#i couldn't find the last two so i took them from tiktok edits

[spade-deck]

L stimming

[arsenal-womens-1]

In the blink of an eye

People often use the saying "your life can change in the blink of an eye" a lot. Six weeks ago, you understood what the saying meant. One day, you were taking a silly DNA test for fun with your friends. The next thing you know, you find out your whole life is a lie when you get the DNA results back. It turns out the people who said they were your birth parents are not, in fact, your biological parents; they kidnapped you.

For six weeks, you've kept a huge secret. It's eating at you. Leah Williamson is your sister. For six weeks, you've been going to training, playing, eating, and talking with your biological sister, and she has no clue about your secret. How were you supposed to tell someone they're your sister when you were kidnapped at six months old? You can't even look at her. People have started to notice that you can't look at her and that you are avoiding her as much as possible.

You have been staying with Beth and Viv for about five weeks now. You couldn't go back to that house, not after what you found out. Beth and Viv don't know the real reason; they just think that your mum and dad went back to live in Spain. Your head is a mess, questioning who you are, why did they take you. Would your life have been different? Would you have gotten into football? All these "what ifs," you would never get the answers to any of them.

It hurts, knowing that you would never get the answers to why they took you and stuff like that. Hearing a knock at your door, you get up. Standing in front of you was the one person that you didn't want to see. “Hey, you ready to go? Beth and Viv are waiting in the living room.” Nodding your head, you walk past her and into the living room where you see a bunch of footballers walking over to where all the shoes are kept. You pick a random pair.

After you put them on, you walk over to where Beth and Viv are, giving a weak smile to Viv. She looks at you; it's clear you had been crying at some point. “You ok, kid?” Giving her another weak smile, you nod your head. Hearing Kim shout, “We will all meet at the restaurant, everyone drive safe,” as all the footballers pile out of the tiny apartment. You, Viv, Beth, Leah, and Jordan are the last to pile out. Walking to the car, Beth and Leah were whispering to each other about something.

Pulling out your phone, you take a picture of your outfit, posting it on your Insta and Snap stories. You stop at the car, waiting for Viv to open it. When she does, you get in; Jordan was in the middle, and Leah was on the other side. The car ride was quiet for the most part. Getting out of the car, you walk into the restaurant. Beth, Viv, Leah, and Jordan weren't that far behind. Alessia and Ella come over; you know them from England.

You got your first call-up two months before the Euros, and I guess Sarina liked the way you play, as you got the call to join the team for the Euros. It's now November 1st; life has been crazy since you won. Walking to the table, you sit more away from your Arsenal teammates. The night went well; everyone was happy and talking to each other. It's now the next day; you had a game today, so you need to get there at 5 am because it's a 12:30 kick-off.

Getting up, you slip on a hoodie and joggers, trying to shake off the weight of your secret. As you head out the door, you walk to the kitchen where some of the Arsenal girls are; some stayed over last night. Beth passes you a coffee. "Hey," she says, her voice soft and it has a hint of tiredness in it. "Are you okay? You seemed a bit off last night." You force a smile, hoping to deflect her worry. "Yeah, just tired, I guess. Big day ahead."

Giving another forced smile, you walk over to the couch and flop down next to Jen. The news was on the TV; nothing interesting, so you just go on TikTok and watch some fan edits showing Jen. A few here and there were of to the training center; it's cold as it's like -4. As you arrive at the training center, each step you take is heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of your secret. Your mind is a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Jen's concerned gaze follows you, her eyes silently pleading for you to confide in her, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. Not yet. Inside the training center, the familiar sights and sounds offer little comfort. Your mind keeps drifting back to Leah. How do you face her knowing what you know? The guilt threatens to consume you whole. As the bus parks up, you catch Leah's eyes. For a moment, it feels like she can see right through you, like she knows the truth.

You quickly look away, unable to bear the weight of her gaze. She was just a teammate six weeks ago, and now she is your sister. Well, I guess she always has been, but you didn't know. Getting on the coach, you sit next to Katie, Catlin, Steph; you don't really talk to them. The game was a blur; yous won 2-0. After taking photos with fans, you walk down the tunnel where Leah, Beth, Katie, and Georgia Stanway are.

Leah walks over to you; as you try to walk away, she gently grabs your arm. “Hey, can we talk?” You just shake your head, and you try to pull your hand away. “What have I done to you to make you hate me?” You shake your head. “I don't hate you, Leah.” She still has your hand in her grasp. “You can't look at me; you don't talk to me, and you won't tell anyone what's going on.”

You do the only thing you can think to get her to let go of you. The connection of your hand connects to her face echoes through the tunnel. The girls come over and quickly separate you. Beth comes up to you and pulls you around the corner. “What's going on? Leah just wanted to know if she did something; why did you slap her?” Looking at Beth, the concern for you and a bit of anger for slapping Leah, you couldn't bear it any longer.

You let all the emotions out, letting a sob rip through you. Beth steps forward and gently pulls you into a hug so your head is resting on her shoulder. “She-I'm-” She tries to calm you down. “She's my sister.” Letting another sob rip through your body, you feel Beth tense under you. “What are you talking about?” Wiping your head around, you see Leah standing there.

[bopbopstyles]

I JUST WANT A LOVER PT.2

RATING: R/smut (graphic sex, nipple play, lil holding of wrists above head)

WORD COUNT: 4.3k (and like 90% smut just for y'all b/c i couldn't stop myself i'm a slut <3 also i did not edit this sorry not sorry)

CATEGORIES: one night stand!harry

PT. 1 | MASTERLIST | TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

a/n: SURPRISE BITCHES!!!!!! y'all loved pt1 so much that i just couldn't help myself. perhaps not my finest work, but banged this out in like two hours for you all. luv u bunches, hope this is the happy ending you wanted (plus 95% smut including some JUICY lil thangs) XOXO thank you so much for the support of IJWAL — missed y'all <3

“I have a secret.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, slotting his lower body between yours. You could feel his cock brush against your center deliciously, and it’s like it hadn’t been inside you less than twelve hours ago from the way your body lit up. “I might tell you, but only if you’re really, really nice to me.” 

He nosed at your forehead with his nose, tilting your head back slightly so he could look directly into your eyes. You loved when guys could match you with banter, could be all fun and playful after a hookup. Otherwise it was just awkward. So, you played along. “Nice, hmm?” You said, lifting your hands from their spot on the sheets and trailing your fingertips up his sides. 

The way Harry’s body tensed immediately caught your eye, and you loved it. The fact that you had the same effect on him that he had on you did wonders for your self esteem, and encouraged the playful fire burning in your stomach. 

“Wonder how I could be nice to you,” you teased, splaying your fingers across his torso and and pressing gently into the skin, watching his abdomen muscles ripple under your pressure. 

“I could think of a few ways,” he breathed out, eyes darting all over your face. 

or

It's the morning after and they're both really into each other (still)

In the morning, you learned, Harry was far too chipper. You were usually a gremlin until you’d had at least one cup of coffee, at which point you reached everyone’s-favorite-neighborhood-grump status, and after at least two hours of being awake you were usually finally able to have a conversation without grimacing repeatedly at how much you didn’t want to speaking. 

So therefore, waking up to find Harry stretched out next to you scrolling TikTok with a smile on his face was not quite your favorite start to the morning. At least, on paper. But for some reason, when he looked over and smiled at you, you couldn’t help but think you might reach your nice stage a little faster this morning. 

“Morning,” Harry said, locking his phone and placing it on his bedside table. “Sleep okay?”

You pushed your hair out of your face and sat up, scooting backward until your back hit his headboard. “Apart from you being the hottest human known to man and roasting the whole night, yeah.”

He grinned at you. “Hottest, eh?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I meant temperature-wise, you idiot.”

Harry chuckled and reached over to the bedside table, grabbing a glass of water. “Here, got this for ya.” He passed it to you, fingers brushing yours as you took the glass from his grip. Even though the two of you had sex last night, you couldn’t help but notice how warm and soft his hands were, and how they sent a shiver ripping down your body. 

“Thank you,” you told him, glancing around the room. Last night you’d only seen in the partial darkness, the only light while you’d been having sex coming in from the street—which was enough to see Harry in all of his glory, but not enough to make out the intricate details of his room. 

It was covered in art, you quickly noticed. Not framed, valuable, and hung art, but sheets of drafting paper with sketches on them, little napkins with drawings, and smaller watercolors. You could tell that there was a recurring style of drawing and painting across the papers, but not necessarily all the same—they could’ve been done by multiple people. In the corner was a record player, an old and nice one, you thought, and a set of speakers with too many records to fit in the storage unit he had. They were in stacks on the ground next to the turntable, spines out so you could see the name of the record. That, you thought, tracked with what he’d told you—that he was a musician and worked in a record store. 

At the end of the bed was his dresser, with the hem of shirts poking out from drawers and the top scattered with various items. Nail polish, a dish of tons of vintage rings, a couple of necklaces hanging from pins in the wall. A couple bottles of cologne, and a stack of books with a photo frame on top. Above the dresser was a circular mirror, and in it you could see yourself and Harry perfectly. In fact, a little too perfectly—your hair was sticking in all directions after having gotten wet in the shower and there was a rim of black from old mascara under your eyes you’d been too lazy to scrub off last night. Harry, on the other hand, looked perfect with his five o’clock shadow and pink lips begging to be kissed, hair tousled like it was meant to be like that. 

You ignored your reflections, enjoying your perusal of his room, and turned to see his desk on the other wall of the room, where two large windows by New York City standards stood, letting in morning light through heavy curtains. There were papers all over the desk, black ink scribbles scattered across them, and a stack of black leather notebooks in the corner next to a cup of black pens (all the same kind, he must have a type). A computer sat on the desk, covered by paper, as well as a very fun mushroom lamp that make you smile. 

“So?” You turned back to Harry, confused. “What’s your assessment?”

“Of what?”

“My room you were obviously just investigating.”

Oh. He had been watching you explore his space. “That you’re very artistic?”

He smiled, and then replied with a nod. “That’s true.”

“Are those drawings all yours?”

He shook his head. “A lot of them are my sister’s. She’s older, and sends them to me in a care package once a month. Her way of showing me the world around her. Been doing it since she was at university, so what’s up in a mixture of stuff from years. The others are mine.”

It was sweet, you thought, how close he seemed to be with his sister. “Is she an artist?”

“Nah, she’s teaching history. Unlike me, she decided that it was better to keep her artistic passions just for herself. She told me once that she didn’t believe in that whole idea that if you do something you love for your job you never work a day in your life. She told me’ It’s still work at the end of the day,’ so she just does it in her free time. Kind of jealous she can do that.”

You rotated slightly onto your side, able to look at him better “You can’t?”

“It’s funny, for a long time I never thought I’d do anything related to music. But then it was like it kept begging me to try it out. For a while I thought that my friends were playing a joke on me because every pub night I went to there was an open mic night.” You laughed at that, and he smiled at you. “And there was this feeling that the music was just spilling out of me. It would come to me at the funniest times, especially on the subway or when I was walking home, and I’d have to write it down or it’d never get out of my head. So I finally just decided to take it as a sign.”

“That’s really amazing,” You told him, meaning every word. He looked suspicious of your statement though. “To have something that you are that passionate about. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about something. Always wanted to. Thought there was something wrong with me, even, that I didn’t have a passion like all my other friends.”

Then, Harry did the sweetest thing you’d ever had happen to you during a one night stand. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear that had escaped, his fingertips trailing down your neck as he withdrew his hand. It was like he craved your skin as much as you where craving touching his, with his chest exposed, his many tattoos on display. 

Finally, he spoke, and when he did, his voice was rougher than it had been before. “You’re not missing out,” he said. “Sometimes I wish I could shut it off. Would make life a hell of a lot easier.” 

His words were so raw, so honest. 

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “Isn’t this intimate for a morning after conversation.”

You laughed, pushing gently against his shoulder. “Hey, I thought it was cute.”

“Just what every man wants to hear first thing in the morning,” he answered, rolling towards you and propping himself up on his wrists so he was hovering over you. “I have a secret.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, slotting his lower body between yours. You could feel his cock brush against your center deliciously, and it’s like it hadn’t been inside you less than twelve hours ago from the way your body lit up. “I might tell you, but only if you’re really, really nice to me.” 

He nosed at your forehead with his nose, tilting your head back slightly so he could look directly into your eyes. You loved when guys could match you with banter, could be all fun and playful after a hookup. Otherwise it was just awkward. So, you played along. “Nice, hmm?” You said, lifting your hands from their spot on the sheets and trailing your fingertips up his sides. 

The way Harry’s body tensed immediately caught your eye, and you loved it. The fact that you had the same effect on him that he had on you did wonders for your self esteem, and encouraged the playful fire burning in your stomach. 

“Wonder how I could be nice to you,” you teased, splaying your fingers across his torso and and pressing gently into the skin, watching his abdomen muscles ripple under your pressure. 

“I could think of a few ways,” he breathed out, eyes darting all over your face. 

“Oh yeah?” You pushed at his right shoulder, forcing him back to his pillow and onto his back. With ease, you sat up and slotted your knees on either side of his hips. But you didn’t rest yourself on his body, instead you hovered above him, suddenly thankful for the pilates you’d become obsessed with lately, because your legs didn’t shake immediately. “Wonder if I could guess a couple of them.”

Harry’s eyes were wide, staring at you. His gaze was locked on your tits, which were uncovered and bare for him to see, and you loved the attention, the feeling of warm from his gaze on your body. “I think you might be onto something.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, gently lowering onto his bare cock and brushing delicately up and down on him, the friction making both of you moan. Then, you lifted right back up, hovering on your knees, with Harry staring up at you in disbelief. However, he didn’t make a sound, just watched you, mesmerized. 

You reached below you and held his length in your hand, running your hand up and down, watching the muscles in his jaw clench with every stroke. Then, you lifted his tip and brushed him against your slit, which by this point was most definitely wet. And you knew he could feel it. 

The sound that left his throat as you ran his tip along you slit but not inside it sent your brain into overdrive. You barely resisted the temptation to slip him inside, but you wanted to tease him, to make him beg to fuck you. That desire managed to help you hold onto your sanity as you slipped just the very smallest amount of his tip inside of you and then rose up out of reach. 

The man below you whined when you lifted up, his hands curling around your thighs and tightening. “Fuck,” he breathed out. “Fuck.”

But you weren’t done. You rested his cock flat on his hips and lowered yourself down, rubbing your pussy back and forth on his length, and letting yourself get lost in the feeling. Because you could come to this feeling alone—the feeling of his skin, the warmth of him, the way his tip notched in your clit and made you bite your lip delicately. Your head dropped back and your hands crept up your body, fingers pulling and kneading at your breasts. At this point any semblance of self-consciousness had left you and you were consumed in your own pleasure, in chasing your own orgasm regardless of who was there to witness it. 

In fact, if Harry’s hands hadn’t slipped under yours, you could’ve forgotten he was even there. But then his fingers crept under yours and pushed your hands off your breasts, and his own replaced yours. His fingers were rougher than yours, the tip of his thumb calloused from pressing down on his guitar strings, and you loved how it felt on your skin. The rough graze of skin on yours, and the way his hands were larger than yours and could hold more of your breasts in his hands. And then he started to knead them and your mouth dropped open a tad, just enough for a whimper to escape your throat. 

“Feel good, baby?” He asked, the pet name dropping from his mouth and melting into your veins, filed away for your fantasies later, once you were truly on your own. The way it sounded coming from his lips, the way the syllable left his tongue. 

His tongue. Your head perked up and you found his eyes, which were already staring at you. You wanted his tongue. You bent your head and down and his lips rose to meet yours, crashing together in the press of need and desire. His lips parted with ease when you brushed against them with the tip of your tongue, and then you had access to what you wanted. When his tongue touched yours, you curled your fingers in his hair and pulled gently, the feeling of being consumed by him taking over. Your hips were still moving back and forth, and you just needed more and more of him. It wasn’t enough. 

“More,” you mumbled, pressing your forehead to his, hands on his shoulders for leverage. 

“What do you want, angel?” A new pet name that you filed away.

What did you want? You thought about it for a split second and let the first thought that flashed into your mind take hold. When you needed to finish, the thing that always put you over the edge was a tad bit of pain. Your favorite, by far, when you were like this—touch starved and needy—was on your nipples, though. 

So you grabbed his hands, and maneuvered them so his thumbs and forefingers caught around your nipple, and pressed the together. The pain shot through you in a delicious way—not too intense, but enough to make your pussy tighten at the sensation. 

Harry let out a sound that you couldn’t place. Somewhere between a groan and a whine and the sound of your name. “That, hmm, baby? Like a bit of pain?”

You nodded so fast, not wanting him to stop. 

“Fuck, okay. Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” You nodded once more, and then you lost yourself in the feeling. 

He varied the pressure, giving your nipples a break but then pressing harshly so it always felt like a jolt of pain—which is exactly what you liked. The surprise. It made your hips speed up in time, head lolling from side to side as breathy moans escaped your mouth, sounding something like his name. 

You hadn’t had this feeling in a minute, and you missed it. The all-consuming feeling of chasing an orgasm with someone else, of the combination of friction and pain, your absolute favorite that never failed you. 

“You are so hot,” he mumbled, quietly and almost to himself. But you heard it. 

And it happened to toss you right over the edge. The pressure on your nipples was too much and you could feel how hard he was, and the wetness of you made you slide right along his ridges and fuck it was too much. You crashed into an orgasm, a fire of glory that left your body quivering, fingers tightening on Harry’s shoulders. “Fuck,” you breathed out shakily, eyes opening after the shocks quieted in your system.

They found Harry immediately, his gaze on yours. “Good?”

“Mhmm,” you answered, twirling your fingers at the nape of his neck where his hair was. “You’re good at that.”

He chuckled. “I think you’re better—nearly came watching that.”

“Yeah?” You reached down and brushed your fingertip over his tip. 

His hips jolted at the touch, hands tightening from their new location on your hips. “Good lord, woman, gonna kill me.”

You cocked your head to the side. “I hope not. Was hoping to have another round.” You don’t think he realized he did it, but his tongue slipped out and wiped across his lips. 

“I’d be—fucking hell.”

You’d slipped him inside of you mid-sentence, so fast he didn’t realize it. And the feeling of him inside of you was absolute fucking heaven. You were still tight from your orgasm and dripping, and he was rock hard—the triple threat meant that your body shook ever so slightly at the feeling, your sensitivity making how good he felt send you into overdrive. Gently, you rose up, slipping your ankles onto the tops of his thighs to gain leverage, and then back down. 

The way he bore so deep inside of you made you groan, low and deep. And with that, you were moving without even realizing it—and then Harry was above you. 

He’d flipped you on your back. 

And with one look at his eyes, you knew there was no way he was going to let you move an inch. His gaze was ravenous, like a caged animal just freed. His eyes were devouring you, taking every morsel of you. 

Then, he started to move. 

His hips snapped forward and you cried out from how intense it was, the cry quickly turning into a flurry of moans and his name, falling from your mouth without pause as he fucked you hard. It was intense and delicious. His cock brushed so deep inside of you that it made your eyes roll back (not that you’d admit that to him), the pace he set forcing your hands to scramble across his skin to find something to hold onto. You ended up deciding on the duvet cover you’d slept under, hands above your head and fingers curled in the material, mouth dropped open in a silent scream that you couldn’t quite find the air for in your lungs because he was fucking it all out of you. 

“You feel so good,” he mumbled, yet another phrase in the mess of words leaving his mouth in that low, gravely, delectable voice of his. That was quickly followed by, “Your pussy feels like heaven” and “Never leaving, I swear to God”.

Somewhere in that train of words, you realized that he was bare inside of you. 

You had been the one to put him inside of you, but you had obviously been to fucked out of your mind to even realize it, because now he was completely bare inside of your pussy. 

“Harry,” you said. “You forgot a condom.”

The man, to his credit, immediately stilled inside of you. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “Didn’t—how the fuck didn’t I realize that? Would like to at least be conscious when I get to feel your pussy bare for the first time.” He looked at your face. “Now I understand why you feel so good. Fuck—um, can you grab one? In the drawer on your right side.”

You looked at him, looking at you, and felt the clench of your walls around his bare cock, and made an incredibly impulsive decision. “You clean?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately. “You?”

“Yes. And have an IUD. Keep going, please—just don’t come inside.”

“Fuck,” he said, and then he resumed his relentless pace. “Promise, angel—promise I won’t. Where do you want me to come, baby?”

“My tits,” you replied without a pause, and that made the gorgeous man above you groan harshly, one of his hands traveling up your body to tweak your nipple. You let out a squeak and then a moan as he continued, obviously using his newfound novel of your kinks to his advantage. 

“I love your breasts, goddamn,” he said, each word enunciated by a separate thrust. 

You could feel droplets of sweat dropping onto your skin, the sign of his exertion, and you loved the feeling. Loved watching him come undone above you. Craving him deeper, you lifted your legs and curved your calves around his hips, tugging him higher up your body and deeper inside you. Both of you groaned deeply, and then he did something you didn’t expect, but were immediately intoxicated by. 

He reached up to where your hands were curled in the duvet, and pushed your wrists together, and then wrapped his hand around them, holding your hands above your head. Most of his weight was in his other hand which was on the bed, so it didn’t put too much pressure on your wrists, but just enough to where you knew he was using the leverage to keep you in place. And it made your eyes flutter shut and hips arch up into him. 

The combination of all of this made his pace pick up, a stream of words falling from his mouth as he fucked you hard and fast and deep, just how you wanted it. You loved how talkative he was while he fucked you, something most men weren’t. 

Your second orgasm was rising quickly, rippling through your body and you couldn’t do a thing to stop it. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, those green eyes finding yours immediately. “Gonna come,” you informed him, pussy tightening as if on command. 

His grip on your wrists tightened and he fucked you harder, a brutal pace that had you calling out his name, not even thinking about the fact that he definitely had roommates, because all you wanted was your orgasm, and you wanted everyone to know he gave it to you. 

Just as you came, your orgasm ripping through you like an unstoppable wave, Harry pulled himself out of you and you dropped your legs immediately, knowing he was going to come. He moved up the length of you and you scooted down, out of breath and panting from your orgasm but wanting his come on your breasts anyway. He tugged twice on his length and then come was painting stripes on your skin, warm on your clammy skin. 

“Holy fuck,” he breathed, hovering above you, panting. 

You smiled up at him, and when his hands released your wrists you reached down, pushing a forefinger through the streaks of come on your chest. Harry watched in awe as you brought your finger to your mouth, savoring his taste—salty and delicious. 

“You,” he said, eyes on your mouth. “You are amazing.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you replied, gazing up at him, wondering how you would be able to give him up. You were addicted. 

Two hours later, after an Uber Eats delivery for some coffee and bagels which were consumed in bed before Harry went down on you again, pulling yet another orgasm from you, and a very heated makeout session, you were tugging on your coat in his room. Harry was pulling on a pair of pajama pants, and when he placed a pair of glasses on his nose you smiled. 

“Didn’t know you wore glasses,” you told him.

“Lots of things you don’t know about me.” He moved toward you and wrapped his hands around your hips, tugging your body into his. Your mouth met his with ease, a kiss more gentle than the previous ones dancing across your lips that made you smile. 

Stepping back, you said, “Thanks for breakfast.”

He nodded, and with another glance around his room, you followed him out of the bedroom and into the living room of his apartment. It was quiet—most likely his friends were either not awake still or hiding in their bedrooms. If you were his roommate, you’d definitely be hiding right now. 

The apartment was cramped, like every other New York apartment, but homey. Knick knacks and proof of life were scattered across all surfaces, random scraps of paper, a guitar pick here and there, some books, a plant or two. For a couple of guys, it wasn’t too bad. 

“So,” he said when you two reached the door. “I—uh—I had a lot of fun with you.”

You smiled at him, taking sincere joy in the awkwardness in his stance. He was so confident and forward all night and this morning, so seeing him like this made you grin. “I had fun too, Harry.”

He returned your smile, and reached down to curl his fingers in the top of your skirt. “Would you want to learn all those things about me?” You cocked your head at his statement, and then he quickly clarified. “That you don’t know. Like, over coffee.”

This man was asking you out on a date. A rarity for a one night stand. 

Even though you’d only gotten out of a relationship relatively recently, this man intrigued you. He was funny, kind, creative, and an absolute dream in bed. And he was fucking gorgeous. The banter helped too. You looked at him, studying the gleam in his eyes, and then nodded. 

“I’d love to.”

That made his smile grow even wider, and then he leaned down, attaching his lips to you in a kiss somewhere between sweet and full of desire, like he was remembering what your night held and was curious for the future. When he pulled away, he reached into his pocket for his phone. “Number, please.”

You typed in the digits as requested, and took it upon yourself to slide the phone back into his pocket, taking the opportunity to squeeze gently at his ass. It made him laugh, that laugh that lit up your body. “See you soon,” you told him, stealing one more kiss before opening the door and walking into his hallway. 

He stood in the doorway, shirtless in just a pair of pajama pants, hair beautifully ruffled, and watched you walk down the hall. The whole way you could feel his eyes on you, and it made your skin sing. 

Once you stepped onto the street, your phone buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out, you glanced down to find an unknown number on your screen. 

“Free at 2?”

It was noon.

You laughed into the streets of New York before replying with a Yes. The future, you thought to yourself before setting off for your own apartment, was full of possibility. 

tell me what you think!!!!!! XOXO LOVE Y'ALL

[bonkbobl]

i should be sleeping but i couldn't help but check your blog tonight and i'm so glad i did lolol,, hihi !! i just caught up on your last two recent fics and i must say, though i loved loved state of undress, i do find myself wanting to see more of distraction first. it was unsettling to read (the SA part mostly and the aftermath) yet so intriguing... i especially liked when you wrote of roose's conflict in realizing and feeling regret of his actions towards the reader & how he wants to apologize to her. i'm curious to see where you'll take it next ! (also the absolute fear i held when reader had to speak in front of everyone in the tent 😭,, i love that catelyn spoke up for her tho :') <3 ) needless to say, i would not mind whichever fic is posted first, as long as the one with a happier ending is posted second bwahahaha,,, i'm a sucker for angst but i fear roose bolton will be the death of me in this category 😭

i love that bed chem by sabrina was what loosely inspired you for state of undress bwahaha,,, which the gif??? where do u find these gifs they're all just so precisely fitting !! like even distraction he's so up close like 😳... AND OMG DISTRACTION WAS THE FIC U HAD TO REWRITE??? ur absolutely insane and dedicated and i love you for it 😭 i hope you took breaks in between writing :')

school has just begun and has been clocking my ass but seeing your posts have rejuvenated me !!! it is always a delight to see something new from you, fic or not haha,,, i hope school has been improving for you btw and i'm sorry to hear about your partner :/ i hope the split was civil and decent :']

btw those tiktok edits you're talking about.... is it the crawling back to you edits because istg i too have been watching them on repeat !! i like these two a lot as well:

https://www.tiktok.com/@rejoiceprime/video/7376165691335937285?lang=en — the song is kinda silly but the scene where he tilts his head back in his seat is just so KLDJSKLJDSKJDS 🫣

https://www.tiktok.com/@mannis_cc/video/7342193627386449184?lang=en — this one is just so dark and the song is just so him and ughhh

i hope the links work/ are valid and u like the edits haha,, let me know if you've seen them before :)

i look forward to reading the second parts to your recent fics, as well as any other new ones you might have in mind :) please do take care dear author !! wishing u all the best ! — 🩰 anon

im really happy you enjoyed them both ahhh!!! also yeah definitely the part 2 to distraction, if i end up writing it, will still have angst themes. although i like kind of tried to flesh out the ideas a bit more and im not super sure if im that passionate about it :/ but we'll see. i think i have lingering feelings about that fic and would like to flesh it out a bit more.

i hope school gets better for you soon. its lowkey been kicking my ass too LOLL especially since my courses are getting more advanced and more STEM focused.

ALSO LMAO NOT YOU KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT IM CRYING LOL. yes its those. also thanks for the new food i'll be saving these for later <3

[thecoddaughter]

rambling about writing

i read my old writing and see how far i have come. i look at my projects from the last three and a half years. i started writing "hand in hand" back during the final semester of high school after reading ATYD for the first time. i wanted to make it a three generation series. i planned the storylines out on my private tiktok in cosplay cuz i couldn't write my ideas quick enough and music and writing go together for me. i reread the four chapter i had of my next gen fic last night and it made me miss it. parts of it were bad and i had no real plan on what to do with it. back when i first started, i was so unsure of posting online. i was writing "hand in hand" for fun and for myself. you can see the early days of my themes of memory and intergenerational trauma. my irl best friends convinced me to post it and it was so opening to me as a person. i didn't get tumblr until a month or so after finishing posting that fic. i was simultaneously writing non-edited, non-beta read, quick plotted dndads fics and found fandom here. i never really promoted "hand in hand" or "golden children" because i don't follow those fandoms on tumblr and i didn't want to mess with the memory of old hand-me-down posts that made me love everything so much. as someone who is very openly queer and nonbinary in this space, i was writing those stories while discovering myself and the reclaiming was very powerful to me. i will always cry when i think of davey and ian. i will cry when i think of percy and oliver. i will miss that i never finished writing that last fic where i got to write about ginny standing up to molly and being openly queer and happy after all those years of pain. i will always miss it. "golden children" is the only fic that's gotten a relatively negative comment, though the person meant no harm and i understand their point of view, especially knowing the last few chapters were haphazardly written in and in between classes my sophomore year, a year i was kinda at my lowest. i know i am very lucky that that is the only negative comment i've gotten. i am almost at 60 fics which totals to 415,207 words. which is double the longest hp book where so many of these ideas started. i have fallen away from fiction writing outside of fandom and found a love for my poetry. i never was able to finish a fiction story, so i took up running ttrpg games based on vague plots i had. fanfiction is were my long form writing lives. i talk about it openly at college. have created real friendships around things from here. i was so cautious. with "hand in hand" i was so freaking nervous. i don't really have anyone who beta reads my stuff anymore. i post as i write. i have two wips right now and i've abandoned fics. i was so scared to do that to people. i didn't want to put something imperfect online. all my fics have errors because they aren't professionally edited and i can't catch everything no matter how many times i check and look for read lines (google docs doesn't show them all anymore and i don't trust grammarly anymore). to this day i still get scared i'll mix up prefect and perfect because of how much i wrote it. all of this is to say, thank you for anyone who has read my writing. thank you for being here. thank you for being you. thank you for giving me the community i longed for as a child. maybe one day i will find the courage and ideas to stick it to JK on last time and actually finish out my first series. maybe one day i won't feel the need to. i love you!

[sftwrmfics]

get away | 1 - first day

Pairing: Juyeon x Y/n

Genres: slightest bit of fluff

Summary: Y/n is a straight-A, honors student who has no time for a relationship. So, when Juyeon, the infamous campus player, starts going after you, you decide to act interested and play along, hoping that this will be done and over with quickly. But things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would.

Word Count: 3, 753

Warnings: some swear words and that this was quickly edited, haha.

Nobody expected it at all. Not even you.

How you were currently holding hands with Juyeon during your first date with him was beyond you. But, here you were, doing just that and laughing over the joke he made about the movie that you two were about to watch.

It all started about a week ago.

You were cooped up in the library, reviewing notes from your latest lecture while munching one of your favorite candy bars. It was the afternoon, so there were more people here than usual, studying or silently chatting with their friends. However, everyone was pretty much quiet, making it easy to get focused.

Pretty engrossed in reviewing, you slightly flinched in surprise when a group of boys had entered the library with a fit of laughter. Everyone around you, including yourself, shot the group of three boys looks of annoyance and, immediately, they quieted down, still snickering between themselves as they walked past you and took a seat a few tables behind you.

Thinking that you wouldn't be able to hear them, you relaxed in your seat. But, your eyebrow twitched when you realized that you could hear what they were talking about, even though they were loudly whispering.

"Are you still with that girl..." One boy brought up as soon as they sat down. "Uhm... what's her name? Jiyeon? Jisoo?"

Frustrated, you tried turning further away from them, but, unfortunately, you could still hear them.

Another boy hummed in thought. "Are you talking about Jiwon?" It seemed like he got a response as he amusedly replied. "Pfft, no, duh. I dumped her, I think, yesterday," the boy questioned, "because she was getting boring."

You could hear some rustling, shrinking further into the chair.

"Oooooh, Juyeon, you heartbreaker." The boys joked around and laughed as quietly as they could.

You had enough as you couldn't focus on your notes. So, you rummaged through your back for headphones and slipped them on, putting the volume up to blast your favorite study playlist, and continued to review your notes.

A couple of hours went by without you noticing until you had finished reviewing and looked out at the dark window in front of you. With a groan, you dropped your pen and stretched your arms above your head, relieving the tension of your muscles. You sighed satisfied at your hard work and relaxed in the chair while stretching your legs out underneath the table.

Picking up your phone, you paused your study playlist and slid your headphones off your ears, wrapping it around your neck as you checked your phone for the first time in hours.

Initially, not expecting much, you felt a bit surprised and concerned seeing three missed calls from Younghoon from about twenty minutes ago. You were about to call him back, but remembered when he had done the exact same thing to only tell you about this new bread that he found at the convenience store.

So, you sighed at the memory and opted to check if he had texted you first, opening the messages app. There on top were texts from him.

younghoonie :P - y/n where are you

younghoonie :P - aren’t you coming to the weekly movie night ???

younghoonie :P - i haven’t seen you in foreverrrrr

You scoffed and playfully rolled your eyes. I literally had a lecture with you today.

younghoonie :P - please get here soon

younghoonie :P - i think changmin and chanhee are going to fight again

With perfect timing, your phone buzzed twice, showing Changmin’s texts at the top of the screen.

squirrel changmin - i’m going to kill choi chanhee

squirrel changmin - audio message

You immediately straightened up in the chair, swiftly putting on the headphones while lowering the volume because you knew Changmin. Carefully, you pressed play and listened, in horror, to Chanhee’s distraught screams and pleas for help. In the background, you could hear Younghoon trying to calm them down but, to no avail, the screaming continued along with some banging and hectic footsteps.

For about thirty seconds, that was all you heard, then, suddenly, it became silent. Confused, you checked to see if it was still playing but heard the slightest, familiar, evil chuckle.

You shivered out of fear.

At that, you quickly packed your stuff into your backpack and walked as fast as you could to the entrance without a sound, calling Younghoon on the way.

When he didn’t answer, you huffed in frustration and frantically texted him to try his best to separate the two until you got there. But, before you sent it to him, you ran into something hard, causing you to fall to the ground.

Wincing, you rubbed your butt, hoping the pain would ease, and peeked up at what you ran into. The individual before you caused you to stop what you were doing and gape at him with wide, shocked eyes.

You recognized him.

His light brown hair, slightly tanned skin, and loose-fitting clothes were imprinted in your mind as Changmin and Chanhee always pointed him out and gossiped about him when they spotted him anywhere on campus.

It was Juyeon, the infamous campus player.

From your two best friends you heard that he dates all types of girls and treats them like they’re special, causing them to fall in love with him in a week or less. Then, afterward, he would toss them away like a piece of trash and, the next day, he would be found talking to some other girl.

At first, you didn’t believe anything that the two had gossiped about him being a player. You scoffed in disbelief, saying that they were just being dramatic and blowing up the rumors. But, when they pointed him out in a dining hall, you saw that he was flirting with some girl, and, when they nudged you the week after to look at him, he was flirting with another girl.

Seeing your shocked expression prompted them to continue gossiping about him to you. They informed you that he always dumped them in the worst ways possible. You heard that he would cheat right in front of them, by kissing someone or announcing it while with the other person. Or, if they came to confront him after a week was over, he would act as if he didn’t know anything about them, saying that they were crazy and delusional for thinking that they were ever in a relationship.

Changmin and Chanhee warned you to not get involved with him no matter what, but you didn’t need them to tell you that. You already felt angry and disgusted at the mere thought of him.

So, when Juyeon smiled down at you and asked if you were okay with his hand extended towards you, you gave him a wry smile and pushed yourself off the ground. Standing up on your own, you completely ignored him as you dusted yourself off.

In your hand, your phone started buzzing, averting your attention to it. Upon seeing Younghoon’s name on the screen, you remembered that there was an emergency and gasped.

Just as the boy in front of you opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off by replying to his question with that wry smile still on your face. “I’m okay, but I gotta run.”

Seeing his blanked-out expression, you calmly speed-walked past him and answered Younghoon’s call, who was frantically asking you when you’re going to be here. As you replied to his questions and tried to soothe the boy, you let out a sigh of relief when Juyeon didn’t do anything else.

Honestly, after what happened in the library, you thought that would be your first and last interaction with him. Especially since you ditched him like that, there was no way that he would try talking to you again.

A few days later, during lunch, you noticed him entering the dining hall near where your lecture was held. As if he felt your stare, he locked eyes with you which startled you in your seat, but before you could look away, he did so first.

Slowly placing your hand over your mouth, you internally screamed.

You were not expecting him to react like that.

Letting out a playful smile and feeling a surge of confidence that he won’t bother you, you went back to eating while happily scrolling through your phone.

Busy stifling laughter at a random Tiktok that Changmin had sent you, you failed to notice that someone had sat in the seat in front of you until a hand reached out into your field of vision and knocked on the table. Startled, you almost dropped your phone with a yelp but caught it on time to your relief, and you glanced up. Displeased at what you saw, you almost frowned but quickly covered it up with a small, questioning smile.

Why was Juyeon sitting in front of you?

You internally sighed. You had a feeling that this wouldn’t be any good.

Juyeon was already smiling, but it got wider when you made eye contact with him.

“Hey, I’m Juyeon,” then he asked, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

You almost gave him a sassy reply, telling him to find another girl to target. But, when you briefly looked around and saw all of the tables filled, you sighed and just shrugged in response. As he calmly unpacked his lunch with a smile, you looked away as you were having an internal battle.

In your head, you were yelling at yourself for being so stupid and reprimanding yourself for being too nice. You should have just flat out said no. Yet, in your heart, the growing feeling of guilt if you said no in this packed dining hall outweighed your thoughts, leading to your actions.

Although, now, the warning bells in your head were ringing louder than ever as everything that Changmin and Chanhee informed you about him raced through your thoughts. Amidst the panic, you came up with only one solution a second later.

You had to get the fuck away from him.

Trying to not show your shaking hands, you steadily increased the pace that you were eating, trying to finish the rest of your lunch without him noticing.

But, fate was not on your side as he started talking to you.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Juyeon smiled and asked you all of the basic, getting-to-know-you questions, like your name, major, and year.

It might be nothing. You reassured yourself. Let’s just get through this civilly.

Reluctantly, you swallowed your food and answered him.

Sighing at your responses, he dejectedly told you that he was in a different major and a year above you. He slightly pouted and looked down at his food, playing around with it for a bit.

On the outside, you just shrugged nonchalantly, but, inside, you let out the biggest sigh of relief at the fact that the chances of you two having a lecture together were low.

Getting over the feeling, he continued chatting with you, asking you a few more questions. You gave him curt replies, not looking up at him and paying more attention to your phone. After a few answers, Juyeon picked up on your disinterest and became silent, returning to eat his food, while you did the same but continued scrolling through your phone.

This was the first time that you had acted so cold to a stranger and the feeling of guilt returned, making your stomach feel queasy, but, you remembered how he hurts girls for fun and that feeling went away quickly.

After a few moments of silence, he called out your name and you glanced at him to see that he was staring at you.

You don’t know why, but you couldn’t help but stare back.

His brown eyes were shining underneath the white light of the hall and you noticed how big they were. Even though you were probably about two feet away from him, you saw his pupils gradually grow bigger as each second passed.

It seemed like… he was looking at you as if he was in love with you.

Your heart skipped a beat.

When it dawned on you what just happened, you snapped it out of and shook your head, breaking eye contact and coming back to reality.

There was no way someone could possibly fall in love after meeting twice and one conversation, especially from a player. That ominous feeling you had earlier was getting stronger. The feeling that you would be his next target.

He then peered at you with hopeful eyes. “When I bumped into you at the library and stared into your eyes, it felt like destiny.” He looked away shyly. “I know this is a bit soon and shocking, but will you go out with me?”

You were surprised, which was evident on your face as your mouth dropped open.

This couldn’t actually be happening to you.

When you pinched yourself and it hurt, you knew that you were awake.

Obviously, you were going to say no. You didn’t want to get involved with anyone who held such a reputation, and you had no time to be in a relationship.

You opened your mouth but snapped it shut, thinking through your decision carefully.

This only happened in stories and fics that you read when you were younger. In those stories, players usually chased after girls who appeared to be innocent and had no experience in love. It was considered a bonus for them if the girl appeared uninterested, motivating them, even more, to win her over. Based on that knowledge, you knew that it could take weeks to months.

And you knew that you didn’t want that either.

So, you carefully thought this through.

Changmin and Chanhee’s warnings, how Juyeon hurts girls for fun, stereotypical players like innocent girls, chasing taking weeks to months, and how Juyeon usually dumps a girl in a week.

What should you do?

Suddenly, it dawned on you, which you excitedly fist-bumped the air in your mind.

You had a plan.

For the next week, you were going to act like an innocent girl who falls in love with him, but you were also going to try to get him to fall in love with you and break his heart.

If this plan works, you get the unasked revenge for all of those girls he hurt and feel the great success of taking down a player. However, if it doesn’t, he will dump you in a week and you’ll shed a few tears. After that, you’ll call it a day and move on, knowing that he won’t contact you ever again.

Inwardly, you smirked. This will be easy.

You shyly tuck a lock of hair behind your ear and tentatively meet his hopeful eyes before saying yes.

Which leads to where you are now.

At the movie theater, walking hand-in-hand with Juyeon as he carries a bucket of popcorn in the other on the way to see some movie. You had laughed at a joke that he had made.

It’s been ten minutes since the date started, and the plan seemed to be working perfectly.

Earlier, when you met up with Juyeon, you called out his name and ran to him, engulfing yourself in his arms. Peering at him, you took note of how his cheeks were dusted pink and the tips of his ears were slowly turning the same color.

It made you inwardly grin at the sight, but you immediately let go of him, apologizing since you were a bit excited about the date. Even without saying anything, you could tell that he was dejected that you left his arms, but he gave you an eye smile and reassured you that it was okay.

Ooh, he’s pretty good at acting too. You thought. Look at him acting all sad.

Noticing your outfit, which consisted of innocent clothes that you could find in your closet, Juyeon complimented you and you pretended to like it by smiling at him then shyly looking away. You faced him to return the compliment and purposefully messed up by repeating what he had said to you. Acting like you were embarrassed, you profusely apologized to him, muttering what you were actually going to say. With a wider smile on his face, he giggled and once again reassured you that he was fine, although you could see his cheeks turning redder.

At the sight, you slightly raised your eyebrow, not even for him to notice.

He then asked to take your hand, which you gingerly took while shyly turning away. The moment that he intertwined your hand with his, you had to mentally and physically hold yourself back from yanking it out of his grip.

As you got your tickets and food, you held his hand the entire time and threw him a soft smile every so often when you caught him looking at you. And, each time, he would either smile back and you could see his cheeks turning red, or he would look away and cover his mouth with his hand. Seeing him like that, you couldn’t help but grow in confidence that your plan was actually working.

So, now, as you two were walking around just talking a bit on the way to the theater, you did bolder things. Well, bolder for you. Like, squeeze his hand or lean against his arm when someone was walking too close to you.

You could tell that he was getting flustered by your actions as now he looked red and kept looking away when you tried to make eye contact with you. Plus, when you leaned against his arm, you felt his body tense up and go rigid, then he would visibly relax when you stepped away from him.

It made you feel more confident that you could get this guy to fall in love with you.

This was going to be easy.

On the drive back to your apartment, you and Juyeon were discussing the movie that you had watched. But, right now, you were laughing at him while he pouted at you from the wheel.

“I can’t believe you cried,” you said after laughing, hugging yourself, and wiped away a few tears.

“It was sad,” he argued. “It was really sad.”

“I mean it was pretty sad,” you paused, “I was crying a bit, but then I heard you sob and, when I looked over, I saw tears were streaming down your face.” You mentioned while stifling your laughter.

“That was the saddest part!” He pointed out. “They couldn’t make their last promise of seeing each other once again come true, and you thought that would be it. But then it cuts to their gravestones being next to each other.” Pausing, he sniffled a bit. “Seeing their names carved on them got to me.” He quietly admitted, which you heard.

You wouldn’t admit it to him, but you would have sobbed too if you didn’t notice Juyeon’s tears first. Upon seeing them, you made sure to imprint his crying face into your mind because you wanted to remember it. It was the face that you will be seeing when your plan worked.

After a few more minutes of messing around with Juyeon, you arrived at your apartment complex. Pulling into a parking spot in front of your building, he parked the car. You almost let out a sigh of relief at this night being done with, although you had to admit it was a bit fun teasing him. But, just as you were going to open the door, Juyeon held his hand in front of you.

“Wait for a moment,” he asked while he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt, “stay put.”

Confused, you reluctantly did as was told, and he got out and ran to your side opening the car for you.

Actually a bit surprised, you laughed at his actions, deciding to play along once more, and curtsied, “Thank you very much, fine gentleman.”

Juyeon chuckled at that and walked you to the front of your complex with a shy smile on his face, continuing to talk with you more about the movie. You were using up a lot of your small amount of energy to laugh and talk with him. And, as you got closer to the door, you got more excited to finally get away from him.

So, when you got to the front, you turned around and stared at him with a soft smile, using the last bit of your energy.

“Goodnight Juyeon,” you tiredly said and turned around to leave, but, as you were about to bolt to the door, he stopped you by holding your arm.

What does he want?

Immediately hiding your annoyance, you innocently turned around and faced him, looking confused.

He was staring down at the ground for a few before clearing his throat and gazing into your eyes, he asked, “Is it okay if I give you a hug and a kiss on the forehead?”

Ugh. You thought. I really don’t want to.

But, you shyly nodded anyway, looking away.

He took a step closer to you and delicately wrapped you in his arms into a hug, which you timidly returned.

You two stayed in each other’s embrace for a few seconds, which felt like a lifetime to you before he pulled away and lightly brushed his lips against your forehead. That drained you of your energy.

He then smiled and pulled away, saying, "I'll text you later." Then, he turned around and was about to head over to his car.

However, your pride told you to not let him have the satisfying feeling of having the last move. So, you grabbed his arm, pulled him back, and turned him to his side, kissing him on the cheek.

Just as quickly, you released him and ran towards the door, punching in the code before running inside and around the corner of the wall. Hiding behind it, you peered out, checking to see if he was still there.

And he was. Juyeon stood there for a bit, looking dazed. His ears and cheeks tinted red, and you saw him slightly cheer by punching the air once before walking back to his car.

Once you saw him drive away, you turned around and started heading to your apartment.

This time, you didn't stop the small, confident smile growing on your face.