#i didnt have time to do nearly every i wanted to so i wanted to prioritise people whose ocs i havent drawn at all yet ^^ please feel free to
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I had a great birth experience with both of my kids but uh anyone telling you it was effortless are either lying or selling you something or both.
I've got chronic pain and I'd picked up from my midwife and further reading that painkillers wouldn't do much useful during the birth so I avoided them for as long as possible. For my first I ended up needing an epidural anyway because around hour 17 they decided I needed an emergency caesarean.
Anyway I need you to all understand that childbirth was not the worst pain of my life. Nerve pain and broken bones hurts a lot more.
BUT.
It was bloody intense. You know the feeling when you've been running as hard as you can for as long as you can and you didnt train enough and you can see the finish line so you need to keep pushing yourself past your reserves to get there and your entire body is begging for rest and has been for the last half of the race?
So imagine that you're doing that but you can't see the finish line and you can't quit until the baby is out and they'll keep telling you you're nearly done and they're Guessing.
Sure, once the baby is out you get the world's most intense rush of hormonal euphoria but still. Intense.
People do it every day. I had an emergency caesarean after 17 hours of labour the first time and the second time was 5 hours, almost all natural barring a bit of vacuum on the last push.
When they gave me the epidural for the caesarean the first time it was awesome because I could tap out, my job was done. Then I had to rehab myself for 6 weeks post surgery with a newborn.
The second time I was up and walking around and having a shower within an hour once the baby was out and felt great much sooner.
I would classify neither of those births as traumatic and Still I have to emphasise that it took a lot of mental fortitude and some good midwives to make them that way. They were still 2 of the most intense days of my life.
Is the reward worth it? Sure, I love my kids. They're what I wanted. Going through childbirth successfully felt very affirming in some ways.
Do I think anyone should approach childbirth lightly? Hell no, the next closest amount of physical alteration people undergo in a single event is in something like a car crash.
There's no one right way to do it, and everyone is going to experience things differently, but don't Lie to people and tell them it's easy or fun.
It's a challenge that you can choose to rise to (assuming you have the requisite parts) but it doesn't make anyone less of a parent to not find their joy and/or affirmation in one hard day of physical labour.
losers in the notes of that post like “actually giving birth was perfectly great for me! I had a good time! it was effortless and I am the divine feminine! don’t let this post scare you!” you don’t get an award for not having birth complications and your individual experience shouldn’t be used as evidence that birth is not often traumatic
#and it should go without saying but only those who enthusiastically want that baby born from their own body should have to go through it#also it's just one day and then you have the rest of your life to be a parent#making parenthood about one day is silly when it's a lifelong commitment that is more enduring than most marriages
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being jewish with zero affiliation to israel and rather a generational line of activists for palestine is a hard line to walk and sometimes i wish i could just fall off
#i hate zionist jews i hate i stand with israel signs in my neighborhood i hate leftists who write and speak and act like theyve never met an#actual jewish person in their life and believe that were all genocidal monsters (in spite of our own genocide which i assume will eventuall#flip around to leftist holocaust denial) i hate that people are blaming israeli civilians for the faults of their deeply corrupt government#i hate that i cant say zionism is inherently antsemitic without getting fucking maimed i fucking hate it here the world is on fire just#fucking let me burn#anyways#sorry#free palestine#any other#jumblr#girlies (gn) relating to my vent#bc im started to feel ashamed of myself my culture and my people#and its such a fucking shitty feeling#like i can barely look in palestine / gaza / etc. tag without seeing blindingly blatant antisemitism coming from left right and center#like just say you hate jews and fuck off#i cant look at this shit anymore fuck#idk why im so worked up about this rn i just. btwn weeding out all the zionist blogs i didnt know i followed and just being so fucking-#and weeding out all the antisemitic leftist blogs i didnt know i was supporting its all just crashing down#im so fucking tired#and im so fucking tired of having to defend myself any time i talk about the jewish experience in any of this#and im so fucking tired of people equating judaism with religion only#and im so fucking tired of the double standard of also equating with only one race#like there arent jews of every race#the reason you cant see any of this shit is because nearly a century later were still dealing with the aftermath of the 6mil person murder#were always at the cross roads of some ridiculous double standard or the scapegoat for when things are going badly#like fuck i just#dont want to have this fucking identity anymore it makes me a walking talking breathing living fucking target#idk what to do I'm just#desolate
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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Honestly tho it's the "I don't love you" and "every time I said it was just automatic impulse" that's got me the most messed up. Like u couldn't even let me down softly by saying it just wasn't working out? You had to essentially tell me the whole thing was a lie??? After I TOLD you I had trust issues and felt like everyone is just going to leave me in the end???
Way to make me feel unlovable lol
#speculation nation#tho of course what has me the Angriest is her breaking up with me over text. that takes the biggest fucking cake.#idk there was a lot said in all of that bullshit. including her admitting she was probably self-sabotaging.#i hate being used as a tool of self harm. being shoved away as a form of self sabotage.#like if youre gonna be a messed up bastard whyd you have to include me in it??? fucking bitch.#i let her know just how pissed off i was. called her every applicable name under the sun.#selfish coward bastard asshole piece of shit bitch. tossed in a few Fuck Yous as well. fully deserved.#and yet she just kept on with that sniveling 'im so sorry' and 'i know ill regret this' and 'i just have to do it'#you didnt have to do anything. you couldve had it poly but you just couldnt look last your infatuation.#also her calling days old feelings Love. as if that kind of immediate and extreme kind of feelings arent By Definition infatuation.#she's in the honeymoon faze. found her nice new fixation. said they understand each other like no one else.#but it's only been Days. how well can you know a person in that time? not very well usually.#threw out a nearly 6 month long relationship just like that. what a joke.#and when she'd brought up just last thursday that our 6 months was coming up (on the 23rd)#and mentioned wanting to do something to celebrate it...#im just like. i guess you really cant know everything in a person huh?#i knew she wasnt perfect but she always treated me so kindly. so considerate and attentive.#who knew she'd be the type to drop me for the new shiny fixation? i sure didnt expect it.#id started to trust that she genuinely liked me. even if i didnt understand why.#but now im back to square one. wondering whether anyone can ever like the true me.#i know theres gotta be someone out there for me. i just... have to find them.
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I HATE MY FUCKING JOB
#barks#i literally FUCKING hate it#i worked 40 hours this week AT MY PART TIME JOB WHILE ALSO WORKING 35 HOURS AT SCHOOL#I'm so fucking tired#i cant do this anymore#if they make me work this much again I'm literally killing myself instead#I'm so fucking stressed out and the best part is we're closed next week due to being understaffed so working this much isnt even#going to make my pay check bigger!!!!#i only even took the extra shifts bc they were gunna make my coworker open EVERY SINGLE DAY this week on top of her 9-5#so we alternated opening at 4 am - 8 am respectively before goinf to our other jobs at 9#and im STILL FUCKING BROKE#i didnt save nearly as muvh as i wanted to in june bc shit kept coming up#and now i have fucking debt collectors calling me every day for idk why#I'm just gunns kill myself literally i hate my life i cant do this anymore
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hot(?) guilty gear take:
danger time is fun and not nearly as bad a mechanic as some people like to claim. they're just salty when they lose to it
#crow.txt#like its a really hype mechanic. its fun to watch and tbh never bugged me that much to experience#granted i didnt go to tourneys ever but like#idk. both opponents are given the same things. is it kinda a reaction time game? certainly. but thats like all of fighting games#idk why its so Irredeemably Awful to a lot of players who probably never even play in tourneys they just like regurgitating the same things#repeatedly forever bc its the internet and predominantly reddit#even if the argument is that some matchups are skewed unfairly (like slayer pilebunkering repeatedly) i mean.... yeah? thats like#the fucking crux of fighting games. its not specific to danger time. you can make that argument about literally anything#you could make that argument about certain overdrive mechanics in blazblue#i can see how it would be frustrating in a tourney but if youre getting THAT big mad about losing this specific way then.. man idk#is it that different than being beaten normally. not really#the real unspoken bullshit mechanic is being able to instant kill functionally whenever you want. THATS the tourney killer#its unrealistic in the vast majority of scenarios but like... at least with like every other game. blazblue and unib#you have to EARN it at least a little. yeah the consequences of whiffing are major but also with stun in xrd it can be easier to land#even when someone is a huge dick about astralling me in blazblue i dont get nearly as tilted about it as i would#at getting hit by a bs instant kill setup like first round in xrd. are you kidding me. holy shit#at least astrals have to be match point. you literally Do have to earn it. unib you yourself have to be half dead rather than the opponent#being able to instant kill just Whenever feels so much cheaper#getting off my soapbox for an opinion nobody asked for. even tho strive damage is already crazy insane#danger time was a fun mechanic and idk a danger time mod might be funny. never seen anything quite like it but thats true of a lot of gg#only guy on earth who misses danger time apparently
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my absolute favorite thing about resident evil games is that the goofy architectural contraption puzzles are just a universal constant no matter the time or location
#i think about them so much#infinite comedic potential#ok i think maybe re6 kind of didnt have them nearly as much?? its been ages since i played it but it seemed much more fast paced than the#rest so#imagine making a delivery and not knowing where tf to enter and youre on the phone with them and theyre like ok yeah no#you need to go to that place and retrieve this bas relief piece#yeah theres a couple more in other places after that- wait no dont leave ill tip extra#also the ever constant question of who the fuck builds them#my main theories are 2: either its 1 guy/guy and his descendants or smth that just made that their line of work and got a name in the field#so every mansion-owner antagonist wannabe knows who to rely on if you want to get your shit done well#or 2 its always someone different and they just get lured to each remote ass place with the promise of a huuuge pay for#very specific silly requests#they probably just get axed or worse at the end of the job but itd be even funnier if they didnt#they just do it and get a nice pay and that just becomes a funny story to tell their buddies#like yeah man this one time i got a job in some backwater ass village asked me to built some stupid doors with puzzles and shit but hey#the pay was good#but yeah tldr its the best thing ever i wish irl buildings had that shit
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One thing i think is really interesting with both the Undertale and Deltarune fandom is that even though the characters are quite developped, everyone i see seems to have the felt the same way when they experienced the story. (Alphys and Berdly seems to be the exeption to that for each game, but i will get into that later).
And while it's really cool to see everyone share their feelings and how much they love these stories, i never actually see discuss the way it made them feels outside of in the moment let's play, and maybe a joke about photoshop flowey, the genocide run/snowgrave and killing toriel.
So, and bear with me here, because i'm going to rant a bit about how my experience with both IT and deltarune chapter 2 seem to differ from most people's.
I DID NOT LIKE PAPYRUS AND QUEEN WHEN FIRST PLAYING.
Queen especially, Papyrus i like better now but he's still probably at the bottom of the list of my favorite "main" characters for UT now.
Okay, before you bring out the pitchforks for the Papyrus slander, i want to explain a few things.
When i first played UT, the only thing i knew about it was the "wanna have a bad time" meme, Sans apparence and the fact their was multiple routes deoending on your actions.
So i played a bit, killed toriel, felt really bad and reset because there was no way this was part of whatever "good" route i knew existed. Flowey gave me an existantial crisis so bad it made me reconsider my entire life choices and made me aware to my core that everything here actually mattered, that what i did mattered, if not to them, then to me.
Needless to say that was ingrained in me whenever i played UT and afterward DR.
So here i was, freaked out, and then immediatly introduced to the squelbros. I knew there was more to Sans that met the eye but his demeanor was so chill i knew he was a companion i would enjoy to have along.
Do any of you remember meeting Papyrus for the first time? Because it was with him having been described as a human hunting fanatic.
Not a good start to my already nervous ass. To say i was apprehensive was an understatment. Because even if he seemed aloof, you dont need to be smart and collected to hurt someone. Even if it became obvious quite quickly he wabted to capture me and not kill me, it took me until i fought with him to realise that he actually wouldnt hurt me even by accident.
I DID enjoy all the puzzles and interractions before snowdin, but i probably wouldnt have been as relaxed playing it if Sans wasnt out there keeping an eyesocket out for me.
So! First impression of Papyrus? A bit nerve wacking, but it was still funny so it can only go up from there? Right?
Right?
...
Okay, let's go about the date.
I didnt want to be there. At all. I purposfully didnt flirt with him the whole fight because the entire idea made me uncomfortable to my core. I was SO relieved at the end it. The actual date was alright, i guess, but it made me feel bad more than it made me have a fun time.
Okay, a rough patch. What's next?
Him introducing us to Undyne!
And that was when i realised why didnt like him all that much. Yeah, he's good hearted and all, but... He just pulls me everywhere assuming that this fine. He kept projecting his own wants onto me, and everyone around him, and never took the rejection well. Sans being a sentry? Hil and Undyne's whole thing? Clear exemple of that.
And yeah, they might have went along with it because they cared, but the game didnt give me that choice, either. And even outside of that, he clearly had trouble considering other peoples points of view and accepting them.
All of that, combined with the mask of the great papyrus he puts on making it hard to know what is true, exageration, or something he might have deluded himself into thinking was true, made it pretty hard to connect with him.
...
So! That's it with Papyrus! It's a perspective i have wanted to share for a while but seeing how the fandom could fall into the whole "if anyone says anything bad about this character ever i would murder them" thing i wasnt really comfortable doing it unless in longpost format.
...
So now, let's talk about Queen!
Unlike with Papyrus, i was actually really freaking surprised to see that seemingly nobody felt the same way about her than i did. Like, i was downright gobsmacked. So, unlike with UT, i will begin this by the end of the stories: me interracting, ith the fandom after i played.
I started with the classic route of watching let's plays. After switching between a few different people's first episode, i thought the reason why thay didnt seem to take her seriously in any kind of way was because they were, well, youtubers. It is their job to both play games and entertain. Of course they would focus on the jokes if the hundred game they played this year, it made sense.
So i switched to analysis/commentary videos and hanging around on tumblr. And realised that, no, actually i was the outlier here. It felt like getting punched in the gut.
So! Here i was, watching the while fandom proclaim how much they loved queen, how funny she was, ect. As if her entire personnality was just to make bad computer jokes and race tracks.
Because that was NOT what i saw.
I saw an unstable person (who kept drinking so i also assumed drunk/alcoholic) that had kidnapped and was stalking a kid. I saw someone out of touch with reality that could go from being happy and playing a game to trying to kill you. I saw an obsessive, looming figure that was always around the corner.
I saw someone who saw proceeded to, depending on the character, try and entice them by promising them all they wanted, ignore them completly even when they wanted nothing more than a shred of attention, and just generally took advantage of what she perceived to be other peoples emotionnal weakness to try and have them do what she wanted to. Wether that was creating a dark fountain, being her minion or stopping their attempts at stopping her.
She was one of the most menacing villain i ever met. Manipulative, Obsessive, Unpredictable and otherwise seemingly Unstable. Each of her apparenced filled me with dread.
The only time i saw someone acknowledging any of this was a video essay about how she could represent a different kind of mother to each of the charaters (absent, overbearing, negligent, love bombing...). It made me feel SO much better about my experience with it.
...
So yeah, i really wanted to share my perspective on these characters since most of the UT/DR dont seem to have shared that particular kind of analysis before.
Also, since i mentionned in the intro: I feel like Alphys and Berdly suffered from the fact that geekt people are seem as annoying. Like, i saw SO many people get angry/annoyed at seeing Berdly when they only saw less than 10 pieces of dialogue before. He's such a fun character but get immediatly cast asside because he can be a bit prickly. He's ridiculous and over the top, but so are so many characters. He's just a kid who is bad at social interractions and thinks being better than everyone means he will get more love/attention. I wish more people would actually give him a chance instead of writing him off right away.
As for Alphys, a lot of the people who feel negatively about her do so after playing the pacifist ending and being angry at her actions. But i feel like even before people got to that point, the whole "texting everywhere" in hot land made some people annoyed enough that they disliked her for it. I wasnt in that case and actually quite liked the whole thing but i get where people are coming from. It's honesly the only section i can think off where i saw the fandom being really split in how they felt about the her when first encountering her.
If anyone wants to share their own experiences and how it affected them while playing, PLEASE do so! Especially if you feel like it's not a commun one!
#I didnt want to put it in the main post but one of the reasons why Papyrus makes me uncomfortable is how he reminds me of me at 6 years old#undiagnosed autistic and unable to read social clues i troes os hard to fit in with people only to get rejected at every corner#it eventually felt so bad i just stopped trying all together in my teens#but i acted in ways harmfull to myslef for so long in the meantime just trying to make friends seeing someone go trough similar motions hurt#sometimes i think about how easily i could have been taken advantage off and abused back then and recoil in horror#thankfully it didnt happen but GODS#undertale#papyrus#alphys#sans#flowey#deltarune#deltarune queen#queen deltarune#deltarune chapter 2#berdly#it took me an hour and a half to write this so i really hopes this reach an audience#it's nearly 4am btw#i was looking forward to going to sleep too but severly underestimated the time it would take for me to put my thoughts on the keyboard#if you see any mistakes no you don't#and if you still do blame the time or the fact i am not a native english speaker#also my phone dosent english autocorrect
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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so ive beaten dao solo before (on easy) and ive never played it on nightmare, what if i.........................................hmm...
#shhh im actually making this post a few days after starting this playthrough#it's definitely Difficult that's for sure#but it didnt get Extremely hard until some of the lothering side quests#like i was getting worried about potions in ishal#but those wolves in lothering........ Demons all of them#anything that knows overwhelm can kill you in one shot if it gets close enough and there were.. idk how many.. 15? 20? dude.#im realising im gonna need some very high physical resistance for this run#it's also the first time ive played a solo playthrough as anything other than a rogue (which i usually do for lockpicking/disarming traps)#but i thought mage would be better because you can basically be tank and high dps and crowd control all in one#and it's fun when i dont have to worry about friendly firing my party#now for most solo runs i usually recruit people and just leave them behind but for this one im actively avoiding/getting rid of them all#i started being mean to alistair and i Hate Myself. the first time i went to talk to him and he said 'what do you want?' i wanted to DIE#anyway ive finished lothering and im having trouble deciding which main quest i should do first hrmmmm#maybe i go for redcliffe now so i can level up the mana spell branch? mana clash one-shots nearly every mage in the game#which is completely overpowered but after broken circle it's not that useful anymore#yeah i think redcliffe makes the most sense. ive gotta give up on the idea that i might try to save everyone. not gonna happen!!!!!!#im guessing the meta here for choosing abilities is animate dead for a mage or ranger for a rogue right?#like having that one follower to take some threat? idk that's what im going for. walking bomb is helpful anyway so animate dead is easy#spec-wise im thinking arcane warrior and then... probably shapeshifter?#i was thinking spirit healer at first but that would be solely for the passives and for lifeward#i guess the best use for shapeshifter is healing with flying swarm which requires all four spells so im not sure. other forms could help?#ive got until level 14 to decide so i'll just choose whichever seems more helpful then. arcane warrior is the main one#i dont think there's any reason to choose blood mage except that i wouldnt have to put any points into willpower.............#but by level 14 the second spec is just to support your existing abilities. you cant pick a playstyle to start at L14 in a run like this#assuming i make it through this and try the dlc i think i'll probably respec for arcane warrior and both new specs#they're both very good for melee. and i'll also want the respec to start with more of the new spells because they're also good for melee#personal#da#dao#ash plays da
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Egg shell got in my pancake 👍 the way I nearly threw up about it is just affirming that im not faking sensory issues to myself 👍
#good god#'is it really that bad?' i ask myself when hot water feels like its burning and i wouldn't be able to do my job if id didnt wear my mask#cause of the smells and i nearly throw up and wont finish my pancakes because there was an itty bit of egg shell in it#and half to change my canvas to grey Every time i draw so my eyes dont hurt after 2 hours#it is that bad i am going to. lay down now.#im going to feel bad cause i was bugging my mom to make it for me but ough. i cant do that again. is there more in there idk i dont want#to find out ! lol !#edit: oh boy. half -> have#they sound the same but are not spelt the same lol
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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Mother, im sitting here at 4am, eating mini easter eggs and ive had tge most brilliant idea!! (Inspired by @inkdrinkerworld 's fic)
Okay so, poly!moonwater and readers been having trouble sleeping due to tensions/problems with her pureblood family. As a result shes been taking more naps, but they arent restful. So reader were napping in Rems bed (the dungeons were too cold) but after a fitful 30 minutes she gets up groggy, sleep deprived and beyond frustrated. She stumbles her way down to the common room, pin point Sirius lounging across the couch and promptly throws herself down to cuddle with him and continue her nap. Everyone (minus Siri) is shook. Jamie even asks if she got the wrong person because Reggie was sitting over there (in which he got a one eyed death glare before she burrowed into Siris chest and passed out).
Now, what everybody else didnt know was that Siri had more or less adopted reader as his own (she remined him so much of Reggie, being her big brother was 2nd nature). And while Barty was her person, he was a little too crazy to be comforting in this situation ("y/n, i'll get rid of them for you. Its not hard to do so" "Barty, no."). And of course Siri nows how bad their kind of familys are so he'd been taking care of reader on the down low as an older brother would.
Bonus if Reggie then decides that looks warm and fuzzy and wants Siri cuddles too so he joins ( it took him so long to get to a point where he could let himself be vunerable enough to openly allow Siri to take care of him 😭)
aweeee poor reader. this ended up being way more serious than I thought it would be? like it's not funny at all, there's no humour (which feels odd to me, usually I can throw some jokes or banter in there) but plenty of hurt comfort???.......idk, I can't tell if this is any good, it feels very different from my usual pieces
poly!moonwater x fem!reader whose family sucks (but it's very Sirius-centric)
CW: mentions of insomnia, mentions of abusive families, making fun of only children (sorry), hurt/comfort
You were miserable to say the least; you couldn’t remember when the last time you had a restful sleep was, and nothing you did seemed to help.
The closer it got to the Winter Holidays, the more your mind seemed to spiral. Every time you began to relax, your heart pounded as if you’d accidentally leaned too far back in your chair, reminding you of your upcoming visit home. Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with images of angry faces and violent curses being shot at you.
The Slytherin dungeons were too cold, and every time you found your way into Regulus’ dorm, Barty insisted on butting in, and though you appreciated his support, you couldn’t handle his threats promises to burn down your home with your parents in it.
Remus and Regulus both suggested you perhaps talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting some dreamless sleep or sleeping draught, but you were too embarrassed to admit to your two overprotective boyfriends that you’ve used them so frequently during your life for this very reason that they had lost all efficacy.
It had gotten to the point that you managed to get the most sleep in the library bent over the table with your face on your book whilst Remus and Regulus did their work (and sometimes yours), and that honestly left you feeling more painfully tired than you had been before your nap.
So, you were nearly falling asleep at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall over your chicken and roast potatoes when Remus gently nudged you and suggested you go lie down for a bit and you wanted to weep into your potatoes which was only slightly less embarrassing than sleeping in them, causing him and Regulus to bring you up to Gryffindor tower.
You’d kicked them both out of the Marauders’ dorm room after some time – Remus for snoring and Regulus because the sound of him turning the pages of his book was distracting you. He promised to stop reading, but then he breathed too loudly and you started crying.
You were overtired, emotional, and running on fumes.
You’d counted puffskeins, you’d had a warm glass of milk, you’d taken off articles of clothing and reconfigured your outfit numerous times (which was currently Remus’ jumper and no pants), and you’d tried every position imaginable to no avail.
You think you might have perhaps gotten five minutes of sleep before you woke up with a start, a barely repressed scream grating through your teeth.
Feeling disturbingly weepy and no less groggy from your horrid sleep, you pulled on a pair of your sweatpants and grabbed the throw blanket from the end Remus’ bed before trudging down the stairs to the common room.
“You should have seen the look on Filch’s face- oh! Hi Y/N!” James called as you made your way over to the three-seater and stood over the black-haired boy currently occupying it.
“Oh, Trouble.” He cooed sympathetically at you before kicking his feet out, laying back, and opening his arms for you to join him. You quickly climbed on top of him, and he tucked you in between the back of the sofa and his side, bending your knee so that your thigh rested on top of his, and pulled the blanket over the two of you.
You let out a shaky sigh and felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and onto Sirius’ chest.
“Uhm...” James said loudly, looking over to both Regulus and Remus cuddled in a large plush chair from his place on the loveseat with Lily like ‘are you seeing this right now?’. “I think you’ve got the wrong wizard there, L/N.” He said with a nervous laugh.
“No, she’s quite alright.” Sirius gritted back at him, looking far more severe than James thought the situation called for as he rubbed his hand consolingly up and down your arm.
James looked to your boyfriends, his face clearly asking all the questions that his mouth wasn’t.
“He helps, sometimes.” Regulus admitted, not looking particularly happy that you chose his brother over him, but not nearly as murderous as James figured he might look if he’d found Lily snuggled up like that with some other bloke. And it appeared as though the look of heartbreak on Remus’ face was caused more by your current sorry state and less about your current cuddle partner.
“But...your brother?” James asked, still befuddled over this development. “Doesn’t she usually go to Junior for things like this?”
Sirius scoffed. “Junior’s solution to almost anything is fire or murder.”
“Or both.” You whimpered quietly, causing Sirius to tighten his arm around you and bring his other hand up to continue stroking your arm.
“Besides, Barty’s an only child.” Regulus said flippantly.
“What’s that got to do with it?” James asked, slightly offended at the insinuation that anything may be wrong with him on account of his only child-ness.
Regulus’ irritable demeanor over Sirius usurping you was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk at getting under James’ skin.
“Let me ask you this, Potter: last summer when Lily returned your letters unopened and called you an arrogant toerag after saying she’d rather date the giant squid, whose arms did you cry into?”
“He didn’t cry.” Lily laughed at the same time as James answered “Sirius’” without any hesitation.
“What?” Lily asked, looking slightly horrified that she may have actually hurt James’ feelings.
“Oh, all the time, every time, actually.” James said readily.
“He got snot on so many of my favourite band-tee’s, Red. As a matter of fact, I expect retribution.” Sirius commented.
“And why do you think you cried into Sirius’ arms?” Regulus continued.
“Well...because he’s my best mate.” James said simply.
“You may think that’s the reason, but you’re wrong. It’s because Sirius is an older brother.”
James scoffed at that. “Please, that has nothing to do with it!”
“Have you ever cried in Remus’ arms?”
“No, but-”
“Pettigrew’s?”
James grimaced but answered honestly. “No.”
“No. Because they’re not older brothers.” Regulus said definitively.
“That actually makes sense...” Lily mused aloud.
“You say that like you’re surprised, Evans. I know you’re not used to good idea’s coming out of men’s mouths, but I do assure you it happens more frequently than you might imagine.” Regulus taunted, earning him a pillow being hurled at his head.
Much to James’ chagrin, his seeker reflexes caught the pillow before it made impact with his face.
“Tosser.” James grumbled.
“Would you guys shut up.” Sirius whispered, causing everyone to look over at you.
Regulus couldn’t even find it in him to be miffed when he saw you sleeping what looked to be quite peacefully in Sirius’ arms. Your eyes were slightly swollen from your tears, and he could see the tracks they had left on your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose, but you looked so content.
“So... all big brothers know how to do that?” James asked incredulously.
“I doubt it.” Sirius commented quietly.
“Only ones who know what it’s like to live in a Pureblood hellscape and needed to share his bed with his younger brother who was too scared to sleep on his own for years.” Regulus added quietly, staring unseeingly towards you and Sirius. Remus pulled Regulus tighter into his side and began rubbing his arm consolingly.
Suddenly, things started to make a little more sense to James.
“I’ll write to mum.” James stated, causing both brothers, Lily, and Remus to look at him bemusedly.
“About what?” Remus asked finally.
“Y/N staying with us.” James said simply.
Regulus opened his mouth ready to argue; to argue that James didn’t have to and that he already took in both Sirius and Regulus. James didn’t owe Regulus anything.
But Sirius spoke first.
“She should be with her big brother, Reggie.” Sirius said, shooting him an encouraging smile and wink.
And seeing how your breathing had fallen even with your mouth slightly ajar as you clutched to the fabric of Sirius’ jumper like it was a lifeline, who was Regulus to argue?
#ask elle#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#regulus black#sirius and regulus#regulus deserved better#poly!moonwater#poly!moonwater x reader#poly!moonwater x you#poly!moonseeker#poly!moonseeker x reader#poly!moonseeker x you#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#regulus black x reader#regulus black x you#remus lupin x regulus black#Sirius Black being everyone's big brother#ellecdc fics
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𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲
✰ characters ✰ 𝐘. 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧
✰ summary ✰ don’t say things you don’t mean, unless you do mean them. in that case eren can fulfil all your requests (f!reader)
✰ tags/warnings ✰ nsfw, ex!eren, alcohol use, degradation, spanking, daddy kink, cum eating, squirting. praise kink, overstimulation, pussy licking
✰ kyun’s note ✰ it’s been long overdue, two long fics in a row is tough gang dont do this at home. also sorry for any spelling mistakes i am sleep derived
it was definitely a good idea to go out with the girls
it was probably a bad idea to not send eren home with all the drinks you had earlier clouding your judgment
it was absolutely going to hurt in the morning but that is the last thing that's on your mind right now it will be a problem for later
you and eren had gotten together in high school and stayed together for the duration of high school. the both of you being fairly well known though he was more popular than you were.
the both of you had different passions and wanted to peruse different careers. him wanting to play basketball professionally and you didn’t really want to have a boring 9-5 either so you chose to be an influencer.
you both supported each other and both of you became very successful in what you did. eren signing with a good team and you having nearly up to a million followers. you made sure to go to every one of his games and he would be sure to mention you on his socials and even point to you at games.
the two of you even had a child together who both of your fans adored. you had him early in both of your careers and had enough money to support him growing up, the two of you thought that you would be able to live the rest of your lives as a family.
that was until about 4 years later when eren’s schedule became to hectic and he spent more time practicing and being out of the country for games to even be home with you, there was a gradual build up to that which you thought you could get through but in the end you realised it was too much for you and he accepted that.
in the end the both of you decided to spilt apart as is was just too much on you. both of your fan bases were sad to see their favourite couple break apart but you assured them that it was mutual and the two of you ended on good terms, deep down you still loved him but you let him go knowing it was for the better.
eren always made sure to send money to support both him and you even though you told him that he didnt need to send you money as well. he also did regular calls to check in to see how the both of you were doing, and when he was back in the country he made sure to see you if he could spending time with his son and even you.
you know he loved his son from the way he would always get souvenirs from countries when he was out and even got some jerseys from his sons favourite players even if he did pout complaining because he wasn’t his favourite.
this went on for about a year and it worked really well for the three of you, your sons fifth birthday passed with eren doing his all to be there buying him an expensive gift that your son absolutely loved. eren had lately had been spending more time over due to the season, there not being a lot of games and you decided you wanted to go out since it had been a while.
eren has said he would take care of your son while you went out with your friends saying that you deserved the time to have fun. he took your son over to his house so that you could get ready in peace telling you he would keep him for the weekend so you could relax.
once the both of them had left the house you called both sasha and mikasa telling them the plans and they decided to come over to help you get ready. they arrived soon with their things and the three of you started to get ready.
you had your hair and make up done all that was left was your outfit. you had no idea what to wear as it had been a long time since you had gotten dressed up like this, the girls made their way to you closet and started picking through your stuff looking for something for you to wear.
being pregnant had made big changes to you body which left you feeling less than confident after your giving birth but as the years went by some changes left and some stayed. for one your tits and ass filled out as well as you hips getting wider giving you a near hourglass figure.
you were pretty self conscious about your body but everyone around you encouraged you to embrace your new body as they said it made you look sexy and you believed them, looking at yourself differently you loved your new self.
the girls had picked out a dress you don’t even remember buying. a long-sleeve red dress that stopped just under you ass with red cross slits trailing down the side exposing some skin. you paired it with a classic set of black heels and a red bag to match.
the other two were also ready when you had finished getting dressed so you made sure you had everything you needed and sasha drove you to the club blasting music all the way there.
you got into the flub with no problem all of you being over the required age and the three of you went to get drinks to start your night off, weaving your way through the bustling crowd and over to the bar where you all order your first round of drinks keeping you tab open just in case you want to get more.
you and mikasa take a few more shots sasha only having a few being your designated driver for the night not that she really needed any as she would be asked to have just as much fun either way. after you finished your drinks the three of you moved over into the dancing crowd losing yourselves to the music.
you swung your body to the beat of the music sasha in front and mikasa behind you, your as shaking with every sway of your hips. you could tell that many men wanted to join you but you could see both of the girls pushing the away as they know about your lingering feelings for eren.
the song changes and you recognise it as ‘mad at me by sexxy red’ realising that you know the lyrics and you start singing it along with the others in the room, knowing it lyric for lyric shaking your ass to the beat people around you dancing to the music.
when the next line come on you shout it out like there's no tomorrow “fuck me like you mad at me baby, I need a freak to drive me crazy!” and you sing the rest of the song with the same passion until it finishes and you’re out of breath.
the next song plays and you feel all the energy you had from before now depleted and decide to go pay for your last drink of the night leaving sasha and mikasa on the dance floor.
it didn’t take long for you to reach the bar and pay but on your way back to the girls some one stopped you trying to pull you for a dance. but you quickly pushed them away not in the mood walking to your friends even faster.
you get to the girls in record speed in no time though all the remaining energy you had no completed, the girls notice this and decide it’s time for you all to go home.
you drip mikasa home first knowing she has to go to bed for work in the morning. and then sahsa takes you back to your house with you dozing off on the way back. you didn’t even realise that you had faleen asleep until you felt sasha gently shake you awake.
thanking her for the ride home you wish her a safe journey back walking up to your front door, stumbling on the short walk due to the alcohol still flowing in your system. checking the time to see that it was almost past midnight and you know that your son should have gone to bed ages ago feeling bad that you couldn’t tell him goodnight.
when you walk in it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the light which you were sure you turned off when you left, squinting only to see a figure sitting on the couch. you take off your heels setting them to the side and look up to see the figure still there.
once your eyes get accustomed to the light you realise that’s it’s eren sitting there who has been sitting there staring up at you since you walked in, and you think maybe you’re just hallucinating from the alcohol in your system but upon further inspection you realise that he’s actually there.
“eren? what are you doing here? where’s my baby?”
for a second he doesn’t say anything and just eyes you up but then he speaks up.
“c’mere here baby”
the space between you brows crease at the pet name but you move towards him nonetheless, coming to stand up in from of him looking down at him.
“I dropped him off at my mums place, don’t worry about him for now”
he gently pulls you down to straddle you making your dress ride up a little bit, leaving the two of you face to face. you don’t instantly question his actions but your face conveys your confusion, but instead of saying anything he just sits there rubbing slowly up and down your thighs spread over him.
“what’s going on, is something wrong?”
but instead of answering your question he laughs and pulls out his phone swiping though as if looking for something.
“how about you tell me what this is about first”
you’re confused at first but then once the video starts playing your eyes widen in shock. it’s a video of you in the club singing to “mad at me” shouting the lyrics to the song.
“wanna explain this to me”
he’s still smiling as he says it and you know there's no way to get out of this. there's no possible excuse he would believe after seeing that, which brings up the question of where he got it from.
“who took this video and how do you have it”
he turns off his phone slipping it back into his joggers the action causing you to shift in too of him, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as to not fall off him.
“it was posted online and someone sent it to me, and don't try change the subject. what’s this about you wanting to fuck. if you wanted some dick all you had to do was say so princess. you know i never say no to you baby”
in truth it had been a while since you were active, though it was mainly because of your lack of time due to taking care of you son as well as working.
part of it had to do with the fact that no dock would be able to compare to eren's. the way he would fuck you was to good for you to ever try it with anyone else.
you had kind of missed this intimate part of your relationship, you knew eren wasn’t the type of guy to sleep around and you are sure if he did you would have found out by now and you didn’t want to seem to desperate by asking him about his life without you as you respected his privacy as he did yours.
“why you silent for pretty, aint got nothing to say or did you really mean what you said. what was it again, you wanted me to fuck you like I was mad at you cause I can do that baby if it’s what you want, do you want that?”
as you contemplate your answer you notice his hands don’t stop but smile drops a serious look falls over his face. he probably knows that your drunk and no os giving you a way out of this.
knowing him if you said no he would step back and act as if it didn’t happen. the thing is that you do want this to happen, maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact that you’re just really pent up and horny but you don’t see a reason to decline his offer.
you nod your head to agree but he doesn’t seem satisfied with that hands stopping to grip at your thighs squeezing them lightly.
“no princess, I need words. you say yes we continue. say no and I’ll take you to bed and go back home, answer me properly”
knowing this is your last chance to back out you appreciate his efforts in order to confirm your consent and it just gives you even more reason to say yes, knowing that he’s being respectful even though he couldn’t have done what he wanted knowing you have no way of defending yourself in this state.
“yes eren, I want this. I want you. fuck me please, i need you“
you hardly have time to register what’s happening before he’s lifting you up and making his way to your old shared bedroom. you wrap you legs around his firm torso and cling onto him tighter, even though you know that there no way he will drop you.
“only since you asked me so nicely, I’ll give you what you need don’t worry baby”
the two of you reach the bed room in record speed and eren gently sets you down on the edge of the bed kneeling down in front of you both of his hands still on the side of your thighs looking up at you with a mischievous grin.
his mouth latches onto you barely clothed sex sucking on your clit in a way that has you gasping out in ecstasy. it’s no lie to say that eren knows every inch of your body inside and out. he knows all the things that make you squirm and scream. where to touch and lick as well as h to e spots indie you that make your arch into his touch.
he moves on from sucking on your clit like a mad man thirsting for water and moves down to you dripping whole, sinking his tongue into your tight heat that hadn’t had any attention for a while. not that there weren’t a few visits from your bullet vibrator it just couldn’t make you cum the way you did when eren would fuck you.
“fuck, she really missed me didn’t she ma?”
the way he’s talking to your pussy has you rolling your eyes, but they then roll for a different reason as he adds one finger teasing his way inside of you alongside his hot tongue. “oh fuck, ‘ren don’t stop please” your hand reaches for his head gripping his hair causing it to fall loose as you pull his face further into your cunt.
both his tongue and fingers pistoling into you at a harsh pace so he not surprised when you end up cumming into his mouth as he starts to suck on your clit. he doesn’t stop scissoring his fingers inside you until you stop cumming and your moans die out, though your legs still tremble slightly due to the force of your orgasm.
“we aint done yet princess, you said you wanted to be fucked right and that’s what you’ll get. flip over”
you may be a bit drunk but that doesn’t stop you from turning over at the speed of light making you a bit lightheaded but you do regret it as you miss when eren pulls of his top and steps out his trousers and boxers, kneeling back behind you slapping his cock against your ass cheeks.
“you ready for me baby?”
he watches as you nod your head eagerly and lines his cock up with your pussy sliding in with predicted ease, filling out all the way to the hilt. both of you let out moans of pleasure “fuck- I missed you” you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or your pussy but you’re to full and stretched out to care. it would be an understatement to say that you also missed the fill of his cock. it was more like the longer you were apart the more you craved to feel him.
he was feeling sympathetic knowing that it had been a while since you had fuck him, or anyone for that matter, but when you start to rock back into him letting out small mewls of pleasure he decides not to hold back. “such a desperate whore, you cant wait to fuck yourself on my cock huh?” his words are accompanied by a hard slap to your ass causing your movements to stagger with a loud moan of “f-fuck, you’re taking too long”
he lets you move as you please for a few more moments before growing impatient and gripping your waist slamming his hips into yours. “d-daddy- fuckk!” you cant see it but you can hear the smirk as he says “you like it when daddy fucks you like this don’t you?” as he sends another harsh thrust you way, rocking the bed with the force of his thrust.
he continues with his timely thrust with the occasional slap to your ass, oscillating between that or squeezing it in both hands and playing with the fat. he can feel the way you clam down on him when he does that, knowing your body inside and out plays well in is favour, not so much in yours.
he spares no energy with is thrusts as he knows you like it when he's rough with you, fucking you into the soft sheets wit vigour, deep strokes hitting your cervix every time, the tip brushing against your sweet spot on every quick roll of his hips.
he's not surprised when he begins to hear your familiar slurred pleas of " daddy please. 's too much. slow down" to which he does the opposite and uses one and to steady your waist and the other one to hold your neck keeping your back arced "remember, you asked for this princess," your unable to move, sheets bunched up in your hands, hips held high by him, face pressed into the bed.
"made it loud and clear waat you wanted and now im giving it to you"
the slick sounds of sex circulate the room, your nonsensical moans bouncing off the walls in the room along with his skin slapping against yours as he hammers is cock into your dripping pussy. "since you asked for it m sure you can take it like a good girl cant you? noting you havent done before"
you can feel is cock start to pulse inside you and you know that he's close , and you're on the verge of release, with the way eren's pounding into you you doubt you'll be able to last much longer as well as the fact that its been ages since your last fuck, which was eren.
"next time you want something, just fucking ask"
the last three words of his sentence are each punctuated with a harsh trust, sending you over the edge as you begin to squirt all over is cock and onto the sheets below you. he can feel the way your pussy spasms around is cock as he fucks you through your orgasm, slowing down to ease you through it.
"that's it cum on daddy's cock, its all fucking yours baby, nobody can have me but you"
its only a couple more languid trusts until he's spilling is hot seed inside you with a groan of your name on his lips, hips stuttering as his grip tightens enough in a way you're sure will leave marks in the morning, body doubling over your trembling frame while he locks his hips with yours, emptying is tick load deep into your pussy.
only wen he's sure that there's no more does e finally pull out of your near limp body and gently rolls you over onto your back. peppering kisses down your torso till he settles between your legs were he begins to suck the cum out of you, causing your legs to clam around is head.
"nononono- fuck. i cant, s too much no more."
he's relentless not stopping even as your and tug at his air, pushing is tongue deep into your pussy and licking your mixed juices out of you. "just one more baby, i know you can give it to me" he's not wrong as only a second after he presses his thumb to your clit, you're cumming for the third time that evening shaking in is hold.
after tat e makes sure to clean you out as best as he can, dressing you into comfortable clothes. after cleaning himself he carries you to the guest bedroom and tucks you in deciding to leave until you reach out to him pulling him back.
he ends up wit is arms wrapped around you and your head tucked underneath is, drifting into a deep sleep. you're sure that in the morning the two of you will have a lot of things to talk about.
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍
#✰𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒✰#eren x black reader#eren smut#eren aot#eren x reader#eren yeager#eren jaeger x reader#aot smut#aot#black y/n#black reader#black women#eren yaeger smut#eren jaeger smut#eren jaeger#eren x you#eren x black fem!reader#aot x black y/n#aot x reader#aot x black reader#aot x y/n#aot x you#aot x female reader
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Wahoo here's confession part 2! So grateful for the response to the first part thanks so much :3 Enjoy!
Part 1
Kks: Yo, wobbleknees Gai: Very funy Kks: Here, let me see
Gai: Since when can you-? Kks: Sakura was excited to show me. I can only manage scrapes, so don't trip and get impaled anytime soon
Gai: Kakashi Kks: Yeah? Gai: Were you...
Gai: Being serious before? Because regardless of reciprocation, I hold the deepest affection and care possible for you very much. As a rival, friend, but also in that way as well. Just to be clear. Kks: It wasn't a joke
Kks: I'm sorry. I didnt plan on doing that but...What's the point of denying it now if you're staying anyways. I'm attracted to you, Gai. You're really the only person I can see myself trusting with that. I've regretted so much lately. I failed my team so miserably they fell apart. I wish I could have that time together back. I already regret wasting so much time avoiding you in the past. So, yeah... I know I'm a pain to deal with, but... If you want that too, th-
Gai: Every single second we've spent together I truly cherish. To have this honor of being entrusted with your heart...
Gai: I always want to be by your side, Kakashi, My man of destiny Kks: How can you say shit like that so easily?
[kks' stomach gurgles] [gai chuckles] Kks: Sorry to ruin the emotional moment. Little nerve wracking [Gai laughs]
Gai: I'll Let that go, but... May I take you on a date? Kks: ok. Gai: Really? Kks: I'm off for a few days, so why not? You'll make it interesting Gai: Excellent!
Gai: I FEEL REJUVENATED THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH’S FIREY PASSION FLOWING THROUGH ME
Gai: Oo!! Nearly forgot. Rival, May I kiss you? Kks: Long as your kids don't pop out, go for it Gai: Are you ok? Why are you sweaty? Kks: Whatever. just get on with it
Gai: Yosh! Turn your brain off for a moment, rival
Gai: SO-! Tomorrow then! Kks: Mhm
Gai: Night, 'Kashi! I could run 100 laps right now! Kks: Gai, your lip is bleeding Gai: HAHA! Always looking out for me!! That's my kakas-OOF![Gai falls] I'm ok! [gai's footfalls exit]
[kks chuckling] Kks: URK! [strained] stomachache. [happy hum] What the fuck have I done, mr turtle.
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You're daughter has been restless recently, and despite starting to get too old for it, she's started asking to sleep in your bed with you. Of course, you want to take care of your darling little girl so you let her.
The two of you have always been confortable with each others bodies, after all, why shouldnt you be, you raised her. Since its been so hot, the two of you have been sleeping in the nude. The only thing is, she's started to rub her ass against your cock at night while you hold her. You know it's not her fault, and she's just a growing girl, and you know it's wrong but you can't help but get rock hard every time it happens.
One night, she's rubbing her little pussy against your cock, getting harder by the moment, and you can't take it any more. You know it's wrong, but you're so fucking horny and you know you can manipulate her into doing more for you.
"My baby, are you ok? You're moving funny, is everything ok my sweet?" You ask her.
"I'm sorry mommy, my princess parts just feel funny, they feel all warm." she whines.
You know this is your opportunity, "I'm sorry my baby, but dont worry, thats perfectly normal for growing girls like you. You know, mommy actually knows a way that lots of mommy's help their daughters with this"
"Ok mommy, thank you mommy," she replies.
You take your rock hard cock, and position it between your baby's legs, pressing it between her pussy lips, almost kissing her clit. "Ok baby, I'm just gonna move my cock, just like that. Now you can keep rocking yourself ok?"
Your beautiful little girl starts rocking her hips back and forth into you, her tight little pussy rubbing against your cock. You can feel her pussy getting wetter, starting to leak slick onto your cock, lubricating you and making it feel so much fucking better.
"Mff my baby how is that? Are you feeling any better my love?" You ask, knowing full well all you've done is made your little girl hornier.
"I don't know mommy," she says, small moans breaking her words, "I still feel funny down there, and now I feel all wet like I peed, but I know I didnt mommy."
"Well," you say, coyly, "mommy knows something that helps with that. It might be a little weird at first, but I promise all mommy's do this for their babies." You grab your daughters hips, stopping her from grinding. She whines softly, not even fully understanding why. You slide your already slick cock back, and find the entrance to her soft, tight pussy. You hesitate a moment. If you do this, there's no going back. You do this, and you'll be having incestuous sex with your own daughter, raping her before she even knows what sex is. You can't help it. Slowly, you slide your cock into her wet pussy.
"Mommyyyy" your daughter whines, "what are you doing, that hurtsss"
"I know baby, I know. Just wait a little while it'll be ok I promise. Little girls do this with their mommies all the time, you'll be ok" you reassure her, slipping deeper and deeper into her fresh, wet cunt. Soon, you bottom out in your daughter, your whole length buried in her slit. This promps your baby to whine again. Despite the pain, she starts to rock her hips again, fucking herself onto your cock. You're hit with waves of pleasure and shame, knowing that you're raping your little girl that treats you completely, while manipulating her into thinking it's right and normal.
"Mommyyy" your daughter whines, breaking you out of your spiraling thoughts "I still feel funny down there, I need help" she cries.
"Shhh shh sh don't worry baby don't worry I got you baby" you coo back, giving her little kisses on the back of her head, "just hold still baby, let mommy take care of it."
Youre past the point of no return. Past the point of caring. Your daughter is begging you for help, and you've deluded even yourself into thinking what comes next is ok. You grab your daughters hips, and start fucking her. Slow at first, you pull your cock out nearly all the way, before slowly edging it back in. With every thrust you get faster, and every thrust elicits a new moan from your little girl. Soon enough, your fucking your daughter hard and fast, raping her little cunt for your pleasure while she moans under you. Completely out of control now, you grab one of your daughters tits, rolling her nipple in your hand as you keep fucking into her. You treat her body like your personal toy, pent up after days of feeling her rubbing her fat ass against your rock hard cock.
Over and over you thrust into her, hearing her moan with every thrust. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" She cries, moans interrupting her words "Mommy I feel funny, uhmf, something is happening"
"It's ok baby just let it happen, just let it pass it'll be ok I promise you'll like it," you tell her. Your little girls first orgasm, and it will be from her own mothers cock. The thought is too much to bear, prompting your own orgasm to approach. You feel your baby's pussy tightening around your cock, knowing her orgasm is about to arrive.
"Mommyyyyy!!" Your daughter shouts, her cunt clenching onto your cock as her body is wracked with her first orgasm.
"Fuck!" you grunt out, before you unload into your own daughters womb, impregnating her with her own siblings.
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