingrays. He knows those obstacles will be there, that they exist in the ocean. It is his fear of the unknown that prevents him from leaving his small space in the sea. How can he abandon everything he’s ever known - the little shallow pool near the shore that he rests every night with his grandfather, the colorful reef he visits with his childhood friend Eren, and the beautiful caverns filled with gentle crustaceans that he sometimes takes shelter in when the sea is restless - for something he’s not even sure is there? He fears that whatever lies ahead will only underwhelm him or perhaps be too much for him to handle, and he will always yearn to be back home as soon as he leaves. Still, he continues to look through the vast blue waters, wondering what he would encounter if he ever dared to venture further than he had ever gone before.

Instead, he tries to satisfy himself with the tales that travelers weave as they pass by every year, sometimes showing off souvenirs that they had acquired on their travels. There’s another mermaid in particular whose stories captivate Armin the most. Although she’s the same age as him, she’s traveled more of the ocean than he ever will. Perhaps others in Armin’s position would be jealous, but Armin had never thought to be envious. He’s too busy marveling at her as he listens to the stories she tells.

Mikasa, the mermaid mentioned, sits at the center of a crowd of other curious merpeople. Although she’s been doing this for years, it’s still strange for Armin to see her like this. When they had just been merchildren learning how to swim, he never thought she would swim across the ocean. Perhaps he should have followed her.

The audience members listen intently as she describes the wondrous sights she had witnessed as she traveled the sea. Her family - all of them travelers - had just returned after journeying to a curious ocean filled with sweet water. It makes all the creatures there sweet-tempered and kind, she says, and the seagrass taste of sugar. She had been lucky enough to bring some for those who wished to try it as well.

As she passes it around, others ooh and aah at the peculiar seagrass, its pink tips and ruffled edges making it so different from the seagrass that they’re typically used to seeing. Armin, however, takes little notice of it aside from a quick glance. He’s more interested in Mikasa, how her vibrantly colored tail - glittering with scales of orange and black and white - swishes back and forth and how her gray eyes light up as she recalls her time in the strange sea. He wishes to see that same sea with his own eyes someday, but he does not believe he’ll ever have the courage to travel as Mikasa does. He’s content to just listen to her stories, living through her tales that she spins as her usually calm demeanor barely contains her excitement.

The ending of her storytelling is always Armin’s least favorite. He always wishes that such storytellings can stretch until early the next morning, but he realizes that would be silly. Still, he always wishes that Mikasa would continue with her stories, sharing the details that were perhaps lost in between. Others, however, seem satisfied with tonight’s stories, and the crowd is already dispersing. They’re off to their comfortable homes, but Armin trails behind, wondering when the next time for Mikasa’s travels will be. He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice that someone has swum in front of him, dangling a piece of seagrass in his face.

“Mikasa!” Armin says, surprised. He’s thankful that he didn’t bump into her. He backs up a bit, swallowing nervously. “I … I liked your story tonight. It was very beautiful. I wish I could have seen it myself.”

“Thank you. I was worried that you didn’t like it,” she tells him. Mikasa smiles graciously and offers him the seagrass once more. It’s even softer and more colorful up close, the gentle blades of green and pink swaying with the movement of the ocean. “Here. I noticed you didn’t take some earlier, so I saved a bit for you.”

“But I don’t have anything to give you in return,” Armin mumbles. It’s traditional for travelers like Mikasa and her family to bring souvenirs, and listeners trade those souvenirs for food and other goods as a sign of gratitude for the gifts and entertainment. Armin usually only brings a shell from offshore to trade with, but he seems to have forgotten to bring one tonight.

Mikasa shakes her head. “It’s fine. I already received a lot of things already,” she laughs. She watches as he takes the seagrass from her and nibbles tentatively at a blade. When his eyes grow wide at the peculiar taste of them, a smile spreads across her face and she lets out a satisfied laugh. “Ah, I’m so glad you like it! Isn’t the taste peculiar?”

“It is,” Armin agrees as he chews a little more. As he chews, he can taste a hint of the sugar-sweet sea that Mikasa had once described. He wonders if the waters there are also blue, or perhaps they are tinged with a tint of pink just like this seagrass is. Are the animals there sweet as well? Do they swim together, schools of pastel-colored fish mingling together, or do they swim in separate groups, patches of colors gliding through? Does coral grow there, and does it spiral up into violent spikes or does it bloom upward into soft branches? Can you still see the moon glisten on the surface of the ocean, or does it look different from how it does here? He wishes to ask her all of these questions and more, but he can’t bring himself to be so rude. After all, she must be tired after returning home from such a long travel.

The two of them swim slowly through the water in silence for a moment before Mikasa speaks again. “I’m grateful that you always come to my storytellings, although I feel that I can never do the sights I see much justice,” she confesses, looking down at her webbed hands. “I love that you’re so interested in my stories. It calms me to see your face in the audience whenever I return.”

Her words surprise him.  “But you describe your journeys so well! You don’t over embellish things, but the way you talk with your words and the expressions on your face … it makes me feel as if I were there with you.” Armin stops flipping his fins, allowing the sea to push him forward. “And it … it makes me wish that I had been there with you.”

Mikasa studies his face for a moment, drifting alongside him as the waves of the ocean pulled them forward. Finally, she says, “Why don’t you come with me next time?”

“What?” Armin asks, startled. He thinks that she’s joking for a moment - there are times where she makes peculiar jokes - but her expression is earnest. Quickly, he collects himself and mumbles, “I couldn’t possibly … I’m not suited for that kind of life.”

“Is that so?” Mikasa asks, eyebrows raised. She twirls around him, the swirl of water cool against his skin. “There isn’t anyone else in the world more suited to it than you. I have yet to see anyone so captivated by the idea of exploring the ocean, and there is that hunger to discover every single inch of the sea that even I don’t have.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Armin mumbles, but Mikasa ignores him.

“And I’ve always thought,” Mikasa continues, watching him carefully, “that traveling the ocean with you would be a lot more fun.”

It’s not that he was afraid of the unknown, Armin realizes now, but that he lacked confidence in himself. It didn’t matter what he found out there - whether it met his expectations or not. He could always return back home. He just needed a little push to finally swim past that coral barrier, and here was Mikasa reaching out her hand for him. All he had to do was take it.

“Maybe next time,” Armin replies, and it seems his answer is sufficient enough.

Mikasa reaches out to wrap her webbed fingers around his hand and gives him a quick squeeze. “It’s going to be wonderful,” she promises him. She squeezes his hand once more, a smile on her face, before swimming away to return to her family.

Armin doesn’t leave for home, not immediately. He remains drifting in the middle of the sea, watching as Mikasa grows smaller and smaller until she vanishes completely. All the while, he thinks about the adventures at sea they’ll have in the near future: encountering dangerous beasts, discovering new fauna and flora, and excavating ruins of shipwrecks and discarded human artifacts. These are things that excited him and frightened him before, but now the thought of such things exhilarates him. He can’t believe he had confined himself to this corner of the ocean for so long. Ah, but he can make up for that soon. With Mikasa, he can see himself traveling to places he had always dreamed about and going to places so magnificent he could never conjure with his imagination alone. What a glorious and curious feeling she has awakened in him, he thinks, but wonderful nonetheless. He hungers for adventure without worry now, and he knows this craving will only be satisfied once he’s traveled to the end of the ocean. And, as Mikasa has said just a few moments before, he knows it’s going to be wonderful.

[crabnby]

ok @the-defiant-pupil i'm just gonna go ahead and make a new post bc this is about to get too long for my adhd ass

(context: continuation of this post)

1. funny thing is, i've actually read most of your sources already. they get really, really boring after awhile though, bc all of them start to say the same thing: yes there are differences, but there are also similarities, and scientists have yet to figure out the significance of this.

i'm not gonna go through each and every one of your sources, and i shouldn't be expected to either. when it comes to biological research, find the most recent articles with the most solid evidence/conclusions and call it good. don't dredge up an entire archive. i could find you sources that only characterize lichens as 2 symbiotic organisms rather than 3, but that wouldn't be correct bc the most recent research says otherwise. so yeah, just bc you CAN find that much info out there doesn't mean all of it is viable and should be used.

also, you can't just list a bunch of sources and expect it to be enough. you should contextualize them, explain them, tell your audience why each one matters. if you're really going to have that many, then be prepared to give a short annotation for each one bc i can guarantee you no one has enough time on their hands (or in my case, attention span) to read that many sources

your "plain as day" source by the way?? says this as well:

this is what i was talking about earlier!! do you actually read, contextualize, and analyze what you read? or do you just find the first line you agree with and run with it?

bc what i got from reading that article is that even after years of research and the largest study to date, scientists STILL don't fully understand what they're looking at, and they might never. so we, as people Not Actively Researching This Subject should be incredibly hesitant to draw our own conclusions when even the researchers can't do so.

i also like that the author mentions how socialization can affect brain structure and development — did you know that domestication causes visible differences in gene structure between the ancestor and current-day species? bc of selective breeding, humans changed the genetics of dogs, cows, crops, etc.; genetics changed bc of domestication, domestication didn't come about bc of a change in genetics. and i KNOW that you're going to tell me this has nothing to do w what we're talking about, but it does hold a similar concept: it's not just genetics and bodily functions that affect behavior, the environment has an equally important role.

similarly, gene expression in almost every species is highly regulated by the environment just as equally as it is the body (and for clarification: environment means anything external, body means anything internal). as are hormonal responses, reflexes, emotions, etc. all of which can have subtle but lasting impacts on the body! i don't actually think that anti-transmeds are trying to deny science when we say that how your brain developed is not the only thing that affects gender identity! i think it's kinda actually the opposite!

2. i've haven't heard of this tumblr biologist, so please direct me to their publications, i'd actually really love to read them

3. science literacy is a whole other beast than literacy in general. like, yes, you have to be able to read, but suddenly specific word choice and HOW you read articles becomes important. it goes from reading chronologically (english literacy) to reading section by section and contextualizing what you've read in previous sections and articles so that by the end you understand the initial hypothesis, if the evidence ACTUALLY proved it, if their methods were sound, and why it matters in the particular field.

i'm not trying to say that people who aren't studying science can't read peer-reviewed articles and understand them, but you do have to realize that it's a completely new skillset you have to practice over and over again, not just something you can pick up on the fly

4. i think you completely missed my point about the anti-vaxxer movement. the reason it started was bc McBastard Wakefield published his article and before any other research could be done to refute it or back it up, the greater population picked it up and ran with it. 7 or so years since it's been debunked and he lost his medical license, but people still believe him bc he got published, and to some of the most accredited journals at that.

my point was that just bc the research exists doesn't mean we should accept it at face value until the medical/scientific community can undeniably say "this is what this is, and what it means." and they're STILL doing further research, which means that hasn't happened yet. bc the whole point of science, and by extension research, is to never be satisfied w your results, and instead continue to look for more than you can currently see. or at least that's what i've been taught.

bc to look at published articles and assume that they MUST be true bc it's PUBLISHED SCIENCE is...exactly what the anti-vaxxer movement began on. and i'd rather not repeat that.

(please show me, by the way, how """tucutes""" 1. actually exist and 2. harm anyone by simply living their own damn lives)

5. yeah """""tucutes""""" don't have any science bc uh.....there really is none. science is a process, and we're currently in the research phase which means NO ONE should be using it as proof. it's good to say "hey this exists" but to completely invalidate someone's existence based on studies that scientists are still trying to understand? that's called abusing and misconstruing results

6. i'm guessing you don't actually care, but sure. i'll explain mating types of fungi to you.

in short: genetic diversity is advantageous for survival, and fungi are nothing if not crafty little bastards, thus 1000s of mating pairs for better chances of sexual compatibility

in long: each mating type is determined by a set of genes. really, you can think of mating types as extended alleles, since each distinct allele has a distinct mating type.

so as for 5 different mating types and how they're different...there you go. that'd be like asking me to tell you 5 different alleles of the same gene and how they're different. the only difference is in sequence and then how they're expressed due to differences in sequence.

usually we don't categorize every single mating type since that'd be a bit...much.

however, we can and do categorize fungi by how they reproduce! i.e., what kind of syntamy do they display? can they go through diploid selfing? can they inbreed or only out cross? what's their primary stage of life: diploid or haploid? do they rely on sexual reproduction or asexual reproduction? if it's an ascomycete, do they form pericarps or ascocarps?

in fact, one of the main differentiators between fungi is their life cycle, most of which is geared towards reproduction. that's why although basidiomycetes and ascomycetes are the only fungi that can form macro fruiting bodies (as well as many, many other similarities), they'll always be categorized differently.

but i digress. the reason i compared fungal mating types to brain morphology and "sex" categorization is bc i was making an analogy. i'm not a neurologist, as you can probably tell at this point, but that doesn't mean i haven't taken any classes that covered the brain pretty extensively.

what i was really trying to say was this: everything that i've read so far says that although there's definitely some differences between brains, there's also a significant amount of overlap, so much so that when you try to categorize the brain into two distinct types, you're still going to have an incredible amount of variety.

likewise, you could, theoretically, do the same to fungi. you could sequence the genes from each mating type, determine the different SNPs, and categorize them into two distinct groups based on what SNPs they do/don't have. it wouldn't make sense to do so, though, bc there'd still be too much variety within each group.

this was just me trying to relate it to what i personally study but tbh i can see how that would've been confusing, so i apologize for that

[queendome-blog1]

YOGA say whaaat?

Sooooo I’ve begun my journey in the realm of yoga oh so recently - like, in the last few hours type of recently. My Trap Yoga idea has been a dream of mine for some time. During my journey of womanhood and throughout my growth I have become a more health conscious, spiritually based individual. I’ve gained knowledge in the field of chakras, proper usage of crystals, the importance of energies - let’s top that off with me adopting a Pescetarian lifestyle, especially as a Black woman?? I feel like I'm out here DOING the damn thing! So the only natural next step would be yoga, right? And not just ANY yoga - oh no. Let’s add some trap music to that thang and get shit shaking in here. I noticed that during my tenure in Big Box retail, one of my morning routines would be to put on my trap music and grind out my shift. The beat, the intention behind the lyrics, the emotion that was inspired by this set of rhythmic patterns, that prepared me to endure, to work, to GRIND. You know? Plus, who doesn’t want to align their center, balance their chakras, AND clap an ass cheek all at the same time?

😏

I KNOW this idea is bomb ass. And if you think too hard about it, you know it too. I already can do a few stretch poses (thanks bae). I just have to learn a few more poses and BAM - I’m in this yoga, bitch.

I wanted my first post to be about my journey in womanhood, and how I have been building a brand off of the lessons I've had to learn on my own. My main goal is to create this legacy that will empower young women coming up, who may have had to navigate is this big, crazy world. One passion is creating a more active lifestyle that doesn't break the bank, and allows for us to TRULY have a space, a moment (10-15 mins) to allow us to listen and converse with our bodies. Our health is SO important, and if we want to be out here living our best lives, it starts with touching your toes. Lifting your arms and being able to hold it. The sinple things that you don't realize you miss, until you are calf-deep in the quicksand of adulting.

Connecting something I love (music) with something that will lead me to working out (I HATE working out) while improving my overall health and wellbeing, sounds like enjoyable work. We HAVE to work to get what we want, but I want to forget that it's necessary. I realized yoga is NOT as simplistic as I preciously thought; it’s so much more than stretching and I had quite an interesting (and fun!) time learning this, y'all. Ain't nothing like a little Yoga to show you where you are. #adulting

 My husband knew of my plans, just as much as he knew I was pushing the idea back for one reason or another. So like the awesome husband he is, I came home the other day with the surprise of a new yoga kit (a yoga mat and towel), with a Yoga book of poses, all laid out for the Queen!

 I'm feeling fancy, yet...inspired. Hubby has been encouraging me to start getting into my crafts, and this was his way of helping nudge me in the right direction. #blacklove the book was titled: YOGA: The Essential Positions. Even the lady on cover looked to be doing a simple ass pose I would be able to conquer in no time. Eagerly I opened the book and flipped to the first pose, read the instructions and immediately started on the pose:

 Easy Peasy.

Let’s go ahead and knock this out.

I plop on down and immediately position my legs like in the photo. I straighten my back and face forward, reaching my arms down in the photo and - uh oh. I feel the stretch in my arms and in my back as I attempt to reach for the carpet - and it is NOT working out. My arms go one way, my back goes another, and my legs start doing what they want. For the life of me, I am unable to mimic this ALIEN, who looks as if yoga is as effortless as breathing. My husband who had been spectating the whole while, comes over and checks out the book.

“You mean like this?” Here he comes, like a swan, gliding over to my homemade yoga studio and sitting down; positioning his legs correctly, aligning his spine correctly, and stretching out his arms with ease. I scrambled to snatch up that book, survey the tutorial image to find this man was doing the pose with perfection...just like the woman in the book. So now I'm frustrated that

1.) I can't do it

2.) He can

Petty Betty, I know. But damn, you mean to tell me after 10 mins my arms jyst aren't long enough??

Frustrated, I turned the page to the next pose. Now this one looked to be the easiest one. The pose was called: The Mountain, meant to balance the whole body. I proudly stood, placed my feet together, exposed my palms forwardly, and lifted my chin like I finally conquered the beast I so greatly wanted to slay. And slayed I did! And Don laughed. Cause literally, it was the easiest pose. I stood and did a little something with hands and BAM - I completed the task! Any accomplishment is a joyous occasion, my friends. All jokes aside, this is actually one of my favorite poses. I could literally feel my blood ever so gently flow through my vessels, circulating throughout my whole body. This pose did exactly what it said to do, so I truly did get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.  

We moved on to the third pose, right?? The Standing Forward Bend. And yes, that’s literally what it is. You’re standing forward, and you bend forward as FAR as you can go! As I was attempting to bend, the husband was coming up behind me, because your girl was looking like a whole meal. Apparently, I wasn't bending over enough; the goal is to basically hug and kiss your kneecaps. Next thing I know, I see him grab the cute little turquoise rope, and he says “Come on babe, you gotta stretch!" So I say "Hold up, we’re going to need a safe word if we are doing it like this, wtf??” From the description and the look of the pose, I would have sworn he had tricked me with a karma sutra book instead! But hey, if I can strengthen my core and get a little fun in all at once, who am I to protest?

 I may have been a little tooooo bootlylicious for that third one. Between distracting my husband and my struggling to touch my knees let alone toes, we decided it was time to move on to the fourth. The Downward Facing Dog-we ALL know that one. The purpose is to soften the lumbar spine and strengthens the trunk and legs (their words, not mine). Dump in the trunk I am no stranger of, so I knew this was just the pose for me - confidence back up.

First I got on all fours as instructed and while in position I inhaled, focusing on my breath. With each intake I was absorbing the positive energy around me, each exhale I was purging the negative. When ready, I pushed my bottom half upward, leaving a slight bend in my knee. I pushed as far as I could before then reaching out with my arms. Every foot and hand was planted firmly against the earth, each digit spread to maintain the balance I was trying to achieve.

 I couldn’t do exactly what was shown - I just wasn’t as low as the tutorial woman was, but the progress is what’s important here. I faired better with the 2nd and 3rd, semi-successful with the 4th. So I was confident that moving forward was not only an achievable dream but a close one. Don't worry, as hilarious as it is to discover how out-of-shape I am, I'm going to use this as fuel to keep going.

I'm going to keep y'all ninjas posted.

#chakrasaywhat #Queendome