#i could write a whole meta off of this it doesn't make me normal that's one thing for sure

[shadystranger]

obsessed with dean's earth-shattering mental torture when sam was getting needled into the head with two beings walking inside him (he greenlighted all of this)

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SEMI FINALS

*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to the post length!

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like,

Kim Dokja: I didn't cry

The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying]

Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

^ same submission, just spacing it out

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening.

Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’.

Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

^ same submission, spacing it out (i really should've done this earlier.)

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart!

as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____”

yoo joonghyuk: companion

kim dokja: cunt

^ same submission, once again. spacing it out.

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

[empressofthewind]

Hey there, Meronia fan! Do you mind if I ask for Meronia fics recs? And, do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dynamics remind you of Mello/Near?

You can't imagine, how excited I am to find your blog. Let's just say in my older anime/manga group who love Death Note mostly ship Lawlight & Matt/Mello, anti Meronia and are Near haters. So when I said I love Meronia, some blocked me and said I was the weird one. So, I never said it again. But now, after I got out from that group I feel better. Then finding your blog with amazing Mello and Near's metas, I'm so happy! Thanks for your blog...

Thank you very much!!! I'm so happy to hear this :-) in my experience most people on Tumblr are pretty normal about Meronia, and it's SO easy to block/filter users who aren't.

Unfortunately re: ships with similar dynamics, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'll put this post in the ship tag; I'm sure someone else will have an answer!! In terms of fic recs, I've actually set up my bookmarks page on AO3 to function like a rec list. I have 36 fics there each with a little blurb and I'm constantly updating it, so hopefully a decent amount that you haven't read! I'll pick 10 of them to link here for easy access (ordered by rating in case you can't/don't want to read the mature ones):

the roof by @lightningblade | 3692 words | Rated T

This is a college AU focused on the development of Mello and Near's relationship through a series of encounters on a rooftop. The writing is GORGEOUS, the progression is masterfully done, and it removes the element of the rivalry without removing the core of what makes Meronia such a great ship! There's also a companion piece up as of yesterday which I'm still recovering from (very very positive).

Dear Mello by @tzviaariella | 4158 words | Rated T

This fic is written during the canon timeline through a series of emails. It's an AU where Mello survives, originally written for the 2023 Meronia Zine but also posted on AO3 (which is what I've linked here). The format is really creative and I'm OBSESSED with the way Mello and Near's dynamic is written. The petty back-and-forth is very entertaining and in-character, and there's a certain familiarity and fondness underlying it that I adore. There are also a few artworks throughout which is a nice treat!!

How to Get Any Guy to Fall in Love with You by Sick_head_Sweet_heart | 7025 words | Rated T

This one has such a late-2000s fandom classic feel to it that I'm surprised it's only a few years old??? It's set at Wammy's House, in which Matt gives Near advice on how to make Mello fall in love with him. The dynamic is insanely cute and I'm obsessed with the way Matt and Near's friendship is characterised here. Them scheming together is something I need more of in fics!!

The Mihael Factor by spiritcrimson | 16 chapters | Rated T

One of the longest completed works I've ever read for Meronia and I have been DYING to find something like this ever since. It's a talent agent x singer AU, and it's literally everything I could have asked for in a longfic. A unique idea, compelling progression and a fun antagonistic dynamic that blossoms into a really sweet romance. It's a slowburn but it doesn't drag on at all, and the ending is SO well worth the wait.

3 + 1 by @squidish | 2423 words | Rated T

x + 1 fics are a favourite trope of mine, as is the general concept of Mello and Near behaving inappropriately in the workplace, and this one combines both of those perfectly. The premise is 3 times Mello and Near got walked in on by one of the SPK members, and 1 time they were caught by the whole group. The writing is SO delightful and there are several lines in this that are permanently lodged in my brain. I find humour in writing immensely difficult to pull off so I'm always in awe of authors who can integrate it naturally, and squidish's writing is a great example of that! (Worth noting that this one is slightly more mature than the other T-rated fics here, so I've put it closer to the M & E section; however the smut scenes are not explicit)

it's friday, i'm in love by @neallo | 2676 words | Rated M

You could read literally anything by neallo and it's guaranteed to be good, but to keep this list short, I've included one angsty fic and one lighthearted fic so you can pick the vibe. This one is more lighthearted, and it depicts a very tender moment in which Mello shows up at Near's door drunk and dances with him in the kitchen. This is a prequel to a bigger AU focusing on a casual relationship between them, but it also holds up as a standalone fic! It's unbearably sweet and there are many lines in there that made me audibly laugh.

Speculation on Demisexual Sex Drive by SayHiDestery | 4069 words | Rated M

The smut scene in this fic is so intimate and perfect, I'm melting just thinking about it. It's an established relationship fic in which Near has PTSD and has certain struggles with intimacy, and Mello guides him through it. It's quite slow-paced and takes its time to linger on the small details, which I absolutely adore, and the writing itself is vivid and beautiful. It also features demisexual Near!!

Winning the Game by clearmain | 4134 words | Rated E

This one is a PWP set mid-canon, immediately after the raid on the SPK. I'm a huge sucker for bold & bratty Near and that's EXACTLY what this fic serves. The way this introduces elements of rivalry and competition into their relationship is excellent and makes this fic feel faithful to their canon dynamic. It's a compelling push-pull with an open but hopeful ending that very succinctly captures the complexities of their relationship.

A Certain Hush by BlueberryAsh | 5434 words | Rated E

One of the first fanfics I read for Meronia and I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. This fic has had SUCH a massive influence on the way I view and write the ship. It's a little glimpse into Mello and Near's relationship immediately after getting together. It's really cute and sweet in a way that feels authentic to the characters, and I'm incredibly impressed by the way it manages to give just enough backstory for their relationship to make sense without getting caught up in the details. Genuinely a masterpiece!

i want to hold you (hostage) by @neallo | 4 chapters | Rated E

The aforementioned angsty neallo fic! This one is an exes AU set during the canon timeline, and it is, as you can imagine, a very fraught dynamic done SO incredibly well. The tension is absolutely delicious and there are earnest moments littered throughout that are guaranteed to have you tearing up. Brilliant setup, brilliant writing, brilliant dynamic; just an absolutely stellar fic on all counts!!

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "A Tour of Odd Squad" Episode Followup, Part 2

Part 2 of this very meta episode continues! Who's the adult without any children villain? Find out below the break!

It's like they realized we've gotten so few songs sung in the franchise that they're paying people back with interest for it.

odd squad tour

doesn't sing an odd squad song and instead just gives us the end

God- sh- e- what the hell, Rob?!?!?!

Ohhhh...so the guy was a red herring.

That...changes things. Doesn't change my opinion about the episode all too much, but I don't know, I'd say they got me pretty good.

Funny how I mention "Into the Odd Woods" and then a few episodes later we get clowns pie-ing themselves in the face.

Y'know...just like Omar.

Putting aside the fact that Opie seems to have smartened up considerably in between "The New Ozzie" and this episode...I do like how this episode is taking the "villain dresses up in obvious clothing" cliche and turning it on its head by having the villain wear completely normal clothing so they'll be disguised.

It's almost like...they might be aware of the cliche. Hmmmm...

Or likewise, that villains actually are criminals because real-life criminals do not dress in ridiculous getups.

For a second, my mind went deep into the gutter and went, "If he serves them food and one of them has an allergy to that food..."

But no. No. Not for this episode.

"You've led me right to the Power Room."

"And you'll have to get through us first!"

"A few small children? Ha, don't make me laugh!"

MS. ELECTRIC!!! ELECTROCUTE HIS ASS!!!!!

...I'm sorry, that was the first reference that popped up into my head. Bro got electrocuted somewhere down the line though.

Okay, we get it, it is meta, and they loved it.

"Always have a villain on the tour."

Or in actuality, "If you have not stepped foot in a birthing room and laid down and popped out a child, or supported someone popping out a child, then welcome to the Odd Squad Superfan Tour, my name is Opie, and let's begin!"

And your credits for this episode. My guess is that these episodes combine both segments' credits together in the same run -- hence why we have other characters not seen here in this episode. I...can't believe it took me this long to realize that, lol.

(On the plus side, someone's getting a lot of mileage out of LGBTQ+ triangle villain this season. They're giving a "fuck you" to critics and going hard.)

---------------------------------------------

Overall, this was an okay episode with a mix of good and bad things. Wasn't really what I was expecting, unfortunately, but I did very much enjoy the red herring. If this episode really is some kind of a jab at adult fans of the franchise...it's not really a good one. This franchise has done better jabs at that group of people, and quite frankly I don't take kindly to shows that make jabs at the whole of the periphery demographic instead of, say, just creepazoids within the demographic.

But naturally, this is a Rob joint. And the last Rob joint I did a followup on wasn't too good either. So I wasn't expecting anything crazy stellar. But this episode could have been so much better for being a part of a 10th-anniversary series, and instead what we got was...nothing really of substance beyond an Oscar mention, like that makes it okay. And the meta stuff. That too.

In essence, this plot is basically what you hire fans to write. And frankly, I could probably pull it off better than Rob did. Anyone in the fandom could pull it off better than Rob did. There's a challenge for ya.

Next up on the block will be "Club 37", which, if I'm not mistaken, features unicorn Rainbow Dash. So I'm gonna become even more insufferable with all the MLP references! Huzzah!

Seren out!

[lavender-teardroplettes]

You should do Miguel and Si hcs (Weathering Feelings VN)

Since idk how many people have played it I’ll suggest doing so before reading this post since it’ll contain spoilers!

Hcs under the cut!:

This one’s a little more interesting than most to me due to the nature of the game and Miguel looking at the PLAYER and less so the stand-in he has for you in game, gets a little meta in the best ways in my opinion. UwU

Si would find the general idea for the game really cute assuming the download page is a little different from the irl itch page and doesn't include any spoilers. It would be neat if the moment he downloads it the page is gone since it's meant for him and no one else. (though this is an open mc headcanon even if it wasn't Si, I just think it's a neat idea). While he knows games aren't the same as getting real therapy, sometimes it's nice to harmlessly vent to a game just to get it out.

I think he'd play a "normal" route where he wouldn't notice anything off about the game just yet, not hitting the right flags right away and putting the game down for a day or two before booting it up again to try and get a new route with one of the other Doctors before going back to try and do a better route with Dr. Nubloso....only to get him again even after picking different answers. Weird...but he thinks "maybe I have to hit a flag first and clear his route first." He does better the second time around, but now things are getting...weird, and he notices that the game sprite seems to be looking directly at him.

Once he gets to the part where things get really weird and Dr. Nubloso starts talking about going into the game files before the route ends, Si gets really spooked and closes the game again. He's surprised and a little shocked at the change of pace in the story, but he also can't help but be a little curious about what would happen if he did delete the file. It's also around 2-3 am at that point of time, so he also thinks that maybe he fell asleep or misread something in his sleepy state. He sleeps on it, opens the game again, and plays through one more time to make sure, once again giving different answers, and once more getting the Cloudy Day therapist.

Once he confirms the weird ending and the request of deleting the file, Si looks around in the game files before finding it. His curiosity gets the better of him after a little debate with himself, and he does. Now....When he boots up the game again he is NOT expecting to see Miguel at all, and he certainly wasn't expecting to be talked to directly. He almost yelps and turns off the game again, but something pulls his attention to the new development and tells him to stop and hear him out. Maybe he's overacting and this is just really good...specific writing? So he plays on, almost exhausting each available line of dialogue Miguel has for him, even replaying them a few times before Miguel acknowledges what he's doing and gives him the whole 'oh, you're testing me and my loyalty' speech. And...he has to admit, he does feel a little bad for the character by that time....that is until he hits the nsfw route and gets WAY MORE flustered than he should've been. And yes....he played both routes. ovo

By the end of it, he gets the ending where Miguel resolves to break out of the game for him, and he's left confused when all that loads after is a glitched screen. He does some more digging in the files and finds some "easter eggs" from Miguel, getting flustered at two of the special pictures hidden in the files. Curiouser, Si- seemingly out of a whim- decided to read the game's script...and his stomach drops when he notices little notes hidden in the game's files from Miguel- even down to the nsfw scenes. Before he can really react or fully process that this could be real, there's a knocking at his door..... Miguel came to find him just like he said he would. :)

That's all I really have for now since it's been a hot minute since I thought about how this would work given what we have with the current demo, but as you can see it's a really fun premise to play with!

[penig]

I feel a little creepy bringing this up, but I also think it's important for people to realize it. Especially people who work out their issues through fandom a lot - cheaper than therapy, often more effective, been going on for millennia, go forth and do what you need to do.

Authors engage with their fiction at a personal level, too. Authors work on their own issues in fiction, and don't necessarily understand that they're doing it until afterward.

I have a writer friend who was in an abusive relationship. She got out of it about the same time I had a personal crisis that deeply involved my marriage. We were able to talk about these things to each other in a productive way. One of the things she said was: "When you reread what you wrote during X time later, you'll see that you were already telling yourself about this."

Most of this author's mid-career was spent writing thrillers, about being trapped, misled, and harmed; about making mistakes and taking responsibility; about choosing options that other people think are bad for you, because for you they are the safe options. Once you know some details of her experience, you can see exactly where the abusive relationship began and roughly how it played out, and how all of the stories she wrote during this time, and during the long period of her recovery, had him for a villain, until she was finally able to kill him off the way she needed to. Since then, she's written a joyful celebration of art and community; she's written a medievalist fantasy of self-discovery; she's done the work she had to do and gone on with her life at last. But it wasn't until she was safe that she could even admit to herself that she'd been writing about her abuse the whole time she was being abused.

Lots of people have engaged with her thrillers at the surface level; we will never know how many people engaged with them to do the same kind of work she was doing; or how many engaged with them to do different work on different issues; or what qualitative difference it makes to all those processes to know how her personal history shaped her work. This is the nature of the beast.

One of the ways people work on their issues with art is through creating for themselves - fanfiction, meta, formal litcrit, adaptation to other forms of media. This is normal. Usually it's healthy. But it doesn't have to be. This is not something that can be judged from outside. Sometimes people who really, really ought to have therapy cling to a fandom instead and this...is not always productive. And sometimes people get into parasocial relationships with creators in which their own real issues get all mixed up with their imaginary construct of the creator.

So that's enough vagueblogging. It's time to talk about Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Who were two very different people who were best friends forever. Who were both writers doing what writers do. Who early in their careers collaborated on a religious satire in which their work got so mixed up together that they couldn't always tell who had written what in its final form, and which featured major themes about friendship, including two best friends forever collaborating, not particularly effectually, to save the world. Who had fun identifying themselves with those two characters. Who liked the idea of a film adaptation, who actively wanted a film adaptation, but couldn't find an acceptable way to do it within the industry. Who verbally worked out the details of a sequel, but never could actually sit down to write it together, but who continued to influence each other's work in ways that anyone reading both of them could see easily if they cared to look.

(Coraline and The Wee Free Men were written and published almost at the same time. I read them one after the other. The two books are very different reads, in different genres, but at the high concept level, they are the same story. Tell me that's a coincidence and I'll shake my head and say "Bless your heart, child.")

And then one of those friends got a debilitating disease and died.

And the survivor became determined to bring about the film adaptation and to get the sequel made, explicitly for his friend's sake.

Even though his friend would never see it, and it meant new collaboration with new people.

Good Omens (TV) is the best film adaptation of a text work I have ever seen in a longish life of being disappointed by film adaptations. S1 made me happy; S2 made me happy and sad and ultimately (perhaps inevitably) dissatisfied; I hope that S3 will make me happy and satisfied. But there is a level at which that doesn't matter. Gaiman has repeatedly expressed gratification over the way people have embraced it; but he's not doing this for us. And he's not only doing it for Pratchett.

He's doing it because he needs to process what happened when his best friend got Alzheimer's and died. Maybe he doesn't know that's what he's doing - but he clearly is.

Pratchett's illness and death are all over the adaptation. We saw it even in S1, we talked about it, the difference between Crowley and the Bookshop Fire in the book and in the show, and people openly recognized that the difference was between a young artist working with his best friend and an older artist whose best friend had died. That was simple; we all got it. Some of us didn't like it, but we got it.

But it's all over S2, too, and here it's not simple, it's a big complicated mess. The villain of S1, who wasn't in the book at all, shows up sporting the most noticeable symptoms of the disease that killed the member of the creative team identified with the character the villain goes to for refuge. The original creative team's avatars are suddenly working at cross-purposes when they seem to be allying where before they were allying when they appeared to be working at cross purposes. Mirrors function in the plot again but they're confusing. Memory is a huge theme but it doesn't resolve. And the character who is the avatar of the creator who died goes off to a Heaven it knows is a horrible place and leaves the avatar of the creator who survived angry and miserable on Earth. All in the service of setting up that long-deferred sequel.

And the thousands of people who are in a parasocial relationship with the survivor and are livid, or feel betrayed, or otherwise take this personally - really need to accept and remember that.

[psychologeek]

So, I noticed something interesting:

I was asking people to come up with a name for "a program that specialises in therapy for criminals/villains/ anyone with legal problems. I have TBL (Therapy Beyond Law) but it feels lame".

And an interesting thing I found was that even though I didn't say anything about the program... Un village them.

Some of the offers included:

"Revive - Rehabilitating Every Villian Into Viable Employees"

LAW (Legal Aid for Wretches)/( Legal Aid for Workers)

Villain Anonymous

league of Super Enemy’s rehabilitated (LOSER)?

(I also got some interesting ideas! But that was a common thought)

Which is... weird. It could be on me, since I made it sound like it's a "villains' fix-it" , but my thoughts were based on some things:

Therapists have ethical codes, and in many places laws about having to report to the authorities. (Like if someone tell them they're gonna kill someone and have a plan, cases of child abuse, etc.)

What do criminals that require mental support do?

The mental equivalent of a "back alley doctor".

Like, this made up program is supposed to be where ppl who can't/doesn't want to go to therapy at someone with ethical/legal code can find help via this.

It's all distant-locarion based, like phone and Skype and Zoom, only their own kind. For security reasons. And it's firewalls all the ways down with the best hackers on the job and maybe some magic users and a cyborg?

Anyway -

It can doesn't have to be about crimes.

Honestly, most people come to talk about "normal" things, like depression and stress and relationships and all.

There are those who come because they don't want to be known by the government, bc of paranoia or witness protection or family or social issues.

There are metas, or magic users, or aliens - coming looking for a place to openly talk without the fear of being exposed or reported.

So you have a big ass, 7 feet green person talking about their body image issues and being rejected by society and everyone look at you with disgust and hating you because of your skin colour.

And you have an alien talking about cultural conflicts and physical differences and feeling isolated and alone. Or being turned between the people who raised you (that you love) but you want to know more about your birth family and don't want to upset them.

And a witch coming to tslk about how to come out to her mother - there's a lot of love there, but also a traditional family. And she laughs and telling you she doesn't know what would be harder for her mom - finding out her kid's a witch or finding out she's bi.

And of course, there are criminals. But most of them come for things like "How to improve my relationship with my kids" or getting help for depression or anxiety.

(sometimes they talk about crimes. But it's usually like "I have panic attacks since my car blew up. Why? Oh, bc I killed that monster's brother. Anyway, how can I go back to driving?" )

And there are, very few, like trafficers coming for things like "how to make the cargo last longer" and "sometimes they cry and it piss me off".

(which is... not something a usual supervisor can help you deal with.)

And sometimes they come bc more than one reason - bc a 7feet green person CAN'T find a "legal" job, so they also talk about hurting ppl.

And that alien might have a blue-and-orange morral, and is horrified by the whole concept of "burial", but also can't understand WHY he can't shape shift and look like someone else (exist) and the concept of identity theft.

Anyway. I'd love to hear your ideas/fics. Just please let me know if you write anything with this concept. Thank you 😊

[tobiasdrake]

Something I've mentioned before: I'm not really a fan of the whole fourth-wall breaking meta-awareness thing as a serious plot point. Like, I don't hate when characters break the fourth wall. I think you can get some hilarious gags and bits out of it. But the more it interweaves into the story, the more I start to have problems with it.

I thought I'd take a moment to delve a bit more into that.

Like a lot of people, I discovered Doki Doki Literature Club through word-of-mouth. I heard a lot of people gushing about it. "There's this dating sim that suddenly turns into, like, Silent Hill psychological horror!" And naturally, I had to go check that shit out. That sounds wild.

And it was. The game lived up to its hype, and Monika was every bit the charming yet dangerous menace that I'd heard her to be. At least, at the time. I played the game to its end and I felt satisfied.

But.

More and more, as years pass, I find myself thinking back on Monika. Because the more I try to understand her character, the more the gaps in her complexity become apparent.

Monika's character motivation is that she became aware of her function in a Dating Sim. As the head of the titular Literature Club that serves as the basis for the dating sim, she hosts all of the events, but is not available as a romance option herself.

Infatuation with the player and frustration with the game's design for not giving her a romance route of her own ultimate drives Monika to increasingly desperate lengths. She frantically manipulates the game code in an attempt to force the player to interact with her instead of with the other girls - With horrific consequences for the other girls.

On the surface, it's a really cool idea for a complex meta-villain driven to madness by comprehension of her role as a fictional character.

But the more I think about it? Like.

Okay. Walk with me to this pier.

Monika's sole motivation is that she was pissed off about being excluded from the dating sim's romance routes. So. Here's a question.

Why was she excluded from the romance routes? Why, in a dating sim, would the beautiful, confident, and highly intelligent leader of the girl squad not be considered a viable romance option? Who would actually make a character like Monika and not give her a route?

The answer, of course, is that Monika doesn't have a route because the game needs her not to have one, for the sake of her villainous motivation. That's it. That is the only reason she isn't romanceable: So that she can be driven to madness by not being romanceable.

Her reaction to discovering that she's fictional is similarly suspect. The problem is that she doesn't have a route. And once she obtains the ability to reprogram the game, rather than writing a route for herself, she... starts messing with the other characters' files to try and coerce the player into picking her at selection screens where she is not an option? That's pretty bonkers, Monika.

It doesn't really achieve her goal to do that at all. Because, of course, she can't be allowed to achieve her goal. She can't be allowed to make choices that might actually work. We need her to be the villain of the game. So she can't be allowed, within the constraints of her writing, to do things that might actually get her what she wants.

Are you starting to see the problem here?

Monika's fourth-wall awareness doesn't give her more agency in the story; It actually gives her less. Because she is, like every other character, still a slave to the writer's pen. But the illusion of freedom forces her to engage directly with the creative choices driving the words from her mouth, rather than sheltering under the narrative's pretense of free will. It exposes her directly to questionable creative decisions that could normally be ignored.

She is still just as much of a stick figure as Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. But because the game pretends that she makes choices, it lays the bare the choices that were nonetheless made for her, never giving her a chance to actually grasp for what she wants - And then ultimately punishing her for the decisions she didn't make.

This is how every character is, when you get down to brass tacks. But the fourth-wall serves as insulation between audience and creator, so that we can buy into the illusion that there are real people onscreen making real choices. But once you break that fourth wall? It becomes that much harder to take the character at face value, and to overlook the puppet strings holding them up.

And this ultimately makes the character shallower, not deeper. Monika, ultimately, did nothing wrong because Monika did nothing. She is a villain solely because she was created to be a villain; With the puppet strings so thoroughly exposed, she is capable of no more complex characterization than that.

[celestialholz]

A fascinating thing...

Hallo friends, I'm back to meta the beautiful man that is Larry again. :D

Now, I want to preface this by saying: Larry doesn't have a canon love interest, and on this blog, we love and support any and all ships that involve people of legal ages. If you ship Larry with Saguaro, valid; Rika, valid; Grusha, valid; self-insert, valid; Geeta... don't get that one personally, but you're valid; Old Man Trio, valid. I love you, your opinion matters greatly, and I have happily read all of the above and enjoyed them.

... But me, personally? All about that vanillacupcakes life. And I thought for a while, despite Katy using an ace that is a Normal type, that that was as far as the symbolism went. It was more that I liked the idea than anything, y'know? Larry deserves a soft but fierce person who will step on him after baking him brownies, and she gets a nice battle challenge when Geeta makes her go soft on the students... it just works for me, honestly. Bi4bi. <3

... But, well... I've noticed a thing. Dangerous that, when you're me.

Yesterday, wandering around during my Fairylocke, I found this:

... Huh. You can find this lovely lady bear in Dalizapa Passage, up on some rocks, and... not only is it Flying, but it's also female, which Katy's Ursaring also so happens to be.

But, hey. Even though the odds of this are very low... easy to write this off as a coincidence, right? Well, you'd think... and then there's this guy.

Just up from the Secluded Beach, in a swampland area, is this Flamigo. A male Flamigo, in fact... just like Larry's.

... Would anyone care to hazard a guess as to what the odds of this being random, each with its correct gender, is?

It's 0.00077% (so my dear pal Han tells me, I'm not this good at maths) factoring in the eighteen types each of these could have been, with each Pokemon gender available to each species - or put another way, 7.7 in 10,000.

... Do you know what the random shiny odds are in this game? 1 in 4096, as it has been since gen VI, or 0.0244%.

This is only around twice as less likely to have happened than a full odds shiny post-gen VI, which is... huh. These are the only two wild Tera Ursarings and Flamigos in the game, and just in case you were curious...

There's only one other Flying/Fighting type in this game, Hawlucha. Guess what type it is?

... And there's also a Bug/Flying type, Scyther, who just so happens to be a Normal type.

May have to rethink that whole 'they've got no symbolism' thing...

[itsclydebitches]

Totally agree with your take on The Blacklist “(…) I’m watching the stupidest plot-line man ever devised, or a character suddenly did a 180 with no explanation, and yeah that makes the meta-writing part of my brain seethe and bite her imaginary pillow to muffle screams of rage… but then the characters have A Moment™, or there’s an actually well done twist, or we get an action sequence that yeah, is pretty silly when all is said and done, but it’s fun and I remember why I want to watch this show through to the end.” is exactly how I feel when watching lol

You know, I'm two episodes from finishing Season Three and while killing time today my poor brain was trying to unpack the roller coaster that has been Liz's opinion of Red lately:

Grows quite close while on the run, to the point where she'll impulse hug him and seek comfort in other ways following traumatic situations (like almost being shot). Fantastic. Love to see it. Makes perfect sense given 2+ years of interactions, revelations, and Liz's current circumstances.

Gets her life back and immediately decides that she wants Red out. Okaaaay. I've never questioned the whole 'I want a normal life and you make that impossible' perspective, but you'd think that everything they'd gone through would change her stance a bit from what we've seen in Seasons One and Two.

They settle back into working together non-stop, but Liz simultaneously insists that she doesn't want him around, a contradictory desire that's been a problem since the show's start and is pretty much ignored instead of being resolved. (Which, given the show's premise that requires them working together, should be resolved by Liz changing her stance on what a 'normal' life means. Which is what I THOUGHT we'd accomplished post-fugitive plot-line).

We get a series of episodes where Liz is literally pushing him away in the first half and then, like, holding his hand in the second??

Is completely adamant that she can't have a kid because Red is in her life.

Decides to keep the kid in large part because Red insists she should have the child in her life.

'Omg, Red, you need to stay away you're not safe for my family!'

'Omg, Red, I'm so happy you came to the wedding! :D'

Has pretty normal (for them) interactions surrounding the wedding debacle, including quippy dialogue and making light of horrifying situations. We're on familiar ground.

Is, again, her normal self where she (understandably) is pissed about shit like giving birth in a night club, but ultimately caves to the insanity that is her life.

Takes a hard turn into full-blown fury. No, you can't hold my baby. Get out. Get away.

A few minutes later Liz is falling into a coma and holds Red's hand: "Oh, Raymond. I do love..." Use of 'love.' Use of 'do.' Use of the first name. Supposed last words. Blah-de-blah I'm about six years behind and fans have analyzed that scene way better than I ever could.

Okay so Liz has been conflicted in a lot of non-persuasive ways and yeah, so much of this is contradictory/nonsensical, BUT if we're charitable we can write a lot of it off as traumatic venting and when the chips are down these are her real feelings--

Psych! She apparently faked this whole thing to try and achieve her normal life.

(Don't even get me started on stuff like the long scenes of Tom grieving when, from what I understand, he was in on the plan the whole time? You should only show the audience moments of 'grief' when he's around other people so we can later understand it as an act! Showing the viewer private moments of him talking to Agnus when he has no reason to hide what he really knows/feels in that moment doesn't work!!)

So I'm quietly seething at the absurdity and lost potential, heading home all, "That's it. I've got better shows to watch. I'm finishing this ONE EPISODE and then we are done, Blacklist."

The episode:

[Aram is the cutest cutie to ever cute, adorably blundering his way through working with Tom]

[Cooper stands his ground and announces to friend and enemy alike that he'll never stop trying to get justice for Liz]

[Red pulls a legitimately impressive one-over on the bad guy du jour]

[Unexpected moment of relief when a background character nobody survives a bomb]

[Dembe exists]

"FINE. I'LL KEEP WATCHING. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE B

Hamlet Propaganda:

Have you seen the man. Is he clinically insane or just putting on an antic disposition. Is the ghost real

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like,

Kim Dokja: I didn't cry

The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying]

Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

^ same submission, just spacing it out

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening.

Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’.

Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

^ same submission, spacing it out (i really should've done this earlier.)

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart!

as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____”

yoo joonghyuk: companion

kim dokja: cunt

^ same submission, once again. spacing it out.

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

[darkshrimpemotions]

This popped up in my notifications again and it's such a good addition and one of the reasons I emphasize whenever asked that this meta is looking at SPN through a very specific, limited lens. And also why I feel that SPN's homophobia problem is far more...solvable, shall we say...than its racism problem.

Like the homophobia of SPN is loud, but not deep. It could be more or less resolved with a few key tweaks to the narrative and characterization. Let Dean be openly queer. Don't kill off or disappear all the queer characters. It wouldn't be perfect, but it would be miles better with just those two changes.

But the racism of SPN is DEEP. It can't be resolved by tweaking the plot a bit. It's in the worldbuilding, the casting, the writing, the humor, the basic premise and mythology of the show.

There's a whole concept of "Americana" that's central to SPN's entire deal, and that concept is inextricably tied to the country's history of white supremacy and colonialism. Even the "road story" format is pretty heavily tied to settler colonialism. The whole notion of some white working class middle American finding some essential Thing--be it self, purpose, home, etc.--by traversing the expanse of the country is just a reenactment of Manifest Destiny being played out over and over.

There isn't some easily-articulated overarching WHY behind the racism of SPN. It's in the unexamined biases of dozens of writers, casting directors, set dec, the show's creator, the material that inspired him. It's in the very history of the show's setting. It's in the lack of characters of color. It's in the roles they're chosen to play. It's in the way those characters are treated within the narrative, the way they're fridged or brutalized or forgotten. It's in the lack of awareness and examination in the writers' room across the board.

And it's also in the fandom.

I'll admit, limiting this meta as much as I did to only a queer lens only wasn't an active choice. I wrote about what I saw as a queer person. As a white person, especially 2-3 years ago, I didn't see the racist aspects of the show until it was pointed out to me. I mean I recognized that there were specific episodes that had issues, but I didn't see how racism and colonialism permeated everything in the show. And even after I began to learn, I didn't feel...qualified, for lack of a better word, to write extensively about it. I still don't feel qualified. But I don't think that excuses me from making the effort.

So yes. Deviance in service of the community still upholds the norm. That's a beautifully concise way to put it. In show, Dean and Sam have often framed it as sacrificing their chance at a normal life so someone else doesn't have to, or doing the work no one else can stomach. But ultimately, it's still acting as exterminators of the Other to protect the white middle class American dream. And Dean and Sam being positioned as at odds with the white American nuclear family thematically doesn't change the fact that they're also positioned as its xenophobic serial killing protectors narratively.

The reason SPN is both quintessentially queer and quintessentially homophobic is because it’s a straight man’s fanfiction of a queer text. That’s really it. It’s a straight man seeing the isolation and liminality and impermanence of queer life in the mid-20th century as told in On The Road and romanticizing it, and wanting to claim it for himself.

Which of course doesn’t work, because in positioning his main characters as protectors of the middle American heterosexual nuclear family, he has already fundamentally misunderstood them. Their very existence is something middle America views as a threat, and middle America is to these characters a trap, a prison, a slow death rather than a quick one for which they nevertheless yearn because we are all taught to do so. (Perhaps what they truly yearn for is to want that life, but I digress.)

The American road story, the drifter’s story, is a queer story. It is not compatible with the white picket fence, in fact the white picket fence’s primary purpose is to shut it out. The white picket fence is a symbol of stability, comfort, prosperity (conformity, stagnation). The road, on the other hand, is a symbol of upset, disquiet, transience (freedom, transformation). Adventure and uncertainty are the cornerstones of the road story. It simply makes no goddamn sense to take characters from the road story and position them as protectors of the middle American nuclear family when their very existence is positioned as a threat within the cultural context of middle America.

Keep reading

[yuanzhous]

hi!!! I've been following u for a while and ik u're super into hanwenzhou and tbh i never really got it. but now I'm genuinely curious like what is the appeal? i hope this is okay to ask and doesn't come off as negative or smthg i just genuinely wanna know!!! also i love ur blog btw!! <333

Ahh thank you, you're sweet! <3 Doesn't come off as negative, don't worry, at this point I kinda feel like I ought to issue an apology to the non-hanwenzhou crowd for spamming their dash with it every day. I'm into it a normal amount, as you may have noticed 🤭

I don't really think I can give an answer that doesn't venture into headcanon territory, or isn't influenced by all the fic I've read, because Han Ying has a pretty limited role in the show (but a main role in my HEART :D), so bear that in mind.

Part of the appeal for me is definitely whatever unspoken history he has with Zhou Zishu. Of course you don't have to read it as romantic, but I think if you want to explore his character at all you do have to venture into why he's like that about Zhou Zishu. Like, when we see him alone or interacting with other characters, he's cold, competent, arrogant -- I didn't at all imagine that he was going to be one of the "good guys" (in many many air quotes because...it's WOH) when we saw him threatening Gao Chong for the Glazed Armor, you know? I actually think it's a shame we don't get to see more of that, both to get a better gauge of who he is outside of Zhou Zishu, and because it would highlight how different he is with him.

When it comes to the hanzhou aspect of the relationship...I've been meaning to write an actual fancy-worded meta about it for months but I keel getting distracted by feels. Idk, something about the lethal devotion, the unresolved pining, the history that leaves so much to the imagination. I also feel like their every interaction is so inexplicably tender? Interestingly, I think their first in-show meeting in episode 8, which got a lot of people, myself included, to thinking there's some feelings at least on Han Ying's side, is also the most guarded -- compare to the...I'm sorry but it's almost a morning after scene, in ep 10, or all of ep 29. I think in ep 8 they're both playing up their respective positions and the dynamic those assume. Look at the two bow lifts! Yes, both of them make me melt, but I think the second is even more vulnerable? And Zhou Zishu, after JUST having realized he messed up by giving Wen Kexing the Glazed Armor and kickstarting the whole Four Sages of Anji mess, just gives another piece to Han Ying like it's nothing. I know I'm reaching, but if it is within reach, why should I not? Headcanons are free real estate. This is turning into a rant, but to wrap up: I just can't help looking at them and think there was something there -- most probably, unrealized or unspoken, but it was there.

As for Han Ying and Wen Kexing, which I think might be more of an...eh?? How? To people who aren't already into it (and that's fair!), I'm really interested in how drastically Wen Kexing's attitude towards Han Ying changes within literally all of two meetings? By Han Ying's death, Wen Kexing obviously cares, even if it's just because he realizes that Zhou Zishu cares, and I think it's kind of a turning point for him and how he thinks about the collateral damage of his plans? I love exploring what their dynamic could have been! I think they could have found a lot of common points, even besides (puts on shipper goggles, yeah, sorry) an undying love for Zhou Zishu. They're both mostly solitary people, with strong loyalties, a generous helping of ruthlessness and a casual disregard for their own lives, and this is still simplifying it. Both of them want to belong without really hoping for it. I genuinely think they could be good for each other. Hell, I'd be happy to read 100x fics where they're just really good pals, I just think they deserve more people in their lives who will care about them. But also...kidnapping your lover's not-quite-ex and holding him by the throat is sexy?

How it all comes together: they are all, and I cannot emphasize this enough, fucked up people, and I love them for it. In many interlaping ways, but also in vastly different ways, and I think they would balance each other out. I love wenzhou's zhiji relationship, but I also like that they don't (immediately) have that with Han Ying: I think they could understand and complement each other very well, but they have to work hard at it.

If this giant block of text didn't put you off, tell me your thoughts, I'm curious! And in case you're curious enough to feel like taking a foray into fic...there's some gems out there that I cannot stop screaming about, so hmu :D

[david-box]

This isn't intended to be like baity or whatever but I really don't see Guillermo's line about nothing ever changing or even how that relates to this being a line in a sitcom on a meta level making the finale an example of the type of meta/existential horror where the characters are trapped in a narative. I'm not sure how to word this but first off, those kind of stories kind of need the characters to be at least partially aware of a sort of magical or cosmic futility about their situation. Like, yes, literally speaking, characters being forced to fail because they were written that way is horrifying in a certain light, absolutely. But it's not really horror for you to not pass a test if you don't know it's because you're written that way. Devoid of consequences or framing that's just... Not getting a C grade. Stressful, important, life altering maybe, any other adjective you could use about yourself (as characters presumably would do about their own life within the text) or from a writing perspective yeah. It's not just not automatically cosmic horror to write a story.

Also, a horror story where the characters are forced to return to status quo every episode or season or so on requires a lot more force against the characters from the narrative to really make it a part of the genre. Characters need to fail because they can't succeed even if it'd realistically work, not because they were written to fuck up. WWDITS returned to it's status quo because most of the character's attempts to change fundamentally revolved around flawed wants and needs, and some of those attempts were more or less stumbled in and out of without the characters even entering their arcs on purpose. Nandor absolutely did try to change and fail, but he didn't change his sense of grandeur or his selfishness (he's not shitty with Guillermo anymore because Guillermo set a boundary. Also he should have checked on Guillermo but on that note wtf did Guillermo do after he landed in England? Like he couldn't find Nandor?) or really analyze why he's lonely and disconnected beyond "Vampirism makes me feel bad." He failed at becoming more human because he's a cunt. Lazlos successful arc of his relationship to Colin Robinson (successful because things changed in this case) shows his vampirism has nothing to do with his bullshit. Guillermo stumbled into becoming more confident by accidently tapping into literally genetically coded abilities to do stunts and shit and actively used that to his advantage but ended up just an ignored familiar again because his solution to the proble.s with his codependency was getting more respect and stealing money, not disengaging with this nightmare of a household. Nadja only got into trying to get more power because the Baron showed up and her ventures failed because she doesn't like acknowledging her deficits in the kind of skills you need to run a nightclub. Remember how boss she was in s1? Yeah, maybe she could still run a nightclub. That could be a good idea, if done right. The nightclub when it was running properly was fun as fuck. But if she wanted to run one she can't just bully it into working - if she just wanted to terrorize people she could fix the house by hypnotizing a bank into wiring a couple thousand. Or, like, find the bank account. Maybe consider the fact no one else knew that damn pin number to the bank account. Or why she didn't know. Etc. Etc.

Tl:Dr I don't think Guillermo's line about nothing ever changing isn't a clever build up, reference to, or attempt at existential horror tbqh. Also idk if it's really "everything goes back to normal and nothing changes" horror if one of the characters gets his own supernatural kill count and another one raises a whole ass child like Lazlo's not the same! Guillermo's not the same! Lol

[hiccstridshipper19]

Oh wow what an answer! I love that you put all this time and thought into it. I'm really glad this gave you the opportunity to write and process your thoughts on something so emotional, so absolutely do NOT apologize for taking all the space you need.

Similarly, I also binged the whole season in one day (actually half of season 1 and then season 2, I tried to not binge but it's just not my style) and finished at almost 2 am. I was so in shock I did not sleep.

I see a lot of people defending Aziraphale saying he doesn't deserve hate, but I actually have not seen anyone directing hate at him. Honestly, it never once occurred to me that any of this isn't how it should be. I felt that it was tragically beautiful, hitting the most rightfully painful spot of how angst comes. I'm not sure if this makes sense, maybe I'm just too much of an angst enjoyer 😅 When the ending was approaching and things started going south, I knew there isn't enough time left in the episode for a reconciliation scene (unless we have another episode or something, which there isn't). And even though my head was screaming "NOOOONONONOOONOO", somewhere in the back of my mind I was also like, "yeah, it just HAS to be this way. Of course it does."

Anyway, I also took to the internet immediately after and got scrolling, reading every meta post I can find. It took me a bit of time to settle back down from my state of internally-shrieking-24/7, and I'm only just starting to feel my brain return. I agree with a lot of the posts I'm reading explaining the whole situation. Honestly, these people put it into words better than I ever could. They reminded me of all the little bits and moments where I picked up something not quite smooth in Aziraphale and Crowley's dynamic, but didn't have the time to give it space while binge watching (I really should give not-binging a try shouldn't I? It all went by so fast that I didn't get to savor the experience of each episode and its own sort of Feel. Having seen the finale, I will never be able to take my mind off of it again whenever thinking about the other parts, whereas if I'd given myself time to breathe between each episode, I could've had more chances to enjoy the happy stuff before the finale inevitably puts a whole twist on it all).

It was very easy for me to understand why Aziraphale would choose heaven, since he's always been, at least verbally, fiercely on that side, which he believes to be fundamentally good. He seems to have never stopped denying being away from the side of heaven/goodness. I've seen several posts going in-depth about the different philosophies Crowley and Aziraphale have regarding the system and what their solution to all this should be, and you did a wonderful job as well sorting out how the two perceives each other and their relationship. These are all really good points and very well put discussions. For me myself, I can very much relate to Aziraphale here, the struggle of still choosing to align with something despite clearly knowing it isn't all good, simply because there are some parts that are still believed to be salvageable, and that others are just not seeing those bits. Yes there are flaws and there are toxic people around, but steer clear of those people and we'll be fine! So it makes total sense to me that of course Aziraphale would take up the offering to fix things, since "I must do good and be righteous" is at his core, and what he believes to be also at the core of heaven's operations.

Now I am a bit hung up on the part where Aziraphale originally was not going to accept the proposition unless he can be with Crowley, but Crowley isn't going, and Aziraphale went ahead with it anyway. Yeah I'm not really seeing that. Perhaps it's just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing because he was so upset, and he almost, ALMOST, stayed.

So that's where I'm at for now, 48 hours into recovery. I can't say I'm normal yet, and I don't know how long, if ever, when I will be again. I'm just gonna have to live with it until it becomes the new normal. I'm not usually the type to write meta-analyses, so I'm not sure if any of this is actually good input. Yours or anyone's further discussion is always welcomed! Would love to message about this as well. I do hope we can all tough through this and live to see season 3, whenever that is. I think I'm at an okay place with all the logic behind the storyline, it's just all So. Damn. Emotional, and that's the main part I'm grappling with.

And yeah, Neil really got the jump on us calling it "quiet, gentle, and romantic". 🖕(affectionate)

Hiya! I've been following your blog for a while and can't help but notice that we share at least two fandoms. As a fellow suffering soul at the mercy of GO's season 2 finale, how are you doing?

First of all, know this ask made me smile and thank you so much for asking that. It's not every day in fandom life that we get a finale as heartbreaking and devastating as that and I love the people who have asked me how I'm doing about it. I love that this is a fandom where we're all supporting each other through all the heavy emotions.

I'm... I'm okay. Mostly. Probably. I think?

If you don't mind, I'm just genuinely gonna tell you how I feel about it. (Edit from the future, this got long, I'm so sorry lol) I went into this season expecting quiet, gentle, and romantic, and therefore, on that first watch-through, I was looking for quiet, gentle, and romantic. I didn't know what the season was going to be about other than that. I thought I was looking for the ways in which Crowley and Aziraphale were growing closer, and they did! But in that, I didn't know I was also supposed to be looking at the ways that they weren't communicating. I didn't know I was supposed to be looking at all the ways they clearly haven't healed from their traumas.

And so, when we got to that scene in the end, I was incredibly confused by Aziraphale. Crowley has always been my favorite character in this story, I relate to him most and I feel I always understand him. So I pretty quickly got his side of things. But Aziraphale... it just felt out of nowhere (and a little bit, it was. The Metatron really did just kinda show up and offer Az all of that) and it felt like I'd been betrayed a bit.

I thought Aziraphale had learned better about all of this at the end of season 1. That Crowley doesn't need to be an angel, he doesn't need to change. That Heaven is just as bad as Hell. That Heaven isn't exactly a system one person can just... fix. And for the first 5 episodes of this new season, I didn't recognize him struggling with any of this in the present day. He was happy and in love and he was okay with moving on.

And I was so confused why he was considering this, especially after seeing Crowley's reaction. And then after the kiss, Aziraphale still didn't really want to go to Heaven, he was gonna turn back. And he didn't because the Metatron rushed him. He went too fast. And I was so pained by it. Michael Sheen just ripped me apart with how he portrayed all the emotions Aziraphale was feeling. The microexpressions moved so fast it felt like I couldn't hold on to any one emotion any better than he could.

And so my heart was broken for Crowley, and I was confused and betrayed by Aziraphale. But I binged the entire season in one night, it was early morning when I finished it. I was tired, and I watched the season not actually knowing what I should have been looking for. And so I knew that it wasn't that Aziraphale was suddenly a bad character or something. I'm quite shocked by the people hating on Aziraphale's character. My first thought after I finished the season was literally, "I missed something. It's not Aziraphale's fault that I don't understand where that came from. I'm gonna have to rewatch this entire season when I'm more rested and watch it much slower. I'm gonna have to read all the meta written by people who still love and understand Aziraphale after this."

And that's what I did. I haven't rewatched the season yet, but I have been reading a lot of meta about Aziraphale's character written by people who genuinely seem to understand him. It highlighted a lot of things I'd missed the first time. The parallel between Lindsay and Nina and Heaven and Aziraphale. The fear that Aziraphale has been living in ever since Job, where he thinks he's crossed the line and deserves to fall. How his greatest temptation, in the eyes of Heaven, wasn't the food or giving away his sword, or lying. It was his relationship with Crowley.

I didn't realize how the purpose of the creation of the universe scene was that Aziraphale saw how happy Crowley was. And that he's willing to risk everything, his freedom and his beautiful life in the bookshop so that Crowley can be happy like that again. Because Aziraphale spent 6,000 years watching Crowley reject his own kind nature, his own impulse to do good, for the fear of Hell's punishment. It's not exactly that Aziraphale wants to change Crowley. It's that if Crowley was an angel, he could go back to freely being nice, and doing good. They could be together because there wouldn't be the threat of the Other Side coming for them and ripping them apart.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. He loves Crowley. But he is still scared of what Heaven thinks of it. Heaven still thinks that angels and demons can't be together because they're on opposite sides. And the powers greater than them who believe this will always try to rip them apart.

He just wants a better world for Crowley. He wants Crowley happy and safe. Is this the way to do it, no. I think Crowley is right that Aziraphale can't change Heaven. I think Crowley is probably scared out of his mind right now that Aziraphale is going back into the lion's den. Because Crowley watched for 6,000 years as Aziraphale was manipulated by Heaven, he saw how scared his angel was. And now he's going back under some misguided understanding that it'll be different this time.

I think that's what Crowley was thinking about in the car in the end credits. I think it was part "I can't believe he chose Heaven over me, because he wants to fix Heaven FOR me, the idiot." and part "He's gonna be manipulated again. And when he realizes it, he's gonna be so scared."

All Crowley wants in this world is for Aziraphale to be okay. Wants him to be free and safe. Free to eat whatever he wants without guilt. Free to do good because he wants to, not because he's had his orders. Free to dance with a demon. Free to be an us. Because he watched Aziraphle be scared of these things for millennia. He watched his angel think he deserved to be a demon for it. And he doesn't. And now Aziraphale's gone back to a place where there is no food, he won't have the opportunity to do clever good deeds in human's lives (he'll be running heaven), and Crowley simply can't follow him back there.

But then, I also believe the metas that have noticed that both plans are unsustainable. Aziraphale won't be able to change the system. And Crowley couldn't keep them running forever. They'll have to find the secret third option to be free to be together safely for eternity, and that's what season 3 is gonna be about.

So, to circle back to your question, I'm not okay lol. But I will be. I believe that this is one of the best stories ever told, and the more I understand Aziraphale and Crowley's characters, the more the ending makes sense, and the more intrigued I am about what else I might have missed that I'll need to rewatch to figure out. The kiss still breaks my heart, but I wouldn't change a thing about it because it makes sense and it played out perfectly for their situations and who they are. It's beautiful in a heartbreaking way.

And I do have a sense of peace about all of it. Even when I had just finished the episode, I knew it was all going to be okay because that divorce was literally about how much they love each other. Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. Neither of them have much experience with that. So Aziraphale struggles to accept it, and he's scared to show it back because what if it costs them everything. But Crowley doesn't struggle like that. He's been left behind on earth, for now. But I have no doubt that as soon as his angel needs him, he'll be there.

Aziraphale will probably say he's sorry. And Crowley's just gonna give him a hug, tell him he loves him, that he's not gonna say I forgive you because neither of them need forgiveness. Not anymore.

It actually feels really good having written all this out like this, I've not talked about good omens much, even though I've been reblogging a lot. I'd love to talk to you more about all of it, if you want. And of course, I want to ask you how are YOU doing? What are your thoughts on all of this? How are you holding up? My ask box and my messages are always open!

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

Tell me about your dynamic with Elias! I’d love to hear about it

Ah, that's kinda like... Half the problem, I suppose.

There isn't a whole ton to hear about?

I've seen a lot of other self shippers, and I haven't heard anyone openly talk about this? So I'm assuming out of one of my many disorders, I am having a Prime Time Symptom. Either way: I have a really hard time just writing a ship.

This is normally fine? I just end up getting really into conceptualizing the lead-up to the ship, and that's fun itself! The other component to this is that I have a really hard time changing what's already been written, unless I honest to god hate it. I think Scenecore Mad Max's Adventures only transitioned so well into something else, because there was genuine lore development in F94G's (note for the unaware: my main madcom s/i) lore that needed addressing. The core dynamic did shift some, but it was to account for that.

That's really been the only time I've been able to do all that, and then go back and change it. (I promise that this is going somewhere.) S/I is made, backstory is established, things are written/drawn, ect. Oroboros eating its... Ship? It's the repeat of how my ships develop.

This is context for the fact that Elias and Sanya don't really have... A dynamic. Exactly.

What ships get based off of is kinda random. Sometimes its a projection ship from the same fandom, a trope I saw in passing that my brain hooked onto, y'know. Something outside of myself. I'm not super good at conceptualizing ship dynamics otherwise.

Sanya and Elias were originally based off JonElias (note: I tried to cram them into being JonElias for ease of access.) Needless to say, it didn't stick. My projection character of choice (Michael Distortion) doesn't really interact with Elias... Ever? Nor is he shipped with him, not even as a crack ship. Those like 2 or 3 fics of it on a03 are all by me. (Unless?? I started something??)

But even beyond that it has taken me about a year or two to even have a stable s/i. I have ran through so many for TMA in general, let alone the ship canon where Sanya is specifically with Elias. I went through concepts related to myself in-system (I'm a Bakeneko mythic,) concepts related to things in the show I latched onto (a Leitner was a recurring feature for a long time,) to sometimes just throwing darts at random concepts and praying my brain stuck with it (usually "what if Sanya was avatar of [x], with [x] changing every now and again.)

Needless to say, that process might not actually be over, because I don't know how much I like the current concept either. TMA has been particularly challenging to self-insert into. I compare it to carving a place out with a small shovel, to plant myself among the other characters. TMA feels like all its roots are too close together, and its hard to find a pleasing place to even poke my spade at.

(The current concept is someone touched by each entity, but instead of ascending to a terrible-no-good-godhood like Jon later does... Fae is just in an avatar limbo, unaware fae is even supernatural (despite being like... around Jonah's age.) It's a meta commentary on how much development hell Sanya has gone through in TMA, and I thought that was funny.)

All of this in mind: Elias (or really any other TMA f/o) has been... Difficult. Oddly enough, though, Elias has been the most difficult. Between all the people screaming from the heavens that he's unrepentant garbage and "why do people like him," and all the people who begrudgingly include him in their content JUST to make fun of him... Somewhere in all the discourse, it was even harder to stab a shovel into anywhere to clear room for myself.

I think it's kinda warped my perception of what the ship could even be, because the closest I can come to conceptualizing a dynamic between Sanya and Elias is one pursuing the other, but the other being lividly, meanly not into the other. It's genuinely like distressing as fuck.

Hence the seeking of reader content I can enjoy, I kinda hoped that I could try to use that to correct my perception of a Sanya/Elias dynamic. I only read smutt though, and basically all of it is afab in some fashion. So I can't read it.

So anyway sorry for dumping pandora's box on your lap, but you've caught me at a stressful time and inadvertently asked about a stressful ship.