#i changed this to maya last min LOL.

[dvstbvnnies]

* / @wingsandahalo​ ( maya x ?!?! )

“if i don’t look like my profile picture, then who do i look like?”

[thehare1234]

TV Roundup

In the last couple weeks a lot of shows ending, some good some not as good (or just not my favourites)…but right now so much diverse and interesting TV is on my screen so I can’t complain! Also Interview with the vampire coming to Netflix (yay!!!)

Spoilers below:

QL Shows

🪨Century of Love (9-10)(end): wellll I’m glad we got a happy ending, the last three or so episodes of this definitely brought the drama lol…I loved fake Vad riding in on her motorcycle last minute, and I liked that we never found out who Vad actually was. All in allll, a satisfying enough ending, even if the end sort of dragged in my opinion compared to the rest. (8/10)

🦋My Marvellous Dream Is You (Ep 11-12)(end): alright alright I finally finished this show…and I have many thoughts. Overall I actually think this show was doing some interesting things and had interesting things to say about not only the fear and stress of being in love with your best friend and not being able to make the first move, but the added layer of being a woman in love with another woman when the rest of the world is loudly and silently telling you to marry a man to be happy. Kim’s moms dream for her was to have a wedding, and it seemed ideal because it was a decent (at first) wealthy man. So yeah there’s also a lot of ideas about comphet in here. Like I said, this show had a lot of interesting ideas and it didn’t shy away from the angst. If you don’t like angst and miscommunication it’s not for you…but the final confession scene to me was more satisfying because we had the build up. In my opinion, the last episode was sort of pointless? Like 3 mins was just a straight music video and Marwin becoming a cartoon villain…also they seriously underused the side couples which could have been a nice balance to the mess of the main couple… (7/10)

🏡Knock, Knock Boys (Ep 12)(end): wow, all the threads more or less tied together. Keeping the show silly and fun till the end. Jane has a girlfriend?!! I loved watching this show every week and honestly would rewatch it. Also the change in Peak this episode was so beautiful like he really just became a whole new person (9.25/10)

☀️I Hear The Sunspot (Ep 7-8): my fucking heart, I’m crying…hoping to settle this miscommunication and maya subplot next episode tbh because damn this is too much for me to handle my poor Taichi 😭okkkk episode 8 got them back to communicating, I loved Koheis relief when Taichi agreed to be his note taker and I like how their relationship is developing

✂️Ayaka is in love with Hiroko (Ep 7-8): mama plsss stop spilling the beans!!! I like that we got Hirokos backstory and I feel like her feelings are so valid! And like I get Ayaka is younger but I don’t get how she had no clue why Hiroko wouldn’t want to be out 😭 and her decision was to confess her love in front of the whole office??? WHY??? I don’t understand what is happening take me back to the good old days. Friendship moment is cute between Risa and Ayaka tho…ok this show continues to bring up being queer in the workplace and maybe some of the different thinking/dynamics with generations way of thinking but it just feels like it’s not fully hitting for me like something about the tone these last 2 eps feels very different from the rest of the show

🫛This Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans (Ep 6-7): ahh yesss a love triangle (or multiple love triangles?). This show is honestly kinda hilarious like I truly don’t know who they’re gonna deal with the Kluer problem, the lying reveal, the competition and the ex girlfriend in 2 episodes? Again this show to me is no thoughts head empty romcom and if I don’t think too hard I have fun. This does not apply to JJ and Methas tho…them I am genuinely obsessed with like listen I just love the dynamic of like JJ being the one thing he can’t buy with money and their pseudo date I just am a fan….and wow still a lot to get through in just one episode but I’m ready…the way he let Kao Suay down was a little wild like “I forced myself to like you…basically?” but honestly it maybe was needed…I’m still fully invested in JJ/Methas and I’m readdddy for Methas to show that he’s choosing him not his money

🕓4 Minutes (Ep 2-4): wellppp this show visually great and I just know I’m missing so many clues/details each episode but like I’m fully invested in the mystery/ timeline theories. I’m definitely with the Tonkla storyline being the real timeline and Greats storyline being the alternative timeline and them starting to merge

🐢Monster next door (Ep 1-4): ahhhhhh I love this show it’s just giving me romcom feels and just two people who really like each other like yea ok I’m in! I’m looking forward to learning more about Gods character and seeing what conflicts come between them and how they are able to work through them. For now they’re just really cute :) but damn GIVE THE TURTLE A BIGGER TANK

📺I became the main role of a BL drama (Ep 1-2): so far this show is lots of fun..:like the way it’s revealed he’s a Stan and the things that come from that is genuinely funny and I love how they’re still telling the story well with the limited runtime…overall I’m having fun

🥭The Loyal Pin (Ep 1-3): so far this show is deliveringgg on the visuals and the chemistry of course is great…I like we got to spend time with them as younger so we can see where they come from. Also princess Anin coming back and knowing exactly what she wants and being so forward is such a nice change like I really like the dynamic and damn she kinda has rizz…I’m glad to have these sort of lighter episodes before the angst I know is coming

🍜Cooking Crush (Ep 10-12)(end): welp I’m so glad I gave this another chance because I really found the story got better as time went on and more and more I loved these characters, the romance but also the friendship! And I liked all the different family dynamics at play that were explored. I just feel like I loved how all the couples in this show were there for each other and were able to be a support system for the other. And that they communicated how they felt. But yeah for me a slower start which ended in just such a happy feeling :) I also loveeee the intro song/dancing in every episode hehe (9.25/10)

👔The Trainee (Ep 7-8): welll damn it has truly gone down. First, Jane and Ryan omfg the tension…I liked seeing Jane start to make mistakes or have his professionalism break because of his feelings. For Judy/Tae/Bahmee I liked the convo Tae and Bahmee had at the end of the episode I thought it was actually a pretty good conversation and mature decision to break up and just realizing they were not right. To me Judy is still moving wild like how you gonna kiss your intern and not even seem to have any regrets??? I think probably her thoughts about it will be in future episodes because so far this show has shown how interpersonal conflicts are affecting the work and how there are consequences to these things…I’ll be interested to see how it plays out

🌊Love Sea (Ep 10)(end): listen the end of this show had some greats moments, I like their talks on the beach I liked how we got Mahasamut a little bit of a backbone (but a not so great tattoo imo, but do you). The Vi/Mook stuff was genuinely so frustrating to me like after a lacklustre romance with some interesting things to explore they choose to just, abandon it??? Anyways not a huge fan but it’s ok. Overall this show I just felt like it had some good some bad but I don’t feel strongly at all lol (7.5/10)

🤫The Secret Of Us (Ep 7-8)(end): another GL has come to an end and you know, the wedding was really cute, the whole last episode was cute. Then just being together and joking with each other was nice. The mom evil villain arc to accepting them because? Earn cried? I don’t really get but that’s ok…I wouldn’t say this show is amazing but it made me feel things and the actors were doing a great job even when the story (to me) wasn’t really making sense (7/10)

Other Shows

✍️I May Destroy You (Ep 9-12)(end): the last few episodes have just solidified this as an amazing show. It made me feel so much watching it and made me reflect so much on my own life and I loved how it portrayed each character as a whole human being who makes mistakes and the idea of Arabella at the end choosing to let go. The last episode really was just so well done…there’s so much to say and I loved reading other people’s interpretations and thoughts of this show because there’s so much you can get into. One thing I saw while reading was that the Ben character was supposed to be a sort of call back to the “black best friend” character trope by being like the random white guy who is just there to offer wisdom and doesn’t get a story of his own which I thought was so smart (10/10)

👯‍♀️Hello My Twenties (Ep 10-12): alright season 1 down! And what a journey…this show has a low budget and a lot of heart and I love the bond between all these girls being at the centre…even when almost all their lives are genuinely wild…I didn’t even mind the last minute kidnapping plot it just felt right for this story. I’m ready for season 2 lol… also this show is big for people who love yearners

🏥The Hospital Playlist (Ep 3): another show I was convinced to watch by my gf lol…and I enjoy it so far like I loveee a friend group and I love a slice of life slowly learning about everyone’s lives, etc. I felt so bad for Ik-Jun like finding out your wife cheated then having to go do an organ retrieval on your old patient 😭 but yeah all I can say is I’m excited to slowly work my way through this. But now I really wanna go to karaoke lol

🩲Old Man Underpants (Ep 6): this episode was focused on Mika for the most part. And was beautifully done…i loved the build up to the dinner and all the small moments that add up to her final « outburst » and I loved the end of buying the concert tickets and realizing how important it is to recognize the people in your life for what they do. I love how this show is giving a story for all the characters and just a really beautiful story of being not always being their best but realizing their mistakes and trying to do better.

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[kacychase]

“I do”

AeGi; yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking lol

My  mirror  image  looks  so  different  from  the  usual.  My  hair  is  made  up  in  a  hairdo  that  is  more  elaborate  than  I  have  probably  seen  for  a  while  –  Rika  and  Maya  insisted  on  making  the  make-up  and  hairstyle  extravagant.

To  be  honest,  having  been  younger,  I  bet  it  would  have  felt  a  bit  different  from  today’s  standards.  Though,  today  is  a  bit  of  an  exception.

Nope.  That’s  an  understatement,  today  will  be  one  of  the  most  terrifying  days  of  my  life…  What  if  I  just  got  out  of  here  with  Nol,  and  we  would  just  sit  in  the  Wac’s  a  few  blocks  from  here?  That  would  have  been  awesome.

But  probably,  the  white,  beautiful  dress  I’m  wearing  would  get  too  dirty  for  it  to  be  ruined  by  the  street’s  mud.  Its  lace  for  the  long  sleeve  and  the  v-neck  cut  really  makes  my  rather  slender  figure  look  less  like  a  stick.  Taking  in  a  deep  breath,  I  realize  that  maybe,  this  wedding  won’t  be  a  disaster  –  after  all,  my  friends,  the  Parks,  Nana,  dad  and  Rika  have  all  helped  me  through  this,  and  I  bet  Dieter  and  Soushi  were  Nol’s  anchors,  too.

I  bet  he’s  just  as  nervous  as  I  am.

“Shin-Ae,  your  necklace  is  put  in  the  wrong  way,  do  you  want  me  to  turn  it  around?”  Ah,  that  was  what  made  me  look  in  the  mirror  in  the  first  place.  Keep  your  head  together,  Shin-Ae!

It’s  not  like  he’s  any  less  nervous  than  I  am.  Well,  maybe  I  did  most  of  the  organizing  of  the  wedding,  but  honestly,  he  probably  is  just  as  nervous  as  I  am  about  becoming  my  husband.

Yeah,  that  must  be  it.  I  am  about  to  become  his  wife,  huh?  That  means  Mrs  Lochlainn.  Yeah…  Thinking  about  it  now,  his  proposal  feels  like  yesterday.  When  Nol  proposed  to  me,  it  was  oddly  romantic,  and  he  looked  like  he  wanted  to  escape  all  throughout  the  date.  Kinda  rigid,  but  at  least  I  found  out  why  after  we  decided  to  go  to  a  chicken  joint  instead.

Oh  man…

Anyway,  I’m  going  to  marry  in  30  minutes,  and  my  heart  feels  like  running.

“Shin-Ae!  Do  you  want  to  talk  to  your  dad?  Or  Min-Hyuk?  You  look  dead,”  Maya  deadpans  with  a  single  glance  into  my  direction,  shortly  checking  her  make-up  before  looking  back  to  me.  Rika,  through  the  while,  just  peeks  through  the  door,  then  turns  back  to  the  two  of  us.  “Well,  your  dad  is  definitely  at  the  door,  Min-Hyuk  looks  like  he’s  talking  to  Dieter  and  Soushi  about  something,”  she  announces  at  our  direction,  having  Maya  exclaim:  “I  bet  it’s  a  good  idea  right  now!  We  will  check  if  everything  in  the  wedding  goes  according  to  plan,  okay?”

This  is  going  too  fast.  Feeling  my  hands  shiver  about  the  whole  thing  and  the  fact  that  the  wedding  event  has  started,  I  feel  like  my  mind  is  blanking.  For  some  reason,  I’m  a  bit  scared  of  messing  up,  becoming  tongue-tied  when  the  vows  start.  Not  keeping  up  the  vows.  Being  a  bad  wife.  Everything  about  this  is  kind  of  strange.  But  thinking  that  Nol  is  my  husband  from  today  on  makes  it  reasonable  again.

“Alright.  Thank  you  guys,  I  owe  you  one,  for  real,”  I  sigh  in  distress  and  smile  at  my  two  bridesmaids.  Although  we  were  off  to  a  rocky  start,  we  really  have  grown  close  over  time.  “Just  repay  us  when  Dieter  finally  marries  his  fiancée,”  Maya  nonchalantly  replies,  while  both  women  in  their  yellow  dresses  head  to  the  exit

But  even  that  doesn’t  compare  to  the  way  Nol  and  I  have  evolved  into  two  dorks.  Even  during  the  times  when  I  was  crazily  stressed  out,  he  somehow  manages  to  put  up  with  my  attitude.  How  does  he  even  do  that?

Either  way,  I  could  need  him  right  now.  At  least  I  will  see  him  at  the  altar  I  guess.  When  we  are  about  to  listen  to  the  priest,  vow  to  each  other,  kiss  and  be  husband  and  wife.

Ugh,  this  is  going  to  be  something  else  for  sure.  I  could  use  a  good  old  hug,  or  a  laugh,  or  some  chicken.

But  my  father  entering  the  room  is  what  makes  me  rethink  rushing  to  Wac’s  for  a  Wac  burger  as  he  closes  the  door  behind  him,  and  maybe  his  excited  face  reminding  me  of  the  occasion.

“There  you  are,  Shin-Ae.  I  was  already  wondering  if  they  had  abducted  you  or  something,”  dad  says  as  he  approaches  me,  then  takes  a  halt  to  take  in  the  way  I  look  –  a  beautiful  bride  about  to  be  bound  off  to  the  man  he  used  to  hate.

He  would  have  hated  any  man  that  would  come  into  my  life  anyway.

His  stunned  but  soft  and  moved  voice  hits  me  as  he  mutters:  “My  beautiful  daughter,  about  to  marry…”  Closing  the  distance,  he  carefully  watches  as  he  probably  debates  whether  he  should  hug  me  or  not.  “This  guy  still  doesn’t  deserve  you.  If  it  went  by  me,  he  would  have  been  hist-“  “Dad!,”  I  interrupt  him,  “Who  else  will  support  the  fried  chicken  industry  as  much  as  he  does?  We  need  to  keep  him  alive,”  I  argue  back,  a  smile  creeping  on  my  face  as  I  giggle  eerily.

Today  really  does  it,  huh.

“Well,  you  seem  very  happy  honey,  and  I  hope  that  you  two  can  continue  to  be  there  for  each  other.  That  guy  really  blooms  with  you  around.”  Whenever  I  hear  that,  my  heart  starts  melting.  I  know  that  Nol  and  I  appear  to  some  as  the  ‘OTP’  (not  looking  at  Maya  at  all),  but  I  always  feel  a  little  softer  whenever  I  see  Nol  being  happy,  smile  like  the  fool  he  is,  or  actually  just  hearing  someone  how  great  he  looks  in  general  whenever  he  speaks  of  us  and  the  engagement  stuff.

At  least  now  I  know  that  Nana  didn’t  entirely  force  him  into  proposing  to  me.  But  we  do  have  a  catholic  prayer  included  into  the  ceremony.

My  stomach  feels  oddly  bubbly  right  now,  and  I  wish  I  wasn’t  so  affected  before  I  would  even  see  my  redhead  idiot  fiancée.  “Dad?  I  don’t  know  what  to  do  right  now,”  I  admit  to  him,  feeling  myself  take  in  a  deep  breath,  suddenly  hyper  aware  to  the  way  air  fills  my  lungs.

“I  am  about  to  go  out  there  and  vow  to  him,  and  everything.  I  don’t  even  know  if  I  am  a  good  fiancée  or  not.  What  about  wife  then?”

  Silently  listening  to  me,  dad  does  not  really  say  anything  as  silence  spreads  itself  in  the  room,  and  I  slowly  concentrate  on  my  breathing  as  Nol  has  taught  me  once  when  I  was  close  to  panicking  because  of  the  nurse  job,  and  it  has  served  me  for  quite  an  amount  of  times.

“Shin-Ae,  this  guy  is  already  happy  to  have  you  the  way  you  are,  don’t  worry  about  that,”  he  just  says,  strokes  his  fingers  through  his  hair  to  look  at  my  hair  and  my  make-up.  “This  guy  looks  at  you  as  if  you  saved  his  life,  and  look  at  you.  Now  both  of  you  are  here.  I  think  that  should  already  make  the  case  that  he’s  happy  with  you  marrying  him,”  he  finally  answers,  “Now  come,  let  me  give  you  a  hug.”

Feeling  his  arms  hesitantly  embrace  me,  I  also  lay  my  arms  around  him  slowly  to  avoid  getting  anything  from  the  dress  caught  onto  his  elegant  suit.  “Thanks,  dad,”  I  just  mutter,  careful  not  to  stain  his  shoulder  with  make-up  either.  “No  problem,”  he  responds,  releasing  me  seconds  after.

“Now,  how  long  do  you  need  to  revise  on  the  speech?”  he  asks  as  he  goes  back  a  few  steps  and  looks  at  the  cards  I  have  prepared  to  reread  before  I  might  blank  out  on  them.  “I-I  think  I  got  it.  I  revised  it  at  home  quite  a  bit,”  I  respond  with  another  breath,  stealing  a  glance  at  the  tiny  little  flashcard  that  I  have  tried  to  write  so  much.  It  feels  like  too  little  now.

In  my  nervous  stupor,  I  swear  I  wish  I  could  change  the  speech  right  now  and  just  add  more.

“Honey,  you  will  do  great,”  I  hear  dad  say  and  I  nod  absentmindedly.

“It’s  really  just  Nol  I’m  talking  to.  He’ll  probably  goof  out  more  than  I  will,”  I  mutter  and  stifle  a  chuckle.  I’m  just  as  bad  as  him,  so  I  shouldn’t  laugh.  Technically.

“Alright,  because  I  think  it’s  time  already.”

  This  sentence  makes  me  feel  a  huge  stone  weigh  down  my  stomach,  but  my  dad’s  genuine  doesn’t  tell  me  otherwise.  “What?”  My  voice  sounds  like  it’s  choking  on  itself.  “B-but  the  people  don’t  sit  yet,  do  they?”

“Actually,  they  wait  for  you  now.”

“OMG  WHY  DIDN’T  YOU  TELL  ME!!”  My  nervousness  shouldn’t  be  this  terrible.  “Sorry  dad!”  I  immediately  add,  feeling  sorry  for  my  little  outbreak.  “Let’s  go!”

“Alright,  honey.  Here  you  go.”

  And  as  he  gives  me  his  arm,  I  intertwine  my  left  one  with  his  right.

When  the  both  of  us  go  down  the  hall  of  the  church,  everything  feels  so  incredibly  dreamlike.  All  the  past  work  in  the  months  before,  all  the  organization  that  went  into  today,  all  the  guest  lists  and  seat  orders  and  bills  and  themes  –  they  all  fade  into  nothingness  as  I  finally  see  my  redhead  look  at  me,  his  eyes  so  intense  and  so  glassy  that  my  heart  might  jump  any  time.  His  smile  is  so  genuine  and  so  full  of  happiness,  and  I  can  see  nervousness  ooze  from  him  as  much  as  from  me  as  we  slowly  approach  him,  dad  still  firmly  holding  my  arm.  If  he  hadn’t,  I  really  don’t  know  what  might  have  happened,  but  the  way  Nol  and  I  look  at  each  other  now…  It  makes  all  the  doubts  and  fears  go  away.

I’m  ready  for  a  long  life  with  this  goofy  bigfoot.

  The  steps  to  the  altar  have  made  me  worry,  but  now  that  I  can  finally  see  Nol  within  my  reach,  I  suddenly  feel  calm,  as  if  I  didn’t  need  to  look  for  my  husband  anymore.  But  as  my  father  releases  me  with  a  smile,  all  I  can  see  are  Nol’s  smile,  and  I  swear,  teary  green  eyes.

My  heart  is  wrenching  as  I  see  one  drop  from  his  right  eye,  and  my  own  eyes  water.  Is  my  smile  even  a  pretty  one  at  this  point?  I  don’t  care.

“Dear  beloved,  we  are  gathered  here  today…,”  the  priest  starts  to  say,  and  he  is  a  friendly  one.  His  way  of  speaking  about  us,  our  duties  for  each  other  as  husband  and  wife  from  a  Catholic  standpoint  somehow  is  really  encouraging  and  sweetly  put.  I  am  glad  that  we  got  him,  and  before  the  ceremony,  I  remember  him  wishing  us  the  best.

While  I  smile  and  nod,  I  can’t  help  but  catch  myself  stare  at  the  freckled  groom.  There  he  stands,  in  a  suit  that  makes  him  more  handsome  than  he  already  is,  styled  hair,  a  yellow  boutonnière  and  funnily,  a  last-minute  addition  of  the  pizza  cufflink  Min-Hyuk  has  bought  him.  I  think  he  has  mentioned  that  he  got  them  for  him  last  week.  Looking  at  all  the  groomsmen,  I  can  see  Dieter,  Min-Hyuk  and  Dieter  looking  at  us,  and  as  I  glance  at  them,  each  of  them  smiles  at  me  and/or  gives  me  a  thumbs  up.  Trying  to  suppress  a  chuckle,  I  look  back  at  my  groom,  my  heart  already  elated.  His  face  tells  me  so  much  to  the  point  that  I  can’t  breathe  for  a  second.  Another  tear  falls  down  his  eye  and  he  smilingly  wipes  it  away  with  his  hand  as  my  heart  aches  to  hug  and  kiss  him.  But  for  now,  holding  hands  should  work.

This  man…

This  man  makes  me  cry  at  my  wedding,  too.  “As  now,  the  groom  can  from  now  on  proceed  with  his  speech  to  the  bride.”  With  a  short  Thank  you  smile  to  the  priest,  Nol  now  locks  eyes  with  me  again,  so  much  more  intense.  For  a  while,  nothing  happens  as  we  just  stare  at  each  other,  until  he  breaks  and  laughs:  “Sorry,  I  didn’t  know  that  a  wedding  could  make  me  this  nervous  today.”

A  few  short  laughs  fill  the  room,  mine  included.  In  the  background,  I  can  see  Shin-Hye  film  the  whole  thing,  but  I  couldn’t  care  less  right  now  as  my  eyes  gravitate  back  to  his.

“Shin-Ae.  When  I  first  met  you,  it  was  when  you  splashed  orange  juice  at  me  in  a  burger  joint.  You  stood  up  for  your  friends  and  gave  us  a  piece  of  your  mind,  even  punched  my  school  uniform  clean.  Back  then,  I  had  no  clue  what  a  ride  I  was  in  for,  and  what  kind  of  person  you  were,”  I  can’t  help  but  chuckle  at  the  memory.  I  was  a  socially  awkward  person  just  trying  to  make  things  right  with  the  little  money  we  had.  When  I  met  you  the  second  time,  you  stood  up  for  your  beliefs.  ‘I  don’t  care  whether  you  are  the  son  of  the  prime  minister  or  a  random  cashier  at  a  food  mart,  you’re  a  human  first’,  you  said  to  me.”  As  he  mentions  said  thing,  I  feel  starstruck.  He  remembers?  How?  Even  I  barely  remember  what  I  said  to  him  years  ago  at  the  party.  His  genuine  but  also  proud  smirk  is  telling  me  that  my  reaction  must  be  obvious,  as  I  hear  his  speech  to  me.  “And  it  was  that  that  made  me  think  of  you.  After  we  became  friends,  I  have  seen  you  defend  your  loved  ones,  and  over  the  time  yourself  from  what  is  bad.  You  are  brave,  you  have  a  heart  too  big  for  your  own  good,  and  the  best  taste  in  chicken  wings  I  could  wish  in  a  wife.  Thank  you  for  believing  in  me  when  only  my  Nana  told  me  I’m  handsome.  I  love  you”

His  unwavering  gaze  at  mine  gives  me  goosebumps,  but  I  don’t  care  and  wish  I  could  just  kiss  him  already.  At  least  my  cheeks  hurt  from  all  the  smiling.

"I,  Nolan  Lochlainn,  take  you,  Shin-Ae,  to  be  my  wife.  I  promise  to  be  true  to  you  in  good  times  and  in  bad,  in  sickness  and  in  health"  Although  I  have  seen  him  tearing  up  and  nervously  laughing  just  now,  these  words  come  out  in  such  an  assuredness,  warming  my  heart.

God,  now  it  is  my  turn.

Luckily  having  taken  my  flashcards  with  me,  I  smile  at  him,  vision  blurry.

“Nol,  back  when  I  didn’t  have  it  too  easy,  to  me,  you  were  a  sly  person,  a  good-willing  guy  who  came  off  too  strong.  I  didn’t  understand  that  when  you  were  doing  these  things,  you  were  probably  the  most  genuine  person  I  could  have  ever  met.  And  I  am  glad  we  made  it  through  the  times.  You  have  proven  to  me  time  again  that  even  if  there  was  no  other  way  to  both  chase  your  dreams  and  be  there  for  your  loved  ones,  you  made  it  work.  Whenever  I  was  down,  or  had  moments  of  doubts,  you  were  there  to  light  up  my  day,  and  make  the  best  potato  dishes  I  had  the  pleasure  of  eating.  I  love  you,  and  can’t  wait  to  spend  my  life  even  more  with  you.”

I  wish  I  was  better  at  this.  My  voice  quivers  as  I  keep  eye  contact  with  Nol,  taking  a  deep  breath.  But  seeing  him  break  into  a  smile  and  glassy  eyes,  I  just  have  to  reciprocate.  “I,  Shin-Ae  Yoo,  take  you,  Nolan  Lochlainn,  to  be  my  husband.  I  promise  to  be  true  to  you  in  good  times  and  in  bad,  in  sickness  and  in  health.”

He  shortly  looks  at  the  floor,  then  back  to  me.

“Nolan  Lochlainn,”  I  hear  the  speaker  say,  “Do  you  take  Shin-Ae  to  be  your  beloved  and  wedded  wife?”

The  tall  groom  tightens  his  grip  around  my  hand,  closing  up  my  throat.  “I  do.”

I  can’t  help  but  grin  at  him,  looking  shortly  at  the  pizza  cufflink  on  his  suit  to  calm  myself.  But  I  can’t  miss  his  gaze  right  now.  I  want  to  remember  this  for  the  rest  of  my  life.

“Shin-Ae  Yoo,”  there  is  a  long  pause  before  I  look  into  the  eyes  of  the  speaker,  eventually  hearing  the  only  words  that  keep  me  separated  from  calling  Nol  my  spouse.  “Do  you  take  Nolan  Lochlainn  to  be  your  beloved  and  wedded  wife?”

Looking  at  Nol  with  a  smile,  I  have  to  nod  while  saying  “Yes.”

  I  also  tighten  my  grip  around  his  fingers.  Is  this  really  happening?  His  face  looks  just  as  shocked,  but  I  can’t  wait  for  what’s  about  to  come.  “Now  you  may  kiss  the  bride.”

  I  don’t  care  about  the  cheers  once  Nol  approaches  me  and  I  put  my  arms  around  him.  It’s  too  sweet  to  really  describe,  but  I  am  sure  in  will  stay  engraved  into  my  mind.

.

.

.

Fin.

[phaniecastello-blog]

((This is the first time of the end, guys. I had planned to write everything in just one fic but it would be too long and the last rp needed some explanation, so I think here’s everything you need to know before the actual end. I apologize because I had to work on this some time ago, and I tried, I swear but I was distracted by other things, like work, books and stuff ... ;) This is only 1K so yaay. Warning: This maybe contains too much drama, but it was required, I mean, she leaving so... sorry, about that lol. I mentioned @camille-marshall  @maya-edwards ))

The wake-up call“Maybe green?”

“Green?” Rebecca frowned at Lili’s suggestion “It’s a Christmas ball, but she is not the Christmas tree” I chuckled discreetly, I didn’t want Lily to feel offended

“Well.. it’s not your choice, anyway” Lily replied annoyed; and then both of them turned to face me, taking me off guard. I hadn’t said a thing for while then, just watching them argue for a while, as they always did. Sometimes it could be entertaining.

“I guess it is my turn… umm… Sorry, Lily but I think turquoise  will be better.” I reached for her hand “but we should do a green one for a report, maybe?” She gave me half a smile.

Suddenly the Swan’s dance began to play from somewhere near my bed.

“Sorry, it’s my phone, but yeah, turquoise is the color, ladies, thank you” They nodded, made a little courtsy and left the room.

“PIETRO”  read on the screen. Some days ago I had changed my phone number to avoid unpleasant messages filling the RAM and bittering my days, but I did give it to Cam and Peter, in case there was an emergency at home, which is why seeing his name there made me worry.

I must have been in shock for more seconds than I should because the melody stopped playing.

Maybe he tapped the wrong name. I shrugged, biting my nail. The phone rang again. This time I didn’t wait

“Hello?” I realized my real fear was to hear a woman’s voice at the other side of the phone line, knowing Loretta she would have done anything to get what she wants, even stole the phone of the out poor driver.

“Miss Stephanie!” I left out the air I was unconsciously holding and smiled, relieved.

“Ciao, Pietro! I’m so glad to listen to you! How’s everything going at home? How’s Cam and the others? What about my little Moe?... Are you taking care of the car? You know you can use it, for your personal matters, right? Also, do you think you can keep it in your home?...” I slumped on the bed.

“I’m not sure your mother would like that, but, eh, Moe? … umm everyone, I mean, everything is okay, here” He replied with a nervous tone, it seemed that he didn’t even listen to what I said.

I sat on the bed again, something was clearly wrong “It doesn’t sound like it”

“I have something important to tell you, Miss...”

I remained silent, he didn’t know how to start but after some seconds and a lot of stuttering and long uncomfortable pauses he managed to tell me the story about a call that he had heard Loretta was having while he was taking her to the fashion house. She was talking with someone about getting rid of the other selected since I had decided to leave her out of my life and had preferred to look for the Queen’s forgiveness and advice.

“That soccioca ragazza thinks she can get rid of me so easily! I don’t even need her to get what I want”  Peter, heard her say. The more I listened to the story, the more rage I felt in my veins

“ … and I didn’t mean to interlude in things that don’t concern me, but I talked to Cam and she told me you had to know all this”

“Don’t worry, Peter, you do the right thing, even though, I’m sure she wanted me to know this, that’s why she let you listen to it. It was meant to be a threat. Thank you and thank Cam for me, I have to go” I hung up and threw the cell phone on my bed.

I couldn’t believe this was happening, Loretta was really determined to make my life in the palace so miserable.

My life in the palace. The words keep echoing in my mind.

This time she was going too far, since manipulating me hadn’t worked she was going to make the rest of the ladies drop, somehow.

Is she just bluffing or she actually can do this? Who is going to help her? How does she always find out about every step I take?

I tried to answer those and a lot more questions by myself. I guessed if everything that was told about her back in Spencer’s selection was true, she must have had allies, more specifically staff allies, guard allies and obviously she still had them.

Wow, that’s what I call loyalty, but in exchange for what? … no, no, let’s not get there.

I was a fool to think that changing my phone number would make a difference, but no more avoiding the problem, this time I was angry enough to find a solution, this time I felt no fear or frustration; I was sure the solution was in my hands, in fact, I had already thought of something, the one I called “The last resource”

I spent the whole day and part of the night thinking, I even skipped dinner, which made Maya knocked on my door to check on me and Marshall 10 min after that, but I used my real headache as an excuse. I felt tempted to tell them everything, but this was my problem after all and if the things turn out as I expected, no one else would have to worry about my mother’s threats, not even Nate; he was being so sweet, trying to adjust his schedule to spend time with us. Having to pick a future wife out of a small group of girls and in the less time possible was stressing enough…

The thought of him filled my heart with different emotions at once, and in my mind were all the kind words and advice of my true friends, again, the ones that have made me feel valuable and important beyond the cast, beyond my roots,d beyond my middle name.

There was also, Queen’s Aubrey’s voice “Do you care about my son?” And the answer was yes, yes I did care, enough to keep him far from this whole situation for good.

Suddenly, Loretta’s allies, her reasons, what she was capable of… all that lost importance and “The last resource” became the only one, I had to do this for Nate, but most important for myself and I had no time to lose.

[holoitsryn]

92 question meme tag thing

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself and then tag 25 people

I was tagged by @jorgeva :D

LAST… [1] Drink: Dr. Pepper [2] Phone call: My granny [4] Song you listened to: An OST from NieR:Automata (can’t remember which one)

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] Dated someone twice: Only one person and wow was that a mistake. [7] Been cheated on: Hahahaha, constantly! [8] Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah. [9] Lost someone special: My aunt. Christina Grimmie if idols count. [10] Been depressed: Every day. [11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: Gotten tipsy but that's it

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS… [12] Purple [13] Blue [14] Black

[15] IN THE LAST YEAR… [16] fallen out of love: Mhmm [17] laughed until you cried: A few times [18] found out someone was talking about you: When are they not? I'm a bitch. [19] met someone who changed you: Ehhh, I guess so. [20] found out who your true friends are: I mean, I kinda already knew? so no? [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: No

GENERAL... [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Like, all but 10 [23] do you have any pets: 2 black cats. Cc and Luna. [24] do you want to change your name: Yep [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Went to see Suicide Squad with 3 of my friends, had food at a Chinese Buffet, and ate ice cream cake. [26] what time did you wake up: around 10am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping [28] name something you cannot wait for: Reaching the point in life where I can say I'm happy. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Like 30 min ago. [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Everything about my appearance. Does that count? [31] what are you listening to right now: White noise. [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yesssss! He's one of my closest friends and I even named my Eldarya companion after him! [33] something that is getting you nervous: Job searching [34] most visited website: Youtube, facebook, MCL, Eldarya, tumblr [35] elementary: If it wants the name, no. Elementary was the best point of my life though. [36] high school: No. Fucking hated it. I hated almost everyone there. God. [37] college: Not happening. [38] hair color: Blonde [39] long or short hair: Medium [40] do you have a crush on someone: No but that may change ~_~ [41] what do you like about yourself: My eye color. Central heterochromia is dope. [42] piercings: None [43] blood type: No idea. [44] nickname: Ryn, Dre, Dex, Dres, Blizzie, Blizz [45] relationship status: Single af [46] zodiac sign: Leo [47] pronouns: Usually referred to as She/her. I don't really care what pronouns people use though. [48] fav tv show: The Magicians and Switched at Birth [49] tattoos: None [50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST… [51] surgery: Mah toeee (pff @elenaryli -- my mom when we were skyping ROFL) [52] piercing: none [53] best friend: Someone named Connor I think. Don't talk to him anymore, feelsbad. [54] sport: Cheerleading. It sucked. [55] vacation: Uhh, I think Florida? [56] pair of trainers: no idea

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: Nothing [58] drinking: Dr. Pepper [59] i’m about to: Play games with mah boy Leo. I hope. ~_~ [60] listening to: White noise [61] waiting for: Idk nothing? [62] want: Stuff for prom [63] get married: Eventually. [64] career: Aiming for cosmetology

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: idk, don't really get either [66] lips or eyes: Lips? [67] shorter or taller: Taller [68] older or younger: Older [69] romantic or spontaneous: Both kek [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach. Nothing muscular tho cuz that creeps me the fuck out :^) [71] sensitive or loud: Sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: Relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: No [75] drank hard liquor?: No [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? I constantly do. [77] turned someone down: Quite a few times. [78] sex on first date?: Never done it at all. But I'd definitely never do it on a first date. [79] broken someone’s heart?: Maybe once or twice. [80] had your own heart broken?: Quite a few times. [81] been arrested?: Yes kek [82] cried when someone died?: Um, yeah? Still cry and it's been nearly a year. [83] fallen for a friend?: Sadly.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: Noooo [85] miracles?: Nope. [86] love at first sight?: No. Unless it's for an animal :^) [87] Santa Claus?: No [88] kiss on the first date?: Eh, maybe. [89] angels?: Fuck no.

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: @elenaryli love u becca [91] eye color: Blue and green. [92] favorite movie: I have a lot. Alice in Wonderland, Tallulah, Beyond the Lights, and Moana are a few to name.

Not tagging 25 people cuz tbh I can’t think of 25 people? sorry lol.

@elenaryli @random-girl2002 @just-abby-maya @libra-and-aries

Don’t have to do this if you don’t want. <3 Sorry if the tag is annoying :’3

[eveningful]

92 TRUTHS TAG srules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

I was tagged by @aurore-et-clairdelune thank you ♥

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mum [3] text message: my college [4] song you listened to: Course of Nature - Caught in the Sun [5] time you cried: like two days ago

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: hmm nope [7] been cheated on: i sure as hell hope not  [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yas [9] lost someone special: yeah :( [10] been depressed: since i was 9 [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blood red [13] rust [14] mu gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: yes [17] laughed until you cried: yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: yes [19] met someone who changed you: yes [20] found out who your true friends are: i have none basically lol [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i don’t remember

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like half of them idk maybe more [23] do you have any pets: yes, a dog named maya and two turtles [24] do you want to change your name: a little but i wouldn't do it bc its secret [25] what did you do for your last birthday: my dad cancelled my party but two of my friends invited me for a sleepover. i still can't get over the fact my dad didnt let me have a party bc i didnt go to college for one day [26] what time did you wake up: around 11am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching tv [28] name something you cannot wait for: finish college [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like 5 mins ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: that i didnt suffer from bpd, gad, ptsd, depression etc but also that my grandparents were still here bc i miss them and my mom does too [31] what are you listening to right now: sabrina the teenage witch on the telly [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: dont think so [33] something that is getting on your nerves: people who intentionally pick on others for the sake of it or people who are not compassionate towards others [34] most visited website: facebook [35] elementary: concluded [36] high school: concluded  [37] college: central saint martins or bu [38] hair colour: dark brown with shades of red [39] long or short hair: long [40] do you have a crush on someone: no [41] what do you like about yourself? i care a lot about people and i notice the things other people don’t. i also am very deep and intense. Physically: the beauty spot above my lips, my butt is big and my waist is small but i’m obese now so it doesn't matter lol

[42] piercings: none

[43]blood type: ???? idk 

[44] nickname: manda [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: pisces [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: that 70s show, once upon a time, sabrina the teenage witch, spongebob, 2 broke girls [49] tattoos: no but considering [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: i don’t remember, think it was tonsils taken out [52] piercing: none [53] best friend: i don’t really have one. i mean, i used but things changed and we are still quite close but i don’t consider myself as having one. maybe my mom [54] sport: belly dancing, walking, swimming [55] vacation: the beach [56] pair of trainers: ????

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: go to bed [60] listening to: nothing [61] waiting for: my tablet to charge [62] want: in verona or paris [63] get married: nope [64] career: film director

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses:

a very soft and bear-like hug or a passionate yet gentle kiss

[66] lips or eyes:

pouty lips and sad eyes

[67] shorter or taller:

taller

[68] older or younger:

younger is cute but older is hot

[69] romantic or spontaneous:

both

[70] nice arms or nice stomach:

arms  

[71] sensitive or loud:

sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship:

none

[73] troublemaker or hesitant:

both

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? yes [75] drank hard liquor? no [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? yes  [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? yes [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? sometimes [85] miracles? yes [86] love at first sight? yes [87] santa claus? i would like to [88] kiss on the first date? yes  [89] angels? idk yes

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name:  [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movies: paris, texas, walt disney’s alice in wonderland, the dreamers, the virgin suicides, marie antoinette, picnic at hanging rock, badlands, the perfume...

I’m tagging @artifakts @lilithandtheserpant @vindra @lavenderdawns @briggyjudith @cocaine-mami @freefalldaisy and whoever wants to do this <3

[mymadcrazydiary]

January 27, 2006 (13 yrs. old)

Dear Diary,

Wow alot has changed. Don’t worry I still like Ben! I mean like seating. In Mrs. Tilly’s class I sit next to Dean P. and Nick S. In Mrs. Michaels class I sit next to Chris and Dean S. (who never comes NE more) (& I’m 2 people away from Ben!) In Mrs. Weller’s class I sit next to Brian. In music I sit next to Jacob & Will. Annnd in art Mike and Ben! Yayness. Any way this New Year we went to South Carolina again and now I’m into South Park. Last Friday I slept over at Hollys house. It was so fun! Now to today! Well..sorta. On Wednesday I got my bangs cut & it looks sooo bad! So Mom’s actualy letting me stay home yesterday and today. But I miss Ben...This morning for like 15 min straight all I did was think of what I miss about him. Seriously. Oh yeah, it was funny the other day because he called pretzels “a bunch of stale bread.” lol. I ♡  him so much! If only he liked me and not that Ashley person who probably has FGA and OGG lol Maya. (Flappy Grandma Arms & Old Granpa Gobbler)

★ Jennifer ★

[raynuacpp]

Week 12-13 Summaries

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XjtHB5jBvcC-u__Lr88mcCfQuV3JFpeH/view?usp=sharingby now most of my work has been done, to do with both projects, modelling environments and characters, etc. etc.

Although the weekly group summaries just kind of annoy me, I didn’t attend some later reviews sometimes yes because I was just busy but sometimes because I just felt they were unnecessary. Like, yes, I understand the tutors need to see an up to date footage of our work to make sure we don’t fail but I have done basically everything a while ago, I just kept getting useless feedback, and whilst I understand it’s my fault for not being there at the time to explain myself, the time when I did explain myself to the group they just sot of disregarded the comments which is annoying. 

Although first things first I’m going to come to some of the members of TR-8R getting an extention. Quite frankly, this was going to happen. And quite frankly, I told them this was going to happen eventually, and also the fact that they will probably not be able to finish the animation if they don’t change up some roles and some mediums. 

I can’t exactly remember when this was, probably in week 3. But I had a discussion with Kaitlin from group B (on a side note I talked to Kaitlin as she was basically the person in charge, even though we never actually discussed a director, she basically was). So I told her that firstly we have, 1, 2D animator, who doesn’t actually want to animate... so why are we doing 2D?

Second, she is going to do 2D animation, when she does not going to pursue 2D animation in the future... then why bother, I told her, just change it up, make use of this last project and just focuse on what she needs, not what the group needs.

Third, the medium again, let’s do stopmotion with some 2D mix, again the only 2D person didn’t want to animate... but this wasn’t just for her sake, so if she needs 2D animation... then animate... as we had 3 CG people and a stopmotion, and that’s why I suggested doing stopmotion, as it’s pretty similar to CG we could have helped... a LOT. But then she said “it’ll be fine”... lol that’s what I said to myself on a few submissions. 

Also I have mentioned before about getting feedback I didn’t agree with. It was about giving the model more geometry... because then that makes the origami creature act more like paper. Now... that’s not really the case. When it comes to rigging something in Maya, yes the geometry will make some difference when the model is high poly, but when we are talking about ‘Box’ modelling, and rigging a box model... they act very differently. 

I can actually explain this and give exampels very easily. So here it is:

Now, here are two pictures... by now I assume that whoever is reading this have watched both clips, if not I have provided 2 links at the bottom for them. 

Now the feedback was again, “not life like, need more geometry” in a nuttshell.

Bare in mind... for the first clip the feedback was “believeable paper like movements”... soooo yeeee, and here is why that happened:

Animation, composition, render. Funnily enough the first model that I used actually had less polies than the second. I mentioned Render, being pretty important because, the footage is a playblast, it looks meh, and I can see a lot of things I shouldn’t. And that last part is what takes me to the first point being Animation, I didn’t get the feedback for my test for no reason... I have a basic... but okay understanding of weight and first and secondary motion... which allowed me to make a fluid enough animation. First motion actually being the wings, and secondary being the body, because it is the body that’s being moved by the wings, so that the flying creature can fly, just like birds... it’s not difficult. I made my clip in like... 5 mins... or less... just saying... I can’t imagine how long this other one took. In the other animation the creature doesn’t actually fly... it just hovers from side to side, then flaps it’s wings ocassionally. Which meant the animation looked poor. And therefore unbelieve, and non paper like. Which is why poly count was blamed for. Coming back to composition, if you don’t animate something well, at least you can try and cheat with camera work. I do that a lot... when something looks crap... I use a certain camera angle to take the focuse of whatever I didn’t like in the scene. Also render isn’t actually that important I just can get overwhelmed in my own rant.

p.s. It is practically my fault for not being there and trying to reason with Kris... I get that, I’m just saying when I tried to explain to the group (a lot more sublty, in person I would never rant this much hahaha), but yeah they just dissregarded it. And that’s why I’m now ranting about it... cause it’s not the model, but the animator. In my opinion, but who am I to judge.

Links to both clips:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XjtHB5jBvcC-u__Lr88mcCfQuV3JFpeH/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IIh_oeY087L6AtV4pG26PofdlNQ9qwaI/view?usp=sharing

Note: this second scene is somewhat old, it has slightly been improved upon for the most up to date version of the animation, but that it is, in my opinion it’s actually worse in the most up to date, mainly just because I always got complained at for not sticking to design sheets... even though it’s the designs that because inconsistent, I always tried my best with them. But that scene is not what we actually wanted in the final version. (Note: I do not have the scene I am talking about, I was shown it in person). 

[hellreads]

Hi! Can you suggest some good immersive fics that will make me feel all the feels? Even better if they're series! Thank you I love your blog!!

hi there sweetie, thank you for loving this blog, lemme love you too!💕💖✨ hmm this is tricky, to ask me of all people for immersive fic recommendations because I always immerse (to me reading something I enjoy and immersing in it makes me feel like I’m an actress playing the part so whatever genre it is watch me get into it 100%) but I’ll try and make a list of fics one per member, where I immersed myself through and through (shit this is harder than I thought, btw WII stands for why I immersed lol ~ list under the cut) 😅 | 🍒

➴ Kim Namjoon❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah​➴ Author/Yandere!AU | Author!Namjoon x Agent!Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…”➴ WII: I love Misery by Stephen King plus its movie adaption and LTVW gave me reverse Misery vibes, I know most people wouldn’t want to put themselves or immerse into stories like this but the adrenaline rush of being in MC’s shoes? delicious, I felt like as soon as Namjoon’s plan came to fruition my body astral projected to see him in all his yandere glory.

➴ Kim Seokjin❥ In the Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx​➴ Idol/Prostitution!AU | Idol!Seokjin x CEO!Reader x Idol!Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.So what happens when you mix fire and ice?You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.➴ WII: tbh starting this fic I never really knew what I was getting into, all I saw was Kim Seokjin and I was sold, I was never a Park Chanyeol stan before reading this but I ended up being one, there’s a lot going on in this series but to immerse and be in a love triangle between the two men and feel the push and pull plus intense passionate emotions they’re willing to shower you with will tear you apart, but don’t worry there are two doors at the end of the story you get to choose between Jin or Chanyeol. 

➴ Min Yoongi❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective/Infidelity!AU | Detective Inspector!Yoongi x Homicide Detective!Reader x Teacher!Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.➴ WII: I have always had a thing for working in forensics, profiling people, investigating crime scenes, and basically any investigator/detective/analyst work and this story right here helped me get that feel because there are actual cases they work on here with vivid descriptions to help that wild imagination of yours *wink* + the whole infidelity affair is a mystery you’ll have to use your deduction skills.

➴ Jung Hoseok❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Mob/Infidelity!AU | Mob Boss!Jin x Wife!Reader x Mob!Yoongi x Mob!Hoseok | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.➴ WII: this will put you in a rollercoaster ride of emotions there are actually three members here that will make things quite hard for you, but I have to say BG Hoseok is definitely one of my favorite characterizations of him, though there will be a push and pull of emotions once you get further into the story.. also, you’ll have to go through so much because immersing in this one will hurt a lot to the point where your heart is almost numbed.

➴ Park Jimin❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland​➴ Neighbor/Stalker!AU | Stalker!Jimin x Neighbor!Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.➴ WII: hey it’s ya girl danger lover (my tag line lol), seriously immersing in this one will kinda make you wonder about MC and her choices as if Jimin cast a spell on her, there is this psychological manipulation he uses on her and it will drive you to madness because you will still bend to him and find him irresistible + the kinks here = wildt.

➴ Kim Taehyung❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax​➴ Assassin!AU | Assassin!Taehyung x Assassin!Kinsoo x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know➴ WII: now I know you’re probably wondering if it’s possible to immerse in fics with named OC? as I said I’m an actress who plays the part when reading and to immerse into the enigma that is Kinsoo is a wonderful experience, this belongs to the list of the intense fics I immersed into and if you’re the type to go all out when immersing no matter what genre or theme (taboo) the story contains you’ll enjoy the intensity of this one because you get everyone’s POV as you go through making you understand each character better and there is actual assassin work here if you enjoy the stealth way, you’ll appreciate Taehyung and Kinsoo’s work and the people that work for them.

➴ Jeon Jungkook (I’ll list five why not? I have read way too many JJK fics lol)❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Cheater!Jungkook x Cheater/GF!Reader x BF!Jimin | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.➴ WII: if there’s one story I will never shut up about? it’s this one, I always recommend this to friends, this is the perfect depiction of having a taste of your own medicine in fic form, immersing in this one will make you fall for Jungkook and hope for your own ending, but this won’t sugarcoat anything for you and that’s what I love about this story, but tbh I still think of my own ending every single night. sighhhhh.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi​➴ F2L!AU | BFF!Taehyung x BFF/GF!Reader x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.➴ WII: okay, me putting this under the list for Jungkook must expose which side I’m on but that’s not the reason why this is under his name, it’s here because I love his WYLEI characterization so much and if you’ve been reading this series too, you’re probably head over heels in love with the boy too? and immersing in this, feeling all the ways he changed MC’s life and the way he loves her? stop it i’m crying right now. T_T

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Stalker/BF!Jungkook x Noona/GF!Reader x Ex-Fiance!Namjoon x BFF!Seokjin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.➴ WII: ahhhh to be Jungkook’s Noona, I love immersing in this because there’s so much intense passion here, and if you allow yourself to fall into the role you will understand the statement that Love is Blind that people will overlook anything their lover is involved in because so what if they did this or that? they only have hearts in their eyes, the manipulation here might get to you irl, like wow, seriously this was so brilliantly written, how can you not love Jungkook and give him everything right?  

❥ DNA by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Dystopian/Breeding!AU | Stud!Jungkook x Cow!Reader | Series➴ Jungkook’s career is in jeopardy when he begins falling for a woman he’s supposed to impregnate.➴ WII: the futuristic feels? amazing description and details? unique universe? if you’re up for those things this is one amazing read you should be immersing yourself into, I’m so in love with the way this was written, Bee and her galaxy mind will challenge you into painting all of her words in your head and you’ll have an advanced futuristic universe where babies are manufactured and modified to your liking but if you mix feelings into the process and what do you get? ugh, this is just brilliant!

❥ The Fitting by @noona-la-la-la​➴ Idol!AU | Idol!Jungkook x Stylist/Noona!Reader | Series➴ The younger Jungkook has a workplace crush on you, but you let the flattery get to you and make a proposition you can’t take back.➴ WII: who can ever say no to idol!jungkook? prepare to immerse into this tension-filled romance with Jungkook, laced with complications of keeping a secret “relationship“, so this is what happens when fire meets ice at work, and this being an idol!au will give you a glimpse of how they probably keep their affairs hidden from everyone and it can be stressful, full of jealousy, and fights.

➴ OT7 ❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Space!AU | Space Crew!OT7 x Space Crew!Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.➴ WII: BEST.OT7.FIC.EVER. so why not immerse yourself and be the only girl in their universe right? this has so much sexual tension since they only have you sis, but it’s fun to get all the attention tho there will be stressful and trying times, the boys will compensate *wink*wink* 

❥ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne➴ Hybrid/Host-Club!AU | Hybrid!OT7 x Human/Owner!Reader | Series➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.After your estranged mother passes away, you’re left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you’re desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind’s greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.➴ WII: what’s an ot7 fic without tension? majority of the boys are dog hybrids with certain classes and MC has no fucking clue how to deal with hybrids let alone seven of them with two of them being special classes/cases, this will be a little slow-paced as the story starts more on their background/history as hybrids and they’re still getting comfy with one another, which I think is a great way to pull readers in and grow attached to the hybrids.

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | Vampire!OT7 x Human!Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.➴ WII: how can we pass up on vampire!ot7? this is a brilliant story that will have the same haze effect on you as the reader, I immersed hardcore on this one and I’m like who am I? it’s weird when you get affected and get all the phantom feels from reading alone you know? and this will affect you so much I swear to god it’s you literally transported and astral projected into this universe and it’s so pleasing but also frightening to be in the middle of two covens.

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Dystopian/Sex Worker!AU | Idol!OT7 x Physical Companion!Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.➴ WII: this has an interesting take on being Bangtan’s “companion” and to immerse into this one and watching everyone catch feelings and defy the rules for a chance at romance will overwhelm you, you a mere “companion” now the object of their affection and they’re willing to do anything and everything for you even if it means risking it all. 

p.s. I suggest you go through my FICSHELF to view all of the stories I ever read so you get to choose the exact story you want to read, the shelf contains story links (Tumblr and ao3 if any) with summary, warnings, and more info about the fic (character role, genre, au, word count).