#i desperately don't want to name these planets. but i can't keep avoiding it. i can't. i just need to bite the bullet and do it.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

worst part of writing star trek fic, you ask? easy. naming things. planets? they need a name. sometimes, they need two - both what the locals call the planet and the 'official designation' (usually [star name] [planet number from star in roman numeral form], which would make Earth Sol III).

which means that I a) need to come up with a local planet name (which has to then fit into a cohesive linguistic system with whatever names i give individual aliens and settlements, while also not being too weird of a false cognate with anything on earth) and also b) name a star. which, if i want to be autistic about things, means combing through actual star charts and trying to figure out what stars are a reasonable distance away. (i will perish if i do this. simply waste away. and i know i don't need to, but by god do i feel like i should) (and if i'm real unlucky i'll wind up picking one that would be lousy to have a planet around, so i also need to make sure that the star has a stable orbit and won't explode any time soon.)

and THEN, I still have to deal with naming all the individual aliens!! which, i remind you, must be done with consideration of the planet name, to make sure they could conceivably come from the same language.

and i also need to name whatever random crew members appear! and, because i like diversity, i try to avoid giving my ensigns the same five white-people names, which means i get to comb through like. the end credits of movies and old year books. to try to find good names that show that starfleet isn't made Exclusively of mid-westerners and californians. can't even really look things up easily because finding last names is so much harder than finding first names, and if i'm not careful, i'll wind up with the World's Most Stereotypical Name on my hands, which. might be worse than not including diverse names in the first place.

[necroangelz]

haiy ., 🪽 pleas😓‼️ /nf

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

I'll be discussing a newer oc in this post, riamu yumemi......! yea she's based on the im@s character so what... i used the character's name and used her appearance as inspo as well but that's about it. others may find unintentional similarities between the two though

i know nothing about im@s riamu it just... felt right to me to make the oc based on her ig? idk anyway here we go

picrew linkie melanin added by yours truly

so this riamu is a mad scientist girly who is absolutely Not professional enough for her job! she never follows lab safety precautions, none of her experiments are legal, she constantly causes explosions or invents a new virus on accident or creates deadly military weapons and she's an absolute liability to the corporation she works for. not that they can fire her though :) she's too valuable to them :) and bad things will happen if they fire her :)

not only that but she's also a nightmare to be around

she has very volatile and explosive mood swings and sometimes lies about shit for fun and makes people vaguely uncomfortable and she kiiinddd offf has a god complex?? but come on she's just a silly hyper girly :3 she's not really mean to people she's just .... a lot to handle and overwhelming

riamu is obsessed with presenting herself in a certain way, rn she's trying to present herself as a quirky and cutesy anime girl. she dyed her hair to stand out more and she dresses up in jfashion... even when she's at work. its obvious she forces herself to behave differently too. she forces herself to be outspoken, bubbly, charismatic, and basically just super duper different. she wants to stand out and make an impression on people's minds and god she does it so well. her behavior gets on people's nerves but lots of people end up being intrigued and drawn to her even tho they dislike her. so instead of disliking her they end up loving her too

speaking of love riamu is . absolutely desperate for love but she can't keep a relationship to save her life. instead she chases after unattainable beings that she can't even date, including:

1. the cute lady who recently gained superpowers and goes around and fights crime (i inserted this character bc i thought it would be funny to make this a universe with like stereotypical superheroes and villains and shit). riamu is very obsessed with her and claims that the superhero is in love with her too but that's... really not how it is. riamu keeps a collection of "proofs" proving the superhero reciprocates her feelings and she's really just reaching so hard man. the superhero avoids fighting riamu and battling her because any interaction or confrontation at all will just enforce riamu's beliefs that they're in love

2. an AI system created by one of her co-workers that's meant to help around the laboratory. riamu please stop trying to seduce the lab's AI and turn it evil. it cannot feel any type of attraction and it would be largely inconvenient if it attempted to commit omnicide against humans and the whole planet

3. speaking of AIs that commit omnicide riamu also has a fictional crush on AM from i have no mouth and i must scream.

that's all i have to say for now about riamu. extra fun facts about her:

- she permanently cured her own bad eyesight on her own but she still wears glasses as an accessory

- she wears an eyepatch sometimes but everyone knows damn well she doesn't need one

- some comments her co-workers have made about her: "i don't like thinking about her." "she's fun but... you really can't take her anywhere." "id say she'd be benefited by therapy but nothing can help her anymore." "she owes the corp 10 zillion dollars" "i think everyone should be less critical of her" "the other day she tried to stab everyone in the room and then herself. this isn't the first time this happened." "she's helped the entire country with her innovations but also she's capable of destroying the whole planet" "she's a genius! :3" "I'm subscribed to her onlyfans"

okay that's all goodbye!

[icefrozendeadlyqueen]

Collision - Prologue │ Viking Show

A/N: I try to keep they/them throughout. 

Warning: Death. Violence.

Word count: 2354

~~~~~~~~XXXX~~~~~~~

X's POV

Snow crunches under our feet. Silence filled the empty words neither spoke like a none visible lullaby scream that couldn't be heard. 

Wind between us surrounded each of our steps without a mere word; I had assured (y/n) we would come out unscathed.

It was a promise, and I never fucked up promises. They are the only thing I have left in this none sequential world.

I assured (y/n) that I had to be helpful wherever I could scrub in my senses, unbiased by them or others, and secure despite my most reckless behavior. 

I had promised to assist them with any queries or concerns they made have through this journey; however, (y/n) ain't here in this little situation we found ourselves. X glances back at the pixie-like girl behind her holding a precious key between her injured hands; this is it finally, at one point our future becomes a determined bloodied mess, "Jade, I am sorry", I mumbled far beyond understanding. We are both fucked. Biblically so.

An alarm blasts in the background as x opens her eyes a ring hovers over herself. She blinks her eyes firmly no wind nor the sense of freedom everyone concerning the wind refers to. 

They wished to be birds in mere desperation to escape their destiny. The fate that had been written before them, x calls bullshit.

Nobody came around holding a gun to her temples assuring her to pick a side, nobody did. She chooses this side herself without another choice. People can't count on her for shit to provide a defeating and death-driven ending.

Despite the obvious whom she is inside and outside this futuristic hell hole. She knows down inside her. She isn't an anti-hero let alone a hero. 

She does not want anyone's safety or privacy is not her top priority all she cares about is surviving. This path she walks alone herself; this path will be the one to give her all the choices she so wishes. She is, after all, x.

One word that means nothing.

One letter that means everything.

In math, people seem to look for her. She hates math with a passion. In biology, fauna and flora seem to avoid her like the plague she is. A plague the existential crisis she preaches. She is what others don't understand. That is.

x walks the short 3 steps to her water bottle stopping her ownself monologue. She needs her head in the game before this collision ends them sooner. Last night, she was awoken to do a mission. In whispers with codes (y/n) told her to do a blind mission the epidemy and death of Dr. H. He has become a slack in their final unity.

x wore a long one-shoulder shirt with written words at the front, "Death do us part, or I might", a self-made shirt she did back before she went under. She had black skinny jeans with no shoes whatsoever. She felt as free as the snow crunch below her feet.

There can't be two masterminds in our midst. Only (y/n) can be standing; She is assigned to end the motherfuckers life as bloody as it needs to be. Basically, as sadistic as x wants it to be. We are in the middle of nowhere Antarctic in some glacier the only standing ground of this dead planet.

I will do everything in my power to ensure that (y/n) desires are made to come true. Dr. H or whomever his true name is will die by her hands. x has never failed a mission before, and she isn't starting now. 

She gulps down the bottle throwing the set plastic out in the recycle bin. She stares back into the starry skies, "Nights like this recover me some. Today is the day. I am taking that meat bag down". x mumbles under her breath, she swings her fingers along the wind as ice particles escape her hands.

"Dance along the wind just like Freedom you extinguish the fire, you stop electricity in its path, you exterminate the earth we stand, you are a plague, sweetheart. You are death", (y/n) announced only to two, they crossed their arms, a stare raising one eyebrow and looking past x towards the night.

"They don't exist you know. It was hard to acquire, but we did", (y/n) starts off taking a couple steps forward. x doesn't move seating down on the snow crunching it as she goes. The snow forms an ice platform keeping her back in place.

"right.. I ain't moving until there is proof of purchase". x blurts not bothering to look back. Her brown eyes stare into the full moon shining back at her. (y/n) stares as particles of snow dance between them and past them, "Twilight Saga first edition books. They are in the storage room next to your bed. We added a midnight sun too". (y/n) stops walking altogether; their words reach their target as x lips curl into an evil grin.

(y/n) wore a full fledge winter suit covering every part of their body from the coldness that was their inhabited planet

"How roasted do you want him? How dead do you need him". x uttered the wicked words not waiting for a response. She lifted herself up by pushing ice into the cliff she now stood at. Her fingers graced the ice with a smile, "Well done", (y/n) mutters, they turn to walk inside the cold isn't exactly their favorite season. X runs past them on her way to make sure her payment has been fulfilled for her to end the dumbs Doctor's H life is everything she couldn't get before the world went to literal hell. It ended before she could buy her own copy of Twilight Saga hardcover. She had the 130 bucks for it too.

Now that she had the chance to gain her very own first edition twilight saga full series; she will not give up such a gift. All she had to do is kill Dr. H. That's all -- no biggy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ashla’s pov.

Fortified metal from right to left; ahead and behind Ashla could see. This is our storage room for things that need to be kept cold. 

This planet has a dysfunctional temperature most times is unbearably hot beyond words could explain.

Ashla leans on the wall; she glances right seeing a blue and white hammock near it standing 3 boxes on top of each other with the color title to be read list. A single golden locket sat on the hammock unharmed by the elements.

Ashla wore thick black jeans with black combat boots. A cream long sleeves polo shirt with a black winter coat that comes to her waist that has cat prints inside the hoodie area added fur.

Ashla crosses her arms holding x's payment. Each raid this past couple of months looking for an intact first edition twilight saga book. Footsteps made Ashla look ahead towards the wide-open door; frost form onto the fortified metal as a brunette hair and brown eyes girl wearing no shoes with her outfit. 

A wide smile covers her lips as she catches the books in my hand. The payment. x wore a long one-shoulder shirt with written words at the front, "Death do us part, or I might", a self-made shirt she did back before she went under. She had black skinny jeans with no shoes whatsoever.

"What happened to your shoes?". Ashla mumbles under her breath. Ice particles escape her lips in the direction of x. She stood on the doorframe.

"I never wear them. They end up breaking 90% of the time". X blurts like that's a fact everyone should know. She takes a step forward snow forming below her feet; she stops staring at Ashla, "Sorry. I should not have run here". Ashla rolls her eyes dropping the books on top of her TBR boxes.

"You are blaming it on running?". Ashla blurts pushing the hood down to cover her hair. Her blue contacts stare at her brown eyes for a mere second before moving back to the frozen meats on the shelves, "You dont want your own room?". Ashla blurts, her head turned back to X tip-toeing like a tik-tak-toe idiot.

"What are you doing?". Ashla adds not sure wanting to know the thought process for this whole situation.

"Tiptoe my way to my bed once I seat down ice will go away." x blurts out, not bothering to put facts to her words. Ashla rolls her eyes staring at x's failure to attempt to stop frost forming throughout the storage room.

One foot up slowly putting one toe down then using her hands to move herself with ice placing another toe ahead of the other one. Her brown orbs intently stare then shoot her arms up blurting a simple, "I did it!".

"Fucking retard". Ashla calls out. She stares at x shaking her head, "You made me lose 25 minutes of my life I will never get back". Ashla replies not bothering to look at the frozen meat or x.

"There is my locket". x grabs the golden locket within her grasp. She put the locket around her neck, a sentimental smile covering her lips not bothering to look up, "I wish you had woken Jade up".

"Your younger sister hates (y/n) to death. Remember last time you got scratched by a Vampire?". Ashla affirms in small notes. She shook her head trembling within, "Your sister beat the shit out of mine for a scratch".

"I would freeze the world for her". x mumbles.

"Too late. You awake makes ecosystems freeze over in existential dread". Ashla rolls her eyes adding the mere thought. X laughs out loud at the term, "We need a fire humanoid to melt away your ice". Ashla blurts.

"I have never been awake without Jade since the incident". x said.

She ponders on that thought as both girls stood silently in the freezer. She glances over to the left of a room close down with 17 locks.

"I need Jade". x pleads a single tear fell from her cheeks though it froze completely cracking onto the metal floors.

“You can get Jade after the mission is done".

"Promise?". x blurts questioning the effect and sight."I will. Promise on (y/n)'s life". Ashla proclaims. Her cheeks were down her eyebrows normal. X grins, holding the locket tightly to her chest, "I have a bad feeling without Jade here."

"Stop being superstitious like last time. You are going to be fine". Ashla blurts pointing to the wide open door. She takes a deep breath with difficulty.

"You will have Jade in your arms tomorrow morning just get rid of Dr. H. You will be able to search this world with your sister," Ashla explains the pros of this decision. She takes another short breath hating how cold the room is.

"We can raid? For as long as we want?". x asks muttering a simple, "All right", under her breath. Ashla's heartbeat rings in x ears a short beat, no lies, she could catch.

"Yes, you will be in charge of raids means Jade and you will be able to raid for as long as you desired". Ashla blurts, and a cough escapes her lips. She takes a step as her shadows warp her outside the storage room for anything that needs to be cold -- freezer for short. x kneels and sticks a letter from her pockets onto her hammock.

"It's time?". x blurts. Her lips place a kiss on the locket as she leaves a letter on her hammock name written on it 'Jade' with a star made out of snow.

"Coming". x blurts standing up back again. She runs out ignoring the ice covering the halls following after Ashla. Darkness ahead while ice behind. A laugh escaped Ashla followed by x over exaggerated howls.

"Ladie-", The doors open widely. Dr. H didnt manage to finish his words nor turn completely around as x lunches forward fingers clench into a punch. Ice covers her hands as they contact Dr. H's face sending him flying backward.

"Your time is number, Dr. H". (y/n) mutters under her breaths loud enough for the present with acute hearing to listen. It was a mere coincidence. Dr. H coughs up his eyes glaring death at (y/n).

"I should have known something was up with all of you. You have been so nice to me more than your usual distaste; however, I didnt see you waking up another humanoid to do your dirty work". Dr. H exclaims loudly pronouncing every word. He spits blood. He trembles pressing onto his temples and fixing his glasses. He extends a hand holding it out for x to stop.

"You don't have to do this. I could go. I could leave".X swings her hands back -- ice starts forming in a thin form of a spear then forward towards Dr. H as he screams, "LISTEN! PLEASE!".

Silence filled the room like gasoline to a fire. It envelops us as drips fall from the now coated in blood. X was notorious for impaling people with a spear attack.

"To be clear, I wasn't going to lose my books to let him walk out unscathed". X proclaims her hands swing in ice particles.

(y/n) stares at Dr. H's lifeless body. His lips open wide frozen in whatever they were going to say. It was a mere agreement; the guilt none existent. They knew what they did always after a new Doctor comes around is a matter of chance that (y/n) will glow their sentence.

"Thank you, Winter", turns her head seeing them walking out of the room and saying what comes into their mind.

"Names x. I stop going by Winter after my parents died". x blurts pushing her short locks back. She seats up walking out of the room, "I am waking up Jade". Ashla calls out as x follows her out of the room knowing very well a promise is a promise.

In the room was left (y/n) and Ashla's father cleaned the blood from the room.

[colorfulbard]

I love you

Summary: After everything Levi told you about Eren, you had to for yourself if it was true. Even if it meant traveling to the hottest planet on the outer rim.

Pairing: Jedi!Eren x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, choking (not in a sexy way)

Words: 1.4k

A/N: This one-shot is based on this scene from star wars and it fit Eren pretty well in my opinion. I thought it'd be fun to celebrate may the fourth with a one-shot. All comments are appreciated even if I can't respond cause this is a side blog.

~~~~~

The real-life hellscape that was the planet Mustafar was no place for a pregnant woman. With lava erupting from its surface practically every second it was a wonder how there were any visitors at all. Yet, here you were, with C-3PO getting ready to land your ship down on one of the only safe spaces on this lava rock.

You sighed and rested your forehead against your hand. You never would've imagined such a happy pregnancy with a Jedi would lead to all of this. You were supposed to be resting to ensure the safe delivery of a healthy baby. But after everything Master Ackerman told you about Eren you couldn't just stand by and do nothing. You had to see for yourself if everything he said was true.

Tears began to cloud your vision when you spotted Eren just across a bridge. You had no idea if you were ready for this confrontation, but as you spotted him running towards your ship, you knew there was no turning back.

But even as fear began to settle in your bloated stomach, relief came as well. You hadn't seen him in so long. Despite all of the horrific stories Master Ackerman told you, you still longed to feel his arms around you once more.

You abandoned C-3PO in the ship and ran out to meet him halfway, just outside your ship. You didn't even give him time to fully look at you as you wrapped your arms around him. A pleasant sigh escaped you at the feeling of his arms around you.

"I saw your ship." Eren pulled away to look at you but kept his hands on your forearms. "What are you doing out here?" He asked. His brows were pinched together, concern laced his tone.

You held onto his biceps and felt your muscles tense at his question. Tears began filling your eyes again. "I was so worried about you. Levi told me terrible things," you said. Your head was shaking as you spoke as if you didn't want to believe anything he had told you.

At the mere mention of Levi's name, Eren's expression went dark. "What things?" He inquired. His tone was demanding. You almost had half a mind to step away from him but decided against it.

You felt nauseous while recalling everything he had told you before you came here. "He said... You've turned to the dark side... That you... Killed younglings." You had to pause between your words to control yourself. It was becoming impossible not to cry as you avoided Eren's eyes.

Eren shook his head and placed a hand on your cheek. You stopped yourself from flinching. His hand felt cold. Which was odd considering you were on one of the hottest planets on the outer rim.

"Levi is trying to turn you against me," he simply said while nudging your head up to look at him.

You rubbed your hands up and down his biceps in a soothing motion. "He cares about us," you persisted.

Eren took a moment to process your words. "Us?" He asked. He was referring to your secret relationship. It was common knowledge that Jedi were forbidden to form attachments, but Eren couldn't help himself. He had to have you.

You took a deep breath and nodded. "He knows. He wants to help you." You braced yourself to look into his eyes again, "Eren, all I want is your love."

Eren let his hand fall from your cheek to your belly, "love won't save you, Y/N. Only my new powers can do that." With these new powers, you knew he felt secure against these nightmares that had been plaguing him. He had told you that practically every night he dreamt you were in immense pain during childbirth and died.

You tried time and time again to reassure him that everything would be okay. If only you had been there when he was mulling over learning about this power you had no idea even existed. Levi had told you it was the power of Sith lords, to bring the dead back to life. Not much was known about the power, not even a successful attempt at its use.

Your fists clenched into his robes. "At what cost? You're a good person. Don't do this," you said desperately.

"I won't lose you the way I lost my mother." Eren's expression turned one of pain at the memories of his mother being slaughtered by Turkish warriors. He had received visions back then of that too, but it was too late by the time he traveled back home to her.

"I'm becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I'm doing it for you. To protect you," he said, bringing you closer to him.

You didn't like a single word that coming out of his mouth. They were unsettling. He sounded nothing like the man you met all those years ago. But you weren't about to give up yet. You brought your hands up around his neck and trailed them up to his hair.

You undid the hair tie tying it back and began to run your hands through his hair. "Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything behind while we still can," you persisted once more.

You brought his forehead down to rest against yours only for him to pull away. He held onto your hands while trying to meet your eyes. "Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be." He smiled at you, but this time it was different. It wasn't the same smile you fell in love with.

As he spoke those words you slowly stepped away. You hadn't wanted to believe him at the time, but Levi was right. Eren was different now and seeing him and hearing him talk only solidified that. You couldn't understand what was happening or why he turned this way. It was hard not to think that you might be at fault.

You shook your head, "I don't believe what I'm hearing... Levi was right. You've changed." Your voice was weak as the tears you tried so hard to keep at bay came out.

Eren tried hard to hide his anger at the mention of Levi's name again. His gaze went towards the ground as a means to control himself and then back to you. The anger hadn't diminished in the slightest and it was clearly evident on his face now.

"I don't want to hear any more about Levi. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me," he demanded. He took a step towards you only for you to keep backing away.

Tears freely ran down your cheeks. "I don't know you anymore. Eren, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow," you said. You felt as if you could feel your heart splitting in two.

Eren looked at you, betrayed. "Because of Levi?" He asked.

"Because of what you've done... What you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back! I love you." You cried while taking a tentative step forward.

Your words could've held some weight to them had Levi not stepped out onto the ship's ramp. Eren's eyes widened, but then soon turned angry when he saw him. Except the anger in his eyes was directed towards you. "Liar!" He yelled at you.

Your brows were pinched together in confusion until you turned back to see Levi standing there. You shook your head, "no!" You denied. You knew what was going through Eren's mind. He was thinking you were betraying him, but that was far from the actual truth.

"You're with him. You've betrayed me! You brought him here to kill me!" Eren raged. He raised one of his hands to choke you with the power of the force.

You instinctively brought your hands to your neck despite knowing there was nothing you could do to stop him. You managed to let out a weak 'no', but he wasn't letting up. Your consciousness began fading as his force grew stronger.

Levi began walking down the ramp of the ship at the sight of you gasping for air. "Let her go, Eren!" He demanded.

You attempted to call out to Eren one last time as your vision slowly went black. "Eren..." You whispered.

"Let. Her. Go." Levi demanded once more.

When he finally did you gasped for air and crumpled down to the ground. Your consciousness began to fade and that was the last time you ever saw Eren again.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[brightlotusmoon]

"It is a truism that there are people, particularly on social media, with whom one simply cannot reason. Hell, some of them aren’t even actual people, but rather bots whose very existence makes every other interaction suspect. And so we could certainly take worse counsel than to avoid wasting our precious little energies on those who make it clear that they do not share our core values, particularly online, and particularly when the values in question are equality, inclusion, respect, and the most basic, fundamental rights of every human being on the planet.

But I worry. I worry that our wholly understandable refusal to engage with one another will ensure that the bifurcation of us as a people, both as a purposeful political strategy by those in power domestically and as a means for external forces to "sow societal chaos and discord*” becomes permanent. And I worry about what it will do to our ability to evolve, both as individuals and as a society.

I look back on my life and I remember a lot of moments that I’d prefer to forget, and that I hesitate to share. I remember when I was fresh out of college and just starting out in business and one of the senior-most guys on my desk, a man I admired greatly, would make fun of the support staff by saying, “We hire the handicapped; they’re fun to watch.” I remember that I laughed. Not because I thought that I had to to keep my job, not because I felt pressured to do so, but because I thought it was funny.

I remember when the girls were tiny and we bought Katie a doll house, and it came with a family of dolls. I remember that I hadn’t noticed that I’d bought the one with the Black family until I’d brought it home and decided it was a happy mistake. But I also remember that when a guest saw it one day, they laughed and said, “Oh, look, the house came with help,” I chuckled, rolled my eyes, and carried on.

I remember when I screwed something up and thought it was funny to mockingly say, “I”m special. I ride the little bus and wear hockey equipment every day.”

I remember raising inordinate amounts of money, making speeches, pleading for pity, all in the name of finding a “cure” for autism, with no idea that the vast majority of the people for whom I was supposedly fighting desperately needed help and support, but had no desire to fundamentally change who they were.

That was ME. The me that you know, the one who fights like hell for equality and dignity and respect, started out as a person who mocked disability and allowed racial jokes to stand unchallenged in her own home. Who effectively silenced her daughter’s autistic peers. And who desperately needed interaction with people who were light years ahead of me to get me to where I am now. And it scares me, on so many levels, to think of how different my behavior might be had I not had those interactions.

Now I want to be as clear as humanly possible that I don’t mean to imply that we owe our time and energy to anyone, particularly those who deny others’ lived experience or excuse brutality or withhold justice or actively fight against equality. And I want to be even clearer that it is absolutely, positively not the job of the oppressed and marginalized to educate their oppressors and marginalizers. A thousand times no, no, and, just for good measure, hell no. No one is entitled to your labor.

But I do want to take a pause to consider what happens when the vast majority of us, particularly those of us with relative privilege who claim to be allies in the fight, simply stop talking to anyone who isn’t already standing shoulder to shoulder with us. What happens to the folks who might just have taken up the mantle of advocacy had they been exposed to a wider variety of people and perspectives? What happens to the ones who are never challenged to examine their own role in perpetuating the systems that keep us separated in the first place? My behavior changed because I had the opportunity to interact with people outside of the bubble in which casual bigotry and degradation and punching down for a laugh were perfectly acceptable. But what if I hadn’t?

Years ago, I became facebook friends with a particularly radical disabled activist who had taken me to task here on diary a number of times. At the time, a close friend asked what the hell I was thinking bringing them into my inner circle. They said something I’ll never forget: “Aren’t you going to be, like, so uncomfortable knowing that they’re seeing all your personal posts? You’re going to have to watch *everything* you say from now on.”

It wasn’t until I’d heard the thought that had been rattling around in my own head out loud that I’d realized just how important it was to be made uncomfortable. How vital it was to be "aware of everything I was saying.” How desperately so many of us needed - and still need - to widen our circles to let in precisely those about whose lives and opinions and reactions we should deeply care.

We can’t take up every fight, particularly not on social media. But I do hope that at least in our brick and mortar lives, we will keep finding avenues to connect, to talk, to learn, and to grow. Because the absence of connection has proven to be fertile ground for nothing but fear, hate, and further division — and we’ve had enough of those to last a lifetime.

* Full quote: "One of the ICA’s most important conclusions was that Russia’s aggressive interference efforts should be considered ‘the new normal.’ That warning has been borne out, as Russia and its imitators increasingly use information warfare to sow societal chaos and discord.” - Republican Senator Richard Burr of North Carolina, Chairman, Senate Intelligence Committee"

-

And now, me:

FYI, one of my mentors is the activist mentioned, Radical Neurodivergent K, who coined the term neurodivergence many years ago, who will indeed take you to task regardless of what your brain is. And it's only been since 2013 that I discovered I was autistic, but in that time I have experienced and listened to so many ways of thinking, I've put them all in a crucible, and I keep trying to explain that just because you know a thing it doesn't mean you have all the knowledge. You always have more to learn. Information changes, expands, updates, increases. It's really easy to be a hypocrite. You need to keep listening to yourself, and you can't just burst in to gatekeep no matter how you feel.

A good example might be: an "Aspie Supremacist" insisting I or other autistic fans can't make an autistic headcanon about a fictional character who displays autistic traits because, according to that gatekeeper, the character doesn't have all the "right" traits, meaning their own traits, because they still retain their Aspergers diagnosis. By itself this is deep internalized ableism, and now it's with the added insult of an outdated diagnosis connected to a eugenics program that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Because Aspergers Syndrome is autism full stop, and functioning labels don't work and are arbitrary. Nobody needs to be that haughty or condescending to another neurotribe member, especially when it comes to expressing very personalized imaginings. That's kind of what Headcanons are about.

Anyway.

[subakuryu]

Alright... This is gonna be a long winded post because I know for sure that things here on can get really touchy. And reasonably so, but well... Hear me out.

So in a desperate attempt to keep Yark's memory and my deep enjoyment of her expressive and toonish style alive, I really, really wanted to make a fan OC/Sona(?) that is unmistakeably emulated from her material to some degree.

When I had my last stretch of interactions with her starting in 2018, it was because I had rediscovered her existence while playing Splatoon 2. I came across a "Yark" on the enemy team and from there found her on twitter.

She had made two splatoon fan characters Kaz and Zane which began their existence as an inkling and octoling respectively. And later on, she translated them into her Team Prototype universe changing their species into a needlix and a gorm.

Yark then had adopted the game of splatoon into her universe as "Muck Warfare" as a sport that arose out of the needlix's swampy home planet of Swog.

As such, for me, Kaz n Zane now hold an even bigger place in my heart than I could've ever imagined they would.

So as a way to directly honor her without imposing too deep on her main story material for Team Prototype, I'm essentially making a fan Muck Warfare OC.

--------

So? Here are sketches of me conceptualizing my own needlix OC. I kinda have some names floating around, but we'll see what I settle on.

As you may have read in the photo, I did take most of my inspiration for this needlix from Yark's Milkzee. Her description of the fella's character as well as his overall aesthetic kinda resonated really well with me.

So at the top of the page was me first trying to do a side profile of a Milkzee derivative needlix. From there I was looking to see if I could design some markings for the needlix head-tentacle that I'd like. While Yark had fairly simple or sparing markings/patterns on the needlix I've seen, for me I wanted somethin a lil more complicated... For now at least. I can change it later on should regret nibble at my work ethic.

One thing I wish I could ask Yark is whether that tail-end tuft of hair that Milkzee has is because the hair only grows at the end or if that mid section of the head tentacle is shaved area. I'm gambling on the former unless someone with secret knowledge can inform me otherwise.

Now one of the key features of this OC is that he's almost always wearing that spiny headset when out n about. That is a reflection of me as most people who know me, I'm almost always sporting some fancy over ear headphones. Also, I've got a couple of pokemon in mind with this headset's design. Care to hazard some guesses? :]

Now truthfully... I'm really unsure of what I wanna do with the tail. Same as with the head tentacle, tails have been varied but fairly simple in Yark's portrayals. We'll see if I ever set on a design I like.

So in Splatoon 2, my main weapon of choice is the Tenta Brella and so it is this needlix's choice or whatever the Muck Warfare equivalent would be. I like the idea that maybe this particular weapon would be built with some biological Swog tech. I'd imagine the brella canopy would be woven of "Mycofiber" from a particularly rare mushroom species. So here's some action poses with this needlix settin up on the battlefield. Trying to figure out the curvature and size of the brella in different perspectives and in relation to a needlix's size is very... annoyin.

I... Don't wanna talk about how awful this attempt to breakdown the Tenta Brella and figure out how to "Yarkify" the design so that it fits better into her Muck Warfare. I wanna avoid just using her PD (pocket dimension) concept where I can, even though it could help answer a lot of the weird functionality of the original Tenta Brella.

Some other time on that front...

Further exploration of this currently nameless needlix. I absolutely adore grumpy/frustrated expressions, and so I started off with making one that looked nice enough, and then the rest of the body suddenly followed. Can't say I'm sure about the hands, leg length, nor the weight distribution of that cross legged position. I think the fella's right hand should just be flat on the floor instead of goofily clutching the brella but eh...!

So on the bottom right I wanted to work on another more level forward-facing while trying to figure out the weird intricacies of forward facing muzzles. Our fella is sipping some on some black coffee, no sugar from a free Ez Co mug he got at a business trip awhile ago. I imagine that with his weird three pronged sausage fingered claws, he has to hold the mug a little awkwardly.

And of course we got a little reference to one of Yark's noncanon little interactions between Kaz and Zane, just happening in the background as a fella sips his brew.

---

Alright. I think that's enough of this blabbin on this lil portion of my journey. Again, Yark we miss you. I wish you could see how much you've inspired me and others.

Till next post, viewer! Take care!

[rashenditrash]

I realized I don't think I ever shared this here (or if I did I lost it), and I just discovered the excellent "Leratium" ship name on @preservationandruin 's blog so I thought I'd post this because MAN I LOVE THIS SHIP.

Anyways: Ati and Leras, Mistborn Spoilers.

"I will take Ruin."  The setting sun glinted in Ati's red hair.  "Perhaps I can contain it's power, at least for a time, and prevent its destructive potential from being realized."  

The others remained silent as Ati stepped forward, hands outstretched to take in the power.  Leras felt unable to speak, paralyzed, though his heart was racing in his chest.   This is happening too quickly.  Some of the others were already gone, racing off into the Cosmere with their newfound divinity, no doubt setting out to find a position of advantage from which to fortify themselves from attack by the others.  

No, no, no.  This can't be happening.  Ati was the best of them.  His kindness and laughter had saved Leras in his darkest moments.  This was not supposed to be that way.  

He could see the logic in Ati's sacrifice, of course.  Though Uli Da, Rayse, and Bavadin had already departed with their shards moments before, and those remaining would count themselves lucky that none of them had taken Ruin as their own, Leras was not sure who he would trust with that kind of power.  Edgli, cautious as ever, continued to watch, no doubt calculating which of the sixteen was most likely to renege on their pact the quickest.  

The logic did not make it any easier to accept that Ati the person was gone, and what remained of him would live the rest of his eons of existence in a constant struggle to contain the power he had claimed.  

I have to do something.  Leras's eyes darted between the impassive faces of his remaining companions.  Why weren't any of them doing something to stop this? They don't care.  All they see is their own chance to ascend; their own piece of godhood.  

I have to protect him.  Please, Ati, don't leave me.  

"Chin up, Leras," Ati smiled, meeting Leras's eyes as the black mist continued to wind its way around his body.  "Surely there are worse things to fear than becoming a dark god of destruction."  As he finished speaking, Ati's form seemed to evaporate as it was consumed by the black mist.  His human self was burned away by the god-like power he now held, leaving only divinity behind.  

"ATI!!!!"  Leras stumbled forward into the space Ati had occupied only moments before.  A light sprung up, seemingly in response to his shout.  It was a white mist, contrasting the black one that had consumed Ati.  In horror, Leras watched as the mists began to envelop him.  His entire body began to burn as if his veins were being set alight beneath his skin.  A thousand pleasures and pains assaulted him at once, and his back arched in simultaneous torment and ecstasy as the power consumed him.  

I will save Ati.  I will Preserve him.  As his body dissolved, Leras shot off, knowing Ati would have tried to get as far as possible to avoid causing any unintended harm.  Already, he could feel his mind expanding much as his body had.  Time and space seemed to lose meaning.  He reached out into the beyond, grasping at millions of possible futures, understanding them in an instant.  

Why am I chasing him?  Leras pushed forward, locating the futures in which he and Ati were together, and willed himself to that place, passing over whole solar systems in an instant.  

"Leras?  What are you doing here?  My power it. . . it burns.   You . . ."  Leras received the impression of Ati, as he remembered him, reaching out with a hand.  Leras reached out his own power eagerly, seeking to envelop Ati in his embrace.  

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"  They screamed in unison, and the echoes of their cries seemed to reverberate through the very fabric of the Cosmere.  Leras recoiled from Ati, slowly regaining his senses as the intense pain faded.  

"What, what was that?"  

"I don't know."  Leras examined his own power more closely.  Mingling his power with Ati's had felt explosive, like a volcano erupting under a frozen lake.  Despite the pain of the experience, part of Leras seemed to call out to record it perfectly in his memory, to preserve it for all time.  

Preservation.  It sensed my desire to preserve Ati, and accepted me as its Vessel.  "Our powers, it appears, are in conflict.  Ruin and Preservation: we are opposites.  Our powers will not mingle easily. "    

"Yes."  Leras could sense, rather than hear, the hesitation in Ati's voice as he considered the new knowledge. Leras mentally cursed Adonalsium.  How was it that he had ended up with the one Shard that would prevent him from remaining close to Ati?  Already he could feel himself drifting away from Ati, pulled by his own power away from its opposite.  

No!  Desperate, Leras again reached into the beyond, searching for a future in which he and Ati could remain together.   His power seemed to navigate through the unmeasurable expanse of possibility easily, appearing eager to find futures where current circumstances were preserved. 

"Leras?" 

"Got it!  Our powers may not mingle easily, but we can use them together.  I've seen it.  Ati, together, we can create anything.  We could form entire worlds out of the abyss if we wanted."  As he spoke, Leras felt his power seeming shrink into itself, as if resiling from the thought of so much change.  "Neither of us can alone, of course, but together. . ."

"No, Leras.  I have made up my mind.  We must abide by our pact, remember?  I will find some dark corner of the Cosmere, and find a way to keep myself there, so that my power cannot harm anyone."  

"But you don't have to only destroy Ati, together we can create."  

"Leras, this is my burden to bear.  Leave, and find a planet to protect.  If we do as you say, your plan will only lead to the destruction of all we have made, and likely you as well."  Unbidden, a vision of the future Ati spoke of came into view, a world consumed by fire and ash.  And yet, that was not all Leras saw.  I can preserve them.  

"Ati, friend, if you must destroy one day, would it not be better to ruin something we ourselves have created?  That way, the rest of the Cosmere may be preserved.  Our powers will counteract each other for a time, and perhaps delay the events you fear."  Or prevent them completely.  Though the thought of misleading Ati twisted his heart, the power Leras held seemed to pulse eagerly at the thought of having an entire world to preserve against destruction.  

"Leras. . . I can't.  I cannot bear the thought of killing you.  I will only ask once more.  Leave this place.  If I destroy you I may never forgive myself."

If you destroy at all, you will never forgive yourself.  And I would rather see the Cosmere consumed by your power then spend eons apart from you.  

"I am resolute, Ati, you will not convince me.  Give this a chance, and we can create something beautiful together.  Our powers will balance each other.  You can force things to evolve and change, and my power will protect what we create from complete annihilation."

It took further negotiation, but eventually, a deal was struck.  Together, Ati and Leras stretched out until they found an empty system, and there they pulled a planet from the void and set about creating life there.  

Ati, already succumbing to influence of his power, secured the promise that one day Leras would allow him to destroy that which they created.  Leras agreed, and with a heavy heart began to plan the betrayal of the person he loved most.  Dimly, he saw one future where mists, black and white, intertwined, becoming something greater.  

[starkovsnesta]

Darling, I'm with you (a bellarke one shot)

Hey everyone, this is my first work for @bellarkebingo.

It's set after s6, when Clarke comes back in her body, and it is a little angst(cause, of course, I can't write happy things)

Hope you enjoy it!

Read it on ao3.

***

We fell asleep to escape from the sun

And we woke up to the sound of a storm outside

-I'm with you, Vance joy

It still didn't feel real.

Laying on one of the ship's cabin, Clarke kept staring at the ceiling.

She knew she was exhausted, Josephine had refused to sleep for a long time, but she just couldn't manage to fall asleep.

Sleeping should have been a release, a solace. But to her, it was a cage.

She had been forced to face her fears, her sins, and now that she had seen them all, now that she had acknowledged her deepest demons, ones that she had kept away from her own mind for too long, she was just too tired of monsters.

She knew she would have seen them all again, once she had closed her eyes.

Panic flawed inside her. She touched her chest with one hand, trying to control her breathing.

In with the nose, out with mouth.

It had been her mantra for a long time, now. She knew her friends, or the ones that she could once call friends, thought she was cold and insensitive, always ready to do what others couldn't.

She knew she had grown the ability to keep her emotions aside, to rely just on rationality, and it was everything but easy.

As much as she hated it, Clarke was still a person. She had feelings, emotions, she had fears and hope and dreams, sometimes. She felt.

More than she wanted to.

She tried to deny some emotions to herself. But she just couldn't.

And in that moment, alone on her bed, trying to gain control on her brain, she just felt helpless.

A few tears escaped her eyes.

She had been lonely for most of her life. Even on the Ark, besides her parents, the only person who had loved her and accepted her for who she was, with all of her flaws, was Wells. And she had lost him, twice.

Clarke had always known that the only person she could rely on was herself, but she wasn't able to trust her own mind lately. Or even worse, she was scared of it. What could she do? There was no escape. She couldn't run away, although she wanted to.

Wherever she went, her demons would have followed. It had always been like that. But this time, she was just too tired to fight them.

She thought of Madi.

She had failed her, too.

She had promised to protect her, to give her the life she couldn't have, to make her happy.

But what she actually did was throwing her to war, giving her the responsibilities and fears that a child should never have.

She had ruined her.

Wherever you go, death follows.

Some other tears had fallen from her eyes.

Even though she was back in her own body, Clarke felt lost.

She knew she had chosen to bare all this pain. I bare it, so they don't have to.

But what was the point?

She thought of her friends, of their surprised and relieved faces when she came back.

She thought of Miller, Emori, even Echo, slightly smiling. She thought of Murphy's guilty face, his eyes staring at her with a mixture of challenge and regret.

She thought of Raven's watery eyes, her mouth still spitting out bitter words, but this time the insults had come out trembling.

Clarke would have thought a hint of affection was in them, but she didn't dare to hope.

And then she thought of Bellamy.

He was there was she returned.

The first thing she had seen when she had opened her eyes, when she had realized she could see and hear and touch things again, was his worried face.

His eyes full of insecurity, his mouth trembling with fear.

What was he afraid of? That she was never coming back?

Without even realizing she was doing it, Clarke had touched Bellamy's cheek, just to make sure he was really there.

"Bell" she had whispered helplessly.

His name on her mouth sounded like a cry for help. She was reaching to him, like she was drowning in deep waters.

It was like that little word had given him some sort of impulse, because he inmediately locked her in his arms.

The feeling was so relieving, that Clarke started sobbing. All the fear she had kept away to save herself washed over her, and she couldn't control it anymore.

With every sob, Bellamy's caresses on her hair felt lighter, more delicate than the previous ones.

It had reminded her of six years ago, when he had comforted her right before the end of the world.

This time was different, though, because he was crying too.

She could feel the wetness of his cheeks against the back of her neck.

The only sound she could hear, after her desperate sobs, was her name on Bellamy's mouth.

"Clarke" he had repeated over and over again, each time more consciously than the other, as he was realizing, like her, that she was really there.

She closed her eyes, still trying to gain control, and she thought of Bellamy saying her name, again and again.

She thought of his soft lips against her shoulder, of his hands on her hair.

Right before she fell asleep, she could have sworn she heard the sound of his heartbeat against hers, like he was lying next to her.

***

She woke up gasping, in desperate need for air. She felt her cheeks wet, she must have cried in her sleep. Clarke brought a hand to her neck. Her throat was aching, it burnt like she had been screaming for hours.

She knew what she would have seen in her dreams, there was no way to escape them. The images were so vivid in her head that she wondered if she was still trapped in her mind.

It was hard to understand what was real.

She closed her eyes, trying to gain some control.

She had dreamt of Madi, her body covered in blood and her eyes a storm of rage, strong enough to destroy a planet.

She had seen her with a sword, her grip so stable and her posture so confident that she looked like she was meant to war all along. That last part was probably true, Clarke thought.

She had tried to avoid that, but she had failed.

And her failure had ruined Madi's life. She had lost her innocence, her joy, her curiosity. How could have she done that to her own daughter?

In her dreams, Madi looked right at her, spitting bitter words to her face.

"Wanheda" she had called her. Commander of death.

That word alone was enough to send a chill down her spine. Every time she had heard that word, it was full of disgust, of despise.

But Madi had told it with a toneless voice, like the word didn't scare her.

"I knew you would have come for me." she kept saying.

Clarke had took a step towards her, but Madi still looked so far away from her.

"Madi, I would never hurt you" she had said in her dream.

But her daughter just looked at her, a grin on her face, and told the words she would have never wanted to hear from her.

"Did you expect to protect me from the world, Clarke? Did you really think you could do that?" she laughed bitterly, and Clarke felt like somebody was stabbing her in the chest.

"You could never have given me the life I deserve, Wanheda. I was doomed the moment you found me in the woods."

A few tears escaped Clarke's eyes. She knew it had been just a nightmare, but deep down she thought those words were true.

What had she done?

How could have she expected to love Madi without causing her any harm?

She started sobbing loudly, incapable to control herself. Not that she cared about anyone hearing her, anyway.

The sound of her cry was loud in the silence of the night. With every sob, a small part of her crumbled.

The door of the cabin cracked open.

Instinctively, Clarke started to clean her face from the tears. She stopped when she saw who was standing right in front of her.

In the weak light of the room, Bellamy looked more tired than ever. His face was worryingly pale.

He walked to her slowly, as if scared she would have pushed him away.

She felt her heart tighten up in her chest.

After all those years, he still didn't know how much he mattered to her.

She helplessly watched him sit on the bed beside her, and a small sigh left her mouth.

She smiled tiredly when she said "I'm sorry for the noise. I didn't mean to bother anyone"

Bellamy stared at her, scrutinizing her face as if he was in front of a mystery nobody had ever solved.

He took her hand in his, holding it tight.

"Don't worry, princess." he whispered "you didn't wake anyone. I barely heard you."

A small smile brightened his face.

Relief washed over her. She was happy he was there with her, trying to make her smile.

The burden in her chest slightly lightened.

But it still hurt.

Bellamy must have noticed the resigned look on her face, cause he moved closer to her.

"Clarke" he said, his voice slightly trembling "it was just a dream".

A little laugh escaped her mouth.

"Sometimes, I wish it was all a dream. I wish anything I saw was real." she took a small pause after this last sentence "I wish I wasn't real".

She closed her eyes, her body still aching for sleep. How long had she been asleep? A few hours?

"What time is it?" she weakly asked, her eyes still closed.

"The last time I checked, it was 4 a.m"

Although he had said it with a humorous voice, she could feel worry wash over him.

His eyes were still studying her.

He was probably afraid she could have started crying again. Honestly, she was afraid, too.

Bellamy had already had problems by trying to rescue her. She didn't want to make things worse for him.

"Why were you awake so early? Couldn't sleep?" she tried to change the focus from herself.

"I couldn't." she heard him answer "I had to make sure you were fine"

If the words weren't enough to make her heart lose a beat, his serious tone certainly was.

She opened her eyes, looking at him.

"You mean" she started, not sure what to say "you were behind my door all the time?"

Her surprised tone made him laugh, his cheeks assuming a timid shade of red.

Clarke couldn't help but analyze him.

She had always found him beautiful, like an ancient creature of the earth, some of those mythological figures he seemed to love so much.

She had always been scared to draw him, afraid some of his beauty would have gone away because of her hands.

In that moment, she wished she had her pencils.

"I didn't have anything better to do" he merely answered.

They stayed like that for a while.

Side by side on Clarke's bad, their hands still locked together.

Each of them looking for words to say, but neither of them daring to break the silence that seemed to create a calm atmosphere around them.

"It was Madi" Clarke heard herself say. The words escaping her mouth without her consent.

She didn't have to explain what she meant, because Bellamy already had an aware look on his face.

She took a breath, and started telling him about her nightmare.

Repeating the words she had heard Madi say was painful, but somehow she managed to let everything out without breaking down into an ugly cry.

Maybe it was because of her need to talk with somebody.

Or, maybe, it was Bellamy's firm and steady grip on her hand, that somehow kept her from fading away.

When she finished talking, she just stared blankly in front of her, not expecting an answer.

Bellamy's words came from the distance.

"I'm sorry" he said, his voice breaking on the last word. "I should have been there. For you. For Madi. I'm sorry, I let you down."

A small tear escaped his eyes.

Every word he had spoke were soaked with guilt. Typical Bellamy, Clarke thought, always beating himself for not doing enough for the people he loved.

An electrifying feeling crept through her at the thought she belonged to that category in Bellamy's life.

She smiled at him, even though he wasn't facing her anymore.

She hadn't thought what losing her meant to Bellamy. A part of her hoped he would come rescue her from her personal hell, but she had pushed that hope away in order to save herself. She knew it was unfair to expect him to give up to his friends, his family's safety in order to save her life. He had already lost her once and managed to survive anyway.

But even though she kept repeating those words to herself, she still waited for him to take her away from that place, to save her one more time.

And that little, weak, almost invisible beam of hope was enough to keep her alive.

"Bell" she called for him, like she had done many times before.

She wished she was good with words. She wished she could let her feelings out easily, like he did.

There were just too many things to be told.

After all they had been through, after all the loss and the pain, she thought he deserved to know.

But instead of revealing feelings she had tried to keep away from him, and from herself, for so long, she asked "Will you sleep with me?"

The question lingered in the silence for some minutes.

The surprise in his face made her blush a little. Before she could deny her offer, he nodded, his smile still slightly open.

She laid down on her bed, its softness so comforting she let out a sight without wanting.

She felt exhausted. Her tired eyes were slowly leading her to sleep.

Before going back to the darkness, she saw Bellamy smiling reassuringly at her. His eyes bright in the weak light.

Their bodies separated only by their hands, still locked together.

A warm feeling washed over her, and this time, she felt more brave when she faced her mind.

[peacefulspock]

The Quodo Fic I'll Never Write

[[Alright, I'll post what I have then! It's pretty bare bones but I couldn't get the idea of Quark leading Odo on a galaxy wide goose chase out of my head. Thank you to @boomdeyadah for cleaning this up enough to share 😚]]

☆☆☆☆☆

Odo has been gone 5 years, and while he enjoys his time in the Link he never can quite stop thinking about his friends. In fact, the longer he's gone the more he worries what kind of mischief Quark in particular is getting up to.

His thoughts are too individual, can't truly harmonize with the Link. In an effort to stop the dissonance, the mass conscious redoubles it efforts to truly absorb Odo. He's almost wooed by the ease of it all until he realizes he's lost an entire 8 months to the Link’s latest effort. Time. It's the concept of time that truly and finally drags him out of the swirling, golden ocean of his people. He has all the time in the universe. Quark does not. Quark will grow old and die and he could miss it all if he lost himself to the Link.

"I'll just go visit. That's all. I'll keep an eye on Quark until he passes because somebody has to make sure he's not up to no good."

Just keeping everyone else's pockets safe and then he'll go home. The link would still be there after all.

So he goes, not wanting to acknowledge the relief he feels while docking at the station or the gentle warmth that settles over him at seeing Kira and his old friends. Until he gets the news and it’s like someone filled his old bucket with cold water and dumped it on his head. Quark is gone. Missing. Has been for over a year. And of course Quark would be so pleased to know that people looked for him. Extensively. Even a year later Rom and Kira are still regularly discussing any new clues to his whereabouts.

"I never thought I'd miss that little gremlin, Odo, but this station isn't half as fun without him. Don't tell him I said that when we finally find him, though."

Kira is sympathetic and Odo might be sick to his stomach if he had one. He tries not to think of Quark lying dead on some backwater planet in the wilderness, or curled up in some rotten back alley after a deal gone wrong. He'd probably just scammed someone big time and scuttled off to a random moon to enjoy his stolen riches.

It takes Odo a day to decide he's going to personally find Quark after some catching up with his friends and colleagues. It's all of three days before his nerves have him saying goodbye and shipping out at warp like a man on a mission.

"The quicker I get this over with, the better," he tells himself.

He's already read over the case file a dozen times, poured over every detail. He estimates it'll take him a week to find Quark. A week comes and goes. Then two. A month. Three months. It's six months before he gets a real break and boy is it a revelation. He's going through a small, barely lived in room on a no-name freighter light-years away from the station when it hits him. Quark had been here. Maybe for weeks. He'd been here and clearly caught wind of Odo barreling at him through space because he'd left in a hurry. The sheets were still wrinkled and a hastily scribbled note was left for him on a dingy table.

[[Go away, I didn't break any laws. Leave me alone. Don't you have anything better to do than harass me?]]

No, he doesn't. Quark really was on the run. From him. He doesn't want to see Odo at all. Odo  contemplates letting him go, albeit briefly. Quark probably has a reason for avoiding him. Something criminal no doubt. So he's going to try even harder to find him. He has to see him again at least once. Then he'll really go home, for sure. He was going to arrest Quark for whatever crime he had clearly committed and then leave.

Except, it takes two years to catch Quark. That's a long time to think about why you're still after a man that you've pretended to hate. Ample time to consider that all the evidence says Quark really HASN'T committed a crime and yet you’re still using it as an excuse. Too much time to ponder the unwanted ache his absence has left since the moment YOU left HIM on DS9 without so much as a goodbye. Two years is a long time for him realize he's let self-sabotage and uncertainty get in the way of what relatively little time he can get with Quark compared to his own long, indeterminate lifespan.

What has he done? What has he done? Visions of Quark walking away for good this time fill him with dread.

"Can I fix this?"

He's determined to try. Over the long months it becomes clear Quark is intentionally leaving him clues here or there so his trail never grows cold. Sometimes letting Odo get so close he swears he sees the flash of coattails out of the corner of his eye. He's not sure exactly why Quark is leading him on but it's all the hint he needs to keep searching.

Finally, FINALLY, the game of cat and mouse is over and he's got his eyes on Quark for the first time in almost a decade. They're on a remote planet in the middle of nowhere and there's a tension between them as heavy as the years Odo has wasted. He doesn't even get a word in before Quark is pushing him, face already warm with angry tears. He fires off questions and insults quick as a knife and Odo listens patiently.

"Who do you think you are?"

"It's been years, I said leave me be."

"Why can't you leave well enough alone?"

"I never wanted to see you again anyways."

Odo doesn't know what to say but he talks anyways.

"Why did you leave? I would have left you alone if you'd asked on the station."

It's not accusatory but Quark reacts like it is.

"You're one to talk about leaving! You walked away without looking back!"

It's true. Odo knows it's true and some piss poor apology isn't enough to fix it but he still gives one, still says everything he's been too afraid to say. Quark is all hissing and righteous anger until Odo cradles his face and quietly asks if they can try again. Because saying I love you was still too hard, too vulnerable but it was the TRUTH. Had been before he'd left, too, and leaving for the Link had been like a breakup even if neither had said so.

"I won't leave again. I promise. Who else is going to keep you on your toes? I'll even sign a contract if you want."

And THAT sounds suspiciously like marriage but Quark latches onto it anyways.

"Damn right you'll stay. I don't have the funds to keep running from you anyways."

It's not perfect, of course, but it's a start. That first kiss, desperate and clumsy as it is, really helps seal the deal. Since neither really HAS to be back on DS9 anytime soon, they're on the planet enjoying each other in peace another few months before Quark is itching to check on his bar.

Later, they're still the bickering old fools they've always been, but even a blind man could see the open fondness they have for one another. Quark never ends up making a contract but he likes to threaten to every chance he gets. Odo smiles a bit too warm while he says he doesn't recall agreeing to sign any contract, and holds Quark's hand a little too gently for the teasing to have any weight.