#i do not condone the pizza toppings in this fic but i needed something unique (gross) so there you go

[bestillmyslashyheart]

for @caitlesshea and @iwontbeyourmedicine

Maria knew it was the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurt. She loved Michael and she knew Michael loved her but their relationship wasn’t sustainable. It was better to end things now rather than wait until they hated each other.

Except Michael clearly didn’t agree with her. “I can do better,” he pleaded, his eyes shining.

Maria shook her head. “No, Michael, no. You were great. You-” she huffed a little laugh, “you were the best of me.” The next words are on her lips, spilling out before she could catch them. “You are the best of me.”

Michael inhaled sharply even as his face brightened. Maria’s heart flipped. “What did you just say?” He asked, his voice soft with wonder.

Maria’s mouth opened and closed. She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t meant to let the words come out. Not when she knew what they meant. Not when she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out if they meant what she hoped they did.

“Maria,” Michael beamed. He rose out of his seat and leaned over her in the bed, his hands cupping her face gently. “Maria you said my words.” He kissed her deeply, her aborted attempt at breaking up with him apparently forgotten.

Maria let him, his joy contagious as her heart sang. She’d said Michael’s words. They were soulmates.

It was meant to be.

---

Alex doesn't believe in soulmarks. If he did, he’d hate them.

The physical reality of them is impossible to ignore – the mark is undeniably there, inscribed across his skin – but he can't think of them as anything other than ridiculous.

Because they don't mean anything, not really. They're not the first words, or the last words, or even the most important words, but just something that someone, somewhere might say to you. If you're lucky enough to meet them, that is, and most people aren't, because that someone lives on the other side of the world, they don't take that one, fateful call, or they look to the left when they should have looked right.

And even then, most of the marks spell out inanities, mundane greetings and hackneyed phrases that their bearer might hear a hundred times in a day, never mind a lifetime, but those who have met their soulmate insist that it sounds and feels different when spoken by their other half, although no-one's ever been able to explain how to Alex’s satisfaction. 

There have been hundreds of studies performed by universities and hospitals and research institutions, measuring heart rates and brainwaves, hormone fluctuations and endorphin levels, but the results are never conclusive and nothing's ever been proven. He's meant to take it on faith that the words are meaningful, but Alex just can't. He can't believe that there's some mystical, unknowable force out there, playing cryptic matchmaker. Once, he’d let himself believe in the magic of it all but that time was long past. 

Which is why he didn’t let it hurt him when Isobel mentioned that Maria had said Michael’s words. Because they didn’t mean anything. 

It didn’t mean anything that he’d used to trace them while Michael slept, his finger curving over the letters imprinted behind Michael’s ears, the words covered by his curls so no one else got to see them. It didn’t mean anything that Alex had put those words in his song on the off chance that-

It didn’t mean anything.

---

“Don’t judge me, okay?” Forrest laughed. Alex felt himself smiling in return. Forrest shot him a wink before turning around and pulling his pizza out of the oven. “I made a cheese too,” he tossed over his shoulder. “Just to be safe.” Alex saw the other pizza sitting on the rack as Forrest moved his precious concoction over to the counter. You might have thought it was made of gold with how carefully he was handling it. 

Forrest left the oven door open as he dug around for a pizza cutter and Alex hip checked him out of the way as he fished the other pizza out and closed the oven door. It was their third date and Alex had suggested going for pizza, not anticipating Forrest inviting him over for the homemade variety. He had to admit it was nice, moving around each other in Forrest’s kitchen. They weren’t quite cooking together, Forrest having taken care of that before Alex showed up, but the camaraderie was there as Alex searched the cabinets for plates and glasses. 

“Ok,” he said when he had everything ready, “show me the monstrosity.” 

“Hey now,” Forrest chided, laughing, “I said you weren’t allowed to judge me.”

“You also said everyone else you’ve ever eaten pizza with hates it so…” Alex trailed off.

Forrest shrugged, unconcerned, and stepped away from the counter. He waved a hand over the perfectly cut pizza and let Alex look at it unencumbered. The crust looked perfectly cooked and the cheese was enticing but it was the combination of pineapple, ham, anchovies, and mushrooms on top that captured his attention. Alex stared at it for long enough that Forrest reached for it. “This is why I made a cheese,” he told him.

Alex reached out and snatched the pizza from his grasp and pulled it close. “I’m sure you and the cheese will be very happy together.” Forrest furrowed his brow for a moment before his expression cleared.

“Alex…?”

“I get this one.” It wasn’t his favorite combination of toppings, sure, but it was up there. Alex had never met someone who liked the same toppings as him.

“Alex,” Forrest sighed in amazement. “You like it?” His lips turned up in a slow smile.

“I think it’s amazing,” Alex corrected.

“I haven’t eaten it yet,” Alex reminded him.

“But you don’t think it’s disgusting?”

“Oh my god,” Forrest wondered. “We’re like two halves of one crazy messed up whole. No one likes my- Alex?” 

Alex felt all the blood drain from his face. There was no way Forrest could have known those words. They hadn’t had sex yet, he hadn’t seen them. Even if he had, half of the words were gone now…

“Alex?” Forrest asked again, worry evident in his voice.

“Those are my words,” Alex confessed quietly. He hadn’t felt any different, at least he didn’t think he had, but the chances of Forrest saying his exact words were astronomically low. “We’re like two halves of one crazy messed up whole,” Alex repeated. “Those are my words.”

Forrest lit up. “Really?” Alex nodded. Forrest took one large step across the kitchen and swept him into a kiss.

“It’s you,” Forrest said wondrously when they pulled apart. “It’s you.”

---

Michael thought it would feel different. He’d always decried the concept of soulmates but secretly he loved the idea of them, of someone out there who was meant for him in every way. Someone who would love him forever. 

He loved Maria. And she’d said his words, despite only knowing half of them. She was his soulmate.

So why wasn’t it better? Why wasn’t it good?

They fought all the time. It had been months since she said his words and took back her attempt at ending their relationship and Michael thought they might have spent more of that time fighting with each other than they did being happy. Maria was insistent on pursuing her alien heritage even as it killed her and she was forcing Michael to stand back and watch and he hated it. But she hated it every time he tried to do something about it so they were stuck at an impasse. 

It didn’t help that Forrest had said Alex’s words. The man was around a lot more than Michael was comfortable with and that little secret hadn’t stayed quiet very long. Even worse than seeing Forrest Long’s face everywhere he went was the fact that Alex didn’t look happy. He hid it well, but there was a tightening around his eyes and a stiffness to his shoulders that betrayed him. Alex was unhappy. And Michael didn’t have any right to do anything about it anymore. He hadn’t for a long time now. 

It came to a head at another Open Mic Night, fittingly enough. Michael hadn’t planned on going but Maria had had to cancel a date when one of her bartenders called out so he drove over to the Pony and set up at the bar, as far away from the stage as he could get. A night full of terrible music wasn’t his idea of a fun night but he and Maria hadn’t really seen each other in a week and he was making an effort, okay?

He wasn’t expecting Alex to get on stage.

He really wasn’t expecting him to start singing that song, either. 

---

Alex started singing and Maria stopped to listen. She’d heard about his song from her regulars and her staff but she hadn’t had the chance to hear it for herself so she stepped back from the bar and just listened.

It didn’t take very long for her to realize who the song was about. She cut a glance over at Michael’s seat at the end of the bar. He wasn’t looking at Alex but he was so clearly not looking at Alex that it was somehow more obvious that it was all he wanted to do.

At one point he closed his eyes and turned towards the stage, like he was a compass and Alex was true north and he couldn’t help himself.

Wish I found the words when we were seventeen

You were the best of me

You are the best of me

Maria heard the words and knew immediately that Alex knew what they were. He didn’t write them by accident.

But she barely had a moment to process that thought before Michael stole all of her attention. He’d jolted off of his stool when Alex finished, his eyes wide as he stared across the room at Alex. His left hand went to his ear, fingers tracing the letters Maria knew to be imprinted behind it.

Maria watched as a hundred emotions flitted across his face before settling on determination. He turned towards her, an apology in his eyes and she knew. 

“Yeah,” she sighed as she walked over to him. “This makes more sense,” she confessed.

“Maria…”

She waved him off. Alex and Forrest walked past them towards the door and she jerked her head in their direction. “What are you waiting for? Go.”

Michael spared her another apologetic glance before he was gone.

---

“You were amazing,” Forrest gushed as the doors slammed closed behind him. The noise from the bar was cut off and they were left with the stillness of the night air. “Better than the first time, for sure.”

Alex fiddled with his keys and didn’t look at him. “Thanks.”

Forrest bit back a sigh. They’d started off well but things had changed once Forrest said Alex’s words. He would have expected things to get even better, for their relationship to move forward, but that hadn’t happened. It was like they’d stalled out. If it weren’t for the words, Forrest might have ended things already and he suspected Alex felt the same, but it was hard to deny the mark of destiny so they dug their heels in and dragged it out.

Noise filled the air as the doors banged open. “Alex!” 

Forrest and Alex turned in unison to see Michael Guerin barreling towards them. Forrest hadn’t spent much time with the man but he knew he and Alex had a past and they shared many of the same friends. “Guerin,” he greeted when Alex said nothing.

Michael ignored him completely, his feet carrying him all the way to Alex without pause. He cupped Alex’s face in his hands and Alex didn’t stop him, his only movement being to drop his keys and grab Michael’s hand.

“We are so fucking stupid,” Michael smiled. 

“What are you-” Alex started to say before Michael cut him off.

“We’re like two halves of one crazy messed up whole.”

Alex dropped his guitar. And Forrest knew.

“You put it in the song,” Michael added nonsensically. 

“Yeah, well,” Alex replied weakly. His voice was soft with wonder and disbelief. “Took a little longer than I anticipated but it worked.”

Forrest wasn’t sure which one of them moved first but in the next breath they were kissing, the two of them colliding less than a foot away from him. 

It was almost like they fused together, the two of them becoming one being right in front of him. The return of the noise had him looking back over at the entrance to find Maria DeLuca, Alex’s friend who, up until a minute ago, Forrest thought was Michael’s soulmate. She had a strange look on her face as she watched Alex and Michael and Forrest wandered over to her. “So,” he greeted.

“So,” she shot back with a smile. “It makes more sense that it’s them,” she allowed.

“It does,” Forrest agreed. They stood in silence for a moment watching the two men. “Doesn’t mean this doesn’t suck just a little bit, thought.”

Maria laughed sharply, the sound startled out of her. “Did they really just start making out right in front of you?”

“I don’t think Guerin even noticed I was there,” Forrest replied. “And Alex definitely forgot as soon as Guerin said his words.”

“You want a drink?” Maria offered. Her eyes cut back over to the two men who, Forrest checked, were still making out. Forrest wasn’t sure they’d stopped to take a breath yet.

“Please.”

---

It was strange, waking up in Alex’s house. Michael had been here before but he’d never been allowed to wake up here. And definitely not with Alex still sleeping next to him.

Sunlight streamed in through a crack in the curtains and Michael swore Alex glowed with it. That could just be the love talking, though.

Alex barely stirred as Michael tossed off the blanket and the sheet, baring them both to the cool air. Michael shifted towards the foot of the bed and pulled Alex’s right leg into his lap.

The letters stared up at him, we’re like two halves of one. The rest of the sentence was gone but Michael didn’t need to see it to remember what it said. He’d had the words carved into his memory from the very first time he’d read them. Once, he almost said them out loud but he hadn’t wanted to tempt fate. There was no rhyme or reason to the marks. If he’d read it out loud to Alex when they were 17 it probably wouldn’t have done anything. They weren’t meant to know then.

A hand brushed his hair back and away from his ear. Michael glanced up to Alex staring at him, his thumb reaching down to trace the cursive letters scrawled along his hairline. “I didn’t think it would work,” Alex said softly. “The song. It’s not supposed to work if you say them because you read them.”

Michael leaned down and pressed a kiss along Alex’s words before crawling up the bed to lay next to him. “Screw that ‘supposed to’ crap,” he muttered. “We’d never have figured it out if we hadn’t already known.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Really? You think so?”

“Alex,” Michael sighed. “We’ve known the words since we were 17 and it still took us 12 years.”

Alex shrugged as if to say ‘fair enough’. He carded a hand through Michael’s hair and bared the other ear to his eyes. He leaned forwards and Michael ducked his head enough so Alex could brush his lips across you are the best of me. 

“I can’t believe I thought it was Maria,” Michael admitted. “When I heard you say it was like the words were on fire, like they were warming me up or something. There was nothing when Maria said it.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed. “Same with Forrest. I just didn’t think there was any chance of someone else saying them so…”

Michael closed the tiny gap between them and kissed Alex softly. “They’re my words,” he told Alex. “No one else’s.” 

Alex ran his thumbs over the words on both sides of Michael’s head. “Likewise.”